#sorry sparrow!five is... well

[lulunothulu]

“Migraine Induced”

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: You have a migraine and Jake’s the one who caused and clocked it.

Content: good ole Hangman charm, migraines, FLUFF

Your call-sign: Sparrow (yes I know it’s been used before but not the same universe lol)

“Sparrow!”

You wince at Hangman’s loud and obnoxious voice. You’d had a migraine for the past few hours and his loud, southern drawl wasn’t helping.

“Sparrow!” He calls again. You pinch the bridge of your nose before turning around.

“What?” You ask harshly.

“You joinin’ us tonight?” He asks, winking at you.

As much as you’d like to react to him winking at you (and god did you want to) you furrow your brows, placing pressure on your right eye before shaking your head. “I’m sorry, where?”

“Hard Deck,” Rooster says, walking toward the two of you. “We asked you about it yesterday?”

Oh fuck.

“Yeah,” you start, “I think imma have to sit this one out.”

“C’Mon,” Phoenix joins in, playfully elbowing you. “Don’t leave me here with all these boys.”

“We’re men,” Coyote corrects.

“Whatever,” Phoenix laughs. She turns to you, expectantly waiting for your response.

“Um,” you start, squeezing your eyes shut to then open them again. “Sure.”

———

Later after work, you and Phoenix are playing pool and about a beer or two into drinking. You thought it would help but of course…it didn’t. Your migraine still hadn’t passed and you were starting to squint, trying to keep the light out. So you asked Bob to get you a water, thinking that would help.

Of course the one day you need an ibuprofen, you leave it at home.

“You okay?” Bob asks from the stool he frequents.

“Never better Bobby boy.” You flash him a tight smile before groaning when Hangman approaches you and Phoenix.

“Ladies,” he says loudly. If the music in the bar was loud, Hangman made sure to be louder. “What’re we drinking?”

“I’m having beer, Sparrow’s drinking water,” Phoenix tells him.

Hangman turns his gaze to you, green eyes full of something you hadn’t seen before. Was that worry? And why did that do something to you?

“Is that so?” He asks, flashing you his famous cocky smile and shedding whatever possessed him before.

“Yeah, I’m not really in the mood to drink,” you tell him.

“Let’s change that.” Before you can begin to resist, Hangman turned to the rest of the Dagger Squad before yelling, “Let’s play a little game called ‘List Five Things’.”

Around you, Rooster, Hangman, Phoenix, and Coyote gather around in a circle. Bob, Payback, and Fanboy decided to sit this game out and are acting as the judges.

You knew the game well—list five things for whatever someone chooses. The twist to it is you have to remember what the person before you said that way, you can not only repeat what they had said—but also add on. If you end up forgetting, you have to take a shot.

“Coyote,” Hangman calls. “Start us off.”

“List five things a woman would say to you on a first date,” Coyote smiles.

“You’re handsome,” Hangman smirks across from you, winking in your direction.

“You’re handsome, you look nice,” Rooster adds.

“You’re handsome, you look nice, you have a pretty smile,” Phoenix adds.

“You’re handsome, you look nice, you have a pretty smile, yoi have something in your teeth,” you add, a fake smile directed toward Hangman.

“You’re handsome, you look nice, you have a pretty smile, you have something in your teeth, and your dance moves are killer,” Coyote ends it. 

This goes on for a while, only you and Jake drinking five shots compared to everyone else’s seven to eight. You were all pretty plastered and you knew your migraine would be ten times worse tomorrow.

“Sparrow, my dear,” Hangman smiles, taking a swig of his beer. “You’re up.”

“Name five things you can say in bed,” you randomly blurt.

“That’s tight,” Coyote laughs.

“Thats tight, where are my clothes?” Hangman smiles.

“That’s tight, where’s my clothes?, can I taste?” Rooster adds, wiggling his brows at Coyote making him howl in a laugh while simultaneously making you flinch at the loudness.

Across from you, Hangman’s brows furrow.

“That’s tight, where’s my clothes?, can I taste?…”Phoenix thinks before shouting very loudly in your ear, “GOT PROTECTION?!”

“Fuck!” You yell, grabbing your right eye and shutting both in pain.

“You lose, Y/N!” Everyone yells.

Well, everyone but Hangman.

No, he’s watching you with the same worried expression on his face. But instead of hiding it like he did before, he makes a point to walk up to you and tilt you head back for you look up at him.

“Let’s go outside,” he tells you.

“I’m fine,” you start.

“Now.”

You obey, hearing the others whoop and whistle behind you. You allow him to walk you out to the beach before sitting you down in the warm sand.

“What’s going on? You’ve been a lot more irritable today and that says a lot because normally loud noises wouldn’t bother you.” He’s squatting before you, practically begging you to rip his vocal cords out by how loud he’s talking.

“Just for once, can you please talk quieter?” You scold. “It’s bad enough you’re already loud, just…dial it down.”

He silently watches you, at least you assume because you’ve already closed your eyes again. Even though you’re fairly far away from the bar, you can still feel the pulsing in your eye every time someone inside yells.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs. “Sometimes I get over-excited and can’t help myself.”

To say you’re surprised is an understatement. Hangman had never apologized to you or anyone for anything. Not even when he almost got into a fight with Rooster that one time. Or that other time he ran into you as you ran during PT.

You squint to look at him. He’s breathtaking. The moonlight lights his handsome face and makes his green eyes look almost aquamarine. His golden skin practically glows, his hair along with it.

You were caught off guard by those thoughts. Why are feelings suddenly manifesting for him? And why do you like how it feels deep in your stomach?

“Are you seriously apologizing?” You ask.

“Don’t get used to it, sweetheart.” He smiles down at you before grunting and joining you in the sand.

You sit in comfortable silence, taking in the crashing of the waves ahead and the beautiful night sky.

“I have a migraine,” you finally tell him. Looking up at the barely starred sky. “I’ve had one since,” you look at your watch and it reads 2:35 AM. “4:15 PM yesterday.”

“That’s why you didn’t want to drink,” he states. “You didn’t want to have to nurse that and a hangover.”

“Yup,” you say, lips popping on the ‘p’.

“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he tells you.

You snort. “How?”

“Let’s go for a dip,” he smiles.

“Now how the hell is that gonna help?” You frown. “I’m not skinny dipping with you.”

“As much as I know you’d love that, no. The water’s cool.”

“Okay?” You reply, still frowning and ignoring the comment.

“The cool water to your feet will help minimize the pain in that thick ass head of yours,” he says, standing and offering you his hands.

“I do not have a thick head,” you mutter, taking his rough hands. “That’s all you, Bagman.”

“I’m just here helping you out of the goodness of my heart and you want to insult me?”

He doesn’t let go of your hand after you both remove your shoes.

In fact, he holds it even when you both start splashing in the water and again when you decide to walk down the beach, shoes in his other hand.

He stops you in your tracks when you both return to Hard Deck. You’re standing on the back deck of the bar and looking in on your colleagues and friends laughing up a storm.

“What?” You ask, a small smile creeping on your lips.

“Did the water help?” He asks, his thumb caressing the back of your hand.

You smile up at him, you never realized how much taller he was than you. Maybe a head taller? And god, he smelled so good.

“Yes, it helped a lot actually,” you tell him. “Thank you, Jake.”

“I like how your voice sounds with my name on your lips ,” he flirts.

“Are you flirting with me Seresin?” You grin.

“God, even my last band sounds good,” he rolls his eyes in pleasure.

You laugh, going on your tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “Fuck off, Bagman.”

You make to turn away but he catches your wrist and spins you around so fast, you feel like falling. Only, he catches you before planting his lips on yours.

It’s like a scene from a cheesy rom-com you and Phoenix watch. You used to think it was funny but now actually living it? You loved it.

Jake pulls away, panting before giving you the biggest smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Have you?” You ask.

He nods. Then, pulling you up and in his arms, he asks, “So did this help ease the migraine aftermath?”

You smile, reaching up to pull him in for another kiss.

“Definitely. But I think a date would settle it once and for all.”

Before he even has time to answer, you’re pushing him away softly and swaying your hips to walk into the bar.

“Fuck, I think I’m in love,” he mutters to himself.

I kinda wanna write a part two…. Their date maybe and her realizing she really likes him? Let me know 💗💗

[ohmyitsfaith]

The sunshine and the grump / Part 2

Pairing: Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sudden visitors show up on a calm day and chaos ensues. Who are they and where did they come from? But most importantly why are they here? You, your husband and his family are ready to find some answers.

Warnings: fighting, Sparrow!Ben being sparrow!Ben

Word count: 3.3k

A/n: Hi everyone, I know, it's been a while. But here is something that should have been done sooner. The second part to The sunshine and the grump. Please forgive me for this, but in this part Viktor is refered to as "Vanya" and using she/her pronouns. This is solely for the reason that this story is from the reader's point of view and she doesn't know that he's Viktor. If there's an interest in a new part, then obviously I will incorporate him coming out as Viktor. Anyway, long a/n to the side, I hope you guys will enjoy it!

“Shit” broke out of the six people standing in front of you collectively.

Ben guided you behind him gently, sheltering you from the strangers.

“Ben?”

A soft sigh is all that could be heard from the guy wearing a cowboy hat. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears and you couldn’t even guess who he was and where he came from. You never saw him before and your husband wasn’t the type to make friends so easily. So why did this man know his name? Why did he look at him as if he saw a ghost?

“Is that really you?” the biggest guy walked forward, also looking distraught and his face twisted in confusion and grief.

“And who are those weirdos,” the walmart-batman guy yelled and you followed his line of sight, “on the balcony?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in slight anger, but before you could answer at all, Reginald spoke up.

“They are the Sparrows, my children.”

You felt, more than saw Ben standing up straighter and could only imagine the rest of the Hargreeves doing the same, up on the balcony.

“I’m sorry,” the small boy spoke up after the initial shock passed through his group. “What do you mean your children? That’s not possible, old man.”

“Of course it is!” Reginald exclaimed as your sibling-in-laws joined you downstairs. “I think I’d know, wouldn’t I?”

While most of the group looked at Reginald with untrusting gazes (which you could understand, he was your father-in-law and yet you didn’t trust the man fully), the cowboy hat guy was still looking at your husband with misty eyes.

“Everybody else can see Ben, right?” he asked, which made you even more confused. Why wouldn’t they be able to see your husband?

“Cute hat, Sundance” Ben said sarcastically, still keeping you behind him. You grabbed onto his arm lightly, to keep him grounded. But that’s exactly when the man noticed you and his eyes went even wider.

“Jennifer?” he asked louder, seemingly in shock and it prompted the rest of the group to look toward you, Ben’s arm curling around you protectively.

“Do not talk to my wife, asshole” he growled.

“Oh my gosh, it’s you! You- you guys are married!” cowboy hat guy gushed.

“Okay, that is it!” Ben moved to lash out against the guy, but Marcus stopped him.

“Enough” he said in his calming voice. “Who are you and why are you in our home?”

“They call themselves the Umbrella Academy,” Reginald answered instead. “A group of scheming, perfidious malcontents, who accosted me in the fall of 1963, when I was away on business in Dallas” he explained. “Be warned,“ he added, “they claim to be my spawn.”

That caught the attention of the woman with the very stylish cloak as she stepped forward.

“Claim?!” she then turned to her brother(?) in confusion. “Five, what the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know, but it’s concerning,” the little guy, Five, sighed.

“Is he telling the truth?” Marcus spoke up, looking at the so-called Umbrella Academy.

“Well, not the part about us being perfidious-” the other woman started, just to be immediately interrupted by the cowboy-hat guy.

“No, we’re amateur-fidious, at best” he said, which just confused you and, seemingly, the rest of the Sparrows as well.

“But we are his children. This is our house” the woman confirmed.

“Yeah, yeah, we, uh… We grew up here” the big guy jumped in.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, we grew up here” Alphonso mocked the guy, which made Fei and Jayme chuckle.

“I-” Sloane started. “Kinda think we would’ve noticed you.”

You could see the moment that the big guy realized who talked and just what kind of person she was. You saw his eyes light up and a dumb smile graced his features.

“Hi. I’m Luther” he stepped forward and offered his hand.

“Monkey-brain” you whispered and Ben scoffed.

“Okay” the stylish woman walked towards you. “None of you belong here.”

“What?” you asked at the same time Fei said sarcastically: “Oh, well then! I guess we’ll just pack our bags and move out.”

“Yeah and while we’re at it, how about we also give you our jobs. Clearly, you are so good at it” Christopher garbled. “Seriously, these idiots can’t even understand the fact that we are the ones living here, imagine what kind of heroes they are.”

This caused the Sparrows to laugh and even you let out a chuckle. He had a point.

“You slay me, Chris,” Ben shook his head.

The next moment Grace arrived with a plate filled with cookies. At her legs was your chonky cat C/n. He meowed lowly and hissed at the new people before darting across the space, toward Ben and you.

“I wasn’t expecting company,” Grace sighed as you leaned down to pick up C/n. “This is the best I could do on short-” she glitched and repeated the word again, “short… short notice.”

You winced as you stood up with C/n in your arms.

“It’s okay, darling boy” you whispered and started stroking his back. “They won’t hurt you. Daddy won’t let them.”

