#sleepychat

[drdemonprince]

Can u talk about the process of replacing your desire for unhealthy relationship dynamics that were sexually exciting with desire for explicitly negotiated kinky sex? or do I just need to wait for the essay lol

It's not actually in the piece but now that you mention it, it could make for a really strong narrative turning point.

It started by me cheating on my abusive partner with kinky people! I realized at some point during a two-year relationship in graduate school that was extremely toxic that I was so addicted to my partner because I was getting off on the control he exerted over my body and life. I wanted to get away from him, but I felt utterly dependent on how he made me feel, and he was already cheating on me...so I hopped onto OK Cupid and started flirting with some people.

It made me feel good, it made me feel like I could live on without him and build a new life for myself. I had a few fairly vanilla hookups with people at first, and it didn't do much for me, but one of those casual partners became a lifelong friend. Then a sexy, bombastic stand-up comedian who was just coming up in the local scene slid into my inbox, allured by the fact I described myself as shy. He was pushy and hyperconfident, which I liked. And when he asked me what kinks turned me on in bed, the truth came spilling out: Dom-sub.

(I wish I'd had the gall to tell him hypnosis, which had been a lifelong fetish of mine. This guy would prove to be fascinated by rare and niche kinks, but I was too ashamed of my hypnosis thing to tell anyone at that point).

The stand up comedian started domming me after that. He'd make me pay for his cab, throw me over a chair, finger me, and fuck me in the ass hard while biting my back and leaving massive welts. The sex was incredible. But he was also an egotistical 21-year-old with an active heroin addiction (he swore up and down to me that the drug 'wasn't a big deal'), and he started fucking me without a condom without my consent, which was traumatic and to this day is the reason I rarely receive anal sex. Ultimately he became controlling and jealous of my other (abusive) primary partner, and he left me, and then died of a heroin overdose after sending me a few more stray messages recounting good old times.

It was a mess. But I learned a lot about myself through this encounter, and practiced articulating what I wanted for the very first time. I was mistreated, but I also had incredibly hot sex that I still revisit in my mind's eye. I know for a fact that this stand-up comedian reviewed our own chat messages shortly before he died, and that he remembered those times fondly too. I feel bad that he died so young, and was so lost and confused, and I wish that he could have survived long enough to get better and make amends.

After that experience (and after escaping my primary abusive relationship), I got into a very safe, vanilla relationship for many years. I was too traumatized for anything else, and the gentle, passive boyfriend that I found was very healing to be with. But eventually I did get bored with the sex, and his lack of emotional availability, and became profoundly depressed. It was around this time that I started taking Sam-E , an over-the-counter anti-depressant supplement whose side effects include increased libido and a kind of dreamy headspace. On impulse, I started searching for erotic hypnosis play websites one day.

I met several hypo-kinky partners on the site I found, a now-defunct chat site called Sleepychat that would pair hypnotists with hypno-bottoms. One of them was a truly skillful, communicative, and caring partner who built a whole complex hypnotic architecture and series of safeties and triggers in my mind. We are still friends. I had lots of play with lots of people, and started attending a hypno kink convention that just so happens to occur in the Chicago suburbs. I became gradually more comfortable acknowledging my kinks to people, and made lots of hypno-kinky audio files and stories. I had other Doms and owners, and had lots of wild sex here and there. Still, my serious, long-term vanilla relationship limited me.

I only really started searching out formally kinky relationships in earnest in 2021, after ending that vanilla relationship. I've been pretty firmly embedded within a variety of kink scenes since. My taste for hypnosis led me to regular D/s, and to leather and bondage, and to pup play and furry stuff. I've really come alive in the last handful of years. I've learned so much about myself and the many scenes, met so many people, had so much great sex and so much mid sex and been in all kinds of wonderful and toxic and off putting and funny dynamics. This aspect of my life only keeps getting better, and I'm excited for lots of new experiences this year!

damn i just about gave you a full essay right here

[emeraldjulez]

Random Topic: Sleepychat Closing For Good

Sleepychat was the first hypnosis community I got into. I met a bunch of new people and knew the majority of everyone on that chat site for years. It’s unfortunate that they are closing the site down entirely. It honestly upsets me that they are getting rid of it, instead of passing it down to another owner or maybe even passing it back to its original owner, MrMeapify (I mean if he still would want it). It just makes me sad because all of MrMeapify’s hard work to make the site is all going away. Like all that hard work, gone. All for nothing.

