#sorry i need to know. how does this work

[1tsjusty0u]

actually wait how does being the chieftain for kakariko in botw work

[fisherrprince]

Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

[centaur-dreaming]

Jean not understanding why Renee saved him until he’s leaving the house in just his helmet and gloves and breaking every speed limit on his way to do exactly the same thing for Jeremy

[stinasbaldhead]

song twins had middle school me in a CHOKEHOLD

[starrylevi]

Can you do more Levi and chunky baby.

Of course!!! ☺️ Okay so this kind of got away from me. I had trouble figuring out how to end it so if the ending seems abrupt I apologize 😅

🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣

“This little sucker’s got some weight on them.” Hange teases with a smile as she pokes the baby’s cheek.

“Sounds like you’re just weak.” Levi retorts. “Give me my child.”

Hange rolls their eyes at him. “I never said it was a bad thing, Levi.”

Levi stares at Hange for a few seconds before he relents.

“Your dad’s so easy to anger.” Hange speaks in a childlike voice to the baby. “Good luck, kid.”

“Certain people are quick to anger me.” Levi corrects them as he throws a glare their way.

Hange’s eyes light up when you walk into the room. “Ah, y/n, could you please tell your husband to lighten up?” They request as they walk over to you, your baby babbling on their hip.

You quickly look at Levi who rolls his eyes and you shake your head with a chuckle. “What did you do this time, Hange?”

“I just said your baby’s got some nice weight on them.” Hange says with a smile before looking back at the baby. “Don’t cha, ya little plum.”

You sigh with a smile, knowing your baby’s weight is a touchy subject for Levi. “I’m sure you didn’t mean in a bad way.”

Hange looks back at your husband as if to say ‘See, Levi?’

“However, you should be careful about what you say around him. I won’t be liable for any injuries.” You tell Hange with a smirk as they pass you the child.

“You gotta tell your auncle to be careful with their words or daddy will hurt them.” You take them into your arms, kissing them on the cheek, emitting a happy babble from them. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Hange says mockingly, making you giggle, before they walk out of the room.

You walk over to Levi whose eyes soften as you get closer. “Hi.” You greet him softly before you give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hey.” Levi sighs as he gently pulls you in by the waist for another kiss, minding the baby. “And hello to you too.” He gives them a gentle kiss on their forehead.

“I was thinking of taking a shower. Do you mind?” You ask him.

“Of course not, give ‘em here.”

After you leave the room, Levi puts down a clean baby blanket on the floor before he sets a colorful inflatable water mat right in front of it.

“Alright kid, it’s tummy time.” He places the baby down on their stomach with their upper half directly on top of the mat.

He watches as the baby becomes fixated on the squishy fish and ducks floating around in the mat. Their chubby hands try to grab at the fish while they try to hold themselves up. “There you go.” Levi says under his breath. The baby doesn’t typically like tummy time so you and Levi tried to think of different ideas to make it more stimulating for them. This inflatable mat is what you two decided on.

They seemed to be entertained for a few minutes before he sees their little body slowly roll themselves over so that they’re on their side. “Where do you think you’re going, hm?” Levi gently grabs the one chubby hand in the air and brings it back down so that they’re upright on their stomach again. The same thing happens a few more times. “Now you’re just being a little shit, huh.” He watches as the baby rolls over for the last time on their back. “Wonder where you got your stubbornness from.” He mutters to himself as he picks up the little chunk. The baby babbles and taps his cheeks with their little hands. “I’m sure that was fun for you, wasn’t it?” He asks them, earning a babble from them as a response. “Yeah, I bet…”

Levi grabs one of the baby snacks on the dresser before sitting down on the rocking chair you begged him to get, baby on his lap. “What am I gonna do with you?” He shakes his head as he opens the bag and feeds the baby a snack. “Should we just leave you somewhere?” Levi asks thoughtfully. As the baby chews on the snack, they look up at their father, their big sliver eyes mirroring his. The way they’re looking up makes it seem like they understood what Levi said. “No you don’t like that idea?” The baby continues to stare at him, making Levi let out a chuckle before he feeds them another snack. “Love you bud.”

