#so instead i keep scrolling through the same 10 posts on my dash

[sandboxwritings]

im in the mood to create something but cant decide on what

[chevvy-ryder]

WIP Wednesday Whenever

Got tagged by @elvenbeard! ich danke mal wieder! <3

—

GENERAL:

Thought a lot this week and I set myself a goal for 2024: to be more structured with content for CP77 so I do not loose my passion for it. First I made a decision to only boot my laptop when:

I have an actual idea in mind I desperately want to vp. This used to be the case at the start of the year but along the way it seems I've lost it and instead only piled up my ideas …

in order of finishing a chapter for the 2078 story as some vp is to be added to support the written text (my friend and I share the vp work here too).

if I get asked directly by a modder to take shots for mods.

I just want to play the game ffs (which is rare in itself).

Don't want to force myself anymore to boot up the game each weekend, so that I have some content to post and keep up with this fast living fandom, as it produces vp and mods it feels like close to mass production.

I want to share quality in my content and not end up in just doing quantity. Which means I have to learn to stay more focused on what I want to create in the first place and one after another. This includes get less distracted which includs less browsing my dash and also be less on discord (servers).

So if you really want me to see your content:

a. tag me directly in your post (I do not mind being tagged!) b. send me a link via dm/discord c. use the tag: #chevvy-yates as I will follow this tag from now on.

Hope you understand my own problem and respect my decision, but I have to change something. The least I want is having you think I do not like your content anymore or I do ignore you. If you feel like I do, feel free to tell me about it! Sometimes I do not notice it myself.

Enough of that — now back to a bit content:

— VP/GRAPHICS:

I'll post this boy again tomorrow 🤍

and once I am able to push the button he will be back with lightning:

I reworked these two spotify covers for my two hc radio stations:

they look like this now:

Decided to place Ry's face into them bc they are made for him anyways. At first my intention was to stay more casual but didn't like the simplicity of pic + station icon/logo. Even tho I liked the concept with the chain boots a lot I've felt it doesn't have a reference to 'hell' and 'tech' as soon as I went to make the cover for my chrome chamber Rave playlist. Which lets me come to the next thing I sat down for a few days. I made a cover and moodboards for Hell Bunker/Chrome Chamber Rave:

SNIPPET:

a part of the Ryder oneshot I'm also still on:

His thumb keeps browsing his phone like it has its own life and a long moment later Ry catches himself now browsing his contact list. He didn’t want to call anyone specifically, also not around this time. He just keeps randomly scrolling the alphabet until he arrives at ‘T’. A smile steals onto his lips as he reads the same name, he spoke aloud prior, on his screen and pictures rush through his slightly tipsy mind. Long gone memories of his first clubbing experiences in Berlin. Back then he always had to be home around midnight. Both his legs still have some post-response to the last song he was raving to in the underground, making it impossible for him to sit quiet at all so he jumps up into a standing position and yells “I rave as fucking long as I want to—” There’s a long pause until he continues low “—like you always wished for me, Tommy …” Saying his first love’s name aloud for a second time now makes his smile on his dark contoured lips fade quickly. It’s the moment where Ryder senses that, after nearly 10 years, he still misses him. His thumb has already pressed the contact number and his hand moves up to hold the phone onto his ear. Ryder doesn’t think about his movements at all, his mind just froze in the moment as he moves mechanically. Only when hears the ‘Connection unavailable,’ it pulls him back from wherever he has been to. His right arm falls back into a hanging position, leaving him just standing there in the street. Deine Nummer ist seit jeher noch gleich, doch unter dieser scheiß Nummer werd’ ich dich nie wieder erreichen, wanders through Ry’s mind. Denn da wo du bist, geht keiner ran. Da ist kein Empfang. Ry’s phone is not the phone he used to have back then but he never cared about deleting any numbers at all and so they moved to the next phone and the next one after that and so on.

I tag all that recently reblogged me and those who come to my mind rn: @wraithsoutlaws, @therealnightcity, @dreamskug, @caer-oswin, @ @alphanight-vp, @kdval, @kittenchrissy, @gloryride, @rosapexa, @wanderingaldecaldo, @aggravateddurian, @streetkid-named-desire @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @pinkyjulien, @medtech-mara, @heywoodvirgin, @genocidalfetus, @ouroboros-hideout, @aggravateddurian, @ne0n-rust, @a-pirate, @breezypunk @peaches-n-screem, @jaymber, @lokiina, @shivsghost, @miss--river, @t0tentanz, @cyberpunkaddict, @cinnamon-mey, @spicyraeman, @fereldanwench @86maylin and @morganlefaye79 – also everyone who likes to do a WIP Wesdnesday/Whenever and as always and no pressure! I tagged more this time just to make sure u got notice of my decision in 'general' and that I intend to use my name as a tag now

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

Angst....

The inhuman roar that came out of Natsu the moment the call cut off sent a chill through everyone present in the store. Customers quietly move to a different aisle, and even Ezra, who is as tough as they come, takes a step back from her friend. Always such a lovable goof ball, they’d never seen this level of anger from him before.

“That bitch Touka! I think she just kidnapped Lucy!”

“Wait? What?!” Erza snaps to attention. “How do you know?”

“Lucy just stopped... then I heard the voice— I-I gotta go, I gotta... fuck!” He roars again. “That bitch is gonna pay!”

Erza walks up and puts her hands on his shoulders, staring with a calm yet determined look. “Just go, Natsu. If you think she’s in trouble, go. I’ll finish closing up here. And let us know if you need anything from us.”

“Y-yeah...” he fumbles at his pockets, checking for his keys and belongings. “Thanks, Erza.”

Once Natsu ascertains he has everything, he runs out the door, calling Levy as he hails a passing taxi. The girl answers by the second ring.

“Oh, hey Nat—.”

“Levy, did Lucy make it home?!”

“Whoa, slow down. No, she didn’t. What’s going on? Why are you shouting?”

“It’s Touka! Lucy and I, w-we were talking, and she just cut off, and I heard that bitch’s voice! I think she took her! I think she took Lucy!”

“Oh, my god! Okay— okay, um, lemme call Gajeel. Are you coming here? Do you know where Touka lives?”

Tears are threatening to spill at this point from the frustration and sheer panic he was experiencing. “No! I don’t know where she lives!”

“Okay, okay, d-don’t panic Natsu, we’ll find her. Just get here as soon as you can, and we’ll go from there.”

He has no idea how Levy is staying so calm considering this is her best friend who’s missing, but also relieved that one of them could still think rationally. “O-Okay.”

The entire cab ride over, which took less than 15 minutes, was probably the longest journey ever for the young man. Every outcome and possibility runs through his mind, but when it came to the worst scenarios, he just can’t go there... he didn’t want to believe that Touka would go so far, prays that the woman would somehow realize how wrong she was— yet his heart just knew, and such a sinking devastation threatens to tear him to pieces. Guilt replaces anger that this was all his fault. He could’ve avoided all of it by giving Touka what she wanted even though that meant living a miserable life of his own, but at least Lucy would be safe and not in the clutches of a mad woman.

The poor cab driver tries to take Natsu to the hospital in concern for the young man’s mental state, but he simply grit his teeth and directs the driver to Lucy’s dorm. It took all of his willpower not to scream since it wasn’t the cabbies fault. He wouldn’t understand... kidnappings in Japan aren’t exactly commonplace, and besides, Natsu didn’t want to set off Touka by contacting the authorities outright. Gajeel he trusted because of Levy, but the rest of the force never gave the couple a sense of caring, so why would he trust them?

As he arrives, he finds Levy already downstairs waiting to usher him upstairs to the apartment. The clock is ticking, and time is of the essence.

“Oh, Natsu!” Levy hugs tightly to the man as he practically collapses in her arms. “Don’t panic just yet, you know Lucy is tougher than she looks, and smart. We’ll find her in time.”

But his heart is simply too heavy with burden. “I should have listened,” he sobs into her shoulder. “I should have realized just how dangerous Touka is, but I was selfish and didn’t wanna give Lucy up...”

“Shhh, shhh, Natsu this is not your fault. Lucy knew the danger too and she still chose you.” Levy pushes his head up and smashes his face between her palms. “Natsu look at me. This is not your fault. Touka is sick, you have nothing to do with that. Now get it together! You can fall apart after we get Lucy back safely!”

Natsu’s eyes flare wide at the sudden outburst, but she’s right. “Sorry...” he stands up straight and wipes the tears off his face. “You’re right. I need to be strong for her.”

“Good.” She nods and takes him to the apartment, filling him in along the way. “Gajeel is running the address they have on file for her right now.”

“I forgot about that. The cops must have her in the system from the arrest.”

Inside the apartment, they sit down on the couch and wait for Gajeel to call back. Levy makes Natsu some tea to try and calm his nerves, but nothing is working. How could it? His girlfriend was out there somewhere with a woman who’s shown no evidence of stopping, just an escalation of behaviors. He hangs his and closes his eyes, praying to gods he’s never prayed to before to please, don’t let anything happen to Lucy. Take him instead, but not her. Why couldn’t Touka have come after him instead? His mind is so fuzzy like the static noise from an old television set. The white noise of too much information and emotions mixing, drowning out any logic and rational thought.

The sound of Levy’s phone ringing causes him to flinch. He turns his head as she answers, listening to her side of the conversation.

“Oh, okay. Are you sure? So, it’s wrong? Parent’s address... do you think they’ll talk? What about employer? True, morning... we can’t wait till morning! No... I know...”

By the time Levy said, ‘parent’s address,’ Natsu knew they’ve hit a dead end. His heart sinks, and all the focus he’d redirected towards hope is dashed like a boat against a rocky shore. Tokyo is just too big of a city to search without a starting point and they knew nothing about Touka to give them one. He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through the woman’s Instagram photos, looking for any clues to her whereabouts. There were tons of pictures on her blog, mostly of her in public spaces— that look suspiciously like places he and Lucy frequents. “Ugh!” All this time he should’ve been keeping an eye on her blog! His anger returns with a vengeance the longer he scrolls. To anyone else, these photos look non-descript, but for him it’s plain as day, evidence of the woman stalking them! The bitch was chronicling her movements in plain view! “Stupid!” Natsu growls at himself. Wait a minute, he zeroes into the latest upload. “Fucking bitch!”

“What, what?!” Levy pauses the conversation with her boyfriend to question the outburst.

“Look at this!” He shows her the photo. It was a long distance shot of Lucy walking from behind, and he can see that the surrounding area is the same route she takes to her dorm. “It was posted tonight, right before my call to Lucy was cut off!”

“Oh my god...” Levy breathes out in utter disbelief. “She really is insane.”

And if that isn’t bad enough, the tagline left no doubt as to what Touka is planning. The phone slips from Natsu’s hand as all the blood drains from his face.

‘If I can’t have you, neither will she...’

[sassy-pelican]

Curse Words

Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Premise: You and Bucky meet under very sarcastic circumstances.

Warnings: language, fluff, humor, a lot of nothing

A/N: I was casually scrolling through my dash and then this post popped up and all I could think about was writing something similar for Bucky. So, thank you random persons (@psychoticpingouins - won’t let me tag) grandparents, your actual life experiences have inspired me to write fake life experiences. This is also an AU in the sense that Steve and Bucky both came home from WWII in the 40s. Angie is the same Angie from Agent Carter.

~

It was unfortunately a normal day for you. Men looking down at you simply because you were a woman who didn’t get their food to them fast enough. Time and time again you and Angie grumbled over the sorry excuses for humans that graced you throughout the day. Time and time again you wondered if you should take up Peggy’s offer to join her office. Although, from the second-hand stories you heard from Angie, Peggy didn’t fair much better than you.

Perhaps it was the fact that your boss continued to harp on you about gaining weight, saying that they didn’t supply uniforms any larger. Maybe it was lousy tips you’ve been getting simply because the cook couldn’t cook fast enough. It could even be the fact that you spilled someone’s entire meal down your front when an arrogant customer rammed into you. However, by now, even at only seven, you were ready to crawl into bed and have a black hole swallow you whole.

“I know it sucks but you have to keep tryin’, otherwise you couldn’t afford to live,” Angie says as the two of you walk back to your apartment.

“You didn’t get all the sleaze balls today,” you comment. “Besides, you complain just as much as I do on the bad days.”

“I’m an actress, meant to be on Broadway, I’m overly dramatic. You,” she says, looking you up and down, “are a hot mess.”

You don’t even bother responding, only give her a scalding glare. “Why am I friends with you again?”

“Because I’m the only gal you didn’t scare away with that mouth of yours.”

“Oh,” you feign surprise, “you mean to tell me the other waitresses can’t handle a little cursing.”

“Not the way you do it,” she smiles.

“My ma cursed just as much as I do, I got it honest.”

“At least Peg don’t curse as much, she has the sense to keep it quiet.”