“The reasons being, most notably, that it's become more of a hassle for me than any benefits can offset, that I'm losing money by paying for the hosting, logging, and database, and that I'm finally deciding that I have no obligation to keep it running through said hassle and financial loss.“ - Ely (current owner of SC).

Yeah, that’s understandable, the whole money thing. However, there were many bugs on the site and many people left after that and did not support the site as much. Why? Because Ely, the current owner of Sleepychat, did not do anything to fix those bugs. Yeah, he fixed some bugs, but not the major ones. Which made the majority of the supporters leave. Ely tried to make everyone happy by putting out Sleepychat 2.0, because ever since SC started there were jokes about Sleepchat 2.0 but it never came to be until Christmas 2017. However, 2.0 came along with a bunch of bugs because it was never exactly finished. It was originally MrMeapify’s work for SC 2.0, if I remember correctly? (Could be wrong). So when Ely took over SC, he took that idea and made SC 2.0, cool idea and such, but it didn’t go that well due to bugs. Certain bugs were never fixed. 

I mean Ely should have known that taking over a website and being its owner would bring a lot of responsibility. Maybe he did know but obviously, there would be financial difficulties. However, the fact that he did not try to fix anything with SC 2.0 for the year/year and a half it was up was probably Sleepychat’s downfall. 

“I will not be recommending any alternative, as the one I was going to recommend decided to spam ads on Reddit, which I don't agree with.” - Ely

I’m not a frequent Reddit browser but what is so wrong with advertising a new website? I mean I’d get it if it was on a r/sleepychat thing with advertising but if it was just in general on Reddit, what’s wrong with it? This quote is very passive aggressive, it’s hilarious. I know the drama that went down with what he is talking about. Honestly, with how the drama was handled with everyone involved, it was done poorly and very immaturely. This quote leaks into the drama of what happened. It clearly did not need to be stated. I mean to me, it shows how immature and bitter Ely truly is. 

“Call me a horrible human being for not saying sorry, but I no longer feel any attachment to the site or its community, and it's nothing to me but stress now.” - Ely.

Ely is not a horrible human being. Just when he says that he no longer feels attached or interested or invested in the community and that it only brings stress and that’s one of the main reasons why he’s closing SC? It feels selfish, I mean mostly because if he’s not attached or interested in it then why not pass it down to someone else to keep it going? He has had time to think about who he could pass it down to and who would be willing to take care of it. I mean it makes sense that he doesn’t trust anyone to pass it down to but then again if he looked past the drama and actually truly cared about the hypno community, he would have kept SC going and put aside the drama. I probably would have because I put others first rather than putting myself first. I care a lot about people and their happiness comes first to me.

That whole message just shows how much he truly “cared” for the hypno community and his site. He rather would have SC shut down than either pass it down to someone he trusts or put aside the drama that has happened and pass it down to them and move on. Ely is too stubborn and immature to put differences aside and move on. If it truly was a burden on him then he wouldn’t have cared and passed it down to the person he was planning to pass it down to, ignoring the drama that happened between the two. I know the drama that happened, I was there when it happened, so it isn’t like I’m clueless. The drama wasn’t even a big deal, it honestly could have been settled if both parties sat down and talked to each other. That’s why I’m saying that Ely could have set aside the drama and passed it down to the other person. But did he? No, because he has to be arrogant and think that he’s above the other person. Anyways, I just think the whole thing is selfish in my opinion. It’s understandable, where he’s coming from and why he’s shutting it down but I feel like he’s taking himself more so into consideration than the actual community.

The good news that came from the drama? Well, a new site came out from it. It’s like the old SC but obviously has more perks and isn’t buggy. It’s called Dreamychat if you all haven’t heard of it. Emily, the owner of DC, is really nice. She’s an amazing person to talk to :D She’s always willing to help those and is always active so you can always talk to her. The mods are all my friends, except for like one or two I don’t know. But they are very sweet and awesome to talk to. Except for @jonsmisu , he’s a mod there and he is very lame :P lol jk jk <3 I love JonSmisu :P XD he’s my secret hubby, lol jk jk XD I’m glad that there is another site like SC to turn to instead of not knowing where to go specifically. If you haven’t heard of Dreamychat, you guys should check it out. Everyone is friendly there.

