#so I'm very happy with my model :3
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starpros-sunshine · 10 months ago
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woag ur birthday is the day after mine????????? happy birthday seb !!!!!!!!! i hope u had an amazing day :3
thank you thank you <33 yess it's the 20th nodnod I think because of timezone shenanigans for like six hours or so we're kind of birthday twins lol
#I got a delorian model i love my delorian model you know it's a genuine collectors item because my father got it from ebay#and it still has the original package#genuinely deloreon is such a fun word to misspell#deloron. the dilorian. my dmc-drölf#I've been talkinh about how cool that car is so much i think if it wasn't for the fact we don't have a garage my father would actually be#on board with the idea of someday buying one of those#it's like the cringe fail loser of cars because it's really by all means not the best car#it has less power than it looks like it should have its pretty flat the motor is in the back and the place for storing stuff is in the front#the doors are the coolest thing about it but I LOVE back to the future my favourite trilohy of films#ever since that fateful cinema film marathon in march which I went to on a whim#i had to fight myself up that hill with my bike because our car battery was empty#i missed the first ten minutes of the movie#and the first major issue to be solved is that the car battery is empty and he's stuck in the 50s#and marty is so sweet he's just like me if I wasn't a massive asshole#also absolutely never punctual#there's this poszer#''he was never in time for his classes... he wasn't in time for dinner...and then one day he wasn't in his time at all'' story of my life#so I'm very enamoured with the car of course I got to see some live during summer through sheer coincidence and they really are that cool#so I'm very happy with my model :3#Vanyan🐈
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cluemily · 2 months ago
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From Cleo's stream today (6/6/2025). I'm sure some people would like to hear this this pride month. <3
(Note: I cut some brief moments where Cleo read out some subs/donations, or slightly long pauses. But this is pretty much the entire clip.)
[Transcription:
Cleo: Do you know what I've not talked about for a while? I don't think- I think I got sick literally at the beginning of Pride Month. I think I did. Like, genuinely. So I think I have not pride, I have not said glory to you and your identity at all this month yet! So- like-
[CleoOWO redeem triggers, Cleo laughs]
Cleo [in high-pitched CleOWO voice]: Okay, sure, we can do it like this. I'll put in the hearts as well. [Cleo triggers the blush and hearts on their Vtuber model] Pride! Well, congratulations, I appreciate everybody here. And this is a safe, welcoming community. Doesn't matter if you're gay, or straight, or lesbian, or something else. Or, like, bisexual like me, or pansexual, or asexual, or trans, or I'm- I'm coming up- I'm not doing well with the whole list of things. You are welcome if you're not a bigot! Not for bigots!
So uh trans rights, gay rights- uh, hm- having a think. Uhm- I mean I like you as long as you... rights, woo! We appreciate pride month in all its forms. Hashtag not for bigots. If anybody in this chat has decided that they do not approve of the LGBTQ- alphabet mafia- get out! Uhm- yeah! Yay! [Cleo claps]
[responding to chat member] Aw, you're here strawberry, we're good! You and me, we're good!
[talking to entire chat again] I hope that you have a happy pride month and a happy rest of the year. And I know things- uhm- around the world are a bit tough and problematic and... uhm- we need to lock in. And I know that's hard. But you guys take care of yourselves and each other. Very important, okay? Take care of the community, make sure that if someone's fighting they're not fighting alone.
[CleOWO redeem ends, Cleo talks normally again.]
Yeah, I think that's a thing that I want to say to everyone. Like- the reason why we fight is because we have to. It would be nice not to have to fight but make sure we don't fight alone. Okay? Uhm-
[reading chat message] I'm glad we got to experience this during a CleOWO- Valid.
[reading another chat message] This is simultaneously the most heartwarming and terrifying experience in my life. Uhm, I think I embody that, that's valid.
[Cleo addresses the full chat again] All I'm saying is that there has been some backsliding in the world and you need to make sure that you do not let it go. But, also, people are more accepting now than ever. It is literally a small- like- there are people who are very pro-LGBT. Plus.
Uhm- most of the universe is just sort of like 'what, I don't care. You do you, I support you you do you it's fine'. And then you have the outright bigots. The outright bigot fraction is getting smaller and louder, okay? It is happening, they are smaller and louder than they've ever been. But still take care of yourselves.
[responding to chat] Yeah they're scared. They realise they're in their last throes of bigotry- I think- In most of the world's places. They're trying to make you more scared to be yourself, and I'm saying protect yourselves first. Make sure you are safe and that is the key thing. If you are not safe, I'm sorry just- just stay closeted until you can be safe. Because there's no poiint coming out and somebody hurting you. Get to safety first, okay? And then- and then fight. You can fight after you're safe, okay? And there is a whole community out there rooting for you.
End Transcript]
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vitoriadior · 7 days ago
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BUT MOMMY I LOVE HIM!
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Clark Kent x Model!Reader
(Synopsis) Where your mom's opinion is the most important to you, but she thinks Clark is just another guy dating you to get a leg up on you—Clark does his best to convince her he's not.
Request <3. Masterlist— Model!Reader series. REQUESTS OPEN
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Clark knows your mom— Everyone knows your mom. It's not like she was the most iconic sex symbol of her generation of actresses. Your mother had a ton of famous boyfriends who fueled her reputation as the most desirable woman in her youth.
Clark liked your dad despite everything— A rockstar, a funny combination of a middle-aged punk and a hippie neighbor with lots of plants. Your father even played guitar just to impress Clark when you two had dinner with him. "Want to know what real punk rock is, kid?" Clark left that house, unable to believe this man was the same one who had left your mother in a "terrible depression."
However, your mother is way different from your father. Clark is afraid of her. Imagine that, she's so intimidating that she makes Superman feel small.
But you said she was important to you— And Clark would do anything for you. He knows that your mom's opinion has always been one of your priorities, and that she is literally your world. To your mother, you have always been her greatest treasure; from the day you were born until today, she has done everything in her power to make you happy. And anyone who hurts you in the slightest or most insignificant way will regret it.
So that's why you and Clark are in Montecito, California. Your private driver is taking you to your mother's propiety in—of course, the uptown part of the entire city. Clark has his eyes glued to the window, his hands feeling sweatier than ever.
"What did Wikipedia tell you about my mom that you're so scared of?" You smile, leaning between the seats to bump your shoulder against his. Clark hadn't just visited Wikipedia before coming here. He'd spent all night watching a YouTube compilation of 90s interviews that featured your mother.
"I'm insulted that you think Wikipedia is my most reliable source." Clark manages a smile before licking his lips and reaching for your hand almost instantly.
He'd mentally jotted down a few things about her for just this occasion:
1. Your mother is the most passive-aggressive woman on earth. She can't stand being laughed at or disrespected.
2. You are the best thing that's ever happened to her, in her own words.
And three, and perhaps most concerning: 3. She's a god-level misandrist. Like, no one jokes when they say this woman hates men.
"What did you tell her about me?" You shrug, remembering the last time you visited your mother and told her about Clark—well, maybe she didn't have the best reaction. But it's completely justified.
Your mom knows you. She's seen you cry and laugh for love your entire life. In special see you suffer through a string of boyfriends who only took advantage of you, who used you for fame or money. There's nothing your mother hates more than seeing you in feeling bad, so when you tell her Clark is a journalist, she doesn't have the best reaction to say at least
"Sweetheart, a journalist? Really, a journalist?" Your mother had snorted, shaking her head. "Sweetie, journalist are always the worst. They end up cheating on you for a promotion in exchange for an article badmouthing you."
But you still took Clark to California. Because you truly love him—and you want your mother to love him back because if she doesn't, you genuinely don't know what You're going to do. But you have faith that Clark can convince her, so you're a million times more relaxed than he is.
The housekeeper at your mother's mansion, Carmen, greets you with a warm smile. You hug the woman who was practically your nanny your entire childhood, as she says she's very happy to see you. Clark is politely introducing himself to the lady before his super-hearing alerts him that one—two—three dogs are running toward the stairs on the mansion's second floor. Before he can react, a bunch of barking makes him jump a little.
Another little tidbit he saw in that video about 50 random facts about the most iconic sex symbol of the 90s: your mother loves dogs. Not small, adorable dogs, but rather dogs that look like they could rip the skin off your face when they're mad.
"Fire this gentleman from my property, Carmen." Clark spots your mother standing at the top of the stairs: foxy eyes, big lips, and long hair adorned with a few gray strands. "He's a mediocre journalist looking for an exclusive."
"Mom, Clark doesn't—" you try to speak. But the dogs interrupt you with barks and growls at the man next to you. You feel so bad for Clark that you silently pray to heaven that your boyfriend doesn't hate you right now.
"I know what I'm saying, honey." Clark, on the other hand, stares at your mother, saying nothing, as if the words are stuck in his throat, threatening to spill out like verbal vomit. The kind of bad verbal vomit that makes you regret it later. "Men of his kind are the most disgusting trash on earth."
You run a nervous hand over your cheek. If only your mom would give Clark a chance! She would see that he's not like the others, that he loves you the way you love him, or even more. You swallow hard, preparing to try to persuade your mother, but Clark's voice rings out before yours.
"I'm not here looking for an exclusive, ma'am" Clark's face is that of a serious man, ready for anything. That expression of the strongest man in the world, capable of knocking down walls of brick or steel. "I came because I know your opinion is important to your daughter. I came because I'm capable of anything—anything, as long as she's happy."
Your mom murmurs a "That's what all men says," before Clark raises his voice, surprising you, Carmen, and no one else but your mother. "I can assure you that I'm nothing like the others. And if necessary, I'm willing to do anything. The truth is If I told you I deserve your daughter, it would be a lie."
"What are you doing here then? You say you don't deserve her, but you're here so—arrogant" It's like your mom is reflecting all her hatred for the male population on your poor boyfriend. " All my life I've dealt with people like you."
"Because I don't believe anyone in this world deserves her," your mother raises an eyebrow and with a single gesture makes the dogs stop growling. "But every day I try to be a better man, to get at least a little closer to what she deserves. So if you want to kick me out of your house—do it."
"But know that I won't stop trying and trying until you approve of me."
"That's so corny," she rolls her eyes. "I don't want words, kid. I want facts. Be a fucking man."
Carmen and you share a look that says the same thing: he raised his voice at your mother. And yet, he had been respectful. The last time a journalist raised their voice at your mother, there was an archive online of the lawsuit your mother filed against him and a video online of her slapping him.
But to yours and Carmen's surprise, your mother just turns and walks away. The dogs follow behind her.
Clark feels like his legs aren't working. He wobbles a little. But between you and Carmen, you manage to hold him up. Carmen lets out a small laugh and puts a hand on Clark's arm. "That means you both can stay for dinner, dear"
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Taglist: @starincarnated @angelicp0etry @yeonalie @lator-gators @starssfall @moomumu @chamorunsmiles @urlittleangelbaby @americanboz0 @mysticdinosaurpirate @spiidergwenn @sugarbutterbailey @pestoluvr8 @ilovemangoes444 @kaiparkerwife @qardasngan @animegamerfox @helloimamistake @rinapomu @chaoticroaddreamerpasta @ryomku @dreamlesssleepsaga @yzuposts @mickey-mouse-crackhouse1902 @j07lvrg @khxna @1wannab3inaband @wintersoldierenthusiastt @yyiikes @rosie-hao @psiiconic @httpstoyosi @lettucel0ver @scorpio-echo @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @aratakiittooo @angelicprincess12 @pinkluv29
@shine101 @karimestarksworld @lortheswiftie @bangtanevermore @njdluvr @justamina-blog @avroravia @m3lod7 @just-pure-trash @pprettyvisitorr @againanothersideblog @differentcandycreation @hagarsays
Here to ad u!
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nijuukoo · 2 months ago
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It feels surreal to see this out there, in the wild, and being played by real people. It feels like a dream--a crazy fever dream that's been going on for years and now Date Everything! is officially live on all platforms, and I am so immensely proud of everyone involved in this game ♥
This is Sassy Chap Games' first project, and I could not be more humbled to be a part of it. Everyone poured their soul, their excitement and humour into this. This isn't just a dating sim; it's one giant love letter to creative passion, to artistry, and to self-expression. It's a celebration of artists and creators of all forms and backgrounds, from programmers to writers, from artists to cosplayers, and from musicians to voice actors.
Long thank you ahead, as well as character spoilers if you wanna go in blind!!
I wanna give a huge, immense thank you to my art team: Tay, Pejnt, Renoni, Elle, Debz, Palea, Cael, Helly, Nick, Mel and Shenae. This game is jam packed with so much beautiful hand-drawn artwork, and I'm so lucky to have worked with such incredible artists to complete all those gigantic spreadsheets of assets TuT Thank you all for all your hard work. I love that I can recognise who did what based on the styles, and I’m so happy that people will see your uniqueness in this project.
A big shout out to Jay, our 3D modeler, and Clara, our animator, who are so incredibly skilled at what they do. The house is beautiful, as is the world outside, and you both did such a wonderful job giving all the Dateables a roof to live in, and a cosy world for the players to roam. For a game that takes place in one location, you’ve made it feel like a whole world.
The characters would not be complete without the creative minds of the writing/narrative team. William Hinz, Jay Choi, Souha, Logan Burdick, Brendan Blaber, Dom Dinh, Devin Connelly, TJ Young, Nick Thurston, Sam Ortiz, Julia McIlvaine, Ray, Robbie, Amanda--oh god i know im missing a handful Q_Q but damn, the amount of work and creativity needed to create so many branching stories, endings, and weaving together relationships amongst various characters--that's such a feat that I was lucky enough to see develop behind the scenes <3 I can't wait to play the game myself to find out how the stories have changed and ended up--it's a very funny feeling to be involved in the game so intimately and yet i still only know about 10% of the characters’ full stories, and I know i'm going to be surprised when I play through this myself XD.
Thank you to our composer and maestro, Garrett Williamson, and his team of music masters--the OST is absolutely incredible, so unique, and mind-blowing to know that all our dateables have their own theme that's beautifully reflective of their personalities, theme and stories even without needing to see them. You are insane at what you do, and i know you and i can volley compliments back and forth until the end of time, but I get the last word on this blog: you are an absolute beast at music, sir, and I can't wait for the rest of the world to know your big music brain.
All of these amazing assets would just remain a big ol’ pile of assets if it weren’t for the incredible dedication, time, and energy of our programming team headed by Thiago Moreira. You and Sam Reinhart are so crucial to making this happen, for piecing things together, for making things move and animate, and for fixing all the bugs as they arise. Oh my god, all the bugs. You guys are some of the chillest people I’ve ever met, and y’all been such a rock for everyone when things go awry.
A shout out to Greg Batha and “MsMinotaur” Adriel. This game literally would not have gotten off the ground without you two at the very beginning. Y’all the OG team, and I am so happy I got to meet the two people who built the launch pad that started this whole thing.
To the producers, and the brains behind this crazy game--Ray Chase, Robbie Daymond, Max Mittelman, and Amanda Hufford--You guys are absolute legends. Thank you for so many years of pitching the game, and keeping the idea alive through the blurry years that was 2019-2022. It's crazy to think how I first knew y'all as game characters from FFXV almost ten years ago, and now you guys are game producers. Amanda, you are such a fun energy to be around, and it was so incredible working with you on your characters (Thank you again for the big brain behind Eddie and Volt--I will never get over them.) Thank you for your voices, your writing, the long hours, the organisation, and for keeping everything so exciting! Y'all form the absolute bedrock of this thing. Thank you for believing in the team, and weathering through the obstacles to keep this party going. this would not have come to fruition without you guys at our backs.
I love all of you, and i know this is just the beginning ❤️
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yeahxsurexokay13 · 2 months ago
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not a lot going on at the moment, lando norris
previous
summary: there's not a lot going on after the dutch gp (mostly behind the scenes, but the fans are starting to catch on).
warnings: swearing and a few negative comments. also, i don't think the dates for august make much sense but they were mainly to show the passing of time.
a/n: second to last part ): hope you guys are still enjoying the story!!! as always, would love to know what you think <3
y/n.y/l ✓ 📍​ Circuit Zandvoort
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Liked by jasmineharper, pietra.pilao and 801.001 others
y/n.y/l weekend well spent 🏎️❤️ thank you @/f1academy & @/charlottetilbury for having me!!!! xx
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f1academy ✓ Loved having you with us! Your support means the world 🤩 ♥︎ by author
user10 okay but I missed her outfits in the paddock sm 😭
user1 girl just say you're the lucky charm and go
user2 I NEED LINKS TO EVERY SINGLE THING YOU WORE THIS WEEKEND. LIKE NOW.
y/n.y/l ✓ 🫡🫡 on it
user 3 let's go girlsssss!!! 🏎️🩷
user11 not to be that person but… do we think they talked??
iamrebeccad ✓ Gorgeous girl ❤️ ♥︎ by author
user4 come back every weekend pls xx
user13 he won DESPITE the distraction, not because of it. let's be real.
friend soooo when are we raiding your glam bag?
y/n.y/l ✓ 🙄 as soon as you come over I'm guessing
abbipulling ✓ Loved meeting you! ❤️​
y/n.y/l ✓ right back at you 😊 xx
user5 so lando wins the second she shows up after a month? yeah. there's something in the air.
user6 yn supporting f1 academy>>>
user12 it's giving attention seeking, not support. oops 🫢
user7 don't care what happened i'm just glad she's back
francisca.cgomes ✓ 😍 ♥︎ by author
user8 lando liked....... again... (we are so back!) (i hope)
user9 I thought we were done with the PR stunts?
29 July 2024
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jasmineharper ✓ 📍Kapama River Lodge Reserve
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Liked by francolapinto, lissiemackintosh and 308.299 others
jasmineharper out of office (emotionally and geographically) 🦓☀️⛺️🌿
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user1 girl you are GLOWING in these ✨🤩
jasmineharper ✓ thank you lovely 🥰
user2 girlbossing your way through SA I see 🫡 ♥︎ by author
y/n.y/l ✓ come back home the kids miss you (I’m the kids)
jasmineharper ✓ judging by how long it’s taking you to answer my texts, i think the kids are very entertained rn
user3 be fr jaz what do you know 😭
user8 HELLOOOO WHAT DOES JAZ MEAN BY THAT 👀
user9 she's keeping busy… WITH WHO JAZ DROP THE NAME i can’t keep living like this
user10 is it hot in here or is it just the passive aggression
user4 You are STUNNING 😍 that last pic omg
user5 enjoy summer break!!! see you again in (exactly) 22 days😌😌😌
user6 gorgeous!!!😮‍💨
user7 u deserve this break and ten more just like it 😤😤 ♥︎ by author
3 August 2024
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y/n.y/l ✓
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Liked by maxfewtrell, haileybieber and 840.021 others
y/n.y/l bits and bops from august so far 🌞
👤 ethan.y/l, jasmineharper, friend1, friend2
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user14 ollie content clears my skin ♥︎ by author
user1 ethan in his chef era?? hello??? while looking like a runway model too 🫦​🫦​
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ Miss you already❤️❤️❤️
user2 HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO OUR QUEEN JAZ 💌 ♥︎ by author
user3 y'all do not let that extremely cute ollie pic distract u from the soft launch on the last slide
user12 ethan cooking… did we survive the outcome?
y/n.y/l ✓ barely🙃
user4 august looks like it's treating you well!! love this dump 💖 ♥︎ by author
ethan.y/l I better get royalties for slide 5
y/n.y/l ✓ your payment is me not posting the video of you setting off the smoke alarm 👍🏼
user5 jaz with the birthday muffin 😭 queen didn't even get a cake
y/n.y/l ✓ less cleanup
user11 tell the leg at the beach I said hi
user6 ran here as soon as i got the notif you posted!! love the vibes!
user13 girl we are NOT fooled
user7 can we talk about ollie's little face in pic 3🥹🥹 give him a treat from me pls ♥︎ by author
user8 I will never know peace until I know who that leg belongs to
user9 it's probably just ethan lol you guys really do overanalyse every single little thing 😂
user10 we're not overanalysing if we're RIGHT
15 August 2024
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next part
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
taglist: @sarx164 @willowpains @n3versatisfied @verogonewild @addzlibs @knivesdoingcartwheels @sky--wzlker @sheslikeacurse @sashisuslover @midnightbabylon @sunflowervol18 @itsselllaaa  @chezmardybum @quinquinquincy @seonaw @imagine-it-was-us @freyathehuntress @pandora108 @stylesmoonlight12 @azuramicah @emneedshelp @lorena-mv33
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hurtspideyparker · 7 months ago
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Happy Hogan and his Nemesis (a Teenager with ADHD)
Peter Parker is a very unorganized SI intern who inadvertently and constantly terrorizes Happy Hogan, the head of security.