“You think your Peggy doesn’t curse? She spent the war with hundreds of men who sound far worse than me, she picked up a few things.”

“Oh! Pish,” she says, waving you off. Devilishly, you smirk.

“Can’t handle a few assholes, bitches, cunts, bastards? Not even a few shits and hells?” The more you mock her the bigger her smiles gets. “Oh-” you heel slips on a paver and before you know it it’s broke, “oh fuck me.”

“At least let me buy you dinner first!” However perfect the timing for that comment was, you don’t have the slightest idea who the man was who said it.

“Excuse you?”

“I said, at least let me buy you dinner first,” he says, and as he comes closer you can make out the day-old stubble and blueness of his eyes.

“Awfully presumptuous of you,” you reply. “Maybe I don’t want to go to dinner with you at all, nor fuck you for that matter.”

“Y/N!” Angie scolds, hitting your arm.

“So that’s your name? Y/N, pretty.”

“Do I get your name?”

“Bucky Barnes,” he says, “at your service.”

“You’re Steve’s best friend!” The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“You know Stevie?”

“Not really, Peggy just likes to talk about him and his imbecile of a friend when she visits the diner.”

“Must be talking about Dugan then,” he says.

“No, she mentions you by name,” you smile.

“Would like to go to dinner with me sometime?” Bucky asks, Angie looking frantically between the two of you, hopeful.

“Ask me again in ten days and we’ll see,” you reply, his smile not dropping.

“Deal.”

 10 Days Later

You can practically feel him when he walks in, his presence huge in the relatively empty space. Although, you could kill him for coming in this early in the day. Not that you expected anything different, he’s been coming in every morning for breakfast since that night. It’s not helping his cause.

“Hello darlin’,” he says, smiling as he takes a seat.

“Hello Bucky,” you reply, “same as yesterday?”

“Nah, I think I’ll have pancakes today, give myself a treat.”

“Celebrating something are you?”

“Maybe,” he says, looking you in the eye.

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Please,” he smiles.

“Your pancakes will be cold if you keep this up.”

“Oh, come on sugar,” he please. You roll your eyes and slap the back of his head with your notepad, cringing when you realize that Frank is here today.

“Y/N!” Frank yells from the back. “No assaulting customers!”

“Yes Frank,” you say, dropping your shoulders. You see his head peak out from the kitchen window as you turn.

“And for God sake’s girl, suck it in. I can’t have fat waitresses at my diner, it’s bad for business.”

“Jesus,” Bucky mutters. “Does he do that all the time.”

“Yes.”

“Well don’t just stand there givin’ doe eyes to every man! Get to work!” You know it isn’t right, but at this point, you’re far more used to it than not. Unfortunately, Bucky never got the chance to meet the wonderful Frank.

“What’s she done to you?” Bucky asks, loud enough that Frank can hear him clearly.

“And what’s your problem boy, the little shank getting on your nerves?”

“You are,” he seethes. If it were possible, you could swear you were seeing steam come off him. “You should treat your waitress better.”

“She’s my waitress, I’ll treat her as I damn well please.”

“Bucky,” you plead.

“She’s a woman! She deserves some respect.”

Without a word you throw your apron on the nearest chair and walk out the back. “I’m going for a smoke,” you lie, “Angie cover for me a minute.”

Everyone knows damn well you don’t smoke, but no one dares correct you at this point. Only Angie knows what you really do; you go out there and cry. The cold brick doesn’t help you this time, it only makes you feel worse. Still, the tears come in droves. If you didn’t need the job so bad, you’d quit on the spot, but Ange was right, you need the money.

“Y/N,” Bucky whispers as he clothes the back door. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not you,” you reassure. “I just, I hate this place. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done and all I get for hard work is shit on.”

“Then quit,” he says.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I need the money Bucky!” He suddenly seems to realize just how upset you really are.

“How often do you come out here?”

“About every three days, it’s a guarantee when Frank’s here.”

“Quit,” he says. “Come stay with me. I’ve got an extra bed I can pull out.”

“No.”

“Set up a meeting with Peggy and you can stay with me while you get it sorted out.”

“Bucky I can’t.”

“Why not?” He genuinely sounds baffled.

“Can you imagine how I’d look! I’m already hated for not fitting in and now I’m moving in with a man I’ve known for ten days! Bucky I’d be labeled a harlot.”

“Oh, fuck them!” he shouts. “We know what happens behind closed doors, as do the people you care about. That’s all the matters.”

“Bucky,” you start only to have him stop you.

“Let me take you on a date tonight, you can come back to mine and check it out then decide, okay?”

“Okay.”

 1 Year Later

The smell is heavenly when you open the door, just the thing you needed after today. “You know,” you say slipping off the shoes that are currently cutting off circulation to your toes, “you didn’t tell me you could cook when I moved in.”

“A man never reveals all his secrets on the first date darlin’,” Bucky says from the kitchen. Making your way over to him, you place a kiss on the side of his neck. “How was Peggy today?”

“Same as always,” you say. “Harping on about Steve and his stupidity. Although, the job of ordering men around suits her.”

“I’m sure it does you too,” he mocks.

“Right, because that’s what I do.”

“Sweetheart, you’re the analyst. Peggy asks you to look at cases and tell everyone the most likely scenarios and how to proceed before she makes a decision. It’s your job to boss people around.”

“I suppose,” you smile. “Whatcha cooking?”

“Nothing special, just some grilled cheese.”

“You bastard! That’s what I was gonna fix tomorrow.”

“We could always go out,” he suggests.

“We sure as hell are now, I was plannin’ on fixin’ that for days.”

Quickly he turns and slips his arms around you, hands resting on your ass. “Such a shame.”

“You are something else Bucky,” you joke.

“I’m your something else,” he says, squeezing his hands and dropping his lips down yours in a frenzy. It’s all tongue and teeth, your hands grabbing at his shirt as his slip up your sides, bringing your skirt and blouse with them.

The slow movement backward into the counter has you gasping, enough that he slips more of his tongue in your mouth, devouring you with everything he has. Jumping up, your ass hits the cold counter as he trails kisses down your neck.

A hiss and a burning smell knock you out of your lust induced haze. “Bucky,” you moan. “The soup.”

“Dammit,” he yells, pulling away to clean up the ruined dinner. “How about we go out tonight instead?”

“Sounds good to me.”

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

I will not tag BLM posts as nonsims/non sims, and here is why:

I do understand to the fullest that many people come here, to our Tumblr/Simblr community to escape from reality, and have a time off from whatever we are facing in our individual lives. I do too. This is the very reason why I made my very first Tumblr blog, and the very reason why I made multiple after that. It’s my escape too. And the people who has followed me through the years, very well know, it’s rare I post anything “political” of any sort. I also very well understand that there are many people around here with mental health related issues, such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma and many more. I fully understand the impact these protests, deaths, murders, violence, police brutality, lockdowns and anything else going on in the world, have on people with mental health issues. I’m right there with you. I personally suffer from anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD/trauma’s. For almost 2 decades I haven’t watched the news. I discovered how much it was affecting my anxiety and cut it out of my life. With social media growing, it became harder to escape. It’s hard/triggering for me too. I usually reblog the most important on my Facebook and try my best to scroll past anything else, while keeping my Tumblr as free from it as possible, only sharing the absolute most necessary stuff, not even once a month. I usually tag non sims related posts properly, yes it slips here and there, I never claimed to be perfect, quite the opposite.

However;

As much as I understand and relate, this is not a time to stay silent. The protests are helping, a man who was going to get away with max a 3rd degree murder, is now up for 2nd degree murder. Others are being charged/held responsible now as well. But there’s still so many people who needs to be held responsible, and it’s still continuing as we sit here in our little Simblr world, trying our best to pretend it isn’t happening. And this is why it’s happening. This is why it keeps happening. Our privilege to escape the insanity, while others never get to escape. Black people never get to escape. So why do we get to constantly stay in our comfort zone, turning our back to anything that makes us remotely uncomfortable?! And this is why I refuse to tag BLM posts as non sims. I refuse to silence voices of people being oppressed, violated and murdered, for the sake of your comfortableness. 95% of the BLM posts I have shared the past days, have been reblogged by my followers, providing the posts more reach. Many of my followers has the nonsims/non sims tags blocked. This means people who blocks these tags, wont see the much needed BLM posts on their dash. Which results in less reach for these posts. Could I make a new blog and reblog the posts there instead? I could, but I would have no followers, so once again, the posts would have no reach, for the sake of your comfort. Could I post them on my other social medias instead? Yes, I could, and I do. However, on my Facebook, although I have followers, none of my posts has been reblogged, so I can’t help with reach there. On my Twitter, I have 7 followers, which means no reach there either. I do keep the BLM reblogs at a minimum on this blog, I haven’t reblogged anything showing violence, and I wont, that’s the best I can and will do for your comfort. Meanwhile my Twitter, although it has no reach, is glowing red, and most of the reblogs are full of police brutality, while I on this blog have only shared the ‘peaceful’ posts. As much as I understand people’s need to escape, and I even share the same need. As much as I understand mental health, and also need to protect my own. I will not silence people living every day in fear to a point where they don’t dare to stick their hands in their pockets in public, wear a hoodie in public, go to a store to buy Skittles, pay for their purchase at a quiet corner store, sit at home on their couch or dare to look at a white person for more than 3 seconds! I will not silence these people for the sake of your comfort! Cause that’s the very reason why things never change! That’s the very reason for racism still being alive and thriving! That’s the very reason for innocent black lives being taken every day, as if they were flies on a hot summers day! That is the very reason for the by now extremely public police violence roaming the streets! That is the very reason for Donald Trump’s army of destruction!

I will not silence these people for your comfort!

While I am just as uncomfortable and triggered as you are, -as a writer, it’s hard when my words fail and I stumble, so I apologize if I say something wrong or out of tune or if my words fail, but I’m trying my very best, I will keep fighting with what I have, and that’s the freedom to reblog and sign petitions. I will keep reblogging posts with useful information, as long as my own mental health allows me to participate. After that, my blog will return to be the usual refuge I need in my own life, and you can all be comfortable with me again. If you are uncomfortable with me trying to lend a hand to people that desperately need to be heard, kindly unfollow, and don’t return. Enjoy your privilege and right to be comfortable, while others never had that privilege and right.  Please, spare a few minutes from your comfort zone, to sign these petitions, I know many of us may not have any money to spare, but these are completely free, only requires you to fill in name and email. It can’t be more convenient to lend a helping hand. It only takes a few seconds for your vote to count. Breonna Taylor: https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor Joāo Pedro: https://www.change.org/p/prefeitura-do-rio-de-janeiro-justice-for-jo%C4%81o-pedro?recruiter=false&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_message&utm_term=psf_combo_share_initial&recruited_by_id=1daf3eb0-a675-11ea-bc30-8f70846579cc&share_bandit_exp=message-22456027-en-US&share_bandit_var=v3 George Floyd: https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?recruiter=false&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&recruited_by_id=c0d85430-a5c3-11ea-a283-f7f1ba5cd143&utm_content=mit-22414602-10%3Av1 There are many more petitions like this, if you want to sign more, please have a look at this link: https://www.change.org/t/black-lives-matter-en-us Alternative to donating money: You can (for free) let this video run on replay either with sound or on mute (turn off your addblock, if you are uncomfortable with that while being online, consider doing it while you shower/cook/sleep and aren’t actively using your browsers): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgLa25fDHM&feature=emb_title

[life-of-ice]

Masaki Sako's Entrance Exam

@taiyuu-high-oct

Trumpets blared out from the phone.

Masaki woke up, and leaned off his be to reach for his phone to turn off all five of his alarms. He blinked blearily and squinted to try and identify the time.

Maybe it’s 10:00? God, I really need to stop being so lazy and fix the settings on my phone.

After squinting at it for a few more minutes, he shrugged, and hopped out of bed. Getting the clothes he laid out the night before, he quickly got dressed, and made a mental note to do some laundry once he got home. And buy some groceries maybe, they needed some more. After all, Masaki’s parents were going to be gone all day. He put some bread in the toaster, and ran off to finish getting ready for the day.

Brushing his teeth and his hair, he idly scrolled through tumblr,  and resolutely ignored his contacts case which stared at him accusingly.

Ooh look, new posts about quirked animals! Can’t believe Nezu’s not on that list. Kinda weird, but okay. I think it’s time to go soon, let’s hurry back upstairs!

Masaki jumped as trumpets blared again from his phone, one more alarm set for the express purpose of making sure he wasn’t late.

Well shit.

And now he really needed to boogie. Grabbing his shoes, his prepacked backpack, an his piece of toast, he dashed out the door to reach the last train before it left for the docks.

“Aw shit!” He dashed back inside to retrieve his bag of jewelry, and then finally left, sprinting for all he’s worth towards the train station.

“Good luck on our exam!” yelled his neighbor as he rushed by.

