#side note how does one go about triggering Boss' obsessions?

[magpie24601]

Like everyone else, I am concerned about how well all the storylines will be wrapped up with only one episode left. Honestly, it's stressing me. Even with an extra long finale and a special episode, I can't envision it, but I'm going to put that to the side for now.

Instead, please tell me, did that so-called fiance actually accuse Phu of somehow "triggering" Cir's obsession? I don't know if it was the subs or what, but it sounded as though she thinks Phu deliberately plotted his way into being stalked.

This was her weirdest tirade yet!

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Series

sinag | psh.

chapter fourteen

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

word count: 3k

warnings: contains harrassment, violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some. (please be responsible and avoid fics that contains warnings that can trigger you.)

note: reblogs and replies are highly encouraged. i truly appreciate your messages to me. it keeps me going. please leave comments and tags when you reblog! thank you so much, stay safe and ily!

eeunoia 2025 © all rights reserved.

Days passed by quickly, but for you it was so long since you’ve seen something that isn’t owned by Park Sunghoon. He had kept you hostage inside his big fancy mansion.

After what happened in that restaurant, he hasn’t taken you outside again. Maybe it was for the best. Just thinking that you may cause someone’s life being taken with no mercy again, haunts you.

He’s also being careful around you. Still very strict and limits the things you can do, but tries to treat you more softer. You have no idea if that’s a good thing, but as long as you’re not causing anyone trouble, it was fine.

“How was Aelia?” that was the first thing Jake asked Sunghoon the moment he stepped foot inside his office.

The man’s furrowed brows indicates that there’s no progress with your relationship. Jake doesn’t even need to ask twice and there’s no need for Sunghoon to open his mouth.

“Was it you last night?” Jake asks again.

Sunghoon kept his eyes darted outside the big glass window of his office, staring at nowhere. Jake watched his friend silently. He thought he’s not going to respond, but he did.

“You said I need to be patient on her. Who do you think should receive my anger?” his eyes are stone cold, tone icy.

Jake sighed heavily and rest his back. He’s quite right about that. He had known him long enough to know that one of his was to let out steam is to go out killing people that messes with him.

“What’s your plan on her?”

“The same. But she’s surely testing my patience these days. I don’t think she’s afraid of me anymore.”

Jake pursed his lips, “Does she need to be afraid?”

Sunghoon sighs, “I would never hurt her. You know that.” and he looked at his friend.

“I know that.”

After a while, Jake decided to leave because he said he have some ‘important matter’ to deal with. Sunghoon almost scoffed right in front of his face. His friend is trying so hard to be sleak, but he knew that he’s trying to deal with that girl he met on that plane.

“Boss.” Sunghoon’s head lifted when Icarus entered his office.

He bows before proceeding on what he’s about to say. Sunghoon rests his back and just listen with a slightly occupied mind.

“I found where her parents live and also Mr. Sim gave me the address where she stays while working under your company.” he reported that made Sunghoon tilt his head over to the side.

“Let’s go visit her parents.” he decided and stood up.

Icarus nods his head and bows before waiting for him to leave the room first. Once the boss is out, his guards escorted him until he made it outside of the building and into his private parking lot.

He chose to ride one of his sports car as Icarus and the others follows him with their vehicles.

Since you’ve constantly informed Sunghoon about how it upsets you to leave your family and friends behind. He gave it a lot of thinking and realized that they must have been worried sick because you’ve been missing for almost a month.

Its not like he cares about them or their feelings. He cares about you and clearly, this affects you so much. If this can atleast make you feel better, he will do this. He doesn’t care if your family will hate him. All he thinks of is how he can support them as its what you’re main concern is.

Sunghoon couldn’t help but to smile a little, thinking how caring you are for your family. Just imagining you being like that towards him and your future family tugs every bit of his heart.

His car stops in front of a normal looking house by the edge of the town. Its located in a not so secure environment. His brows furrowed hardly, stressing out thinking that you used to live in this kind of place.

Icarus stands by the pathway towards the door. It seems like the neighborhood are filled with very curious people as they start to go out of their houses to check what’s going on.

Of course, they will be curious of it. Its not like everyday that multiple fancy vehicles parked on their street.

But once they got the view of Sunghoon coming out of his car, their faces turned pale and quickly tries to act as if they’re minding their own business.

He rolled his eyes and walked straight towards the door. He stood tall and proud while waiting. Icarus was the one who knocked on the door.

They waited for a few seconds before they heard a few shuffling sound from the other side of the door. A lady opened it, hairs have curlers while a cigarette placed between her lips.

Sunghoon’s brows creased at the sight of the mid-forties lady. His men are very certain when it comes to researching about people. He’s sure that they got it right and if he’s not mistaken, this lady in front of him is your mother.

“What do you want? Who are you people?” her rude tone almost made his brows raised. She’s so far from how you are.

“My boss wants to speak with you, Ma'am.” Icarus interrupted as he noticed how Sunghoon’s mood are slowly turning foul. He knew his boss very well.

“Why? I have no time!” she was about to close the door to them, but Icarus was fast enough to stop her. She seems pissed about it.

“Its about your daughter.” Sunghoon spoke and he saw how she seems very intimidated by how cold his tone was.

She quickly dismissed that emotion and replaced it in a much annoyed expression.

“What about her?! I don’t care about her! Why? Did she owe you some money?! Stop coming here because we won’t pay you anything!” her face was so red. Clearly letting him know how the two of you doesn’t have a good relation.

“That bitch is ungrateful! After we raised and feed her she will only give us a few amount of money every month?!” she huffed.

Sunghoon’s jaw clenched at what he heard. Even Icarus find it unbelievable that these words came out from someone you’re blood related to.

“Icarus...” Sunghoon called his attention while staring with piercing eyes towards your Mother.

“Boss?”

‘Get the gun and kill her.’ is what he wanted to say, but your face flashes through his mind. His heart burns in anger just by thinking how pure your heart is for still caring at such horrible people.

He let out a sigh, managing to calm down after remembering your face.

“Show her.” he commanded and with no hesitation, Icarus asked for the brief case that one of his men carries.

Your Mother was about to complain, but words got stuck on her throat at the sight of a stack of cash inside the briefcase. Her mouth gaps open, almost drooling. He almost scoffed at how pathetic she looks.

“A-Are you giving that t-to us, Sir?” now she’s polite.

“Yes.”

Her eyes sparkled and was about to stretch her arms, but Icarus closed it. Almost getting her hand caught in between.

“But I have conditions.” Sunghoon tilts his head and cocked at brow at her.

“Can we go inside and discuss it briefly?”

Your mother panicks to open the door widely for them. She couldn’t talk straightly and even calls someone out, informing them that they have visitors. He assumes its your bastard father.

“Who are these people? Why did you let them in our house, (Mom’s name)?” just like her, he seems unhappy because of them.

She was quick to shush him and even asked him to sit down at one of the sofas after offering Sunghoon the single sit. Icarus pat it clean that made your father’s brows furrow hardly. He’s thinking how arrogant this young man is.

“D-Do you want some water? We have tea!” your Mom offers.

Sunghoon shook his head, doesn’t really want to beat around the bush. He wants to leave already before he changes his mind and punish them both for how they treated you. He doesn’t need to hear the whole story of it. Just by how she talked about you a while ago was enough for him to put the pieces together.

“I don’t want to waste more of my time so I will be straight to the point.” he stated and tilted his head towards Icarus, commanding him to place the three briefcase filled with money over the counter table.

Your Father’s reaction was the same as your Mom’s. He seems like he completely forgot how he think of how such an asshole Sunghoon is. His eyes are totally focused on the money in front of them.

“I will give you this money. All of it...” he rests his back over the sofa, like a king claiming his throne.

“In exchange,” he starts that made them both look at him. Their desperate eyes tells him they will agree on everything he ask them to do.

“You will never look or bother your daughter ever again.”

“Did she do something stupid again?” your Mom asks a bit stingy.

He raised his brows. “You can have all of that, in return you will never come and see her at all cost. If someone asks you where she is, tell them she went somewhere far.”

Your Father, thristy of money nods his head and even stretches his hand to check if the money in front of them are legit. They are. Just then, he realized how big of a deal this young man is.

“Is she alive?” your Mom asked. Surprisingly, despite the hatred on her eyes, he noticed that she kept asking about you unlike your Father.

“That’s none of your business anymore.” Sunghoon said.

She stared at him and even before she can ask anything again, her husband spoke.

“Stop asking more questions! The important thing is we have all this money! We’re rich and she finally did something good.”

Sunghoon took everything in him to stop himself from punching your Father’s face hard until he’s knocked out.

He sighed and stood up. Your parents stood as well and bowed their heads. He went straight out from that house, making a promise inside his mind that he will not let these people mistreat you ever again.

“Where to, Boss?” Icarus asks while he heads towards his car.

“To the apartment Jake provided for her.” he said shortly. He was informed that your friend lives there with you. He wants to meet her as well.

A big part of Sunghoon wishes she’s way nicer than your parents. He’s seriously enraged thinking how awful this world is to an angel. He wants to start gunning everyone who wronged you but he knows that’s not the right thing to do. He’s winning you, as per his friends.

Its not a long drive actually, or he’s just really preoccupied during the whole ride to your apartment.

His eyes scanned the building and he realized it belongs to Jake. At least you are staying in a secured place, away from your parents.

Icarus and his body guard leaded him towards your floor and in front of the unit. They rang the doorbell with his signal and after a couple of minutes, the door opened.

A girl with a furrowed brows looked at the two of them like as if they both interrupted something very important.

“Who are you?” she asked Icarus seriously.

Sunghoon cocked a brow and already had a bad impression from her. How can she be this rude to people she’s just meeting for the first time?

“We’re looking for Lucie.” Icarus.

Now her eyes settled down on him as she raised a brow, “That’s me. What do you guys need?”

Icarus stared right through her eyes and normally, people starts feeling uneasy whenever he does that but for some reason this girl remains staring back. It makes him a bit… intrigued.

He snapped himself back to his senses and glances towards his boss.

“This is Park Sunghoon.” he indicates and he saw the instant horror over her face.

Now, that’s something Sunghoon enjoys seeing on people’s expression. He maintained the placid look on his face.

“May we come in? He wants to talk to you about something.”

“W-We can talk here.”

Sunghoon lets out a strained sigh, slowly getting impatient about all of this.

“It’s about Aelia.”

Now with the mention of your name, her face looked alarmed. It was obvious that it rings a bells. Her hand lets go from the door for the first time ever since she opens it for them. Her body that was hiding behind it, slowly appears over their eyes.

“A-Aelia? What about her?” she asked, tone sounding soft and longing.

For the very first time, Sunghoon saw someone who actually looks genuine to hear something from you.

Her worried expression vanished when he remained silent and she gave him this glares.

“What did you do to her?!” she accused and even stepped closer.

Icarus looked surprise at her actions. Not just she acts rudely towards them, but now shouts over Park Sunghoon despite knowing who he is.

If this is a normal situation, he would’ve take offense on what she just did. But since she seems like she cares for you, he ignores all of it.

“She’s all right.” once those words left his mouth, the look of relief showers over your friend’s face.

“Where is she? Is she with you?” she even tries to peak through the door to check if you’re there with them.

“No.” he shortly replied.

“Then where is she? And why are you here?”

He sighs, “Let’s talk inside.” he instruct and gave a look over Icarus.

He understands it right away and pushed the door open, a little enough to make your friend back away from it. She looks caught off guard and terrified, but still tries to keep his tough facade.

“Hey! Nobody allowed you to come here— Hey!” she says, obviously warry of what’s going to happen.

Sunghoon roams his eyes around the place. It looks neat and cozy. Something he would imagine how you will decorate your place. He felt something thugged in his heart and he slowly walks towards this side cabinet. His hand reaches for one of the frames where your picture is.

You looked so happy having that wide smile on your face. A part of him aches seeing you this happy. He has never seen you smile this big and genuinely ever since he had you.

He’s still spacing out while looking at your picture when a pair of hand grabbed it from him. Your friend glared over Sunghoon while hugging your picture like her life depends on it. His eyes dropped on it.

“Who said you can touch things inside our place?” she was fiesty, he would give that to her.

Sunghoon inhaled and tilt his head to the side.

“Icarus, give it to her.”

His assistant nods his head before motioning one of his other men to take the money he prepared for her.

Your friend looked confused as she waits for his return. Sunghoon kept staring at her, like trying to read her over her facial reactions.

When Icarus came back holding a briefcase filled with money, he saw how her eyes locked on it for a few seconds. He was expecting her to feel relaxed or have the slightest hint that she’s letting her guard down, but instead she gave him a bashful look.

“What’s this?” she asked and kept staring.

Sunghoon kept silent, analyzing that look on your friend’s face.

“This is money for—”

She loudly scoffed before crossing her arms, “Are you bribing me?”

Sunghoon’s brows twitched, irritated when she interrupted him while he’s saying something.

“Listen, Mr. Park.” she starts.

“I know who are you and all the bad things you’re doing. Yes, you have all the money and resources, but you cannot bribe me with money just to keep me quiet!”

Sunghoon tilts his head as he let out a strained sigh and shutting his eyes close for a while. This is surely draining his energy. Your friend is a bit handful, her personality if he’s being more accurate. He’s starting to wonder how on earth did someone as sweet as you managed to be friends with someone as loud as her?

“I am not bribing you.” he objected.

Your friend’s lips pursed, a bit embarrassed. Regardless, she tries hard not to show it on her face.

“That’s my way of taking care of the things Aelia left behind. Seeing you react like this, I assume your relationship with her is tight. She’ll hate it if she learned that I didn’t took care of you.” he deadpans.

Your friend stays silent for a bit while before she gasps loudly while pointing towards Sunghoon.

“Oh my god! Are you her sugar daddy?!” the sincere shock on her face made Sunghoon confused on what to feel.

In the end, he grimaced then turned his back at her. Now, he is kind of worried because he realized you have a crack head as a roommate.

“I’ll be leaving.”

“Wait! But where is she? Hey!” and her voice got muffled as she was left behind while Sunghoon head straight outside.

“She did what?!” Riki laughed as loud as he can while holding his stomach, hands slamming over to the conference table.

Sunghoon stared at him with slight glare while his two other friends are laughing with the youngest one.

“Wow, she is a character.” Jake commented.

“Sugar daddy—HAHAHAHAHAH” Riki continued laughing that made Jay throw a ballpen at his direction.

“Get over it idiot.” Jay, but he must admit he almost shed tears laughing about it too.

“Fuck you, Nishimura.” Sunghoon said while cleching his jaw.

“But are you that old to be a sugar daddy already? Damn.” Ni-ki asked while still trying to get ahold of himself.

Jake rolls his eyes while still smirking.

“At least you know Aelia had one person who is good to her.” Jake states.

“Yeah, her parents are just trash.” Ni-ki.

“Speaking of which. Riki’s men saw them entering casinos day after day ever since you gave them money a week ago.”

Sunghoon shrugs his shoulder off. “I don’t fucking care what they’re up to. As long as they don’t bother us.”

“What if they ask more money?”

“They’ll have a gunshot instead.”

Jay laughed. “Damn, you’re a bit scary.” he said sarcastically.

“Anyway, have you thought about what I suggested you to do?” Jake diverted the topic.

Sunghoon glanced at him and sighed while he plays over the pen that was on the table.

“Do you think it will help her?”

Jake smiles, “More like it’ll help you to gain her trust.”

Sunghoon lets out a sigh and just nodded his head shortly. Jake smiled wider before he started discussing their meeting about a transaction he just sealed.

After the meeting with his friends, Sunghoon headed straight home. He’s so tired and he knew all he needed is to see you. It’s been a week already and although he can see that you’re not that stubborn anymore, you’re still so resisting him.

“You didn’t eat again?” he asks while eyeing the untouched food beside your bed.

You developed the habit of not looking at him and its seriously pissing him off.

He sighs and slowly walked towards your bed. You remained unbothered and didn’t even moved. Now, that’s one of the things that changed. Before you would be scurrying yourself to be pressed on the headboard of the bed, you don’t do that anymore.

“Here.” he placed a paper on top of your bedsheet.

Your head craned to look at it and for the first time, you two met eyes. The familiar shivering of your spine are still there.

“What’s that?”

“Open it.” he instructed.

You looked hesitant. The last time he had you opened something, your whole life crashes down. Feeling a bit traumatized about it, you remained staring at him and not touching that paper.

He lets out a sigh.

“It’s a reward. Since I heard you’ve been behaving these past few days.” he says.

“What kind of reward?” you still sound suspicious.

Sunghoon lets out a big sigh, “It’s from Lucie.”

Your eyes grew big and in a speed of lightning, you reached for that paper. A ghost of smile made it to his lips because of your reaction.

“And before you ask, she’s all right. I didn’t do something bad towards her.” he turned his back and left the room.

A small grin appears to his lips after making it outside your room. Seems like Jake’s suggestion worked.

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[heloflor]

Some info on how I view Cosmo and Wanda’s family lives, more specifically how they grew up and how the two of them meeting went, because again I’m obsessed with Cosmo being so powerful which brought some ideas for his upbringing and meeting with Wanda, which also brought some ideas for Wanda, and I didn’t want to clutter my baby fairies ban and magic abilities posts with it. So here is it now (6.5k words below):

TRIGGER WARNING: Talks of a character basically having depression for the Cosmo section with one sentence implying suicide idealization.

I’m going to start with Wanda since it’s much shorter.

First off, about her mom’s whereabouts, considering her dad is a mafia boss I’m going to go with her having been killed by one of Big Daddy’s enemies, likely when the girls were teenagers since Wanda complains about how their mom always liked Blonda more in “Blondas Have More Fun!” meaning they grew up with her, but at the same time I like the idea of her dying when her daughters are still pretty young (yeah very happy way to start a post, it gets worse in the Cosmo section).

Speaking of the mom liking Blonda more, I could see a situation of Big Daddy being closer to Wanda while his wife is closer to Blonda, though I don’t know if it’s just a question of the girls being more similar to the respective parent thus causing this closeness or if it’s one parent favoring a twin and the other parent deciding to favor the other one to “compensate”. And if it’s the second case, not sure which parent started it.

On that note I could see Wanda working for her father’s company before deciding to become a godparent, like for a while she didn’t know what to do with her life so she helped her dad. She didn’t do any mafia-related stuff tho, she was more of an employee/manager for his cleaning service. Big Daddy was supportive of her pursuing something she feels fits her more (fairies are immortal so it’s not like he needs to have a successor, granted there’s always the chance of him being assassinated).

Meanwhile Blonda doesn’t feel the same closeness to her father so she’d rather pursue her own goals, which I could see as related to their mom in some way. Like the mom probably wasn’t a star but might have been working within the show-business industry, and Blonda got an interest in acting from her and her career was launched through her mother’s connections. Oh and even if they’re not that close, Big Daddy is also supportive of Blonda’s dreams. Mafia or not, he loves his daughters.

More things that could be said about them, maybe after his wife’s passing Big Daddy became more protective of his daughters, thus leading to have some of his higher employees keep an eye on them during their late teens, which could explain Wanda being familiar with some of them in “Big Wanda”. At the same time though he might not want to involve his girls too much into his business so he might instead ask the guys to keep their distance in order to keep his daughters safe.

And speaking of men protecting women, I could see Big Daddy have a bit of a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like, view that he gave to his daughters growing up hence why Wanda dated a macho guy like Juandissimo before realizing she just wasn’t as into him as she thought she would be.

Note that I don’t think Juandissimo was a toxic boyfriend or anything like that. Looking back at his episodes, he’s definitely very self-centered and dramatic which is probably why Wanda got tired of him, but he has a genuinely caring side (the whole thing with him going back to Remy in particular). He does need to get the goddamn hint post-breakup though. Just move on and go date Cupid my dude. He can match your dramatics.

Last thing about Juandissimo while I’m at it, in his debut episode he seems low-key scared of Cosmo during their first interaction (at least I don’t think he was acting), so I like to think that sometime after Cosmo and Wanda started dating, Juandissimo heard about it, challenged Cosmo to a duel or something, Cosmo at first didn’t want to bc he didn’t want to go to jail but Juandissimo was able to provoke him into it, Cosmo starts the duel holding back but eventually gets angry enough to let loose. Juandissimo has been afraid of him ever since, now fully aware of the raw power these noodle arms hold.

Giving one last headcanon for Wanda, since both her and Cosmo seem to know how to fight but I don’t particularly like the idea of fairy godparents undergoing military training during their studies; I’m more into Wanda mentioning “four years at the fairy academy” in “Abra-catastrophe”, meaning those are more “regular” studies. It’s especially funny when considering if you start at 18 you become a fully-fledged godparents at 22, which checks out with Peri if he aged at the same speed as humans.

(For those asking “Operation Birthday Takeback” has Cosmo mention Vicky hurting kids “since 2001” while one of the creators confirmed New Wish took place in 2024. Plus in “Abra-catastrophe” it’s been one year since Timmy had his fairies, and “Fairly Oddbaby” takes place three seasons later. So if Timmy got his fairies in 2001, Poof/Peri was born in 2002 meaning he’d be 22 in 2024, which would check out with him going to fairy academy for four years starting at 18, at least if that’s how the academy works. Though there’s also the possibility that 2001 is when Vicky first got hired by the Turners, meaning Timmy got his fairies in 2002 and Peri is actually 21, born in 2003.)

At the same time, we know Cosmo went to military school at some point which justifies his ability to fight. So for Wanda, I’m simply going with the idea of her father giving her some self-defense training, especially given his profession. Wouldn’t want to lose his daughters the same way he did his wife.

Not sure which would be the better fighter between Cosmo and Wanda though, since I could see Big Daddy take it pretty seriously (thinking of “Most Wanted Wish” and how good Wanda is at the competition; also funny to think about how her, Cosmo and Jorgen are the last three standing when again taking the idea of godparents not having mandatory military training, meaning those three were possibly the ones with the best self-defense training). Big Daddy could even teach her some backhanded/dirty tricks that would make her more unpredictable.

Meanwhile Cosmo is Cosmo and we know he struggles to focus sometimes, but at the same time he’d have gone through a lot more training in an environment made for it. Plus he’s op as hell. So I guess which one is stronger depends on the type of fight, more specifically on whether it relies on magic or wits.

Now moving onto the Cosmo stuff, and long story short since his birth things were a mess. From his destructive nature from birth, his terrible two, Anti-Cosmo’s birth and quick rise to power, all of which led to the baby ban. On top of that, as mentioned in my baby ban post I see Cosmo as the first op fairy in a very long time, meaning his strength was a complete surprise to everyone. And with how destructive his magic is, it wasn’t a good one.

All of this would be the main reason why Mama Cosma is so protective and overbearing. Between the destruction and the baby ban, she would constantly be criticized for giving birth to Cosmo (huge fan of T4T Coswan, which means the whole “male fairies carry the baby” isn’t actually true). Hell maybe the Fairy Council tried to take him away like Jorgen does to Poof in “Fairly Oddbaby”, which would make her even more protective.

The loss of her husband wouldn’t help either. Like I could definitely see their relationship as not being exactly healthy given the kind of person Mama Cosma is (imagine Papa Cosma as one of those parents who know their spouse is a piece of shit but they try to excuse this behavior, thus enabling it), but losing him would still be a shock, especially with two kids to raise, one of which is a walking apocalypse.

On that note the way I see it, when Papa Cosma was turned into a fly, his wife ended up more focused on getting the wand back than she was in making sure her husband was still in her sights. So by the time she got Cosmo under control, she had no idea where he was. And while there would definitely be a search party, and I’m not even sure if he’ll ever be considered dead or “just” missing, ultimately the man was never seen again.

But yeah all of this led Mama Cosma to become overprotective of Cosmo, which in turn led her to neglect Schnozmo who started acting out for attention, quickly becoming a thief. And since he still wasn’t getting anything from his mom, he kept doing it until it eventually led him onto the path to become a con artist.

Now I was wondering a bit about the age difference between the two brothers as I want them to grow under the same roof for the above-mentioned headcanon of Schnozmo being neglected, but also looking at the show Schnozmo doesn’t really have anything against Cosmo, so I could see him be mature enough to realize his mom’s the problem (granted the show takes place thousands of years later so they had more than enough time to talk things out). Also with fairies being immortal, who knows what the “usual” age difference between siblings is.

So ultimately I’m going with them being about 12-13 years apart, on top of adult fairies usually staying quite a while at their parents’ home since again they’re immortal. Like at minimum a fairy would spend the first 50 years of their life living with their parents, probably longer. Peri in New Wish is an exception due to growing up as the only child in a society of adults and feeling babied by everyone (Jorgen, who is literally his boss, calls him “Peri-Weri” in “Lost in Fairy World”, like his fucking boss is babying him). So he encouraged his parents to take their vacation soon after he became an adult and quickly got his own place as well, both in an attempt to prove himself as a responsible adult.

Going back on topic, the way I see it Cosmo and Schnozmo started off very shaky. First off due to their father’s death which I’m sure Schnozmo did not take well, and it probably took a long time for him to forgive his brother for it, that is if he ever forgave him (I could see him still hold that resentment, he just doesn’t voice it).

Then you have the usual “siblings mess with each other” shenanigans which he can’t really do since his brother doesn’t even need a wand to use his magic due to how powerful he is, so good luck messing with him. I could actually see some scenarios of older teen Schnozmo allowing Cosmo to come with him meet his friends (or Mama Cosma is like “take your brother with you I need a break!”) but only if he does cool stuff with his magic for them. It would probably usually not end well, tho not in an “almost destroyed Fairy World” kind of way thankfully.

Oh and it goes without saying that whenever the two of them argue or mess with each other, Mama Cosma sides with Cosmo, which would only make Schnozmo angry and resentful. In general Schnozmo and Mama Cosma would have a very bad relationship. Given how Mama Cosma is, Schnozmo was likely already closer to his dad, but once Cosmo got in the picture and Papa Cosma was gone, it became a mess. Like I could definitely see instances of Mama Cosma being tired and stressed from watching over a baby Cosmo and taking it out on her older son, constantly ignoring his problems and needs because “can’t you see how exhausted I am having to deal with your dysfunctional brother?!”

And who knows maybe she would have considered kicking him out at some point but decided against it to hide the fact her family’s been breaking apart (keeping up appearances in front of other fairies). On that note I do think Schnozmo would go no-contact with his mom once he moves out, only popping back up in her life if he needs something. Not sure how often she’d accept though.

Going back to the brothers, I think what would change Schnozmo's view would be Cosmo’s teenage years in which his struggles with his magic would become much more obvious, making Schnozmo realize how much of a mess his brother actually is and how much he cares for Cosmo deep down, not wanting to lose him. Now ultimately a lot of their adult relationship have to do with Schnozmo using Cosmo’s kindness and naivete against him, but even then I think he’ll come through if Cosmo needs him.

And speaking of Cosmo’s teen years, Cosmo did not have a good time at school, in any grade. The adults in his life (both in and out of school) either hate him for the destruction he causes + the baby ban or fear him for his powers. His classmates wouldn’t be better, mainly being cautious about him even if he didn’t do anything (their parents would warn them to be careful around him) or some fairies would bully him until he strikes back and then play the victim, getting Cosmo in trouble since “you’re the strongest here you need to be careful!”

His intelligence would also be something he’d get picked on for, with some adults really not helping by calling him a waste of potential, talking about how powerful he is and “how much of a shame it is that so much power was given to someone so stupid who can’t use it properly”.

On that note, I honestly think Cosmo has some sort of learning disability. I mean, in his own words in “Apartnership!” the first Mama Cosma episode, “I’m not smart. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent.” and we do see him struggle on several occasions with not understanding words in the og show. Also in “Lost and Founder’s Day” from New Wish he struggles with the spelling of a word, and in “Operation Birthday Takeback” isn’t explicitly told what Dale is doing and figures it out like 30 seconds after Wanda and Peri, with Wanda even making a comment about it (while swooning which is very cute!).

So yeah, while I see him as a prodigy when it comes to using magic (in “This is Your Wish” we see him be able to do incredible things as a kid and he’s clearly doing them on purpose without breaking a sweat), he definitely has a learning disability when it comes to academic stuff, especially when it comes to words from the looks of it.

Tbh you could make a very strong case for Cosmo being neurodivergent, especially adding in the several instances of characters telling him to focus in the og show or just the fact his main issue with magic is the way he understand wishes or the things that come through his brain. Again, in “This is Your Wish” he knows exactly what he’s doing, his train of thought is just different than what’s expected on top of him not realizing the danger of the things he creates.

Also I can’t remember the episode but I saw a scene with him and Wanda talking followed by Wanda and Timmy, and while these two talk Cosmo is just staring off into the distance, completely immobile except for the usual “fairy hovering”, seemingly zoned out. And unlike other instances of him doing that I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a joke in that scene.

