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cathyparrlyn · 5 years ago

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We’re all just mirror shards

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Hey everyone! It’s No One here, or perhaps you now know (if you have read a certain lovely, beautiful, baby tief’s post) that my name is Maddy. It’s great to finally post this next part, first update of 2020! Woo!....

Yeah, I know, it’s been a while. I’m sorry for that, but not only am I working on future chapters and a special writing project (some of you might have already heard about it, oops-), but like, school. Ugh. But don’t worry, I have plenty of content to give you guys, so I shouldn’t fall too behind with my updating schedule!

I want to shoutout two people today. First off, one of my writing friends, @justonemoretheatrekid who is super sweet and has helped me with my bi panic, so thanks friendo! I enjoyed chatting with you! :3

I also want to give a special thanks to another one of my writing friends, @toomanyfamdom for not only helping me edit this sucker (legit the only reason I was able to post today. Bless her soul for putting up with my comma crazy piece.), but also for being the sweetest and best baby in the world. She makes me a proud mama. :3 love you baby! And thank you for not joining in on the “(censored name) for the pole” chant. I know how much you like to troll me tho, so I guess will see what happens next time. Lol. <3

Also, good news and bad news!

Good news! This chapter has the “read more” option! Bad News! It cost me all the pretty and colorful fonts. ;-; Also, it won’t let me edit my draft from my iPad now as I did the function on the computer. So like... I can’t fix it. :(

So now I have a dilemma. Which should I use, the read more function or the colorful and pretty fonts? Please reply down below if you have a preference. Anyways, enough with my long ass author note!

Without further interruption, the chapter! Woo!

Word count: about 2,212 words.

Warnings: Cursing, bullying. (Also, Anne being a useless lesbian gremlin and Cathy being a bi disaster. OWO UWU)

Enjoy~

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Part 11

Annie Boleyn

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…………………………………......Recap………………………………………

“Sorry about that, I’m just so fucking tired of bullshit,” Anne muttered, snapping Cathy out of her thoughts.

"Huh?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Cathy was a dumbass. She had to be. How else could she have fucked up so badly with her words? They were her thing! But with Anne, all she could muster up to say was ‘huh?’ Huh! Ugh, she just can’t with herself right now.

What’s worse, this is serious. Anne looks like she needs someone to talk to, Cathy can be that person, but not if she’s a disaster.

Parr wants to be there for Anne. She craves to develop their relationship, for them to get closer. To be able to share inside jokes and small smiles with each other. To have long conversations and calling each other late at night just to rant because they know the other will listen. For the comfort of knowing that she does, in fact, matter to Anne.

Right now she felt farther away from her goal than ever. Looking up, she saw an indescribable look on Anne’s face, the only thing she could note was the fear in Boleyn’s eyes as she held herself. An uneasy feeling washed over Anne as she realized she might have said too much around Cathy. She was nervous. Cathy couldn’t believe it. Anne was scared of her own opinion, and that worried Parr. Boleyn was speechless, not knowing how to respond. It was painful to see this side of her. Yet Cathy couldn’t help but stare. This new side drew her in, and Parr couldn’t stop herself from questioning more and more about who Anne really was. And what could have possibly happened to the Boleyn girl to make her feel so mortified that she couldn’t even express her own feelings.

Now Cathy was scared. She couldn’t just stand there and wait Anne recover on her own. No, Catherine wants to help her, she needs to help Anne.

So with a deep breath, Cathy had made her decision to keep moving forward with the conversation. She refused to make Anne start things, this time she’ll make the first move. For Anne’s sake.

“Hey, are you alright? I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”

“No, no. It’s stupid, just, please. Forget about it.”

Cathy felt as if she was stabbed in the heart after hearing that statement. Anne was amazing, smart, talented, and said some of the most interesting things Cathy has ever heard. And here she is now, saying that her feelings are stupid.

Cathy doesn’t know who made her feel like this, but they are going to pay for it. Yet, that is for another time, right now Cathy has to focus on comforting the Boleyn girl.

“Hey Anne, we’re friends right?”

“Well, yeah, I would like to think so.” Anne tentatively mumbled. She expressed a blatant insecurity that Parr would reject the idea. But why?

Parr wanted to further analyze this side of Anne and try to figure out what might have happened to her, but she couldn’t. Not right now, when Anne needed a friend. No, especially now since Anne needed a friend, someone to be there for her, to reassure her things were okay. That is what Parr needed to be right now. Her friend.

Cathy smiled, bumping their shoulders together. Hence, grabbing Anne’s attention as Parr stared at her with a look that Anne wasn’t used to seeing: patience and love. With a gentle squeeze reminding Anne of their connected hands, Cathy let the Boleyn girl bask in the show of affection. Anne deserves to enjoy this moment, to feel comfortable with her own thoughts. What’s more, she deserves to have someone to listen to her. Cathy can very well be that person. All Catherine had to do was prove that she would and could be there for her. So she spoke up, determined to help Anne no matter what it takes.

“Then there you go. Your opinion matters to me, Anne. As your friend, I don’t think this is stupid. Not one bit. So please, don’t feel afraid to talk to me. You have a wonderful voice, and I truly think it should be shared with the world.”

Cathy observed as Anne stared at her in shock. A blush formed on Parr’s cheeks as she noticed a sudden change in the Boleyn girl. Tension had quickly left Anne’s face and was now replaced by a small, soft, genuine, and breathtaking smile. Really, Cathy could go on about the beauty of Anne’s smile, but she was rather focused on something else. It was way more important than her feelings. Gratitude, that’s what Anne’s expression conveyed instead of the fearful look she wore mere seconds ago. Anne gently squeezed Cathy’s hand back, returning the affection as she pulled Cathy in so they could be in closer proximity. The action cause both girls heart to race as they were lost in the moment, staring at each other in a comfortable, knowing silence. Both were thinking the same thing.

She does see me.

Finally after taking a few deep breaths, Anne was the first one to break the silence.

“Thank you, that… that really means a lot Cathy.”

“Of course Anne. Do you, um... Do you want to talk about it?” Cathy gingerly asked.

Anne looked down as she contemplated what to do. After a few seconds of thinking it over, she slowly nodded her head.

“Alright, I’m here to listen whenever you ready.” Parr, acknowledging that she was looking down, squeezed Anne’s hand again. Cathy hopes it would reassure Boleyn that Parr planned on being there for her. Seeing that Anne had mustered up the courage to look up at Catherine and start her explanation, Cathy thinks it’s safe to say that it worked.

"Ok, so, our generation is stupid, right?” Anne started off.

“100% agree, continue please.”

“It’s just, no one cares about others' stories. Make believe or real, every story matters. Yet we cast them aside and hold an egocentric viewpoint that mentally and physically tears others down. And I’m so fucking sick of it!”

“Of the kids in the halls?” Cathy hesitantly asked.

“Of basically everyone! They all piss me off! Like, no one even understands why I read, the majority of those people don’t even think I can read! I’m nearly eighteen, for Christ's sake! How would I be in an advanced English class if I couldn’t read?”

“I don’t know, kids are stupid.”

“I know, but… you’re the first person to understand this and believe me…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Anna won't shut up about how I can't do math, Kitty doesn't like poetry and always whines about me speaking ‘gibberish’ when I rant about it, and the rest of the school thinks I text shit like, 'dat waz fun' smiley face, winky face, kissy cat." Anne rolled her eyes. "It's just..." she pursed her lips, then looked at Cathy and gave her a small smile. "It hurts after a while, y’know. So it's extremely refreshing to finally talk to someone who appreciates writing."

"I totally get that." Cathy nodded.

"Really?" Anne stared at her as if she had two heads.

"Yeah... actually, at my last school, I was teased for reading so much," Cathy elaborated honestly. She doesn't know why, but she felt a need to tell Anne this. It was as if that Boleyn girl elicited a strong desire for Parr to talk about herself. She wanted to know all about Anne, and for Anne to know all about her.

Even if it was about her embarrassing loser past. It's not like she can escape it, only accept it and move forward.

"What the hell is wrong with this generation? That's stupid!" Anne groaned.

Well, at least Anne agreed with her about the matter.

"They called me novel nerd," Cathy bluntly stated.

"... Fucking Alliteration." Anne said after muttering what Cathy assumed was French swear words. She then pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah." Cathy bitterly laughed.

"Want me to fight them for you?" Anne offered, holding her fist up and pretending to punch the air to show she was being serious.

"No, but thanks... it's just like you said earlier, it's nice just to be comfortable enough to talk about these things with someone and know that they respect it." Cathy smiled at her.

Anne lifted Catherine's hand up a bit and gently stroked it.

"Cath, I got you." The gentle action caused Cathy to blush. Anne then looked up with a spark of mischief. "Let's run away to live in a library."

Cathy couldn't help but let out an unlady-like snort. A bit embarrassing, yes. But luckily for Catherine, Anne adored it. She couldn't stop herself from adoring it even if she tried.

"Sounds like heaven." Parr grinned, finally managing to calm her laughter.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, but after those few seconds of silence, they burst into a laughing fit.

Catherine then looked up at Anne. Something caught her attention about her suggestion. The way she referred to something, or rather, herself.

"Cath, Huh?" She raised an eyebrow, looking Anne over in a teasing manner.

It's time for some playful payback.

She noticed how Anne flinched, and for a quick second, looked embarrassed, but it quickly washed away and was replaced by her usual confident expression.

"Oh, yeah. I just think it's cute and, um, it suits you. Is it alright if I call you that?" Anne asked.

Cathy couldn't stop the dorky smile that was spread across her face. Just hearing Anne give her a nickname just like how she had given one to Katherine, warmed Cathy up inside. She was growing closer to Anne each second and her interest for the girl continued to grow.

"Sure, but only if I get to call you nicknames too!" She agreed.

"Go for it, you got two slots."

Catherine pondered for a second. What should she call her?

Catherine couldn't help but giggle at the first thought to come to mind.

"Okay, first one has to be gremlin."

Anne's smile dropped and her eyebrows furrowed.

"You know what Cath? Fuck you." She huffed, a small pout was plastered on her face. Ergo, causing Cathy to burst into a giggling fit.

After a few seconds of giggling and admiring Anne's pouty face, Cathy managed to calm down.

"Okay, um... Next is.... hm."

It took Cathy a few seconds as she looked Anne up and down. She didn't actually need to check the girl out, she just wanted an excuse too.

The action, however, had caused Anne to blush.

Then it hit Cathy. Her lips quirked up at the idea for what to call the Boleyn girl. Sure, it was simple, but so was Cathy. So it’s fine. No, Parr will do one better.

It was perfect.

"Annie," Catherine said, squeezing Anne's hand and beaming at her with a warm smile.

Anne's happy expression fell after hearing that. Cathy noticed the change in expression.

"Um, is everything alright?" She asked.

"H-huh? Oh, um, yeah. It's swell." Anne nervously looked away.

Cathy stared at her worried, but Anne refused to show any sign of pain. Instead, she just gave Cathy a fake smile and avoided eye contact.

There it is again. The change in expression, the change in tone, the change in the atmosphere around her. All of these changes thickened the air and added to the mystery of Anne Boleyn.

Who was she?

Just a second ago, she was all bubbly. But with just a single name, she instantly became a timid sheep. She wore nervous, wide eyes that were surveilling the surroundings as if she was watching out for a predator, fearing for her life. However, the only other person there was Cathy.

She did that. She did this to Anne Boleyn. She doesn't know how, nor why, but she did it. An god, did it feel awful.

Cathy could only do what she thought was right at the time, to check on the girl.

With a gentle squeeze initiated by Cathy, Anne's eyes slowly looked up. Her breathing was a little heavy and her face was a calm, serious. Cathy's anxiety grew with each lurid second passing. Finally, after making it all the way up the excruciating trail, Anne's eyes met Cathy's.

For a brief second Cathy swore she saw the corner of Anne's eyes filling up with tears, and her skin was slightly paler than usual.

But it disappeared in seconds as she hastily swapped her expressions, as if she was trying to hide something. She... she was trying to hide herself.

Anne had put back on her mask, yet it was too late.

Her perfect image had already broke in front of Cathy, not that she planned on telling Anne that.

So with a heavy sigh, Cathy acknowledge that she needed to do something.

"Anne I-"

"Stop it. There's no need for that." Anne interrupted her in a cold tone, yet she still had a "smile" plastered on her face.

"Huh?" Cathy looked at her confused.

"Really Cath, I'm fine." She muttered loud enough for Cathy to hear her.

Cathy knew that wasn't the case. It most certainly wasn't the case at all. Cathy wanted to convey to Anne that she knew this, and that she wanted to help her. She wanted to stop right there, tell Anne it's okay not to be okay, perhaps even give her a hug.

But she didn't know Anne. They weren't close. Anne said it herself, they just met recently. And although Cathy was connecting with her, Anne might not be as into it. She doesn't know. Boleyn is still a mystery to her, one she has yet to uncover.

So how could she break through Anne's mask? She didn't have the right because she doesn't know her. At least, she doesn't know her yet.

"Okay. If you say so...." she reluctantly dropped the subject.

Mark Cathy's words, she'll read Anne's backstory one day. Cathy might cry, she might laugh, hell, she might not know what to think. But she knows that she'll be there for Anne when the time comes.

Until that day comes, this is all she could do for now.

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Tag list: @sarahzarahh @annabanana2401 @lesbabe6 @aveasorae @qnneboleyn @whenallthestarscollide @its-totes-gods-will @canadianharrypotter @epitomeofchaoss @obliviousasheck @heeleys4feeleys @liliocelotepremium @six-is-awesome @thatbolxyngirl @toomanyfamdom @the-queen-bee-is-here @a-slightly-cracked-egg @thatonedisaster-gay @aywdaimie @thegaywhokindalikesmusicals @everything-insanity @babeebobo @one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff @wicked-books-101 @33o9 @agustjnk @i-really-dont-use-this-anymore Please reply if you wish to join the tag list or if your username changes so I can update the list :D

#parrlyn #parrleyn #anne boleyn #catherine parr #katherine howard #anna of cleves #jane seymour #catherine of aragon #six the musical #wajms #cathy is a bi disaster #Anne is a useless gremlin lesbian #I Just can't anymore #these two are the center of my UWUniverse #sad bi hours #Its going to get angsty soon

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 6 years ago

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Mount Everest Ain’t Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 16.) - The Final Problem, Part 2.

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like a scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: Inspired by Formula and Nate Growing Up by Labrinth, composed for Euphoria's original soundtrack.

Warnings: PCP usage, sexual harassment, murder, non-depicted death, violence, gun usage

Word count: 2 K

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9 PART 10 PART 11 PART 12 PART 13 PART 14 PART 15

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Tagging: @charmed-asylum, @jeyramarie, @pantherxrogers, @analia-analia-analia

Before you do anything bad for the first time, there's that... Feeling. That sick feeling in your stomach which you can feel, but you can't name.

You know. That feeling before you push your cat with its tail. When you puke in your toilette the first time because you drank for the first time. Before you lit up your first cigarette. Before you take the first pill.

It's anticipation mixed with pure fear of the unknown. That's what it is.

And you never had that feeling before going to Fezco's. You never did - it was always the same neighborhood, same people around and your smiley face who opened up the door. But that night was not only freezing your ass.

That night was different. You could feel it in your bones. It was the car you didn't know in front of his door. You watched it with a frown. You didn't know that car.

Could it be another lady who was visiting your boyfriend? That's why he told you that he can't meet you that night under your window? Bullshit. Fezco wasn't capable of having such a big secret hidden away from you. His soul was too pure for that. But... Who was it then?

You didn't know what to do, so you only sat on your bike, watching his door with an open mouth. You felt like you should turn around on your bike, ride to Rue's and please Leslie if you can have a sleepover. No, you couldn't do that either. Your temple was bleeding and Leslie would ask.

You couldn't tell on Fran to Leslie; she would tell your ma and the hell would start again for Fran.

Jules's house. Yeah. That was probably the right choice. Sneak through the back door to her room. She wouldn't be mad at all, you knew that.

But before you could make a move, you felt as your feet froze as the door to Fezco's apartment slowly opened up. It felt like knocking on hell’s door.

At the moment when your eyes made contact, yours and Fezco's, you could see immediate pain and fear. And you started to freeze down even more. He was shaking his head and mouthed breathless and voiceless 'no'. You didn't have any idea what should you do.

It was two men coming out of his apartment. One with tattoos all over his ugly face, the second one was young with something that could be barely called a beard. Your mind connected two dots immediately - it was the seller. Mouse, as Fez and Ash called him. And then Mouse's eyes fell directly on you, sitting on the bike in the middle of the fucking street without having anything to say or do.

Fez could see your temple bleeding, the blood slowly dropping on your cheeks and then the grey sweatshirt and he knew something must've happened to you - because otherwise, you would respect his wish to be alone. But that situation happening around was just fucked up. Ultimately.

"Oh, bro who dat?" - Mouse asked you with a smile. Jesus, that man was just disgusting when he threw a smile at you. You were not far away from puking at any given moment. But you didn't puke - your body was just still frozen down. - "Sweetcheeks. Girl, ya know 'em?" - He asked. Fez was just shaking his head harder at that moment.

But your body almost automatically nodded.

"Looks like I have to be 'ere longer for sweetcheeks, Fezzy." - He laughed and pointed at you. - "Came 'ere. We'll give yo somethin' warm to drink, right, boyos?" - Mouse laughed in a devilish matter.

“Nah. I'm... I'm good. Thank you, kind mister. I will just go home, I just needed to ask something. It can wait.” - You took a firm hold on your bike. Fezco knew that since Mouse has seen you, he won't let you go so easily. Mouse was a psycho when it came to young girls.

Fez still remembered how did Mouse act around with Rue, but he was seriously worried about this time. Because that was a seriously fucked up situation.

“Oh, sweetcheeks. Happiness can’t fuckin’ wait. Come ’ere, we will give yo some.” - He waved his hand at you, so you slowly walked to the door, locking your bike on the terrace.