“Thanks!” he yelled back.

Still sprinting he hears a chorus of mutters from besides him and sees a blue haired girl, making large leaps to go at a fast pace.

"Oh no I'm going to be late and miss the last train, if I don't make it I'm not going to get in….."

Having noticed Masaki, she looked up. 

"Oh hello! Based on what you're doing, I bet you're running late for the train too, huh?"

Masaki nodded in response, too busy running to respond properly.

She giggled, and he smiled at her.

They got to the train station, and somehow, when Masaki turned to make sure he was getting on the right train, he lost her.

That's a shame. It's kinda sad to ride the train by yourself.

Masaki got off the train, and ran to the docks, hoping that the transportation was not what he thought it would be. 

He looked up at a gargantuan boat, with TH printed on it in bright letters.

Of course it's a boat, the school's on an island, dumbass. Ok, so maybe it won't be that long.

"Hey applicants! Be prepared for a 30 min boat trip!"

Yeah, no. It wasn't going to be a short boat trip.

After a long, long boat trip in which Masaki queasily reconsidered all of his life choices to go to school on an island that he couldn’t fly to, they finally arrived at the dock of Taiyuu High School.

The place for hero hopefuls.

Three people welcomed the applicants on a podium, one was a lady with black and white hair, who was kinda scary looking. Another was a deer man in a suit, and the last was a dog. 

The dog looked smart.

"Hello! I am Mrs. Chikyu, and I'm the principal here at Taiyuu High. This is the vice principal, Mr Kazumi. Alright applicants! First there's the written test," the lady waited for the groans and moans to subside then continued, "Then there's the practical exam! The practical exam is an obstacle course where you'll have to beat up some robots, save some people, and get to the finish line as fast as you can!" 

She paused for their murmurs again."Also, the test is on another island. So be prepared for one more boat trip! But for now, follow either me, or Mr. Kazumi to go your written exam rooms."

Not another one.

All of the applicants finish in record time it feels like, die to the anticipation of the practical exam. And they board one more boat to get to another island.

Masaki sighs as he watches the other applicants mill around, all of which seem much more confident then he was. He started putting on his multitude of jewelry, first the iron ring, then the turquoise necklace, then the silver bracelet, and finally gold earrings.  Masaki glanced disastefully down at himself.

“Man, I haven’t been this mismatched in a longg time.” he muttered, eyeing the shininess of his jewelry in comparison to his drab sleeveless hoodie, sweatpants, and red shoes. 

A few minutes later, they finally arrived. 

Masaki looked up in astonishment at this humongous facility, that was used only once a year for just entrance exams.

Imagine what the real thing is like, Masaki.

The principal clapped her hands to grab their attention. “Alright folks, let’s get started! Don’t forget, you need to finish one lap through the course! Okay, GOOOO!”

Startled by the abrupt start, everyone froze to look at the principal who only smiled back at them. She shooed them forward, “I said go already! Come on, guys!”

Along with most of the other applicants, he finally took the hint and took off, dashing as hard as he could as he headed for his first obstacles.

It looked like the first zone was an absolutely trashed city. All of it was ruined, with building skeletons, fires, and wreckage, everywhere he looked. He vaguely remembered something about rescuing people from the principal’s first speech, but she skimmed over it so quickly that Masaki definitely could not remember what was said about it. 

Masaki was going to fly over the course to get to the end faster, and maybe get to the so called villains a bit faster. He did need a place to jump off from, because while his wings were strong, they acted more like a glider because of his body wasn't completely adjusted for wings. 

He ran towards the closest building skeleton with the intent of climbing it, when he stumbled over a humanoid robot.

I wonder what this is doing here. Maybe it’s a robot that someone defeated already?I

A sign flashed on the robot’s chest. It said “Rescue Me”.

“Alright, gotta do what the lady asks.” said Masaki shrugging. He picked up the robot, and ran towards the closest “safe zone” which were marked by the forcefield around it, to keep applicants safe if they needed a break, or to store these “people” to save. 

He was almost to the safe zone when he heard a heavy thud. He turned quickly to see what was behind him, and what he saw was a giant robot with a two printed on it, aiming a laser at the person on his back. 

Masaki looked up at the robot. “Well, that’s fun.” 

The robot made a big show of charging up its laser, and Masaki sprinted into the safe zone to get the person inside. The laser fired seconds after he entered, and it hit the barrier.

He wiped the sweat off his face in his short respite, and launched himself back into the fray, watching carefully as other people used their quirks to destroy robots and move forward, someone was punching very neat holes through the robot, someone appeared to be teleporting robots’ heads off, it was nuts. 

Masaki faced down the robot that was firing at him earlier, and eyed it. He already knew what he was going to do, but he needed to be sure that there was enough time for him to do it. 

1.

2.

3.

Ok, let’s go!

Masaki started tapping his eyeballs frantically, and activated his quirk, forming two iron and turquoise knives. Dissipating his wings, he whipped out the knives to begin stabbing and climbing up the giant robot. Reaching the top, having barely broken a sweat, he formed a much, much larger chunk of turquoise and started bashing the robots head like there was no tomorrow. Satisfied with his destruction, he dissipated his weapons, reformed his wings, and launched himself off the robot, going on to the next robot that he saw repeating the process on quite a few others.

This is wayyy too easy. How’s this an exam? How many robots have I destroyed? How many people have I rescued? God, I hope I have enough points to pass…. Oh lol, she just fell off that robot!

Masaki had no idea how many he had destroyed, but he figured his point level was getting higher. He had made a few of the robots shoot at each other, and the ones with a 3 on them were easy to trip up. He continued to rescue people both from robots, and from other applicants who were being so stupid with their quirks. 

He growled in frustration as he threw up a wall of earth to protect the person he's rescuing.

Like really guys, it's not that hard to just aim!

Cursing as his eyes twitched in pain from the dust around him, he reached the next zone, only to find that it’s just a mountain.

Round two, same procedure. 

Make knives. 

Climb Robot.

Bash the robot’s head in, dissipate his weapons, and glide down. 

Rinse, and repeat.

Masaki made it to the next zone in record time, having an easier time making it uphill then the other applicants due to having climbed one of the robots and soaring over the peaks instead of climbing over it like an average pleb.

He reveled in the feeling of the wind through his hair, and wondered what it would be like to really have wings. Wings made of flesh and blood that he could feel. 

If only I were more like my parents. 

In the midst of his enjoyment, he winced as he realized that he probably missed a bunch of people to rescue. 

The mountain came to an abrupt end, as it started steeply plunging downhill, showing a terrain made of different sized rocks. It looked like a landslide. The robots looked like they were having a hard time navigating through the terrain. 

I’m going to have to be more careful.

Instead of rushing at the robots like he had earlier, now he went a bit slower, to make sure he wasn't knocking anything down. 

He climbed up on more robot, and knocked it out with his usual technique, when he realized that it was collapsing. 

Oh no. Oh no no no no.

Masaki watched in horror as he saw the thing tilt and crashdown, underneath him, and frantically leaped off, hopefully to avoid the giant landslide that he was sure was going to crash down and crush something.

He landed several meters away, and braced himself for the inevitable thud.

Only it didn't come. All the rocks remained in their exact positions before the robot had fallen.

Of course they wouldn't make it so it could hurt anybody. I guess the rocks really are stable!

Masaki had glided his way to the last zone, having rescued people and bashed robots along the way, when he came to what looked like a shore line. A big shoreline. There were floating robots with lasers floating around.

He could see the end in the distance, indicated by two bright yellow flags, and saw other competitors heading towards it already, making creative uses of their quirks to get across.

Masaki sighed and blinked his eyes blearily. There wasn't any place high enough for him to glide off of, so he's going to have to swim over to one of the robots and climb one of those.

Damn, I'm so tired.

He sighed, and got into the water, shivering at its cold temperature and began swimming. He agonized at the sight of all the other applicants making much better time than him, and when he finally reached the robot, he didn't even try to do anything cool. He swung up, bashed it with huge chunk of turquoise and called it a day.

He finally reached the top, and reformed his wings for the last time. He jumped and glided down from the robot, almost to the finish line when he saw someone struggling in the water.

It was a person covered with freckles and an awful tie dye job that he had seen earlier in the waiting room.

Oh dear. I think he's drowning. But how is he drowning? I mean, his head is above the water.

With a pang of shock, Masaki swooped a bit lower to see what was wrong, and misjudging his aim, nosedived into the water.

"SHI-!"

The other person, taking no notice of him, continued to struggle in the water.

"Hey-" Masaki coughed. " I'm going to try and get you out, ok?"

The winged boy dissipated his wings, and grabbed onto the other person by the arm, and tried dragging them to the finish line, which was so, so close, but so far away from a kid who had been going full force with nothing but his brute strength.

Why did I ever think I could rescue someone else in the water when I'm this exhausted? Also, why does the person feel like they got stabbed a bunch or something?

Masaki reached down to his feet and created a large piece of plastic to float on the surface of the water with the freckles person. 

Yeah, I'm not going to make it. This plastic is only going to last for a few more seconds, I hope someone's going to come out here to come help us.

Masaki felt a weight on the piece of plastic that was keeping them afloat. He looked up to see a grey skinned girl, reaching down and touching the two people. The world spun, and then they landed, thankfully, at the finish line.

Masaki got up from his face plant, and looked at his savior. 

"Thank you for saving me!" said Masaki rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, about that, I didn't mean to mess with your race."

She glanced at him for a moment, muttered something, and walked off.

He watched her leave and shrugged. Let bygones be bygones, right?

Masaki went to crouch by the freckles person, who now that he realized, was covered with holes. 

Yup, sure, why not.

The brown haired boy shook their shoulder.

" Hey. Are you doing ok?"

They stirred, and sat up. 

"How the fuck did I get here? I mean I know I fell off a robot, but jeez. Did I suddenly gain the ability to teleport?"

" Well, no, but that girl can teleport!" The holey kid with green eyes spun around to look at Masaki. " She got us out!"

"Oh that's good," They sighed, and frowned. "What do you mean, we?"

Masaki grinned sheepishly and blinked hard to try and clear his vision. "Um, I tried to rescue you? And I started drowning myself?"

He snorted. "That's one way to go."

Masaki grinned. "Yup, it sure is. Isn't it super cool that we made it! I hope we passed! And..."

The two walked off together towards the main building, and waited for the rest of the applicants.

".... And that's how my quirk works!"

The Principal butted in, and announced to the crowd of kids.

"Alright guys! See you next time! Your results will come in the mail in a few days! Good luck!"

With that, they were delivered back to the docks.

Masaki returned home to an empty house, and finished his chores for the day. He left a note for his parents telling about his day, and took off all his jewelry. 

As he fell asleep, there was only one thought in his mind. 

And now we wait.

[opposingsigns]

For context to new guys from Twitter!

When we talk about likes not doing anything, think about bookmarks on twitter. While op might get notified of a like, people on tumblr will largely ignore that notification- and that’s because likes go into a separate section from your dash.

Your followers won’t have your likes pop up on their dash (like op said, most people turn that off) and likewise, unless you are looking to find their likes you have to go to their page and select the tab to see it (and most people will turn that off too).

You can scroll your likes in a separate page if you want to keep something for later, to follow up or just chuckle again (seriously, I cannot describe how likes here are essentially just bookmarks more clearly!)

While I know some people will liberally like things as they want, I’ve been here almost 10 years and I don’t think I’ve hit 1000 likes. And that’s because I will regularly go through and clean my likes the same way people will do with bookmarks on Twitter. And that’s also because the tagging system here ACTUALLY works well.

Following a tag will give you things as they post in chronological order, as well as show you the top tags in that tag. And if you get fun with your tags, you can go back and immediately search exactly what you want in that tag. A simple example: instead of keeping my bookmarks for references and cool artist tools, I will simply tag ‘reference’ and then when I need it I can simply go to my blog url + ‘/tagged/references’ to find everything I might need.

