#sometimes you do have to avoid having any kind of hierarchy

[violetbeam]

the tumbr leftists have been arguing about communism and anarchism all day again and idk. ever since i've been more involved in community organizing this past year, it just makes most of these Internet Arguments look really really pathetic

[natsaffection]

OOOOH I HAVE A REQUEST could you do nat x reader where reader is nat’s stress relief (Natasha is a mob leader or ceo or something powerful) and our whole job is to be ready for nat to take, punish, degrade and use whenever she pleases. Top/mean nat super smutty 🫣

Mine to use.

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Using body for own pleasure, begging, strap on, rough sex, oral (n receiving) spanking, power use

Word Count: 2,1k

A/N: ups..💆🏻‍♀️

Natasha Romanoff, known in the underworld as the Black Widow, sat at the head of a long mahogany table in her luxurious office. The room was dimly lit, the only illumination coming from the city lights filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Her presence commanded respect and fear, a combination that had allowed her to rise to the top of the criminal hierarchy.

Dressed in a tailored black suit, Natasha exuded power and control. Her red hair was neatly tied back, emphasizing her sharp features and piercing green eyes that seemed to see right through any deception. She leaned back in her chair, listening intently to the reports from her lieutenants, each of whom vied for her approval.

“Our shipment from Eastern Europe has been delayed,” one of her men reported, his voice tinged with anxiety. “The authorities have tightened their inspections. We’re looking at a two-week delay, at least.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, but she remained silent, her fingers drumming on the table. She had little patience for delays and incompetence. “And the situation with the East Side gangs?” she asked, her voice cold and measured.

“We’ve managed to secure a temporary truce,” another lieutenant responded. “But it’s fragile. They’re demanding a larger cut of the profits.” Natasha’s lips curled into a predatory smile. “Demanding? They’re in no position to demand anything from me.”

As the meeting continued, Natasha’s mind drifted slightly. Beneath the table, hidden from the view of her subordinates, you knelt quietly. You had been summoned earlier, your presence required for a different kind of service. Natasha’s hand found its way to your hair, tangling in the strands as a silent command.

You knew what was expected of you. You leaned forward, your movements careful and deliberate. Your tongue traced a path along Natasha’s inner thigh, your touch light and teasing. Natasha closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the sensation, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Her men exchanged glances, shifting uncomfortably in their seats, fully aware of Natasha’s reputation and her ways with girls.

“How do you plan to handle the shipment delay?” Natasha asked, her voice steady despite the pleasure coursing through her.

“We’re exploring alternative routes,” the lieutenant replied nervously, trying to maintain his composure. “It will cost more, but we can avoid the increased inspections.”

Natasha nodded thoughtfully, her attention divided. “Do it. I want that shipment here within the week.” Your tongue worked skillfully, your movements guided by the rhythm of Natasha’s hand. Sometimes you really wondered how you ended up in this situation and could still remember exactly the first encounter with her:

“Over my knee.” she commanded, her voice sharp and unyielding. You hesitated for a moment, confusion and fear clouding your mind. “Miss Romanoff, I don’t understand—”

“Did I ask for an explanation?” Natasha snapped, her eyes flashing with anger. “Over my knee. Now.”

Swallowing hard, you complied, draping yourself over Natasha’s lap. The position was humiliating, but you knew better than to protest further. Natasha’s hand rested on your lower back, holding you in place.

“Do you know why you’re being punished?” Natasha asked, her voice icy. “No, Miss Romanof..” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“One of my so-called colleagues made a mistake,” Natasha began, her hand coming down sharply on your backside. You gasped, gripping Natasha’s knee to steady yourself. “And I don’t tolerate mistakes.”

The spanking continued, each strike harder than the last, each one a release of Natasha’s pent-up frustration and anger. Your body jerked with each blow, your cheeks burning both from the pain and the humiliation.

“M-Miss Romanoff, please!” you cried out finally. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Natasha’s hand paused mid-air. “What did you just say?” she asked, her voice dangerously low.

“I—I’m sorry, but I didn’t do anything w-wrong..” you repeated, your voice breaking. Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “Talking back, are we?” she hissed. “You will learn not to speak unless spoken to.”

With renewed fury, Natasha continued the spanking, her strikes even harder than before. Your body jerked with each blow, your cries filling the room. You clung more to Natasha’s knee, desperate to keep yourself from crying out too loudly.

The office door opened suddenly, and one of Natasha’s colleagues stepped inside. He froze, eyes wide as he took in the scene.

“I’m sorry. I—I didn’t realize you were busy..” he stammered. Natasha didn’t pause in her actions, her hand continuing to come down on your backside with methodical precision. “What do you need?” she asked coolly, her eyes never leaving your quivering form.

“I, uh, have the reports you requested.” he replied, trying to maintain his composure. “Leave them on the desk,” Natasha instructed, her voice steady. “And close the door on your way out.”

The man did as he was told, his face pale as he quickly exited the room, closing the door behind him. Your grip on Natasha’s knees tightened, your knuckles white as you fought to keep silent.

“You see,” Natasha continued, her voice a low growl. “I expect absolute obedience. No talking back, no excuses.”

Natasha’s breath hitched slightly, but she maintained her composure, her eyes never leaving those of her subordinates.

“And the truce?” Natasha continued, her voice betraying nothing of the sensations she was experiencing. “Make it clear that any breach will be met with swift and severe consequences.”

One of the lieutenants dared to glance under the table, curiosity getting the better of him. Natasha caught the movement and her eyes snapped to his. “You.” she barked, pointing a finger at him. “Out. Now.”

The man paled, scrambling to his feet. “Y-Yes, Miss Romanoff.” he stammered, hurrying from the room. Natasha’s eyes followed him until the door closed behind him, then she returned her attention to the others. “Anyone else being distracted?”

Her men shook their heads, clearly intimidated. Natasha’s reputation for ruthless efficiency was well-earned, and none of them wished to test her patience.

As the meeting wrapped up, Natasha gave one final command. “Keep me informed of any changes. Dismissed.”

Her men filed out of the room, each offering a respectful nod as they left. Once the door closed behind them, Natasha’s facade of icy control slipped slightly. She looked down at you, her eyes dark with desire. “Good girl,” she murmured, her voice a low purr. “Finish.”

Your movements became more fervent, driven by Natasha’s praise. The mob boss leaned back in her chair, allowing herself to fully enjoy the sensations. Her control over you was absolute, extending from the boardroom to the bedroom, and everywhere in between.

As Natasha reached the peak of her pleasure, her grip on your hair tightened momentarily before releasing. She leaned forward, breathing heavily, her eyes softening as she looked at the woman beneath her.

“Look at me,” Natasha commanded gently. You obeyed, lifting your gaze to meet Natasha’s. “Come here.” Natasha instructed, her voice soft yet authoritative.

You rose to your feet, your legs unsteady. Natasha stood as well, pulling you into her lap for a brief, tender moment.

“You did well,” Natasha said softly, her lips brushing against your ear. “But remember, your debt is far from paid.”

“Yes, Miss Romanoff.” you replied, your voice a mixture of submission and affection. Natasha’s smile was predatory yet tender as she held you close. “Now, leave my office.” She commanded.

As you turned to go, Natasha’s hand came down in a sharp smack on your ass, a final reminder of who held the power. You gasped, a flush spreading across your cheeks as you left the room.

And it had been like this for several months. You owed Natasha a lot of money but could never pay it on time. Until you begged her to forgive your debts and you would do anything to make it happen. Natasha didn't have to think about it for a second and since then you have been her personal toy. She was feeling bad? You were there. Her coffee was too cold? She took it out on you.

One day had been a disaster from start to finish. Natasha’s meetings with the criminal elite had gone awry, with deals falling through and alliances crumbling. Her temper was on a knife-edge as she stormed back into her office, slamming the door behind her. She needed an outlet, and she needed it now.

She grabbed her phone and sent a single, commanding message: “My Office. Now.”

You arrived quickly, your heart racing as you stepped inside. The tension in the air was palpable, and you knew tonight would be different. “Miss Romanoff?”

Natasha’s eyes were dark with anger as she stalked towards you. “Strip.” she ordered, her voice a dangerous growl.

Your hands shook as you hurried to obey, quickly discarding your clothes. Natasha wasted no time, grabbing you roughly by the arm and dragging you to her table.

“Bend over.” Natasha commanded, her voice sharp and unyielding. You complied, your body trembling with a mix of fear and anticipation. Natasha’s presence behind you was overwhelming, her anger radiating off her in waves.

“Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to deal with incompetent idiots all day?” Natasha spat, her hands gripping your hips tightly. “To have every single plan fall apart because of their stupidity?”

As she let the meeting enter her mind again, Natasha pulled something out of her drawer and you heard her strapping something on.

“Answer me.” Natasha barked, her hand coming down in a sharp slap on your backside. “No, Miss Romanoff..” You gasped, the pain mixing with an unexpected rush of arousal.

“That’s right,” Natasha hissed, positioning herself behind you. “You can’t possibly understand the level of frustration I have to deal with.”

With that, Natasha entered you roughly with her fake cock, her movements harsh and punishing. You cried out, unable to suppress the sound as Natasha set a brutal pace.

“That’s it,” Natasha growled, her grip tightening. “Scream for me.” Your cries filled the room, your body responding despite the roughness. The more you screamed, the more aroused Natasha seemed to become.

“Do you know how much I love hearing you like this?” Natasha murmured, her voice dripping with dark satisfaction. “It kinda makes me feel alive.”