So yeah, this man’s probably neurodivergent hence him using his magic in an “unconventional” way, on top of having a learning disability that causes him to struggle with words and be slow to process some information if it’s not explicitly said to him. And when you have those struggles paired with the ability to bend reality to your will by accident, it’s hard.

Another thing about school which would be eerie for him is the fact that he’d start first grade in a school full of fairies, and by the end of middle-school there’s only a single grade left since he’s the last fairy born. So the last year of school he would walk through empty halls and classrooms, meeting teachers who constantly worry about finding new jobs what with the school clearly about to close. This would probably be something that he wouldn’t be picked up for but is still a constant reminder that he’s the reason fairies can’t have kids anymore.

By the way small word about ages but the way I see it the second youngest fairy before Cosmo would be between a week and a few months older (depend if the Fairy World population is in the thousands or the millions), so there are fairies around Cosmo’s age.

And since I’m at it I’ve seen screenshots from an episode showing him and Cupid being in high school together, and I also headcanon him and Wanda as having a bit of an age gap, for example Cosmo being 93 and Wanda 132 years old when they met, something along those lines. So in my headcanon Cosmo and Wanda didn’t go to school together but Cosmo and Cupid did. Also Wanda and Juandissimo were high-school sweethearts, meaning they’re around the same age (tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if the episode showing Cosmo and Cupid also had Wanda at their school but even if that’s the case I’m choosing to ignore it here).

Getting into Cosmo’s teen years, it was though. The bullying and feelings of inadequacy were starting to pile up, along with him fully realizing what “you accidentally killed your father, destroyed Fairy World and probably killed a few fairies doing so, and even though you were a baby at that time who had no idea what he was doing we still think it’s your fault we can’t have babies anymore” truly means. Like the sheer weight of such information must be devastating. Add to it the mess that are teenage hormones and you get someone in a very bad mental space.

Now to give some explanation about my headcanons for magical backup since I’m about to mention it a few times, in “Fairy For a Day” from New Wish, the music fairy makes a comment saying “keep granting each other wishes”, something like that.

So my idea is that magical backup is something every single fairy can suffer from if they don’t use magic to help others for an extended period of time. I would say “if they don’t use magic period other than stuff like teleportation, floating and shape-shifting (aka anything they can do without wands)” but in that case I feel like magical backup wouldn’t be an issue in the slightest. So yeah instead we’re going with them having to help others, especially since in “OddPirates” Wanda wishes to Poof at some point to help him learn, showing fairies can wish to other fairies.

All this to say fairies help each other out in small ways, and if they don’t they fucking die. And considering Cosmo and Wanda seem almost unable to refuse granting their godchildren wishes (at least in the og show, in New Wish you almost never have the “wand deflating” thing because they know beforehand they can’t grant those wishes), on top of scenes like the one in “Apartnership!” when Timmy says “I wish” and dozens of fairies show up, I could see it as fairies being able to refuse wishing for another fairy but being completely unable to do so when a miserable human child does, for reasons I’m too lazy to figure out (probably something about their society needing humans to function to some extent thus having fairies evolve in a way that they need to help humans).

Also I have no idea if magical backup would spread quicker if a fairy has more magic. I guess it’s worth pointing out that for both instances of Cosmo and Wanda getting it, Cosmo was first and it evolved quicker, but then again Wanda wasn’t too far behind. So idk, maybe it does?

Going back to Cosmo, during his teenage years and early adulthood, he would very often suffer the early symptoms of magical backup (confetti + vomiting the way I see it), sometimes worse, due to him refusing to use his magic in fear of hurting other people. In some instances he might even make comments about how Fairy World would be better off without him. Btw this is basically when I see Schnozmo realize just how terrible his brother feels and start being nicer to him. But yeah, Cosmo was in a very bad place as a teen, which continued in early adulthood.

(Side note but him having magical backup so many times could explain him not taking it too seriously at first in the og show, with him pretending to have it for a few seconds to mess with Wanda.)

And throughout all of this Mama Cosma was supportive, telling him there was nothing wrong with him and the others were messing with him and that he should use his magic in small ways if only to keep himself safe...until she didn’t and sent him to boot camp as soon as he was of age.

I like to think that this is when Cosmo started detaching himself from his mom. Just seeing her go overnight from “I love you just the way you are” to “everybody else was right and I’ve been thinking of you as a problem since your birth, I just didn’t want to deal with making you sad” would be a massive betrayal in his eyes.

Note that I believe Mama Cosma sending him to military training is actually a good thing, and pretty much the one good thing that woman did in the show. Given how much destruction we see Cosmo cause, and since as far as we know there aren’t exactly places that could provide the help he needs, a place with strict rules and monitored by potentially very powerful fairies could be the second-best thing to teach him what not to use his magic for.

Btw if you’re wondering I think the best thing for Cosmo would be to have a place where he can use his magic in whatever way he wants without putting anyone or anything at risk. More on that later actually. Second best would be to give him a wand restricting his magic but also I don’t think it would feel good to have something blocking what is supposed to feel natural for you, so it might not be a good solution actually…

In any case, having Mama Cosma reveal she’s been unhappy with her son’s powers this whole time, meaning she’s been lying to him this whole time, would hurt a lot, causing Cosmo to start drawing away from her. On top of that he was now almost an adult so it was also natural for him to seek some independence, even while still living under her roof.

Now onto Cosmo and Wanda’s early relationship (no idea how to make a transition here).

First off, I’m going with the backstory in which the two of them met at a diner, except neither of them were teenagers in my version. As mentioned before Cosmo would be in his late 90s and Wanda around early 130s.

And since I don’t think I mention it anywhere else in this post, I’m going with the headcanon of Cosmo being 10 000 years old during the og show, with him and Wanda being married for 9 895 years as of “Apartnership!” (that’s the number, right?). Which is also why Cosmo is in his late 90s when meeting Wanda, since it means he’d be 105 when they get married (or around that age if you consider that Cosmo is probably not exactly 10 000 years old in the show, rather something like 10 014 for example).

Cosmo would land himself a job as a waiter since he doesn’t need to use magic for it. He’d even let his wand home to further reassure his boss that he’s not doing any magic. He and Wanda meet when Wanda and Blonda come to the place to hang out. Wanda realizes he’s cute and finds herself surprised by it since as mentioned before she was raised with a toxic view of what a man is supposed to be like.

(More specifically I could see Blonda as being the one pointing him out and he accidentally spills a drink on her or something, causing Wanda to be like “oh you’re right sis I like him”.)

Wanda would convince him to go out with her, intrigued by that shy boyfailure trying his best, and during that hangout Cosmo would be pretty closed off, not using any magic partly because he didn’t bring his wand, offhandedly mentioning he got magical backup dozens of times, and by the end of it he’d be like “you’re very smart and pretty and spending time with you was very fun but it’s probably best if we don’t see each other again”.

After the “date” Wanda would talk about it to Blonda who’d probably mock her sister for scaring the guy away. Big Daddy would overhear some of the conversation and recognize Cosmo’s name as the infamous last fairy born whose terrible two almost caused the apocalypse. Wanda and Blonda would be flabbergasted because “dad that guy’s a complete wimp, what do you mean he’s one of the strongest fairies?!” and Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact that this sweet guy is considered a menace, goes around without a wand and has magical backup on the regular, all of which are not good signs.

She’d manage to convince Cosmo to meet her to talk and would just ask him if he’s okay, if he needs someone to talk to. And I could see Cosmo being very taken aback by it, like when he shows up Wanda says she knows about him being the last baby born so he’d immediately assume she’s here to tell him to stay away from her. But no she’s just worried for him and wants to offer some comfort. And with Cosmo at that point having lost trust in his mom, the only person he thought was in his corner, he’d open up to Wanda.

So the two of them would start spending time together, as friends since Cosmo clearly isn’t in the proper state to think about dating right now, though I like to think Wanda was pursuing him a little, if only making him know she’d be interested. But anyways Wanda would quickly catch onto the fact Cosmo never has his wand when they’re together and whenever she suggests he uses hers because it worries her to see him never do magic, he’d refuse, saying it’s safer that way.

Then one day while hanging out Cosmo gets the early signs of magical backup and Wanda doesn’t know what worries her most, seeing him have it or how calm he is about it, which shows how used to it he is. Doesn’t help that he’d insist she brings him home rather than have him use her wand to get rid of it immediately before it gets worse.

That would be the last straw for Wanda who would go to the people her dad works with (her “uncles”) to ask if they know any place where one could use their magic in possibly destructive ways without consequences. And one of them would tell her about the Hocus Poconos, a place where goes all the un-granted wishes from human children. As a result the place is pretty chaotic to begin with and nobody cares what happens to those wishes so it’s fully unsupervised.

So Wanda would waste no time telling Cosmo about that place, convincing him to bring his wand this time around, and after a lot of hesitation and some small wishes he’d start getting more comfortable and unleash his powers, growing visibly more confident. And dumb small note but seeing Cosmo in his element and visibly confident in himself is when Wanda sees him go from cute to hot.

In any case Cosmo would be incredibly grateful and start coming to the Hocus Poconos regularly on his own, feeling a sense of freedom in being able to unleash as much magic as he can while also finding himself loving kids’ imagination, which eventually leads him onto the path to become a godparent.

For Wanda, it’s after seeing Cosmo get better that she realizes how much she enjoys helping others and offer companionship and could see it become her profession. Also maybe the fact the Fairy Council wouldn’t be too keen on letting Cosmo on earth without supervision could influence it as well (meanwhile everyone would think they’re allowed to work together due to being a couple), but then again I don’t want it to be a “she chose this work solely for Cosmo” type of situation.

Same with her helping him with his confidence btw, hence me saying he’d go back to Hocus Poconos on his own. While Cosmo would definitely gush about Wanda saving his life, she didn’t “fix” him or anything like that. She was someone he could talk about his problems to and offered suggestions for things she thought could help him, but he still was the one who had to follow through on his own. And whenever Wanda had issues of her own, he’d return the favor, being there to comfort and help her.

And about him saying Wanda saved his life, after a while of using his magic more and more often, he’d think about how, if he hadn’t met someone like her to encourage him to use his magic without being afraid, he’d probably have either died of magical backup or from its side effects from having it too often. At the same time I’m not going to say “him thinking this is why he fell in love with Wanda” because again I don’t want to fall into the trap of a character “fixing” another or putting them on a pedestal.

Back on topic, having a place to spend his magic would do wonders for Cosmo’s self-esteem, giving him space to try new things, make mistakes or even just create a black hole or two if he feels like it. That doesn’t mean he’d suddenly be completely fine, he’d still feel self-conscious about people hating him for his magic (and tbh just looking at the og show Cosmo comes off as deeply insecure at times, so yeah he’s not suddenly all happy), but it would definitely put him into a better mental state.

Also, feeling more confident he’d start to reciprocate Wanda’s flirting, pursuing her back. And yeah as a result it would be one of those relationships where you significant other is also your best friend.

As for the “speed” of their relationship, I could see the transition from friends to lovers as being a bit slow due to them wanting to make sure this is truly what they both want and not just Cosmo lashing onto the first person he trusts, plus Wanda’s family life is dangerous so she wants Cosmo to make sure he knows what he’s getting himself into. But once their relationship gets serious there’s no stopping it.

And speaking of stopping it, Mama Cosma would notice that her son isn’t having magical backup anymore, causing him to tell her it’s thanks to a girl he’s into, even invite Wanda to dinner so she can meet his mom. Mama Cosma would not be happy about it and would be incredibly passive-aggressive during their meeting, with Wanda keeping the visit short as a result and Cosmo being pretty unhappy seeing how insistent his mom is that he shouldn’t date anyone.

On that note Mama Cosma could be another reason why they took it slow at first, Wanda made it clear she wasn’t having any “mamma’s boy” bullshit. It’s a bit more complicated during the events of the og show since it’s been a long time since Cosmo saw his mom and he believes (and promises to Wanda it’s the case) that his mom’s just being a bit protective due to how long it’s been. Then one day it turns out she was being verbally abusive when babysitting Peri and Cosmo cut contact again and profusely apologized to Wanda for letting his mom talk so much shit about her.

But yeah Cosmo would probably have many fights with his mom about it, Mama Cosma claiming it’s only a matter of time before Cosmo does something to scare Wanda away with his magic and how she’s the only one who can watch over him, while Cosmo is throwing in her face the fact she sent him to military school while Wanda loves him the way he is and is trying to help him in a much more constructive way.

I could actually see those arguments as a bit of a surprise to Mama Cosma because not only does Cosmo find his mom intimidating meaning he usually doesn’t speak out against her, but in general Mama Cosma would be used to getting her way, especially with him. The fact Cosmo is much more powerful than her would also bother her because she can’t just force him to go to his room or anything else. And if he does something to leave the conversation, she can’t stop him. So yeah those arguments wouldn’t be pretty.

And eventually, when Cosmo has to make the choice, he decides to chose Wanda, eloping in secret and never having any contact with his mom, at least until the events of the og show. There would likely be times when he deeply misses her but he remembers why he left home and that’s enough to keep him away.

For Wanda, she never straight up told her father that her and Cosmo were dating, she made it sound like they were nothing more than friends and if anything she works with Cosmo to “supervise” him (in Big Daddy’s first appearance we learn Wanda writes him letters so the two are still in touch). Big Daddy still wouldn’t be too happy about it tho, especially later on during the og show when he learns that they are a couple.

His issues with it are that 1. Cosmo isn’t exactly the height of masculinity so Big Daddy can’t help but look down on him for not being manly enough (I actually like to think this is why he believed Wanda’s lie that they weren’t a couple; he couldn’t conceive the possibility of Wanda dating such a guy) and 2. He remembers Cosmo’s Terrible Two very well and is worried about him hurting Wanda with his magic. Especially since him being a mafia boss means his daughter already got a target on her back, he doesn’t want her to be in even more risk.

(Note that Wanda was already a late teen/adult when Cosmo’s terrible two happened, so she at least heard of it and saw some of the consequences, but she likely didn’t see the worst of it; like maybe Big Daddy lives pretty far from the city center of Fairy World and had his daughters stay home during Cosmo’s terrible two while he was forced to continue working, hence seeing more than his girls)

(And if it needs to be said Big Daddy’s issues with Cosmo not being masculine enough have nothing to do with transphobia. Big Daddy would be fully accepting of Wanda and possibly Blonda (if they’re identical twins) being trans women and couldn’t care less about what Cosmo has in his pants. His problem is that Cosmo isn’t muscular, cries easily, is a bit of a cowards, and likes to wear stereotypically feminine clothing sometimes, none of which is related to Cosmo being trans.)

Ultimately he’s not as openly hostile as Mama Cosma but he definitely acts like Cosmo isn’t here when seeing him. And whenever Wanda comes to visit her dad, he doesn’t mention Wanda’s love life in any way and brushes it off quickly if Wanda does, or he shifts the conversation towards his grandson instead once Peri’s born. Note that I see Wanda as visiting her father without Cosmo, mainly for Cosmo’s safety because mafia.

Oh and Cosmo never met the guy before the og show but he did know who he was from hearing about him from Wanda + possibly knowing his company’s name. Wanda would have also warned him about the mafia part hence why Cosmo is so nervous and visibly scared of the guy in the show. He might not be the brightest bulb but he understands the danger this man brings with him.

Finishing this post with a few words about Poof/Peri, when Cosmo was pregnant he would have had some worries over how powerful the kid would end up being, wishing to protect his baby from the emotional mess he went through. And while the kid is more powerful than average, Cosmo was infinitely relieved to see Peri remains much weaker than him.

That’s not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows, again I go further into it in the baby ban post but the short version is that the Fairy Council is keeping an eye on Peri on account of being Cosmo’s son, including giving him a wand that reduces his magic despite him technically not needing it.

Cosmo isn’t the biggest fan of that wand but he’d rather have this than Peri going through hell for being too powerful. Meanwhile Wanda’s getting tired of Fairy World punching down on her boys. On that note once fairies realized the baby ban wasn’t going away anytime soon and started to hate on the Fairywinkle-Cosmas, Coswan quickly decided they’d move out of Fairy World once Peri’s old enough to take care of himself, hence the 10 000 years vacation followed by them “moving” to the human world.

(Note that they would invite Peri to their vacation + send him postcards + look for him after coming back, it’s just that Peri refused to go so he could have some time for himself + turned off the wand location thing, probably also left a message at home saying he found a job and is doing fine, hence why they weren’t too worried for him)

That being said (the wand restriction thing) I could definitely see Peri at some point hurting someone at spellementary school (which would be before he got his wand change) and deciding not to use his magic anymore, leading to him and Cosmo having a heart-to-heart about their magics.

Tbh this could also be a reason why Peri seems closer to Cosmo, maybe they bonded over being deemed too powerful. That being said Cosmo wouldn’t tell his son the extent of his situation, not wanting to worry him. Especially since he’d be doing much better now and is genuinely happy so there’s no point dwelling on the bad parts of his past.

[donutloverxo]

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Kinktober day 27 - Exhibition

Can be read as voyeurism as well if you look at it from buckys pov lol! Should I make it a two in one? I'm flexing my writing muscles by writing mean Steve and soft Ransom!

Summary - You help your boss relieve some stress and Steve teaches Bucky a lesson.

Warnings - 18+ only, smut (m/f), name calling, mean Steve, sir kink, making Bucky watch, boss/employer relationship, sugar relationship, office sex, cockwarming, probably dub con.

Pairing - CEO!Steve Rogers x reader, Bucky Barnes x reader.

Word count - 2.8k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You narrowed your eyes, concentrating on your nails to get the perfect stroke of red paint on it - the color ‘berry red' Mr Rogers had picked out for you.

He pretended to be annoyed by your acrylics but you knew he had some sort of weirdly obsession or fetish about them. He loved staring at your hands, holding them so delicately in his, a stark contrast to how he had not-so-gently fucked you just minutes ago.

He absolutely loved kissing your little toes, making his way up your leg but that may just be his way of being an asshole who liked to test your patience.

The hissing sounds he’d make when you dug them in his shoulders or back was absolutely delicious. Even more so than looking at the aftermath of beautiful red marks scattered all over his back.

“Miss L/N,” you yelped, almost spilling your nail polish over your desk as you heard his voice on your intercom.

You cleared your throat before pressing the button to answer, “Yes, sir?”

“Come in here for a minute.” He rasped, his voice strain, almost as if he was holding some back.

You put your stilettos back on, carrying a note pad to write down whatever task he had for you - though you had an idea how this would go, or at least you hoped it would. Just the thought had you rubbing your thighs together.

You pushed his door open, “What can I do for you, sir?” you asked as you stood in front of him while he sat back on the leather couch, his legs wide open, his tie and coat discarded and his sleeves rolled up till his elbows. You wondered if he knew just how sexy he was. Holding up the notepad, feigning innocence and playing the part of the diligent assistant. You did sort of assist him in your own way.

“Come here and get on your knees. Help me relieve some stress.” He pushed back into the cushion as you laid the note pad on the coffee table and walked around it to him, kneeling in front of him you placed your hands on his knees.

“That’s a pretty color. Is it still wet?” he brushed his finger over your knuckle, careful not to touch your nail.

“Yes, sir.”

“Best not mess it up then.” He pressed his lips in a flat line. “I’ll have to do the work for you, like I always do. You’re such a spoiled brat you know that but it’s my own fault. I need to start being stricter with you.” He tutted as he took his cock out of his pants, pushing your head down on it.

You only grinned up at him. You couldn’t even pretend to be sorry, not when this boring slow workday just got infinitely better. You’d rather do this than take notes or attend another meeting.

You took his throbbing length in your mouth, choking as his tip hit the back of your throat, triggering your gag reflex. “Just relax your throat,” he reminded you as you swallowed around him, “remember what I taught you.”

You didn’t know the first thing about sucking cocks, especially ones that were as well-endowed as Mr Rogers'. He was uncharacteristically patient with you while he taught you and let you get used to him.

“Fuck me. That mouth of yours...” he groaned as threw his head back, holding your head down on his cock. It had taken so long to train you. But it was worth his patience when you fucked him so well with your hot mouth.

He tightened his hold on your head when you tried to pull away. He laughed as you looked up at him like a confused puppy.

“Just hold it in your mouth like that for a while till I get this work done.” He smirked as your eyes widened.

He loved testing your patience and giving you pushing your boundaries. Be it your favorite new fuzzy pink handcuffs he used to tie you to his bed, or a trip to an exotic country.

You whimpered around his length, drool dribbling down your chin onto your neck. “You can swallow if you want, sweetheart. But that’s it, if you try doing anything else you can kiss your orgasms, and that Chanel bag you’ve been whining about,” as if to prove his annoyance he rutted his hips up into your throat, making you choke on his length, “goodbye. Understood?”

You nodded and swallowed some of your dribble, you couldn’t really answer with mouth full of cock. Laying your head on his thigh, suckling around him like you would to a popsicle, he did say it was okay for you to swallow, you closed your eyes. Your mind hazy, in a state of calm you often reach when you were with him, you did vaguely hear the door open but you thought that was just your imagination.

“Holy fuck!” You snapped your eyes open as soon as you heard the foreign voice, “Sorry, Steve, um... I’ll just come back later,” You recognised the voice as Mr Rogers' best friend Bucky.

You cheeks immediately heating up upon being caught red handed. Your relationship with your boss wasn’t really a secret but it wasn’t something everyone freely talked about either. You were sure Bucky knew about it, of course he did, sir tells him everything, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

“No.” Steve said gruffly as you looked up at him with your brows furrowed, holding onto your head so you wouldn’t pull away. “Come in, Bucky. I need to discuss something important with you,” getting a firm grip on your head he pulled it back only to push you back down, “Sit over there,” he instructed, nodding towards the arm chair in front of him.

Bucky had no idea what the fuck he had walked into. He was into some freaky shit, having made love to more than one person at the same time more times than he could count. Never, in his thirty something years on this earth, did he think he'd watch his childhood best friend in such a scenario.

Nevertheless, he did as he was told. Laying aback, he was transfixed by your head bobbing up and down the loud squelching noise your mouth made on Steve’s cock, he couldn’t really see it but he had caught a glimpse of it in the locker room once. He knew it’d definitely be hard to suck. You seem to be doing a pretty good job at it from what he could tell by the little, strained grunts escaping Steve’s mouth.

He adjusted his crotch to make room for his erection and then felt a blush creep up his cheeks and neck, because he really shouldn’t get excited over something like this.

“Uh, Steve, um...” he couldn’t speak, what was he supposed to say? “What? I’m, I mean...”

“What happened, Buck? I thought you’d enjoy watching my girl while she was on her knees,” he gritted, finally pulling your head off of him.

You felt butterflies somersault in your tummy at being called his. He had never done that before. You looked up at him with your big doe eyes, proud to be officially his.

“Since you don’t mind ogling her,” he spat.

Bucky sat up straight, take aback, definitely not expecting such accusations and to be caught. He thought he was subtle about it, he did look at you and touch a bit too long for it to be considered appropriate. He flirted with you a bit more than he does with others, but that was only because you flirted back. He always assumed that it was harmless. You both weren’t doing anything wrong and Steve would never find out anyway.

With the way Steve was glaring at him with his jaw clenched tight and blonde brows furrowed together, he definitely regretted it..

...or maybe he didn’t.

Not if he was going to get a show out of it.

“Steve,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “Of course I looked at her. How could I not.” He growled, looking at your direction as you made yourself small by hugging Steve’s calf - wary of his intense gaze. “Besides she’s not yours.” he smirked as Steve’s jaw dropped.

“I just fucking told you she’s mine.” he dismissed him, looking down at you.

“Making her blow you at work and buying her tacky things doesn’t make her yours. That’s not how you treat a lady or did you forget everything your ma taught you?” he stated. “Really, doll? I think you can do better than him.”

Pulling you up by slipping his hands under your arms, he manhandled you till you stood up straight, your knees wobbly and sore. “Turn around,” Steve ordered and you followed, turning towards Bucky.

This did not go as Steve had wanted it to. His plan was to scare Bucky off, but he should’ve known his best bud would not go down without putting up a fight. His hands caressed and smoothed over your sides.

He pulled up your skirt, even though you feebly tried to fight his hands off, spreading your weeping lips with his fingers he gave Bucky a nice view of your pussy. “She’s got a pretty pussy, doesn’t she?” Steve gritted, studying his friend’s face.

“She definitely does,” he replied, arousal seeping into his voice.

“Shame you’ll never get to touch it,” he taunted, pinching your clit as you keened, holding onto his wrist, your thighs quivering. “She doesn’t wear any panties because I told her so. Bet she’s not wearing a bra either, are you, baby?” he asked, he knew the answer - he could clearly see it but he wanted to show Bucky.

“No,” you let out a shaky exhale as his fingers smeared your juices around your bundle of nerves, his finger nudging at your entrance before slipping in. You tried to hold back your moans, you really did, you were on edge with someone observing you like that but you couldn’t stay quiet. Not when he played you so expertly with his fingers.

But then he withdrew his hand, giving your ass a harsh slap, “No what?”

“No - no, sir,” you heaved.

“That’s right,” he hummed, playing with the patch of hair above your mould, “Now, remove your clothes. Hurry, I don’t have all day. I’m a busy man.” He sat back, letting you do the work for a bit.

You furiously shook your head, peering at your boss over your shoulder, pleading him with your eyes.

“Let’s give Bucky here a good look at you. What’s the point of having such a pretty slut if I can show her off from time to time. I won’t ask twice.” He stated, matter-of-factly.

And because you knew what happens when you disobey him, you followed. Wiggling your hips side to side to step out of your pencil skirt. Before undoing the buttons of your silk blouse and letting it slip over your shoulders. You were about to step out of your heels - mostly because they weren't not making this ordeal any easier.

“No, keep the heels on.” Bucky said. His tone not nearly as demanding as Steve’s but you listened anyway. A part of you wanted to please him. You shifted on one foot to other, left only in your Louboutins and the tiffany’s necklace and earrings Mr Rogers had got you when you first deep throated him.

“You weren’t kidding, Rogers,” Bucky praised, unabashedly looking over your nude body, licking his lips at the sight of your hard nipples. “Play with your breasts for me, doll.” He asked. He knew he couldn’t touch them, no matter how bad he wanted to, but making you do it was the next best thing.

Your hands travelled of their own accord, holding onto your heavy breasts and the massaging them, lifting them up before you rubbed both your nipples with your fingers, “Like this, sir?” you asked, as if you didn’t know any better.

Bucky felt himself almost burst in his pants, like a goddamn teenager when you said that. “Jesus, Steve, you really hit the lottery with this one.”

“Mm-hm,” Steve hummed, easing two thick fingers into your heat, his other hand squeezed your titts, you gasped and squirmed, trying to squeeze your legs shut while letting out little mewls. “She’s so responsive too.”

“Alright, baby,” he said, pulling his fingers out of you without giving you that sweet release, no he had much better plans, “Now, you’re gonna ride my cock like the good little whore you are. Can you do that?”

“No!” you panicked.

Because: A – he was hung like a horse. It was impossible to ride him while you were on top where you could feel all of him.

And B – you weren’t sure if you wanted to do that in front of another man, even if the idea sounded tempting, there’s no way you could perform under that kinda pressure.

Steve made a ‘tch' sound, shaking his head despondently “You’re making me look bad, princess,” he sighed.

“I - I’m just nervous,” you made the mistake of looking over to Bucky, the huge budge in his pants and his lust blown eyes and making you shiver.

“Don’t forget, slut, you wanted this.” He reminded you.

You clenched your eyes shut. You did. You had asked for a threesome with Bucky, because fuck he was almost as hot as your man, and Mr Rogers had spanked you raw as punishment. You weren’t able to sit for an entire week after that. You knew he wouldn’t say yes and were anticipating some sort of punishment so it was a win-win for you. You never thought he’d take your request seriously.

“I did,” you agreed.

Taking a deep breath, you held Bucky’s gaze, there nothing to be scared of or to be intimidated by, it was just Bucky, he seems to be the one who is taken with you. You hold the power here.

You lowered yourself till you were hovering over his hard cock, gripping the base of it and easing it into your cunt. Your movements slow and deliberate. If you did it properly there was no reason for it to hurt.

You sighed when he was fully sheathed inside you, putting most of your weight on his thighs and leaning back till his front was flush against your naked back.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, no matter how many times I fuck you,” he rambled, drawing patterns on your clit as you wailed, the sensations wrecking havoc on your, already sore pussy. “Move, sweetheart,” he tapped on your hip, his tongue peeking out to lick a tear off your cheek.

You nodded and sniffled, you didn’t even realise you had started crying. Holding onto his upper thighs for support and looking back at Bucky you pull yourself up just a little bit while Bucky palms his cock through his dark jeans.

You set a steady pace, your breath hitching every time his head brushed against your cervix. Your titts bouncing in tandem with your hips.