Peter regularly forgets his badge and sets off alarms, and then goes "you know me, I'm here all the time!" to any and everyone who stops him
Peter who steals very expensive and weaponizable tech because "I thought I could work on it a bit at home?"
Peter who accidentally wanders to restricted areas because "well I'm always curious what others are working on, I'm here to learn" ("how did you even get in, there are three locked doors between here and the elevator?!" "well first I saw my janitor friend and she opened the door for me to chat, the second one was propped open, and the third time I just walked in after this random guy. If he called security on me then he's really telling on himself...")
Happy who is always trying to get this random intern fired for his irresponsibility, terrible time management, spying, and dangerous lack of safety protocol, and yet he still comes in everyday to Happy's (and HR's) disgruntled amazement
Peter: Happy! Happy! Tell these guys to let me through!
Happy: Only my friends call me that, 16 year old interns do not.
Peter: Sorry, sorry. Mr. Hogan, please tell these guys I work here. I just misplaced my badge again
Happy: Peter you need that badge, what if you were fired? I can't be letting just anyone into the building
Peter: I so was not fired, ask FRIDAY
FRIDAY: Confirmed sir, Peter Parker is still employed with Stark Industries
Happy: God I know it's true but I don't know HOW
Happy becomes convinced the boy is part of a corporate espionage scheme and someone is hacking their system to delete all the complaints against him. He starts to stalk Peter to watch out for any nefarious activity, like poisoning the scientists' coffee orders
This (one-sided) feud comes to an end when Happy learns that this is not one of hundreds of interns within the company, but Tony Stark's personal intern. Tony loves this kid and waves off any and all HR complaints. To Happy's chagrin Peter is, in fact, an irreplaceable genius, and not a complete moron who only got the internship through nepotism
Happy: What the hell is he doing here, he's gonna get you killed! Either he's a spy or he's an idiot. Actually he's probably both, because I catch him doing shady stuff all the time
Tony: Who, Peter? He works for me directly. I hired the kid on his emails alone, but then I saw his work. That medical imaging model that's 30% cheaper for hospitals to run? He did that his first week here
Happy: But...but...
Peter: Happy do you think you could make the badges pink? I don't think I'd lose it if it was pink, the white is so boring. Also I need a new one, I stepped on mine again :(
Happy: 20 years I've worked for you, you finally start to retire, then hire someone just as chaotic but 3 times younger. Tony Stark Jr... This job is going to kill me.
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ssa-dado · 6 months ago
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24 - Logos
Aaron Hotchner x fem!bau!reader Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, SMUT Summary: A few weeks ago, Aaron had read a passage from Plato's Symposium - "And when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself... the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other's sight, even for a moment." He hadn’t fully understood it. Not until he found himself sitting on your couch at 3 a.m. Warnings: + 18 MINORS DNI (I will ground you) alcohol consumption, some cuss words here and there, VERY GRAPHIC AND DESCRIPTIVE SEX because I'm a weirdo, it's basically porn with philosophy (not in the middle of it - of course - I'm not that weird), dirty talk, unprotected sex, piv, oral sex and a lot of pining. Hotch is a whore. Word Count: 18.9k Dado's Corner: I don’t know, I’m both proud and deeply insecure about posting this. It’s my first time writing smut. Ever. I have no idea if it’s good. No idea if it’s too much or too little - if I over-explained things or if I didn’t explain enough. It’s their first time actually sober, and they’re supposed to be a little cringe - uncertain, hesitant, not entirely sure what to do with each other or where they fit and that’s deliberate. I wanted it to feel real - flawed, messy, something that isn’t just perfect and seamless, but human. There’s good and bad, there’s laughter and uncertainty, there are tears of joy and tears of fear. And I just hope it feels like something.
masterlist ; mandatory first part because if you skip this, you'll be utterly lost and it's not my fault
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In Stoic philosophy, logos represents the rational principle that governs the universe, uniting logic, physics, and ethics into a cohesive worldview. It is the divine reason permeating all existence, structuring nature according to order and necessity.
In Stoic logic, logos manifests as the foundation of rational thought, guiding human reasoning toward clarity and truth. Mastery of logic enables individuals to distinguish between valid judgments and deceptive impressions, ensuring alignment with reality.
In physics, logos is the active, organizing force (pneuma) that sustains and directs the cosmos. Everything unfolds according to its rational design, making the universe an interconnected, purposeful whole rather than a realm of randomness.
In ethics, living in accordance with logos means harmonizing one’s will with nature’s rational order. By cultivating wisdom, self-discipline, and virtue, individuals align their actions with universal reason, achieving tranquility and moral integrity in a world shaped by necessity and change.
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Happiness is a complex concept - or at least, it became one once thinkers like Aristotle started overanalyzing it.
He distinguished between fleeting pleasure (hedonia) and deeper fulfillment (eudaimonia), and ever since, that debate has been stitched into the fabric of western culture.
Now, most people unknowingly follow this hierarchical model of happiness, never realizing it originated from a handful of bored, existentially troubled men desperately trying to intellectualize their own misery.
Maybe that’s why it’s considered completely normal to ask if someone is really happy - because centuries of philosophy decided that happiness alone isn’t enough – it had to be the right kind of happiness.
And yet, even you weren’t immune to that trap. Because standing there, dancing with Aaron, you admitted to yourself that you were, in fact, truly happy.
Not just for yourself, but for him - for the man who, for the first time since signing his divorce papers a few months ago finally looked light. Not weighed down. Not lost in some invisible battle in his mind. Just… happy.
And the moment felt so sweet, a microcosm where locking eyes with each other was ordinary conduct in such close proximity, where neither of you felt the need to temper that undeniable - if slightly terrifying - undercurrent of chemistry.
Just the understanding that this was safe, that this was allowed.
And somehow, that made it even sweeter.
Not just the warmth of it, not just the effortless way you fit into this tight space together, but the inescapable fact that your probably borderline-manipulative plan to drag him out of his self-imposed exile - had actually worked.
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"Now you have to tell me how you managed to get not only Rossi but Hotch to join us tonight, sweet Teach - what kind of sorcery did you pull?" Penelope beamed, not even giving you a second to breathe after you’d opened the door to your apartment.
Ever since she got shot and still struggled with being alone in her house, the two of you had built this little ritual - getting ready together, spending a few hours just the two of you in your apartment before a night out.
A win-win, really, considering you also took your time settling into this place, figuring out how to make it feel like home. Penelope had even been the one to help you unpack your very last box, and now this little tradition had taken root.
She brought the wine, you experimented with vegan appetizers - some more successful than others - and the two of you would rant, gossip, and talk about everything and nothing. But, most importantly, Penelope took on the herculean mission of wrangling your ridiculously high-maintenance team into one place for a night out.
It was a diplomatic nightmare. The venue had to be quiet enough for Spencer but still have music good enough for Derek, serve whatever mocktail JJ was obsessed with that month, and somehow accommodate Emily’s inevitable last-minute curveballs - which, incidentally, was how Spencer found himself at a drag show for the first time.
Shockingly, he’d been asking to go back to that bar ever since.
You, meanwhile, were more like Penelope’s unpaid secretary. She desperately needed one, given the sheer level of effort it took to coordinate this mess.
"You asked, and I delivered," you said, shrugging. "Told Rossi that Hotch was coming, told Aaron that Rossi was coming too - he actually turned out to be much easier to persuade."
"I wonder why… oh, right," Penelope sing-songed, eyes gleaming. "Big Bossman has a soft spot for you, smiley little thing."
You rolled your eyes. "The fact that we’re friends doesn’t change that he is infuriatingly stubborn once he makes up his mind. So annoying."
"Nine years of ‘friendship’" Penelope quipped, stretching the word out suspiciously.
"Actually, it’s ten," you corrected, sipping your wine as you settled onto your kitchen stool.
Penelope gasped - full dramatic hand-to-chest gasp. "Oh my STARS and MOONS! Ten years?! And you didn’t tell me?! What did you do? What did he do? Just the two of you , alone somewhere private, existing in your natural secretive habitats like the little pretty, reserved, woodland creatures you two are… especially now that he’s divor-"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Pen!" you cut her off before she could run that train straight off the rails. "How many times have I told you we're-"
But no. She didn’t let you finish.
"Oh, Teach!" she grinned, eyes sparkling enough to concern you. "I was just suggesting you two do something to celebrate… something you two love to do. You know, stay up all night bonding over files… bending over files…"
You choked.
Actually choked.
Wine went straight up your nose, burned your throat, and splattered all over you, going everywhere.
Your counter.
Your floor.
Your poor, innocent, pristine white pants.
Penelope screamed - but not in horror, in absolute, unhinged delight.
"OH MY GOD," she cackled, slapping a hand against your back like that would somehow help you breathe again. "I HAVE NEVER BROKEN YOU SO FAST."
You wheezed, still coughing. "Penelope-"
She wiped a fake tear from her eye, grinning. "Oh no, sweet pea. You absolutely just got - wait." She paused mid-celebration, tilting her head as if she had just made a discovery.
Then, in a tone far too calm for the amount of damage she was about to inflict - "Much like I imagine Aaron Hotchner could do."
A horrible, inhuman noise clawed its way out of your throat - your last dying breath, probably.
Penelope lost it. Full-body laughter, already snatching a towel but making zero effort to hide the criminal glint in her eyes.
"I’m just saying," she went on, barely containing herself, "you and Mr. Tall, Dark, and Emotionally Repressed have this whole agonizingly slow-burn, will-they-won’t-they, tragic yearning thing going on, and you know I’m right."
You groaned, dabbing furiously at the stain. "There is nothing slow-burn about a decade-long friendship."
"Aha! So you admit it’s a burn!" Penelope beamed, pointing at you like she had just cracked a conspiracy wide open.
The more you dabbed, the worse it got - just like this conversation, apparently. "Oh, no, I never-”
"All I’m saying is," she steamrolled over you, completely unfazed, "the energy you two radiate is so thick I could slather it on a bagel. Toasted chemistry. Smothered in slow-burn spread. One time I saw him look at you like you personally hand-crafted happiness from scratch just for him. Like you reached into the fabric of the universe and said, ‘Here you go, Hotchner, a reason to believe in joy again.’"
You paused, glaring at her. "That is insane."
She ignored you, fully in the zone now. "And don’t even get me started on the way you look at him when he isn’t paying attention."
You looked at him completely normally. Totally neutral. A textbook, regulation-approved gaze.
Even Anderson looked at him with more fervor than you ever did - and as far as you knew, he wasn’t even into men.
You scoffed, crossing your arms. "And how exactly do I look at him, Penelope? Enlighten me."
She grinned - dangerously - and leaned in like she was about to drop the biggest bombshell of your life. "Like you already know what he looks like naked and are trying very, very hard not to think about it."
You froze.
For exactly half a second - which, unfortunately, was half a second too long.
Penelope’s entire face dropped. Eyes huge. Mouth hanging open. A moment of stunned silence. And then-
"OH. MY. GOD."
Your stomach plummeted. "Penelope, don’t-"
"OH MY GOD. YOU DID."
"Penelope," you tried again, desperately attempting to rein in the chaos - but, to your credit, you did at least try to keep your voice level.
"JESUS, MARY, AND EMILY PRENTISS, YOU TOTALLY DID THE HORIZONTAL TANGO WITH AARON HOTCHNER. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE MINX. HOW DARE YOU HIDE THIS FROM ME?!"
"Penelope, for the love of-" you started, but of course she chimed in again.
"WHEN?! WHERE?! HOW?! DETAILS, WOMAN!"
You exhaled through your nose, dragging a hand down your face because there was no getting out of this.
"Once," you muttered. "Nine years ago."
Silence.
Then, with the most scandalized expression you've ever witnessed on her face, she shrieked, "ONLY ONCE?!"
You threw your hands up. "Yes, only once! And never again."
"WHY ONLY ONCE?!" she shrieked, as if you had just admitted to committing the single greatest injustice known to mankind.
You exhaled, bracing yourself, hoping that a little honesty might finally get her to calm down. "Because, at the time… I might have had a bit of a crush on him. And we were coworkers. And it wasn’t exactly… ethic-"
"FUCK THE ETHICAL!" she screamed, thrilled by the sheer scandal of it all.
You should have seen that coming."Penelope!"
She flailed her arms so violently she nearly knocked over her wine glass, eyes wide "You had a crush on him?! ON HOTCH?! AND YOU ONLY DID IT ONCE?! Oh, I cannot with you right now. You are so infuriating sometimes! You have the emotional restraint of a saint, and I do not mean that as a compliment."
"We were both drunk, and it was a mistake. It happened, we moved on, and that was the end of it. We’re friends, and that’s all it’s ever going to be." you said, unwavering. " Honestly, I don’t even think about it anymore - sometimes, I even laugh about it."
Penelope squinted, gears visibly turning in that devious head of hers, already cooking up something absolutely unhinged. "Mmm-hmm. Okay. Fine. Sure. Let’s pretend I accept that. But-"
Oh no.
"-if it were to happen again, hypothetically speaking, do you think it would be even better now that he’s aged like a fine, expensive, top-shelf wine? And, and, anddd - follow-up question - on a purely objective, scientific level - how would you rate him? You know, visually?"
"Penelope!" you groaned, but unfortunately, your traitorous brain had already started answering the question.
Yes.
And no comment.
"Okay, okay, fine, no ratings," she huffed dramatically, rolling her eyes so hard you were surprised she didn't sprain something. "But-"
This was it. Your moment. Time to end this madness with a good old, firm, satisfying -"No."
But, of course, that would have been too good to be true.
She continued "-would you say he's more on the impressively sized side or-"
"Penelope, please." You were already suffering.
She waved you off like your dignity was a minor inconvenience to her scientific research. "Listen, I’m just saying," she went on, tone now fully deranged, "the man carries himself like he’s got something to be confident about. Big hands, big energy, big…"
You froze. "Do not finish that sentence."
"BIG, HUGE D-"
Time to draw the line.
You shot up so fast your chair went flying, rattling against the floor as you grabbed your phone.
Penelope screeched. "Wait - what are you doing?!"
You scrolled, thumb unwavering, and hit call. "Giving you a direct source."
Her soul left her body. "NO. NO, YOU WOULD NOT-"
You absolutely would.
And you did.
"Come on," you said, completely deadpan, as the dial tone rang. "It’s just Aaron."
Penelope malfunctioned. She glitched like a corrupted file. She stared at you, horrified, mouth moving but no sound coming out.
"He’s just 'Aaron' to you?" she whispered, her hands flailed before slamming onto the table as if physically stabilizing herself. "No last name? No title? Just oh, you know, my casual little ex-lover, Aaron? Just ‘hello, this is a man I have been biblically familiar with, Aaron?’ Just ‘we had sex nine years ago, and now he’s simply Aaron, like we’re old college roommates and not two people who have seen each other naked’"
…Hmm. Well. Yes?
To be fair, you’d never really thought about it before. It just… happened. One day, he was Hotch, then - sometime after that night - he was Aaron. And after that, you never really stopped.
No big discussion, no conscious decision - just a shift so seamless that you hadn’t even registered it until right now, in this very moment, with Penelope practically having a full-body breakdown in your kitchen.
Not important. Moving on.
Because, frankly, you had bigger concerns - like how you were about to experience instant, irreversible consequences for your actions, since the call, after one, two, three rings-
Connected.
"Hello?" His voice came through the line - slightly huffed, a little breathless, like he’d just moved across the room.
"You took a while to pick up," you said casually - a joke, a throwaway comment.
There was a pause. A beat.
And then, in that deadly flat, unbothered tone of his, he answered, "I was still in the shower."
You froze.
Penelope froze.
Somewhere, on the opposite side of your living room wall, your elderly neighbor Mrs. Lee - who had been subtly not subtly eavesdropping through the thin drywall of your apartment - probably froze.
You could feel Penelope vibrating beside you, gripping your arm so tightly she was cutting off circulation, meanwhile, your brain was running in circles, slamming against metaphorical walls, and screaming into the void because-
Aaron in the shower.
Aaron, freshly out of the shower.
Aaron, picking up the phone, standing there, probably half-naked, hair wet-
No. Nope. Absolutely not.
You leaned back against the counter, schooling your expression into something completely unfazed. "Well, now I feel bad for interrupting."
"I doubt that," he said dryly. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all. It’s just that Penelope had something very important to ask you," you said, glancing over at her with the most innocent, borderline sadistic smile you could muster.
"I - what - no, I don’t-" she sputtered, frantically shaking her head and waving her hands.
Aaron, still completely unaware of the impending disaster, said, "What is it, Penelope?"
Dead silence.
Garcia looked like she had been struck by divine retribution.
"Go on," you mouthed, biting back a grin. "Ask him."
She opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
Nothing.
Just the sound of sheer existential regret.
"Garcia?" Aaron prompted, his tone patient, if slightly concerned.
"I - um - hi, sir Sir," she finally managed, voice several octaves higher than usual. "I - I just - well, you know - um. How was your shower?"
You slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming.
Aaron, completely unfazed, just answered like this was a normal human interaction,"It was fine."
"Good! That’s great!" Garcia blurted, nodding furiously at no one in particular. "Love a good shower! Love hygiene! So important! Huge fan of cleanliness! Showering - what a concept! Water? Incredible. Soap? Revolutionary. Scrubbing? Life-changing. Anyway, I have to go bye!"
And then she hung up so fast it was a miracle she didn’t break the phone.
You just stared at her.
She just stared back.
Then, in perfect sync -
You both screamed, laughing.
"You traitor!" Penelope wheezed, still half-laughing, half-mortified.
"You were the one who wanted answers!" you gasped, nearly crying from laughter.
"Not from him directly!" she shrieked, burying her face in her hands like that could somehow reverse time - but she was laughing anyway, because this was, undeniably, the funniest and most horrifying thing that had ever happened.
"Well, I just saved you the effort," you teased.
She ripped her hands away from her face, wild-eyed. "You made me ask our boss about his shower."
"You made me listen to your entire dissertation on whether or not he’s impressively sized - I feel like we’re even."
You still somehow winced thinking back about it.
She groaned, collapsing against the counter. "I will never recover from this."
"Oh, I’m sure you absolutely will," you said, reaching for the wine bottle. "Do you want more wine?"