“Please..” You whimpered, your body responding despite the roughness. “It’s too—oh my god!”

“Don’t hold back..” Natasha commanded, her voice a low growl. “I want to hear every sound you make.” You cried out, your voice filled with both pain and pleasure. “Oh, please!”

Natasha’s pace increased, her movements becoming even more forceful as she fed off your reactions. “You’re mine.” Natasha snarled, her breath hot against your ear. “And you will take everything I give you.”

“Y-Yes, Miss Roma..noff..” you sobbed, your body shaking with the effort to hold on.

Natasha’s grip tightened further as she reached around and pulled your arms behind your back, holding them firmly. The new position allowed Natasha to thrust even deeper, each powerful movement driving you further into the bed. “Stay still,” Natasha ordered, her voice harsh. “I don’t want you moving an inch.”

“I can’t,” you gasped, your body at Natasha’s mercy. “It’s too deep!”

“Good.” Natasha growled, her voice filled with dark pleasure. “P-Please..”you begged, your voice breaking. “I can’t hold it!”

“Then come.” Natasha commanded, and your body obeyed, the release overwhelming and intense. But Natasha wasn’t done. “Again.” she ordered, her voice leaving no room for refusal. “And this time, scream for me.”

“F-Fuck!!” you cried out, your body trembling with exhaustion and pleasure. “Please, it’s too much!” Natasha brought you to the edge and over again, her control unwavering. Each climax was a release of Natasha’s pent-up frustration, her anger dissolving with each wave of pleasure.

When it was over, Natasha leaned back, her breathing heavy. She looked down at you, who lay panting on the table, your body marked by the roughness of their encounter.

“Get dressed.“ Natasha ordered, her voice softer but no less commanding. “And remember, you are mine to use as I see fit.”

“Y-Yes, Miss Romanoff, thank you..” you replied, your voice steady despite the exhaustion. You dressed quickly, your body aching but your heart full. You knew you would be summoned again, and you would be ready, as always, to pay your debt in whatever way Natasha demanded.

[zisurru]

i think there's a neglected dimension in the historical analysis of women's attraction to castrati and it's like umm. that quote about trent reznor that was going around a while back. yes women wanted to fuck farinelli, obviously. i guarantee however that they just as strongly wanted to be farinelli. saw their own "emasculated" bodies in the castrato body and saw that this emasculated body could be a hero or lover, a person of action and agency and strength. and a person who, although male, was familiar with certain kinds of disrespect that most men are not: what it feels like to be told that your voice is so shrill and annoying that it would be better for everyone if you just didn't speak in public. what it feels like to be taught that, because of your reproductive anatomy, you are essentially a sort of near-human animal whose mental faculties are damaged by effeminacy, rendering you cowardly and lustful. what it's like to have people blurt out invasive commentary on your body and then laugh, feeling that they've reaffirmed their position in the gender hierarchy and soothed any momentary anxieties that your presence provoked.

in fandom i think there's something really similar going on with women feeling drawn to somewhat gender nonconforming men - real people or fictional characters - this sense that this guy has something in common with you, but that he is, because male, a better or easier or more dignified subject on which to project your own feelings. he's just like me fr, etc.

one of the weird things about castrati and their admirers is that this dynamic was often a two-way street. helen berry describes some of these relationships as "alliances", and i think that makes a lot of sense. there are obvious reasons for mutual sympathy. a lot of castrati had very close female friends, and a lot of recorded conversations they had with them have to do with, unsurprisingly, anger at being embarrassed or belittled. they were having, basically, vent sessions, and rules of heterosexual sociability meant that discretion was key, vulgarity was avoided, and macho posturing was not demanded the same way it might be in all-male company. at the same time, these rules precluded real intimacy. you had a performer-admirer relationship where two people were navigating gendered distress and grief over how society treated them, but who were barred by politeness from really speaking about it in explicit terms.

and even then sometimes people would come along and go, fuck. what the hell are you two up to. did you pass her a note? are you fucking perverts or something? does her dad know about this?

[paradoxspaceheater]

terms of address ranked by how sexy they are

(for the sake of brevity i'm avoiding titles that go before a name, this is for these terms as standalone addresses. i'm also only including english language titles for now)

miss: 3/10 USUALLY miss is incredibly unsexy however if used as a marker of rank it's hot af. don't @ me.

mister: 1/10 makes you sound like a victorian orphan. just say 'mr lastname' that's much sexier.

master/mistress: 6/10, often sexy but it gets overused enough to sometimes be very unsexy or cringe. also pops up in a chattel slavery context sometimes which is depressing and uncomfortable and not sexy.

sir/ma'am: 7/10 generally quite good, can give military or like... subjugation or servitude vibes which can both be very sexy. sometimes it can just be weird/uncomfortable though.

doctor: 5/10 ehhhhh it's fine i guess.

father/mother: 5/10 the family vibes are weird but the religious hierarchy is undeniably sexy. bonus points for 'mother superior' or 'holy father/mother'.

my lord/my lady: 10/10 no notes the 'my' especially is so... you want to fuck them so bad.

prince/princess: 7/10 pretty good but 90% of the time you're better off going with 'your highness'.

my prince/princess: 9/10 the 'my' just adds that little special something. i still think 'your highness' is spicier though.

my king/queen: 8/10 can be higher or lower depending on the exact relationship involved, but generally there are just so many good options for royalty that this isn't always the best. it IS however very very intimate which is always a plus.

sire: 9/10 one point docked for it being the same as a word for 'father' but otherwise yeah it's hot. gives somewhat bowing and scraping advisor energy which we love.

your honor: 7/10 it CAN be very sexy if used right however there are so many unsexy judges out there they bring it down a bit.

your excellency: 8/10 i like this one a lot in theory but in practice it tends to get applied to a lot of smarmy bastards who are just not my type so ??? still sexy but i can't rate it any higher than this.

your highness: 9/10 it's very good HOWEVER some people think it is acceptable to call the reigning monarch 'your highness' and in that circumstance it is not sexy so i am forced to dock one point.

your majesty: 9/10 i like it a lot but docked one point for being a little basic. it's just overused not every monarch has to be 'your majesty' you can have a little creativity.

your grace: 10/10 on top of the generally impeccable vibes the implication that the person with this title is meant to be graceful is really spicy both when they do and when they don't live up to that. and yes, you CAN call monarchs this, as well as dukes/duchesses.

your eminence: 10/10 i love eminence... honestly i'm not really sure what rank this is used for but it's sexy regardless i think.

your [other virtue]: i can't actually rate this since it obviously depends on the virtue chosen however as long as it's not something overly cheesy it's hard to go wrong. the more unreasonable to live up to 24/7 the better. should usually be 8/10 or higher if you put some thought into it.

your [negative attribute]: 0/10 sounds like a barbie movie villain. just stop.

no title to someone who by all rights should be referred to by title: 3/10 i like this when done well but a lot of the time people are just like 'intimacy isn't possible when you're using a title so they HAVE to drop it'. which is boring and unsexy. having a repressed character who has consistently kept to propriety drop the title at a significant moment can be very hot if done delicately and sparingly. but so can turning the title itself into a term of endearment!

using the wrong title: 1/10 you've ruined the moment. the only time this is acceptable is if the slip-up is justified for the character in universe eg. they were thinking of someone else, the person they're addressing just got promoted or demoted, they're doing some kind of weird roleplay thing, etc. in that case like 9/10 actually that's hot.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

heyo! i was wondering, do you have any general guidelines or tips on how to make goatfolk/goat-like humanoids? like, things that based on your judgement should be essential to their physiology and/or society. your opinion is highly appreciated and valued! ^^

sure! I'm going with a really standard domestic goat as reference here, but there are many breeds of goat with their own distinct features, so don't take this as the only way to design goat people. some goat breeds don't really have horns or the little beard, or they have floppy ears instead of tall ones, etc. sheep and goats are also very closely related and have a lot of features in common! sometimes what you think is a photo of a goat is actually a breed of sheep! So you kind of have to decide which specific goats you want to use as a reference point.

image description: faded photos of a goat and some close ups on a goat's face and hoof, all outlined in red. notes on the photos point out specific features. horns, short body, horizontal pupils, cleft lip, and even toed hooves. end description.)

I think the facial features here are probably the most important to keep in mind, as they'll be the same for any goat breed. they all have eyes with horizontal pupils and they all have that upper lip with the cleft. I tried to look up another word for that, because cleft lip also refers to a congenital condition in humans and animals where there's a split in the upper lip and possible the palate of the mouth. a lot of animals like goats and rabbits and cats have this sort of line dividing their upper lip into two parts. it's also called a philitrum, but we use that word for the dip between a human lip and nose as well. unfortunately an internet search for "what do you call it when animals have that separated lip thing going on" mostly turned up information on the congenital condition and how to treat it in livestock and pets. so i don't know if there's a better term for it other than a cleft lip. either way, it is a very recognizable feature on goats and I think it helps make a goat humanoid look more goat-like.

(image description: sketches of an anthropomorphic goat, with a close up on their face. They are short and chubby. end description.)