“Such a good girl,” Steve kept praising you, trying his best to hold back his climax, there was no way he was going before you. Pressing kisses on your back, which was covered with a sheen of sweat, “You’re so good at doing what you’re told, baby, just a little more. Are you almost there?” he cooed.

You nodded, Bucky, your sir, everything around you slipped into a abyss as your orgasm washed over you.

He rutted his hips into yours, his sac slapping against your ass as filled you up with his spend as your pussy flutter around him. It didn’t take long for Bucky to follow, releasing in his pants soiling his briefs and his jeans. His groaning pulling Steve out of his haze.

Calling out your name, he pressed a kiss to your jaw, “Your work here is done. Go back to your desk, I have an important meeting with Bucky. You can take off early, I’ll see you at home.” He told you. “And you better not clean yourself up. I want you full you of my cum so you remember who the fuck you belong to.”

“Bu – but it’ll slip out! There’s so much of it!”

“Then you clench that pussy real tight.” He ordered you as you nodded, pulling his soft cock out of you, you contracted your muscles so none of his cream would spill.

Slipped your skirt and blouse on you headed for the door before coming back and collecting your note pad, “Oopsie,” you giggled, feeling their eyes on your behind as you swayed your hips and walked back to your desk.

You typed away at your desk and waiting for the day to be over. Maybe you could convince Steve to eat his cum out of you. If you could get him to give you an almost threesome you can definitely make him do that.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤ dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[ririkutai]

Saeran AE Good Ending Choice Walkthrough

Hello everyone! I’ve decided to share the walkthrough on Tumblr as well, because I received a message about reddit being blocked in some countries! I wasn’t aware! So here! Cheers!

I've since edited the guide to include some the Sad Endings, Bad Endings, Normal Ending, as well as the good ending. Currently this guide sits at 9/10 total endings for Saeran's AE. I've included chat times, save locations, as well as choices. If anyone complies the guide and shares it elsewhere, I'd appreciate a shoutout as this took some time! Feel free to @me anywhere as Ririkutai <3

The way to get Bad Ending 1 is by taking Rika's side and not wanting to leave Saeran's side. The trigger lies somewhere between day 2-3, but I'm uncertain of the specifics.

Cheers!

Day 1:

There are two sad endings on this day!

SAVE HERE! DON'T DO ANYTHING YET!

Time: 00:00 x2

Strange Meeting

· I’ll bring Saeran with me for the meeting

· Let’s save that part until Saeyoung returns

· Saeyoung owns all the rights

· Please be safe, Saeyoung

· I have a bad feeling about this

· Do you think the leader of Mint Eye is related to this?

· Did we, Saeran?

· Saeran, my sweet

· But first, we should discuss how to save…

· Is V still gone?

· Something’s fishy

· Make sure you check V’s luggage!

· Be careful on your way!

· We should keep our eye on V

· Let’s stay alert, Jaehee

· For some reason, I’m kind of uneasy

· What are you doing right now?

· I’m nervous, too

· I hope we can take plenty of pictures in the future

· I love you, too

Story Mode:

· Where is V?

· We never fight. I trust Saeran (Saeran Heart)

· Well, I did talk a lot

· Maybe it is her…

· I know it feels weird, but you must free yourself from your past

· Saeran, don’t you think we should tell them?

· What are you thinking?

· Is there anything you know about Saeyoung’s whereabouts?

· Try holding breath just a bit longer

· V… Why are you doing this?

Please Wake Up

No choices

Story Mode:

· Wake up

· Try to wake up

· Saeran

· I held my breath, like you told me

· I’ll help you

NOTE RELOAD THE PREVIOUS SAVE AND Select all options that aren't doubtful, don't hold your breath like Saeran suggests, fall like everyone else, and be sure not to move in the hospital. This triggers Sad Ending 1

Time: 9:45

Can We Trust Him?

· I don’t think I can rest, when I…

· I’m kind of tired…

· By the way, is there something wrong with the…

· Was it a hacker!?

· Could it be the secret agency...?

· Does that mean we need to be careful…?

· Traitor (Saeran heart)

· So you handed over the information of this…

· What did you expect? You tricked us.

· Prove to us that Saeyoung…

· And you are trying to pull Saeran into danger (Saeran heart)

· Are you talking about Rika?

· No! He will never do that! (Saeran heart)

· He’s gone again | (Selecting, "Maybe he really wants to help you." Gives a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the rest of the route)

· But you can’t let yourself get into this (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting, my love (Saeran heart)

Time: 11:23

Did She Change?

· Come on out, hacker! Fight me! | (Selecting "Go away, V!" Gives you a Saeran heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· Oh, a bad guy! Time to say hi

· He knew we won’t ever trust him again

· Are you still obsessed with Saeran?

· And you’ve done horrible things to Saeran

· And you expect me to believe that?

· Sounds like you are inviting him into a trap | (Selecting "I must admit, you are persistent." Gives you a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· You really don’t give up do you?

· Fact remains that you are far from normal (Saeran heart)

· No! Stay away! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode:

· The question is whether you should make... (Saeran heart)

· So, are you going to save Saeyoung?

Time: 16:05

Rika and V’s Reunion

· Rika! You can’t stop our love!

· Are you here to tell Saeran to leave again?

· Do you have any idea how bad she hurt Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You should first explain about Rika | (Selecting "How is Saeyoung?" gives you a Saeyoung heart, uncertain how it affects the route.)

· Do you know Saeran does not have a family picture…

· But Rika's standing is very different from... (Saeran heart)

· But what about you? What about your life? (V heart)

· You do need balance for a relationship as well

· Are we witnessing the birth of a new savior...? (Saeran heart)

· It’s the prime minister isn’t it? | (Selecting "Could it be the agency?" gives you a V heart.)

· We will save everyone!

· There’s no doubt V, Rika, and the prime…

· Yay! Let’s talks! Just the two of us!

Time: 17:57

Rika’s Selfish Happiness

· What are you plotting with…

· I will go with whatever Saeran chooses (Saeran heart)

· He might leave by the time the rest of RFA…

· But we are always together (Saeran heart)

· Are you sure you have reunited with V?

· So nobody ever saved V (V heart)

· Maybe you wanted people to recognize you and tell you...

· That's good, but... V looked desolate

· What do you really want to become?

· Cough, cough calories

Time: 19:11

Secure Chat Just for Us

· Hey, we’re back

· Good job. Now lets use this room…

· What? Doesn’t that mean our enemies are huge?

· Of course you are… We have four bad guys…

· That's right! Let's go save Saeyoung! (Saeran heart)

· Then let’s get going! (Saeran heart)

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· What if your trauma returns? (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart though!)

· I remember both of them (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart still!)

· I love you, Saeran

· This might turn out to be reckless (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart. This boi is full of love)

NOTE RELOAD YOUR PREVIOUS SAVE AFTER SECURE CHAT JUST FOR US And select "Then let's leave. Let's leave everything, instead of saving Saeyoung.", "Yes.", "I'll be fine. I want to be happy with you. That's all I'm asking for." To receive Sad Ending 2

Time: 20:44

Different Perspective on the Past

· Rika… You’re back

· I’m not sure if this is the best time…

· Do you remember what it was like back then?

· Were you happy even without Saeyoung?

· I guess you did miss her. You didn’t separate willingly… (Saeran heart)

· Family is not something you can replace like objects...

· Now I’ll be your family (Saeran heart)

· You’ll be a great parent (Saeran heart)

· Alike? How?

· You are still obsessed with him?

· Saeran is not like you (Saeran heart)

· It feels like you’re inviting us into a trap

· She might make you her prisoner…

· Can’t we stay a bit longer?

· Okay

Story Mode

· Don’t you think we should head straight to this…

· V provided his apartment to them?

· V would’ve thought everything by himself…

· It’s the agency!

Time: 21:56

Unbelievable Peaceful Chit-Chat

· V? What brings you back here?

· How come you own that place?

· Did you get scammed by any chance?

· I’d thought you plotted it

· I think it’s fake news

· But the prime minister and the agency are attacking..

· Jumin will be beyond shocked (Jumin heart)

· That’s where the root of all evil…

· You brought someone else to that apartment?

· I’m so glad Jumin did not turn out like…

· A dark magician!

· Do you think this news will be highly detrimental…?

· It’s not a good thing to play deaf to what you…

· Can’t you give me one last clue…

· If only Jumin…

· One day you will pay

Story Mode

· What is this place?

Time: 23:05

The Most Important Thing

· Saeran? You’re gone

· I’m fine. When I’m with you, my joy… (Saeran heart)

· Why not break through the windows?

· What do you think will happen to us… (Saeran heart)

· I hope by tomorrow at least one…

· Regardless of the truth…

· Do you think the other members of RFA…

· They’d be shocked mostly by the fact…

· But I chose to come with you (Saeran heart)

· Yes. Because we will never stop loving… (Saeran heart)

· You are also important to me, Saeran (Saeran)

· Please be safe, my darling (Saeran)

Story Mode

No Choices

Day 2:

There are two Sad Endings on this day

Time: 00:23

Unexpected Guest

· Saeyoung?!

· How did you get in here?

· Saeran! We have an intruder!

· Let’s find out what we can from him!

· Are you here to hack this room…

· Do you know Saeyoung?

· Charlie the 3rd?

· Is Saeyoung safe?

· Is Saeyoung in mortal danger?

· Are you going to tell the agency…

· Tell us something! Anything is fine!

· I think you were

· No! Please, help us! (Saeran heart)

· My heart breaks whenever I think (Saeran Heart)

· And you will make that promise (Saeran heart)

· Are you telling him to instead save himself?

· But we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives…

· Are you going to report everything from this…

· But let’s not give up (Saeran heart)

· No, I’m gonna wait for you! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No Choices

SAVE AFTER THIS STORY MODE

Time: 2:22

How to Use Vanderwood

· Is that why you wanted us to log in…

· I don’t think that guy is very thorough…

· Vanderwood betrayed the agency! Like this? (Saeran heart)

· What if he’s stupid? What if he…

· I know you said that because you care… (Saeran heart)

· That’s right. He might help us once he… (Saeran heart)

· And it was all because Rika brainwashed…

· I’m sure Saeyoung was also manipulated by false information (Saeyoung heart)

· It must have been awful after you… (Saeran heart)

· Back then you were not ready to…

· I’m also getting this strong feeling.. (Saeran heart)

· I also had a feeling they…

· Please help us once, Vanderwood! I know… (Saeran heart)

· And a good expectation will manifest… (Saeran heart)

· Please!!! (Saeran heart)

· Nah, you’re the only one who thinks…

· Yeah, and now let’s get busy with our…

Time: 8:00

Zen is Awake!

· Zen!! Are you awake??

· I’m just grateful you are awake

· Maybe Saeran and I shouldn’t have left (Saeran heart)

· Could you please report it to the media?

· That’s right! Bring it on… (Zen heart)

· Not yet… It might be a trap

· It turned out the agency is…

· Don’t be disappointed with yourself

· Thanks for trying to look

· Okay. Now we are going to save…

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Yeah. Are you?

· Yes. I am not letting you go by yourself

· Are you the boss…

· We were told you will be in mortal danger…

· What kind of deal did you…

· You mean you’ll send them to…

· You want them to live caged lives…

· Saeyoung… You’re sacrificing yourself… (Saeyoung heart)

· But we cannot leave you here, Saeyoung

· We don’t have a choice. There’s nothing we can do…

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ZEN IS AWAKE And select: "This seems familiar...", "You can go ahead...", and "Okay." To receive Sad Ending 3.

Time: 9:45

Vanderwood’s Suggestion

· Vanderwood?

· Are you here to help us?

· How do we know this isn’t a trap?

· Your agency is a nightmare

· But won’t you get in trouble…

Story Mode

· What do we do now?

· But he just won’t care for himself

· Do you think we can trust Vanderwood?

· Let’s do that. For some reason I have…

· Let's put our faith in him. We're not leaving...

Time: 11:37

Saeyoung is with Rika

· Why are you here?

· Is it because you were scared…

· He wanted to save his brother

· You kidnapped Saeyoung!?

· Poor Saeyoung… He was manipulated (Saeyoung heart)

· I will never forgive the agency

· But the prime minister might…

· What drug?

Story Mode

· Saeyoung told the agency about the top secret…

· Are you sure we can trust you?

· Is it to put him to sleep?

· I have to be away from Saeran? I…

· Why would you do that? That’s exactly what happens in…

· I’m scared…

· Why don’t’ we go back to the hospital and… (Saeran heart)

· Why don’t we go back to C&R and…

· …No. We’re in this together (Saeran heart)

· I'm going to keep you safe, Saeran

Time: 13:15

Jumin Han is Here

· Rika has Saeyoung.

· Sorry. I can’t tell you (Jumin heart)

· Wow! I knew you’d be fit! (Zen heart)

· I bet you felt betrayed

· On a scale of 0 to 10

· Is your father really related to

· You mean you might lose..

· He didn’t betray us. He’s become his father’s… (Saeyoung heart)

· Did you hear anything from Saeran?

· What’s your secret?

· But you must have an emergency plan..

· I understand… You have lost…

· But if you put yourself in his shoes

· Let me know once you hear something

NOTE RELOAD AFTER THE STORY MODE FOLLOWING UNEXPECTED GUEST, AND SELECT ALL OPTIONS THAT INSULT/DOUBT VANDERWOOD. Do not agree to let Vanderwood help you. Do this to receive Sad Ending 4

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran right now?

· What do you mean, you lost the other…

· Why did you bring me here?

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

Time: 15:33

Vanderwood in Trouble

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

· Whose side are you on?

· Couldn’t you let both of us go?

· What do you mean?

· What happens if you get…

· Admit it – You’re a nice person

· But it’s adorable… I really want to see (Saeyoung heart)

· You’re returning the phone?

· Run and survive!

Story Mode

· I hope Vanderwood will be alright

· Saeran will never give up

· You are simply trying to make your dream… (Saeran heart)

· RFA might expose everything about

Time: 18:00

Rika’s Request

· Jumin, cheer up…

· They’re not coming

· Don’t you feel guilty?

· Yeah, unlike you. (Saeran heart)

· You were a great actress (Saeran heart)

· But do you really need those twins..

· But you cannot decide how they will (Saeran heart)

· I believe Saran will save… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran, if you read this… Don’t ever give up (Saeran heart)

· Just who led Saeyoung to the agency….

· Do you feel anything about RFA…

· Jumin will feel so betrayed (Jumin heart)

· Just because you say sorry… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… I’m okay. (Saeran heart)

· V… Does that mean I cannot…

· Thank you, V (V heart)

· V… Are you really okay with everything..

Time 19:00

RFA in the Corner

· I’m waiting for Saeran

· You took in that gas again?!

· Maybe it’s a bluff

· Well, it’s not a perfect time for him to chat..

· I feel so bad for the twins…

· The agency is no easy opponent

· And we have no way to prove that we’re the good guys :’(

· That was a very brave…

· No talking on the messenger!

· How is Elizabeth 3rd? (Jumin heart)

· Maybe we should do that…

· We should stay away from…

· Calm down, Zen

· As soon as you do that he’ll be knocked…

· It’s okay. Don’t worry

· Vanderwood?

Story Mode

· Do you think Saeran will be here?

· Look behind

· Okay, okay…

· But you won’t be happy if someone tries to control

· Saeyoung? Are you awake?

· But he needs you

· Tell me.

· But how? You don’t have the right…

· I’m scared. That phone is the only tool you have…

· V, please… You have to help us

· V, you know this isn’t the answer

Time: 21:02

Why We Need Saeran

· You are so cold-blooded!

· Until when will the agency…

· Do you think he’s watching the messenger?

· Are you going to tell him to be silent and come find you?

· He will never give up… Not while he’s alive

· The problem lies with the life in a box (Saeran heart)

· But I don’t want to leave Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· This is too cruel… Finding this place…

· What are you gonna do now?

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 23:13

Did RFA Give Up?

· Did you hear anything from Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You’ve made an excellent choice (Saeran heart)

· I feel bad for you, Zen (Zen heart)

· Is there really nothing else we can do?

· Please stay healthy, Zen (Zen heart)

· But we need Saeran here first

· :’(

Story Mode

No choices

Day 3:

Time: 1:02

Rika Wants Saeran

· The RFA won’t be using…

· They suffered a lot regarding…

· The agency is the biggest problem,

· You might think it’s protection, but..

· I wonder where Saeran is.. (Saeran heart)

· Maybe later

· No thanks lol

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 6:04

A Ticket Unused

· Saeran!!

· Are you safe?

· Are you really coming here?

· I love you too! (Saeran heart)

· You should be happy with me

· Why would you say that? I’m scared (Saeran heart)

· You’re gonna be here?

· But right now, we have to focus on surviving (Saeran heart)

· Okay… I’ll remember that

· Great! But...

· Okay… I’ll stay awake and wait

Story Mode

· I’ve missed you

· [Munch munch]

· If you keep making fun of me, you’ll pay for it

· No, we deserve to be happy

Time: 8:51

Saeran is Here

· Saeran! But this channel…

· Rika… Please let Saeran in…

· What took you so long?

· I think they’re putting him…

· We should be true to ourselves… (Saeran heart)

· But now RFA has nothing…

· I bet Rika doesn’t want to…

· She’s the seed of all pain!

· Are you avoiding the subject?

· One we reunite, I never want to…

· What freedom?

· You don’t want to repeat your past

· But Rika wouldn’t like that (Saeran heart)

· You hate Rika and V, don’t you? (Saeran heart)

· Okay, if that is what you choose… (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting

Story Mode

· You should trust Saeran

· I’ve missed you

· Can’t you let me stay…

Time: 11:11

Rika’s Return

· Rika, where are you?

· You didn’t torture him, did you?

· Maybe he’s going to hurt them!

· Saeran will cause no harm (Saeran heart)

· I’m going to run with Saeran

· Ugh! I hate what’s happening!

Story Mode

· Do you have to do this?

· Saeran… wake up

· It must have been shocking and sad (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… one day you’ll be free and we’ll be… (Saeran heart)

· Only me and Saeyoung? (Saeran heart)

· What do you mean you’ll

· Why?

· RFA didn’t give up on you

· So did you make it?

· It’s too dangerous (Saeran heart)

· No, let me distract them!

· If Saeyoung brings down the agency..

· ….

· This so sad

Time: 12:48

Weight of the Past

· I’m so sad…

· And you left Saeran like this..?

· Hi, Saeran...

· Can I have your voice instead?

· Did you have to go this far?

· Saeran decide to leave past in the past (Saeran heart)

· It’s a good thing you left Magenta..

· Saeran changed himself. (Saeran heart)

· Trying to repeat a happy past can sometimes serve as greed

· She's not mad is she?

· You should reconsider (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 14:07

It Will Hurt, But We Will Be Happy

· Saeran! This is our love channel!

· Do we have to do this? (Saeran heart)

· I have a feeling we will fail (Saeran heart)

· Do you think they’ll get…

· But I don’t think I can live without you (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t leave me

· …

Story Mode

· Sniffle

· She might turn violent

· You can’t decide what Saeran will be like

· You are right… But please don’t die

Time: 16:25

I’ll Have None of This

· It’s a sad night

· Saeran’s will reached my heart (Saeran heart)

· To be honest, you’re…

Story Mode

· Feel what?

· But I want to spend as much time as I can

· I’ll be right back

Time: 17:55

I Promise You Will Be Happy

· Did you guys have an argument?

· I want you, Saeran (Saeran heart)

· Get one for Saeyoung (Seven heart)

· Do you have 2 tickers that will get us out?

· About what?

· No! Saeran is mine! (Saeran heart)

· Do you think you can make it someday?

· I’ll be having fun with Saeran

· What should we do now?

· Are we the only ones that know about this room?

· You mean including Jumin and Zen?

· I’m sad, too… Is there really no other way? (Saeran heart)

· Clouds? Why clouds?

· So your freedom was...

· Can’t you let me stay here? (Saeran heart)

· This is so sad. I don’t want to leave

· I was so happy I could meet them (Saeran heart)

· If you love me, why are you making me sad? (Saeran heart)

· Let’s think about a way to keep you safe?

· Yeah!

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 19:09

Rika is Changing

· I’m glad you released Saeran

· I think you mean tonight (Saeran heart)

· I want to live with just Saeran

· Do you think you can take another betrayal?

· I’m glad things loosened up

· Saeran is my love (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t stab Saeran… (V heart)

· Whatever happens, I hope you’d be happy, Rika

· I think I need someone to cleanse my head…

· Unlike his father

· If that’s what you want, you must one day…

· I’m glad I got to meet all of you

· Rika hurt your eyes…

· How long do you think this happiness will last? (Saeran heart)

· Do you think her hope is real?

· Is it related to Saeran?

· It’s okay. Saeran is strong (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

· Can’t I come with you?

Time: 21:39

The Weight of Truth

· V talked about this secret

· I don’t want to leave him

· Is Saeran okay

· What did you guys talk about?

· The death of their mother?

· Can’t you just stop

· You are pretending to be nice

· You can’t do this to him

· We must find Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· At least you didn’t wait any longer…

· You would still feel painful

· But that does not justify murder

· He didn’t talk to me

· You have until 11

· I’m so disappointed in both of you

· Saeran, are you okay?

Story Mode

· I don’t want to go

· Please don’t do this

· Please tell me you will survive

Time: 23:00

Rescue Plan

· Are we getting started?

· Is it okay to leave Saeran?

· Saeran

· I can't believe I must leave him... (Saeran heart)

· We’ll be back for Saeran, right?

· Saeyoung and Saeran didn’t even get to talk

· The prime minister won’t get to..

· What press conference?

· Thank you everyone

Story Mode

No choices

Day 4:

There are 3 bad endings, and one bad relationship ending on this day. The Normal end and Good end are also on this day.

Time: 2:16

Escape – Success!

· Saeran, I’m okay! (Saeran heart)

· I miss you Saeran

· I’ll be waiting

· I think I’m going to wait for Saeran

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

If you see "Story Mode: Savior" here then you haven't received enough hearts with Saeran and will trigger his Bad Relationship Ending (I feel this is the ending that brought most of us here, lolol... Help my heart.)

Story Mode

· I’ll go by myself if I have to!

· I’m coming with you!

· I will find Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ESCAPE - SUCCESS! And select: "Looks like there's nothing we can do...", "I think I'll stay here..." To receive Bad Ending 2

Time: 5:55

Vanderwood and Zen’s Argument

· Vanderwood, does this mean...

· You guys have such cute…

· You mean Yoosung?

· Looks like you have a lot of history..

· Come on, let’s be friendly

· Do you think Rika and V are not aware of this?

· I really hope Saeran is safe

· That’s what I heard

· I’m fine with anything as long as..

· I really hope that’d be the case

· Is there really no master key to get us

· I hope Saeran is okay…

· You kicked him out…

· I hope he can find a miracle for us

· Okay…

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 8:24

Saeyoung is Back

· Any news about Saeran?

· Are you gonna sign...

· It was so beautiful (Seven heart)

· I hope Saeran is safe

· Could you tell him I love him? (Two Saeran hearts)

· I’ll do that

· Good luck!

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· The security’s changed…

· V, where is Saeran?

· Follow V

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER SAEYOUNG IS BACK And select "Don't follow V" To receive Bad Ending 3

Time: 10:00

The Last Discussion

· Yoosung, are you okay?

· If you get to see her again…

· Like me and Saeran?

· Welcome Jumin

· We can beat them

· Do you think sweet and sour

· Please, go ahead

· But some people become stars without

· Yeah, but it won’t be easy

· So, Ray…

· Life

· From imprisonment to…

· That we are all responsible

· It’s so good to…

· Thank you for your sermon

· Let’s not lose ourselves

· Whatever it’s about good luck!

· We won’t be lonely if we’re together

· Hopefully I’ll get to…

· He is… He’ll be okay

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran?

· Embrace Rika

· But now you will change

· Go save Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER THE LAST DISCUSSION And select "(Don't go save Saeran)" To receive the Normal Ending.

The Final Episode

· Saeran!

· Please stay alive

· He’s gotta be somewhere around here! I can feel it!

· He’s around here. I know

· I must go

· Leave the rest and run

· Saeran, please don’t go

· I love you

· Now you should be happy with me

· Wake up!

· Pity

· Saeran and Saeyoung simply wanted

· Your lonely heart…

· Saeran will forgive you…but

· You will pay

· I’m sure you had something…

· But can’t you see?

· Does survival matter that much?

· You must be so lonely

· We must get him to a hospital!

· Saeran, hang in there!

· Saeyoung, please

· Hopefully Saeran…

· But Saeran forgave him

· Okay. I’ll let you know once he wakes..

· Saeran?

· What is it?

· Are you saying…

· Saejoong Choi!

· Why did you find…

· Did you have a change of...

You’ve made it! Select whatever you like!

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

How do the axis and the allies know that their s / o is the one?

Ah yes- everyone's favorite question! I always liked the idea of a Character being all serious face, and then either looking shocked, or completely melt over their new found feelings!

Trigger Warnings: Slight mention of minor violent behavior, and mention of invasive thoughts

Allies and Axis find the one! (Their S/O)

Allies:

America:

Is was on one of their field trips.

His S/O became obsessed with a certain place in America, and he vowed to help cross it off their bucket list.

Even though it was the umpteenth time seeing them smile, it felt different.

His face blushed and all he could see was his S/O in the lightening.

Their movements, no matter how fluid or clumsy, seemed to radiate their excitement.

There was just something about it that made America momentarily forget what he was doing.

Something in him wanted to capture this moment and he pulled them in for a selfie.

Even after the moment passed, whenever he looked at that picture, it gave him that slight buzz he felt from when the picture was taken.

Driving to the designated location with every love song that played forced the scenerio in his mind.

Then all at once, as his face turned red, he realized how badly he wanted to have them by his side for the rest of their life.

England

It was another fancy party his boss made him go to. His S/O decided to stay at his place for whatever reason, and assured him they'd be fine without him for a few hours.

But he wasn't.

Every woman who passed by in a flowing dress, or every man who just looked particularly good made him think of his S/O, dressed to the nines in their own style, more than certainly becoming the center of attention.

But then that fantasy fades the longer it lasted. He started thinking about how everyone's eyes would hunger for his S/O and it made him feel off.

He didn't recover until he got home, his S/O greeting them at the door in messy pajamas, some food stuck to their cheek.

Right there did England's heart flip and his face grew flush.

He felt a nervous, but serine, sensation take him over.

Seeing his Love in their own element, not caring for any fancy clothing, or heavy make up to show him upon returning made him realize just how much he desired them. No matter the form, or outfit he just loved them, and all they were, and will be.

France:

France considered himself to be easy to fall for, so for a small while his S/O was just another woman who desired him.

Though he thought the world of his S/O (and those before them) he just always assumed they wouldn't last, no matter how much money, or fancy parties and outfits they were given. They'd just leave.

But time and time again his S/O had him stunned by how little they wanted from him, material wise.

He didn't mean to fall so hard, and so quickly, but he did. Seeing their independence, but also seeing their want for him confused him.

He knew what he was feeling due to all the one sided love he's had for a few others. And it scared him.

He'd know the whole time his true feelings, but wanted to be sure his S/O felt the same. Even if it meant waiting till their last breath.

What really put the nail in the coffin was when they asked him how he felt about their relationship. He was prepared for a break up until his Darling started to giggle.

He knew they'd be his forever when they said something about being lost without him. Their serious look striking through his heart. He had to fight with them that night, beg even, to let him spoil them in anything they wanted.

China:

He can be a prideful kind of guy, even he knows it. It's just, he's been around for so long, and knows the outcome of most scenerios due to all of his years of experiencing life, he's just... Stopped caring about how he comes off to others.

This had led to many people coming in, and quickly going out of his life. No matter the optimism they showed for being with him, it quickly vanished.

But not for his S/O.

It was one day in particular he was being a bit... Rude to his S/O. The argument was over something incredibly small, but as usual china felt otherwise.

He was taken a back when his S/O accused him of purposely trying to push them away, despite the hardwork they put in the relationship.

He immediately froze on the spot and couldn't mutter another word other than a brief apology. Claiming to needed air to calm down.

Once he calmed down he realized they were right. They have been bending over backwards and it made him feel guilty. But then his heart started to beat. The fact they tried so hard, and for him, made him feel something new.

He didn't want them to be anything than what he fell in love with, and by going above and beyond for him did they seem to almost become a stranger to him.

He then got despirate and ran to his S/O, admitting his new feelings on the spot. He didn't want to lose the person he loves so dearly, just because he didn't know how to swallow his pride sometimes.

Russia:

His S/O knew it was going to be a rough ride being with Russia. Between the physical affection, both public and private, and the odd mood swings he has had, it was obvious it was going to take him longer to feel about them, as they did him. But that was fine.

Russia on the other hand did know what he wanted, and what he liked. Ivan's issue was sifting through those emotions and trying to figure out which ones were okay, and which ones would scare off his S/O.

