#source: not me im not a programmer

[kates-dump]

and any good programmer knows that a lack of a system means an infinite system! well played indeed...

*commits a small mistake*

-10 value

-25 self-esteem

+ 1 Core Memory

+ Curse of Chronic Apologizing [ENDS IN 47:59:38]

[tchaikovskym]

Accidentally didn't notice a correlation and submitted an abstract that said "no significant results for that thing". Well. Academic jail for me?

[xavieremix]

okay so the tags on that last post got me feeling those melon collies so i'm just gonna. tagdump in here. slightly sensitive topics? so uh. scroll down (or press J to jump to next post). or read my thoughts like the morning paper. sorry. cheers.

[outnumberedsins]

OEA Terms - Clinical/Academic vs. Community

This post aims to provide comparisons and sources for OEA community terms and their academic counterparts. This is not a post that serves to say what terms are more valid or not, just a review. I may not be able to find references to everything, so if I say a term isn't clinical and it has been mentioned, feel free to correct me. This is a long one, so buckle in. This may be updated.

Overarching Acronyms

for the sake of clarity, im going to use 'OEA' throughout this post to serve as the general acronym.

RAMCOA - Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse

RAMCOA stems from the ISSTD developed special interest group, the "Ritual Abuse Mind Control Organized Abuse Special Interest Group" (RAMCOA SIG) in 2008. [1] This, along with OEA, is the most common acronym used. There is a lot of controversy over this term, and much of the community has begun to switch to OEA.

OEA - Organized Extreme Abuse

From the ISSTD as well, emerging in 2020 as the previous SIG was renamed to "Organized and Extreme Abuse SIG." [2] This is believed to be because of the controversy surrounding the previously named group.

SRA - Satanic Ritual Abuse

An outdated term that comes from the satanic panic era in the 1980s. Much of the content that used this term is conspiracy-like in nature. However, some early OEA research (typically from 1990-2000) and books use this acronym and are genuine, so it requires a lot of critical thinking. [3][4]

RA, SA, CRA, ORA - Ritual Abuse, Sadistic Abuse, Cult (and) Ritual Abuse, Organized Ritual Abuse

These are more casual terms used in the 1990s-early 2000s before RAMCOA was established, when 'Satanic' was no longer accurate, and when there was a search to coin a new overarching term. Despite the name, these terms were used as overarching acronyms for things outside of RA as well. I've included these all in one due to their similarities and/or due to the fact they weren't used frequently. There are also a variety of other terms mentioned that I've noted in one of the sources below.[5, CRA] [6, SA][7, RA as a general term ][8, ORA, review of other terms]

DIDMCSRA - Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mind Control, and Satanic Ritual Abuse

A barely used term from 2016 coined by a community member. It seems to have existed very briefly and didn't extend past a couple of members. However, the community aspect provided is interesting.

MC-Specific Terms

terms specific to mind control and programming

Programming

Programming generally has the same definition between the community and clinicians. It is defined as "systematic torture that blocks the victim’s capacity for conscious processing, and then employs suggestion and/or classical and operant conditioning to implant thoughts, directives, and perceptions in the unconscious mind, often in newly-formed trauma-induced dissociated identities, that force the victim to do, feel, think, or perceive things for the purposes of the programmer." [9]

TBMC/TBCMC - Trauma/Torture Based Mind Control/Trauma Based Coersive Mind Control

TBMC is a term that clinically describes programming. However, within the community, this term can expand to include other types of mind control as well. The earliest mention I can find of this term was in 2007. [9]

Scripts - "Structures."

The term 'Script' is a community term to describe a phenomenon in programming where programmers will utilize certain media to program system structure. I have a whole other post on this. The term Script itself comes from an unreliable source, svalispeaks, but the idea itself is mentioned in literature under terms such as "Structures" of the innerworld. I'm just going to leave a link to my post about it if you want to explore the sources themselves, as this one is complicated.

Side Systems / 'Left' and 'Right' Systems

Sidesystems are a community made term that describes a structure in programmed systems where a set of alters are completely separate from the others, functioning as a completely separate system. In the clinical sense, this is sometimes referred to as the "left" and "right" systems, with one side being full of programmed parts and the other being daily life parts. However, sidesystems don't necessarily have to be to the left or right of each other. I'm also going to link my post that goes into more detail about them, but it doesn't provide any more clinical sources, so just take it how you will.[10, pg 131]

Screen / Cover Memories

Screen Memories are created memories that programmers use to "cover up" the abuse. They use impossible or highly improbable events, for example, an alien abduction, to discredit the victim and hide real memories of abuse. This is also called Cover Memories/Programs, and it is the same within the community. [10, pg 197]

System Reset / Epochal Division

Epochal Division refers to the phenomenon of where major life changes cause systems to replicate some or all of their alters, with the previously existing alters either remaining active or becoming more covert/dormant. OEA survivors sometimes call this a system reset if it derives from programming, though this term is the same as an endogenic coined one and is often frowned upon when used in reference to OEA. This is first documented by Kluft in reference to polyfragmented systems. [11]

System-Hopping

In the OEA sense, system hopping refers to the action of a part traveling from a sidesystem to the main system and vice versa. I am unsure of the origin of this term in OEA spaces, but it seems to be a community-made term that shares the name with an endogenic term. As far as I'm aware, this did not originate as an OEA community term and has existed in endogenic spaces years prior between the years 2001-2003.