[nyxi-pixie]

actually incredibly funny to me that ranpos entire thing centres on how his intelligence is not because of an ability or any other great thing, its just him. hes entirely, completely, inarguably human. and Yet, when it comes to dazai, so many people are Desperate that there just Has to be another explanation. his intelligence cant just be that hes unusual, no it must be a marker of separation, of difference so great it disallows the reality of his humanity.

[painom]

Hello! Can I just say that I really appreciate you doing this? I've always been a big fan of your analyses and your ability to get to the root of the characters. Thank you for continuing to let us read your wonderful thoughts and stories.

On your old blog, you discussed your headcannons for Lyney, one being his tendency to forget things like where he put his wallet because him and his mind are very busy. Unfortunately, I didn't save the post (my biggest regret ahhhhh!) and I would love to read your analysis once more. If it's okay with you, could you go over your headcannons for Lyney again? The old, the new, whatever's on your mind and whatever you're willing to share. Thank you so much!

Thank you for the kind ask, anon! Here you go!

New Lyney Headcanons

Self-focused - Though he never seems like it, those that know Lyney well know that he’s often running low on sleep. And really, he has no one to blame but himself. During the day he’s often distracted with magic shows, helping people, little tasks around the hotel, running missions for Father, and much more. And at night? He can often be found alone in his room planning new tricks, arranging missions for his siblings, studying to become the next “king” of the House, and things of the sort. If Lynette and Freminet didn’t keep an eye on him, no doubt he would stay up the whole night if given the chance! Those two welcome all the help they can get. 

Relationship-focused - When it comes to his relationship with you, Lyney never lies. You know he would never do that to you. And sometimes, the knowledge almost lulls you into a false sense of security. Yet you know better. You’re smarter than that. Where Lyney doesn’t lie, he omits. Half-truths so easily fall from his mouth as drops of rain from the sky. Your comments of concern are often brushed off and your questions redirected. As much as you try, you know the truth. He doesn’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to shoulder his burdens with him. 

old lyney headcanons below!

Would Lyney be honest with you?

With his outgoing and fun personality, it oftentimes is easy to get caught within his flow. Lyney is the charming sort, after all, that one may very well forget that he is subject to the same struggles as the rest. Get to know him well enough, though, and you will quickly realize that this is not a fact he wishes others to know. More than a desire, he needs to be seen as someone in control, as someone without weakness. That’s his role as the big brother. And if that means lying, avoiding, and omitting the truth to accomplish it, then an accomplished performer like himself will do what he must. 

Does Lyney prefer to pursue or be pursued?

With a penchant for flair and dramatics, it’s clear to see Lyney prefers to pursue the people he’s interested in. Really, it’s one of the things he goes all out. With a trick up his sleeve, he won’t hesitate to dazzle you with flowers pulled from nowhere and fireworks from his tophat. He wants you to be enchanted. He wants you to be impressed! You are, aren’t you? You like it, don’t you? So focused on charming you that he often loses sight of much else. Fun fact, should you attempt to turn the tables, however, you can expect his mask of self-confidence to fall to reveal a rather flustered expression beneath. 

Headcanons

Self-focused - If there’s one thing that’s true about Lyney, it is that he is a very busy person. As a person with multiple masks and roles, his thoughts are often preoccupied with House missions, performances, new tricks, and things of the like. So, much to the dismay of others, it’s easy for things to become buried under the multitude of other tasks he needs to take care of. How often the simple things become forgotten—where he last left his wallet, tea time with his siblings, the sale on storybooks at the bookstore. During those times, he really can’t help but appreciate his siblings and their ability to keep him on track. Really, he doesn’t know what he’d do without them!