He decided to land on 'learning by example'. If his S/O wanted a hug, he can give hugs. They cried? He tried to sympathize and thought of things that hurt him, and also cried. Though he had a habit of accidentally taking the attention off of his S/O when that happens.

Only later on realizing it and feeling dumb or guilty, but not wanting to bring it up since his S/O recovered.

Oh but the biggest thing that made him want to hang onto them was the one or two accidents where he got a little... Agressive and panicked, accidentally hurt his S/O in the process.

The first time it happened was when a misunderstanding escalated Because he just, couldn't communicate his thoughts and his S/O pushed to far, only wanting to help. He bruised them by the throat when he grabbed them to try and keep them away for their own safety. Not meaning to grab their neck, he just grabbed for them in general, really aiming for their shirt. But they never left him after that.

The second incident they caught him clawing at some scars, weeping painfully. No one else has seen him like that and he panicked. He trapped them in a corner, and threatened them to never say a single thing, but his S/O reached out for him to try and console him, but it ended in more bruising when he pushed them away, thinking they were Reaching out to leave him. But they never left...

They never left. They had told him countless times that it was just an accident. But how many accidents could his Sunflower take? He only started forgiving himself when they mentioned how each time he panicked like that, he became better at expressing himself, via a bit agressively with his words. But now.

He never realized he wasn't as upset whenever his S/O and him run into a misunderstanding. It was then he realized they didn't plan on leaving, and it was then he realized he wanted the same thing they did, and decided to strive to get better. Even if it meant asking for help...

Axis:

Germany:

He's always so stressed out and annoyed by all the work his Boss dumps on him. He is so overwhelmed he forgot a few documents in his home office.

Before he could ever really get concern his phone buzzed.

His S/O had called him to ask about the exact papers he needed for that day's meeting. He blushed as his S/O mentioned how quickly he left the house, and was concerned he'd forgotten something other than locking his office like he usually does.

He couldn't even get upset that his S/O snooped in his office when he left. He was too flattered that his S/O's immediate thought was whether or not he had everything.

Over the phone he was able to get the information he needed, and after swearing to secrecy, he let his S/O hang up.

During the meeting he was particularly distracted by those hand written notes. If it wasn't for how caring his S/O was he'd have been in deep trouble.

Then it got him. He felt warm, and fuzzy as he came across the thought "They must love me that much-" and it struck him a certain way.

He knew they were dating, and were close but up until now the word love only had so much weight to it. Now it was both words and actions, and he wants to make sure his S/O feels just like he did. He wants them to know exactly how much he's fallen for them, and perhaps how he will never stop falling for them.

Japan:

Japan is another one who takes a while to get close too.

He doesn't mean to be so anti-affectionate it's just, he's so anxious about the world around him sometimes.

Being a country isn't all it's cracked up to be but his S/O already knew that.

That was one of the things he loved about him... Oh.

He knew he had feelings, but as time went by he didn't realize how much they grew. He never really said 'I Love You'. Despite his S/O saying it often enough, he'd usually give a soft smile and nod.

Then he face palmed at how much of a jerk he's been. Immediately he had the urge to go talk about it and apologize, but the closer he got to his S/O the more the word 'love' bounced around in his head.

He loved them. He loved them? Yeah. This is a new and Terrifying thing he's experiencing.

With sweaty palms and a clear throat the only thing he could ask was "Do you love me?" Causing his S/O to blush and giggle.

He slowly grew mortified at the situation. His S/O told him that, of course they loved him! But what they said next surprised him, and made him internally melt.

"But you don't have to say it if you can't. I just wanted you to know that no matter how long it takes, I'm still here for you..."

His chest swelled and despite not being able to show his full affection, it was certainly pushing at the seams, ready to burst.

Italy:

He wasn't shy with women, or men, and loved giving others attention as much as receiving it. But some days he's just, Too exhausted and just wants to be alone for a bit.

Though seeing his S/O is always a welcoming sight. The way he treated his S/O versus how he flirts with others made it increasingly obvious that he only flirted out of habit.

Though while alone he slowly felt guilty about it. Then he started wondering why his S/O was still around. Then other thoughts about him and his flaws started getting to him.

He lazily walked to his S/O, quiet and shy about his question. And when he asked why they stayed he was surprised by their confused.

"Because I love you?"

Oh yeah. Then he smiled and went for a hug but something about the way they held him made him feel different?

It wasn't a normal hug. They didn't pull away and they both stood there. Italy's excitement faded again once he realized they were comforting him.

It almost made him cry, but his heart was beating too fast, and in that moment it felt like his S/O knew everything about him. He felt loved but not understood before this.

And it made him want to never let them go.

Tada~ I know some of them are kind of sad, but relationships aren't always fluffy clouds and marshmellos. Sometimes the greatest realizations come from learning curves and heat of the moment scenerios. With that said, it's not just about following your heart. Sometimes it's just recognizing the thing you truly desire is already right there. As long as it's for the better, and as long as your willing to give equal work towards your futures!

[nicb0723]

Find Your Worth

On Ao3 Find Your Worth

John Wick x Reader

Summary: You meet John in an unconventional way.

Notes: Depression trigger warning and mention/thoughts of suicide 

Word Count: 9,279

Chapter 1

This is a pretty lake.  

You probably should take the time to come here more. There are sailboats in the distance and kids swinging at the playground on the other side of the blue water.

It’s pretty here.

It was pretty here. It was a pretty lake. You correct your own thinking, your own thoughts absentmindedly. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. You probably should have taken the time to come here more.

The picnic table you picked is far away from everyone else, like a private little island, except you can hear echoes of laughter and screams of fun as families splash in the water. The wood is hard under your ass and your feet tap on the bench as you wait, trying to be patient. The sun is hot on your back even as it slowly starts its descent in the late afternoon. The sun will be out for a few more hours. It’s two days before the Fourth of July and it’s been really hot, the days are long and nights short.

This would be a pretty place to watch the fireworks.

You breathe in deep, knowing that you probably won’t see any fireworks this year and that’s okay. You’ve made peace with it.

The sound of tires on gravel startle you out of your thoughts and chills run down your spine. This is it. Your skin tightens with anxiety but you’ve come this far. You’ve made your choice.

Steady, confident footsteps follow the car door opening and closing. The rocks under their shoes crunch loudly and the pace is slower as they approach your back. You don’t really want to turn and see whoever it is, but this is the last hard part. Everything else will be easy after this. It’ll be done.

They don’t say anything so you push your sunglasses up over your hair and rub down your face, fingers pressing hard over your temples. You’ve got a headache again. The dull pain gives you enough of a reason to turn your head and nod a hello towards the stranger.

The sun is behind the tall man, making you squint and you have no idea what to say. Maybe he’ll say something first but you wait a few beats and you know that won’t happen. He’s just standing there, looking at you. From your quick glance, you see that he has dark hair slicked back and his body is slim. He’s wearing far too many clothes for this heat, dress slacks and a turtleneck. Maybe he works in the city? Maybe this is his second job?

“Are you him?” Your voice doesn’t sound shaky like you thought it would. You’re slightly proud of yourself for that.

His voice, even though he spoke just one word, makes you shiver. “Yeah.”

“Okay great, um, hello.” You say awkwardly as you shift your body around to fully face him. He steps towards you slowly, coming more into view and his brown eyes are narrowed at yours. His strides are long and his arms carry a lot of strength, his hands and fingers twitch like they’re ready to pounce at any sudden movement. Maybe he’s military? No, but maybe he’s retired because he has long hair and a beard that probably wouldn’t be allowed. It really looks good on him though.

Whoever this man is, it’s not what you were expecting.

At all.

“Thanks for coming.” And now your voice does shake a little because this is a scary thing you’re about to do and suddenly your throat is dry. Did you really decide to do this?

He doesn’t say anything and continues his intense gaze. His eyes finally flicker down your body, it’s nothing but a quick assessment. He nods for you to continue and you sigh deeply. It’s now or never.

“Yeah okay, so I’m assuming you know why I called you?” You didn’t really call, you left a message with a homeless man in the city, who somehow had text you this location, time and day to meet.

He comes even closer and the sunlight shines over his face briefly until he’s in the shade. You wonder how old he is because his skin is smooth, except for the fading scab of blood on his forehead. “I understand you need a hitman.”

Oh, god. He seriously just said it outloud. Like it was nothing.

You clear your throat and sweat breaks over your skin. “Yeah. Yes, that’s right.”

He almost looks disappointed or concerned, you can’t really tell.

“For who?” He asks easily.

“Well, um. Can you tell me how much it’ll be first? I’m kinda curious.” You half heartedly chuckle at your own stupidity. What an amatuear.

“No.” He keeps his stare sharply trained on you, but something tells you that he really doesn’t want to be here, like you’re wasting his time with this. Like this is below him. “Tell me who.”

Moment of truth right here. You close your eyes, take a deep breath of air and face towards the water again. As you open your eyes you barely whisper, “Me.”

Silence. You figured as much. It’s probably not often a hitman gets hired to take out the person who hired him.

“Excuse me?” He asks incredulously.

You look at him again, this tall, dark, handsome stranger who might be the last person you’ll ever see again. “I said... me.”

“You?”

“Yes, me.”

His eyes drop in confusion and he shakes his head, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. When he looks back at you they’re no longer calculating. You hadn't realized he was reading you until now, now that he looks at you with confusion and worry. “Why would you want that?” He finally asks and it startles a bitter laugh out of you.

“Why? I don’t think you want to know. You’d be here all night. Will you do it?”

For a second you think he’s going to say no and your mind races with what you’ll do. How the hell will you find another hitman?

“Tell me why.”

You think about avoiding the question again but he kind of scares you. So what if he knows? It couldn’t possibly hurt anything for him to hear about your depressing life, a life you so desperately want out of. “Why? Okay… well, let’s see...” You want to know his name at least and you raise your eyebrow in question.

He realizes what you want and he says his name, like he’s surprised you somehow don’t already know it. “John.” He says slowly, and it seems like he rarely has to introduce himself.

“Okay, John.” That’s probably not even his real name but it’ll do and you don’t really care. You rub your fingers across your temple again. The ache is starting to spread and you just want this conversation over with as soon as possible. “My grandmother just died. She was the only family I had left.” You pause and look over at John, but he’s just waiting. “She was in the hospital for almost a year. And in hospice for almost two years before that.”

Grandma was a fighter, that was for sure and you savored every single minute you could have with her. But...

“Do you have any idea how expensive hospital bills are? Funeral bills?” You don’t bother to wait for an answer, but you do see John look down, like he did know something about it. “I’ll have to pay for years, which would be fine but see I have a real shitty job. Doesn’t pay a lot at the local gas station.” You don’t add that it was the only job you could find that worked nights and let you be with grandma during visiting hours.

“And not only is working at the gas station bad enough, I have an even shitter boss. He likes to harass me, John. You know anything about getting your ass grabbed on a daily basis?”

No. You thought not. John is looking at you intently now.

“I’d quit but I have no real skills. I barely graduated high school. I love her, but taking care of grandma was a full time job and we didn’t have money for help. I thought I could afford the hospice but…”

You just couldn’t. You were in way over your head. No one taught an 18 year old how to take care of a dying guardian. No one taught you about credit cards and loans and interest and bankers taking advantage of you for years after you graduated. And now, over a decade later you’re still paying for every mistake.

Sighing, you shift towards John and let your legs dangle off the table. “Anyway, my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, gets out of jail in a month.”

He looks at you expectedly.

“Oh I put him in there too. Domestic abuse and stuff, you know, the usual.” You cross your arms over your chest in a weak attempt to protect yourself. “So, if you don’t do this I’m sure he’ll find me and I’ll be tied up in a basement somewhere.” You bat your eyelashes, trying for some guilt. “You wouldn’t want that would you, John?”

He doesn’t speak after hearing you spill problems that a normal person could probably handle, but you’re tired. Oh yes. You forgot to mention that. “And I live across the tracks there.” You point out west, towards the bad part of town. “My apartment sucks and I haven’t slept in two years. Like, real sleep, ya know?”

Obviously he doesn't because John still doesn’t say anything. “The sink drips at night and keeps me awake. Drip. Drip. Drip.” You can hear the sound of the water splashing in your bathroom sink as you talk about it. The annoying sound that you’re now obsessed with because it repeats in your head over and over and over again for hours. All. Night. Long. Driving you insane.

“I can’t afford a repair man and the apartment manager could care less. So I don’t sleep. Well, sometimes I did while I was at the hospital with grandma, in a chair. Oh, and there's the dog across the alleyway from my living room that barks during the day too, so that’s nice.”

John is watching you squeeze at the back of your neck now, trying to ease some of the tension pulsing there. You don’t mention the chronic pain that your body is in and how your stomach hurts because of all the pain killers you take. You don’t mention that your car is crap and will probably die soon. You don’t tell him about your parents. You skip the part about being severely depressed. You don’t tell him about a lot.

“So, will you do it?” You ask again.

John pauses and opens his mouth but nothing comes out. You think for sure he’ll say no, but then you remember that this is his actual job and he needs money, right? He can’t really say no. You could go to the police and turn him in. You could threaten him… well, you could try to. You look him up and down again. Maybe.

“Um.” He starts off slowly. “I guess… why don’t you know, just do it yourself?”

Oh. You didn’t really think he’d care about that and you weren’t expecting to provide an explanation. “Are you a religious man, John?”

He shrugs and looks at the silver cross you wear around your neck. “Then you would know I can’t do it myself. I want to see my grandma in Heaven.”

John nods at that and shuffles his feet a little. It’s the first real movement he’s made since he got here.

“I thought about suicide by police, but I don’t want anyone else to get hurt…” You think for a few seconds before you lose a thought, wanting to say it before you forget. “Can I ask you something? I mean, if you decide to do it… like, I just don’t want to know when or how, obviously. I don’t want to know anything. I just want it to be done. I want it to be quick.” You swallow thickly, talking about your own death is really different than just thinking about it constantly. “I just don’t want anyone else hurt, like if you were to cut the wires on the breaks of my car or something? I could potentially crash and hurt someone in another car. And um… could you maybe not do it when I’m in the shower?” You smile weakly at your own request. “I mean, I don’t care if you like, come and do it in my sleep or whatever, but I have this thing while I’m showering… I’m at my most vulnerable, ya know and I just…”

“Yeah. I get it.” He walks a few steps towards you and puts his hand on the table, close to where you’re sitting. He has really long fingers and his knuckles are a bit bruised. There's a tan line where a ring used to be. He stands close to you now and he smells faintly of coffee. His body isn’t as rigid either, now that he knows you’re not a threat and just some small pathetic girl who can’t get her shit together.

“You do?” Relief floods you. Thank God. He understands. That means he’ll do it, right? “So, you’ll do it?”

John just stares now, his eyes soft and unblinking.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. You thought you had explained yourself well enough. What could he possibly be thinking about? It’s his job.

Looking away, he shakes his head. “This is just… not what I expected.”

“Oh.” Okay, that makes sense. You wonder who John thought you’d want to kill. He should still want to get paid though, but you don’t think that’d be the best thing to tell him. You feel like you’ll get scolded or yelled at for some reason. You decide to let him think and keep quiet.

His whole demeanor suddenly changes and he mutters under his breath, “Fucking Jimmy… fucking favors.”  He folds his arms too, like you and leans his narrow hip on the tabe, casual now. You take offense.

“Look, I’m serious about this. I can’t keep living like I am. I know that it could be worse, okay? I know I could be homeless or I could… it could be a lot worse. But I’m just done. I’m tired. I want out. So just… please?”

John nods silently. Finally he answers as he stands up straight, broad shoulders squared and readies himself to leave. “I’ll let you know.”

You feel the panic tighten in your lungs. “Wait. What? You can’t tell me now? That’s bullshit!”

“That’s the way this works,” he says calmly. “I get to think about it and get back to you if I take the job.”

You’ve been planning this for months. None stop thinking about this very moment. The disappointment you feel is familiar though. Nothing in your life would ever be easy. “Yeah, okay.” You sigh sadly. “Could you at least tell me how much it’ll cost if you do decide?”

John unfolds his arms and puts his hands on his hips. “Fifty thousand.”

“Fift-- what? Are you serious?! That’s insane.”

He shrugs again and doesn’t say anything. He actually does look very serious. In fact, that could be a smirk on his pretty mouth.

You may not be smart, but you aren’t stupid either. “Fine. I’ll just get someone else to do it. This city is full of scumbags who need to make a buck.” Jumping down from the table you stand and you realize how tall John is compared to you. “Just leave. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“No. No. Don’t do that.” The urgency that suddenly comes from him surprises you and it causes you to take a step back. “Just. Promise me. You won’t get anyone else, okay?”

You scoff in frustration. “Well what the hell else am I supposed to do? I don’t need all of this…” your hands gesture to his expensive clothes and for the first time you see the shiny classic car that’s parked a few yards away. You sigh loudly, unimpressed. Usually guys who have a car like that are complete douche bags. “Fancy.”

“Fancy?” John gives you a disapproving look.

“Yeah, you’re very fancy, I don’t know.” You’re pissed off and he seems to finally get it, putting his hands up like you’re a scared kitten.

“Okay, okay, fine. Look, I’ll do it.”

Call it a woman's intuition but you don’t believe him and it shows. “How much?”

John searches the ground, scrambling for an answer that won’t make you walk. “Three hundred.”

That’s not what you were expecting, but whatever. You just want to go and lay down before your shift starts at work. You don’t really have to go in, knowing it won’t matter in a few days, but you want to live normally in complete bliss of denial that this whole thing ever happened. When it’s your time to go, it's your time. Sort of.

“I want it to happen within a week of today. I don’t care if it’s tomorrow, tonight, or three days from now. But in seven’s day time… it’s done.” You reach your hand out for John to shake it. “Deal?”

He looks down at your hand. It’s like everything John does is precise, every move made is methodical. Your hands meet and shake twice, his fingers engulfing yours and you pull away quickly.

“How do I pay you?” Do you leave the money on your kitchen table or something?

John takes out car keys from his pocket. “I’ll contact you.”

“You don’t even have my phone number. You don’t even know my name.”

Now he really does smirk and you feel slightly dumb at questioning him. “I’ll be in contact,” he repeats. You have no doubt that he knows exactly where you live, your phone number, even your social security number. He probably knew all your information before meeting you today.

“Fine.” You grab your purse from the bench and swing it over your shoulder. “Thank you, I guess.”

John steps back towards his car and stops. “Just… one thing?”

“Yeah?”

His voice is soft, hopeful even. “Tell me if you change your mind?”

You shake your head no. “I won--”

“Just...” He stops you before the protest starts. “When I contact you, let me know then.” With that he turns towards the parking lot.

You can hear the roar of his car as you start to walk home. You did it. It’s done. You smile to yourself, the first in a very long time and it feels foreign on your lips.

**

The dog is barking again as you try to rest. Your headache isn’t much better, but the thought of a cold energy drink at work makes you get up and dressed.

It’s very rare that you look at yourself in the mirror anymore. The last time must have been months ago. Your hair is stringy and long, not having a cut in years. Dark, shallow circles engulf under your lifeless eyes. Your cheeks are sunken in but you put on a few pounds lately, sugar being the only thing to keep you up and going. It’s not a cute sight.

The only clothes you have now either have a hole or a rip somewhere. Your shoes are worn thin and probably contribute to the constant pain in your lower back.

You look decent enough and the thought that this might be your last night of work gives your stomach a sharp twist. John could come tonight. He could be in your apartment waiting for you when you got home. Will he have a gun? A knife? Maybe he’ll strangle… you need to stop thinking about it.

The small apartment is sticky hot when you lock up, and you’re glad for the short walk to the gas station for some fresh air.

Gary’s car is parked in front of the car wash and your heart falls. He really is the worst manager ever and even though you’re not really scared of him, he gives you the creeps. You don’t want to deal with his shit tonight, not after today, and you wonder how long he’ll be there since he’s only supposed to check in a few times a week.

“Hey,” You mutter to him as you walk briskly to put your purse in the back and grab the soda you stuck in the fridge on your last shift.

Gary’s smiling and leering at you. “How are you, sweetheart?”

Grimacing weakly you nod and glance at his bald head. You never really look at him and avoid all possible eye contact. You ignore the question though and move to grab your apron under the counter and start to stock the shelves of assorted candy and gum. Hopefully he leaves you alone today.

“I like that color on you.”

You hear his comment and close your eyes for strength. The door suddenly opens, signaling a customer and you hurry to the register to help. Gary must give up and heads to the back storage room.

The lady pays for her gas and a bottle of water but the register jams and you have to work your magic to get it open. The register is a piece of crap that’s way older than it should be and you’re surprised it still works, but you’ve mastered it and know every trick to get it functioning. You always have to teach the guy who works in the mornings and the other employees who work on the weekend how to fix it.

Gary finally leaves after you don’t pay him much attention and keep yourself busy. It’s a fine line between being rude to the guy and keeping your job. And although you could tell him off because John could technically come for you tonight, something tells you that you’re better than that. But barely, because you really don’t want any other girl to go through what you have in this place. Maybe you’ll leave a letter to corporate that John can mail for you after he’s… done.

You close up at midnight like usual and glad the night wasn’t eventful. Walking home is a different experience than any other night. You’re hyper aware of your surroundings, expecting a tall figure to approach you at any second. It’s slightly disappointing when nothing happens and you make it just fine.

There’s no one in your apartment either. You kind of thought John would be waiting in the closet, waiting for you to sleep or something, but he’s not here.

You lay in bed, restless. Should you even plan out your day tomorrow? John could slip in the middle of the night and you would never know. He said that he would be in contact, but you’re not sure how long you’ll have to wait. Your thoughts are a jumbled mess and it’s oddly quiet. So odd that you sit up a little wondering what’s going on. There’s no dog barking. You dare get excited enough to open the window, finally letting in a cool breeze that you’ve been longing for since the warmer months. You would always drown out the barking by keeping the window closed, but this feels amazing.

You creep into your own bathroom with the lightest of footsteps. Could this actually be happening? There’s no water coming from the facet. No sound of drip. Drip. Drip.

It’s silent. For the first time since you’ve lived here it’s relatively quiet and you jump back in bed suddenly exhausted from today’s big meeting. Images of John float through your mind and you close your eyes and finally sleep.

**

You wake with a newfound energy. How amazing it is to sleep well and get a full night rest. Your body feels lighter and mind alert. You take the time to stretch, breathing in deeply. You actually have time to do things. Usually you lounge around in bed before you have to get up for your shift, resting all you could. It feels good to pick up around the apartment, throw some things away that you don’t want anyone finding...well, after…

There’s a pep in your step when you get to work, plus Gary’s car isn’t in the parking lot. In fact, there’s a strange woman behind the counter bustling around, shoving papers here and there.

“Hi… are you new?” You ask. She’s a nice looking lady, with blue eyes and soft blond hair above her shoulders.

Startled, she turns and smiles. “Hi! No, not really. Well, I’m one of the district managers. Gary suddenly quit so I’m trying to figure out where everything is and what I can do to help. I’m Carla, by the way.”

A slow grin spreads on your lips. “Gary quit? Seriously?”

“Yeah,” she sighs. Still flipping through a stack of papers that you recognize are the schedules for you and your co-workers. “Said he was moving across the country, I’m not sure. Now who are you exactly? I’m sorry, I haven’t met anyone. I came in to open up this morning and I’ve been here all day.”

You introduce yourself politely and offer that she take a break and go to get something to eat or go home. You can handle closing up, after all.

Carla nods and grabs her purse. “You’re sweet, thank you. I remember your name from the records the company keeps on file. Your cash handling skills are great and you’ve never called out. You’ve never had any warnings. How would you like a promotion today?”

You can’t do anything but blink at her.

She laughs warmly at your reaction. “Look, why don’t you think it over, okay? It’s actually not a bad gig. An assistant manager is what I’m looking for. You’d work under me, but you’d be in charge of all the scheduling and hiring. I’d need you to be full time but that means benefits and a raise, of course. There’s a folder on the counter about the training program. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Nodding, you go behind the counter as she leaves through the front door. You’re glad there’s no customers around right now because you just sink into the chair and stare, jacket and backpack still on. You think she must be joking and shake yourself out of it. The folder is blue and laminated with thick paper, very professional. You briefly look at the benefit section in the back. It’s typical medical, dental, vision… and mental health? Therapy and counseling included for a small fee.

Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ll have to tell Carla no tomorrow. If you have a tomorrow. You push the folder to the side and pay attention to the flow of customers starting to come in for the after work rush. It stays busy well after the sun goes down and you realize it’s Fourth of July, so it’s busier than normal. You briefly feel sad that this is how you’ll spend your last holiday.

After a quick break when it’s quiet you reach to check your phone. You have a text from an unknown number.

Did you change your mind yet?

You scoff and shake your head. Yet? Yeah right. You type out No and send it back, putting John’s name into your phone first. You wonder if he’ll destroy it after… or hide it with your body… ugh, there was a reason you couldn’t do this yourself. It’s morose.

You’ve already gone through every single emotion though. The turmoil, the grief, the anger, the shame, and finally the acceptance. There’s no talking you out of it now. You don’t have anything that would be worth something, so your stuff will probably be thrown out or donated. You do wonder about the debt and what will happen, but you just don’t think about it too much.

Your phone beeps again a few hours later, as you’re packing up to go home.

Relax. I’m not coming tonight.

A breath you’ve been holding without realizing escapes and you hadn’t known how tense you were the entire night. You think John might be trying to fool you, but you also don’t think that’s his style.

The car ride home is oddly smooth and your car seems a lot less bumpy than usual. Maybe that means it’ll break down soon, you have no idea.

You wonder what will happen to your car after you’re gone. 

**

The next day you have nothing to do in the morning, but you need to do laundry so you head out early with your dirty clothes stuffed in a bag, swung heavily over your shoulder.  You decide to treat yourself on the way to a sweet, rich coffee that tastes so good as you take a long sip. No one is around and you settle in a hard plastic chair to wait after you throw the first wash in the machine.

He could poison me, you think to yourself, staring at your coffee. That’d be a good way to do it. Nice and easy. No witnesses he’d have to deal with. No investigation. That’s what you’re paying him for, right? No messes to clean up.

The door to the laundromat swings open and here comes John himself, almost walking in slow motion in his dark suit, and you feel like you’ve just been punched in the gut. This is how he decides to do it? Now? At the laundry place? Where you’re wearing old clothes and wrinkled underwear? Perfect.

“Hi.” He stands over you, tall and brooding. You notice that he has a faint trace of a black eye and a small cut on his lip.

“This is happening?” You ask, still not really believing your shitty luck. This beautiful man seeing you in such a state of upheaval is embarrassing.

“No. Not right now. I wanted to see if you changed your mind.” John’s voice is stern, determined. His hair is slicked back, making him look intimidating, much more now that you’re both under fluorescent lights rather than the soft sun rays at the park.

Your eyes track down his body, taking in those shoulders and slim waist, long legs in a perfectly fitted suit. “Do you always dress up? Like every day?”

“What?”

You gesture to his clothes. “What’s with all the suits? I mean, you look very nice but this is the cheapest laundromat in the entire city.”

For the first time John really looks around. His eyes had darted past you to the backdoor as he walked in, but otherwise his gaze was completely on you. “I um… I have another job after this.”

“Oh. I didn’t know hitmen were in such demand.”

John clears his throat. “Assassin.”

“What?”

“I’m an assassin.” He says it slowly, making sure you understand. “Not a hitman.”

An assassin? That makes sense, you knew he was too fancy to be a hitman. “What’s the difference?”

Still speaking slowly he says, “A hitman usually gets one target. I get them all.”

“Do you like… shoot guys from a rooftop or something?”

“No, that’s a sniper.”

“Of course. I apologize.” What a completely ridiculous conversation you’re having right now.

He cocks his head at your words and raises an eyebrow.

You take a sip of your coffee. “What?

“You aren’t scared?”

“Of what?” You smile, almost teasingly. “You? No. I kinda knew you were in the business when I hired you, remember?”

“Oh, so I’m your employee?”

You swear he’s almost teasing back and it surprises you because up until now he’s been so serious. You shrug your shoulders though, looking him up and down again. “I mean, I guess. You must be really desperate for that three hundred bucks.” It comes out sarcastic but you can’t help it.

John presses his lips together, disapproving again and sighs. “Why don’t you call this off, huh?”

Sure, work has gotten immensely better and you can actually sleep through the night. Two huge changes all in just two days, but you still have a mountain ahead of you. “I have thousands of dollars in debt, John. I have an ex boyfriend who is literally going to hunt me down in a month. Changing my mind is not an option.”

He unbuttons his suit jacket and puts his hands on his hips, starting to pace.

You sip your coffee again. “I appreciate you asking, but I don’t see a way out so… a deal is still a deal, right?”

You watch as he doesn’t answer and thinks. He really is a good looking assassin. You feel bad that he has to see you in this state of disarray. Beautiful women are probably all over him.

