#sj: why is everything going well. this is not normal

[pretend-i-don-t-exist]

qijiuyuan but with sy and sj swapping bodies

it's going to be so horrible at first but it could go well after a while

sj is ofc the qing jing peak lord. sy is a qing jing teacher. they do not get along well

so now envision: sy who accidentally improves sj's reputation bc he's sy and utterly shite at acting like he does not care and also bc he will feel horribly guilty if he has to insult someone and just switches it to a compliment mid-sentence. everyone is so confused and tries to check sqq for possession. it shows that sqq is fine maybe a bit high on a cultivation breakthrough but he's gonna be fine

and: sj who desperately wanted to ruin sy's reputation by acting like a bitch but he's very weirded out by how everyone acts so nice and friendly to sy. he tries to act kind. this will go wrong, he thinks. every time he tries to choose good, to act kind, it just leads to his detriment. except. his kindness gets rewarded bc people like sy and they don't think the worst of him... and sj hates it bc it's unfair but he also can't just give it up

where does yqy fall in this? he's vibing in the bg fully aware that sy and sj swapped bodies and is covering up for them and enjoying sj's tentative kindness in sy's body and also liking the way the other peak lords appreciate sj more during meeting... then feeling horribly guilty for taking advantage of sj's predicament and sy himself... then it all comes crashing down

anyway this all ends with qijiuyuan swapping bodies every now and then to fuck with cang qiong as a whole

[afsosville]

Time to over-analyze things with limited canonical information just because. Here are some of the reasons why Qing Jing may have been a hindrance to Shen Jiu's emotional development and solidified his corruption arc>>

Qing Jing was like the perfect peak to let all his mental wounds fester if you think about it.

Shen Jiu acting like nobility or an educated young master (as most disciples of Qing Jing are) is purely a coping mechanism. It literally screams masking! While the exact circumstances of how he got chosen for Qing Jing is unknown, we can assume he didn't have a choice since most disciples typically just follow their new master to wherever they take them from the selection grounds (with the exception of Bai Zhan lol). He was most likely hoisted onto the Qing Jing peak lord, as no master would've wanted him because of his fucked up meridians and late age. They acquiesced to take him anyway coz of Yue Qingyuan's/the sect leader's insistance. And because it's Shen Jiu, he would naturally do whatever it took to get to the top, and if he started acting like the very sort of people he hates, then so be it.

You can imagine how disastrous imitating his abusers is going to be (he's imitating noblemen in general, but he's definitely taking the Qiu's as a primary example). Shen Jiu clearly is trying to remove and forget everything about his past, and even accepts the rumours of him being a spoiled young master to cast away suspicion. He is coping hard. Not to mention, he was named QingQIU when he became Qing Jing's succeeding disciple. Listen I don't care if it was a bad coincidence or not but that doesn't endear me to Shen Jiu's shizun in the slightest (I'm only talking abt SJ's shizun in canon, not fics, the fics are great. But it's more than likely that SJ's shizun was negligent or abusive as well. Here's why I think that). Between all of this, there's no way he's processing any of that trauma when he's constantly forced to remember all of it. No wonder he slipped into the abuser role easily since he's literally out here actually being made to copy their behavior.

Qing Jing and even the rest of Cang Qiong were always hostile to Shen Jiu, even in his discipleship. These ppl went out of their way to run interventions on Shen Jiu when he's minding his own business. Yes I'm talking abt the whole brothel thing. There were doubtlessly so many disciples who went for the very reasons Shen Jiu was assumed of going for, so why is he the only one getting shit for it? Not only was going to brothels not even a crime worthy of conviction, it was even normalized to an extent. And it would've been so easy to figure out if he really was going for anything "lecherous" by just asking the women there. The fact that, that whole ordeal was never cleared up just shows they didn't actually care about the women or what he was supposedly doing to them. They only cared because it was Shen Jiu who was involved.

Shen Jiu being on any other peak would change things for sure even if it's marginally. Its probably just wistful thinking, but I know at least half of those peaks, even the fanon ones, would be better than Qing Jing at any rate. Again, Shen Jiu would claw his way up and try to succeed any way he can, so if he were put on another peak that would be a somewhat healthy environment for him, he would do well, regardless of the peak. Him doing well on Qing Jing doesn't mean anything other than showing off his awesome(horrible and problematic) coping skills. So really, I can't help but think Qing Jing wasn't a good fit for him, especially with Shen Jiu's specific brand of trauma.

I did a pole once asking if Shen Jiu would've done better on another peak, or if they were just curious to see him anywhere else, and I'm not surprised that the most voted for peak was Yin Hui, the fanon peak for espionage and assassins. Now I'm going to go another tangent why Yin Hui would be good for him later.

[danmeiconfession]

My thoughts/rants aren't very coherent so just take it as me rambling instead lol .

 Although sj's treatment of lbh was awful, lbh is still sj's direct disciple and the matter of his discipline rests on sj, so it's awkward for outsiders to interfere. it's not right but hey neither is slavery or child marriage so them's the works.

LBH was free to leave Qing Jing Peak at any time - but perhaps not in his own mind. This is interesting bc imo him and sj never had a relationship where sj was gaslighting lbh into staying. in fact i'd say sj made it plenty clear he found lbh to be an eyesore but maybe in those years sj had some intermittent spots of mercy lbh latched onto and then just never gave up hope.

Unless, Well looking at SV canon and how the system didn't penalize sy for the medicine + carriage ride after sy explained his thought process, it wouldn't surprise me if those types of events happened with sj and lbg. if sj had to bring lbh out on a night hunt he prolly made sure lbh was patched up + looked presentable so he didn't ruin the cohesive aesthetic of his peak haha and well NYY is always a weak point. these things definitely wasn't usual but likely happened often -enough- for lbh to get his hopes up over and over .

As modern people, we of course abhor the way that LBH was treated and SQQ comes off as abusive and a slimy lecher. But by the standards of his own age, everything he's done is perfectly acceptable. In traditional Chinese philosophy, the teacher is like a father, and a father and a teacher can do whatever they want to their child / pupil. Even in modern China, teachers have been known to get away with beating their pupils. In the UK (where I'm from), it wasn't so long ago that teachers could cane their students and no one blinked an eye about parents beating their kids. Slavery, child marriage, selling your wife or daughter into prostitution, all of that was totally legal in ancient China.

I always thought it was strange that OG LBH fixated so much on SQQ that he tortured him so horribly, but there's no mention of him doing the same to everyone else who ever wronged him, no matter how small. I think being pushed into the Abyss the last straw but I also think the reason he so hard-wired to think of his Shizun as this unfeeling man and tortured him limbless is because He got rejected so many women like him but the one man he chased relentlessly for years for his eyes to even graze him he look the other way which is why I think his eye got taken out ?

After the loss of his mother, lbh expected to find a new family in qjp and a new parental figure in sj. The greater the expectation the greater the disappointment. obv jiumei is not in the right condition to play mother hen to anybody. | ಠ ∧ ಠ | but lil bingbing didn't know that and arguably maybe he understood his foster mother was treated bad bc she was a servant but he couldn't understand why sqq, an immortal cultivator, is so hellbent on bullying some unknown kid.

Also, why does it bug Binghe that much? Why was it brought up against SJ during his trial in Proud Immortal Demon Way? Maybe it's just critical research failure on Airplane's part, but in ancient China, visiting prostitutes was completely normal. Men could have multiples wives and concubines and sleep with their servants and go around to the local brothel. Visiting a prostitute was just a leisure activity.Like, t says something about Binghe's obsession with SQQ in PIDW that he's fixated on SQQ's alleged bedroom habits?

Of course we modern people and Luo Binghe have a right to be mad, but justice in ancient xianxia China is... putting it lightly, biased... This is a world that shrugs off almost any crime if your position is high enough.

100% LBH is right to be upset, but the problems run much deeper than SQQ, their whole world is rotten. Him being mad about SQQ yeeting him is kind of confusing, he's legit to be hurt about it but any Cultivator would have killed LBH on sight when he was revealed to be a demon, and a heavenly one at that.

Which is why i'm forgiving with Shen Jiu because why judge him from a lens from the modern viewpoint because on top of the shitty things that happened to his life him being an abusive teacher isn't really so damning when the entire Cultivation worls is corrupt??? In a way the original PIDW was a hypocritical abuse apologism story with the mentality that any abuse against the protag was unjust and wrong and any abuse he committed whether disproportionate or targeted at people who never did anything to him was righteous or deserved was a criticism of the stallion protags and that it was never equal to begin with Shen jiu never deserved such torture they were never on equal footings to begin with. Yeah, he was vicious but it hypocritical. I never took Shen Yuan being with Binghe as a reward but a punishment for being such a troll and idol-obsessed that he ended up with Bingmei dude. Sorry if ending up with a mentally ill man and one who sa him and only cared for his own needs during the act with no regard for their partner and i'm breaking yall illusion with this toxic ship.

Considering what went down with LQG and SJ when they where disciples it does seem like there is a lot of bullying. If PIDW is like other Xianxia novels, or even historical dramas then there is probably a lot of underhanded sabotage by students against one another. Many cultivation novels with sects have kids fight over food and resources and if you can't cut it then you leave or you languish. A peak like SQQs may well have such things as part of their education because it's a strategist and scholarly peak, any student who couldn't figure out how to sabotage rivals, curry favor with the right people, manipulate, info gather, and navigate dangerous political situations on top of doing well in normal studies wouldn't fair well in such a place. - I doubt this to be the case in canon as SQQ is supposed to be a scum villain but its fascinating to speculate.

In a way Binghe is weird he thinks more in terms of a modern person I guess in a meta way? Because... He isn't special .It always strikes me as funny that LBH apparently like, idk, despite also being native to the culture is upset by it? as if he wanted more from specifically from SQQ? bc he wanted SQQ to find him special? meta hand-of-god type stuff where LBH accidentally has a more modern attitude bc of the way he was written?

Hell, his 300 wives scream self-enforced heterosexuality. like some DEEP repression and distraction.Ur telling me this guy fought more powerful sect masters, demon lords, survived assassinations but the mean teacher deserved prolonged torment.

If only Shen jiu played up the role as a mother things wouldn't have escalated lol. Freud should study Binghe though cause damn his mother issues run deep. His father though he doesnt give a damn and is detached from him but when it comes about the jade pendant youre basically finished. feeling the hots for ssq was part of the mommy issues lbh had lmao

.

[megalony]

Bound To Her

This is a Jonah Hauer-King imagine, requested by Nina, I hope you like it lovely, thank you for the amazing request and lovely feedback.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

@jonahhauer-kingg @melaninjoys​ @luna2034 @mystiqueprincess @fangirl-tothemax @musicistheway @wandamaximoffbae

Masterlist

Summary: Jonah is broken when (Y/n) needs to take a break from their relationship and he has to find out why. He can't survive without her. (Little bit of angst and fluff to make up for it in the end)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear God, how long have you been here?" Something akin to fear shook through Alex's voice when his eyes set upon one of his oldest friends.

Jonah did not look good.

The colour beneath his eyes was a dark shade of purple like wild berries with streaks of red slashing through. He couldn't keep either of his eyes open fully, they were half lidded and drooping down, raged with lack of sleep and too much alcohol. Jonah's complexion wasn't much better, his pale skin was verging on grey and his usually bright crimson lips were a faded shade of pink with white cracks slitting through them that disappeared when enough alcohol coated his lips.

Compared to normal, sitting here at the bar, Jonah didn't look his usual height. He looked like he would barely scrape five foot five with the way his back was arched, his shoulders were hunched and his long legs were hidden beneath the bar.

Both his hands were cradling an empty shot glass and the pad of his fingers were running around the rim, caressing it gently.

"A while,"

"Well I could guess that. Come on, I think you've had more than enough."

He didn't know what he had signed up for when he agreed to pick Jonah up from the bar. He thought he would just be ferrying his tipsy friend home and making sure he actually got through the front door in one piece. Now he could see Jonah, he knew that wasn't going to be the case.