Relationship-focused - It doesn’t hit you at first, but it doesn’t take you very long to notice how hard Lyney tries for your relationship. Normally this would be a good thing, but it is different with Lyney. Every day he tries to charm you. Every day he attempts to enchant you. You tell him he doesn’t need to try so hard, but that only seems to light a fire beneath him to do even more. You see it in his eyes. He needs to know you are still in awe of him, that you like him as much as he does you. And then it sinks in, doesn’t it? He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your feelings for him. He’ll never show his true face to you.

old tags for this post: #okay let’s talk lyney for a bit i think the biggest thing to know about lyney is that at his core he is an insecure person insecure and anxious #imo he’s extremely attached to his title of ‘big brother’ that he needs to fulfill the duties if such he needs to protect his siblings and be a person others can rely on #this belief is so strong that he refuses to rely on arlecchino for help and snaps at freminet for trying to get him to open up #he really cares about the way he’s perceived #remember when the traveler found out he’s part of the fatui and he spends his time bending over backwards to try to get them to trust him ‘like me! like me! please. i’m trustworthy i’ll never lie to you please!!’ #honestly imo that’s just one if his faults like lyney is unstable #idk what possessed arlecchino to make him her successor like he’d crack under pressure #lynette is a way better option #but anyway bc of these things he would not trust his partner in a relationship #he wouldn’t rely on them he’d never feel secure which would prompt him to keep trying too hard to ensure he’s still the person he thinks you fell in love with #the most important thing to remember with lyney is that he is a performer and the face he shows to the world is essentially a mask

What’s Lyney’s breaking point in a relationship?

It’s hard to imagine, really. With how much Lyney may seem in love, the idea there’s a point a relationship would be too much for him is hard to believe. But when you really think about it, his breaking point is simple. As strong as his feelings may be for you, his devotion to his family and its cause outweighs everything else. Should your relationship with him ever reach a time where it encroaches upon that which is the most precious to him, then there’s nothing more he can do than let you go.

old tags for this post: #i think the key thing to take in here is that lyney cannot function without his family he is extremely reliant upon them to the extent that he will become unstable without them #just look at the archon quest when wriothesley captured his siblings any and all logic completely went out the window #lyney is an anxious insecure mess and the only thing that holds him together is playing the role he has to as big brother #if your relationship with him ever reaches the point that you transcend into being counted as his family.... he will have no breaking point #the breaking point will be his mind or body. whichever breaks first

[ganondoodle]

got this comment on my answer to the anon asking me why i hate totk:

" @comentter

I feel all of this so much, especially the not just lack of connective tissue, but the active dismissal of any connection to BotW, let alone any past Zelda games. That Ganondorf was just a name nothing more... I've only recently been able to enjoy BotW stuff again. I have a question though. Can you elaborate about doubling down on the flaws of BotW (or point me to a post where you talked about this?) I've seen a lot of criticism of the game, but never this specifically"

(seperate post bc i didnt want to add to an already longer post and i will keep it "short" bc i HAVE talked about it before but idk how the hell to find it either lmao)

what i broadly called 'flaws' were pretty much all things that were critized about botw and/or were lacking in general that i do not believe totk fixed at all, they either doubled down on it, made it just as bad, or pretended to fix it but didnt (and often made it even worse)

im just gonna give some of the biggest examples bc i want to keep it shorter and maybe you get the idea:

the dungeons (titans) in botw were too samey and the whole terminals thing werent the best puzzles, plus the very same kind of boss each time; on the plus side the little gimick of each titan was neat, their introduction great, they looked intimidating, its generally just .. very cool bc its a giant MECH and also it made sense in the story even if there were missed opportunities with the bosses -like making them be the possesed remains of the champions for exampls- BUT they still have the benefit of you knowing they are what killed your friends, theres a personal connection here- and you cannot climb them bc all shiekah stuff is not climable (so restricting you which is GOOD), and they got the bonus of all shiekah thigns as in they saw the future and the things are meant to be doable for you and since its been a hundred years theres people around that still know your friends of the past, you get your dead friends ability at teh end, a part of their spirit really

