#something something i cannot REST
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n.m.sanchez's initial meeting
#delulu until proven otherwise right?#something something THE CHASE did happen and something something armand did make daniel FORGET#something something even as daniel shreds the loumand situationship to bits#something something armand just can't really get mad at his FASCINATING boy#something something peepaw looked almost upset that the GREMLIN did not rage upon him#something something he still becomes his ONLY FLEDGLING#something something i cannot REST#until devil's minion comes home to me in S3#devil's minion#devil's minion headcanon#armandaniel#daniel molloy#armand iwtv#armand x daniel molloy#old man daniel#the vampire armand#interview with the vampire spoilers#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that
#bloodweave#astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work#but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked#tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like#first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful#and I rushed to find the most useless object I could#thank you Komira you’re a real one#also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times#also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet
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now that I can think semi-coherently again...whooooo's ready for Friday WEEHOO
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i've only had gidel for a day and a half et cetera you know the rest#guidel? gider? ah yes. what's that romanization. my favorite game#i'm gonna go with fellow and gidel until something official comes out i guess#anyway HEY it's spooky carnival time where everybody wears hats and then probably turns into puppets or something! i'm excited!#yuu and grim are probably going to be there also which means it doesn't canonically take place during glorious masquerade#which is unfortunate because that really is the most hilarious possibility#ace and deuce in unison: ugh you won't BELIEVE what happened while you were gone#these boys cannot just have one nice day without someone trying to take over the school or destroy all magic forever or something#such is life in twisted wonderland
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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am I getting too convoluted if I said Johnny dies Dallas lives n Pony loses his hearing as a result of the way Dallas hits him (to put out the fire) when he pulls him out of the church au??
#idk man#this idea has been rotting in my head for a long time#i have like a terribly rough outline#where basically the events of the book happen exactly as canon up until post church fire#so pony johnny n dallas are in the hospital#n ponys reeling from literally everything that just happened#n he reunites with soda n darry n suddenly realizes like oh fuck#i cannot hear sodas hysterically releived laughter#or darrys voice as he thanks god ponys fine#n then the dr pulls darry aside n tells him that pony has profound hearing loss as a result of an injury sustained during the fire#the last voice he will ever have heard clearly is johnnys#johnny dies canon complicent#but before dallas can get himself shot by the cops darry gets to him first#so dallas survives#pony learns asl from a deaf woman who their family has always been familiar with#since their parents were always real keen on including people that the rest of the world looked down on#dallas has to deal with not only surviors guilt but feeling like he took something from Pony that can never be given back#he has his own arc with the woman#but it basically all boils down to deafness is not the LOSS of something#but rather just the ADDITION of a new community n language n experience#plus dallas learns sign n is just utterly overwhelmed by feelin like his hands can be used for somethin soft n good#UGH#if yall wanna hear more about this lemme know#bc i have been thinking about this for a WHILE#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#dallas winston#the outsiders 1983
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I think I need MelVik connecting when Viktor was on his sick bed. they had been amicable before, maybe a little more than that due to their connection through Jayce and her presence around Hextech and such. but they weren't entirely friends. not yet.
and she goes to see him. perhaps she feels a tinge of guilt at assuming the worst about Jayce, or her bleeding heart makes her feel responsible for keeping Jayce out of the lab when Viktor had needed him. maybe Jayce needs to step out for a moment, and she soothes his worry by promising to sit with Viktor. maybe she just wants to be closer to the man that's so painfully important to the one she loves, wants to befriend him, wants to know him, all before it's far too late.
maybe it's a little bit of each.
but she goes to see him. she sits in the chair that Jayce has nearly worn a hole through, and keeps a semi-awkward distance between them, not knowing what is too close and too far.
this man is dying. he is dying and he has accepted that. he looks like a corpse. cold emanates off of him. he is something she doesn't fully understand.
she doesn't know how to approach.
but she does.
she greets softly and speaks softly and hesitates to touch, but rests a hand over Viktor's and feels how cold he is, even as a sickly warmth brews in his bones, leeching the warmth from his skin and the energy from his body.
he seems surprised she's there. it feels out of place. like the song and dance of their dynamic has shifted, and now he needs to relearn the steps. and now this is a dance of two, not three.
she will tell Viktor, in enough detail to be understood and not enough to be awkward, where Jayce was. because it feels right to confess. it's not an apology, but the avoidance of keeping something like a secret from a dying man.
