#sorry for the long winded ramblings but i love these two and wanna develop them in thr au

[sharkmobster]

more funtime found family au stuff but this time focusing on funtime freddy and michael's relationship. it's incredibly rambly and turns into off-kilter dialogue but i gotta get this off my chest.

tw mentioned child abuse/death

• doesn't actually like michael (at first) even tho i draw them hanging around each other a lot

• bon bon is the only reason he does loaf around him. (bon bon and bonnet being the only ones who like Michael in the beginning.) They're attached to each other so it's inevitable that they would hang around mikey.

• ft freddy plays really mean spirited jokes on michael bc he's not allowed to harm him. he has to get real creative. (ft freddy has a lot of anger inside of him. people write him off as being dumb and goofy but really that's just a mask that he put up so he didn't scare people away. of course the funtimes know how he is, knows who he is right to his core bc they're all connected on a deeper/technological level.)

• (slaps funtime freddy. this bear can fit so much trauma and abandonment issues in him!)

• can be incredibly vindictive when he wants to be and takes out a lot of his agression on Michael. michael shares the afton name (bc he sure as hell doesn't look like william in my au lol) and that alone is enough for ft freddy to bully him.

• (the funtimes blame william for abandoning them so ft freddy takes it especially personal when his ankle biter comes around to "liberate" them. and on some deeper level freddy is just terrified that michael will abandon them all, just like willy did. he never voices this of course. opting to show his apprehension and fear in a more destructive way, pushing Michael further away.)

• canon ft freddy: sinister but still goofy and knows how to have a good time

my ft freddy: goofy and repressed anger issues, doesn't know how to enjoy himself without causing someone some kinda pain.

• michael gets fed up with being terrorized eventually and confronts him, and ft freddy drops the silly act for a bit just ready to blow up at him. (he can't even place why he's still so angry at michael when really he's been nothing but hospitable and accomodating to their wants and needs but fuck he's just so wound up he doesn't know what to do) michael compares him to william during the argument (cruel and vindictive just like william wanted) and ft freddy nearly rings his neck, absolutely seething but bon bon doesnt let that happen of course. (idk if this is confirmed canon but bon bon was designed to placate freddy. he raises his voice even slightly and bon bon's petting his face, stopping him from getting even more agressive)

• ft freddy shuts down after the confrontation ends (emotionally, anyway) and the blow out itself is completely anti climatic, nobody getting hurt. he ends up isolating himself from the others with bon bon hovering around like a concerned mother hen. Baby and the others give him space but michael (after he cools down anyways) won't leave him alone.

• See the thing is: Michael understands. Michael understands more than anyone what it's like to feel so deeply, what it's like to hate and hate and to keep hating until that rage is your whole life. It's suffocating. and he had to deal with that all on his own, choking on his own grief and rage without anyone to guide him. (his brother is dead bc of him and he carries that with him everywhere he goes, in everything he does.)

• They're living in the countryside of France at this point in time, far off from any wandering eyes, a thick forest surrounding their home. Freddy has a few hiding spots that he scouted out within the first few days of staying there. And that's where Michael finds him, hiding out in a small alcove by the a creek, throwing rocks at the trees (and sometimes wildlife).

• freddy doesn't aknowledge him, ignoring him like a child would and bon bon frets nervously between them, not wanting another fight to break out. Michael tells them that he's not here to fight anymore, he just wants to talk. you like to talk, don't you? and freddy doesn't say anything, running his fingers through the dirt, absentmindedly.

• michael asks bon bon to leave so that they can have a private convo and bon bon freaks out like absolutely not, he might hurt you and michael asks freddy directly like "are you going to hurt me?" freddy still isn't talkative, and he's rigid when he shakes his head no after a bit of silence. Bon Bon asks if he's alright with him leaving and freddy just shrugs, still staring at nothing in the distance. bon bon hesitates for a few moments before finally leaving, telling Michael to call out to him if he's in danger but michael rushes him along.

• it's just them now, nothing but the sounds of nature around them. michael asks how he's feeling and freddy shrugs again. Michael strikes up a one sided conversation, stepping closer and closer to him over time not really getting any kinda response out of him but eventually, during his rambling, freddy finally looks at him and says "Y-You just don't get-get it." and then goes back to the silent treatment.

• Michael's quiet, having made his way up to standing right next to freddy (he's only a tiny bit taller than him when he's just sitting like that). he nods his head, considering something for a while until finally he goes "Did I ever tell you about what it was like? Ya know. Being William Afton's golden child?" freddy doesn't say anything but he pauses from drawing circles in the dirt, tilts his head just a fraction to let mikey know he's listening.

• michael stares at the creek. "He wasn't the most outwardly loving father. Wasn't really the nicest one, either. But, I wanted his approval so bad, I'd do anything for it." Freddy slowly turns his head to watch him carefully. that's got his attention. "I did a bunch of stupid shit back then, all cause I wanted to be noticed by him. But all that attention went to my little-" and michael draws in a sudden breath, pained. stays silent for a moment, working up the courage to speak. "I did something awful to my brother. All for my father. And it's an awful thing to say but his death didn't matter. Pops didnt bat an eye and Mom was too far gone by that point after Elizabeth...." he looks back in the direction of the cottage. "Well.... you know what happened to Elizabeth." Freddy's stare is hard and unyielding. "He's gone now and I was the only one who cared enough. His fuckin' abuser cared more for his passing than his own father did."

• "He threw me into the basement. Did you know that?" Michael bounces from one foot to another, anxiety written into his very bones. he's lost in his rambling now, having never spoken these words out loud to anyone. "I killed his son and he locked me away in the dark for three years." Freddy fully turns to give Michael his undivided attention, stock still, hanging off of his every word. "I got out. Eventually. I ran away and lived on the streets for years until someone got a hold of me. Told me my old man was missing, presumed dead. Got a pretty penny from the fazbear business he co-owned with Mr. Emily. Things were going good, I guess. I was overwhelmed for the most part, didn't do anything other than bounce around from hotels every few days. In some way, I felt like he was still out there, watching me. I just kept running. And then i found out about you." He glances at freddy and looks away quickly when he finds an unblinking visage staring back. "Found out about all of you. Locked away in a storage facility for over 30 years. In the dark. All alone." an incredibly long silence stretches out between them, freddy fidgeting, hyperaware of every noise going on around them.

• "You think I don't get it. But I do. I think I understand you more than anyone could." Michael's staring back at him, raw emotion across his face, eyes soft with empathy and that's what makes Freddy turn away from him. Suddenly uncomfortable. "I don't want to fight with you. Not you. Not Ballora, or Foxy, or Eli-" He visibly winces, but regains his composure. "...I just... need you to understand that I want to help."

• Freddy's never been so quiet, and it's such an odd sight. Michael's not sure if he should say anything else or if he should leave the bear alone. the bear speaks up, finally "W-We could've kill-killed you."

• "That was always a possibility, yeah. I woulda deserved it." Freddy's not sure if he likes the way Michael talks about himself sometimes. "I needed to get you guys out of there, though. That was more important than whatever could've happened to me." Michael huffs. "Besides, if I hadn't bailed you guys out then I would've never gone to Paris. Ballora has good taste in real estate, I think." and despite everything, freddy lets out a sudden breath that could've been mistaken for a sensible chuckle. Michael smiles anyway.

• Things settle down afterwards, though there's no bite to Freddy's jokes now. They're not as close as Michael wants, Freddy still keeping his distance, keeping his walls up but it's something.

• Freddy starts watching horror movies with him late into the night and until dawn. Doesn't let Michael sleep in afterwards and he might just regret this but it makes Freddy happy. Things go back to normal in the cottage, as normal as things can be for a motley troupe like them anyways. Michael starts laughing at his jokes more.

[firelxdykatara]

hello!! i just wanted to ask- i wanna do an ouat rewatch bc CAPTAIN SWANN but its pretty long and i honestly dont care for the other characters/how badly the overall writing was handled.. which are your favourite captain swan eps? anything them centered and i think ill just skip around to rewatch their romance as they did invent romance 😭😭 ty in advance <3

they absolutely did invent romance, you are right about that and i love them so much

UHMMMM as far as my favorite CS eps, here’s a roadmap of what I personally consider key eps in their journey (some of this is from memory but I haven’t done a full rewatch in a while so i’m going through the episode list as a refresher)

2x06: Tallahassee--this is a must-watch ep for any CS fan, and I really think this is the episode that sparked the fire that CS would become as a fandom. It has everything--flirtatious banter, all kinds of tension, deliberate parallels drawn between Emma and Killian’s pasts, as well as their first meeting being intercut with her relationship with Neal (which serves, especially in hindsight, to highlight just how sketchy that relationship was, and why she couldn’t bring herself to trust Killian--because the last time she felt this way about anyone, it ended horribly)

2x08 and 2x09: Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts--these episodes cover the race to the portal between Emma&co and Hook/Cora and while they don’t do a ton for CS as a relationship since they’re still enemies at this point, it lays great foundation for their future relationship development. Plus, sexy swordfight, Hook going out of his way to save Aurora’s heart--he may be a pirate, but he has standards ok--and Emma realizing Cora can’t remove her heart without her permission? Poetic Cinema

2x11: The Outsider--more of a Killian-centric episode, it shows a lot of Killian at his worst but it’s necessary for his overall character arc and I genuinely love looking back and seeing just how far he managed to come, to the point of eventually even letting go of his (very understandable) grudge against Rumplestiltskin.

2x12: In the Name of the Brother--am I including this purely for Emma&Hook banter in the hospital, and Killian saying ‘hey beautiful’ when he’s lying on the road because he just got hit by a fucking car? You bet I am. Also, go to youtube and look up ‘ouat season two deleted scene jello’, because it’s beautiful and there was a tremendous outcry in the fandom when we realized it had been cut from the episode lmao (It’s also the episode that made me start shipping Frankenwolf, which I’m still sad never went anywhere, but they had a lot of potential and great chemistry.)

2x22: And Straight On Till Morning--A few of the episodes in between have some fun minor interactions and flashbacks (and I always approve of episodes where Killian gets one up on Rumple, so 2x15 is fun for me if i ignore all the Neal bits) but the finale is where we finally get a glimpse of who Killian could be beyond his need for revenge. He didn’t have to come back, he didn’t have to bring back the bean and help the town--but he did.

Season 3a: there’s a lot of really good stuff here for Hook and Emma that is interwoven between the A plots of other episodes. I think, as far as half-season arcs go, it’s one of the best (and everything after 4a bombed hard, but I digress) But there are a few episodes that stand out if you don’t want to watch the whole season. (I recommend starting with the premier though, it was a really solid season starter overall.)

3x05: Good Form--this is the culmination of David’s poisoned-by-dreamshade arc, and is also Peak Captain Charming Bromance. Hook not only keeping David’s secret, but doing everything he can to help save him??? Poetic cinema. It also provides some crucial Killian backstory, showing how he lost his brother to the very same dreamshade. Plus, the character development--Pan offers Killian a chance to escape the island with Emma if he kills David, and instead, he saves him, refusing the deal and damn the consequences. Also also? The first CS kiss which drove the fandom WILD.

3X06: Ariel--not only to I love OUaT’s take on Ariel, but this episode has the infamous Echo Cave scene, which involves a lot of feelsy confessions and Killian being the one to tell everyone that Neal is alive and helping Emma save him despite his own growing feelings for her.....IT’S JUST A LOT AND I LOVE IT.

3x07: Dark Hallow--oh man, I’d forgotten about this episode, but it has Killian and Neal fighting over Emma, which may sound eye-roll worthy, but Emma is allowed to tear them a new one about it and it’s one of the few times she’s allowed to actually???? put her own feelings first so I have to include it here on spec

3x11 and 3x12: Going Home and New York City Serenade--these mark the end of 3a and start of 3b respectively, and it has some amazing shit like Killian vowing never to forget Emma and Emma smiling as she replies, “Good.” And then she and Henry are in New York with their memories completely altered, but Killian shows up because Storybrooke is back and in jeopardy, and he helps Emma get back to her family and her home and, much later, Emma finds out he sold the Jolly Roger to be able to do it and it’s just. It’s beautiful ok.

3x17: The Jolly Roger--there’s honestly not a whole lot in the back half of season 3 (until the CS movie) but of course anything named for Hook is a must-watch, and this is where we get the iconic line I swear on Emma Swan--which is Killian saying he’s in love with her before he even realizes it. We also find out just what he did to Ariel, and his attempts to make amends are what lead to Zelena being able to curse him, so it’s great from a character perspective as well.

The next four episodes round out the end of the season, and there’s a lot of great stuff in them--Hook refusing to get Emma to kiss him, but Emma feeling like she can’t trust him because he didn’t tell her about the curse to begin with, and then kissing him anyway to save his life regardless of the consequences.... but the only ones that are absolutely necessary are the final two episodes.

They are colloquially termed ‘The Captain Swan Movie’ for a reason, after all.

