#sometimes. sometimes hes not a bot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

therobotsarestuckinmyhead · 22 days ago

Note

Can you do a platonic Optimus x cybertronian reader, who is an Autobot and Megatron's sparkling? Like reader used to support their father in the beginning, but when Megatron got off the roads and became the tyrannical warlord, reader decided to leave and become an Autobot. Despite having supported Autobots from the start and having Optimus's full trust, because of reader's relation to Megatron, reader had received a lot of mistrust in the Autobot ranks. This sometimes causes reader to feel alone and down. On Earth things are a bit better, but maybe one night reader feels down and misses the old days, and Optimus is there to comfort them?

☆ "NO PLACE FOR ME IS HOME" — [TFP] Optimus Prime

oh anon, you just want to make me shed tears and IM HERE FOR IT. this is going to be so tragic.

scenario: you consider yourself Megatron's… protegé but that's all that you wish you were to Megatron but at least you have Prime comfort you

warning: angst and pain, fatherly issues

You hate it. You hate it so much when the memories of who he once was floods back into your helm— It happens every single time the two of you make optic contact, Megatron is quick to look away first. He never acknowledges you in a confrontation, ever. The warlord tsks and walks away quietly, it's uncharacteristic of him but… you'd really rather not talk to him either. Your spark aches when you think of what's become of him. You can see the bitterness in his optics when you're in his peripheral, it's not the typical rage and hate. No. It's...

Sadness.

He misses you too. Maybe. You're not so sure. He isn't like how you used to know him.

With your knees tucked to your chassis, servos holding them tight against you, you sit at the top of the base. The somber night sky somehow makes this all the more nostalgic as you think of times when things were different..

The day you first met him.

The day your life changed.

“Uh… hi!!!”

The gladiator had just been done with another match, the precipitation and energon stains fresh on his frame— He will need to get to his sad excuse of a living quarters to clean himself properly. But he stops right in his tracks as the voice catches his attention, another fan? Megatronus prepares himself. He looks around, he doesn't see anyone and his optical ridges furrow in confusion. Was he hearing things? What's happening? The voice was somewhat high pitched and squeaky. Meanwhile, his new, tiny little fan was waiting there for their idol to see them.

“..here! Down here!”

That catches his attention and his optics immediately dart down. He sees you, a little bot, azure optics so bright that Megatronus might be able to use you as a lantern. Though, he is surprised to see a sparkling here, especially during this hour at Kaon of all cities.

“What are you doing here, little one?” He asks with concern, stooping down to your level as he observes you in curiosity. Megatronus’ warm blue optics meet yours and the little you couldnt help but feel slightly intimidated.

“Uhm.. I was here to just tell you that… that I really liked your match today.”

Your words make his derma curve up into a soft smile, such genuine sincerity he found so endearing but then it struck him. What in the name of Primus was a sparkling doing watching Gladiatorial Combat? You're supposed to be at the nursery! Learning how to… judging by your alt mode, mine by some soulless teacher before being thrown into this pit of misery.

“Are you not a little too young to watch such violence, little one? Where are your caretakers?” He asks, lowering himself better to look at you optic-to-optic, his faceplates turned into a mix of curiosity, concern and care.

“More importantly, what are you doing in the mining sector?” The gladiator tilts his helm in intrigue.

His question clearly catches you off-guard and you look at him surprised. As if there was something he didn't know happening.

“Eh… you- you don't know?” You ask, not really sure how to spill it to him. Since he was rather popular, you thought he would know the new mining policy changes.

“Know what?” He raises an optical ridge in curiosity, he keeps the aggression in his tone to a minimum even if he was getting impatient, continuing to squat down to your level in order to converse with you. Clearly, the gladiator isn't used to talking to sparklings.

“Well,” You think for a moment on how to explain this, trying to recall the explanation that supervisor bot told you. “The Senate said that they're low on energon so they said that they're going to take us out of nurseries much earlier!”

You have a smile on your face as you say this and Megatronus’ azure optics widen in shock. “Tomorrow is my first day! I hope it goes well.

The blind, innocent naivety in your big blue optics and precious little smile makes his spark ache— you have no idea what's coming for you. At all. Your smile drops a bit when you see the disgust, anger and shock in his optics. How could they be so cruel? To condemn such helpless little things to the Pits before they even know what the world around them is like. This wasn't even cruel, it was evil, vile. And the worst part is, your young little processor can't seem to realize that. Megatronus is speechless as he rises up, continuing to look down at you in… sympathy? Pity? There's a sadness in his EM field.

“Is… Is everything okay?” You're craning your little help up to look at him, you need to take a step back to see his face and he has the most sympathetic look one could ever muster up for a newly-built in your situation.

“No, no. It's… it's fine.” He snaps out of his train of thought with a sharp ex-vent, looking back at your tiny little frame. And he comes to a daunting conclusion.

There's no way you'll make it in the mines.

Now, Megatronus isn't particularly a kind mech. Not really. He'll help so long as it doesn't inconvenience him in any way. But this? He wasn't a monster. He wasn't evil. He wasn't going to leave a helpless little sparkling in the middle of Kaon (of all places), Cybertron's infamous crime capital. Who knows who else you'll run into? The gladiatorial sponsors? Criminal T-Cog harvesters? Smugglers? Slavers?