Mouse had heard about you - he knew you were Fezco’s girlfriend and he even knew heard that sometimes, you help your boyfriend with delivery service. Nobody knew who told on you - but everybody seemed to be aware. Which was terrifying the fuck out of you.

When you entered the door, Mouse put his hand over you and the only thing you did against it was locking your gaze with Fezco. Your eyes were almost empty, terrified and dead.

“Can you... Um... Lend me something? I'm pretty cold.” - You asked Fezco and he looked at Mouse. It was an unsaid question. You needed that you need to ask as calmly as you could until you could cry in Fezco’s arms. Just as you did at your parent’s house when you find out about his source of money. Mouse agreed with a nod, smacking your ass and laughing out loud.

You froze for a second, but then you ran after Fezco into his room, behind some closed door.

“Yo need to be calm and do as I tell ya, ok?” - Fezco whispered and slowly put his rainbow sweatshirt onto your chest. - “I don't ask ya to. Ya need to listen to me. Or we’re all dead.”

“I didn't mean to...” - You took his cheek to your palm, but Fezco was too nervous to even look at you straight. He didn't want to kiss you when his stomach was about to puke. - “I didn't mean to fuck this up, but Fran pushed me on a fucking cabinet and I didn't know where else I should go. I fucking freaked out.”

“We’ll talk when da fucker is gone.” - Fezco answered and left you all alone. So you put his sweatshirt over your head. He was seriously mad at you - and you could tell that he’s scared. For you or of Mouse? You couldn't tell. But one thing was for sure.

His, Ashe’s and your lives fere threatened by that man in his living room.

When you slowly entered the room, they were in the living room - Fezco and Ash sat on the old sofa where you had first slept and Mouse and his friend were on the opposite one. They weren't talking - they were just watching each other and there was a strong tension in the air.

“I think yo can go now, Custer. Make some space for da youn’ sweetcheeks.” - Mouse smiled at his friend. The only thing you could contrate on was your raising heartbeat and dizziness spinning your head. You looked at Fezco, but he was too occupied watching Custer. - “I think that da little one should go too, Fez. Let adults have some fun, am I right?” - He sat up and lit up a cigarette, offering you one as well. You carefully took one and let him lit up it as well since Fez didn't even look at you.

He was all sweaty as his blue eyes watched Custer standing up. Ash looked at Fez with a frown, but Fez nodded and Ash left - he knew where should he hide and wait if the shit goes down. But Custer had left the flat completely and only three of you were sitting in the living room.

Fezco was sweating the living hell out of him at that point, looking at you. Mouse basically let you sit halfway on the couch and halfway on his lap. You were ready to throw up any minute. As you smoked slowly, you closed your eyes and wished for it to end.

Your boyfriend’s eyes didn't leave Mouse’s hand smoothing your upper thigh up and down, teasing him to snap. But you two knew really well how to act cool when the shit around you was going down.

“How do ya do dat, hm?” - Mouse asked Fez and smelled the right side of your neck.

“Do what?” - Fezco answered back, playing with his knuckles nervously.

“Ya have such nice chicks around. Youn’, beautiful play toys. First dat girl with messy hair, now sweetcheeks... How?” - Mouse laid back, leaving his palm on your upper thigh, marking you as his property. That was riding Fezco wild.

“They are a family. Not toys.” - Fezco mumbled. The blood was boiling inside of him, but your eye contact was telling him that he has to stay calm. That you love him and that you trust him with everything you have.

“Tell whatever ya want.” - Mouse chuckled wickedly and searched his pockets. - “I promised you happiness, didn't I?” - He told when you looked at the small plastic bag in his hand. Oh, you did know what it was - the drugs Fezco sometimes bought when you were over at his place. Those hallucinogens.

“I think I'm good. Thank you.” - You smiled politely and tapped the cigarette out. But no wasn't an answer for Mouse. He caught your upper arms tightly, his grip was hurting you so much that you almost started to cry.

“I think yo want to enjoy a bit, sweetcheeks. Yo boyfriend won't let ya?” - Mouse looked at Fezco and slowly leaned to your ear. You closed your eyes firmly and prayed for him letting you go. You didn't want any of it. Then you slowly opened up your eyes and Fezco wasn't even breathing at the moment. You haven't any idea of what you should do next.

So you took it.

And it was the biggest mistake you have ever done in your life.

It was extremely fast as you slipped down to the world of fuckery, that shit was too strong for a non-addict. And both Mouse and Fezco knew it. But at that moment, Fez failed with protecting you. Your mood wasn't good - so the trip could be barely good either.

You saw some scary bullshit just after a few minutes, you got up, held your head, cried and tried to run away. Huge spiders were coming after you, the floor was slippery under your feet and it was cracking, falling apart. You cried and begged Fezco to help, not having a single idea of what is happening.

A sharp sound muttered your cries as you watched a dead body falling next to you. You saw as the blood was slowly dripping onto the carpet below it and screamed because you felt as your body is slowly being covered in that hot, weird something.

Somebody tried to catch you, to stop you, but you cried out loudly and gripped the door, running away into the freezing night. Somebody was calling out your name, but you heard as if you were under the surface of the water. And you didn't stop until you knew that Mouse is not going to follow you there and until you couldn't hear it anymore.

Your drugged body slowly connected the two dots after a long night - somebody was shot at Fezco’s apartment. There was a fucking dead body. And you felt as your heart dropped, as you fell on your knees and cried even louder than before.

It was Fezco. Fezco was shot down. So you ran further and further away, at least you thought you that you are running even if you were crawling in the mud, slamming and slashing into the buildings, falling down on your knees.

You were running away from all of it - those crazy fucking spiders who after you, from the blood covering your hands, arms and legs, slowly drowning you down, you just ran.

But you were afraid that you won't be able to make it at all.

#rue bennett #rue euphoria #fezco #fezco euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria #fez euphoria #fezco x reader #fezco imagine #Mount Everest ain't got shit on us #the final problem part 2.#mouse euphoria #custer euphoria

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zanybohbot · 5 years ago

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The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever!

The Outsiders: Squit's Sh*ttiest Birthday Ever! (Episode 6)

Published: 11-04-19 - Updated: 11-08-19

It's Squit's 29th birthday and he is planning a dinner party but it clashes with a more popular bash so that his only guests are Pinky, Brain, Wakko, Pesto and Brain's exchange neighbour Patrice. This is the 6th fanfic episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Rated R for Strong Language/Mature Themes/Sexual Language.

Part 1: About Squit's Girlfriend

(The main 5 are at Squit's house with Patrice, a 22 year-old French exchange neighbour. Squit is using his computer.)

Brain: [about the French exchange neighbour] I dunno, he seems a bit weird. He asked me if I've tried the "Sleeping Beauty?"

Wakko: Oh, it's so awesome.

Brain: What, you know it?

Wakko: Yeah, you sit on your arm 'til your hand goes dead. 10-15 minutes is normally enough. And then when you jerk off, it feels like someone else is doing it.

Brain: How do you know these things?

Pinky: Oh, everyone knows the Sleeping Beauty; that's so 1984.

Brain: Is it?

Pinky: Fuck yeah, my cousin's brother invented it. He and his bros used to be called The Dead Hand Gang.

Squit: They had a gang based on masturbation? Oh there's nothing gay about that.

Pinky: Yeah, well he's in the Air Force now, so how gay's that?

Squit: Still quite gay. (Charlotte's online on Skype) Oh, shit, Charlotte's online.

Wakko: You asked her along yet?

Squit: No. I don't know if I should.

Brain: Go on, it'll be great.

Squit: Really, do you think so?

Brain: Yeah, it's cool, just say, "Hi".

Squit: (finished typing) Done it. Oh, wow, she's come straight back. She says, "Hi, whassup". Smiley face.

Pinky: Now, ask her the fuck out!

Squit: No, can't just jump in, not the way things have been with us.

Brain: At least have to charm her a bit first.

Squit: (finished typing) I've written "Just hanging out with Brain and his French exchange". Okay, another smiley face. Can't bring myself to send a smiley back, but I could write "lol" if I absolutely had to.

Pinky: Do that. That'll be dope as hell!

Squit: "LOL! Anyway, it's my birthday. Come for dinner, please?" (silence) That pause isn't good.

Pesto: Calm down, it's only been a second, dummy!

(Another short silence)

(Charlotte's offline)

Squit: (annoyed) Oh, for Christ's sake! She's gone offline rather than answer whether or not she'll come to my birthday?!

Wakko: Maybe the connection dropped?

Squit: Nope, it was back and forward, back and forward. Then a question about dinner and she's gone.

Pinky: Look, she didn't say, "No" did she?

Squit: No. But she did hang up.

Brain: C'mon. I'm sure she'll be there.

Squit: Well, not sure, but y'know.

Anya: (came downstairs) Oh, hello, Brain.

Brain: Hey, An.

Patrice: Bonjour.

Anya: (giggled) Oh, my goodness, you're French.

Brain: This is Patrice, he's my sort of French exchange neighbour. Patrice, this is Squit's sis.

Anya: Hello. Well, I'm just gonna play tennis. Ha, don't know why I mentioned that. Bye.

Brain: See ya.

Squit: Thanks, bye!

Wakko: See ya lata.

Pinky: Peace.

Anya: Au revoir, Patrice.

Patrice: Au revoir. (She leaves the house.) Your sister is very ze sexy.

Squit: Uhhh...what?

Patrice: She has ze sex. (walks away awkwardly)

Pinky: Well, damn! He's a strange one. Fuck me, right?

Wakko: But he's French, they're sometimes weird?

Squit: Oh, god, please don't be racist.

Wakko: How's that racist, I'm just saying that he barely says anything and when he does speak it's always about sex. Just like all French people.

(Squit N/R: The next day was my birthday. Whilst I was making my final preparations, including putting on shit music girls would like, Patrice had been busy too.)

Patrice: I just had a really nice, er tug, thinking about your mother. I think some went on the floor. Sorry. (Shows Squit the liquid on his red sofa.)

Squit: (sarcastically/disgusted) Great, thanks, Patrice. (The door rang) I'll get it. It could be Charlotte. (He opens to see Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko instead of Charlotte)

Pinky: Yo, bender. (Drinking Red Bull)

Squit: (looking unimpressed) Oh.

(Squit N/R: Happy birthday to me. It was 8.30pm on my 29th birthday in July 19th 2006, and my party was in full swing.)

Brain: Where's your plus one anyways, Pinky?

Pinky: Not coming. She got a modelling job, had to fly to Paris. Barmaid by day, supermodel by night.

Squit: (sarcastically) Sounds likely.

Pinky: Where's Little Miss Stuck-up Cock-tease?

Brain: Do you mean Billie?

Pinky: Uhhh...yeah. Duh.

Brain: I don't think Billie will make it.

Pesto: Why not?

Wakko: Is something up?

Brain: No, it's nothing like that. I just sort of didn't invite her in the end.

Pinky: Wow. You really are a pussy, why am I not surprised?!

Brain: Hey, at least I tried!

Squit: (slightly annoyed) So lemme get this straight, there are gonna be no women here then? None at all? I don't know why I bother.

Pinky: Well, I wouldn't say there will be no women.

Pesto: Yeah, not no women!

Squit: (confused) Wait. So there are some women coming?

Wakko: Maybe, maybe not.

(Pinky, Wakko and Pesto are smirking as their mischievous.)

Squit: (still not looking unimpressed) Look, it's very clear from your smirking faces and tone of voice that actually there are some women coming.

Pinky: We got you a special birthday treat.

Squit: Did you?

Wakko: (takes a deep breath) STRIPPER!

Squit: What?!

Wakko: Yup. (laughs)

Squit: Have you really bought a stripper?!

Pinky: Relax, she was only $5 million!

Squit: How have you paid for that?!

Wakko: We haven't yet, we'll just have a whip round when she gets here.

Brain: A whip round?! We don't have $1 million each!

Pinky: Nah, it's...oh...shit, you are absolutely right about dat, my paycheck doesn't come out till tomorrow at noon. Sorry, bruh.

Squit: (sarcastically) Great, so until a $5 million angry lap dancer turns up, we are without female company. Gee, thank you very much for my 29th birthday, I really appreciate it a lot.

Pinky: Okay fine, if ya gonna be savage about it, I will pick some girls up from outside.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, please! Pick me up some random girls from the street for me.

Brain: Or, we can go to Buster's party, it's happening right now.

Wakko: Yeah.

Pesto: As a matter of fact, why aren't we there in the first place? It will be much better than this shit joint.

Squit: (sarcastically) Why thank you very much for that remark right there. (grabs a bottle of wine) More wine!?

Pinky: Ohhh...I bet it reeks of ass in there.

Squit: Ohhh...and I bet it's not.

Pinky: Yes, it is.

Squit: No, it's not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: Not!

Pinky: Is!

Squit: (getting angry) Not!

Pinky: Well, I don't see why NOT! (furious)

Wakko: Guys, please. Calm down.

Squit: Look, I put a lot of effort into this! I made a really nice coq au vin...

Pinky: Cock of WAT?! (laughs)

Pesto: Bruh...your fuckin' high.

Brain: You don't help yourself, do you?

Squit: Oh yeah, I see, 'coq' au vin, very mature! It actually means chicken in wine, doesn't it, Patrice?

Patrice: Quoi?

Squit: Well, it does, and it doesn't mean cock up my ass, or cock on my head, or...

Pesto: ...you got some cock in the back of a van.

Squit: Or that I got some cock in the back of a van! Look, all I wanted was a nice, civilised and sophisticated birthday party. Like we did back in 1993, when we first began out acting career back at Warner Bros. Just something a little different from the usual parties - maybe even the sort of party that girls are impressed by! OK, so there aren't any girls here, but why don't we at least attempt to have a sophisticated conversation? We are in the 20s and were not teenagers anymore. I know it's a tall order, and I'm not expecting sparkling, but let's give it a go, eh, fellas, since it is my FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

[everyone sits in chastened silence for a while. Then...]

Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: No not now, like when you were younger, how much did you get up there?

Pinky: Your fuckin' high.

Brain: Why were sticking Lego up your rear end?

Wakko: Not much, just rectangular ones. Unless, you wanna come to my house and prove it.

Squit: (stands up) FINE! Fine! Let's go to Buster Bunny's house!

Pesto: FUCK YEAH!

Brain: (whispers to Squit) Are you sure?

Squit: Oh, please. It's the last thing I wanted to do. She's not coming, is she? And a skillful raconteur like Wakko is wasted on just us.

Pinky: Nice one. Now I get a proper three-course meal, hoe, puh and a V!

(They all leave Squit's house.)

Part 2: A Long Journey

(Squit N/R: So we headed into the night, and found Pinky's three courses sitting on a fence.)

Pinky: 'Allo, 'allo. (Points at 3 girls drinking wine on the street) Here they are.

Wakko: Nice.

Brain: I dunno. They look a bit rough. Are they drinking in the street?

Pinky: Dirty. I love it!

Squit: Not quite the sophisticates I had in mind, but at least they're female.

Pesto: I think you should go over, Pinky.

Pinky: Nah, B should.

Brain: What? Why me?

Pinky: Alphabetical. You got that bent look girls go for anyway.

Brain: Fine, if you're gonna be a douche, you go!

Pinky: Sorry for being "a douche"! Look, are ya gonna go or not!?

Pesto: Just go, B, it's freezing out here.

Squit: Come on, Brain. For me? For my birthday? Remember?!

Brain: (sigh) God, fine. (He comes up to the girls) Hi, there.

Girl 1: What ya fuckin' say!?

Brain: Uhhh...hello.

Girl 1: And what?

Brain: Uhhh...I wanted to ask you to a party?

Girl 1: I'm 13.

Brain: (in shock) Oh, sorry. I didn't know.

Girl 2: And I'm 11, you scum.

Brain: Yep, there's been a mistake, so...

Girl 1: Like looking at little girls, do ya?

Girl 2: Like getting 'em to parties where you can touch 'em, do ya?

Brain: No, God, no. Look, I'm going now.

Girl 3: Pedo!

Girl 1: You fuckin' pedo!

Girl 2: Yeah, run, you pedo.

(Patrice strokes his dick right in front of them.)

Brain: What the fuck, Patrice?!

Girl 1: Ewww! I'm gonna get my fuckin' brother on you!

Girl 3: Motherfucka!

(The others run away.)

Girl 1: That's it, run away, pedo boy!

Girl 2: Keep going, pedo! Keep walking, you fuckin' pedo!

Pinky: (sarcastically) Nice one, Brain.

Brain: Me?! It was fucking Patrice who pissed them off in the first place!

Pinky: You tried to scum them up, scumbag!

Brain: (grabs Pinky's snout with anger) I'm not in the mood for this, just warning you!

Pinky: "Ooh, watch out, Uncle Brain might give me a special bop with his stupid pencil!" Look, you're being awkward as fuck! Girls don't love dat shit!

Brain: (let's go of Pinky) Whatever!

Squit: (reads his text) Oh, fuck.

Pesto: What's for pudding, Squit?

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, I dunno. Just a middle-aged woman demanding $5 million!

(The message from a stripper that says "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!")

Wakko: Oh, shit.

Pinky: What are we gonna do?

Brain: I think we should go.

Squit: (sigh) Yes, fine, I give up. Let's try to get in to Buster Bunny's.

Brain: What about your dinner party?

Squit: Forget it. You can lead a horse to water but can't stop it sticking Lego up its ass.

(Patrice started pissing in the street for no reason.)

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake, Patrice, don't do that!

Wakko: God, Brain, he's a nightmare! We can't have him scare all the hoes away at the party, let's ditch him.

Brain: I'm looking after him, I can't leave him stranded in a strange country.

Pinky: Well he comes from a strange country!

Squit: Brain, for once, Pinky and Wakko are right. Patrice is weird and boring. Do you really think girls will be impressed when we turn up with that?

(Patrice is still pissing.)

Brain: Okay. Probably not.

Squit: Let's just leg it while his back is turned. It's now or never, B.

Brain: OK, fuck it!

(The others run away from Patrice.)

(Squit N/R: So we ran away. Yep, ran away. Something I hadn't done since John Cook discovered wedgies in 8th grade.)