“Mom…” you heard wallmart-batman’s wistful voice, which immediately weirded you out.

And not just you, because Jayme spoke up as well.

“Mom? She’s a robot you perv” she scoffed.

“She’s not a robot!” wallmart-batman turned toward her defensively.

“Hey, don’t you call him that!” the big guy, Luther, snapped at Jayme.

“Or what?” Ben asked in defense of Jayme.

“Come closer and find out!” Luther stepped toward Ben as he started approaching the big guy as well.

“Luther! Guys, chill!” the smaller woman tried to stop Luther, while you reached out to stop Ben.

“Think I’m afraid?” Ben asked and you could feel his hostility roll off of him.

“Ben! Please” you asked him timidly, but your voice didn’t even reach him.

“Ben, stand down!” Marcus commanded, but Luther was speaking over him already and chaos started to form.

“Look at that, she’s got a voice!” he pointed at you.

“How about I hide that big Rubik’s Cube up your ass?” wallmart-batman asked, annoyed with Marcus.

“Enough!” Marcus finally shouted. “I don’t know what circus you escaped from,” Marcus started and you could see wallmart-batman touch his cheek, where something black just disappeared, “or how you got past our security, but we’re done here. You got 30 seconds to get out of our house” he said in a no-nonsense voice.

“And if we don’t?” the stylish woman asked just as you realized what was happening with wallmart-batman. You looked back at Jayme, who just shrugged.

“Then we’ll have to settle this the old-fashioned way” Marcus stepped forward, ever the leader.

You zeroed in on wallmart-batman, who looked totally out of it, sweat on his forehead and tears in his eyes.

“What did he hallucinate?” you whispered to Jayme.

“I’ll tell you later” she smirked.

“Look, we just fought a literal army. Okay?” the short woman tried to diffuse the situation. “This doesn’t need to get ugly. Let’s all just calm down and let’s talk.”

And honestly, you were on her side. You didn’t want to risk the house or your sibling-in-laws or C/n for that matter. This could definitely be…

“Psst. Ben-er-ino” cowboy hat guy sing-songed as he looked at your husband. You could see his shoulders tense even more and an exasperated sigh left him. “You look so much better alive than you do dead.”

Oh no…

“Am I right?” cowboy hat guy asked from the Umbrellas and the only thing you could do is wince. From this point onward you wished that he shut up because even you wouldn’t be able to stop your husband if he was angered by the guy. “Except the haircut” he waved his hands.

“Oh no” you winced as Alphonso reached out and pushed you even further from the Umbrellas to keep you safe. He knew just as well as any of the Sparrows: this is where it gets ugly.

“What the hell did you just say?” Ben stepped forward.

“Come on, come on!” cowboy hat guy walked toward Ben. “Stop with all the hostility, Mr. Grumpy Pants” he stopped in front of your husband and leaned forward. “Oh, nice scar! Muy macho.”

“Oof” you commented and you could hear Jayme scoff as well.

“Shut. Your. Mouth!” Ben snarled and you knew, only a string held his anger.

“You shut your mouth and hug your brother!” cowboy hat guy exclaimed and opened his arms for a hug. And that’s exactly when Ben struck.

It was truly a beautiful hook that Ben delivered, you had to admit. But you wished that cowboy hat would’ve just stopped before it got ugly. You watched as he fell across the coffee table and it caused Luther to snap at Ben.

“Hey! What the hell?” he snapped. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I did!” Ben snapped back.

“That’s right, he did!” Alphonso backed him up.

“Hey, get back! Back off!” Marcus shouted as Luther stepped closer.

“Luther!” you heard the short woman yell out as Jayme grabbed your arm and pulled you behind the counter, just as Marcus pushed Luther.

And all hell broke loose. Marcus and Luther started fighting and the Sparrows and Umbrellas paired up as well.

“Jayme, get Y/n out of here!” Ben yelled as the small Umbrella teleported toward him and started fighting with him.

You could hear yelling from both the Sparrows and the Umbrellas as they fought and you could only try to stay calm as Jayme pulled you toward the exit. But you didn’t get far as the stylish woman intercepted you and Jayme, along with the short woman. You ducked just in time as one of Fei’s ravens dived in to try and attack the stylish woman, who immediately took up the fight.

“Sloane!” Jayme yelled out and pushed you toward the woman. “Take care of her! I have a shorter problem.”

This, C/n didn’t like and he jumped out of your hands, scratching them in the process.

“Ouch!” you hissed, holding it.

“C’mon Y/n, let’s get you out of here!”

“Alright” you nodded, frantic now that the chaos started to get to you.

You could hear Jayme knock the short woman down as Sloane tried to lead you toward the stairs. But that’s exactly where Fei and the stylish lady were fighting.

“Uh… okay, plan B” Sloane stepped back and looked up at the balcony.

“Oh, please, no” you tried to plead with her. “You know I don’t…”

“Just get to your room, we’ll get you, when we’re done here” she promised and you felt her powers wrap you up and lift you toward the balcony.

You landed behind the railing and stood up. That’s when you heard the short woman say: “My turn.”

You could see her turning… white? And you knew you had to flee. Before much else could happen though, Sloane used her powers on her as well, though less gentler than she did on you.

“Shit!” you yelled out as the short woman slammed into the pictures behind you as you ducked, afraid.

But just as you stumbled through the short hallway to be able to turn right, a knife whizzed by you and you soon heard Chris’s garbled yelling.

“Y/n, be careful!”

You looked back and saw him getting chased by wallmart-batman. You quickly fell to the left, where you could turn down the corner. Just in time, because in the next moment, Chris also turned that way, knives shooting toward him. You held your head for a second, trying to gather all your courage to move. You’ve never been this close to a fight, Ben always made sure that you were in a safe distance.

“Okay, Y/n, you have to move” you told yourself, gripping your hair. You screwed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Then you stood up and sneaked toward the walkway.

But just as you reached the main staircase that led down, you bumped into the boy. Quite literally.

“Oh, you…” he narrowed his eyes.

“Please don’t hurt me” you put your arms up, in front of your face.

“You’re harmless?” the boy arched an eyebrow, suspicious of your surrender.

“I swear! I’m just Ben’s wife, a normal human!” you pleaded.

The next moment he flashed away. You flinched, but the punch never came. Instead you heard the swooshing sound three more times and he was back at the portraits. You peered over the railing to see Jayme approach him and the stylish lady. Before you could be spotted by stylish lady, you ducked back down and continued sneaking away from the scene.

“Hey!” you were almost at the end of the hall, when you heard her yell. You tried moving forward, but she was faster. She grabbed the back of your shirt, lifting you up.

“Please, please, please, don’t hurt me” you whimpered. “I’m no one, I’m just a simple girl!”

“Yeah I don’t believe that, Jennifer!” she accused you.

“That’s the second time you called me that, but I don’t…” you breathed as you felt her grip tighten on you. “I swear I don’t know who she is! I’m just Y/n!”

“Well…”

But stylish lady couldn’t say much more as Fei appeared on the stairs.

“Y/n!” she yelled for you. “Leave her alone, you bitch!”

“That’s not a nice thing to say!” stylish lady let go of you. “I heard a rumor you couldn’t move” she whispered over you and instantly, you froze.

You couldn’t move, only watch as Fei approached her and her ravens started multiplying. Stylish lady saw this and her eyes widened.

“Actually, on second thought, screw this” she said, turning around and making a run for it.

You were left there by her, still unable to move.

“Y/n, I’ll deal with her and take care of you” Fei leaned down to you as she reached you. “I promise I’ll avenge this.”

You could only look forward as Fei left you once again. You could hear the commotion behind you as Fei’s ravens started destroying a door somewhere close to you. Not much later you actually heard the familiar swooshing sound of the boy teleporting and his frantic muttering.

Suddenly whatever spell was placed on you was broken and you fell forward.

“Oh God” you sighed out, grabbing at your elbow which you hit as you fell. You also saw the dried blood on the back of your hand where C/n scratched you. Poor kitten was probably scared out of his mind.

“Vanya, get out of there!” you suddenly heard the boy shout and you slowly stood up to peer over the railing, into the living room.

There lay the short woman on the broken table and the Sparrows slowly surrounded him. You saw her breathing hard and groaning, trying to get back up. Suddenly she started glowing white. You couldn’t make sense of it, but knew it couldn’t be any good.

“Ben, be careful!” you shouted just before she… exploded? Her energy exploded, which threw you back to the railing behind you.

It was over before you knew it and could hear the others groaning and getting up from the debris.

“Oh god…” you heard Chris garble. “What the hell was that?”

Marcus appeared in your vision and offered a hand.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

“Never better” you groaned, accepting his hand. He pulled you up and led you to the balcony, where he looked down at the destruction.

“It’s over” he started. “Go. Don’t come back.”

You could only focus on Ben, who stood in front of the fireplace, clutching his side. Marcus sighed next to you as him and the rest of the Sparrows watched the woman, Vanya, exit.

“Y/n” Marcus turned to you. “C’mon, I’ll take you to Grace, she’ll fix you up.”

You nodded silently, sparing another look at your husband and his family standing in the debris.

You sighed as you exited the bathroom. It’s been about an hour since you got stitched by Grace (when you hit the railing it split the skin on your head open) and then you went to take a shower to freshen up. Meanwhile though, your husband was nowhere to be found around you.

You could only guess that they got a dressing down from Marcus, blaming them for the destruction. So you headed to the only place where you knew they could be: the training room.

“Y/n!” you heard Grace’s voice call out as you headed toward the room. “Do you need a smoothie too?”

“No thanks, Grace” you smiled at the robot. “I’m fine. Is that for the guys?”

“Of course, they need their greens for their training” she said as she caught up with you.

You nodded silently and opened the door in front of you.

“The skinny one is their weak link” you heard Fei say as you entered.

“Unless hiding behind couches shouting, ‘Where’s my daddy?’ is his superpower” Ben replied sarcastically.

Grace put the tray down on the table and you leaned against the wall to watch your husband stop the treadmill and slow to a walk before getting off of it.

“Enough post-gaming. They hurt Y/n and disrespected us!” he said as he walked toward you. “We need to be out there finding these freaks and taking ‘em out!”

He reached you and put an arm around you, kissing your forehead gently, which contrasted so much from his harsh words.

“Oh, you mean like this?” Marcus asked and switched whatever video was playing to the surveillance footage of the last moment of the fight. The others sighed and stopped their treadmills as well. Marcus walked in front of them and shook his head. “Can someone explain to me how you got your asses handed to you in 30 seconds?”

You sighed, massaging Ben’s back as he stiffened at Marcus’s admonishments.

“Do you have any idea what would happen to our reputation if anyone had seen that?!” he yelled at the end, pointing to the TV screen. “I mean we hadn’t faced any decent enemies for years. This could be good for us. Good for business. But only if we’re smart with our next moves.”

“Is that all you care about?” you spoke up suddenly, annoyed to see that the version of him that only cared about missions and being famous came out.

“I’m sorry?” he turned toward you.

“Did you even try to think about what these people could be here for? That what they were saying is true?”

“Y/n…” Ben shushed you. “Don’t make things worse, darling.”

“I’m not trying to. But did you even notice their faces? When they were talking, when they looked at you?” you looked at him. “The way they fought? I mean tell me if their style doesn’t seem familiar…”

“Y/n, this discussion is not for you. Our next move is not for you to decide” Marcus spoke up sternly. “You are not a Sparrow. You are not part of the team.”

“Fine” you gritted your teeth, then pulled out of Ben’s arms and turned around, just as Reginald came in.

“Nice one dipshit” Ben snarled at Marcus.

“You summoned, Number One?” Reginald asked Marcus.

Marcus regarded Ben and you for a second, before looking at Reginald.

“Sit” he said and you walked out.

You leaned against the wall as the door closed behind you and took a deep breath. You thought about all that the Umbrellas said before the fight ensued. And one thing stuck out.

It looked like they recognised you. But not all of them. And they called you… someone. Some other name… what was it?

Oh yeah, Jennifer. But who was this Jennifer?

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Taglist: @divergentnewt23, @evie2407, @snixx2088, @inkedeye2345

[notakugelblitz]

FERNANDO • Five Hargreeves x Reader

as everyone seems so sad since the release of season 4, i thought this could help :’)

it takes place during season 3, during Luther and Sloane’s wedding. as you spend your last moments with your siblings in law, you start to have some regrets about the life you could have had with Five.

NO WARNING, all fluff 😊 2341 words

i got inspired by ABBA’s song Fernando and it’s so Five x Y/N related I love it (well this is how I interpret it)

english isn’t my first language so sorry if you spot any mistake

enjoy ☂️

It was only a matter of hours now. You were all staying at the Hotel Oblivion, the last survivors. The Kugelblitz was growing and yet, Sloane and Luther had decided to marry.

While the boys were having a bachelor party before the ceremony, you were wandering the corridors aimlessly.

Ever since you arrived in 2019 with Five, his family quickly became yours. They welcomed you so warmly and trying to save the world twice clearly forged something big. But when you met the Sparrows, the hate that they felt against them seemed rather excessive (apart from Luther of course). Probably due to your age, you felt more mature about it. Seeing Sloane and Ben loosing all of their family pained you grandly.