John stops suddenly. “What's the ex boyfriend's name?”

“Huh?”

“His name? Tell me what it is.”

You usually wouldn't in a million years, but you totally lied before because John actually does scare you. “It’s Max. Max Brickson.”

John looks up at the ceiling, like he’s cataloging all the names in his head for something familiar but it doesn’t seem like he knows it. “I’ll take him out instead.”

“Huh?” You haven’t talked to many people lately, wanting to keep to yourself, but usually you can at least articulate actual words.

“I’ll take your money,” John is talking fast now and sits down in the plastic chair next to yours. “And I’ll kill him. Instead of… well, instead of you. Problem solved.”

“Um, problem not solved.” Your voice is squeaky. “What if he hurts you? No way.”

There’s that pensive, disapproving look again. With a flick of his wrist you suddenly see a very sharp knife in his hand. Without even looking he throws it smack in the center of the poison sign on the wall all the way in the back.

“Okay, stupid point.” You swallow thickly because that was awesome and frightening all at once. “But I can’t have someone killed. Are you insane? There’s a difference between doing it to myself and someone else.”

John is rattled with confusion. “But he hurt you? Abused you, probably.”

“So what? No, absolutely not.” You shake your head and cross your legs, giving John your own don’t mess with me right now look.

“Well what if I scare him off? When he gets out? I could come to your place for a few nights, see if he comes around and if he does…”

You narrow your eyes.

“I’ll just beat him up, I swear. That’s all I’ll do.”

He’s lying. You both know it.

“Yeah right.” The plastic chair creaks as you get up to put your laundry in the dryer. “Besides, that still leaves the bills, John. My back hurts, my feet hurt, I’m lonely, I have no one. I don’t have anything to live for. So just forget about it. The deal stays as is. I don’t know why you care anyway.”

The air is weighted with thick tension and he’s up, walking to get his knife that’s still sticking in the wall. He doesn’t say anything as he passes you and slams the door shut after him.

As far as visits to the laundromat go, this was by far the most exciting.

**

It’s been five days and you’re still alive. Yes, you’re less tired and yes, work has been better but still.  You groan at the pile of mail on your table and decide to open the envelopes you’ve just added from emptying your mailbox, probably for the last time.

The first papers you open have red ink all over, littered with the words over due and late. You decide to leave them in a nice pile for whoever will find them, somewhat organized. The next envelope is thinner though and you have to look at it twice. Zero balance. Paid in full.

Great. Some sort of mistake. Something else to deal with. Although, you don’t really have to do anything about it. You toss it on top and clean the kitchen a little, read through one of the free magazines you got from work, but curiosity eventually gets to you.

After twenty minutes of answering questions about your account, the nice lady from the collection agency tells you that your balance is in fact, zero. Not only that, but the other account you have in your name is also at zero. They were both paid two days ago but she can’t tell you what happened.

You have to get to work anyway and you’re still thinking about it when Carla asks you what’s wrong. Telling her briefly about the situation you confide that you’re baffled, but she shrugs it off.

“Your grandma probably had life insurance. Mine did, and my father didn’t find out about it until after she passed. She probably knew how expensive all of this would be for you.” Patting you on the shoulder, Carla’s eyes are full of sympathy as she goes behind the counter to help someone.

You knew all of grandma’s finances though. At least, you thought you did. Maybe she was keeping secrets.

The front door swings open and Sam greets you, “Hey buddy.” He’s a new kid Carla hired a few days ago to help on your off days and he's here for training. He’s still in high school and seems really sweet.

Carla is texting away on her phone and tells Sam to put his stuff in the back and grab a water before getting started. Then she touches your elbow and whispers, “Do you think you could train Sam today? I know you told me no about the assistant manager position, but my daughter is having a meltdown about a boy right now. I’ll make sure to give you a bonus and buy you one of those coffees you like!”

You smile and nod. At least the day will go by faster. “Just the coffee will be fine,” you tell her and she shoots you a grateful look. She tells Sam what’s going on and flies out the front door, both of you giggling at the sight of her dress blowing in the wind.

The night goes really smooth and Sam is goofy, making you laugh more than you can remember. You learned shortly after Carla and you had a conversation a few days ago that Gary had been keeping you on nights alone, saving the salary of the extra person who would have been with you for at least a few hours before closing. He had been doing a lot of things wrong, like not letting you take lunches or refusing to pay you overtime. Carla was shocked when she looked at the logs and it had all stopped immediately.

You feel pretty proud at the way Sam gushes over how you know all the tricks to the register, especially when he locks it up a few times and you know how to troubleshoot it easily. You hope he remembers all these tricks because even the girls from the day shift have to call you sometimes for help.

Before you know it, Sam is leaving and you’re heading out. The ride home is short and your apartment quiet.

You sit at your kitchen table, eyeing the zero balance written in black ink you left on top of the pile of envelopes.

Not red.

Well, fuck.

Your life is kinda good right now. It doesn’t actually royally suck. Yeah, you still have to worry about Max, but you could always take John up on his offer. If you don’t have to use your entire paycheck to pay the credit bills, and you took the promotion, that’d leave you enough to start saving… and maybe buy some new shoes. Maybe you could go to counseling. Get your head back on straight. Maybe go back to school.

Your fingers are cold when you reach for your cell phone. You think that you might change your mind in the morning, but knowing a good sleep is in the cards for you tonight, you decide to just make the call now.

“This is Wick.”

“John?”

“Oh hey… how are you?”

His full name is John Wick and the thought barely processes before you continue to talk. “I think I changed my mind.”

“You think?”

Of course he wasn’t going to let you off that easy. “Fine. I did change my mind. Don’t do it.”

You can hear him smiling through the phone. “This is the first job I’ve ever been fired from.”

“Ah, John. I’m sure you would have done an excellent job. Thanks for not… well, you know. Not doing anything to me yesterday. Or even this morning.” You tell him, tapping the zero on the folded bill with your fingernail. “I appreciate everything, in a really weird way.”

“I didn’t do anything.” He says softly.

“You gave me time. Things suddenly seem to be working out so… yeah.”

John’s voice is kind and you vividly remember him throwing the knife with such force in the laundromat. You’re sad that you’ll never see him again. You wonder if he wasn’t an assassin and if you weren’t such a wreck maybe you could ever be friends. “I’m really happy for you.”

You don’t say anything as you hang up on him. You can tell he’s not one for goodbyes anyway.

**

It takes a few weeks, but therapy is a good look on you. Things that were very black and white in your world suddenly had color. Smiling more and crying less, laughing instead of eating your feelings away. The new job is just challenging enough that you excel at it, but still have time for maybe taking some classes when school starts.

You did buy new clothes, new shoes, and a new mattress. You don’t have enough for a new car yet, but surprisingly it’s running just fine. Turns out your apartment manager only speaks Russian, and simply didn’t understand when you tell him things are broken. Now you have new light bulbs, and new shower head, and new carpet.

Your savings account is slowly growing too. You’ve gone out to lunch a few times with Carla and even helped Sam with his homework once or twice. Your confidence is building and you feel the strength in your mind and body. It’s amazing what can happen when you sleep and pain isn’t throbbing in your back, and the headaches seem to have gone away too.

In fact, you’ve taken up running and currently you’re at a good pace around the lake early this morning. The music is blasting in your ears and the sweat at your brow feels good. You feel alive.

And that’s when you spot him. You’d know that stride anywhere, John being on your mind as a handsome acquaintance instead of an assassin you hired… and then fired.

“Hey! I can’t believe you’re here!” You pull out your earbuds and catch your breath as you take in John’s appearance. He looks different in dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt. He has the cutest bulldog on a leash who is patiently waiting by his side.

“Hi!” He looks almost as surprised as you are. Almost. He smiles widely and puts his hands shyly in his pockets.

“What’re you doing here? You live close by?” You ask, still sucking in air. You’re so out of shape, but you learned in therapy that even ten minutes of movement is a milestone.

“Uh, yeah. I live in Mill Neck.” He points across the lake, towards the nice side of town. You live on the opposite side of the lake.

“Ah, of course. That’s cool.”

“You look nice. You look happy.” John says, still smiling softly, his eyes never leaving yours.

Blushing you glance down at the dog and ignore his words. “Who’s this big guy, huh? Can I pet him?” “Yes, of course.” John replies. “I only got him a few weeks ago actually, still figuring out a name.”

“He looks like a pooch, don’t ya?” You forget John is even there as you crouch down and talk to the dog, who has a beautiful silver blue coat of fur and you laugh as he licks at your chin.

“I think he likes you.” John bends down too and gently pulls the dog away. “Pooch, huh?”

“Well anything’s better than hey dog .” You shrug and stand back up. “He’s really cute.”

“Yeah, I think we get along just fine.” John agrees.

You start to put your earbuds back in and give him a little wave, suddenly feeling awkward. You don’t want to intrude on his walk.

“I’ll be seeing you, maybe?”

John chuckles and bites at his lip. “Not if I see you first.”

What the hell does that mean?  A huge flock of ducks fly down into the lake and you hear the leash pull as John lets out a low sound of a commanding heel, which makes you tingle.

However, it doesn’t faze the dog because he barks. Loudly. And you stop cold. You know the sound of that bark. It’s tattooed in your brain. You turn around slowly and now you shiver all over, but not because of attraction. You slowly stalk back towards John and you can hear him mutter to himself. It sounds like shit. It sounds like he just got caught.

“You stole the fucking dog across from my apartment.” Your voice is low and accusing, a statement because you already know the answer. You lean in close to John, your jaw ticking in anger. “You kidnapped a dog!”

“Shh. Look, come over here.” He leads you to a nearby bench and sits you down.

You feel a panic attack coming and you try to think of what you learned in therapy. The lightheadedness gets to you fast though and John pushes your head between your legs. You’d be embarrassed but you’re too upset. “Oh my God. You did everything, didn’t you? You… you…. Oh my God. I’m so fucking stupid.”

John sits down and tries not to crowd you, but he doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. The dog seems unfazed and curls up at his feet. “He was starving,” John explains, his fingers lightly brushing your elbow. “That’s why he was always barking. He was chained up with no food, only rainwater to drink. No shelter. I couldn’t just leave him there.”

You look at the dog and even now through a panicked haze, you can see that his ribs are sticking out slightly. He’s happily panting and staring down the ducks, completely oblivious of your anxiety.

“Tell me what else. Oh my God, you made them give me a promotion? I couldn’t even do that by myself.”

John pauses and shakes his head. “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh my God… did you kill Gary?”

“.... no”

“Oh my GOD.”

“I just threatened him.” John’s voice is loud now and he looks around guiltily. You glare at him to start talking and he’s almost whispering. “Really. I didn’t kill him. I went over to his house in the middle of the night when no one else was home and---”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Look, he needed to go. He really was a scumbag. Not kill worthly, but still. The town is better off without him here.”

You look at John in disgust. He’s telling you all of this so calmly. Another thought pops in your mind that makes you sick. “You paid off my debt, didn’t you?”

He doesn’t answer, just sits back on the bench and gazes out to the water.

“Tell me.” Your stomach turns, but you need to know.

He nods once, not looking at you. Avoiding your eyes entirely.

“You asshole.” You mutter, your hands forming into a fist. “You complete asshole.”

He catches you before you can punch his shoulder and forces your arm down with ease. You know he’s holding back his full strength, but you can see his muscles bulge a little under his tight t-shirt. It’s very distracting.

“I thought I was helping. I would have tried to help anyone in your situation. I’m sorry, I should have told you. I didn’t know how.”

Slumping, you sit back too. Well this is a good mindfuck. Your brain starts to function again and the cold sweat from the panic attack is fading. You stare at your new running shoes that are so comfortable. The new purple wristband that shows how far you’ve gone and what your heart rate is at. You even got your haircut at the expensive new salon in the city. It’s so shiny and healthy now.

“I can pay you back.” You whisper, not knowing how long it’ll take. You can’t really return anything you bought, but maybe you can pick up some shifts at work. Get a second job instead of going to school.

John laughs, but nothing is funny and it comes out humorless. “This is not how I wanted you to find out. I had no intention of you paying me back. That was not the deal.”

“Fuck the deal. The deal has changed and I didn’t even know it.” You tell him, still staring at your feet. “Are you really even an assassin? How is this possible?”

“Oh, I’m an assassin,” John says, like he’s been doing it for years. “That homeless guy you gave your number to? He’s an informant for the police. I did my undercover cop friend a favor, he twisted his ankle the morning we met and needed someone to take his place.”

“Uh huh…” You’re starting to feel really dumb now.

“I was never going to kill you.” John continues. “Or anyone, I was just there to get information. Usually when a woman wants a hitman they want parents or husbands dead for the insurance or inheritance money. And you were obviously not a threat, so I told my friend you didn’t show.”

“Obviously.”

John rubs his hands up and down his legs and you’ve never seen him nervous. “I just take care of really bad people, in case you were wondering…”

You weren’t. You were only thinking of yourself. Flooding feelings of shame come crashing down. How could you be so selfish?

“Bad people?”

John mumbles “yes,” and you start thinking about the money again. “I need to pay you back.”

He shifts on the bench and gently guides your chin to look at him. His touch makes you dizzy all over. “Can I tell you something and you really hear it right now? Like, really listen to what I’m going to say to you.”

You nod and meet his eyes, and it doesn’t look like he believes you, but he starts anyway. “I have plenty of money.” His tone is very soft and he’s speaking slowly, like you’re a child. “I don’t need your money.”

“You don’t need my money?” You ask, still not completely with it.

“I don’t need your money.” He confirms. “You’re not going to pay me. If you do, I’ll find a way to get it back to you.”

“Oh my God.” You sit up with a gasp. How could you be so oblivious? “Did you fix my bathroom sink??”

John looks guilty again, hands now falling in his lap. “You needed to sleep. And you need a new lock on your door, it was too easy to break in.”

“And you fixed my car.” You say in a daze, not really listening to him anymore.

“Well, it was easy to steal while you were at work and my friend is a mechanic. All it needed was some new tires and a tune up.”

Your eyes are wide and you blink to keep from screaming at him. “Anything else?”

“No. No, that’s it.”

As if it wasn’t enough.

**

You don’t remember leaving the lake. You barely remember John calling out your name, his fingers grabbing at yours to stay with him.

You do remember getting home and calling your therapist for an emergency session. It took three hours to explain it all. She tried to hide it, but she looked pretty horrified at your plan to hire a hitman. You’ve only seen her a handful of times anyway, and you hadn’t even breached the surface of your problems, let alone get to the part about John. She manages to calm you down, and gives you some coping skills to get through the rest of the day. She also asks if you still plan on hurting yourself, but you can confidently tell her no. You promise when you go home you’ll do some deep breathing exercises that you admit actually do work.

You think any sane person would thank John for doing all he did, but you’re too proud and it pisses you off. No one gets help like that. Everyone should fend for themselves. Fight their own fight. And you had, and you thought you’d figured it out. You didn’t need someone to save you. You were going to escape, however it had to be done.

At the end of another therapy session a few days later, you come to terms with it. You realize John is an adult and acted on his own will. You couldn’t have controlled him or his actions. For some reason he decided to help you and somehow you need to know that maybe you’re worth it. That’s later down the road though, you’re still not ready to see that yet.

You decide on a whim one night to text John that you forgive him and thank him for the things he did.

He sends you back a smiley face emoji and you melt a little more.

**

It’s only been three weeks since the day at the lake when your phone rings with a private number. It’s the officer who arrested Max and helped get him behind bars. He’s being let out tomorrow and Officer Sanders wanted to let you know as a courtesy. You thank him, your throat dry and he tells you to call him immediately if you need help.

You think about John’s offer at the laundromat, but can you really ask him to do something else for you? It’s a little desperate and you’ve become so independent in this last month that the thought really doesn’t sit well. Instead, you berate yourself for not taking self defense classes and briefly consider buying a gun when your phone rings again.

“Your ex is getting paroled tomorrow.” John tells you, before you can even say hello. “I’ll be at your place for a few days. No argument.” Gone is the guilt ridden guy at the park, the assassin is back and you don’t have the guts to tell him no.

“The couch is really uncomfortable.” You try instead and you can almost hear an eye roll.

“Be safe.” And John hangs up.

You lay down on your bedroom floor and reach under your bed for the baseball bat you hid there a long time ago. You could totally take care of yourself and practise a few swings, going a little too hard and somehow you end up with a good size bruise on the top of your foot.

Sighing, you sit down on your bed and come to accept that John Wick, the assassin, is just going to stay with you for a couple days. Not an issue at all. No problem. All very normal.

You tell yourself this over and over, but in the back of your mind you know it’s all lies and denial.

TBC   Chapter 2

[holidaywishes]

Embers V

Chapter V: out of line

  Summary of series: Katie moves from Peachtree, Georgia, to L.A. with her son, Alex to start fresh after the death of her husband. When she meets Evan Buckley, a young firefighter, she falls fast but will her son be so quick to accept Evan into his life?

  Summary of chapter: After the dinner at the Firehouse, Katie is confused by the way Big Jeff is acting around her and tries to talk to him but it doesn’t go as planned.

  Warning: Angst, death, possible trigger warning for death of a child

  Author’s Note: Here we go y’all! The start of the angsty chapters. I love me some good angst but this, to me, is the bare bones of what I’ll typically consider angst. This is more just casual dramatics but I did want to have some kind of ‘Evan has a bad day and come to Katie for comfort’ element so this is what I came up with. I have something pretty big in mind for a few chapters down the line which I think you’ll enjoy but, until that comes, I hope you enjoy the ride! Cheers, xx! 😘

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Katie’s P.O.V

  You dialed Evan’s number into your phone, sighing before bringing the phone to your ear

  “Hey” he greeted

  “Hi,” you smiled to yourself, something about his voice could immediately calm you down, “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “Don’t be. A little drama never hurt anyone” he laughed

  “I don’t know about that. I’m gonna talk to Jeff today, and Nick, to find out what was going on...”

  “Okay,” he responded, uncertainty on his tongue, “do you need me there in case he tries something?”

  “No,” you smirked, “I think I’ll be fine. Plus, I’ll have Alex with me. He’s the best way to diffuse any situation.” Evan laughed before agreeing and signing off, while you got ready to head into the fire -- so to speak. As you and Alex drove to your young client’s house, you tried to come up with something to say so you didn’t get too emotional but when you pulled up in front of the house, your anger couldn’t be contained

  “NICK!” You shouted outside Nick’s door while banging your fists on the wood, “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! ANSWER THE GOD DAMN DOOR NICKY!”

  “RELAX!” He yelled as he whipped open the door

  “Where is he?” You said, pushing Nick aside

  “Who? Big Jeff?” he answered, a confused look on his face, “he really didn’t mean anything by--”

  “Where. Is. He?” You urged and Nick obliged, directing you and Alex to the kitchen where his bodyguard was preparing a meal

  “Oh Katerina! Alex!” He said with a smile, welcoming you into the house, “It’s so good to see you!”

  “Save it, Jeff...” You hissed, “what the hell was that last night?”

  “What?” He asked, dumbfounded

  “Alex, sweetie,” you knelt down to meet your son’s eyes, “how about you go play video games with Nicky for a bit?” Just as you thought he would, Alex bounded over to the couch and you turned her attention back to ‘Big Jeff’

  “Everything okay?” he asked

  “Do you think I’m stupid? Or that I’d find the way you acted last night flattering?” you started, “because it wasn’t. It was embarrassing and completely out of line!”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, walking over to the fridge to put away the food he’d brought out earlier, “I was looking out for you and Alex. I’m always just looking out for the two of you.”

  “What was there for you to look out for?” you chided, “we were at dinner and my boyfriend offered to drive me and my son home. There’s nothing to worry about there..”

  “I think there is”

  “I think there’s not”

  “Well maybe that’s why you need someone like me.” Jeff said as he moved behind you slowly

  “What?” you asked, your breathing beginning to shallow

  “What would Jesse think?” he whispered, finally standing still behind you

  “Excuse me?” you started to turn but Jeff forced you to stay forward

  “Your husband died,” he snarled, “he didn’t leave. He died. You think he’d be okay with you moving on so fast?”

  “Watch it, Jeff” you tried, but it only seem to make him snicker

  “Someone needs to make sure you keep some kind of... virtue--” he circled around you and met your gaze-- “wouldn’t want to ruin the reputation you’ve worked so hard to create for yourself would you?”

  “You have no right to talk about my husband. You didn’t know him and my reputation is going to be just fine. I don’t need your help. We don’t need your help,” you scolded, beginning to storm out of the house, yelling to your son, “ALEX, come on baby, we’re gonna be late for school!” Your breathing was beginning to normalize but you could feel Jeff following you out of the house; he watched you as you helped Alex into the car and opened your car door before stepping in yourself, an almost sinister smile creeping across his face.

xx

  “So... what do you think his problem is?” Marie asked curiously, “think he’s obsessed with you?”

  “What? No!” you answered, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him but it was super weird and incredibly sketchy. I mean I’m sure it’s nothing...”

  “Yeah maybe..” she started, “but if you feel at all nervous, I would keep your distance. You and Alex”

  “I know but how am I supposed to do that? He’s on Nick’s payroll and I guess, technically, so am I..”

  “Just don’t be alone with him.” Her words sounded so final like they should be easy but something just didn’t sit right with you

  “Should I say something to Nick?” you asked

  “No,” Marie said bluntly, “I don’t think Nick would do anything other than say ‘it’s probably nothing’ and then go play some stupid video game.” You shrugged and moved on with your day.

  “Katie, let’s go!“ Your boss called out and you shot to her feet

  “Where are we going?” you asked

  “We’re going to get set up your two favourite clients on a date!” Raquel confidently walked past as her words mingled with the business of the office, “come quick before I take her off your hands!”

  “I never wanted her on my hands in the first place” you muttered to herself

  “KATIE!”

  “COMING!” You responded, running to meet your boss for a meeting you really didn’t want to have.

xx

  “I’m sorry,” Amber said, disdain dripped from her tongue as she spoke, “why do I have to fake a relationship with this... child?”

  “I’m not a child,” Nick replied, smiling as he continued, “and I can prove it to you.”

  “Ew” she scrunched her face before Raquel interrupted

  “Look, this is a great opportunity for both of you to branch out to different audiences,” she said, “get more fans..”

  “I don’t do PR relationships.” Amber stated, making you scoff and roll your eyes

  “You also don’t respect yourself” you added

  “Excuse you, yes I do.”

  “Not according to the millions of results whenever someone does a web search for Amber Reed” You chided

  “Who cares,” she scoffed, “that’s all fake anyway”

  “It doesn’t matter, Amber,” you tried, “your audience is made up of young, incredibly impressionable, girls and their parents are the ones who hold the purse strings.”

  “So..?”

  “Oh my go--” you sighed to her boss who immediately took over

  “So, you don’t make money if your image doesn’t improve”

  “I’m not a child and I want to be treated as the adult I am”

  “You have to know your lines and learn to stick within them.” You added and watched as Amber considered your words, pursing her lips before looking at Nick

  “So what does surfer boy have to do with this?” she asked and you noticed Raquel smile

  “Well,” you started, “Mom’s love Nick. No one really knows why, but it probably has something to do with his videos with his little brother who doesn’t live in L.A.--”

  “He lives in Minnesota with my Dad” Nick interjected and you shook her head, smiling at him

  “Mom’s can see Nick as being a good influence on their kids because he’s a good influence on his own brother. Add to that that his publicist is a mother,” you gestured to yourself, “and they’re immediately won over by him and his stupid charm.”

  “I have to play girlfriend to a Youtuber to fix my image?” she cringed

  “You really think I wanna do this sweetheart?” Nick countered, “No. I know your story. Spoiled little rich bitch who won a talent show and never had to work to get where she is. I’m only agreeing to this because I trust Katie and she seems to think this could be good for both of us.”

  “You don’t know a thing about me” Amber scowled at Nick

  “That’s why you get to know each other,” Raquel added, “you two don’t actually have to date each other. Just learn some things about each other -- enough to fool reporters and paparazzi and both of your audiences.” The two thought about it for a minute until reluctantly agreeing. You would be lying if you said you didn’t think it was going to be a total disaster but you were really hoping you were wrong.

xx

Evan’s P.O.V.

  “So you talked to him?” he asked Katie, who’s voice chimed from the other end of the call

  “I did. It was really weird, he was really weird. But it was probably nothing...”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Oh god, yeah,” she laughed, “I’m fine. I’ve got it handled.. for now anyway.”

  “I’m only a phone call away if you need me”

  “Good to know.” The siren rang through the firehouse and you had to say goodbye to Katie. He had no idea what the call would be about but he dove in, ready for anything. Though he couldn’t say he was ready for this.

  “Holy crap...” you whispered to yourself, staring at the scene in front of you. A bus had skidded off the road and was stuck between a branch and a road off the side of a cliff.

  “What do we got?” Bobby said as Hen gave the team a run through. Everyone else had gotten out of the bus fine, unscathed, except for one little boy who was too close to the front door -- too far for anyone to reach, “alright. Here’s what we’re gonna do. Eddie, Buck, you two are going to repel on either side of the bus. We have to move quickly because we don’t know how long that bus is going to stay where it is. But the two of you can’t make any sudden movements when you get there, we don’t want to risk that bus falling.” There was something about Bobby’s tone that made you realize that the likelihood of saving this boy was low but he did as instructed and made his way to the front of the bus where the boy was. When you saw the little boy, he called out and asked for the boy’s name

  “Kingston” he sobbed

  “Hi Kingston, my name is Evan and this is Eddie,” he gestured to Eddie on the other side of the bus, “we’re gonna get you outta here okay? But you have to be really still for us.”

  “Okay” he replied and you could see him wiping away his tears.

  “I don’t know how to get in there, Buck,” Eddie called, “if we try to open this door, the whole bus could shift and fall”

  “If we break a window, we won’t have room to get in there and bring him out safely,” you answered, “it’s not sturdy enough for us to shimmy through”

  “How’s it goin’ down there guys?” Chimney called

  “We’re thinking!” Eddie yelled up, concern lacing every word, “we need a harness!” You weren’t sure what Eddie was doing since the two of them agreed there was no way of getting into the bus without it shifting loose and falling

  “Eddie, what are you doing?” you asked as Eddie contemplated a way to get inside

  “If I can get in there and position myself in front of the window, and quickly grab him, maybe I can break the glass and repel out the front instead of to the side?”

  “And what if the bus falls forward?” you argued, “it’s too risky Eddie!”

  “I know! We can’t just leave him there. We need to do something!” Eddie was clearly stressed but he calmed himself down enough to talk to Kingston

  “Hey buddy, it’s Eddie, how are you doing?”

  “I wanna go home” Kingston answered shakily

  “I know, bud, and you will. Can you do something for me and Buck?” he asked and Kingston nodded, while you payed close attention, “can you move slowly, very very slowly toward this door?”

  “Eddie..” You started but Eddie held his hand out as if to say ‘give me a second.’ Kingston moved slowly but when the bus began to creak, he stopped

  “I can’t! I can’t!” he cried

  “Okay, that’s okay,” Eddie said, “you did so good, Little Man!” He dropped his head and tried to figure something out with you but the you could only stare at each other.

  “I think that we can only keep him calm..” Eddie sighed, “make sure he’s not alone.” You knew, on some level, that Eddie was right but you didn’t want to lose someone else; especially not a child.

  “What if we--“ You started to suggest something when a voice called out

  “Kingston!” the voice yelled, “Kingston baby! Where is my son?! WHERE’S MY SON!”

  “Mommy?” Kingston yelled

  “Ho-ho-hold on!” You and Eddie both yelled to the woman above them

  “Mommy?!” Kingston repeated

  “Kingston, no!” You shouted as he saw the little boy begin to move, “STOP!” Your words were met by panicked screaming as the bus shifted away from the branch it was trapped by and crashed to the bottom of the cliff. Leaving you and Eddie to drop their heads in defeat, a rush of sadness covering their faces.

  “Where’s my son?!” The two of you heard the mother call as they removed their harnesses and slumped back to the truck, “WHY COULDN’T YOU SAVE MY SON?!” She cried; both Eddie and you were silent as they left the scene and made no eye contact with the rest of the team.

xx

Katie’s P.O.V

  “THIS IS AWESOME!” Alex shouted as you and him set the bed with the new comforter set that he picked out for Evan

  “I think he’ll get a kick out of it” you laughed as you stared at the comforter, covered with Does and Bucks.

  “I think he’ll like it too!” he smiled

  “So you like Buck now?” you asked and Alex nodded emphatically.

