#simon walker

[talesfromthecrypts]

Neil Newbon as Simon Walker 8/14/2013

[walkersbeloved]

hey this is for No Reason at all definitely but i think we gotta discuss .. idk any of the boys dealing w u being absolutely insatiable will Not get off his cock for anything even though he’s rly sensitive and losing brain cells by the second trying to bargain for a break

sighs. you hate me. i tried my best to think of smth for all of them, but if someone isn’t here it’s bc i just couldn’t OAJAAOAK.

rob: he has very good stamina, so if he’s begging for a break you’ve had to be going for hours now. truthfully he’ll probably just force you onto your back and off his cock and eat you out until he’s ready to go again. but he’ll definitely let you keep using him until he starts chafing and then he really has to stop and sate you some way else (probably with a dildo) (maybe you guys have one that’s a silicone copy of his)

simon: my little baby💔he loves going for hours like rob, but if it gets to be too much he’ll put on the cock sleeve he has and fuck u that way. he can’t feel much thru it and it protects him for getting too sensitive and is a well needed break. i think he’d be too embarrassed to even ask for a break—thinks it makes him look weak and will fully just lay there and let you keep going until he’s sobbing cuz it hurts. if he’s in a more dom headspace tho he’ll just punt you off like rob and make you hump his thigh.

seb: seb is honestly the type to fuck you into ur sore and chafed so this is a mutual kind of situation🫶🏻you’ve probably been going for awhile and u can feel ur cunt getting swollen and starting to hurt, but u don’t wanna stop. seb doesn’t even wanna push u away until he physically can’t handle it anymore and then he’ll just gently lift u off him and tell u to take a break nd u two can just cuddle for a bit (his dick looks like it got stung by a bee now)

luke: will probably just knock u off tbh OAJAOA he’s like “alright enough” ….i don’t think abt dom luke enough actually. ok…woaw…anyway. he’s just like “stop it that hurts” and huffs abt it. but if u start to cry he’ll crawl between ur legs and pleasure u that way.

ernst: poor thing doesn’t even know how to form words. it hurts so much and he’s so sensitive but it still feels so good :/ he’s so sweet he’ll just let you use him until he’s sobbing.

father anthony: he’s so sweet and nervous…he loves making love to you (he insists on calling it that) and he’s so used to slow and passionate that when you start getting a little rowdy it startles him. he doesn’t even know how to communicate that his dick hurts…he’s just stammering “sweetheart—love—erm i…i think i need a break…” while flushed at how needy ur being.

charlie: he’ll let you go for a long time before pushing you off. he’s not gonna complain abt it, but if it starts to hurt he’ll force u off and just pleasure u another way, teasing u abt how needy ur being and asking whats gotten into u.

mark: he likes when it hurts so i don’t think he’s going to make you stop. but if it really gets to be too much he’s just going to tell you to get off.

nikolai: i feel like he doesn’t get over sensitive honestly? i mean he’s dead technically i don’t think u can rlly hurt his dick much. so he’s GREAT to use in that way and he doesn’t mind at all. he strikes me as someone who doesn’t even need to get off rlly, he just likes watching u.

ur turn♥️

[aurorabiggs]

I feel like every time an Astarion fan discovers Neil's Simon Walker phase, an angel gets it's pack of cigarettes.

[gacktova]

[l4vishkiss]

if bad guy, why so dreamy?

[nobigneil]

"HA!"

[simonwalkerapologist]

Neil Newbon's Twitch Stream (June 3rd 2025)

[windowtotheabbey]

he's so handsome wtaf

[robertsugden]

[hyperchondriacsong]

Neil Newbon in Hollyoaks Later (2012)

[talesfromthecrypts]

Neil Newbon as Simon Walker in Hollyoaks (2012-2013)

[walkersbeloved]

hide me there, under the leaves

cw// grief

He was out. Free. Free to live his life again and move on, be with his family, and yet he was here, standing in front of a headstone he’d only ever seen through blurry pictures.

words: 2k

Brendan gazed down at the headstone before him, a bouquet of white lilies clutched in his hand. He could smell them, even from here, their sweet scent almost overpowering in the rain.

It was April 26, 2019. 6 years, one month, and 7 days since a train had zipped past him and changed his life forever. 6 years, one month, and 6 days since he felt the weight of his father fall on top of him, his sister standing behind him with a gun gripped tight in her hand. 6 years, one month, and 4 days since the door of a prison cell closed behind him.

It was a miracle, he thought, one last gift from God that he was here, walking free. Though many would probably just credit a really good lawyer.