You even found in Luther’s future wife a friend, which was a surprise but you enjoyed her kindness quite much. Your feet led you to Sloane’s room so unhesitatingly you knocked at her door which was half opened. She answered and smiled as she spotted you.

“Y/N ! Come in !” Sloane said to you, her soon-to-be former Sparrow Academy sister, in a cheerful fashion as she closed the door behind her.

Then she turned to face her once the door was firmly shut. You smiled, noticing the dress Sloane was sewing herself.

“It looks flawless.” you said, pointing at the white dress laying on the bed.

Sloane smiled gently at your comment and walked over to it, caressing the dress lovingly with her hand.

“Thank you … I just hope it fits me.”

“I’m sure it will. Nothing you wear unfits you.”

You chuckled a bit falsely, feeling a pain in your heart but yet you managed to smile. It was the best day of Sloane's life, and probably her last, after all.

She seemed to notice the sadness in your eyes and immediately became concerned as she took a closer look at you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong ? You look … sad.”

You sighed and grabbed a vase, sitting on the chair as you took the flowers out of it. You started to tie the stems altogether to create a crown.

“I am not sad. I am just … seeing you all excited for your wedding … I’ve been there too … ” you let out.

Sloane smiled and sat down on the bed opposite you, watching you make a crown out of the vase’s contents.

“Yes, I am but … I get the impression that you didn’t enjoy yours ?” she said slowly, a hint of suspicion in her voice as she tried to make sense of your comment.

“Oh no, I loved it !” you exclaimed suddenly. “I had the most wonderful wedding. And I believe yours will be just as perfect.”

She smiled genuinely as she heard you say that you enjoyed your wedding.

“Well … I’m relieved to hear that ! For a moment, I thought you’d been married to an arsehole or something !”

“Five is an arsehole indeed, but he is a great man, I can assure you.” you laughed.

You then approached her to check the size of the crown on her head.

“There.”

Sloane smiled as you placed the flower crown on her head carefully. Feeling the weight of it, she looked in the mirror, gently caressing the flowers and admiring the work that had been done on it.

“Thank you, Y/N. It’s beautiful …”

You looked at Sloane’s reflection and surprised yourself with a sort of mothering smile. It suddenly brought you nostalgia and sadness at the same time. Sloane checked over her shoulder, noticing your change of mood, a look of concern once again present on her face.

“Y/N … are you sure you’re okay ?”

You pinched your nose and sighed, trying to avoid some tears from falling. You couldn’t believe how weak your were but the tiredness and the end of the world wasn’t making it easy.

“Five and I married when we were 56. Secretly, as it was forbidden by the … by our employers,” you started to explain.

You checked on her, wanting to know if she was ok with you opening up like this. Her eyes saying like “Go on, I’m listening.” and her hand grabbing yours relieved you suddenly.

“I am 58 now. I just wish I had met him sooner …”

You looked down at your feet. It might sound weird for Sloane as you also had the appearance of a teenager. But still she kept holding your hand, gently rubbing the back of it with her thumb as you spoke, trying to give comfort in any way she could.

“Is that why you’re sad ? Because you wished you’d had more time with Five ?”

“When we got back here, we thought of a well-deserved retirement..” you sighed deeply. “But then he decided to save the world again because he’s addicted to it. And I wouldn’t blame him for that, he spent his life doing so. I just …”

You bit your lips, looking down at her hands, young and soft.

“And you just … want to be able to grow old with him … like normal people who marry and have a family …”

You looked up at Sloane, surprised that she’d understand that easily. You slightly opened your mouth because of the astonishment but shook your head.

“I know that everyone expect me to say that I have no regrets because I had time, unlike you … no offense of course. But coming back in 2019, both of us teenagers again, I thought … it sounds stupid, but I thought we had another chance, you know ? To grow old normally, without any Commission nor Kugelblitz.”

“I get that … you feel like you’ve been robbed.”

You nodded and looked up at her, cupping her cheek with your free hand.

“I shouldn’t bother you with that. Let’s enjoy this night, shall we?”

Sloane seemed to freeze.

“Would you like to be my maid of honour ?” she lets out suddenly.

You arched an eyebrow and smirked.

“I mean … you’re the only friend I’ve got here and … Ben is a dumbass. And a boy.”

“Yeah right … I’d be honoured.” you chuckled.

Without warning, Sloane hugged you tightly, resting her chin upon your shoulder. This felt good actually, and you got a bit moved knowing that you both needed it. At this moment Sloane’s wedding became your last most important mission. You wanted to ensure that it���ll be the night of her life and all the happiness she could feel, the same you felt back then, shan’t be disturbed.

• • •

The Hotel Oblivion had never been as beautiful as it was now, with the Hargreeves being the last survivors on earth. Celebrating a wedding a day before the end of the world had something rather beautiful.

You were standing by the aisle, beside Sloane, as you were her maid of honor. You looked at her and Luther with a kind of nostalgia, smiling a bit sadly while Klaus was pronouncing some vows.

As Klaus’s speech continued, Five kept his eyes on you. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of nostalgia himself as he took in the moment. All the people he loved most were here with him, yet he knew deep down that these would be the last moments they’d get to spend together like this. The thought was more than a little concerning to him, and the hand holding his glass subconsciously clenched into a fist.

At the end of the ceremony, everyone went their separate ways, some dancing on the dance floor, some at the buffet. You headed directly to the bar where all the alcohol was, serving yourself a glass of whisky with the same nostalgia and sadness in your eyes.

Even though you had moved to the bar, it was as if Five’s eyes had never once left you. So he grabbed another glass and joined you at the bar.

“Are you just planning on staying here all night ?” he asked, taking a seat next to you.

Just by his tone, it seemed as if he was trying to hide his concern under his usual snarky demeanor.

“Aren’t you ?” you asked, pouring some whisky into his glass.

You sighed and lifted your glass to raise a toast with him, your smile a bit off. Five raised his glass as well, clinking it against yours.

“You’ve got a point there.”

He took a rather large gulp of the drink before setting the glass down. Five glances at you as a look of concern crossed his face again.

“You’ve got that look on your face. You alright ?”

You sighed and drank your glass bottoms up, then filled it up again. You then turned to see Sloane and Luther dancing happily.

“Do you have any regrets ?” you asked monotonously. “I mean… we never had the time to really enjoy a happy married couple life, you know ?”

He turned his head towards you and raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Are you being serious right now ?” he quipped.

“That’s what you’re worried about ? Really ?”

“Did we, Five ?” you asked, looking right at him with pain in your eyes. “I mean, yes, we got married, but for what ? Working two years at the Commission with your name after mine and then coming back in 2019 to save the world and have no fucking break.”

You sighed and drank your glass again, bottoms up, not disturbed by the strength of the alcohol.

He sighed, running a hand down his face as he spoke.

“That … that’s not a very fair question. It’s not as if we could’ve helped it.” he started off, trying to reassure you as he picked up his glass and swirled the alcohol around. “Things just happened that we had to deal with. Like you said, we were more focused on stopping the apocalypse than ... anything normal couples would usually do.”

“I dreamt of a retirement, Five. I truly did,” you let out. “Reappearing here with damn teenage appearances, I… I thought we had a second chance, you know ? Having a whole life for ourselves. But no.”

You sniffed and poured yourself another glass. A look of hurt and concern spread across his face even more at this. He knew how badly you had wanted to experience life like every normal people did and all that came with it, and seeing you admit how disappointed you were … it was crushing for him.

He put his hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing it as he tried to find the right words to say to console you.

“You know it’s not too late, right ?” he said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“We only have a day left, Five. Don’t mock me.”

He grabbed you by both shoulders and turned you to face him, gripping them tight.

“I am not.” he said defensively, his voice regaining its hard, blunt tone. “You’d know that if you’d just listen to me for a minute. What I’m trying to say is … you want to experience being a normal, young adult ? Fine. Well, there’s nothing stopping us now, is there ? So stop sulking and start enjoying this while it lasts.”

You looked at him with surprised eyes, rather shocked by what he said. You didn’t have the words, mouth slightly open. The music stopped and another song started : "Fernando" by ABBA. You felt shivers down your spine hearing it. It was the song that played during your first dance … well, it played on the car radio, and you danced somewhere on the side of the road on your way back from your little clandestine marriage back in 1977.

As soon as he heard the opening beats of this special song, he couldn’t help but smirk and internally snicker, already anticipating his next move. He grabbed your hand with a slightly tight grip and started to pull you to the dance floor.

“Five, what are you doing ?” you gasped, leaving your glass on the table.

You were still a bit shocked but let him pull you anyway.

“Oh my ! Five is going to dance !” Lila exclaimed.

“Awwwww, that is way too cuuuuute !” Klaus chuckled.

“Gross.” Ben added.

Five glared at the others as he dragged you towards the dance floor, ignoring their teasing. However, the death glare changed back into a smirk once he got onto the dance floor and pulled you into his arms.

“Just shut up and dance with me,” he quipped.

“But you never dance …” you whispered.

But you didn’t say a word when he placed your hands on his shoulder and in his palm.

“You’ve been wanting to have your time to enjoy yourself as a married couple, right ?” he asked, his voice quieter now. “So then … why not spend our last night doing exactly that ?”

You huffed, touched by his words. It seemed like the end of the world had opened his eyes somehow, and enjoying every last minute with the people he loved felt more important now, ever since he met his old version saying that he shouldn’t save the world and all that awful stuff …

You smiled at him widely.

“Thank you …” you almost whispered.

His heart felt both heavy and warm at your words. Heavy in the fact that he was suddenly very aware of how limited their time was … but warm in the fact that it seemed like you’d finally come back to your senses.

“Save your thanks and enjoy yourself for the night, okay ?” he replied quietly, a small smirk on his lips. “The only reason I’m doing this is so you’ll stop moping and complaining, just so you know.”

“Yeah, right.”

You chuckled, knowing that he was doing it for himself too.

“Though we never thought that we could lose, there's no regret.” you quietly hummed along.

Five spun you around, and he couldn’t help but laugh a bit, enjoying himself much more than he thought he would. Seeing him smile like this, being truly happy after a long time, moved you a bit. Those dimples, his glimmering eyes …

As you hummed to the lyrics of the song, the smirk on his face widened, and he began to sing along.

"If I had to do the same again, I would, my friend, Fernando."

[badkitty3000]

One Fateful Day

Five x Single Mom reader, one-shot, 5k words

Warnings: None!

I received a request quite a while ago for a fluffy, sweet one-shot where Five befriends a single mom. Hope you like a super soft Five, cause that's what this is! ❤️

A/N: This image was made entirely with AI, as you can probably tell by the glaringly bad mistakes.

Five listened to the sound of happy children playing and screaming, along with the quiet hum of distant traffic and the crunch of bike tires as they rolled across the gravel pathways of his favorite city park. He found his usual bench, brushing off a few fallen leaves before easing himself onto it with the groan of someone years older than he looked. As soon as he was situated, he glanced around and waited. It never took long before they found him. Sure enough, less than 30 seconds later, the gang of ne’er-do-wells showed up out of nowhere.

Five’s bird friends consisted mostly of some mangy looking pigeons, a few brown sparrows, and one particularly ornery blue jay. They knew him by sight and would flock at his feet whenever he came to visit. As they gathered around, cooing, chirping and hopping excitedly, Five smiled down at them.

“Hi, guys,” he said quietly. “How’ve you been? Staying out of trouble?”

As usual, he received no real response, but more flitters and flapping of wings. That was ok, though. He didn’t mind the one-sided conversations.

Pulling a small bag of bird seed out of his inside coat pocket, he continued talking.

“Sorry I missed you yesterday.” He sprinkled a handful of the seed on the ground and watched as the excitement of the crew intensified. “Klaus needed a ride to the dentist. He said to say hi.”

Five watched the intricate dance of bird hierarchy unraveling before him. He already knew their order of rank and which bird was going to get the majority of the feast while the others waited their turns.

“Wren Franklin…be nice. Bernice isn’t taking your share, Jack Sparrow, so quit your squawking.”

He threw another handful on the ground. “Trucker Bob, it’s ok buddy…you get on in there, they aren’t going to hurt you.” Five suddenly stomped his foot at the blue jay, causing everyone to scatter for a brief moment before scurrying back again. “Sandra Jay O’Connor, I saw that! If I see you peck at poor Mr. Tippington again, you will be banned for a month!”

As Five cursed the blue jay while cooing soft words of encouragement to a small and plain-looking brown bird, he heard a quiet giggle nearby. Sensing it was aimed in his direction, he looked up. On the next bench over, he saw you. Your eyes sparkled as you tried to stifle your laugh. You looked abruptly away as soon as Five glanced at you.

Five smiled softly to himself. He knew he looked and sounded like a crazy person. But he sensed you weren’t making fun of him, just that you were amused.

“You laugh, but I’ve seen that bird fly right onto a man’s head and fly off with his toupee purely for spite. Granted, she was probably doing him a favor because it was god awful, but still.”

You looked at Five and laughed shyly again before shaking your head. “I had no idea bird crime was so rampant in this city.”

“Oh, yes,” Five nodded solemnly. “In fact, I advise you to stay away from the park at night. You might find yourself in the middle of a fly-by shooting. Lots of bird gang violence around here.”