How could Alex take him home and leave him alone like this? what if he tripped going up or down the stairs or fell and hurt himself? What if he passed out or threw up and couldn't look after himself?

"Do you wanna come stay at mine for the night?"

"I want (Y/n)," Her name rolled off the tongue like it was meant to be spoken by his lips only. It was so natural and free and loving and just her name made Jonah's eyes water and turned his world on its axis when he stood up.

He could hear the sigh that Alex let out before he felt his friend wrap an arm around his torso to keep him upright when it looked like he was about to keel over.

"I know, mate."

"No, t-take me to her, now."

"Is that a good idea?" Alex didn't know the ins and outs of what had happened almost a month ago. All he had gathered from two of his closest friends was that they were on some kind of break, and not by Jonah's voice.

Everything had shattered around him when (Y/n) said she needed a break. Jonah didn't know why. He didn't know what he'd done or what he could do to improve it and bring (Y/n) back. She was the only one for him, she was the light at the end of the tunnel, the person who understood him when others overlooked him. (Y/n) was home and Jonah couldn't cope without her. The longer he stayed away from her, the worse he started to feel until alcohol was the only thing that numbed the tears and the throbbing in his head.

He didn't know what he was meant to do anymore. Jonah couldn't operate without (Y/n). He woke up every morning broken and aching when he realised the bed was cold and empty beside him. He could barely contain his anguish when he stared at his phone and realised it was never (Y/n) calling or texting him.

He scrolled through their pictures and begged to rewind time and go back to the moments captured on his phone.

What did he do wrong?

"It's okay, I'll walk there." Jonah started veering to the left when he tried to walk without letting his weight fall on Alex but he stopped when he felt his friend grab his upper arm and pull him back.

He would walk the distance, he would walk all night if he had to so he could see (Y/n) and if she shut the door in his face he would sit on the doorstep and wait. He would wait until the world ended if he had to, but Jonah had to see her.

"Alright, alright. Where is she?"

Alex would never forgive himself if he let Jonah stumble off, intoxicated and confused like this. He would get himself run over or fall in an alley or get mugged. At least if Alex drove him and (Y/n) didn't want to see him, Alex could then take him home and make sure he was alright.

It didn't take long to get to (Y/n)'s sister's house where she had been staying since the break between her and Jonah.

Both men were more than relieved when (Y/n) opened the door, wrapped up in a jumper with bleak, tired eyes that awakened with worry when she realised who was here.

“I'm sorry, he was determined to see you.” There was an apologetic yet worrying look in Alex’s eyes which resonated throughout his posture. He had one of Jonah's arms slung over his shoulders and about half of his weight resting on him. He was the pillar keeping Jonah from collapsing on the doorstep and he knew if he let his friend go, he would fall down and not get up until the sun shone in the sky.

"Come in."

Both of them were surprised when (Y/n) opened the door and beckoned them to follow her inside. Alex had been prepared to take Jonah back to his house for the night and Jonah had been ready to sit and wait here for the rest of the night until he sobered up and (Y/n) decided she wanted to see him.

"He's had quite a lot to drink by the look of him." Alex stuffed his hands into his pockets, silently looking between (Y/n) and Jonah, unsure what he was supposed to do now.

Just one look at Jonah had tears welling up in (Y/n)'s eyes and a sadness brewing in her heart when he slumped down onto the sofa. He folded in on himself like a piece of paper, arching his back and pushing his head down to rest on his knees with his hands knitted into the hair at the back of his head.

He knew he was a mess, but he didn't care. All he cared about was (Y/n).

"Thanks for looking out for him, it's late, you should go home. I'll take care of him."

"Thank you,"

(Y/n) leaned over and indulged in a small hug with Alex before she saw him out. There was no point him staying and babysitting Jonah when (Y/n) could take care of him perfectly fine on her own. He wasn't a handful, he wasn't slurring or shouting or crying, he was a sombre mess and as heartbreaking as it was, (Y/n) could do this.

"Are you okay?" (Y/n) rested her hand on Jonah's back and started to rub soothing circles but she was taken by surprise when he leaned over and shifted his head onto her lap instead. His hands grabbed at her thighs as if to steady and ground himself and his breaths were hot and wet against her bare legs.

"I can't cope without you. I just needed to see you again, hear your voice… touch you again."

"I'm sorry," She could feel Jonah groaning into her skin before he slowly pulled his head up so he could look at her.

His deep green eyes were blown wide, presumably from the alcohol he'd been consuming all night, but there was a gleam in them that always made (Y/n) go weak at the knees. And when she looked down to his pale lips and saw his tongue darting out to wet them, she could feel everything stirring inside her, about to come bubbling up to the surface.

"I don't want you to be sorry, I just want you."

The alcohol was giving him the courage he hadn't had in weeks. It gave him the ability to speak to her when before, all he could do was stare at her picture and wish his thoughts could telepathically register with her. Looking at (Y/n) only broke his heart and she stole his ability to speak without meaning to. With liquid courage Jonah could try and talk to her after weeks of silence that was quickly killing him.

"I know…"

What was she supposed to say? What should she do?

He was drunk, he wasn't going to remember this conversation in the morning and he probably won't remember how he got here or what happened tonight. Having a serious conversation with him wasn't going to work, it wouldn't help either of them when (Y/n) was conflicted and Jonah was intoxicated.

But that still didn't help (Y/n) work out what she should do, right in this very moment. With Jonah looking at her like that and gliding his hand up and down her thigh, he made it very hard to think straight.

"What did I do wrong?" Something snapped inside (Y/n)'s stomach like an elastic band had been stretched too far and broken, shooting right through her heart and lungs.

She never meant for Jonah to think or feel like he had done something wrong, that wasn't her intention and that wasn't what happened. If she'd of known that was what he had been thinking this last month, she would have tried to speak to him. (Y/n) would have visited him and sought him out sooner if she'd of known he thought he had done something wrong.

He could never do anything that would make her leave.

(Y/n)'s hand started to shake when she reached up to cup his face and she could feel the tears starting to fall when he gripped her wrist tightly like it was his lifeline.

"Oh Jonah, honey, it wasn't anything you did, I promise."

The way she said his name had shivers rocketing down his spine and a fire igniting in his stomach.

"Then why did you go? Please tell me. I refuse to believe you don't love me anymore… and if it wasn't something I did, then I don't know what it was." Even though he was still highly drunk and some of his words started to slur and slow, he talked as if he was only the tiniest bit tipsy and not fully sloshed and inhibited with alcohol.

Maybe it was time to talk to him, set things straight between them. After all, (Y/n) wasn't sure she could stay away from Jonah any longer and he didn't seem like he was going to budge, drunk or sober.

Maybe if she told him, he wouldn't recall their conversation in the morning. She might just get away with clearing it all off her chest and having the slate be wiped clean when they woke in the morning. Things could change and move forward and she wouldn't have to torment herself any more or fear about hurting him.

"I didn't want to hurt you, I thought a break would calm me down and let me sort things out, put things right. If I'd of known you felt like this I would never have stayed away but I couldn't hurt you any more."

"Why would you hurt me?"

"Because I was scared… Darren was getting too close and I- when I pushed him away he kept coming back. He had wandering hands that never stopped and he said if I told anyone, everyone would just think I cheated."

The way Jonah slumped back against the sofa looked like (Y/n) had cocked back and slapped him.

She should have told him.

How could he help her if he didn't know what was going on? How could he protect her if she didn't talk to him and instead chose to shut him out because she thought it would help him. (Y/n) didn't have to protect him, she didn't have to save him from any pain because the only pain Jonah couldn't withstand was being away from her. This month had proved that. He could take anything but (Y/n) being torn away from him, that was his cryptonite.

"I broke us off so he couldn't threaten to tell you anything and I could get rid of him."

"Sweetheart, you need to know that I think so highly of you… but you don't have to protect me when you're the one getting hurt."

Jonah moved before (Y/n) could register what was happening.

His hand swiftly glided up her thigh and beneath her shorts until he could grip the soft flesh of her hip. He leaned forward and smashed his lips against hers before the alcohol washed away the little bit of courage he had and his unsteady balance caused him to lean into (Y/n) until she fell back. Her back hit the cushions and Jonah swallowed the surprised squeak she emitted while he steadied himself with his other hand pressed down beside her head so all of his weight didn't collapse onto her.

Part of him knew he should pull back, apologise and leave, but the other part of him, the selfish side told him to keep going. And he was only encouraged further when (Y/n) hooked her legs around his hips and let him lean into her and mould his hips against hers.

How could he turn away when she tasted so good? How could he force himself to leave when (Y/n) was his home and she was letting him get his foot back in the door?

"You've no idea how much I've missed you." He whispered each word against her sugary lips, barely parting enough to speak before he devoured them again. Too afraid to pull back fully and never taste her lips again. There were never going to be enough words in the world for him to describe how broken he felt or how horrible his misery had made him when he let her walk away.

Jonah didn't think he would survive losing (Y/n) a second time.

"I think I do."

(Y/n) kissed the corner of his mouth before she cupped his face between her hands and smoothed her thumbs over his flushed cheeks. She took a moment to commit his face to memory, to see the way his eyes sparkled with haze and lust and how his lips parted, eager to kiss her again and again until he passed out.

"Don't leave me again,"

The tender smile that pulled at her lips made Jonah feel weak and he didn't want to kiss those lips again just yet, he didn't want to risk breaking that smile which sent his heart rocketing in his chest. Instead, he let his chest lean down onto hers and attached his lips to her neck like a vampire starved for centuries.

In that moment, with Jonah's teeth biting to bruise her skin and his hands roaming every inch of her that he could grab at, (Y/n) knew she was done for.

She knew right then that she couldn't push Jonah away anymore, not when it was killing both of them to be apart and now they had collided together, nothing was going to stop him. He wouldn't leave her, couldn't leave her. He loved her too much to let her walk away a second time and (Y/n) couldn't break her own heart and leave him again.

The break between them hadn't been permanent, and now it was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you thirsty?" (Y/n) felt Jonah's arms binding around her waist and his fingers splaying out over the front of her hips like he was about to pull her into a dance. His face tucked into the crook of her neck and her knees all but buckled when he bit down on the spot just behind her ear.

She barely managed to nod in response, feeling a hum vibrate from his lips through her neck before he gently turned her around and started to walk towards the table in the far corner.

His lean chest glued up against (Y/n)'s back and every inch of him pressed into her as they walked in sync, one foot in front of the other as if they were one person. Reaching down, (Y/n) held onto Jonah's arms before she turned her head to nuzzle her face against his curls and breathe in his scent.

They hadn't been here at the party for very long and (Y/n) was sure they wouldn't be here for much longer, either. Not with the way he was clinging to her and the force he kissed her with.

When they reached the table, (Y/n) reached out and grabbed two plastic cups filled with whatever alcohol was in the punch bowl. She could feel Jonah nudging her hair back over her shoulder so he had better access to her neck and it made her shiver. She could barely put one foot in front of the other when he growled quietly against her and the vibrations radiated through her back and shook her lungs in her chest.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

His arms stayed deadlocked around her waist while they walked slowly back towards the other room so they could sit down with Alex and a few other friends they had tagged along with tonight. But (Y/n)'s brain wasn't registering where they were going or what they were doing, she just let Jonah be her guide while she concentrated on walking properly and breathing slowly. If he carried on like this she was going to jump him.

"Wanna sit down?" (Y/n) felt how raspy her voice was and how quietly she spoke but she knew Jonah heard her when she felt him nod into the crook of her neck.

(Y/n) kept tight hold of the cups when Jonah suddenly spun round and flopped down onto the sofa, tugging her with him until she landed with a thud on his lap and some of the alcohol sloshed out of the cup and spilt onto her hand and his jeans.

He knew she was part-way drunk when she laughed instead of cursed at the spillage.