-totks dungeons .... well, they LOOK different from each other, but its just the surface really, each of them is 5 switches (that feel very artificially inserted since its supposedly race specific dungeons but those things are clearly sonau (zonai)) and none of them (or only the thunder ones? barely?) are connected to each other at all, so its terminals again, BUT they are also static (in contrast to botws moving titans), the already easy puzzles can be skipped easily (via totks horrible building shit that invalidates so much of the world it was inserted into bc it simply wasnt made for this), you can also climb walls so even more ways to cheat (in a boring way, having to do glitches to cheat is cooler), they also lack a personal connection, all these dungeons, especially the ones in the sky, appeared out of thin air really, and while thy try to make your friends and their villages in distress the tension it falls very flat- and it detracts further that they are in almost the exact same LOCATION AS IN BOTW (more repetition), you have NO connection to the nameless ancient sages or reason to care about them and the whole thing about your friends awakening as sages feels very ... well, bad, their stone ability makes little sense and it also seems to override what made the champions, your old friends, significant (who cares about champions? sages are way older and more important)- i will give them credit for the bosses beign different but ... its got less weight too, these monsters are just mosnters summoned there, they didnt kill the sages they are just there to supposedly stop you from gettign the stone which, i dont think is ever stated as the actual goal by anyone so it doesnt even make sense!! the only reason you go there is BECAUSE there are monsters threating the villages now! (also the sonau didnt have the future thing and also .. when were those things built? who cares, why are the fish in the sky WHY DO THE WATERWORKS IF- etc)

so overall, looks fixed on the surface, but its actually worse

weapons breaking! while i didnt mind alot of people did but it was essential to botws exploration drive, there were lots of cool weapons whose appearances changed fit to how far you were in the game (meanign they went from weak to stronger ones) and it makes sense they are all over the place with monsters using them etc

-totk then .. well the weapons still break, their base version are now all ugly rusted and very shitty for no sensical reason (its jsut to force you to fuse), you can fuse stuff to them, you HAVE to, bc id bet they are even more brittle than botw ones in their basic version, fusing uses up materials (which you also need for armor upgrades), often looks stupid and is a hassle to do espeically in mid fight, monsters and people also just do it even without having fuse and ........ strap fruit to their shields or sth instead of fixing their weapons bc i guess no smiths exist ever?

so appears fixed, but isnt actually, and i would argue, made worse (this is were i would for once say a more classic crafting system was THE fix but thats for the rewrite now lmao)

shrines! in botw there were mayn of them, often rather short or underwhelming, all look the same and tehre many that were jsut a fight which is a little boring but it made sense with the shiekah having them made for you in the future (also theres a bit of personality bc each has its own monk that made that puzzle for you and giving you their bit of spirit) and they were well integrated into the world (also the monks talk to you! they are still sittign there after all!)

-in totk, well, theres EVEN MORE OF THEM, EVEN SHORTER, and with totks building shit that they barely restrict at all (weirdly though you cant climb walls here either ....hmmm inconsistencyyyy) extremely easy to cheat in a boring way that feels less like you are cleverly exploiting the game and jsut that they didnt care, all look the same AGAIN, just with a different paint job from botw, they just ... came out of nowhere, their placements are like .. the same just a little to the left, at the end its a static statue of the main guy and his fridge wife every single time, they give you .. a .. light orb? the shrines purpose is very non sensical (banish monsters? literally how and were lol, also you need a rauru arm to get in? also where were they before? and uuh .. is the puzzle the security????i dont see mosnters running around with rauru arms?? nothign changes after you do them so banish evil how what??) and they are very much just .. put there, you know they werent there before, like the world easiest mod jsut moved them a little (they .. talk? to you? prerecorded? somehow?)

so the same but worse than in botw

krogs! (koroks) in botw .. were too many, i get it, it was a joke and something you werent meant to find all of (nintendo shoudl have known better tbh) and they were sth to fill the gaps, i dont like that they are what exapnds your inventory but its more forgivable since its the firrst time here

-now totk ... just did the krogs again, with the SAME purpose (instead of bringing back pouches! easy better rewards!!!) and EVEN MORE OF THEM, the backpacking ones have literally no reason to do what they are doing (i thought they were fleeing the forest but .. they arent) and are just there for you to fuck with them, thats the whole reason

so .... made worse, just doubled down and worse

the story/memories! in botw the main story takes place more in the past than the present, many didnt like that even if i too say it worked very well for botw, they were short but well made and skillfully gave you a glimpse of the past, enough to care about the chaarcters even if only a little and as its been long but not too long there are people still talking about it all or knowing you and what happened and getting them out of order didnt have any consequences sicne they were all more about the chaarcters rather than a story with lots of different beats, they all made sense as in you had to explore and find the places where they are with very little hints given if any, you had to explore and rememebr places! engage with the world!