She lifted her head just enough to nod. Begrudgingly.
You poured, sliding her glass across the counter. Then, with the kind of magnanimous generosity only wine-fueled chaos could inspire, you added, "And - because I am a good friend - I will allow you one question about that night. One. With a detail."
Penelope snapped upright faster than the speed of light, gasping. "Oh, this is the best day of my life."
You chuckled, shaking your head, sipping from your own glass too. "Make it count."
She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and then, she leaned in and whispered- "Was it at least good enough that you'd do it sober?"
You nearly choked, again. "Penelope!"
She lifted a hand. "No, no, no, this is a very fair, very respectable question."
Sure, a question that required another sip of wine to be answered, especially because at this point you literally had nothing more to lose. "Penelope, I would do it sober, wide awake, fully caffeinated, after eight hours of sleep, in a well-lit room, with a legally binding contract ensuring I’d remember every single second."
Penelope screamed.
"OH MY GOD," she wailed, collapsing onto the counter. "THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE NIGHT."
You took another sip, completely unfazed, as she flailed so hard she nearly launched herself off the stool.
"I NEED TO LIE DOWN," she gasped, gripping onto the counter for support. "I NEED TO CALL EMILY. JJ – OH SWEET LITTLE JJ – SHE’S IN NEW ORLEANS SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW”
"You need to calm down," you deadpanned.
She pointed at you, accusatory, still half-breathless from screaming. "You were gonna take this to the grave. You were gonna let me die not knowing this. ME. PENELOPE GARCIA. The person who has kept all of your secrets and asked for nothing in return except unfiltered chaos."
"I was absolutely going to take this to the grave," you confirmed, refilling your wine.
She let out a dramatic gasp. "YOU MONSTER."
You shrugged. "You survived."
She slammed a hand on the table. "You know who wouldn’t have survived?"
You tilted your head. "Who?"
She leaned in, eyes glinting. "Aaron Hotchner."
You made a low, strangled noise in the back of your throat.
"Oh, he absolutely wouldn’t have survived if he knew this just came out of your mouth," she continued, giddy, thriving off the absolute chaos she had unleashed. Then, dead serious - "Text him right now and tell him."
You slammed your wine down. "I am definetely not texting him that."
"Why not?!" she howled.
"Because I told you - I’m never doing that. Ever. I’m serious. If I could go back in time and relive that sober? Sure. But not. Now."
She narrowed her eyes, assessing, calculating.
"Okay, okay, alright then - next question." she said too fast, taking a sip like she was preparing for battle. "Do you think he’d do it sober?"
You opened your mouth - but nothing came out. Because you hadn’t actually thought about that before.
Penelope gasped so loudly that you were surprised the walls didn’t shake. "OH MY GOD, YOU DON’T KNOW."
"I-"
"OH MY GOD, WHAT IF HE THINKS ABOUT IT, WHAT IF HE REGRETS NOT DOING IT AGAIN."
"Penelope," you said slowly, carefully, " you know what? I have reached my limit. This conversation is getting put away. We are going to the bathroom, I am curling your hair, and we are talking about something else."
"You know, Teach," she mused, stretching luxuriously as she grabbed her wine glass. "You have a really weird way of showing love."
You took a slow sip of wine, watching her over the rim of your glass. “I agree - it’s because I hate you just as much as I love you, PG. Opposites aren’t really opposites, you know? They kind of fold into each other - love, hate… same fire, same burn. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.”
You were actually proud of this philosophical pearl of wisdom. Penelope? Not so much.
She cut you off immediately. "Oh my GOD, this explains so much. This is exactly why you and Hotch looked like you were about to fuck in the middle of the bullpen yesterday."
"PENELOPE."
She pointed at you, completely unbothered. "OH NO NO NO - I was sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly you two were arguing about the profile like you were in some kind of battle for dominance, standing way too close, talking way too low, making way too much direct eye contact."
"We were disagreeing about the profile."
"YOU WERE HAVING A MENTAL THREESOME WITH THE PROFILE BETWEEN YOU."
You let your head drop onto the counter.
She kept going. "It was totally foreplay - and then, mid-argument, he even took you to his office."
You lifted your head just enough to glare at her. "We went to his office to continue the discussion in private."
"Sure..." she grinned, skipping toward the bathroom. "Fine, fine. But just so you know," she threw a look over her shoulder, "if Hotch ever does take you to his office for anything other than work, I expect a full report."
Oh fucking hell.
"I hope your curls come out uneven," you muttered, grabbing the curling iron.
"I hope you get stuck in an elevator with him," she shot back.
You narrowed your eyes. "I hope you trip in your heels tonight."
She grinned wider. "I hope Hotch sits across from you at the bar and just stares at your lips the whole time."
You scoffed. "I hope your mascara smudges so bad you look like a raccoon by the end of the night."
She perked up. "I hope you two sneak away to the bathrooms at the bar, and you have to keep quiet while he-"
"PENELOPE."
She continued, undeterred, "I hope he backs you up against the bar, leans down all serious like he’s about to tell you something important - and then just whispers the filthiest thing you’ve ever heard."
"I hope you break a heel on the way there and have to borrow one of Morgan’s sneakers."
"I hope he offers you his jacket and you realize it still smells like his cologne and suddenly you’re thinking about it again."
"I hope you stub your toe so hard you rethink everything."
"I hope he says your name in that low voice of his, and for a split second, you remember exactly what he sounded like nine years ago-"
"I hope you spill something on your dress and have to go home early."
She cackled, victorious. "I hope you wake up in his bed and don't regret a single thing."
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And maybe, exactly because the two of you had this conversation, you shouldn’t have agreed to go to the bar together in a single car – hers.
You should have seen this coming.
Indeed, as you and Aaron made your way back to the bar, drinks in hand, you spotted Derek and Penelope approaching with a very specific look on their faces.
Derek clapped a hand on your shoulder and said, "Teach - Babygirl had too many drinks to drive, I’m bringing her back home, can-"
Aaron didn’t even let him finish.
"I’ll give the professor a ride," he said immediately, smooth, confident, like he had already made up his mind before Derek even spoke. "You go, Morgan. See you tomorrow morning."
You barely had time to process how utterly inevitable this was - how there was no escaping the tension that had been building up all night until the very moment you stepped out of his car and reached your apartment door.
And then - Penelope smirked.
The smuggest, most self-satisfied, most evil little smirk in existence. You hoped, deeply and sincerely, that this wasn’t her plan all along - but judging by the way she waved so innocently as Derek dragged her away, eyes twinkling like the devil himself-
Yeah. You were doomed.
You were doomed the second you and Aaron stepped out of the bar and, with zero effort, he pushed open the massive, heavy wooden door like it weighed nothing at all. Casual. Effortless. Like he hadn’t even thought about it.
Just naturally stepped aside, one hand braced firmly on the doorframe, the other resting lightly against the door, waiting – watching - as you walked past him.
You were even more doomed when you reached his car and - of course - he opened the passenger seat for you too.
Didn’t even let you reach for it yourself.
Just beat you to it with ease, pulling it open - but instead of walking away immediately, he lingered for half a second longer, his hand still resting on the handle, holding it just firmly enough so he could be the one to shut you in himself.
Like this wasn’t already a lost art. Like this was just how things were supposed to be.
To top it all off, he got in, and as he backed out of the parking spot, his arm reached behind your headrest, fingers resting exactly there, his body leaning in just slightly closer as he turned to glance over his shoulder.
You had never wanted to fight for your life more.
Not because of the closeness.
Not because of the way his short-sleeved polo shifted, muscles tensing subtly, biceps flexing just enough as he turned the wheel -
No.
It was because he chose this exact moment to mutter, in that low, distracted, completely serious voice, something about the structural failures of public infrastructure.
"Parking lots aren’t properly illuminated," he murmured, half to himself, half to you, as he pulled out of the space - leaning in just enough for you to be wrapped in the warmth of his woody cologne. "Streetlamps are too far apart - against regulation. Visibility’s compromised."
You blinked.
It was so incredibly Hotchner of him to be thinking about streetlamp regulations at a time like this that you nearly lost your mind.
But you couldn’t even react, because then he turned on the car radio. And instead of some normal, pre-set station, it booted right into his most recent activity.
Which meant - of course - it immediately picked up in the middle of whatever custom CD he had been listening to on the way to the bar.
You had exactly one second to register the unfamiliar tune before it clicked - this was from whatever Broadway musical he was currently obsessed with.
Oh, he was such a loser.
You turned your head toward him, but Aaron - unfazed, unbothered - simply reached forward and turned the volume down to a casual, background level.
Like this was all perfectly normal.
Like you hadn’t just caught him.
"Aaron." You bit back a smirk.
He kept his eyes firmly on the road, expression unreadable. "Hmm?"
"Which one is this?" you asked, already knowing the answer but needing him to say it out loud.
"Wicked," he muttered. Then, quickly -"I can change it."
"Oh no, no, don’t you dare, Hotchner." You chuckled, settling in. "Always wondered what your music taste sounds like."
He exhaled deeply. "It is not only this-" he started, trying, truly trying to make you understand the complexity of his other music tastes, to defend his honor, but – they just started singing. And he knew.
He knew.
You were never going to let him live this down. Better off saving his breath.
Hilarious, and the best part? He didn’t even know he was.
Halfway through, you tilted your head, listening. "So this whole song is about two girls absolutely hating each other because they’re complete opposites, but they’re forced to be roommates?"
"Pretty much, yes." His answer a little too quiet, and - though he tried to hide it - deeply embarrassed.
You grinned. "It kinda sounds like they have a crush on each other," you commented, trying your best not to notice how his fingers tapped the wheel, completely in rhythm with the song, while his face remained perfectly composed - extremely normal about something he so clearly wasn't at all.
"That’s the whole point," he said, deadpan, keeping it short.
"Oh “ You blinked. “Do they get together at the end?"
"Unfortunately not." He sounded so genuinely bitter about it that you nearly laughed. "They become best friends, though."
Though, judging by the way his gaze flicked toward you for half a second, he wasn’t entirely sure if you were still talking about the musical - or something else entirely.
Especially when you simply hummed, turning to look out the window. "Best friends."
"Yes. Best friends." His fingers tightened on the wheel.
And damn if you didn’t let the silence linger just a beat too long.
"They don’t get together because they’re completely different, so they’re not compatible?" you asked, your voice just a little too earnest.
"Not because of that," he started. "It’s because one of them becomes a political fugitive and is declared a national threat, while the other is essentially forced into being the corrupt government’s PR puppet."
Ah. Okay.
There was no possible way to explain it in a way that didn’t completely kill the mood - impossible, really. But he tried anyway.
"Although," he added, keeping his voice even, measured, like this was not something he had many thoughts on, "they do have a really dramatic goodbye, where they sing about how much they changed each other’s lives and how they’ll never be the same again."
He felt you turn toward him, and though he kept his eyes on the road, he felt it - that shift in your attention, God knows on what, though.
"Best friends," you repeated.
He gripped the wheel just a little too tight. "Best friends," he confirmed, again.
A beat. A pause. Too long.
"And you think it would have been better if they had been together?" Your question landed way too heavy, like you knew exactly how much weight it carried.
Like you knew exactly how his mind worked, how he had spent far too long thinking about this, not just in the context of some musical, but in general.
He exhaled, keeping his eyes fixed ahead, but his grip tightened again.
And then-
"Fuck yes," the words left his mouth way too fast.
So fast that he heard you laugh before he even saw you smile from the rereview mirror of the car.
And God - that laugh.
It wrecked him.
Not because it was loud or sudden, but because it was yours. Because it was real. Unguarded. Effortless. Because it was him that pulled it from you - and it was then, in that moment, that he knew.
He was so, so fucked.
Because this wasn’t new. This wasn’t some sudden realization, some reckless thought that had just wormed its way into his mind out of nowhere.
It had been there. For a long time. Ten whole years.
He had just never let himself look at it too closely.
Because if he did - if he let himself really think about it, about how he felt like he was burning alive every time you looked at him like that - it would be too much.
It would consume him.
And he could not, would not, risk this unless he was absolutely sure.
Unless he knew you wanted him too.
Unless he knew you burned for him the same way he was combusting for you in real time in this car.
And that terrified him, because he was not sure.
Because you laughed like it was just funny.
Because you smiled like this was just a conversation.
Because you did not look wrecked.
Not like he felt.
So instead, he cleared his throat, steadied his grip, and forced his voice into something casual, distant - yet still, somehow, not completely backing down. "You think they should have ended up together too, then?"
Not ‘do you think I’m wrong’.
Not ‘do you disagree’.
But  - you think so too.
Like some small, cowardly, pathetic part of him needed to hear you say it.
There was a pause - not a long one, not anything noticeable if he wasn’t paying attention. But he was.
He was paying attention to everything.
To the way your breath hitched just slightly, to the way your fingers twisted at the hem of your sleeve, to the way you turned your head to look at him.
“Obviously.” You gestured toward the radio. “You don’t harmonize so effortlessly with someone you’re just calling a ‘friend.’ That’s literally just denial with extra steps.”
He almost told you that harmonizing perfectly was the entire point of musical theater. That it was scripted, practiced, designed to fit together.
That it didn’t mean anything.
But he didn’t, because he knew what you meant. “So you believe in that?” he asked, voice steady, casual, like this was just another discussion.
You raised an eyebrow. “In what?”
His fingers tapped against the wheel, once, twice – thoughtful - before he finally spoke. "That some people are just... deluding themselves."
The shift was small, but he felt it. Your smile didn’t falter. Your posture didn’t change. But something in your expression - in your eyes specifically - shifted.
It was dangerous, talking to you like this.
Because you noticed too much. Because you understood more than most. Because you saw through things - through people - with a clarity that was often unnerving.
Especially when it came to him.
Especially when he wasn’t sure he was ready to be understood like that.
It was your job, afterall.
"Oh, absolutely," you said easily, your tone way too light for his liking. "People are the most oblivious to themselves. We exist in a perpetual state of contradiction - endlessly chasing clarity while fiercely protecting the illusions that comfort us. We reshape our own realities, bending them to fit the narratives we can live with, refusing to confront the truths that feel too heavy - even when they’re staring right at us."
And didn’t he know - hadn’t he always known - how precise you could be with words in moments like this? The moments where he wasn’t, the only moments where he wasn’t precise at all.
How effortlessly you could thread meaning into silence, weaving it into something he could either acknowledge or ignore.
How your gaze lingered just a fraction too long, like you were offering him a choice.
And he didn’t know whether to turn away from it - or step straight into it.
Because for once, he couldn’t read you and that terrified him.
He had spent his entire life seeing through people, understanding them before they even understood themselves.
Yet here he was, in the quiet of his car, in the space between you, not entirely sure who you were talking about.
And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.
So he did what he had always done.
He lived with it.
With the sound of his heart thundering louder than the music - louder than your occasional singing along when something familiar played, or the rhythm of your voice alternating with his as you both filled the car with conversation about everything and nothing.
Each block closer to your apartment building felt like a loss, something slipping through his fingers before he even had the chance to hold onto it. He was already mourning the night before it was over.
And neither of you seemed to want it to end, given how relentlessly the talking continued, stretching time as far as it would allow.
It wasn’t until half an hour later that it even occurred to either of you that you were standing outside in the cold, leaning against the driver’s side door, your arms wrapped around yourself in a futile attempt to keep warm. He was still in the car, window rolled down, engine still running, caught between staying and leaving.
It made him ache, interrupting you mid-sentence to point it out. “You’re shivering,” he said quietly, apologetic, as though he were to blame for the biting chill in the air.
It made him ache even more when, instead of brushing it off or saying goodnight, you invited him upstairs, at how his jacket was discarded somewhere along the short path to your building’s entrance, now draped over your shoulders along with his arm, pulling you closer.
It was ridiculous how, even with two jackets on, the only thing keeping you from freezing was his arm.
What was even more ridiculous - hideous, really - was how he should have been the one freezing, left in nothing but short sleeves, yet somehow, standing there with you wrapped up in him, he’d never felt warmer in his life.
So warm that he didn’t even notice the chill of the night.
So warm, in fact, that he didn’t even need the blanket you handed him when you both settled into your living room, waiting for the heating to kick in. He let it drape over his lap out of politeness more than necessity, as if pretending to care about staying warm.
Now, you sat on opposite ends of your couch, shoes abandoned by the door, both of you leaning on the armrest closest to the other, legs angled toward one another, the space between you steadily narrowing. Distance itself felt like an insult, your arms resting along the back of the couch so you could still face each other, still hold onto the moment that neither of you wanted to let slip away.
And he didn’t dare lose sight of your eyes.
It was in that exact moment that a memory surfaced—some weeks ago, sitting alone in his living room, reading Symposium, a book he only picked up because he had seen you so engrossed in it on the jet. Because he had wanted to understand what had captured your mind so entirely.
And everything that followed - a whole night of texting, deep conversations neither of you ever brought up again, like always.
His eyes had analyzed the book twice, dissected its structure, its meaning. And yet, only now, in the absence of it but in your presence, did he finally understand that one passage.
"And when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself… the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other's sight, even for a moment."
He understood.
Because he couldn’t look away from you - not now, not ever.
The world outside was so quiet that every word exchanged between you felt magnified, as though the universe itself had leaned in to listen. And when even your whispers felt too loud, you shifted closer, scooching toward him on the couch.
Just a few inches at first.
And then he did the same.
You moved again. Then so did he.
And suddenly, your crossed leg was draped over his, the fabric of your tights brushing against his jeans as naturally as if it had always been there. His left hand settled somewhere near your knee - hesitant, not gripping, but resting. Shy.
The ticking clock on the wall was the only tether to the concept of time, because what he’d assumed to be ten, maybe fifteen minutes revealed itself to be a full hour.
3 A.M. And neither of you seemed to care.
By then, his hand had already found the courage to rest between your thighs, still safely on your knee. Though it didn’t take long before his thumb began moving on its own, tracing slow, idle patterns over the thin fabric of your tights.
He didn’t say anything about the way your foot brushed his calf, or how his name on your lips sounded softer in the early hours. Or at how all of this mutual care betrayed his mind, cracking open a small window to what it could have been.
Yet somehow, it felt far more like a glimpse of what it could be.
“Aaron,” your said, soft enough that it sounded more like a thought than a spoken word.
It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t even a statement. It was just his name. Him.
And somehow, that made it all the more devastating.
You hesitated, your eyes dropping to where his hand rested on your knee. He followed your gaze, and in that moment, even though he’d memorized every fleck of color in your irises, their absence felt like a loss.
So dull that his thumb stilled its movements across your knee under your inspection, as if the simple acknowledgment of the two of you now might shatter everything.
He braced himself for a shift - for the game you always played, where lines were drawn, and walls went back up. Where the closeness between you was something fleeting, fleeting enough to pretend it never existed.
But then, you looked back up.
And instead of retreat, instead of scolding or teasing or anything he expected, there was something else entirely. “I really don’t want this night to end.”
He wasn’t sure he’d heard you right, but the look in your eyes left no room for doubt. You weren’t just talking about the night… and neither was he.
But he didn’t know how to give you the honesty you deserved without completely unraveling, not until his thumb resumed its gentle movements on your knee - more to selfishly steady himself than anything else.
“Neither do I,” he admitted finally, even if each second was daring him to say more, to close the space between you entirely. But he didn’t move. Couldn’t. Not yet.
It was you who moved first.
Plato said that ‘At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.”