“You know, little ones like you will need someone to escort you back to your living space.” Megatronus offers, looking down at you. He remembers when he was sent to the mines, albeit much older than you are now. The idea that you, someone so young will have to endure what he went through at such a fragile age hurts his spark inexplicably.

“Whats a living space?” Megatronus pauses, he looks baffled. Leaning down to face you once more.

“...you don't have a designated living space?”

“No. They just dropped us off here and left.”

He knew The Senate was vile but this— this was ridiculous even for them. The anger bubbling in him is near a boiling point upon hearing your story. One day, little ones like you will get their justice.

Megatronus would assure that.

“Fine. Would you… Like to stay with me in the meanwhile?”

The beaming on your face, the wide smile. It was far too precious to be here, in Kaon. It melts his spark in a way nothing has.

But what the two of you didn't know was that it would become permanent. Your time with Megatronus is something you constantly cherish, you look back at it with bittersweet nostalgia. The fondness of… What was that word Miko used for her masculine parent? Ah, yes. Father. Megatronus was like your own ‘father’ in every sense of the word.

You look back fondly at every single moment you had with Megatronus, no matter how you used to feel about it when those events were the present— how he comforted you after nearly getting terminated in your first cave-in, the way he used a majority of his earnings from gladiatorial combat to pay a medic to repair you, the way he would teach you about literature and poetry… and most importantly, how to defend yourself.

You remember how long you had begged him to teach you how to be a gladiator, so you too, could be a star at the face of a crowd. Just like he was. He taught you the combat part, every fighting style he knew but forbade you from ever entering the arena. You were definitely displeased about that for a long time. You were so young and reckless, he constantly spoke of how he saw himself in you but that only made you feel proud of yourself.

You'd always put Megatronus on a pedestal looking back at it. He was the one that showed you what it meant to be alive, that your life was more than your alt. mode and what the Senate dictates for you— He taught you the idea of his revolution, ingrained it into your processor. But he never let you attend any of the rallies or protests, he didn't want you to get tangled with the brutal law enforcers of Kaon.

Then, the day that ruined it all.

That day, The Senate hearing— Orion Pax, an archivist was given the honor, the title of Prime and the Matrix of Leadership with it. You'd known Orion Pax as a friend of Megatronus’, a polite and timid mech. He'd always speak to you fondly, considering Megatronus took you as his own. But that day, the Megatronus you knew was cracking. Was it envy? Pride? Ego? Arrogance? He believed it was him that was better suited, it ate up his helm and it morphed him into something you couldn't recognize.

You remember. The violence was something you were used to, being raised by a gladiator and often sneaking to see Megatronus’ fights despite his disapproval when you were but a sparkling. However, this was a different sort of violence— Senseless. At first you'd agreed. Only because he, the newly named Megatron, seemed to see violence as the only resort to uproot the current system. And you agreed, and so you served.

Your association with the Decepticons was short lived but that was enough to see his spiral, you couldn't do anything but helplessly watch the mech that taught you about the world begin to tear it down himself. It started off with targeting senators and snowballed into mercilessly killing anyone that disagreed.

“Those who are not with us are against us.” You remember him snarling out before giving the order to shoot down neutral ships after you tried your hardest to dissuade him. Senseless killing. It's what made you realize that the warm concern of Megatronus had been erased by the sweltering hate of Megatron.

And every time you look into his crimson optics, you're reminded of that.

After that whole Optimus losing his memories fiasco, it did nothing more than to serve as a bitter reminder of what all you lost, reopening old wounds painfully. You don't regret joining the Autobots, Optimus made it sure you were welcome— As kind and gentle as always, although no longer the timid Orion. At least some things stay the same.

You continue to stare out into the sky with a blank face, failing to take note of the approaching and concerned Prime. You've been coming up here a lot more often ever since Megatron came to Earth, Optimus has decided it's time to have a chat with you.

The fact that you haven't recognized his presence tells him you're deep in thought, usually the sounds of his pede-steps is enough for you to turn to look at him with a ghost of a smile. You were an… aggressive Autobot to say the least but Optimus never blames you, you were only ever surrounded by violence when growing— The important part is that you try your best to reject it from taking over you, trying to be better than all you've seen.

It isn't until you hear the shifting noises of Optimus taking a seat next to you that you realize he's here, and realize that your optics are glossy with coolant. Your optics shutter with a sharp ex-vent, a quick effort to get the excess coolant away before turning to face him. But before you could really ask him, he started to speak.

“Earth is beautiful.” He says as his optics take in the sight of the night sky. The town of Jasper is still kilometers away, the stars illuminating the sky— Another bittersweet memory of how Megatronus used to teach you about Cybertron’s stars and moons while laying down on your backs at the open airs of Lithium Flats.

“It is.” Your admission is uncharacterically soft. It makes Optimus smile slightly.

“You've been spending a lot of time up here recently, [name

].” His voice is soothing, concerned. While he sounds nothing like Megatronus, the concern from Optimus is just as warm and inviting.