-so totk ..... did the memories AGAIN, doubling down on that system, but also worse bc, now the memories are THE story, a LINEAR story that doesnt work out of order since its not about the characters but what is happening ... or HAS happened, they are EVEN MORE in the past than in botw, far far more even, no one knows or cares about these characters, there is no connection and even zelda doesnt feel like botw zelda at all, you can still find them all out of order though massively spoiling and confusing anyone (even if the story itself its pretty bad), also they are marked with ENOURMOUS GIGATOMANIAC glowing glyphs on the ground, you dont even need to think or find anything you just .. look. fly up and look, you dont have to engage with anything AND these memories are very ...... idk, flat, they somehow manage to tell you too much about the past (removign the mystery and sense of time/distance) and also not enough to make you care (its all just plot, clumsy plot) and with there being pretty much no connection to the current time (like with people knowing the champions in botw still etc) its just ... might as well be a random AU

so, memories and story in the past again, even moreso too, call that a double down

theres more obviosuly (like the tutorial being the same but worse, the abilities too being done so similarly isntead of bringing back main items, the clunky ASS UI that was bad in botw but still okay bc first tiem and also meant for the wii u- totk though?? worse, they made the shitty UI WORSE, quest rewards being a fucking joke, all the GRINDING totk is so much stupid GRINDING) maybe people dont realize this, mabye calling it doubling down isnt right but to me this is all the same, but even worse, instead of correcting and taking a few steps back to how it was before and see theres value in all those older games systems they did botw again, but worse, so .. doubling down on all the things that were bad and making them worse too, even if on the surface it may look "fixed", instead of correcting their parking by carefully going backwards they were still in first gear and slamming GO to hit the wall when you where literally telling them they werent in the backwards gear

so so many thigns in totk are just, botw again but worse, more shitty shrines instead of less, more krogs isntead of less, worse rewards, more grind, the shiekah tech again but worse, malice is miasma, the same but also worse (its not even a 3d model ... ), luminous stones are sonanium (zonaite), its everythign again but worse ........ (and also invalidates so much of botw, its jsut ... infuriating bc it FEELS so mean spirited, its just all beign overridden, nothing of botw matters bc look! look all that stuff came BEFORE THEM actually, and that was way more important ..... even down to the sonau designs its overriding so much of shiekah stuff, and im not even that big of a simp for shiekah stuff but this was supposed to be a botw sequel, the game with the shiekah tech?????? anyway ..)

(yes this is as short as i could make it on the spot, already spent two hours on this so sorry but i wont go over it to edit for another one dfnjknhdfjkbdfjk)

[thecryptidbard]

ALSO can we talk about Hetty’s reaction after Flower tells her “You’re a good friend”???

Think about where she was at this point last year—having also just revealed a massive secret, one that almost irrevocably ruined one of her oldest friendships. She’d admitted in Ghost Court that friends were not something she’d ever had in life—something she hasalso just reiterated moments ago to Sam and Isaac, that one of the reasons she felt so trapped and alone and without options at the end of her life was because she had no friends.

Think about how far we’ve seen her come; in season one, it’s huge growth for her that after Jay’s possession, she admits to the other ghosts that she missed them. Or season two, how in a very un-Hetty move she’s willing to swallow her pride and apologize to Nigel (even though she’s sure she isn’t in the wrong!) for the sake of saving her friendship with Isaac. Or even earlier this season, how closely she’s clinging to Alberta in so many of the episodes, because she’s so grateful she got her friend back after being so close to losing her that she doesn’t even want to be physically separated from her.

And then now, she’s just once again revealed a secret she’s kept for well over a hundred years, in order to save Flower. She’s kept this part of herself from everyone for so long, and the very second she sees that Flower is securely out of the hole, she turns her back to everyone to gather herself and then bolts.