Viktor will probably just nod and say something self deprecating, because what else do you say when your body is already making a joke of itself? before assuring her that Jayce is not his keeper, that she is not to blame, but even that comes off as some twisted attempt at humor. sue him for being sardonic as he lay dying.
but unlike Jayce, who will cringe at the jokes, she will hide a smile behind her fingers, muffling a soft, if not saddened, chuckle in her palm.
Viktor's eyes will light up ever so slightly.
she'll feel awkward once more. should she have laughed? was this playing into a complex? was this right of her?
Viktor will smile weakly.
she'll feel a little less awkward.
she will realize Viktor needs someone to laugh with. that Jayce, bless his soul, cannot be that person for Viktor. his worry has brewed too long. it's too strong.
but maybe a fresh face like Mel's can be there to smile when Jayce cannot. will laugh when Jayce cannot. can make cheeky jokes and pokes and prods.
the three fit together like 3 pieces of 3 broken puzzles. they fit together, not perfectly, but they fit, and create a finished object, even if off kilter her and uneven there. but it's ok, they're making due.
#jaymelvik#melvik#but this post is specifically about rhe MelVik brainrot#but Jayce is there in the background#something about their dynamic. in power. in physicality. in where they're from and how they got to the position they're in.#it's all so interesting#I think it would be so interesting to see these two come together more#and I think them coming together at the very end of Viktor's story (pre hexcore) would be bittersweet#they're running out of time before they even become anything#they both know that#but maybe that's what Viktor needs#someone who cares. but doesn't know him. does not know hum enough ti care so deeply it hurts.#and Mel is very physically affectionate without it being overboard#(looks at Jayce and how he cannot be chill with keeping his hands to himself)#like I think they would just be sweet#im imagining them curled up in her big bed. he's covered in blankets and she's resting on his shoulder. watching him breathe.#she's warm like the sun and he's keeping her grounded to earth#and the banter would go crazy. those are two gossip girls if given the chance#mel medarda#viktor arcane#she's everything Jayce can't be for Viktor. she can laugh and smile when Jayce can't. she can keep her cool.#Viktor needs that energy in his life#arcane
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Im working on the "Legend and Time get turned into children and Mask causes chaos while Little Legend causes angst" fic so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to either interact with this or send me an ask! Also please help me pick a name for Little Legend because i cannot call him Little Legend
would like to add that im making it so baby legend has been on two adventures, alttp and cadence of hyrule because its funny to me
#lu legend#lu time#linked universe#fanfic#lu mask#help#i cannot come up with a good name#like i am not calling baby legend baby legend for the rest of this fic i need something shorter#like four
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“I look ridiculous,” Albus grumbled at his reflection.
“You look like James,” Scorpius said.
“Like I said, ridiculous.”
...
Drew this just to get a better picture in my head of what they look like! 💚🐍
#harry potter and the cursed child#cursed child#albus severus potter#scorpius malfoy#cursed child fic#the cursed child#something worth taking the time fic#fun fact hydrus looks like a mini ted with andromeda's eyes#albus as aries really looks like james sirius in my head#except he only smiles whenever scorpius is present#albus has resting bitch face#also albus cannot escape messy hair it's part of him#k im done drawing i just needed a break
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My RvB Secret Santa gift for @hipstersoulgushers!!!!
You asked for Locpez in space, and i spent three days trying to figure out how to show the inside of the A'rynasea, so these two could go off on their own little adventure
No clue what they're talking about but i hope you like it! :D
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb locus#rvb lopez#locpez#rvb secret santa#i firmly believe lopez is just as much of a yapper as the rest of the reds he just hasn't had anyone to proper yap too in so long...#now he's got locus and they can roll their eyes and side eye the others together <3#my art#batsy art#merry chrysler and all that jazz#weird lighting of spaceships and screens and things makes my brain think i missed something but i cannot find WHAT it thinks i missed lmao?