  “He’s pretty cool.” You smiled before finishing making the bed. When the doorbell rang, Alex rushed to answer it

  “Slow down, bud” you laughed

  “Hey Buck!” Alex greeted him just as you came to stand behind your son

  “Hey Bud!” Evan replied before Alex dragged him into the bedroom to show him the comforter, “WHOA! Look at that!” Evan said

  “They’re Bucks, and you’re Buck!” Alex shouted and you laughed, paying close attention to Evan’s face

  “I love it, buddy.” He was sincere in how he said it, and when he picked Alex up to give him a hug, you noticed Evan’s eyes welling up with tears

  “Hey Liebling,” you said to Alex, “how about you go watch T.V. for a little while okay?” Evan put him down, and you giggled as he skipped out of the room and down the hall to watch his favourite shows, “the set isn’t that bad is it? He saw it and immediately thought of you, so we bought it. But it can just st--”

  “No no,” Evan smiled, rubbing your arms, “I love it.”

  “What’s going on?” you whispered, bringing him to sit on the bed with you. As soon as you asked, he fell apart in front of you, his head falling onto your lap and you brushed his hair to soothe him

  “Can I just.. be here like this?” he asked, tears falling on your lap

  “Of course you can” you replied, continuing to brush his hair, not knowing if he would tell you what had happened when he sat back up and began walking out to where Alex was; you followed closely behind, furrowing your brows when Evan stopped at the end of the hall and leaned against the wall. You let him know that you were there by rubbing his back gently, feeling him release a deep sigh

  “He’s so happy,” Evan said as he watched Alex play with his Lego in front of the T.V. with a very colourful show playing across it, “such a happy kid. Exactly how he should be...”

  “Yeah, he is..” you smiled but turned him to face you, “talk to me, Evan. I’ve never seen you like this and I’m starting to worry.”

  “We lost someone today,” he answered, “a kid.” He fell back against the wall and you moved closer to him, closing the gap to comfort him

  “Evan I’m so sorry”

  “His name was Kingston and he was just so young. It all happened so quickly. I can’t imagine how scared he was or what his parents are going through. I’ve only lost one other person on the job and it did a number on me...” You weren’t sure what to say, so you rubbed his shoulder and let him talk about it as much as he needed to, as much as he wanted to, “I don’t mean to dump all of this on you, I didn’t think I would talk about it this much--”

  “You can always talk to me,” you added, “about work, good or bad. About anything. I’m always here for you Evan...”

  “I know,” he smiled, taking your hand in his, “as weird as it sounds, I just wanted to see his smile. I wanted to just be around him, and you of course.”

  “I understand.” You smiled and he made his way over to the couch to sit by Alex. You watched as the two of them built an imaginary world of Lego’s, smiling at each other, laughing and letting the day wash away from them; you could tell it was exactly what Evan needed. He looked back to find you and smiled when he caught your eye, you returned the gesture before walking over to the couch to join them.

[warsofasoiaf]

Hi again, just a friendly reminder for you about Disco Elysium. I played it myself 2 weeks ago and I thought it was a wonderful game, looking forward to hear your opinion.

Here’s the weekend reminder about disco elysium: at some point I’d like to hear your thoughts about Kim and the deserter, but I’m sure you have a lot of first thoughts about the game’s narrative and styles at large and the overall themes ?

Yep, I’ve got many thoughts on Disco Elysium. Overall, I found it an incredibly enjoyable throwback to the classic role-playing games of the old Infinity Engine in a good way. It’s dialogue-driven in the way Planescape: Torment was, but was confident enough to avoid the pitfalls of combat that punctuated the D&D games in favor of a mechanical challenge of skill checks. All conflict is done through dialogue, either through picking a dialogue choice or engaging in a skill check. The game also helpfully gives you feedback, not only in your skill totals, but in how your actions influence the choices you’ve made. Did you take the corrupt union boss’s check? He has you over a bit of a barrel so it’s harder to resist him. Did you impress Cuno with your marksmanship by shooting down the body? You have a bonus to impress him since you’ve already done it before. This sort of openness with the mechanics of the game helps smooth over understanding of the functions, as well as reinforce the themes. Since everything you do is in the dialogue trees, and all of these choices occur in dialogue, it stresses careful reading of the dialogue box as opposed to something you just blow through to get quest markers or goodies.

Alright, let’s talk about the plot. Since there will be spoilers and it’s a relatively recent game, I’m going to throw a cut in here.

One of the chief themes of the game is sadness and loss, it’s written all across the setting. Heck, it’s even written into the name. Disco is the archetypical music genre that is dead, despite its followers wishing that it could come back. Elysium, the afterlife of Greek mythology. It was a failed communist revolution followed by a failed monarchist rebellion followed by a capitalist invasion, and now exists as a pit of corruption, crime, and plenty of people within Martinase look back to the lost days by cleaving to the old political systems as a source of comfort. Communists and monarchists look back to the old communes that were established, capitalists look to the successful Coalition and the ability of capital to absorb its naysayers and failures into itself for success, and the moralists look at the other three and say “you extremists are absolutely insane!” and hold to their own centrist platform and the path of incremental caution. This is hardly unusual in our own history, with far too many historical examples to list here. There’s a longing there for something that is lost, the people you meet in the game are lost, even what seems to be simple comedic beats have their own secret wishes, like Cuno who ends up helping you in the final act if you lose Kim, and can even become a junior police officer once out of the thumb of Cunoeese. Harry can sing the saddest song about the littlest church, and it’s a perfect expression of his regret, as his reptile brain lets him know. The deserter is lost in regret, albeit an incredibly negative sort. He curses those who are not ‘committed’ like him, who aren’t willing to murder like him. He looks at the Rene, the old monarchist with his boule, and wishes only to pull the trigger and silence him. 

The main character you inhabit is a great twist on the blank slate character that dominates the ‘western RPG.’ The main character starts the game passed out in his own drug-fueled excess. Where most RPG’s either expect reading a large lore dump (this was the case with the Forgotten Realms Infinity Engine games, which expected people to know who Cyric or Auril was) or largely wave it off with bland exposition, this was a game that made what happened an integral part of your character. What drives such a man to try and destroy himself so completely? Going through the game reveals the answer: it’s Dora, your ex-wife. Before, your obsession with your job (your case load, as noted by Kim, is exceptionally high), seemed to be at odds with your character’s penchant for substance abuse and overall instability, but exploring the failed relationship with Dora sheds new light on Harry DuBois. Dora was a wealthy woman, and your character was clearly a member of the lower classes given his demeanor and salary. Your character tried to immerse themselves in the work perhaps to earn more money, or simply to earn prestige to help alleviate the mismatch. It didn’t work, Dora left six years ago, and the detective has been alone ever since. By calculating the ‘cop tracks’ that the character can be on, the game can populate dialogue with references to the behavior, allowing the character to fill out aspects of themselves in a character-driven way. Tyranny did this with its campaign character generation, and Disco Elysium does it here. Such things are always going to be niche in RPG’s, the driving trend these days is instead make a completely blank character and have them be built out from actions taking place in the game world, but this typically leads to characters who rationalize performing optimal paths and who do everything the game offers in the world, which translates either into a lot of time doing repetitive content (in order to built up other character builds to the same level of mastery to the original build) or leads to ludo-narrative dissonance at the ease of which the character plows through the content, like becoming the Arch-Mage in Skyrim without being able to cast a single adept-level spell.

However, that isn’t to say that Harry is alone. Instead, the detective is quite a crowd is his own head, with the 24 various skills that he has developed largely advising, suggesting, yelling, and talking over each other. This was almost certainly part of the reason the original name of the game was “No Truce with the Furies.” The Furies, in Greek mythology were embodiment of vengeance, primal feelings that sought out their goals. These 24 skills in your head almost cannot be compromised with, only accepted or rejected. They’ll yell inside your own head to listen to them. Electrochemistry wants its next fix, Volition is certain that Klaasje is trying to manipulate you and wants you to slap cuffs on her right now, Physical Instrument wants you to show everyone who’s boss with fists while Authority wants the same with words. This was almost overwhelming at first, 24 characters to figure out in addition to my own character as well as Kim, Cuno, Joyce, Everett, and the Hanged Man made me wonder what exactly I was going to do. What was the difference between Volition and Composure, or Shivers and Inland Empire? It helps on a replay once you figure out what the skills actually mean and can help shape your character into your preferred vehicle for exploring Revanchol West. Dealing with these characters can be fun, insightful, and incredibly heartwarming, as the player can understand when they finally find out that Reptile Brain and Limbic System are simply trying to help Harry out with the loss of his ex-wife by trying to get rid of the sad feelings as best they can. 

What helps with this though, is that failing skill checks is not a death sentence. One of the most annoying things in games comes when you depend upon success after success that is out of your control, it encourages save-scumming behavior. This isn’t to say that failure isn’t a valuable learning experience or that difficulty is something to be avoided; the enduring popularity of the Soulsborne genre suggests that difficulty is not itself a bad thing. But failure typically has to be fair. If instead a game drops you in a room with 25 gorgons, forcing you to roll 25 checks against petrification or die immediately, that’s not challenge, that’s just padding the length of the game by forcing repeat content. Disco Elysium instead makes failure, particularly of red skill checks, either entertaining or allowing alternate paths. I laughed with absolute glee when my character took off from Garte yelling at him about the trashed hotel room which ended up becoming a full sprint while flipping him the bird, causing me instead to run over the nice wheelchair-bound old lady, in true black comedy fashion, or that you can get into a nodding war with Kim that’s so intense that you actually break your neck. That the game offers so many different methods to the same path helps elevate the role-playing elements.

Similarly, one of the best moments of game design was when you looked at the billboard to find out where Ruby could have gone. It’s a difficult Shivers check, which might force people into an insurmountable wall if they haven’t upgraded their Shivers skill. However, doing stuff in the fishing village, from going on a date with the harpoon girl to tracking down what went on with the body on the boardwalk, gives you bonuses to the check, encouraging the character to perform the side quests and explore the bonus content. 

The game’s side content really does reward some more of the Dirk Gently type of character that sees connectivity in anything. The old lady reading outside the bookstore doesn’t have a missing husband only to later be the wife of the man who died on the boardwalk, or that a grounded character won’t walk out into the water to speak with the apparition of Dora as the mythical Dolores Dei (another great reference to what was lost, the lost wife seen as the lost mythic Moralist conqueror and crusader) means that the more grounded character does have the more grounded, less intense story. But the short length encourages replayability, and the idea that a grounded character has a more grounded story is in it’s own way a commitment to the game’s overall vision, even if it means you miss out on a key insight the first time around.

I’m incredibly impressed at how the developers stuck to their visions and the finished product that they developed. My hat is off to them.

Thanks for the question, Khef, the multiple Anon’s who reminded me, TBH, and everyone else who was looking forward to this essay.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Gina!

You have been accepted for the role of SEVERUS SNAPE with the faceclaim change of Aneurin Barnard! We really enjoyed Severus’ ambiguous motivations that might come back to bite him in the butt later on! Your personality section was on point and we’re looking forward to having the resent grump come back to the Order. We are so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Gina

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: MST-Arizona

ACTIVITY LEVEL: First and foremost, I’m a promotions producer at a local news station, so I’m on call if breaking news happens. Thankfully, for my job, doesn’t happen too often. Also, my boss is currently on maternity leave, but will be back mid-March. In the meantime, I’ve been given a lot of extra tasks that sometimes make me work 60 hour weeks. Luckily, The Academy Awards was one of our biggest nights with deadlines, news, etc., so things have somewhat calmed down. Thank goodness! Weekends are usually when I’m on the most. I’ll try to get on during the week – especially on my early days. All that being said, I’ll definitely will be able to post at least once a week! As long as writing is still fun, and doesn’t feel like a chore, I’ll be on the dash frequently (and I’m very good about keeping admins informed if there’s ever going to be an issue with activity check)!

ANYTHING ELSE: trigger: non-con.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Severus Snape

AGE: 21

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-Male, He/Him, Heterosexual.

BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin

ANY CHANGES: Request FC change: Aneurin Barnard. I can see Adam Driver work as well. Either way, I am comfortable - just happen to have more resources of Aneurin.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Generally, Severus is seen rather than heard.

The mind of Severus Snape is complex – to be sure. Filled with calculations, fragile threads of truths and lies he’s told and webbing them all together, and innovations for many different forms of magic. To keep all of these thoughts collected, Severus keeps a journal that he has heavily bound to keep secret. There, he states the deepest parts of his soul, creates new potions, spells, and whatever else he deems worthy. It is protected by a blood spell that only he knows the enchantment to. Like him, everything is kept very private and close to his chest.

While Severus has plenty of thoughts coursing through his brilliant mind, he does not initiate conversation. In fact, he says much more with his eyes. Even if they can be cold. However, this does not mean Severus will keep silent – nor is it out of shyness. When Snape graces others with his opinions or ideas, they should not be taken lightly. Every single word uttered has meaning.

Being around Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, he’s kept a keen eye – finding everyone’s tells and when it is best for him to speak his true sentiments. As well as this, if he feels provoked or given an opportunity to speak freely, he will not cower. Often, his retorts have a bite to them, thick with sarcasm or bitterness; or both.

Severus Snape is profound in potions – and dare we say even more skilled in the Dark Arts. Books were a comfort for him growing up, finding company with leather-bound pages and becoming well-versed in their contents. A strength he chooses not to boast about is his ability to create new spells, new magic, even. Most of these, however, were being saved to get a slight revenge over his old school enemies. And therein lies the rub. Snape’s insecurities are tightly bound to Hogwarts and being bullied – not to mention his inability to reveal his true feelings toward the one girl who showed him kindness all those years.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

A broken family. That was the home of Tobias Snape and Eileen Prince.

A Muggle father and a Pureblood mother. Such parents didn’t give Severus an opinion on blood purity – but rather if an individual could prove themselves. While his parents may have had married for love at some point, something shifted their feelings.

For Snape’s father, nothing seemed to please him. Except for, perhaps, a bottle of gin. This instilled a primal instinct for Severus to do better; be better. Strive for power.

As for Snape’s mother, she grew sickly and thin. Her grief taught him empathy. It also made him value any comfort; starving for any sort of love and affection. This was, most likely, the cause for Severus’ immediate interest in Lily Evans – and the roots of his near-obsession with her.

Both of his parents were unhappy, and let it affect both their home and their son. Living near-destitution, the Snape house was filled with hateful words, arguments, loud shattering of priceless heirlooms or objects, and other things that still haunt Severus to this day. When thinking back on his past, Severus prefers the memories of when they both neglected him altogether, rather than any other aspects of his upbringing.

OCCUPATION:

Potions Apprentice to Professor Slughorn.

Invaluable to the Dark Lord, the talents of Severus Snape brought him closer to his inner circle. For Voldemort, it also meant he could manipulate the young man’s talents to foil any plots that the Order may have against him. Knowing his passion for potions, Voldemort encouraged Snape to take on an apprenticeship with Professor Slughorn – while also peeking behind the curtain at Hogwarts and keeping an eye on the Headmaster.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

**I read the following note: “Severus will not be in the plotline until a player is accepted in his role. Him turning on the Death Eaters and coming to the Order as a spy will be considered a “roulette” plot drop whenever he becomes a taken character. Until that happens, players should write as though he is not yet in the Order.” AND he plot drops, *so I’m writing him as if he’s newly joined the Order at first as a DE spy, but now as a means to win Lily’s friendship back. 😊

Walking a thin line between hero and villain had never once crossed Severus’ mind. Yet, here he was. An Order member. At first, in a plot for the Dark Lord, carrying out the order to spy on the organization; find out how it could crumble. The young wizard had already grown steadily in their ranks, garnered enough trust, and was even listening to Voldemort’s other requests like his employment. All for the sake of war. It was a task daunting enough for anyone; however, Severus knew pretending to be an Order member would bring him closer to Lily. That, and potentially erase any suspicions Frank Longbottom might have if he thought he saw the Slytherin’s face during the arrest. At first, it was all an act.

Now, within the Order, Severus is a black sheep. Many of his childhood bullies are within their ranks, and many who distrust him. Although, with Severus’ lust for power, proving himself is nothing new to him. In fact, he thrives on it. No more fighting behind a mask…watching those he cares for nearly meet their end. An easy task to spy, being a great reader of both people and their minds. However, an overwhelmingly difficult task to want to continue fighting for something he didn’t believe in. Not that he believes in the Order either, but his lust for power has now been overcome with a desperate need to win an old friendship back. Perhaps to take Lily Evans far away from any wars as well, forgetting the two sides; no more choosing between what is right, and what is easy. Severus faces this new challenge, while fighting off those he once stood beside. For now, he’ll leave it to fate – if he’s able to win Lily’s friendship back. Maybe even try and win her heart as well.

SURVIVAL:

Severus Snape survives purely relying on his skills – and providing them to whichever side he feels is winning. It was part of the reason why he joined the Death Easters in the first place. Unfortunately for the Order, Snape believes the Dark Lord will win; that they will fall – and not rise from the ashes, as their namesake. A lust for power has blinded him most of all. But with it, he’s earned the trust of Voldemort, become invaluable. A faithful servant. Once the war s over, Severus believes he will be rewarded for his acts. At least, as long as he continues to do his bidding…

While with the Order, Severus has taken up housing in Hogwarts during the school year under his apprenticeship with Slughorn. During the summers, he’s found a small flat down near Hogsmeade to keep close enough. Beforehand, he often stayed with Lucius Malfoy in their incredibly large manor. It made it easy to stay near his comrades and to carry out any dark deeds.

Until there seems to be a clear winner, Severus will carry out his work as a spy. Even if it means slightly changing sides to do it as time goes on. The skills he carries with Occlumency are not to be trifled with. It seems he’s one of the few to have mastered such magic, making him the perfect soldier for espionage.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Severus’ relationship with Lily Evans was broken long ago. However, he will try and make peace with her, at the very least. If they rekindle their friendship, Severus would likely switch sides; happily die for her and prove himself. If it blossomed even more (something he fears even daydreaming about will jinx it), Severus would give up everything with the Dark Lord and his following. Everything with the Order. All to be with her – away from the rotting parts of the Wizarding World.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS:

Ships: Snape/Lily & Snape/Chemistry.

Anti-Ships: None

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Having gone through a very traumatic animalistic incident in his years at Hogwarts, Severus has a large bias against werewolves. The whole experience left a nasty memory for him, left in complete shock and disagreement with Dumbledore. And having Fenrir Greyback at the Dark Lord’s disposal certainly didn’t make matters any better.

There is one thing that will never chance for Severus Snape, and that is his hatred and bitterness towards certain Gryffindor boys he now has to work with in the Order. The thought alone makes his blood boil and skin crawl. Yet, he will do what he must for his cause…and maybe even throw in a snide remark or two every so often.

Muggleborns are something of a mystery to Snape now. When he first met Lily, he thought she was different from any other one – slumping the rest together with the likes of his father. Although seeing how fierce Dorcas has become – and so well integrated with the Wizarding World – Severus has gained a new understanding. Of course, he’s still untrusting, at first, and even a little cold; but, that doesn’t mean his mind cannot be changed.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Jess and I were talking because I’ve been itching to write again. She linked me to the RP, and there was a spark to my muse once more! Had to apply because I love the Wizarding World and exploring it. This is an interesting take on the Marauders era, in that it’s concentrating on one organization and its inner workings. I’m excited to explore that!

PLOT DROP IDEAS: 

There was a head cannon I had once read where Irma Prince is actually Severus’ mother in disguise. That might be something to play around with! Perhaps to prove his loyalties to the Dark Lord, he must eliminate his parents. Instead of this, Severus uses his connections to hide her as the librarian at Hogwarts and keep her safe.

ANYTHING ELSE? Super excited to be applying! 😊

[ladynuwanda]

The End of the World as We Know It - Part 1 (Michael LangdonXFemale Reader AU)

A/N: This is my first attempt at an AU, so I’m still a little unsure. But I liked it because it’s very different from everything I’ve ever done, and I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. Part 1 is mostly an introduction to this universe, but I hope you can enjoy it!

Warnings: None, I guess. Although there are mentions to some mental health issues that might be triggering for some of us. But that’s exactly why I didn’t ant to go too deep on the subject. It’s there, but I wanted to keep it light.

Word Count: 1,7K

“Do you know why you are here?”

I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help rolling my eyes a little at the question. This wasn’t my first time in a therapist’s office, although it was my first one-on-one session with Doctor Venable. I looked out the window, embarrassed by my own reaction. I knew it was cold outside, but you couldn’t tell it from inside Doctor Venable’s office. It wasn’t exactly cute and cosy, but it was nice enough, with elegant classic furniture. Very tidy, very neat, like Doctor Venable herself. Shades of purple seemed to be a theme in her office, as well as her life. You didn’t have to think much to figure out whose idea it was to make the wristband that carried our name-tags purple.

“I’m sorry for starting out with such an obvious question...”, she smiled with a small chuckle and lowered her eyes, “but I need to know just how far your understanding of the situation goes, if I want to help you.” Those beautiful brown eyes were burning into mine again, behind stylish prescription glasses. She had a gentle way of making you feel comfortable in her presence. The kind of therapist I’d want to be when I had my Psychology major. If I ever did.

“Yes...”, my voice was raspy for lack of use, so I cleared my throat, “I know why I’m here. You’re not gonna ask me to tell you about my mother, are you?”, I gave an awkward half-laugh and regretted my own silly joke almost immediately. My mother was probably the last thing I wanted to talk about now. I knew she was probably heartbroken by what I did, but I just couldn’t deal with it yet. “It’s only our first meeting, I’d rather get to know you better before being introduced to your family...”, she gave me a kind smile. She understood. She knew I wasn’t ready to talk about it. She wasn’t the kind of therapist that would give me a nod of fake understanding and ask me “and how does that make you feel?”, and I was grateful to her for being better than that.

The session was over before I even knew it, and it wasn’t half as bad as I had expected. I was heading back to the “common room” of Hawthorne Hospital, were I was expected to socialise with the other patients. The building had been a boarding school for boys, before being a hospital, so the corridors were wide, lined with tall glass windows. As far as a mental institutions go, I think it could be a lot worse, it wasn’t at all an unpleasant place. As usual, I sat next to Andre. It’s not that he was particularly friendly, in fact he hadn’t had a single interaction with anyone since he got to the hospital. Which made him my new best friend, of course. It’s not like anyone would go into a mental hospital with the intention of making friends, anyway.

But Coco and Gallant were friends. He was suffering from anorexia, and had a real breakdown when his grandmother found out that he was gay and kicked him out of the house. Coco was bulimic, tale as old as time, she started counting calories and grew obsessed with it, you add a pinch of body dysmorphia to it, and here she is. They obviously clicked right away. And they were always around Evie, an elderly patient with some sort of dementia. The poor lady could talk, in colourful details, about the Golden Age of Hollywood for hours, but couldn’t remember what flavour of jell-o she’d had for desert at lunch.

Those three had made a nice little family for themselves in the hospital, and I was happy for them. But I just couldn’t bring myself to follow their lead. I’d rather stay with my non-responsive friend, the only other patient who was around my age. His story was truly heartbreaking. He was the victim of a hate crime, his boyfriend was beaten to death right in front of his eyes, and he was probably gonna be next, if the police hadn’t arrived. After that he’d just closed in on himself, never speaking another word to anyone.

“You know you are supposed to use this time in the common room to make friends, exchange your experiences with your fellow patients...”, Nurse Mallory was standing beside our table, both hands on her hips in a mock scolding stance.

“I was just spending some quality time here with my friend Andre.”, I gave her my most angelic smile and she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Really? From where I was standing it was almost like you were using the poor man as a human shield...”

“It’s actually the other way around, I was the one shielding him... from her.” I shot a glance at Dinah Stevens across the room and Nurse Mallory followed my gaze.

Dinah Stevens was a minor celebrity, kind of a tv personality. She had a talk show on a local channel, or something. Apparently she had dropped her basket when her show was not renewed for another season. It was a full-on meltdown that included aggression against her crew members and a little bit of stalking at the channel’s new attraction, some former teacher named Cordelia. If Dinah Stevens was a regular citizen, she would probably be facing charges and doing some time in jail. Since she was rich, and somewhat famous, she had ended up here instead. Someone on her PR team had come up with the idea of her helping someone from inside the hospital, in order to improve her reputation. And she had adopted poor Andre as her “project”.

“Aren’t you little miss selfless... I guess you deserve a little treat, then.”, she winked and got something really small from the front pocket of her grey uniform and placed the tiny piece of chocolate in my hand.

“Mallory you’re an angel!”, I shoved the chocolate in my mouth and just let it melt on my tongue so it would last longer. Only then I remembered to look at my Andre, wondering if he’d want a bite, but as usual he didn’t even seem to notice I was there, “But, seriously, who else do you want me to make friends with? The Youngsters?”

That’s what we called Tim and Emily, the last two patients in Wing 3 of Hawthorne Hospital, the youngest of us. Tim was one of those perfect straight-A kids, but as he realised he was failing his SATs he had lost himself to substance abuse. Apparently Emily was here for that too, but in her case it was to run away from a messed up childhood. They were obviously in love, and they were absolutely adorable! Specially the way they seemed to think that no one else knew... Everyone pretended it was a secret. Their puppy-love was a beautiful thing to watch. It gave us all hope.

“So instead, you chose to stay here not talking to Andre...”

“And enjoying the magnificent soundtrack of the common room!”

“Tell me about it! Doctor Pfister and Doctor Nutter seem to think it’s relaxing...”

“Yeah but, come on, playing lyrics like ‘calling occupants of interplanetary craft’ in a mental hospital? You gotta admit that’s poor taste!”

“I do, but they own the place... they’re the bosses! Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to tell you...”

Really, bless Mallory for her snuck chocolates and good-hearted gossip! She was the only thing that made me feel slightly normal in this place. She took my mind from my own shame and guilt, and made me believe I could leave this place and live a normal life again. I was looking at her eyes through her thick glasses, waiting for her to serve the new tea.

“There’s a new patient in Wing 3, Doctor Mead’s bringing him in to the common room for the first time today...”, Doctor Mead was responsible for our group activities. She was the one trying to get us all to socialise and share our experiences, always with a new group-dynamics exercise, or just some plain physical exercise. She was very outdoorsy, Doctor Mead. I hated it about her. Although I did like the woman herself and her cheerful disposition.

“And what’s the deal with him?”

“Same as you, apparently...”

“Oh.”

So another failed suicide attempt. I was already feeling some sort of sympathy towards my new companion, before even meeting him. How could I not? He had wanted his life to end so bad, that he had attempted to do it with his own hands. Unsuccessfully. That’s something I could relate with a little too much. As we talked, the Carpenters song ended and the first notes to Patience&Prudence’s Tonight You Belong to Me began to play. I gave Mallory a side glance “Seriously! If you’re not crazy by the time you get in here, you’re definitely going to be by the time you leave...”, she laughed as the doors to the common room opened and we both looked to see who it was.

It was a tall young man, followed by Doctor Mead, walking in sure black Converse-clad steps, wearing a plain black t-shirt and a dark pair of jeans. His long blond hair was tied in a loose knot behind his head, and there were dark circles around his sharp blue eyes. Still he looked around at everyone in the room, like an eagle choosing his pray in mid-flight, both his hands behind his back. All my sympathy for him was gone the moment I saw him, simply because he didn’t seem to need any of that: He was so intimidating, I believe he would have actually been offended by it, he would tell me to shove my sympathy where the sun doesn’t shine. He seemed to be very much in charge of himself, and of everyone else, for that matter. The icy glint of his eyes fell on me and I gasped, probably rather loudly. I saw the shadow of a smug smile on his full lips before he turned his beautiful face away.

He spotted Tim and Emily in one corner and decided to join the, now terrified looking, young couple. When I came back to myself, I saw that even my friend Andre was staring, slightly open-mouthed, at the newcomer. I looked, round-eyed myself I bet, at Mallory and the sweet nurse gave me the closest thing to a pretentious smile she could muster “That’s Michael Langdon, your new buddy...”

My honey I know

With the dawn, that you will be gone

But tonight you belong to me

Just to little old me

Taglist: There are so many friends I wanna tag here, but I think I’d want to have their permission first... so if you feel like being tagged, just let me know!

[echodrops]

I just found your opinions about BNHA`s league of villain redemption possibilities and I agree 100%. I was wondering if you could do the same with the 8PoD? I know they will probably never appear again in the manga but idk, hypothetically speaking. You can make it general if you don't wanna go analysing one by one. Just ignore this if you don't feel like it or hate their guts. Bye! - @lovehatinganime

Let’s see if I remember them all. XDDD

Setsuno, Hojo, Tabe: For one-off villains who are not likely to appear again, they got a surprising amount of their backstories/motivations revealed, and they’re all suitably tragic–Tabe’s quirk resulted in him being ostracized, Setsuno’s suicide was prevented against his will, and Hojo was kept essentially as a slave until whoever had control of his realized he couldn’t profit off Hojo. Furthermore, they fought honorably with no tricks and even told their enemies that they shouldn’t leave Tamaki alone to fight three-on-one. They showed good team work, didn’t resort to any dirty tricks, and accepted their loss fairly. Their loyalty to each other and Chisaki is emphasized. A little respect from heroes and help getting back on their feet and these guys could probably make it back into everyday society. 9/10 redemption potential.