Killian and Emma essentially have an entire Time Travel adventure all to themselves, where they accidentally ruin her parents first meeting and have to fix it so that she’ll even be born, Emma finally getting into the storybook, the pair of them dancing at a ball, Killian rushing to save Emma only for her to get out of the cell herself, because “The only one who saves me is me.” Killian saying “I would go to the ends of the world for her... or time.” Finally fixing the timeline and making it back to Storybrooke and Killian feeling like he doesn’t deserve a place at the table so he doesn’t go inside, but Emma comes out to him anyway and finds out he gave up the Jolly Roger for her, the true start to their relationship...... IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I’M SORRY.

I personally really enjoyed 4a, the Frozen arc was one of the last good half-season arcs of the show, but a lot of people disliked it so it’s really up to interpretation. I don’t have as many Intense Opinions on this season (except hating almost everything about 4b and the queens of darkness arc), but I will say the episodes with good Killian/CS moments are 4x02 (Emma nearly freezes to death, Killian is desperate to save her, Captain Charming teamwork, my heart hurts), 4x04 (Emma asks Killian out on a real date, he tries to get his real hand back from Gold, things go massively awry and he winds up back under Gold’s thumb), 4x08 (Killian tries to save Emma from Gold’s plans), 4x11 (the 4a finale is just great in general), and then..... it cannot be overstated how much I hate season 4b, but 4x15 is the Killian-centric ep where his past with Ursula is revealed and he makes amends to her in order to get her to leave the QoD alliance and it’s great character stuff for him, and then there’s the season 4 finale.

Both parts are worth watching, if only because Deckhand Coward Hook still being a braver, more heroic man than ‘Hero Rumplestiltskin’ warms the very cockles of my heart, and of course the second part of the finale has him helping Henry to save Emma and it’s beautiful and also Emma watches him die for her and it is angsty as FUCK but gods I love it. Here’s where it gets tricky, though--my recommendation is, turn the episode off right after Emma finds Killian back in the present day of Storybrooke and they reunite.

Just turn off the episode there and skip right ahead to the s6 musical episode (Emma and Killian’s wedding ep) and pretend they got married and none of seasons 5 or 6 ever happened. >.> (Although I will say certain parts of the Underworld arc were incredibly feelsy despite how much I overall hated the season: 5x11 (the 5a finale, Killian as the dark one STILL being a better man than rumple, we love to see it), 5x15 (I am not immune to Brothers Jones feelings ok), 5x20 (emma literally takes a True Love Test trying to find a way to save killian, you don’t get more romantic than that--also Killian telling Emma to promise she won’t put her armor back up just because she lost him again??? my HEART), 5x21 (Hook does what he can from the Underworld anyway and zeus sends him back to Emma, they really just said ‘today I will invent romance’ and then Did That)

And then, yeah, just skip to the wedding. It’s beautiful, I enjoyed the music, personally, though I know musical episodes are hit or miss with most people. And if you turn it off when the last musical number starts (after the wedding ceremony, I believe) you can pretend it was the end of the show! =DDD

.....Oh my god I just rambled for years. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS USEFUL, ANON. I 100% support a CS-centered rewatch, their episodes were consistently some of the best across the entire series, and they are truly one of my favorite romances of all time.

[snickiebear]

Hi bby! 1, 2, 3, 6, 16, 27, 29, 33, 35! 🖤

mittens!!! loml!!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

oh goodness... um, i’d say a 4?? yeah, that sounds about right, only because i often make so many tense mistakes and even when i edit there’s always something to fix. and just,,, im still learning a lot (aren’t we all). plus, sometimes the stuff i put out needs so much more work (see: my recent shisaku fic... i want to tear it up and put it back together.. ugh.. also wt&r, just everything)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

OH GOODIE! i just... well, i wrote a lot when i was twelve-fourteenish, then kind of on and off through the years. never really had anything to ground me and get me to take writing seriously. and then i found naruto and sakura who has so much unused potential and it just made me so angry to see her treated that way. 

point being, the naruto fandom (more specifically the sakura fandom) rooted me down and allowed me be able to grow as a writer even though i’ve only been posting since january my writing style has changed so much, and i can physically feel myself becoming a better writer. 

plus, i just love it. the thrill of being able to use these characters and pairings and do what i want with them?? i drink it up, i love it!!! its so freeing and such a great way to really dig deep within writing itself. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i think its just the way i word things, you and a lot of others call it poetry but meh i just call it fancy words or word vomit from my brain AHAHHAHA

also, my thing is God Killers, God Eaters, and Angry Wrathful Women at this point, so maybe thats another thing?

but honestly,,, i have no clue... you’d have to ask my lovely readers, im so thankful for them 😭

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

plot probably. this changes often though. usually when i have an idea, the rest comes to mind and i jot it down and come back and change things and stuff, so thats usually pretty easy tbh... at least for now LMAO

and inner dialogue, inner struggles, showing the entire internal thing. its fun writing that angsty part of a story, the small insights into a character’s mind, how miserable and alone they feel. or, perhaps how happy they are, overjoyed and at peace. 

OH AND WORLD BUILDING. i pride myself so much on my world building. i honestly think thats one of the better things im good at! just weaving small details into the text, and subtly building a world within your mind, oh i love it so much!!!!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

mmmm nothing really comes to mind? men simping for women who could kick their ass? tho idk if thats really a guilty pleasure....am very fond of same age aus, sometimes mafia aus too... ummm,, yeah

(probably big dick tenzo tbh... and the fact that kakashi’s face is a legal weapon AHAHAHA,,, and broken, vunreble men. also, shattered, all consuming women.)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

oh god... i cannot chose! you, ele, al, and hika leave the kindest comments, and literally any comment on the things i write just make me so so so so so HAPPY. i just them more than kudos tbh. 

but! one comment on the intimacy of being understood i always come back to. it was left by GuardianMars and they wrote that the fic was like a “love letter to the pairing.” and that well. i think about that comment all the time. 

there have been so many others comments that have utterly touched my heart and that i will go to read on terrible, horrible days and i value ALL comments. especially those who say “i’m rereading this again” or “i’ll read anything you put out” that just. there is something so intimate about that, that utter faith and loyalty that i do not know what to do with. 

its so touching and makes me truly believe in the good of the world. 

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

yes! i am attempting to get better at writing smut because ol&w is going to have some fucking in it so i experimented in that shisaku fic and just..... yeah idk man. idk... its something i do want to get better at cause, meh why not? and i want to write some good porn for my readers damnit! HAHAHA 

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm,,, probably that i stress so much and yet so little at the same time? allow me to elaborate! i stress so much about whether my writing is actually good or if people are just being nice LMAO and also posting, i get cold sweats and a thumping heart and yiKES

but also, i enjoy writing so its like “fuck you (jk ily guys) imma write what i wanna!”...do you see my issue? HAHAHA

also, im a planner. most of the time, and a lot of the details in my more serious fics (ol&w) are blink and miss details but they’re important and i LOVE foreshadowing!!!! like yes, i will vaguely mention something and itll simply come back with a vengeance! 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

aaaaaa okokok thank you for this ask LMAO i just love talking about writing and rambling (as i often do,, im a long winded person, im very sorry)! 

but anyways! my summer semester just started up and i’m taking three purely online classes and the college im attending (im a dual enrollment student; meaning a high school and college kid,, taking advantage of the system!) fucked up my schedule so! im taking two TWELVE WEEK CLASSES that will end in AUGUST???? and then my fall sem starts five days later so... no summer break for nadia! yay...

writing will be very slow and updates will be too, which i am so sad and frustrated about because i’ve finally hit a paved road and now we’re driving into the forest! all bumps and bruises damnit! BUT worry not! i (as i said above, am i severe planner. every day has a plan, i am also an avid lover of lists also. i have lists for EVERYTHING) am working out a schedule so that i can get all my school shit done as soon as i can (while not failing) and write while hopefully not burning myself out.  

ol&w is such an intricate fic and im truly trying to give it the justice it deserves,,, im just hoping that my dear readers can bear with me HAHAHAHA there is honestly so much going on in that fic; shikamaru’s development, the underlying plot, the hate to love build up, the world building, and then laying down the foundations for the next fic (because yes, this is supposed to be a trilogy.. question is; will i be able to write it?) (answer: maybe. hopefully. i desperately want to but it might take some time.)

BUT ASLO i have so many oneshots i want to write! kisame week! kakashi week! kibasaku long fic! and not to mention my og work that i plan on rewriting and putting up on ao3 because a few people showed some interest. there is just so much to do and write and i am itching to do it all! but. well, but school, and the exhaustion of insomnia, and the weight of stress, sigh. 

shit sucks, it is what it is. but writing is like my safe haven and i just love pouring all myself into my fics and then baring my soul to you all and you take a peek and decide to keep looking. that is my favorite part of this little pocket of tumblr. 

this was not really... fic related? more like a dump of issues! so sorry about that AHAHAHAH 

anyways! thank you so much mittens! :)))))))))

pick my brain!

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

BNHA College Au - Aizawa

Major: Psychology

Minor: History

Sports: Nope

Clubs: Nope x2

So shouta fully intends to become a teacher, he’s had a rough upbringing and cause of that he wants to help kids in any way he can

This is one of the reasons he chose to major in psych, other than the topic being very interesting he wants to have a good understanding on psychology so that he can be as helpful as possible

He’s planning on becoming a high school teacher cause he feels like that’s the age group he would work best with and also he could help the most there

He works at a local high school too as a tutor, decided he might as well get some experience in and tutors students (mostly first years) on whatever he can help with, he’ll go there on days he doesn’t have any classes

He’s honestly just minoring in history because it’s always interested him, he finds learning how everything has developed over time into today interesting

Him and nemuri definitely have nerdy conversations about history, even though she’s more interested in the art aspect of it, they still talk about it all the time while hizashi and oboro are usually just stuck there listening to them ramble

Anyways, back to him working at a high school, you also work there

You’ve obviously seen shouta multiple times and knew he was from your college, but you didn’t really bother trying to talk to him at first because you just needed to focus on your job

However, one day when shouta was helping a kid on his math homework, they came upon a problem that neither of them knew how to solve, and seeing you in the room the kid called you over to ask if you could help

Cue lowkey blushy shouta because you instantly ran right over and tried helping the kid with a smile, and you had this cute concentrated look on your face as you read over the problem a couple times

Eventually the problem was solved, and the kid had to go leaving you and shouta alone

You didn’t want to be rude and just walk away, and there was no one else needing your help right now so you sat down next to him and started talking to him

It was kinda awkward, you were very much carrying this conversation

“You go to UA right? What’s your major?” its a simple question that has the poor man almost panicking, but he muttered out a “Psychology.”

He’s got the kind of voice that makes him sound like he’s just not interested, but you can tell from the look on his face that he’s flustered, but it doesn’t seem like he wants you to leave

So you keep talking, mainly about your majors and career paths, but you don’t mind - it’s fun talking to the shy boy

Eventually it’s time to leave though, and you have plans elsewhere, so you go your separate ways

But now when you two are working at the same times, neither of you are so hesitant to talk to each other, and any time you have a break you spend it chatting about anything and everything

Of course, being the best friend that he is, hizashi found out about ‘the cute person at work’ that shouta’s been talking to (since after a couple days you finally exchanged numbers and suddenly your conversations weren’t limited to only being at work)

Hizashi is practically begging shouta to ask you out, literally on his hands and knees like “shOUTA PLEASSE YOU GOTTA DO IT!!!! JUST ONE DATE!!” he just wants his friend to be happy and not limited to only hanging out with him oboro and nemuri

But shouta’s too scared to, no matter how cute and nice you are he’s too worried that you’ll say no and he doesn’t wanna ruin the friendship you two have formed

So what does hizashi do? He asks you out for shouta (which almost gets him strangled when shouta finds out)

He took shouta’s phone while he went to shower, and of course he knows the password, so he just opened it up and texted you “hey, can I take you out for coffee tomorrow?”

He gets so excited when you say yes lmao and gives you all the details, then shouta walks back in and is like “the fuck are you doing?” and hizashi gets this huge grin on his face and responds “I got you a date~”

Hizashi barely even saw shouta move before suddenly the phone was ripped out of his hands so that shouta could frantically look to see just what his friend did, and the glare he sends hizashi has him almost regretting everything

Shouta debates telling you his friend sent those texts, but he sees how excitedly you said yes and decides he might as well see how this goes

He wakes up so early the next day lol he’s nervous, and he spends a good hour fixing his appearance, like he considers shaving and putting his hair up but he doesn’t want to look like he’s trying too hard at the same time, so he eventually decides on just wearing nice black jeans and a black long sleeve - going “it’s not even an actual date, it’s just coffee, it’s not that serious”

A couple hours later, shouta’s waiting in the cafe, sitting at a little table waiting for you since he got there a little early. He’s just texting hizashi, who’s offering shouta a bunch of encouragement since he knows he’s nervous, and eventually you walked in, immediately spotting shouta in the corner and going over to him

He’s so cute he sees that you dressed nicely for this too and he tries to be cool when he goes “you look nice” but the blush on his face betrays him, not that you mind, and the blush deepens when you compliment him back

He buys you your coffee, and you sit in your little corner of the cafe - just talking. Even though you guys basically do this all the time at work, now it feels more personal, and it has you both talking about your lives more. Nothing too specific, just funny stories and about your interests other than work or school related things

Once youre both done with your coffee, or when you both notice that you’ve finished it since you were so deep in conversation, he offers to walk you back to your dorm - he doesn’t want to keep you for too long

You let him, but once you get to your dorm, you tell him “I had fun, I hope we can do it again sometime” to which he can’t help but get excited for - you wanna go out with him again! Yay!