Slouching down, Jonah shimmied a little on the sofa until his back was arched down and he could spread his legs out, easily fitting (Y/n) on his lap with her legs dangling between his. His arms stayed bound to her waist and he perched his chin on (Y/n)'s shoulder so he could take a large swig of his drink before he let (Y/n) put it on the coffee table in front of them that his knees were bumping into.

Neither of them could concentrate on whatever it was Alex was ranting happily about. He could have been talking about the end of the Earth and they would have just smiled and nodded along. They were too amused by each other to bother taking a big interest in his drunk ramblings.

Biting her lip, (Y/n) tilted her head down a little when Jonah gently swept her hair over her shoulder before he attached his lips to the top of her neck just below her hairline.

He made a slow, wet trail down her neck, kissing over each column of her spine before a finger hooked in the top hem of her dress so he could pull it down and continue his trail.

(Y/n) sipped her drink, doing her best to concentrate on each gulp she downed and control herself so she didn't end up choking in front of everyone when Jonah decided to graze his teeth against her spine to wind her up. But when she felt his free hand suddenly pull up the hem of her dress, (Y/n) held her plastic cup against her lips to hide her grin from prying eyes and disguise her bush from her friends sitting around her.

She tried to stay still and act unaware, she really did, just to see what Jonah would do and how far he would go. And he kept going. His fingers dug tighter into her dress until he was about to put holes through the thin material and he raked it up her leg agonisingly slowly. He pulled it until her dress was bunched around her waist and he was about to keep going before (Y/n) realised her underwear was about to be on display.

Leaning forward, (Y/n) put her cup down before she turned herself around on his lap. Her knees dug into his hips, creating a hissing burn in his sides that only made him grin and her arms looped around his neck so she could tug his hair and tilt his head back to make him look up at her.

"You're insatiable, you know that?"

"Only when it comes to you," His hands found her waist again and he scrunched up her dress in his tight fists when (Y/n) barely let her lips touch his before she took his lower lip between her teeth.

"Get a room! You can't do it down here in front of everyone, you know." Alex nudged Jonah's shoulder but he barely felt the light impact. His eyes were enraptured by the girl sitting on his lap.

"Good idea," Jonah mumbled against (Y/n)'s lips, letting go of her dress so his hands could hold her bum while he shuffled to the edge of the sofa and sat upright.

He was bored by this party already, and he knew (Y/n) felt the same. It was time to find a vacant room upstairs or get a taxi home and continue this in private.

He had her back, and he wasn't letting her go. Not for anything in the world.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

[shorimochi]

ScumPlane but it's Conan AU

(SQH/SJ modern day, Detective Conan AU)

(Except SJ is the one you should be careful of :3)

Shang Qinghua was screwed. The date he had been planning for a long time was ruined.

It was supposed to be a normal, peaceful day. The weather was nice. Shang Qinghua had everything planned and even wrote an entire itinerary for his long-awaited date. He had purchased the waterpark ticket in advance, researched the nearby restaurants, and even a nice hotel, just in case… you know.

Yet luck was not on his side. He happened to bump into a couple men in black on his way to the meeting place and witnessed what was definitely an illegal transaction that possibly involved some smuggled weapons. Before he could even run and get the police, Shang Qinghua was attacked and force-fed an unknown drug which turned him into a kid.

He was alive, at least. But how was he supposed to explain this to Shen Jiu? It wasn't easy to score a date with the most popular man in his campus, no way Shen Jiu would believe that a grown up man just turned into a kid.

Someone kicked open his apartment door and Shang Qinghua shrieked.

Shen Jiu walked in with his heels clicking. He took one glance at Shang Qinghua and scowled. "What in the world happened to you?"

Shang Qinghua blinked. He pointed at himself. "Eh? Ehh?? You know it's me? Wait, how do you - why are you here? How?!"

Shen Jiu took out his phone and showed his call history. "You didn't answer your call."

“Well, my voice-"

"Knowing you, I'd have to consider the possibility of you dropping dead from MSG and caffeine overdose, before I make my conclusion," Shen Jiu said.

Shang Qinghua cried. He couldn't believe it! For hours he had been in despair thinking about how there was no way he could convince anyone about the reality behind his current disaster. "How did you recognize me?"

"You don't look all too different." Shen Jiu sat down. “You and me… we've been estranged from our families for years. Having any young relative nearby is close to impossible for us. More importantly - who else knows the passcode to your apartment, except you and me?”

A sad reality for them but it was true. When Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu first met, they somehow bonded over their common background. Both were alone and had been abandoned by their birth families. Shen Jiu grew up in an orphanage and Shang Qinghua spent his childhood being tossed back and forth between divorced parents who didn’t fight for his custody.

"Also,  I recognize that birthmark on your shoulder," Shen Jiu smirked.

Shang Qinghua’s face instantly flushed red. He recalled the day they hooked up for the first time, Shen Jiu had sunk his teeth into his shoulder, right next to his birthmark.

"Well? Tell me," Shen Jiu demanded.

Shang Qinghua relayed the chronology of the event and detailed everything he saw as well. By the end of it, Shen Jiu looked absolutely furious.

"I'm going to kill them," Shen Jiu hissed.

Shang Qinghua secretly thanked the heavens for giving him such a reliable boyfriend. As to how Shen Jiu would decimate people who could potentially be part of some dangerous organization… well, he was sure Shen Jiu would have his way.

[mikkeneko]

For choose violence ask game: 6, 12, 21, 24 (I was thinking mdzs but if you prefer to do them for another fandom go for it!)

Lots of options! Starting from the top!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? ... for SVSSS.

I considered this for MDZS, but nothing really fit the bill. Other people doing this meme have named some subsets of WangXian stans, and while I can see the frustration, my OTP is also WangXian so those don't usually annoy me personally. XiYao and other 3Zun combos don't impinge on my enjoyment any, various F/F shippers are fine, juniors shippers bounce right off me... there are some specific types of character stans that annoy me but not so much ship fans.

However, I'd say that there is a specific subset of ship fans in SVSSS that do annoy the heck out of me -- LiuJiu shippers who seem to have decided that Shen Jiu is the actual one true hero of SVSSS and Liu Qingge is the one sole, shining source of reason who Understood Him (what?) and every other character is a horrible monster for doing him dirty. This character assassination starts at Luo Binghe (okay fair) extends to Shen Yuan (he didn't even get there until SJ was dead!) and Yue Qingyuan (c'mon, really?) and around the point where the ship thesis was explaining how Mu Qingfang was actually a horrible monster who denied medical care to all the disciples on Qing Jing Peak out of unfounded malicious spite against Shen Jiu, I was turned off this particular mindset quite permanently.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them... also for SVSSS

I dunno that I've got one of these. I think I don't tend to get into fandoms where the characters I like are broadly unpopular. There are characters who are divisive, but they tend to have fervent defenders as well as detractors (Anders from DA, Jiang Cheng from MDZS.) And characters that are broadly unpopular, well, I don't usually like them much either.

How about Zhuzhi-lang? I like Zhuzhi-lang. I don't know that he's unpopular so much that generally just doesn't seem to get much attention overall. Same for Tianlang-jun, maybe. Anyway what I like about ZZL specifically is that particular combination of sweet, good-hearted nature and absolutely blue and orange morality. You showed kindness to me and I love you! Now I will repay you by completely ruining your life. This step is completely logical and I can't see how anyone else wouldn't get it.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped... for MDZS

Guanyin Temple. I will not elaborate.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse... for MDZS

Absolutely everything relating to the Jiang family dysfunction. You can get takes in a spectrum running from "Yu Ziyuan was right to treat Wei Wuxian as she did because he was a bad seed and it doesn't count as abuse because it was normal for the setting" to "suggesting there's any kind of complex dynamics at play or that any of the people involved are any more complicated than a 2d papercut monster is abuse apologism" to "Jiang Cheng should simply have Understood that everything his parents and culture taught him was completely wrong, on his own, in a vacuum, as a teenager" to "Jiang Yanli should have made her parents stop being abusive, this is a reasonable thing to expect a teenager girl to accomplish" and they are all very bad

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

[funkymbtifiction]

Is it normal for 3 to constantly feel stressed about job performance?

It would be normal for an sp-dom 3, in the same way that a social 3 would be concerned with their reputation/acceptance, or sexual 3 would be concerned with their need to stand out sexually.

And is it normal for 3 to be plague with a voice in my head telling me to 'give up, you can't do this. Give up now, run away, don't let them see how weak and stupid you really are.'

This sounds like a strong 6 fix, but not being a 3, I don't know what their normal inner monologue is like.

It's like I feel like I'm constantly pushing myself to the edge to keep up with everything. I'm stressed over my work performance and constantly needing to step up my game at all time. I want to keep up with my producers so I could be more useful to the team. I feel like I have to be smarter, stronger and smoother because I need to be the pillar to everyone. I feel like I need to be the most reliable one so everyone can work smoothly, but it's pushing me to the edge.

3s desperately need others to see them as competent, and to be competent, but this is particularly your 2 wing stressing over wanting to "help" and seeking a position of power. Why do you feel like you need to be the most reliable person in the office, when your previous ask told me there are capable SJs within your work environment who can handle the details that give your inferior Si stress? Also, why do you think it's your job to keep everything running smoothly? Are you not part of a team, which means it's everyone's job to do their part, maintain communication, and support each other? Who made you the center of this little universe? (You did, 3! But... you aren't, and you don't have to be, and choosing to overdo it is still a choice. You can also choose not to try to be the center of everything. ;)

I've been pushing myself really hard to learn fast and be efficient. I'd say I'm far ahead in terms of actual production and networking than my teammates. But it's not enough. So I stayed late at the office every night. Work harder than anyone. Taking on more tasks than everyone else (including juggling between 2 movies, 1 corporate shoot, 1 netflix shoot, among other miscellaneous jobs I helped my friends with). That allows me to know more than other people but it also puts a strain on my mind and body too. I've been stressing that I need to be better everyday and it's become exhausting.

Then stop. Go home when everyone else goes home. You are not an ESTJ, so stop trying to act like one. There is a reason why people go home. And I will tell you, so that you can internalize it and save yourself from running yourself into exhaustion. The reason people rest is that you can only turn out your best work for about 3 hours a day. This is why most people prefer to do their hardest work in the morning. By 5pm, people's energy levels, ability to focus, and capability of doing a task well is shot. Going home, stopping work, and walking away from it to clear your head, read a book, and get a good night's sleep is essential to refilling your mental and physical tank, so that you are not worthless the next day.

Do not take on more than is your fair share, either. That work will get done without you stressing yourself into poor health because of it. What you need is self-care, so that you don't burn out and crash.

I realize for an ENTP, this is a hard thing to process, because you assume you can go forever without exhaustion catching up to you and destroying you. But take it from someone who has had to learn the hard way that over-working, taking on too much, etc., leads down a bad road. I have killed myself writing for 9 hours a day, when my best work was in the first three. I have had to train myself to stop and not keep pushing to meet a word count, or do as much as I did yesterday, in the full realization that I miss things and am no good at my job when I am tired. I won't lie to you, it makes me angry that I am stuck in an ENFP body that gets tired after only a few hours, and that I can't rush from one project right into another, but that's how it is. I can either learn self-care now or I can collapse from exhaustion and spend weeks recovering -- in which case I'll get NOTHING done.

Set reasonable small goals and meet them, and when you are done with those, if you have a bit of energy to loan to your friends for their projects (making sure to ask if they want help, and not just take it over, or assign it to yourself, and going home if they say no) do it. If you are tired (trust me, I know that you only realize you are tired when you actually stop focusing for the day)... quit. Call it a night.

Look. This is a new job. You are going to make mistakes. That's being human. Trust me, nobody is looking at you and thinking you are an idiot. Everyone is thinking about themselves and how well they are doing. 3s think they should just show up at a job and be perfect. They don't want to have to learn how to do it like everybody else. They want people to see their efforts as... effortless. "Yeah, look at all I accomplished, it was no biggie!" when in reality, they were up all night pulling out their hair, drinking excessive amounts of coffee, and freaked about not making their deadline.