Isaac and Sam make her see that, yes objectively she has people here for her now like she never had in life, but Flower coming in and thanking her is when she actually gets to see and experience the reality of how different her existence is now. “You’re a good friend,” she says, and it might be the first time someone has ever said that to her. And Hetty just looks up at Flower so surprised in that moment, and so heartbreakingly hopeful, because I genuinely think that until right then, she really hadn’t considered it like that before; she just knew that Flower was in trouble and that she had to help her whatever the personal cost, because not saving her wasn’t even an option.

So much of the ghosts’ relationships, especially early on, were transactional, and, especially in Hetty’s case, built around enforcing particular power dynamics: accruing a wealth of back rubs, extorting Pete’s TV time before signing Elias’s contract, or any of the countless occasions she brought up her status as ‘lady of the house’. So the fact that she makes this sacrifice that feels like a loss of power to her is in and of itself big; but Flower acknowledging that, and making sure Hetty herself sees it too, by calling her a good friend—it’s a whole different level of meaningful.

She doesn’t just thank Hetty. She makes sure that she sees what her actions mean to her. And Hetty is so taken aback by it, because Flower saying this to her and meaning it is a gift she was absolutely unprepared for; a “good friend” is not something Hetty has ever known herself to be, up until now. But she very badly wants for it to be true.

[anothermonikan]

I see a lot of sentiment within techum spaces about not understanding how tech actually works and considering tech divine or whatever and like. I really do get it's pretty intimidating, but you can learn how your machines work. In fact I think a lot of you would appreciate your objects even more than you do by learning about how they actually function. Demystify tech in your minds NOW!!!

[leverage-ot3]

okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭

bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)

but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good

some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember

he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business

one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man

he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)

they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)

not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it

and then the long goodbye job happens

hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.

so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.

and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.

not this time. not to sterling crowley

he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)

nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.

he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.

the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.

but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.

‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.

watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it

[vaguely-concerned]

shortest saddest sad short story you'll ever read:

in memoriam: 1971 mint condition buick riviera car lighter, never depressed

[inchidentally]

okay prefacing that this is only referring to a small but loud part of the community... to follow up on the thing of supposed Lily Z fangirls turning around saying how she's "better than other wags" (????) bc she's "silent and has no public communications and doesn't take up space apart from looking beautiful" (???) (bc apparently we're not even internalizing the misogyny anymore it's just right out there saying a woman should be seen not heard, publicly beautiful but only serve her man and not want attention for herself) but then after praising that she clearly does not want a load of public attention, proceed to freak the fuck out IN. ALL. CAPS. in comments sections everywhere that she appears even in the background and draw attention to a woman who's clearly does not want be in the limelight....

so yea speaking in that vein can the other incredibly obvious fake fangirls of wags please stop using AI beauty filters on these women's pictures and posting them where they can see ?? that is not Lily Z's real jaw or mouth shape, that is not Alex's real nose and that is not Lily H's cheekbones or eye shape. guess what you aren't selling the whole I'm only here for the girls claim when you make it blatantly clear you don't think they're naturally pretty enough and have to run them through digital plastic surgery and yes we can all see how blurred and weirdly smooth it all looks when you do it so I guarantee the women themselves will go 'yikes that's me but... not me'

and reminder that a woman's college degree is not a Barbie accessory nor is it a "selling point" for her boyfriend that's rly disgusting to talk about it that way !!! pls just leave a like on the original photos of wags posted by official accounts if you're unable to inadvertently demean women whenever you post about them (and yes I know a lot of ppl aren't being weird but it's getting way too comfortable in very public spaces !) and also no she doesn't believe you when you claim you hate Oscar and think he's ugly and stupid and wish she'd just... randomly walk where he is but somehow not have him present when how would that work when you never even see her if she's not with Oscar like wtffff are ppl even doing anymore can we calm down and be normal and actually respect women and not treat them like commodities wow

[averycutesalamander]

NO!! SNAKE BITE BOOTHILL I'LL FOREVER WAIT FOR YOI...... MY BELOVED

Silliness apart I 100% understand. I'll love anything you write. Can you give a taste of what ur writing right now? The 18k draft? I'm curious.....

by the way, do you think boothill would like whiskey? With 2 ice cubes?