After that, it was a bit easier for him to ask you on dates, and you still saw each other at work constantly, and so you guys grew even closer pretty quick

You went on maybe 4 or 5 more casual dates before finally, after work one day, he gathered up all his courage and asked you out officially

“Hey, y/n, would you - would you go out with me? For real?” 

Baby looks so hopeful behind that generic bored stare of his, and of course youre ecstatic! You’ve had a small crush on him basically since day one, and now he’s actually asking you out! So of course you agreed, letting out an excited “of course I will!”

Okay so his friends adore you, they love seeing shouta so happy with you

You two just sit around in your dorms cuddling whenever youre not busy, hizashi acts like it’s gross, your roommate probably does too - but no one can deny how cute you are together

Even the high schoolers you tutor, of course they eventually got wind that you two were dating and they all ship it like crazy

Most of your dates consist of small things, like going back to that cafe, or taking a late night walk in the park, he doesn’t like doing anything too grand

Its fun watching as his beard grows out during finals, he’s too busy studying to shave and youre trying to kiss him but he’s all itchy, and he’s just like “Kitten, I’m sorry I promise I’ll shave later” every single day until he finally does, but then again if you like his beard youre probably thriving during this period 

During one of those late night walk dates, you guys came upon a small black cat under one of the benches. You barely even saw it with how dark it was, but you saw the glint of its eyes and went to investigate and saw a little kitten

He didn’t have a collar, and you didn’t see what could have looked like a momma cat or anything around, and you didn’t want to just leave the poor thing out there in the cold. So what did you and shouta’s dumb asses do? You adopted it. 

Even though cats aren’t allowed in dorms

But that wasn’t about to stop you guys - and you figured it would be better to keep the cat in shouta’s dorm because everyone was already used to hizashi being loud so you could excuse any meowing

Hizashi going “what the fuck guys, you’ve been dating for 4 months and you already have a kid? Smh my head” but he’s also a supportive uncle lmao he loves the kitten too

Oboro loves taking polaroids of you two and now you both have tons of photos of each other/you together in your rooms and its really cute - and also polaroids of your son too of course he’s part of the family

[light-of-valentia]

Boys’ Snuggling Headcanons

ok so for whatever reasons my writing is blowing up now, so i’m gonna take advantage of that and write some probably shitty headcanons right now n post em!!! i’m gonna write these for ALL the student boys too, not just golden deer! i got admin lil right next to me so we talkin these over and writin em together- admin belle

adding this cut bc this is gonna be REALLY long and i dont wanna eat up yall’s dashes kdfhgjdfghlkh, no nsfw content or spoilers though

Black Eagles

Hubert von Vestra

Not super big on cuddling most of the time, as physical affection isn’t his best love language

He has really clammy hands and while he isn’t self-conscious per se, he knows he wouldn’t want to be subjected to such clamminess himself

Likes to slip an arm around his your waist

Doesn’t like to face his partner while cuddling

Holds himself close to his partner’s body while they fall asleep

He will absolutely play with your hair once you are asleep though

Ferdinand von Aegir

Affectionate both in public and private, but more so in private

“A true noble would always shower his dearest in affection”

If you’re ok with it, he would love subtle cuddles in public, like slipping his arm around you if you’re near him or “stretching” to sling his arm over your shoulders to pull you closer

Prefers to be a big spoon, but if you really wanted to be the big spoon, he would 100% let you

He is touch-starved please snuggle him

Likes to run his fingers through your hair and ramble about how amazing you are, how he loves you, etc.

Caspar von Bergliez

He HAS to be the big spoon

Even if you’re much taller or larger than him, he thrives off of feeling like he is protecting you

He loves it when s/o lays their head on his chest

Thrives off of nuzzling his face into the crook of his partner’s neck

Loves to hug his partner tight and close to him, like he’s never gonna let go

If you or he had a bad day, expect cuddles the minute you two get a chance

Cuddles happen on his bed because then when his you is gone, it still smells like you

Linhardt von Hevring

Sleepy boy loves snuggling, but you’ll never hear him say it

Reason?? He’s never awake long enough to realize

If you two are on a couch or bed and he’s drowsy, he’ll just use you as a pillow

He’s like a koala he’ll just latch on

Loves being the little spoon but, again, won’t admit it

Likes to face you and run his fingers through your hair

The pillow he lost on campus was because of him using “I lost my pillow” as an excuse to use you for one

Blue Lions

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd

He is so cuddly oh my god

Physical contact from you is just so healing to him he is so touch starved PLEASE cuddle him

He will totally walk around with you in his coat like a bat with his wings folded around you, hugging you to his torso

He is super shy, but also very clingy, so this is how he gets his necessary dose of you during the day when you aren’t alone

If he had a rough day or he is being bothered by memories from his past, he will come into your room crying and that’s how you know it’s snuggle time

Absolutely loves being the little spoon but he will never admit this to you

Depending on his mood, sometimes he just likes to curl up around you and hold you tight, and other times he just likes to bury his face in your chest as refuge from the world

Also reeeally loves to face you when cuddling

He really likes to lay on your chest and feel your heartbeat

This boy just loves to snuggle so much, the physical contact and closeness just puts him at ease

If you let him, he will cling to you like a stuffed animal while you both fall asleep

Sorry his are so much longer than the other ones- baby boy has been through a lot and he really needs his snuggles

Dedue Molinaro

Not super cuddly by nature, but if you’re into it, he’ll absolutely do it with you

He is like a human furnace, so cuddles with him can be with or without blankets

Faerghus winters too cold for comfort? Call in Dedue and you two will warm up with couch snuggles, hot tea, and books

He always smells like nice spices from whatever he last cooked

It’s usually you who initiates cuddle sessions, though he sometimes will when he is particularly exhausted

He doesn’t get too reachy and ansty with snuggling- he likes to use it to calm down both physically and mentally

Likes to fall asleep with a hand or finger over yours

Ashe Ubert

Lowkey extremely cuddly, but not as dramatic about it as Dimitri

He loves to be the big spoon; he has always been fiercely protective of the ones he loves, having had to provide for his siblings from a very young age, and this definitely shows in his desire to protect you

However, if you want to be the big spoon, he usually won’t object. He tries to be manly and dominant, but sometimes, he can’t help but find himself as putty in your hands

He l o v e s to snuggle you up from behind and nuzzle his face into your hair- the smell of it is heavenly to him

He doesn’t really care if you’re dirty or freshly-bathed, the smell of you and especially your hair is so comforting to him

Loves to hold you tight and run his fingers through your hair or massage your body

After a long day, Ashe likes to lay down with you, your legs and bodies all tangled up together, and just gaze into your eyes

The look he always gives you when you’re snuggling is absolutely radiating with love

Having you asleep in his arms is like the goddesses’ gift to him, and he just likes to pet your hair and comb it, give you little butterfly kisses wherever he can, and administer all sorts of innocent little gifts of affection

Sylvain Jose Gautier

Snuggles with him tend to be either very playful or emotional depending on how he feels

Some days, he just likes to cling to you and massage wherever his hands wind up and gush to you about how lucky he is to have someone who loves him for himself and not his title or crest

Likes to tickle you sometimes, and use your giggling moments of vulnerability to get himself closer to you

If you have longer hair, snuggling Sylvain means he’s gonna end up playing with it

You will have conversations while snuggling and Sylvain will just be twirling little strands of your hair and sometimes even braiding it

Loves falling asleep on your chest, feeling your heartbeat and knowing that you’re real and you really do love him

Felix Hugo Fraldarius

He really likes to feel warm, and he gets his warms from snuggling you

This never happens in public though, always behind closed doors

The first few times you snuggle, he refuses to face you because his face in full blush and he can’t let you see it oh no

Lowkey loves the smell of your hair and how soft your skin is

Likes to ghost his fingers through your hair and nuzzle into your neck

On the rarer occasion, he will be whispering sweet nothings and just snuggling you and clinging to you and humming

He tries to make himself the big spoon, but if you play your cards right, he is putty in your hands

Golden Deer

Claude von Riegan

Likes to start off snuggle sessions with some teasing, but if they don’t escalate into makeout sessions, he likes to enjoy a relatively peaceful silence with you

He likes to do little things in private to get your attention for some snuggles, like pinch your side or tug your wrist lightly

He doesn’t mind maintaining physical closeness with you in public either, though

He absolutely will pull you towards him by the waist, give you a kiss, and snuggle up to you for a hot minute in public, and he really does not care who is watching unless you do

He loves facing you and peppering your face, neck, and collarbone with soft little kisses

Big spoon. Rarely lets you be the big spoon, and when he does, he is such a tease about it

He likes to rub little circles into your lower back and waist

Loves holding you up close to him, chests flushed together, his head resting on top of yours

He really likes it when you tousle his curls and brush through them with your fingers

If you have a developed chest, he has no shame in using your breasts as pillows

Likes it when you fall asleep on top of him

He isn’t clingy per se, but he is like a magnet to you and he enjoys having a physical closeness to you

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester

He tries to upkeep his chivalrous noble attitude while snuggling, but after a little while, he drops the act and just tries to enjoy the moment

Loves to converse with you while your bodies are tangled together

When he’s stressed, he loves it when you give him little back massages

If you’ve recently bathed, he lo o o ves the smell of you all fresh and clean while you snuggle

Sometimes, he fills idle air with praise of you, but other times, he just likes to savor silence

Snuggling with him usually only happens in private, since he gets very flustered with PDA that is not initiated by him

Raphael Kirsten

Big boy like to hug

He is generally super warm, but his hands and feet can be cold

His hair is v e r y soft and he likes when you ruffle through it

He likes to lay down with you and hug you to his chest

Alternatively, he doesn’t mind a bit when you just sprawl over him and use his muscular torso as a pillow

He likes the thought of long snuggle sessions with you, but he tends to fall asleep early on

Ignatz Victor

He likes to be very gentle whilst cuddling you

Prefers to face you so that he can take in and admire how amazing your features are, you’re like a muse to him

Massages? Massages.

Likes to spritz whatever couch or bed you’re using with rose or lavender oil for a nice added aesthetic to relax in

Snuggling is very sensually relaxing to him, and he loves to brush through your hair, take in your scent, and soak up everything you have to offer

Likes to be the big spoon, since it gives him an opportunity to show how much he appreciates you, but doesn’t object to being the little spoon

Glasses usually come off whilst snuggling so he doesn’t break them, but if you are both being still, he will put them back on so that he can appreciate how beautiful/handsome you are

[siilvers-blog]

thor x gn!reader // shopping fiasco

word count : 2 001

just to kick-start the blog !! this thing has been laying around my ao3 for a while now , so i actually have some content to put here to showcase the future of this blog , i guess haha ?? i don’t wanna talk for too long , so enjoy !! reader is gender neutral , feedback is appreciated ofc <33 i love my strong buff space babey

- mod em

( under the cut for length ! )

“God…” You huffed, heels clicking against the wet sidewalk, despite the fact that the heels themselves were quite small. The three giant paper shopping bags were already damp – two of which you were holding, the third hanging off of your right wrist. You could feel your shirt getting slightly wet due to the bags and though it wasn’t unbearable, it just felt wrong. You cursed at yourself for deciding to walk to the store instead of driving. It was just so sunny in the morning, no one could’ve guessed it would’ve started raining so suddenly. Not to mention, you definitely couldn’t have guessed you would wind up with so many groceries. It already spoiled your mood, to see it raining once you left the store was even worse. The cherry on the top was the car that splashed you, making you even more wet than before, but that was without saying. You had absolutely no idea if you were going to make it through the fifteen whole minutes it takes to go back to your apartment. And in the odd case you did, you could already hear your roommate mocking you and telling you that you should’ve paid attention to the weather report.

Of course, the streets of New York proved to be friendly as ever – no one even batted an eye to your struggle or offered to help, which annoyed you to a small extent. Sure, they might’ve had other things to do, but seriously, you could barely even see where you were going because of the damned bags! And no, you sure as hell weren’t going to ask anyone either, that was too big of a price to pay and you sure didn’t need another topping on the abundance of disasters which happened today. Being turned down harshly by someone was going to make everything a hundred times worse, you’d think about it for the rest of your life! But to say it wasn’t tempting would’ve been a huge understatement.

And literally, after two minutes of walking, you felt like you’d pass out any minute. You tilted your head upwards, eyes desperately in search of a bench. Even if it was a wet bench, you didn’t care. The fact that the rain had subsided to a light drizzle was already enough for you, but you definitely still needed to sit down and rethink your life decisions. Unfortunately, it didn’t take you long to realize that in this dark world, there were no benches you could sit upon and you were about to resort to your secret weapon – crying. Not to guilt-trip a random passerby into helping you, no, you just genuinely wanted to cry. But you had already stopped yourself before you could even start, believing you had found your salvation.