But nobody gets it right on the first try. So cut yourself some slack.

I feel like unless I'm special and smart enough, no one's gonna take me seriously.

They already take you seriously, otherwise you wouldn't have the job.

No one's gonna value me. It's almost like all I have is my performance, with that gone, I'm nothing. I have to be smart and strong and reliable so people accept me.

Welcome to the hell that is 3-ness. Read more about 3s. Read what Richard Rohr says about 3s. And then come to the hard truth that... none of the lies you tell yourself are true. Thus begins your journey. A journey of choice, rather than constantly giving in to these thoughts and going on 3 autopilot, which is "earning love."

You. Have. A CHOICE.

What do you think I should be doing? I love this job and I love this very supportive and progressive community. They give me the love and acceptance I've never experienced my entire life. I don't want to lose them, but I want to stay healthy, mentally, too.

Stop over-compensating. Take on the projects they give you and don't greedily suck up all the work for yourself. Recognize that you cannot do it all, mentally or physically, and that attempting to do so is going to make you sloppier in your work due to exhaustion. Go home when everyone else does. No more late nights at the office.

[radley3925]

A-90 Headcanons Rewrite :3

I just wanted to rewrite all of my doors headcanons and thought I'd start with A-90 bc I am the one and only :3

He/Him - Trans Man :]

He looks like a knight. He even has a sword and shield and everything. But it's an act. He is really bad at using his arsenal and would rip off the armor in a moment's notice for attacking more up close.

His sort of "Species" of entity is that who can switch between functioning more like humans or acting more feral (re: getting on all fours, purring, etc.) Unfortunately he fucked up somewhere in childhood and doesn't have a proper balance between the two like most of his kind. He's very clumsy and it's partly why he only does 90 damage when "Humanlike".

Sometimes (Usually when very stressed or hungry, can be anything really) he will go through what he just calls "Reversion" in which he'll flip into his feral state and how he acts depends on the severity of the cause. (Sometimes he can still rationally think, sometimes you need keep an eye on him, other times he'll probably go nuts, etc.) and during this timeframe he tends to get memory issues and will be extremely wobbly when he's "normal" again. He calls being traditionally functional "Suppression".

He has retractable claws and blades yes exactly like the razor stp

His armor makes him heavier than any other entity but he's very underweight without it and almost one of the lightest. When he's not wearing his armor, he's most likely wearing some generic tank top and shorts lawl.

Hates noises. Primary reason he attacks is to JUST STOP THE NOISE. Especially the sounds of ringing phones.

Well, he's neutral-ish of a guy. His biggest reasons for aggression are his feral nature, annoyances, and fear that someone will hurt Curious Light. He does snap at people often though.

Found Curious Light roaming the rooms when she had first gotten lost and pretty much serves as her father figure. A-120 looks after CL when A-90 is busy. He eventually reunites her with her mom (GL).

Was the last of the rooms entities to show up in the hotel before their banishment, he went there in order to figure his life shit out. Obviously short lived cause El Goblino fucked everything up and banished them.

He does not like that red fucker. But do you wanna know who he does like!?!?!?!?

"Is it Seek-" yeah it's Seek <3. He loves them too much. They're both doomed by the narrative. Oops.

Struggles a lot to clear his head when stressed. Is also quite introverted and can't really communicate anger, he will start speaking in gibberish when aggravated. Guiding Light, Ambush, and A-120 are the only people who can translate it (Though A-120 can only translate if it's written down).

Collects skin conditions like pokemon cards sparkle emoji "dude can you take your lotions and stop having acne and eczema and sjs for five seconds" -GL

Hoarder but not to Ambush's degree. Collects things from intruders albeit pointless bc A-120's contracts can bring just about anything into the rooms lawl. Still nice for him. He carries a duffel bag full of goodies.

HUMAN FLESH HEART EYES EMOJI <3 <3 <3 He will tear up corpses and eat them right then and there if his head is feral enough. He usually leaves the bones for A-60 though.

Depending on his mood, his blood will turn red/yellow/green/etc. Yellow is the default but he's almost never in a good mood so he's usually the classic red. Hardly anyone has ever seen him green.

BLOOD STAINS EVERYTHING LITERALLY NOBODY CAN CLEAN IT D:

Eyes appear as just a dark void but his pupils will show up when he feels strong emotion. Shape and size depends on intensity.

[haehaeming]

100 random facts about SJ members that may or may not help you with your FF

Or if you’re just... bored

1. Eunhyuk doesn’t like finger prints on screens, glasses, etc... It’s a little thing I find cute

2. Kyuhyun was a fan of SJ’s music before debuting with them

3. Leeteuk knows what ‘daddy’ means in a sexual context

4. Leeteuk also understands the concept of a sugar parent, but it was not a positive experience for him. It’s possible other members also understand this concept.

5. Kyuhyun likes men and women

6. Yesung writes his own music

7. Leeteuk has many unreleased songs

8. Eunhyuk has difficulty with his emotions in a general sense, so he’s thankful SJ understand him

9. When Kyuhyun was a teenager, he has to rebel against his fathers wishes to debut as a singer.

10. Kyuhyun dated many girls as a teenager, but only kissed one

11. Sungmin and Kyuhyun have the highest amount of testosterone among SJ members. This was public information a long time ago, though, and alcohol consumption has probably lowered the number a little over time.

12. Sungmin and Kyuhyun share a love of wine

13. Ryeowook is an affectionate drunk

14. Leeteuk is a Leo Venus which means he’s very annoying (read: passionate) in his relationships (This fact was corrected by @fanbynature , it originally said Heechul was a Leo Venus too but he’s actually a Leo Virgo, bonus fact!!)

15. Donghae thinks Eunhyuks lips look best in the morning.

16. Eunhyuk understands the concept of drag.

17. Yesung is very talkative but only when you’re close to him

18. Yesung would kiss SJ good morning back in the dorm days

19. Kyuhyun shows love through acts of service

20. Yesung shows love through quality time

21. Leeteuk is a huge flirt, any fan who met him more personally will tell you

22. As far as we know, Yesung used to collect all sorts of jewellery.

23. Ryeowook and Leeteuk are into cute things (phone cases with cute characters, charms, etc)

24. It’s said Yesung and Sungmin will sleep the least amount of time, but Ryeowook will sleep the most

25. Sungmin and Leeteuk share a moon phase (Waning Gibbous)

26. Back in the dorm, Donghae would also wake his members with affection, but no kisses.

27. Donghae lost his first love because he was too clingy.

28. Kyuhyun and Leeteuk were consider ‘mom’s friend’s kids’ in their school days because they excelled in everything they did. Like the scold ‘why can’t you be more like my friends kid’

29. Kyuhyun has a HUGE fanboy past. Now he can barely use the Internet without making it clear he’s old.

30. Shindong doesn’t like to be clothed at night or in the summer. He takes off his clothes unconsciously

31. Donghae was entrusted to Leeteuk by Donghae’s father

32. Donghae keeps his habits from the dorm days around Leeteuk even now. When he and Leeteuk would share a room, Donghae would cuddle Leeteuk. Even now, when they share a room to sleep, Donghae sings to Leeteuk to try and lull him to sleep.

33. Kyuhyuns relationship with Donghae has been a little bit confusing for him, but recently he said Donghae is like SJs son

34. Yesung’s favourite song is ‘I’ll Make Love To You’

35. Sungmin is the only introvert in SJ

36. Kyuhyun, Leeteuk and Sungmin are open to book recommendations at all times

37. Because of Koreas age system, Yesung and Sungmin are basically the same age.

38. Sungmin technically ages 2 times on his birthday.

39. Teenage Leeteuk celebrated little milestones in relationships like ‘100 days anniversary’

40. Leeteuk would rather be called his stage name than his given name.

41. DBSJ* worked with a ghost in the recording studio, according to Sungmin

42. Donghae and Eunhyuk share a love of strawberries

43. Kyuhyun does not like to be called with pet names

44. Yesung has always shown interest in Canada for whatever reason

45. Ryeowook played the triangle in his school band. Literally

46. Yesung, Donghae and Leeteuk don’t drink.

47. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun love the colour white

48. Sometimes, Kyuhyun unwinds by solving math problems

49. Kyuhyun cited himself in his college thesis on K-pop’s popularity.

50. Leeteuk is taller than Sungmin. It’s more drastic than you think

51. Donghae and Sungmin have both been deemed as ‘naturally cute’, but oddly enough, Sungmin has said he doesn’t act cute anymore. Donghae hasn’t changed in terms of cuteness once

52. Donghae is very fond of dogs. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook are not

53. Sungmin and Eunhyuk were the closest friends predebut. They would take the bus to SM together and make sure nobody else sat next to them. There’s a picture somewhere online of a predebut Sungmin resting his head on Eunhyuk during one of those bus rides

54. Leeteuk didn’t have many friends when he was younger. Leeteuk still thinks he doesn’t have many friends.

55. Donghae and Sungmin share forgetfulness.

56. Leeteuk and Heechul became friends easily because they’re the same age and look out for each other. Also because if Leeteuk was busy or resting, Heechul would be the oldest and have authority over the young SJ for him.

57. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun taught themselves how to cook. Ryeowook and Sungmin were good at it from the beginning

58. Leeteuk wanted to become an idol because of 90s kpop groups looking super cool. He wanted some of that for himself and now I think he’s one of the coolest people ever

59. Leeteuk smokes

60. Sungmin used to sleep in a pink nightgown. Even now, he doesn’t let the fact go, but he says it’s embarrassing

61. Predebut Eunhyuk stole a Shinhwa CD from SM to impress a girl

62. Leeteuks waist size is 26 inches. The ideal size for women in the west

63. Leeteuk entered to win special edition Nike shoes 100 times total. He won

64. When a younger Sungmin was frustrated, he would vent online. Similar to how Leeteuk would when he was younger

65. Sungmin recently said men ask him for his number when he goes out

66. As far as we know, Yesung used to worry about whether or not he would live to grow old :(

67. Donghae has always had a love of poetry

68. Kyuhyun’s originally near-sighted

69. Both Yesung and Leeteuk struggle to define their relationships with others

70. Yesung doesn’t smile a lot when cameras aren’t on him

71. Eunhyuk doesn’t like seafood. Donghae does.

72. Donghae doesn’t like sweets. Eunhyuk does

73. Sungmin was the first member to open his YT channel back in 2018.

74. Ryeowook is said to be a heavy drinker

75. Leeteuk finds peace in the rain

76. Kyuhyun is said to have one of the biggest hearts in SJ, alongside Leeteuk

77. Eunhyuk first appeared publicly in 1992 on a TV show by complete accident. It made him happy

78. In order to sleep in a new location, Donghae sleeps best if there’s something near him that reminds him of home. This is an old fact holds up today, Donghae often sleeps close to his members

79. Predebut, Eunhyuk and Junsu purposefully tried to make Donghae cry

80. Every roommate Donghae has had, he has had multiple complaints about all of them

81. Yesung bought a turtle a long time ago because he felt bored without a pet. Even after buying the turtle, he was still bored

82. Eunhyuk is constantly getting ‘friend zoned’ by Donghae. It’s mostly Donghae who calls them as friends, Eunhyuk got a million other words

83. Sungmin studies English and music every day.

84. Leeteuk loves to learn and is always studying something new as well

85. In high school, Leeteuk studied German

86. ‘Don’t give up’ was Sungmin’s motto in elementary school

87. Leeteuk and Sungmin are big Na Hoon Ah fans

88. When Donghae was in elementary school, he was taller than his classmates and even had a nickname relating to how tall he was

89. Sungmin is still mistaken for his 20s

90. Sungmin loves to eat, he talks about food a lot, but still diets strictly as a couple with his Saeun~

91. Eunhyuk is clumsy

92. Leeteuk is very different off camera, but he’s always aware of hidden cameras, so it’s impossible to catch him ‘normally’.