This is a design that leans heavier on the goat features, but you can go for something more humanoid, like a satyr. depends on what your end goal is for the design!

as for their social and cultural aspects, here's a couple of articles on goat behaviors:

article 1

article 2

important details to keep in mind:

goats are foragers, they wander around to find food and they're well known to have very broad diets, including the ability to eat some things other animals avoid, like tough thorny vines.

goats tend to have a lead female, also known as a doe, guiding the herd. a lead male, known as a buck, will usually bring up the rear. the lead female makes decisions about where the herd will go, the lead male guards the back and is very defensive.

a herd of goats usually has a hierarchy going on and they will defend their own places in that hierarchy. age, sex, and horn size are common determining factors.

goats are climbers, and they'll climb anything including each other. baby goats are especially active about this.

goats headbutt each other for various reasons. this includes establishment of hierarchy, defense, and play.

so goat people might have a matriarchal system, with males as guards while females are guides. they may have a culture centered on fighting as a form of social communication and entertainment. they could be nomadic as well. their dance style is probably very acrobatic, jumpy, and reflective of their fighting style.

those are just a handful of ideas off the top of my head! i hope it's helpful and i wish you luck and fun as you design your goat folk!

[nomsfaultau]

Did you have any ideas about a Summer Court in Lord What Fools These Mortals Be?

I’ve been trying to do research for this one but folklore sources are difficult, plus I keep finding stuff for A Court of Porn and Roses or whatever that series is. But also I wrote the first two chapters of Lord..be!in the woods with no internet so accuracy was never big for this fic. Plus the Summer Court won’t actually show up, so this is more world building for the sake of it. 

Typically the Summer Court is Seelie aligned. Still dangerous obviously, but more benevolent, or easier to convince to be so. I suspect there’s some propaganda in that though. They have an easier time luring humans in, know how to act less suspicious. Cause if we look at Mister King Winter Philza his vibes were positively rank and he only managed to trick Tommy cause he’s stupid as hell. The Summer Court is probably far more convincing, more subtle in their cruelty. Very sweet and pretty and kind if you don’t ask too many questions.

In direct opposition to Lady Death, the Summer Court is pulsing with life. It’s too vibrant, too alive. Things aren’t allowed to die in the Summer Court. Their bodies simply pick up and keep going. Lady Death and Philza are desperate about the preservation of their fleeting children, and I think the Summer Court would be the opposite. Bodies don’t rot in the winter court, perfectly maintained. Life is maintained in the Summer Courts but the body is not. Decay is fueled with heat and humidity. Big on a garments and masks and flowers that hide the rotten parts. They’re terrified of permanent death, because then the souls go to the Winter Court and that place sucks. Soul anchors and lichdom kinda seem like the vibe, the type where classics fairytale witches cut out their heart and hide it to keep it safe.

I had the idea of almost a storm theme. Summer lightning storms and tornadoes and hurricanes. And heat too obviously, crackling in the air and radiating off of every fae inside. Lightning strikes sweeping wild fires across everything, and it’s the only way to purge the rot and give space for new life to flourish. It’s the only shake up to the deeply entrenched hierarchy, though mostly in the middle ranks since the powerful can avoid it. Usually guaranteed death among the lower Courts. Like straight up it’s just randomly purge night sometimes and it really do be like that.

Also they’re totally aware Lady Death is trying to force eternal life on mortals and healing them and are miffed about it but what can yah do. Philza is an intolerable abomination and violates like 26 treaties but like they can’t DO anything and are just coping and seething about Lady Death’s weird Frankenstein husband. And she probably has a Mr Krabs/Plankton dynamic where Lady Death keeps trying to steal the secret formula to eternal life and gets thwarted repeatedly.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Is chaos magic like. “Raw” or “undomesticated”magic (if that makes sense)? More wild/untamed compared to what Dr strange/etc does? I’m legitimately unsure if that’s something that’s canon (or at least suggested) or some kind of headcanon that snuck up on me. Also: are there any other casters who prominently use chaos magic? does Natalya?

No, that is not a description that has ever been clearly or consistently applied to chaos magic in the Marvel universe. This notion of low magic vs. high magic-- or "wild" and "undomesticated," as you put it, vs. elevated or sophisticated-- is not uncommon in fantasy, and sometimes, in real-life occult traditions. I find that it often carries racist connotations, and given how often Wanda is the only woman of color in a room of magic characters, I'd prefer to avoid playing into that concept here. Wanda's mastery of witchcraft, and specifically, chaos magic, has, at times, been described as amateur or undirected, but that's literally because she lacked experience. She' was on a learning curve from the 70s to the late-90s. She's long-since graduated from that stage.

I've written about the varying depictions of chaos magic and its properties before. [x] [x] In contemporary comics, we understand chaos to be a primordial, naturally occurring, universal force and a foundational element of seemingly all magic. Typically, it appears to be volatile and difficult to control. In older comics, it was associated solely with Chthon and the Darkhold, and was primarily characterized as dark, spooky, and kind of underworldy-- literally "chthonic". In the 80s and 90s, as Wanda learns more about her powers, she comes to understand that chaos magic, besides twisting probabilities, can transcend many boundaries that other forms of magic cannot.

Most recently, I think a distinction is beginning to form between Chthon as a god of chaos, and the magics he wrought, and chaos as a primordial force or magical element. Although Wanda recieved her powers from Chthon, and as a result, has always been vulnerable to him, it is probably most accurate to say that they both have the same elemental affinity. She's tapped into the same force that he embodies.

In comparison to Doctor Strange, it's not a question of refinement, just a difference of origin. The sorceries Stephen practices are largely derived from the teachings of the Vishanti, specifically Agamotto, the son of the Elder Goddess Oshtur. There's a whole saga and mythology there, just as there's a whole saga and mythology of how the Darkhold was written. Broadly speaking, most of the mythical or cosmological concepts in the concepts are not competing in a hierarchy, they're just operating in different lanes, and I think that's important to remember.

Billy's powers are also defined as chaos magic, and he inherited them directly from Wanda.Besides him, though, there aren't any characters who have a natural affinity for chaos magic in the same way that Wanda does. She received that power as a result of Chthon's interference, so it wasn't a part of her magical lineage. Natalya was a witch, and by all accounts a formidable one, but chaos magic was not one of her abilities. If you're questioning why or how Billy inherited that power, unfortunately, there are no clear answers. We do know that Chthon specially altered Wanda's "mutation" to act as a conduit for chaos magic, so it's likely that Billy inherited this trait and gained access to chaos magic without Chthon's direct interference.

So, who else can use it? As Chthon's daughter, Victoria Montessi has a natural affinity for his power. She's sensitive to the Darkhold's magic and is one of the few people who can handle it without being corrupted, but the text never explicitly describes her as a chaos magic wielder. In Mighty Avengers (2007), Chthon was able to possess Pietro in the same way he previously possessed Wanda, implying that Pietro has a similar affinity, although this has never been explored further.

The text has never been entirely clear as to whether or not the spells and such written in the Darkhold are technically chaos magic in the same way as Chthon or Wanda's personal powers. But the Darkhold has been trafficked all over the world and given rise to several cults. Notable sorcerers throughout history, such as Morgan Le Fay, have used it, and many monster and demons have been born from it, or from Chthon himself. Modred the Mystic is a longtime devotee of Chthon and once transformed himself into a living Darkhold, of sorts.

In the Contest of Chaos event, Agatha stole Chthon's heart and was using it to craft a new version of the Darkhold. She also demonstrated to ability to channel, direct, and harvest Earth's naturally occurring chaos magic. So while she doesn't have an innate affinity for this power, the way Wanda does, with skill, cunning, and the right materials, she was able to wield it. In the end, she succeeded in creating a new Darkhold, but it took on a life of its own in the form of an adolescent boy. The child-- who, frustratingly, is still unnamed-- has cast several spells that were presumably written in one or both versions of the book. Is that "chaos magic"? It might not be the same as what Wanda does, but I have to imagine that it counts.

[sunshineyoujustwait]

seventeen million years late to this, as usual, but now that I have five minutes to spare- better late than never!

Tag Game:

tagged by the wonderful, talented and gorgeous @cupidskissx ily and apologies this took 5 business days to respond to

rule(s): post a snippet (however long or short or longish or shortish) from a wip !!

this is a longer snippet from a work I started ages ago and completely forgot about, I may return to it now that I remembered it exists lmao

“Do you ever wonder, like, is there supposed to be something more than this?”