Rappa: If you can get past the fact that he wants to battle everyone he meets to the literal death, Rappa’s not so bad a guy. He doesn’t stand by Tengai’s cheap trick of shielding their team with the barrier, and he respects both Fat Gum and Kirishima as opponents. He fights fair and square and has a clearly defined set of morals, even if his morality is a little more blue and orange than black and white. All Rappa wants to do is fight to the greatest extent possible, and he’ll treat everyone who comes at him equally. He’s honest and helpful to Fat Gum, and helps get Kirishima patched up after their battle. Get this man an indestructible hero soulmate and he’ll be set for life. 7/10 redemption potential, 10/10 token evil teammate potential. Jesus Christ keep him away from Gigantomachia though.

Tengai: Yo forget this guy. Putting up a shield when your opponents don’t have one? Lammmeee. Trying to keep Rappa from spilling the beans about Chisaki? Lame. Being a yakuza when you’re clearly level-headed and responsible enough to get a real job? LAME. That said, he is loyal to his boss and practical in battle, which is a rare trait in the BNHA world. Would be useful to have on the heroes side–alas, probably too useful for the plot to ever let him get a redemption arc. I’d be careful sending this guy to prison–he’s a smart one; I feel like I’d trust him to coordinate my next prison break. Too bad his idea of teamwork boils down to “Obey my orders.” Most likely to end up bought off by another evil team somewhere down the road. 5/10 redemption potential.

Irinaka: Cute! The little angry plague doctor doll is cute! I want the League to get a mascot character… Too bad the little doll isn’t Irinaka’s real body, because his creepy disembodied face peeping on people from the ceiling is a big turn off. Too eager to help Overhaul and with too hasty of a temper, he’s a yappy little dog that bites your ankles and the owner just stands by acting like it’s your fault this whole thing is happening. He’s too cowardly to come out and fight himself, and resorting to drugs to make up for not being strong on his own is no good for any possibility of a future in heroics. 3/10 redemption potential, but if someone’s quirk got this guy permanently struck in the plague doctor doll, I’d pay money for one of the heroes to get saddled with an angry, shit-talking muppet for the rest of the series.

Deidoro: I… like… have no memory of this guy. He was in what… a grand total of five panels? But I just Googled him and good god, those soulless, bulging eyeballs, like someone slapped evil googly eyes on the abyss as it stares back at me… That’s gonna have to a hardddd pass from me! Don’t become alcoholics, kids, you’ll end up in the Japanese mafia! 4/10 redemption potential.

Rikiya: Tried to touch Nejire, the queen. Calls women bitches. Wears a codpiece. Absolutely no chance of redemption. 0/10.

Nemoto: You know who’s not getting a redemption arc? This guy! Why? ‘Cause he’s a dick! Forcing people to speak against their will? Dick move. Describing yourself as “special” and treating everyone else in the Precepts like they’re beneath you? Dick. Exploiting Mirio’s guilt over being unable to save Eri? Dickkkk. Taking away Mirio’s quirk? I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF, SIR. How did this guy avoid being killed off in the actual series by laser-guided karma? I’m calling bullshit. There’s being loyal, and then there’s just being obsessed, and this guy has definitely crossed the line twice. Do you think Chisaki knows that half the people in his organization follow him just ‘cause they want to jump his bones? This guy was a con artist before he joined the Yazuka, and since there are multiple people on the heroes’ side who can tell when someone is lying, I don’t buy into this “I became disenchanted by all the liars of the world” backstory. Not tragic enough–do not pass go, do not get collected by Chisaki. 0/10 redemption potential.

Chrono Trigger: You know how there are some villain characters who just look like they have “redemption arc” stamped on their forehead, by virtue of somehow being more lovingly drawn and given unnecessary personal touches like calling the other baddy by first name? Yeah, Chrono is That Guy™. Like, he’s a cold-hearted jerk, but he’s not THAT much of a cold-hearted jerk. Like, he’s the childhood friend, but he didn’t stop his friend from literally plotting to end the world. He’s more down to earth and realistic than Chisaki, thinking the dream of restoring the Underworld with the Yakuza is unrealistic, but he goes along with it anyway because fuck if he has anything better to do. He’s got the obsessive loyalty of the others but in a saner manner, and since he never does anything particularly evil directly–he’s stopped before he can permanently damage Aizawa–he comes across as relatively redeemable. Could probably be convinced to work with the heroes, if given sufficient motivation. 8/10 redemption potential, regardless of the fact that he hasn’t shown much of anything to deserve it.

Chisaki: Okay guys. LOOK. Imma be real honest here. Chisaki is a whole ass mood. Plague Doctor aesthetic? Mobster lingo? Old school Godfather vibes? Literally the coolest quirk in the series? No morality to speak of, zero Friendship Power, an utterly unsympathetic background for a villain? The most emotionally trying and best written battle in the series to date? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. It’s rare for me to cheer whole-heartedly for the heroes, but DAMN if Chisaki’s fight and defeat wasn’t a hell of a satisfying ride. As a villain, everything about Chisaki was done so goddamn well that I just ate it up like a kid in a candy store. Using his underlings like tools instead of fellow human beings? How evil! Mentally and physically torturing a beautiful sunshine child? HOW EVIL! Killing Nighteye? HoW eViL!! Overhaul was frightening and threatening from start to finish and hit every note exactly as a early-to-mid-series climax boss. A++ villain and A+++ arc. 99/10 villain of the year potential Tomura is the only 100 in this house.

…But you’re kidding yourself if you think this guy’s got even one ounce of good guy potential in him. Redemption actively RUNS from this man. For the pain he brought to Eri, Mirio, Deku, and everyone involved in the Yakuza raid, there’s no way in hell Kai Chisaki will ever be able to morally redeem himself, even if his hatred of Tomura leads him to give useful info to the heroes. -1,000,000/10 redemption potential.

[lightsaberwieldingdalek]

Big long list of all the fic stuff I’ve got, for @ruelukas22 ‘s perusal (or anyone else if they’re interested.

Fic I’ve got lots of notes on

* FFXV- Ardyn+Gil=Daughter. A SI fic of me keeping on dying. Also has afab Ardyn split between a culture where the first child inherits, and one where the first son inherits, and lots of Solhiem world building

* Avatar the last Airbender- Avatar Ty Lee. Lots of quick unhappy lives of the avatars till Ty Lee, granddaughter of an air refugee accidentally bends air.

* Naruto & MCU- Blotched Reincarnation. The Avengers are supposed to reincarnate in Naruto as the Rookie 13+kids, but something went horribly wrong, and now they’re all ghosts trying to parent these kids , because their actual parents aren’t doing a very good job, are they?

* Worm- Family Quest. Taylor Herbert does not have powers. What she does have is some very ... interesting relatives coming for Christmas.

* Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic- Many, Many Reasons Why The Endar Spire Is A Terrible Place To Work. Lisa is a pissed off semi-ex smuggler who’s serving on the Endar Spire, and nothing else.... Right?

* Batman- O Child of Gotham. An ordinary Gothamite teacher looks up a few things for her students, and stumbles across something far bigger than she knows.

* Bleach & Naruto- Urban Fantasy Kaguya. Kaguya has kept her sons hidden from their shinigami father for a long time, but his blood is starting to manifest in the twins.

* FFXV- Titan’s people. If all the other Astrals can patronise a people and place, why can’t this one.

* D&D- Amnesia D&D. In either a fantasy Au or with an actual d&d game, everyone wakes up completely mindwiped in a dungeon and have to work out who they are, what they can do, and why they were mindwiped.

* Naruto & Jurassic Park/World- Raptor Sakura. Sakura Harano, at 5 years old, ends up on the Dinosaur summoning contract. She then raises a pack of velociraptors.

* Naruto & Others- Infinite Loops style thing. Team 7 are bouncing from universe to universe trying to get home, waking up in other fandoms as other characters, and basically mucking about trying to get home.

* Naruto- Kaguya. Backstory of how Kaguya went from abandoned baby in a rice field, emperors concubine, pregnant woman on the run, and finally Goddess.

* Naruto- Mito Sensei. Mito Senju reincarnates, nearly gets taken into ROOT, and passes as boring, till Naruto is born as she becomes a teacher to take care of him. Then things get out of hand.

* Naruto- Seer Sakura. Sakura is a completely Done TM seer who is just trying to live, but the only way involves all these completely ridiculous people.

* Naruto- Zetsu is Best Uncle. Zetsu is mostly canon, but then sees the reincarnations of his nephews and decides that his Mum might like Grandkids to spoil. Things are surprising fluffy.

Things I only have the premise and a few sentences for

* Naruto & any fandom- Another Blotched Reincarnation. The same premise, but any other characters ending up as ghost-mentor.

* Mass Effect- Baby Prothian. The Beacon at the start of of Mass Effect 1 has a baby Prothian inside in suspended animation, and assigns Shepard as the new mum, plugging in required information to take care of a Prothian toddler at the same time as all the visions of destruction.

* Naruto- Happy Modern Sage Family. Fluffy AU where we follow adventures of the brothers Naruto and Sasuke, who are looked after by their old blind gran kayagua, and their sketchy uncle. Their dad is in a coma, and their other uncle works on the other side of the world but video chats sometimes.

* Harry Potter- Harry Potter’s got Voices in his head! Harry has a link to the afterlife in his head thanks to the killing curse, and gets raised by an eclectic collection of ghosts from all times and societies.

* Any Fandom- Horror is an outside Point of View. A story never from the point of view of the main character, who has travelled back in time to fix everything, and is a toddler showing impossible knowledge. It’s written like one of those “possessed child” horror movies.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 1. The entire crew of the Normandy travels back in time- to a time when the most of them are 5 years. Que bafflement when a bunch of kids, a Prothian being relentlessly flirted with by a teenage asari and a baby krogan corner a spectre and yell at him that he mustn’t listen to the squid-robots.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 2. Shepard time travels to the start of the game, and because of the conclusion of the games, is regarded by the enemies as a very small reaper. This makes the fights a lot easier but brings up some very awkward questions from her bosses. Also annoys some people on the citadel when none of the doors stay locked for her.

* Miraculous Ladybug & KHR or Game of thrones- tentative lining up the Miraculous with flame types and the gods of the seven.

* Naruto & Mass Effect- Hunting God Trees. The earth in Mess Effect is replaced with a post-canon Naruto world. They are appropriately ninja about how much info they give the Citadel council, and have been expected the return of Kaguyas species for over a century.

* Worm & Other Fandom- Queen Admin gets Adventurous. In either their death scene, or another do-or-die situation, a character from another fandom triggers with a power tailored (pun completely intended) to their situation, but still under the purview of Administration.

* Naruto & Other Fandom- Epic Sakura time. Just, an epic female character reincarnates as Sakura and kicks ass.

* Naruto & Dishonoured. Marked Sakura. During the Mission to Wave, Sakura is taken as a hostage/collateral/slave. She is then marked by the Outsider, fights her way out, and must hide her abilities from Konoha so she isn’t assumed to have a new bloodline and bred for it.

* Naruto- Sakura, Daughter of the Sage. Indra and Asura had a younger sister named Shashi. Zetsu killed her as an infant and kept doing so, keeping the remaining sibling out of balance and fighting. Due to the whole fourth dead and kyubi attack thing, he doesn’t find her as she’s being born- the only time he can track her- and the baby is named Sakura.

* Any Fandom- Urban Fantasy Police. an underfunded police station filled solely by supernatural beings -but none of them know that any of the others are non-human.

* Worm & Naruto- Shino cannot Flirt. Taylor Hebert, the big controller, has Shino ineptly trying to seduce her, and failing in hilarious ways.

* Naruto & Total Recall- How the hell do I have three separate ideas for this?! Naruto and/or Sasuke live in a near-future sort-of-dystopia, with a boring Job, like, I don’t know, Customer Service Rep. They see an ad for a memory implanting service called Total Recall. Go in and get a Fantasy package. This accidentally wakes up memories of being Hashirama/Madara and/or Asura/Indra, either as actual reincarnation or Brainwiped government super-soldiers. OR. Take the schwarzenegger movie, but instead tech implanting the false memories, its 1 or more of your preferred ninjas using genjutsu, dimensionally displaced by the power of backstory, and presumably also moonlighting as mob muscle. When Arnie freaks about the mind wiping, said ninja(s) restrain and get the whole story out of him. OR. Danzo gets in charge. He decides that the Uchiha and Uzumaki are too difficult to command. So, by the power of Sharigarm, he Wipes their memories and makes them think they were civilian Uchiha/Uzumaki bastards/kids of bastards who were taken to Konoha. He also get ROOT to “acquire” some actual ones from anywhere and messes with their heads too. He then proclaims that it is sad that that loyal shinobi and the traitor died fighting each other, and, Danzo then proclaims that to restore 2 of Konohas Greatest Clans, he has found as many descendants of them, and has instituted a plan to create a new generation of them(loyal to him of course). However many years later, a retired shinobi decides to teach the married couple of a Uchiha and an Uzumaki basic ninja skills till they can use that jutsu that temporarily sex-changes you so gay couples can have kids (because of course this blood obsessed culture will have that) So old shinobi is teaching married civilian Naruto and Sasuke. They accidentally break the mind wipe during “kai” training and get really, really pissed.

[khelinski]

Snow White Mondays

For whoever is reading this - if you have any talents at all, don’t give up on it. Harness it. Perfect it. Keep at it.

And share it.

Exactly ten years ago, Karii Lynn wrote this story. A year later, she shared it with me.

She’s been gone for two years now...but...her words live on.

This is a tough read, but it’s a great read.  She was a natural writer. I wish she had more time to write more.

💙💙💙

October 12, 2010

Snow White Mondays

By: Karii Lynn

She always visits me on Mondays. Or maybe Wednesdays? Sundays perhaps? I've no idea honestly. They might've changed the names of the weekdays for all I'm aware.

All I'm aware of is those bright days filled with long blonde hair and hazel eyes. Her beautiful voice telling me stories of useless everyday drama. Sometimes she'll even sing, though only loud enough for me to hear.

Every Monday she brings me a daisy. My namesake flower, so of course I’ve kept them all.

On these days I forget. I forget about the mirrors.

_______________________________

New York State Psychiatric Institute

Daisy Todd                                                                               Case No.: 446, 7058                                                                  

Admission Date: 10/12/15   Date of Birth: 9/7/1992

BACKGROUND INFORMATION: Ms. Todd was born in Chicago, Illinois. She currently resides in New York City.

Her father passed some years ago and the mother does not seem to want any contact. She does have a girlfriend who regularly visits.

Ms. Todd does not currently appear to be following a career path. Instead she seems to be selling artwork from her Bronx apartment.

_______________________________

It's Monday again.

Melody is here. My singing beauty. My snow white princess.

She tells me about her boss, Madian. She doesn't like him. He makes her eyes turn blue. I've decided I don't like him either.

When it's my turn to talk, I speak of leaves. It must be April by now, right? It's been winter for so long in my room. It’s so white in here. Sometimes I think I see snow falling from my whitewhite ceiling. I brush it off but it refuses to budge. Often, I try to push it into piles and organize it on the floor.

When I tell Melody this she smiles sadly. Then she kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

Another Monday gone. Now I'm left alone, alone with the reflections.

_______________________________

PREVIOUS MEDICAL HISTORY: Ms. Todd appears to have no previously noted medical conditions. She has never been to a counselor or therapist. The trigger for this change of behavior is unknown.

_______________________________

I miss painting. And drawing.

The canvas was always blank and waiting. Waiting for me to change it, influence it. And oh, the things I could do. I was wonderful, wasn't I?

"You always were so self-centered," Melody smirks playfully. Yes I'm sure I was. It's hard to remember days without snow. The snow and cold.

I don’t know what I might paint if I were even allowed. I’ve nearly forgotten color, something that was once so important to me. I believe first, I would paint my room yellow. Then, maybe I would paint a daisy. A painting of every daisy Melody has brought me on our Mondays.

They would be lovely works of art. Museum worthy no doubt.

"You’re so narcissistic! Do you remember what you used to say, baby? Remember? 'I'm just soo curious!' Personally, I think it was just an excuse to look at yourself longer," she says laughing softly. She’s having a good day.

A cold sweat breaks out over my face. Curiosity. It killed the cat. The cat, the cat. All dressed in black. The cat who looked in the mirror too long. The cat who discovered the secret on the other side. It took her on a horrible riderideride.

I can see them now. Melody helped me forget, but now. Ohgodohgod.

My eyes are closed. When I open them I find I'm under the bed, a safe place in my little ice igloo.

"Watch out, babydoll," I warnwarnwarn my Melody. Can't have her pretty face hurt by them. "Can't you see them?!" Their creeping, crawling, slithering.

My eyes are closed again. I'm lost, drowning in my fear. When I come around again, my arms are trapped to the bed. Trapped by white, ice tendrils.

Melody leaves me. One sad green eye covered by her hand. This is not entirely rare. The dark figures often get her before she leaves. I'm quite a bad hero.

Goodbye, Monday.

_______________________________

PRIOR TO THE INCIDENT: According to Melody Artem, the patient's girlfriend, Ms. Todd was displaying unusual behaviors about 6 months previously. Losing sleep, obsessing over insignificant things, and uncleanliness of her living space. Ms. Artem also described a serious obsession with mirrors.

Apparently Ms. Todd proceeded to smash all the mirrors in her apartment. Behind them, scribbles covered the walls. "Cannot have it", "leave me alone", and "not crazy" are among the various phrases.  

_______________________________

"If I should call you up, invest a dime, and you'd say you belong to me, and ease my mind..."

So happy together. My Melody and I. How she used to hold me tightly all the night through. Warmth, skin, and true love. My forever girl. That one that you can never live without.

The white maidens that the tuck me in say we're so adorable together. I think they watch us when Melody comes to see me on Mondays. Maybe that's why she sings so quietly? How very rude indeed.

Sometimes I remember what colors are like. On the outside. When I wasn't dangerous. That's what the maidens say at least. They say I cause the bruises on my dear Melody’s face. I beg to differ, but who shall listen to my frail vocals? Just because they can't see...

Anyway, color. The dates. Sweater dates were my favorite. October, of course. Walking the corn mazes pretending to be lost, donuts and cider in hand. Stopping for kisses and peeing in the dense spots, laughing all the while.

That ended of course. When I stopped eating and discovered what lay on the other side. Who watched when you thought you were alone. They can't take what you don't have, right? The smaller I was, the less there was to steal.

Melody wasn't happy, though. She didn't understand. She used to bake me lovely meals, absolutely delicious delights. My favorite food every day. Chickenchickenchicken. But I would turn my head away after a few bites. I had to. Really, I did. I wasn't trying to make her cry. I tell the maidens that every time they bring me my mashed potatoes. It wasn't my fault. Blame the darkdarkdark figures.

I try to tell her this on Monday. To apologize. But I get choked up on darkness and have to stay under the bed again. On the bright side, I had a nice visit with her feet.  Converse, I believe. I thank them for carrying her to me every Monday.

_______________________________

INCIDENT REPORT: Patient was found in her home by her girlfriend. Ms. Todd had broken every mirror in her home (there was an unusual amount considering the apartment size) and proceeded to harm herself. Clumps of her hair seemed to have been ripped out and it appeared to have been several days since her last meal. Garbage was plentiful and the apartment was a mess. Paint was splattered everywhere and most of her prized art work was in tattered ruins.

We are unsure of her intentions, logical or otherwise. Since arrival, Ms. Todd has displayed many psychotic symptoms including, but not limited to: muttering, hallucinations, disordered thinking, trouble concentrating, repetitive and regressive behaviors. Due to these factors, Ms. Todd has been unable to give us an accurate account of the cause of her actions and is being kept in a separate inpatient ward.

___________________________

I'm so very tired of white. Bored perhaps? I wish it were red in here. Red walls, red floors, red stars.

When I felt like getting out of bed one Tuesday (for it couldn't have been Monday, my Melody's chair was vacant.) I try to paint. I discovered once with my mirrors that there is paint hidden under my skin. How useful indeed. This way I shall never run out. Very good for my budget. I should tell Melody this secret, she can take it with her to economics class. What a hero she will be.

Unfortunately, the snow maidens do not like my painting. They bumbled about howling about the wounds. “How did she manage this?!” How indeed. Teethteethteeth. They stitched my paper skin back together though, thus stifling my masterpiece.  Oh the woes of an artist.

I am put on punishment. Forced to spend several days strapped to my snowbed by icicle handcuffs. How they make me cold.

Maybe I am dangerous? A danger to myself and to my dear, sweet, lovely girl. Why did I do that, I wonder blankly. As I watch from my straps, the janitor cleans my paint from the wall and I continue to wonder.

Maybe I am crazy. Psycho. Loonytoons. Bananacrackers.

But then the whispers come from beneath my bed, and I know that I'm not the one who cannot see properly. "Silly thoughts you're having, Daisy darling. Do you doubt?" I spend the next few Mondays convincing them of my belief. If I say the right things they won't touch me as much, my dark and painful lovers.

Oh, where is my Melody?

_______________________________

It didn't used to be like this. She used to be normal. I'm not sure what went wrong, what I did wrong.

We began dating my freshmen year, her junior. It was confusing and new, but we fit together so perfectly. There were rough patches, but nothing any normal teenage relationship doesn't go through. We were so in love, but I suppose even the strongest of love can’t save someone from themselves.

It was normal enough. We moved to New York two years ago. We decided to get separate apartments like we'd always planned. Though I would've been completely satisfied living together, Daisy had always liked her independence and space. So while I attended NY Medical College, she sold paintings, sketches, and anything art related from her home. I was often jealous of the easy life she led as I dragged my book bags up the stairs to her sixth floor apartment.

I noticed the changes about six months ago. I'm not sure what caused them. Did something happen she didn't tell me about?

The first sign was her refusal to eat normally. It started off with little things. First claiming to hate foods she'd previously liked. Then refusing to eat healthy amounts of what she would tolerate. Eventually, I don't think she was even eating five hundred calories a day.

I tried everything. I cooked, I brought takeout, I took her out. Nothing. I ordered, screamed, begged, and sobbed. Nothing. Daisy just turned away from my emotions and back to her paintings. She always said it wasn't her fault. What wasn't her fault?!

Then came the mirrors. It seemed like every time I visited there was a new one. Tacked up lopsided, leaning against a wall, and even on top of the refrigerator. Not only that, but her paintings began taking on a sinister theme. Twisted limbs and dark shadows seemed to reoccur the most.

Everything came crashing down the day I forced myself into the apartment. She hadn't been answering my calls all day, but I'd been unable to get over there until late because I had work. It had been almost three weeks since I'd been inside her home. She kept claiming to have some masterpiece she was working on that I couldn't see. I had reluctantly agreed to give her privacy.

That was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

When I arrived on October 11 and received no answer at the door, I got a spare key from the building manager and let myself in. The sight I met was horrifying.

Daisy was sitting in the middle of her studio apartment, naked and bleeding. She was surrounded by her blonde hair (stained pink by blood) and shards of mirror. Muttering about darkness and rocking, she continued to carve line after line into every inch of available skin. She didn't notice me. Since October 12, 2015, Daisy Todd has been a patient at the New York State Psychiatric Institute.

It's been 3 years. _______________________________

PROGNOSIS: Based on observations, Ms. Todd appears to suffer from Disorganized and Paranoid Schizophrenia. Hospitalization is recommended, but not required. Patient is being prescribed Clozapine, an antipsychotic.

_______________________________

My baby came back today. They haven't let her come since I tried to paint on the wall. (Silly Daisy, you're not a child. You should know better than to paint on the walls. Badbadbad.)

She holds my hand for a long while, a faraway look in her eye. Is she tired of our Mondays together?

"No, darling, I'm not. It's just..." She doesn't finish. I feel quite curious, maybe even worried. Doesn't she love me anymore?

"You know I do. I promised forever didn't I?" Her eyes are red. Were they that way when she arrived? I cannot remember.

My mind is spinning. Maybe she doesn't want my forever anymore. Someone else has come along, I'm sure of this. My baby darling dear.

I shake my head, trying to bump the silly thoughts outoutout. They make my Melody's eyes water. My onion-like thoughts.

I wish I were better. I just don't know how.

I'll try harder.

_______________________________

Daisy Todd                                                                               Case No.: 446, 7058   Date of Birth: 9/7/1992                                                               Admission Date: 10/12/15   Release Date: 4/7/19

_______________________________

It's Monday but it feels different. The door is still open and Melody is already inside.

The doctor comes in, the head wizard. His cheeks are red and his expression flustered. "I don't really think this is wise..."

"I've already signed the papers." Melody seems determined. I can't imagine what about. Maybe she's trying to get the maidens to paint my room a different color. Yellow perhaps? How pleased I would be.

Suddenly, my icicle handcuffs are gone, my feet are on the floor and Melody is wrapping a coat around my shoulders. A coat!

But that's not all! I'm leaving the igloo, out the door and into the...is that sun? Oh, sunlight indeed! The colors! It is spring after all! I survived the harsh winter.

"Yes you did, honey," Melody tells me rather tiredly. "We're going home now."

_______________________________

Home.

Such a simple word with such a grand meaning.

Here the walls are all different colors. I'm led through the kitchen. Royal blue. Shown the bathroom. Pumpkin orange. Introduced to the living room. Forest green. And last, our bedroom. Crayon yellow.

This is true love indeed.

I peek cautiously around every corner I'm shown. No mirrors. No shadow figures can get me here. Not really. Not quite.

Though I've spent many a Monday in bed, the first thing we do in our new home is sleep. Lying on the bed curled together, her nose pressed into my hospital hair, feels foreign yet familiar. Like a long, lost memory. You never forget how to ride a bike, you know. I suppose this is the same thing.

As I drift away, comforted by the arms locked around my waist and the warm breath on my shoulder, I can feel Melody shaking.

"You'll be okay, baby. Maybe not the same as before, but it'll work. I'll fix you. We never even have to leave this bed if you don't want to. Anything to make you happy and alright. Apple cider and donuts everyday if you like. We can paint all over the walls or watch every movie from the video store or read every book you’ve never read. Oh my poor darling, nothing matters except that you're back with me. In my arms, safe..."

Sobs wrack her body. I roll over and press my face into her neck. Squeezing tighter, I mutter softly how lovely yellow the room is and float into safe oblivion.

_______________________________

Home has rules:

1. Must take my white pill at proper times. 2. DO NOT SKIP TAKING IT. 3. Must eat my required three meals a day. 4. No mirrors may be purchased or brought into the apartment. 5. No bodily harm may be done to myself. 6. No putting myself down. 7. Privileges such as: driving, working, leaving the house, and painting must be earned. 8 All cleaning supplies and sharp utensils are to be kept locked away. No snooping. 9. Must call Melody immediately if anything happens while she's away. 10. Must attend therapy appointment weekly.

_______________________________

Melody has spent the first week home with me. She took work off. Oddly, I don't remember her having a job when I entered the snow world. But I don't mention this. I don't think I want to know the answer.

But today is the first day I'm to be left alone. Melody seems more nervous than I. Silly baby. She writes down her cell phone and pager number on four different sticky notes and posts them around the apartment, in case something happens and I can't get to one of the other three.

I laugh quietly and push her gently out, "I'll be fine, promisepromise." She runs her hands through her long hair several times, but eventually leaves.

I sit on the couch. And wait.

I wait for them to come. My painful lovers.

They don't. And I believe I might be safe.

_______________________________

Life goes on softly for several months. I eat leftover toast when I get up and paint for several hours after. I avoid looking in corners and focus on my work, the task at hand.

My paintings are different now. I no longer paint severed arms, legs and heads. Or the blood that flows so freely below the softsoft skin. I pretend that I don't want to paint the shadows. Instead, I paint trees, leaves, and oceans.

I do not paint snow.

In the evenings, Melody makes dinner, often refusing my help. I've never been any good at cooking. Or anything related to kitchens really. Even Koolaid is almost too complicated for me.

Afterwards, we watch TV and make deadpan jokes about the ridiculous shows. Melody writes medical reports and I read fantasy books. Sometimes I consider looking for jobs, but then the cold fear washes through me and I press deeper into my novel.

I don't want to go out there, especially by myself. I'd be so open to attack. All those...the shadows. The creeping bodies and reaching rough hands. I don't tell this to Melody.

Everything went smoothly for a while.

But it wasn't meant to last.

_______________________________

I am pacing. Anxiety racing through my body.

I've broken a rule. Two actually.

I've stopped taking the little white pill. Nine days now. It was making me sick, you see. Blocking the reality and my creativity.

Except that the shadows are back. Squeezing through the cracks of the doors, the windows, the closets.