Wakko: Crap! I've got a stitch wedgie. I need to itch!

Squit: That should be enough.

(Patrice was running from behind.)

Pinky: Fuck! He's behind us!

Wakko: No way!

Squit: Run! He's chasing us!

(Patrice is now next to them still running.)

Wakko: Holy fuck, he doesn't give up easily!

Squit: What does he think is happening?!

Pesto: I think he's caught us up.

Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, good spot, Pesto.

Patrice: Brain, why we run?

Brain: Uhhh...I don't fuckin' know actually!

Patrice: You don't know?

Brain: Yeah.

Patrice: So we stop?

Brain: Yep, probably. Good idea.

(They stopped running.)

Brain: (sigh) Let's just go to the party.

(They are walking down the street to Buster's house.)

(Squit N/R: So after trying and failing to outrun a boy in Cuban heels, we headed for Buster Bunny's party, which we definitely wouldn't get into.)

Pesto: Who's gonna ask if we can come in, Squit?

Squit: I dunno, why are you asking me?!

Pinky: Outta the way you Kwik Shit Shitters, I'll do it myself!

(BUZZER DOOR OPENS)

Bull Gator: What?

Squit: Hello, Bull Gator. I'm Squit.

Bull Gator: Sorry. You can't come in, there's too many already.

Squit: Look, we'll be no trouble, I promise. I mean, look at us.

Bull Gator: Fine. One of you can come in.

Squit: One, five, there's hardly any difference, perhaps we could negotiate...

Bull Gator: No. (points at Patrice) Him. He can come in. (He lets him in)

Squit: Oh, right, well the thing is, Brain will have to come in, too, he's supposed to be looking after…

(Shuts the door.)

Squit: (sarcastically) Great. So we can add Patrice to the growing list of people more popular than us.

Pesto: DAT'S IT! (As he attacks Squit)

Pinky: (looking through the window) Fucking John's in there! And he's with a girl! He's got his hand on her tit!

Wakko: This is too tragic.

Brain: Holy shit.

Pinky: And Charlotte Big Jugs is in there.

Pesto: (as he finishes beating up Squit, leaving him with a black eye and bruises) Nice! (laughs)

Squit: (pushes Pesto away) Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Time for Plan B.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, right, there's a Plan B, is there?! Plan A was so brilliantly devised I wouldn't have thought we'd need a Plan B! What is it?! Climb over a fuckin' fence?!

(The scene cuts to the Buster Bunny's fence near his backyard.)

Squit: I can't believe we're actually doing this!

Pinky: Don't shit yourself. It's only a fence, it won't bite.

Squit: Yes, Pinky, except I'm not worried about it biting, I'm worried about breaking my neck.

Pinky: Come on, it'll be sick, climbing and shit.

Squit: Will it tho? There must be another way.

Pinky: (looks at the backyard) Ah, it's full of puh. Give us a push, Wak.

(They all climb up the fence and jump into the backyard, except for Squit.)

Squit: Guys, c'mon, get a grip! I'm just not made for climbing, y'know? Maybe one of these panels is loose. (he saw a small gap in the fence) There's a gap here! (he gets into the backyard through the gap but struggles.)

Pinky: Jesus, did you even bother to lose weight at all? Just look ya, maybe that's why you're struggling!

Pesto: Come on, Squit. Just hurry up!

Squit: Huh? (He gets dog shit on his sleeve of his white suit) Oh, for Christ's sake!

Wakko: Why's he always gotta be different?

Pinky: Just hurry the fuck up, tubby, everyone's looking!

(Everyone was looking at them as Bull Gator came along.)

Bull Gator: The hell's going on?

Squit: Oh, hi, Bull. (he got out) As I was saying, it's quite important we look after Patrice.

Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?

Squit: Yes, I have. But ask yourself why? That you've excluded us from this party because of some vague rules about popularity is ridiculous. Although it looks like we climbed a fence and crawled through dog shit, what we've done is challenged your social apartheid.

Bull Gator: You weren't invited 'coz you're not on the list.

Squit: That makes sense too, I suppose.

Buster: (he came to the backyard) The hell's going on? (saw Squit, Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko) Guys! Long time so see!

Pinky: Nice to meet ya, bruh!

Buster: Welcome to my party, make yourselves at home! (looks at Bull Gator, angrily) Dude, why didn't you tell me about this?! (leaves)

Bull Gator: I dunno, they weren't on the list! (looks back at the others) God, if you're that desperate then just ask. But take that suit off before you go inside. (leaves)

Squit: Sweet, nice one!

Brain: He's right about the suit tho, it stinks.

Wakko: Oh, bruh, that is rank. It's all up your sleeve, look.

(Squit takes off his suit which it leads to the others laughing at his black vest he was wearing underneath.)

Wakko: Oh, Christ! (laughs)

Pinky: What the fuck is that?! (laughs)

(Pesto laughs hysterically)

Brain: Oh, my God. (holds in the laugher)

Squit: (annoyed) It was a present from my mom, okay!

Brain: And you've worn it?

Pinky: She been getting gift ideas from Pesto's old man?

Pesto: My dad's not bent!

Wakko: Honestly, that's not a good look.

Squit: Well, we've just gatecrashed a party that Big John was invited to, so none of us are winning the cool prize.

Wakko: But you are losing by a mile.

Squit: Hmph. Not for long. I'm gonna find Charlotte.

Pesto: Upstairs getting fucked, most likely.

Squit: Pesto, I've told you she's not like that! (pause) I'll check upstairs first.

(They went inside the house.)

(Squit N/R: The best thing about your birthday is everyone has to do exactly what you want.)

The Final Part: Worst Birthday Ever!

(Squit N/R: With this in mind, I went to find Charlotte.)

Plucky: (mocking Squit) Nice shirt! (laughs)

Max: (mocking Squit) Yeah, good look, briefcase.

Skippy: (mocking Squit) Someone's stolen your sleeves, boy!

Squit: (embarrassed) Yep, nice one.

Little Beeper: (mocking Squit) Where's the rest of N'Sync?

Squit: Retro, but a good one.

(Meanwhile, Pinky and Brain fight about who's using the bathroom first.)

Pinky: C'mon! Let me go first, you know I'm desperate.

Brain: Ha-ha! Unlucky. (shuts the door)

Pinky: Don't be an ass! Seriously, c'mon, bro, I'm bursting!

(Billie came along.)

Billie: Oh, hi, Pinky, are you waiting?

Pinky: Yeah! I might piss my pants any minute now.

Billie: Oh.

Pinky: Won't be too long tho!

Billie: Oh, right. I didn't know you were friends with Buster.

Pinky: Oh, no! We climbed over a fence.

(Billie looking confused)

Brain: (comes out of the bathroom as Pinky went in) Billie, hi.

Billie: Hi, Brain, how are you?

Brain: Good, you?

Billie: Yeah, pretty awesome.

Pinky: (comes out of the bathroom) Jesus Christ, Brain, what the fuck have you done in there?!

Brain: (confused) Uhhh...

Pinky: Have you been eating cat food again?! Oh, God, you've left skid marks down the bowl too! Nasty-ass!

Brain: (embarrassed) Uhhh...Billie, I didn't. I only went in for a piss.

Pinky: Oh, God, I can taste it.

Brain: (angrily) PINKY!

Billie: (disgusted) Okay, I might go upstairs now. (goes upstairs)

Brain: No, don't. I was only peeing. It was only a pee! I promise I didn't leave skid marks! (looks at Pinky, angrily) You fuckin' asshat! Why did you do that?!

Pinky: Your welcome. (Slams the door)

(Squit N/R: OK, so things weren't going exactly to plan. But if I could just find Charlotte, I was confident it would still be a birthday to remember.)

Squit: (he opens the door to see Charlotte in the bedroom) Oh, hi, Charlotte, there you are.

Charlotte: (shocked) Squit!

(Squit N/R: And I was right.)

Squit: (concerned, seeing Charlotte having sex with somebody) Uhhh...the hell's going on?!

Charlotte: Uhhh...please go away!

Squit: Time out, fella! You're not alone now. (he looks under the covers to see who it is, he noticed that it was Patrice) Oh, Patrice Salut.

Patrice: Salut.

Squit: (shocked) Wait. Are you two...?

Charlotte: (slightly annoyed) Seriously, what are you doing?

Squit: I thought we could do it together, y'know.

Charlotte: Squit, I don't know why you're doing this. And what are you wearing?

Squit: I've got a bottle of champagne at home, and I remembered when we first met we had champagne, as it's my birthday I thought maybe...I'm sorry, is he touching you right now?! (saw Patrice touching Charlotte)

Charlotte: Look, maybe we'll have a drink later.

Squit: (slightly upset) Yeah, later, of course. (he was about to leave)

Charlotte: Oh, Squit? Could you turn the light off?

Patrice: No, leave on.

Charlotte: OK. See ya, Squit.

Squit: See ya. (shuts the door)

(Squit N/R: Great. And I'd rather hoped the singlet was the worst birthday surprise. Meanwhile, my friends were making the most of finally gettin' into a cool party, by standing in a corridor, not talking to anyone, doing jack-shit.)

(Squit goes downstairs to see the others.)

Brain: Did you find Charlotte?

Squit: (upset) Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. Upstairs being fucked by Patrice!

Pesto: HA! Knew it.

Wakko: Ooh, unlucky!

Squit: Can you make him stop, please, Brain? As a birthday present?

Brain: Sorry, but no means no. That's just too weird.

Squit: Yeah, you're probably right. Let's just go home.

(Squit bumps into Newt.)

Squit: Oh, hi, Newt, I'm just going but if you were looking for Charlotte, I think she's upstairs.

Newt: (angrily) Fuck off, you prick!

Squit: (nervous) Thanks. Have a fun night!

(They all leave the party and walked down the street at night.)

(Squit N/R: So, ironically, it was Newt who gave me the best gift this year, a savagely beaten French perverted sicko.)

Brain: Holy shit! What if Newt kills him?

Squit: (annoyed) Good!

Brain: His parents will go satan on Newt's ass tho if Patrice is injured!

Pesto: (laughs evilly) Nice!

Pinky: Well, fuck 'em anyway, you'll never see him again, so what!

Brain: I meant to drop him off back at Paris and I...

Squit: (getting angry) I'm sorry, do you wanna go to France?

Brain: What? No!

Squit: Well then shut the fuck up! What about me, huh?! It's my birthday and I saw Patrice trying to mount Charlotte! The fucking baguette-eating dickhead frog!

Brain: Jesus Christ, dude. That's a bit racist.

Squit: Well he made me racist! He was racist back when he said he hates Irish-Americans, I mean c'mon, what did we do to you!?

Wakko: Did you get to see her boobies tho?

Squit: No, Wakko!

Wakko: (in disbelief) Ahhh...y'suck. Why am I not surprised?

Squit: Oh God, what if my birthdays just get worse and worse from now on?! What'll happen next year?!

Pinky: You get AIDS and die at the age of 30?

Squit: I'd have to have sex for that to happen.

Wakko: Or fuck a monkey?

Squit: Technically, that still counts as sex.

Brain: Or drink from the same cup as Pesto's dad.

Pesto: Fuck you, my dad does not have AIDS!

Pinky: Son, your dad is so AIDS, he's the one who gave it to your siblings!

Pesto: (furious) You take that back!

Pinky: That's what your siblings said to 'em. NARF!

Wakko: C'mon, bro, let's get back to yours. I'll let you beat me at Pro Evo.

Squit: Thanks, I just hope this night couldn't get worse than this.

Girl 1: (from the distance) That's them!

Newt: (from the distance, furious) What did ya say to my fuckin' sister, you fuckin scum!?

Girl 2: (from the distance) Fucking pedos!

(Newt and the girls started chasing them.)

Squit: RUN!

Pinky: Again?

Brain: Oh, shit!

(They started running as Newt and the 3 girls are still chasing them.)

Wakko: Split up, he can't get us all!

Pinky: He's got a fucking cricket bat! See ya around, bitches! (hides behind the car)

Brain: (pushing Pesto away) Pesto, go away!

Pesto: (pushes Brain back) Ayy, coo off!

Squit: This is the tin hat. Worst birthday ever!

(Squit N/R: So my birthday, or dog shit (Bull Gator: And you stepped on dog shit?), singlet, heartbreak day, as I've come to think of it, was over. It's fair to say it hadn't been the best. But I had learnt one important life lesson. If you go around to Wakko's, don't play with his Lego. EVER! (Wakko: How much Lego can you stuff up your ass?/Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!)

THE END!

I hope you enjoyed the 6th episode of The Outsiders. Thx. See ya lata! Peace! ;)

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

2 notes · View notes

strawnarrries · 6 years ago

Text

Back To You

Summary: After years of being broken up, you and Niall are both seniors in college and want to see if you can work things out again.

Requested: yesss

POV: 2nd

Warning(s): very smutty!

Niall has always been the cocky, dominant type of guy. All throughout high school, he would always be very protective and very dominant over you. He never liked when you talked to boys, or texted any of your guy friends. If there was any boy that talked to you or even looked in your direction for more than a second, he’d scoot closer to you or put an arm on the back of your chair, letting everyone know you where his. He was always in control of you; he always had to confirm your outfits and where you’re going. But you loved him and didn’t know any better. Throughout your entire relationship, people always told you how he didn't deserve you and how you needed a man who treats you like a princess. They said you needed someone who doesn’t treat you like their pet but you were so smitten with him, you thought he treated you well, so you always shook it off and put it aside. Then college came and it got worse. You met a lot of new people and Niall was overly protective and that’s when you started to realize, everyone was right.

It hurt. He wouldn’t allow to you do the things you wanted to do or go to parties you wanted to go to. He held you back from a lot of the college fun that you could’ve had and you were sick of it. You dated for about 4 years before you had to draw the line. It hurt so bad but you knew you deserved better than what you were getting.

*** Flashback ***

"'m just not happy anymore, Niall."

Tears fell from both of your eyes as you sat next to each other on his dorm bed.

"I can change." he begged, trying to take hold of your hands that sat in your lap before you groaned, standing up from the bed and taking a couple of steps before turning around to look at him.

"Niall, I talk to ya 'bout this all the time an' ya say dat every time an' nothing changes."

“(Y/N), please. ‘m only like this ‘cause I love ya and I don’t want anyone gettin’ all up on me girl.” he explained, following your steps and standing up to come face to face with you.

“It feels like ya don’t trust me.” you sniffed.

A new batch of tears formed in his eyes as he nervously ran his fingers through his now messy hair, “(Y/N), ‘course I trust ya. I just don’t trust other people.”

“Oh my god, Niall, ya sound like my mother. ’m almost 19 years old. I can take care of myself.”

“Well I kno-“ he began before you cut him off.

"No, you’re with me 24/7. I wanna be able t' go out an' get drinks with the girls an' go t' parties with them but ya won’t let me go anywhere without you." you announced, beginning to get angry and ranting.

"C'mon, (Y/N), we've talked about dis." he sighed.

"We've talked about all of it and nothin' changed, 'm just sick of it."

"We’ve been t’ those parties and there are drunk guys everywhere grindin’ up on every girl in da house, I don’t want that happenin' t’ ya." he defended.

"Ok, put yourself in my position. How would ya feel if your girlfriend wouldn’t let you go anywhere without her, always had to approve what you wore, and never let you have any fun?” you asked.

“I let ya have fun!”

“Ok who cares! How would ya feel? I’d suck wouldn’t it?”

"I wouldn't mind! It would show me that she loves me an' only wants me."

"Okay, but I don’t see it like that and neither does anybody else! It bothers me. I don't wanna be wit' someone who controls me like they’re my parent. And jus' everythin'.. it's - it's too much and it hurts 'cause I love ya so fucking much you have no idea, but it's -"

"Then why are ya leavin' me?" he cut you off, his voice shaky.

"Because Niall! I'm jus' - 'm tired of havin' to deal with all the shit 'm getting. I need a break." you answered, rubbing your tear stained face.

There was an awkward couple seconds of silence before you spoke up, just ready to end the conversation and leave, "I just can't do it anymore." you lowered your voice, "'s too much. I need t' focus on school and my family and myself."

"(Y/N), please. Please don't do dis." he begged.

"Niall, 'm sorry."

And that was the end of your story. Or so you thought.

*** End of Flashback ***

Niall had been trying to get you to go on a date with him for quite some time now, but you never budged. He claimed to have changed but you didn't want to get hurt again. You were on your way to the car after lunch with a bunch of friends when you heard Niall's voice call your name from behind you.

"Hey, what'rya doin' dis weekend?" he asked.

You stopped in your tracks and let out a soft breath, "Oh my god," you muttered to yourself, trying to figure out a way to say your next sentence in the nicest way possible, "Niall, please stop askin', answer's always gonna be no."

“Ah, (Y/N), c'mon. We’ll have a good time!” he stated.

"Why'dya wanna go out with me so much?"

"'cause I like ya. Yer fun." he started.

You didn't say anything because you felt like there was a deeper reason as to why he wanted to go out with just you two. He sighed and shook his head, looking down at his feet, "I’ve tried to move on, I really have. It fuckin’ sucks because every time I go on a date or whatever all I think about is you.”

Ah, so he likes you again. Great.

"It's been like 4 years." you were puzzled; you didn't know why he was still hooked on you.

“I know, I know, but we’re good friends again and I just wanna see where we can go.”

"Niall, we're at a good place right now. Why do ya wanna ruin that." you asked.

He hesitated to say the next words, but eventually murmured, "'cause 'm still in love wit' ya."

You didn't know what to say. The next few silent seconds that passed felt like seven years. You licked your dry lips, picked at your nail polish, cracked your knuckles, everything trying to settle your nerves.

"I dunno, I guess ever since we started gettin' close again, I started t' fall fer ya again." he admitted, licking his lips.

"Oh," you answered, biting back your lip as you felt a small smirk creep onto your lips.

You had moved on a while ago but the thought of him still chasing after you after four years had you feeling giddy. No guy has ever nor will ever make you feel like Niall makes you feel. Even though you don't have feelings for him anymore, he still had that effect on you.

