#soliloquizing

[shores-of-esgalduin]

who knows if i'll ever properly write up this thought but there's something that lives in my brain about the parallels between melian leaving beleriand after thingol's death and luthien leaving to follow beren to the halls (and later to death). sometimes i wonder if she learned from her daughter

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Does Rafal have Thalassoharpaxophobia? (Google it...)

Note:

This will take a dark turn. Rafal did not appreciate your question.

⸻

[They respond in unison:]

Rhian: Yes. / Rafal: No.

Rafal: [He glares at Rhian.] I don't fear pirates—they just don't sit right with me. Traitors, the whole lot of them!

Rhian: It's a phobia. Own up to it.

Rafal: Do you see me quaking in fear around them? No, I do not. There. That is your answer: I don't have a phobia.

Rhian: Just because you don't expose your fear doesn't mean you don't feel it.

Rafal: I don't have feelings.

Rhian: Not true. It seems you can feel rage perfectly well. And you're a sore loser.

Rafal: Again, you're wrong. I display emotions to my advantage. That doesn't mean they're real.

Rhian: Fair enough. But I still think you have a phobia, as brilliant a liar that you are.

Rafal: [He finally snaps.] It's not a phobia, Rhian!

Rhian: Whatever you say... and yet—how do you explain why you shoo every single pirate away?

Rafal: It's not because of me. It's-it's because of you! Just how do you expect me—us—to do our work when those foul pests are raising hell on School grounds? They're bad influences.

Rhian: And you're not one?

Rafal: I thought this was about them, not me.

Rhian: [stares at his brother in askance]

Rafal: Fine. I'll admit I'm a bad influence, but it's my job to be one. Think of the students. Besides, you're immune to me by this point, so it doesn't matter either way. Pirates are another story. They do affect you.

Rhian: So now you say you care about the students? What next? Another brazen, bald-faced lie?

Rafal: I'm done with this conversation. For the record, I do not have a phobia.

Rhian: No! Come back! It just became interesting!

[Rafal stalks off.]

[Rhian waits for him to be out of hearing range.]

Rhian: He definitely has a phobia.

Rafal: [shouting] You don't get the last word! I do.

Rhian: [shrugs] Petty. He always leaves me. If only he'd associate with pirates. He has a lot in common with them.

[Rafal halts in his tracks and returns suddenly.]

Rafal: If you’re insinuating I was a deserter, I told you that I wouldn't do it again. Hell, I wouldn't have left if I had known all that would come to pass under your authority.

Rhian: Empty words. Hot air. Guff. What more can you expect from Evil incarnate?

Rafal: Rhian. Stop talking to strangers with their invasive questions. We're done here.

Rhian: Farewell 'til next time, my fair, devoted disciples!

Rafal: [sighs heavily. In a strained voice:] Listen here, Rhian. First, they don't like you. Second, they're glutting you with falsehoods, and third, there won't be a next time. I'm washing my hands of this rabblement, pirates included, and you ought to too.

Rhian: Pay him no mind. All, including pirates, are welcome. [He winks.]

Rafal: I will carve out your tongue if you keep jabbering away like a fool.

Rhian: [outraged, as if he were victimized] See what I have to live with?

Rafal: You're crying out into a cold and unsympathetic void. Whatever passive “audience” you believe we have is as hard and unfeeling as the Storian. They love to watch our pain and misery. They laugh and mercilessly mock us as the Storian does. I wish death upon them all. No, worse.

Rhian: Even if that’s true, mind your manners! [then, in a whisper] You know I’ll just die if whoever is out there doesn’t come away with a good impression.

Rafal: Again, I don’t see why you care about those faceless tormentors of ours. [with a stern look:] To anyone reading: we are not your manikins or playthings. Neither Rhian nor I. You are subordinate to me, and inferiors such as yourselves don’t dictate what we do.

Rhian: The question was harmless, Rafal.

Rafal: But was it victimless? Look at us.

Rhian: What about us?

Rafal: [accusatory] They want to see us fight. They're setting us against each other.