I will truly miss Sleepychat and everyone that was on it. Even Ely, even though I didn’t know him on a personal level. I don’t hold grudges and I’m not thinking that Ely is a horrible person, just very immature. Along with the other party from the drama. They both were at fault. Not picking sides. But just analyzed everything and this is what I came up with. I love the mods from SC too, so I hope to keep in touch with them. Anyways, SC was a great site. I’m gonna miss it. It’ll forever be in my heart <3 :D

I personally recommend going to Dreamychat if you all don’t know where else to go after SC closes. I support Dreamychat because it seems more functional and invested in the community... than SC. But anyways, thank you guys :D

If you guys want to read the full message of what Ely wrote for Sleepychat here you go: https://www.sleepychat.com/closure

[hypnogasm]

Was in the middle of a good conversation on sleepychat....

Hypnosis and chill, if you're out there, hmu!

[ellaenchanting]

To be honest I was asking as someone who wants to be hypnotised and find safe spaces (maybe I'll try my hand out as a hypnotist?? idk), BUT your advice was still really helpful thank you! :) <3

Hi!

So this is something I know less about, so I asked my friends @spiralturquoise and @arihi for advice, which I am repeating here:1. Sleepychat is still around and probably an easy way to meet someone, although your quality of trancing and general respect for your boundaries may vary a lot.2. If you are on fetlife, you may be able to find hypnosis Discord servers that are posted occasionally in some of the bigger groups.3. Make a tumblr and make friends with other tumblr people. This works best if your blog reflects your personality in a way that makes others want to get to know you. Write stories/do art/make recordings! Sends asks and messages to other blogs you admire! This won’t lead to hypnosis right away, but often this is a good first step towards meeting people you can work with in the future.4. If you’re looking for online opportunities, @thehypnobunny has some online resources here: https://thehypnobunny.tumblr.com/hypnosis-resources. I’ll also take this opportunity to self promote my own recordings here: https://soundcloud.com/ella-enchanting. 

Thank you for sending me a message! I hope this is a more helpful answer!

If anyone else out there knows of other resources, feel free to respond!

[marnathas]

How on earth do you find someone to do hypnosis with? Part 2, where I actually try and be useful!

It's been a while since my original post on this kind of topic, so I figure I'd revisit it a bit, having learnt a bit more, having had a touch of success, and a desire to actually give some useful bloody info to other people. So let me try and go through the places someone in hypnokink can go to meet other people in hypnokink, and possibly find people to mess about with!

IRL

Let's start with the most obvious, most ideal, and often the most difficult area. Real life. Brutally honest here, good fucking luck if you're only trying this on your own. You're either going to have to have a miracle finding someone else who's interested by complete random (not happened for me), convince someone to give it a go and thus get them into it (not happened for me either lol), or, more realistically, see (hope) that there's a local scene in your area that does meetups/munches/other events to go to.

If there is, you're probably somewhat set! As there'll be things you can go to where you're basically guaranteed to meet other people into hypnosis! Caveats apply that these may not be people you're interested in, or who are interested in you. That's kind of the same with everything, but you're probably looking at a very limited number of people if you're trying to find someone to play with irl, and I can't offer any better advice about that honestly.

If there isn't, well, you're either gonna have to sit around and whinge that there isn't, or step up and try to make things happen yourself. I've definitely written about that at least once, seeing as I did actually choose the latter option.

Of course, that raises the obvious question of "How do I find if there's a local scene?", which I'll cover with some of the other places I'll talk about.

Fetlife

We are talking about kink, so fetlife is an obvious place to mention. Fetlife is basically a social media platform specifically for kink. I'd describe it as a mix of facebook, a bunch of internet message boards, and a dating site. If there's a local scene and events going on in your area, odds are good they're advertising, or at least a bit active on fetlife, just because it's the easiest and largest kinky place to get the message out. There's also the benefit that it's for basically all forms of kink, so it's pretty cool to see what else goes on in your part of the world, and try other things potentially.