“I’ve changed, I really have. After everythin’ that happened between us, it made me realize how awfully I treated ya and how I wanna be better fer ya.”

“I dunno,” you hummed, biting your lip nervously.

"(Y/N), jus' one date." he begged, "Please." You couldn't help the huge smile that began to erupt on your face before you finally caved in, "Okay, fine! One date."

"Yes!" he cheered audibly, pumping his fists in the air.

You giggled and rolled your eyes playfully, looking down and picking at your nail polish nervously. Immediately, you regretted giving in. You didn't know how to feel. Are you excited? Are you scared? You loved him. You still love him. That love for him will never go away, it was just a different kind of love now. But you didn't want to end up getting hurt again and you were afraid that might happen.

"Wednesday?" he asked with a bright smile.

"Sure." you answered with a soft smile on your pink lips.

"6 o'clock sound good?"

"You've got dis all planned out, dontcha?" you teased.

"Yeah," he nodded, an adorable smile on his lips.

"Yes, 6 is good." you answered.

"I'll pick ya up."

"Okay." you smiled.

He practically danced to his car. He was pretty damn cute. You shook your head playfully as you walked to your car. You couldn't lie. You were a bit nervous about this whole situation. What if you fall for him and then hurt again? But then again, what if it does work out and he really did change? You were torn. Your thoughts slowed down when you told yourself, "It's one date. It doesn't mean you're getting married."

***

The night had come. You got all dolled up, curled your long hair, done a full face of makeup, had on a black mini dress and planned to wear matching heels. You had put on some jewelry and felt beautiful. You were beautiful. You had put on a baby pink lingerie under your dress, not that you were expecting something to happen or anything. The butterflies started to erupt in your stomach when you got a text from Niall saying he was ten minutes away. After taking one last look at yourself in the mirror, you walked downstairs and began gathering your things in your grey purse.

Right as you tossed your phone in your bag, you heard the doorbell ring. A small smile erupting on your face, you giddily walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it to reveal Niall's beautiful, smiley face. His hair was perfectly done, a white, button-up shirt fitting perfectly on his chest, the first couple buttons unbuttoned to show off his fluffy chest hair, black khakis and dress shoes adorning his lower body. He was showing off his pearly whites to you as he grinned, "Hey."

"Hi, come in." you grinned.

He walked in and you closed the door behind him.

"'m almost done, then we can go," you giggled softly.

As you walked into the mudroom, you overheard your housemates, Molly and Bridget, greet Niall before they all had a small conversation. As you slipped on your heels, all you could think about was him and if you all were actually going to work out again. You were nervous. It was weird. It was just Niall, right? The boy you've known for about 6 years and dated for 4? You don't know; it felt like the first time again. You liked it though. It was like a new start for you all.

Your heels clicked against the hardwood floor as you walked into the living room again. You said your goodbyes to the girls before exiting the house. Niall leads you to his black range rover and opened the passenger door for you. Your heart swelled as your lips curled into a smile. You thanked him as you got in the car. He smiled back and shut the door behind you before hopping into the driver's seat. After backing out of your driveway, you all were finally on the road. You were both silent; the only noise filling the car was the soft sound of the radio playing. "Ya gonna tell me where we're goin' now?" you grinned at him.

"Nope." he replied, popping the p, "But I know yer gonna like it."

"Ya act like you've known me fer years," you teased.

"Hmm, maybe I have."

You carried on with small talk, catching up on everything that's happened to each other over the past couple of years. The drive wasn't very far from your place, only about 15 minutes. As you got closer and closer to your destination, you recognized exactly where you were; a place you all used to come all of the time. He pulled into your favorite restaurant, parking the car in the closest spot he could find. Niall and you had only come here a couple of times when you were younger. It was your favorite restaurant in the entire world, but it was so expensive. As young, dumb, broke high-school kids (hehe), you couldn't afford to come here all of the time so it was a very special occasion if you ever went. A smile grew on your face, "You remembered."

"'course I did." he smiled at you.

As you both got out of the car, you headed inside and walked up to the counter.

"Hi, how many?" The nice lady asked.

"Hi, we have reservations fer two." Niall replied.

"Okay, under what name?"

"Niall."

Typing on her keypad, she hummed, "Okay, I gotcha checked in. We'll let ya know when yer table's ready."

"Thank ya." Niall smiled before you both sat at the waiting booth.

Not even 10 minutes later, his name was called and you were headed towards your table. As you sat down at a booth across from each other, the lady placed menus in front of you, smiling, "Yer waiter will be with you shortly." you hummed a 'thank you' to her before she walked off.

The rest of the night went smoothly, dinner was delicious, you and Niall caught up with each other, everything was perfect. He even paid for your expensive meal. At the end of the night, you both left the restaurant with full tummies. You both got into his car and buckled up, preparing to go home.

"Wanna go back t' me place. None o' da boys should be home." he asked. You giggled girlishly, "Sure."

"Wha's dat giggle fer?" he teased.

"Nothin'," you grinned at him.

He chuckled slightly and started his car before beginning the journey back to his house that was hopefully housemate free at the time. Once you got to his shared house, he parked the car in the driveway and you both got out, walking up to the front door. Unlocking the door with his house key, he opened it and allowed you to walk in first.

The smell of a clean house filled your nostrils as you admired the new sight. The stairs at the right were perfectly vacuumed, the living room straight head was beautifully designed and decorated, the house was gorgeous. Niall and his roommates had been saving up for a house like this for years. It was the perfect size for 3 boys and were gorgeous on the inside.

"Ooh, this's nice." you smiled as you carefully set down your purse on the hardwood floor.

"Oh, dat's right, ya haven't seen it yet," he realized.

He had just moved into a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom house with a couple of his friends recently. You and Niall only talked when you all were out with your friends or in class but you weren't best friends, so of course you haven't seen the house yet.

"'s super pretty."

"Thanks," he giggled, slipping off his dress shoes and tossing them by the stairs for him to pick up later, "Work my ass off cleanin' it all da time. Noah's the messiest person I've ever met. Ya should see his room, 's awful."

Niall had severe OCD and didn't handle messes too well. That was the one big thing you all used to argue about all the time because you're not the cleanest, most organized person in the world and that always used to bother Niall.

You giggled softly. Reaching down, you began to unbuckle your own shoes, before he stopped you, "Come t' da couch. I'll help ya."

He guided you to the grey couch in the middle of the living room, allowing you to sit down comfortably before he squatted down in front of you. He grabbed onto your foot and placed it on his knee, unbuckling the buckle on your heel and slipping them off your foot and placing it on the ground next to him. A red mark where the buckle was, appeared on your skin.

"Ooh, does dat hurt?" he muttered, running his fingers over it before beginning on the other shoe.

"Kinda, they're really tight. They're Molly's and her feet are fuckin' tiny." you explained, "Feels good t' be off me feet though."

He smiled softly, grabbing both shoes and set them by the door with my purse. He walked back over to me and took a seat next to me on the couch. He grabbed the tv remote and you both decided on what show to put on. Once decided, you snuggled into him. Curling into a ball, you placed your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as you both watched your show.

Tonight had been so wonderful. It felt just like old times. It felt great. It definitely wasn't as awkward as you expected it to be. Niall made you feel so comfortable and not like you've been broken up for years. You were happy.

Not even halfway through the show, you felt Niall getting fidgety before soft kisses were placed on the top of your head before they began to trail down your face and across your jaw. You allowed it to happen, tilting your head to the side to give him more access to your neck. With a boost of confidence, he added pressure to his kisses and let his hand began to wander up to your thigh.

"Are you tryin' t' have sex with me?" you chuckled softly.

"Wouldja be upset if I was?" he cocked his eyebrow at you, a smirk placed on his pretty lips.

"Nope," you grinned, straddling his lap.

Your lips connected like magnets, moving in sync with each other. Your kisses started out sweet and slow, gradually speeding up and becoming more passionate. You felt your hips begin to mindlessly grind against his, him groaning against your lips, "God, I fuckin' missed this."

His hands slipped under your dress, roaming your back. The warmth from his palms sent shivers up your spine. With your lips moving against his, his tongue explored your mouth, exalting his dominance. You let your fingers thread through his soft, chocolate brown locks, massaging his scalp with your painted fingernails. His fingers gripped the hem of your dress, tugging it up your body. You raised your arms and let him slip your dress up and over your head. He tossed it to the side and his hands immediately cupped both of your breasts over the soft fabric of your baby pink bralette.

"Mm, wha's dis?" he licked his lips, eyeing the pink piece you had on, "Were ya hopin' some'tin would happen?"

"No," you lied, giggling.

"Liar," he growled playfully.

His beautiful face disappeared in your neck and his lips attached to the sensitive skin. His hands trailed around to your back and down to your bum. His hands were flat against your bum, squeezing it as his mouth worked against your neck. He was nipping and sucking and you could feel the blood rising.

"Mm mm, not there. Don't wanna haveta cover some'in up."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

He let his kisses trail lower, stopping at the swell of your left breast that was peeking out from your bralette. Repeating his actions from seconds earlier, he nipped and sucked deeply, making sure to leave a mark for later.

"As much as I love dis on ya, I want it gone," he hummed, slipping his fingers past the strap of your top, pulling it and letting it slap back down on your shoulder.

You smiled and began to take off your bralette, pulling it over your head, letting your breasts fall into place. He watched your every move, blue eyes covered in lust and his mouth watering as he admired you. You tossed your bra onto the ground, giggling as you saw his googly eyes over you. He licked his lips once more, a smile erupting on his lips as he shook his head and looked up at you.

"Almos' forgot how pretty ya are." he grinned.

You rolled your eyes teasingly while you felt his lips attach to your neck again. He moved his lips lower, taking your nipple past his pink lips. A moan of satisfaction fell from your lips, your head falling back. He looked up at you through his lashes, watching you react to his tongue swirling around your sensitive bud. Your fingers continued to massage his scalp as he moved to the other breast, giving it the same amount of attention.

Coming off of your nipple with a soft pop, he looked up at you and your eyes locked. A smile spread on both of your lips before they connected, moving in sync. He mumbled against them, "Le's go upstairs,"

"Okay," you smiled, climbing off of him.

He stood up and grabbed your hand, leading you upstairs to his bedroom. Once you got to his room, he let you walk in first before closing the door behind him. Instantly, your lips connected and his hands cupped your cheeks. Your fingers found their way to his white dress shirt, fumbling blindly with the buttons. He pulled away from your lips and replaced your fingers with his, quickly unbuttoning all the buttons on his shirt. You watched his every move with adoration, waiting patiently for him to take off his shirt. He finished the last button before pulling the shirt off his toned chest, dropping it to the floor at your feet.

You hummed softly, a smile on your lips as you leaned in and attached your lips to him, leaving sweet kisses to his skin. He cupped your head again, urging you to look up at him. He pressed his lips to yours, tongue exploring your mouth. You pulled him closer to you, canceling out any space that was between you. His hands trailed down to your bum, squeezing it tightly. You ground your hips against him, feeling his bulge against your now soaked panties. A soft whimper fell from your lips as you let your head fall back slightly. His lips grazed your earlobe, nipping at it before whispering, "Get on yer knees. Wanna feel those sexy lips o' yers against me cock."

His warm breath fanning across your skin sent shivers up your spine as you pressed your lips to his neck, trailing them down his chest as you got on your knees in front of him. Your fingers fumbled with the buttons on his pants. Once you got past the border of the buttons, you decided to tease him a little bit. You leaned in and gently took the metal zipper past your top and bottom teeth, slowly pulling it down. You looked up at him through your mascara covered lashes, watching as he tensed up and his head fall back.

"C'mon, don't be a fuckin' tease," he groaned.

You chuckled softly to yourself, feeling his thick fingers thread through your curled hair, tugging at it. You slipped your fingertips past the band of his pants, pulling them down his thighs, letting them pool at his adorable, wonky feet. You came face to face with his black, Calvin Klein boxer briefs; his bulge causing your mouth to water. Placing both hands on either side of his hips, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his bulge, leaving lingering kisses and soft licks. You skimmed your teeth across him, causing his hips to slightly buck up.

You decided not to tease him too much, knowing what would happen if you did. Pulling his briefs down his thighs, they pooled at his feet with his pants before he stepped out of both of them and kicked them to the side. His rock hard member was revealed to the cool air and it sent chills up his spine. You wrapped your palm around his shaft and began pumping. You leaned in and took his swollen red, oozing with precum tip past your plump lips. You licked him clean, swirling your tongue around him and sucking gently.

You looked up at him through your lashes for assurance. His lips were parted, soft puffs of breath exiting as he watched you. He nodded, silently telling you to keep going. You smiled gently and took him deeper, bobbing your head and pumping what you couldn't fit into your mouth.

"Jesus Christ," he groaned, running his thick fingers through his soft, brunette hair.

You pushed him up against your cheek, moaning against him. The vibrations from your voice sent visible chills up his spine. You licked him like he was a melting popsicle, suckling at his tip to taste all of his flavors. His fingers threaded through your long, soft hair, tugging at it. Moans occasionally fell from his pink lips whenever you did something he particularly loved. The sexy sounds he made had your tummy in knots and your panties dampening.

As your jaw began to get sore, you decided to give it a little break. You came off of him with a soft pop and moved a bit lower. Kitten licking at his balls, you looked up at him for any sign of uncomfortableness, knowing that they can be pretty sensitive. Seeing nothing but bliss in his face, you continued. You pressed soft kisses to him, cupping the other ball with your hand, massaging it gently. He gathered all of your hair in his two hands, holding it up into a ponytail and twisting the soft strands. Your tongue swirled around him, pressing soft kisses to his delicate skin before doing the same to the other ball.

Licking up his shaft, you took him in your mouth again. Bobbing your head, you sucked softly. Looking up at his contorted face, the sight of him had butterflies fluttering away in your tummy. His eyes locked with yours, the eye-contact making everything 100x sexier and more intimate. His blue eyes were covered with lust, sweat beading on his forehead, his eyebrows furrowed together and his lips were parted, heavy breaths and soft groans escaping from his throat. His chest rose up and down, the curly patch of hair on his littered in the middle of his torso matted down with sweat. He was gorgeous; perfection in your eyes

With his fingers were still tightly threaded through your locks, he stopped your head from moving and began thrusting his hips back and forth. The tip of his member hit the back of your throat with every movement once he found a steady pace. Your throat closed on him as you gagged and your eyes pooled with water. The loud groans that left his lips made this painful experience all the worth it. You loved knowing that you could make him feel good. You loved knowing that your mouth was the mouth making the pornographic moans fill the air.

"Ah, gonna cum," he grunted, his head falling back.

You felt him twitch in your throat and you pulled away from him, wrapping your palm around him, you pumped him quickly, leading him to his orgasm. Aiming him at your mouth, you stuck out your tongue and waited for him to let go. Not even seconds later, moans and groans spilled from his mouth as his warm release came out in spurts on your tongue. His muscles were tense as he squeezed a fistful of your locks. You slowed your pumps around his member, easing him through his powerful orgasm. He began to come back down from the clouds, his moans replaced with heavy breaths. You closed your mouth and swallowed every last drop of him.

"Holy moly," he smiled, breathing heavily in his afterglow.

You giggled softly, letting go of his now soft member and standing up to come face to face with him. He cupped your face and leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You let him taste himself on your tongue, humming as your lips moved in sync. Pulling away from you, he whispered, "Ya okay?"

You nodded, a soft smile on your lips. He pressed his lips to your jaw, bending down slightly and wrapping his hands around the back of your thighs, "Up."

Obeying his words, you jumped up onto his waist, wrapping your arms around his sticky with sweat neck. He walked towards the end of his double sized bed, standing up in his knees and dropping you gently onto his unmade but soft bed. Scooting back, you got comfortable and rested your head on his pillow before he hovered over you, attacking your neck with his mouth. Your heart was raising in your chest as he trailed his kisses father down, not leaving an inch of your torso untouched by his lips or his hands.

He situated himself comfortably between your legs, looking up at you through his long lashes. He dipped his head down and trailed his tongue along the line of your panties. His warm tongue sent shivers throughout your entire body and caused a fire to ignite in your abdomen.

"Ya soaked through yer knickers, darlin'." he grinned up at you, "Who made ya dis wet?"

"You." you whimpered softly, just wanting him to touch you in some way or another.

"Hmm?" he hummed, and you knew he knew exactly what you said.

"You did, Niall."

"Damn right, I did."

Using his teeth, he bit onto the hem of your panties, pulling them up before letting them go, allowing them to smack back against your skin. Looking up at you with a cheesy grin, you giggled. He slipped his fingers past the elastic band of your panties, humming, "Hips up."

You obeyed and lifted your hips, allowing him to pull your bottoms down your shaved legs and past your bare feet. He tossed them to the side and you were now completely exposed to him for the first time in who knows how many years. You were a little shy, you had to admit, but you weren't going to show it.

"Christ, look at ya," he breathed out, trailing his index finger around your pink core, skipping over your sensitive spots, "S'pretty."

Pressing his index and middle finger on your throbbing clit, he rubbed it in soft circles before moving south and slipping them through your wet folds. After spreading your wetness, he placed his fingers on your clit again, rubbing it back and forth with pressure. A soft moan fell from your pretty, pink lips from the relief of tension. Moving his two fingers down to your entrance, he slipped them in and found a steady pace. Curling them up, he hit your special spot and your back arched with pleasure.

"Mm, needa taste ya," he muttered mostly to himself.

With his right hand flat against the inside of your thigh, he used his left hand to spread you apart, making it easier to taste you. Without hesitation, he went straight in, licking up your wetness and suckling your clit in his mouth. He flicked his tongue back and forth across your sensitive bud all while suckling. The knot in the pit of your stomach immediately started to tighten. Your breathing increased and your body heat increased. The only sounds that filled the room were your breathing and the pornographic sounds of him eating you like he hadn't eaten for days.

Coming off of you with a soft pop, you whimpered at the lack of him.

"Hang on, lemme get some'in," he hummed, climbing off of you.

"Get what?" you asked.

