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whatever-letmebe · 1 year ago

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Sex is Not for Everyone, Actually

Playboyy is a show all about sex. Half of the characters are horny, gay college students, the other half are equally horny, equally gay (former) sex workers. At first glance, Zouey is an outlier. He is a quiet art student who likes to watch hentai but has never had sex with another person. He’s the only virgin in his friend group and gets teased for it. His friends are so invested in “helping” Zouey lose his virginity that they hire a prostitute for his 21st birthday, despite Zouey making it very clear that he doesn’t want that. [Virginity is a harmful construct and I’m using the term here deliberately btw.] Zouey's 21st birthday is where episode one of Playboyy begins, aptly titled “Sex is for Everyone”.

So Jump, the guy who Zouey’s friends hired, shows up and tries to do his job but it doesn’t go well because Zouey is anxious and uncomfortable and Jump is pressed for time and inpatient. [Side note: I don’t know much about allosexuals but I’m pretty sure that many of them would not be excited about having sex with a stranger while handcuffed and with no time to prepare for it. But in Playboyy, all the other characters would totally be down for that, which makes Zouey the odd one out. This is also the first “fantasy crashing with reality” scene, which is a main theme of the show. I’ve pointed out two more examples of it here.] Zouey tries several times to gain some control over the situation and lead it in a direction that’s actually comfortable and pleasurable for him. They sort of get there, in the end. Jump agrees to pose for Zouey and then Zouey starts jerking off, but their time runs out before Zouey can finish. Jump leaves in frustration that he didn't make Zouey come (which normally means he won't get paid) and Zouey is left with the experience of his personal boundaries being crossed and his sexual fantasy being ridiculed.

It has nothing to do with you. If I hadn’t escaped to jerk off, that policeman would have raped me. - Come on, you’re exaggerating. - I am not. I told you that I’m not into this.

I know I’m not the only ace person who watched that first episode of Playyboyy and felt very seen. The way Zouey is treated by others throughout this episode - the othering and invalidation he encounters when he talks about his (dis)interest in (specific ways of having) sex as well as the pressure that’s placed on him to conform, is something many of us are painfully familiar with.

You didn’t want to have sex with me but you wanted to draw. You’re sick.

Jump shames him. Captain says he doesn’t get why Zouey “won’t have sex with anyone or jerk off to humans”. And Teena assumes it’s about Zouey feeling insecure so he offers words of encouragement.

You know, the first time I had sex, I came before I put it in. Noone is good right off the bat. [..] You need to practice. [...] It’s okay. Take it slow.

Many aces have heard similar things and gone through similar experiences especially as teenagers and young adults. It can seem like everybody around us is obsessed with sex. Not just their own sex life but also the sex life of everybody else. When we get asked who we find hot or when we will finally have sex, “nobody” and “maybe never” are not accepted as answers. Not having sex is weirder than gay sex or BDSM or smelling underwear because sex is for everybody, it is a universal need and a sign of maturity, or so we are told. That’s what compulsory sexuality is. It sucks and it especially sucks for us aces who will never “grow up” and meet the expectation of sexuality that people have of us. It’s perfectly fine to go through your life without ever having sex with anybody but it can be hard to believe that when we have internalized the idea that not having sex means there is something fundamentally wrong and broken about us.

Do you know the concept of epistemological injustice? My mind was kinda blown when I first learned about it. Epistemological injustice describes the injustice of 1) not having access to knowledge about your own experiences, which includes the fact that certain experiences are not being researched and 2) the knowledge you have about yourself and the world not being believed or trusted. Knowledge is power, after all, so controlling and limiting knowledge is a way to limit and control power. How can we as aces even begin to understand ourselves, how can we recognize and challenge compulsory sexuality, when we don’t learn about the existence of asexuality and don’t hear about the lived experience of other aces?

Noone in Playboyy ever suggests to Zouey that he could be ace - most likely because noone knows about asexuality - and when Zouey says that he doesn’t think sex is for him, he is not taken seriously. That is epistemological injustice. It would be very hard for Zouey to figure out if he is on the ace spectrum because he doesn’t have the knowledge, the vocabulary, to understand himself in these terms and he is (implicitly) told by others that he cannot trust his own thoughts and feelings around his sexuality. In Zouey’s case, a lot of his hang-ups around sex seem to stem from anxiety, self-consciousness and possibly a negative past experience, so the advice he receives from Teena is actually relevant. For an ace person who doesn’t want to have sex, though, the same advice would not be helpful at all and could even reinforce the self-shame and self-doubt many have dealt with at some point in their life.

#this was supposed to be the first part of an even longer post #but I'm not sure about the rest anymore #I need to rethink some of it and may never post it tbh #This part turned out okay though #consider it your friendly reminder that ace people exist #playboyy the series #playboyy zouey #teena x zouey #asexuality #asexual #ace spec #compulsory sexuality #lgbtqia

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pigeon-gryphon · 2 months ago

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A kinda long vent about a few different things

The appeal of art styles is subjective. If you regularly practice the skills you want, you will improve. It’s the curse of nearly all creatives to never be fully satisfied with their own work, but you can still shoot for the moon and land among the stars, and so on

I know all this and yet I cannot fully believe it about my own work. Before I went to college for graphic design, I did art a lot more frequently. At first I just drew various dolphin species, obsessively, for the hell of it. But then I was in art RP groups for a few years, in which you and your character need to be charismatic to get to do much in depth RP. And unfortunately, I was socially inept and allergic to making my characters conventionally attractive. Though, in all the RP groups, my characters and I were initially welcomed enthusiastically, but then over time, people got increasingly cold toward me and some others, and I'd be left trying to guess what exactly went wrong. I'd spend a year trying to impress the fellow RPers with my art and stories, and trying to be encouraging about their works, hoping to charm them into playing dolls with me. Then I'd give up, rinse and repeat with another RP group for a year.

But anyways- I was at least able to apply fundamentals of what I’d learned from hobby work, to college work. And I can still enjoy the process of actually doing these things, I mainly get discouraged by the end results. And probably 'cause of that discouragement, I have a hard time motivating myself to get going with either hobby stuff, or new portfolio pieces anymore. I feel like none of my preexisting college work is good enough to get a job, ‘cause no one will respond at all, just radio silence. I get paranoid that all my past, present and future visual works, whether formal or hobby, are objectively mediocre, even though that’s nonsense, and I wouldn’t think such a cruel, irrational thing about anyone else’s work.

I’ve been heavily considering going to college for programming. I find programming fascinating, I think it could pair well with graphic design, and I’d like to try being a solo indie game dev someday. But if you want to get a job in either graphic design or programming, you gotta really stand out. I’ve had many art accounts, and I’ve never been able to stand out, even back while I was more active. I hate competitions of any kind. Everyone should have an equal chance of surviving, we shouldn’t have to compete in any way just for a chance at basic life necessities.

Maybe I shouldn’t have gone into graphic design. But now that I have the degree, it feels like it would be a waste of time and money not to do something with it. Even if I find motive to hone my skills, what if it kills my chances of learning to just humbly enjoying making hobby art. Getting the feeling that everything I do should be “extraordinary”. But honestly, the art RP groups already damaged me.

What if going into programming is also a mistake? Although it’s just two more years in college (as opposed to three years for graphic design), it could be a waste of yet more time and money if I fail to do something with this, too. But I don’t know what else to do, I’ve researched all kinds of jobs and it’s so hard to know what I might be capable of doing decently, while also having at least a slight chance of getting a job. So many fields have low chances of getting work.

I know that there’s technically no time limit on many things in life. But I’m sick of having no income of my own. So many things in life require money. Thanks to gst cheques, I can at least afford care for a few small pets, and getting the occasional already-cheap indie game on heavy discount. But not much else.

One of the biggest things I long for is the chance to finally start dating. But it feels like a really bad idea to try to get into a serious relationship without an income. Either people will keep looking for someone who can help earn money, or you end up dangerously dependent. Also, I’m not as androgynous as I’d like to be yet. I could save up to get things to help with that, like a binder, but I’m too scared while I’m stuck living with my queerphobic parents. Last year, I got my hair cut shorter, and a side shave that can be covered at times when it’s best not to look too alt. And my mom initially said it looked nice, but then later (according to my sibling) called me a dyke behind my back. Which I wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t said by someone so allocishet, in a negative context. And I’d like to try cutting it even shorter someday, but although they probably wouldn’t kick me out for being too openly queer, I’m a cowardly crybaby afraid of confrontation, so I don’t want to go too far until I finally get to live elsewhere. Plus, I want to date queer people, and I wouldn’t want to risk my parents being shitty to them.

But after years of longing to be held by some person my age, I get impatient and frustrated sometimes. I wish I didn’t have to jump through so many hoops to finally get an income first. I wish I could just hold someone’s hands and we can forage for free food in the wilderness that doesn’t belong to anyone. And then I doodle crap, and I don’t lose the joy of creating after it’s done, ‘cause I’d finally be free of any want or need for external validation. If only.

As things are, I can only try to crumble into complete, incapacitating mental illness. Therapy might be worth a try if it wasn't yet another expensive thing. Plus, my dad's a therapist, so if I got therapy while living with my family, I'd have to be very discreet about it, especially if it was a local therapist. 'Cause I know my parents would be offended that I won't just talk to them, and might even accuse me of sabotaging my dad's business. But I've tried free helplines, but they're either mediocre, or make me afraid of being forcibly institutionalized. I could get some kind of medication, 'cause any potential side effects couldn't be worse than what I already go through. But if my family found out, they'd be really judgy, 'cause they're biased against psychiatric drugs. I need to figure out how I should try changing my life soon, though, 'cause I can't stand the lonely rotting anymore.

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crooked-hourglass · 4 months ago

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Hi hello!

Your art is so exciting to see it is genuinely so fucking impressive to me how you see shape and form and value. It’s so so so smooth and dense/rich (??), and I love it. I’m getting back into digital art and Im currently reviewing the basics of shape, perspective and construction so I havent done any research into portraits but I’ve been dying to ask you how you do what you do. I’m sure its skill and lots and lots of practice but I wanna know like, how you think about approach a project like a portrait I guess. Feel free to respond with as much or as little detailed, and dont feel pressured (seriously) if I’m asking too much of you. Im content with whatever you got 🫡.

Do you use a different skillset/way of thinking/work flow for drawing portraits over drawing something else?

How do you tackle the whole process: like sketching first, blocking out general shapes and working from the outside in?

What do you do when you get stuck (do you move to a different part of the work or do a different project completely)?

And how long did it take you to get to where you were comfortable with that style?

Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say 🖤

And I'm happy to hear that you're getting back into digital art!

And don't worry, I'm more than happy to talk about art and how I do things. So thank you for your ask and I'll do my best to answer, but if you have any other questions at all, I'd be more than happy to try and help ☺️ I have a feeling this might be a long answer, so sorry in advance!

I approach portraits a little differently just because there's an expectation for it to look like the person I'm drawing. And if I'm doing a portrait, I only really know how to do it from a realistic perspective. I adore people who can do stylized portraits, but that's just something my brain can't do haha

For about a year or so before I started getting into colour realism, I did only black and grey pencil portraits, which I think really helped me to understand form and value, without having to worry about getting the colours right. And it helped adding elements of colour to those portraits, like flowers, so I could practice colour work whilst still working in black and grey and developing those fundamental skills. I'd taken traditional art classes before but for some reason moving to digital felt like a brain reset, and it took me a while of practicing and getting used to the new tools to start getting things to look the way I wanted them to.