Maybe he was right, because as your hand slid down his arm, it felt like a verse being written. The way your fingertips barely grazed the surface of his skin, tracing the map of his veins with a tenderness you hadn’t realized you possessed, pretending the warmth under your fingertips didn’t make your stomach tremble, until finally, your touch lingered on his knuckles.
A pause, hesitant. Then, almost instinctively, you laced your fingers with his. It felt... inevitable. Natural in a way that terrified you.
“Didn’t expect you to be this warm,” you murmured, your voice light, almost teasing, though you couldn’t hide the way it trembled.
You finally found the courage to meet his eyes. Hazel. Searching. Devastating.
And you weren’t afraid of what you saw, you already knew. What terrified you was that, with one touch, you might have unraveled something too fragile to survive.
His gaze fell to your joined hands, his thumb gliding softly over the back of yours, speaking in the ineffable language of touch.
“I didn’t expect to feel this… right,” he said, the words so quiet they felt more like a confession than a statement.
The smallest smile tugged at your lips, and you leaned in just a little more. “Aaron…”
And that was it.
Whatever restraint he’d been holding onto slipped away entirely. Before he could overthink it, his hand came to rest against your cheek, his calloused palm cradling the softness of your face.
Gentle. Steady. Tender.
The contrast was almost startling, culminating in the soft whimper that escaped your lips as the cold metal of his watch grazed your neck. And so, apologetically, his thumb began to move, tracing gentle patterns along your cheek, as though committing every curve, every subtle shift, to memory.
You didn’t pull away.
Instead, your hand slid to his wrist, holding him there, your thumb tracing the same delicate patterns along his inner wrist, matching his movements with the same ease that echoed in the way you ordinarily mirrored each other’s posture, each other’s language.
His gaze flickered to your lips. “You have no idea how hard it is to stop myself here,” he just said, now without a hint of regret, not when your eyes searched his with the same intensity he felt pulling at his chest.
“You don’t have to,” you whispered, the words so soft they barely reached him, but he heard them as clearly as if you’d shouted.
His breath came shallow now, his gaze searching yours, as though looking for any sign of hesitation.
But there was none. Only the quiet, unspoken truth reflected back at him.
And so his other hand found your waist, pulling you closer - so close that, without thinking, you moved to straddle him, your knees settled on either side of his hips.
“I-” he stammered, as he looked at you wide-eyed tilting his head back slightly, before shaking his head, a breathless chuckle escaping him.
“Sorry,” you blurted, heat rushing to your face as you realized just how intimate the position you’d claimed truly was – the cruelty of not having even thought about it once before moving, how it was the only way to still communicate with his eyes.
“No,” he said quickly, almost shy, but the way his thumbs brushed your sides betrayed how much he didn’t want you to move. “Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it...” he trailed off, though you didn’t miss how his gaze flickered to your lips more than once.
“…Are you comfortable?” he asked softly, his eyes wandering across your face.
It wasn’t just a question; it was a moment stretched taut, as if he was buying himself time, wanting to keep this moment balanced on the edge of the razor for just a little longer.
On this space of tenderness, where care outweighed desire, where everything still hung in the balance, where there was still time to hold back, to savor the precipice, waiting for one of you to risk it.
You nodded. “Very.”
The smallest, warmest smile flickered across his lips. “I’m happy you are,” he murmured.
How could he be even so sweet? How could he, in the middle of this - when your body was pressed so close to his - still be so considerate, so cautious, so Aaron?
How could his hands, now steady on your waist, have only settled there after he’d murmured a careful, overly-polite, “May I?”, the formality of it, juxtaposed with the intensity of his touch, was enough to make you giggle.
“Please don’t smile at me like that when you’re this close,” he said, his voice dropping to a low rasp, his gaze fixed on your lips.
You couldn’t help but grin wider. “Why not?” your fingers brushing lightly against his jaw.
“Because,” he began, his lips twitching up, “it makes me forget how to think.”
Crazy, really. The idea that Aaron Hotchner, the most precise and methodical man you’d ever met, could forget how to think. Thinking was practically the core of his being, wasn’t it?
Cogito, ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.
Because if forgetting how to think meant losing himself, then you were the cause. You had undone him.
Shaken the core of a man who had carved his entire existence around reason – or at least, tried to fool everyone into thinking so. And now, here he was - disarmed by nothing more than a smile, a touch, and the mere proximity of your lips.
If existence is rooted in thought, and Aaron’s thoughts were consumed entirely by you, did that mean his existence was yours to hold? Did that mean, right now, he existed only because you allowed him to? Couldn’t be that.
Still, how dizzying it was to consider how quickly you’d become his undoing – yet, perhaps what was even more terrifying was the way he seemed to welcome it.
“You’re not wrong,” he murmured, his voice quiet but steady, like a confession meant just for you. His dark eyes searched yours, their intensity almost overwhelming. “You do undo me.”
Your breath caught. “How did you even manage-”
But he didn’t let you finish. His forehead pressed softly against yours, his nose brushing yours in the faintest of touches.
And so your eyes closed together, as if the nearness alone was too much to bear, especially when his lips hovered so close that you could feel the warmth of his breath.
How paradoxical it was that you both desperately craved each other’s mouths, yet now, in this unbearable closeness, neither of you could summon the courage to take the last step.
How you continued lingering in the tension, your breaths mingling, your bodies pressed so close that those strong hands of his, still firmly on your waist, urged you even further onto him.
Neither of you wanted to bear the responsibility of what came next. What was about to happen. What was meant to happen. It wasn’t a game anymore. You were done waiting.
You wanted him. Now.
You were ready - to let it all go.
“Aaron,” you whispered, looking into him.
And as always, he seemed to be the only one who understood you, he began to trail kisses across your face, soft, slowly, taking his time.
Your temple.
The side of your right eye.
The curve of your cheek.
Down to your jawline.
Then, he traced his way back up, planting one final kiss at the very edge of your mouth.
When he pulled back, intoxicated, his eyes found yours - wet, shining, unguarded, just like his.
“Please, ask me to stop,” he whispered, his voice breaking, his eyes already glistening with unshed tears.
“Aaron, I can’t,” you murmured, the words trembling on your lips as your breath mingled with his, the space between you growing thinner with every passing second.
The moment.
How do you measure a moment like this?
One tick of the clock. Two tears slipping free from both of you. Three uneven heartbeats, each louder than the last.
And then, finally, he closed the distance.
You should have probably expected that your first kiss would taste like salt, the tears trailing down your faces mingling somewhere in between and masking the real sweetness of it. How the flavor of each other’s mouths was obscured, just as you’d both hidden your true feelings for so long.
It was so cruel in its irony, yet somehow, it fit so perfectly that neither of you could bring yourselves to care.
Because his lips were too soft against yours for your own good, the gentleness of his hand gripping the nape of your neck pulling you closer, while the other rested against your tear-streaked cheek, damp from both the lingering press of his lips moments before and your tears.
When he finally pulled back, it wasn’t to retreat - it was to cradle your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling, even as his own streamed freely, unchecked.
And as much as you wanted to keep going, to lose yourself in the solace of his mouth, something greater pulled you both in.
Without hesitation, you collapsed into each other’s arms, clutching tightly as though the world around you was slipping away, tears soaking into the other’s shoulders.
Was it penance? For realizing too late how simple this could have been? For all the wasted years, the missed chances, and the pain endured in silence?
Or was it just acceptance -that only now were you both ready to bear the weight of this, to hold each other completely, to disappear into one another?
Maybe that was the point.
Because in that embrace, unplanned and unbidden, came a feeling so familiar it ached.
That same resonance in your chest, the same connection of that first time you ever held him like this, nine years ago in your old apartment, when his walls cracked just enough to let you in.
And so the memory bleeds into the present, and it’s almost unbearable how much has stayed the same, and yet, how utterly everything has changed.
That stupid Hegel wasn’t wrong: the synthesis always becomes a new thesis, a cycle repeating itself. The moment was reborn, again and again, every time.
But damn, how it changed with every turn.
The same, yet entirely different.
The weight of then. The depth of now.
It was all there, in that fleeting, aching embrace. Not just holding on to each other, but to every version of yourselves that had come before - and every one still waiting in the future.
Even as the moment began to fade, as you pulled back - both drawn by the undeniable hunger to find each other’s mouths again - the synthesis was already shifting, reshaping into something new.
Another storm, another struggle, another antithesis loomed ahead, but always, always, the cycle reached for a new synthesis. And Hegel, damn him, was right again.
The cycle never ends.
But neither, it seemed, did you.
Competing with each other, as always.
Neither of you willing to back down, both so eager to claim the other that it became impossible to tell who started the second kiss, it just… happened.
This time, there was no softness, no hesitation - just urgency. Your hands tangled in the back of his hair, pulling him closer, keeping him right where you wanted him, while his hands gripped your lower back.
The moment your lips parted, offering him the faintest invitation, he deepened the kiss without even thinking it twice. His tongue slid against yours with so much hunger you were intoxicated, only for you to interrupt with a sharp bite to his bottom lip.
He growled at the challenge, he had to one-up you, returning the favor by sinking his teeth into your jawline, as if to stake his claim all over again, a sound so low and primal it seemed to vibrate straight into your skin, making you gasp and tighten your hold on him even more, eager to hear it again.
Damn him and his competitiveness.
You couldn’t help but meet it head-on, your hands roaming over the taut muscles of his back, feeling every shift, every flex as he moved against you.
He broke away briefly, not to stop, but to catch his breath as his lips found new territory. From your mouth to your jaw, and then down to your neck, your head tilting back reflexively, granting him even more access.
He smiled against your skin, insufferable even now, and when his lips returned to yours, that grin only widened. You kissed him again and again, but since his stupid smile kept getting in the way, you ended up kissing his teeth more than once.
Damn him.
And yet, you found yourself smiling like a fool, because how could you not? There was no way you could be making him feel this way, yet here you were - both of you lost in it, pushing and pulling, both refusing to surrender.
The more you had of each other, the more you wanted, never satisfied, never close enough, as though the only way to end this ache was to somehow crawl into each other’s skin.
And so, blame the position.
Blame the dress you’d chosen tonight, skimming your thighs, leaving so little to the imagination as it rode up with every shift against him.
Blame the way your kisses had shifted, growing hungrier, messier, more tongue than lips, more heavy breathing than words.
Or blame his new-found obsession to place wet kisses on the spot just behind your ear just to hear you gasp, while he had the audacity to hum into your neck, utterly satisfied with himself, like he was savoring your every reaction to the exquisite work of his mouth.
Blame his body, the way he pressed against you, his hands sliding from your waist to your hips, then lower, settling on your ass with a grip that didn’t make the things any easier.
Blame the way his growing bulge rubbed against you through the rough fabric of his jeans, the friction hitting exactly where the ache was blooming, pulling shudders from deep inside you.
Blame all of it - the kisses, the position, the maddening press of his body against yours - because it only made you more desperate.
The carnal realization of just how badly you wanted him, left you unable to stop. Your hips moved instinctively, grinding against his hardness, the rhythm of your kisses syncing with the desperate roll of your bodies.
Thank God his jeans were dark, because you were sure by now your arousal was leaving its mark on him, soaking into the fabric, leaving evidence of just how far gone you were – and if he noticed, if he felt it, the way his grip tightened on your waist told you he didn’t care.
If anything, it spurred him on, pulling you closer, holding you tighter, neither of you could stop moving.
The worst part? You didn’t want to. Not even a little.
What was even worse than this? The fact that Aaron, ever the master of timing, felt the need to comment on the obvious.
“You know what you’re doing, don’t you?” he asked breathless, lips flushed and slightly swollen from yours.
No shit, Sherlock.
You didn’t hesitate. “Aaron, do I look like I don’t know exactly what I’m doing?”
That even managed to earn a chuckle from him – speaking of victories - “Just… wanted to make sure you’re alright with this pace. We’re not exactly taking it slow, you know?!” he rasped, as his hands slid up and down the sides of your hips.
No shit, Sherlock, part two.
Was he worrying about you or himself?
You tilted your head, searching his face, the faint crease in his brow, the way his eyes softened as soon as they were met with yours. “Aaron,” you cupped his cheek. “Do you want to take it slow instead?”
Shit. What if you’d misread him? What if this hesitation wasn’t about concern for you but second thoughts about the entire thing? You hated yourself. How could you even think that-
“Not really,” he admitted, his lips curving into the most kissable smile. “I just… don’t want you to regret this. I’d wait forever if you asked me to, but right now…” His words faltered, his gaze dropping to your lips. “Right now, I don’t think I can. But only if you want it too.”
Oh God, how considerate he was.
Oh God, how much you never trusted anyone as him, how safe did he make you feel, how it almost brought tears to your eyes because you’d forgotten what it felt like to be looked at, cared for, wanted like this.
Oh God, how much you didn’t want to respond with words, to just take his hand, guide it between your legs, and let him feel exactly how much you needed him.
But words it was, then.
“I do, Aaron,” you said, taking his hands in yours. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything. I want this. I want you. But…” Your lips curled up. “Not on my couch. Could we maybe hold out until the bedroom?”
Ah, yes. Turning 30 had officially made you someone who prioritized the longevity of their furniture over their sex life.
How responsible.
How tragic.
And yet, neither of you moved. It took a second - or two, or three - for both of you to gather the energy to even try standing after spending what felt like an eternity tangled up on your poor, overworked second-hand couch…
…a poor overworked second-hand. Hm. Now there was a pattern.
You hated yourself a little for how evil the thought was. Poor couch, poor him.
Not that it wasn’t true. But still - evil.
Still nearly as evil as the absolute disaster you’d made of his hair with your hands while you were making out. A fitting match for the flush on his face and the state of his half-untucked polo, which you’d been yanking at so fervently it was a miracle it hadn’t come off entirely.
Speaking of things you couldn’t stop noticing, the sight before you now was definitely a huge… huge walk with him to your bedroom. Because surely your hallway hadn’t been this long before.
Or maybe he was thinking the same thing, because just as you reached the doorway to your bedroom, he turned you, your back pressing against the wall before you even had time to push the door open.
You didn’t expect him to be this passionate – and desperate, when his mouth was back on yours, claiming you in a kiss so hot and wet it that the wetness surely wasn’t exactly isolated to your mouth at all.
You gasped, caught completely off guard, and that was apparently all the invitation he needed to slip his tongue deeper into your mouth, tasting you, claiming you, and it was so good that you barely managed to catch your breath, let alone remember the damn bedroom door.
“Aaron-” you managed between breathless kisses, barely stringing the words together.
As if you could talk.
As if you could pretend to hold any moral high ground here when your leg was already wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. And oh, he was there - all of him. Thick, hard, and pressing against you.
He groaned into your mouth as his hands slid lower, gripping a handful of your ass, “I know,” he muttered, his voice rasping against your skin. “I know. The door.”
Oh, but why did his voice have to sound like that - so low, so wrecked… so unfair.
Anyway, the door.
Not that it mattered, apparently, because he didn’t move. His lips found your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin there, as his hands kneaded the flesh of your ass like he couldn’t get enough.
“You’re not exactly working on it,” you managed to gasp, and oh, you were so proud of yourself for having the strength to bicker with him even now, even like this.
Of course, Aaron, being Aaron, couldn’t resist biting back.
You felt the curve of his lips against your neck, he chuckled as his teeth grazed the hollow of your throat. “Well,” he murmured, returning to nip at your earlobe. “What about you?”
The man was infuriating. And hot. And so completely overwhelming you could barely think straight.
“I’m very busy right now,” you managed to counter, though what you really meant was that your back was far too occupied arching into him, practically begging for more.
At least he somehow found the self-control to pull back after what you could most graciously describe as an obscene amount of very enthusiastic dry humping. You were both so doomed. His hands steadied you just long enough for him to fumble for the doorknob.
And then the second you crossed the threshold, all bets were off.
His lips - no, his mouth - were on yours again, the kiss so heated it was more teeth and tongue than finesse. Probably because it hit you both at the same time - the realization of just how painfully simple it would be to strip the other bare.
His polo? A quick tug away from being tossed aside. Your dress? One little zipper stood between it and the floor. No barriers. No obstacles. That was all it would take.
And it was as if he read your mind because without a word, his hands found your waist and spun you around, pulling you back against him.
You barely had time to gasp before his head dipped to your neck, as his fingers found the zipper of your dress way too easily without even having to look. Just before he moved it, he paused. “I might’ve left a mark.”
Oh no, what a pity…
“Make it two,” you whispered, your voice trembling as your hand slid into his hair, pressing his head right where you wanted it.
And because Aaron apparently took instructions very well when they suited him, he bit down, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you shiver, the sharpness of it immediately soothed by the warm drag of his tongue.
The sound you made was embarrassing - breathless and high-pitched – that only seemed to spur him on, since in less than a second, the dress was pooling at your feet, leaving you bare save for your tights and underwear.
Mismatched underwear.
A good lace bra - at least there was that - with the most comfortable white cotton grandma pants you could have pulled from the depths of a multipack that were, by how the things have been going now, almost certainly transparent. Perfect.
Not that any of this was supposed to happen, of course.
You hadn’t exactly planned on getting laid by your… what even was he? Your best friend? Your boss?
An objectively gorgeous man with dark eyes that burned into you, whose voice could make your knees completely weak? The person you’d been quietly, stubbornly, and stupidly in sexual tension hell with for a decade?
He was all of that. He was none of that. He was Aaron, and whatever Aaron Hotchner was to you, you hadn’t planned on getting laid tonight. Or this morning. Or whatever ungodly hour it was now.
But plans didn’t seem to matter anymore.
Not when his hands were sliding over your body like you were something he’d wanted for so long that touching you now felt like the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
Not when his lips found yours again, claiming them in a way that made you wonder how either of you had ever survived without tasting each other.
And certainly not when the moment your back hit the mattress of your bed, his full weight pressing into you fully, how your legs opened instinctively, welcoming him, pulling him closer, your body arching into him like it was chasing something only he could soothe.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded, scanning your face like he was trying to memorize every detail. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly, his voice rough but sincere.
“God, you’re so clothed,” you shot back without thinking, your quick wit betraying you yet again, unsure whether to curse yourself for ruining the moment or to thank your sarcasm for always wanting to keep things… balanced.
But instead of appreciating your humor or giving you the satisfaction of stripping him, the insufferable man had the audacity to bypass your comment entirely.
With a swift motion, his hand reached behind you, unclasped your bra, and tossed it somewhere into the abyss of the room without so much as a second glance.
You blinked, momentarily stunned, a flush creeping up your neck at the brazenness of it. “I was referring to you, Hotchner.”
“Eventually,” he murmured, his lips brushing yours before capturing them again in a kiss that effectively cut off any protest you might’ve had. Clever man.
And so he started his descent, a study in patience, still hopelessly romantic about it, as if the situation weren’t already infuriating. Because even though you knew for sure he could feel the way your nipples had hardened against him, he still took his time.
Kissing his way down your throat, spending far too long mapping out the curve of your collarbone with his mouth, fingers just hovering - like he wasn’t already touching you everywhere.
And then, finally, his hands moved. Possessively. His palms covered your breasts, kneading them in a way that sent sparks ricocheting through you, his lips pressing a single, scorching kiss right in the middle of your sternum.
That did it. That had your thighs clenching on instinct, a desperate attempt to manage the growing fire low in your belly.
But you refused to let a sound escape.
Oh no. You weren’t about to give him that satisfaction. Especially not when he got to enjoy the full view of you laid out beneath him while you were left with only the delicious flex of his biceps.