He didn't reply, only disappearing into his closet. Not even minutes later, he returned with two neckties in his hand and you knew exactly what he was going to do. One of the ties was plain black, while the other one was navy with small, pink polka dots on it. He looked at you with piercing, blue eyes, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You giggled softly, watching him climb on top of you.

"Arms up." he ordered.

"Same ol' Niall." you smiled up at him through your lashes, lifting up your right hand and allowing him to tie you to the bedpost.

"In da bedroom? Hell yeah, baby. Yer all mine t'night."

He made sure the knot was tight, but not too tight that it's painful and loose but not so loose that you can move your arms around.

"Too tight?" he asked.

You replied with a soft no before he moved onto the other hand, doing the exact same. When he was done, he leaned back and admired you, "Look at ya. Look fuckin' sexy like dat."

A small smile erupted on your lips, he leaned down and attached his lips to yours before trailing them down your body, going back to his comfortable spot between your legs. He lifted your legs and hooked them around his neck, licking his lips as he stared at your core, pondering where to start first. He licked up your soaked slit, suckling your clit past his lips. Flicking his tongue back and forth against it, you felt the rope in your tummy tighten as you orgasm began to rise.

"Ya like dat, dontcha?" he smirked up at you.

"Mm, yeah," you moaned, nodding your head, "Feels so good. I missed your tongue."

"Mmm, betcha did." he mumbled against your center, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your glowing body.

He changed up the shape of his tongue, never doing the same thing and always keeping you on edge. His tongue was magical, feeling like silk and always giving you endless amounts of pleasure. Your body squirmed and jolted whenever he did something you particularly loved. You couldn’t stop yourself from bucking your hips up or arching your back. You desperately wanted to grab onto his hair and tug at it, but the restraints declined you from that.

"Stay down," he hummed, looking up at you. His lust-filled eyes pierced into yours as you let out a breath and relaxed your body, your fingernails digging into your palms.

Your legs quivered around him and your toes curled. Your face was contorted with pleasure and loud moans fell from your pink lips. You were getting closer and closer to the edge.

“Taste so good,” he murmured and you could see his lips, glistening with your arousal, curl up into a smug smirk.

Moving south, he circled your entrance with the tip of his tongue. Slipping it inside, you gasped softly, feeling his tongue circle your walls. Thrusting his tongue in and out, you had high-pitched, pornographic moans spilling from your lips and your back arching off of the bed. The tip of his nose rubbed against your clit, egging you onto your orgasm. Your hips wriggled around under him, unable to stay still. You felt the restraints tugging on your wrists as you squirmed. You bucked your hips up, trying to get something more from him, feeling desperate for a release.

"Stay still or I won't let ya cum." he threatened.

You whimpered audibly, squeezing your eyes shut and rolling your head back against the pillow. You relaxed your body again, struggling to not at least buck your hips up. He replaced his tongue with his two longest fingers, thrusting them in and out of you, curling them up and rubbing them against your good spot. Your muscles clenched and you tried your best not to squirm around too much, but it was so hard because he was so good.

Adding a third finger to the mix, a yelp fell from your lips and your back arched slightly. He watched you with a smirk on his pink lips, enjoying the sight he was seeing. He picked up the pace of his fingers, his knuckles hitting your entrance with every thrust of his fingers inside of you. You moaned loudly, tugging on the restraints and silently begging him to give you a release by bucking your hips up once again.

He pulled his fingers out of you and wrapped his arms around your waist, doing his best to keep you still. He sucked harshly on your sensitive bud, looking up at you through his lashes and watching as you came undone above him. His growing scruff scratched at your inner thighs, adding the perfect amount of pain to the pleasure you were receiving, bringing you even closer to the edge. Your legs tightened around his head and your breath hitched in your throat, "'m gonna cum."

Right as those words left your lips, he came off of you and sat up on his knees. You whined audibly as your orgasm immediately started to fall back down, "Niall."

"'s hard, darlin'. It hurts." he smirked smugly, lining himself up with your entrance, "Needa fuck ya."

"Untie me at least?" you whimpered, pulling on the restraints.

"Where're those manners, love?"

"Can you please untie me?"

He grinned as he sat up and fumbled with the ties around your wrists, untying them and tossing them to the ground next to the bed. You let your arms float back down, your fingers rubbing at your eyes real quick as he hovered back over you.

"Do we need a condom?" he asked.

"Yeah," you nodded.

While you were dating, you took the pill every day so you never used condoms. But since you all were broken up, you stopped taking the pill because you weren't regularly intimate anymore. He whimpered softly, a hint of uneasiness in his eyes as he searched through his bedside table and found no condoms.

"I'll be right back." he muttered, rushing out of the room.

You laid there patiently, waiting for him to arrive with a condom in hand. Luckily, only a couple minutes later, he did. Walking in with a smile on his face, he muttered, "Had t' steal one o' Conor's."

You smiled at him and he climbed on the bed again, standing on his knees as he carefully opened the small, square package. Tossing the wrapper onto the floor, he carefully rolled the condom onto his hard length. He placed both hands on both of your knees, humming, "Ya ready?"

You nodded and with his left hand, he reached down and grabbed onto his length, pumping it a couple of times before lining it up with your dripping entrance. Sliding into you, soft, identical sighs fell from both of your lips. He pushed his full length into you, staying still for a second. You closed your eyes and you both sentimentally took everything in. Moving in and out of you, he found a steady pace before gently dropping his body over yours. Using both hands to support his body above yours, he hid his face into your sticky neck.

"Jesus Christ, yer tight." he grunted.

You could feel his thick veins against your wet walls and the tip of his member hitting your good spot with every thrust.

"Haven't been fucked properly in a while, have ya?" he lifted his head to smirk at you.

You replied with a moan, gently digging your fingernails into his shoulder blades.

"Gonna change dat t'night though right?" he grunted smugly.

"Uh huh," you moaned, nodding your head.

His mouth attached to your neck, kissing and licking every inch of skin he could reach. His warm breath fanned across your shoulder with every deep exhale. He was giving every ounce of him he had and it felt absolutely incredible. After so many years you forgot how good he was in bed. He always knew how to make you feel good and he never failed at it.

"Turn over, I'll let ya top."

You obeyed his rules and rolled over, straddling his thighs. You wrapped your palm around his throbbing member and pumped it a few times before lifting yourself on your knees and sinking down onto him. Starting out slowly, you ground your hips against his, gradually speeding up. He placed his hands on your hips, helping you keep a steady rhythm and making sure that you knew that even though you were on top, he was still in control.

You leaned down and dug your face into his sticky neck, squeezing your eyes shut. The tight knot in your stomach began to build as you chased down your orgasm. He lifted his hips up with every thrust of your hips, your hips meeting with a smack. He was so deep inside of you, he felt so good and you made sure to tell him. He responded with a low moan, tugging gently on your locks that were sprawled against his chest.

Sitting up, you flipped your hair out of your face, beginning to bounce on him. He reached up, grabbing onto both of your breasts and squeezing them harshly. He ran his thumb over your nipples, feeling them harden under his touch. Your back slightly arched into him, your head falling back with pleasure. He sent you into pure ecstasy.

You leaned down again, pressing both hands on the bed on either side of his head, supporting your body to hover over him. Your squeezed your walls around him as you circled your hips. With his hands against your hips, his fingertips dug harshly into your skin. You leaned down and attached your lips to his. Once your lips connected with his, he plunged his tongue into your mouth, his lips moving in sync with yours.

"Turn around," his voice was deep and raspy, sending shivers up your spine as you immediately switched spots with him so that you were on the bottom again.

“Gimme yer leg.” he ordered.

You lifted up your leg slightly and he grabbed onto your calf, lifting it up to rest of his shoulder. Thrusting into you again, you both let out a soft noise of pleasure. This position gave you both a deeper penetration and a more heavenly feeling. Your eyes locked and you could see the dark layer of lust covering his gorgeous blues. His face was contorted with pleasure, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted.

You dug your heels into his lower back, pushing him deeper into you. His hips slapped loudly against yours, the bed squeaking slightly under you. The moans that fell from both of your lips collided and echoed throughout the room. Sweat was beading across your bodies and your hearts were beating out of your chests. Your muscles were clenching around his thick member, your breath hitching in your throat. Your orgasm was just around the corner.

"Gonna cum fer me?" he grunted out, "Go on, love. Cum fer me. Cum all over me cock. Wanna feel ya."

Those words were all that you needed before you felt yourself spilling over the edge, chanting, "Oh fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck," as your orgasm rolled over your entire body.

Your whole body was trembling, shaking as it was numbed with pleasure. Your knuckles were white with how hard your grip was on the sheets you laid on, your toes curling against the soft skin of his love handles. You saw stars behind your closed eyelids, feeling as if you had died and gone to heaven. Only seconds after your release, you felt him twitch inside of you before his warm release filled the condom. Both of your moans collided and could be heard throughout the entire house. As you both began to fall back down from the clouds, your moans were replaced with heavy breaths.

"Fuck, didn't know how much I needed dat," he breathed out, turning over and pulling you into his big arms, "Oh, (Y/N). I missed you."

A smile erupted on your lips, "I missed you too."

He pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead, muttering, "Can I take ya out again dis Saturday? Have our second date?"

Maybe this was going to work out after all.

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xolotoofficial · 5 years ago

Text

Recorded in Advance

> “Alright, babe,” Marvus’ manager starts, making sure the bandages around his chest are well visible under his jacket, but not as visible as the layers of gold chains sitting on top. He smirks and pats him on the shoulders, eying the golden diamond-shaped studs in his ears. “You’re looking pitiful enough. Go out there and make me and your clown buddies proud.”

Marvus feels way better now that he’s had a couple of days to heal. If he was, oh, Jade, let’s say, it would probably take much longer for him to heal, but he slowly swaggers into the interview, feeling like a million but walking like he’s still injured, but healing. The stab wounds on his body were closed up at this point, and the scarring was already looking pretty minimal, but he looked like he was being held together by cotton and stitches under all the wrappings.

The day he woke up, he let them photograph his chest, and it was emblazoned across every magazine - a clown, martyred at his own show, bloody and pitiful, tore the fuck up and still devastatingly hot. Gore was barely a kink on Alternia.

The cerulean woman in her pencil skirt and killer heels splattered with warm blood sits with a notepad in her lap and a winning smile. She was a familiar site. They had done interviews before, and she was very efficient. “Are you ready? Do you remember all the questions and answers we’re going through today, Mr. Xoloto?”

He smiles and nods, feeling the cameras on him again. It’s familiar, and he can honestly say he missed it. “Yes, I remember. It’s a steel trap up here, even if it’s been knocked around a lil’ bit.”

She feigns concern and they both cackle with each other. She was easy to win over, as easy as anyone else, but at least she had fun with it.

“You’re such a messy bitch.” She croons, recrossing her legs, one set of eyes looking at her notes and the other staring into him with glee. “Alright, everyone shut up and start rolling!...” She herself smiles into the camera. “Hello and welcome to all of you at hive watching, this is Krayvt Terrox, of course. Today I’m joined by one of the most masterful jesters this side of Alternia in an exclusive interview. Known for the size of his crowds, the size of the bloodshed, and the size of him… well. Marvus Xoloto, it’s so good to have you here, and so soon after this grizzly attempt on your life.”

He smiles and nods lazily, moving very little. “Only by motherfuckin’ grace, sister. It’s great to be here, Kravyt.”

“Let’s start with the obvious - your attacker isn’t a stranger to the disciplinary system, and according to multiple sources, he’s been on the cull list for some time for abandoning his duties and past violence on trolls of higher blood. It’s rather stupid of him to brazenly walk on stage when common knowledge among us who actually use our pans that you like to keep a certain amount of attention and cameras on you. I have to ask, did you know Lanque Bombyx personally?”

Marvus shakes his head. “No. We had some mutual acquaintances once upon a time, but I didn’t know him, or about him, or get any warnin’s on his violent ass nature. We’ve attended some same parties, but other than that? Nada.”

“Oh, interesting. Let’s start with those acquaintances. Did you have any altercations or issues with those mutual acquaintances?”

He shakes his head again. “Oh, no. It’s funny, the only people we both knew seemed to either not want much to do with him, or just didn’t have nice things to say. I take care of my friends, ya know? And that includes listenin’ to em, so I did my best.”

“Of course, Marvus the Great wouldn’t be associating with such base criminals. I’m sure the people who lost him to the cull list were very disappointed.”

Marvus laughs. Thinking of Daraya being disappointed in Lanque’s crimes tickled him. “Can’t say fer sure since he came up so rarely, but I’m sure they were pretty g-d bummed.”

Kravyt’s eyes narrow and she leans in. “Now, about the parties? What’s the secret there?”

“Oh, god, ain’t no secret. They was jus’ meetin’ ups I was havin’ with some of my siblin’s. He was there at the same time, in my ass and all that. The only secret I might think was there was that he was followin’ me. Ain’t uncommon, but ain’t impressive on me.”

His interrorgator simply laughed, flipped a page in her paper. “Gosh, this is a funnier story than I expected. Here we all were, thinking he was some sort of hired hand or a wronged quad, but he’s really a jealous nobody. So, what happened that night? Why does Marvus Xoloto lose to an overly desperate fan like that? It’s not every day that someone attempts on a clown’s life, let alone escapes from the scene, and a Jade blood on top of that. A well-trained subjugglator would be expected to win that match up, easy.”

“Well, I ain’t subjug trained, I’m laughsassin trained. We more like a clown utility knife, less of a club to the face, ya dig?” One hand plays with a chain around his neck, the other hand waving away the last statement. “Not disparagin’ of course, I love the heavy hitters in my family, but I ain’t made to maintain that kinda rage all long term and shit. After a bumpin’ ass night of performin’, ya could guess that I was tired a-f. Ain’t help that on top of tired I was all cocky and shit - I’ve always been the type for spectacle, and I ain’t thought that through much at the time. I was jus’ tryin’ ta stop him, wound him all for-life-like, put on a show, and I got blood in my eyes for just a second and, well, I got the beatin’ I well up and deserved for bein’ a show-off, durin’ the fight and durin’ that long-ass slam session.”

Marvus takes a pause. He stops his fidgeting and his eyes cut to the ground. Clowns don’t show shame, but he does it regularly on global television. Even Kravyt, who knew what the questions and answers were ahead of time leans in while the camera does the same on his face.

“But I wanted to make my fans all happy, you know? Shit, they show was gettin’ ruined, and I wanted to give em another to make up for it... That was my b. If I knew he was such a criminal I woulda been more on toppa dat shit, but I ain’t sure it mattered much. Like I said, I’d been performin’ for a long time at that point - like, i-d-k, almost 3 hours?” He pauses though, stage whispering to the woman across from him. “And don’t tell nobody, but I mighta been a lil’ slack on my training. Gotta get that fixed now, don’t I?”

Kravyt nods in understanding, swinging her foot. “Thank you for that, Marvus. I’m sure that was difficult to talk about. Let’s move onto something a little less clinical - how are you feeling?”

Marvus beams for the camera. “Aww, thanks sis. I’m doin’ pretty okay. I should be all healed up sooner than later. Then I can get back to all that good” - and sometimes illegal, you know how it is - “work I’m motherfuckin’ known for.”

He winks through Kravyt and she blushes, but it wasn’t really for her. That one was for the cameras - the rebels he had been helping for the past two sweeps. The clubs he bought out. The performers he had been recruiting. He wasn’t out of the game, and he wanted them to know that.

“And what about the church? How are they feeling about all of this? What about your friends?”

Marvus nods sagely at her question. “Well, my family ain’t to happy. Last I heard they were makin’ their own moves about this. Somethin’ about uppin’ security every-motherfuckin-where, and they hired some kickass to the case? Wild a-f. I ain’t all involved or nothin’ cuz, ya know, I’m a motherfuckin’ loud mouth and alla dat, but they’ve been supportive of me. And as for friends...”

He smiles a little, face as neutral as usual. “Well, they’re goin’ a lil’ SHITHIVE. I get it though. Somethin’ terrible happened to one of their friends, all because of Lanque. He’s gettin’ all sorts of people hurt with these weird motherfuckin’ antics. Who knows who’s gonna be all in the path next? Can’t imagine how hurted his cloister must be - they be their own sorta family, and I kinda feel some kinship about that. I know most trolls ain’t gettin’ what clowns got, but I know, if I up and imagine, it would suck if I fucked up and got a sister of mine hurt, you know?”

And that one was for Lanque.

“How kind of you to empathize with the associates and friends of a criminal. But that almost sounds just as juicy as this -”

“None of that, sis. This is just me havin’ my own fun. I mean, the church got him covered - I get somethin’ of my own, I think. I just wish his family the best.”

“You really have a gilded heart, don’t you?”

“Aww, I don’t know about that…”

“And so humble.” She giggles. “One last question, then.” Kravyt nods and finishes her scrawling. “It’s really good to see that you’re alive and well. Is there anything else you’d like to tell the good people at home?” Marvus turns to the camera to his left and gives another best winning smile. “I’ll be going on a whole new tour in three nights from now to celebrate my good health! Tickets are available now, and locations are listed up on my website. While you’re there, if you’re feelin’ up to it and know anything at all about the location of my attacker, there’s a text form you can submit, only available to people who’re signed up to my Fanclub.”

“It was lovely to have you on tonight,” the smiley four-eyed woman chirps pleasantly, offering her hand. He leans forward with an exaggerated wince, reciprocating the action. She looks at him with her own over-acted pity. “Thank you again, Marvus.

“...aaaand cut it! Start shutting this down. Good job, Marvus. We’ll get these all edited up and it should be going up as soon as it’s done. A day or so. You were wonderful as usual - only took three takes to get all the footage we need.”

Marvus stands and stretches, clapping his hands together once. “Glad we could do this, f-r. Hey, don’t be a stranger, sis - maybe we’ll get to talk without me actin’ like I ain’t ever been stabbed before, lmaooo.”

She shrugs. “I suppose it might be good for ratings - people really are obsessed with you. Who knew that a person could capitalize on their powers like this? Like, shit, I don’t get it, but clearly huffing your voodoo-vibes or whatever is better than coke.”