He was out. Free. Free to live his life again and move on, be with his family, and yet he was here, standing in front of a headstone he’d only ever seen through blurry pictures.

Simon Walker Unknown DOB - March 19, 2013 Loving Brother.

Brendan smiled. Loving brother. It felt so small compared to what Simon Walker had actually been. There was so much more to write, to say, and yet none of it could actually be contained on the slab of granite before him.

It almost made his efforts feel like a failure.

“You want me to do what?” Cheryl asked from where she sat across from him.

Brendan closed his eyes, bracing himself for the outburst he knew was to come. “I want you to get him a headstone,” he repeated. “I’ll pay for it myself. I still have plenty of money. I buried him a few miles back from the tracks. You’ll know it when you see it, his bike’s still there.”

He waited for the onslaught of questions. “What do you mean you want me to get him a headstone? After everything he’s done?” “You buried him? Why? Why would you do that?” “Even after all this time, after everything he did, you still—“

“Okay,” Cheryl said quietly. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she was looking down at her nails, grown out and uncared for in the months since Brendan had gotten taken away. There were tears streaming down her face, just as there had been every time she visited him, but she didn’t look angry.

“Okay?” he repeated, stunned at how quickly she agreed, at the fact she even agreed at all.

She sighed shakely through her nose. “I don’t need to know why you want me to do it. If you want me to, I will. It’s the least I can do after everything.”

Brendan was quiet for a moment. “Thank you.”

It was a beautiful headstone. The kind of thing Cheryl was stupidly good at. The light grey color was darkened by the rain, little freckles of sediment throughout with simple swirls carved into the top corners.

In the middle sat a gold vase with a bunch of red roses, wilted from how long they’d been there. Brendan wasn’t sure why Cheryl insisted on using fresh flowers instead of fake.

He looked down at the lilies in his hand.

“What flowers were his favorite?” Cheryl asked and Brendan froze.

He hadn’t thought of that and he realized then that he didn’t know. He didn’t have a reason to know. He’d never gotten the chance to know.

Something unpleasant twisted in his gut at the thought of it. He could see Simon in his head, bouquet in his hand as he smiled.

Brendan would have gotten him as many bouquets as he wanted.

“Oh. I’m not…I’m not sure,” he whispered. “Never came up.”

Cheryl looked at him closely, sensing his discomfort with the subject, and grabbed his hand in hers. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I’ll pick something out, yeah?”

Brendan felt shame rush through him. “You don’t have to do this, Chez. It’s only if you’re passing by, you know, I know it’s far away and I know that he wasn’t exactly—“

“It’s fine, Brendan,” Cheryl interrupted. “I’m doing it for you, okay?”

“Why?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Because you love him,” she whispered. She was crying again, but her smile was soft.

Brendan instinctively flinched away from the accusation. “I love Steven,” he said, refusing to look her in the eyes. He did love Steven. More than anything.

‘Then why haven’t you let him visit you?’ a little voice in his head sneered at him. He pushed it away, guilt blooming in his chest.

“You can love both of them,” she said tearfully. “It’s okay to love both of them. It just means that you’re human.”

“I…I killed him.” He shook his head, hating how choked up he sounded.

Cheryl grabbed his hands tight and forced him to look at her. “When you love someone, you do what’s best for them.”

“How was that what was best for him?” Brendan demanded. “I didn’t even—I wasn’t even thinking about it, I just—I just—“

“He wasn’t okay, Brendan,” Cheryl said. “He was sick and he wasn’t going to get better. He was too far gone, alright? You did the right thing.”

“Why don’t you hate me? Why don’t you hate me for loving him?” he choked out.

Cheryl smiled through her tears. “Because he was easy to love. He was there with you when no one else was. I hated him, Brendan, I hated him so much, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew from the first moment I saw you talking to him that he meant more to you than maybe even you realized.”

“Does it matter?” he laughed bitterly. “It wasn’t even real. Not for him.”

“Brendan—“

“We fucked you know. In that hotel at Southport. After you…” he trailed off, but Cheryl knew anyway. “It all happened so fast. All I remember thinking was that…he wanted me. Someone like him wanted me. And afterwards I felt happy. So happy. And on the beach, at the holiday home, we talked. I told him about what…what Da had done to me. He was the first person I’d ever told. I thought he might have loved me too.”