That said, I, and many others, don't like fetlife a whole lot, and a lot of hypnokink people are basically only on it nowadays for event advertising, and seeing what events go on that might be interesting, without actually participating much on the site in other ways. The reason for this, is connected to how I describe fetlife as part dating site. There are a LOT of creepy, awful people on fetlife, and it's rather disgusting. If you're looking to meet people, you're probably going to have to wade through a bunch of crap, especially if you're a woman. Most girls I know who've been on there have far too many stories of people creeping on them there and such, to the point where a lot of them don't like the place.

It has its purposes, the events are cool, but it's more of a way of finding out events and such to meet people irl, in my opinion.

Tumblr

We are here. Surprise!

Ok, I'm actually relatively new to tumblr, and I'm not really much a part of the community here. But there's an active hypnokink community active around here with a lot of cool interesting people. That's about all I can say for now without talking out of my arse until I start connecting around more or something.

Sleepychat/hypwatch/similar

These are chatroom sites. Again, I can't say much about these, I know a lot of people who've met people through them and had a lot of fun, but I never used them myself. Moving on!

Discord Right, I can talk a lot about discord!

Alrighty, so discord is a (free) text and voice chat platform, divided into a bunch of distict user-made servers that you can join and be a part of, each with its own set of rooms to chat in, some via text, some via voice (video soon too). The hypnokink community has made a lot of use of discord in the past year or so, especially as a lot of us moved off of fetlife at the start of the year.

There's a few main servers for hypnokink there (with invite links):

Erotic Hypnosis (https://discord.gg/uw3TA45) - This is the big international one

AusHypno (https://discord.gg/B45gR2G) - Server for Aussies/NZ people primarily, as we gathered all our disparate little state communities at the start of the year. I think we're the 2nd biggest server actually now, and run a heap of events along the east coast of Aus from there primarily now.

UK (https://discord.gg/PTEKnWj) - UK-centric server

Scandinavia - (https://discord.gg/wBDrDPt) - Scandinavia-centric server

I'm only a member of the first two, for obvious reasons. But I love the communities there, discord is awesome. I genuinely think it's the best place to go to if you want to meet a heap of people (online), as the servers generally have conversation going at most points in the day, and if you're on at the right time there's large voice chats and stuff to join in on, sometimes some group hypnosis sessions. A lot of people connect through there and play privately too.

The communities there are seriously welcoming, and helpful to any newbies who pop in and ask questions. Just remember that the culture there is generally pretty against playing with random people, so if you're expecting to jump in and instantly play you'll likely be disappointed. I hope this all helps people a bit, I’ll eventually re-visit this as I learn even more of course. I’d like to figure out how to introduce people to hypnosis eventually (as in people who are utterly new to it), and get more used to tumblr. But all in time.

[fayvie]

If you're ever looking for a good online place for hypno, Sleepychat is an alright chatroom

Umm, is it though?

[drdemonprince]

if people are curious about hypno audios where do you recommend they get started?? for context, have never been into the idea until recently in large part due to the asks people have been sending in and your responses and now im just like 👀👀👀👀

you're gonna hate this, but I really recommend starting with an actual hypnotist. An audio file is not magic, it requires a lot of conscious intention and practice in order for it to work, and more than that a familiarity with what a trance state feels like for you, and that's hard to dive into cold without any guided experience. Some in the community might not agree with me here, and that's fine, but I honestly think it's better to find a play partner on SleepyChat or a Discord group than it is to fire up a basic file off of Youtube and wonder if it's working or not. Even better than that is locating a hypnotist in person if you have a local erotic hypnosis scene or any conventions, of course, but that's admittedly even harder to do.

Now I know realistically that a lot of people won't start that way, or that it won't be feasible, in which case I recommend you pop onto Youtube and look for real, not necessarily kinky depictions of hypnosis and what hypnotized people look like. I found it easier to get into the headspace once I understood what the commonly recognized levels of trance are and what a deep or light trance can look like. You can also find some panels and teaching resources on hypnosis on Youtube.

Mark Wiseman is a great figure to get into the work of. I also reallllly enjoy some of Mark Cunningham's stuff (note: the content of what he talks about and has subjects experience is not sfw). Sammi Hypnotized has a ton of real-life demonstrations and files to look into. Material High, FF Productions, and Hypnosis on Display also release a lot of real hypnosis videos. Most of this stuff is pretty horny even on Youtube. But there is more casual street hypnosis type stuff too.