There, taking a selfie with two random girls, was none-other than Thor himself. He had changed since the last time you saw him on TV, you recalled. He didn’t have the long blond locks adorning him anymore, hair sloppily chopped up. That all paled in front of the fact that his right eye was covered with an eye-patch, you could only assume that the eye was missing. Nevertheless, you had to admit, he was still incredibly attractive. You wanted to approach him and ask for help, naturally, he was a strong hero – but the girls that had flocked to him just a second ago for that selfie were a reminder to you that he was a nation-wide hero, a very desired one at that. It reminded just how intimidating he was, helping some random person off the street with shopping bags just didn’t seem to be a fit in the schedule. And actually, what the hell was he even doing here? Last time you checked, he wasn’t even human.

But after a second of pondering you had decided to swallow your pride and anxiety, and approach him before he left. Your legs wobbled on the way and you weren’t even sure if it was fear or fatigue, you only hoped you weren’t going to fall over in front of a norse god. You breathed in.

“E…Excuse me…”

That was terrible, nice going!

It took him a second to notice you over the bags, not to mention he was towering over your small frame, but once he did, his face twisted into a friendly smile. “Ah, are you here for one of those pictures?”

Your face was flushed red, you half-debated whether you should just say yes, take the dumb selfie and flee, there was no way he was going to agree with your outlandish request! But…either way, you were already dying, so what did it matter?

“N- No-“ you had denied, but quickly stopped yourself. “N- Not to say I w- wouldn’t want one o- on a normal occasion, b- but- I just wanted to ask if you could please help me with my bags, I- I’m so cl- close to just dropping them and b- being done with it, b- but-”

“Oh, of course!” And before you could even comprehend his answer, the two bags you were cradling were off of your strained arms and firmly held by the straps in his own hands. He glanced at the remaining one, completely ignoring your wide eyes. “Do you need me to carry that one too?”

You could only gape at the man, your face even more red than before. Out of all the ways your day could’ve gone…Thor Odinson, the god of thunder himself, was ready to carry your bags for you.

“N- No, I’m okay!” You stuttered out quickly, face miraculously redder than before as you stared at the man that was looking at you expectantly. Oh! He didn’t know where you lived, of course! “R- Right, let’s go! I don’t live too far from here, s- so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem! S- Sorry!”

“It is no problem, midgardian! I think my brother was about to stand me up anyways!” He grinned, unlike you, pretty unfazed by the bags in his hands. “So, what is your name?”

“(Y/N).” You answered with a smile, not bothering to look him in the eyes in fear of going red again. “I…I guess it’s nice to meet you, I mean… I- I know who you are and t- this is kind of a lousy way to meet an avenger, I- I mean, not like this i- is a long-term thing-”

“You seem awfully anxious,” he started. “It is merely a couple of bags, if you are worried, I have been through worse.” He finished it off with a chuckle and though you definitely would’ve been worried if it were a normal person, it wasn’t the cause of your anxiety currently.

“N- No, that’s not the case!” You rebutted right away, not wanting him to get it wrong. “I’ve just had a super shitty day and I literally just asked one of the world’s mightiest heroes to carry my shopping bags because I’m this pathetic, you know?”

You definitely couldn’t tell, but he was quite amused by your small rambling. Besides, it wasn’t everyday a midgardian asked him to carry their bags, quite the humorous development if he had to say so himself. And he made it apparent in a second by letting a light laugh leave his mouth – a bit different from the chuckle, you could tell, it seemed more reassuring.

“It’s almost like I would only help in life-or-death situation. If I am here, I might as well do something good that doesn’t have me in a life-threatening situation.” His smile got even wider, but this time you looked and got to witness how charming he actually looked with that soft expression on his face. You found yourself…feeling better. “It’s doing something good that matters, don’t you think?”

“I guess so…”

The rest of the walk was filled with small-talk and yet, it was oddly fun. Obviously, it was all made better by the fact that you only had to carry one bag, that Thor kept insisting on taking throughout the whole trip, saying that he might as well carry them all. But you were fine, this time definitely. Plus, you couldn’t wait to brag to your roommate about Thor keeping you company and carrying your bags, you thought you deserved the bragging rights by now. Occasionally, you two were interrupted by girls - and sometimes guys – stopping you two and taking a picture with Thor, but you weren’t bothered, it was cute to see him act so nice towards his fans and you could only watch with a fond smile from the sidelines. But of course, your apartment wasn’t that far, and the fun you were having with your companion was bound to be cut short any second. He had walked you up the stairs, not wanting to leave you alone with three bags. But, of course, here your door stood and it was the time to split ways. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, especially with the fact that you had only met approximately fifteen minutes ago, but he had a surprisingly…friendly presence that you didn’t want to separate from. It might’ve been just the five-year-old in your heart talking, but you wanted to…spend more time with him, as if this encounter meant something.

It didn’t, most likely, but you wanted it to.

“Well, I hope you do not run into a problem like this next time you go shopping!” He exclaimed, smile not dropping as he watched you fiddle with your keys.

You shoved the key into the keyhole violently, a bit too much for your tastes, but your hands were trembling nervously and you wouldn’t have actually put the key in if you were doing it with the usual gentleness. There was a single question running through your head right now, kind of like a half-assed rehearsal and you were almost debating whether you should even utter anything besides a ‘goodbye’ at this point, but…you needed to take charge.

“Listen, Thor…” You cringed at your own words, it was like you were talking to an old friend, which…wasn’t how you intended to say it. But at least you had gotten his attention. “D- Do you want to, like, I dunno, hang out some time? L- Like, let me repay you for helping me here- I k- know heroic deeds don’t need a reward most of the time, b- but, and I’m just assuming, but y- you probably don’t have the hang of New York yet, s- so I’d like to show you s- some coffee shops or a f- fast food joint-”

“Have you been to Shawarma Palace before?” He interrupted your ramblings yet again, proposing an interesting question. You couldn’t say you have, you’ve seen it sometimes during your walks, but…

“No, what of it?”

“Well then, I suppose I’ll be the one showing you this fast food joint you speak of!” He chuckled slyly, pulling out a phone out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Stark had given me this device, told me to put it to good use and said I can contact people with it and that I just need a number of sorts. Think you can help me with that, midgardian?”

“R-Right!” You quickly grabbed the phone from his hand and typed your number in, not forgetting to give yourself a small call just so you could have his – you know, in case you decided to make the first move (extremely unlikely outcome).

“I’ll make sure to ask Stark how to work this.” He said as you returned the phone to him. “In the meantime, don’t get stuck with this many bags, I might not be around to help.”

And that was the last of him that you heard that day, seeing as how he gave you a small wave and made his leave, while you stood there, completely in shock after realizing what had seriously just happened.

You definitely deserved those bragging rights.

[rivetgoth]

Okay, the verdict is out, I finally got to watch THREE FROM HELL after anticipating it for ages and I got some thoughtz.

First, some full disclosure, so y’all know where my biases are:

1. I genuinely adore House of 1000 Corpses and I consider The Devil’s Rejects one of my favorite movies of all time. In general I really adore a lot of Rob Zombie’s work — I also loved 31. That being said, he’s been hit or miss in the past and there’s some stuff of his I really detested too, but overall he’s not only impressed me but stood out as the creator of some of my absolutely favorite films. I wanna clarify this because I’ve seen a lot of people write up scathing reviews for this film that literally start with “I HATE ROB ZOMBIE’S MOVIES!!!!!” and that just seems like a really unfair way to approach a review specifically for a sequel. Idk what you’re expecting to get out of it.

2. Speaking of that, I love good horror sequels and some of my favorite movies of all time are specifically sequels. I fall in love with characters and concepts and I love seeing them expanded on in fun ways. I have no inherent negative feelings towards sequels at all.

I say all this to point out that I was genuinely looking forward to this movie without any unfair biases, it didn’t have to change my mind on anything larger than itself, like “convince me that Rob Zombie is a capable film director after all” or “convince me that sequels have artistic merit” or anything like that.

My overall thought, before I explain anything else, is pretty much that I feel like the first half of the film is extremely promising and fun, and the second half of the movie is so bad that I more or less wish I’d just turned it off halfway through and pretended that was the whole film. And, given the fact that so many of the developmental issues with the film that led to its shakiness came from Sid Haig’s declining health, I almost feel like this wasn’t a movie that had to be made at all — at least in this form.

I read one review that pretty much said that for Rob Zombie to revive this series he needed a damn good reason, and he never managed to make that reason clear. And I feel like that’s exactly what my overall takeaway was here. The ending of Devil’s Rejects is pretty much perfect. In order for that to be retconned and expanded upon, something really mind blowing had to happen. In general, even when you’re not taking the risk of retconning an ending of such epic proportions, if a sequel is made to something I want to see it do something new and uniquely memorable in its own right. Devil’s Rejects itself is a perfect example of this; one of the things I completely adore about it is the fact that it expanded upon the very classic retro slasher feel of 1000 Corpses to center the attention on the killers and recreate them as antiheroes with an entirely different tone. Similarly, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 stands out to me as one of the great horror sequels, partly in the way it so fearlessly completely shifts it’s tone away from the total frenzied isolation horror of TCM 1 and does something entirely different. Other series try less for “perspective/atmosphere shift” and more for “just go bigger” and that can work too — I think the increasing extremity of gore and complexity of the traps in the Saw series (which I love) is a good example, especially through the first three films which are by far the best as a coherent trilogy.

The WEIRD thing about Three From Hell is that Rob Zombie has clearly proven that he 1) understands the idea of sequels that build upon original films in unique new ways 2) has no qualms being increasingly and shamelessly extreme and shocking and horrific. But instead, I felt like Three From Hell is... jarringly tame, actually, compared to what we got from Rejects. And I mean, in some ways that’s fine, I didn’t necessarily miss the way-too-long graphic rape scene in Rejects, which is a miserable chore to get through in just how sickening it is. But there’s no moment where I felt that we get anything more extreme or intense than what’s seen in Rejects. It all feels like it’s been toned way down, which is bizarre to me. The victims aren’t people we’re sympathetic towards like the traveling musicians we meet in Rejects, and their deaths aren’t particularly gruesome - The majority of the deaths in this movie are “shot in the head” or “stabbed.” That’s it. The climax of the film is extremely similar to the opening shootout of Rejects, with significantly lower stakes and less memorable artistic direction, meaning that one film’s introductory scene is able to create a more intense moment than this one’s entire two hour duration.

The thing is, I feel like the first half of the movie really has potential. There are things I could nitpick — for example I love Richard Brake and I feel like Foxy is fun but flat — but the majority of my complaints would be things that, if the movie had a stronger second half, could easily have been further developed and solved. In fact, the first half of the movie feels like it’s gearing up to pretty much be exactly what I’d want out of a Rejects sequel. It’s weird and engaging and markedly different from its predecessors. It focuses on Otis, Spaulding, and Baby’s survival and arrest after the ending of Rejects, the subsequent trial, and then Otis’ escape and attempt to save Baby (after Spaulding is given the death penalty; more on that later). There’s a ton I love here, mostly Otis and Baby’s relationship being given more time in a really interesting way. The stakes are high and Otis clearly cares about his sister to a degree that feels like a fitting continuation of Rejects’ attempts at showing sympathetic or relatable aspects to these characters that makes them very three dimensional and complex. Bill Moseley is the fucking greatest and his ability to make Otis so completely depraved and unrestrained while also clearly caring about his family is one of my favorite things about the series and this played it up really well. You get the feeling that Otis is genuinely concerned for Baby, even after she’s freed, although it mostly comes out in yelling and deadpan snarking. Baby, meanwhile, gets the beginning of a completely fascinating character arc that included my favorite dialogue and scenes through the entire film as we’re shown that after a decade in prison she’s gone completely off the deep end. She rambles on about being Snow White and saving kittens and cries while hallucinating ballerinas with cat heads. By the time she’s free even Otis is expressing vocal concern for her. We get to meet the first half of the film’s main antagonist, Warden Virgil Harper, who was memorable and fun and felt right at home in the Rejects canon. We got the chance to see him developed into a character you almost start to feel sorry for; he’s cocky, but he clearly has no idea how in over his head he really is. On top of this, the scene when the clown shows up at Harper’s house while Otis and Foxy are torturing him and his friends and family is the best torture scene in the film in the complete absurd awfulness of the clown trying to put on a funny show while everyone is sobbing and a man is bleeding out.

At this point, the movie is going in a direction I totally dig. By the time Baby is finally free and able to reunite with Otis and he’s picking up on how fucked up she’s become, I’m genuinely excited to see how things will develop. It feels like Rob Zombie was setting up a film where we get to explore the siblings’ dynamic in a way that’s new and intriguing but developing from the things people loved in Rejects, which is that perfect blend of “utterly irredeemably despicable people” and “genuinely likable, oddly human characters.” Baby and Otis only really have each other at this point (Foxy is there, but even in the movie itself they allude to the fact that he really barely matters — a bit of a copout of a running gag, but whatever), and Baby actually voices this. It hit me at that moment how all of their family has died, and considering how much family has been a driving force for these characters, they were literally initially introduced in 1000 Corpses as the classic murder family and that’s all been taken from them, it’s genuinely sad. Spaulding’s death feels like it could be the final catalyst for... something to come from this, as that was Baby’s father and such a hugely important member of the Firefly family. We have Otis and Baby, alone (well, accompanied by Foxy) in the late 1980s (also a COMPLETELY not utilized detail), on the run as the country’s most wanted serial killers and trying to cope with the weird scenario of being merciless murderers who’ve had their entire family taken from them.