(Ironically I was the new guy to twitter about 2 years ago and it was so funny attempting to relearn engagement after being here for like 10ish years. You can do it guys! And with ACTUALLY REBLOGGING you can help other people too!! Enjoy the plinko fire we have here :) )

so i have a mildly popular “reblog and put in in the tags” post going around and its. very clear how many people don’t know how to interact with a tumblr post

so, first of all, tumblr’s culture has changed a lot in the past couple years. there’s a genuine community effort to not start any drama, and ironically a lot of the current hostility is an effort to keep things calm. there’s also a change in how people interact with posts, so if you haven’t been here in a while please skip down to the tags/replies/reblog with text section.

for newcomers: you should be reblogging posts about as liberally as you would like something on twitter. if you only like stuff, people will think you are rude/a bot. you’ve probably heard people talk about “cultivating your dash,” and thats because this platform is 100% centered around your dashboard. trending matters less, unfollowing and blocking in order to shape your dash into it’s best form is widely accepted, the majority of the content you’ll find and interact with will be because of your dash, and the only way to put things on your dash is to reblog them. tumblr users are deeply distrustful of algorithms and have largely turned off the “see posts your friends have liked” function (i recommend you also turn of the various algorithms in settings → general settings → dashboard preferences).

so, once you’ve reblogged a post, there’s three ways to add content to it. the tags, replies, and reblogging with text. all of them have different connotations

the tags: an inside voice. originally they were meant for organizing your blog (and they’re still used for this), but they’ve also morphed into a way to share thoughts that aren’t funny/insightful enough for non-followers to be interested in. when in doubt, put your comment in the tags

replies: basically talking to your friends in class. your followers have no way of finding your replies (they don’t pop up on the dash, nobody gets notified except for the original poster) so chances are, only the person who made the post is gonna see your comment. it’s for quick one-offs that you’re okay with other people overhearing, but really is only made for one person. they’re like a public dm

reblog with text: an outside voice. you’re getting up on a stage in town square and entertaining people. make sure it’s funny or insightful— bottom line, add something new to the conversation. you should use this the least

general rules of thumb: 

when in doubt, reblog. people will judge you if your blog is only personal posts and you only interact with other content by liking it.  

the only things people will judge you for reblogging are personal vent posts. leave a like to give a little virtual hug

if a post is asking about your personality/opinions (i.e: tell me what’s the last tv show you watched, that kind of thing) put it in the tags 

also if you see a nice edit, gifset, or art, reblog and say something nice in the tags! it’s that nice sweet spot of common enough that no one will notice but uncommon enough to make the artist’s day

[peinde]

the be honest meme.   aka things you lowkey want to talk about but don’t because you don’t know how to bring it up. send me a number and i’ll tell you the honest truth. either a simple yes or no answer or a detailed response.

1. What would prevent you from following someone? - not having a rules page. that’s my #1 reason.  - i also don’t follow if i see “don’t interact if you follow x”. i usually am not interacting with them in the first place, but i can’t keep track of every person someone doesn’t talk to, and i’d rather not cause a fuss. - i don’t follow or interact with those under 18.

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why? not at all! i don’t care if you’ve got a fancy HTML-customized blog theme or the default Tumblr blog theme. if we have fun, then it’s all good! 3. What current rp trend do you hate? none at the moment. i keep to myself anyway, so if there are any current trends, i don’t know about them. the only one i see is the HSRP community using coloured text, but it doesn’t bother me. i just don’t do it myself. 4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world? ”you find a character you like, and you act as them online.” cue an awkward laugh 5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why? it doesn’t really matter 6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? i literally only write Feferi. 7. What’s your opinion on call out posts? they cause more harm than good. i usually unfollow whenever i see one. 8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. call out posts, interacting with my posts when we’re not mutuals 9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not? i don’t have one. if people feel more comfortable with exclusivity, then to each there own. i don’t practice it myself, because i feel every muse is different, even if they are the same character. 10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them? nope. i’ve only ever gotten one commission from an old friend, and it was beautiful! 11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started? RP’s not that serious. at the end of the day, it’s a hobby. you can control as much as you want, so don’t sweat it. 12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? yes, and yes. i was thrown into it without my consent and wrongfully accused. 13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind? i’ve left a bunch of times. i tend to stress myself out with my own insecurities. i keep coming back because i love RP and i have friends here 14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? i’m not sure. i’ve learned some things about myself through it, but in my life? i have no idea 15. How has rp changed you personally? it’s made me realize that i’m very insecure and don’t really like confrontation. it also taught me to be content with what i have instead of chasing an unattainable ideal. 16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why? call out posts. they should be abolished along with those who make them 17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why? yeah LOL. Fef’s got lots of NPCs in her universe, so i spend a lot of time just talking to myself 18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? no? i don’t have a reason to. 19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why? i’ve never received it TBH 20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with? yes, all the time 21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? yes 22. What would make you block someone? if they make me uncomfortable for whatever reason, i’ll block them. i usually just soft block since i both don’t think it’s serious enough to warrant a hard block and don’t know how to hard block 23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else? i steal ask memes and fill them out like surveys all the time 24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it? i don’t think so, and if so i can’t remember/wasn’t made aware of it 25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not? definitely! 26. How do you feel about vague posting? lame. just talk to them. 27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back? it depends. if it’s for Fef’s aesthetic, yeah. but if we’re not mutuals, i’d feel awkward if i tried talking to someone who didn’t want to interact with me. 28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting? always 29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it? reblog karma’s dumb. if i take something from someone, i always send something for goodwill, but like it’s not that serious. 30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all? i use it sometimes 31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? no. if i don’t know what something is, i usually ask or just read up on it 32. Have you ever experienced discrimination? i might’ve? i can’t remember 33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog? i’m okay with it, but i won’t follow back. i do like to keep my dash RP-centric. if they have an RP sideblog, i’ll follow the sideblog 34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply? yes 35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own? it depends. if it’s a character i’m really interested in, i may skim a thread of theirs on my dash. most of the times though i’m just scrolling 36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? i’m not sure. 37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t? always tag triggers. it costs you nothing and can save a person’s sanity. even if it’s not truly a “trigger”, if it bothers a person and they’ve asked you, why not? 38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp? don’t sweat it

[elizabethrobertajones]

I know it sounds absolutely insane, and believe me, I know it does, but my heart would be absolutely shattered if Destiel isn’t canon. I first started watching SPN last year when I started having anxiety attacks and they’ve helped me so much, and I just feel so much love for them, almost like they’re real people. And I just feel so alone because most people on tumblr are like “Oh, I’m pretty sure they won’t be endgame, I’ll be fine we’ll always have fanfic” and it’s like I’m glad I have fanfic

(PT 2) I’m glad we have fanfic, but canon matters to me, as much as I try to deny it. I know it’s probably unhealthy to be so attached to them, but they’ve helped me so much and I’ve genuinely never fallen this hard for a ship before. Idk, I just don’t think I’d ever be able to move on if they aren’t endgame. I try to hold out hope and I get so happy when I read meta, but I’m really scared Danneel’s character will be Dean’s endgame. I know it sounds selfish but I’d rather he’d not end up with

(PT 3) anyone at all than end up with some random female character at the end of the show.

Hi there <3 I’m glad the show has helped you so much… I think it’s helped all of us one way or another at some point. It’s magical like that. :D

There’s a ton of stuff out there already said about how they aren’t thinking about romance for these characters, about how they have no plans to do that, and also good posts from other people trying to calm things down and reassure everyone that we don’t know what’s going to happen yet but we shouldn’t assume immediately she’ll be a love interest JUST because she’s Jensen’s wife as well as being an actress in her own right. I don’t really want to get deep into it because I find it unlikely and talking about these things really just flames panic because people can so easily be like “what if anon is right and the person answering is just trying to mollify them!!” but it didn’t seem right to not answer you at all >.>

I feel the same about having very rarely ever felt a ship as GOOD as this one and how important it is to me. I get how you feel completely but I’m way less worried these days after being in fandom for ages and seeing how the story is going, not because I’m sure it’s heading towards a happy ending, but because by this point I’m 100% certain that what we’ve seen in canon so far is *justifiably real* in the sense that while it’s all interpretation and personal view on it all, it’s coming from a very real place within the text, beyond the teasing and jokes of the early seasons to something really real in the text for the last 4-5 years where the romantic element is at the very least a solid part of the subtext. I know that *whatever* they do they can’t make that go away and Dean and Cas will *always* have been in love with each other in the core narrative of the show. I think that’s what makes them so good and compelling - for a non-canon ship it’s not like they’re in the unrequited staring and teasing stage that a lot of them seem to stop at and they haven’t been for years, even if it’s been pretty tumultuous in that time.

That’s something that no one can take away from me because I don’t have a doubt that the show hasn’t made itself completely available for that reading and it’s a very strange sort of shipping perhaps where sometimes it feels like 99% of what I want from the ship is already there, and we’re just missing confessions and kisses but after that they’d basically just carry on as they are. 

Dabb’s comment makes me kinda feel like the low low weasley NEW worst case scenario ending now we’ve breezed past “You’re our brother Cas” in 11x23 and Cas dead at Dean’s feet in 12x23, has been upgraded 2 ranks to the previous 3rd worst ending (improvement! :P) the show ending where neither of them have a love interest, they’re hypothetically available and hanging out together, but no declaration has been made despite the blatant narrative evidence they’re married. I sort of don’t really factor in “with other love interests” as a plausible ending and I didn’t before Dabb’s comment but now I’ve taken it off the list, or locked it in a black box with a skull painted on it and chains around it for “god tier worst case scenario ending” but not really one I feel in my bones, just a nightmare that haunts the fandom. 

And it’s REALLY HARD shaking these fandom nightmares. The bitterness about characters and ships spreads and no one can say what WILL happen just what we feel will so the nightmares can’t be banished until the show gets rid of them (like the 2 worst case scenario endings we’ve already ticked off and got out the way to carry on from). And of course the only way to really get rid of them forever is to end the show and treat the ship right. So. Yeah. Fandom nightmares continue >.> I wish there was something I could say to make it all better especially when it means so much to you because my heart would be broken too and I think I’m trying to have reasonable hopes as in I’m positive for the emotional outcome but trying to keep a healthy scepticism about the canon thing so I don’t run wild with it and get accused of getting other people’s hopes up, and I know it would make it hurt more for me, so it makes me focus more on the immediate moment and what I’m enjoying now. Because as much as I’d like to tell you not to worry about endgame I think avoiding worrying about it is more how I’m going :P I focus on the positives and try and sort out the negatives into likely and unlikely and be really careful about weighing what everyone’s saying before *feeling* any of these things. 

There’s usually a few people talking objectively about anything on my dash, people like @ozonecologne, @mittensmorgul, @ibelieveinthelittletreetopper or @justanotheridijiton who can be relied to make a good picture of what you should be feeling about a thing when you collect up their takes on it and see a reasoned out middle ground on any topic. When I say I scrolled my dash to see if “anyone” was talking about something when an anon asks, it’s usually those guys in one combination or another I’m hoping to see making posts about it before I get back to my inbox as they usually get asks or comment on/snark about current events in fandom/spec. To me stuff like their takes on Danneel’s casting, as an example, is less “giving something to hold out hope for” and more evaluating the situation and giving as much info as possible about how to look at it rationally, by talking about what we know about the character, the casting and who she’ll be acting with (Lucifer apparently) and fandom history with these sort of panics.

But anyway to me the Danneel wank is an immediate thing I can be reassuring about, the endgame is another issue, and I still haven’t figured out if I’m having any effect with trying to impart my own coolness about it. Because of course it means the world to me, but I’ve seen enough of fandom to see how the fandom nightmares about endgame and canon and character treatment can destroy someone who doesn’t manage their expectations because week to week things can seem like they’re pronouncing a doom on the whole show, and in that atmosphere mass panic can spread and individual wanky people with a platform can cause a lot of damage and sow doubt and mistrust in the fandom. Especially about the people like me who love the show every much as deeply as them, but are enjoying it week to week for its positives and taking its negatives in a measured way. If you see a bunch of panic about Danneel eventually it’s going to set in that this is a thing to panic about and then it spirals to the whole endgame idea. If you can feel okay about the one small thing, hopefully the entire picture is easier to handle you know? 

And I’ve been surfing through these fandom panics since season 10 and almost ALL of the worst case scenarios other people model haven’t come to pass, like Cas x Hannah or Dean x Amara or all the smaller freak outs about characters who weren’t even teased romantically with them in the narrative but still got the freak out. I’ve just got really really used to my knee jerk to female character casting to not be “Oh no she’ll marry Dean and that’s the end” to “oh boy here comes the fandom panic” which isn’t necessarily less negative but at least it’s not putting negativity into my enjoyment of the show? Bleh :P 

I’m sorry this is so long - your comment about anxiety and investment really hit me because I know how it feels, I’m very anxious about a lot of stuff and my entire approach to fandom and the show is learned and a sort of self-care practice to stay invested and stay positive and happy about it and NOT to become one of the many cases of fandom burn out. Because back in season 10 before I managed that I was seeing so much random panic and it always gave me an anxiety spike, and it was only reading the sensible voices and learning to have a measured response instead of following the loudest voice in the room creating the most compelling narrative - and fear can be very compelling in the sort of horror movie way in these cases - that I ever learned to recognise what was panic, what was someone else’s fatigue with the show and what was valid criticism without burning the house down. 