Starting a portrait, I start with sketching out the big, general shapes. They're sort of your foundations to build from and I can use them as reference points when I'm going back and forth between the reference and the drawing when refining the details. Something that really helped me was actually when I got a realism colour portrait tattooed on my leg. I saw the stencil and how they'd use lighter or dotted lines to map out shadows and where they needed to change colours etc and it made a lot of sense in my brain. I started to do this in my sketches and then at the end of the portrait I can erase those guidlines because they've done their job. I sometimes leave them in because I quite like a sketchy look to my sketch/lineart. There's loads of realism tattoo timelapses on YouTube, which may be helpful

A tip I learned from watching Julia Lepetit from Drawfee on YouTube is to not use black when sketching because your brain thinks it's a final and permanent colour. I sketch mainly in red or green, and then use different colours if I have more than one subject in the drawing. Using colours just makes it feel less permanent, and I tend to be more loose when I'm drawing that way. I do this regardless if it's a portrait or something original. It helps me to visualise all of the different elements. Also! Drawfee's draw classes on Twitch are really useful and also nice to have on in the background, so you feel like you're drawing with someone! Which helps motivate me to draw.

When it comes to starting to work on the colour, I tend to work from dark to light. Which is why having my sketch in red or a colour helps it to stand out. I'll usually block in most of the portrait in the darkest colour that it's going to be or a general base colour, and then I'll start using midtones to block out shapes, slowly refining as I go until I'm at a point where I can zoom in with the tiny brushes and add in the details. I am so bad at remembering to take progress pictures, but I found a couple in my instagram stories.

If I ever get stuck on a part, I will move to another section of the portrait or take a break. Sometimes, when you're frustrated, the best thing to do is just walk away from it for 10-15 minutes and come back to it with fresh eyes and less tense hands, haha. I know some people can have multiple projects on the go, but I'm more the type that has to finish the one I'm on before I can move on to something else.

In terms of how long it took me to get comfortable with this style, I did my first digital colour realism portrait in December 2023 and I'd say I've only started feeling confident and comfortable with this style for the last couple of months - so it took maybe a year of solid practice, but I did have a number years experience in other art styles before colour realism that definitely helped. I've done quite a few portraits now, each taking between 10-20 hours, and I'm usually drawing for a few hours every day. The hours of practice soon mount up, and sometimes you start getting better without realising it. My favourite art teacher that I had in high school, said 'even if you hate the art you've just made, never throw it away because you'll have something to compare it to once you make something better'. I think I did the blue drawing around 2011, and I did the redraw of it in 2023. I keep absolutely everything I've ever done because sometimes I'll have the idea, but I don't yet have the skills to do it the way that I picture it in my head. And it helps to look back at old stuff when you feel like your art isn't improving or going anywhere. The most important thing, is to just be drawing!

All I can say is that consistency is key. Once you start practising regularly, over time, things will start to improve, and you'll find methods, styles, and work patterns that work for you, which leads to becoming more confident.

I think I've rambled a lot and may have missed some bits from your ask, but if there's anything else, please feel free to ask! And good luck on your art journey! 🖤

#this is so long im sorry #turns out I can talk a lot about art haha #I hope its helpful!#answered

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zerotoheroart · 8 months ago

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Hello! My name is JT and I suck at drawing. Lol. But I’m not beating myself up about it. I’ve done that for years already and I’m over that. So, just to bring you up to speed. I am in my late 20s and I’ve been drawing since I was about 19, so nearly ten years now of drawing almost every day. There’s just one problem, I leveled up in skill at around 22, or 23 and stopped. I haven’t gotten any better in any noticeable way since I was in my early 20s and I’ve finally become mature enough to admit why I still suck. I. Did. Not. Practice. Correctly. They say that practice makes perfect, but the reality is that perfect practice makes perfect. If you practice to do something the wrong way, you won’t learn how to do that thing correctly. It’s just as plain as that.

For the longest time, I felt like drawing was a magical thing, a gift bestowed upon the gods chosen few to be able to put pencil to paper and create worlds, objectify nature, tell stories, and just generally wow the socks off people. This is not the way it works, but for years I thought that to be the case. So although I’ve always wanted to be an artist and tell super cool stories, I never practiced drawing because when I was a kid I drew a picture as part of a school project and everyone laughed at it because it was so bad. (It was a picture of Pikachu from Pokemon and it was so awful the good artist in the class drew a picture of pikachu right next to mine just to show how much better she was than me). Anywho, mild childhood trauma aside, I didn’t try to draw seriously again until I was 19 and in college. I was getting a graphic design degree, and for those who don’t know, you don’t need drawing skills to do graphic design. Making logos and whatnot requires a good eye for design, color theory, etc., but not drawing skills. That said, some of the students in my class were extremely good at drawing and it reminded me how much I wanted to be good at something like that, so I bought a sketchbook and started drawing.

The problem was that I felt behind. I was 19 and most of the good artists in the class had been drawing since they were little kids, so I felt like I needed to find shortcuts to get gud quick! Basically I skipped right over the fundamentals and tried to use every shortcut imaginable to get to where I “wanted to be and should have been already”. I didn’t draw shapes, or work on perspective, or anatomy, or any of that crap. I didn’t have time! I needed to get good ASAP! So I brute forced that shit and skipped all the introductory stuff and went straight into characters, and architecture, and animals and animation….and I absolutely sucked. It wasn’t all bad, like I said before I got “better”, but never good, never to a level that would be considered professional by any means of the word. So I woke up with a rapidly approaching birthday realizing that I only had a short time before I was no longer a 20 something and became a 30 something. An existential crisis ensued.

My best friend in the whole world is an amazing artist. They are a 3D animator, and they can draw the most badass shit you can imagine as well. Meanwhile, I drew like a ten year old after a couple art classes. Not that I am comparing myself to anyone else, but my friend is proof that studying art the right way is the best way. So I swallowed my pride, looked myself in the mirror, and said “JT, you aren’t getting better at art. You have to change the way you do things or one day you’ll be 50, 60, 70 not drawing any better than you are now!” So I decided to empty my cup, admit I was a rank amateur, and needed proper study. I am back to square one. I accept that. I am taking on the mindset that today is the first day that I am learning how to draw. It will be years before I get to a professional level, but practicing in a professional manner will actually get me there, as long as I persevere. So here today I am at the wax on wax off stage of art. I’m drawing basic shapes. Hundreds, and hundreds of basic shapes, every single day for at least the next 14 days. I aim to at least do ten pages of shapes a day. Once I can do this with confidence, I will move on to volume and practice drawing 3D shapes like spheres and cubes.

I am writing this as a journal to not only motivate myself, but to hopefully motivate others to see someone go from zero to hero! I’m gonna be training like the main character from a shonen anime from now on until I get as strong at art as I can! My goal in life is to tell the one story I’ve always wanted to tell, and by jove I’m gonna do it. If you want to follow my journal and journey please stop by each week for new progress updates. I will be journaling this entire thing so that I can prove that with the right practice and effort ANYONE can become a good artist. Wish me luck!

#artists on tumblr #learning to draw #journaling

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mdenvs3000w24 · 1 year ago

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Ethics Beliefs and the Future of Interpretation (week 10)

Hey everyone, welcome back to another week of nature interpretation! I have some unfortunate news: this might be my last post in awhile. I’m moving on from blogging to explore where I can make meaningful contributions elsewhere.

That being said, I am excited to share some of my final thoughts about nature interpretation, and share my personal beliefs and ethics. As some of you may remember, my university major is Biological Science, but my courses have become progressively more focused on biodiversity and conservation as the years have gone on.

Personal Ethics

So, let’s get into my personal ethic as a nature interpreter. Now, there’s probably a million different things that comprise my views if I were to deeply analyze them, but let’s focus on the most important components. First, I believe in having a fundamental respect for the intrinsic value of nature, acknowledging that it exists for its own sake. Believing that nature has intrinsic value helps us reframe our interaction with natural resources as not something that is owed to us by nature, but rather something we should respectfully take only when we need to.

In terms of the art of interpretation itself, I believe that presenting authentic and scientifically accurate information about the natural world is paramount (Beck et al, Chapter 7, Serving Diverse Audiences). This should be obvious - we don’t want to give people misconceptions about nature. Nature already has so many interesting things to offer that exaggerating is both not necessary and unethical.

Something that is often overlooked is striving to make nature interpretation accessible and inclusive to people of all ages, backgrounds, abilities, and identities (Beck et al, Chapter 7, Serving Diverse Audiences). Nature is everyone’s heritage regardless of their background! These are but a few of my major guiding principles.

What Beliefs I bring

One of the most important beliefs I hold is that interpretation should empower others to take positive action based on their newfound understanding and appreciation of nature, especially through local communities. Learning to love and interpret the natural world is incredibly important, but action is necessary to make real changes. Urgent issues such as climate change, food scarcity, malnutrition, and loss of biodiversity are highly complex and contested in both science and society. To address them, environmental educators and science educators need to engage people (Wals et al., 2014). In this way interpretation benefits society by promoting healthy communities and helping to inform the public which democracy requires (Beck et al, Chapter 3, Values to Individuals and Society).

I’d also like to take a more detailed look at one of my ethics for interpreters ourselves. I believe that we should try to act in ways that minimize harm to the environment. Doing a better job recycling, planting native species, etc. This summer I am trying to grow a vegetable garden, and am continuously urging my family to convert parts of our yard to more native species. Even though addressing massive systemic problems is important - we should try to live out our values on a personal level.

Another primary belief I hold is that actions which protect nature actually work to promote human flourishing (Beck et al, Chapter 5, Guiding Principles). Let’s look at a practical example. Over the last number of decades, it has become extremely difficult to repair and acquire parts for appliances. This forces consumers to toss out their old stuff and buy new. Recently, there has been a focus on right to repair laws in Europe and Canada that would increase the ability of consumers to repair. This helps consumers as they aren't wasting money on brand new items and lessens the demand on nature for resource extraction and landfill facilities. These kinds of actions can be a win-win for people and the environment!

Here's a picture of me repairing something! I mean it counts right?

My Responsibilities

Lets look at my responsibilities - here’s a simple yet difficult one - staying positive. Interpreters are encouraged to have a sense of humor, and to not despair, but rather to find solace in nature (Beck et al, Chapter 5, Guiding Principles). There is plenty of nihilism regarding climate change and ecological destruction to be found, but this is not useful. We should act as though we truly can make a positive difference, because if we don’t we’re guaranteed to fail. I think this fits into another goal of interpretation which is to “enjoy understandingly” - we’re supposed to enjoy the natural world while understanding the real threats it faces (Beck et al, Chapter 3, Values to Individuals and Society).

I think another responsibility is to communicate well with people who disagree with you. It is easy to do interpretation with others who agree with you. For example, among the students and staff in my program, there is deep passion about conservation. However, there is some deviation between this setting and the general public. It gets much harder to interpret for example, when someone fundamentally has different beliefs than you do. A common example of this is climate change denialism. It is almost impossible to do interpretation without inevitably addressing climate change, and it's even a goal of some programs (Beck et al, Chapter 5, Guiding principles). Of course, your audience does have the right to retain and express their own values, but offering new perspectives, being respectful, and asking your audience where their beliefs come from can go a long way.