“...I like star gazing.” Your tone goes quiet, optics averted from his for a moment. But it's enough for Optimus to know that there's more than meets the eye. But for now, he won't prod.

“I understand. Unfortunately I am not very familiar with the stars of this system but they look, as the humans would say ‘breath taking’.” Optimus replies as he looks back into the sky, the two of you sitting there in a somber silence— an understanding silence. You gently lean your helm against his shoulder plating with a sigh, pressing your knees further against your chassis. He says nothing but knows what to do, his servo gently pats your pauldron, providing you more support as you lean against his shoulder.

“...I miss him. Primus, I miss him.”

Your vocalizer breaks slightly, Optimus takes a deep in-vent and sighs.

“As do I, [name

]. As do I.” His tone sounds tired and he is, this war has been chipping away at their sparks and Megatron grows more deranged as the conflict prolongs. But he will not openly display his exhaustion, Optimus had to keep up a strong front.

He sees his old friend, Megatronus within you. Your personality is a spitting image— aggressive but not cruel; kind and empathetic, intolerant to the injustices faced by others and yourself. Optimus looks at you, continuing to provide you comfort, one he can tell you desperately need.

“We have tried, tried our best to bring him back. But,” The Prime speaks almost like it hurts him to say this to you, a gentle night breeze against both your frames. It's chilly, an enjoyable atmosphere if it weren't for the heaviness of the subject.

“He is far gone. Far past saving.”

You know that.

You know that very well.

“I know that but.. that,” The words are stuck in your vocalizer, unable to get them out. “...doesn't mean I like it.”

Optimus knows you're an Autobot and this is proof of it. Autobots value lives, even if it is someone as deranged as Megatron. This doesn't make you any sort of traitor to their faction, even if the others have their doubts when you speak of the young Megatronus with so much reverence or how you call out Ratchet when he gives a biased explanation of the war. But, what concerns Optimus is how you cling onto the ghost of who Megatron once was.

And he fears Megatron may stoop as low as to use it against you.

Optimus continues to understand you and provide you with his warm embrace, the gentleness of his tone never changing.

“I cannot guarantee that it will be better,” He says, almost quietly. “But I want you to remember that your Autobots are always here with you.” The mention of the others makes a small tension in your frame, he can feel the hesitance from your EM field. It makes him look at you curiously.

“They.. don't really think of me as one of them.” You admit what's been on your processor for years. You've always felt like a by-stander, someone they brought in to help. Almost as if you were hired but without any real payment. You cannot connect with them, they weren't raised like you nor do they have any fond experiences with anything associated with the name Megatron.

“Maybe.. I just don't feel like one of them.”

You say, it might be your misinterpretation. Who knows? But it's been like this since you've joined the faction. Optimus looks at you curiously, he's intrigued to understand how your processor works, to see what makes you think this way.

“To me, you are an Autobot.”

“Of course I am to you, Prime but that… isn't quite the same.” You smile a bit at Optimus’ attempt to soothe you as he just blinks.

“You’ve known me since I was about this big.” You raise your servo from your knee and lower it down to show how tall you were as a sparkling. Optimus hums, you had a point there.

Optimus always saw hope in you. You might've been working for Megatron but you were raised by Megatronus. Every single encounter, Prime always tried his best to persuade you into seeing the evil of Megatron’s ways. He knows it would take time, Megatronus was your everything— caretaker, mentor, teacher— father.

But that was Megatronus, not Megatron.

“You were able to reform, redeem yourself. You were able to see that freedom is the right of all sentient beings despite being surrounded by those who think otherwise your entire life.” Optimus says with a serious tone, as if he needs you to understand just how important what you did was— You were proof that Decepticons could be redeemed, that they were not all lost.

You gave Optimus hope.

So to see you so hopeless was unacceptable.

“Yes but that.. that doesn't change what I've done and what I… lost.” Your voice is even quieter than before, as if you're afraid to say it out loud. Remembering what you've done under Megatron, how you helped him. A complicit part of the Decepticon uprising and movement in the early days, you helped propel the movement to please your spiraling father, only to hope it would make him feel somewhat better.

Your love was what blinded you.

But that's not how Prime sees it.

He looks at you confused and curious. Blue optics fixated onto your face as he captures how you seem to sulk with gloom. Optimus doesn't understand why you would think that, you were young and under Megatron’s care— helpless to Megatron’s whims. You would've done what you did one way or another.

“But you are another victim of Megatron.”

You couldn't keep it together anymore when he says what you've been trying to deny, trying to make it seem like it wasn't for so, so very long. You let out quiet sobs as you lean against his servo even harder, your own servos clinging onto it as coolant tears trickle down your faceplates.

Optimus doesn't intervene. The Prime knows you need this, he gently pats your shoulder plating as he allows you to cling onto him like a lifeline, pouring your sorrows and coolant tears onto his plating. He will let you take your sorrows out, he won't say a word unless you need him to.

Optimus had you now. Megatronus was long gone but in his place, you now had Optimus.

Even if it wasn't the same.

bonus:

how you feel when you see Megatron and Optimus fight