Cheryl was sobbing now, the way his baby sister had always done, ugly and raw. “I’m sorry, Bren. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

She shook her head, tissue clutched tight in her hand. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

“I hope you like lilies,” Brendan said, sinking down to his knees in the mud. He changed the flowers from the vase carefully, adjusting them until they looked right. “You’re probably looking down on me and laughing right now, aren’t you?”

He shook his head. “Or maybe you’re angry, I don’t know. I never know anymore with you, Simon. I think I stopped knowing what you were thinking a long time ago.”

The lilies looked striking in the gold vase, their green centers complimenting the color well.

“It’s symbolic, you know,” he snorted. “Stupid—I uh…I looked it up online. It said they’re supposed to represent a return to innocence after death or whatnot. I don’t know, I guess I just thought it might be fitting.” He frowned. “I hope you’re better up there, Simon. I hope that you found peace.”

Even Lucifer can be forgiven.

“I hate you, you know,” he whispered. “I hate you for making me love you. I hate that your stupid plan worked. Walked right into your trap, didn’t I?” he chuckled. “Love has always been my weakness, as much as I’d like to think it’s not. You knew that better than anyone in the end.”

Brendan wiped away a few stray tears frantically. He was just blabbering now. “You’ll be happy to know just how much your stupid plan worked, even now. I’m supposed to be with Steven right now, but I can’t bare it. It could hide from it in prison, what I felt for you, but out here, when Steven’s so close to me now, I can’t even look at him without thinking about it.”

His fingers dug into the wet soil beneath him, ripping up blades of grass. “I still love you. I thought it would go away the longer I was behind bars, that my resentment would only grow the more I was in there, but I don’t know…I still felt the same stupid jump in my heart every time I thought of you, even now. And I hate that I wish you were still here, I hate that I wish I got to kiss you one last time. I never savored them when you were alive, didn’t think I had to. But now that you’re gone…I can’t even remember when it felt like to kiss you.”

Brendan trailed off, feeling nauseous as his ears burned. “I really want to kiss you right now.” He scoffed at himself. “I should be kissing Steven, God—what did you do to me? What did you do to me that I can’t stop thinking about you? That I can’t let you go?”

He looked at the dirt beneath him. He could still remember when it was a lump he’d haphazardly shoveled on top of Simon’s body. “Is it horrible that I’m thinking about crawling in there with you now?” He laughed suddenly, taken off guard by his own words. “Fuck. Look at me. I’m so fucked up.”

Brendan’s phone rang then, muffled by the sound of the rain and the fabric of his jeans. He fished it out slowly. He knew it would be Cheryl.

“Hey, Chez,” he said quietly.

“Bren, where are you?” she asked and he could hear soft music in the background. “Steven and I have been waiting for an hour now. I put a lot of work into this party, you know.”

He fought the urge to sigh. “I’m uh…yeah…yeah, sorry. I just had something I had to do first.”

Cheryl’s voice dropped to a whisper then. “Brendan, where are you?”

“Where do you think?”

“Bren…”

“Don’t, Chez, just—don’t alright?” he pleaded. “I just wanted to see it in person. You did good. It looks…good.”

“Do you want to talk about it, love?” she asked.

Brendan shook his head before he remembered that she couldn’t see him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t want you to think less of me. Well, more than you already do.”

“Stop that, Brendan,” Cheryl chastised him. He could hear the sound of a door closing in the background. She must have gone into another room away from Ste. “I don’t think less of you for this, you know that.”

“I’m currently at the grave sight of the other man I love, who is the reason I went to prison, instead of at home with you and my gay lover. I think maybe you’re allowed to think less of me for this, Chez.”

He was being stubborn, he knew, trying to destroy a good thing out of embarrassment, but his mouth wouldn’t stop running no matter how hard he tried.

Cheryl sighed heavily on the other end. “Brendan, it’s more complicated than that. It’s okay, really—“

“And what do you think Steven would do if he found out? Hm?” he asked. “There’s a reason neither of us have told him where I am right now, a reason you’re currently hiding from him.”

She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. “He doesn’t have to know, Brendan. Don’t do this, please. Not today. We just want to spend time with you, alright?”

Brendan knew that she was right. “Alright,” he nodded. “I’ll be home in a little.”

“We’ll be here, Bren,” she said before ending the call with a click.

He slumped down and looked again at Simon’s grave. “Duty calls,” he said, groaning as he got to his feet. He reached forward to run his fingers along the stone, it was wet and smooth beneath his touch. “I’ll see you later, Simon.”

There was a short pause as Brendan read the words on his headstone for the millionth time that day.

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

[levstat]

more neil edits more neil edits!!!

[gacktova]

[silkreve]

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