I really hope this can help and I’m not just rambling into the void, because I feel so bad for people caught up in this painfully and feeling now like they’re in such a vulnerable place with it, and getting hurt even before anything they actually fear comes to pass just on the thought of it happening. I REALLY feel for everyone sending these kind of messages who aren’t doing it wankily. I hope you can get some sort of peace with the show and canon because the thing is I’m definitely not wanky like “IT WILL NEVER BE CANON” but people say that trying to be well meaning to stop people hoping and getting hurt because they’ve been hurt in turn. And being positive but having no idea what’s going to happen and only hoping it’s in my favour, I just know no one can tell you what you need to hear about canon and every answer sucks and yet somehow in that little space in between all the sucky answers, I’m at least not upset with what *I* see in canon, which is useless to everyone EXCEPT me. >.> 

[sadisim]

Things i don’t like about the sims (3) community

keep in mind this is a general opinion formed by what i’ve seen happen in this community over the 5 years i’ve been here. this is not addressed to anyone specifically,but if you fit in the list you should second guess your actions to make this place just a tad friendlier :)

welcoming all simblrs post

literally:

people don’t give two shits about your stories. there’s usually the same 2 or 3 people who read your in-depth stories and comment nice things. the others don’t even bother liking if it’s more than 3 lines of text???

nobody gives a damn about sims stories that dont include images: people apparently need images to enjoy a story. have you ever read an actual book? don’t judge a story just because it lacks visual stimulation. the writing will be worth your time.

people don’t understand metaphors and deep posts. sometimes it’s really hard to express actual things through your posts,because people will either find it too complicated,too “over edited” or too sensitive

about sensitive content, sometimes people fail to tag stuff perfectly and people jump straight into anon hate instead of NICELY letting them know they should add a trigger tag or w/e makes them happy. like why can’t you be nice about it instead of sending anons?

people assume that if you don’t have good quality posts you’re shit and you don’t deserve anything: you.are.a.hypocrite.YOU were once new and YOU were the same.

the “popular”simblrs idea still flows through the community after years and years, even if many big simblrs decided to be nice and open up to people

those who don’t bother responding but complain nobody talks to them: if you didn’t take a hiatus every 5 seconds because nobody liked your post, and responded to messages, you’d receive attention from people. engage to engage.

people who complain about not having enough likes/comments/reblogs etc: you HAVE TO talk to people to have them be nice to you ! you can’t just expect people to flock to your blog and shower you with adoration. don’t expect people to just comment on your stuff and you can ignore them and that’s it. you make friends. you talk to people, you thank them, you comment on their posts. THIS is how you actually get involved in the community

according to simblr, if you’re new you’re automatically stupid? why do we not give chances to new people?why do we only follow 3 people and only message 2 and then complain nobody talks to us? help others join in, involve them in the community,COLLAB with people, chat with them. ENGAGE TO ENGAGE

“SEND ME ASKS!!! ASK ME THINGS!!!” but you never bother to send the person you reblogged it from an ask yourself. if you do that you’ll 100% sure get an ask from the previous poster. don’t be an ass

people who come to your blog,reblog your entire cc tag and never engage again: WHY? do you just come for cc?? you could take 3 seconds of your life to scroll through the first 5-10 posts of that person’s blog and send them some nice words of encouragement or leave them some notes instead of just running away?

every time a new project happens 700+people reblog,comment,like etc but nobody actually ends up joining??? and if they DO join, they go inactive. like??can you NOT???or if you go inactive could you at least just tell the owner of the project? you know, someone just like you is out there managing a project on their own(or with a team!) but you can’t be bothered to do that?rude

we all have personal lives and it is normal to take breaks, hiatus-es and so on,but it would be great if you leave to simply make a post about it. so many people go completely inactive or disappear and it worries others, maybe something happened to them?maybe they have issues? some people DO care and they would talk to you if you left/took a break

responding to anon hate,reblogging drama, publicly calling out people, posting about “not caring about simsecret”. ALL THESE THINGS add up to the HATE in this community. if y’all stopped , deleted those anons, avoided reblogging drama, ignored callouts and sorted it privately then this community WOULD be a better,cleaner place. trust me, i know!

catfishing,spamming the tags, begging for attention,asking for reblogs/promos: we are not 5 y/os anymore. stop being a fucking ignorant ass. it’s 2017 and y’all still do this. calm down.

ignoring people reaching out to you: LISTEN if you do this you’re a fucking asshole. people who kindly,politely,nicely reach out to you for something you did wrong or w/e are people who DO care and who want to sort things out in a civil way. if you ignore them and even respond negatively nothing will come out of it. don’t be a fucking twat

do you not like someone? FUCKING BLOCK THEM. this is all you have to do. nothing more or less.stop spreading ddrama,hate, saving message screenshots. be fucking mature.

people who post stuff just to fish compliments and dont ever bother responding or giving back love: you suck

“my askbox is full”nah, you’re either lazy or just really busy(which is understandable!) but being lazy about responding to people is just rude to me, maybe it’s just me. maybe.

the hateful anons: go suck an egg and chill out: this is a game and everyone does whatever they want with it.

people who care 0 for your ocs but they believe they are entitled to receive worshiping over theirs: can you calm down and realize what you’re doing?

“My dash is empty!!! everyone is dead!!!” there’s over 10 thousand people in this community who post every day. Do yourself a favor and follow more people if you want a full dash at all times. Click me Click me 2

To those tho can’t be bothered to leave a heart on simfileshare: you don’t deserve the cc you’re getting for FREE form people who put hours into their work. 

“BIG simblrs dont talk to me!!” they do. you’re just not messaging the right people ;) not all ‘big’ simblrs are rude ;)

people only care about cc. post a picture and it gets no notes, but post cc and it spreads like wildfire. what is wrong with you all??

Don’t be too shy to message people.Get involved with chats, talk with others, join projects, ENGAGE with the community to get feedback and notes. You’ll be getting nowhere if you don’t bother being kind and friendly with others :)

[jinyoungs-hipsdontlie]

a letter to you, jonghyun.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been hesitating and reconsidering alot regarding this but i felt the need to do it so here goes.

This is going to be my last farewell letter to Jonghyun. This is where i’m going to spill all my thoughts out on everything that has happened, in order for me to finally let go and heal from this situation. I didn’t intend for it to be this long, but i guess i really need to let it all out.

I want to finally move on from this. I want to get back to my usual self. It’s been terribly exhausting for me lately; emotionally, mentally and even physically. 

And no, this is not the last time i will post about Jonghyun. But this would be the final one filled with sadness and grief. After this, i want to only post bright and happy memories of him, just like how i want to remember him forever.

NOTE: It’s going to be EXTREMELY long (2800+ words i never knew i had to express) and kinda triggering so i put it under keep reading. Please ignore and scroll past this post if you know you might be triggered. I really dont want any of you guys to hurt more than you already have.

[death tw] [suicide tw] [suicidal ideation tw] [depression tw]

. . .

And now i think, it’s time. 

It’s time for me to finally let you go, my beloved puppysaurus. 

Fly high and mingle with the stars and the moon up there. Feel the happiness and peace that you’ve craved and deserve oh so much. Take care.

I will always love you, Jonghyun.

수고했어요. 정말 고생했어요.

May your beautiful soul rest in peace. ——————————–

Sigh.

Where do i even begin.

This is so hard.

…It still hurts. Everything hurts.

Hearing that you took your own life broke me. Death, especially of a loved one, has always been my biggest fear in life. I lost a schoolmate back in September 2012 through suicide. And just last year in November 2016, i lost my aunt to suicide. And 5 days ago, 18th December 2017, i lost you, my first ever idol through the same horrid way.  And that’s part of the reason why i think, that i felt the news of you leaving the world hit so close to home for me personally.

It opened up old wounds for me, and i thought that this time, instead of keeping strong and playing a facade, im going to let myself feel, to grieve and mourn and then recover. When i lost my aunt last year, i wasn’t able to grieve much. Because i had to stay strong for my mother who had just lost her beloved sister. I couldnt just stand and cry, i had to hold my mom’s arm and support her to walk during the funeral and prayers. So this time, i did not lie to myself that i was okay, because i wasnt at all.

The first 3 days. I havent been able to eat, just water and barely a few spoons of rice each day… eating so that i wouldn’t make my family worried about me. I havent been able to sleep well, just a few hours each day, because the image of you appears before me whenever i close my eyes. I couldnt even watch your videos or listen to your voice as it hurt too much. I couldn’t believe you were gone. I feel so lost, so empty, literally on autopilot mode.

But no, i’m not blaming you for taking your own life. I’m not angry at you, i’m not disappointed in you, i really have no negative feelings towards you. Because i know, that what im suffering now… is the tiniest fraction of how much you have. For how long you have been in pain and how much you hurt, i’m so sorry. 

I’m sorry that you had to go through all this. I’m sorry you felt so alone even though you’ve been practically screaming it out to us. I’m sorry that the world was not your fate. I’m sorry for everything.

It pains me so much, to know that you had everything planned out. You, suffering in the dark, still continued being the kindest person through it. You had waited for your member’s birthdays to be over, you waited until your solo concert series was over, you left a meaningful song for us fans… to cope with the loss of a loved one, knowing fully well that we would need it after hearing the news of your death. You left a note for your loved ones, you even messaged your beloved sister before it all. You have always been so kind. 

Reading that letter you left us, it broke me so much. I cant even find words to describe it because i never ever thought you have been in so much despair. I don’t advocate suicide or taking the life of ownself, but as your long time fan, i respect your decision. All i can say is, you did so well Jonghyun. It is indeed commendable that you made it this far, and you really did go through alot.  

I can’t help but feel so sorry even though i know that there’s nothing i could have done. It just hurts to know it was so bad, so bad that you had to end it yourself since it was too much for you to handle. I cant imagine the feelings that went through you that day, when you knew you were going to take your life. Did you eat your favourite meal knowing it’d be your last? Were you crying or just all numb? I tried to tell myself not to think so much about you on that day, but i couldn’t stop myself from thinking. 

Sigh.

The first three days was a nightmare. That monday evening, i cried so much. The initial shock and sorrow was too hard to handle. The news crashed down on me so hard. 

On the 19th, i remember breaking down when i came home after class. I broke down bad, crying so terribly hard.

On the 20th, I attended a vigil that we had for you here in Singapore. It was one of the hardest thing i’ve ever done. 

I tried to be strong, but seeing the other shawols at the florist also buying roses for you, i broke down. We all did. It was so heartbreaking. I had to fight so hard make sure i didn’t cry on the train as i made my way to the venue. 

I think the only way i could describe the vigil; bittersweet. Approx a thousand people came, of all ages, to pay our last respects to you in our own way. The lightsticks, the flowers, the letters, the shawols who relied on each other and grieved together. It was all so beautiful, but it hurt so much. 

I teared up when i was already in the queue. I held the lightstick and letters in one hand, and a red rose in the other. As i got closer, i brought the rose close to my nose. I took a deep breath, five times. Each time after i say a prayer for every member of SHINee. First you, then the rest by age order.

My walls finally broke, after i placed my flower near the picture of you and said a prayer. It was so hard. I couldnt stop the tears. And to the little angels over there who gave out tissues fo all of us who broke down, and giving free hugs to anyone in need, thank you. I cried in my sister’s arms. I’m not one who shows my tears infront of people i love, but this time i couldnt keep the strong facade. I had to let it all out. 

Shortly after, we all gathered close, and sang the chrous of your debut song, Replay. I tried to keep my voice stable, but i couldnt help the falter at the end. Also, like what you wanted and what you deserved to hear, we all told you ‘수고했어요 - You did well’ in unison. I couldn’t help but break down again at that. It was really so difficult to face reality, but that vigil had brought me the slightest bit of acceptance. Im thankful for my chance to attend it.

And then Thursday.

21.12.17, you were finally laid to rest. With all your loved ones by your side, i hope those last moments were not lonely for you. You are so loved Jonghyun, you really are.

I woke up that morning trembling for some reason. I checked my phone, and saw that none of my alarms had rung. Puzzled why i woke up so early, i looked at the time. And realized that it was just 10 minutes before your funeral procession.

I had to be in class in an hour and i knew i couldnt bear to see or hear anything about your funeral so i immediately uninstalled Facebook and Twitter. But when i came home that afternoon, i told myself, that i should just see the pictures/watch the procession. Not to see everyone mourning or what so ever, but for the sake of closure. For acceptance. I think i needed it. 

And so i did. And god, how much i cried. It broke me so much, i shook terribly while sobbing. It was the worst thing i have seen, every single second pained me. That was not the image i had when i said i wanted to see SHINEE has five again. What’s worse, Kibum’s letter to you was uploaded 10 minutes later. And damn, cue the tears again. He’s so strong and he really loves you so much, Jonghyun. 

After crying for longer than i’d like to admit, i drank a glass of water and stared up to the sky. I gave a final prayer to you, for you to rest in peace. 

A few hours later, strangely, i felt calmer. For the first time since your passing, i felt like i could feel you were finally in peace up there. I really hope you are. That evening, i managed to eat my first proper meal in 3 days. I guess i’m finally accepting it.

And yesterday. 