“Is that so? Well, thank you for the heads up,” you said with a smile. Just then, your 5 year-old daughter ran up, out of breath. You handed her a bottle of water. “Ready to go, sweetie?”

The little girl nodded while taking a sip. “Yep.”

You got up and started to walk away, taking your daughter’s hand in yours. You stopped and looked back at Five, who was still watching you. “Have a nice afternoon with your friends there, and I hope Mr. Tippington is ok.”

Five grinned widely. “Thank you, and he’ll be just fine.”

You nodded with a smile and turned to leave. Five watched you go, ignoring the fact that his feathered friends were now clearly irritated that their benefactor had yet to give them their full ration of seed for the day.

Two days later, and Five was back on his favorite bench. As he was in the middle of another inciteful, one-way conversation with his buddies on the ground, he heard a familiar voice from behind.

“Go along and play, Cassie, I’ll watch you from here.”

When Five turned, he saw you standing there. Your eyes sparkled in the sunlight just like the first time he saw you.

“So, do these birds do anything for you in return for you feeding them? Like bringing you gifts, or doing your taxes?” you teased.

Five chuckled. “No. They just let me talk their ears off while they eat.”

“Huh. Do birds have ears?”

Five shrugged. “You know, I’m not sure. Maybe that’s why they don’t care that I’m talking at them.”

You laughed and gestured to the empty side of Five’s bench. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

As Five moved over to make more room for you, you introduced yourself with a handshake.

“Nice to meet you. Five Hargreeves,” he said.

“Hargreeves? Why does that name sound familiar?” you asked, tilting your head.

Five sighed quietly. He really wondered why he hadn’t just picked another name by now. It would make things so much easier.

“Does The Umbrella Academy ring any bells?”

You were thoughtful for a second and then the lightbulb went on. “You’re kidding! You were…are…one of them?”

Five nodded. “Sure am. Good old Number Five.”

“I see,” you responded with a smile as you looked him up and down. “So, which one were you? I mean, what can you do?”

“Teleportation. Time travel.” He paused. “Pigeon summoning.”

You laughed. “Very cool. I can see your very impressive pigeon power in action now, but you’ll have to show me the others sometime.”

Five smiled. “Sure thing.”

You nodded. “Ok, Number Five. So, I’ve seen you around the park here a lot. Are you here with your kids, too?”

Five felt called out and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. “Uh, no. No kids.” He was really hoping you didn’t think he was some creeper hanging out at the park for less innocent reasons. “Don’t worry, though. I just like to come here and feed these guys,” he explained, gesturing to the birds on the ground. “It’s like therapy but without the judgment and bill at the end.”

You looked dubious for just a moment, glancing over at the play structure where your daughter was swinging happily. But when you turned to face Five again, you relaxed. You glanced down at the birds. “They certainly seem to like you.”

Five shrugged. “I think they just view me as a human vending machine.” He held out the bag of seed towards you. “Want to be the hero?”

You nodded and reached into the bag, scooping up some seed and tossing it on the ground. The birds went crazy, tweeting and flapping their wings, making you laugh. Five grinned.

“See? They have no loyalty.”

“I see that. But you have names for them all?”

“Ah, well…some of them. At least the usual ones that come around. It’s rather interesting to observe their little avian society.” Five stopped, realizing that he sounded like a weirdo. “I’m sorry. I’m not a complete lunatic, I promise.”

You laughed, and once again Five could tell you weren’t making fun of him. You seemed genuinely charmed by him. You also had a very calming presence, he noticed. He didn’t feel awkward or on edge when talking with you, which was a refreshing change of pace these days.

“I don’t think you’re a lunatic. Believe me, I can spot them from a mile away and you’re not one.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

You jumped when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket from an incoming call. You held it up to Five with an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, I have to take this. It’s my ex and he’s supposed to take our daughter this weekend, so I have to figure out the details.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

As you turned to walk away for more privacy, Five took a look over at the playground. He saw the little girl you had called Cassie, climbing up the ladder to the monkey bars. She was small and Five watched as she got to the top rung, hesitantly reaching out for the first bar to cross. As she swung out, Five could see she wasn’t truly comfortable with what she was doing, and the ground was pretty far below. He stood up, looking over at you, but your back was turned as you were trying to focus on the call. When he turned back to the girl, he saw it start to happen like it was in slow motion. On the second bar, one of her hands started to slip, leaving her dangling by a few fingers. She let out a scream that got your attention, but it was too late.

Just as your daughter lost her grip with her remaining hand and began to fall to the ground, Five blinked directly under her, catching her just in time. As he stood there with your daughter in his arms, both of them looking shocked, you ran over in a panic.

“Cassie! Oh my god, are you ok?”

She nodded, still looking up at the mysterious man that had appeared out of the literal blue to save her. “Yeah.”

Five set her down and she ran to you, hugging you tightly around your waist. You held her to you and looked up at Five.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. I can’t believe I wasn’t watching…but you were…oh my god if you weren’t here…”

“No problem. I’m just glad I got there in time.”

You choked back the tears you could feel coming on. “I’m a terrible mother, aren’t I? I just let my kid fall off the monkey bars because I wasn’t paying attention. What kind of person does that?”

Five smiled gently. “A normal one. Of course you’re not a terrible mother.”

“You don’t even know me,” you sniffed with a smile.

“True. But in the very short time we’ve been talking, I can tell that you’re a great parent. Just like you can sniff out the lunatics, I can spot a shitty parent a mile away.”

Cassie let go of you, glancing back at Five with a smile and then back at you. “It’s true, mommy, you’re not shitty at all.”

“Cassie!” you gasped in horror at your daughter’s language.

Five tried to hold it in, but he had to laugh, which made Cassie laugh, which then made you laugh.

 “Sorry, I think that’s my fault,” Five said.

“Well, I’d like to blame you, but the truth is I have a bad habit of swearing like a sailor myself. I just usually try to keep it to a minimum around her, but I’m not always successful.”

Five nodded with a smile before crouching down in front of Cassie. “Maybe next time stick with the swings, ok?”

Cassie frowned, her eyebrows scrunched together as she crossed her arms. “Swings are for babies. I can DO the monkey bars, but these were slippery. Someone made them slippery.”

Five looked back up at you with a grin, then back at Cassie, fixing his face so that he was serious again. “I bet they did. That seems like a very logical explanation; I can tell you are very smart.”

Cassie uncrossed her arms with a smile and nodded. “I am! I get in trouble at school for saying I’m smarter than the other kids, but it’s not my fault. I’m only telling the truth.”

“We’re working on being humble, aren’t we Cassie?” you said in a reproving way.

Five chuckled and leaned in to whisper to Cassie, making sure he was still loud enough that you could hear. “I completely understand. I have the same problem.”

The little girl nodded solemnly, recognizing a fellow put-upon genius in her midst. She looked back up at you. “Can I go on the slide now?”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok.”

“Alright, then. I promise I’ll be watching.”

As she ran off to the slide, you turned to Five. “I should probably go over and stand at the bottom. Just in case.”

“Oh sure, I understand.”

“Really, I can’t thank you enough, Five. You’re amazing.”

Five put his hands in his pockets and smiled shyly. “I think amazing is a bit much, but you’re welcome.”

“So, will you be coming by to feed your buddies tomorrow?”

“Most likely, yes.”

You nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I was thinking that I might bring Cassie back here tomorrow as well. Maybe around 2pm? Do you think you’ll be here then?”

“I think I will definitely be here at 2pm.”

“Great. I’ll see you then.”

With a smile, you gave him a small wave and turned to go join your daughter at the slide. Five watched you walk away, unable to keep the growing grin off his face. This was the most interaction he’d had with anyone that wasn’t part of his family in a very long time and it felt surprisingly good. Really good.

The next day, Five was already waiting at his usual bench when you and Cassie found your way over to him. When he saw you, he stood up, holding out a cup of coffee for you. His own cup was on the bench next to where he had been sitting.

“I wasn’t sure how you liked it. Or, even if you drank coffee, but here you go. It’s just black.”

As you took the cup, you giggled. “Yes, I do drink coffee, and black is perfect. Thank you so much, that wasn’t necessary.”

Five shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I was getting one for myself anyway, so it was no trouble.”

Cassie watched as you and Five stood there smiling at one another, but not saying anything. Her eyebrows came together and she looked up at Five, tilting her head to one side.

“My mom said your name is Five.”

Snapping out of his trance, he addressed Cassie. “Yes, it is.”

“That’s a number.”

“Yes, it is.”

“That’s how old I am.”

Five nodded. “You seem very mature for your age.”

She paused, eyeing him up thoughtfully. “Five’s a weird name.”

“Cassie!” you cried out, completely embarrassed at your daughter’s lack of a filter.

Biting back a laugh, Five pretended to look confused. “What do you mean it’s weird? I know at least a dozen other people named Five.”

Cassie paused, trying to determine if he was telling the truth or not. Then she shook her head with a small smile. “No, you don’t.”

Five grinned. “See? I knew you were smart.”

You laughed at their interaction, looking around. “So, where are your friends?”

“Oh, I haven’t put out the buffet yet. They’ll be here though.” He turned to Cassie. “Would you like to help feed some very ungrateful birds with me?”

The little girl’s face lit up. “Yes!”

“Ok, then, here you go,” Five took out his usual bag of birdseed and handed it to Cassie. “Just start sprinkling it on the ground. They’ll be here before you know it.”

As she took the seed and started to throw handfuls around and up in the air, laughing to herself, you and Five sat on the bench and watched. Sure enough, after about a minute, the small flock began to swoop in. Five identified all of them that had names, which made Cassie laugh even harder. As she giggled and let out little shrieks of joy while she continued to throw them more food, you turned to Five.

“I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time.”

“Really?”

You nodded. “It’s been really hard on her since the divorce. She has to go back and forth from house to house every week. It’s stressful and I can see it taking a toll on her. Which, naturally, makes me feel like shit.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Five said earnestly. “But even if it’s hard on her now, it will be better for her in the long run. Kids are resilient and she really is very smart, so I have no doubt she’ll be fine. What happened with you and your ex, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well,” you sighed, “it’s a long story. But the short version is that we got together when we were young and just outgrew one another over time. He’s not a bad guy, but we argued all the time. The love was gone and we just didn’t want to fight anymore.” You looked over at Cassie with a guilty frown. “I just wish I could protect her from all of this.”

Five was silent for a moment as he took that in. “Look, I’m not a parent and I don’t pretend to know anything about marriage, but I can tell you that it sounds like you did her a favor. Growing up in a house with constant bickering can be stressful in its own right. And not seeing any love between parents is even worse. So, she’ll be more than fine. You showed her that everyone deserves to be happy and she’ll carry that with her as she grows older.”

It had been so long since someone had said exactly what you needed to hear, that you immediately started to tear up. Hurriedly wiping your eyes, you laughed at yourself.

“Sorry, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.” You looked up at Five with a grateful smile and patted his hand that was next to yours. “Thank you for that. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Five swallowed nervously and looked down at your hand on top of his. “You’re welcome. And who knows, maybe you’ll find the right person down the road.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, taking in his clear green eyes. “Maybe I will.”

“Mommy look!” Cassie shrieked with a laugh, jarring you and Five out of your moment.

You quickly pulled your hand away, turning your attention back to your daughter. She was standing there, smiling ear to ear, as a small, skinny pigeon sat on her shoulder like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“It likes me!”

Five laughed, shaking his head. “I have been coming here for months and not one of those damn birds has ever sat on me like that.”

You laughed, too. “Unbelievable.”

“What’s this one’s name, Five?” Cassie giggled.

“Oh, uh…yeah, that’s…Fred.”

As Cassie continued on, feeding and talking to Fred, you looked over at Five. “What was that about?”

He ran a hand through his hair and lowered his voice. “I actually call that one Fuck Face.”

When you doubled over with laughter, Five grinned from ear to ear. He’d never made anyone laugh like that before, and it was the best he’d felt in a very long time.

Over the next few weeks, you and Five built up a close friendship. He listened to your stories about single mom life and how it could be lonely and difficult. You listened to his stories of his traumatic past and how he was attempting to live as a normal man for once in his life. The conversation came easily and you never felt awkward around one another. Soon, he had integrated himself into your life, and into Cassie’s, too.

She loved spending time with Five, and on the days when you didn’t see him, she always asked about him. He liked to tease her and she was always ready with her own zingers to sling back at him. When she told him bad knock knock jokes, he would groan and tell her how horrible they were, but he would be smiling the whole time. You would sit back, watching their banter, thinking how cute they were. 

There were more play dates at the park, more bird feedings, then lunch at a café, and eventually Sunday dinners at your house. Five had never felt this comfortable in his own skin before, and he actually thought he might have found what he had been looking for this whole time. Happiness.

Even though he had become such a big part of your life in such a short time, you and Five had not moved past the friends stage. You were still a little gun shy after the divorce, and you weren’t even sure Five was interested in you that way. Sure, there had been several times when you had caught him looking at you in that way that made your heart do a little flip in your chest. And maybe your breath hitched a little whenever his hand brushed against yours in passing. But you liked how things were between you. At least for now.