93. Leeteuk and Yesung curse like sailors

94. Kyuhyun and Shindong share great memorization skills

95. Donghae doesn’t like to eat alone

96. Yesung is the only Virgo in SJ. Kyuhyun is the only Aquarius.

97. Leeteuk finds some men to be cute. Particularly men with beards (in terms of dating)

98. Sungmin wants to record music in English for his international fans

99. Sungmin and Leeteuk both have a fan they consider a friend

100. Eunhyuk loves to be in Japan

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

I don't understand how are people who say "Shen Jiu was so horrible that the Peak Lords were happy to have him replaced" when, with the slag that the Peak Lords are, is that nothing special? Like, why would that be humiliating? Literally in An Ding Peak disciples die every mission, Peak Xian Shu should have a harassment problem but instead Qi Qingqi's main disciple writes the worst case of objectification in the whole novel, Bai Zhan doesn't have Shizun or Dashixiong, Mu QingFang was useless and all his work was done by demons. Their Peaks didn't even survive in PIDW. And were they still shit with Shen Yuan anyway? How exactly does leave a bunch of cultivator disciples to a amnesiac person make someone believe that they are decent people? Could all have died for that stupidity. I don't understand what part made them believed they shouldn't help someone with amnesia. They were also unable to stop mentioning Shen QingQiu's late cultivation when supposedly believed that he didn't remember. They weren't even good with Shen Yuan, I have no idea where people get that supposed good relationship when all they did was think on themselves. There's nothing strange that people like that don't care somebody

YES! Thank you!!

These people quite literally said fuck all about most things. We’re they strong, yes to get to where they are. But oh my GOSH the choices they made were so stupid I started questioning xianxia sects from other books!! Like “?? Is this normal??”

LQG literally died from a Qi deviation. It’s no ones fault but his own. This isn’t victim blaming he literally died because he was in this blind Qi deviation!

YQY is so incompetent his Shizun should SMACK him in the next life. He fucked EVERYTHING up because he couldn’t LISTEN. He literally refused to listen and follow with people’s simple options for simple problems and ultimately made everything worse!!

SY has to be the luckiest lil bastard in history. He too was useless because all he focused on was LBH to save his own skin. This absolute tool did fuck all with the other disciples. Fuck all aside from ogling “future wives” and had the nerve to assume SQQ was a predator when he was EYING UP LMY!!!

The only person that made any sense was GYx and HES A SIDE CHARACTER! Everyone else can burn in hell they were useless and if I had to be forgotten by people like them I would GLADLY do the Cha cha in hell. These same fuckwads would rather bully and harass their own fellow disciple and ignore when something is clearly wrong with him, than put in the effort to build a relationship. Their sects were going to burn with or without LBH they just got lucky no one was around long enough to see their disgraceful end

Gosh, the PLs and SY make me so angry when I think about their wasted potential.. (well except SY he just annoys me that people love him so much and slander SJ whom is the lesser of all evils in PIDW SQH IS A FUCKING MURDERER and LQG ABUSES SO MANY DISCIPLES but no one wants to listen to that ❤️)

[binghe-malewife-goals]

[Bingqiu/general]

Well might as well share my dream I had last night (note, i wrote this all down very quickly at 4 am so sorry for typos):

QJL is like a ruler or smth and Binghe is his brother (half-brother????)

Binghe and his mother are treated horribly by the kingdom's staff and qjl

Binghe is in love with Sqq but they are not in a relationship yet

Binghe wants to take down Qjl and tried to trick him by letting Binghe go off on some mission for Qjl (to find some jewel or smth? But actually binghe would find smth to take qjl down) but Qjl goes back on his agreement and tells everyone he is dead

Binghe comes back tho (after a month or smth) and sneaks back in once he realizes qjl tricked him. His mom is very happy to see him, but when Qjl realizes Binghe is back he continues to try and lock binghe out of the kingdom

Binghe keeps coming back tho, not only for his mother but also sqq (he believes qjl wants to take sqq as a concubine or smth) and to try and take qjl down

Binghe has some help from Mobei-jun and Sqh later on, the two joining him for some reason (probably to take qjl down)

One attempt to get back into the palace involved them climbing through pipes with oil (vividly remember an amused binghe hosing both Mobei-jun and Sqh down with some kind of clear liquid also from a pipe)

Qjl and a lot of the members in the palace are... crystal creatures? They look like normal humans and stuff, but instead of thriving off food and water they survive off of being around jewels (and also pretty discriminatory towards ppl who aren't jewel creature things, which is part of the reason why qjl and the staff tormented binghe and his mother so much)

Binghe (but also maybe sqq? I can't remember, but I think Binghe planned this with someone else) at some point sneaks in to qjl's baby prince's room and takes the very important nutritional out of the crib (can't remember why binghe did this either, but I'm pretty sure it was some kind of eye-for-an-eye situation. I don't think Binghe's mom was killed, but I do think Qjl did something horrible to her that set Binghe off)

Qjl freaks out cause for some reason only that specific jewel can give the baby the nutrition it needs to survive. Binghe is not found out, but Qjl is so pissed he send him to the dungeons anyway to rot away (mbj and sqh are also there but don't know why)

Sqh says it's very unlikely they'll be able to escape, but Binghe is stubborn because his not just gonna leave his mother and sqq behind like thag and tries to dig his way out, which takes a long time (and is very painful) but he succeeds.

Binghe stumbles upon Yqy (who is weirdly big in this au, think vampire lady from resident evil tall) and does some kind of favor for Yqy.

When Yqy and Binghe arrive at the palace, Yqy confronts Qjl who is shaking in his boots. Apparently, Qjl was never the actual ruler but just a stand-in until the real ruler returned.

From Sqq's mumbling in the background (cause he's a drama whore) Yqy is the real ruler (and Sj is implied to be the empress, but Qjl's kid wasn't from Sj but some random concubine).

Binghe pretty much tuned everything else once he sees Sqq, so ecstatic to see him and that everything will finally be over, he doesn't even process Sqq's mumblings and just goes over to kiss him

(Yes its implied Sqq is a transmigrator JDHH)

[dc41896]

Attention

Pairing: Johnny “Human Torch” StormxBlack Reader

⚠️: Tiny bit of angst (if it even counts really), also tiny bit of implied happy times, but mostly fluff💕!

Re-reading over your notes for what felt like the millionth time this week, you softly mumble to yourself the highlighted material hoping that everything would remain stuck in your mind for your practical tomorrow.

“Intramuscular means within the muscle and is given at a 90 degree angle. Intravenous means within the vein, given at a 25 degree angle. Subcutaneous: in the subcutaneous layer at a 45 degree angle. And finally intradermal-,”

“Psst....psst!!”

If only your boyfriend would stop being a grown man child and let you finish studying though.

“Yes Johnny?,” you sigh still looking down at your binder.

“Take a break, I want to show you something.”

“No Johnny we’re not doing that again.”

“I wasn’t talking about that princess,” he smirks moving to lean against the bedroom door frame. “Although I’m not complaining if you want more.”

Giving him a look clearly showing how you weren’t in the mood, he chuckles holding up his hands to show he was done joking.

“Seriously though I want to show you something, so can you please come with me?”

“Just tell me, or take a picture of it on your phone and show me that way. I really have to keep studying and don’t have time for a bunch of breaks.” Straightening up, a low huff leaves his lips as you hear him pad through the living room before coming back holding a new action figure posed as if about to throw a handful of flames.

“Look! It’s me!,” he beams squatting next to you holding out the toy for you to see.

“Mhm that’s nice babe,” you smile not really displaying the reaction he wanted you to.

“I see you’re having a hard time containing your excitement,” he retorts sarcastically, bringing his mini me back towards his chest.

“It really is nice babe, it’s just similar to some of your other toys that I’ve already seen.”

“But with this one, the little flame lights up. See?” Pressing the small button on the back to show the tiny, plastic flame glowing scarlet, a wide smile spreads across his face making you giggle.

“Yes very cool. Now if that’s all, I gotta get back to this okay?”

“Alright,” he sighs standing up to return to his spot on the couch probably cold by now. “Why don’t you come study out here? It’ll be more comfortable than sitting on the floor.”

“Because you’re watching tv and that’s gonna distract me.”

“Not anymore. The game’s off so I’m done for the night,” he playfully smiles stealing one of your study packets making you whine his name. “Cmon you know you’d rather sit on the big, soft, incredibly comfy couch.”

Wiggling his brows, you roll your eyes trying to focus back on the words in front of you, but as always, seeing his adorable pout was wearing you down. Plus the ache in your buttcheeks was really making the couch, or any soft piece of furniture for that matter, sound like heaven.

“And, as an added bonus, your incredibly hot, charming, all around amazing boyfriend will be there.”

“Johnny...”

“As!...support and to help anyway I can of course. What did you think?,” he feigns shock as you shake your head.

“Alright fine. But if you try to distract me just once, I’m kicking you out for the rest of the night, and you’ll have to either get a hotel, or crash with Reed and Sue.”

“Okay deal,” he chuckles helping you stand and gather the packets, pens, and highlighters you needed to continue your attempted all nighter.

Sat in the middle of the plush sectional with one of his legs draped over your folded ones and the other stretched out behind you, so far he’d done well on his agreement. He stayed busy on his phone watching sports highlights with earbuds attached to his head, and hardly ever touched you unless to give a reassuring hug when he could sense you were getting overwhelmed, or softly dance his finger along your arm making you smile. He even started quizzing you from whichever packet you were on as you lied just below his chest playing with his free hand.

From how he was earlier, seemingly a bit more clingy and not wanting to be away from you, something told you deep down this was all he wanted. Just feeling your body near him as you did whatever, no matter how boring the task was. And although a little distracting, you couldn’t be completely mad at him for his antics since deep down you know you wanted it too.

Honestly need may be the better word judging from your noticeably calmer state. Even Johnny could feel your heart rate gradually decrease to its normal speed through his body.

Soon his yawn began to trigger your own set and eyelids became heavy as the questions came slower along with your answers. You tried to fight it off, but apparently your body had other plans making it increasingly more difficult to open your eyes until both of your light snores were the only sound that could be heard throughout the room.

———

“Good morning Mr. Johnny Storm, Miss Y/N,” the computerized security system greets opening the curtains to reveal the bright sun and cause you to stir. Rubbing your eyes, you see all the packets spread on the glass coffee table quickly reminding you of your exam.

“Sherlock, what time is it?,” you ask in a panic as you sit up causing Johnny to shift slightly without opening his eyes.

Also, why he decided to name the computer system Sherlock, you’d never understand.

“11:30 am miss.”

Grabbing your packets as fast as you can, a string of curses fall from your lips as you run about trying to collect your things. By now you were supposed to be on campus looking over your notes one last time before going in for your slot time at 12. At this rate, you’d definitely be over an hour late and received an automatic zero.

“What’s the rush princess?,” your boyfriend tiredly asks stretching his arms over his head as he stands.

“I overslept and I’m late,” you sniff trying to hold back your tears as you search through drawers trying to find your scrubs. “Where are they?”

Joining you in the room, he tries to kiss your cheek only to miss you completely as you rush past him still looking for your clothes.

“Closet babe. By my suit.”

“Well what about the other ones since those need to be washed now?”

“In the basket to be washed.”

“You mean the same clothes in the basket I asked you to wash last weekend,” you retort changing into the faint ash smelling scrubs. Noticing you wiping your eyes a bit more frequently, he manages to grab your arm stopping you from wherever else you needed to go.

“Johnny seriously I don’t have time for this-,”

“Relax okay? Let’s try to call your professor and tell them what happened to see if you can get a new time.”

“It’s not gonna work. This isn’t an emergency situation, I just overslept like an idiot,” you answer pulling away to finish the rest of your morning routine in the bathroom.

He sighs hearing you bang about while pulling his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants trying to find the number for your school. His upcoming events list popping up though makes him deeply chuckle as he shakes his head.

“Oh honey...!”

“Johnny please don’t start. I’m already frustrated a-and overwhelmed trying to figure out what to do and just need to-.” Holding his phone in front of your eyes, you see his calendar showing all his important meetings and interviews, along with your test date.