Individual Approach

Okay to end this off let’s take a specific look at how I can interpret best as an individual. I’ve been thinking about this a lot - I don’t know what specific ‘job’ or ‘career’ I want in this regard: will I become a park ranger or work in a museum? I mean I wouldn’t be opposed to trying out those roles but I just don’t know

At the end of the day, I could realistically see myself working at a summer camp as a counselor and leading a cabin in tons of fun and chaotic activities while still helping them connect to nature. I know I would personally enjoy that setting, which would obviously help me display enthusiasm naturally in my role. The fond memories that they’ll carry with them will instill a love of nature. We obviously aren't perfectly rational: we don’t just care about nature because of rote facts relating to how much timber we extract from forests for housing. We are often led by emotion and our personal experiences. In whatever role I hold, I will strive to maintain the ethics and approaches I listed above, and continue to hone my communication and interpretation skills!

Anyway, that's all for now folks!

I wasn’t sure how to end this post, so here’s a picture of a cute young snapping turtle that I forgot that I had taken until now

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World. SAGAMORE Publishing.

Wals, A. E., Brody, M., Dillon, J., & Stevenson, R. B. (2014). Convergence between science and environmental education. Science, 344(6184), 583–584. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1250515

#interpretation #ethics #climate action #climate crisis #community

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boba9 · 2 years ago

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Forex For Dummies: A Hobbyist’s Guide to Currency Trading

Hello there, fellow traders and aspiring enthusiasts! I’ve been navigating the fascinating world of Forex trading as a hobby for a good few years now. If you’re considering diving into this exhilarating pastime, you’ve come to the right place. This article will serve as your introduction to Forex trading, breaking down the key terms, concepts, and processes you’ll need to know.

Quick Plug: Hey, I’m Ingrid Olsen, dabbling in Forex trading whenever I get a chance. I’ve been using decodefx.com (by Decode Global) for my trades and seriously, it’s a game-changer. User-friendly, secure, and filled with useful features — it’s got everything you need for a smooth trading experience. Give it a go, and you’ll see what I mean!

The ABCs of Forex

Forex — short for foreign exchange — is all about trading one currency for another. It’s the world’s most liquid financial market, with daily trading volumes exceeding a staggering $5 trillion. What’s unique about Forex is that it’s decentralized — there’s no central exchange, and trades happen directly between two parties, round the clock, five days a week.

Let’s Talk Pairs

In the Forex market, currencies are traded in pairs, like EUR/USD (Euro/US Dollar). The first currency listed (EUR) is known as the ‘base’ currency, and the second one (USD) is the ‘quote’ or ‘counter’ currency. The value of a currency pair indicates how much of the quote currency it takes to buy one unit of the base currency. So, if EUR/USD is trading at 1.20, it means you need 1.20 US dollars to buy 1 Euro.

Interpreting Forex Quotes

When you see a Forex quote, you’ll notice two prices: the ‘bid’ and ‘ask’ price. The ‘bid’ is the price you can sell the base currency for, while the ‘ask’ is the price you can buy it. The difference between these two prices is the ‘spread’ — which is essentially your broker’s commission for the trade.

Going Long or Short

In Forex trading, you can ‘go long’ or ‘go short’. Going long means you’re buying the base currency because you believe it will increase in value against the quote currency. Conversely, going short means you’re selling the base currency as you think its value will decrease.

The Power of Leverage

One distinctive aspect of Forex trading is the use of ‘leverage’. Leverage is like a loan from your broker, allowing you to control a much larger amount than your actual investment. For instance, with 100:1 leverage, you can control $100,000 with just a $1,000 investment. But be careful — while leverage can amplify your gains, it can also magnify your losses.

The Art of Analysis

Successful Forex trading involves market analysis. This usually involves:

Fundamental Analysis: Examining economic data, political events, and social factors that could affect currency values. These can range from policy changes to economic reports and global events.

Technical Analysis: Using charts and statistical indicators to predict future price movements. Techniques might include analyzing trend lines, support and resistance levels, and using mathematical indicators.

Minimizing Risk

Forex trading, like any investment, carries risk. It’s crucial to manage this risk by setting stop-loss orders to limit potential losses, never risking more than a small percentage of your trading capital on a single trade, and keeping emotions out of trading decisions.

Finding a Broker

To start trading Forex, you’ll need to open an account with a Forex broker. Look for a regulated broker with a user-friendly platform, competitive spreads, good customer service, and hassle-free deposit and withdrawal options.

Final Thoughts

Forex trading can be a thrilling hobby, but it’s important to understand the basics before jumping in. Take the time to learn and practice (many brokers offer demo accounts), and don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Remember, the aim is not just to make profits, but also to enjoy the journey of becoming a savvy Forex trader. Happy trading!

Story by Ingrid Olsen

#forex #forextrading

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ingridolsentrades · 2 years ago

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Forex For Dummies: A Hobbyist’s Guide to Currency Trading

The ABCs of Forex

Let’s Talk Pairs

Interpreting Forex Quotes

Going Long or Short

The Power of Leverage

The Art of Analysis

Successful Forex trading involves market analysis. This usually involves:

Fundamental Analysis: Examining economic data, political events, and social factors that could affect currency values. These can range from policy changes to economic reports and global events.

Minimizing Risk

Finding a Broker

Final Thoughts

Ingrid Olsen

#forex #finance #forexindicator #forexmarket #forexstrategy

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wintermelonbear · 4 years ago

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Artistry

Pairing: Damian Al-Ghul Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Trope/s: Childhood Friends, No Powers AU

Summary: A story in which two seemingly dissimilar eight-year-olds build bonds through their love for martial arts. Written for the MGI Trope Tussle 2021.

Words: 4808

Damian and Marinette first met when they were 8 at his mother’s Wushu studio. At first glance they were an unlikely duo, before meeting in martial arts class their social circles ran entirely parallel with one another with Damian attending a private school that was a feeder for Gotham academy and Marinette attending a public elementary local to her, but they truly brought out the best in each other.

Damian had grown up inside his mother’s studio, working day in and day out from the tender age of 3 to improve his weaponry and martial arts skill. His mother and father, divorced but trying their best to co-parent for his sake, each preached to him about the importance of self-discipline and concentration. When his mother and her father, Ras himself a master martial artist, had competed in Wushu they were national champions. As a third-generation practitioner of Wushu, Damian had a lot riding on his shoulders.

Marinette’s mother had practiced Wushu as a child in China. When she first arrived in France she found herself disappointed that there were no local Chinese martial arts centers, let alone Wushu training centers. Sabine always thought it would be a passion she could pass down to her future child, but there was only so much she could teach on her own. However, as fate would have it, after a falling out with Tom’s father Roland the Dupain-Chengs found themselves in a city not too far from Gotham, New Jersey. Sabine was pleasantly surprised to find that the martial arts scene was much more alive there than it had been in Paris. However, between the bakery and her young daughter Sabine had little time to spend practicing martial arts. It wasn’t until Marinette’s kindergarten teacher suggested that Marinette be enrolled in a sport to better her hand-eye coordination that Sabine finally put her daughter into formal martial arts courses.

At first, everything was fine until it became apparent that Marinette was progressing much faster than her peers, despite her typical clumsiness she was surprisingly adept at martial arts. Sabine wasn’t entirely surprised as while Wushu was difficult to teach within the confined space they had at home, she still took the time to practice Tai Chi with her daughter on the weekends, providing Marinette with martial arts fundamentals and self-discipline. With Marinette’s slight inclination for martial arts paired with her hard work she was outperforming her classmates and even some of the older kids at the studio she went to. Eventually, Marinette found herself ostracized by her peers, but her teachers at the studio refused to advance her because they had an in-house rule where children could not be advanced more than two years past their age group. Tom and Sabine knew that pulling Marinette out of the sport entirely was off the table, the pure joy that spread across her face every time she mastered a new trick was proof enough that she was in love with the sport. So they set off to find a new studio to train at, where Marinette’s needs as a budding martial artist would be met. After looking around for a while, they decided to give Talia’s Wushu academy a try despite it being a little over a 30-minute drive from their house.

In regards to the first year of their friendship, Marinette would describe it as very professional, and almost nothing more. It took a while for Damian to become more cordial with her. When asked, Marinette would say “Damian didn’t like me, but he tolerated me enough as a partner because there was only so much practice he could have done alone.”

At first, Damian did not like Marinette at all, in fact, maybe he even hated her. When he first met her, Damian thought she was like every other “talented” kid that came into his mother’s studio, only to realize talent alone would get you nowhere in the sport of Wushu. On her first day, she immediately took up the spot next to him at the front and center of the class and offered him a warm smile, “Hello my name is Marinette, I’m new here.” Damian returned her greeting with a harsh tut of his tongue and the turn of his head, he was there to train, not to make friends. Marinette’s expression was aghast, but she quickly recovered and mumbled a soft “okay not talkative then…this is going great….” Damian suppressed an eye roll, simply because he knew his mother would not tolerate that in her classroom.

Against every one of Damian’s expectations, Marinette proved herself to be a hard-working individual. Eventually, after seeing her work on her technique and tricks after class during open gym hours, seeing that she wasn’t relying purely on natural ability and truly was putting in the effort to become a better martial artist, he began to tolerate her. The first time he returned her daily “Hello” with the nod of his head Marinette’s facial expression went from neutral to shocked to absolutely beaming. Damian simply raised his eyebrow and continued with his pre-class warmup.

Over time Marinette had grown a deep respect for Damian; she wished he was a bit friendlier, but despite their rough start Marinette realized early on that, while gruff and unfriendly, Damian was kind in his own way. He always pointed out when someone’s technique was wrong so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves, he always helped bandage someone up when they were hurt, and he always stayed after class to help his mom clean up. Most people would think he did it out of obligation or his mother’s demands, but Marinette loves people watching, and even after just a few months Marinette has observed that Talia would rather Damian use the time to better himself and will insist that she, or one of their workers, handle the menial tasks.

It was not until Damian saw Marinette work through her struggles that he gained respect for her. While Wushu is a largely performative sport where everyone’s moves are choreographed, Talia wanted to ensure everyone was also learning basic self-defense resulting in regularly held sparring sessions at the end of class. Marinette was a great performer, she was highly expressive and could easily recall choreography, but she had minimal exposure to actual sparring and her reflexes were not as sharp and trained like the others. She managed to win against her opponents in the first few classes by utilizing her creativity, but eventually, her lack of experience caught up with her and in her third month at the studio, she began her losing streak. Looking at her lose to her opponents time and time again he couldn’t help but wonder to himself, “will you still be here tomorrow?” Growing up in the studio, Damian knew that most of the people who were considered to be “gifted” had a tendency to drop out the moment things no longer came naturally to them, they grew frustrated with themselves and then with the sport. At this point, he figured he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead, the stage was set for her to become the most prevalent figure in his life.

Despite being in the same classes for over 3 months Damian and Marinette had never sparred. It was actually quite odd that they hadn’t yet sparred, the pairings for the most part were random. Talia reasoned that with the right circumstances even someone who seems weak could win; it was important to never underestimate an opponent and lower your guard. After bowing to one another their eyes met. If you asked them as adults they would unabashedly say that they love the other’s eyes, it was like staring at the calm before a storm. Their eyes were clear, fierce, and piercing. Despite being clearly disadvantaged Marinette showed no fear. She met his first few strikes blow for blow and even managed to evade a few of his strikes with a few unique tumbling passes – something Damian noted that she excelled in. He could tell she has been studying him, observing his strike patterns from his previous matches. Rather than reacting to his strikes, she was anticipating them – a smart move considering her reflexes were lacking. Unfortunately for Marinette, this meant that one unanticipated fake was all it took to defeat her.

That night during open gym hours Marinette approached Damian on her own for the first time. “There is only so much I can practice on my own, please train with me.”