Charles rolls his eyes, glancing over to where Max is laid out on his balcony, beer dangling precariously from one hand. “Max, it’s the new year, not the end of the world.” Max huffs at him, takes another sip of his beer. “That’s not what I mean, it’s just- what’s next, you know?” Charles glances longingly at the glass double doors leading back into the apartment, wonders if Max would notice if he just dipped from this entire conversation. Lando and Carlos are playing beer pong, and it’s suddenly looking very appealing.  He sighs, turning back to the blonde beside him. “What’s next for you is probably more race wins, maybe a third championship.” Charles tries not to sound bitter, he’s not sure how successful he is.  “Sorry,” Max winces a little. “I know you should probably hate me right now.” I’m trying to, Charles thinks, but I can’t. It’s an unfair thought really, none of this is Max’s fault. There’s plenty of blame to go around for the mess that was last season and Max doesn’t deserve any of it. Still, it feels like it would be easier to hate him, if that was something he was capable of doing.  Max rolls over onto his stomach, narrowly avoiding falling off the hammock he’s curled himself into. “Winning is great and all, and I love racing, but it just feels a little hollow or something, lately. We fly across the world, we race, we come home, rinse and repeat, same thing every week.” Charles glances at Max where he’s sprawled out across the hammock. He looks fine, a little drunk maybe, but not like someone on the verge of an existential crisis. His hair is flopping into his eyes and Charles’ hands twitch with a sudden desire to run his fingers through the errant strands. It’s not a new feeling, exactly, it’s just that sometimes when he looks at Max under the lights like this, soft and relaxed, it makes his breath catch in his throat and his stomach whirl with an as of yet unnamed feeling.  Other times, he just wants to strangle him. “Must be nice,” he mutters, “getting sick of winning.” Max groans. “Fuck off, you know that's not what I meant. It's just that, it feels like there should be something more, you know? Someone to share it all with, lights on when you come home, that sort of thing.” Charles doesn't know, not really, but he supposes it makes sense in a way. You achieve one dream - world champion, check (twice) - then you start seeking out the next. In Max's case that seems to be some sort of cosy picket fence. Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but for millionaires who drive fast cars for a living.  He's still stuck on the previous step of the pyramid though, so he's not feeling entirely charitable about it right now.  “Then date, find someone, it's not that complicated.” It comes out harsher than intended, but Charles is feeling a little lost at the direction of this conversation, and the image of Max settling down is rattling around in his brain for some reason, ugly and discordant.  Max is quiet for a moment, and Charles kind of maybe feels like a bit of an asshole.  “Tried that,” he says finally. “It didn’t exactly work out.” Charles definitely feels like an asshole then, winces at the words because, yeah, he did. There’d been a ring and everything, it had been a bit messy.  “Sorry,” he tries, but Max waves him off, shrugging. "Do you not get lonely?" "I date." Max snorts at that, which- rude.  “I have racing. I like racing. I'm not-” he gestures vaguely at Max's sprawled form- “losing it because I don’t have someone waiting for me when I come home. I’m happy.” “Yeah well, I guess it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.” “What doesn’t?” “Racing.” That catches Charles’ attention, sets the alarm bells ringing in his admittedly alcohol muddled mind. There are few constants in his life but Max and racing are two of them. 

Everyone has probably been tagged by now as I'm so late but if you see this and you haven't then plz, this is your invite!! Share all the snippets !!!

[cringearenachamp]

She's Mine: or, patriarchy as capitalism's pressure valve

Journey is fun, sometimes pretty, sometimes melodramatically-pretty arena pop rock. Steve's first solo album stripped out a lot of the melodrama (not all of it tho hehe) to focus on his more R&B/soul-style roots. He also embodied a more masculine image, and perhaps also tried to step out of the "boy next door who never gets the girl" (as Jon describes it) lil angel-boy persona he would use-- perhaps less and less comfortably as he aged into his thirties-- with Journey. He fully focused on his tenor range and belted from there, wore that goofy-ass fedora, and while he sung his more typical fare of star-crossed yearning, trying to avoid said yearning, and attempts to save loves that are likely already over, he also has.... She's Mine.

Journey isn't a stranger to using patronizing or possessive misogyny in songs: they were a 70s/80s rock band made up of dudes. That sort of thing is sadly standard fare. Journey doesn't actually have a lot of examples that REALLY get to me, though Line of Fire is kinda eyebrow raising as a cheeky little ditty about a guy threatening a woman with a shotgun (with the woman being the villain of the song just for MAYBE cheating on the guy with the shotgun-- but then again, this is just kind of The Beatles' Maxwell's Silver Hammer in a way). Backtalk, from Frontiers, has a lot more of a serious tone, and while there's no guns involved this time it's still very much about a man trying to reassert his masculinity by threatening and condescending to a woman he feels has castrated him (to get Freudian with it again) by being Too Mean. Backtalk is a phrase you usually associate with children or teenagers: trying to put a woman back in her "place" by talking to her like a child. Hmmm... even if she isn't treating you fairly, I don't think this approach is going to make her any nicer to you (in fact, I think this approach simply continues the cycle of meanness more than it's any real fight back against it!)!

She's Mine is closer to Backtalk's threatening/possessive tone than it is to Line of Fire's cheeky one. This time, the addressee is another man, with the main thrust of the song being, simply, "my girlfriend likes you but she's MY girlfriend not yours so go away". Okay! Very common theme in music-- women sing their own versions of it: Dolly Parton's Jolene for example is basically the gender flipped version of this. The tone of Jolene is far more pleading, though: she's begging her to not take her man, literally, while also talking about how beautiful she is, lol. She's Mine, on the other hand, is sung very masculinely, and it's to another (heterosexual) man, so he has to speak their language: in other words, begging and pleading are off the menu. The woman in this song is an object between men, who are both given subjectivity. She doesn't get a say in who she chooses or what she wants to do; she's there to be owned and for the narrator to claim ownership of her.

While the lyrics of She's Mine aren't full of blatantly hateful misogyny, the idea that men are supposed to own women, women are supposed to belong to men, and that men control the relationship are ALL extremely misogynistic ideas and they're insidiously commonplace! Backtalk is stained with these sorts of ideas as well: hence addressing the woman as if she's a misbehaving child. Under patriarchal capitalism, The Family as a structure-- alongside being a space of personal and financial support-- is something of an engine designed to naturalize and perpetuate men's authority over women and parents' authority over children (and, more broadly, this structure also serves to naturalize and support the economic hierarchies that currently run our world). Conservative forces want to make "the family" line up with this ideal as much as possible and to take it to its extremes: liberals might also accept the "nuclear family" as more natural than it really is, but conservatives want to make the most of it as a tool of control over women and children for their own purposes (ex: banning same-sex marriage, banning abortion, banning divorce, cutting funding for public schools, etc).

Walter Herbert, Journey's manager, often conceptualized the band as a "family", with him, naturally, as the patriarch. He unsurprisingly had a very conservative view of what family entailed in this particular instance: he was the man with the vision the money and the power, and the band were supposed to be his loyal lackeys. In his own words, "I put the band together, absolutely, man by man. Personally hand-picked each person, and it was, you know, it was MY band - no doubt about it. It was my band and I had total authority, and total autonomy and total control, and nobody minded one fucking bit.". If The Family is supposed to be about upholding the power of the patriarch and Herbie's the patriarch, then this quote can't be seen as much of a surprise, but it IS extremely telling as to his approach and even as to some of his worldview (it certainly makes me worried about how he treated any women in his life, for one thing). Most of the men in Journey were fine upholding this particular patriarch's power: as I mentioned in other essays, the "perks" from buying into Herbie's family system were easily attainable to people like Neal.

Steve, of course, didn't buy into this system and seemed to really start to chafe against it by the time 1982 rolled around. This was when he started really limit testing: rallying the rest of the band to cut the '82 tour short (which might be an example of a little collective labor action of a kind!) and getting his own cover art chosen for Frontiers, for example. He even tried to get a different TITLE for the album: something he failed to do here, but had enough leverage to achieve the next time. There's no real reason or motivation for the last two things, in my opinion, except for trying to poke holes in the idea that Herbie should have ultimate authority over creative decisions. A press conference held during this time-- where Steve stresses that "without a song, you don't have none of this [fame, money, etc]" and "too many people in this industry believe that they're driving the ship, but let me tell ya [...] the song, the performance, and the band is where it starts"-- lends even more plausibility to this reading of the situation.

Steve's personal relationship with Sherrie was, in his words, "at best, difficult" (from the VH1 behind the music doco). If Backtalk is autobiographical, then he was dealing with a lot of fighting with her while ALSO fighting against his BOSS. If you're a man struggling against a man that has more power over you-- if your boss is also "castrating" you-- then you might seek to reassert the masculine authority patriarchy promised you by controlling the "weaker" people patriarchy also "promised" you: that is, women and children. If Steve was the "defiant" one that refused to buy into Herbie's system, Sherrie seemed to be "defiant" in her own way! Yet, sadly, she also seemed to buy into patriarchal ideas: for example, calling the Separate Ways actress a "slut" for... existing? So she likely also expected Steve to "measure up" in a hetero-masculine sense, and may have even internalized the idea that being "owned" by him was a good thing: he just had to be disciplined into a worthy "owner". So in that sense, both Herbie and Sherrie were trying, in their own ways, to discipline Steve into a Proper Man. Steve at this point seemed to think that the answer was to get one over on her by saying "um you're not being a WOMAN right, actually" so he could win against *SOME*body without having to question anything about himself or his own worldview. This was, of course, a losing answer to a trick question.

(and it goes back to this again!)

Both patriarchal masculinity and capitalism trap people within roles that harm them and those around them in order to ultimately benefit a very few at the top. Everyday people with certain privileges can buy in to certain benefits of patriarchal masculinity and capitalism, of course: that's part of why these ideas are as ingrained as they are. If it was all stick and no carrot, it wouldn't be worth it. Patriarchal masculinity is in itself used as a sort of pressure valve: direct working men's anger towards those weaker than them instead of those that actually have power over them, so they feel strong and FEEL in control. Steve is someone who was very insecure and always wanted to feel in control. It isn't surprising to me, then, that at least for awhile, patriarchal masculinity was something that was seductive to him. Yet despite trying to buy into it, he never seemed to be convincing enough at it to please Herbie OR Sherrie. Maybe the winning move is... not to play?