Which wasn’t until next Monday.

Pulling your phone from your backpack, you go to your calendar to find the same thing making you feel even dumber.

“...S-So I don’t have my test today?”

“No princess,” he smiles coming closer to caress your face with both hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“And I stayed up all night this week studying for nothing?”

“Well not for nothing. You know your stuff now, so you won’t have to worry about it later.”

“Yea,” you sigh looking up at him as you hold onto his strong forearms. “Sorry for snapping at you about the laundry, and for kinda being cranky yesterday.”

“You were stressed. I get it.”

“But still, there were things I could’ve said differently-.”

“I forgive you,” he smiles leaning in to meet your soft lips with his in a needy kiss he’d been craving since yesterday. Biting your bottom lip as he just barely pulls away, your hands wander from his forearms to his flexed biceps, shoulders, and eventually chest stopping to graze your index finger along the small dip below his neck.

“Well since I don’t have an exam today and no classes, I was thinking...”

“Oh I think I know,” he smirks tilting his head lower to nip at your jaw and neck making you giggle.

“I help you do the laundry.” As soon as the sentence left your mouth, his stopped making you laugh harder while he groaned against your skin.

“Alright I promise it’ll get done today, but can’t we do it later?,” he whines with puppy eyes, lifting you so your legs could wrap around his hips as if trying to persuade you.

“Let me finish. We do the laundry so I can have clean scrubs and between loads, I give you all the attention I know you’ve been wanting that I wasn’t fully able to give this week.”

“Hey it’s not like I’ve been that-,” he tries to deny before meeting your eyes as if they were saying “really?”

“...yes please,” he smiles before his mouth returns to your smiling lips.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicanawrites @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @maxcullen @literaturefeen @damnitaa @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jnk-812 @jojolu @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @secretmysteriousperson @scoop93535

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only want to be tagged for certain people I write for (can be found on my masterlist), or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[mitigatedchaos]

Previously: Progressive race politics is less a “point deer; make horse” loyalty test and more the emperor having brought a live wolf into the imperial palace and called it a friendly dog.

[javob]

I agree with everything except that I think a mass migration must also be considered genocide, as it has been the default form of cultural and societal erasure across the centuries, which is my definition of genocide.

I disagree, and I’m going to explain why.

From a personal moral perspective,

Death is permanent; culture can be restored in 10 or 20 years if people decide to do so (to a degree; the former USSR was State Atheist - now one of the old churches that was torn down is being rebuilt), and in any case I don’t consider culture as a first-class moral entity, the way that SJ Progressives consider race to be a first-class moral entity. 

Further, culture changes all the time - for instance, between the 1950 and 2000, there was substantial technologically-driven cultural change.  Migration does not necessarily exceed the bounds of ‘natural’ cultural change.

It isn’t that culture doesn’t have an importance beyond individual ideas, since culture is part of a people’s social ecology, but rather that mass killing people is just so much more severe (and so much less subjective) than burning books that it must be another class of crime entirely, and we should have a special name for this specific crime. 

From a political theorist perspective,

The purpose of the label “genocide” is to let you invade another country to stop it. 

Not joking.  That’s the point of carving out a special category.

Part of the point of the system of nation-states controlling defined territories with defined populations of citizens is actually to reduce armed conflict.  I know that sounds absurd.  However, a state has the right to set its culture inside its own boundaries.  Without that basic concept, well... I was told not that long ago by someone Progressive that they can’t let the red states go off and do their own thing, because “the Republicans will bring back slavery.”  Obviously that’s bullshit, but people of many moral systems can’t fucking stand the idea of someone living by a different moral standard than them.

So the system of states says that if you want to decide what the religion of France is, and you are not France, too bad, fuck you, you’re not allowed to send in an army to do that.  Now in practice if you get a big enough army that may not matter, but other states have an interest in keeping the precedent that you can’t do that.

So a country can decide its own internal policy, which includes cultural policy, because if they aren’t allowed to do that, then people will go to war over it constantly, and there will be lots of pointless bloodshed.

Likewise, countries are responsible for the actions of their citizens (particularly within their own borders), and making your own militia and rolling over the border to make your own personal war is not allowed.  Countries are authorized to have military conflicts.  Individuals are not.

So every person has a country that represents them in the international system.  If there were people without countries, their status within the system would be undefined, so it’s literally against international law to make people stateless.

However, while cultures may disagree on what the correct moral behavior is, individual human beings are at the mercy of states, so we need to define a condition where the state’s treatment of a population is so egregious that it invalidates that state’s normal rights to control the territory and the lives of the people there.

States fuck up and kill people all the time.  That isn’t just a feature of dictatorships; democracies and democratically-elected leaders do, too.  And if we consider ‘deaths from inefficiency’ a valid criteria, then we get back to that war of-all-against-all again.  (Is there any country that can arguably claim to be more efficient than Singapore?)

Wars kill a lot of people and fuck up a lot of infrastructure, so we shouldn’t usually allow a war unless it will literally kill fewer people to invade the territory and install a new government than to allow whatever is going on to continue, and we also have a reasonably objective measure for that.

The logical place to set the criteria that invalidates another state’s normal rights to control the territory due to the severe abuse of the population is mass death either from active measures (such as shooting hordes of unarmed people and tossing them into mass graves) or from a level of interference so severe that it might as well be (taking all the grain).

(ETA: The term “genocide” can also cover certain mass involuntary sterilizations; this is mentioned in the other post this one is a continuation of.)

[megalony]

Reliving the dream- Part 3

Here is the latest part in my new Rafael Barba series, I hope you will all like it, thank you for the comments they always make my day.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez-blog​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @ceres27​ @thereisa8ella​ @qardasngan​

@a-brignac​​​​

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Rafael had to recover from losing their baby 2 years ago, but their lives start to change again when (Y/n) finds out she’s pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, some fresh air.

(Y/n) took a deep breath of the crisp mid-morning air when she climbed out of Carisi's car, relieved to be back out again after what felt like forever of being cooped up behind her desk. Catching up on paperwork, scouting through the systems for vehicle matches and calling up other precincts to make their case stick.

Now that it was set in motion, they were taking on a new case and (Y/n) was going to talk to the victim and go over her statement again. This was the part of the job she wanted to be doing, out and about with the victims and going through statements and seeing witnesses. Desk duty wasn't something (Y/n) enjoyed about the job.

"So, you feeling okay, ready to be back in action? You didn't look too good when Barba took you home the other week."

Carisi stuffed the keys into his back pocket and rounded the car, walking beside (Y/n) as they headed over to Stacey's house, their latest victim of crime. It had been weird for him to be partnered with Nick for two weeks and to talk to victims and go places alone, he was happy to have (Y/n) back.

Everyone had wondered what was wrong the other week when Barba came storming in and then he was suddenly leaving and taking (Y/n) home. It was clear when (Y/n) came back in the next day that she didn't look well, her mind was somewhere else and she looked sick. At least now she seemed a bit calmer and settled again.

"I'm doing better, thanks." A genuine but small smile came onto (Y/n)'s lips as she looked up at her partner.

If (Y/n) were telling the truth then she would of said that she didn't feel one hundred percent but she was better than before. Barba would have put his foot down and made her stay home if she was still as bad as when he took her home that day. Her mental health had taken a dip and she had been violently sick when they got home, whether it was due to morning sickness or her emotions, they didn't know.

"Good, and if you ever wanna talk, you know I'm here."

Sometimes it was tempting to just tell him why she was worrying and wasn't feeling good but then it would mean the team would all know and then things would be different. (Y/n) wanted them to stay normal for just a bit longer. Her lips parted to give a kindly response but her eyes narrowed when they looked up at Stacey's house.

"The doors open."

The pair of them studied the house for a moment, the front door wasn't fully swung open but it wasn't left ajar either, it was part-way open but there was no sign of Stacey coming out or going in. A bad feeling tingled down (Y/n)'s spine and her gun felt heavier on her hip as they apprehensively approached the front door.

"Stacey, it's detective Carisi... Stacey, is everything alright?"

Carisi's hand rested on the clip of his holster, ready to grab his gun at any moment in case she was being robbed or hurt. He slowly walked into the house, his head turning in different directions before he looked back at (Y/n), pointing for her to take the left room and he would walk up ahead.

"Stacey-"

"He's jumped the fence, heading out onto the street!" Carisi's voice cut (Y/n) off and when she peeked to look out the window she could see a tall man in jeans and a plain white shirt stumbling down the side of the house and heading out into the street.

(Y/n)'s eyes briefly locked with Stacey who was shakily coming out of one of the back rooms, no injuries seemed to be on her so (Y/n) took off back out the front door, hearing Carisi not far behind her.

She knew that giving chase was technically one of the things she was supposed to hold back from but it was a chase. He didn't have a gun visible, he would have shown it and tried to hurt them if he did and he was stumbling down the street. Whoever he was might be Stacey's rapist and they needed to get him and keep him in custody for questioning before they lost him in case they got no further leads on him.

Giving chase always felt like running a marathon that had no finish line in sight, (Y/n) had done this hundreds of times and nine times out of ten they caught the person they were following but it was still hard. Skidding round sharp corners, bumping into people, walls, knocking past bins, having to push objects and sometimes people out her path to follow the perp.

Reaching her hand out, (Y/n) skidded round the corner, her fingertips grazing the perps shirt that she managed to dig her nails into and yank back towards her. She could feel her feet scuffing against the pavement and her upper body was almost falling on him from how she was straining and stretching out.

"Stop!"

Just as she wrenched his shirt back and slowed him down until he was almost beside her, he turned his body round and swung his right arm all the way round to her.

(Y/n) hadn't realised he had a phone in his hand until the top end of the phone was suddenly smashed into her face, catching her cheekbone and the side of her nose. Her head violently cracked to the right, her hand holding his shirt ripped the material before her arms bolted out to slow herself down and save herself from crashing to the pavement. Her stumbling feet slowed her fall and her knees scraped against the gravel but she managed to stop herself from falling on her front.

"(Y/n), hey, hey you alright?"

"Get him." (Y/n) nodded her head, dizziness washing over her but she waved her arm for Carisi to go. He took another brief look at her before his hands that were previously on her shoulders let go and he took off running again. There was more determination in Carisi's strides to get the guy now he had just taken a swing at his partner.

Blinking rapidly and rubbing her eyes to try and clear her vision, (Y/n) leaned back on her heels and took a few deep breaths. There was a stream of blood flowing down from her nose, her cheek felt like it was thudding, burning and already swelling and her lungs couldn't catch enough air. After a few seconds, (Y/n) swiped her sleeve under her nose before she forced herself to get up.

She couldn't think about what Barba or Olivia would say when they saw the state of her, she had to go and get this guy.

(Y/n) turned back and headed back round the main street and heaved herself down the street. The boys had gone round the back so sooner or later (Y/n) would find them coming back around and she could tackle the perp from the front if Carisi kept pace with him from behind.

It felt like she'd run miles and miles away from Stacey's house where they had parked but when she looked down the side street and noticed them coming up, (Y/n) felt a spark of relief flooding within her chest.

Slowing down to a stop, (Y/n) took a few steps back from the corner and caught her breath, waiting for the perp to come to her. Not thinking twice, (Y/n) unclipped her gun from her holster and swung her arm out to the right, cringing when she felt the barrel of the gun smash right into the perps nose which was now undoubtedly broken.

A gleam of pride glowered in (Y/n)'s eyes as she watched his head snap backwards before he fell down on his back. When her eyes flickered up to look at Carisi, she was met with a smile of pride that caused his eyes to crease at the corners.

"Cuff him." (Y/n) spat a slither of blood onto the floor, wiping under her nose once again before she took a few deep breaths.

There was a small flutter of worry sparking within her about the little secret she was carrying, but she was surely fine. He hadn't gone anywhere near her stomach, she didn't fall down flat or hit her stomach and it was only a small hit to her face. The only thing was her blood pressure would now undoubtedly be higher but she should be okay. She and Rafael were going to a scan this afternoon anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What have you both been doing?" Olivia eyed Carisi and (Y/n) suspiciously but with a hint of worry in her voice when they both came into the main office.