Biceps, which, while spectacular, were not the bare expanse of his back. Not the firm ridges of muscle you knew were under that godforsaken polo, the one thing keeping things uneven between you.
He seemed to catch on to the game you were playing, though, because without warning, his mouth closed over one of your nipples, his tongue swirling over the sensitive peak so perfectly that it had your breath catching in your throat.
At the same time, his fingers found the other, pinching, rolling, teasing - the combination so damn lethal when paired with the languid flicks of his tongue, sending shocks straight to your clit.
Still, you bit your lip, stubbornly holding back the sounds he so clearly wanted to pull from you, even if the ache between your thighs was unbearable now - a dull, insistent throb that begged, no, pleaded for attention.
Attention that the insufferable man was withholding.
Or, unlike you, he simply didn’t want to rush… damn him. He was making it impossible to keep up the charade.
Because every flick of that damned talented mouth of his - now moving onto your other breast - every brush of his fingers, every sound he made against your skin that revealed just how hungry he was of your flesh, was undoubtedly designed to unravel you, piece by piece.
Every piece, that is, except for your poor, neglected, throbbing clit.
And of course, he was enjoying every second of it. Smug bastard.
“You know,” he murmured against your skin, his lips still grazing your nipple, “sounds are appreciated.” …Oh, fuck him.
“So is nudity,” you managed to snap, though your voice trembled, betraying just how close you were to falling apart.
He stilled. Lifted his head just enough to meet your gaze. And then he smirked.
Ah. That smirk. Never a good sign.
Especially not when paired with the way his hands started working your tights down - so slowit was almost unbearable. Always careful, always considerate Aaron. But God, right now, you wanted him ripping them off you.
His gaze swept over you, his eyes instantly darkened as they dettled on the on the damp patch at the center of your underwear.
“You’re soaked,” he murmured, his voice dipping lower, rougher, as his thumb grazed over the edge of the fabric.
Before you could process how pleased he was with himself, he spread your legs further, settling himself between them. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thighs, pinning you down, and he started trailing kisses along your inner thigh.
From the knee.
Oh, come on.
Still, you hissed at the contact, at the way his mouth devoured your thighs like he was savoring every inch of them.
Like this, this was what he lived for. Worshipping you.
And the way his lips moved, how drunk he looked as he worked his way upward, kissing, sucking, biting - just enough to make you twitch, the way his breath shook when he exhaled against your thigh - it only made it worse.
The closer he got, the more impossible it became to hold back the sounds slipping from your lips.
And then - one last kiss, right there, where your thigh met your core.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he murmured, and before you could even think about responding, his tongue flicked out, tasting the arousal that had trailed up to where his mouth lingered.
Oh. What a whore.
“You’re such a who-” you began, but the words barely escaped before he bit down lightly on your clothed clit, sharp enough to send a jolt through your entire body and rip a strangled cry from your throat.
Your reaction must have been exactly what he wanted, because his fingers replaced his teeth immediately, pressing against you through the thin, damp fabric.
“Oh, there you are,” he murmured, dragging his fingers down the length of your slit. “For a second, I thought I wasn’t doing it right.”
You scoffed, or at least you tried to. The sound barely made it past your lips before breaking into another sharp, breathless cry as his fingers rode back up, pressing against your clit in slow circles, the cotton barrier dulling the sensation just enough to drive you insane.
One, two, three strokes - then you stopped counting, too caught up in the feeling of him until he finally tossed the fabric aside, making you feel the cool air against the wet heat of your core, but he didn’t move.
Didn’t touch.
Just -
"You're a goddess."
He stared for so long that you started to wonder if he was waiting for you to say please, some kind of power play. 
Your lips curled slightly as you lifted your chin. "If you think I’m going to beg you now, Hotchner, I’m absolutely not.
Apparently, you had never been more wrong in your life.
Because his head snapped up so fast it was almost comical - except for the way his entire face flushed. Not just with arousal - well, yes, definitely with arousal - but with something else.
The way his mouth parted slightly before he swallowed, his throat bobbing, his gaze flicking away for half a second like he had to collect himself, undoubtedly made you think-
"I was actually…" he cleared his throat, "asking for permission."
Oh. Oh. Apparently, someone couldn’t hide being a bottom for more than a few minutes.
Aaron ‘Attitude’ Hotchner? Gone. Reduced to sheepish glances and waiting for permission like a damn Victorian gentleman the second he actually looked at your cunt.
Hilarious.
"You have it," you murmured.
That was delicious.
And because he was so whipped, he didn’t just dive in immediately. No. Of course not. He had to come all the way back up first, had to kiss you before anything else.
And then he was gone. Gone from your mouth, gone from your chest, gone from anywhere but exactly where you wanted him most.
The very first swipe of his tongue across your folds obliterated any coherent thought, reduced your world to this - to the wet heat of his mouth, to the steady press of his hands holding you open, to the obscene sounds of him devouring you.
There was nothing but him, the way his tongue curled against you, the way his lips closed around your clit with just the right amount of pressure, the way his name tumbled from your lips and melted into the deep, guttural moan he let out as he first tasted you.
And honestly, you couldn’t decide what was hotter - the way his sounds came in perfect harmony with your own cries, or the fact that he was so vocal while eating you out, like it brought him just as much pleasure as it did you.
And it probably did.
Because he lapped at your dripping cunt like a man starved, frantic, desperate, moving with such a hunger that made your fingers dig into his hair, gripping tight like you could somehow hold on to reality through him.
But he didn’t want space. Didn’t need it. If anything, he leaned in further, groaning low against your soaked, swollen cunt, letting you drip down his chin as if he loved the way your arousal was entirely coating his flushed face.
Loved being drenched in you. Loved ruining himself on you.
“Aaron-” your voice broke, your hips jerking up into him, needy. “God, your tongue is unreal.”
And oh, he heard you, loud and clear.
Because his immediate response? Teeth. A quick, sharp graze of his teeth against your clit, followed by a suction so deep, so overwhelming, it ripped a scream straight from your throat.
Fuck him.
“Your-your mouth is unreal,” you stammered, correcting yourself, because apparently, he wasn’t letting you off the hook without acknowledging his full range of talents.
Smiling against your skin - as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious that he had a praise kink, too.
“Sorry,” he said with a kiss to your inner thigh as his thumb kept working on your clit. “I just thought you were a thorough one, Professor.”
What a whore.
“Oh, fuck you for calling me ‘Professor’ like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it,” you shot back.
 “Oh, it does,” he admitted with no shame whatsoever. “I just wish you could feel how much.” His gaze flicked down, daring you to follow it - to the thick, aching bulge straining against his pants, so hard it had to hurt, so obvious it made you clench around nothing.
How cruel of him.
“Keep talking to me like that, Aaron, and I’ll crush your head with my thighs,” you warned, voice shaking, hands fisting into the sheets because he was still teasing, still circling with his thumb instead of putting his damn mouth back where you needed it most.
“Please do,” he said.
And then he gave you exactly what you wanted. His tongue plunged into you, pushing past the unbearable emptiness, giving you something to clench around, something to grind against, something to drown in.
And because he was, apparently, crafted to be the most infuriatingly perfect thing to ever exist - his nose pressed against your clit with every movement, sending white-hot jolts of pleasure through you so intense your legs tried to snap shut around his head.
He was faster. Stronger. Hands tightening against your thighs, keeping them spread as he pressed you further, pinning you down so he could devour you properly. And when your thighs twitched again, reflexive, desperate-
"Stay open for me."
That awful, awful sound. That little flick of his tongue against his teeth, a wordless tsk of disapproval - he did it every time, every single time, and it should have pissed you off but instead, shot straight through you, coiling low in your belly, leaving you breathless, made you arch into his mouth, made you-
"Still, please," he growled, more desperate now, fingers tightening like the control freak he so obviously was. Apparently, the man simply could not function if his so-called work space wasn’t perfectly in order.
Some things never changed.
“You’re such a hypocrite, it was-” Your breath caught on another roll of his tongue, hips jerking up against his face. “It was you who begged me to-”
"Mm," he hummed against you like he was thinking about it, his mouth hot and slick as he pressed deeper, let his tongue flatten. "And?"
…And then his lips closed around you, sucking just right, and you broke. You felt it coiling, tighter, tighter, low deep in your stomach.
"Aaron, I'm so close."
"I got you," he murmured, suddenly warm, suddenly gentle - because despite all the arrogance, the smug little smirks, he was nothing but a softie. All bark, no bite. Well… except for the other kinds of bites. "Don’t worry. Let go."
Then his tongue flicked - once, twice… and you were gone.
Shattered apart, trembling beneath his mouth, your fingers tangled in his hair, yanking, desperate. The pleasure hit sharp and fast, so intense it almost hurt, your muscles locking up as wave after wave crashed through you.
But he didn’t stop. Not until you’d come on his face just one more time.
So his tongue was back on you before you could even recover, dragging you higher, keeping you there, refusing to let you go. His mouth was relentless, but his fingers - God, his fingers.
How many times had you daydreamed about them? How many nights had you imagined the way they’d feel sinking inside you, stretching you open, fucking you deep and slow until you couldn’t think?
A reasonable number of times. That’s what you told yourself.
So it only made sense that you were impatient now, desperate to feel them inside you instead of just ghosting along your soaked folds, teasing, tracing, dipping in just enough to have you thinking, finally -
Only for him to pull away again, just as fast.
“Need some help finding it, Hotchner?” you bit out breathlessly, your voice dripping with sarcasm despite the whimper it ended on. “Don’t be embarrassed. I can guide you if-”
Before you could finish, one thick finger thrust deep inside you, cutting off your words with a strangled moan.
“I think I’ve got it,” he said smugly… oh, he definitely did.
The stretch of just one finger had you reeling, but then he added a second without hesitation, the fullness making you gasp. Two of his fingers felt like three of yours, stretching you perfectly, pressing against spots you didn’t even know existed.
“Fuck, Aaron,” you moaned, gripping the sheets as he started to move faster, stroking that perfect spot again and again until your vision blurred.
“You like that?” he asked, his voice so low and rough that made your toes curl, unable to respond if not with a whimper.
“Yeah, you do,” he murmured, his lips brushing your thigh as his fingers curled deeper, pressed just right, dragging a broken moan from your lips, his own voice dark with approval. "God, you’re so wet."
Your cheeks burned because well, wasn’t he right?!
The evidence of it was everywhere - slicking his fingers, his hand, his face, and the way he said it, so casually, like he was just stating a fact, only made the heat in your belly coil tighter.
"Damn, you’re so fucking good," you gasped between shattered breaths.
“Mm, so is this cunt,” he shot back between licks, groaning as he felt you flutter around his fingers.
What a dirty, dirty mouth. And damn, if he did he put it to use.
It didn’t take long. Barely a few more thrusts of his fingers into your slick, throbbing cunt, barely a few more drags of his tongue against your clit - before he had you unraveling completely.
Your body seized, back arching clean off the bed, a sharp, helpless cry ripping from your throat as you came so hard you almost sobbed.
He didn’t stop.
His fingers kept fucking into you, curling just right, stroking deep, drawing out every last shudder, every last desperate moan. His tongue never left your clit, flicking, sucking, keeping you there, forcing you to take every wave, every aftershock, dragging you through it until your thighs trembled around his head, until you were whimpering, pleading, too overstimulated to handle another second.
Only then did he finally pull away, lips gliding up your body, dragging sticky, open-mouthed kisses along your stomach, your ribs, your breasts, until his weight was pressing you into the mattress again, until you were surrounded by him, the scent of sex thick in the air, his mouth still hot and wet against your skin.
"God, you’re a fucking vision when you come," he murmured, voice husky, lips brushing over your jaw as his hand slid up to cradle your face.
And then he kissed you.
Deep, filthy, his tongue sweeping into your mouth without hesitation, letting you taste yourself on him, letting you feel the slick mess he’d made of you, the evidence of how thoroughly he had devoured you.
Romanticism truly was dead.
“Still too clothed,” you whispered, voice low, teasing, as your fingers trailed from his jaw down to his chest, nails scratching lightly over the fabric of his polo, feeling the heat of him beneath it. Annoyingly in the way.
“You’re very welcome to change that now,” he huffed, smirking, giving you another quick, teasing kiss, the barest brush of his lips over yours.
Who were you to refuse?
Your hands moved swiftly, gripping the hem of his shirt and tugging it up, over his head, before tossing it somewhere behind you - who cared where? That would be his problem in a few hours anyways.
And oh damn-
If you thought the polo highlighted his frame, without it he looked absolutely massive. His chest, his shoulders, the way his muscles shifted beneath his skin - it was almost unfair how goodlooking he was.
You leaned in to kiss him, letting your fingers roam all over him - probably lingering a little too long on those broad, perfect shoulders. Honestly, you were doing your best not to bite them.
Mostly. A little nip didn’t count, right? Surely it was allowed. To test. It wasn’t your fault they looked like they could carry the weight of the world - and you - without breaking a sweat. But of course, he couldn’t know that. He couldn’t know that his shoulders alone were making you go feral.
So you distracted him the best way you knew how - your lips pressing against his neck, soft at first, teasing, before nipping lightly at his pulse point, teeth scraping just enough to earn you a sharp inhale.
Still, even as your lips worked to keep him occupied, your thoughts betrayed you.
You were sure you’d implode the moment you saw his back - the way those muscles would shift and flex. Just the thought of it had your pulse racing. Thankfully, he was still facing you, so you had a little more time to live. But not much, considering the way your mind still found a way to betray you.
Because now all you could picture was his weight on top of you, pressing you into the mattress, pinning you down with no way out. Now all you could feel was the phantom stretch of him, the way he’d fill-
Right. His jeans. Still in the way. Still ruining your life.
You swallowed hard, forcing your hands to move lower, fumbling with his belt and zipper. If your hands trembled, you’d blame it on how hard you were trying not to stare at the thick bulge beneath the denim. Trying being the keyword, because at this point - you weren’t better than a man.
His jeans hit the floor, leaving him in just his boxers, making it quite difficult to ignore the outline of him anymore - thick, hard, already straining against the fabric, the damp spot at the tip teasing at just how ready he was.
Your pulse pounded in your ears as you glanced up, silently asking if you could take things further. He gave a small nod, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded, and that was all the encouragement you needed.
Your hands turned momentarily shy as you hooked your fingers into the band, slowly tugging them down. He sprang free, thick and hard, flushed at the tip, already glistening with slick arousal, and God, you swore your mouth went dry and then wet all in the span of a heartbeat.
You couldn’t stop yourself from murmuring, “God,” as your fingers wrapped around him, thumb brushing over the swollen, leaking head, smearing the wetness there, spreading it over the burning skin.
The reaction was immediate.
His head tipped back, his grip on your hips tightening, trying hard not to just rut into your fist like some desperate, touch-starved needy thing. But he was trembling , his self-control fraying one slow stroke at a time as you worked him over, your fingers squeezing around the slick head before dragging back down his length.
"Fuck," he muttered, the sound wrecking you, shooting straight between your legs.
“You’re so-” you started, but the words failed you. What could you even say? You were too distracted by the weight of him in your hand, the way he twitched against your palm and the way the thick vein along his shaft throbbed with every stroke of your hand.
All you knew was that you wanted him in your mouth. Wanted to drag your tongue along that vein, wanted to feel the heavy weight of him on your tongue, wanted to take him down until tears pricked the corners of your eyes. The need burned in your gut, tight and relentless, but still, it wasn’t enough. Because as much as your mouth ached for him, the fire between your thighs was worse. So much worse.
“Aaron,” you breathed, voice shaking as you looked up at him, your fingers still wrapped around his cock, still stroking him, enjoying the way his chest rose and fell with every movement of your hand.
His eyes - dark, heavy-lidded - met yours, his breath coming uneven, jagged, as he rasped, desperate, "Take whatever you want."
“I want you.”
Aaron groaned, his lips twitching into something that might have been a smile if he wasn’t so wrecked with desire. “Come here,” he murmured, as he leaned down and kissed you. And God, what a kiss.
Before you knew it, he had you back on the bed, his body hovering over yours, his broad shoulders framing your view of him. He settled himself between your legs, his mouth moving to your jaw, then down to your neck, at the point there was no doubt in a few hours you’d wear a turtleneck to work.
Still, he paused, hovering just above you, his lips brushing against yours as he asked one more time, “Are you sure?”
At this point, if you weren’t aching for him, you might’ve had the patience to be sarcastic. Something like, No, actually, I’m not sure. Let’s both get dressed again and see if that helps.
“Aaron, I’m literally begging you,” you said, exasperated, though you didn’t miss the glint in his eyes – if he just wanted you to beg him he could have simply asked. You would have never said it out loud but at least he could have tried…
“Just making sure,” he said so softly his voice seemed even deeper than it already was, but his hand slid between your legs, fingers gliding through your folds, and the way he groaned when he felt how wet you were made you shudder.
“God, you’re soaked,” he muttered, almost to himself, as if confirming what he already knew.
You didn’t think it was possible to be more turned on, but apparently, Aaron Hotchner could always prove you wrong.
And ever the hopeless romantic - because apparently, he was so much of a kisser - he kissed you again. It wasn’t fair, honestly, how good he was at this, how much intention he poured into every press of his lips , every flick of his tongue, every sharp little pull at your bottom lip that had your hips rolling up against him. It was infuriating.
"I’m on the pill," you gasped between kisses, cutting straight to the point because at this rate, you were about two seconds away from losing your mind.
"Good," he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours again. "That’s good."
Of course it’s good, Aaron. As if you were trying to create another insufferable Hotchner. One man who could argue his way out of anything was already more than enough for the world.
He shifted, aligning himself at your entrance, the thick head of his cock pressing against you, dragging through your slick folds with just the slightest roll of his hips. The stretch, even in just the promise of it, had you gasping into his mouth.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he rasped, his forehead pressing against yours, still searching for any sign of hesitation. Classic Aaron.
And because he was Aaron, of course he kissed you again, stealing what little breath you had left as he began to push inside.
Holy fucking-
Your nails dug into his shoulders as he filling you inch by inch, his cock sinking in with a slow, thick glide that made your head tilt back into the pillow, your mouth falling open as sounds escaped your lips - a moan, then a gasp, and a whimper.
When he bottomed out, buried to the hilt, so deep you swore you could feel him in your stomach, you swore you might break, and you loved every second of it. How the hell did he even feel this good?
"Jesus Christ," he gritted out, breath hot against your jaw.
He paused, his cock throbbing inside you as he let you adjust, his lips ghosting over your jawline with kisses so soft they felt almost reverent, as though the slight ache of the stretch was something he needed to apologize for.
“God, you’re so tight.”
You involuntarily clenched down around him in response, "Fucking Christ," he groaned, his forehead dropping to yours for a moment. “You’re going to kill me.”
And fuck, if the second he started moving you weren’t utterly determined to hear every name of every deity from his long-lost religion tumble from his lips, as long as it meant he kept thrusting so deep inside you – making your breath catch from the mere drag of him pulling his entire length out before pushing it back in.
“Fuck Aaron, you feel so good,” you gasped, your hands tightening on his biceps.
And damn him, because he loved it - loved your praise so much that a low chuckle rumbled in his chest, even as his breath came uneven, ragged. “Fuck, you look so beautiful from here,”
He leaned in, his hips still moving, his lips brushing against yours just enough for you to feel the heat of his breath, to taste the promise of his kiss. “You’re perfect,” he whispered, making your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, needing him deeper.