Within She's Mine, there's one potential solution within the lyrics to the trick question of "do you control or be controlled?". In an interview about the song, Steve describes the type of man the narrator is threatening as one that has a "magnetic pull". The narrator also fantasizes about going over to his hotel himself to threaten him, and freaks out over his girlfriend saying his name in her sleep and stuff. Like, he says that, but HE'S the one obsessing over him for the entire song! In this reading, the woman is objectified in order for the narrator to project his own feelings for the mystery man onto her, because owning her is far more comfortable than owning his feelings. Realizing HE'S the one getting "pulled in" would destroy his conception of himself, a conception built upon heteronormativity and normative heterosexual masculinity. But maybe that kind of destruction can be a good thing? Maybe it's not a destruction at all, but a kind of creation? Maybe it's a way OUT?

Throughout the beginning of the Oh Sherrie video, Steve stresses about being placed in roles he feels don't fit him. He doesn't want to be an actor, he doesn't want to be a husband, but that's what's expected of him, so at first, he tries to go along with it all. Yet before the song even kicks in he throws off his prince uniform, states that he "can't do this", and later states that this isn't even him, that he doesn't need it.

I think he was more right than even he knew at the time. Did he ever realize JUST how right?

[likeadog]

noo wait transfem arsene is clicking so many things into place waitttt

like. i wanted them to be monoamniotic twins because what that means is a very late split hence the identical features as well as share a placenta and like, arsene not only being the younger one birth wise but the one that formed by splitting off the other and this insecurity around being some kind of parasite or leftoveer discard especially with how ayano chooses to pour her resources and time into the child who will inherit her business and the way her disability has created a reliance on the other members f the family but that disability is the result of the same kind of thinking where the damaged eye wasnt nurtured back to health and strengthened over the course of years it was just declared bust from the beginning and instead a corrective lens was given to the remaining eye.

the twins taking two drastic approaches to their appearance: romulus rejects the idea of being his mothers mini-me but arsene embraces the inherited features and like. the saying in transfem communities thats like "you wont look like that celebrity or that anime girl you will look like your mom and thats a wonderful thing" and so that resemblance takes on an entirely different context.

and like. arsene plays roles and is a "master of disguise" and "master of escape" and so shes willing to play the part of the fool, the odd one out, the burn out; its easier and more rewarded to do what is expected than it is to succeed, and she is weighed down by the hopelessness of consistently being told that she failed before she even started. and, in a way, she feels guilty for existing; for being that "parasite", for becoming another responsibility for her brother, and the performance of failure is an attempt to help him by creating a lower standard-- no matter what he does, he's not her.

and in a way, ayano has unwittingly recreated the scenario of her own youth: the preferred elder brother and stubborn younger sister, but for her and reimon, that encouraged competition turned into closeness and ambition and the feeling it was them against the world-- but in her children, that competition led to one injuring the other permanently out of envy and insecurity, which then went from being a competition to a household hierarchy enforced tenfold because she plays favorites and rewards ruthlessness. but that doesnt mean there isnt solidarity and a bond between the siblings; romulus was never his brother's keeper, but he is his sister's.

she is so sharply and bitterly aware of herself to the point it is painful. the world is a stage, and she has convinced herself that everyone is scrutinizing her the same way her parents do or the directors and producers and audience of the projects she was in as a child did. self sabotage is the only tool of rebellion she has. stealing ideas, identities, items-- its her equalizer, her way of trying to exist the way others do, the embodiment of an inability to be satisfied with what she has and who she is, but while spurning the vulnerability of asking by simply taking. she doesnt know what to do when given something, so every time she demands attention and this demand is answered, it becomes a tightrope walk of maintaining having it as opposed to allowing the audience to yank it away at any moment.

and ive already talked abt ayanos internalized misogyny (in a server oops); her daughter is not immune from becoming entangled in it. sometimes ayano attempts a mother-daughter bond, but arsene performs an entirely different kind of femininity than ayano in order to avoid being seen as a potential threat to the way ayano leverages her role as The Matriarch to maintain order in the home. arsene is experiencing neoteny; she must carry childishness and immaturity into her adulthood to avoid appearing like she is becoming too independent. girlhood is new to her, and womanhood is even newer, and shes struggling to figure out what that means for her while balancing the expectations and insecurities of her mother -- ones that are bound by rules that werent ever really shared with her while growing up.

she plays up a boisterous personality as a way to try and deter people from believing she's an easy target, but if the social equivalent of eye-spots on a butterfly or coral snake stripes doesn't work, she folds into a learned helplessness that has her laughing along at best or entirely shutting down at worst. a magician only has tricks. anyway i kinda forgot where i was going with this but do u see the vision

[lazywriter-artist]

do you have any lore for your guardsmen plsplspls whats their dynamics like

Glad you asked Anon! I do :)

So my silly boys (their full size/non chibi designs can be found here) are still kind of in a developmental stage really but I do have some set in stone stuff

For the most part all three are pretty young recruits and really haven’t seen enough action to be jaded and chiseled as some so they’ve still got some whimsy left in them— this aided by the fact that they typically spend more time cooped up with the machine cult worshippers due to the magos Domnius deciding these silly humans need to be with him and his skits (ya won’t catch them complaining—) means they’re pretty comfy for being guardsman

My current idea with them really is that they have come from various regiments, at least Starr did, and were brought together by their kidnapping surprise adoption by the Magos. Enos is probably the freshest to the ranks of the imperium with a bit more hope in his eyes and a zest for life, while Starr I’d say has probably been a guardsman for the longest. I wouldn’t say Starr is all jaded and sad like say Galileo or storvis, but they’ve definitely been exposed more to the ‘guardsman the lowest rank in the hierarchy’ ideals and kind of knows their place is already set when higher ranking officials arrive.

Upon finding themselves “reassigned” to the magos they quickly grew close to one another and formed a bery quick brotherly bond :)

On the more tactical side, I’d say (which might eventually reflect in their designs who knows-) Starr is/was(?) a weapons specialist for his company, while Luther served as a vox-Operator and Enos served as a just really average run of the mill trooper

I will say not too much has been set in stone for them as with a lot of my ocs they’re kind of constantly shaping in my head especially as I take more lore in from warhammer itself :)!

More of their dynamic side is definitely aforementioned a very brotherly one

They have sort of roles they fall into but tend to hop between them a lot

Like Starr tends to be the collected level headed older brother but this role can also be filled by Lute (they’re all about the same age with maybe a year difference between Starr and Enos so ‘older brother’ ‘younger brother’ ect. Tends to just be a personality reference more then an age thing)

Lute often fills ‘mischievous but well meaning middle brother’ but again sometimes you’ll see Enos in this behavior pattern

Enos typically being the skittish youngest sibling who is trying to figure out the world

But yeah, it mostly cuts down to their deeper personalities

Lute resents his place as ‘lowest member of the food chain’ as many dismiss him as a meat shield before a word in edge wise can even be gained. And it’s frustrating for him especially as he does a very important job as a Vox operator, certain commands wouldn’t be able to go through without him!

Starr similarly resents these ideals, they’re a well oiled machine not some barbaric system of dog eat dog! Even if they might be just that— but he’d never do anything about it. He finds it’s just better for everyone if he puts his head down and avoids conflict over something as trivial as that. He knows he’s important and that’s all that matters to him

While Enos is mostly oblivious to such ideas, he can kind of sense and I mean obviously see he’s different in rank to say a general or a commissar, but he doesn’t see why they’d get preferential treatment over that rank! Save for probably some things but hey! The imperium cares for its most important, the glue that keeps the imperium going!!

So over all they help even one another out, Starr can take over in terms when it comes with dealing with the tar pit of a bureaucracy the imperium can be, Lute is there to act as some healthy (and very VERY light) rebellion, while Enos can keep some youthful wonder about the trio

And again, they’re all very diluted versions of these ideals due to just how the imperium works (as I understand it—) in general.

You can’t really be a full blown rebel bc that means your a heretic and you get kablowied all over the wall, so the most rebellious tendencies you’ll get from Luther is him whining about it later and what have you.

Ya can’t really hold your eyes too wide with whimsy and joy lest the dust of the town you just watched get obliterated get in your eyes

And just gotta accept your blissful ignorance sometimes and fall into line with the rest

But all and all that’s pretty much it for what I have on them and tbh some of it is very likely to change but we shall see lol

Thank you for the ask!!

[dailyanarchistposts]

What’s the deal with feminism and anarchy?

What’s the correlation between the two? I’ve heard some a-feminists say all anarchists are (or should be) feminists. Is patriarchy really that prevalent or that big of a problem? Feminism just seems like a whiny way of saying women need to be treated equally, yet differently and even better than men.

dot

First—this question seems to be trolling, both in its language and in its content. But since this topic hasn’t been fleshed out here much, I will continue on the premise of good faith. This answer is not going to be a tome, so it doesn’t go into sufficient detail about the complexities around gender vs sex, etc...

Patriarchy is in fact that big of a problem. Women (and women-identified people, which includes tons of people, including entirely straight men in certain contexts) are still attacked as women, paid significantly less then men for the same type of work, devalued in many levels of society (politics, etc), ignored, trivialized, etc. That is just on the bare surface level. If you consider patriarchy to be the thing that keeps us locked in a gender binary, which many feminists (and anarchists) do, then the fact that most of us don’t get to have the kinds of relationships that we want, or be the people we want to be, regardless of our gender/sex, is based on patriarchy.

There are at least as many kinds of feminists as there are of anarchists (probably more).

Since on one level feminists are saying that the standard way of doing things is a problem because of inherited and recreated hierarchies that don’t allow people our full expression, then yes, feminism and anarchy can be seen as intimately related. On the other hand, some feminists just want more women in government, so those feminists have nothing in common with anarchists.