But we don’t get any of that in the second half. At all. Instead, we have Baby suggesting they all run away to Mexico. They do, winding up in a little hotel in the middle of nowhere full of prostitutes and alcohol. Baby wins a knife throwing contest against some big misogynistic guys. Then Danny Trejo’s character’s unmentioned son shows up (oh yeah; Danny Trejo was here for about 5 seconds, he died early on), has about 3 lines of dialogue, sends in 20 masked luchadors to kill Baby and Otis, they have an extremely long low stakes shootout, and with the help of the second half’s most interesting but still underdeveloped and shockingly unironically sympathetic character they burn Danny Trejo’s son alive and the movie ends. And that’s it. The characters regress even further backwards than their Rejects counterparts. They don’t really do... anything, actually. Otis fucks some women and then lays in bed flirting with them until the luchadors show up with their machine guns. My favorite moment was Otis’ attempts at saving Baby’s life by telling Aquarius (Danny Trejo’s character’s son) to let her go because he was the only one responsible for his father’s death, and they share a brief exchange about family. But that was one interesting moment amidst an extremely stale and low stakes plot separate from anything I care about after the intensity and high stakes present in the previous movie’s climax, and even this movie’s first half. A lot of things are recycled here, like the revenge plot driving the antagonist, but Sheriff Wydell’s descent into righteous insanity in Rejects was given way more time to develop, or a character betraying the Fireflys’ trust, but instead of the extremely memorably shocking, selfish betrayal from Charlie who was a longtime acquaintance clearly considered family (plus he actually attempts to “redeem” himself in the end), this is betrayal from a random hotel owner we do not know or care about. When the credits roll and we see Otis and Baby and Foxy driving away to... somewhere, I don’t even know where they’re going, I’m not even really sure what I’m supposed to feel. I chuckled a little at Baby being allowed to drive after an earlier argument where Otis asserted she shouldn’t, but that was it.

I hadn’t read anything about this movie before watching it, because I didn’t want anything to be spoiled for me. I was really excited for it! I learned that Sid Haig, who of course passed on only very recently (RIP), was dealing with very serious health issues that made him unable to film the movie, when originally the film had been written with the original infamous three - Otis, Baby, Spaulding - as the leads for the whole thing. Rob Zombie wanted to honor him with at least a cameo, knowing that the movie wouldn’t be the same without the Captain, but aside from a brief few minutes of screen time he had to rewrite the whole rest of the film with Spaulding removed. I feel like that’s where a majority of the problems with the movie lie. It’s why Foxy is as flat as he is and it’s why there’s an awkward uncertainty in how to deal with the loss of the Captain as the patriarch and why the whole idea of Otis and Baby’s aloneness is so awkwardly glossed over, like Mr. Zombie noticed the elephant in the room enough to address the turmoil but didn’t want to rewrite the entire movie from scratch to account for one of the most important characters in the franchise (maybe THE most important) being unexpectedly killed off.

Now, I LOVE some films that have been to developmental hell and back and came out as solid movies. In fact, there’s an extremely special place in my heart for films that fought tooth and nail to be made. It inspires me as a creator myself and it’s why indie low budget horror is my favorite genre of movie. I absolutely love seeing creators fight to bring their artistic visions to life against the odds. There are fantastic sequels out there where major actors either died or refused to/were unable to return and the stories were reworked or the actors replaced. I feel like something went wrong here. The moment he realized that Sid Haig would be unable to return, Rob Zombie should have set the whole thing aside and done a total rewrite. Right now, the knowledge of what was going on with Sid Haig behind the scenes makes the movie’s shortcomings go from “poor writing and storytelling decisions” to “genuinely extremely sad.”

One of the things I totally love about the writing of Devil’s Rejects is the way Rob Zombie inserts seemingly random moments that do nothing but add to the overall atmosphere and tone of his world. Random arguments, random character quirks, random shots of random things that simultaneously add a gritty “anything goes” realism as well as a surreal absurd humor. I’m also ALL for disjointed, nonlinear, or otherwise experimental and strange plots with a lot going on in them, I don’t think a big genre shift halfway through a movie is inherently bad. In the past, it’s been Rob Zombie’s fearlessness with experimenting with strange, often shameless storytelling decisions that have made his films so memorable and enjoyable and even inspiring to me. But in Three From Hell, there’s just a sense that everything feels kind of... disconnected and unfinished. It feels like two different movies were trying to be made and neither were fully developed. It just ends up sort of feeling like a kind of sad mess.

[robinrunsfiction]

The Fantastic Adventures of Glitter Ghost and Killer Lux - Chapter 2

Co-Written with @mariawritesfanfic

Song Recommendations for this chapter: Paradise by Coldplay and Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

It was the middle of the night when Lux rolled over and sighed before quietly getting up, careful not to disturb the Killjoys sleeping around her. She crept quietly out into the main room of the diner and was surprised to see Kobra was up, reading a magazine that was spread out in front of him. He glanced up when he noticed her enter the room.

"Can't sleep?"

"Honestly, I haven't slept since I came to after the explosion. My ears are ringing so bad I can't get to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. I covered the night watch for Glitter so she could get some rest since I was up anyway. I didn't mention it to her, though, I didn't want her to worry. But at this rate, I figure I'll either go insane, get used to it, or collapse from exhaustion," she rambled.

Kobra nodded silently and got up, grabbed something off of one of the counters, and headed back toward the door. "Come on."

Lux followed him out the door as he walked over to the Trans Am. Kobra slid behind the driver's seat, and Lux got into the passenger seat a little cautiously. Killjoys inherently trusted each other, but it was the middle of the night, she had met this person only hours ago, and Glitter didn't know where she was going.

"Fun Ghoul has had his fair share of bombs go off before he's ready and he's fucked up his ears a few times. But whenever we're in the car, he'd fall asleep. He said it drowns out the ringing," Kobra explained.

Lux nodded and leaned out the open window to look up at the stars above the car, felt the wind on her face and breathed it deeply. 

"Thanks for doing this," she murmured as she settled back into the seat and listened to the tires against the pavement below. 

"No problem," he smiled, stealing a quick glance, before bringing his attention back to the road.

For the first time in as long as she could remember, Lux's mind felt clear of worry like BLI couldn't touch her in that car with Kobra. She sighed as her eyelids started to feel heavy. She slid lower into her seat and let sleep finally wash over her.

Kobra glanced over at Lux and smiled again, seeing that his idea had worked as well as he had hoped. He had, to his own surprise, developed an interest in the Killjoy when he saw her and Glitter walk into their diner. A lot of 'joys wore flashy outfits to rebel against BLI's oppression, but he appreciated her more subtle, dark attire. And the fact that she was brave enough to waltz right into a BLI lab, and live to tell the tale? He was really impressed.

As he pulled up in front of the diner, he scooped up Lux carefully to keep her from waking and carried her back inside. With her head against his shoulder, she sighed and nuzzled against him, and he couldn't help but smile.

"What the hell is going on?" Glitter snapped, startling Kobra who didn't expect anyone to be awake.

"Shh," he whispered hoarsely nodding down to Lux's sleeping form. He carried her into the back room, setting her down gently on an open cot, brushing the hair out of her face. She smiled as she cozied into the bed, and Kobra went back out to where Glitter was waiting.

"Again, what the hell did you do with her?" Glitter asked, arms crossed.

"She didn't want to worry you, but she hasn't slept in days from the ringing in her ears from the blast."

"So where did you take her?"

"I just drove her around until she fell asleep. It works for Ghoul, worked for her too," Kobra shrugged.

"And you didn't bother to leave a note? How can I be sure that you didn't do anything else to her?" Glitter was crossing the room to get in Kobra's face. "If I find out that you hurt her in any way, be it drugs, or physical violence, or whatever, it will not be pretty. Lux has been my one constant this whole time, and I cannot be without her." Kobra put his hands up defensively as she stalked toward him, but then Glitter sighed and sat down, her anger turning into weariness as she rubbed her temples. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Kobra. I just don't know what I would do without Lux. We've been on this wild journey together, and she just means the world to me."

Glitter looked at Kobra as he sat down across from her, "I get that, I really do. I don't know what I would do without the other 'joys." Kobra reached across the table and grabbed Glitter's hand, "We are the good guys, and I would never hurt her; I promise."

~

The next morning, Lux woke up, completely confused by her surroundings. She hadn't slept in so long, so she felt a lot better, but how did she get asleep? The ringing was still there. Then she remembered Kobra driving her around in the cool desert night and smiled. 

Kobra was so pretty, she thought. With his jawline that could cut glass, the way his blonde hair was combed back, those hazel eyes. No, she had to keep this under wraps, it would only make things messy if she acted on it. Besides, she could tell immediately that Glitter and Sandman had caught each other's eye, and that was bound to be endless amusement for her.

She got up and headed into the main room and found Soul Punk and Kobra talking.

"How'd you sleep?" Kobra asked. 

"Good, finally! Thanks for your help," she smiled.

Soul Punk looked between the two, confused, but decided not to pry. They were adult Killjoys; he didn't need details of what went on after he went to bed.

"Where's Glitter? And everyone else?"

"She went with Party, Jet, and Sandman out to your car to check it out. Novocaine and Phoenix went back to our hideout for a bit," Punk replied.

"It's a good thing Novocaine didn't go with Glitter," Lux laughed "I don't think she would've liked that very much." Kobra gave her a smile at the thought of Glitter and Novocaine being stuck in a car after last night.

"No one saw where Ghoul went, but sometimes he just wanders off for a while," Kobra smirked.

"So, what's there to do for fun out here then?"

"We were gonna go target practice, we were waiting for you to get up," Kobra smiled.

Lux suddenly felt a blush start on her cheeks, and she tried to control it. "Yea sounds good. Let me go get my blaster," she said before hurrying out of the room. 

~

From the passenger seat of the Trans Am, Glitter navigated Party back to where they had left their car covered in branches and tumbleweeds to keep it hidden. She had volunteered to ride in the back seat, looking for any reason to be in close quarters with Sandman, but Party insisted she ride upfront.

When they arrived and uncovered the vehicle, Glitter popped the hood and described the problem while Party and Jet both set about looking at the parts. As she stood off to the side, describing the noise she heard before the car broke down, she felt eyes on her. 

Glancing over her shoulder, she caught Sandman looking her way, instead of up and down the road like he said he would do to keep them safe while they worked. She looked back under the hood, conferring with Jet about the last time she changed the oil, then glanced back at Sandman. This time he shot her a cocky smile, and Glitter felt her stomach do a flip and she smiled back, suddenly feeling quite flustered. So much so that she didn't hear what Jet was asking her and ended up hitting her head on the hood of the car. "Fudgenuggets," she yelped, rubbing her head. 

"Fudgenuggets?" Jet asked.

"Yeah, sometimes I make up words for cuss words" Glitter looked at Party who was trying not to laugh.

"Well, I think it's adorable," Sandman said, startling her again. He had moved from his post on the side of the road to stand beside here.

Party cleared his throat "Well, I think I know what the problem is, but we will need a few parts before we can get this baby up and running again." Party closed the hood, and they started to cover the car again.

Glitter sighed. "So that means Lux and I will need to crash with you guys a few more days?" she asked, as she didn't want to overstep her boundaries.

"Of course," Jet confirmed. "When we get back to the diner, we will work out better sleeping arrangements and get everything squared away." He had opened the passenger side door, which left Glitter to sit in the back with Sandman, much to her delight.

~

Kobra, Soul Punk and Lux were not the best shooters in the group and had spent the better part of the afternoon practicing on empty Power Pup cans around the back of the diner when the others arrived back.

"Only one car?" Soul asked when the others rounded the building. 

"Only one car," Glitter replied while sliding out of the backseat. "You okay crashing here again Lux?"

"Fine with me! I can sleep wherever," she replied, doing her best to sound convincing, not knowing that Glitter had caught Kobra bringing her in last night and knew about her ears and trouble sleeping.

The group decided to hang out in the back of the diner to watch Kobra, Punk, and Lux practice shooting, not having much else to do.

"Do you wanna practice shooting?" Party asked Glitter, as they watched Kobra pick off another can. He didn't mean to offend her, knowing how she went off on Novocaine the night before but didn't want her to feel left out.

"Nah, I'm a pretty decent shot, but I'm also skilled in hand to hand combat. At any given moment, I have multiple knives on me," Glitter replied with an evil grin.

Party looked slightly concerned. "What about when you sleep?" 

Glitter shrugged. "I mean, if they aren't on me because I'm sleeping in fewer clothes than normal," she noticed Party looked away from her, "they are always within arm's reach."

"Would you mind teaching me some basics?" Party asked.

"I would love to!" Glitter squealed, "Next to glitter bombs, my favorite thing is teaching people how to fight," she laughed.

"Hey, everyone!" Party yelled, "Glitter here is apparently skilled in hand to hand combat and would be willing to show us a few things if anyone is interested." Glitter grinned at everyone, and Lux was just shaking her head, not surprised that her friend was thriving in the spotlight.