-Snake Bite anon

edit: i wrote most of this like right when i got the ask (like two months ago i am SO sorry 💀) and meant to finish it immediately after but uhhh obviously that didnt happen. and in retrospect it is extremely funny how nervous i was to talk about this considering how bad my newest newest draft is. anyway here you go

-

oh god anon the can of worms youve just opened.. 😭 im sort of nervous talking about it but. im too obsessed with it to not finish and post it eventually so i guess i should just rip off the bandaid now.

cw pseudoincest under the cut but HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

ok so for the record this is NOT MY FAULT. i was talking with (redacted) about how sad it is that one of my favorite writers sees him as an uncle. like, it's a familial thing. and we were joking like "well that wouldnt stop me lmao am i right guys" and it was all in good fun.

and then i started. Thinking About It. and entirely against my will my brain formed a plot. and at first i was just gonna write like a drabble or something to get it out of my system but uh. well.

yeah. so. yeah. so. ok. i know this looks bad but HEAR ME OUT. also spoilers for the first uhhhhh maybe half of the fic ?? two thirds of the fic???

ok so. this initially takes place before the IPC arrival. the reader gets adopted by one of his sisters when she's 5 because she was alone in the desert. she cant talk, and by the time she can, she doesnt remember what happened, so whatever. she meets boothill (who i am presently calling ahiga because i literally could not dodge around the name for that long) when she's 7 and LET ME EMPHASIZE THAT IT IS COMPLETELY PLATONIC AT THAT POINT. 100% PLATONIC. THERE IS NO GROOMING IN THIS FIC. OR UNDERAGE. ZERO. ZIP. ZILCH.

so reader is like.. cripplingly lonely with some major attachment issues. her mama's farm is pretty far from everyone else and there aren't many kids her age in the family, so she doesn't have many connections when she's younger. and she's a quiet kid, so she doesnt get much attention from the rest of her relatives. boothill can kinda see this to some degree, and i think hes sort of acquainted with loneliness (although his is largely self-inflicted at this point) so he kinda goes out of his way to include her in stuff and be nice to her. NOT in a creepy way, just in a regular cool uncle way. he teaches her how to ride horses, gives her sweets when mama isnt looking, that kind of thing. they don't see each other all that often but it's enough that they have a pretty solid, positive relationship.

so when shes like 16 she forms a teeny tiny itty bitty crush on him. just like. a little thing. and shes VERY aware that that's fucked up and she should cut that out immediately, but the thoughts kind of linger. but like.. presumably that'll just.. iron itself out eventually. with time. it's fine.

and almost immediately after that the IPC shows up and shit goes down. she and mama get kicked off their ranch and have to go shelter with nick and graey, and in the next week or so many other relatives follow. boothill ends up dropping off his daughter (who im calling manaba in this fic for the sake of naming consistency) to join the rebellion. reader helps out with the war effort, does supply runs, that kinda thing. when the ipc finally gives the kill order, shes between towns, and since they're targeting population centers, she escapes the direct blasts and shelters in a river to avoid the ensuing wildfires.

not everyone is so lucky, obviously. no one in her family (that she knows of) survives. some shit happens, but she ends up getting picked up by a group of survivors. skipping the details, several years go by. she doesnt really make any new friends, and the loneliness sinks its teeth into her - so she relies on the past to keep her grounded. the memories of her mom feel too painful, but her memories of her uncle feel.. safer. kinder, in a way. and in the back of her head, that tiny crush starts to fester. subconsciously, she starts to feed it, because the loneliness is ripping her apart, and this weird fucked up little fantasy feels like the safest way for her to keep it at bay. it's not a conscious thing, though. she's actively disgusted and disturbed by it every time it crosses her mind. it just kind of.. stews in the background.

she starts sleeping around to sate that loneliness. "There's a void in you that you haven't managed to fill. Something about having someone's hands on you makes the ache a little quieter, a little more manageable, but not by much." it's not born out of love, or any kind of affection - just a feral sort of desperation.