Calling feminists whiny makes me want to hit you in the face.

While identity politics (the idea that a particular identity is a fundamental issue that is worth organizing around—and can be organized around) has a lot of problems and weaknesses, it is one of the easiest ways to (start to) look at many of the inequities of the system we live in. Many people get to that stage and make a home there, replicating power trips that mirror (as in reverse-image) the dynamics in the larger society. Those people are particularly prone to contradictions in what they are asking for (treat me the same and treat me differently). But sometimes what appears to be a contradiction is actually someone taking into account the different contexts of women and men. For example, what self defense looks like for women vs what it looks like for men can be significantly different, since women and men are mostly socialized with diametrically opposed understandings of physical violence.

fnk

“if you consider patriarchy to be the thing that keeps us locked in gender binary...”

I see most feminist responses to patriarchy as absolutely perpetuating the “gender” binary, just as patriarchy does. Some might see that as inherently wrapped up in the bogeyman of feminism patriarchy, where everything that “results” from patriarchy is somehow explainable (or even justifiable) as such. I see that perspective as a far-too-easy avoidance of the complexities of power dynamics in every relationship.

This raises a few related questions in my head. Are patriarchy and feminism, by definition, manifestations of binary thinking?

Is feminism merely a response to patriarchy? Or is it a separately existing concept/ideology, that would/could exist even without patriarchy? One that is not really about gender, or race, or class, ... Or perhaps is the same concept/ideology?

One final thought on the original question. Patriarchy is, at some level, an institution (at least it is seen that way by many). Any anarchist I care to hang with is against all institutions (which are inherently controlling and homogenizing). A feminist who is against patriarchy but not against other institutions (work/capitalism, government; these seem to be the contexts within which patriarchal behavior is measured, at least on the broad scale), is really no different from the communist who is against one institution (capitalism) but not the rest (including, but not limited to, the state, industrialism, etc). Just my 2c.

dot

“I see most feminist responses to patriarchy as absolutely perpetuating the “gender” binary”

Sure. and most anarchists maintain fucked up patterns of behavior that contradict what anarchy is too. Not trying to make an exact correlation or anything, and I hang with anarchists not feminists for exactly the reasons that you mention, but it is true that very few people push the things that they believe in, in the directions that seem appropriate (and/or obvious) to me.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

I don't think enough femme ppl realize that most cis men's access to male privilege is shaky at best to begin with. The patriarchy enforces toxic masculinity by raising men to believe that they constantly compete against other men to prove that they are a REAL MAN (TM). This underpins a lot of what we call male fragility, as this ties many men's sense of identity to external validation which can be confiscated by their shittiest peers. This is why guys often run around constantly doing things to prove their masculinity to their peers, sometimes even delving into inappropriate behaviors like catcalling, sexual harassment, and pretty much any kind of violence. And this can happen to any cis guy who fails to meet one or more of the Patriarchy's standards for REAL MANHOOD.

Too scrawny? Not a real man.

Too poor to provide? Not a real man.

Too sensitive? Not a real man

Not sexually aggressive/virile? Not a real man.

Any of these things and a billions others can cause, and I can't stress this enough, cis men, to lose their "man card" , which is basically ostracization, coupled with a loss of status that can leave one vulnerable to homophobic harassment (because if you're not a man, you can be treated like those lower on the hierarchy, according to the Patriarchy) This is how The Patriarchy shames men into accepting the constraints of Toxic Masculinity, and punishes those who would challenge or speak out against it.

So to act as though trans men would be welcomed into some imagined Boy's Club when they often don't meet the often bio essentialist standards of the Patriarchy, and to act like none of the above has any similarities to any other forms of oppression is ludicrous. That boys club being imagined here BARELY exists for the men in it (the middle school dick measuring doesn't stop for those in the 1 percent, after all), and the vast majority of men are on the outside looking into them because they are such highly specific situations within certain institutions that they are a rarity. Too many people on this site make too many assumptions about mascs and masculinity despite having made every attempt to avoid engaging with men and masc ppl on the subject.

I think a big reason trans men do not appear in media as often as other queer identities, as well as historical erasure to a point, is because it goes against many women's experience with challenging bigotry. I cannot tell you how many pieces of media exist with "girl dresses as boy to get Privilege or Respect she wasn't given before, but has to reveal she is A Woman by the end as she has to prove women can do The Thing TM too and it's more 'honest' to her identity'". With a lot of trans masc/man historical figures there is constant fighting over whether it was really a women fighting the patriarchy and not a guy struggling with being trans. There is a book about "female husbands and the women that love them" for Christ's sake. We are constantly interpreted as on the border of being super hurt/proactive women for the sake of that class's conscience, and anything else is "taking away" from women's more important issues, supposedly. I'm just tired of all afab people having trouble with their identity being funneled into the "women good, patriarchy/men bad" pipeline or else. It feels like me talking about being a man, even in a trans context, is unacceptable because it *might affect a women at some point

[fromdevcom]

You’re getting plenty of traffic to your website, which is great, but maybe that traffic isn’t converting. What gives? There are many tactics you can try out that may help you succeed in converting larger numbers. We’ve picked some that we feel are most effective and recommend you try a combination of a few: Make sure your call to action is the star of your website. The design of your site needs to reflect the primary function, the primary way that you are looking for a conversion. First of all, make sure you know what that primary conversion should be. Do you want people to make a purchase? Contact you? Take a survey? If there’s any confusion for you about the goal, that confusion is likely to be reflected on your website. Come up with a hierarchy for conversions, and make sure they are reflected in the design of your site. If making a purchase is the primary conversion, make it easy to do that, but if contact is a secondary conversion, make it simple and intuitive to find your contact information as well. Your website needs to look professional and function well. Consider hiring a web designer and/or developer who will understand your goals and who can bring some creative approaches to your ideas. But it’s no use having a flashy website if it’s difficult to use, so make sure everything is in proportion to the goal of your website. Remove any obstacles that would prevent your customers from getting to the end goal as quickly as possible. For example, if you are trying to sell a product, don’t force them to make a login or to sign up for your emails, as that will be distracting and may drive away sales, even if you have an exclusive product. Make it as easy as possible to get from the beginning to the end, and offer every convenience that you yourself might expect from a business with really excellent customer service. Keep your website secure. If, at any point, your website is hacked, if customer data is stolen, or if someone interferes with your website’s normal activity, it can have a huge impact on your business—even after the problem is fixed. To avoid any security problems, make sure you are using a web host that is safe and secure. If you are hosting your own website, be sure you or an employee is knowledgeable and highly trained on proper protocol. No matter what kind of host and management style you choose, you should implement a website scanner that will scan your site daily for any suspicious activity and take care of any problems before they occur. Have answers ready for their questions. Sometimes, there’s just one simple question preventing a conversion, so make sure answers are easy to find. Consider having a FAQ page, or add a web chat window with live support. Offer an email address (and perhaps a phone number as well) exclusively for customers’ questions. Making it easy for your customers to get answers to their questions can spell the difference between a conversion and a failure. If possible, use video to bring your product or service to life. High-quality photos are great, but videos are better because people are visual and they like to see what they’re considering purchasing put into action. Make sure you have high-quality video editing software and make a short, but interesting video about your products. Have a well-written "About" page on your website. For many websites, the “About” page will be one of the most frequently used pages on the site, so it’s very important that this page provides plenty of detailed and verifiable information about your business, including a physical address as this can make your company seem much more credible and trustworthy. Develop your content wisely. Depending on what your call to action is, different types of content will be useful in different ways, so make sure you aren’t trying to fit a round peg into a square hole by using irrelevant content formats. For example, if you are running a craft beer operation, it would make sense for you to maintain a small blog with regular but not overly frequent updates.

This can reinforce the idea that your business is local, personal, and interesting. However, if you are trying to run a B2B operation selling factory hardware, you’re probably going to get more benefit out of customer testimonials than out of a blog, so make sure you are planning and choosing your content in a logical and effective way. These days, it’s rare that a business can continue to grow and develop without strong, competitive web presence. But simply having a website is not enough. Make sure you are really getting a return on investment for the cost of web development and other website maintenance expenses by increasing your conversions as much as possible. These days, it’s rare that a business can continue to grow and develop without strong, competitive web presence. But simply having a website is not enough. Make sure you are really getting a return on investment for the cost of web development and other website maintenance expenses by increasing your conversions as much as possible.

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 1:13 - Our Hero (Page 2)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / CHAPTERS / WARNINGS

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CONTENT WARNING: death, grieving

Clementia

After reading my brother's letter, I'll have to cancel tomorrow's sermon to be with him for some time. It's late, but I know Shepherd Julian is dealing with the Great Convincer visit. I hoped it'd gone well, but by the time I get through the door, still startled by the gaudy new red wallpaper- I see Shepherd Julian sitting on the pew. His head is in his hands, and he's mumbling something to himself. It's not like him to seem so downtrodden.

"Is everything okay, Shepherd Julian?"

"Argh, don't worry too much about it. The Great Convincer has been replaced by some awful woman who doesn't understand how people work because all she does all day is sit at her study, whilst the Proxy blows smoke up her backside!"

"I don't think that's any way to talk about people higher up the hierarchy..."

"I just can't stand the obsession with number-crunching over spreading the word." He adjusts his posture. "I love money and attendance as much as anyone else does, but there won't be any numbers if I can't keep people here in the first place. Anyhow, you're here late. You do realise your sermon isn't until tomorrow morning?"