“Why would I do that?” Damian held his face firm, his mouth in a thin line and his eyebrow slightly quirked.

Marinette’s eyes steeled over with conviction. “Did you know that every time you get up from xie bu you duck your chin down in your struggle to regain balance? It’s obvious you’re trying to shift your center of gravity. Instead, try leaning on your front leg from the beginning. The first few times you try this method, you should put a ball between your chin and neck to keep your head held up until you get used to it.”

“How did you–?”

“Notice? I love observing others, I can help you. There’s only so much we can practice on our own. I need help with my reflexes and you need someone who can review your performances. We can’t do this alone. You don’t have to like me, you just have to work with me. What do you say? Deal?”

“Tch. Deal.”

At first, their conversations mainly consisted of Marinette’s one-sided chatter during their warm-up, breaks, and cool-down stretches. It took a while for Marinette to get Damian to open up, but once she found the right topics she found that he was strongly opinionated about almost everything and shared quite a few hobbies with her. While Wushu was the common interest that brought them together, they were much more alike than they thought. They both enjoyed art, video games, and superhero shows to name a few common interests. Damian would say he would want to be a hero without any powers, someone who relies on their own skill to punish evil-doers. Marinette on the other hand would love to be a magical girl who could save others without causing too much damage. After hotly debating the topic of normal heroes and powered heroes, Damian and Marinette came to an agreement that both sides had their own set of struggles and perks.

Damian and Marinette found themselves spending more time with each other both inside and outside of the studio. After arguing over which type of paint was superior, Marinette was team watercolor because of its varied use, relative cheapness to oil paints, and blendability where Damian was a more traditional artist who believed that the blending capabilities of oil paint were just as good, if not better, and their longevity was worth the cost, the two decided to settle it with a paint off. Art sessions quickly became a biweekly tradition between the two, whenever the Gotham botanical garden would have a new exhibit Marinette would insist they go to sketch the flora. Damian quickly found that Marinette was almost as passionate about plants as he was about animals, with the way she flitted about the garden he couldn’t help but wonder if she had been something like a ladybug in her past life. There were also plenty of weekends spent sketching Damian’s pets, though Marinette would note that no drawings could capture what good boys Titus, Alfred the Cat, Jerry the Turkey, and Bat Cow were.

Together they found new ways to integrate Wushu into their hobbies, Marinette had plenty of friends at school who loved art and plenty of friends who did Wushu at the same center, but Damian was the only one she shared nearly all her passions with.

With their art, they began making flyers and posters for the studio, and banners to cheer on their classmates at competitions – Damian would argue he only did this because it would increase morale, which in turn would produce better results for the studio. Marinette struggled with the posters at first as a lot of proposed designs incorporated traditional Chinese characters, she couldn’t even write in Pinyin! Tom and Sabine had prioritized teaching Marinette about her French roots, in the event that one day they decided to move back to France, and neglected teaching her much about Chinese heritage. Marinette still learned basic conversational phrases: yes, no, please, thank you, and familial titles, but she was nowhere near conversational or fluent. After realizing Marinette did not know how to speak Mandarin Damian made it his personal goal to make her at least conversational before they would begin to travel internationally for competitions. Many of the major Wushu competitions took place in China and if Marinette was going to be his partner in the couples division he was going to make sure she was able to converse with any interviewers they may meet, and that if she were to end up lost – he swears Marinette was born without a sense of direction – that she could find her way back to him or their hotel. He hoped that while working on the banners he could work in a few lessons on traditional Chinese characters and simplified Chinese characters so that Marinette could at least read signs. Apart from art, reenacting scenes from video game cutscenes and superhero movies became one of their favorite activities, it became a way to train while still having plenty of fun. Sometimes after mastering a new move-in Ultimate Mecha Strike, they would break out the crash mats to test if the moves in the game were actually physically possible.

Even the hobbies Damian didn’t share with Marinette he was willing to partake in, and the fact that he was trying meant the world to Marinette. Damian was rarely physically affectionate in the first few years of their friendship, and it was even rarer for him to vocalize his emotions, and so Marinette quickly learned that Damian had a tendency to express himself through his actions. A lot of people failed to see how warm and loving Damian truly was, but Marinette saw it in how he interacted with everyone. For example, when Damian’s eldest brother opened up an acrobatics and gymnastics center Damian immediately volunteered to design and paint a mural on the outside that would more easily catch attention, Marinette watched him alter the design day and night and sort through hundreds of color palettes to ensure the pairing was just right. She saw his kindness through his interactions with his family and hers, the painting of her mom and dad baking, a gift from Damian for their 20th anniversary, hung up in the living room was more physical proof of it. When Marinette began sewing he proudly wore her designs and when she began to take commissions, he always kept her business card on his body in the event someone asked about his apparel.

One of Marinette’s fondest memories with Damian was when they decided to host a bake sale to offset the cost of international travel for the competition team. It was near the Mid-Autumn festival so Marinette and her parents decided to make mooncakes. Damian had some experience in the kitchen helping his mother make baozi and baklava, but he definitely wasn’t as experienced as Marinette who grew up in a bakery, yet he still came over to help them with the first few test batches and to help design packaging. Watching him carefully weigh out the ingredients her parents listed and chat about his favorite flavors with her parents in French filled her with so much warmth. The kitchen was filled with banter as a discourse between traditional baked mooncakes and skin mooncakes arose. Marinette and Sabine preferred snow skin mooncakes, the chewiness pairs well with pastes like red bean and taro, where Damian and Tom were strongly on the side of the more traditionally baked mooncake, arguing that the crumble of the pastry paired with fillings like salted egg and lotus paste was clearly superior. Marinette was unsurprised that Damian was strongly advocating for traditional flavors, but her father? The same man who made mustard macarons? It wasn’t until Marinette suggested thousand-layer mooncakes were simply croissants with a pasty filling that everyone else was willing to set aside their different preferences to unite against her. While the thousand layer mooncakes and traditional mooncakes baked, and the snow skin mooncakes steamed Marinette and Damian got to work on the packaging. In order to reduce cost, they had ordered plain packaging and planned to carve potato stamps with Mid-Autumn festival motifs: the moon, rabbits, flowers, fans, and lanterns. Despite having seen how proficient Damian was with a blade in training, Marinette was pleasantly surprised, if not downright awed, by Damian’s precision with a knife. By the time Marinette had finished carving out one flower Damian had finished three lantern carvings. After finishing stamping the final package Marinette daringly pressed the still paint-laden potato stamp onto Damian’s cheek which quickly devolved into a paint fight. The picture of Damian and Marinette covered head to two in paint was proudly pinned at the top of her corkboard, Marinette would never forget the sound of the kitchen filled with laughter that day.

Damian’s parents were extremely supportive of this arrangement. Talia thought it was a great opportunity, open gym hours were busy and she couldn’t give all her attention to Damian, having a training partner could really help him grow. If they got along well they could even enter paired events together! Bruce was enthralled that his son found someone to spend time with other than his friend Clark’s son, Jon. Jon and Damian were great friends, but Jon lived in Metropolis and so the boys rarely saw each other outside of business galas and Skype calls. It was nice knowing his son had someone he could spend time with in person, Bruce was concerned that Damian’s interpersonal growth would be stunted by his lack of interaction with his classmates at school. To see his son being a kid, laughing freely, filled him with great joy, he knew that being the son of a billionaire and a top-notch martial artist had put a lot of pressure on Damian’s shoulders, but he never knew what he could do to help his son. Seeing the walls in Damian’s room at the manor fill up with pictures of him and Marinette smiling, Damian smiling, made Bruce figure that everything was going to be okay.

Sabine and Tom grew to love Damian like their own son with the more time he spent at each other’s houses. At first, they were a bit skeptical, they didn’t quite understand what their daughter saw in the boy, but they trusted her judgment and boy are they glad they did. Damian was like a missing piece of their family, despite his hard exterior, the boy was extremely loyal and caring, they could always count on him to have Marinette’s back. Sabine especially had a soft spot for him after watching him correct Marinette’s brush strokes on the banners, teaching her the differences between what she wrote and what he was writing. The two watched their daughter give herself wholly to this boy, and in return, he gave himself back to her and that was all they could’ve ever wanted for Marinette, to love and be loved.

As they grew older they shared more than just common interests: their dreams, their fears, and the pressure they faced from their families. Marinette knew what she wanted for herself – something Damian was envious of. When they were 11 to offset the competition costs, Marinette’s mother began designing and sewing their competition outfits. Once Marinette saw what her mother was doing she wanted to help, and she ended up falling in love with fashion design. From the age of 13 and onward Marinette designed all of her own stage wear, as well as Damian’s. Sabine would joke that with such a talented daughter it’s a shame they didn’t stay in Paris. Damian wouldn’t admit it – Marinette would – but the thought of possibly never meeting Marinette made him feel uncomfortably empty; he wonders how he bore with that feeling before becoming close with Marinette. Damian wasn’t sure what he wanted for himself, he would love to take over his mother’s Wushu studio, maybe even expand it, but he was always raised with the expectation that one day he would inherit his father’s corporation. Despite loving both options, loving both his parents, there was also a part of him that wanted something that was completely Damian, he had already spent so much of his life living in the shadow of his parents. It wasn’t until high school that Damian opened up to Marinette about this, as the time to make decisions grew closer Damian naturally grew more anxious about his future. Marinette rarely gets the chance to comfort Damian, oftentimes he bottles his emotions up until they’re ready to burst, and even then Marinette has to slowly coax him into talking about them, even if it is with his brothers and not her, she just wants him to feel safe with his own emotions. The first time Damian opened up to her about the pressure he felt as his parent’s only biological son she immediately swept him into her arms, stroking his hair she began to tell him about how loved he was. She told him “Damian I love you, your family loves you, my family loves you. I just want you to know how loved you are. I speak not only for myself, but for everyone who loves you when I say this, do what makes you happy. Your parents will be happy as long as you are, they trust that they raised you to make good decisions for yourself. Even if you don’t know what it is that makes you happy yet, don’t be afraid to explore your options; I’ll be right here by your side and I’m going to support you no matter what. You’ve told me before that even if you inherit the studio Maya would co-own it with you, or even if you inherit your father’s business you would be working alongside your brothers. You are not alone, the world is not riding on solely your shoulders.” Damian was completely silent, if not for the wetness on her shoulder and his grip tightening around her, Marinette would figure he was unphased. Marinette has known that she loves this boy, far past the platonic love she just expressed, but for Damian, it was at this moment that he realized that not only was he loved, but he was in love with Marinette.

“WELCOME TO THE WORLD WUSHU CHAMPIONSHIPS 2019 LIVE FROM GOTHAM, NEW JERSEY” roared overhead on the speakers.

Damian and Marinette were standing in a hall away from the main room where other contestants were preparing themselves both appearance-wise and physically. Marinette herself was fixing the crown braid in her hair. The women’s event would take place in the morning to late afternoon, where the men’s event in the evening giving Damian ample time before he needs to warm up to support Marinette. He gave Marinette’s ensemble a once over and with his cheeks tinged red he muttered “I like your costume, you look really cute”, quickly averting his gaze.