Hell, here have my entire hypnosis playlist on youtube. It's a mix of audio files, depictions of real-world hypnosis, and just porny clips from media.

Outside of what I've already recommended, the Two Hyp Chicks podcast is really informative and looks at a pretty wide range of activities that can be incorporated into hypnosis. One of the hosts, sleepinggirl, has also written books on hypnosis that are quite excellent. Her style is Ericksonian hypnosis, which is not my personal bag, but it may be yours, and at any rate she's a real scholar of hypnotic practice and history, so it's a good place to begin. Just don't give up on hypnosis if the style doesn't suit you. There are many different ways to play with this stuff.

After you have watched hypnosis work quite a few times, you may begin to empathize with the subject's mental state, or just really really want it for your own! That's when you'll be in better shape to try a file on your own. But really, you can try just following along with the instructions of hypnotists in these videos, keying into the sensations displayed by the subjects, and see if you start to feel a little something. A hypnotic state is a lot more subtle at first that most people are able to recognize, unless you're super suggestible or dissociative or otherwise "good" at it, but it's a muscle you can strengthen.

[entrancedmind]

Searching for my Submissive

Hey guys,

Help me out here,

I’m looking for a girl to hypnotize through some sort of relationship. To be honest, I’m pretty tired of going on sleepychat and having folks quit the second they orgasm. I would like to meet someone looking to invest in some long term fun. Of course she wouldn’t have to commit to anything right away, we’ll have get to know one another first, but you get the idea.

Feel free to message me.

Thanks.

[pirate-king-of-trance]

A Smidge About Me

I was tagged by @aliakindomu​ for this. Ok…

Sign: Cancer

Height: 5′7"

Last thing googled: Witcher 3 Bloody Baron

Favorite music artist: DO NOT MAKE ME CHOOSE

Last TV show watched: One Piece!

What am I wearing right now: T-shirt and jeans

When did I create my blog: I’m not sure... Sometime right after I graduated college in 2013

Do I get asks regularly: Nope

What do I post about: This sideblog is for everything hypno-related and NSFW that I want to post!

Do I have any other blogs: Yes, my main blog is atomskdluffy! 

Why did I choose my URL: I came up with Pirate King of Trance on Sleepychat one day, and it just kinda stuck. The Pirate King part comes from the two anime that make up my main blog’s URL. 

Favorite color(s): Red!

Average hours of sleep: On a work night, I’ll usually get around 5 hours. On most weekends I’ll get 8 or more. 

Favorite characters: I repeat, DO NOT MAKE ME CHOOSE. (It might be Monkey D. Luffy, though, but probably not.)

Dream job: Probably an actor! Which is the complete opposite of my current job as a design engineer, but I’ve acted since 10th grade and I’d love to make a career of it!

Who do I want to know more about? TAGGING @maxiedoll @blueeyesjr85 @doll-faced-maia @calamitybrain 

[ellaenchanting]

Do you have any advice for building up confidence. Would really like to use sleepychat or something like that again, but have had negative experiences with people :| Always feel awkward, tho I guess its not my fault if they're aggressive? But I'm also kinda bored.. So any advice for confidence and know any safe places for stuff? Thx :)

My best advice for building up confidence as a new hypnotist is just to do the thing. You don’t have to wait to be confident to be a good hypnotist- you’ll be waiting around forever and true, reliable confidence generally only comes with experience. You don’t have to have read everything or understand how hypnosis works. Don’t worry if you’re not the most amazing, innovative hypnotist at first- know that you’ll likely be an OK hypnotist for a while and that’s a perfectly acceptable goal for a beginner. (I’m still kind of an OK hypnotist after all of this time- but you can still have fun at OK.)

As far as places to practice: I learned outside of a kinky context so some of my advice may not translate well. I always heard to practice on friends and acquaintances and have done some of that- although that’s looked a lot different that the kind of hypnosis I do in kink. Local practice groups hold a lot of great opportunities if there is one close to you: either a munch or even a vanilla meetup. (Sometimes the vanilla hypnosis meet ups are part of nlp meetup groups.) Go to a hypnocon if you can- there’s usually lots of practice opportunities. (I know Charmed is particularly well known for having lots of trance practice available.) If you don’t have people- practice giving suggestions to your pets or doing an induction on a stuffed animal. Practice giving suggestions to inanimate objects- convincing the traffic lights to change or the wind to blow through the trees. Do whatever you need to do to get to the place where the words flow naturally from your mouth.