After a few hours of practice, they decided to call it a night and have some dinner. It was a clear night, no clouds in the sky, and quiet.

"Who wants to have dinner outside?" Party asked. Everyone looked around at each other confused. "Look, I know this is different from how we normally do things, but I think it's a nice enough night out and I think it could be ...fun," Party shrugged.

Glitter and Lux both jumped up. "Sign us up!" they replied in unison.

Everyone hurried outside to get everything set up so there would be enough seats and places to sit on the ground.

"This would be better if we could have a fire pit," Lux sighed. "Sitting around the fire and talking all night, that's the best."

"I miss it that. Roasting marshmallows and just being carefree" Glitter agreed thinking back to a simpler time.

"We can do a fire if you want," Jet replied with a smile. He went to find some wood, as Kobra dug a hole and arranged rocks to form a ring to contain the flames.

The night went on, and everyone was relaxing and laughing. Ghoul had returned from wherever he wandered off to, but he didn't want to share what he was working on yet. Much to Glitter and Lux's surprise, Punk had an old guitar and was singing a song - he had a fantastic voice, and they understood his name a little better.

Lux was making her way back to a chair after talking with Party for a bit when Jet motioned her over. "Hey Lux, is Glitter offended by swearing or something?"

"Oh, fuck no," she laughed, then a realization hit her. "Wait, did she say some weird made-up cuss word?"

"Yea, fudgey-nuggets or something, when we were at the car."

Lux threw her head back, laughing. "Just as I suspected," she said before heading over to where Glitter was sitting on the ground watching Punk play, leaving Jet confused.

"Fudgenuggets? You are into Sandman!" She whispered into Glitter's ear while grinning.

Glitter whipped around; eyes narrowed at her friend.

"You shut your mouth," Glitter said while standing and pulling Lux away from everyone. Lux was giggling up a storm.

"Do I think Sandman is adorable and very, very, very pretty to look at?" Glitter asked while making sure they were out of earshot of everyone, "Yes, yes I do. But that's not something we can worry about now. Getting together with a Killjoy, or Youngblood, or whoever is the last thing on my mind. As it should be with you!" Glitter grinned.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Lux argued, trying to stay aloof.

"Oh really, how many llama facts have you told Kobra while I was out trying to fix the car?"

Lux just stared at her; eyes narrowed. "...Maybe one, or two."

Glitter laughed. "I knew it, you get around a guy you think is cute, all you can think of is facts about llamas. But Lux," Glitter grabbed Lux's hands, "please stay as focused as you can. We don't want to get swept up and end up hurt."

"I won't if you won't."

"Deal. Now, let's get back to the boys and try to keep the awkwardness around the cute ones to a minimum," Glitter laughed as they walked back over to the group.

~

The next morning, Glitter was sitting outside the diner watching the sunrise.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Sandman asked while sitting down next to her.

"Honestly? Just how I ended up here." She turned to look at him, his hair was all messed up like he had just woken up. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" Glitter asked.

"Nope," he yawned. "I sometimes get up early for some alone time."

"I understand that."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, Glitter…"

"Yes?"

"Are we going to talk about what happened?" Sandman wasn't looking at Glitter; instead, he was looking out over the desert.

"Yeah, we should probably talk about that kiss, huh?" Glitter could feel her face getting warm.

After Glitter and Lux made their pact not to get swept up in any romance and rejoined the group, Novocaine ran over to the car and pulled out a bottle of something dark and potent. 

"Listen, Glitter, I feel bad about how things went last night," he started as he sat down next to her. "Wanna drink and put the past behind us?"

Glitter's eyes lit up at the sight of the bottle. It had been a long time since she had a drink and was ready to loosen up a bit. They cracked the bottle open and set about deciding the rules of their drinking game.

While the bottle was passed around for the group, Novocaine and Glitter did the most drinking, and she was sufficiently sloshed when she went inside to take a break. That's when she spotted Sandman. He was sitting alone in one of the booths, and she decided to join him, only she didn't sit across from him, she decided to sit next to him.

"What are you doing?" Sandman asked, confused.

"Well, I've been drinking, and I just needed to tell you something," Glitter giggled.

Sandman slid further back in the booth, "Okay?"

"Well, even though I made a promise to Lux, I don't think I can keep the promise."

Sandman was just staring at her with a very confused look on his face.

Glitter sighed. "Lux and I promised each other that we would try and keep our feelings in check while we were with you guys. We need to keep a focus on outrunning BLI," Glitter put her face in her hands as Sandman touched her shoulder.

"Glitter… what's wrong?"

"I don't hate your face. I think it's a very nice face to look at," she mumbled, and she could hear Sandman laughing.

"Hey, look at me," he said while laughing and trying to pull Glitter's hands away from her face.

"Nooo," Glitter started to laugh.

"If it makes you feel better," Sandman had leaned close to Glitter's ear, "I don't hate your face either. It's incredibly nice to look at."

Glitter slowly turned to face Sandman, "What are...." Before she could finish, Sandman had grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss.

Glitter couldn't help but notice how soft Sandman's lips were, how rough his hands were, and how he vaguely smelled of vanilla mixed with something else. Every thought Glitter had about moving, Sandman seem to already know and was waiting for it. As the kiss got deeper and hands started to explore each other, Glitter pulled back breathless.

"We should stop…"

"Yea, before we get caught," Sandman agreed. "Or we do something more."

Glitter could feel tears started to fall down her face as she got up. 

"Glitter....please tell me what's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No… you didn't… that was wonderful, but I don't think we should've done that," Glitter started to back away and went to find a place to hide and cry.

Sandman sighed, "Glitter, will you tell me why you ran away" Glitter could see out of the corner of her eye that he was playing with his hands like he was nervous.

"I-" Glitter started, "I broke the promise that Lux and I made. I let her down." 

"I don't understand… how could you let her down by kissing me?"

Glitter sighed, "Our mission is to outrun BLI, and there's no time for any kind of romance that could make us lose our focus."

Sandman reached over and grabbed Glitter's hand, "Sometimes losing focus is okay. Everyone deserves some fun once in a while."

"Losing focus is how people get hurt," Glitter said while giving Sandman a sad smile.

Sandman placed a kiss on Glitter's forehead. "With this many people around, I think it'll be okay for us to lose focus for a bit," Sandman smiled at her. "How about this, when it's just us we can lose focus for five minutes, then go back to the mission."

"Sandman… I don't-" Glitter started to interrupt.            

"Let me finish." Sandman smiled. "However, when everyone else is around, we keep our focus, and we keep our distance from each other. We don't need the others to find out about us unless we want them to know."

Glitter couldn't help but laugh, "You expect this plan to work?"

"Absolutely not." Sandman wrapped his arms around Glitter, "but I'm willing to give this a shot if you are."

"Sounds like a deal," Glitter snuggled against Sandman.

"Good, let's sit here for a few more minutes then we should head back inside. I think the others will start waking up soon."

[hercleverboy]

Paint White Roses Red

masterlist

part one : down the rabbit hole 

part three: off with her head

Asylum AU

PAIRING: Jefferson x reader

WARNINGS: Swearing, over all angst, themes of violence. 

PART TWO: PAINT WHITE ROSES RED

She’d been sitting in her room, now on the last few chapters of her book, absentmindedly humming to a made up tune when a knock sounded through the room. Before she could answer, it was thrown open, and her guard told her that she was wanted by Nurse Harlow. Y/N knew exactly what that meant. It was a simple concept, Good behaviour would be rewarded and bad would result in punishment, but Y/N couldn’t help but push the mark a little, though she knew the pain she’d have to withstand as a consequence. In all honestly, she did it purposefully, knowing full well of the result. She felt very little these days, mostly letting her mind get away from her. The pain, whilst excruciating, allowed her to at least feel something. She knew where the room was, it was down in the lowest floor of the hospital, though that did nothing to mask the horrifying screams that often came from it. She had to be escorted to the room, because that’s what Harlow demanded it be done. Y/N wasn’t sure why, though she was never really told much anyway. As she waited outside the room with the large white door, she noticed how a musty smell hung in the air of the hollow hallways, and her mind drifted back to the man she’d met earlier that day. Was it so crazy to believe in such a theory? Perhaps, but she’d decided that she’d play along just as an excuse to be able to speak to the man who’d made her laugh, and completely captivated her. She couldn’t help but think that he was impeccably handsome, and the fact that some people thought he was insane wouldn’t change the fact that she’d continue to get to know him. They called her crazy too, so she supposed there wasn’t much difference between them. She’s broken by her thoughts as the large white doors swing open. There, with a twisted smirk on her red painted lips, stands Nurse Harlow.

“Miss Y/L/N. Please, come in.” She steps back to allow Y/N to enter, and Y/N sits in the familiar metal chair that sits in the centre of the room. She knows the procedure by now. She would sit down and Harlow would probably mock her about something or other, attempting to belittle her, though it never really effected Y/N. Then her hands would be cuffed to the chair, and the metal reinforcements would latch onto the sides of her head and she’d be given something to bite down on. The dial controlling the amount of bolts of electricity being sent to her brain would be cranked up, not enough to emit long lasting damage, but enough to cause unimaginable pain. And Harlow would laugh as it happened , watching almost happily as the juice hit Y/N’s brain, her screams filling the air. She must get some kind of sick kick out of it, Y/N thought.

Nurse Harlow looks down at the clipboard in front of her, as other nurses strap Y/N’s hands down. She tuts, shaking her finger at Y/N disapprovingly. “Swearing, again, Y/N? You should know not to use such foul words,” She cackled. “But I suppose, with all those voices trapped in that small head of yours, you just can’t help yourself.”

It was Y/N’s turn to laugh now, as for the first time in a while, she really took in Nurse Harlow’s appearance. She was of a small frame, though her head appeared to be quite out of proportion with her shoulders. Her head was just abnormally large. Her thin, red and wispy hair looked like straw, and a cyan blue colour eyeshadow sat on her eyelids, which had been applied terribly. She giggled, and Nurse Harlow scowled.

“Why are you- what’s so funny?” She demanded, and Y/N took a deep breath from her giggles.

“You— You really are The Queen Of Hearts, aren’t you?” She giggled again, at how she really did resemble the fairy tale character.

“Shut up– Shut up!” The nurse yelled, and Y/N’s laughter slowly died down when a harsh slap sounded through the room, and Y/N could feel her cheek burning from the contact. That was going to leave a mark. “It would appear, Y/N, that you’ve been spending too much time with Jefferson. He was here earlier too, and I suspect he’ll be back soon. If he continues to spit such ridiculous theories..” She trails off, and Y/N sneered at her. “Dear Y/N, It would seem his theories have corrupted you.” The Nurse snarled, waving for her assistant to come. The assistant places something for Y/N to bite down on in her mouth as the metal clamped around her skull. And then the juice started flowing.

Stumbling down the hallway, she’s guided by a rough hand on her arm that pulls her around each winding corner. Her guard allows her to steady herself against him as he speaks. “Would you like to go down to the free time room, Y/N?” His voice gets lost amongst others inside her head, though she manages to nod her head and allows him to drag her faint and hazy body through to the large room. He places her down onto the chair and leaves her to her own mind.

‘What’re you doing Y/N? Hurting yourself just to feel something? You’re psychotic.’

“No, no. I’m fine.” She grips her hair in her hands, holding her head.

‘Perhaps that’s why you’ll believe that madman’s ramblings. So you’ll find an excuse for your pathetic existence-?’

‘And developing silly feelings for him? Do you believe he could ever want you?”

“Please. No more.” She whispers to herself, lost inside her own head. She calms herself down eventually, and the voices get drowned out, leaving as well. She looks up from her seat, to see the hatter himself sitting in the chair he’d now deemed as his, across from her.

“Does that happen a lot?” He asks, as he twiddles his thumbs.

“What?” She asks, her once erratic breathing finally returning to a normal pace.

“The voices. What do they say?” He seems genuinely interested, and she finds it odd, though she replies hesitantly.

“It’s mostly just self-degrading thoughts. They tell me what I don’t want to hear.” She mumbled, leaning back in her chair, resting her heavy head on her hand. He opens his mouth to speak, but she decided to change the subject. “So tell me, Hatter. How’ve you been?”

“Well, Dear Alice,” He sounds sarcastic, though serious when he refers to Y/N as Alice. “I’ve figured out something else.” He smirks, and Y/N raises a an eyebrow.

“Oh? Do tell.” She asks, giggling a little, once again intrigued. Without looking, he points a sturdy finger to the left of him, and Y/N follows it, and finds herself looking at a young boy. He must only be around the age of 15, sitting alone, facing the wall. There’s nothing distinctly wrong with him, nothing that she could instantly pinpoint. As she’s about to ask why Jefferson pointed towards him, the kid turns around, and that’s when Y/N eyes land on his face. A bloody smile has been carved into his cheeks, from the corner of his lips to his ear, leaving the flesh rather jagged as it attempted to heal itself. She wasn’t shocked, there were many people who came here with problems of self mutilation. She looked back at Jefferson, and urged him to continue.

“The kids name is Tom. Really freaky guy, and that’s coming from me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “He’s supposed to of done that to himself before murdering his mother and sister in cold blood. They caught him, and sent him straight here.” His eyes lock on Y/N’s, and his tongue darts out to wet his dry lips. “But D’ya wanna know who he really is, Doll?”