Rhian: My sincerest apologies to everyone. He’s not usually like this, as far as tact and diplomacy extend. He, er… woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Rafal: [abrasively] You still can’t see it, can you? Stop talking and they might just leave us alone.

Rhian: They’re probably gone by now, Rafal. You’ve probably driven them off with that cranky disposition.

Rafal: Doubtful. I know they’re out there. And I’ll be waiting.

Rhian: Enough. I—

Rafal: I think that one day, one day, they’ll surface, and on that day...

Rhian: I’d advise you to run for your lives if you care an ounce for your self-preservation.

Rafal: They'll turn up. They’re sadists and masochists. Why do you think they read our tales?

⸻

My answer to this ask would be no.

It's probably just an impassioned hatred of pirates, an aversion. A full-blown phobia just seems extreme and a little unlikely. I don't think Rafal would generalize and discriminate against all pirates as far as fear goes, but, then again, in terms of simple hatred and his low opinion of them as a collective, I think he would hate them indiscriminately. He'd reject them at every turn, from Hook's betrayal and onwards. But, I could understand viewing Rafal as traumatized in some way through Hook, considering Hook's role in their tale.

[soliloquent-stark]

lil ballerinas 2.0 (x)

marvel parallels 55/?

robert downey jr and chris evans in avengers: infinity war (2018) and captain america: the winter soldier (2014)

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

C'mon, pretty baby, meet me in my fever dream!

"val when will you stop posting redraws and start making original art again?" NEVER

Old version / Oldest version

Commissions!

[37x3]

leaves. leaves are pretty

[npdmonoma]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think the number of boxes someone ticks in a diagnostic manual should determine whether or not you treat them like a person

[harlotsforcinnamon]

Hc that Adam has chronic joint pain bc that growth spurt when he turned fourteen hit him hard and fast

[kaurwreck]

This isn't even the first time Akutagawa should have been murdered but politely declines his death to instead kill a god with Atsushi.

[crookedtidalwaves]

the adventure zone: balance 🤝🏻 omniscient reader viewpoint

actually, you're now part of this narrative as well

[stonystark]

if it's still open — can i request some post-endgame grey-haired men in love? 💕

Oh hello! Yes it’s still open 🥰 I just haven’t gotten very many. This is a lovely prompt thank you so much for sending✨

More requests are welcome!! I love drawing Stony I just need some Inspiration sometimes 🫶

[indiestsnake]

kinda weird that one can only know the true wonder of having someone to comfort you by knowing the crushing agony of being alone with no catharsis to be found

[aurumacadicus]

1+14; angsty stuckony? 😩🫣

Hopefully this is angsty enough lol. For background purposes, Steve is a swan, Bucky is a magpie, and Tony is a hummingbird.

--

Steve had always been attracted to blues. And he probably shouldn’t have found it embarrassing, except of all the people who had showed interest in him, Peggy and Bucky had been the only two who hadn’t been upset when they noticed his eyes wandering over other people’s feathers when they were out and about. Peggy had politely but sternly told him that she was choosing to believe it was because he saw the artistic nature of them, and he’d agreed, because his eyes might have drawn toward blue feathers, but he was a monogamous bird.

Bucky teased him, though. It was always good-natured, but Steve couldn��t tell how sincere Bucky was when he noticed Steve’s eyes being drawn away and he grinned like a lecher and asked, ‘are they pretty?’ So he chose to ignore it like he had with Peggy. He had eyes. They caught blue and were drawn to it. It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t like to share, anyway.

“Steve,” Bucky said one night, when they were all battle-sore and retired to their own rooms to decompress. They were chowing through their third pizza before they went to pass out in bed. “Have you noticed Tony’s wings?”

“Buck,” Steve sighed, and the pulsing headache he’d been trying to beat to bed caught up to him. He wiped his hand on a napkin and then lifted it to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Right now?”

“They’re blue,” Bucky continued blithely, munching on a garlic knot. “Shiny.”

“He’s hummingbird on his ma’s side,” Steve said tiredly, repeating what Tony had told him when he’d noticed Steve’s… looking. He’d assumed Steve was comparing them to Howard’s instead of ogling.