Marinette immediately flushed, almost as red as the silken top that adorned her torso, and brought the hands that were adjusting her braids down to her hips and leaned forward, exclaiming in a hushed shout as to not disturb the other competitors warming up, “Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, are you making fun of me? I just want to make sure that any pictures taken do not make me look like a hot mess. Could you imagine what could happen if Audrey Bourgeois sees pictures of me completely frumpled looking and cancels my apprenticeship?? Oh my God and then Parson’s will find out and rescind me and then I won’t be able to visit you at NYU!” Marinette’s hands now rested on her cheeks smearing away her perfectly placed blush. How Marinette managed to go from disgruntled to spiraling in less than a minute is still a mystery that still eludes Damian after years of friendship, but it was his duty to calm her down. He understands her nerves, they had spent the last few years dominating the juniors division and as they entered the senior division there was a lot of pressure for them to win there too. Unfortunately, for every person who wanted them to win, another five were praying for them to slip up, but now is not the time to be overcome by nerves, her turn would come soon and she cannot afford to be overwhelmed by nerves.

Damian fully grasped her wrists pulling her hands away from her face, “Marinette, genuinely you look stunning”. After that comment, Damian noted to himself that it seems like there was no more need for the blush she applied anyways. With the soft tut of his tongue, he smoothed out the harsh lines of her smeared blush using the pad of his thumb. He whispered, just loud enough for her to hear, “Don’t worry too much about your hair and makeup, the most important thing is your form”. Marinette leaned into his touch and gave a small nod, calming down from her spiraling thoughts, he always knew how to ground her.

“Contestant number 54 you’re up next!”

“That’s you; you might want to fix up your makeup real quick, but everything is going to be fine.” He handed her a bag with her cosmetics and a wipe and quickly clapped his hands around her shoulders to guide her to the main stage so she could focus on herself.

Fixing her makeup Marinette shot him a cheeky grin, “wish me luck?”

“You don’t need luck. Marinette you have the skill, you know that.”

“Next up is Marinette Dupain-Cheng from New Jersey, USA! She is definitely a fan favorite to win today on the Women’s Taolu floor. She is internationally known for competing not only in the women’s division but also in the couples’ scene. She’s been training for the individual event from the age of six and for the partner event from the age of nine with her studio mate Damian Al-Ghul Wayne, who is predicted to win the Men’s Taolu event. While we do not have a couples’ Wushu competition here, since turning 18 they have been dominating the senior international couples’ Wushu scene and have gone undefeated.”

Taking off her team jacket, with a quick nod to her parents, Talia, and of course, Damian Marinette strode to the center stage. Damian would never grow sick of watching her transform on stage, it was strikingly similar to the magical girl shows she had been obsessed with as a child. The moment Marinette stepped onto the mat her whole demeanor changed. Her back straightened up, her head would be held high, and most of all, the look in her eyes was filled with inextinguishable fire.

By the end of the event after getting changed Marinette and Damian were making their way to his car. Once Damian turned 16 and got his license, it became a tradition for them to go out for a celebratory meal together without their parents. “Marinette!” Damian heard a voice call out, Agreste he noted in his head. Marinette had met Agreste and Tsurugi while vacationing in Paris. While they weren’t the worst, in fact, Tsurugi was typically pleasant company, Damian was in no mood to socialize after the several rounds of interviews he had to endure after winning first place in Men’s Taolu. Many of the interviewers failed to understand that while yes, he had more opportunities to train as he is a third-generation Wushu champion, it was his hard work that got him to where he was, not his genetics.

Seeing Damian continue on to his car, not wanting to keep him waiting, Marinette quickly bid them farewell with a promise to see them tomorrow. “Hey wait for me!” Marinette called out, running after Damian. Despite his pride usually preventing him from heeding to his peers’ commands, Damian stopped in his tracks, his breath shallow and wondering why Marinette’s voice still makes his heartthrob despite having heard it call out to him for over 10 years. Feeling her hands latch around his arm gave him a sense of comfort. Her grip was strong and steady, yet still gentle. He couldn’t help but envision his hand in hers instead of his arm. The bouquet and hand-painted card in his car were waiting to see if she felt the same.

#Maribat #MGI Trope Tussle 2021 #Daminette #Damian x Marinette #please send help idk how to write #if by any chance Issa is reading this ILY #Team Childhood Friends

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ink-fireplace-coffee · 4 years ago

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Marble and Magic Monday!

(even if it's Tuesday)

A/N: you know last time I gave you fluff so I thought a dash of angst would be enough to balance things out!

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“Soo,” Skyla started with a devilish grin, “are you two engaged yet?”

Agatha choked with the food she was eating and started coughing. Jasper turned so red it was almost purple.

“Mom!” Agatha wheezed. “How can you ask that!”

“Well, Ags, you mom has a point, you know?” Fay tried to explain.

“A point?!”

“Kit married last summer, after all.” Skyla shrugged. “You both have been dating for what? Four years?”

“Five,” corrected Jasper in a whisper.

“Five years!” exclaimed Skyla, “And no engagement ring! Wait,” she paused and opened her eyes, “do you even want to get married?”

“I don’t know mom, maybe?” Agatha, finally calming down, passed a hand down her face in exhaustion. She loved Skyla but she could be...Intrusive in her relationship. “In between my promotion at the Museum and Jasper working every other weekend do you even think we have time to discuss-”

“Actually,” Jasper interrupted his girlfriend and turned to her, his stomach already full of butterflies. “I’ve been wondering if you-”

He stopped, noticing how Agatha’s mouth opened and formed a nearly perfect O.

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“Agatha, ¡di que sí!” urged Fay while kicking her daughter’s leg. Both Fay and Skyla knew Jasper was the one for her.

Practically as if they were soulmates.

The girl in her late twenties turned to look at Jasper when he plopped down on one knee in front of her.

“I- I don’t even have the ring here or the speech ready, because the original plan was not to do it in the middle of the family dinner, but…” Jasper was looking at her like she was everything he ever wanted. He cleared his throat, buying a few more seconds of time to mentally prepare himself.“The first time I told you that we were destined to be together you laughed in my face, Wilder (which I honestly deserved, to be honest), but with the years, I’ve been proving you wrong every single time.-” He smiled then, a proud grin Agatha had learned to adore- “And I don’t really know how our lives are gonna be, but I know I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Agatha. I think I know it since I saw you.”

Jasper was nervous as Hell. He didn’t even know if Ags wanted to get married, Stars!

Fay was proud of her son-in-law. He had been there for her daughter every single time things didn’t turn out the way she wanted to, and had understood the most fundamental thing: Agatha was the most important thing in the Wilder family. No matter what.

Skyla was elated: her daughter getting married to Jasper would be probably one of her favorite days (along with her own wedding to Fay). She simply wished for the couple to be as happy as they could be.

Agatha… Agatha was trying to understand what on Earth was happening in the middle of her family dinner at her mothers’ house in the dining room. They had been eating just a few minutes ago!

Did she want to get married? She wasn’t opposed to the idea of marrying Jasper, of course but-

Who was going to pay for the whole thing anyway? And when was it going to be? Didn’t they both have too much on their plates already to add the pressure of organizing a wedding on top of all that?

She could practically feel how all the blood abandoned her face at once.

Jasper seemed to notice that as well.

“Ags? Are you… Are you okay?” All the butterflies in his stomach died and were replaced by the monster of fear. Was she going to say no? Maybe he gave the step too early, maybe she was going to break up with him and there he was like an idiot proposing to a woman that didn’t feel the same!

The seconds seemed to pass, and Agatha couldn’t stop looking at her boyfriend like a deer in the headlights.

Her brain wasn’t able to come up with an answer to the question! Not even with words to reassure him! She wanted to scream something, anything, but her voice was gone!

“Ags” Jasper finally finally got up and put his hand on top of hers, “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I- I don’t even know what I was thinking, okay?” he tried to chuckle, to make it light-hearted, but it sounded empty and sad. “I should’ve asked you if you even wanted to get married and-” the guy took a sharp breath in, trying to stop his voice from shaking, trying to hold his heart together for a bit longer. This wasn’t about him now, he would deal with the hopeless feeling inside his chest later. “I’m sorry.”

When Jasper closed the front door and left, Agatha felt the knot in her throat loose a little.

“Agatha, is everything alright?” asked Fay softly.

“This is all your fault!” she finally screamed, feeling rage taking control. “Why couldn’t you just let us be?!”

She stood up from her chair not knowing what to do with that much energy.

“I said it as a joke, daughter, I never knew you didn’t want to-” Skyla tried to apologize but the younger of the Wilders had other plans.

“It’s not what I want to do! I wasn’t going to reject him I just didn’t want it to be…” she gestured around her.

“You didn’t want it to be like what?”

“Like this! With you pressuring him and looking at us and telling me what to say mom!”

After that, Agatha had put on her coat and grabbed her purse, trying to see if there was a way to make things right for once.

Why was everything so complicated for her and Jasper?

Why did happiness seem so far away?

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Taglist! (ask to be +/-)

@enchanted-lightning-aes

@alexwritesfiction

@fuyugomori

@euphoniouspandemonium

@fiercely-raging-writer

@dontcrywrite

@writing-is-a-martial-art

@47crayons

@the-writing-moon

@neliakey

@shamblingthing

@kingsinking

#marble and magic monday #my writing #m&m #writers of tumblr #writing #am writing #original writing #spilled ink #writeblr

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rotworld · 4 years ago

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Voice and Style

an anon asked:

Do you have any tips for learning how to write in a different writing style?

and honestly i just went off the rails lmfao this is a long post, but hopefully it's useful. i wasn't 100% sure what you meant by style, but i assume you mean more along the lines of "voice" than the difference between like narrative, persuasive, etc. but let me know if you meant something else! what i'm going to do is 1) talk about voice in writing, 2) author voice vs character voice and examples, and 3) actually answer the question. i promise 1 and 2 are relevant to get to 3!

to start we need to break down what "voice" is. this is a term that gets thrown around a lot when people talk about writing, and i've heard people get a little heated about it lol but i'll give my take at least. there are actually two kinds of voice: the writer's voice, and character voice. we'll start by focusing on the former.

describing an author's voice is tricky, because it's largely subjective. some parts of it are concrete and easy to analyze, while others are down to the author's personality, perspective, and life experience. while it is something that you continue to hone as you gain experience, it isn't something you can measure or "rank" comparatively. so...what the hell is it lol

if we boil it down to the simplest components, here's what i think goes into voice: tone, syntax, word choice, and perspective. this isn't all that voice is, but these are the fundamental building blocks, and the way you use them is a mix of personal preference/affinity, your level of experience as a writer, and who you are outside of writing.

->tone is often described as the "attitude" of your writing, the mood you evoke with a combination of the other components. in "twelve moments in the life of an artist," david sedaris recounts his struggles with an attempt at an art career and a meth addiction, simultaneously. the subject matter is difficult and emotionally distressing, but because it's sedaris writing it, it's fucking hilarious. it's funny because of the tone, the ridiculous statements he makes, the witty observations and the flippant way he describes things. someone else could write the same story and make it a dramatic tragedy, but sedaris' tone is one of humor.

->syntax is the way a writer constructs their sentences. i know this sounds boring lol but it can play a huge role in a writer's voice. when do you use long and complex sentences versus short and simple ones? do you use repetition, and for what purpose? when do you use active or passive voice? for example, "the monster bit him" vs "he was bitten by the monster." these sentences mean the same thing but have a subtle difference in where the focus is. these might seem like small, insignificant details, but they can drastically change how a work sounds. the rhythm of your writing also ties into syntax.

->word choice is just how it sounds: what words do you use when you write? are you more of a "purple prose" type who likes flowery, detailed descriptions, or are you more sparse and "beige?" do you use certain phrases of colloquialisms?