Five wasn’t sure how you felt about him, either. He knew you were coming off a bad relationship and you probably wanted nothing to do with men for the time being. He definitely liked spending time with you, though. He found he looked forward to it more and more. Seeing you smile when you saw him was the best part of his day. But he didn’t want to assume you were interested in anything more. If he made a move and you shot him down, not only would it be embarrassing, it might ruin what you already had. And that was too important to lose.

The three of you were at the park again, and you watched as Cassie dragged Five off toward her favorite twisty slide, taking his hand and pulling him along while he pretended to grumble about it. After he was forced to slide down the plastic slide, you laughed loudly when you saw him reach the bottom.

“What?” he asked, brushing the dust off of his pristinely pressed slacks.

“Your hair!” you laughed. “The static made it stick straight up!”

He patted at his crazy hair with a frown and tried to smash it down, which made you laugh even harder. After Cassie came tumbling out of the slide herself, Five pretended to be annoyed with her.

“Hey, kid, you didn’t tell me that slide would mess up my hair.”

Cassie giggled. “You look funny. Like a porcupine.”

After Five fixed himself as best he could, Cassie took his hand and tugged on it again, this time trying to get him to crouch down to her level. When he did, she rested her hand on his forehead for a second, pulling it back with a frown. Then she looked at Five with a shake of her head. “You don’t feel hot.”

“Should I? I’m not feeling sick.”

She looked over at you. “I heard you talking to Taylor’s mom at the bus stop and you said Five was hot.” She put her hand on his cheek. “He feels normal.”

If the ground suddenly opened up and swallowed you whole, you would not have been more grateful. Instead, you remained frozen, your face on fire and your mouth trying to form words that wouldn’t come.

“Uh…” was all that you stammered out.

In true kid fashion, Cassie was oblivious to the faux pas she created. As Five slowly stood up again, and Cassie skipped off to the swing set, unbothered by it all, his eyes met yours. The self-satisfied smirk on his face spoke a thousand words.

“You said I was hot?”

“I…no…I mean well yeah…kind of…” you tried to stumble your way through a cohesive sentence.

Five adopted his typical cool stance, with his hands in his pockets, as he continued to grin like an absolute asshole. “So, is Taylor’s mom cute? Did you give her my number?”

After a few more seconds of being mortified, you started to see the humor in the situation. You relaxed and laughed quietly, looking at the ground with a shake of your head. “Damn it, you’re an asshole sometimes, you know?”

“But still hot, right?”

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” you said with a groan.

Five shook his head slowly. “Probably not.”

As you ran a hand down your still-flushed face, you sighed. With a raised eyebrow, you jabbed a finger in his direction. “You fucking know you’re hot, too. That’s what makes it worse.” When he laughed, but didn’t deny it, you sighed again.

On your way over to the swings, Five bumped you with his elbow. “You’re pretty hot yourself, you know.”

When you looked over, you saw the corner of his mouth turn up as he swallowed hard. His eyes skirted away from yours as he looked at the ground.

“Thanks, Five,” you said, suddenly feeling very warm again.

“You’re welcome.”

It was a few days later when your little trio was walking to the park from your house. After Five had joined you for dinner, you had decided to take some of the leftover bread to his group of feathered friends. As you got close to Five’s regular bench, Cassie stopped him.

“Wait. Can you do the whooshing thing with me?”

Five chuckled. “You mean blinking? I suppose. If your mom doesn’t mind.”

“You can do my mom, too,” Cassie added.

Trying to hide a laugh, he nodded. “I would love to do your mom.”

Even though that little side comment sent a tingle down your spine, you pretended you hadn’t noticed. “It’s ok, you two go ahead.”

Five shot you a very devious grin before grabbing you both by the arms and blinking you over to the bench. Your shriek of surprise was cut short as you appeared out of his portal. Cassie was falling on the ground in a fit of giggles while you tried to catch your breath with a hand on your chest.

“Sorry,” Five said, unsuccessfully holding back his own glee.

“You are not, liar,” you laughed.

With a shrug and a grin, Five handed Cassie the bread for the birds. “Here you go, kid, they should be pretty happy with this feast.”

When Cassie opened the bag and spread the crumbs on the ground, the birds descended, recognizing their new, smaller food-bringer.

“Mr. Tippington, it’s ok,” Cassie cooed to the little brown bird that had become her favorite. “Trucker Bob, you’ll like today’s dinner, it’s bread!” She swatted the angry blue jay away, just like Five had shown her. “Sandra Jay…you be nice or no one will be your friend.”

Sitting next to Five, on the bench where you had first saw him talking to those ridiculous birds, you turned to him and studied his profile. You knew his face more intimately than anyone else’s, you thought. How many times had you stared at it while he was talking? Taking in the sharp angles of his jaw and the way he swept the hair out of his eyes with an agitated hand. It made you wonder…what was stopping you from doing what you really wanted?

Out of nowhere, you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. When you pulled back, you couldn’t help but let out a short burst of laughter because the expression on his face was one of complete and utter confusion.

“Sorry,” you said, looking down at your lap. “I couldn’t resist.”

After a few seconds of Five trying to get his wits about him again, he smiled. “I’m so glad you did that first.”

“What do you mea—”

Your question was cut off by Five’s lips meeting yours, his hand coming to rest on the back of your neck. His kiss was soft and pure, and unlike any other kiss you’d had before. When you finally opened your eyes, meeting his gorgeous emerald ones, you felt so good you couldn’t contain your giant grin.

“I’m not sure what took me so long,” you confessed.

“Me either,” Five said with a chuckle before leaning in again, letting himself get lost in the softness of your lips and the sound of your quiet, contented sigh.

It was magical, pure and simple, and he wasn’t even sure how this was even possible. He wasn’t sure he was deserving of it, but he would take it.

“EW!!!”

You and Five jumped, pulling apart abruptly as Cassie looked on, hands on her hips.

“That’s gross,” she complained.

“Sorry, honey, uh…Five and I were just…”

“Mommy, I’m not dumb. I know you were kissing and it’s definitely yucky. You’re going to get germs.” She paused. “Are you married now?”

Five laughed, and covered your hand with his. “No, we’re not married. But we like each other, is that ok?”

Cassie thought for a moment, the birds around her seeming to stop and think with her. “Yeah, it’s ok. Just remember I want a baby sister, not a baby brother.” Then she turned back to her birds, ignoring the two shocked adults.

“Well…sorry about that,” you responded with a cringe.

“No need to apologize. These are all good things to know. Yes to a baby sister, no to a baby brother.”

“Oh my gosh,” you said, covering your eyes in embarrassment.

Five gently moved your hand away. When you looked back at him, his soft smile told you everything you needed to know. And when he leaned in for another kiss, you felt like you were finally where you were supposed to be.

“I want this. Do you?” he asked, his voice heartbreakingly quiet.

You nodded. “Yes. I feel like…like we’re meant to be somehow. Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense,” Five said before kissing you once again, cradling your face in his hand.

Five had found what he had never dared to dream of. Someone he didn’t have to lie to, or pretend with, or put up a wall against. You liked him for who he was, and he wasn’t ashamed of anything when he was with you. You brought out all of the good within him, and he never felt safer than when he was with you and Cassie. You and she were his found family; the key to his happiness.

As for you, you had finally found the right person. Somehow, Five had become your best friend and confidant. And now, he was something more. Someone that understood you and knew the real you, all the way down to your bones. He was all you had been waiting for, and you couldn’t wait to start a new chapter of your life with him.

[inkspiredwriting]

Love in the Midst of Chaos

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I don't speak Italian, so if this sentence is wrong then I'm sorry. Ti amo, Sei l'amore della mia vita. = I love you, you are the love of my life.

Warnings: none

The battle between the Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy was fierce and relentless. The once-grand Sparrow mansion had become a war zone, with the clash of powers echoing through the halls. Five Hargreeves teleported through the chaos, evading attacks and countering with precision. But he was taken off guard when Jayme, with her venomous spit, managed to strike him.

Five stumbled back, his vision blurring as the hallucinogenic effects of Jayme's power took hold. The world around him shifted, the cacophony of battle fading away. He found himself standing in a tranquil garden, the air filled with the scent of blooming flowers. And there, in the midst of the garden, stood Y/n, his wife, looking as radiant as ever.

"Y/n?" Five whispered, his voice filled with awe and longing. He approached her, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Yes, Five, it's me," she replied, her smile warm and inviting.

Five felt tears well up in his eyes. He reached out, cupping her face in his hands. "Ti amo," he said in Italian, his voice trembling with emotion. "Sei l'amore della mia vita."

Y/n's eyes sparkled with love as she leaned in, her lips meeting his in a tender kiss. Five felt a surge of warmth and happiness, all the chaos and pain of the battle melting away in that perfect moment.

But in reality, Five was standing alone in the hallway, his eyes closed and lips moving as he kissed the air. Jayme watched him with a look of disgust. "Pathetic," she muttered, before giving him a hard shove that sent him tumbling down the stairs.

Meanwhile, the real Y/n was engaged in a fierce battle with Fei, the bird-controlling member of the Sparrow Academy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Five falling down the stairs. Panic surged through her, but she couldn't afford to lose focus against Fei's relentless attacks.

Y/n fought with all her might, using her agility and combat skills to evade Fei's birds and strike back. Finally, with a well-placed kick, she knocked Fei unconscious. Breathing heavily, she rushed to Five's side, her heart pounding with worry.

"Five! Are you okay?" she asked, helping him to his feet.

Five blinked, the effects of the hallucination wearing off. He looked at Y/n, relief flooding his features. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... got a bit distracted."

As they made their escape from the Sparrow mansion, the rest of the Umbrella Academy regrouped. They moved quickly, knowing the Sparrows wouldn't stay down for long. Once they were safely away, Y/n turned to Five, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity.

"What happened back there? You looked completely out of it while fighting Jayme."

Five smiled softly, his eyes filled with love as he looked at her. "I got distracted by you, like always."

Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Me? But I was fighting Fei."

Five chuckled, his hand gently caressing her cheek. "I know. But in my hallucination, you were there. And I couldn't help but tell you how much I love you, in Italian no less."

Y/n's eyes softened, and she leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Well, next time, try to stay focused. We need you here in the real world."

Five nodded, wrapping his arms around her. "I'll try. But you have to admit, you're a pretty powerful distraction."

The rest of the family looked on with a mix of amusement and affection. Klaus, ever the romantic, sighed dramatically. "Ah, young love."

Diego rolled his eyes, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. "Come on, let's get out of here before the Sparrows wake up."

As they walked away from the Sparrow mansion, Five kept his arm around Y/n, holding her close. Despite the danger and chaos of their lives, moments like these reminded him of what truly mattered. And as long as they were together, he knew they could face anything.

[mynicknameisgasoline]

Incorrect Quotes 1/4

okay so maybe i write a little bit

1.

y/n: So are we flirting right now? Five: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU y/n: That doesn’t answer my question

2.

y/n: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Klaus: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have used my one phone call to prank call the police

3.

y/n: I CAN'T DO IT! Klaus, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Diego: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. y/n: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Viktor: y/n- y/n: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Lila: y/n we gotta- y/n: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' y/n, motioning to season 3 allison: NOT FUCKING THIS

4.

y/n: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it Klaus: Just rip the bandage off. y/n: It’s sparrow ben Klaus: Put the bandage back on.

5.

Luther: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Five: I'm a knife. y/n, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

6.

Klaus: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? y/n: The car takes a screenshot. Five: For the last time, get the fuck out.

7.

y/n: Ben, I'm sad. Ben: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Klaus: Ben, I'm sad. Ben, nodding: mood.

8.

'Can I copy the homework?' Five: No. y/n: Yeah, sure. Klaus: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. Diego: lol nope. Lila: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! Vanya: *Read 5:55pm*

9.

Allison: y/n... How do I begin to explain y/n? Klaus: y/n is flawless. Lila: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000. Luther: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan. Five, muttering: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

10.

y.n: Rules are made to be broken. Five: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Klaus: Uh, piñatas. Diego: Glow sticks. Lila: Karate boards. Vanya: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. y/n: Rules. Five: ...

[txicyuri]

since the umbrella academy is over…thought i’d drop my sexuality headcanons for them

LUTHER HARGREEVES

- cisgender and straight

- type of guy to get a bunch of ally merch

- the only cishet sibling

DIEGO HARGREEVES

- cisgender and bisexual

- definitely has a preference for women

ALLISON HARGREEVES

- cisgender and unlabelled

- ik a lot of ppl think she’s straight but honestly i could 💯 see her getting with a woman.

- probably has a preference for men though

KLAUS HARGREEVES

- non binary and pansexual

- well this is canon, so. not much else to say

FIVE HARGREEVES

- aromantic, asexual, and agender.

- triple a battery anyone

- idk wtf steve blackman was THINKING. five will always be aroace to me idk

BEN HARGREEVES

- genderfluid and pansexual

- i really see ben as the type to not have any preferences, just really will fall for anyone

- this goes for both umbrella and sparrow ben

VIKTOR HARGREEVES

- transgender man and straight

- my transhet king

- pretty sure this is just canon anyways

LILA PITTS

- cisgender and bisexual

- diegolila is so painfully bi4bi (im so sorry for what the writers did to you.)