I woke up and even though it hurt, i told myself i have to move on. I still couldnt eat properly and skipped meals but i managed to eat dinner? And even though i was still pretty empty and lost, i agreed to watch a movie with my sister at the cinema. I was reminded of you throughout and i did feel pangs of sadness, but i could still enjoy it slightly. 

And last night, i managed to watch a video of you singing. I’ve seen it on my tumblr dash a few times and so i told myself to watch and listen to your voice again, instead of scrolling past. It was that video of you singing ‘This Woman’s Work’. Oh how much have i missed your voice! I would be lying if i said i didn’t cry, but i pulled through and watched til the end. The way you sang with all your heart, so beautiful, that’s the Jonghyun i have always loved. 

Then after, I listened to your song, ‘End of a day’. I already knew my dams would break with this one so i got my tissues ready. And cried hard did i. But i was able to listen to the end, paying so much attention once again to the tones of your voice and how beautiful it is. 

I don’t know how but somehow after listening to your voice, even though i cried through it, i felt much calmer and stronger. Sigh… look at you, even in heaven you’re still comforting me with your beautiful voice. An angel you really are. And last night after all that, for the first time this entire week, i managed to sleep well. For 10 hours straight. Call it wishful thinking, but im pretty sure it’s because i finally listened to your voice again. That calming voice which i love. 

And today, a Saturday, i woke up to Jinki’s letter. Look at him, the world’s greatest leader. Even in all this chaos, he’s still so strong and reliable. He loves you so much, Jonghyun. And so does all your members. 

I was also able to eat 2 full meals today. I drank more water than i had for each of the past 5 days. I  also watched funny videos of you, Jonghyun. I washed my hair, did my usual skincare routine which i paused since Monday. And now, here i am, about to sleep, with a facial mask to use once i post this.

I think i’m coping better these days.

Jonghyun, i’m doing well right? Please tell me i’m doing well too. Please continue to give me strength and happiness from up above, to help me move on and be myself again, and even in the future. Please be my guiding angel, like what you’ve been for the last 8 years to me. 

You’ve changed the colour of the moon and lamps to our favourite pearlescent aqua, you’ve given us so many signs that you’ve made it to heaven and the skies this past week, thank you for reassuring us fans that you’re doing well up there. Please look after us from above; most importantly, your mother, sister, the members, your friends and loved ones. 

…..

I just want to let you know again, that becoming a fan of SHINee and even more, a fan of you, Jonghyun, is still and will forever be one of the best decisions i have ever made. 

Do you remember that time i first heard SHINee? I saw a group of students performing Ring Ding Dong at a school event and thought it was great so i went to check it out.

Do you remember the time you made me smile and laugh so hard during Hello Baby? I watched the entire thing in 2 days on Youtube, it’ll always be my favourite, i can never forget you and your skinship with baby Yoogeunie.

Do you remember how i was so proud when you released your first solo album? It was amazing!

Do you remember how much happy tears i cried along with you and the boys when SHINee won Best Artist of the Year at Melon Music Awards in 2013? My heart was bursting with pride! 

Do you remember how i went to Seoul in October 2015 and September 2017 and took a picture/selfie next to every standee or advertisement of yours i saw? I didn’t care if i looked weird or funny cos as a fan, that was a golden moment as i never was able to get that close to you.

And of course, do you remember how ecstatic i was when i heard SHINee was coming to Singapore for Music Bank in August and Shilla Duty Free Beauty Concert in November? Who cares how overpriced the tickets were… I was the happiest person when i got them! 

Watching you perform and listening to your beautiful voice live not once but twice, is one of my happiest moments in life, and it will forever be.

…sigh… it sucks when reality hits me and i realize that i won’t be able to see you again, well not in this lifetime at least. But i can assure you, Jjong, that i will never ever forget you.

You may not be in the same form as me, but know that you are everywhere with me. In my heart, in my mind, in my music albums, in my phone’s gallery, in my old study notes that i scribbled your name, in my keychain hung on my bag, in my pearlescent aqua coloured portable charger and sweater, and ofcourse, in my beloved SHINee lightstick. 

I love you and i won’t forget you.

…Before i conclude, i want to say thank you. 

Thank you for being my first ever idol and my first love.

Thank you for making me smile and laugh til i cry.

Thank you for composing and writing such beautiful songs, your music as SHINee and as a solo artist has given me immense strength and happiness and comfort all these years.

Thank you for being an amazing role model, your actions/thoughts/words have inspired me to be a better person.

Thank you for being so strong all these years, and trying your best to fight the negativity.

Thank you for being the best son and the best brother to your mother and sister, your adoration and love for them are the sweetest thing ever.

Thank you for being the kindest, most loving and the most supportive brother to Onew, Key, Minho and Taemin; your love for them and their love for you have shown me what true friendship and family is. 

Thank you for everything, Jonghyun.

And now i think, it’s time. It’s time for me to finally let you go, my beloved puppysaurus. 

Fly high and mingle with the stars and the moon up there. Feel the happiness and peace that you’ve craved and deserve oh so much. Take care.

I will always love you, Jonghyun.

수고했어요. 정말 고생했어요.

May your beautiful soul rest in peace.

[archivistsrock]

Tutorial for Tumblr gif sizes

Some people have asked for help on how to properly size gifs and edits when creating tumblr posts. So I’m going to try and explain it (in crazy detail!) here. It’s going to get complicated bc tumblr sucks, but please bear with me.

BASICS 1. You can have anywhere from 1 to 10 edits/gifs per set. 2. Each gif has to be under 3MB. If it’s bigger than that, they won’t move.  3. You can have anywhere from 1-3 gifs per row. (remember that row is –> and columns are  ↓ ) 4. All gifs in the SAME row have to be the same height. 5. The gifs in row 1 can be a different height than the gifs in row 2, etc. 6. Sizes:               Old: 500px | 245px | 160px               New: 540px | 268px | 177px 

(I have basic giffing tutorials [here] and [here])

(Script everyone should install regardless of whether you make your own gifs or just like to look at them [HERE]. It will make posts on your dash look better!)

OLD SIZES VS. NEW SIZES This is what I’m referring to when I say tumblr sucks. A while back (omg 3 years now???), tumblr changed their code and it affected how sets appeared on people’s dashes. Basically, it widened the post width. Along with this, tumblr was resizing people’s gifs to in order to fit the wider posts. This made everyone’s gifs look blurry (especially apparent with text…the gifs just don’t look “crisp”). People were PISSED. It was bad. So people figured out NEW sizes to make the gifs so they look good on people’s dashes. Sounds straight forward, right? WRONG. 

While the posts on the dash got bigger, posts on people’s blogs (your main page) are still the old size. So if you started using the new sizes, they looked good on the dash, but looked bad on your blog page (because tumblr needs to resize the bigger gifs to fit in the smaller post width). Basically, when tumblr resizes gifs (up OR down), it makes them look shittier than they really are.

So now every gif-maker must face a choice: Do you want your posts to look good on the dash (use the new sizes!) or on your/people’s main blog pages (use the old sizes!)? This is s shitty choice to have to make. Most people see your stuff via the dash, so honestly most people might want to use the new sizes. But it just makes me super depressed to go to my page and scroll through my blog and see my posts look shitty. Also, I harbor illusions of grandeur and think that people actually go to my page and scroll through old stuff (lol right). I want my stuff to look good when they do this. SO I STILL USE THE OLD SIZES! So if my posts look kind of blurry and shitty to you on the dash…this is why. If you reblog something of mine and look at it on your page, it should look better (unless your theme is one that makes posts 400 px or blows them up super huge. If that’s the case, WHY??? WHY DO YOU USE THAT THEME??? ::cries::).

Also, THERE’S A STYLISH SCRIPT EVERYONE SHOULD INSTALL [x] that makes everyone’s posts look good on your dash regardless of whether the gif-maker is using the old or new sizes. I installed this, so I can live in ignorance and pretend like everyone is seeing my gifs look good instead of crappy. In this case, ignorance is bliss. lol. I also delude myself into believing that EVERYONE has this script installed, so the fact that I’m using the old sizes doesn’t matter bc they look fine on everyone’s dash bc everyone uses the script (REALITY is that most people don’t use it but SHHHHH leave me alone!).

In case you’re curious and want to investigate this, I use the old sizes and I know @mabesies uses the new sizes. So you can compare how our sets look on your dash. If you don’t have the Stylish script installed, Mabel’s should look nice and crisp and mine will look blurry and gross. Then go to my blog page and look at posts I made vs. posts of Mabel’s that I reblogged. Mine should look crisp, and hers will look a bit blurry. NO FAULT OF EITHER MINE OR MABEL’S!!! Just stupid tumblr. >.<

OLD SIZES 500px | 245px | 160px

The total width of the post is 500px. The 10px (seen below) indicates the white space between the gifs, which is why when you have two gifs in a row, they’re 245px, not 250px – you need to account for the 10px of space between the two gifs: 245 + 245 + 10 = 500px. And for 3 gifs you have: 160 + 10 + 160 + 10+ 160 = 500px.

If you want one gif in a row, it needs to be 500px wide. It’s height can be anywhere from 1px to…idk. 810px I think??? (I really am not sure the max height for gifs, so don’t take this as absolute fact)

But honestly, If you’re making a 500 px gif and you want it to be more than a few frames, you’ll probably aim for the height to be around 300 or less, otherwise it’s really hard to keep it below the 3MB limit. You can have a post with just one 500px gif. Or you can make a post with ten 500px gifs (and anything in between), but they each need to go in their own row. When I make 500px sets, I usually make them all the same height bc I think it looks aesthetically pleasing, but if you wanted them to be different heights, that’s totally cool. The top gif height can be 200px, the second gif height can be 300 px, the third 250px, etc. But the width on all should be 500px.

If you want want 2 gifs in a row, they need to be 245px wide and their height can be anywhere from 1px to 400px. (I think this is the height limit)

Each gif in the same row needs to be the same height. So, for example, If you have a gif in the top row that is 245 x 150, then the gif next to it ALSO HAS TO BE 245 x 150. But if you also have 2 gifs in the second row, they don’t also have to be 150px. They can be any other height (between 1-400). But again, the two gifs next to each other (in the SAME ROW) need to be the same height. So your second row of gifs might include 2 gifs that are 245 x 300. It doesn’t matter that the gifs in row 1 and the gifs in row 2 have different heights. Every row can be different heights, as long as the gifs IN THE SAME ROW are the same height. So you CAN do this:

Same rules apply for 3 gifs in a row. They need to be 160px wide and their height can be anywhere from 1-400???px. (I honestly aren’t sure how tall they can be…I never make tall skinny gifs and this is always tough info to find out. It might be less than 400px??). All 3 gifs in the same row need to be the same height. But different rows can be different heights (same concept as above). 

And you can mix and match all you want, but remember you can only have a total of 10 gifs per set. So you can have a set that looks like:

Top row: 1 gif that’s 500px x 250px Second row: 3 gifs that are 160px x 200 px Third row: 3 gifs that are 160px x 300px Fourth row: 2 gifs that are 245px x 190px Fifth row: 1 gif that is 500px x 150px

That’s 10 gifs, so you can’t have more. Notice that all the rows have different heights, but all the gifs in the same rows are the same dimensions.

NEW SIZES 540p | 268p | 177p

The SAME rules apply here as above, you just need to substitute the new numbers where the old ones are. ALSO NOTE: the space between the gifs is only 4 px, not 10. That’s why the math is a bit different. Just roll with me here. Don’t think about it, just accept it. lol

COMPLICATING FACTOR: For reasons I don’t want to get into, If you’re doing 3 gifs in a row, the middle gif should actually be 178px, while the 1st and 3rd gif in that row should be 177px. This is super annoying, and I don’t know how many people do this, but if you want to be a perfectionist, there you go. Here’s a good post for new sets: http://kimwoobinseyebrows.tumblr.com/post/139232304438

[mintyisms]

I’ve tried quite a few different methods for iconing during my time in the rpc, but I always end up going back to Photoscape because to me it’s easier and more intuitive than other methods that I’ve found. This tutorial covers the basics of making base icons and using the batch editor to edit them, including how I personally do the borders on my icons with an aside about rainbow borders since someone asked me about it a while ago. I’ve never done a tutorial before, so hopefully it all makes sense. If not, I’m happy to answer questions!

This tutorial is specifically for Photoscape X (free version) for Windows 10, which you can find in the Windows Store. There’s also a version for Mac. If you’re running a different version of Windows, you should still be able to follow the same basic process in Photoscape 3.7 but some of the interfaces are different and it lacks some of the newer tools/features.

Part 1: Making Base Icons

The first thing you’re going to need is your source images from which to make icons, whether saved on your computer or copy/pasted from somewhere. I’m working from screencaps I previously took, so when I go into the photo editor I navigate to the folder they’re in using the navigation pane on the left side. Clicking on an image in the bottom left pane brings it up in the editor. On the right side of the screen choose crop. 