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i know it wasn't just a dream
(au info: here)
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alnst ivan#ivantill#alien stage invasion#lazers art#AAGH HI IM BACK AFTER 3 MONTHS#i promise i didnt forget about this au shes my precious baby#ummmm i dont think i need to elaborate much but if it wasnt clear this was the inciting incident#that made my au till obsessed with the supernatural !!#there is something that happens after he loses consciousness but till is my pov main character in this so for now the rest is a mystery....#unless you wanna ask me about it. im not immune to spilling the beans#also if it was not clear till cannot understand the aliens. i think it was clear enough but was not 100% sure#i really tried to play with colors here i hope they turned out ok#i also like never draw children i hope they look okay too#ive had the basic idea for this comic in particular like since i posted my au intro#so im glad she exists now#i still dont have a 100% idea on how exactly till would recognize that ivan is the same alien he saw as a kid but it happens somehow#thats for sure#LOL#anyyywayyssss ^_^ feels good to be back
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also i talk about 'getting lucanis out' like it's an easy thing but i do genuinely wonder if he experiences cognitive dissonance over it all. surely he must know if he stays with the crows and stays first talon, he's stuck in this state forever. he can change things, but how long does that last? how many times has he thought, guilty, 'maybe after caterina dies, i can be free'? how many crows will be waiting for him to die, so they can go back to killing for coin without thinking of the innocents lucanis wants to save? how could he ever ensure that? and if he has kids (i don't even think. he wants kids frankly.) i refuse to believe he would abuse them the way caterina abused him. like how does he raise any child to take over a guild that is infamous for infighting. he doesn't need to look far to know how that goes. the dellamortes used to be 14 members strong, and within a few decades that number gets whittled down to 3. lucanis stays with the crows? it can be whittled down to 0. but the dellamorte legacy remains. how on earth could he ever extract himself from the mess he's inherited. how could he ever trust any other hand except his own
#i do not think he should stay. but . oh my fucking god the idea of obligation 'im the only one who can fix this' is craaazy.#a rook that wants him to go for his own sake. lucanis who can't look away because he knows what the crows are. WOWWWW.#lucanis dellamorte#its also sweet and idealistic of me to think teia and viago could do something. i could perhaps pray and think like this but you know#tyche leaving him over this literally makes me want to die. she really would.#ok sort of. but my darling girl stuck with the crows for the rest of her life makes me want to fucking chew glass#veilguard spoilers#dav#it would kill her. LUCANIS YOU HAVE TO GET BETTER SHE CANNOT TAKE THIS SHE NEEDS TO BE ON A SANDY COAST TO LIVE#i have seriously been thinking abt this for a while since i finished the game bc the idea of tyche wanting kids is not out of the question#tyche having kids. with a lucanis who is talon. divorrrcceee.
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Happy birthday, Charge
#problem: forgot about characters birthday#solution: create an entirely too ambitious piece you absolutely cannot finish in a day#im a day late (technically two if were going with my timezone) but i still wanted to make something for it#i like how you can pinpoint the exact point in this drawing where i went from “lets get this done right :) ” to “lets get this done.”#like we all agree to pretend i put effort in the background right??? just making sure#aldo btw regarding that last ortega. does anybody else think about how their wish for their 40th birthday is for sidestep to remember.#because I Do. Quite A Bit Actually.#ortega#im not tagging the rest <3#fhr#pulp draws
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i'm rewatching tron uprising again for the first time in a while and I'd forgotten just how... graphic??? some of the violence is
holes punched in chests (multiple occasions)! a bisected guard dragging themself across the floor & trailing digital gore! a (failed) public execution where the prisioners are being pulled apart by lightcycles! dyson's caved-in skull! tron's entire fucking torture scene that was genuinely harrowing to watch! let's carve out his eye! let's carve out tron's fucking eye!
#n0t seri0us#Tron: Uprising#Tron Uprising#ngl I'm having a great time#and I will be forever sad that it got cancelled#u will always live in my heart tron uprising#also I keep referring to tron as 'chronic illness tron' because I was watching him go on his excursion in 'identity' and was like#'i bet he's going to have to rest up for a few days after this'#and then realised he & I were basically having the chronic illness/fatigue experience together LOL#so now whenever he's doing something major I'm internally like 'he's going to be paying for that later :( '#chronic illness tron my beloved#also i still have love for renepaige stored within me like a fine fine wine that's been expertly aged#this is my path & you cannot stop me from loving them
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not me frantically going through my spotify playlists listing to songs i think i might miss in the next couple of months when all i listen to is Even in Arcadia on repeat I Am A Normal Person 🤡
#sleep token#sleepanon rant#worshitposting#even in arcadia#i will admit#i have listened to the album exactly one time#and i cant wait until it's officially out#so i can listen to it for the rest of my life#also i highly apologize#i think i accidentally queued/posted something about infinite baths#instead of saving it to drafts#i am bad at tumblr#i cannot find that post so maybe i deleted it?#hopefully thats the case#it wasn't massively spoilery but still
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lightsaber wielders being forced to use a steel blade >>>>>>>
#the true travesty of star wars is that the knights cannot have blood-splattered swords#or stoically use them as hand rests#i might be drawing something
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