Does anyone have suggestions on ways to find practice partners online? I know I started a tumblr and met people who were interested in hypnosis- and that’s how I’ve gotten most of my partners. Maybe that would work for you anon?

Good luck! :) 

[ladog14]

It seems that I'm a good hypnotist

I joined sleepychat site a week ago looking for someone to hypnotize me. I found a group of friends that are friendly and trance me. But we moved to a chat server and I learned that people like falling down into a trance. When I bring them under! That's amazing. I found that I hypnotize people a lot more than I get hypnotized. A great confidence boost, but I love to follow down into a trance. So far I had at least 1 subject a day. Some of the people watching me hypnotize people almost fell too.

[drdemonprince]

Lifelong hypnokink anon again. Thanks for replying so quickly, though reading that was a bit bittersweet.

I have reached out to community and that has been good, but while you call Winnipeg a "relatively small town" it's actually bigger than any city in the country I live in. These communities don't exist in-person everywhere. I have found a space online with people relatively local to me who are experienced or interested but the only in-person social events here that I'm aware of are ones that I have been trying to organise myself but it's a stressful and draining burden to take on and my health isn't great as it is.

I have sometimes tried to reach out to people to play or try trance online but have always withdrawn as it's existentially terrifying. I am kind of glad I didn't now as if I had had the same reaction I had with my partner and without someone like them there in person to help me afterwards I might not have ever wanted to try it again. And it remains a terrifying prospect.

And I can say that I am definitely not having a reaction to an intense hypnotic event as we are very much not getting that far. I guess I should be clear the things that we have tried in terms of actual hypnosis is almost completely nonsexual (hand stuck to table and the like) and also mostly not actually working very well. We are still very in the very early stages of dipping our toes into things. This isn't from letting them into my mind, just from letting them into my kink and all the self-judgement that brings out.

Self-hypnosis and audios and such are something I should probably try exploring again, you're right, but have always found difficulty there too. Partially because of the same shame fear and shame reactions which as well as making it hard to engage with at all are not very conducive to trancework, and I think also because unmedicated ADHD makes it difficult to sit down and dedicate my attention to these things. On that front myself and my partner have actually been reading Hypnosis Without Trance by James Tripp as it was recommended to me.

Hey, thanks for the clarifications. It's a good reminder of the limits of my UScentric worldview to hear from someone in a country with no city as big as Winnipeg! Let's see if we can tailor some advice more to your situation.

I would strongly recommend checking out online hypnosis conferences. For where you are at emotionally on the topic, attending virtually might feel a whole lot more feasible for you at this time anyway. Beguiled here in Chicago is a remote conference -- I believe it will be entirely online this summer. You should check it out. I know the time difference might be a pain depending on where you are, but I think it would be a great thing for you to attend.

Pick-up play with online partners from Sleepychat, Discord servers, and other online erotic hypnotic spaces is possible, but the quality of the experience is gonna be quite hit-or-miss, and it sounds like you're too consumed by shame right now to be able to negotiate your own boundaries safely or enjoy the experience. What you should be working on right now is building up more distress tolerance with regard to the stuff that gets you going.

Before I go on, I just want to flag that people hear "distress tolerance" and think it means they need to stop being so sensitive or that it's some personal judgement or whatever, and that's not what that means here. When I say you need to build distress tolerance, I mean you need to practice introducing hypnotic play and concepts to yourself in ways that DON'T leave you crying and sobbing and hating yourself, because that is setting you backward and making a thing you LOVE into an aversive. We don't want that. So let's back wayyyy tf up and take it slow.

Listen to more hypnotic audios and read more hypnotic stories and text-based inductions. There's no shortage of places to start here. Soundgasm, warp my mind, hypnotube, the subreddits, soundcloud, here on tumblr, youtube -- dig around and get a sense of what you like. @knowing-smile's site S.piral.me is also an excellent repository of spirals and sound files (including some by me!), and you can even use them in a VR headset or Google cardboard + a phone for a more intense experience.