She smirked, recognising that he wanted her to answer. “With a smile like that? I’d bet he’s the Cheshire Cat. Does he speak in riddles too?” Her tone was slightly mocking, though knew how serious it was to him.

“Don’t mock me, Dear.” He smirked too, his signature look, “But yes, he is The Cheshire Cat indeed. You’re getting rather good at this.”

“Yeah, Well.” She tilted her head to the side as she spoke the next question. “Did you get called to visit Harlow today?”

He nodded, his demeanour suddenly changing. “I really hate that woman, with a passion. The Queen was always cruel, but I never—“ He stopped mid sentence as he noticed the angry red mark on her cheek, that he really hadn’t noticed until now. He reached forward in his seat, his fingertips gently touching the marks. “She— She hurt you?”

Y/N nodded, and watched as his teeth clenched.

“How dare she lay her hands on you. I’ll fucking kill her, I swear I’ll-“ He seethed, but was cut off by Y/N placing her own hand over his. He was very protective over her, perhaps because of how he believed she was his Alice.

“I’m fine, Jefferson. Really.” She held his hand comfortingly, and he nodded, though he was still furious.

“I know, love. I’m sorry. It’s just you’re mine— my Alice— and I can’t let anything hurt you.”

Over the next few weeks, Y/N and Jefferson became practically inseparable. Whenever he got the chance, he’d sit with his beautiful Alice and speak with her, ask her how she was. Every free-time they had resulted in fits of laughter and loving touches. She had undoubtedly fallen in love with him, and he with her, though he’d repeatedly claim that she —Alice — had loved him all those years ago when they’d been back in Wonderland together. And though Y/N didn’t remember the life he claimed they’d lived together, she merely thought of it as a privilege. She felt privileged to have been able to fall in love with him all over again. The pair loved each other as much as they could in the hospital where if they got too hand-sy for the guards liking, they’d be separated for the day. Sometimes, Jefferson would manage to escape from his room, running up the staircase to her room, where she’d be able to hear him calling for her outside as he was dragged away again, yelling that he loved her as she giggled. He’d do it a thousand times and face Nurse Harlow’s punishments if it meant he could hear her melodic laugh. The pair where a nuisance to the hospital staff, to put it simply.

One evening, they sat in the free time room, Y/N laughing at some silly joke Jefferson had made, holding one another’s hands. That’s as much as the pair where allowed to touch, though that never stopped Jefferson from attempting to steal a kiss before being pulled away by the staff, unhappy that he still hadn’t kissed you. He promised himself he would one day.

“Jefferson?” Y/N asked, and he looked at her.

“Yes, Doll?”

“Can you tell me about our lives together, before the uh— the curse?” She sounded silly, she knew she did. But to him, oh, to him it meant the world. It meant everything that she wanted to know of their lives together.

And so he explained. How she’d fallen down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. Confused and scared, he’d offered to help her, just a lonely Hatter looking for company. He told of how he’d fallen in love with her. How she returned his feelings, and decided that she’d stay in Wonderland with him. He’d usually be elsewhere during the day, tailoring clothes for others to pass his time whilst you awaited his return.

“And one day, well, one day you weren’t there when I came back.” He sighed. “I searched everywhere for you, I—I thought you’d left me.” He looked down, away from Y/N.

“What happened?” She asked, her voice small.

“Someone from the village told me That they’d caught word that you’d lost your way in the forest and had ended up in the Queens castle gardens. Her men had caught you, brought you to her, but you’d managed to escape.” He looked up, an almost proud smile on his face as She laughed, moving onto her next question

“And Why do you always wear that scarf around your neck?” She asked, suddenly finding that she’d never actually seen him without it. She’d seen him without his hat a handful of times, though he was extremely protective of it, but never without his scarf.

He seemed hesitant, though he supposed she’d see why eventually. Letting go of her hand, he unwrapped the scarf from his neck, letting it fall onto his lap with a smile.

She didn’t react how he’d expected her to. She hadn’t yelped and backed away, nor had she called him hideous and left him. Instead, She reached her hand up to gently trace the scar that wrapped itself around his neck.

“Where’s this from?” She asked, eyes searching his.

“The Queen Herself. Cut off my head back in Wonderland.” He said quietly, staring off into the distance, seemingly in a sort of trance. “She wanted information on you, To know your background and all I knew about you after you’d escaped her men, when you painted the white roses in her garden red, Alice. And I couldn’t— I wouldn’t — I would never put you in harms way,” he looked at Y/N, and tears began to form at the edge of his eyes.

“Hey, Hey. Jefferson. It’s okay. We’re okay.” She attempts to console him, but her attempts fail, and he stands up, beginning to nervously pace the area that their two chairs sat in. He was mumbling the same words over and over again, though they were so quiet, Y/N couldn’t comprehend them.

He giggled, which soon turned into almost animalistic laughter, as he doubled over, howling in his chuckles. This caught the attention of the guards in the room, who moved to restrain him. He thrashed around in their arms, absolutely erratic, attempting to leave their harsh grasp, still cackling as he looked at Y/N. Though Y/N wasn’t afraid, and she watched, rather amused by his outburst. One of the guards stabbed a needle into Jefferson’s arm, and as the sedatives began kicking in, he heaved one last chuckle, and spoke once more. This time, Y/N heard it loud and clear. The same sentence, repeated, over and over.

“Off with his head.”

[adulting-with-autism]

Yippee! It’s episode three!

@izzyisahufflepuff @firesidoni @yesharrypotterlover123blr

Transcript under cut:

Welcome to AWA. Today’s episode is going to be slightly different because Liz is ill so I’ll be handling your questions solo. Hopefully I’ll do okay.

izzyisahufflepuff said:

“I just saw your tips for toothbrushing, and though they're very helpful, can you offer some tips as to how I can stop forgetting to/coming up with excuses not to brush my teeth? please and thank you”

Now what I generally recommend is something like habitica or similar apps that sort of provide little incentives in a game like structure. Wouldn’t say gamify I hate that word an irrational amount. But that’s something that’s worked for me in the past. Or something like writing down a little schedule for yourself could work quite well. That’s about as much as I’ve got for that one really. Just try and establish a routine through an app or a more old fashioned method. But whatever you do, try to go a couple of days in a row of doing a thing and you should start to adjust hopefully.

Next Question: firesidoni says

“I generally have a terrible time making out what people are saying when there's much background noise - I have a hard time turning the noise into words. Is this (potentially) an autism thing, or just a me thing?”

It’s definitely not a you thing. That’s something where I’ll definitely have a problem hearing people if there’s a lot going on. I tend to withdraw and things like that ‘cause it can be hard to pick out one particular set of sounds and interpret them so you’re not alone there. As for dealing with it I don’t have an answer for you there, I just avoid those situations where I can.

yesharrypotterlover123blr said

“Hi I'm autistic. I try following blogs and debating people, but I wind up offending people accidently. I don't feel comfortable saying it's autism, because it might not be (as I'm very sheltered and privileged/rich/white), + it sounds like an excuse (regardless of the situation in question) but I'm sick of seeing privileged neurotypicals get the benefit of the doubt just for being tactful. Any advice?”

Ok, for not offending people I guess one thing that really helps is just well sometimes I’ll go “right I won’t discuss this issue” if it’s sort of an emotive topic. One thing that really can cause problems, I think this came up in a previous episode, is when you’re interested in an abstract debate on an issue. A lot of people can get this, neurotypicals as well. People like looking at issues in the abstract and going about it in a thought experiment sort of way when the person they’re trying to have the conversation with is saying “this happened to me, this is an experience I had”.

The question is: is this a person who’s talking about – if you look at someone’s blog and they’re talking about had or have on a regular or semi-regular basis. I might post, I don’t know, money’s really tight or something like that, or alternatively on familiar ground someone might talk about sensory issues. You wouldn’t want, I’m sure, lots of us post about that kind of thing but you wouldn’t want somebody replying to that saying let’s start a long proper debate about how you feel. So that’s sometimes how trying to debate people comes across I think.

Because sometimes the best response isn’t a debate. It’s not necessarily what you want, it seems you like debating, but what’s sometimes best is saying “that sucks” rather than saying “but does it happen like that” or “is your experience really valid”. That can just, I think, get in the way. That means you’re not going to get a good faith debate because you could maybe say on a particular issue I’m not sure that…

There’s a difference between disagreeing on a solution for a societal problem, which is fine it happens every day it’s perfectly healthy, and disagreeing that something is a problem in the first place. It’s quite possible and healthy to have a discussion about the former, “right you know, this is an issue how do we get past it” there aren’t always cut and dried answers to these questions.

The trick is at least start out saying “that sucks how can things get better” rather than “did this really happen, was this an issue, was that person…” I don’t know, running dry on examples but I think maybe do something like put up on your blog, I don’t know if you have already, something about “I like debating” and maybe post an invitation, put a post up on your blog or add a little line on your profile “I’m open for a proper theoretical debate, theoretical conversation”

I think there’s impassioned conversations about social justice and there’s debates about these things and there’s room for both, but you’ve got to set parameters for a debate. Like in schools and colleges debate clubs don’t just spring up. They’ve got to be formalised. You say we’ll set up here, go by these rules, and not make things too personal, that’s great that’s fine but a real problem lies when people take that kind of debate club mentality, that debate club ethos and expect it to apply in every situation.

It doesn’t sound like you’re falling into that trap you want to engage people in a respectful way, you’re trying to work out how to do that so kudos to you. The main thing is you’ve got to set the parameters. Say “this is a call for debate so get in my inbox, comment on my post and we can start that conversation”. I think that could happen. Might not be that successful but you’ve got a better shot with that because sometimes you might end up derailing a more personal subjective conversation about social justice and things like that with a demand for an entirely different kind of conversation.

It’s how, I think, things can get out of hand it’s two very different styles of discussing issues and I guess that’s what you’ve got to be really clear on. You can always say “sorry I was looking at it in an abstract kind of way, I wasn’t trying to minimise what you’re going through or the issue”. You can always say “sorry I’m looking at it a bit too abstract you guys carry on”, or alternatively try to look at it from the other person’s pov. How you’d feel if somebody tried to put an abstract spin on something personal to you. I’ve started rambling so that’s as much as I’ve got on that I think.

There is a long question on here. It’s a three parter and it sounds kind of thorny so I’m probably going to be spending the rest of the episode responding to this and working out what to say.

“Hello guys, I was wondering how you feel about polyamory. As a queer autistic boy in a big group of friends (including my partner) who are all allistic nb, queer, and polyamorous (no one’s dating each other, just friends), I feel very left out in a way, because my brain is incredibly hierarchical. I find that I can only have one (1!!!) best friend at a time, and I can only love ONE person (i.e my partner). How can I unlearn this hierarchal thinking? It feels absolutely impossible

but I hate feeling left out (a big source of anxiety for me). People often (my friends and partner included) seem to make polyamory seem like a more Moral alternative, and that monogamy, on the other hand is a Conscious Choice one has to be Determined to make? This feels alien and a bit upsetting to me. And even though my partner says that just because you love 1 person doesn't mean you love someone else more, you can love equally, but this concept I just cannot grasp.

It's as hard to me to understand, as it is for humans in general to imagine colours we've never seen. It's impossible. But I feel kinda guilty and immoral, as if I'm not as emotionally developed as them or something, and as if I'm "possessive" because I can't handle my partner dating someone else than me WHILE they're dating me? My partner isn't actively polyamorous when they’re with me ‘cause they know it'd upset me but still... I don’t wanna be the autie weirdo.. I don’t know what to do”

And breathe. Right, that sounds like a fraught sitch. Thing is I know lots of my friends who are poly and many of the things you’ve mentioned, and I think that frankly I’m sure Liz would back me up on this, acting all as if it’s a better choice is just daft. It’s plain daft is what it is. Looking at alternative forms of relationships to monogamy is really interesting. It works really well for some people but not for others. Some people have, you can have vastly different levels of comfort, different thresholds for jealousy without being a controlling person, without being a bad or insecure person. It’s okay that you feel that there’s one person you want to be with and you don’t want to date anyone else or have your partner date anyone else.

It’s fine. And that could be the way you feel for the rest of your life or you could change your mind, but whatever feels right in that relationship is the right call. There’s no higher or better form of a relationship and anybody who says otherwise is leading you astray I think. I think that there’s a good chance with a lot of people who wouldn’t be comfortable being polyamorous and going for it anyway I feel like there’s, if you feel you’d get possessive, then simply trying to switch to a different form of relationship wouldn’t make it go away, it might just manifest in a different way. It doesn’t sound like you’re being a bad or possessive person at all.

Lots of people have a small amount of people they’re close to in friendship and romance. Lots of people have one partner and one best friend. That’s a really common thing and sometimes people can be a bit elitist about it and a bit, “oh I’m doing a different thing I’m standing out”. It could be that they’re not trying to say the form of their relationship is an inherently moral choice, might just be it’s the right thing for them. There’s a point halfway through about talking about monogamy as a conscious choice. They’re both conscious choices. Choosing to remain with one person choosing to be with multiple people, that’s a conscious choice. But choosing something that’s different to the mainstream isn’t necessarily a better thing nor a worse thing. The only way to make that kind of decision is based around your emotional well-being and your partner’s emotional well-being.