"I won't be able to make it tomorrow. I apologise for the short notice, but I'll need to be with my brother. Something terrible has happened, and, well...I'll have to be there for him."

I do tire of having been the supportive sister for so many years. His lack of control shouldn't be my problem. It feels like I've done nothing but babysit my brother's wild emotions since we were children, but the news has hit me just as badly as it's hit him. We could both do with some time to reflect on it.

"I understand, Shepherdess Clementia. We can always do your sermon sometime in the week. I've been meaning to ask your brother to pay another visit, though the last one was...something of a disaster," he replies, looking down at the floor. "I don't mean to pry, but what has happened?"

"Mother Joyce has passed, Shepherd Julian."

Even he seems slightly hurt. He tells me that he and Mother Joyce constantly butted heads with one another, though Mother Joyce never turned down a visit with him. She'd put her foot down as much as possible, as many times as she had to. Though they never even came close to getting along, or even a mutual understanding, I know that he had a level of respect for her deep down.

I never did give myself the time to thank her properly for what she did for me. She'd let me rest in the Peteran refuge until I were well enough to walk, though the moment I saw my brother there, sitting on my bedside, I fled as quick as I could manage without even uttering a 'thank you' to the abbess. Nothing that happened back then could convince me of a kind and loving Watcher. That hasn't changed. The Watcher is a judge, not a hand to be held. The kindness and love was, very occasionally, in the people, and Mother Joyce had a good heart. If only my birth mother was so kind.I have as much reason to mourn Mother Joyce as Reynold does. She saved us both.

On top of that, if it weren't for Mother Joyce, then there would have been many more victims of the werewolf, no doubt. I'd heard recent stories of werewolf sightings, witchfinder killings,but I don't know how many are true. People will see any old dog, or even any old shadow and think it's a creature of 'myth'. I knew that Reynold had managed to control it for months, but with all that's been happening, I wouldn't be surprised if that control has started to slip. 

I would have a lot to confront, both with myself and my brother. I'd have to revisit a lot of horrific memories, and I'd have to avoid causing an argument, but perhaps this might be a time to try and reconcile...if it's at all possible. We'll both need all of the peace we can get with the news of Mother Joyce's death...

[hrk4]

What does your child want to do when he grows up?

Years ago, as a twenties-something kid, I offered parenting advice to my college senior Jo (older to me by a decade and already highly accomplished in her chosen field) and without batting an eyelid she said, "Hari, I too was an expert on parenting until I had my own child!"

I always recall her words when I am tempted to offer unsolicited advice to young parents. I refrain from giving advice to people but sometimes I find it difficult to remain silent when family members or close friends are taking the longer route—and I feel that I can offer immediate assistance that might make the journey easier for them. It could well be an aggrandized view of my perception but if it turns out to be helpful to them, what’s the harm?

I furtively enter the risky zone now. Offering counsel unasked. About parenting. Despite the fact that I have spent close to half my life living alone and have zero experience raising a child. Despite not being an expert in any field and offering a limited, South India-centric view. What I miss in erudition and experience I daresay are made good by my perspective, which is unattached and counterintuitive.

After having lain bare all these disclaimers before you, I shall proceed to share some ideas and opinions that some of you might find valuable.

It might help if you read this with an open mind.

—

When your son or daughter reaches high school, a pesky question raises its ugly head: What should my child study after twelfth? In other words, what kind of profession will he pursue after his education? Or more specifically, will he make loads of money pursuing the said profession?

If this question is asked early, it results in enrolling the child in intense tuition classes from Class 8 (typically in the sciences). And in most other cases, it is nearly impossible to avoid this question after the Class 10 board examination results are out.

If the Class 10 results are favourable, you gently coax your child into taking science (possibly Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, and Biology, so that options are open); if not, commerce—and worst case, the arts. Having taking science, if his Class 12 results are favourable (perhaps after his traversing a grisly array of tuition classes and mock tests), you sell the idea of taking engineering or medicine; if not, a BSc. in Physics, Mathematics, or the life sciences (invariably followed by an MSc. and a PhD. as well). Even in engineering and medicine, you have a hierarchy of choices that eventually leads to a master’s degree. And having taken commerce, if your child has done well in Class 12, the next step is a Bachelor of Commerce alongside preparing to become a Chartered Accountant. If your child takes arts and does well, he is expected to study law or at least a master’s in psychology or English. The Indian antidote to an “unimpressive” bachelor's degree is a Master's in Business Administration (MBA). In most cases, it is deemed useful to have an MBA as a backup. Compounded with these calculations is the question: Which college is best suited for the purpose? In India or abroad—and if the latter, US or Europe?

What, pray, is the grand outcome of all these machinations?

A well-paying job that eventually leads to a well-endowed spouse.

When parents say that there is “scope” in a certain field, what they mean is that their child will get better salaries, which seems to directly translate into finding the right partner for marriage.

Now, I have a few questions for you:

Are these calculations and machinations effective?

Will this approach ensure that children land up with high-paying jobs and good partners?

Will this approach work over the years? And across generations?

Are the children able to manage expectations well?

And more importantly, are they happy with their lives?

If you answer “Yes” to most of these questions, the “go with the flow” approach has indeed led to the ultimate objective and it is unlikely that the rest of this piece will strike a chord with you.

If you answer “No” to most of these questions, then you might agree with me that there is a more rational approach to this question than the arbitrary one people typically follow.

To arrive at that, we must look at life as a whole.

—

What are the parameters that determine a good quality life?

These are so widely known that it might appear silly to enumerate them. At the risk of reiterating the obvious, I shall list out ten things that are essential for human life. It may be easier to think of them in pairs: Health and Wealth, Work and Leisure, Nature and Culture, Ethics and Altruism, People and Self.

Under each of these parameters, I’ve listed a few questions that you probably ask yourself already—or will do well to ask yourself at some point:

Health: How is my physical and mental wellness? What am I doing to ensure that I am healthy—walking, yoga, exercise, sports? Do I have strong immunity? How is my emotional resilience? Can I walk a mile or climb a flight of stairs without panting? How often do I fall sick, and with what ailment? Have I been able to find a solution to typically recurring maladies?

Wealth: How is my financial stability? Do I have sufficient liquid funds? What about assets, investments? How is my risk appetite? Have I made provisions for emergencies? Do I have health insurance? Do I have a well-designed financial plan? How many months can I survive if I lose my job?

Work: Have I attained expertise in some field? Am I able to add value to people’s lives and thereby generate revenue from the marketplace? Do I have the basic work ethic of hard work, focus, adaptability, clarity of thought, market awareness, innovation, etc.? Am I constantly upgrading my knowledge in my chosen domains?

Leisure: Do I spend moments of recreation either with a hobby (arts and crafts, gardening, swimming, reading, socialising, etc.) or with pets or nature? Do I have sufficient time away from the screen?

Nature: Am I eco-friendly? Do I spend some time with nature? Do I think about the environment before taking minor or major decisions?

Culture: Do I have a strong cultural identity? Do I practice a certain faith? Do I wear the clothes, speak the language, and eat the food that is part of my culture? What about music, dance, ritual, celebration, etc.? Do I know most of the cultural practices and customs of my particular community?

Ethics: Am I aware of the laws of the land? Do I have a moral compass? Do I have the basic traits of integrity, compassion, purity, self-control, and freedom from anger, violence, jealousy, greed, etc.? Am I fulfilling all my duties – at the level of self, family, workplace, and society?

Altruism: Am I helping people in need? Do I give money to charities? Do I spend time with people to mentor them?

People: Do I have a good family life? Have I built deep emotional connections with my immediate family members and close friends? Have I inculcated good values in my children? Do I have a strong social network of relatives, friends, colleagues, and associates?

Self: Am I clear about my expectations (from work, from family, from friends, etc.)? Do I have a good estimate of my abilities and opportunities? Do I have a well-designed plan for self-improvement? Where do I see myself in the next three, five, seven years?

You can add to this list, or perhaps even prune it—but I think you will mostly agree that collective human wisdom has more-or-less shown us that these details are important if we want to lead a good quality life.

Given that life comprises so many factors, do you think it is wise to emphasise marks–money–marriage at the cost of everything else?

—

Let’s go back to our initial question: What should my child study after twelfth? An oft-ignored parameter in providing an answer to this question is: What is my child’s svadharma?

For those of you who have not heard this Sanskrit word, sva-dharma means “that which is aligned to one’s temperament” or, in this case, “a profession or activity that is best suited to a person’s innate abilities, interests, and training.”

Svadharma is a function of the individual—and not of money, potential spouse, fame, or any other external factor. The opposite of sva-dharma is para-dharma, which is, in this context, “a profession or activity that is not compatible with one’s abilities, interests, and training.”

Often, paradharma is quite alluring to pursue and that is the reason Krishna warns Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita—not once but twice—that it is best to follow svadharma. In fact, pursuing paradharma can be dangerous because it takes into considerations factors other than the individual (glamour, money, fame, etc.)

When the question “What is my child’s svadharma?” is posed to you, these are some answers you might give:

I myself don’t know what my svadharma is; how the hell am I going to guide my children?

My daughter has no idea what she wants to do. She will do what her BFF likes to do.

It’s easier said than done; how in the world should I find out what my son will be interested in for the rest of his life?

My children know what they want to pursue but they have no talent.

My son excels at a skill that is socially “not so cool” but will generate decent wealth; will he ever find a girl to marry?