#Word Count | 1861 #xxxtras! | unstreamed actions #drug ment //#injuries //#ask to tag //

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lustingtc · 6 years ago

Text

24th October 2019

*leans on doorframe*

Do I have a motherfuckin blog post 4 u 😳😳

Its a ride fo sure 🤪✌🏻

ANYWAYZ

T came a lil bit late cuz he was on duty 😌😌😌

He,,,, coat 🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

It maybe his only good fashion decision in his whole life... 🙄💅🏻💁‍♀️

For like a good 5 minuets T was just rambling as he logged on??? 😟😟

He said something, then a kid was like “You should run for prime minister xd”

So T started talking abt... killing the queen..? N killing the whole royal family... so... 😬😬😬

But we played this game for the lesson 😌✌🏻

The first thing he did was

Place a fukin bet on who was gonna win.

He’s wild as fuck 😳😳😳😳

To make a long story short tho...

It was me n S who he picked!!! 😳🤪😳🤪✌🏻

We came second. Only cuz the fat cunt girls cheated 🤮🤮🤮

He was kinda disappointed... more jokingly lol,, but we’ll win next time >:3

These girls where giggling when going to answer n T was like

🤪🤪🤪 ”HAHAHAHA!1!!!1111!111!”

Really sarcastically??? I’m- he bab doe,,,

But 🥵🥵🥵

So💦MuCH!!🤪eyE👁FUCKING!!!!!👌🏻👈🏻

It was unbelievable man. I’m pregnant from this shit he’s pulling 🤰 like BRO,,

T’s absolutely fucking bat shit tho

S asked him to come over, to ask a question

This man 😌😌

He could of been normal and just... got up?

No. Not T.

Mans fucking pushes his spiny chair from his desk to the door which he THEN pushes himself OFF the fucking wall to our desk...

The man is mad.

Mad SEXY 🔥🔥🔥😎😎😎

Jk 🤢 isH,,

N OMG 😡😡😡

He UwU 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 when he came over he was so smiley!!!

His dumb big smile just makes me 🥺🥺🥺

I love hIM!!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Goofy mofo just,,,, 👉🏻👈🏻🥺,,, hes so handsome and lovely and nice and beautiful n amazing,,,

Lik @ God if I don’t at least get to KISS this man once. I cannot die. Infact. I will kill god.

From UwUs to OwOs

T’s into incest??? 😨😨😨

Look— there’s an explanation for this.

Baso some kid in his french was like,,,

“I’d 😜 love to have💦a sexy step sister 👱‍♀️”

T in our Spanish was like

“I was like 😬😬 okay. Bit weird”

T in the kid (&my inside gal) French was like

“😉😉😉 Haha! Sexy step sis LOL!”

N was apparently rly dragging the joke of sexy step sister??? 🤔🤔🤔

Which made me think...

Is T into step sister incest? 🤢🤢

Logical answer: probably not. Funnier answer: LOL YEA

And that’s all my notes on that fucking MESS of a lesson

But it don’t end there.

Dogman.

🤮🤮🤮 ugliest man to live

He came into my English class asking 4 a key

When I tell you he looked ugly.

My god he did.

His shirt legitimately looked like BARNY THE DINOSAUR had long passionate sex with a FUCKIN PICNIC BLANKET!!

Ive never seen such an ugly fucking thing

It pained me.

I regretted everything.

Loving him, being in that lesson, being alive.

His fit almost sent me into a depressive episode

😀😀😀 I hate him 😀😀😀

ThEN THID FUCKING KID!!!

Miss like brushed Dogman off n this kid goes

“LOL! Miss like Sir!!”

I’m there like 😗😬😳

She denied all emotions. But. I kinda saw it. 🤮

BACK TO MY LOVER N HIS BOYFRIEND 😳😳😳

In M’s class their doing relationships n they had to plan a wedding

Apparently last yr sum kid in T’s lesson planned M & T’s wedding 😨😨😨🤭

Mfw my bf has a hubby 😱😱

TO MAKE IT WORSE SKEJALENNR

T was apparently like

“Tru dat.”

😭😭😭💔💔💔 HES A GAY WTF!!!!!!

Never do trust that man.

& to make an already bad situation EVEN WORSE

*deep inhale*

T MIGHT BE MOVING BACK TO GERMANY??

I’m a few years tho.

Hopefully not anytime soon.

But it’s bc of FEKIN BREXIT 😡😡😡

Hopefully 😌😌😌 this is a lie.

Something that won’t happen until we’re many many MANY happy years into our relationship.

😗💅🏻💍 #TrueLoveFindsAWay

So tiring this man is...😴😴😴

NOT THE END THO!!!!

Dogman. Rite. 😷😷😷

He gave my friend his phone for her to use for Kahoot n sadly she didn’t have a snoop

BUT.

We did find out his recent emojis where

🤡❤️...

Funny bc his last name sounds like clown.

Is he a secret Twitter stannie? 🤮

Is he a regular Twitter normie jumping on the new cancel culture victim? 🤡🤡

Or is he bullying himself? 🥺🥺🥺

Who knows. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s just hope he’s not a stannie 🙄🙄🙄🙄

T stans Ari so I can’t have 2 of them since T’s already enough 🤮🤮👎🏻💔

Unless it’s Miku

Dogman can stan miku.

Anyways

I GG Y. Bye 👋🏻💋

#teacher crush #tc #teacher crush community #tc community #Z #dogman

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roachsource · 6 years ago

Text

text posts you didn’t need to see . collected from a number of blogs .

First law of robotics: they can’t cum

*touches soil* something awful happened here

putting the seams inside the t-shirt was a good call. i don’t need to see that shit

I’ve decided I’m done being embarrassed of dumb shit I did 5+ years ago. That’s backstory, now. It’s Lore

Grandpa piss. Papa smoke. Mother nature. Father time. Son of a bitch

i wish soulja boy would walk into my house and crank dat, killing me instantly

every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby

im such a possessive person i just saw someone calling Karl Marx just “Karl” like they’re on a first name basis and i got jealous

tony hawk isnt even a name to me anymore. it’s a rank with authority

dawg i gotta take a shit on saturday i can’t

bare pussy in the bookstore

i ate chef boyardee and began to cry bro that shit was so bad… i had noodles i could have eaten those

going in to get my tetris shot

[snake voice] otacon crank the music, its time to open this fucking pit up

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

Never trust anyone that puts noses in their smiley faces.

don pepperoni nipples comin thru

fuck this i wanna get decked in the face at a my chemical romance concert

You post about shadow people but i went to their realm and no one knew you

#mine.#rp ask meme #rp meme #roleplay ask meme #roleplay meme #ask meme #prompt.#text posts.

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femmedplume · 7 years ago

Text

Bastille @ the Wiltern (aka How Dan Smith Kissed Me)

Okay friends, strap in, this is gonna be a ride -- partially because I’s super excited, and partially because this is my ONE CHANCE to get revenge for the millions of SPN Con breakdowns I’ve had to read over the years, lol. ((BUT, because I am a nice nice Stitch, I shall put a read more break and you can scroll to the bottom if all you want to read is the kiss part lol.))

To start off, dis me and mah buddy Mikey ( @gnaist)

We have known each other since fucking JUNIOR HIGH, and (as I told him last night,) there are v v few people I enjoy enough to tolerate them for over twenty years, let alone still actively want to see them. Dis guy? He dat guy. :) And he also puts up with me with minimal complaining.

Mikey and I share a birthday week, and we usually do something together (just us) during September to celebrate. This year, he was sweet enough to agree that our Birthday Shenanigans™ should take place at the ONE gig Bastille’s playing in LA -- not because he's a fan, but because I am. #FriendshipGoals

So first, I got all dolled up, with fancy pink and purple hair and Bastille-themed nails:

(That’s 00:15 for their song Quarter Past Midnight, a ∆ , and a letter for each member of the band: Charlie (guitar), Woody (drums), Will (bass), Kyle (keyboards), and Dan (lead singer))

Then, I drove to Mikey’s and gave him his half of our newest tradition: Birthday Socks!! One for me and one for him.

We had dinner at this awesome patisserie close to Mikey’s awesome new place (shoutout to him for Adulting and buying his first condo!) We also got cake because Birthday Shenanigans™.

The food was super tasty, and the cakes were CHOCOLATE AF (don’t talk to me about my allergies, okay? Is mah BIRTHDAY)

We were running late, so we actually ate in the Lyft (the driver was nice enough to let us, and we were careful not to spill.) We got to the Wiltern at 7pm, JUST as they started letting people in.

Once we got in, we got overpriced (but very tasty) drinkies (Birthday Shenanigans™)

And then Mikey informed me that if we were going to a concert, we were getting merch. (Mikey is v v wise and a literal doctor, so I 100% believe anything he tells me.) We got shirts!

He got a cute Quarter Past Midnight shirt (that was also unusually soft and high quality,) and I got the tie-dye one that’s based off Dan Smith’s actual shirt. I’mma cut up the collar like I do with all my shirts because I hate t-shirt collars.

Then we went inside the actual theatre, which is an Art Deco beauty. They’d taken out all the seats, but the orchestra section has many shallow levels/risers, and people could basically choose which section they wanted to stand in. There was a bar INSIDE the theatre. The lighting was too low for good pics, but you can sorta see in this:

The very front pit and center section were filled with people who hadn’t sauntered in four hours late with chocolate mousse cake -- but there was space off to the right where we could stand and only two people were in front of us. YAY!

Then we waited. And waited. AND WAITED LIKE WTF PEOPLE?? I figure the Wiltern wants to give people time to buy drinks and stuff, but two HOURS???

Finally, about 9pm, the support act came on: a female singer named Fletcher? Anyone heard of her? Anyway, she was really good, had a gorgeous voice -- although we couldn’t understand what she was singing, but that was more because of the mic set up.

(Das her. V petite and blonde and has a looooot of songs about breakups, lol.)

Once Fletcher finished her set, there was another break while the road crew set up Bastille’s equipment. It was sort of fun to watch, because they’re all English blokes so they’re chatting away in cute accents while they’re doing the setup.

And then, FINALLY, Bastille came on stage.

And it.

Was.

WORTH IT.

They went hard from the moment they stepped on stage, and kept the energy up the entire time.

I cannot fully express to you how electric they are live -- but let’s just say that all the good pictures are Mikey’s because a) he is the bestest of friends and played cameraman for the evening -- but also b) I was too busy jumping around with Dan to get any actual images of Dan jumping around

He even raced up to the balcony during Flaws, WHILE SINGING and dancing. (I was a bit disappointed he didn’t come by where we were standing, but I was also happy for the balcony peoples because you don’t normally get to interact much in the balcony. Also: ART DECO!!!)

Dan Smith’s voice was PEAK HONEY, and he did all the songs I hoped he would: The Draw, Blame, Quarter Past Midnight...hell, I’ll just show you the set-list, which I got to see after the show:

(The girl holding it was the one who got to keep it -- she was super sweet and a HUGE fan who’d been to tons of concerts but had never gotten a hold of a set-list, so we were all happy she finally got one! :D)

SIDENOTE:

During the show, there was this moment in the song Bad Blood where Dan came over to the side of the stage where we were standing. Now, the camera lens makes it seem like we were farther away than we were, like this:

When in reality we could see more like this:

So the band could see our faces, too. So during Bad Blood, Dan’s singing, and I’m singing along with him (like a goober) and I raised my hand like you do when you’re feeling a song...

and he RAISED HIS HAND BACK AND SANG TO ME!

For like, two seconds, but still. It was a MOMENT.

After that, I was floating on Cloud 9 -- so when the concert ended, I was ready to call it a perfect night. But when we went out (the back exit, as it was closer,) Mikey mentioned that because the line had stretched around the far corner of the Wiltern, we’d never gotten a chance to get a pic of the actual marquis.

So we paused, and I looked back at the theater alley and thought -- huh, I wonder if they might...come out afterwards? Mebbe sign a few things? I has this nice shirt I spent too much money on...mebbe they sign my nice shirt, eh?

So Mikey went to get his pic of the marquis, which came out FABULOUSLY:

And then we settled in to wait at the end of the alley where we thought they might come out. Turns out, we were at the wrong end. So after like, 30 mins of waiting on one end, we (there were like, 20 of us) meandered over to the OTHER end of the alley, where the band’s cars were waiting and the crew was loading out the equipment.

BTW, the Bastille crew? Super sweet, English and American, and those boys fucking HUSTLED. They were rolling 300-400lb equipment into this semi, basically doing the world’s largest game of Tetris, trying to fit everything in. We was all v v impressed.

They also brought us water?? Because we’d been waiting for an hour and a half at this point and they felt bad, like...?? AND THEN, they gave us the balloons from the set!!

And all the fans were really nice, and started taking the bunches of balloons apart so that everyone who wanted a balloon could have one (I got a green one, mah favorite color!)

So we’re waiting. And waiting. And WAITING GODDAMN DON’T THEY HAVE CLOCKS IN ENGLAND??

The crew finishes loading, the semi backs out, still we wait. Their manager finally comes out and says that yes they’re coming out, but probably only going to take a couple of group shots with all of us/not sign anything or chat. Why? Because the boys are exhausted. He tells us they’ve flown from England to Sacramento to Vegas to LA in 3 days and played 4 shows, soo... understandable situation.

EXCEPT for this one fan, who started whining at the manager. “I didn’t wait ALL THIS TIME for some fucking group shot, I want a SELFIE!” “I need Dan to take a pic of me with my SIGN!!” (She kept harping about her sign... is no even a good sign?)

Then, when it looked for a second like maybe the boys weren’t coming out at all, she snaps “You PROMISED they were coming!!” >:( The tone of this person’s voice, man -- you know the one? Like she’s Sharon at the Walmart and they were out of stock of Pantene Pro-V or some shit and they OWED HER some gotdamn PANTENE and where is the manager?? Ugh.

Anywho, the boys come out. (Except Will. He might have already fallen asleep, IDK lol.) But there was a Dan and a Kyle and a Woody, and they all not ONLY took some group shots, but DID give hugs and stuffs.

(Dan giving hugs. Woody, who was totally smiley and friendly and not a miserable git like this pic makes him look...right after this moment he ran over and gave the girl next to me a hug. Kyle was off to my right, giving many hugs and taking many pictures.)

(Dan in a taco hat a fan had given him. Woody heading back after giving many hugs.)

(Dan apologizing profusely because someone gave him a shirt for a present and he hadn’t realized that there was an image of a nekkid lady in the art collage on the front, and we were all ladies and he didn’t want us to feel uncomfortable or think he was a misogynist so he covered it up oh god he’s such a cinnamon roll I cannot!)

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: THE KISS.

So, during the interminable waiting, (literally, TWO HOURS PLUS, you guys!) several of us started chatting -- during the chat, it came up that I has made a Bastille art. I showed the ladies this pic:

because we were all talking about Dan shaving his head and I was trying to convince them it was actually kinda hot, lol.

They really liked the art!! :D So much so that they convinced me (after many prods and encouragements) to show the art to Dan. And I was gonna do it, honest! I was super brave and not at all terrified.

But then came the whole they’re too tired thing and I was like, eh, mebbe no?

And THEN, Superbitch Fan was standing right next to me DEMANDING that Dan take a selfie with her and her sign. (Which he did, like a sweetheart.) Then when he went to turn to me, Superbitch decided she didn’t like the first pic, and PUSHED IN FRONT OF ME AND PAST THE SECURITY BARRIER to demand he take another one.

Which he did, like a sweetheart -- but then turned past me, probably so she couldn’t grab him again. So I figured, lost cause, right?

Wrong. As he turned back, I was holding the phone out, but not quite up, kind of undecided -- and it caught his eye.

Daniel Campbell Smith GASPED, CLUTCHED HIS HEART

and said “Wow.” Looked at the pic, then back to me, said, “Did you...”

And I held it up and said “Um, yes, I made you...an art?” (Because you know, what are words and why would I, a writer, know how to use them?)

And he just gaped, like HE had no words -- and then leaned in and KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK.

And not a peck, either?? Like a firm, full on “you are amazing and so is your art thing thank you so much” kiss for several seconds??

AND MIKEY GOT THE PIC!

TL;DR:

It may be blurry, but there it is! Immortalized for all time, the moment Daniel Cinnamon Roll Smith liked my artwork SO MUCH he had to kiss me to say thank you.

And then, dear friends, I died.

I have, in fact, been writing this diary from my condo on the edge of the Lake of Fire in Hades. Because I’m dead.

BEST. NIGHT. EVER!!**

((Bonus: Mikey is now a Bastille fan! He really liked the concert, and is going to make his own playlist based on the concert’s set list. I’m so freaking happy we got to share that!! :DDDD))

((Super-bonus: Look in the right-hand corner of the kiss pic. See that woman looking like she’s having her night ruined? THAT was Superbitch. HA!))

**All credit to @gnaist for taking pictures of the entire night, even when I didn’t know he was shooting lol.

#this has been the entirely true diary of your friendly neighborhood Stitch #thanks for reading #I promise I'll post some video of the concert in a bit #stitch in real life #bastille #dan smith: deep enough to drown #concert #the wiltern #live music #fanart #IDK what else to tag this but I feel like I's missing something?#oh!#the doctor and stitch

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lex-munro · 3 years ago

Text

[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 7] Looking Glass

Another clue to the caper slots into place, and Eddie starts to make himself a proper part of his (weirdly knowledgeable and supportive) boyfriend’s life.

Chapter 7 of (pretty sure?) 12.

Matt knows a thing or two about emotional trauma, Eddie; you’re in good hands.

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU. Oblique spoilers for Black Widow, Wandavision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Daredevil, Iron Fist, and The Defenders. Implied sexual content. Discussion of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) and recovery from abuse. Canon Catholic characters. Matt had to be the grown-up during the Blip, so he had five years to get his issues sorted out. Brief panic attack and an appropriate recovery/focus activity (it’s one my therapist had me use for a long time, focusing on a common word like ‘the’ or ‘on’ in a song on the radio). Language: PG-13 (primetime TV plus s*** and f***).