First, there was Carisi with his hair slightly dishevelled, his shirt clearly showing he was sweating but the eye catching part was the bleeding suspect he was holding who was spluttering blood with his insults.

Then there was (Y/n).

Slowly dragging her feet behind her, the knees of her jeans were slightly frayed and coated in gravel and dirt and a few hints of blood. There was blood on both her sleeves, blood smeared onto her lips, her upper lip and all under and around her nose. But her cheek was more worrying, her left cheek was swollen and turning rather nasty dark shades and it was causing her eye to blink and wince more often.

"Our friend Dave here broke into Stacey's house then tried to flee." Carisi patted the slightly shorter man on his shoulder before he pushed him to keep walking. He was going straight into an interview room so they could find out what he had been up to and see if he had an alibi for last night.

"She broke my nose, I need a doctor." Dave grunted as he slowly plodded around the desks, being led by Carisi.

"Nah, what you need is to explain cos you're in a lot of trouble. Breaking and entering, assaulting an officer, rape. Come on." With that Carisi was hauling a frantic Dave down the corridor and into an interview room, out of sight and out of mind for (Y/n) and the rest of the team.

"(Y/n)..." Olivia stuck her hands in her pockets and slowly followed (Y/n) who she guessed was going to the bathroom to clean herself up.

"It's just a bruise, Liv, I'm good."

"Besides the point, (Y/n). You can't be giving chase, if he had a weapon or knocked you down or into traffic... I'm responsible for your safety and it's your responsibility to make sure you stay out of dangerous situations right now."

She watched with a sigh as (Y/n) leaned over the sink, dabbing water on her face and rubbing it into her skin and nose to rid the blood from her face. Even touching her nose made (Y/n) wince, it wasn't broken but it was definitely bruised but her cheekbone was swollen pretty badly.

"I know, I... I didn't want him getting away. I get it though, desk duty and talking, nothing else."

"And I get that but these rules are for your safety, besides, I don't want Barba coming in here starting a fight because I let you get hurt. Get yourself off for your appointment and we'll leave it at that."

Olivia thought of Rafael as a close friend and she loved their banter and bickering but she didn't want him coming in and arguing or letting off his Cuban anger at her because something happened to (Y/n). He was protective over her at the best of times and if she had been hurt whilst pregnant when she was meant to be on light duties, Olivia knew he would make a scene.

No one wanted that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turning her head, (Y/n) slowly rubbed her cheek against Rafael's shoulder before letting her head rest back down on his burning chest that had gone back to a steady breathing rhythm now rather than the erratic breathing he had not too long ago when their bodies were entwined.

The tv was softly and quietly playing a classical music channel Rafael had turned on to have some music background before they went to sleep. He hated being on his phone or just thinking when there was no noise in the background to fill the silence. It was nice to have music swirling around the back of his mind whilst his thoughts flooded to the front of his mind.

He could feel the heat suddenly disperse around him and come off of them both in waves despite the window being open to let the midnight air come in. The cover had long since been kicked to the end of the bed, strewn half on the bed and half dangling down to the floor and Rafael couldn't be bothered to pull it back to rest his legs on like he usually did at night. His mind had shifted from being blank with love to now slowly rotating random thoughts through his head that he couldn't shut down just yet. He wanted to sit and reflect for just a while longer.

A soft, lazy smile found its way onto Rafael's lips when he felt a string of peppered kisses being placed on his chest. The sensation tickled against his hot skin and made him feel shivers running down the base of his spine.

Moving his right arm that had been resting behind his head, Rafael lowered his arm until it was draped over (Y/n). He let his eyes fall closed and his hand wander until his palm was resting on (Y/n)'s stomach causing his lips to curve into a brighter smile.

Over the past two years, he had tried to forget about the feeling and motion he was feeling right now with his hand on (Y/n)'s stomach. During their first pregnancy it had been a fixation for Rafael to rest a hand on (Y/n)'s growing stomach, just to feel how it changed almost every day and to feel it swelling just did something to him. He found it magical, almost hypnotic and when their baby girl had started to move and kick, the sensation and feeling was unreal.

Losing her was unbearable, they had to stop themselves from saying certain things, talking about the topic of kids and revert away from stores and such. But Rafael had to suddenly refrain from touching (Y/n)'s stomach and even her waist so neither of them would breakdown and cry.

This was the first time Rafael had started to smooth his hand over (Y/n)'s stomach and draw patterns since finding out she was pregnant. He could already tell the difference even with his eyes closed, he could feel the small change, lip a tiny bump in the road.

(Y/n) continued to pepper kisses over Rafael's chest whilst moving her leg higher that was resting in between his.

It was nice to lay like this, no phone calls demanding either of them to leave their homes and go into work. Nothing that needed to be said between them and nothing that they had to get up to do, it was just them and the peace that surrounded them.

She could feel him shifting and leaning to his left, presumably to grab something from his side table. But after a few moments, (Y/n) could feel his pulse increasing and she could hear his heart beating against her ear. Her tired eyes opened and she propped her head up on his chest to look at him and see what had gotten his attention.

With a smile, (Y/n) moved her right arm from just resting on his chest to wrap it around his torso, hugging him closer to her as if he was about to run away and escape.

"What you looking at, guapo?"

(Y/n) felt her breath catching at the back of her throat for a few seconds when she looked at what he was holding in his hand. Her eyes almost started to water as she stared at the black and white scan photo they got at their scan two days ago.

(Y/n) kept her copy in her bag for now, it would soon be up on her desk when she eventually told the rest of the team about the baby. They had a copy for Rafael's mum and another one for either an album or a photo frame, they weren't sure which yet. But Rafael had one for himself too, and he didn't quite know what he was going to do with it yet, for now it was kept in his wallet so he always had it with him.

It was so strange to have another scan photo when the very limited few they already had were kept in a treasure box or in the frame in Rafael's office. Each of those pictures always brought sadness to their broken hearts, but this one, it filled a small hole.

The photo was a symbol of a new start, a second try. It proved to them that this was really happening.

"I'll be able to tell people soon that I've got a kid, something I never thought about until I met you. Mami's happy, she'd always tell me she's waited long enough for a grandkid."

Rafael smiled through his words but his eyes could barely look away from the photo for long before he found himself staring at the image of his baby once again. He never used to think about a family as something he desperately wanted, sometimes in the dead of night he would wonder if he really wanted to put his work first for the rest of his life. He wondered if leaving his love and family life until later was the right thing to do.

Meeting (Y/n) changed everything for him, he knew that all the waiting he'd done had been for a reason. Now, if someone asked him if he had children or if he knew what it was like or what they were going through, he would relate. He could proudly and happily say that he was a father.

His mother and grandmother had understood he had put his career first, he wanted to make something of himself and show what skills he had and what he could do. But then they started to say that he was losing time, repeatedly telling him that he needed to find someone to settle down with, even if it meant he only got married and didn't have children.

Now they both felt at rest, knowing that he was happy and settled and that he could tell them he felt complete.

"It's happening." (Y/n) whispered quietly as she closed her eyes and laid her head back down on Rafael's chest, squeezing him a little tighter to her chest.

There was still a big part of her that couldn't get her hopes up, she couldn't put too much effort or emotion into this until she knew they were past the point of miscarriage. If they got too excited and prepared or ready and something happened, (Y/n) didn't know if she would get through it a second time.

But she also had to listen to Rafael and he kept telling her that no matter what worries she had, they still had to be a little optimistic. They couldn't go through these nine months expecting the worst and not living in the moment or talking about it or even showing their love for this baby.

"It is, hermosa... does it hurt?"

Rafael gently brushed his thumb against (Y/n)'s cheek where her bruise was slowly starting to turn a lesser drastic colour and the swelling had gone down a lot now.

The moment he had seen her face when he met her at the hospital, rage had seeped through his veins until (Y/n) thought he was going to lash out at someone or explode. Explaining that she was hurt in a chase wasn't the easiest thing for (Y/n) to do and she had gotten the lecture she knew she would of taking things easy and being on light duty.

At the same time, Rafael knew (Y/n) was only trying to do her job, being on lesser duties couldn't be very nice or fun, he understood that.

"Not anymore."

Rafael didn't respond, he simply pressed his lips to the top of her head and earned a squeal from (Y/n)'s lips when he flipped them over so he was hovering above her once again. His dishevelled hair was spiked up at odd angles and stuck to his forehead but that only made him look even more appealing.

The cheeky and almost sinister grin on his lips that showed his teeth made (Y/n)'s chest flutter with anticipation as she felt him moving to rest between her legs.

Neither of them were going to sleep tonight.

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Under the Knife - Part 8

“Under the Knife” - Part 8

My Masterlist - Here

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Hannibal Lecter x Reader, Will Graham x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2,700-ish

Key: Chunks of text in italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts. Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, Violence, 

Summary: You are Will Graham’s sister who works with him at the FBI. When you get offered a job promotion, life starts to change. Some changes for the better; Some for the worst.

Author’s Note: This is my first Hannibal piece and I am proud of it. There aren’t too many stories for Hannibal, so I figured I would add to the collection.

This does take place in some happy medium where they are all alive and work together. Sort of a happier season 1 era.

This is beta-read by @theeactress​, but please let me know if there is something that we missed or that we should look at again! 

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Tag List: @fruitloopzzz @theeactress @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @sj-thefan​ @fuck-your-bad-vibes-dude​ @ntlmundy​ @a-person-unlabled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was the first day in awhile that you didn’t feel any intense pressure weighing down on your shoulders. You walked into your office, prepared to have another day of trying to figure out the puzzle that was the Virginia Scalpel. But as soon as you shut the door, you realized that you didn’t have to worry about that anymore. It was a strange relief that you hadn’t ever felt. 

Although Jack’s tactical team still hadn’t caught Henry Urik yet and you were unsettled by him still being out there, you weren’t as scared as before. The killer that had been teasing you and that had named you one of his next victims now had a name. 

Jack’s team had all of the information that you and Hannibal could give them. You also had an armed agent watching over you and Hannibal until Henry was caught. 

All you had to worry about at the moment was your 1 o’clock lecture on the “stereotypes of gender roles and how they can affect the psyche of an individual,” and then you could take a half day and go take a nap at home. Well, that and your dinner with Hannibal tonight. But even then, you weren’t as worried about that as you were about Henry still being out there.

Your lecture went by quickly, even the students seemed to understand everything rather easily. Only a couple asked a few questions for clarification after your presentation. Even with those students stopping you, you got out a bit earlier than anticipated. Looking at your watch, you realized that Will was going to be leading a lecture soon.

I should probably talk to him. And I do really miss those dogs.

After stopping by your office to grab your bag and close up, you weaved through the familiar hallways to the nearest coffee machine, getting two cups, making one how you like  and one for Will. With both cups securely in your hands, you found the lecture hall he was assigned to today. You softly walked in, seeing your brother completely entranced in something on his laptop. Before you made it all the way into the room, you cleared your throat in effort to grab his attention. It worked. As soon as he located where the noise was coming from and saw you, he stood up and walked around to the other side of the desk.

“(Y/N)! Hey! Wh-what uh… What’s up?” You knew he was trying to not seem nervous, but you could see through him. You took a few steps closer and offered him the coffee cup, not seeing the probably empty one already on his desk. You tried to make your voice as comforting as you could.

“I was passing by and decided to stop by to ask you something.” 

“Is everything okay?” Will was hesitant but took the coffee, looking all over you for any sort of tells as to what is going on.

“As okay as they can be.” You shrugged, not feeling anything in particular, which only added to Will’s worry and confusion.

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?” 

You pause, seeing the visible uncomfortableness and growing fear in Will’s features. You quickly try to find a way to calm him down while getting to the point of why you’re here.

