#some of it goes really hard

[4threset]

"There is something in the Duskgloom Sea…"

[noodles-and-tea]

For the twins in time AU, I genuinely wonder what kind of people the young twins grow up into because of Stan’s/Ford’s influence. Especially if it takes years for the portal to get fixed.

(Sorry if it seems like I already sent this question, I don’t know if it got sent the first time I asked)

I haven’t fully fleshed out how Ford grows up in the past but I do have thoughts on Stan presently

[nova-rpv]

a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[pearbosc]

Homesick

[pixlokita]

I was crying from pain at the emergency room and the nurses were bitching about me not dying so they couldn’t help right away even if I kept passing out and had been there for a long time, this sweet old Russian lady who was also admitted since earlier stood up and walked next to me and kept comforting me and asking how I was holding up, she kept checking in on me and being so sweet and going around asking if everyone was doing ok or just distracting family members of patients with nice conversations. She called out the doctors and nurses for not caring, she sat next to me and kept making sure I was ok and then gave me her phone number when she got discharged so I’d follow up with her. Honestly my day coulda been hell today but this one lady made it so bearable it’s not going to be remembered as a bad horrible traumatizing time, I got to meet an actual angel and I’m so happy about it.

[daftpatience]

my fursoma is ever evolving

[pallanophblargh]

“Do it for her.”

In this cursed timeline we all have been cruelly subjected to, I can admit that this lil lady is the primary reason I get up in the morning. I owe her so much and it’s really not an exaggeration.

We’ve been working on training and working through leash reactivity (she’s a frustrated greeter so her crime is “too much excitement”) but she’s so smart and willing to please, and it’s more me being trained than anything. She has days when she can’t focus or listen, but that’s the same for me. And that’s ok.

She takes up a fair chunk of my free time (easily 85% of it) so commissions and daily tasks are taking a hit, but she’s helped me with my mental health so much in the aftermath of my serious illness so that’s a net positive. I will learn how to balance better in the future I hope.

Love you to the moon and back, Raclette!

[cent-scratchnsniff]

hoptal

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In love with the idea that innie lwj is bouncing off the walls constantly. No emotional regulation. No social skills. Pure chaos. He deserves it

Given what we know about Drunk LWJ, it stands to reason a severed version of him would be also uninhibited and unfiltered.

If his outie has tamed his tempers, his innie is collecting them like a child at an unmonitored candy bowl.

[somegrumpynerd]

Some doodles from the freaky friday idea I had, as it turns out neither of them can do a convincing impression of the other

Also this

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[celestialowlryxs]

The truth is everything. But before you give it to another, ask yourself, are you giving them clarity, light, and purpose? Or are you shifting a burden to someone who needs all their strength? - part 2 (part 1)

[yuwuta]

OMEGA SATORU????????????? RAAAAAAAHHHHWOLF ON HIS KNEES RIPPING OFF CLOTHES im normal about it please elaborate please

chuckles evilly…. satoru’s the kind of omega that knows that other people want him, knows that he could date or sleep with pretty much anybody he wants, but there’s only one person he wants and it’s you, and he’s stubborn and insufferable about it. you seem to be the only alpha in his life that’s immune to him and it drives him crazy—it doesn’t matter how much he flirts, how good he smells, how many times he pouts and blinks and calls you alpha, you just smile and ruffle his hair and it kills him. he doesn’t get it. even nanami has had to take a step away from him when he’s close his heat, but you’re not phased by him at all. 

it’s bordering on pathetic bc you’re not even mates, not even dating, not even close to being anything really—you’re friends and have been for a while, but that doesn’t stop satoru from throwing himself onto you, from pouting, and from proudly declaring that you’re His alpha. he brags and brags and brags to anyone who will listen about how he’s in the best pack in the world, how you’re the best alpha of them all, how he’s the luckiest omega ever, but every time he’s hit with the reality that he’s not yours, he gets unreasonably upset. sometimes, he even tries to take it out on you, gets himself sick or drunk or lets his pheromones run wild while he clings to you and slurs about how you’re supposed to be a good alpha, and take care of him. gets himself all worked up, pacing the floor and pouting and ranting incoherently about how he’s always been yours and it’s not fair that you’re not his and he’s being irrational and he’s definitely not sober, but still, all you have to do is call his name and barely nip at his wrist and it’s like his entire body resets. he freezes and goes slack and he’s scolding himself internally because he’s so weak to you and he can’t do anything to make you succumb to him. 

it’s not like he’d change that tho. it bothers him that he has no sway over you, but, truthfully, he loves the control that you have over him. he likes you can tame him, he likes belonging to you like that. he just wants to have you like that, too. and so yes he’s desperate, yes he’s pathetic, yes he’ll do anything for your attention, but he doesn’t care, satoru wants you and he will do whatever it takes to have you 

[renonv]

Ignore the difference in styles but Two wonderful ppl on discord wanted to see me untwinkify Romano so I had to deliver

“Shirtless” (his tits are already out) vers :