Pairing: Matt/Eddie, past Eddie/Venom, reference to Foggy/Marci.

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but (kind of) concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent).

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

P.S. A thirty-pound Maine Coon is about bobcat-sized.

P.P.S. Yes, I know Netflix!Danny homeschooled, but this is a different universe where he’s not a complete loser damsel, so he might as well have gotten at least the Private School Experience™.

Looking Glass

Eddie and Venom manage to doodle a profiling sketch of the angry chick from Fat Man Auto Body.

Ned sends a match within half an hour, and Eddie and MJ huddle at the laptop with coffee while they read.

Maya Lopez, whose late father was the guy Eddie had lined up before Kingpin got him blacklisted across the boroughs. Young-ish. Award-winning martial artist, chess champion. Deaf amputee who silenced every doubter.

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Eddie mutters, mind racing. “So we know the Tracksuits had their numbers…cut down, shall we say…by Ronin. I’m betting in this universe, her old man snuffed it and she, having grown up in the Outfit, decided to use organized crime to get revenge. Hence the really disproportionate response to seeing somebody dressed as Ronin—seriously, burning down five apartments? When I saw her, she must’ve been stomping off in a huff over not being able to get her mitts on Hawkeye or Ronin.”

Dat Ass Ready to move your stuff? Downstairs with a friend who doesn’t mind fur in the car. :)

And now Eddie’s picturing Matt dictating a smiley into a speech-to-text program.

“I may vomit purely from the saccharine look on your face,” MJ informs him.

“I feel like you haven’t seen the face you make when Peter does something sweet and clever.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Fair enough. You need any help carrying your…abundance of material goods?” she asks, waving one slim brown hand at the duffel bag with his only change of clothes (and the giant cat asleep on it).

“I keep forgetting you guys are comedians,” he retorts.

He packs up his laptop, tosses Snowflake onto one shoulder like a napping child, grabs the duffel, and heads for the door.

“Keep the card, okay?” MJ says. “I’m not saying things between you won’t go well, I obviously want them to go well, but, just… Like, maybe you’ll get lonely, or maybe you’ll need to see the board, or maybe you’ll need a cat-sitter or an apocalypse shelter or whatever…”

“You’re a good friend,” he tells her (nearly calling her the dreaded K-word instead). “V and Snow love ya to bits, okay? So we’ll definitely visit. Just…maybe with parental consent first.”

“Shut up, you’re so emotional,” she squeaks out with watery eyes. “Keep me updated on the case, Scoob. Me ‘n the gang’ll throw you a housewarming party this weekend.”

The ‘friend’ Matt brought turns out to be some hippie-looking guy with a Bronco (brown, and Eddie wants to laugh but also wants a ride across the island).

“Holy shit, I thought Jess was exaggerating,” the blond says. “That cat’s almost big enough to ride.”

“He’s a big softy, like his pet human,” Matt scoffs, smacking Eddie’s ass with unerring aim. “All aboard, boys.”

“Sorry, the cat just surprised me,” the stranger goes on, offering his right hand. “I’m Danny, the only friend Matt has who bothers to have a car.”

“In a city where public transit can take you almost anywhere,” snipes Matt.

Eddie shakes Danny’s hand. “I’m Eddie, this is Snowflake. We’re the boyfriend and the asshole-detector, respectively.”

“Had a friend in fourth grade whose dog was like that,” Danny says with a nod. “That dog would tolerate a lot of people, but he hated my best friend’s dad, who turned out to be a murderer and a creep, so…clearly an animal of refined taste.”

“Oof, that’s rough,” Eddie admits. “Well, this is pretty much everything that survived the fire. Just that this overgrown idiot scares off cabbies and Ubers.” He slides into the backseat.

Matt gets in from the other side, and Snowflake rouses enough to abandon Eddie’s shoulder in favor of Matt’s before closing his eyes and resuming his nap.

“The fuff is mine,” Matt declares with a grin. “MJ would be so jealous if she knew.”

When they arrive, Danny shakes Eddie’s hand again and says it was nice meeting him.

He smells weird, Venom grumbles as the truck pulls away.

“Yeah, well…so do you, Mr. Eggs, Chocolate, and Human Brains.”

At the top of the stairs, Matt grins at him again. “Do the honors, since I’ve got the majestic beast?”

“Oh—that’s right, I’ve got your key…”

“You have your key to our apartment,” Matt corrects.

Eddie fumbles it, and it lands with an echoing metallic sound.

Matt’s grin fades a little. “Uh-oh. Is that good heartbeat-skipping or bad heartbeat-skipping?”

Eddie crouches, fingers clumsy as he tries to pick the damn thing back up.

“Eddie? I can’t see your face, remember? You’re gonna have to help me out, here…”

“N-no, babe, it’s fine,” Eddie babbles, blunt nails scraping until he manages to get an edge of the key lifted. “It’s…good. I just…the last two exes had me convinced that I’m definitely not easy to live with, and, uh…it’s hard. To believe you actually wanted to, I mean.”

“Let’s get inside, and we can talk it through. V, could you help get the door, please?”

Venom extends a tendril expectantly, and Eddie gives him the key, grateful that he didn’t just work Eddie’s hand like a marionette. He feels like his skin is the wrong size, and that would probably make him freak out just now.

we are okay, Venom assures him quietly. it was in the bump-writing. he wants to keep you.

“Please shut up,” Eddie mutters, blushing so hard even his ears feel hot.

urgh, another worrying surface-temperature change…is this a defensive camouflage?

When they get the door open and step inside, the first thing he sees is the hall table on the left—with a big old-fashioned fishbowl on it. There’s a bow and a gift tag that says ‘for V from Matt.’

He drops his duffel, sets his laptop bag on top of it, and manhandles his boyfriend the rest of the way inside so he can shut the door.

“I take it you saw—” Matt manages before Eddie kisses the smug look off his face.

Between them, Snowflake grumbles and wriggles free to survey his new domain.

“I figure everybody deserves their own space,” Matt finally manages. “You’re part of his life, so you’re welcome here—as long as you behave yourself. We can even get you some stuff to decorate it, if you want. It’s the nitrogen you can’t breathe, right? Peter was conjecturing—”

Eddie kisses him again, but it’s mostly Venom’s fault this time.

KEEPING HIM

“Well,” Matt huffs, hands broad and warm on Eddie’s back. “Guess that means you guys like it.”

Venom gives a happy purr, and there’s a chilly, ticklish sensation in the skin under Matt’s fingers.

“Oh,” Matt says, blinking. “That’s a thing?”

“Hey, are you passin’ secret notes to our boyfriend?” Eddie complains half-heartedly.

“Just making certain suggestions that have me thinking about the spiritual ramifications, because while I am intrigued, I am also Catholic.”

“Right, Foggy mentioned that. I guess I figured, since we’re here, like this, instead of you throwing holy water at us or something…”

Matt shakes his head. “My faith and my sexuality got sorted out years ago. Bisexuality, attraction to men, romance with men, sex with men, all taken care of. I’m even completely fine with you being what many people would term ‘possessed.’ It’s the idea of sex with a brain-eating tentacle-monster from outer space that’s giving me things to work through.”

“Fair. I’m not completely sure where it falls, myself, morally speaking. And I say that as someone who used to have quite a lot of sex with said brain-eating tentacle-monster from outer space.”

A lopsided smile twists its way across Matt’s mouth. “I think there’s a pretty suspect level of lust and general sin involved.”

“And wrath is more your thing.”

“Hey, I went to confession for that yesterday,” Matt protests with a feigned pout. “Though I think my priest still doesn’t think I’m physically capable of the things I confess.”

Something…proud…rumbles around the base of Eddie’s spine. “You tell him the things we been gettin’ up to? Outta wedlock, no less?”

Matt laughs and trails a hand up to hook at Eddie’s nape. “No. None of it’s felt like something I should feel guilty about—and I say that as someone who’s been accused of hoarding misplaced guilt.”

“Maybe I need to get more imaginative, then.”

In a whirl, he’s been spun around and had his back thumped firmly against the closed door.

Venom’s combined lust and hunger twist through Eddie’s gut. Eddie abruptly remembers that brains make more of that chemical Venom likes when orgasms happen.

Tentacles to yourself, he thinks. He said not yet.

Venom gives a sulky growl.

Matt turns the lock and runs his teeth over Eddie’s collarbone. “Bed?” he suggests.

~*~*~

Eddie has to borrow a clean shirt for lunch (he maintains that it’s technically brunch, but Matt has ignored him the three times he’s said so). There’s no way any of Matt’s pants will fit (except maybe sweats, which will not make a great impression with the very protective best friend who first met Eddie with Matt attached to his face), and the bright red tee-shirt makes Eddie a little self-conscious about his gut, but there’s not much helping it.

Your depression has left our body a mess. I will fix our metabolism later.

“Stop—” Matt chides, grabbing his hands, “—fidgeting! I like your belly.”

…perhaps I will only overhaul the organs, then.

Matt flashes a goofy grin.

“What?” Eddie asks, suspicious.

“I like the way you smell in my clothes.”

WE ARE OVERHEATING AGAIN! Is this normal?!

“Yes, V, it’s perfectly normal when I’m blushing so hard I probably look like a tomato,” he mutters.

Laughing, Matt leans in and peppers his cheek with kisses.

“Stahhhhhp,” Eddie grumbles insincerely.

“Nuh-uh. When my boyfriend is being adorable, I have a legal obligation to provide smooches. Pretty sure I could be disbarred for failing to provide adequate smooching.”

“That’s a damn lie.”

“But it got you to relax,” Matt points out.

Snowflake demands food (which Matt and MJ somehow conspired to provide), so Eddie fills his bowl before they head out.

“Remember to lock up,” says Matt. “I don’t really have anything worth stealing, but you’ve got your work computer.”

Foggy meets them in a diner two blocks down. It’s a typical greasy spoon, the kind with cracking vinyl seat cushions and pull-style soda taps and a glass display case full of pies.

Foggy has picked a booth where Matt can put his back to a wall and keep his cane out from underfoot.

“Hi,” Eddie says, feeling awkward as he holds out his hand to shake. At least the guy’s not wearing a suit this time…

Foggy has a firm grip. “Nice to meet under better circumstances. Foggy Nelson.”

“Eddie Brock.”

“Hm,” is all the redhead says, face suspiciously pleasant. “He looks nervous. Is that just his face?”

“Oh, gee, why would he be nervous?” Matt snarks. “He’s just my boyfriend of four days who moved in with me this morning and is having lunch with my long-time best friend.”

“Brunch, technically. Is that one of your shirts?”

“Yes, because his apartment burned down the night before we met. Eddie, please sit down. I promise Foggy’s bark is worse than his bite.”

“He’s making skeptical faces,” Foggy tattles.

“Eddie, get in the booth or I will publicly serenade you, Disney prince style.”

Eddie launches into the booth with his shoulders up around his ears.

“Gonna want to be sparing with that tactic,” Foggy warns. “Guy looks like he might spontaneously combust.”

Is this a thing now? The too-hot embarrassment? It’s sticky; I don’t like it.

Matt slides into the booth and wraps himself around Eddie’s arm. “He has self-esteem issues, so I’m working on positive embarrassment to overcome the fear of public shame.”

“Yuck,” says Foggy. “You’re wearing matching lovey-dovey faces.”

The waitress looks like somebody’s grandma, complete with a bun full of hairpins and bifocals on a chain. She greets Foggy and Matt by name and takes all three lunch orders with efficient little shorthand notes.

“I’m going to be excruciatingly honest,” says Foggy, once she’s gone. “Matt has an eerie ability to find and date beautiful people who are neck-deep in trouble.”

“I’m flattered,” Eddie tries to joke, despite knowing that he looks like a hobo got a shave and a shower.

Shut up, we are beautiful. Matt says so, and now his friend is saying so.

“And as such,” Foggy goes on, “I gotta say, you look like trouble.”

“Ooh, you look like trouble,” Matt says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Sounds sexy, I like it.”

Foggy, on the other hand, is clearly unamused. “You look like the kind of trouble who goes digging in stuff people want buried but writes for a paper of questionable local repute. So. How does a guy like you end up with a bullshit merchant like the Street? You their token ‘gritty investigator’? Or are you on the take?”

Eddie accidentally laughs.

“Well, there’s that laugh he likes so much. Answer the question, please.”

“Well,” says Eddie. “Um. I mean, I dunno how safe it would be to—”

“He’s cleaning the place out, Foggy,” Matt says easily. “One of the editors is dirty. But Eddie makes great bait, to his own admission. Jess and one of the interns have some lovely photographic evidence, I’m told.”

“That’s plenty to go on with,” Foggy says. “Insert plausible deniability here. I hear you went to the Street because the Bulletin wouldn’t take you. No work history.”

Eddie starts twisting one of his rings. “It’s a long story that I promise has nothing to do with organized crime or secret identities.”

“I know about all of that, Foggy,” Matt says mildly, and grabs Eddie’s hands to stop his fidgeting.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, figuring it must be loud and annoying for somebody with super-hearing.

Matt just smiles at him and kisses his cheek. “Foggy, stop being mean. Peter and the kids really like him, and you know how MJ is.”

The guy scoffs. “I am making a very incredulous face right now. And I know she Tased me for not knowing ‘the password’ that time you got hit by a car doing stupid extra-curricular shenanigans.”

“I was helping a lovely little old lady get back her savings from a pyramid scheme,” Matt corrects sternly. “It was well worth it. Zero regrets. And MJ doesn’t trust easily, that’s all. Fulfill your best friend duties: they tell me Eddie has tattoos?”

Foggy holds both hands up. “I’m gonna nip that in the bud. A guy with that much visible ink could have tattoos anywhere, and I’m not going to look at your naked boyfriend to tell you about them.”

“I don’t have that much!” Eddie protests. “Just some coverage on the arms and chest. That’s pretty boring.”

“Aw, you actually believe that,” says Matt.

Their food arrives, and Eddie seizes the excuse to shut up.

more syrup

No.

Yes!

You got a prescription now. You don’t get to ruin food for me again!

His hand very much wants to grab the syrup, but he manages to get a grip on his wrist and shove his hands into his lap.

Foggy stares. “Yeah, so he just did a weird thing like his hand was possessed, and now he looks petulant.”

Matt makes a thoughtful noise. “Remember that nice fish bowl? Remember that I actually have multiple ways to instigate fairly intense sound between four and six kilohertz?”

FINE don’t enjoy your hashed brown potato food correctly.

“Thanks, babe,” Eddie mutters under his breath, and goes back to avoiding the conversation.

“And I’m supposed to act like everything that just happened is normal,” notes Foggy. “I can do normal. How’d you two meet?”

“Bored and horny at Toledo’s,” they both answer.

Foggy puts a hand to his brow and closes his eyes. “Not even Josie’s, but straight on down to the seediest dive bar in the Kitchen to cruise for a hookup. Were you looking for gonorrhea?”

Eddie snorts his cheap coffee.

“Hey, anybody classy enough to wear Varvatos to a shithole like Toledo’s was definitely going to be into safe sex,” reasons Matt, and Eddie nods. “Also, it took him three lines to actually understand I was flirting.”

“You don’t gotta tell him that,” Eddie hisses.

But Matt just traps him with a hand on the opposite side of his face and loudly kisses his cheek.

“Stop,” Eddie protests without any real force.

Matt snickers and kisses him some more, and then they’re giggling like teenagers and Foggy pointedly says, “No, really, stop. Please, you’re giving me cavities. It’s disgustingly cute.”

“Anyway,” says Matt, letting Eddie get back to his food. “The kids needed a late-night favor, we found out they’re our single degree of separation, spent some more time together, et voilà. Also, his cat is amazing.”

“Your bed is amazing,” Eddie retorts. “Think it fixed the crick I always get in my lower back.”

“Okay, objectively, your boyfriend has a cute smile,” Foggy admits. “Crooked teeth, though.”

“Oh, I know,” Matt says smugly.

“Ugh. I should’ve made Karen suffer through this with me…”

“Wife?” Eddie asks, natural curiosity rearing its head.

Matt and Foggy laugh.

“No. No, no, no. Um. Our law firm is Nelson—” Foggy points to himself, then to Matt. “—Murdock, and Page. Karen is the Page part of that, and we’re all happy with that arrangement, despite Matt’s best attempts at matchmaking prior to my happy marriage. Normally, I’d be wearing a lovely ring of which I am immensely proud, but I’m, er, losing some weight at the moment and had to get it resized.” He frowns pointedly at his egg-white omelet and seasonal fruit.

“Just askin’,” Eddie excuses, hands up in apology. “I think it’s a Catholic thing—we got a built-in need to marry off the singles in our lives. We somehow can’t picture people bein’ happy and single.”

“You’re Catholic, too?” Matt pounces.

“Ouch, big flinch,” says Foggy as soon as the expression crosses Eddie’s face.

“Lapsed, babe,” Eddie says a little uncomfortably. “Don’t consider myself especially devout these days…had some bad experiences.”

Matt tilts his head and puts an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “No, no, it’s okay—you’re okay.”

“You don’t need to soothe me, y’know,” Eddie says, staring at his food as he just moves his fork through it aimlessly. His stomach is in knots, and his brain feels like it’s floating away.

“I do,” Matt replies gently. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but you’re having a panic attack right now.”

Is that why his hands are shaking? But he’s breathing fine, and he’s not crying or in hysterics…

“Don’t overthink it, or it’ll just get worse. Can you hear the song playing over the speakers?”

Jailhouse Rock.

“Yeah,” Eddie says.

“Can you keep count of how many times Elvis says the word ‘the’?”

Eddie shakes his head. The motion makes him dizzy, for some reason. “I’m fine, I’m not panicking.”

Your heart is squishing too quickly.

“Panic attacks are all, like, hyperventilating and stuff,” Eddie insists. But now it’s not just his hands shaking…

“Not for everybody,” Foggy says. “Let’s put the fork down, huh?”

“Eddie, you’re not counting,” chides Matt, leaning close. “Come on, that was a whole chorus just now—so that’s two.”

Sad Sack was sittin’ on a block of stone Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone

“Three,” Eddie says, focusing on the words. “Four.”