You’ll get a pop up of preset ratios you can crop your image to as well as options for custom ratios/dimensions and free cropping. I intend to make 100x100 icons when all is said and done, so I've chosen the 1x1 option. Then click and drag on the image to select what you want to keep and click crop at the bottom of the pop up.

And now we have a base icon! We should save it. You can click the save button in the bottom right corner of the screen or ctrl+s.

To save, you’ll get this pop up window. If you want to overwrite the source image with your newly cropped one, click the first “save” option. “save to” saves to a specified folder with the image under the same name. “save as” lets you change the name and also choose what folder it saves to. How you save and name your base icons is completely up to you but I personally have a “dump” folder set as my “save to” option and save them that way for the sake of expediency because of how often I do this. 

Now go back to the beginning and repeat until finished with all source images.

Part 2: Editing

Now that we have all of our base icons, we’ll switch to the Batch Editor. You can either drag your images from the folder into the center (ctrl+a will select all in the folder to be dragged at once) or you can click open in the bottom right corner and do so that way.  The image in the center acts as a preview and will display any changes you make. In the scroll box above it you can click on a different icon to change the preview image. On the right you’ll see several drop down menus. I’m not going to cover the crop section because I never use it, but we’ll go through the others.

Resize. You’ll see several options for how to resize your images. I find it’s easiest to adjust the width so I have it set to 100 and the image will resize accordingly.

Color Mode. Pretty self explanatory.

Filter. Allows you to adjust all kinds of light and color settings. It’s just a matter of playing around until you find something you like. 

Film. This section gives you many options for further coloring and other effects. These can be layered on top of each other by using multiple slots at once. When you use the editor for the first time, all of the slots will have + instead of a check box. To see all of the options, click the + or (once you’ve used a slot) check the box and click the film selection to change it.

This, unfortunately, is one of the places where I wish I had the full version of the program because you’ll notice as you scroll through that a majority of the options are marked ‘pro’, meaning you’ll have to shell out $30 to use them all. But the free version still gives you a decent amount to work with. At the top of this popup you can choose the type of effect you want to add and it will switch to a different tab to show you those options. At the bottom you can use the slider to adjust the amount of the effect. Depending on what type of effects you’re looking at you’ll also see some other options (flipping/rotation in the light leaks tab, for example). When you’re satisfied, click apply.

As I mentioned earlier, you can layer multiple effects on top of each other by using multiple slots in the Film drop down. For example: two film effects and then a texture.

Part 3: Frame

The next two drop downs are Insert and Frame. For the sake of this tutorial I’m going to go a little out of order and talk about Frame first. You’ll notice that there is only one slot for this section which means you can only choose one of these options at a time. This is the first option for adding borders, though not the route I personally go. In the pop-up, the frames tab has a bunch of pre-made frames you can choose from, some with extra options that will appear below the scroll-box with the frames. The borders tab lets you round corners and add simple borders and shadows. I don’t have a lot of experience with this option so you’ll have to mess around with it yourself if you want to go that route.

If you want to make circle icons, the shapes tab is where you can do so. There are also a plethora of other shapes you can choose from as well; all the basic and speech bubble shapes are included in the free version and one shape in each of the other groups as well. When you choose a shape, you can choose either a solid color, a pattern, or transparent background. Also, if you choose to follow my border technique covered below, you may want to increase the margin (slider to the left) so as not to cut part of your border off.

When you’re satisfied with your choice, click apply.

Part 4: Insert

Now we’ll double back to Insert. Again, we have several slots here to work with like we did in the Film section so we can have more than one object. When you click the + you’ll be presented with these choices. 

Sticker. Gives you the option of inserting clipart that comes with the program. When you select one you’ll be able to move/adjust the sticker however you wish on the preview image. 

Image. This allows you to insert images saved on your computer as an object on your icons. This could be a symbol that represents your muse or even a custom texture or pre-made border. If you search through various graphics/rph tags you can find a lot of pre-made borders and textures to put on top of icons like this post. Once you insert the image you can move/adjust as you see fit.

Clipboard Image. Same as Image except it’s whatever you’ve got on your clipboard.

Figure. Lets you insert a host of shapes and figures. This is how I make my borders, so I’m going to go through it in that context. When you first click figures you’ll get the window below. Because I’ve made my icons circular, I’m going to choose the hollow circle on top to insert that figure. If I was doing square, for example, I’d choose the hollow square.

Once I’ve inserted the image, I adjust it to the correct size by clicking and dragging the edges and center it by clicking on the middle bubble in the square of the top left of the pop up (you may have to click a different bubble and then click the middle to get it to work). Then I start editing using the other options. (Side note that the pop up is essentially what the options for sticker and image look like with a few minor differences.)

Here’s a run down of the options that I regularly adjust:

Color: You can either make the fill a solid color or a pattern.

Type: Allows you to change the figure from a solid line to dotted/dashed lines.

Thickness and Opacity: Adjust sliders to adjust thickness and opacity.

Outline: Adds an outline to the figure. Allows you to adjust color and thickness.

Outer Glow: Adds a glow to the outside of the figure. Allows you to adjust color, thickness, and amount of blurring.

Gradient: Changes the fill color to a gradient. If you came for the rainbow borders, your time has come! Under this drop down you have three options for coloring: preset gradient, two color, and single color. You can also adjust the angle of the gradient by using the angle slider.

If you click the first option you’ll be presented with all the preset gradients. Below the scroll box you can adjust the chosen gradient by moving the sliders along the bar. Below that you can adjust the opacity of different parts of the gradient by dragging the line down at a specific point, with the top of the box being 100% opacity and the bottom being 0%.

For the second and third options, you can click the boxes to choose the color(s) you want to use. To the right of the color options are the options for how the colors appear in the gradient. Pictured is the two color options, the single color options are similar.

Text. Allows you to insert text. As you’ll notice, many of the options are the same as those of the other objects with the addition of text specific options. You can type your text in the black text box (has a G in the picture) and change your font and size, bold/italic/underline/strikethrough, text alignment, and color. 

Step 5: Save and Enjoy!

Before you save, make sure to check the preview for all of the icons to make sure they’re to your liking by either clicking on them individually or scrolling through using your arrow keys. Then click the save button in the bottom right corner or ctrl+s.

And you get this save pop up. I have my save location set as an output subfolder (which Photoscape will automatically create) in the folder the base images are currently in, but you can save them to the same folder or choose a custom folder as well. Other options allows you to choose the image format and (if you’ve chosen jpg) the quality of the image. As for naming, I prefer to use the Advanced Naming tab and choosing <sequence> from the drop down menu as this will name/save the icons in numerical order. In the picture I also have ‘a’ as a prefix for something I was doing earlier and forgot to change. So with the settings I have below, my icons saved to the ...garnet\output folder as a001.png, a002.png, a003.png, a004.png, and a005.png.

**EDIT: If you are making shaped icons with a transparent background, DO NOT save as a JPEG because the format does not support transparent pixels and it will replace them with white instead. I’d recommend PNG in that case.

Be sure to check your icons before you exit the program by either looking at them in your photo viewer or uploading a couple to a draft just to see how they’ll look on the dash. Sometimes things look a little different between the preview in the batch editor and the saved version.

In the event that you want to make more icons in the future, it’s useful to save your settings so that everything stays exactly the same with your next batch. Click on the three dots next to the save button and then save settings on the menu. Then just give your settings a name and you’re ready to go for next time! All you’ll have to do is click load settings instead and select your saved settings.

So there you have it! Once you get the hang of working in Photoscape it becomes really simple to make icons and the more you play around the more you’ll learn how to do. In the future, I’ll probably do further tutorials on other specific things I’ve learned how to do as well as how I make gifs, but for now, enjoy your iconing! And if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

[flowerpuffs]

here's a little embarassing thing about me: i am! so! obsessed! with! my! gadgets! remember how i keep on telling you i've been really busy with my preps for CETs and how my parents imposed strict curfews and schedules to maximize the little time i have to study? yep, that's not exactly how it's been working out with my life right now. i do study but i occasionally check on my phone, respond on messages on tumblr, tweet things, watch 2 or 3 unrelated youtube videos after finishing like 3 or 4 academic ones and many many more! this is why as most of you might have noticed, despite being "busy," i still regularly respond to your messages, check on my tag, reblog your stuff, despite running a queue. it's equally embarassing as it is horrifying. and i feel terrible about it. although i must admit that i've had a pretty legitimate and respectable outcomes, at the end of the day, i know i can do better. and guess who's the culprit who keeps on distracting me? yep, that's right: my one and only treasured possesion- my cellphone. two, three, or four years ago, my mother began noticing this quite destructive addiction of mine. she will often times call me out, saying things like: "hey, you should spend more time with your family." or "i will definitely confiscate your phone if you still act like this in a week." and of course i was threatened as heck because i dont want to lose my cellphone. so, i will pretend i don't use it in the morning but later that night, when im all alone in my room, you will see my hiding under my blankets laughing all by myself because of dank memes™ or googling cute dog pictures. being the 'milennial' and 'god they're just being lame because they're obviously not from my generation' am, i did not know then the extent of my obsession. not until recently! there is nothing wrong with using technology or gadgets. if anything, they help us become more productive and practically make our lives way, way easier! however, like what they all say, a little much of something is not a good thing! and the same goes with my so-called gadget addiction. while scrolling through my feed one time, i stumbled upon this article written by emma on messyheads entitled "cant call, im in cuba" published two months ago. and i was frankly baffled. she opened her article with a scientific study concluding that an average person spends right about 300 times a day checking on their phone. yep, you got that right: 300 freaking times of checking on my emails, my twitter, tumblr, responding to messages, et. and while that figure might seem surprising to you. i've read another article stating that an average person spends right about 5 hours per day just doing their thing on their mobile! yep, that's right five freaking hours of looking on that lil bright screen! and just like what emma said on her article, there's way too many things that you could do on the span of just endlessly scrolling through your dash like finishing an entire course for my CETs preps/reviews, cooking 10 different dishes, working on my painting, working on my embroidery skills, finishing a harry potter book, etc! and you know what this literally made me realize? technology defeated the purpose of helping me become productive because instead, i end up being even more unproductive. and did achieve anything from all the things that i've been? absolutely nothing. the even funnier part is: i have absolutely no idea what i do with those five freaking hours! i mean, time flies so fast when you're enjoying something, that's true but i dont even know if im exactly enjoying what im doing because if anything, it only makes me feel even more guilty and terrible about it! i already have no idea where this text post is going but i guess while writing this i was able to realize a couple of things: my patience significantly declines and i tend to appreciate little things less once get too caught up with my phone. 1. patience: the thing about me is i am an incredibly, commendably patient person. i wait for my turn and i believe in its power and value that is fundamental in becoming an ethical person. however although this is very embarrasing to admit, i have realized that using my phone massively declined my patience. how did i know? well, it took me an entire day to write this post because when im done with like a sentence or two, i tend to get distracted with my notifications and wander off of my notepad and start interacting with people. i know there is nothing wrong with that because the world practically revolves around the internet right now. but unfortunately, when i became addicted with my mobile, i am no longer just using it because i have something important to accomplish; rather it became an itch that needs to be scratched and i use it just because i want to instead. 2. appreciation: this is quite frankly probably the saddest part about my cellphone addiction. you know how much i love the little things about people and the world, right? yep. however, due to this addiction, i tend to focus more on my cellphone screen and not the beautiful things around me. i mean, sure you can google #goals stuff or see even more aesthetic things on tumblr, but i think there is still nothing more beautiful than having the chance to see something magical first hand! furthermore, when im out with my family for dinner, i have realized an even more heartbreaking thing: we no longer converse the way we used to! because instead of communicating or asking for menu first, we ask for for the wifi password and live our social media life instead. i mean, sure we still talk but im not that stupid to not realize that it's not like it used to be when my brother and i were 11 or 10. it's an ugly realization that i hope would eventually change. i have nothing against the usage of social media as a platform to express yourself or to get friends from all over the world. i believe, as a matter of fact, that it is one of the most revolutionary things that this planet was able to create and i frankly believe that it will be for a long, long time. however, i think it is also still very important to shut out of it once in a while, give yourself a break, a breather, and just enjoy your life the way our ancestors or grandparents would even without the internet. try turning off your gadgets once in a while and i promise you will see a significant difference and feel more comfortable with your own skin! because although it feels good to live a life that's filled with so many notifications, attention, and validation from all over the world, it feels even better to just have a little space outside the boundary with fresh air, lots of trees, and flowers, where you could be yourself.

[supertam87]

My Sassenach - Chapter 10

Hello my lovelies! While scrolling through my dash the other day, i came across a gif-set of this interview and it got me thinking. It’s been an age since I posted any fic, so I decided it was just about time.

As always all my other J/C and S/C fics can be found here.