->perspective is straightforward, too. do you like or have a tendency for 1st, 2nd or 3rd person? there's some variation in 3rd person, too, like omniscient 3rd or close 3rd. i think a writer's strength and preference in this, as well as when they deviate, also contributes to their voice.

but what about character voice? this is kind of similar, but limited to specific characters and how you portray them. it includes their dialogue and word choice but also their perspective or worldview, their opinions, and their personality expressed by their interactions. it's the kind of thing that differentiates characters speaking even without a speech tag to label them. there might be really extreme differences between character voices and the author's voice, depending on the character.

i always feel kind of narcissistic using my own work as an example lmao but i think changeling is a good example, since each passage is super focused on a particular character and their perspective. in first person, or close 3rd like this, a character voice can come out in narration. huntress sounds like this:

The hunt ends. Her catch, meager. Still, she will not waste it. Wolf Mother travels far to see the meat put to good use.

She walks the crossroads, strange paths through the strange world. Sniffs out the road she needs and steps through thick fog. Darkness gives way to orange autumn haze. Eternal harvest season. Blackened corn rots on the stalk. Machinery rusts in the fields. Bloated animal bodies decay in old barns. It is sad and stifling, the stench of forgotten things. And there—the farmer’s son. Lopsided boy. He stands on his porch, wiping blood and grime from his hammer. Distrustful, he watches Wolf Mother. Above, a slow-turning weathervane creaks.

her sentences are often short and choppy. the unusual syntax (the hunt ends. her catch, meager) gives it a feeling like a feral stream of consciousness. rotten corn, machine rust and bodies decaying are visceral, smelly descriptions because her sense of smell is especially strong and she relies on it to interact with the world. in contrast, ghostface sounds like this:

He’s hanging around Haddonfield when She comes calling, because he doesn’t have a realm of his own. Oh, no, no, no, of course it’s not a problem. He doesn’t mind at all, honest! It’s just, you know, he’s real good at this whole ritualistic murder thing. Got a knack for it, you might say. He was something of a professional before he ever got brought on board with an impressive résumé spanning most of the continental United States—not that he’s bragging, of course. He’s just experienced, motivated, highly-organized, versatile, and frankly, overqualified.

this is almost conversational. he's "hanging around," he's "got a knack for it," like the way you talk to a friend. his narration has a very informal and emotive vocabulary. he talks about his skill at murdering people like he's at a job interview, and he's extremely arrogant. my hope, as the author, is that all of this comes across and you get a strong sense of these characters just from brief passages.

finally, we can go back to the original question lol how do you write in a different "style?" i think you have to analyze different styles and voices, and figure out what you're going for. do you want to write something dreamy and surreal, or more dry and sarcastic? what tone are you going for, and how can your usage of word choice, syntax and perspective help you attain it?

i'm giving you homework lmao track down your favorite book and try analyzing the author's voice. take some notes on the tone, and if it contrasts the subject matter or genre (is it cynical? is it nostalgic? is it a lighthearted, fairy tale-esque fantasy or a more somber, gothic one?). also pay attention to the word choice. how vivid or descriptive is the prose? does it evoke certain imagery or themes? (in kraken by china mieville, a story about a giant squid that goes missing from a museum and the chaos that follows, he uses a lot of water and squid metaphors.) use the elements of voice listed above as a checklist of things to look for. if there's a certain writer you want to emulate or take inspiration from, studying their work like this could help a lot.

one last thing: since we talked so much about voice, i want to ask why you want to change your style. you can ignore this part if you want lol this is just a pep talk and something i think is good to mention. if you want to focus on differentiating character voices, or trying out a new style for fun, that's awesome! you can and should experiment with style, but remember that your voice as a writer is something unique to you. it's not something that you have to fundamentally change. we can all learn from other writers and hone or refine our style, but i think who we are on a personal level affects our affinity for certain stylistic choices that form our voice.

for example, on a scale of purple to beige, i lean pretty lavender lmao but i'm not ashamed of that! i was influenced a lot by writers who have a (capital R) Romantic flair to their prose, so i like flowery language and descriptions of nature. if it gets too purple and "in the way" of the story, then sure, i might need to trim down certain passages. but my affinity and tendencies aren't something i'm going to get rid of altogether, rather something i'll practice so they're super polished. once you identify your voice, i think you should embrace it and roll with it.

#rotpeach answers #rot on writing #i apologize in advance for the length of this post #but i thought this was a super good question and it really made me think!#disclaimer i have little to no formal education on the subject but i feel pretty confident about what i wrote here lol

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hueningkoi · 5 years ago

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What's your top 10 drawing tips?

Ohhh!!! Yes okay!!! This is gonna be long. Be prepared lol also keep in mind I'm a traditional artist so these may not work for digital artists!

1. Draw as often as you can. Don't over do it though because you'll burn yourself out and then it'll have the opposite effect and you'll not want to draw anymore. But the only way to get better is to put the time in which is hard because most of us want to be good immediately but it doesn't work that way! And trust me if you put the time in you'll one day look at your work and just go WHOA I IMPROVED HOLY SHIT like it'll slap you in the face and it will make you feel so good about the hard work you put in. Basically my first tip is is keep trying, take breaks, be persistent but don't over do it. never quit art though please! always make art. The world needs it!

2. Use reference pictures!!! Don't be afraid of reference pictures! All artists need reference pictures!! Even the most talented artists need reference and its actually pretty fundamental to learning how to draw. That's why art classes make you draw bowls of fruit! To teach you to draw from life! So find stock photos, take pics of friends and yourself and of objects, google image search and USE DAT REFERENCE!!

3. Try limiting your color pallet. Use a color pallet generator and make an artwork only using like 3, 4, or 5 colors. Limiting your color pallet helps you learn to think about the placement of colors and how to choose the right colors for an artwork. It helps you avoid the mistake that lots of people make where you use too many colors and your art looks like a tacky rainbow mismatchy mess!

4. Try doing ballpoint pen art!! Drawing without an eraser forces you to slow down. It forces you to think about the placement of each line so when you go back to pencil you feel much much much more confident and honestly it helps me sketch in pencil much faster and just makes me a more confident drawer overall. Like if I can make something look decent in ballpoint I'm like damn imagine what I can do with an eraser!!

5. It's okay to take tidbits of other people's style and work it into your art style. Don't outright copy someone but if a particular way they draw like say... eyes or something just really vibes with you then try drawing eyes like that! Everyone's art style is inspired by other art styles like my art style is partially inspired by ben 10 and I ain't about to deny it 😂

6. Try shading skin with lavender/purple. it looks fucking rad as hell try it do it like put the skin color down, shade with purple, then go over the purple again with the skin color. Try it and tell me how it goes

7. When doing lineart, if it fits your style, try outlining the silhouette of the character in a thicker line than the rest of the lineart.. it gives the lineart some cool line weight variation and makes the art look polished and more finished

8. Tracing art is okay and really helpful in learning how to draw! Just make sure that you either don't post it to social media or make sure you have explicit permission from the original artist to trace it and that you credit them

9. Try different mediums! Sometimes you think a medium is the one for you but sometimes you're wrong. Lol I thought I was going to be a digital artist for a long time but dude. Digital and I do not mix. I remember when I one day was like shit let's try these prisma colored pencils fuck it! This was after trying digital for like a year and when I worked with those pencils it was like the sun finally shown down on me and Angel's were singing and damn I haven't touched my tablet in like a year 😂 and that doesn't mean I couldn't get good at digital it just means you should work with the medium that makes you happy! I honestly hate digital now lmaooooo so ya! Try painting try pencils try markers hell try digital! Try it all!! Art is so fun omg I'm getting wild Haha

10. Don't let other people's art make you feel bad about yours. Like this one is hard because its difficult to not compare your art to other people's but I just know from experience that it's better to think "wow they're art is great I need to practice drawing like that style more" rather than like "wow their art is great I'll never be that good I should quit" because that artist was where you are once and the only reason they're at the level they are now is because they didn't quit!!! This is like my first tip lol I just get so heartbroken when people stop drawing. Art is so beautiful and everyone should make art always 💖💖

#art #art tips #artists on tumblr #ask #mars art #THANK YOU FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT ART IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY

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zuzuslastbraincell · 5 years ago

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Give me a character and I will answer: Azula

here we go

why I like them

absolute queen and absolute loser at the same time. the intimidating, confident #girlking persona she projects is extremely compelling to watch, the lines she makes e.g. "you were never really a player" are just so cutting, she's clearly having fun trouncing everyone and seeing the gaang struggle against that is a good challenge, she's just good *fun* as a screen presence and just immensely entertaining to watch. she's also just extremely fucking funny. like as much as I felt the writers over-leant into '14 year old girl is the most terrifying creature on the planet' as humour, to the extent that Ursa and Iroh end up saying some very fucked-up lines (which the series compensates for by taking seriously and exploring the consequences for Azula's psyche in S3), I do think the joke *is* genuinely pretty funny. Seeing Azula make grown men, soliders, leading officials, just panic and lose it is *funny* on some level cause she's just a 14 year old kid. Like she's a very good second season villain that ups the stakes.

but like, she's more than who she pretends to be, they give her a lot of depth in s3, you really very much see that at the core of it she's a dsyfunctional 14 year old who has been abused by her father, trapped in a toxic competition with her brother for the crown, and taught that weakness of any kind is utterly unacceptable. The show doesn't ask you to forgive her for who terribly she's treated others but it does present her as worthy of sympathy, as someone complex, made who she was by the conditions of her upbringing.

she's absolutely terrible but she's tremendous fun and you really do feel for her.

why i don't

she was just utterly awful to zuko, ty lee, and mai. she does just manipulate people. she is just unapologetically pro-fire nation and never questions that or has the chance to question it. But arguably these are things, weirdly, that I also like about her because she's just such a compelling example of a deeply flawed character - flaws make characters interesting. (really do wish she'd give zuko a break though.)

favourite episode

I thought about this for a moment but it's the beach. of course it's the beach. the volleyball scene. the petty jealousy. her inability to flirt. 'that's a sharp outfit chan'. the whole campfire scene from 'here we go again' to 'my mother thought i was a monster'. Finally burning chan's house down? Like ugh. Really showed Azula both at her most fun, her funniest, and her most vulnerable at the same time. Really made it clear how she's really lacking social skills from how she's been brought up as a little soldier - like it's made interacting with peers as equals just impossible for her and she really *struggles* outside of the hypercpmpetitive environment that her father brought her up to dominate.

favourite season

don't ask me this. I love s2 hyper-competant azula and s3 disaster azula equally.

favourite line

'Isn't it obvious? I'm about to celebrate becoming an only child!' always fucking cracks me up but it's like HOW dramatic can you be, and the ruthlessness here I think indicates some kind of desperation really. southern raiders azula is a really interesting azula imo (as we have discussed a lot recently)

favourite outfit

oh definitely the earth kingdom outfit in crossroads of destiny. she looks great in green!

OTP

azula/therapy azula/meaningful amends and redemption azula/working through her shit in order to become a better-adjusted adult

but azula/katara is good in an AU where it’s less messy and there’s less intergenerational trauma.

brotp

azula & any kind of genuine parental affection PLEASE can iroh or ursa step up thanks or just ANYONE please adopt this child

but also i am very fond as sokka & azula as pai sho rivals in their early 20s who snipe at each other but eventually over time become almost-friends, and i like toph & azula having chaotic life-changing adventures together

a headcanon

azula is equally as knowledgeable about the theatre as zuko, she just hides her interest. I think artistically she's also quite skilled - though it's downplayed. I can see her being a great singer (in the same way zuko is apparently a good musician) or potentially very good with inks, as it requires a great degree of precision. post-redemption i imagine though she lets her work become more messy, more abstract, less precise. she sings off tune. she joins an amateur players group and lets herself be a hammy actor. she learns to dance and isnt perfect at it first try. I can see the arts as being really fundamental to her recovery quite honestly.

unpopular opinion

honestly don’t think i have any, unless 'an abused 14 year old child soldier is NOT irredeemable' still counts as unpopular. I think opinion has softened towards azula over time though and i think more people nowadays recognise she needs help & can better herself with the right support network.