- probably has a preference for women

[ninihunt]

𝕺𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓|| Part 1

The Enemies We Became ────୨ৎ──── ETHAN HUNT x FEM READER

Summary: You are an agent who works for the IMF. After you received your mission, you were informed that Ethan Hunt had recruited you to his team. However, bitter pasts haunt you throughout the mission. And it's all up to you and Ethan to set them right as you and the team try to hunt and stop the Entity from starting a nuclear war between the countries of the world.

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Slow-Burn, Ethan hunt being an ass towards the reader ( well, at first😉), Mission: Impossible ( Dead and Final Reckoning)

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 1142 (it's short, sorry)

You were in an IMF safehouse. Always appreciated them. They were just as beautiful, functional as your own house. You were seated on the couch, a black leather couch, with recliners and all. You were staring at the photos you hung up on the wall. Pictures you took when you were in France, London, and many other places with your Ex-bestfriend,Ethan Hunt. Emphasis on "Ex", but more on how that happpened later. It hurt you every time you glanced at those pictures. Yet you have no idea why you hanged them anyway.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you heard a knock on the door. 'Ugh! It's 5 in the morning, who the hell would it be? You groaned to yourself. You headed for the TV cabinet and grabbed your gun, well, it's a precaution, and walked silently towards the door, looking through the peephole to see who it was. You sighed at the sight of a mailman waiting patiently with a box in his hand. You opened the door, finger on the trigger of the gun behind your back.

The mailman stands straight, as if he's a military officer.

"The night speaks in silence, ‘They will come for you.’ But I do not flinch. I do not run. I reply with no words — only fire. For I am not the hunted."

He says with a misty voice. You then realise he is sent from the IMF to deliver a mission package. You were taught all of these 'epic and poetic' when you were a trainee at the IMF.

" I am the Reckoning." You answer.

At this, he hands you the package and walks away, into the gloomy surroundings as you shut the door behind you.

'A new mission.' You thought to yourself, sighing. You had only finished your solo mission a week ago. God! There's always some bastard trying to bomb the world!

You head into your bedroom, package held tightly in your hand. You place it down on your desk, pulling up a stool and sitting on it. You tear open the package, careful not to disturb the contents inside.

It's a book. 'Red Sparrow' to be exact. You flip it open to see a big hole after the first 20 pages. It has a tablet inside it that you turned on to play a voice-recorded message.

"Good morning, Agent. A rogue intelligence—non-human, autonomous, evolving— The Entity, has breached containment. It sees everything. It hears everything. And soon, it will decide everything.

Global powers are in a silent race for control. Some seek to own it. Others, to destroy it. But only one man holds the key… and that man is Agent Ethan Hunt."

At the use of his name, you clenched your jaw, looking away, a heavy feeling filling your heart. Turning your head to see his face on the screen, green eyes, messy hair that screams ' run for your life '. His looks did mesmerise you, but that was back then. Now you just hated him for existing.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Retrieve both halves of the cruciform key.

Prevent global escalation.

Decide whether truth should be known, or erased forever.

You will be working with Agents Ethan Hunt, Benji Dunn, and Luther Stickell.

As always, if you or any member of your team is caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions.

This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Good Luck, Y/N."

You sighed loudly and shut the book as it combusted by itself.

'Working with Hunt again!', you exclaim to yourself. You were annoyed. Extremely annoyed. What annoyed you even more was a Morse code letter in the book. It was a letter from Ethan. Gosh, you hated him, you are literally not on speaking terms, and he had recruited you to the mission because of your "talent" (at least that's what he wrote in the letter). You didn't want to go with him, you absolutely didn't. But a part of you says you have to, not for him, but for the entire world. So you did. You packed your bags to meet the team at the IMF safe house near the Abu Dhabi airport at 10:06 am.

IMF had provided you a private jet to Abu Dhabi, and a safe vehicle to go the the safehouse. You twisted open the doorknob with a key given to you in the plane, and saw Benji Dunn in the living room. He was, as usual, sitting with his laptop on his lap, the green light from the screen accentuating his features. He turned his head toward you slightly with furrowed eyebrows, which you were sure was the face of a confused man trying to figure out who was at the doorway. As soon as he recognized your face ( you worked with this same team a bunch of times, so it was like a good reunion, well, at least with "some" of them), his face broke out into a big grin. You gave him a grin, too, as he set his laptop on the table and came running to you, giving you a HUGE hug, swinging his arms around your neck as you swung your arms around his waist, still grinning.

" My, my, if it ain't Benji Dun,n" you said, setting your bag down.

He gave a chuckle." Well, it's me alright, definitely not a masked guy." he said as he tugged at his own cheek to show that he's not wearing a mask or something.

You smirk and not your head at his stupidity. He was always there for you, like your brother.

" I missed you, Y/N." he said, giving you another hug. " Me too, Benji" you said. You broke out of the hug, and you and Benji settled on the couch.

" Where's the other guy?" you asked, looking at the computer, with the least amount of bother in your voice.

" He's just in the room, setting up some gear for you and himself." he said, pointing his thumb towards a room at the right.

You nodded. " What are we doing today? " you asked eagerly. You felt ready for the mission, more than ever. Only, it's just the beginning.

" You and Ethan should retrieve the other half of the key from a courier named Delai Hasan," He says, showing you a picture of him on his laptop. You simply nod, but the thing is, you hate going on a mission like this alongside Hunt. 'Why did he always have to be there?'.You thought to yourself

And then you heard footsteps and turned towards the door Benji pointed at some time ago.

There he was, standing as if he saw a ghost, looking at you, Ethan Hunt, your no.1 enemy and rival. Yet you were working on the same mission as him.

[miniy00ng1]

Bad Hand

Five Hargreeves x Female!reader

wc: 1576

warnings: swearing, angst?, death (kinda), lmk if i missed anything

find my masterlist here

hi everyone! this is my first piece that ive ever published on tumblr! im a little nervous bc i dont think its that great but i thought id give it a go! sorry for any grammar errors and please give me feedback! thank you <3

-------------------------------------

Ever since you met The Umbrella Academy, your life has been anything but normal–even though you are. Like any other pubescent kid, you admired them and their super abilities. Never imagining in any timeline becoming apart of their mess of a family. And now you couldn’t imagine a world without them.

You remember the day you met the super family. They had saved your life during a bank robbery gone wrong. The siblings came to save the citizens in the bank and managed to disarm every robber except for one. One had gotten away and grabbed onto the closest person they could–you. Your mother yelled and cried when you were pulled away from her.

And you were terrified to say the least. As the robber had his arm wrapped tightly around your neck and a gun pressed to your head you thought it was your last few moments on earth. “You freaks better stop fucking moving or I’m blowing her brains out!” The robber yelled. The Umbrellas stopped in their tracks. 

The siblings eyed each other. Communicating without speaking, their plan was set into motion. Allison shouted at the robber to distract him while Diego had thrown two knives in the robbers direction. One knocking the gun out of the robber’s hand and the other landing into his flesh. 

A bright blue flash appeared next to you and then you felt a rush of motion. You closed your eyes to stop the upcoming wave of nausea from the adrenaline of the situation. Not even noticing you were being held in someone’s arms. A comforting hand was rubbing up and down your arm and whispering calmly that you were safe. 

From then on you were always grateful for the Hargreeves siblings. You had stayed in touch with them and had grown close to them even as they grew apart. You were devastated when Five had disappeared, taking it the hardest as you had grown very fond of the boy who had comforted you during your traumatic event. You were even there for the family when Ben had died.

But now, the world was ending in three days, yet again, and no ones figured out how to stop it. You’ve done it before, in Dallas and the original timeline, but now as everyone has split off and accepted their fate you too start to question if it’s time to give up. 

You glance around from the white table you’re sitting at. Today is Luther’s wedding and  it’s beautiful, although rushed–there’s music, delicious food, and a relaxing atmosphere. Almost as if we have all the time in the world. The thought of losing this family for a third time makes your heart ache. You love them all.

There’s one Hargreeves that you feel differently towards in comparison to the familial love that you have for the rest of the family. Five Hargreeves, stuck in his teenage body after returning home from his apocalypse, was swaying by his lonesome on the dance floor drunk as could be. 

A sinking feeling settles in your stomach, clearly he has given up on trying to save the world–and if anybody had a chance of saving humanity, it would be him. Tears well up in your eyes at the thought of losing everyone you love. You get up in a haste needing to be alone as soon as possible. You head outside for a breath of fresh air, yet another thing that you’ll miss in three days. 

You find yourself quite emotional and you’d like to blame your raging hormones. While  returning from Dallas and escaping the apocalypse a second time, your body had an odd reaction seeing as you were not super like The Umbrella Academy and returned back to its teenage form.  It was quite a shock to everyone but the shock wore off fairly quickly when they were confronted by The Sparrow Academy.

The streets were quiet as you sat on the curb, hands enveloping your knees as you try to comfort yourself. It’s just you out there for a couple of minutes before you hear the door of Hotel Obsidian slamming open. 

Stumbling out comes a drunk Five, uttering nonesense and staggering towards you. “Hey! Y/N! You’re missing the party come back inside!” He hollers as he makes his way to the curb. You don’t respond as he stumbles to sit next to you, the stench of alcohol entering your nose. “Great party am I right?” He laughs out loud. You glance up at him to find him staring at you eyes half closed with a drunk haze clouding his eyes.

“Sure is Five. You seem like you’re enjoying yourself.” You respond glumly, returning your gaze the the empty road. “What’s wrong Y/N? Did you not like the steak they served? It was a bit tough if I do say so myself. But who am I to complain? I’ve had worse food in the apocalypse.” Five chuckles to himself, remembering the days he struggled to survive.

Anger starts to bubble inside of you as you stand up and start to pace,“This isn’t some joke Five. I’m about to lose everyone I love and not a single person inside of that damned hotel gives a shit. Including you.” Five’s faces hardens in response, your outburst seems to have sobered him up in no time.

Five joins you in standing, his nostrils flaring in frustration,“You think I haven’t tried my damn hardest to find a way out of this mess Y/N? Do you think I enjoy knowing that my family is going to die in three days? That you’re going to die. Everytime, I find myself in some apocalypse bullshit and everytime I have to fix it. Me! I’m so sick of trying and trying and nothing that I do works. So maybe, just maybe this time I don’t do anything and let everybody else deal with it because nothing I do ever seems to help!” Five turns away running a hand through his hair before shoving his hands in his pocket.

“I would do anything to live a normal life. To experience the many things I missed out on while I was gone. I want to be a moody teen and a messy 20-something year old. I want to go to experience the ups and downs of a relationship with the woman I love…” Five trails off glancing back at you, “But I’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, haven’t I?” Five makes his way back to the hotel and you let him, too stunned to call out for him.

The following morning after Luther and Sloane’s wedding, you’re emotionally drained. You spent the whole night in your hotel room thinking about what Five said and how you should apologize. You were so selfish to not consider how he’s been to hell and back, multiple times. 

You head to the lounge area in the lobby, still deep in thought going over all the possible outcomes of your apology. Five, Diego, and Luther are seated at the bar in a hushed conversation as you approach. Tapping Five on the shoulder you ask if you can speak with him in private. He glances at you and says, “No. I have no need to speak with you. I have important matters to address.”

Out of all the things that could of happened, this was not something you considered. You were flabbergasted, hurt even. You knew you were selfish last night, but for him to not even give you the time of day to hear you out. “Woah there Five, you’re being a little harsh there to little Y/N.” Diego says, obviously caught off guard by Five’s attitude change towards you. 

“No, I’m not. I have nothing to say to her nor do I want to hear anything she says.” You try and shrink yourself smaller than you already are. You can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you mutter a quick apology and immediately beeline to the elevator. As the doors close you let yourself go. This is not how you wanted to spend your last days.

In the elevator, you begin to get a weird tingling sensation enveloping your body. Unsure if it’s the feelings from the interaction you just had with Five, you rush down the hallway to your hotel room as soon as the elevator doors open. A wave of nausea washes over you and panic sets in. This must be it. Everyone has slowly been disappearing and now it’s your turn.

Your hands shake as you struggle to open the hotel door with your keycard. You get a glimpse of yourself as you pass by a mirror in the room and it’s not good. Tears blur your vision as reality sets in. You’ll never get the chance to apologize to Five, you’ll never get to see any of the Hargreeves again, it’s over.

On the desk in the hotel room lies a notepad and pen. This is how you let them know. Let them know how much you care and how you’ll miss them. How much you love him and how you wish you could’ve lived a life with him that he yearned for. You try to write as much as possible to The Umbrella Academy but you only have so much time before–

POP

You’re gone. The only thing left is a half written note left for the Hargreeves siblings to find.

[nameuserlee]

“The heartless are the most faithful.”

Another part of Sylus’ lines compilation, all from interacting with him at the café. He is the gift that keeps on giving. Part 4 (links back to part 3, and so forth.)

“People who don't overthink things tend to sleep well. I'll think about you more when I can't sleep.” (I might be missing a few words here, I only got the first half of the line.)

“Having more plants in the bedroom isn't always good. You don’t need to keep bringing some back for me. They don’t produce oxygen when I'm awake.”

“You got me. I do have something in my hand that will pique your interest, sweetie. Have you decided what you’ll trade for it?”