The shift in angle made his next thrust hit you in a way that tore a cry from your lips. He must’ve felt it - the way your body tightened around him, the way your nails sank into the strong muscles of his back, leaving red lines in their wake - because his pace quickened, each thrust better than the last.
And damn it if he didn’t fuck you so good.
“Right there,” you gasped, arching your back as the head of his cock hit that spot “Oh, Aaron-”
“God, I love how you say my name,” he rasped, his forehead dropping to yours as he planted a kiss on your temple between thrusts.
Sweat beaded on his forehead, dampening the dark, thick strands of his hair that clung to his face, his brows furrowed all concentrated, his cheeks flushed, jaw tight, and God, if he wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.
How stupid, how utterly reckless, it was to feel yourself falling for him all over again. And not just falling - but plummeting, freefalling into the abyss of him. Exactly now, exactly like this - when he was buried so deep inside you that it felt like he was carving himself into your soul.
How shallow, how ridiculous, to let your pupils blow wide with hunger, to let your chest ache with something too tender, too raw, while your body burned for him like this.
Because it wasn’t just the way his hips buckled into yours, wasn’t just the rhythm of his thrusts, wasn’t just the stretch and fullness that made you gasp. No, it was the way his name tumbled from your lips like it was the only word you knew, and the way he rasped your name back, hoarse and desperate, like it was his prayer.
The wet slap of his hips meeting yours, the creak of the bed beneath you - it was way too loud for the early hours, you knew that. Too wild, too shameless, probably waking every neighbor you had, giving them the privilege of hearing his name tumble from your lips and yours from his.
But how could you care? How could you even think about anything beyond him, especially when he shifted suddenly, leaning back and lifting your legs over his shoulders?
“Like this,” he muttered, his voice rough and breathless. His hands gripped your thighs, steady, holding you in place as he adjusted himself, his cock driving deeper - God, how was it even possible to feel this full?
His next thrust stole the breath from your lungs, and the one after that made your vision blur, leaving you gripping the sheets, then the bedframe, his arms - anything you could reach.
“I got you,” he rasped, his tone softer now, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was absolutely wrecking you, you might’ve laughed at how he said it. So casual, so reassuring, like he wasn’t currently fucking you out of your mind.
And then, just to make sure you were well and truly destroyed, Aaron leaned down and pressed a kiss to your trembling leg. A kiss. Soft and lingering, like he wasn’t simultaneously driving into you with enough force to make you think about it for days. A true gentleman, really. Absolutely chivalrous.
“Oh, fuck you,” you managed to gasp, your voice shaking as your nails dug into his arms.
He smirked, his hips snapping forward harder, making your back arch off the bed.
“I believe I already am,” he shot back smoothly, and damn him - despite the situation, or maybe because of it - you laughed.
The sound made him pause for a fraction of a second, his brow quirking as his lips twitched into something softer, something that could almost be called tender if he wasn’t currently wrecking you.
He leaned in, clearly intending to kiss you - except you were still laughing, leaving him kissing your teeth instead of your lips.
“You’re ridiculous,” he muttered against your mouth, his voice filled with faux exasperation, as if it weren’t entirely his fault. But the way he looked at you, his eyes soft and sweet despite the hunger blazing behind them, made it clear he wasn’t serious at all.
“I really hate you,” you managed to say, still laughing, the words breathless and shaky.
“Liar,” he countered smoothly, his lips curving into a grin of his own before he kissed you properly this time, slow and deep, stealing the air from your lungs. “You’ve never hated me at all.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but the next thrust silenced you, sending a bolt of pleasure straight to your core, leaving you gasping instead of speaking.
“Yeah,” he rasped, his voice thick, his eyes locked on yours as he watched you fall apart beneath him. “That’s exactly what I thought.”
Bastard. Oh, how he’d pay for this. Just… not now. Not when the heat in your stomach was building too quickly, you could already feel your toes curling, your legs trembling where they rested on his shoulders.
“Aaron-” His name spilled from your lips in a broken cry, your hands clutching at him desperately, your body trembling beneath him.
“I know,” he rasped, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath hot and uneven as it fanned over your lips. “You’re close. I can feel it. Fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight.”
And then, just to destroy you completely, he spat on his fingers. The sound alone sent a shiver through you, but watching him, seeing the way he reached down and slid his slick finger to your clit, circling it, left you utterly wrecked.
That alone was so unfairly hot you were surprised you didn’t come on the spot just from seeing it.
“God,” he groaned, his hips keeping the same rhythm as his fingers worked you over, the combination of his cock driving into you and his fingers basically breaking you apart. “I’m close too. Come for me. I want to feel it - I need to feel you.”
And there was no stopping it. The pressure snapped all at once, a tidal wave of pleasure crashing over you, leaving you shaking and gasping for air. Your body clung to him like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality, your nails digging into his back as your orgasm ripped through you.
“Aaron,” you cried out, his name falling from your lips in a broken, desperate plea as your cunt clenched around him so tightly that it pulled a guttural groan from his chest.
His movements stuttered, his rhythm faltering as he buried himself deep one last time, his head tipping back, lips shaping into your name.
You felt him spill inside you, the hot rush of him filling you, the heat prolonging the throbbing waves of your own climax, as your body convulsed with the lingering echoes of pleasure. It was too much. Too raw. Too perfect. The kind of climax that left you completely destroyed, your mouth falling open as you tried and failed to even catch your breath.
Your limbs felt boneless, your heart was about to burst out of your chest, a haze in your head. Wow.
Aaron’s thrusts slowed, his movements becoming languid as he guided you both through the final waves of pleasure, his hips rocking into you softly.
When he finally stilled, he stayed inside you, his body collapsing onto yours, every muscle undone, spent, his breath hot against your neck. His skin was slick with sweat, his weight pressing you into the mattress, and fuck, you never wanted him to move.
A slow, lazy kiss landed on your shoulder, his lips lingering there for a second before he murmured, "Are you okay?"
Really?
A laugh bubbled up before you could stop it, as your fingers threaded through his beautiful damp hair. “Okay?” you echoed, still struggling to breathe, still feeling the aftershocks of him inside you. “Aaron, I think you might’ve just killed me.”
He huffed out something that could’ve been a laugh if he had the energy, and just because he was perfectly positioned - completely wrecked, head buried against your shoulder, practically melting into you - you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.
It felt almost paternalistic, sure, the kind of kiss that came with the smug satisfaction of having him completely undone over you, like he might fall apart if he even tried to move. The salt of his sweat clung to your lips, a stark contrast to the bitter taste of the tears you’d swallowed earlier. It felt better - so much better.
Aaron sighed against your skin, lips twitching like he wanted to smile but was too exhausted to bother, he pulled out, leaving you wincing at the sudden emptiness.
He sat back on his heels, his gaze dropping to the mess he’d made of you, and for a moment, you swore he looked almost proud. But, of course, because Aaron fucking Hotchner couldn’t let you have five uninterrupted minutes of post-orgasmic bliss without switching into Mr. Practical, he tilted his head and said, “You should probably clean yourself up.”
You blinked at him, deadpan. “Wow. Romance is truly alive and well.”
He grinned just enough to make you want to hit him and kiss him at the same time. “Where do you keep your towels?” he asked.
“Wow,” you muttered, flopping back onto the bed. “Absolutely fantastic. I give you my soul, and in return, you turn into a housekeeper.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple before standing and stretching.
And, of course, because the universe hated you, he looked absurdly good doing it. Broad shoulders, sweat-slicked skin, and the faint red lines your nails had left down his back. God, his back. Huge. Muscular. You really wanted to-
“Dramatic?” you scoffed, snapping yourself out of the borderline feral train of thought. “I just had the best orgasm of my life, and now you’re asking me about towels. What’s next, changing my bedsheets?”
He shot you a look over his shoulder, that infuriating smirk still tugging at his lips. “Best?” he echoed, his tone dripping with mock surprise. “Did I hear you correctly?”
You groaned, “God, you’re unbearable.”
“No, no,” he continued, turning back toward you, his smirk widening into something dangerously close to smug. “Say it again. Best orgasm of your life? Because I recall giving you three - you might need to pluralize that.”
Oh, how cocky he was. You grabbed the nearest pillow and chucked it at him, unfortunately the man also had perfect reflects. “So, where are these towels?”
“In the bathroom,” you muttered, gesturing vaguely in its direction. “Third drawer on the left. Please, by all means, go do your very important post-coital housekeeping.”
He chuckled as he made his way to the bathroom, and you watched him go, biting your lip as your gaze drifted lower. Because of course you looked. How could you not? The way his muscles moved as he walked, the strong lines of his back leading down to that quite flat yet perfectly sculpted-
“Stop staring,” he called over his shoulder without even looking back.
You scowled, sitting up and grabbing the other pillow to hurl at the bathroom doorway. “I wasn’t staring!”
He was no fun.
“You know,” you called after him, unable to help yourself, “it’s a shame you’re so good in bed, because you are the single most annoying person I’ve ever met.”
“Funny,” he shot back from the bathroom, his voice echoing slightly. “You didn’t seem too annoyed about it five minutes ago.”
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Not that you had been even a little annoyed when you woke up right into his arms - despite the fact that you distinctly remembered falling asleep holding him.
“How much time do we have?” you murmured, your words muffled as your head stayed nestled against his chest.
“You’ve got 1 hour... I got half” he chuckled, then continued “I need to head home and get changed.”
But his arms instinctively tightened around you, like he wasn’t quite ready to let you go just yet. Like he could pretend, just for a little longer, that there was still time.
“How amazing would Agent Hotchner be if he just called to say we had the weekend off?” you said, tracing patterns of his flexed bicep tighetened around you.
He chuckled softly, the vibration of it rumbling beneath your cheek. “I doubt Agent Hotchner even has the strength to get up and take his phone from his jacket.”
“Well, since I’m feeling so generous, I could go and hand it to him,” you offered with faux magnanimity, but before you could move, his hand slid to the back of your head, pressing you back into him, while the other hand gripped your waist.
“Stay,” he said too softly for your own good.
You smiled against him. “I could stay longer if we didn’t have to go to work, you know...”
He chuckled again, this time shaking his head in amusement. “Nice try, sweetheart.”
Your head lifted slightly, an eyebrow raised. “Sweetheart?”
And there it was.
Fuck.
Was this the time to tell you? That if he’d been smitten before, now he was utterly undone? That despite making a living solving puzzles, he couldn’t think of a single scenario in which he wasn’t yours?
It was logic, wasn’t it? A proposition is true if it’s reflected in reality.
And this was his truth: he was yours. Irrevocably, undeniably yours.
There wouldn’t be a more evident fact - not until the marks you’d left on his neck and chest faded away. But even then? He would still belong to you.
Damn the stoics for being right.
“Sorry,” he said, as though the endearment had slipped past his guard.
Before he could say more, you tilted your head up and kissed him, catching him completely off guard. His startled expression was so genuine that you couldn’t help yourself - you kissed him again, determined to wipe it off his face.
His lips curled into a smile against yours, and when you finally pulled back true to form, he couldn’t resist deflecting. “If you’re trying to charm me into giving the day off, I’ll save you the trouble - it’s not going to work. Even if you keep kissing me.”
You laughed and leaned up to give him another kiss. But this time, you didn’t stop there. You moved down, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along his jaw. “I just want to make sure you understand the opportunity you’re blowing here,” you murmured into his skin, your lips ghosting over his pulse.
“The reports aren’t going to fill themselves,” he replied, though his voice lacked conviction.
Oh, neither was your cu-
“You sure about that?” you teased, nibbling gently at his collarbone as your hand trailed lower, brushing over where something was definetely starting to grow in between his boxers, making him hiss.
“What’s the matter?” you asked innocently, your hand now resting over his hardening cock, feeling the heat of him through the thin fabric.
“Maybe it’s the fact that you’re devouring my neck at seven in the morning,” he managed.
“Devouring? Not yet.” Your lips descended again, this time grazing over his collarbones, the faint scrape of your teeth dragging along his skin. When you bit lightly at his chest, his sharp inhale was all the reward you needed. “But don’t worry, I plan to.”
His mouth opened like he was about to fire back, but before he could, your hand slipped beneath the waistband of his boxers.
You stroked him slowly, dragging your thumb over the slick head, smearing the precum as if you had all the time in the world. “So,” you started lightly, as he cussed at your touch, “what are you going to do with the hour we have left?”
He tried to respond, he really did.
“I-” His breath hitched when your tongue darted out to trace just above his lower stomach.
“Well?” you pressed, lifting your head to look at him, your grin so sweet it could’ve killed him. “Breakfast? A shower? Or, you know, something else?”
“Breakfast sounds…” He barely managed to get the words out before his voice broke entirely, his body jerking slightly when your tongue flicked out to tease the tip of his cock.
“…like a good idea,” he finished weakly, though you weren’t convinced he even knew what he was saying at this point… better like this anyways.
“Good,” you hummed, dragging wet kisses along his length, while your hand kept moving, stroking him slowly, savoring the way his cock twitched in your hand. “So, Aaron, what do you feel like having for breakfast?”
His head fell back against the pillow, a low groan escaping him as his fingers tangled in your hair. “God,” he rasped, the word dragged out of him so pitifully it was almost tragic.
You grinned against his skin, looking up at him. “I’m pretty sure that’s not in my fridge,” you replied deadpan.
“Sweetheart…” He was absolutely desperate as your kisses moved lower, your tongue tracing a path along the underside of his cock.
“Hmm?” you hummed innocently, as if you didn’t notice the way his grip tightened in your hair or the slight tremble in his thighs.
He didn’t answer - but his phone did instead.
The sharp buzzing from the pocket of his discarded jacket in the living room shattered the moment.
Both of you jerked back, adrenaline ripping through the haze, already halfway off the bed before you even thought about it.
It was clumsy, both of you scrambling, bumping into each other as you stumbled toward the sound, breathless for entirely different reasons now.
Aaron got to it first, answering with the efficiency of a man who had switched back to work mode in an instant.
The call clicked on, and a voice - male, urgent - filled the room. "…The two bodies. The man died from a gunshot to the head, though he was stabbed multiple times post-mortem. The woman died from stab wounds."
You stilled.
Aaron’s face hardened. Rocher’s victims.
The ones he had been taunting you with.
"Agent Hotchner, there’s one thing…" the agent on the other end hesitated.
Aaron’s eyes sharpened. "What?"
"These bodies were killed exactly fifteen days ago," he said.
Aaron froze, you felt it at the same time he did - fifteen days ago.
You and Aaron had been interrogating Rocher exactly fifteen days ago.
He hadn’t killed them himself. He couldn’t have.
You were both there.
Your eyes met his, and for a split second, neither of you spoke.
“He had a partner,” Aaron said, his arm sliding around you instinctively, pulling you closer before you even realized you were starting to breathe too fast.
“Did you manage to identify the victims?” he asked.
“Yes - the man’s name is Michael Fowler, 34, a lawyer, junior associate at Madison & Green. The woman is Renee Hudson, 22, student at Columbia University, enrolled in the faculty of…”
You didn’t even know why you tensed so much.
The answer was obvious before he even said it.
“…philosophy.”
The call ended, but the silence left behind was louder than the voice on the line had been.
And in that silence, you could hear everything - the inevitability of it, tangled with the sound of the tears slipping down both of your faces.
And when your gaze flicked to Aaron, when his arm instinctively pulled you closer, you knew - without a word, without a glance – you’ve been both staring at the exact same spot on the wall.
Because it wasn’t just the age gap.
It wasn’t just the coincidence of numbers.
It was what made it undeniable.
A lawyer.
And a philosopher.
And the way your broken voices found each other in the quiet, harmonizing each other’s names in perfect, unintentional sync, just a few rushed heartbeats later.
Almost like in the musicals.
Almost sweet.
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taglist: @beata1108 ; @c-losur3 ; @fangirlunknown ; @hayleym1234 ; @justyourusualash ; @khxna ; @kyrathekiller ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mxblobby ; @oxforce ; @percysley ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softestqueeen ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24
I sincerely apologize - but the cockblocking was absolutely necessary. Otherwise, they'd never keep their hands to themselves. Honestly, with a job like this, interruptions are basically a given. If I had a nickel for every time these two got cockblocked by a phone call, I’d have two nickels - which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happeend twice.
Ahem... so, uh, let me know what you think... of this. All of this. I need your feedback because I am currently gnawing at the edges of my enclosure
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simblrcc-site · 2 months ago
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Dead Site Repository News! (Pt.1)
A lot has happened over the past few weeks for the dead site repository, and primarily thanks to @sweetdevil-sims, @bioniczombie, @kevinvoncrastenburg and of course anyone else whose contributed an item here and there for their contribution!
As always, if you have any stuff to add, feel free to! The more, the better! Read more about it here .
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Oh boy do we have a lot of items for the sims 3, this time lol. So trust me, this list is long!
Kurasoberina
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While Kurasoberina's tumblr is still around, she has been inactive for a long while and seemingly a lot of her CC has gone missing.
While Kurasoberina's Primer skin is technically still up for download, because of that reliability, we decided it might be best to back it up too, just in case!
Thanks to @sweetdevil-sims and @virtual-hugs, we now have Kurasoberina's Kristen stewart CC, Aaliyah Dana Haughton and Jessica Jones up for grabs again!
Lilisims
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While her sims 3 content isn't as impressive as her sims 2 CC over the years, Lilisims made some cool stuff that still to this day is worth grabbing!
Lilisims's accessories library and Lilisims bath towels, being a must-have for storytellers, are my absolute favourite, thanks to @sweetdevil-sims for putting them all together!
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While technically not under the right tag, I did go ahead and reupload all of Lilisims' Sims 2 CC as well! So if you play the sims 2 and are missing some of her stuff, totally get them! (like the slippers! :D)
Bloombase
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While this repository has been around for a long while, it initially only had Bloombase's sexy feet in it.
Of course, while it was Bloombase's most popular download, they made some other cool stuff that we can finally re-experience again!
Buhudain
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I must admit, I had no idea Buhudain had these super cool droplet/water drop replacement for the sims 3! Either way, thanks to @kevinvoncrastenburg this repository is looking a bit more complete than it initially did! 😉
Gelina
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I'm so happy to see Gelina's repository got a bit of love! Gelina's modular planter boxes were my to-go CC when Gelina's tumblr was still around.
Thanks to @sweetdevil-sims they're back and able for download again! As well as some other goodies! 😉
Modish Kitten
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Modish Kitten had a lot of super cool, revolutionary CC pieces from back in the days. While a lot of it is very 2013-core (if that's even a thing lol), a lot of her stuff is still totally relevant to this day :)
Thanks again to Sweet-devil, we not got a lot of Modish Kitten's head scarfs and Hairs back! Also my personal favourite: Moddish Kitten's socks collection
Tifa
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I mean, who didn't have any of her CC back in the days??! Thanks to @sweetdevil-sims we easily recovered 90% of all their TS3 content!
She even went through the trouble of disabling stuff for random!
Tifa had, without a doubt, a lot of storytelling content, such as Tears and Scars. Wrinkles Eyebags Pimples... Honestly anything really you can think of!
Not only that, but anything you need makeup-wise was also Tifa's expertise and definitely worth a check!
SimSimi
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Thanks to @sideshow-snob, simsimi's repository finally got some love it deserves! Back then, I can't remember a moment I wouldn't see their stuff used on sims! Without a doubt Simsimi made a huge mark on the CC 'market' (for a lack of a better word lol)
Simsimi made some super cool modeling poses, but Simsimi also did a lot of makeup, clothing and hairs
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hermetiqa · 11 months ago
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What will your future spouse's friends think of you?
Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.
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Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.
PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST
NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to improve as a reader.
PILE 1
Hello, Pile 1! I'm seeing that your future spouse's friends will think of you as someone who's very hardworking and career-oriented. I can see that you have some strong masculine energy here. You could have fire and air signs in your chart, I'm hearing Aries, Leo, and Libra mostly. I can also see that they'll think of you as someone who's very changed your future spouse. It's like your future spouse is someone who likes to play games and never ever became serious in relationships, but that changed because of you. And because of this, your future spouse's friends are scared that you might be the one playing the game now (this is when you're still dating/in a relationship, basically not yet married). They'll think of you as someone who's untrustworthy, it's like they can never trust you with something because you might snitch on them or betray them in some way. Basically, I don't see that they'll like you much at first. Despite their admiration for your great qualities especially when it comes to your independence and goals in life, they're scared that you might hurt your future spouse (when you're still dating) and not hesitate to leave them anytime when it's not working out, and they know that your future spouse will never get over you because again, this will be the first time that they'll get serious in a relationship. But after a while and when you're married, your future spouse's friends will eventually warm up to you and like you, and they'll start to be friends with you and realize that they're wrong about you all along.
PILE 2
Hello, Pile 2! So I'm seeing that your future spouse's friends will think of you as someone who's very has good judgement in almost everything. You know how to see things in different perspectives at the same time, you're almost never biased in anything even in difficult situations. I can see that you have the tendency to make difficult situations often, but you still make the right decision most of the time (if not all). They have a lot of admiration for you and they look up to you. They see you as a great person, even a role model for the younger ones. They'll think you have a lot of good things in the future with your future spouse. You'll have a wonderful future ahead of you together. There might be times that you need some time alone, but you still manage to socialize. Your future spouse's friends will see you as someone who's very friendly and charming. You charm a lot of people. You're also very smart for them and you know a lot of things. You have a wide knowledge when it comes to information, especially social issues and/or anything related to business. I feel like some of your future spouse's friends will even come to you for some advice because they see you as a really matured person who can handle everything. They look up to you and they think you're such a lover person. It's like you care for everyone and you take good care of everyone as much as you can, especially the ones who need it. 01:10 on the clock. Do I need to say more? They'll like you sooo much. I'm happy for you, Pile 2!
PILE 3
Hello, Pile 3! I feel like your future spouse's friends will think of you as someone who's very competitive and likes to argue about anything. You're quite stubborn in their eyes and they don't want to be in a conflict with you ever. They know they'll never win against you and you'll defend yourself and stand on your stance at all times. You always find your way around things and despite their admiration for this trait of yours, they also get annoyed by it. It's quite too much for them because it reaches to the point that you upset or hurt them without realizing it, whether intentionally or unintentionally, though it's mostly the latter part. You're good at communicating but you reallh have the tendency to be stubborn. If something doesn't make sense to you, you want them to make it make sense. Otherwise, you'll set it aside and forget about it later. You have this trait that you want honesty and the truth all the time. You want justice for everything. If someone does you dirty, you'll make sure that they'll pay. And your future spouse's friends see and know that, which is why they do their best not to upset you in any way. They don't want to be in a conflict with you because you have the tendency to be in a conflict with people and this is something you're not scared of. Your future spouse's friends also see you as someone witty but at the same time, has the tendency to be impulsive most of the time. You tend to let your emotions lead and control you, not the other way around. Your future spouse's friends like you, but not on a deeper level.
It's feels so good to be back! I haven't done any readings for a while because I got reallyyyy busy. But anyway, I hope this reading helps! If you like it, feel free to check my paid readings.
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sysig · 2 years ago
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Betty’s Wish (1/?) (Patreon)
It’s definitely weird that Betty, with all her Magical abilities, never met a Wishmaster, right? I think so
[First | Prev | Next]
#My art#Comic#Adventure Time#Prismo#Betty Grof#Oh this is much bigger than I'm used to lol - feel free to open in a new tab#My big project! Here it is! :D Or at least the first piece of it lol#I worked on quite a lot of it through Requestober - or at least the digital cleans lol#If you'll recall my ''This has gotten way out of hand'' posts about Winter and the like - yeah it was actually this lol#And that was just the roughs! This became my warmup project for the remainder of RQTR 2023 lol#It definitely worked! All the way around! I got lots of panels done in short order and got my warmups in for the day#These are mostly drawn right on top of my original sketches - other than adding Betty's kerchief#I would've gone over her hair to make her more on-model but hrnnghhh hair fun to drawww#This is my happy medium compromise lol#Prismo was also a treat to work on ♪ He's vectors as you can probably tell :)#And I still looooove working with vectors ahhhhhh <3 <3 They're so fun to manipulate and move around#I can change his expressions so quickly! Very enjoyable to work with :D#Hehe ♪ He's also not confined to the panels the same way Betty is :)#Anyhow! I have Several more of these planned but for now I'm just happy I finally have this one :D#For reference this is set before the end of Adventure Time - obvs since Betty looks like this - but also kinda not lol#Y'know how it is with time and paradoxes and stuff :)#Even Prismo knows ♪ He probably knows best of all actually hehehe
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croquettish · 1 month ago
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I'm curious, wdym Hans always fall in love even when we dont romance him? I love your metas so much 🩷 or maybe it was already post about it and I didnt find it. I've got so many questions to ask you coz my autistic ass often dont catch non verbal emotional expressions so you post clarify me things I don't undestand 🥺 Love you 💕
You sending me this made me realize that neither I nor anyone else (that I'm aware of) has actually gone into detail on all of this! So thank you for that!!
I want you to consider Hans' behavior throughout the games. Regardless of whether you read him as bisexual or a comphet gay man, we are dealing with a queer man who has no idea that he's queer. He's grown up sheltered and in many ways unloved. He hasn't seen any models of what love should look like in real life and only knows to interpret the world through what he's learned and read in history and literature. We know this not only because he makes it painfully obvious to anyone with eyes who sees him interacting with Henry, but also because the option to romance him exists at all. The queerness is there, it just has to be coaxed out with the promise of safety.
We also know that Henry is devilishly easy to fall in love with. See here: everyone keeps falling in love with him. And, as we've previously discussed, there is a good reason for why Hans falls in love with Henry to begin with.
Hans is already sweet on Henry and checking him out in that hot tub in KCD1 (reminder that they are canonically naked here) or at the very least finds him attractive:
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In other words, Hans just needed to be given a nudge in the right direction. And Henry absolutely gives him more than a few nudges. Like, Henry. You can't just say shit like this and not expect Hans' knees to buckle:
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And, as we know, Henry can compliment Hans in Italian even without the romantic context, and Hans loves it even if Henry butchers it, which none of the other love interest appreciate!
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Accordingly, we see Hans' slow descent into madness... for the purposes of this meta, I deliberately ignored any and all romance scenes and instead focused on the hints we get outside of that that exist regardless of whether or not you romance him.
The list that follows is meant to serve as individual pieces of evidence that prove that Hans is in love with Henry / falls in love with Henry over the course of KCD2:
Hans is incredibly jealous. The first time this crops up is at the dinner at Trosky:
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And then, famously, with Sam:
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This, of course, including the conversation we can overhear several times between the two of them. And then later on, if you callously leave Sam behind and he dies, we can get confirmation from Hans!
2. He tries so hard to make Henry jealous:
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THIS GIRL DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!! Not only based on this clownery on Hans' part, but also because there is no woman named Karolina in Bohunowitz to begin with.
3. He repeatedly sings Henry's praises to his face:
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4. He pays close attention to Henry's state of mind and then acts on that information because he wants to see Henry happy:
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5. Hans loves to cut himself off when he notices that he's getting a bit too intimate and panics:
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6. Hans outrightly admits that he wants Henry to stay home at Suchdol where it's safe instead of going to meet Erik:
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7. And as soon as he hears Henry volunteering for the suicide mission, he volunteers as well:
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8. He's heartbroken when Godwin implies that they're going off to die. Not just that, he wavers on what he's saying at all, something that generally doesn't happen with him. He usually just says what he's going to say, he doesn't have stray ellipses showing up out of nowhere like he does here:
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9. He'll take on tasks for Henry that no one else will while putting him into the position of a noble.
10. He turns to Henry when he's panicking about the wedding.
11. He is desperate to be worthy of Henry and doesn't think himself worthy at all to begin with (as evidenced by him instigating the divorce arc to begin with).
12. The claustrophobia meta is still applicable even if you're not romancing him. He still has to come to terms with his feelings for Henry, and still comes out on the other side having come to terms with it successfully.
And speaking of, then there's this whole speech:
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Not just the prayer (tho jesus christ @ that) but also the bit about the tunnels. Thank Christ for tunnels because they saved Henry?? Taking the claustrophobia : homophobia parallel into account??
13. We still find the buck's blood potion and gay poetry book under his bed at the Devil's Den. (Which you could argue, as per my tags here, was possibly written by him)
14. He could still be argued to be panicking about Godwin discovering his feelings.
15. He still tries to keep the news of the engagement from Henry.
16. He thinks of them as a unit at all times, even while divorced. And this is a running theme for them! He always wants to be by Henry's side and anticipates this being the case of the foreseeable future, like when he talks about how he wants to see the holy land with Henry.
Or when he talks about how he anticipates Henry not only living at his castle, but doing so as castellan (a very prestigious fucking position!). Additionally, he would add a forge just for Henry (recall, again, that Hans' love language is gift giving!):
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This similarly crops up right before they're set to torture the guy at Trosky:
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He even brings this up to Henry!
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There was also a lovely post that I came across a few days ago about how characters act when they're in love but terrified of it. (Many of these don't apply to Hans as far as we know in the game's canon, but that's because they literally can't—the list is meant as a reference for writers and thus is somewhat limited in the scope of its application. This isn't prose and we're not in Hans' head. But I think if you look over the list you'll find that there's a lot of overlap here.) And knowing the risk involved in a confession, it makes sense that Hans would be reluctant.
Finally, I wrote up a whole post about how Hans falls in love with Henry (and when!) that might be of interest to you here as well!!
Thank you so much also for your kind words 🥺 I should say that my evidence for things is almost never rooted in facial expressions, in part because (outside of cutscenes) we can't rely on them. There are a handful of gestures and expressions baked into the game by default. Like the beloved pointing gesture that our dear John is so fond of. It's why I always use dialogue as evidence. You can rely on tone of voice a bit more because our boys act with intent, but even that is something you can read into. Dialogue is concrete and hard to argue with. Even if it's "hey let's overanalyze this ellipsis." At any rate, I hope this proves helpful/insightful!!
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the-original-gb-bracket · 4 months ago
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Round 0
@fluttershywheresheshouldntbe
“Okay so full confession I run the blog, and I strive to make the edits funny, fit thematically with the situations, and be creative. At its peak I was spending upwards of 2-3 hours putting her in places, matching lighting, cutting out elements to be in front of her. I even did a full month of horror edits for October. The blog is my baby and I'm so happy with how it's gone”
“The icon, the legend, if you’ve not seen a post from this blog, you’ve not lived. It’s art, it’s drama, it’s prestige, it’s different, it’s cozy, it’s new, it’s old, it is all encompassing. Fluttershy where she shouldn’t be. - run by Mike (@/tubapun) who is very cool - it’s a silly little fun blog that makes people laugh”
“the fluttershy in question is a hand-sculpted & hand-painted model. she ends up in a lot of wacky places.”
@pokemontheywouldhave
“I love love looove this blog!!!”
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moonstruckme · 2 months ago
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Hello, lovely moons. I have to say I am completely enamoured by your work (and have to admit I spend an ungodly amount of time reading most if not all of your marauders drabbles into one of my insomniac episodes at dawn).
Your capacity of writing the simplest mundane daily life situations with our dear boys brings me an incredible amount of joy. Thank you for your hard work!
I saw your requests are open, so, if it wouldn't be a bother, would you mind writing something for Sirius Black? I was hoping for an type of reverse comfort with gn reader (girlfriend or not) due to his asthma, (Canon or not, some of the fandom believe it for interesting reasons giving his birth conditions). – Considering I imagine him being an tight person when it comes to accept comfort or any kind of help.
Is my sneaky way to have someone else suffering from breathing little issues with me, giggles.
Anything else is totally up to you, I'm not very picky.
I hope this reaches you in a great manner, and that is the right way to ask for a request from you. Wishing you a great day, and very warm hugs from Brazil.
/I apologize for any mistakes in my grammar, English is not my first language.
– 🇧🇷🌼
Hi angel! Thank you for reading, for being so kind, and for requesting <3
cw: depictions of asthma, Sirius' mentality on this is based on someone I knew with asthma who I don't think was correct but anyway Sirius is almost never a model of good behavior so don't just listen to him do research lol
Sirius Black x gn!reader ♡ 1k words
“Sirius.” You come in from the kitchen to lean over Sirius’ hunched form, your hand on his back, and you sound afraid. Sirius hates that you do, even worse because it’s his fault. He can only respond in short sentences through the burn of his lungs. 
“It’s okay,” he manages. Wheezing a bit. Surely mortifyingly red-faced. “It’s okay. Relax.” 
“Sirius. Just use your inhaler.” 
“I’m okay,” he insists. It’s not easy, refusing you when you’re so obviously distressed—Sirius doesn’t think he can probably hold out much longer, with his instincts and his body and also you begging him to give in—but he really doesn’t want to use his inhaler tonight. This is a minor attack. Sirius has had worse, far worse, and he wants to be able to handle ones like this without medication. 
He knows you’re worried, but what you don’t know is that your touch works like a balm. Your hand on his back soothes him, and your breath on his neck warms him all the way through, and the gravity of your presence—because you keep leaning closer to him, like you don’t know you’re doing it, like you can’t help it, you’re nearly curled over him at this point—eases the tension in his muscles. 
Maybe it’s the strain in his voice, but you stop arguing with him. “Okay,” you say, softly. Sirius would sigh if he could. A ridiculously happy sigh, at the feel of your hand moving up his back. You leave a path of bliss behind your touch. “Okay, sit up, baby. Do you still want tea?” 
Sirius nods, turning around to reach for it. You pass the cup to him handle-out—no doubt scalding your fingers, which Sirius would scold you for if he had the air—before moving around your bed to sit in front of him. You cross your legs to mirror Sirius. He lifts the cup under his face and inhales. 
The steam helps. So will the ginger tea, when he drinks it, allegedly. It’s something James read once, and now James always stocks ginger in case Sirius needs it, though it’s never occurred to Sirius to try it before. Usually, he just rides these attacks out as best he can. You weren’t a fan of that idea. 
You watch him breathe in with a sweet little dimple between your brows. Sirius can’t decide if he’s more upset or endeared that you’re so worried about him. He’d tease you for it, if he had the air. (To scold or to tease, that is the question. He’d like to make that joke, too. You’d think he was hilarious.)
There’s guilt in that divot as well, which Sirius absolutely will scold you for when he has the air. You think this is your fault. As if Sirius was anything less than a gleefully willing participant in your little game of cat-and-mouse, where you’d teased him and he’d chased you around the apartment for it, making descriptive and increasingly lascivious threats, until you allowed yourself to be caught and he’d wrestled you to the ground, wheezing victoriously. 
Sort of embarrassing for Sirius, honestly. He doesn’t think of himself as that out of shape, but ten minutes of running around your apartment had been enough to do him in. 
He takes a tiny sip of his tea. It burns approximately half the tastebuds off his tongue, still too hot, and so he lowers it to kiss the divot between your brows instead. You make a low, fretful noise, putting your forehead to his. 
Sirius lets the steam from his tea waft up to both of you, and he breathes. 
“You’re okay,” you murmur. “How do you feel, sweetheart? Is this helping?” 
Sirius isn’t sure which this you mean, but—yes. All of it. Though, quite honestly, he’d pretend to be dying to hear you call him sweetheart again. 
You slip a hand beneath his hair to cup the back of his neck, thumb stroking up and down. “Blink twice for help,” you say teasingly. 
That pulls a laugh from him, breathy though it may be. Sirius tilts his head to squint his eyes at you menacingly. 
You look so contrite he has to take it back, kissing you suddenly enough that you laugh, too, the sound sweet and ringing with surprise. 
“It’s helping,” he promises. 
You exhale, slumping against him a tiny bit as your thumb moves up and down on his neck. “You still sound awful.” 
“It’ll—get better.” It doesn’t really underscore his point that he can’t talk without seeming like he’s gasping for air. “It takes a while, but it—it always goes—” 
“Sweetheart.” 
“—away.” 
“Stop it.” You press your forehead to his, holding him to you. “Please stop torturing yourself. Where’s your inhaler?” 
It’s the combination of the sweetheart and your heartbroken tone that does him in. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out, not where you’re involved. He points you to the side pocket of his bag. 
“Thank you.” You practically spring up to get it. Kiss Sirius on the head when you bring it back, shaking it for him. “Thanks, baby.” 
You cradle his jaw in your hand, and obviously Sirius could do this part himself, but he doesn’t feel the need to tell you that when you bring the inhaler to his lips, relief melting your eyes to liquid. You count so he knows when to breathe in. 
Sirius’ breathing doesn’t get better instantly, but he feels entirely healed when you press your lips to his right after. 
“Good. Thank you.” You nudge your nose against his. “Now it’ll get better.” 
He shushes you, taking his turn to hold you close with his hand on your waist. “I’m fine. I wasn’t—dying.” 
“You sound like you’re dying.” 
“You fixed me.” You pull your face back an inch to give him a humorless look. Sirius’ grin is halfway to sheepish. “I wasn’t dying. You don’t need to—worry so much, I—”
“Okay, shh.” This kiss is gentler, mollifying. “I get it, you can endure anything. Just breathe, okay? I’ve got you.” 
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meanbossart · 3 months ago
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Ask compilation: Art & advice! Reference use, light, facial expressions and sketching.
Replying to a few miscellaneous comments & questions about my process, with a giggle thrown between every other question for good measure!
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Hey! Sorry, I just post them as they are 😅 Can't say I've ever had any issues regardless of size.
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That is HYSTERICAL and honestly with the amount of "I don't play bg3 but I follow you anyway" messages that I get, I hope I'm not accidentally giving people the wrong idea 😂
Thank you so much for the kind message!
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Anything, really! I use Virtamate whenever I'm really struggling with perspective or an angle, or sometimes something as simple as stock images from google (especially for furniture and interiors) I do also use myself as reference a lot, particularly for hands. Admittedly you do get to a point where you need reference less and less, and can pull poses and anatomy out of imagination pretty easily but you never completely cut it out of art. Reference is a tool just like paper and brushes are, not a crutch.
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For angles/perspective and poses (to a degree), yes! Absolutely. It is a wonderful tool that has paid its cost over a million times for me, personally.
I do NOT suggest referencing off its anatomy, however! If you already have a good grasp of how real bodies move, sure, you can use it without issue and just "fix" the anatomy as you draw, but virtamate's models, while more malleable than most 3d figures, still suffer from the usual limitations of it's medium. Musculature and fat in particular do not operate very well alongside said model's movements and don't look very accurate to life.
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I will not rest until I have normalized toes.
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Thank you so much!
Unfortunately, that is something I genuinely don't use reference for - well, kind of! I pretty much walk through the world making a mental note of how things look and how I would translate that visual onto (digital) paper if I had to. And I think I do that the most with light and shadow.