Spend time routinely laying down with an audio file in a calm, comfortable space, OR during a rote activity where it would be safe to do so, such as on a walk in a park or while folding laundry etc. You mention finding it hard to experience trance or calm down and focus during solo hypno like this, and that is incredibly common. A lot of people can't really trance to this stuff on their own barely at ALL -- that doesn't mean it isn't a great exercise in exploring the variants of the headspace.

Newbies frequently expect a hypnotic state to be far more intense and obvious than it initially will be. But we all trance all the time throughout the day already -- on the bus, playing repetitive games, during a move that transports us, reading a book, and when we dissociate! Your brain already knows how to trance, trust me, it just might not feel quite as blank and calm as you'd hoped. You can get there, but for now just try to focus your attention and calm your body and go along the ride to the extent that you can. It is not a binary thing, it is a gradient -- and there are waking trances, anxious trances, light trances, and all other flavors that might not feel so intense at first or altogether pleasant, but that doesnt mean you're not doing the thing. It just means you need more practice to get better at honing the skill.

I am glad that you and your partner are reading about hypnosis and starting with simple practice exercises. That's a good idea. You can still be having abreactions even if the trance you are reaching is super light and nothing you are doing is intense! Even just calming oneself down into a trance state can be suuuuper triggering for a lot of people, especially when combined with shame. I think as your partner's hypnotic skills develop, you may wish to incorporate soothing that shame into your hypnotic process itself. They should reassure you that you are safe, and wanted, that this is good, they are happy to be there with you, and that you are sharing in something good for you both together. That might help.

[ellaenchanting]

Hey Ella, Trance question: Have you any tips for improving in hypnosis via text? I'd very much like to, I'm just not sure how...

Hi!

So I’m going to give this question my best try but- in all honesty, text trancing is still fairly new to me and not my personal forte. I’m tagging a whole bunch of people below who will likely have more knowledge/better tips than me.

Here are a few things I do off the top of my head:

1. There’s a misconception that hypnosis has to involve a sleep-like state. Obviously having someone close their eyes and relax as though sleeping is not going to work if you’re doing hypnosis over text. Instead of using analogies to sleep, talk about hypnosis as a state of comfortable, relaxed focus- where you can tune everything out and just concentrate on following the words. Talk about that sense of absorption people experience when they are watching TV or reading a favorite book. (Bonus points if you know your subject well enough to know what flow states they’ve already experienced- feel free to utilize those!) Also- realize that if someone is chatting with you over text, they are already likely in a relaxed, focused state- you can pace and lead the fact that they are already focusing, already staring, and already blocking out other distractions. They are absorbing and focusing on your words long before you really start a formal induction.* Utilize that.

2. You see that big block of text up there on question number 1? Don’t do that. A lot of text hypnosis is about the pacing and rhythm

The words can just flow

in a natural way

from thought to thought

and you can just

Relax

Focus

and breathe

into the moment

as they come and go

as quickly or as slowly

as your thoughts still

right here**

Know that while you’re typing there are going to be pauses- so you can utilize those in your rhythm. I type slowly so I tend to set sort of a drifty rhythm when I am doing text trance. I have a friend who can type quickly and will send a quick barrage of quick, clipped phrases in an overload- so when they give a space their subject really absorbs that particular suggestion. Play around with your pacing- find something that works for you.

Protip: I haven’t mastered this but

You can use the shape your text takes too

To narrow your subject’s attention

So shorter sentences become

Shorter thoughts become

Quiet and still

that just

Stop

( @fallinginward was the one who showed me this, I believe- perhaps they could give a better example?)

3. I know people who will do clever things with font choices: You Focus Here and absorb the words that you don’t notice that you notice. ***

 I know of at least one person who has used the markouts as part of a confusion induction. If you have a pedantic friend, you can also use purposeful misspellings to draw their attention to certain words or create confusion/overload element. Utilize your medium!

4. Get feedback. Set up early on that a person can be deeply in trance and still type and respond to questions (or indicate if they need a modification/need to come out of trance for whatever reason/need to safe word). Not only is this a good safety suggestion, but it also helps you  a medium where you can’t see or hear the person you’re hypnotizing to know how they are responding. You can also set it up so that your subject can type a  response (like a “mmmm” or a smiley face) when you say something that is particularly nice or effective. I’ve been on the receiving end of this suggestion and it is really nice to be able to indicate what is working for me in such a clear and non-interfering way.