“Is this a ticklish spot? I’m checking so you don’t accuse me of sneaking up on you later.”

“I found your weak spot. Heh, I won’t go easy on you now.” (Choose “Don’t do it!") “Good. I’ll take my time finding all your sensitive spots when I make my move.” (Choose "Nope.")

“How do we compare neck lengths? With a ruler?”(I’m sorry but LMAO.)

“You want to leave your scent here [on my neck]? You’ll have to work for it.”

“Are you planning to tie a red ribbon around my neck as if I’m your present?”

“(Y/N), keep it up. I like feeling your breath on my skin.”

“Your lips almost brushed against mine. It was hot.”

“I often place my hand here [on my heart] as well. It makes me feel alive.”

“(Y/N), does rummaging through my belongings provide a joyful experience? Your tail’s standing up straight, kitten. We should get a mirror so you can see for yourself.”

“At the fashion show, I saw a dress with the night sky stitched over a river. I ordered one for you. It'll be sent once the measurements are correct.”

“The scenery on page 37 of the travel magazine you were looking at a few days ago is nice. When we’re free, let’s clear our minds. Should we make that place our travel destination?”

“Do you want a distraction? Night fishing might work. If you spend one whole night fishing, you might get things like drift bottles, tattered hats, or plastic dinosaurs. They’re just jokes that fate throws at you.”

“When you feel like night fishing next time, head straight for that shop by the sea. Should I have someone get the yacht ready? We can set sail tonight.”

“Why am I inviting you to go fishing? No reason in particular. If I must give one… I’ve never a kitten catch a fish before. I’m very curious.”

“You already have Luke and Kieran acting like they’re your henchmen?”

“Anyone who has crossed me isn't active for long. Do you think you’ll be any different?”

“Those people's tracking skills are laughably bad. I lost them by just taking a random turn.”

“Do you see those 'little sparrows' keeping watch outside the window? Let’s make a bet. Guess how many will remain after a gunshot.”

He's a menace, what can I say. A cheeky, thoughtul, playful, and secretly sweet menace. I'm still cackling about that ruler line, btw. Let me go get one actually, hold still-

I think this'll be the last part for a while, I'm trying to raise his affinity level now. I've already exhausted basically all of the interesting lines I came across. Hope these were fun for you as much as they were for me :)

edit: he then proceeded to spew like five more new lines at me what a TREAT. might be able to squeeze one more compilation after all.

[canonsensical]

A comment I'm repeatedly seeing (and agreeing with) about Season 4 of the umbrella academy is that the characters actions did very little to impact the plot or overall outcome of the story.

1. Diego and Luther's Eggs and Legs Adventure. What came from this apart from Diego discovering family is important and that Five's boss is evil? I would have loved to see Diego come into his own a bit here. Over the seasons he's wanted to join the police, the commission and the CIA, but it hasn't worked out for him largely because he isn't great at taking instruction or working in that sort of team. It would have been great to see him become a Leader in that CIA office and to showcase his tactical skills. Even if Luther became the rallying heart of this dynamic encouraging people to do what they joined the CIA to do, to help him and his brother to hack systems to find where Gene and Jean, or Beniffer or other crucial players are.

2. Klaus and Alison's Great Escape. Being possessed by a ghost and learning their secrets? Great, use it again. Have dead Jean possess him, use that to gain intel either to sabotage their plan, or to realise that they aren't that different from the keepers. They wanted to get back to their rightful timeline too! Alison's issues some more from her unresolved conflict with her family. She betrayed them, she thinks they resent her. She would try to sacrifice herself for them and Claire so hard at the first opportunity.

3. Lila and Five's Subway Surfing. I am keeping away from large parts of their story, but you can't introduce an Alternate Timeline Subway System and not have it as part of your plot resolution. Sorry, thems the rules.

3a. At the moment of absorption by Bennifer, Five blinks them all to the subway, they live in peace and harmony in one of the safe timelines until they are ready to die, and then they go back to finish sacrificing themselves.

3b. Take all those keepers who want to get back to their rightful timeline, and take them on the subway to find somewhere they'd be happy.

3c. You have established multiple interacting Five's in Max's diner, confirming the scale of alternative timelines with Marigold. (Only some marigold timelines will have Five's as seen with sparrows and Phoenixes) Assuming 50 plus kids in each of those timelines, that's a lot of power that they actually have physical access to.

Hopeless endings are all well and good, but you can't make the characters irrelevant to the entire story as well.

[cvrnelians]

little sparrow - chapter one

yandere Erik Lehnsherr x reader: Erik is determined to make you return his feelings, no matter the cost.

Warnings: stalking, kidnapping, non-con elements, 18+ only.

You woke up late.

The clock on the bedside table read 11:37am. Sunshine seeped in through the blinds, casting shadows around your room. Your eyes widened as you attempted to move, but were unable to do so. Your heart sank at the realization—what were once straight, solid bed posts were now tightly wound around your wrists, keeping you subdued.

It should’ve been impossible. You had to have been dreaming. You had to have been.

As you squirmed in discomfort, you couldn’t help but wonder how you’d gotten such a good night of sleep this way. Just how long had you been tied up like this? More importantly, how had someone even managed to get your bed posts to bend in that way, to curl up like a snake?

You attempted to pry yourself out of the contraption, but you flinched in pain every time. After several minutes of struggling, you exhausted yourself. You clenched your eyes shut and sighed in defeat. And then, you heard it. Clear as day. A man’s voice. You opened your eyes to see him, tall and handsome in a brown leather jacket and jeans.

“I’m sorry about the restraints,” he said casually, as if apologizing for bumping into you on the street. “I’ll take them off. Couldn’t have you flying away on me during the night, could I, spatzi?”

“What’s going on?” you asked, your breathing suddenly becoming rapid, shallow.

He chuckled, ignoring you. He approached you slowly, carefully. You flinched away from him as he placed his hands on your arms. There was a flash of something in his eyes as he looked at you—pity, maybe—but he quickly regained focus towards the task at hand. With a flick of his fingers, he unwound the bed posts from around your wrists, setting you free. You still didn’t move an inch.

A mutant. There was a mutant in your apartment, and there was nothing you could do about it.

“Let’s have a look,” he said, reaching forward to grab your wrists. You tried flinching away, but he simply tightened his grip. “You’re all red.” He frowned, his gaze meeting yours. He placed his hand against your forehead and through your hair, pushing it away from your eyes. “You have brushburns. How long have you been awake?”

Your eyes shifted towards the clock, then back to him. “Around five minutes.”

“You did this much damage to yourself in just five minutes?” he asked, smirking at you. It was certainly odd, but his tone wasn’t necessarily malicious. He was amused, like you’ve done something silly. And maybe you had. You clearly weren’t going to get out of your current predicament on your own, as hard as you may have tried. “Determined. I like it.”

“Who are you?” you asked. “What…what’s going on?”

He frowned again. “You’re shaking.”

“If it’s…if it’s money you want—”

“Ah. Money,” he echoed, rolling his eyes. “Right. You think that’s what I want?”

“If you’re going to hurt me—”

“Hurt you? I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said, pausing to chuckle to himself. “Well. Not in any way you wouldn’t like.”

Regardless of his intention, his words only seemed to fill you with anxiety. He gave you that sympathetic look again, kneeling down next to the bed where you were sitting. He grabbed onto your shoulders.

“Look, I know you’re afraid. But I need you to be brave for me, alright, spatzi?”

You stared at him in confusion. “You keep saying that. Spatzi.”

He moved to hold your chin in his hand. He studied you carefully, staring at your eyes, down towards your lips and back up again. “Little sparrow.”

“How did you get in my room?”

“The same way I get into any room. Through the door.”

“Please don’t toy with me,” you said, your breathing ragged.

He stared at you for a moment, as if surprised by your words. He smiled warmly at you. A real smile, not an amused one. “I’m not toying with you, I’m playing with you,” he said reassuringly, although you didn’t feel very reassured. “There’s a difference.”

“How did you do that to the headboard?”

“You ask a lot of questions, don’t you?” he sighed. “But I won’t fault you for it. I suppose I would, too, if I woke up like this. It’s jarring, I’m sure.”

“I’ll give you anything you want. Please, just let me go and I’ll—”

“Enough,” he said, tightening his hold on your chin. “Not that I don’t enjoy hearing it, but I think that’s enough begging for today. You’re just going to exhaust yourself.”

“Please, sir, if you just let me go—”

He raised his eyebrows. “Sir. Very polite of you,” he said, grinning. But then his face hardened. “But no. This ceaseless begging ends now. I wholeheartedly promise you, I don’t intend on letting you go. And I’m not one to go back on my word.”

You were both quiet for a while, staring each other down. He let go of your chin and stood up, walking towards your dresser. He picked up a small metal jewelry box, tracing the edges with his fingertips.

“Who am I? What do I want? That’s what you’re wondering, right?” he asked. “This is nice, by the way. Antique?”

“It was my mother’s,” you said shakily.

He opened the jewelry box, and suddenly the rings inside began to float. You stared at him in shock.

“Was. You lost her, right? Deeply saddening. I’m so sorry, my dear. Losing a parent, I know that kind of pain.”

“How did you know that?”

“I’ve been following you for a while now.” He inspected your rings carefully, turning them over midair. “Are these all family heirlooms? Some look newer than others.”

“Please just tell me what’s going on.”

The rings slowly went back inside the box and it proceeded to close on its own, settling back down on the dresser. He looked at you, nodded. “Since you asked so nicely. My name is Erik Lehnsherr, and I’ve known you for a very long time.”

[archipelago-siren]

FUCK ME was the Umbrella academy a *HUGE* fucking let down. GAH. Spoilers ahead, obviously.

The *only* good things to come out of S4:

*The ending credits showed no pre-transition pics of Elliot Page

*Hazel and Agnes 3 second happy couple cameo

*Allison got to be a proper mother to Clare for a while, and Klaus a present uncle.

*Victor got to verbally annihilate Reginald and then get a smidgen of healing before RIP from existence

And now the SHITE things:

*Diego's character arc - obliterated. Five's character in general - obliterated. Lila was wrote from a badass independent woman to whatever the fuck that was. Klaus, holy shit Klaus. Way to fuck over anyone with addiction issues UA.

*The other 35 individuals born due to Marigold were just, completely written out of existing, Including the Sparrows except when Lila and Five came across the Phoenix academy?? Wtf

* does nobody own a fucking mobile phone??

*Reginald didn't give a shit about his 'kids' but kept 'apocalypse walking' Jennifer alive??

*Ray left Allison. I'm sorry what?! I get if the actor had other obligations- but he walked out?! RAY walked out?! I'm sorry but no.

Actually I'm not sorry. Just No.

*and so many other things which I'm too angry to write about and process but just, fucking hell.

I am all for tragic endings, I think 'and everyone was well and saved' for dystopian fantasy is not often the solution and goes against the political point of dystopia's - they're shit and not everyone gets a happy ending. But this? You didn't have to destroy every character before you then erased them from existence?

What. was. the. fucking. point.

[reaperintheroses]

With You

This is a mob au where all of the avengers are alive and well but definitely not earths mightiest heroes Eventual Peter Parker x Reader Word Count: 2.4k  Warnings: swearing, lying, panic attacks, mobs/gangs, arguing/fights, missing family member previous chapter next chapter   A/N: This is definitely a filler chapter but it was too much to combine with the next chapter. I took lots of inspiration for the neighborhood from the candyman movies so if you want an idea of the kind of aesthetic go watch the cinematic masterpiece that is the first candy man movie. Also sorry I’m just now posting this literally two years later. It was underperforming so I got sad and life got hectic with having a toddler. I re-read the first park of this series and realized I started writing for me so here we are. Unbetaed so any mistakes are my own.  

The sunrise looked beautiful as the city around you began to wake up. You heard the door open distantly as you shoved more eggs in your mouth. You hated to acknowledge how good they tasted. The bed beside you dipped as Peter sat next to you. He placed his plate in his lap and took a bite of his toast. You sat in silence for a while, absorbing everything around you. The sun, the sounds, the city horizon. You wanted to try and talk to him about what you heard but you didn’t want to admit that you were eavesdropping. You also didn’t want to burst the careful bubble that you guys had built around you. Your mouth opened and shut twice, trying to think of the right words to say. You thought of Jack, his mischievous smile and kind eyes. You thought of how hard you protected him as he grew up. You thought of what lengths you would go to in order to protect him now. You swallowed and sighed. You would always put Jack above all else until you knew exactly what happened to him. You needed to protect him. "Peter, what did your boss say about Jack?"

You heard him sigh and look up from his plate. Neither of you made eye contact as if it would help cushion the blow of the conversation. "Nothing you don't already know." You reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and your eyes screwed shut. You didn't want to have to relive this conversation, watch Jack's life play out in front of your eyes as Peter spoke. "That he was the first of two children in an upper middle class family. He developed a gambling addiction when he moved out of the house and got into trouble with some sparrows after he lost a ton of money and didn't pay it back so he disappeared." Your shoulders sagged. There had to be more, that couldn't be all they knew. There had to be something else. "That's it?" His face turned to look at you briefly before he turned back to the wall, almost as if he was avoiding your eyes. "It was a sparrow issue, so the sparrows are the ones that would have all the information. I'm sorry." Your head fell back on your neck and you almost groaned in frustration. 