I suppose what could be counted as unpopular is that, while azula may love zuko 'deep down', the olive branch she offers him in s2/s3 to return home is also a self-interested move that puts the harsh light of scrutiny on him and ensures he'll be blamed if the avatar is rediscovered (see their convo in s3e1), and zuko is well within his rights to reject and want better than azula's 'love' when it is clearly also a self-interested and manipulative ploy. Love isn’t and shouldn't be manipulative and it's tragic that Azula can't open herself enough to build something based on trust and instead has to manipulate the people she cares for in position.

OH wait - actual unpopular opinion 'do the tides command the ship?' never landed as a line for me, the whole time i was just thinking about how ignorant she appeared to be of like, how boats work... how the sea works..., and her confidence just came off as arrogant stupidity. azula you cant argue with the dudes they’ll just wreck your boat dude.

a wish

wrote a post about this which I'll link but azula joining the ember island players is really my favourite recovery arc for her:

read here

oh I would also just azula, as part of her recovery-redemption process, to just go full anarchist on us, i’d really love to see a dramatic political shift in a moment of “fine! i’ll be everything my dad doesn’t want to be!” spiralling that ends up with her genuinely adopting that position.

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen

become the fire lord. azula needs a life outside of politics. she clearly cares for her country on some level and wants to do it right but there are other ways to fulfil that need. imo she needs to give up the crown, because, as with zuko (who travelled as a refugee in the earth kingdom and grew because of it), the elevated sense of superiority she has due to being royal prevents her from extending her sense of compassion, prevents her from seeing the cost that imperialism and monarchy has caused, she needs a new perspective, and that will require stepping away from the crown. like becoming the fire lord would create more distance rather than reduce it and she very much sees becoming the fire lord as a continuity of old practices - in contrast to zuko who breaks from them.

five words to describe her

precise, deadly, hard-working, theatrical, and dearly in need of a hug from her mother

#azula #long post #wrote this on my phone excuse spelling #there's some personal resonance r.e. azula too about being a golden child and sibling rivalry #but id rather not go too deep into that in public tbh

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thechildoflightning · 5 years ago

Text

Vergilius

Title: Vergilius

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: none

~~~

Summary: Vergilius. Vergil. Virgil. Different spellings for the same Roman poet.

For some reason no one talks about the fact that Virgil's name does in fact fit the dark sides naming pattern.

Or: Logan and Virgil have a discuss about the name 'Virgil' and what it means.

Warnings: none

[ao3 link]

~~~

Vergilius

It’s after a meeting with Thomas- who is once again panicking over the simplest of decision making, though to be fair, a large part of that is Virgil’s responsibility as well- when Logan corners him.

Virgil recognizes the situation for what it is right away. Logan gets this shine to his eyes, not quite a twinkle, more of a glimmer. Virgil knows what that look means. Logan is curious and he wants answers and he won’t leave until he gets them.

It's one of Logan’s best traits, his determination and dedication. It’s also one of his worsts.

“Why Virgil?” Logan asks, once he’s fully entered the room and checks that they are alone. (Logan’s not subtle to begin with, and it’s Virgil's job to notice the things others don't, he’s not going to pass over Logan’s sweep of the room for what it is. Logan’s making sure that they are truly alone).

“What?” Virgil replies, “Logan I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’ve literally done nothing.” A brief course of panic. “Wait, why- Logan is something wrong?”

“No, no, no,” Logan confirms, and Virgil relaxes. He lets his muscles and fists untense from where they were coiled and ready to strike as if he had the physical ability to fight every single problem away.

“Not ‘why, comma, Virgil,’” Logan clarifies, “why Virgil.” Or attempts to clarify, because Virgil is now even more lost than before.

“Why the name Virgil?” Logan asks, “Why not change it completely.”

Virgil blinks at Logan. Once. Twice.

“What?” Virgil asks, completely thrown off balance and one word rebuttal coming off slightly harsher than he intended. He trusts Logan- he does- but vulnerability has never been his strong suit and his name- well… but Virgil’s working on it. He is. He’s trying.

(Why does he feel like trying is never good enough).

“I don’t understand why you would keep it. I thought you would have changed it,” Logan remarks, oblivious too or plain ignoring Virgil’s inner turmoil.

Logan’s dismissal of his name stings more than Virgil’s ready to admit, and he realizes he has to do something fast. Because Virgil is his name, of course it is, and he’s not getting rid of it. But Logan- are the other light sides mad at him for keeping his name? Do they think it ties him to the dark sides that much more?

(Virgil’s so tired of being a dark side. So tired of everything he does being marked bad. He’s still having to relearn that he is not fundamentally a bad person after all these years).

“Logan,” Virgil says weakly, not sure how to build his defense on this particular subject, “Logan it’s my name.”

“I know,” Logan agrees, “and I would have thought that you don’t like it. You have already taken small measures to change it. I thought it was strange you stopped at that. Do you not wish to change your name? Am I mistaken?”

“I-” Virgil stutters, trying to gather his thoughts on the matter. Because Logan’s right. Virgil doesn’t like his name, doesn’t like how it rolls off the tongue. Too many syllables, too much weight, too much history.

Virgil is a small change. But it’s so so so much better.

Virgil is Virgil.

“I- I mean- yeah- I don’t like my original name. But Virgil- Virgil is better.”

Logan considers him for a moment, watching Virgil with a steady gaze before giving a slight nod.

“Alright,” he agrees, “as long as it works for you.”

Virgil nods, and thinks that’s it.

But Logan hovers in the rooming, leaning forward slightly. Virgil can practically see his mind racing. It’s obvious he has something to say.

Virgil raises an eyebrow.

“Yes Logan?”

“May I ask two questions?” Logan asks, “the second might be uncomfortable or invasive. You may refuse to answer at any time, even if you give me consent to ask it now.”

Virgil mulls over the words and reminds himself that this is Logan. He would never hurt Virgil intentionally. Unintentionally- sure, but it’s happened in the past. It could certainly happen here.

But Virgil’s willing to take that risk.

He nods.

“I don’t understand why Virgil is acceptable to you,” Logan prefaces, “Virgil is nothing but a shortened version of Vergilius, and both names along with Vergil- spelled with an ‘e’- are all alternate titles for the same historical poet. They seem so completely connected together that I don’t understand how you could find one comforting and the other repulsive.”

Which is fair. Like Logan said, Virgil is one of many spellings, but all the spellings refer to the same name. It’s like when people sometimes spell Kaitlyn with a “c” or a “i” instead of “y”. Alternate spelling, sure, but the same name.

That’s all Virgil has done, switching from Vergelius to plain old Virgil.

“So,” Logan continues, “My question for you is wherein lies that difference? What allows you to be comfortable with Virgil but not Vergilius?”

Virgil has an answer. He’s thought about this for quite some time himself, even if he had never expected anyone to ask him about. But Virgil represents anxiety, and he double, even triple checked his own name, his own reasoning to determine that he was completely satisfied with it.

Now how to explain it in words?

“We all started with names,” Virgil says slowly, “Intentionally or not, Thomas assigned us names that fit us when we were formed. Right?”

“Yes- well not exactly,” Logan responds. Virgil raises his eyebrows at him. “The names Thomas gave us represented how Thomas perceived us when we formed, not necessarily are true authentic selves.”

Virgil gives a small nod of acknowledgement.

“Fair enough,” he allows. “So- Logan, a question for you. Why were you named Logan?”

“Logan. Logos. Logic,” Logan reciters, “the principle of reason and judgement.”

“Right,” Virgil agrees, because his has always been one of the easiest to make sense of. “And I’m Virgil. Again with the Greek and Roman origins. Potentially coming from the term ‘vigil,’ to keep watch. As anxiety that’s my job. Then the connection to the poet- which sure that takes us closer to Roman’s territory but the few times Roman and me have actually gotten along is when we’ve mixed his creativity and the way I feel emotions- specifically surrounding anxiety and fear- to create art.”

“Yes,” Logan agrees.

Virgil nods and considers how to continue. He knows what he wants to say but he has to think about it for a moment and calculate the proper way to present his feelings to Logan. Logan wants facts, knowledge, logic. That isn’t Virgil’s default and it takes him a minute to speak Logan's language.

“Your name fits your role. My name fits mine. It’s not a name I chose, but I feel that it fits me well. It- my name allows me to be more than anxiety. Anxiety has always restricted me, made me be one thing. Virgil gives me the freedom to choose and be myself while still providing comfortable familiarity. I don’t have to limit myself to a simplified emotion. I can just be… Virgil.”

Logan studies him for a moment, eyes sweeping across his body as if searching for a lie.

“Okay,” he eventually says, “I can understand that. But then why not keep Vergilius?”

Virgil gives a weak smile.

“I thought that would have been obvious.”

Logan frowns.

“Your name doesn’t make you a dark side.”

“But it matches the undeniable pattern,” Virgil points out.

Logan hums but doesn’t protest. It’s not like he could. Virgil’s right.

Roman. Patton. Logan.

Remus. Janus. Vergilius.

“It hurts,” Virgil admits finally. And it’s hard to admit but he’s trying to be vulnerable, trying to open up and he’s going to give Logan the benefit of the doubt. (Even so his heart beats louder and his breath grows slightly shorter and his fingers and toes curl tight and tense up). “It hurts to know that somewhere in Thomas’s subconscious, he sees us as good and bad.”

Logan's frown grows deepens.

“That’s an over simplification of the complex roles each of us carry out.”

“I know,” Virgil says. He didn’t once upon a time. He used to truly believe that there was good and bad and that he was bad, that he hurt Thomas no matter what even when he tried his hardest to be good. But those days are mostly behind him. Mostly. He still had some bad days. “I know that Logan. But Thomas hasn’t always seen it that way.”

“Do you think Thomas sees you that way now?”

A few weeks ago Virgil would have said yes- that Thomas only thought he hurt them and would be glad to get rid of Virgil and the pain he brought with him.

Now though…

Thomas told him that he was wanted, that he was needed, that he was loved.

What a strange concept.

“I-“ Virgil hesitates, “I think Thomas is learning to see shades of gray.”

Logan nods.

“And you are of course aware that Thomas was raised religious.”

Virgil snorts.

“No shit Logan, it wasn’t like I was there for all of it or anything.”

“You weren’t?” Logan friend, eyebrows knitting in, “I was certain you had formed by then, am I-“ Logan pauses, clears his throat and adjusts his glasses, “right. Sarcasm.”

Virgil quirks a smile and gives a small nod.

“Got it in one teach.”

Logan straightens his posture, hands coming to rest in front of him and head up. Virgil recognizes it as Logan’s “I’m about to give you a shit ton of info posture.”

“Okay then. Well then you are aware that Thomas was raised with the awareness that things were either good or bad. Thomas was raised with extremes. And as he grew, he eventually started to learn about shades of gray. But as a very young kid it’s hard to see things as nuanced and detailed as they actually are. Add religious teachings that emphasize that good and bad are opposite absolutes and it makes sense that a young Thomas’s brain divided us that way. But that does not mean we still are that way.”