she never really feels like her partners fit her. when she finally realizes that shes chasing people with features that remind her of her dead fucking uncle, she promptly declares herself a freak forever and sentences herself to celibacy until she can figure out whatever the fuck is wrong with her brain.

she ends up leaving the planet, because staying is too painful. im a little foggy on the details here, but tldr she finds a mentor and gets into the tech scene, then the hacking scene, then starts doing what she can do fuck with the ipc wherever possible, etc etc. somehow, experiencing the impossible vastness of the universe, being surrounded by a functionally infinite amount of people, feels more lonely than ever. she's just kind of adrift in the world - sending money back home to help people make end's meet, generally just trying to find a reason to live beyond fear. there's a storm of emotions brewing inside of her - the hatred and the terror and the grief. she does all she can to spite the IPC, but it never feels like enough. it never feels like it does any good.

and then, years after the massacre, she's at a bar meeting with a client, and she sees him, and he sees her. and she's thinking "holy fucking shit that's my dead uncle" and he's thinking "holy fucking shit that's my dead niece" and they reunite and stuff. very heartwarming, very sweet, lots of tears (well. from her at least. he can't partake obviously 💀) and they start catching up over drinks.

and that's when he tells her his mission - that he knows who pulled the trigger, and who was behind the slaughter of their people. and she latches onto that HARD, because now she has a specific target for her emotional turmoil instead of the vague, amorphous concept of "the company." etc etc etc they agree to team up because he could use someone to help with behind-the-scenes stuff. and also because it's really nice to have someone around from home. so they exchange contact info and stuff, yay yay yippee

so they chat more, and they drink more, and reader maaaaaybe kinda sorta drinks a little too much. more than a little, actually. more than enough that her hold on her inner monologue slips and she starts thinking about how pretty he is. and suddenly that dormant little harmless crush that she was subconsciously feeding is swinging back around with a vengeance, because now it's real, and he's here, and he's ALIVE, and god did his lips always look that soft or-

and. well. eventually she uh. she might maybe kinda sorta ask if she can kiss him. and then processes the words that just came out of her mouth and starts CRYING because what the FUCK is wrong with her. and he like.. never addresses it directly. he just calms her down and makes sure she gets back to her hotel room and fucking DIPS.

BUT THE THING IS. THE THING IS. SHE WAKES UP THE NEXT MORNING. AND DOESN'T REMEMBER DOING IT. SO NOW HE KNOWS!! BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE KNOWS!!!! AND THEY HAVE TO ACT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

so the next bit is kinda loose and im probably gonna tweak some things. but. but. they have to go on a mission together. and.

yeah. im. yeah. they have to go to a bdsm club. together. and im sure you can guess. where im going with that. theres a particular section from the club scene that has been absolutely CONSUMING ME but idk if i should share that yet jawhbdjahwdbjawbajd unless somebody asks nicely ig. but jesus christtttttttttt it makes me feel insane. this whole fic makes me feel insane. the ending makes me want to chew my hands off but we'll get there when we get there. fucking pray for me because im not seeing the gates of heaven with this one

[sirlancenotalot]

the fact that people still use the "no one would talk to a friend that way" "no one would grieve for someone like that if it was just platonic" etc arguments to prove a ship is canon is so annoying to me. yes i get it, we got queerbaited hard but where does it say that romance has to be higher than a friendship or no one said friends couldn't also be lovers or vice versa....? i normally say "popular media tropes that usually are for romance" when i talk about fiction but pulling a blanket statement like "NO ONE talks to a friend that way" is so invalidating to so much of our queer experiences. the beauty of queer friendship literally lies in the emotional fulfilment we get from our friends in a way that i don't normally see in cishet friendships for whatever reasons. so idk it's just been bothering me to see these kinds of posts every now and then. "you wouldn't do [x] for your friends" i would actually. i would sell my soul for them. i would kill for them and kill myself for them. i would do anything for my friends that i would do for a partner. the "proof" for a ship doesn't have to be by invalidating their friendship. also like aren't most of the ships so powerful when they're also each other's closest friends? do y'all not think of your partners as your best friends?

[trash-can-sam]

What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.

+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)