That’s the only thing that really matters there. Tis important to just do what makes you happy. There’s no more right or wrong answer than that. It sounds like you’re someone who’d be much more comfortable being monogamous. It sounds like you wouldn’t be happy with that, it would make you feel less happy in the relationship and even if you feel like you said to your partner “alright let’s try a different tac”, if you’re just doing that to make them happy and you’re uncomfortable with it, chances are they’d notice your discomfort and that would have a knock on effect.

I feel like if you think it’s a thing you can handle or go for, and would be genuinely interested in it then go for it, but going down that path because of what sounds like peer pressure is a really bad way to go I think. It’s got to be about what’s right for you what’s right for your partner and I don’t think it’s necessarily autism at the root of it. It may have something to do with it. But you don’t have to unlearn any thinking.

You don’t have to change. The thing is if it is down to disability then anybody expecting you to change a part of yourself change a part of your thinking is being really gross I think. That’s plain weird. Be yourself, there’s no better person to be. There’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing less moral about you. You’re trying to do what’s right for your emotional well-being. It doesn’t sound like you’re judging others, it doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything negative towards anyone.

You keep on going the way you’re going. It might be a good idea to talk to your friends about how they may come across and how it feels like they’re pushing it as a superior thing. I guess a lot of people fall into monogamy by default but you’re someone who knows the options there, knows the choices they’ve got and you seem to know what makes you feel comfortable. There’s a point to make that people default to monogamy but for some people it seems like you included, it seems like the right way to go.

That’s the last question in the inbox and that just about wraps up the show.

Somehow I’ve manage to talk to about as long as our regular show just on my lonesome. I was tempted to fill in for Liz by occasionally doing an impression but I think they’d probably end up listening and I’m not sure they’d appreciate it. So it’s tarrah for now until next time dear listeners.

That was Adulting with Autism, a very Nick centric special.

Take care.

[just-jordie-things]

Valentine’s Special - Stiles Stilinski

Second Grade

You eagerly sat down at your table in Ms DeCann’s classroom, your bag of valentines in front of you.

“Scotty Scotty look!” You said to your best friend, wanting him to watch as you spilled your goodies over the tabletop.  Scott stared in awe at how much more candy you got this year.

“Woah!”

“I know right!” You giggled, and handed over the candies you knew he liked best.

“You got a lot!” Stiles said from across from you.  You eagerly nodded, clapping your hands and began to give him his favorite chocolates.  “But wait, you love KitKats” Stiles said, pushing the pile back to your side of the table.

“That’s okay, you like them more than me” You said sweetly.

“Wow! y/n got a big pretty one!” You turned, seeing Lydia Martin pointing at the big red construction paper card.  A pink heart was cut out, and neatly pasted to the front.  Your name written in the neatest cursive you’ve ever seen for an eight year old.  Your eyes were wide, a small smile of affection on your face as you opened it up.  Inside one half was covered in hearts drawn in pink and red crayon, and on the other half, was written: 

I have a really big crush on you and i think you’re really pretty.

You checked all over the card, in search of a name, a signature, but there was none.  

“Well? Who’s it from?” Lydia asked, her small hands on her hips.  Your face fell, a slight frown tugging on your lips, as you whispered.

“I dunno”

10 years later

You were at your locker, putting books back in your shelves with a slight yawn.  Sometimes you wondered why school had to start so early in the day.  You were grabbing onto your Economics textbook when hands came over and blocked your view.

“Guess who?” You heard Stiles say, and you rolled your hidden eyes.

“Hmm... Kira?” You asked, feeling your fingers over where his hands eres.

“Nope, try again and you could still get the prize”

“Ooh what’s the prize?” You asked.

“Ah ah, gotta guess correctly” He scolded.  You giggled.

“Alright Stiles, I know it’s you” You said, turning around and pulling his hand from your face.

“Hey Scotty” You said, seeing your other best friend was there as well.

You and your boys had only grown closer since elementary school.  Through the death of Mrs Stilinski, the first school dances, Stiles falling in love with Lydia, difficult tests, Mr Harris, and not to mention, Scott becoming a werewolf.  The list went on.  But loosing Stiles to the Ghost Riders was probably the worst thing you’d gone through by far.

Without going on about the many threats of Beacon Hills, you’d still managed to stick together.  Which to this day surprised you, but you were happy nonetheless.

“So... what’s the surprise?” You asked, eagerly rocking onto the tips of your toes and smiling a big sweet smile.  Something you’d been capable of doing since you were six.

“I actually have it” Scott said, holding his hands out.  You hadn’t even noticed that he was hiding them behind his back, but your eyes were staring at the arranged pink and white flowers.

“Awe! Scotty!” You jumped and wrapped your arms around him in a hug.

“Um, actually they aren’t from me” You pulled away and looked at Stiles.  “I actually didn’t get you anything” Scott added.  You smiled at Stiles.

“You got me flowers?”

“I didn’t get anything actually” 

“Yeah I did” Stiles said sheepishly.  Your brows scrunched up together and you gave him a cute smile.

“IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY!” Scott yelled, hands on his head.  He quickly shoved the bouquet of flowers towards you.  “I DIDN’T GET ANYTHING FOR KIRA!” He yelled, running off down the hallway.  You giggled, and inspected the bouquet in your hands.

“Well, they’re beautiful” You told him honestly, and Stiles smiled like he’d just won an award.

“Yeah well happy Valentine’s Day y/n” He said, and you hugged him as soon as his arms opened up.

“Awe happy Valentine’s Day Stiles” You said back, squeezing him before letting go.  “I’ll put these in a vase and water as soon as I get home” You told him, setting the flowers safely and delicately into your locker before closing the door.  “Wanna hang out later? Kira and Scott are going out and I’m all alone and... yeah?”

“Yeah sure” Stiles smiled again.  “See you in lunch” You hugged him quickly and thanked him again before heading on your way.

“Hey Theo” You greeted your lab partner with a kind smile as you sat next to him.  Sure, a few months ago he nearly killed you.  But since saving Stiles from the Ghost Riders, he’d really rebuilt himself and proven to the pack that he was a changed man.

“Hey y/n” He smiled up at you.  “How’s your Valentine’s Day going?”

“Pretty good, and you?” You asked as you took your seat.

“Hopefully about to get better” He told you, and you raised a brow.  

“Plan on asking out a special valentine?” You asked cheekily, a slight laugh in your voice.

“Well that depends” He said, smirking a bit at you.  “Are you going to say yes?”

“STILES!” You yelled ecstatically as you ran to the lunchroom.  You and Stiles always met there a few minutes earlier, before any werewolves were in ear shot of your possible private conversations.

“y-” He didn’t even get to say your full name before you barreled into his arms, and he spun you around on instinct.  Stiles laughed, setting you on your feet and taking in your big smile.  He marveled at it for a moment.  “Alright so what’s got you so bubbly?” He asked, and you squeezed onto his hands.

“I’m going on a date tonight!” You squealed, shaking your hands between the two of you.  “With Theo!” You added, eyes crinkling with excitement.

“Th-Theo?” Stiles repeated weakly, and you nodded.  “Like.. Raeken?”You nodded again, as the rest of the pack started to file into the cafeteria, Scott and Kira taking their seats.  You could hear Scott giving a long winded apology and a promise to get her something.

“...like.. like a HUGE teddy bear..” You shook your head at him, then turned back to see Stiles was walking off.

“Hey, Stiles where are you going?” You called.

“I forgot I have something to- to make up” He lied, not turning back as he left.  

You knew he was lying too.

But you sat down slowly at the lunch table, next to Liam and across from Scott (who was still telling Kira something about rose petals and bathtubs).  But through all his rambling, he seemed to notice your saddened state.  Or maybe he got a whiff of the waves of depression rolling off you.

“y/n what’s wrong?” He asked you, and you huffed before answering.

“I got a date with Theo tonight-”

“NO!” You jumped at the alpha’s outburst, wide eyes staring at him questioningly.  “I-I mean why?”

“Because he asked me and-”

“And you want to?” Scott asked.

“What about Stiles?” Kira added.

“What about him?” You asked miserably, suddenly feeling unhappy with your decision.  All of your friends didn’t seem to care or like the idea of you going out with Theo.

“Well I mean he brought you flowers right?” Kira pondered.

“Yeah but... like it was friendly...” Scott snorted.

“Yeah.  And the card that took him five freaking hours to make you in the second grade was just friendly” He muttered.  Your head shot up, staring at Scott with a slight glare.

“Stiles made that card?” Scott met your gaze, a look of fear on his expression.

“Uh-” You saw bits of sandwich just roll out of his mouth.

“Stiles likes me?”

“Ha, took you long enough to realize it” Lydia said as she sat down at the table.  You licked your lips anxiously.

“You’re uh.. you’re not supposed to know that” Scott said nervously.

But you’d already got your things gathered and was rushing to leave the cafeteria.

“JUST DON’T TELL HIM I TOLD YOU!” Scott called frantically.  You kept running out to the halls.

You were aimlessly jogging, checking every classroom, every staircase, the boys locker room, the counselor’s.. but there was no Stiles.  So you called him.

“Hey! You’ve reached Stiles Stilinski.  I’m probably grounded right now, but leave a message and I’ll call you back when I can” 

You groaned, not bothering to leave a message, so you texted Scott and told him to call his brother.  You got a reply from him a few minutes later.

Scott: he said he went home early You: did he say anything about me? Scott: no but he seemed upset You: mad upset or sad upset? Scott: sad.

You winced, a pang of guilt and sadness coming over you.  in all honesty, you wished Stiles had told you sooner.  Because you would’ve said yes.  Probably even screamed it.  You’ve loved Stiles for longer than you could remember.  Somewhere between playing hide and seek in the wood and watching Star Wars together, feelings seemed to have developed that was just far more than any friendship.

The rest of your day was torture.  You had no way of getting out of school, no pass or quick lie to skip so you could go see Stiles.  Your foot tapped on the ground, leg bouncing rapidly, and fingers drumming against the desk top.

And when the final bell rang, you ran out to your car in the rain as quickly as you could, not even caring.  You didn’t say goodbye to anybody, you didn’t stop at your locker, you just sprinted.

The drive to Stiles’ house was quick, familiar and easy.  So maybe you were speeding a little.  Sue me.  

When you pulled into the drive, you slammed your door, and angrily stomped through the rain to the front door.  Your knuckles hurt from hitting the door so hard.

But you didn’t really expect Stiles to answer, so carefree, while you were standing in front of him, a little wet and panting heavily as you tried to form a coherent thought.

“y/n?” He gave you a puzzled look.  “I thought you had a date-”

“I do- I-I did” You stumbled, and he just looked at you.

“Okay...?”

“I’m sorry” You shook your head, backing up into the rainfall that was slowly turning into a downpour.  Normally you loved when it rained in Beacon Hills, but today it just seemed depressing and cliche.  “I’m just gonna go” You spun on your heels, going back to your car.

“Well wait y/n you don’t have to-”

“Don’t have to what Stiles?” You yelled a little over the rain, but it came out in a sigh.  You felt helpless.  “This was pointless” You shook your head again, pushing your wet hair from your face.

“Well then why’d you come!?” Stiles yelled back.  “If it was so pointless to you!?”

“God” You you sighed.  “God damn it Stiles!” You didn’t want to yell at him, but you couldn’t help it.  You were so frustrated.  “Why didn’t you just tell me you made me that valentine?” His features changed from those of annoyance to a soft surprise.  His hair hung over your forehead in soaked locks of brown, and you tried to catch your breath.

“Scott told you” He said quietly, and you were only able to nod.  “He- he told you everything?”

“I’d assume so I don’t know Stiles I didn’t ask for a back story, I didn’t ask for any of it, but here I am! Why do I have to beg you to just open up to me-!”

“Well maybe if you weren’t going on dates with fucking Theo Raeken of all people then I could take the time to tell you I love you!” He shouted, and you grew furious. (although your heart skipped a few beats at his confession)

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” You asked weakly.

“Be-because” Stiles’ voice cracked.  “You think I wanted to ruin risking everything?” He said, hands falling to his sides.  “I loved- love- you so much y/n I couldn’t- I didn’t want to tell you and then never even be friends it’s just not worth it-”

“Kiss me” You said, voice even, and calm.

“Wh-what?”

“Just do it Stilinsk-” You were cut off, as he’d quickly crossed the space between you, cupping your cheeks and crushing his lips against yours.  Though the action was rushed, the kiss itself was soft and gentle and warm.  You pushed yourself against Stiles’ soaked chest, and tangled your hands in his hair.  You kissed feverishly after that, tilting your head to the side for better access.

You didn’t part until you were both panting heavily.

“I- I love you too” You breathed.  Stiles smiled, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“Good.. because that was really hot and I’d like to do that again” You giggled and nodded, brushing your lips against his before actually kissing him.

And you did end up spending the night together like you’d originally planned.  Although there were other activities involved.

I’ll leave your sexy time part of the night up to your own imagination

i myself had a lovely valentine’s day and i hope y’all did too 

tagged: @morganschiebel  

kisses ~ jordie