Light application largely comes from from understanding 3 things:
-Dimensions/planes. -How different materials reflect/absorb said light. -✨DRAMA✨
I suggest studying art from monochrome artists and comic illustrators and seeing how they manage to create the illusion of multidimensionality with a very limited palette. Drawing a lot of figures with only black and white also helps - that was pretty much my entire comic career prior and probably what I am to thank for my current understanding of light placement.
Watching and studying movies and shows that make use of colorful, dramatic lighting also helps a lot - Nicolas Winding Refn has honestly taught me so much just by watching his flicks!
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Thank you! I have indeed been trying a couple of different things and I'm glad that you noticed it and that you enjoy it!
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Thank you! I'm happy to say I plan on drawing much more of her as well 😇 at least as soon as I recover from the last comic!
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Hello, happy to have inspired you even a little bit to get back on the horse!
I think referencing from yourself/real pictures of people's faces is always best, even if your style is pretty cartoony or simplified. That way you can actually take note of how facial muscles work and apply that understanding to your art when you create expressions from memory. Start detailed and then work your way down, removing elements until you are happy with the results!
Paying attention to moving faces when you see/interact with people is also useful. I often say this, but just looking at the world through the lens of an artist can be immensely helpful - taking mental notes of small details and later applying them to what you do, that sort of thing!
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I first type them down in (usually) Times Roman and then trace it for that pencil-ed in look!
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Hello, hope you are well yourself!
I have this post here that might help you a little visually, but I guess you are more curious about the inbetween stages of that first draft and the final art. I think a lot of it is muscle memory! I can move onto lineart pretty reliably after 1 or 2 sketches for most things, occasionally I will need 3 (not counting when I just change something entirely - that obviously requires the process to start over again for that element) but that hasn't always been the case!
However many sketches you want to do is however many you need, and depending on your art style and process that can vary wildly. Just try not to boggle yourself down with perfectionism - I'm sure you've noticed by now that, sometimes, when you draw something over and over again trying to get it "right" you end up sucking the life out of it. It can actually good to turn your brain off a little bit and TRY to line in the details on the fly, not only will you build confidence over-time but you may arrive at some really fluid shapes and movements as a result!
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yuri-is-online · 11 months ago
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I'm curious about the first years' reaction to why can't I be your spouse.
I think it'd be hilarious
part one/part 2
A ha yes, hilarious. I am so sorry.
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"Why couldn't I be your spouse?"
Ace is struck mute. The blush starts at the tips of his ears, spreads across his face, and down across his neck. Because you don't want him. That's the reason right? He's your best friend. You're his. That's your dynamic. It keeps you both safe from any complications or unnecessary feelings but god if you're just going to look up at him and bat your eyes trying to hold back tears at the thought of not being his? "Jeez, we're still in school you know? Ask again later." You won't get a chance to do that, Ace wants to be the one to ask. You deserve that much from him with how much he teases you, or so he says.
There are two ways I can see this question going with Deuce. He's oblivious to the nature of his own feelings: "Because you are meant to get married to someone you love?" He's overwhelmed with distress when you start to cry at his words, but he doesn't understand the source of the pain. Love is a heavy word, and sure he does love you, your best buds! But marriage is extremely serious and sure he's had dreams about you guys living together and stuff like that but he's sure that's just a friendship thing. Not that he ever dreams about doing that with Ace...
If he does know he's in love with you that little question will make Deuce start panicking because of how expensive weddings are. He will be very happy for you to be his spouse, just give him some time please <3
"Because you're not staying." Jack has accepted you are the one he's been waiting for, but he's never verbalized it until now. He's a bit disappointed if he's honest, not with who you are but with the circumstances under which you've met. He modeled his dreams of what his spouse would be like off of his parents and grandparents, he would love you and you would love him. You would be together forever and build a little life together. But you are from a different world and will have to go home some day, he doesn't get to keep you and he doesn't have the option of getting over you. His only option is to deny that he wants you as his spouse until his soul prevents him from doing it anymore, no matter how happy hearing you ask to be his make him feel.
Epel is happy to hear you say that, but it's a bittersweet happiness. Epel wants you to be saying that because you think he's cool. Because you think of him as a manly man who you can rely on to provide for you and keep you safe from all of the monsters you've faced so far. But he knows you pretty well at this point, he doesn't think that you rely on him because you think he's cool. Maybe that's a goods thing though, you've never been judgemental of who he is even if the words you use to describe him aren't the exact ones he wants just yet. That doesn't mean "spouse" isn't how he wants to describe you, and he's not shy of letting you know that. Just this once.
Sebek doesn't answer at first. He doesn't yell either, nor does there appear to be a gathering storm on his face. He looks despondent, not the look you would want on the face of someone when you start talking about getting married. "Because I have treated you in a truly abominable manner most unfitting of my rank based on a prejudiced view of your character." Anyone who looks at him can see that he's in love, that he has no objection to you being his spouse. But he can't have that, he's unworthy. Not that you wants you to take this personally, he is used to being inadequate. Just let him savor the happiness he felt from hearing you say you wanted to be his in the first place. It is more than he deserves for how cruel he has been to you.
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moriitis · 7 months ago
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Hey! Happy holidays, moriitis!
This is an unusual curiosity, but... What do you think about Toby being a father?
I feel like he wouldn't like having a child, or maybe he would, I don't know... do you think he would be a good father? (Let's suppose that hypothetically you have a daughter)
Have a nice Christmas, I love you! 💗
Father!Toby Rogers HeadCanons. Fem!Reader.
FIRST, I wanna say how fucking weird it was reading this ask at 5 am because I shit you not, before I went to sleep THIS VERY THOUGHT crossed my mind and I told myself I was gonna write this today. GET OUT OF MY HEAD. No, on a real note, glad we are on the same wave length. I LOVE THIS and thank you for requesting it! Have the most happiest of holidays yourself! <3 AND NO I LOVE YOU.
Content/Warnings; abortion, mentions of miscarriages, blood, birth, children, babies.
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If you had asked him what he did on a specific Wednesday two weeks ago, he'd have no idea. That was one of the downsides to being a proxy; the memory loss and foggy mind. But fuck, did he remember the morning you told him you were pregnant. His heart fell through his ass, his skin colour turning fifty shades paler than usual.
Admittedly, his first reaction was to laugh. He'd snort in your face and narrow his eyes suspiciously toward you.
"Weird fucking thing to say."
Would be one of the first things he would say. Because you pranked him so often that he simply didn't believe you and it was such a weird fucking thing to say? What a weird prank?
But when you didn't laugh, his lips pursed nervously and he shifted from one foot to the other. The silence was louder than anything as you both stared at each other. The seriousness on your face, this was going too far.
"You're on birth control... right?"
And before he knew it, you were tearing up and right there and then he wanted a hole to swallow him up and eat him. This was bad, no, worse than bad; this was really fucking serious.
Slender would fucking kill him, he'd kill him first and then kill you. This wasn't supposed to happen, shit, he shouldn't have been fucking with you in the first place and now you were fucking pregnant?!
He wanted to panic, he wanted to dart out the door and leave forever but he was tied to Slender. Not just as a proxy, but a slave; a mere worker.
It was the look on your face too, he couldn't leave you? What kind of man were he? Not that he had a particularly good role model for what being a man was like
God forbid he turned into that man.
"Okay."
He would start -
"Okay, okay, ooookay."
He was reassuring himself more than he were reassuring you and his hands reached out to grip firmly on your shoulders. This didn't have to happen, he could.. well, you could fall down some stairs or better yet, drink some alcohol? That'll get rid of a baby, right?
Those thoughts, those dirty, putrid thoughts. What was he thinking? He was disgusted in himself but he couldn't help it, he was panicking.
He couldn't be a father, he was not made to be a father. What if he turned into him? What if he were to.. god forbid it, lay his hands on the babe? He was a dangerous individual, why should the softness of a baby stop him?
Perhaps it was because it were.. his baby. A life growing inside of... you.
"I can't do it."
He admitted.
"I am not fit to be- I CANNOT be- Our life- What we do- No, no, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I love you but-"
He was rambling. He was afraid, he couldn't bare to look at you because what if he were to suddenly lay a hand on you?
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Sitting down with Toby and talking to him was the best option. To clear your minds, to form a plan - to figure out what to do and whether you both wanted this baby.
Toby was honest, so brutally honest that frankly it made you burst into tears.
"It's not that I don't want it- it's that I-.. I can't."
His words hurt so much but he promised he'd be there to help you each step of the way. Fuck, he'd even get Jack in an attempt to try and help with the termination.
But word travelled fast and it sure travelled quick.
Slender's rage was not shouting or screaming; it was the eerie silence or disappointing faceless stare he would give you. It was the nausea that followed, the anxiety that riddled itself in your blood stream.
And just like that, Toby's whole life was gone. You had just.. simply disappeared. And it killed him, the unknowing of what happened to you. It killed him to think that he could've possibly killed you.
But you were not dead. Slender had come to an... agreement.
You were to stay a proxy but you were to terminate the child and with that, he sent you on the other side of the forest. In a cabin, alone and to deal with your emotions.
Jack had came to aid you with the termination.
But something inside of you told you that.. you wanted this child. That perhaps this child was a chance of hope, of normality. That maybe you could escape.
And you hated to bare such a burden on a child that was not yet born.
It took a lot of convincing from Jack, a lot of persuasion to keep the baby and to do regular visits to ensure it was growing healthy. You were to birth the baby alone, for Jack couldn't risk getting caught. But he taught you well, how to handle it and of course gave you lots of books.
It was risky, going against Slender. He would know something was up, especially since you had not come back as quickly as he had expected.
So Jack lied for you, he hated it but did it nevertheless. What was he going to lose?
He told Slender you were in a coma and that he needed to do regular checks to ensure you were alive.
Slender wouldn't know, fuck, Slender wasn't human - so the lie worked perfectly.
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The pregnancy was rough. Unwelcoming. You vomited everything up, you were unable to gather firewood due to the fatigue - so on most nights you would be freezing alone.
A part of you didn't expect the baby to survive. That you would miscarriage.
But weeks slogged into months and you were bursting.
And you had to do this alone.
You didn't count how long you were in labour for, but it felt like for days.
So much blood, that something was wrong and you just knew it.
But you pushed through, with each book Jack had given you being an aid.
The baby was born during the night.
And she did not cry. Nor weep, nor whine.
Your heart dropped.
You were slumped on the cabin floor, blood pooling around your thighs and knees as you doubled over. There, on the towels beneath you, were the child. Pale, small.
If it weren't for the shock, you would've moved instantly. But you couldn't. All you could do was watch in disbelief, your head glazed in sweat.
But motherly instincts kicked in quick.
And you reached for the scissors, cutting the cord and making haste to save your daughters life.
Your daughter. A girl. You had no idea what the gender were but it were evident as you helplessly rubbed the babes back, hoping to clear some airways to hear that cry.
Relief washed over you, a cry that would've seen irritating for some; music to your ears.
You had a daughter - she was alive!
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It took Jack a couple months until he passed by again, he was on his rounds locally and knew he needed to check up on you. A part of him expected to find you dead and half of him prepared himself to the smell of death as he itched closer toward the cabin. The smell of the rotting corpse either being you, the child or both.
But there was a new smell. A sweeter smell.
He wasn't sure why he was surprised when he discovered the cooing child in your arms but he were.
You had named her Lyla.
And you ached for Toby.
Jack couldn't vouch for the coma lie anymore and he knew that soon you were to be caught.
So, he did what he thought were best. He dragged Toby's sorry ass here. And it took a lot of convincing.
Toby succumbing to depression at the idea of losing you. Spending most days in bed, grieving.
So, when he walked into the cabin, he quite literally dropped to his knees, it was like everything inside him had been healed.
"You're alive-?!" Toby choked out. A part of him believed he were dreaming. His eyes scanned every fibre of your being, your hair, eyes, lips and.. the baby in your arms. His mouth hung agape and you couldn't help the stream of tears that came flooding down your cheeks. The brunette couldn't lie, he couldn't say that you looked well because you didn't. You looked.. so hungry, so weak and yet this beautiful child looked so healthy. "You- is that- am I?" All you could do was nod to his words as you approached him, Toby barely able to find the courage to look at the child in your arms. No, he had to make sure you were real first. His hand reached out, fingertips barely grazing over your cheekbones and there he smashed his lips against your own.
It took a lot of explaining and Toby was.. well, in shock for an hour or two as he tried to come to terms with it all. The idea that you did this.. alone. That you carried this child alone for months, that you gave birth alone. He should've been there, he would've been in a heartbeat!
But that voice in the back of his head reminded him of the words he spoke to you on the day that you announced you were pregnant. Oh, how they were not true.
Because as soon as he glanced at the baby, he knew in that moment that he wanted to be.. a father. Well, he wanted to try.
"She's beautiful.." he whispered, voice hoarse as he fought back the lump in his throat. Toby reached out but stopped himself. What if even a mere touch would make the baby disappear? What if.. somehow, he hurt her?! His expression pained as he hesitated, between wanting to love but being too afraid to do so. The both of you exchanged glances, your own look encouraging him silently. You trusted Toby, despite his nature, despite what he does; you knew he would never hurt her. And you relayed those very thoughts with a look alone as you gently urged the little bundle toward him. Toby wanted to decline but slowly, he took the baby within his own arms. He was awkward, freezing and sitting as still as he could, like she were made out of glass. It made you laugh. "You're not going to hurt her," you reassured with words this time. "But what if the day comes that I do?"
When Toby found out his daughters name were Lyla, he broke down into tears. He was crying so much that he kept calling himself 'such a little bitch' between each sob.
It was pretty funny.
But you didn't laugh, you just rubbed his shoulder reassuringly as he sobbed tears over his daughter.
Which prompted Lyla to whine softly.
And then Toby cried more because he thought he hurt her. Shit, this man was more hormonal than you were.
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It took Toby many weeks to adjust to this new lifestyle and he tried his best to form a bond with his daughter. You had the pleasure of nine months to form a bond, Toby had no time to prepare at all.
But it was hard because every time he looked at her, his heart broke into a million tiny pieces.
She was too perfect, too beautiful and anxiety consumed him at the thought of losing her. He had just got you back!
And you were the two girls in his life he loved ever so dearly.
So, he insisted that he looked after her more. Despite the fact that every time he held her, he wanted to fucking die. He was too damn anxious for this shit.
Admittedly, as weeks turned into months, you were thankful for Toby's willingness to parent more often.
But it was hard at the start
It seemed Lyla hated Toby and it frustrated Toby each time she would cry whenever she were in his arms
She was clingy, and you understood both of their emotions.
So when Lyla was asleep, Toby would feel his emotions get the better of him too. He would be angry, but his anger turned more into sadness as he stormed off into the wilderness for some alone time.
And this happened often. Toby needed time and you understood this, a part of you feeling guilty for thrusting this parent role upon him so suddenly - especially after he expressed his discomfort with the idea of being a father.
But it was still early days.
And you were unsure on what happened that particular night but when Toby came back from his usual walks, he was a different man.
And when he gently scooped Lyla up into his arms, it seemed she noticed that too.
Perhaps it was the confidence? Or how calm he appeared?
Whatever it was, it seemed now they were inseparable.
The love in his gaze as he rocked Lyla gently in his arms, like he was holding his entire world and nothing was going to take that away from him.
Well, that was until Slender found out.
And it turned into a literal shit show.
The way Jack came storming into the cabin, bursting your little bubble you had created, your idea of a happy, normal family disappearing as quickly as you had dreamt it.
The panic on Toby's face as he knew.
And you knew.
You expected worse, but Slender was... forgiving.
You were unsure what was said, whether Jack had swayed his mind or perhaps if Toby promised some unspoken promise.
But the cabin you had given birth in was to become your home.
On one condition.
You were banished. No, you would not go back to society - especially not after the things you know and had seen, but you were to stay here until your death. Which would not be a peaceful death, but that day would come. For now, Lyla was fine and despite your worry about her future; Slender agreed that she would be fine.
You did not trust the entity's words. But you were thankful nevertheless.
"How the hell did you get so big?!" You heard Toby yell from the living room, Lyla's giggles followed. From the corner of your eye, Toby spun her around in the space of the living room. There was no denying that the scene warmed your heart, but also made you chew the bottom of your lip anxiously.
Toby always said that you worried about her too much and maybe you did, but fucking hell... if her ankle caught the table or her head on the wall! Rushing over, you quickly waved your arms out. "Whoaa, okay, hold on- she's gonna hurt herself or get sick-!" you quickly spoke, trying to pitch your voice a little louder than Lyla's giggles. Toby stopped momentarily, Lyla in his arms and he looked at you with a questioning look. "She's fine, see?" Toby held her out and she flopped in his arms, almost looking as if she were about to drop on the floor and instinctively you threw your hands out to catch her. The brunette could only chuckle as he bundled her up close to his chest. "You worry too much." Those same words again and you rolled your eyes, a soft crinkle of irritation evident in your brow. Lyla was.. fine and perhaps you did worry too much, but Toby didn't really understand the concept of.. gentle playing. Like the times he'd throw her in the air, it make you wanna vomit at the idea of her hitting her head on the roof, or god forbid - he drops her. She was too little for this roughness and deep down, she'd always be your little baby. But Lyla was nearly two and it broke your heart to admit that, as much as you enjoy watching her grow.
And she preferred playing with Toby than with you. Mostly because she was a carbon copy of Toby himself. From the nose to the hair colour. She had your eyes though, so screw you Toby.
Toby became the very man he promised himself he would become, the very father he wished he had himself.
Loving and caring. Lyla was most certainly Daddy's little girl and Toby wore that badge with pride.
If it weren't for the circumstances and for the fact that Toby does not own a wallet he'd have little pictures of his daughter nestled away inside the pocket of his wallet.
Despite the bumpy start, Lyla couldn't get enough of Toby and he ensured that every night he'd read her a bedtime story. He'd even fall asleep himself sometimes just beside her bed, other nights just wanting to sit close in case something were to happen.
Admittedly, a part of you worried that Toby was.. too attached to her.
But whenever they were together, Toby was healing something inside of him that he thought could never be healed.
And essentially, he was living a childhood he had always wished for through his own daughter.
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Eventually, Lyla blossomed into a teenager and it was.... hell.
"I fucking hate this cabin, I hate being here! Why can't we be normal! What's with all this off the grid shit!" The voice yelled from down the hall. Oh, she wasn't wrong, Lyla had every right to be pissed but having to live with an angsty teenager that hated everyone and everything was a lot worse.
And Toby never, NEVER, did the punishments.
Just... strict words.
No, he couldn't trust himself, so let you deal with it.
But at times he would find himself taking Lyla outside for a walk to talk to her. To let her know that he was there if she wanted to talk.
And yes, Toby does 100% sneak her out to go to the nearest town.
All in all, Toby would be, against all odds, the best father he could offer. Though I do see him not wanting kids at all. I also HC that all the proxies are infertile anyway.
But if it were to play out, it'd probably be something like this. Toby would be the cool dad where you could just about get away with some stuff. Toby would also be one of those guys where he claims he hates the cat kid and then forms such a close bond with the cat kid.
Oh, and is this man protective of his children too. !
Very much refers to his children as 'sperm pet.' Or he pulls a Kratos and he's kinda like 'get 'ere, boy/girl.'
I RAMBLED TOO MUCH
I feel like I didn't really answer your question
I'm sorry. I will write more about this in the future though.
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