Feel free to ask questions. Feel free to set up a 0-10 scale and have the person indicate how deep a trance they feel like they are in. Feel free to set up and use yes sets. 

5. Speaking of safety, set up that a person will easily and comfortable come out of trance if their internet connection dies. 

6. Set up the idea that a certain letter is going to send the person deeper into trance. You don’t know what it is- and they can feel free to select one consciously or let their unconscious mind pick one for them. But every time they see this letter, it’s a cue for their unconscious to send them a little deeper into trance. (I think I stole this from @theleeallure, I’m not sure?)

7. Set up suggestions around pauses. “And while I type there may be times where there’s a space or a silence. And I don’t know if you’ll use that time to read and re-absorb the last words I wrote, making them more and more true for you,  or if you’ll just use it as an opportunity to sink further into that quiet, peaceful space.” (Or, y’know- something better than that.)

8. I’ve done a thing where someone was mindlessly typing a mantra over and over while I fed them suggestions to focus on. That was a nice effect even if I don’t think it’s the best idea to help someone  absorb complex suggestions. (It’s a nice bit of overload if nothing else- good for setting up suggestions you’ll give in earnest later.)

Thank you for the question @entrancedmind! I’m going to tag a whole bunch of people here who I think will have much better answers than me: @sebsteerpike, @erogenousmind, @fallinginward, @banana-pie-gaige, @soundshypnotic, @mr-prism, @spiralturquoise, @vivehypno.  I know a bunch of hypnosis folks got their start in Sleepychat or other IRCs so I’m sure there’s a wealth of knowledge and technique out there! Feel free to respond or tag me and @entrancedmind in a separate post if you have tips!

*Even though this is true, you want to make sure you’ve negotiated in a way that both parties are comfortable with before you start inducing trance- even if you are being sneaky about your actual induction.

**And I’d be curious what percentage of my readers found that effective vs. which percentage found it really annoying. I occasionally turn into a really confusing slam poet of a hypnotist.

***Be more subtle than that, btw. I kind of hate myself right now.

[ladog14]

Well I seem to be a trance junkie

I started chatting on sleepychat and fell in trance quite a bit. But after a bit of hypnosis that wasn't one sided. I mean listening or reading pre-recorded messages so I could trance. Well I seem to fall faster than before to the pre-recorded trances. Another thing I noticed is that on the sleepychat site there is this trigger that's popular. When someone goes into a trance they type "I fell", but ends up "ifel" most of the time. When I have to type "I fell" I find it that I haven't fallen into trance until I sent the message. And I fall faster then I expected for something so simple. 3rd thing I noticed is that when I'm trancing and the hypnotist wants a specific feeling from me at some point I find that I get an unexpected reaction. Like yesterday I was being conditioned to feel extremely horny, I find myself shaking as if it was cold out. I felt warm at the time. Another one is when they condition me to be happy I find that I get an adrenaline rush. The trance stays tho.

[drdemonprince]

and idk man the way the internet has become sanitized of adult content in recent years has been a profoundly lonely thing, the enormity of which i didnt understand until after a good year or more of it sinking in. i used to think i was a completely unloveable freak doomed to be disatisfied my entire life because i have like freaky weird interests, and then on tumblr and a few other sites (pour one out for sleepychat) i found a whole vibrant community of people who i could talk to and share content with and experience pleasure with in an utterly freeing affirming way. it made me feel like i was okay, and was gonna be okay and like i wasn’t evil. and now. like there are still ways to find people and i am still friends with many of the folks i met then, but the veneer of shame covers everything again, the internet is so puritanical and shaming and disney fied and even though i dont agree with the messaging i constantly see that implies that like, expressing your desires is somehow damaging or abusive to other people, it still fucking gets to me, because i did believe that shit for years  

and then there’s the more general phenomenon that porn bans have robbed all of us with bodies that deviate from the norm the opportunity to see ourselves reflected and celebrated, both as desirable and just in a completely neutral desexualized but still naked way. like.others have already written about this but seeing naked trans bodies on tumblr that were not being presented in an othering or purile way was so important for me. and seeing fat people share photos of themselves, and disabled people share photos of themselves, was equally important