Love at First Sight Isn’t Real

Did she believe in love at first sight? No, of course not. How could she? Such a ridiculous notion. How could one meet a perfect stranger and just instantly love them. Love. Real love? Lust, yes. That answer felt comfortable to her. Safe. True. Obtainable. She had felt instant lust for several people in her life. Sometimes she had acted on it. Other times not. But Love? No, love at first sight didn’t exist.

Except it did.

And now she knew it. Love at first sight snuck up on you. It crept on silent feet, sidelong, so as to prevent you from seeing it coming. It didn’t tap you on the shoulder or whisper in your ear. It didn’t ease you into the idea, giving you time to let it settle and find it’s home. It overtook you in an instant. A literal instant. It consumed you, besieged you until you were inundated with emotions so powerful, so real that you couldn’t even take air into your lungs. The ability to breathe, to think, to respond simply stopped. You were left with only love. Overwhelming, uncontrollable, insistent love. It could be denied. It could. But not for long. She had denied it, when it swept into her life like a tsunami, washing away all the order and organization and control she had spent more than a decade perfecting.

Her life was just how she had meant it to be. The early days were terrifying, stepping off an abyss into a career she hadn’t anticipated, traveling the world in a way she had always wanted but never expected. It wasn’t always an easy life, or a calm one and true, she had experienced setbacks. Money that should have come but didn’t, causing legal pursuits that went nowhere. Relationships that should have progressed but ended instead. She’d had the overall instability of a nomadic existence and it had suited her. She’d had ups and downs, imperfections and messiness, but it all fit within the confines of her expectations. She had found success, had developed a life and a circle of friends so tight that she would never be alone, never without support. Truly, life was good. Even the terrifying and risky change of careers at an age that any expert would tell you was not ideal seemed to fit. It worked. It may have caused temporary unsettled feelings, but it all meshed within the scheme of her controlled and ordered, beautiful and rather exotic existence.

So when she was asked, during a silly game, for another round of promotion whether or not she believed in love at first sight, she panicked. She was well practiced at covering panic, or any other emotion for that matter. As a model there was no room for 'Caitriona' on the runway, only sass and sex and skin. That’s what she was paid for and that’s what she had learned to provide. Mastered, really. It was serving her well in this newfound form of fame. She was adept at being ‘Cait’. Just as she had learned what she needed to project on the runway, so she was learning what she had to give as an actress, always laughing, joking, answering endless inane questions on repeat and deflecting those that veered too close, with a grace and charm that she was finally old enough to admit came naturally to her. She was made for this. So why did she panic?

The question had caught her off guard, is all. She didn’t want to think about it. It wasn’t panic. It was the fact that true love was a romantic fairy tale that didn’t exist.

Except it did.

And Sam was sitting right next to her, warm and real, smelling like love and sex and contentment. She’d read all the descriptions on-line about what Sam smelled like. Woods, musk, sweat, spice, pine, man. Women went on at length about his smell and what cologne he wore and fantasized about what they would do if they ever got the chance to smell him. She would love to be incensed by that, offended by a sense of female propriety that disdained throwing herself at a man, or objectifying him in that way, except that she had smelled him for the first time, too. She remembered that smell. Creeping through the air, ghosting through her nostrils, into her lungs, dispersing through her respiratory system, traveling through her blood into every cell in her body, changing her DNA, modifying her code, and reprogramming her brain. His scent was insistent. It demanded acknowledgement. Caitriona was unable to describe it in terms of individual smells, though. It wasn’t ‘woodsy’ or ‘spicy’ or ‘athletic’. He smelled like security, comfort, companionship, strength.  To her, Sam smelled like forever. Maybe it was that early infatuation with how good he smelled that confused her and made her think love at first sight existed. Maybe that’s why she panicked. She was asked, and he was there, insistent, demanding acknowledgement. But he’d been joking, right? Playing along for the cameras. How silly. Love at first sight wasn’t real.

Except it was.

Sam had leaned in to her, playfully gazing at her like a puppy in love. Only she could see right into he eyes, those endless pools of blue, deep and fathomless, full of mystery and energy. So much energy. She’d never met anyone with such an endless supply of enthusiastic energy. He was like a bloody Energizer Bunny. He kept going and going and going. Sometimes it annoyed her, like at 5am when he was up for the blasted gym and all she wanted to do was curl into him and sink deeper into the quilts. Most of the time, it amazed her. It inspired her. She was motivated and hardworking, but she was nothing compared to the human tornado that was Sam. He ripped through life, absorbing it’s essence, taking in every experience, always learning from them and then finding a reason to give, everywhere, to everyone. It's like he had so much inside of him that he had to keep giving things away so he didn't explode or combust. He gave everything, except that part of him that was secret, guarded, hidden away from everyone, even his closest friends.

How had she come to know about that part of him? She told herself that she saw it in those eyes, that she'd read it when he looked deep into her own endless blue pools, but that wasn't quite right. True, he had the ability to look deeply into everyone he met, not that he always chose to do so, but she was pretty sure that not everyone who got seared by his gaze saw what she saw. Anyway, it was more like she absorbed it, rather than saw it. She didn't see his soul, she simply knew it. She couldn't explain it, but it was a part of her, as soon as she became aware of its existence. Like there was a void in her that she'd never even paid attention to. It didn't hurt; she wasn't searching for a way to fill it. In fact, she'd never even noticed it until one day, one instant it was filled and she had a sure knowledge that she had always been waiting for it to be filled – that with this completion deep within herself, she would never be the same, and it could never be undone. If she ever tried to explain this, even to her dearest friends, they would laugh and pretend to gag at the sappiness of the description, just as she would if one of them tried to tell her the same. She was far too sophisticated to believe that souls, if they even existed, could connect like that, in some crazy, instantaneous love bond. That wasn't possible.

Except it was.

She'd kissed him, already knowing. She'd actually had her eyes open. She watched his lips, full and soft, parted ever so slightly, pause just a breath away from her own, his fugitive tongue flicking out ever so briefly over his bottom lip. Was it a nervous response? No matter, she found it endearing and erotic and she wanted more than just a flicker of that tongue. As heat started to spark and shimmer inside her, he touched her and his lips were as delicious as they looked. She'd been mad to find out how he tasted. Oh, how he tasted. Sweet and rich, warm sunshine and the sharp tang of, what? Vinegar, citrus? He was mellow and spicy with just enough salt to bloom the flavors. He tasted like nothing on earth she had ever experienced, and she could kiss him, taste him, his lips, his skin, is essence every day and never tire of it. To her, Sam tasted like forever.  The kiss was slow and so sweet. Not tentative, but methodical, searching, seeking, learning. The heat that flashed and sizzled followed the new pathways in her body, the ones that had been forged when she had first smelled him and been forever altered.

She was hot and dizzy, her brain a jumble of muzzy half thoughts when Sam had stopped kissing her, moving to nuzzle her neck, just beyond her jawbone, and whispered her name, 'Caitriona', with such raw sexual urgency that every nerve in her body exploded and she felt her legs literally go weak. But that was just lust, right? The fact that his scent and taste and touch seared her and erased the memory of any other person from her life just meant lust – didn't it?

It was a stupid question. It was a stupid game. Sam loved those stupid games. He loved to smirk and flirt and be naughty, knowing that it would get everyone and their Aunt Fanny riled up, which did nothing but benefit the show. He loved acting just a little bit too familiar with her, knowing that it's what everyone would be talking about as soon as the interview aired. But acting – that was the key word, wasn't it? Sam was just acting. She was just acting.

Except they weren't.

Caitriona had learned on that day when Sam blew into her life with destructive, bruising, tempestuous force that everything was changed. That the moment she saw him, smelled him, tasted him, felt him, she was uncontrollably and irreversibly in love. Just like that. Almost like love at first sight.

=====

Caitriona sighed and dried her hands before leaving the ladies room. She was flustered and prickly. She was in danger of picking a fight with Sam, over nothing, simply to justify her irritable feelings. Things like this never flustered him. It was so annoying! She walked passed him towards the exit without looking at him and he jogged to catch up. He stopped her with a hand at the small of her back. She turned, brows furrowed, ready to bite, but the look on his face stopped her from lashing out. He didn't say anything, merely opened his arms and enveloped her. His hands, his beautiful, graceful hands smoothed her hair, caressed her back, and she sighed, allowing herself to sink into the comfortable security of his embrace.

He didn't ask. He already knew. He simply held her, and whispered into her ear, "Caitriona, don't worry. It's not theirs. It never will be. Even if they know, even if a hundred articles are written and the paps follow us for pictures, it will never be theirs. They can never really know. Call it love, call it lust, don't call it anything, it's doesn't matter. Whether you believe in it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not, it’s real. One day, your heart will drown out your brain, and you’ll stop torturing yourself. This is love at first sight. This is forever.  In the meantime, I’m here and I love you. What you said back there is right; love does take time to grow and develop. But it doesn’t take time to exist. It existed the second I met you. Neither of us could have stopped it. Now we grow it. We nurture it. We spend the rest of our lives feeding it and then reaping the harvest."

Caitriona hugged him closer, burying her face in the forever of his scent and his taste and his feel. Love at first sight did exist. It was real. She could never answer the whys. Why it happened to her. Why she got to have this man, in this life. Why she got to know him so completely and be known by him in the same way. Maybe one day she could be as carefree and unquestioning as Sam, but for now she would give him all her worries and he would carry them – for as long as she needed. And when she finally got to that place where forever didn't terrify her, and love at first sight could exist without justification, he would be there, and he would still love her. And that, she knew, was what love at first sight really was. It was love forever.

[jessthenot-so-hotmess]

So, some like, blog changes and whatnot

So I just cut my following down from 2400 to a little over 500. Which I'll likely be narrowing down a bit more in a day or so. I tried keeping mutuals I engage with a lot, and some blogs who like, I like for several reasons instead of one or two (so I dropped several hundred thirst follows lmao). Apologies if you were cut. If so, try to like, engage with me more and I'll see about refollowing? Anyway the reason I did this is: as it stands the most current like, "routine" I had on here (which in and of itself says enough about like, how attached to it I've been (I try not to use "addicted" in cases where it's not applicable anymore) imo) was as follows: • Have posts from like 40-someodd people who's blogs I visit pretty regularly in drafts (because this was easier than sifting through 2500 on this app, especially when every blog you go to and cone out it like, has to re-upload the damned following list). • Visit every-other posts one day, every-other-other posts the next. • Do this 2 or 3 days straight, then organize my queue depending on how many posts there are (100-120 would mean I'd not have to do it again for 2 days, if I split the 20 into 10 scheduled before the queue and 10 after. Same with 150-180 but that was 3 days) So, the morning "routine" alone often took like 3 hours initially. Then 1.5 to 2 when I chopped my like, "haunts" or w/e to a couple dozen. The organizing my queue took another hour or 2. So depending on if it was a queue organizing day or not, that's anywhere from 1.5 to 4 hours a day. So I figure I'll try to do it more like how most do. Pop on for a bit here and there, reblog some stuff right away, queue some others (I'll also be changing the queue posting. 50 posts over 5 hours is a bit much), and don't bother organizing the queue anymore. "But Jess, why does that involve cutting a bunch of followers off?" Because with the followers I cut plus the 500-something currently, that'd be a good I dunno, 1000 or so I'd still be following. My dash would be swamped and I'd probably find myself worrying about "missing something" and try scrolling back down to where I'd last left off. Like I said, I might refollow a good portion of you though. Depends how many of the remaining I shave off (it's sad but rn about 85-90% of them are relating to a sideblog of mine. But since most of the stuff those blogs post can be found in tags I'm tracking, I don't really need to be following them yknow? It's kinda redundant. I did the same on Deviantart actually. Though even with that I'm still following like, 2.3k people I think? Which I'm also slowly whittling down X.x). Cause I mean I don't want my dash too busy, but I don't want it like, dead if I drop my following down to like, 50 people yknow? It's a work in progress. I guess. I dunno, it's 4:20 in the morning lmao. Anyway so to reiterate: If you were cut, the more we engage via messaging or comments or post additions or hell, even just like, enough activity (there's several of you who like, reblog nearly everything from me, for example) or whatever else, the more likely I'll refollow you back sooner. If I don't sooner, I might later depending on how many more I drop. If I don't at all, it's nothing against you it's just like, I probably only like one sort of content you reblog. I'm no longer sorting/organizing my queue, and tbh that and "reblogging in the moment" are gonna be like, split 50/50 during the times I'm on. Speaking of, I've no particular set "schedule" in mind for when I'll pop on here now so I could/likely will be on at varying times, or not at all on some days. Also, if you wish to unfollow, please feel free to. I won't hold it against you and wish you the best (frankly, this paragraph applies even to people who currently wish to stay decide to unfollow someday), and I thank and appreciate you for having followed me as long as you did. OK I think that's it for rn thanks, goodnight