That's the difference. They stay trapped on the other side of the mirror if you don't know they're there. But once you do, it releases them. Freed from their glass prisons, they creepcrawlscrape their way towards you.

Why? What did you do? You looked in the mirror too long, that's what. It's your own fault. You deserved this, you baddirtywhore.

I was only walking home, took the alley shortcut. Dirty. Pretty girl. Out they came. Handshandshands. Ruined my shirt, my skirt. Slut. How pretty I was that evening. Your fault. The mirror. Shouldn't have looked into the mirror for so long after. Vunerable. Beauty. They saw my soul, tried to have it. It's mineminemine. Go away.

Go away. away. away. away.

_______________________________

Daisy's acting strange. Sometimes, I think I hear her talking to herself. It's indistinct, but still. I've checked her pills, but she still seems to be taking them normally.

I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. I don't want to lose her again. I don't think I can bear spending every evening in that hospital again. Watching her deteriorate on that impersonal bed, in that impersonal room.

I'll call the doctor in the morning.

_______________________________

REPORT UPDATE: 12/21/19

Patient's girlfriend, Melody Artem reported recent unusual behavior. Ms. Todd seems to be withdrawing into herself and is displaying alarming signs. Talking to herself, depressing paintings, strange bruises and scratches, and weight loss. Patient appears to be continuing to take prescribed medicine.

Ms. Artem works long hours and cannot watch Ms. Todd constantly. The hospital is considering revoking Ms. Artem's custody rights if Ms. Todd becomes further unstable.  

_______________________________

I found a mirror. Hidden behind a photoframe in the hallway. I knew they were getting in somehow. Their doorway.

This time, I'll stop them. Stop the hands that touch.

I willwillwill.

Daisy the hero. Blood soaked beautiful hero.

_______________________________

It's been about three weeks now since Daisy started changing. I've tried to ignore it, but I can hear her chanting in the bathroom again. It's frightening.

"Daisy?" I'm knocking softy on the bathroom door, trying the keep the fear from my voice. "You alright, baby? Can I bring you anything?"

No answer.

I try the handle. Locked. Shit. _______________________________ I've stolen the mirror from behind the photo. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

Close. Red. Dark is creeping. Do you see it? Slipping beneath the door? The tub is filling up behind me. Black. The midnight beast. I ignore it, I'm on a mission.

SuperheroDaisy.

_______________________________

She's humming. Humming Spiderman. What the hells going on?!

Walking to the bedroom, I begin pulling open drawers, searching for the bathroom key. When I fail to locate it in my dresser, I turn to hers. Dread washes over me. I begin pulling open the drawers, removing shirts, socks, shorts.

A pile of pills hidden between her underwear. Her Clozapine. That explains alot. And beneath her sweatpants...

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

My head whips around. I choke on a scream.

"Pretty isn't it? I used to watch 'Snow White' constantly as a child. Sometimes I dream about the wishing well." She's smiling widely, no fear in her eyes, only triumph.

In her hand she's clutching the sharp remains of the only mirror in the whole apartment. It's covered in blood. Across her arms she's made long gashes. Her shirt is torn and the scars from before have been ripped open. Her bare legs are almost completely covered in red, pale skin nearly gone from view. Slices trace her facial features, almost artistically.

The most noticeable thing about my horrifying Daisy however, is the pride radiating off her in waves. She's proud of what she's done. More proud of this disaster than of any painting she's ever sold. Almost as if she's won something. That's the most frightening thing of all.

"Come on h-honey, let's go get you cleaned up," my voice is shaking uncontrollably.

She's shaking her head, frowning. "I'm fine, babydoll. All better. See?" She spreads her arms wide and spins, not seeming to notice the blood staining the carpet in the process. "I actually just wanted to lie down for a few minutes. Just a few. Please?"

"I..." What do I say? "After a shower, alright?"

I convince Daisy to bathe. She doesn't seem to notice the cuts or feel any pain from them.

Afterwards we lay down in bed. I'm shaking and scared, but this is still my Daisy and though she hurt herself, she won't hurt me. I'll take her back to the hospital in the morning; it's the only thing to do. There's no hope. But for now I just want to enjoy my last night with her. God, I love her so.

"Hold me?" Daisy's green eyes are pleading and scared. I do. Outside, snow begins to fall.

[sophiaholmes221b]

Sophia Holmes and the Blind Banker

Chapter Eight

Back at Baker Street, I bring John's picture up on my laptop and start cross-sectioning bits off. The other cyphers have all been in pairs - suggesting some kind of standard form to the code - so I do the same with these before printing them off.

Dad notes down the numerical value beside each symbol before handing them to John to pin up on the mirror. I stand a small distance away, trying to make sense of the cyphers that now cover up most of the chimney breast. There has to be some message that needs decoding but, until we know the code they're using, we don't stand a chance.

John sits down at the desk, his head in his hands as he nods off and dad joins my side, closing the book he used to translate the numbers and tossing it aside. "Always in pairs, John," dad muses, jerking John awake.

He blinks and turns around so he's looking at us, squinting against the light. "Hmm?"

"Numbers come with partners."

John ignores him, looking blankly around at the flat instead. "God, I need to sleep," he groans.

I feel wide awake, the adrenaline of steadily getting closer to finding the answer encouraging me onwards.

"Why did he paint it so near the tracks?"

"No idea," John says in reply, barely awake.

"Thousands of people pass by there every day."

"It's a wide audience," I say, "and not everybody who goes past will be able to translate the symbols. We thought it was graffiti at first, so anybody else would just presume that as well. Obviously the smugglers use that line for trading, so they'll be the ones the message is aimed; the only ones able to decode it."

"Of course," dad says in realisation, my comment triggering a new line of thought in his mind. "Of course! He wants information. He's trying to communicate with his people in the underworld. Whatever was stolen, he wants it back." I nod, glad that he gets what I was implying as he runs his finger across the symbols. "Somewhere here in the code."

"I can't see any lettering in there." I think for a moment, then frown. "Perhaps it's a book code." Dad looks to me and I continue. "It would be easy: the smugglers have a book they all use; something easy to pick up wherever they go. The cyphers come in pairs - so do book codes."

Dad nods and pulls three photos off the wall and heads towards the door. "We can't crack this without Soo Lin Yao."

"Oh, good!" John says sarcastically, sleepily getting up to follow.

***

I jump out of the cab as it pulls up to a stop on Trafalgar Square and we head straight for the museum. Andy is there to meet us as we arrive.

"Two men who travelled back from China were murdered, and their killer left them messages in the Hangzhou numerals," dad says, skipping the pleasantries.

"Soo Lin Yao's in danger. Now, that cypher - it was just the same pattern as the others," John continues. "He means to kill her as well."

"Have you even the slightest idea where she is?" I finish.

"Look, I've tried everywhere: um, friends, colleagues," he says, shrugging. "I-I don't know where she's gone. I mean, she could be a thousand miles away."

I walk away in exasperation, then my gaze falls to the teapots inside the glass case display. "Sherlock."

Dad turns, his eyes narrowing as he sees and joins me beside the case.

"What are you looking at?" John questions.

"Tell me more about those teapots," dad demands, pointing at the display.

"Th-the pots were her obsession," Andy begins, stuttering nervously. "Um, they need urgent work. If-if they dry out, then the clay can start to crumble. Apparently, you have to just keep making tea in them."

I nod my head in agreement, recalling the facts on the information sheet yesterday. "Yesterday, only one of those pots was shining," I tell him. "Now there are two."

"But that would mean she'd been here..." John says, his eyebrows furrowing as he turns around, expecting her to pop up from behind a case somewhere.

"And there's nobody else working on them?" I question, turning around to analyse Andy.

"N-no, she was the only one working on this particular project," he tells me. "She was the expert on the Chinese antiques coming in."

I nod, frowning. If one teapot appears on the shelf shiny the following day, then that means she comes here during the night. I look at my watch to check to time and bite my lip, unsure what to do.

"Show me where she worked," I say, straightening, and Andy starts leading us away. "How am I doing?" I ask dad quietly as we walk down the corridor.

"You're asking the right questions," he tells me and I smile with pride. That's as close to a compliment that I'm going to get now. "And you're thinking logically. You're getting better," he concludes, smiling down at me.

As we arrive in the room, Andy flicks the light on, illumination the large space. "Th-this was her desk," he explains, leading us over to one around the middle. "When she wasn't doing the demonstrations, she'd come here."

"So what are we doing now?" John questions as Andy leaves us.

Dad looks around at the desk. "Now, we wait."

***

I watch the clock tick past the hours, then as it approaches midnight, I nudge John's slumped figure "It's time," I say, watching dad slip out the door.

He sits up, and moves over into the corner whilst I stand up, checking around to make sure the coast is clear. We sit in the corner for about a minute, our breathing sounding loud in the empty room.

"Are you sure he knows what he's doing?" John asks me in a whisper.

"Probably not," I tell him, smiling. "He'll do what he always does: wing it and hope for the best."

John nods in the darkness and we fall silent as the shadow of a woman appears at the door, carrying one of the small clay teapots. We hold our breath as she slips inside, setting herself up at her desk. As she pours the tea into the teapot and then picks the lid, carefully stroking around the rim, the outline of a very familiar mass of curls appears at the door.

Unaware of this, Soo Lin continues her restoration of the pot, picking up the teapot pouring some of the hot liquid inside into a pair of cups on her desk as dad slips through the door. As she swishes the tea around to cover the edges of the pot, dad creeps up beside her.

"Fancy a biscuit with that?"

Soo Lin jumps, gasping with fright as she drops the teapot from her trembling fingers. Dad's reactions are quicker than hers and he squats down, catching the teapot before it his the floor.

"Centuries old," he says, looking up at her. "Don't wanna break that. "

He straightens up slowly, making sure not to startle her, and I rise from my hiding place as dad hands back the teapot. He flicks a switch on the desk, turning on the lights and illuminating their faces as John and I walk over.

"Hello," dad says, smiling slightly at her. I join dad's side and John arrives beside me. "Sherlock, by the way, Sherlock Holmes," he introduces himself. "This is my daughter -"

"Sophia Holmes," I say, extending a hand.

"Yes," dad continues, sending me a glare, "and this is my colleague John Watson." I notice he's corrected himself to what he said to Sebastian a few days ago.

"Why are you here?" she asks. "How did you find me?"

"We saw the cypher on the statue in the basement," I tell her. "There are several others dotted around London."

Soo Lin nods as dad pulls up a stool beside her. "You saw the cypher?" she questions. "Then you know he is coming for me."

"You've been clever to avoid him so far," dad praises her gently.

"I had to finish ... to finish this work," she explains, gesturing to the teapots. "It's only a matter of time. I know he will find me."

"Who is he?" dad questions. "Have you met him before?"

"When I was a girl, living back in China," she tells us, nodding. "I recognise his ... 'signature'."

"The cypher," dad puts in.

"Only he would do this," she continues. "Zhi Zhu."

My eyes narrow as I translate.

"Zhi Zhu?" John questions.

"The Spider," I tell him.

Soo Lin leans down, nimbly unlacing her plimsole and slipping it off to reveal a black tattoo of a lotus flower inside a circle on her heel. My eyes narrow even further as I recognise it.

"You know this mark?" she asks dad.

"Yes," dad confirms. "It's the mark of a Tong."

"Hmm?"

"Ancient crime syndicate based in China," dad explains and John nods his head in understanding, turning back to listen to Soo Lin.

"Every foot soldier bears the mark; everyone who hauls for them." I nod, seeing the obvious but unpredictable.

"'Hauls'?" John questions and she looks up at him. His eyes widen.

"Y-you mean you were a smuggler?"

She lowers her gaze in regret and slips her shoe back on to hide the brand which has owned her life. "I was fifteen," she begins. "My parents were dead. I had no livelihood; no way of surviving day to day except to work for the bosses."

"Who are they?" dad asks.

"They are called the Black Lotus," she says. "By the time I was sixteen, I was taking thousands of pounds' worth of drugs across the border into Hong Kong. But I managed to leave that life behind me. I came to England." She smiles slightly as a tear slips down her cheek. "They gave me a job here. Everything was good; a new life."

"Then he came looking for you," dad says, insensitively.

"Yes," she confirms, swallowing before continuing tearfully, "I had hoped after five years maybe they would have forgotten me, but they never really let you leave,"

I nod my understanding. I know how smuggling groups such as The Black Lotus operate: stay, or die - it's the only way they can ensure nobody turns them in.

"A small community like ours – they are never very far away." She lifts a hand to wipe the tears away. "He came to my flat. He asked me to help him to track down something that was stolen."

"And you've no idea what it was?" John questions, but she shakes her head.

"I refused to help."

"So you knew him well when you were living back in China?" John confirms, leaning forward.

Soo Lin nods sadly. "Oh yes," she looks up at dad, her eyes glittering with the pain. He's my brother." John straightens up in surprise and dad nods thoughtfully. I don't know what to think. "Two orphans," she continues, the tears still slipping down freely. "We had no choice. We could work for the Black Lotus, or starve on the streets like beggars," I nod as she pauses, encouraging her to continue. "My brother has become their puppet, in the power of the one they call Shan – the Black Lotus general. I turned my brother away. He said I had betrayed him. Next day I came to work and the cypher was waiting."

Dad takes the photographs from his jacket pocket and lays them down on the table. "Can you decipher these?" he asks softly.

Soo Lin leans forward, pointing to the number beside Sir William's portrait. "These are numbers."

"Yes, I know," dad says and Soo Lin points to another picture, one taken of a close up of the portrait.

"Here: the line across the man's eyes – it's the Chinese number one."

"And this one is fifteen," dad says, pointing to the first picture to show that we already know the numeral system. "But what's the code?"

"All the smugglers know it," she tells us. "It's based upon a book ..." I smile slightly, but my joy is short-lived as the lights go out around us. Soo Lin looks up in dread as dad stands up, glancing around sharply. "He's here. Zhi Zhu. He has found me."

Dad sprints off across the room as he hears something outside.

"Sh-Sherlock," John calls urgently. "Sherlock, wait!" Dad charges out of the room and John turns to Soo Lin, holding her as first priority as I fumble for my gun. "Come here," he says, holding his hand out and leading us across the room towards a cupboard. "Get in," he orders calmly. "Get in!"

She slips inside but I stay with my back against it, crouched down and pistol cocked. "The book which the smugglers use, what is it called?" I ask her, frantically.

"Sophie-" John begins, disapproving of me bringing this up now. It's unlikely that she'll get out alive. We need information.

"I-it's a book which everyone owns," she begins, her voice shaking as she looks around at the darkness. She swallows and tries to continue, but is silenced by the sound of gunfire.

John and I look up at the sound, then he turns to me. "I have to go and help," he says and I nod. "Stay here, and bolt the door after me."

He hurries off after the sound and Soo Lin's face fills with dread, her entire body paralysed with fear. It's futile to try and get any more information out of her now.

"It's alright," I say stiffly, reaching to tap her back. "I've got a gun." She looks up at me with a look of shock. Did I just suggest shooting her brother? Bit not good. I grimace, turning away. "Look, I'm sorry -

I'm cut off by another gunshot, closer to where we are. I jump up, my fingernails biting into my palms as I tense up. Another gunshot.

"I've got to go..." I say hesitantly, throwing her my pocket knife. She catches it and another tear glimmers down her face. It's either him or her.

I dart through across the room again to the door, my gun held down but ready for when 'The Spider' shows himself. I make my way out into the foyer and up around the stairs to the balcony when I hear more gunshots. My pace quickens as I look behind me, glancing around for any sign of Soo Lin's brother. A shadow flickers for a second in front of me and I dart forward into a display room.

I stop suddenly when I see him, his back currently turned as he stares through a glass case displaying numerous ancient skulls. Through the glass, I can see dad duck back, protecting himself from the gunfire.

"Careful!" dad calls, but the gunman fires again. "Some of those skulls are over two hundred thousand years old! Have a bit of respect!" I shake my head, smirking at how dad seems to hold the preservation of these skulls in higher regard than his own life.

Zhi Zhu stops firing, seeming to sense me. I hold my breath as he turns around, face unmasked, unlike our last encounter. He seems familiar, and I recognise him as Lee - the boy from the skate park.

I hold my stance as he stares at me, then he turns, heading out. Why's he retreating?

"Thank you!" dad calls sarcastically, but then senses that he's gone.

It's very unlikely that he's gone after John, so that must mean he's going...

"Oh my god!" I call softly and dad peaks through the glass of the case.

"Sophie?" dad hisses.

I ignore him and chase after Lee. He was trying to draw us out: now he knows that Soo Lin's alone, he can go after her.

My feet hit the ground in rhythm with my heart, though everything seems to be in slow motion. As I get to the top of the stairs, the door to the restoration room swings shut.

I curse as I take the stairs two at a time. She has a knife and instructions on how to use it, but will she act on them?

Already knowing the answer, I speed up. But it's too late. A single gunshot and a short cry, and then no more.

Highly unlikely that she managed to disarm him, and even more unlikely that she would be able to shoot him - both the moral and physical ability are lacking.

I hold my gun out, as I shoulder barge the door. As I swing into the room, I look around cautiously, checking for the gunman before cursing. I've let him slip through my fingers three times now.

I step into the room, still frantically looking around as I walk until the body of the young woman slumped up against a desk catches my eye. I rush forward, lowering my gun as I draw near and reach her arm for a pulse.

"Soo Lin?" I breathe, feeling her weak pulse. "Can you hear me?" Behind, John creeps into the room and I stand up. "Over here!" John tenses up at the sudden noise. "She's still alive!"

John sprints forward, shrugging off his coat as he reaches me and almost throwing himself onto the floor to listen. I stand there for a moment as he examines her, before drawing up, looking grave.

"Dead," he says as he looks at her body with guilt.

My eyes glance over her body to her hand and notice another origami flower lying in her upturned palm. I take it, looking it over before placing it back in her hand as the door opens again.

Dad turns the light on as he comes in and I walk around, checking for the exit Zhi Zhu must have taken. Finding a window, I race towards it, but he's out of range before I can even raise my gun.

Adrenaline pumping through me, I swing my legs over the side of the window and begin to plan my route down.

"Sophie," dad calls softly, and I turn around to face him. "He's gone."

I shake my head in denial as he helps me back through the window, my hands shaking too much for them to be much use. I've never liked heights.

"It's my fault," I spit out bitterly. "I should have stayed. I thought she would use the knife."

"Knife?" John questions.

"Inside left pocket," I mutter and he pulls it out. "Why are we like this?" I ask dad quietly, just so only he can hear me. "I should have known she wasn't going to use it before I left." My teeth clamp shut as I look to the floor in anger.

"Nobody blames you," dad says gently.

"The police are on their way," John says, lowering his phone, then nods to me. "You okay?"

I nod, more annoyed than upset.

***

It takes the police precisely five minutes and forty-five seconds to arrive with an Ambulance and all the flashing lights that go with them. As the police rush in, I begin to direct them towards the body, but a female clamps some handcuffs on me.

"What are you doing?" Dad demands, storming over to the woman.

She ignores him as she walks in front of me. "Sophia Holmes, I am arresting you on suspicion of murder. You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court, anything you do say may be given in evidence."

"This is ridiculous," dad spits.

"Mr Holmes, the child's guardian?" the woman questions, spinning around.

"Yes, he is," John replies, stepping forward. "What's going on?"

"It's fine, John," I say, then glare back at the woman. "It's just Scotland Yard screwing things up by jumping to conclusions as usual."

"I thought I'd made myself quite clear," the woman says. "She is being arrested on suspicion of murdering Ms Soo Lin Yao." She pulls the gun from my pocket. "Mr Watson mentioned that this young lady was the last to be seen with Ms Yao, and the victim was murdered with a gun. Here's the gun on the lady which was last seen with the victim. Need I say more?"

I stand still throughout this, not restraining or biting back at any of the things she listed because, currently, we are all carrying unlicensed guns. It wouldn't be sensible to take us all off the case while we wait for the ballistics to come through.

John looks around the room in fury as Soo Lin is carted away, whereas dad marches up to the DI. "I don't know what makes you think you can arrest my daughter on the grounds that she 'could have shot the victim'," dad says venomously, standing less than a meter away from her, "or even to presume that she was the one to do it when, according to the video footage on the CCTV cameras and an eyewitness account from me, she was in the upstairs gallery at the time of the murder."

"You can make your statement at the station when we bring you in for questioning," the woman tells him. "Besides, who shot the victim if it wasn't her? One of you?"

"Her brother," I say loudly from behind. "Soo Lin Yao was working for an international smuggling agency before she moved to England. He followed her here, needing her help with the absence of something one of their smugglers took, but when she denied, he threatened to kill her. He's just fulfilled his promise."

"Where was he supposed to go?" The female asks, turning around to look at me. "There's a drop of about twelve meters out of the closest window, and if you lot were supposedly outside, one would have thought you would have caught him. My kids could come up with a better excuse than that." She turns back to the others in the room. "Alright, we're done here," she calls, and a female officer steps forward to take me out.

I turn around slightly in time to see the DI talking to dad before the door shuts behind us and I'm led out of the building and into an awaiting police car.

[awkwardlyamusing-blog]

Tips For Playing Astral Chain

New Post has been published on http://doggietrainingclasses.com/tips-for-playing-astral-chain/

Tips For Playing Astral Chain

Protecting the last vestiges of humanity from an invasion of otherworldly beings is no cakewalk for the anime police persons of Switch exclusive Astral Chain. The protagonist has to juggle detective work, exploration, and an obsessive photography habit while managing a menagerie of leashed beasts, and the game doesn’t explain much about how to do it. A collection of helpful tips is definitely in order.

Fiddle With The Control Scheme

With the player controlling both their character and their tethered companion, Astral Chain has to allow them to do a whole hell of a lot of things with the Switch controller. Attacking, dodging, activating link attacks, using items, summoning Legions, activating a Legion’s special ability, taking selfies, performing chain jumps—it’s a lot. If you find yourself hitting the wrong buttons over and over again, as I did during my playthrough, wade into the game’s menu and change it up.

The default configuration had summoning a Legion mapped to the left trigger and activating their special ability with the left bumper. I can’t tell you how many times I mixed up those two. It ruined the flow of battle for me time and time again. Once I switched to control preset C, moving the Legion ability to the X button, it was smooth sailing.

The IRIS Is Your Friend

Hitting the plus button on your Switch controller brings up the IRIS, an augmented reality computer that covers the beautiful world of Astral Chain with a wealth of useful information. In the field it’s an invaluable tool for uncovering items and persons of interest. It’ll display side cases, which are optional missions that aren’t required to complete the game but are required if you want to S+ rank the game’s files. I also use the IRIS to poke about headquarters, seeing where everyone is without having to move around too much.

Use the IRIS during battle and it will display enemy health and type, making it essential for lengthier “when’s this thing gonna die?” boss fights. It’s the *counts Legions* sixth most important weapon in a player’s arsenal.

Manage Your Legions Well

The first five most important weapons in a player’s arsenal are their Legions, the beasts on the other end of the titular Astral Chain. By the end of the game, the player has access to five different Legions, each with its own unique powers. Knowing when to slash electronic connections with the Sword Legion’s special skill or activate remote switches with the Arrow Legion’s bow is easy, as is knowing when to move platforms with the Arm Legion, or when to ride the Beast Legion (all the damn time). But if you’re not spending gene codes to unlock your Legions’ talent trees and assigning special abilities, you aren’t getting the most out of your pets.

Along with enhancing their basic stats, the Legions’ talent trees unlock ability slots. As players progress through the game they collect ability codes, which can be fitted into a Legion’s ability slots. For example, the Self Destruct +600% ability triggers a shockwave when a Legion’s energy runs out, causing a massive amount of damage. Equipping the ability requires two free ability slots. The Attack Up 25% ability code increases damage done by both the Legion and the player. That powerful ability requires three slots to equip. The right ability code loadout can completely change how battles play out.

Keep Your Legions Clean

You can pet the Legion dog in Astral Chain. In fact, you can pet all of your Legions at the Legion maintenance station in headquarters, rubbing their head and limbs to clean off any red crystal corruption they’ve accumulated while out in the field.

What’s the benefit of Legion maintenance? There doesn’t seem to be one. As far as I can tell, it’s just a weird little mini-game with no real purpose. Still, I hate a dirty Legion.

You’re A Team, Fight As One

Fighting in Astral Chain is a cooperative affair. A player will not last long if they ignore the benefits of having an otherworldly beast at the other end of their astral tether. Get used to taking control of your Legions in the middle of battle. Circle tough enemies to tangle them in the chain, temporarily binding them. Position yourself and your Legion on either side of the path of a charging enemy to stop it in its tracks and then send it flying. Position your Legion in the path of several enemies and then zip towards it, damaging every baddie you pass along the way. And watch for the flash at the end of a combo that indicates an opportunity to perform a powerful sync attack.

It’s easy to lose track of advanced co-op techniques during the game, especially during missions where battles are few and far between. Don’t be afraid to take a trip down to the training center in headquarters to brush up on fighting mechanics if you feel like you’re losing your edge.

Talk To Everyone in Headquarters, Every Time

Almost every file (chapter) in Astral Chain gives your character a little free time to wander about the Neuron headquarters. Take that time to talk to the people. Every named character in the game has at least one unique thing to say during each file. Some have their own little storyline that plays out over the course of the game. Relationships between non-player characters can blossom in these in-between spaces. The more insight we gain into the people of Neuron, the more fleshed-out the game world feels.

Making the rounds also helps uncover side missions, which can be found just as often in HQ as out in the field. Plus, every new file scatters random helpful items about the four floors of the fortress, just waiting for an eager agent to snatch them up.

Don’t Forget To Upgrade Your Gear

While you’re making your way around HQ, don’t forget to stop by the tech room on the third floor to have Tabitha gussy up your equipment. Tabs can enhance the damage and stats of your character’s transforming X-Baton weapon as well as the Legatus, the device on your arm that helps control your Legions. Upgraded X-Batons do more damage. Upgraded Legatus … Legati? Legatuses? Those let you keep your Legions active longer without overheating.

Upgrading does cost credits and material codes, so be sure to rifle through every box and pick up every item you find on missions, and sell any scrap to Tabitha’s colleague, Ted. It’s what he’s there for.

Never Stop Searching For Stuff

The sprawling sectors of The Ark, the world’s last bastion of humanity, are filled with stuff to see, do, and collect. There are cats to adopt. There is toilet paper to collect. There are mini-game side missions involving carrying teetering towers of boxes or eating gigantic food items. Platinum Games packed this game to the brim with cool and bizarre things, and it’s up to you to find them.

Talk to civilians, even if you’re sure they have nothing to do with your main mission. Climb ladders. Wander into tunnels. Poke at dumpsters. Eavesdrop on conversations. Turn on the IRIS and see what you can see. I am not saying you should obsessively comb every inch of every area before moving on to your main mission objectives, but you totally should.

Take Pictures Of Everything

Astral Chain’s in-game camera isn’t just for cute selfies. It’s how players fill the in-game database with information on co-workers, significant civilians, and enemy creatures. It might seem counterintuitive to whip out a digital camera during battle, but you only have to do it once for every creature in the game, and there are only a whole lot of them.

Don’t forget to take pictures of each of your Legions. Then let your Legions take pictures of you. There’s a camera mode that snaps shots from your Legions’ point of view. I particularly enjoy taking photos from the perspective of the low-to-the-ground Beast Legion. Good boy.

Review Your Orders

The “orders” portion of the in-game menu is essentially an extensive achievement system that rewards players for accomplishing various goals. Doing a certain amount of damage with different weapons, completing side missions, upgrading each Legion, and many other activities will complete orders. Completed orders grant players rewards like rare codes, used for upgrades, as well as fun stuff like photo filters for the in-game camera, cosmetic gear, and color sets for customizing your character’s outfits.

I did not notice the orders menu until I was in the middle of the game’s fourth file, maybe a third of the way through the game. On one hand, I felt like an idiot for ignoring the obvious red exclamation point in the menu for so long. On the other hand, I suddenly had all the rewards to unwrap, all at once. As fun as that was, don’t be a Fahey. Look over the orders menu. Make note of what needs to be accomplished. Especially the orders that require you to take pictures of certain people or events, as I missed a few and had to replay files after I finished the game to catch up.

Don’t Worry About Missing Anything

Did the orders bit make you worry about missing things? Don’t worry too much. At any time during the game, you can go to the computer and select a previously completed file to revisit. You can then take care of any side missions you may have missed, snap photos of characters who might not be available in later files, and harvest any lingering collectibles.

Replaying also gives players aiming for an S+ rank for completing file objectives another chance to make the grade. It’s also a great way to fiddle about with the game’s higher (or lower) difficulty settings.

Have A Damn Good Time

Between its fast action, outstanding world-building, and killer style, Astral Chain has quickly become one of my favorite games on the Switch. Dive deep into it. Roll around in it. Let it work its way into your pores. Mmm, that’s the stuff.

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