Chorus.

“Five. Six.”

Last verse. Nada.

Chorus.

“Seven. Eight. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.”

“Perfect,” Matt says, squeezing him slightly. “See? All better. You’re safe with me. No matter what happens, or where this goes for us, you’ll always be safe with me.”

Eddie nods, but doesn’t quite trust his voice. He made a scene. People are pretending not to look.

“You’re okay,” Matt assures him again. “Go to the bathroom and wash your face. When you get back, let me know if you want to finish your food or just go home. Either way is absolutely perfect. Okay?”

Slowly, Matt pulls him to his feet and nudges him in the right direction.

Fuck fuck fuck. Great impression to make. He told Venom he was better, had his shit together. Clearly not.

No, those memories had nothing to do with me. It’s a tall man with a belt. We’re so small and weak. He smells like old beer. Always angry.

Eddie stumbles through the bathroom door and fumbles to turn on the cold water.

He can’t hurt us anymore. I won’t let him.

“Yeah?” Eddie hisses under his breath. “Who’s gonna stop you from hurting me?”

Matt.

Oh.

He stops. He stares at himself in the mirror. Pale, veins thrumming, eyes glassy. He looks like he did back when Venom was still eating his organs.

Warmth in his spine.

We are okay, my Eddie. All of us, together.

“Right up until I’m too high maintenance…”

He splashes water on his face and pats himself dry with some paper towels. Time to lower that maintenance factor. Go back out, smile, let everybody finish eating.

He hesitates at the bathroom door. He can just barely hear them.

“—spoiling him way too much,” Foggy is saying.

“I’m spoiling a guy whose last boyfriend definitely abused him on multiple levels and who evidently was also abused either by his Catholic parents or his Catholic priest?” Matt retorts.

“Jesus. Matt, the guy needs therapy, not some kind of whirlwind romance. If you’re just looking for someone to fix, you’re gonna get hurt.”

“Even if I’m spoiling him, so what? He deserves it. And maybe, just once, being with me will actually make somebody’s life better.”

“Matt—”

“Foggy. You know I believe God made me the way I am for a reason—if part of that reason is to fall head-over-fucking-heels in love with messy, broken, complicated Eddie Brock, then thank God. I have never felt so…needed, and truly helpful, and good. He gives me hope, Foggy. When he looks at me, he doesn’t see my sins and my failures and all the blood on my hands. All he sees is the cute guy who took a chance on him in a rundown bar when his week was going to shit.”

“Dammit, Matt,” Foggy says in a resigned tone.

A goopy black paw pokes Eddie’s nose, and he swats it away.

He said it out loud. That’s what the bumpy-note said—he is in love with you and he believes it is something his God intended as his purpose. You had no home, so his God made a home for you in his heart.

Eddie rushes back to the sink for more cold water.

Again with the overheating! Your facial capillaries are malfunctioning with alarming frequency since I came back.

“Blushing,” Eddie mutters. “I’m blushing. Didn’t Parker ever blush while you were there?”

Peter’s body is strange, and it frequently generates more thermal energy than the meatsacks of inferior hosts. Like when I fix your broken bones, but all the time. Just slower.

A topic for some other time, when he doesn’t have an amazing boyfriend (and his slightly overprotective best friend) waiting on him.

Let’s go home and snuggle. It will make him terribly smug. Smuggle. No, that is something else…

Eddie makes his way back to the booth. “I’m. Um, I’m okay now. But maybe we could go home anyway? Get settled in?”

“Go,” says Foggy. “I’ll take care of the check and get your leftovers packed up. Your boyfriend is currently pink-cheeked and making heart-eyes.”

“You’re the best, Foggy,” Matt tells him with a smile. “Catch you later.”

“Never inflict your lovey-dovey on me solo again—if I’d known how gross and sweet you two were gonna be, I’d have found some way to trick Karen into taking my place.”

.End.

#fanfic #CANON DIVERGENCE #Venom liked the MCU so I let him stay as a treat #Matt/Eddie #rarepair #fandom: MCU #fic series: glitter (venom MCU)

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call-me-jennn · 5 years ago

Text

They say that you should romanticize your life.

Okay then, here’s today’s version of events as they occurred in Jenn’s mind:

I’ve always really liked computers and technology. I really like fixing things; I find it really rewarding to determine the cause and solution to issues. So figuring out computer glitches is like a fun puzzle to me. But my computer literacy is pretty limited. Any problem that is google-able is something definitely within my capacity. But anything beyond that goes over my head.

As such, I’m pretty much the go-to person for computer questions and problems at work. My coworkers are definitely tech challenged. A frozen program to them means we can’t use the computer anymore. To me it’s a challenge. But if I can’t figure it out we call IT.

So we were having an issue with my patient’s chart today. When we would try to edit a code, it would cause the chart freeze and crash. It was happening on every computer. I couldn’t figure it out, so the doctor called IT support to try and solve the issue. The IT guy is remoted into the Dr’s computer, but Dr. had to see patients so he asked me to talk to the IT guy. (Downside of being the go-to tech person, if I can’t figure it out, I always get forced to sit and talk to the IT person). The IT guy is on the phone muted and trying to figure it out on the desktop. He gets back on the phone line and says:

“Doctor?”

I say “yes?”

Him: “um.. Is this the doctor?”

Me: “no, this is Jenn, I’m one of Dr. K’s assistants”

I glanced at his name on the remote icon, his name is Nick. He says he thinks he fixed the problem and asked me to try again. I open the chart and try to edit the code, the chart crashes again. He says, ah, it’s a known glitch and that he may need to wait until we’re done with the computers for the day to run a utilities fix on the whole server. But for now he’ll keep trying ways around it. So we talk out some ideas that we could try.

I suggested that he delete the whole treatment plan and try to start over.

Nick: “delete the whole thing? … are you sure?” [there’s more than 20 procedure codes]

Me: “yeah, just try it. I know what procedures we’re doing.”

Nick: “okay, can you do it?”

I started trying to delete the codes one by one.

Nick: “you can delete them all at once!”

Me: “I don’t know how to Nick!”

He teaches me how to select all of them with keystrokes, but it won’t let him delete them all together.

Nick: *sounds embarrassed* “oh.. Nevermind Jenn”

Me: *laughing* “it’s okay, I’ll delete them one by one.”

Nick: “no I’ll do it. I’m a man of my word!”

We keep trying, but we can’t fix the issue. He says that again, he’ll keep playing with it remotely, but it’s likely he’ll have to wait until the end of the day. For now he’ll get off the phone line. I say okay, I tell the doctor and go back to do my work on another computer. The doctor goes into his office after a few minutes then calls me in.

Dr : “Jenn, the IT guy is messaging you”

Nick (on the messenger): JENN I FIXED IT :D

Dr : “what does the D mean?”

Me: “uh, haha, it’s a smiley face”

Dr : *leaves*

Nick tries to show me something on the screen using the mouse. But I’m not understanding. He opens a notepad document and types:

Nick: “I found a fix!” *shows me again*

Me: “OHHHHH! Yayyy! Good job Nick!”

Nick: “heheh thanks! :D” “can you re add the codes and see if it works?”

Me: “um… I can’t remember them” “just kidding!”

I start adding all the codes in. Once I added all of them I had to separate the treatment into phases. I used the keystroke he taught me to select them.

I opened the notepad back up and type:

Me: “done!”

Nick: “you almost gave me a heart attack Jenn! :0 >:l ”

Me: *I’m laughing out loud because the faces he’s making with the keys is giving me AIM flashbacks, my coworkers are asking me why I’m laughing so loud* “sowee :D”

He hits the enter key to start a new line on the notepad. There’s a pause, and then:

Nick: “is there anything else I can help you with Jenn?”

Me: “nope, thanks Nick!” “I hope you have an ---

So this part is embarrassing, I was trying to type have an excellent day, but I think I was nervous so I kept spelling excellent wrong and backspacing until finally I said --

Me: “I hope you have a nice day.”

Nick: “HAHAHA, I saw that.”

Me: “my face is red. BYE”

There’s another slight pause, then he sends the ticket number and logs out of the remote access.

UGHHHHHHHH AHHHHH.

I don’t know, it was just so cute. Like the silliness of him teaching me something and failing and then saying he was a man of his word. The fact that he opened up a notepad to type and tell me how excited he was that he fixed the problem instead of using the messenger system. The smiley faces. The tension feeling of using the keystrokes he taught me and knowing that he’s seeing on screen that I’m doing it. How badly I embarrassed myself in the end.

For all I know, he could be some married guy on the East Coast. But idk, I just adore encounters like that. I like things that play out and progress naturally. I like genuine awkwardness and silliness and being nervous. Pursuits overwhelm me and I tend to run away. But these feelings, ugh, dats that shit I like.

I like that it’s both equally something and nothing. Nothing, because it’s unlikely I’ll ever talk to him again. But something enough that I was in such a good mood that I was dancing while walking around Costco after work. Dancing so hard that I hit a Costco employee who was walking by me, who then laughed and copied my dance move.

I hope in my next life I’m someone a lot cooler.

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singingpuddle · 8 years ago

Text

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Ghost Town At Vulture Mine”

Happy day after Friday the 13th ya spooks. In honor of this especially spoopy occaasion and our favorite bois new vid. I am doing another commentary.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

****************************************************************************************************

Shane: He’s my Ghoulfriend™

R: This is totally not a date

Me: Welp, this is going to be interesting

****************************************************************************************************

Me: This is so cute. Like your just lightly chatting with him to make sure hes okay.

S: Who? Me? I’m just as creeped out as he is.

Me: Yeah but your like helping him along.

S: Well yeah, that’s what good boyfriends do.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: They look like two gay dads on a camping trip.

R: Why is everything have to be gay and paternal?

Me: Well you guys are gay as heck.

R: We are both in straight relationships.

Me: O.K. correction, you both act gay as heck with each other.

R: Better. But the dad thing?

Me: Oh that? Your both older men who act goofy and seem like you would be good fathers.

R: Thanks?

Me: Your welcome.

****************************************************************************************************

R: “Maybe tonight you’ll get lucky then.”

Me: Look Rye Berg, I now you were talking about ghosts (which let’s be honest we know you have a kink for), but that sentence taken out of context is really-

R: You say gay and I will kick you out of your own comments post.

Me: You can’t do that, that’s breaking the fourth wall if there is one.

R: Try me.

****************************************************************************************************

Ari tests Ryan

“Gay”: Said

Threats: Made

Shane: Entertained

Ari is forcibly removed from her own text post

****************************************************************************************************

Me: He needs to be blinded to see the ghosts.

R: *yelling from near the door* Shane stop writing as if your Ari. I kicked her out, I get to be her.

Me: Be her?

R: I get to take over position on this post.

Ari: *banging on door* Let me in you Bastard

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Just two heterosexual men being bros.

Ari: *bursts in after unscrewing the door hinges* ITS GAY, ITS GAY FLIRTING, IM TAKING BACK MY GODDAMN POST GODDAMN IT!

S: You’re doing amazing sweetie!

****************************************************************************************************

Me: *after wrestling Ryan for keyboard control* Look my two favorite things, Quartz and Gold

S: I like her commentary better, more pure.

R: She has called us gay how many times?

S: Why does it matter, it’s not like she hates our girlfriends or would force the ship on us.

Me,R,&S: *cough at those types of shippers*

R: Yeah but it’s still a bit annoying.

Me: You don’t make it hard to think those things though.

R: Yeah yeah, just get back to the video.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Dango

Shane: You could say that again.

Me: Dango.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: boyfriends

****************************************************************************************************

Me: If you don’t think ghost towns are creepy you can shut the hell up. They are creepy as shit.

S&R: Preach

****************************************************************************************************

R: “That being said.”

S: Take a sip babes.

Me: I totally forgot about the drinking game. *gets up to leave then glares at Ryan* I don’t trust you though

*Locks computer*

*Runs downstairs to get drink*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: IM BACK WITCHES! What happened while I was gone.

S: Oh nothing. Ryan sucked me off, we discussed the meaning of life. Ya know the usge.

R: THE FUCK SHANE

S & Me: *finger guns*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: That happened once in an episode of Ms. Fishers Murder Mysteries.

R: You watch like way to many shows about murder.

S: Yeah should we be worried

Me: No, you shouldn’t. I just think they’re interesting.

R: Ok??

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for Shanesquatch making his boyfriend smile)

(+1 for Beanpole McFlannel Lightening the mood as to calm both himself and his boyfriend)

(+1 for smiley boyfriends)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ah… remember the days of Shook Ryan™. Now he is just mildly stirred

S: IDK, he still gets pretty shook

Me: We shall see

****************************************************************************************************

Me: YOU IDIOTS, YOUR DOING THE “dumb white girl in a horror movie thing” AND ITS STUPID.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: *mocking ryan* I SHooooooK myself

R: Fuck off, you would have been terrified if you went.

Me: Thus Why I didnt

****************************************************************************************************

Me: I don’t get it? Why is this funny? Inside joke???

****************************************************************************************************

Me: He had a “secret mine” in the “Supersticion Mountians”? Boi, no he didn’t. They are called the fucking Supersticion mountains. That’s like saying I have a boyfriend living in the “I TOTALLY DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND” mountains.

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 This entire section of bants)

(+1 for making me laugh so hard I had to pause and take a break)

(+1 for playfully flirty boyfriends)

****************************************************************************************************

R&S,&Me: (wheeze)

Me: … do I need to say it?

R: Say what?

S: Let me guess. *shitty impression of me* “gay”.

Me: approximately, I was gonna say “Interesting”.

S: Which is just your way of saying. “There are very few scenarios involving this that aren’t at least partially gay.”

Me: Well I’m shook.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: you guys fucked in the glory hole didn’t you?

S: Yup, the fucking tragedy is we went on this road trip not to film a video but to fuck I a haunted cave called the glory hole. You caught us.

Me: *Giggling*

R: *shook*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Boi, fuck safety imma get rich. *pickaxe motion* YEET

****************************************************************************************************

S&Me: TAKE A FUCKING SIP BABES

Me: Blech, cold coffee. Hey Shane imma go warm this up. Can you make sure Ryan doesn’t take over again

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Hey Ryan, how bout them spooks

R: Shane, she literally just ask you not to do that.

Me: No she said not to let you do this.

R: …

Me: … she sure is taking her time.

R: You think its on purpose?

Me: Probabaly not, I can hear her coming up the stairs now.

Ari: Mkay im back.

R: you keep leaving, why?

Ari: Because I don’t keep food and drinks in my room? Chill dude.

Me: …

Ari: Also Shane, give me back the keyboard.

Me: fine.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: That moment you realize your relationship has changed you.

R: We are not in a relationship.

Me: Friends right. You guys have a Friend-ship.

R: Fine.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ass- Bat™ my new favorite super hero.

S: Behind Razor boy right?

R: (wheeze) Yeah behind Razor boy.

Me: Nah behind C.C. Tinsley

(+1 for Shane “Heart eyes” Madaj)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Rocks around here can rustle in the breeze, that breeze being a twister.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You know what me too Shane, Me too. Give me dat gold and dat good smooch but if you want violence im not ya gal.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at the cute lil messy boyfriends in the recording booth.

(+1 for Shane's face)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: can we just stop and appreciate how good y’all look.

R: Thanks.

(+1 for Shay May’s heart eyes)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: ok… STAHP, YOUR HURTING ME.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Dango my dude. Don’t steal.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Shane? Are you like, proud of him?

S: Yeah it was good.

Me: Okayy?

****************************************************************************************************

S & Me: Ass-Bat™

Me: Back at it again.

S: Coming for your ass.

****************************************************************************************************

R: Im feeling brave, test me bitch

*something happens*

R: *shookest*

Me: (WHEEZE) You’re fucking bravery went right out that fucking window.

R: Oh, it was just the camera.

Me: Dango my dude, you shuuk.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Oh shit, Shanes collars up, you know whay that means.

R: What?

Me: Duh, Douchebag Shane, but only to ghosts.

S: I would be mad, but you’re totally right.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: That’s not at all traumatizing. A school kid being like “My best friend Timothy died last week and now I have to walk by the grave every day when I go to school.

S: Totally not traumatizing.

****************************************************************************************************

S: Boy, you spookin ya-self. Chill it with the rumor this and allegedly that. Ghost towns are creepy enough as it is.

****************************************************************************************************

*creepy ghost piano plays G note*

Me: Ok you ghosties are you trying to hurt me

****************************************************************************************************

Me: The heck is that?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Yeah caus help scratched into the wall and the shooting range paper riddled with holes weren’t already omens enough

****************************************************************************************************

Me: … You idjits

****************************************************************************************************

(+1 for goofy smiley boyfriends)

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Wait a sec, you’re not boyfriends…. Your boofriends

R: (wheeze)

S: You know somehow that’s just as bad, I love it.

****************************************************************************************************

R: *is being a goof*

S: *suddenly a dom for some reason*

R: *immediately becomes submissive and starts to do what he says*

Me: What did I just witness?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ah you noticed that too Shane? Yeah, well its your fucking fault.

S: NO REGERTS

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Demon Shane, its looking a little bit more cannon.

R: *shook*

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Yo Rye, you finna… *waggling eyebrows in Shanes direction*

S: You wanna wax my carrot, make it all shiny?

R: Shut the fuck up both of you.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ass-Bat™ this time not only coming for your ass but that sweet shiny carrot as well.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Tbh it just sounds like Shane saying what. But like, he didn’t soooooooo…

Not Shane Ghost voice: What?

Me: So it’s clearly a ghost.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Aww look at you two being all coy and blushy because your gonna polish each others pickles later.

R&S: ...

****************************************************************************************************

Me: (wheeze) I CAN’T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING. You fucking JUMPED out that house. Any more shook and you would have jumped into Shane’s arms.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: YESS.. give me that cinematic shit.

****************************************************************************************************

This long ass post brought to you by:

this

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

#buzzfeed #buzzfeedblue #buzzfeed unsolved #UNSOLVED MYSTERIES #ryan x shane #ryan bergara #shane madej #shyan

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