“Do you think the dogs would mind their favorite aunt stopping by for a drink tonight?” You couldn’t help the small smile that crept across your face as a slightly bigger one formed on Will’s. You could hear the extra air he let out in his chuckle, an obvious sigh of relief. 

“I think they would really like that.” His smile faltered a tad as he looked down to his hands. He spoke quieter, as if unsure how you would react. “I would really like that.” 

As he looked back towards your face to see your reaction, you met him with a sincere and reassuring smile. 

“Good. Me too.” Another huff of relief from Will. “I have dinner plans with Hannibal tonight. But I was hoping I could just drive over afterwards for a nightcap?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll have the good stuff ready and waiting for you.” Will took a breath in, trying his best to be careful with his words. “And, if that nightcap ends up turning into a few, you could crash at my place.” 

Again, Will looked as if you were a powder keg about to explode if the wrong button was hit. You just closed the gap between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his torso, his finding their place around you. 

Your brother was not fond of physical affection from a majority of people. But you were one of the very few that he not only tolerated, but sometimes felt a need for. 

“I’ll pack an overnight bag just in case.” You pulled away and tapped your hand on his upper arm. “For now, I am going to go home and take a nap.

“Jack’s letting you go home early?” Will was genuinely surprised. Jack was never one for early dismissals.

“Well, considering I did finally find out the Virginia Scalpel’s real name last night and got all my work with that wrapped up, I think Crawford is a bit more lenient on what I do today.” You casually mention as you shrug.

“You did what?!” Will’s expression was one of shock and pride. A handful of students filed in behind you. A playful grin graced your face as you tapped his arm one more time before taking a couple of steps backwards.

“I’ll tell you all about it later tonight. I need to get ready for this assuredly anxiety-inducing dinner and you have a lecture to get through.” Will gave you a slightly annoyed look as you winked and walked away, talking over your shoulder. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

You couldn’t see it, but Will just shook his head and let his smile linger a bit longer before turning his attention towards his class. As much as he worried about you during this case, he was very proud of his little sister. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got back to your apartment, you tried to take a nap. Key word: tried. Your brain would not calm down enough for you to fall asleep for even a quick cat nap. The coffee that you got before meeting with Will probably didn’t help.

After tossing and turning for 30 minutes, you gave up and decided to make some tea and get some cleaning done around your place. You hadn’t been able to do laundry thanks to the case, so you finally started to chisel away at that pile. 

Once you had put the last load in the dryer, you looked at the clock and saw that it was 5 o’clock. You had an hour before you were supposed to be at Hannibal’s. Might as well take my time and get ready.

After fussing with finding a comfortable but semi-formal outfit to match Hannibal’s aesthetic, you quickly packed a backpack with some overnight things. You were sure you’d end up talking to Will for longer than you both intend, meaning you’d either be too tipsy or too tired to drive home safely. 

With the last of your laundry out of the machine and plopped onto your bed for you to put away later, you grabbed your keys and headed out the door. Preparing for anything to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As per usual, you pulled up to Hannibal’s five minutes early thanks to taking some backroads. You put the car in park and took the keys from the ignition, but you didn’t move. There was a tightening feeling in your chest. You tried to close your eyes for a moment and take some deep breaths. 

Dinner won’t be bad. Hannibal is a trained psychologist. If anyone is going to be able to guide the conversation into a calmer place, it's gonna be him. Plus you know damn well that you miss spending time with him that isn’t plagued by confusion or the fuckin Virginia Scalpel. You two are adults. You can talk about literally anything and be okay. 

So why am I still anxious?

Because you had your eyes closed, you didn’t see Hannibal approach your car. So when he opened your door, you instinctually jumped back and gasped.

“My apologies, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you alright?” 

“No. It's fine. I’m fine. I was just taking a breather.” Hannibal nodded, sensing that you didn’t want to expand on this further. So instead he held out his hand.

“Shall we then? I have some salmon in the oven that is awaiting your judgment.” He let one of those small side smiles of his grace his face in an attempt to comfort you as you reached for his hand and he helped you out of your car, shutting the door behind you once you got your purse. 

Unlike usual, Hannibal led you to the dining room as opposed to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for you. After you settled in, he poured you a cup of water and a glass of wine as he spoke.

“Everything is prepared, I just need to take the salmon out. I won’t be long.” You just thanked him and nodded as you took a sip of water. 

Within a couple of minutes, Hannibal was walking in with two plates that looked just as artistic and beautiful as he normally presents. The main part was a rather large piece of salmon with thin lemon slices laid across the top, paired with a mix of halved grape tomatoes, white asparagus, and the same twirly romanesco broccoli that you had tried the last time you had dinner with Hannibal.

“This looks wonderful, Hannibal. Thank you.” You said as he sat down. The two of you started to eat, both of you trying to figure out how best to start the conversation that you knew was coming. Hannibal was the first to speak up.

“Are you planning on going somewhere?" You were caught off guard, not expecting this to be the starting point of your talk with him.

"What makes you say that?"

"I couldn’t help but notice the slightly overstuffed bag in your passenger seat. I assume it's for staying the night somewhere other than your own apartment. And while you’re always welcomed to stay here if you wanted, I don’t think you would without asking me first."

“Then you would be right. I wouldn’t impose on you like that.” You went to take a sip of your wine as you looked at Hannibal. He gave you a look that said that he knew there was more that you needed to share. “I talked to Will briefly today and we made plans for tonight. We are finally going to talk this all out. The bag is for in case I end up getting too tired and sleep on his couch."

Hannibal gave a slight nod before cutting off a piece of salmon and continuing the conversation.

“I'm sure Will is happy to finally have a moment to talk with you and share his side of the story."

“I'm sure he is.” You took a sip of your wine, bracing yourself for the unavoidable topic. “How about you, Hannibal?” Hannibal looked towards you and raised a curious brow. “What's your side of the story?”

Hannibal took a sip of water before turning his body slightly more towards you, giving you his full attention as he finally spoke on what he had been thinking about saying for days now.

“Will came to me rather distraught after you had said that you were going to accept Jack’s offer. It was my idea to insert myself into Crawford’s team as background support. And while my original intention for joining the Scalpel case was to ease Will’s mind, I couldn’t ignore my own reasons.” Hannibal reached a hand out and grabbed yours, you felt your cheeks warm at the unexpected contact. He was so gentle with you as he spoke sincerely.

“After seeing Will crack again and again under Crawford’s intense force on the handful of cases that they worked on, I was worried you would also be damaged under his leadership. I cannot deny that I do truly care about you and your wellbeing. And with this being your first time handling a major active case, I wanted to be there in case something were to happen to you.”

You weren’t sure what to say. Hannibal had not only told you that it wasn’t Will’s idea to have him follow you, but he admitted that he cared about you. The trouble was that you couldn’t tell if it was the type of caring that you had secretly longed for with a more romantic relationship with Hannibal or if it was similar to how your brother cares about you. You wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t fit together and be coherent enough for you to vocalize.

While you struggled to figure out how to respond, Hannibal lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of your hand softly before putting it down and reaching for his glass of wine, raising it in your direction.

“Here’s to you and your impressive mind. Without you, who knows how long it would have taken to find out the true identity of the infamous Virginia Scalpel.” You raise your glass and gently tap his, finally able to form a coherent thought again.

“I’m sure Crawford would have just asked for your help or maybe even Will’s if I hadn’t said yes. I got lucky with this one.” You took a sip of your wine, savoring the sweetness of it as you started to slice the fish on your plate. “Honestly, I don’t think I would have figured it out without you inadvertently helping me.”

“How so?” Hannibal questioned before taking a bite of salmon.

“When you came to check on me after the lab meeting, I went on to say something about being your friend and colleague but not your patient. And that’s when it hit me that we weren’t looking in the right demographic.”

There was a moment of silence as Hannibal thought about where to go from this information.

“And how do you feel now?” You finished the bite of food that you had and looked at your water cup, not wanting Hannibal to see into your eyes even though he was already watching you rather intensely. Trying to read all of the nonverbal indications you were giving. 

“I feel okay. Well, as okay as I can be. That insane pressure of figuring out who the hell Henry Urik is was bigger than anything I’ve had to deal with since I started working with the FBI. But there is still the fact that Jack’s team still hasn't found him that has been really messing with me. That and the anxiety of finally having this talk with you and my brother.”

“I hope that some of that anxiety has worn away now that we have resolved things between us?”

“Some. But I can’t help but be worried until everything is settled.” 

“You now know that protecting you was my intention when I joined the Scalpel case. I don’t intend for that promise to end with this case being closed.” Hannibal’s hand casually found yours again, making you focus even more on what he was saying (if it was even possible to focus more.) 

“I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you feel safe and taken care of.”

His warm hand was instantly comforting and you hadn’t realized how much you craved physical affection from him, even in the smallest forms. Your heart swelled at his vow. 

Before you could fully process what he had said, the click of a gun being armed and a very different voice demanded your attention from the other side of the room. A man with messy red-brown hair cocked and aimed a pistol right at you.

“I don’t know if you wanna make that promise so soon, doc.”

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

As an ISJ yourself, how would YOU describe inferior-Ne experiences (versus some biased intuitive's shallow descriptions)? And not sure of your age, but you come off as having a better grip (ha) over inferior-Ne than other ISJs might. If it's alright with you, can you share any tips or ideas on gently exercising one's low Ne (esp. for those in their early-mid 20's, like myself)? Thank you for reading this!

So to answer the first part, I find inferior Ne is not actually associated with catastrophizing. I definitely do at times think of terrible outcomes that could happen, but it tends not to be tons of them; it tends to be something specific, and possible, and I think that’s just normal levels of being a person and experiencing (subclinical) anxiety. It’s not even unhealthy to experience that as long as you use it to come up with a better plan rather than ignore it or refuse to go forward with plans. I suspect catastrophizing is more unhealthy high Ne.

Instead, the extreme side of low Ne is more a “what if instead of driving to work I just kept driving as far as I could go” sort of deal, an unhealthy “what if I just completely threw everything out and started over.” Obviously I haven’t done that, though I have moved more than a lot of people I know and have been more comfortable doing so.

The healthier side of low Ne is just enjoying weird ideas and fantasy (this is, again, why people who say sensors don’t enjoy fantasy and science fiction are idiots; I almost exclusively consume fantasy and science fiction, because I am not only capable of experiencing reality, I in fact do experience reality and enjoy reading books or watching movies that don’t take place in it) and wanting low-pressure creative outlets. I also tend to in small and not super important ways try something new - I’ve mentioned trying new foods as an example of a thing SJs are actually often more likely to do than NPs, who will gladly move abroad or job-hop forever but who will only eat chicken tenders. If I’m not actually in a hurry, I’ll often take the unknown possible shortcut (which is rarely a shortcut). Essentially, I want novelty in small and safe doses, but I still want it. More generally I tend to start and stop a lot of hobbies and have learned not to feel bad about it; if I like something I stick with it but I tend to jump in and out for a lot of them.

As for using your low Ne, that last paragraph is probably it: seek out new things that interest you but don’t feel bad if you don’t follow through or they’re not productive. Introduce some amount of controlled randomness - go for a walk somewhere you don’t know well, or flip a cookbook open at random and make the recipe on whatever page you fall on, and indulge your creative outlets even if the results don’t seem good or useful or a great use of your time. I think the high Si habit of being reliable and having a routine is a good one, so the goal isn’t to get rid of that but rather just to differentiate between being a reliable person who knows what they like, and being in a rut.

The other advice is one I didn’t really follow well and was just getting out of when quarantine hit, which is when you’re surrounded by lots of new things and get overwhelmed, keep up the small new thing habit anyway as you’ll be happier even if you don’t think you will be. I thought it would be different when I moved last summer now that I was aware of my type and my tendencies, and I still wasn’t - I still didn’t really explore that much, I kept to my old routines and that was about it - and was just starting to break out of that in March. I’ve done a lot of walking around in areas I haven’t been to since, and a lot of new weird cooking and some media consumption, but unfortunately I haven’t been able to do much in the way of meeting new people/exploring museums/going to shows.