Virgil is- quite honestly Virgil is touched. He’s used to putting up strong walls, ready to fight back against whatever tries to hurt him. He’s still getting used to the idea that people actually want to interact with him and being validated so strongly by Logan almost makes him glow.

“I know,” Virgil says softly, “I know. The world isn’t black.” Vergilius. “Or white.” Something entirely new. “It’s grey.” Virgil. “And I- I’m not exactly sure where I fall now. I’m not- I’m not a dark side, but I don’t think I’m a light side either. I’ve uh- kinda created my own little space.”

Logan looks at Virgil with his piercing gaze.

“Ah. I understand now. Thank you Virgil.”

And for some reason, Virgil thinks Logan really understands it. His name, and so much more.

(There’s so much more than light or dark).

“Yeah sure. Anytime.”

Logan gives him a final nod and turns to exit, leaving Virgil to his thoughts.

Just before Logan passes out through the doorway, he turns around.

“Virgil?”

“Yes.”

“You have a nice name. It is- admirable that you chose to keep parts of it and alter the rest to best define you.”

Warmth. warmth everyone, sleeping across his body and into his heart, through his entire being.

“Thank you,” he manages.

And then Logan is gone.

If this is what being accepted is like- well, he might want to get used to it.

~~~

Taglist Below

-message me to be added or removed-

@mewithanie @eddies-spaghetti @lemonyellowlogic @savioursailor @goldteethandacurseforthistown @gattonero17

#ts virgil #ts logan #platonic analogical #sanders sides #ts sides #character study #fanfiction #fan fiction #mywriting #ao3 #colupdate

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fandom-collective-writers · 5 years ago

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Reader x Jihyun Kim {MysMes} - Letters to Heal a Broken Heart

Title: Letters to Heal a Broken Heart Fandom: Mystic Messenger Character: Jihyun Kim Genre: bittersweet? romance Warnings: spoilers for his good ending! Intended Gender Audience: Neutral Audience Word Count: 2040 words POV: second person Other comments: no smut but im proud of this! please note that everything with the push back is a letter! i think its pretty clear, but i wanted to make sure it’s understood <3 Written by: @mythiica Req:

Dear –

I’ll admit, it feels a bit strange writing a letter for you, but my therapist recommended it. He told me to explain my emotions with words, saying it would help me become more confident.

See, the reasoning behind it, at least from what I remember, is that there is no pressure to think quickly. Writing allows a flow, a sense of movement between the words before you pick which one you wish to use. Talking is different because it follows a completely contrasting rhythm. To keep a conversation going, you have to speak rather quickly so the person stays engaged in the topic.

It’s all really interesting, and my therapist has given me a book over the fundamentals of other practices like this. I read half of it on the plane to Japan.

To clarify, I’m writing this from my hotel room in Tokyo. I landed a few hours ago and the jet lag has yet to hit me, so I decided to take advantage of this time to write.

I think you’d like it here – the sakura are in full bloom and I have three days dedicated to photographing the sea of pinks as they ripple in the wind. Until now, I’ve only seen pictures of the famous parks, and I never thought that I would be able to witness them in person.

I didn’t think I’d

I never conside

Ah, I should mention, I’m not allowed to erase or cross out sentences I start. Another confidence booster? It’s a bit sillier, but it’s meant to force me to say what is on my mind, rather than letting it fester. I’ll try again:

During my years under Mint Eye, my vision was narrowed, and I had only one duty. However, I am learning to broaden my horizons and expand my mind to encompass everything. The urge to explore bubbles in my chest, waiting for the moment to come out. There are so many chances to do anything, and I’ve got all the time to do all of it.

I’ve also realized that I went over my word limit. I have to stick to 300 words or under. Confidence booster #3! Express yourself with less words. Take a guess of how many times I’ve opened the thesaurus, looking for better synonyms for words? At least seven times in the past five minutes. It’s crazy!

For now, I’ll sign this off and try better next time.

よりご多幸を祈って

Jihyun Kim

PS, I’m practicing my Japanese! That says best wishes… I think.

नमस्कार

Hello and greetings from India! I took a long nap on the plane, and forgot to write. Although I’m only passing through, I ate some delicious food (that I should really try to replicate for you). India is absolutely beautiful – from the sunrises to the bustling markets to the colorful fabrics hung at every corner. I’ll inhale the air and smell six things at once, albeit, not all of them are the best, but I embrace it nonetheless.

More about what I’ve been doing: funnily enough, my phone died on the bus ride, but I made a new friend named Sunmi, and she was kind enough to lend me her charging cable. Instead of ending the interaction there, we spoke for a few hours at least. I learned she was traveling with her friends on a photography excursion. She gave me all the information, and I’d like to look into it when I have wifi again.

You wouldn’t believe what they’ve seen! Last year they went to Antarctica through South America. She got to pet a penguin! Apparently the company also takes people to Greenland and New Zealand – some places I’ve been dreaming of visiting since I was a young boy.

I’ll use my last 100 words to mention that… I’ve gotten a bit homesick. I miss the RFA – well, the people from the RFA minus…

Don’t tell Jumin about the company though, he’ll insist on flying me around with his private jet. I want to experience for myself. Saeyoung is somehow messaging me when I don’t have service? I don’t… understand. Anyways, I also saw Zen landed a huge international role (someone had a magazine on the plane). Otherwise, I hope Jaehee and Yoosung are well. And Elizabeth the 3rd of course. Send them my wishes.

I didn’t forget about you though! The keychain you gave me reminds me of home every day. It might have lost an eye, but I found a button and stitched it on. And I also wanted to ask you–

Ah, I’m over again.

Next time.

Jihyun Kim

Iyi günler! I am in Turkey now and actually writing this on a boat. The sun is setting over the horizon, making the sky change colors with every passing minute. It’s breathtaking, but I wish you were here with me. The other passengers and I take turns standing at the front of the boat, and I sometimes linger, trying to take pictures.

Good news! My vision is getting better. I’ve been taking some Greek herbal remedies, and the seem to be helping. Either that, or they have a wonderful placebo effect. Has that ever happened to you? To think something is working, but you’re just imagining things?

I apologize, maybe that stirred bad memories for you.

Back to Turkey: I stepped out of my comfort zone and spent a night camping. Honestly? I was terrified of doing so, but now I want to do it every night. It is the perfect temperature for hiking, even though I am a bit sunburned.

So many people have been commenting on my hair. Good things mostly, and I started styling it with a bit of gel to keep it out of my eyes. It feels good to look people directly rather than through a curtain.

What are you up to? Hosting anymore parties? I imagine that you are keeping busy, as always of course. My therapist said it would be best to wait messaging you until I return home. I nearly called you a week ago, but I didn’t want to break my vow. It’s like lying to myself, and I know better than that now.

Still, it doesn’t stop me from dreaming.

Sending love,

I’m genuinely angry, but writing to you always calms me. Someone stole my bag – I luckily didn’t have much in it, but your keychain… can you make me a new one please? Now that I don’t have it, it’s almost like I’ve lost a part of you. It hurts a lot, but then I wonder if I am being silly. It’s just a keychain.

Otherwise, France is nice. I didn’t want to go to Paris, so instead I traveled through the countryside to visit a few wineries.

Yes, I did… drink a bit, but I wasn’t impaired when my bag was stolen!

You would laugh at me if I told you what happened, so I will save the story for another time. Before coming to France, I went through Germany and visited some of the most beautiful castles I’ve ever seen. They all looked like they could be straight from a fantasy movie set, and I was convinced one – Neuschwanstein Castle – actually was.

I’ve barely written anything despite so much happening.

I got a haircut (finally), because it was becoming a hassle to tie it back at night.

One evening, I fed some stray cats and they followed me home.

And a drunk (?) tried to play cards with me. But he didn’t have cards. He was dealing an imaginary deck.

Other stories will have to wait until I see you again, and I feel better now. It’s okay to be upset, but it won’t hinder my trip any more.

Je t'aime,

Jihyun

Alaska doesn’t have a night.

That’s not exactly true, but it’s basically true. The hotel has special curtains that block the light, and it is only dark for a few hours.

It has been many miles since I last wrote, but I was caught up in visiting show after event after party after exhibit through America. Their art has given me a new perspective on point of view and emotions, so I hope that the ten camera chips I’ve filled with photographs will be able to convey the same sense of awe.

I’ve also been mistaken for an idol? Like – multiple times. Interesting to say the least, maybe I’ll say yes to the next person that asks. What should my stage name be? I’ll spare you the embarrassment and not share my ideas. They are all very silly and no one would believe me if I told them my name was Cam Ra. Do you get it? It’s bad, I know.

I’ll be returning home soon, unless I get distracted or impulsive and go down to California and Hawaii before coming back. I want to – it doesn’t feel right to return just yet. But that doesn’t mean anything about you!

Really, I think about you and everyone else each day.

Have you met new people? We’ll exchange so many stories…

See you soon,

J K

You pace around, waiting for the last guest on the list to appear. The party started an hour ago, but he still has not arrived. Then again, it has been three months since anyone heard a whisper from V, and you start to lose hope. Swallowing hard, you remind yourself that V is having a wonderful time exploring the world and finding himself.

Taking a handful of your dress, you turn and head through the doors to the main room. Jumin tries to pull Saeyoung away from Longcat, Yoosung explains his most recent surgeries to a group of nurses from his work place, and Jaehee receives many compliments for her majestic cake.

Everyone is happy and has moved on.

You hope V has too.

Maybe all the wishing and praying finally paid off, because you hear his familiar voice calling out behind you. It’s a long shot, but you turn around nonetheless, thinking it is a different guest.

Instead, you see Jihyun, wearing the most dazzling smile you’ve ever seen, running towards you. He’s carrying a folder filled with papers, but that doesn’t stop him from embracing you. He smells rugged, like his voyage has transformed him, but you rather like it.

“Jihyun!” You melt against his hug. “You’re.. Here… you’re here!”

Your squealing draws everyone’s attention, but he focuses on you and only you. “Of course I’m here. I missed you more than I can verbalize.”

His stance is open, welcoming, and confident, much different from two years ago. He is a different person now, brave and proud. Jihyun offers you the folder. It is strange to gift something in the middle of a party, but you accept it anyways, happy he has returned.

Jihyun’s heart races as he explains. “I wrote you letters every time I went somewhere new. These are just a few of them, really I have so many. But each shows something I’ve learned.” He takes a breath and laces his fingers with yours. “This is sudden, and I’m sure you will need time to think about it, but I’m trying something new: asking without being afraid. Over the past two years, I’ve… longed for you. Art has shown me the power of friendship, joy, perseverance, and most importantly, dedication. I want to dedicate my art to you, if you’ll stand by my side.”

You can’t find the words to express yourself because you are so awestruck. He truly has changed, but he has embraced himself and his life. Tears start to roll down your cheeks from the overwhelming surge of emotions. Jihyun brushes them away and presses his forehead to yours.

“I still have much to learn, but I want to do it all with you.”

“I’d like that a lot, Jihyun,” you whisper, captivated by his intense gaze.

“And I can finally say this without fear–”

You tip your head up, and Jihyun kisses you the next moment. His lips are chapped and the warmth radiating from his skin envelops you. He doesn’t need words to communicate it, because you understand perfectly what he is trying to say.

#mysmes #mystic messenger #mysmes v #mysmes jihyun #jihyun kim

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