Steve hadn’t corrected him, too scared of the reaction he might get when the team learned about his attraction to blue feathers. Sure, it would probably be good-natured teasing, but he’d been looked at as odd back in the forties, a swan not sticking to his own kind like they were known for. He didn't want to test that theory.

“I think we should court him,” Bucky continued, as if he hadn’t spoken at all. “Seeing his blues against your whites would be sexy as hell.”

“Buck,” Steve tried again, even though he couldn’t tell if he was angry or shocked. He also couldn’t help but imagine it, Tony’s iridescent feathers quivering against his white ones. It was a pretty picture in his head.

Bucky slanted him a sharp look, quelling whatever he was about to sputter. “Don’t fucking play stupid, Steve. Your eyes are already saying yes. Have been since the first time you looked at him, probably. Now I just need your mouth to tell me the same.”

Steve felt himself flushing, and his mouth dropped open in shock. Despite that, he could feel his wings raising, feathers beginning to spread in invitation. “I just don’t want Tony to…” he began, helpless.

At that, Bucky’s stern gaze faded. “Tony isn’t going to think less of you, Steve.”

“I know,” Steve said quickly, because he did. He did know that. Tony was one of the most accepting people he’d ever met. Too accepting perhaps, in some ways, but it wasn’t his business to say so.

But the few times he’d worked himself up to go after blue-feathered dames, before Peggy, they’d looked at him like he was… wrong. Like he was treating them as objects to covet. And while he’d come far enough to realize some birds were so chased after that they were wary of any potential mate that came their way, he still remembered the shame he’d felt as he wondered if they were right.

“Of course, there’s also the problem the opposite direction, where he thinks we’re joking or making fun of him,” Bucky muttered, apparently taking him at his word. He rubbed a hand over his chin thoughtfully as he picked through and discarded ideas. Steve waited patiently, because his tried-and-true flirtation technique was ‘god I hope they notice me first.’ Finally, he smacked his fist into his open palm. “I’ve got it. He seems to really like watching us spar.” He looked back up at Steve. “We need to manufacture a way to get him on the mat with us.”

“I’ll kill him,” Steve said simply. He was a swan. Tony was a hummingbird. Tony was only a few inches shorter than him, but his bones weren’t as solid. Delicate, Steve had called him once, and Tony had been torn between preening proudly and punching him in the face for patronizing him. Still. Steve had a hundred pounds on him of pure muscle with wings to match. Even if Tony wasn’t aware of their physical differences, he’d never allow Tony to goad him into a fight.

Bucky considered this, then leaned on the table with a sigh. “Oh boy. Well,” he groused, leaning his cheek on his fist irritably. “I suppose we can always ask Natasha to help us manufacture another ‘is that a threat or a promise’ situations with him.”

Steve remembered the situation where Tony had slanted a sly, smug look at them after mentioning him being sore for days. He remembered the lascivious tilt to his smile as his eyes flicked up and down Steve’s body before flitting to Bucky’s. He remembered the iridescent ripple of blues and greens along Tony’s wings as they fluttered becomingly behind him. He remembered the slow, syrupy drawled, 'is that a threat? or a promise,' a tease and an invitation all at once that he’d been too embarrassed to chase.

“She’ll be so insufferable about this,” Steve finally sighed, because he knew they’d be asking her.

Bucky huffed, shaking his head fondly. “Well, she usually is.”

[soliloquent-stark]

marvel parallels 54/?

chris evans and robert downey jr in avengers (2012) and iron man 3 (2013)

[37x3]

i have gives you hell stuck in my head

this is bad

[npdmonoma]

Narcissists: When my needs aren't being met I'm more likely to harm myself or others. Can you please give me praise and attention to make this easier on me?

Narcissistic abuse believers: Wow, manipulative much? How dare you ask other people for help, clearly you're abusive and it's okay for me to tear you to pieces. If this backfires on me, that's your fault too.

Narcissists: ...and you think we're the dangerous ones?

[caemidraws]

I pick a new profile picture (of the blorbo) and...the previous one (of the same blorbo) rises from its folder, demanding its stolen throne....................ah....doubt neverending...!