My daughter is clear what she likes but she can’t earn a penny doing that; how will she survive?

Obviously a short essay cannot solve all problems of growing children but I can present some general findings of great thinkers that might be relevant to you. But before that, let me share my personal experience of trying to find my svadharma and how my parents facilitated the process.

—

As a seven-year-old child, when my father’s friend Ganesh Pai asked me what I wanted to be, I wrote “Magician” on the piece of paper he gave me. Clearly I was influenced by him at that time because he was a performing magician and I was impressed with magic tricks.

I joined Sishu Griha in Class 2 and all through my school-days, teachers were excellent to the extent that there was no subject that I was averse to—just subjects that I was drawn more to than others. More often than nought, I was pulled up for my fanatic interest in certain subjects rather than bad performance.

During my middle school years, I was obsessed with studying about the human body—the components of blood, heart hormones, functioning of the brain, the incredible power of the liver, and so forth. And coupled with my infatuation with Sherlock Holmes, I thought Forensic Medicine would be the perfect field for me. During my high school years, I began going to my aunt Geethamani for Mathematics lessons and since she was an excellent teacher, I began taking a deep interest in Math and Physics. By the time I reached Class 10, I was star-struck with astrophysics. This mania continued through my pre-university days. I would go to the J N Planetarium in Bangalore to attend classes, I frequented the Indian Institute of Science and Raman Research Institute to listen to special lectures, wrote e-mails to astrophysicists in the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (and even got a response!), gave a presentation in the St. Joseph’s College Physics Club about Gamma Ray Bursts, and used all my internet allowance looking at images from outer space instead of drooling after supermodels in bikinis.

After I finished Class 12, I wanted to take a year off. While my mother was sceptical about it, my father actually welcomed the idea. I told them that I want to take the time off to explore subjects that I had been dabbling with – philosophy, languages, music, graphology, literature, public speaking, photography.

During my sabbatical year, I enrolled for IIT-JEE coaching (mostly as a subterfuge but I learnt a lot during my time at BASE), met scientists and engineers to discuss about my future plans (who unanimously suggested that I take up engineering if I was really interested in science), spoke to some of my relatives about it (who largely suggested either computer science or mechanical engineering), and basically gathered data about what would be the next course of action for me. My parents initiated some of these interactions and in other cases, it was my own interest.

Finally, I decided, for better or for worse, I would pursue mechanical engineering. Engineering meant that my classmates would be a better bunch than if I did a BSc. in Math or Physics; mechanical engineering because I liked drawing and machines (plus I was accounting for the slump in the software world as a result of 9/11).

I liked a few subjects like Engineering Mathematics, Machine Drawing, and Organisational Behaviour but in general, I got bored of engineering after two years. But having taken up the course, I completed my degree in the stipulated four years. When I realised that mechanical engineering was not my cup of tea, I took a job as a software programmer with Infosys because I learnt that they taught coding from the basics—and at their cost. After getting trained in the basics of programming followed by a specialisation in Java over a four-month period in their remarkable Mysore facility, in less than three months I got bored of working as a coder. But I had signed a bond that I would work for a year, so I stayed on till December.

In the years that followed, I must have dabbled in no less than five different professions—and even then it wasn’t easy to pin-point what I really liked to do for the rest of my life.

What I did realise at some point was that my reaction to things were often in binary. There were things I was obsessed with that gave me great joy and there were things that I got bored doing that I couldn’t sustain even if it was irresistibly lucrative. I liked to be free, read a lot, play the violin, and spend my time with smart people—it mattered little how much I earned, what others thought about me, if I would get recognition, or impress a girl.

In the quest after my svadharma, I seem to have been creative (sometimes unwittingly) and the reason I attribute to this creativity is that I was not afraid of taking a chance, going wrong, experimenting multiple times. Clearly, we can’t come up with anything original if we are not ready to make mistakes (See Ken Robinson’s book).

While this goes to show that one’s svadharma need not necessarily be physics or law, armed forces or music, most parents would like to know what exactly their child wants to pursue—and if that choice is a prudent one.

—

Professional life requires certain basic life skills that include hard work, focus, resilience, meticulousness, networking, problem-solving, decision-making, and so forth. Irrespective of the profession, these fundamental skills are necessary. Either the parents or the teachers or a third party “life coach” can teach these skills. Without this, knowing your svadharma doesn’t amount to much.

It is only over and above these basics does the awareness of svadharma matter. While there is no easy way to identify svadharma, there are a few things that you can easily do.

During the summer vacations after Class 8 (an optimal age, when he will be 13 or 14), give the following brief to your child:

A. Introspection – Stage 1 Take a sheet of paper, write the date, take an hour off, and answer these questions: What activities in the last week, last month, and last year did I really enjoy the most? In those activities, was I particularly good at something? What are the things I am able to do easily that people around me find difficult?

[Note to parent: Feel free to add/subtract questions that you find relevant. Also, if you can rope in one or two more children (no more than four)—your sibling’s children or your child’s classmates—to do this as a joint project, it might be more exciting for them.]

B. Aptitude Test There are several aptitude tests and strength-finder quizzes available online and offline. I will identify a few for you. Try them out over the next week.

[Note to parent: Go online and pick a few aptitude tests. Don’t hesitate to pay a small sum for it. In addition, you may also consult a career coach at some point.]

C. Discussions with Professionals Have you identified a few areas of interest and ability? I will introduce you to a few of my friends who work in these areas. They are professionals who are successful in their job and have a passion for it. I will take you to meet them but I will not speak. You have a free-wheeling conversation with them about their job. Also ask a few specific questions: Why do you love your job? What does your typical day look like? How is life for a fresher vs. life after a decade of work? What are the high-points and low-points of your job? What would you do if you were not in this profession? How would you adapt if AI were to take over your job? After every discussion, write down three or four things that stood out from the discussion.

[Note to parents: Needless to say, you must identify the right people. Never mind if it is not a direct contact—if need be, pull your friends’ contacts or request your father-in-law. Also, feel free to tweak the questions. Here again, it might be more efficient if two or three children went together to meet with the professional and then later discussed amongst themselves about the interaction.]

D. Introspection – Stage 2 In the last two weeks, you have spoken to five professionals and written down some things that stood out. Now, take a sheet of paper, write the date, and answer the same questions you first answered. Are there any differences in your responses?

[Note to parents: Scrutinise the two introspection pages. Can you see a difference? Think about what are the next steps that will help your child think about this by himself. This exercise should ultimately lead to your child taking responsibility for his choices.]

—

We all have some innate abilities and interests. If we build a certain kind of intelligence that is aligned to our innate abilities and interests, that will translate into expertise through training; this will make us valuable in the workplace.

Intelligence is not static but is constantly developing (See Geoff Colvin’s book). Intelligence is of different kinds: logical/analytical, verbal/linguistic, spatial, body-kinaesthetic, musical, inter-personal, intra-personal, and naturalistic. (See Howard Gardner’s book). Once you help your child identify the type of intelligence he has and wishes to develop, find a mentor/guru who can help your child.

As your child develops his specific intelligence, he should also be on the lookout for the different professions where his skills can be used. This increases the possibilities of finding a good job – one that pays well, helps him improve as a professional, consists of good co-workers, is not too far from home, puts him in a state of flow (See Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book), etc.

If your child has multiple interests, help him hone different types of intelligence such that the possibility of his finding a good job increases. He might also end up starting an enterprise with his friends. Or at least he will have a solid hobby that makes his leisure much more active (e.g. painting, cycling, singing) rather than passive (e.g. watching a film, eating, going for a drink).

Is there any guarantee that all this will work? No, but at any rate I think this is a more rational way to approach the problem than the “go with the flow” one. Having a plan is better than having no plan. Having a well-thought-out plan is better than having just a plan.

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” —John Lennon

—

Reading List for the Parents

These books are in no way meant to be authoritative texts on the subjects nor are they exhaustive in any way. I just made a quick list of books that I have gone through over the years that I found useful (and also sneaked in a few books that I have worked on!) You can peruse through the ones that tickle your interest.

Health Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles

Wealth The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by Morgan Housel

Work Talent is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else by Geoff Colvin Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons in Theory and Practice by Howard Gardner Flow: The Psychology of Happiness by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Leisure Shallows: How the Internet is Changing the Way We Think, Read and Remember by Nicholas Carr Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Nature Walden by Henry David Thoreau

Culture Indian Culture by S Srikanta Sastri translated by S Naganath A Concise Encyclopaedia of Hinduism (3 volumes) by Swami Harshananda

Ethics Your Dharma and Mine by Shatavadhani R Ganesh translated by Hari Ravikumar The New Bhagavad-Gita translated by Koti Sreekrishna and Hari Ravikumar

Altruism Altruism: The Science and Psychology of Kindness by Matthieu Ricard

People Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom Shiva Rama Krishna by Shatavadhani R Ganesh, adapted into English by Hari Ravikumar

Self Man's Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frankl Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life by Sir Ken Robinson with Lou Aronica The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow

—

Acknowledgements: This essay is a result of an intense discussion I had with my friends Somashekhara Sharma and Srishan Thirumalai a few days back. Thanks to them for their observations and inputs, particularly Soma who went through multiple drafts of this essay and gave me great suggestions. When I shared this piece with my parents—Dr. M V Ravikumar and Prof. Hema Ravikumar—they wrote back saying something to the effect of “Good to know that we raised you boys the right way.” Much of what I have written are drawn from my observation of how my parents raised my brother and me.