"Peter, I have nothing but immense gratitude for you and everything you've done for me in the past five months, but that is just complete bullshit." You heard him sigh out of his nose. "I don't know what else you want me to say.” Your eyes fluttered shut briefly. "Peter, I know that there's something else out there. Do you think we can ask your boss if he has any old files or something?" Peter glanced up at you with a mixture of emotions in his eyes. "Like I said, he got into trouble with the sparrows. There was no reason for us to know more." your hands flew up as your mouth opened. "Peter please, he's essentially all I have left." His hands flexed as he thought about what else to say. "At the moment I am in no place to make demands with my boss, not after that independent project I was doing for a few months." Your tongue shot out to lick your lips. You shut your eyes as your hands ran through your hair. It didn't matter anymore. This was your fight in the beginning, and it seemed like it would be your fight in the end. "Peter, I can usually tell when someone is hiding something from me. I'm sure you have your reasons, and for now I'll respect them but I will figure out what happened to my brother. Regardless of what that means for me." His eyes flew shut as he nodded before grabbing your plate from you and standing up. "MJ left some clothes for you, they're on the couch. Get dressed, I'm taking you out." You exhaled as you nodded, despair flooding your body as the door shut behind him.

As you stepped out into the car you looked around and were greeted with one of the most gorgeous neighborhoods you'd ever seen. Brick buildings lined the block, trees sprouted up from the sidewalk. There was a faint smell of the wind in the air. Your head whipped back and forth as you took in the stunning area around you. "This neighborhood has been abandoned for almost five years. Whenever I need space to think I come out here. I figured you could get some good pictures." Your hands gripped your camera. You knew deep down that he was trying to distract you from your argument this morning. You also recognized deep down that you needed the distraction, the fresh air. You bent down on your knee and aimed your camera at one of the buildings. You felt Peters hand on your shoulder as you lined up your shot. "There's a bench a couple yards away, holler if you need me." You nodded as you began to take pictures, having your camera focused on anything the neighborhood had to offer. It's abandoned ambiance felt perfect. It made your pictures look cold and distant. You stood up off of the cold ground and looked over at Peter, his arms draped across the back of the bench. You tilted your head as you studied him. "Hey Peter!" His head turned to look at you, he smiled. "What's up?" You raised your camera in one hand. "Can I take a picture of you?" He nodded. "Do you want me doing anything specific?" You shook your head and got down on one knee again. "Just go back to how you were, it looked sexy." He tossed his head back and cackled as you focused your camera. You took a picture of Peter laughing, looking carefree before his face steeled and he continued looking forward. As you pressed down on the top of your camera you decided that regardless of what happened in the next few weeks between you and Peter, you would keep that picture of him laughing forever. You would use that picture to remind yourself what it felt like to be happy. 

You had already been in the neighborhood for about an hour. The pictures felt like a palette cleanser from everything else you'd taken pictures of since you'd become a photographer. You felt like you were walking around your own private city. Peter had entertained you for over thirty minutes, posing for pictures and being your model. You told him to wait by the bench as you walked around looking for other places to take pictures of. You'd made it about a hundred yards from the bench, far but close enough he could still see you. You looked around the buildings, almost wanting to go inside. You jiggled the door handle, your face twisting into one of disappointment when it didn't open. You let out a loud sigh as you decided you would look on the other side of the building before you completely abandoned the idea and went back to Peter. You walked around the front of the building with a tight grip on your camera. Your hand trailed along the brick as you looked at the other wall, seeing it lacked any doors. You pressed your lips together, turning around to make your way back to the car when you were met with a wall full of artwork. There were black and white swirls that didn't look coherent and also told a story of love and heartache. There were bridges and buildings, oceans and mountains. In the middle of it all sat a large sparrow in mid-flight. Your mind immediately remembered the alleyway from so long ago, along with the events that happened that same night. Your vision seemed to swim and you couldn't tell what was up and down, which direction was which. You tried to call out to Peter, but your mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls and your tongue was made of sand paper. One of your hands gripped your camera and the other felt along the brick wall of the building hoping the course feeling would ground you but all it did was remind you of the cold from that night. Your breathing became fragmented as you struggled to get your lungs to work. 'All I need to do is get to Peter.' As you thought it to yourself it seemed like an attainable goal but as you looked up to find the bench it seemed as if it was ten miles away. You felt your way down the wall and sat on the cold sidewalk. Your chest heaved as it became harder to breathe. You distantly heard heavy foot falls and your name. Your hand came up to your mouth to stifle your sobs as you felt a hand on your back. Peter slid down the wall to sit next to you, rubbing his hand up and down your back. "What happened?" You tried to focus on breathing as tears streamed down your face. "The sparrows on the wall I couldn't-" You could feel his head turn from your place against his chest. "But Mr. Stark owns this neighborhood, that's not supposed to-" he seemed to remember your current state and disregarded the thought. "Okay I know it might be a little difficult right now but I need you to listen to me." His thumb stroked the top of your hand as you nodded, your breathing still coming in chunks. "Look around you, what are five things you can see?" Your breathing slowed for a moment as you choked out your answer, "I can see a ton of buildings, a pond, some grass, your bench, and a tree." He nodded and drew you in closer to his chest, taking the camera out of your hands. "Okay good, that was very good. What are four things you can hear?" Your hands stopped trembling as you gripped his pants, the soft fabric grounding you. "Cars in the distance, birds, the tree branches, and your voice." He took your hand off of his leg and let you grip his palm instead. "You're doing so good, we're almost done and then we can go home and eat ice cream in our pajamas while we watch a movie." Your chest resumed a soft up and down motion as your breath began to settle. "What's three things you can smell?" You tried to take deep breaths out of your mouth as you focused on the world around you. "The wind, my shampoo, and your cologne." Your hand grips his hand tighter as feeling begins to return to your mouth. "What's two things you can touch?" You ran your fingers over your palm to get rid of the pins and needles, "The sidewalk and your pants," You felt better, as if the feeling had passed now. "What's one thing you can taste?" You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in, releasing it and seeing that your vision had returned to normal. "My chapstick." His arms squeezed you just a little tighter before he let you go. "Are you feeling okay to stand up or do you want to wait just a little longer?" You pushed yourself back against his chest a little further before nodding slightly. "Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Can we go now?" He chuckled a little bit before standing up and grabbing your hand to help haul you to your feet. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the wall, probably for his boss before grabbing your hand and leading you away and towards the car. 

Your hand gripped Peter's like a lifeline, you practically leaned all of your weight onto him. You passed the neighborhood again on your way back to the car. In the beginning it made you feel like royalty, like there was a special place made just for you and Peter to waste the day away. Now it just left a sour taste in your mouth. You could hear Peter's breath shift multiple times as you guys got closer and closer to his car. As you approached the door he took your hand and stopped you so you could face him. "I know this probably isn't what you want to hear right now but seeing as how you had a panic attack just by seeing a wall tagged by the sparrows I think we need to reevaluate your living situation." Your head tilted in confusion. "You told me this morning that once the sparrows realized I wasn't at that apartment anymore and that I was going to be harder to find they would give up and move onto bigger things." Peters lips pressed into a thin line as his words flash across his eyes. "Peter, out with it please. I don't want any more secrets today." His shoulders dipped as he looked you in the eyes. "Is there somewhere safer where you can stay? That wall was tagged by the sparrows even though my boss owns this entire neighborhood. It's entirely possible that I'm over thinking this and it leads to nothing but if it's something this is going to get really messy really fast. I care about you way too much for you to get caught in the crossfire."  Your grip on his hand tightened as thoughts flashed across your mind. You thought of the first night you saw him, the way he steadied you and looked into your eyes as if they would tell the whole story. The way he went out to coffee with you and didn't even know you. How he thought of you even when you guys weren't together. 'The only place I'm happy is with you.' You thought of the pictures you'd taken today, and over the past months you'd known him. How you looked at them when you were lonely and it lit a small light in your chest. 'The only place I laugh is when I'm with you.' You thought of his eagerness to see your work and how he supported you in everything you did, something no one had done since Jack. 'The only time I genuinely feel alive is when I'm with you.' Everything from the moment you met Peter surged your memory. Your feelings for him are at the forefront of your mind. "Peter, the only place I've felt truly safe in a long time is when I was with you."

[bluesyjean]

It's the last one, so I might as well do this. Very big thanks to @c0ffeeb1ack for organizing a rewatch. I really enjoyed all the commentary and going through the series one episode at a time rather than binging the whole thing, and it made me appreciate it so much more. (Especially s3, which got infinitely more fun on a rewatch without my Big Nerves about what was going to happen. s1 is forever my girl, but there are some genuinely great moments in s3.)

Extra hot takes for Oblivion:

SO HAPPY LUTHER AND KLAUS GOT TO DO SCENES TOGETHER. The entire Void sequence was quality. Knowing these two are such good buddies irl it's about damn time they got to hang out more on screen. They must have had so much fun doing this.

It took me a long long time, but Sparrow!Ben grows on you. He's hilariously trying SO HARD to be an asshole every time he opens his mouth you just have to laugh. So extra.

I forever wish Lila wasn't pregnant. I'm sorry, it just doesn't do a great service to her or Diego because now everything has to be about this. My relief when Stan wasn't theirs was so short lived.

Five whispering conspiracy theories with Viktor is so good. I missed them being besties, so happy he's still the one Five trusts. (In a "I'll kill you myself" if you fuck up again kind of way, but that's just Five for you.) We love paranoia.

Also was so happy to have Five and Allison actually talk to each other, even if it's just to fight. I've waited so long.

This episode had a lot of interesting character combos. Sloane and Ben with Five, Luther and Klaus, I could have had more of this.

Didn't notice before that the sigil thing is on the back of the guardians. Which means...? Nothing, but I did notice.

Love that they always turn blue when life is being sucked out of them. Just a bunch of little blue aliens.

The first time I watched this I was convinced that Five would eventually lose that arm again when they fix the universe. I hope not, poor left-handed little guy. He loves to write. :( But that might also mean deaths happen again. Fully prepared for bummers in s4.

I was not as enthralled with the soundtrack of s3 as I was in past seasons, but I will say the closing song is the only one that made its way into rotation on my playlist. Great choice.

Desperate for Abigail to be a horrific villain in s4. Please give me this, it's all I ask.

Anyway I might end up watching the last season this way. (One episode a day.) Great idea! Taking time to enjoy something, what a concept. Thanks all!

[evedaser]

JUST FINISHED YVAIN!!! i really liked that i really liked that i really liked that

kay sucks. again. hes barely in this at all but i was laughing out loud reading him getting told off, getting compared to a literal pile of shit

you know sometimes i get so busy enjoying the book i forget about the racism. and the sexism. sorry shall we go over the ugliest most terrible peasant who ever lived being the only dark skinned person i can remember in any of the five romances, and yvain relying on the flightiness of a woman’s mood in order to MARRY HER. TWO OR THREE DAYS AFTER KILLING HER HUSBAND.

this author is fucking in love with gawain, and you know what i am too

ah yes. deadlines. the bane of my yvain’s life.

not him going insane then getting fucking domesticated by some random guy in a hut

WHERE DID THE LION COME FROM???

ALSO THATS NOT HOW LIONS WORK????????? training a domesticated DOG takes longer than that

suicide prevention via conveniently timed maidens in towers crying out to be saved from their impending executions, 100% effective every time

the sequence of the giant was pretty good except for the fact that the battle had an ongoing food metaphor. chrétien i don’t care if you were late for lunch i never want you to describe blood as sauce ever again, or the amount of flesh flayed from the body as enough to grill. in fact nobody ever should do this unless you’re doing cannibalism

“So the two of them rode along talking until they approached the town of Dire Adventure*.” - oh, a footnote! it’ll probably be a note on the translation cause that’s a dumb ass town name - the footnote: “This long episode… has been widely discussed as an example of social realism, with Chrétien protesting exploitation in the local silk industry;” (it then goes on to explain medieval monetary divisions. what the fuck just happened.)

“thank you for saving my town! marry my daughter and have my land!” / “no, sorry, in a bit of a rush + i can’t marry your daughter” / “i'm not letting you leave until you marry her” / “no really i have to go” / “well fuck you then!”

yvain and gawain should kiss actually. they basically did anyway

that resolution… sucked. worst part of the whole thing, easily. she didn’t want to forgive him!!! wdym they lived happily after!?!?!?

overall i really quite enjoyed that, and it’s quite clear to me that chrétien refined his craft dramatically over time. erec and enide was ok, cligés was… fine. then lancelot, then yvain, then perceval, each were so fun and each better than the last.

overall, i enjoyed the five romances quite a lot!! the action sequences were awesome, and the longer battles especially stood out. the battle with the knight of the sparrow hawk, alexander’s battle with the traitor of london, and yvain’s fight to defend lunette from the pyre in particular stand out in my mind but that’s also cause i read those recently. his writing certainly has its uh… stylistic features like his inability to saw anything with any level of conciseness ever, or his over the top personification of metaphysical concepts and the like that goes on much longer than it has any right to. i’m so glad to have read them, but i am also so excited to move on. finally.