Program Names

i won't go through all community terms for specific types of programming, only the most common ones I've seen specifically mentioned in literature or other official sources, as well as any very common within the community. these are not the only possible programs, but this section is already very long. if desired, i can make a separate post going more in detail about all of them. Sources here are triggering and often repeated.

Greek Letters

The greek letter system of programming originated from the community and is not used in clinical literature. Many of the terms originate from very untrustworthy sources (Fritz & Svali) but have expanded to be commonplace. I have also found evidence of Greek letter terms used in the community in 2003 and 2016.

Alpha / Base

The earliest mention of 'Alpha' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, it is described as "base" programming and similar terms clinically. The term refers to newly formed splits that have gone through basic programming (ex. loyalty to the group, following orders).

Backups / Doubles

Backup programs are the presence of programmed parts meant to replace other programmed parts should they fail or be 'disobedient'. Often, these parts will be the exact same as the one they're replacing and receive the same training. Both of these are used as clinical terms, though doubles less commonly. [10, pg 110, pg 144]

Beta / Sexual

The earliest mention of 'Beta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. Within the community, this refers to any sexual programming, which is very commonly talked about academically. I'll link one seperate example. [12]

Callback / Re-Contact / Return

Return programs are very much talked about in literature, and all three of the above terms have been used both inside and outside the community. These refer to any programs created to have the victim return to the group/programmers. [13][10][14, pg 115 ]

Delta / Violence

The absolute earliest mention of 'Delta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, violence programming is referenced in multiple official sources. In the community, Delta programming refers to any programming that revolves around violence towards others. [15]

Epsilon / Nonhuman / Paranormal

Epsilon is the community term for nonhuman programming, or parts that believe they are animals or other nonhuman creatures. This is used for a variety of reasons and doesn't have a specific term, mainly just listed as "parts who believe they are animals/nonhuman."[10, pg 51][14, pg 74 ]

Internal Handlers / Programmers / Enforcers / Organizers

While "Internal Handlers" seems to be more of a community term, Internal Programmers, Enforcers, and Organizers are used in a clinical sense. All of these things refer to varients of programmed parts that internally enforce, replay, and replace programs and programmed parts in some way. These are also often called "higher ups." [10, pg 160, pg 133] [14, pg 63]

Monarch

Project Monarch refers to an alleged subset of Project MKUltra. The idea is created by a conspiracy theorist. However, within the community, "Monarch programming" either refers to: 1. The government-led mind control that occurred during MKUltra/Project Artichoke itself, or 2. Any programming that is government-controlled, government-funded, or that came from a government connected group. It is also referred to as "Monarch-like" programming.

Omega / Suicide / Self-Injury / Lethal

Omega is the community term for all types of Lethal and Self-Injury programming. This is referred to in many different ways academically, but stick to the same general theme. [15]

Organization / Hierarchy

Both in community and clinical senses, there are various types of organizational programming mentioned. Most notably, soldiers, religious alters (angels, demons, etc), and cues such as numbers, shapes or letters, and colors. Usually, these organizations will correspond to a hierarchy. This is used as a way for programmers to more easily organize the system and keep parts in check. There is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to organizational programs, so those with the same type of organization may have completely different meanings to them. [10, pg 49, pg 131 ]

Reporter / Observer

Reporter programs refer to the same thing in community and clinical terms. They describe programmed parts whose duty it is to report back to the group and/or update them on the systems habits. This often ties into callback and routine programs.[13][10]

Routine / Internal Calender

Routine is the community term for programmed behaviors where the victim does things on certain times, days, etc. Often, this pertains to rituals. Routine programming is sometimes also referred to as an 'Internal Calender' in clinical literature and can be linked with callback programming. [14, pg 57] [15]

Scramble and Varients

In this section, I'm including any sort of programming that causes specific disorentation to make this shorter. Scrambling, Flooding, Rapid Switching, Spinning, Trance, Mist, 'Dead Head,' and other terms have been created and used to describe types of programming that cause the victim to become heavily disoriented, confused, foggy, or otherwise not able to think. There are a wide variety of clinical terms used for these types of programming, but the terms most commonly used in the community are scramble, flood, and spin programming. [14 , pg 88][15][16]

Shell

Shell alters are simplistic parts that function as a 'screen' that other alters speak through. This is used to make the victim not seem multiple and mask other symptoms caused by programming and multiplicity. There is a brief mention of "shell" parts in the context of OSDD, and some non-programmed systems may have experiences that are similar. However, a programmed shell is much different from other described experiences. [14, pg 56 ]

Silence / Speaking Programs

I've included all programs that mention voice in this section. Silence and group-specific speaking programs (programmed responses) are the two I've seen mentioned clinically and may tie into reporter programs. Terms such as hyperverbal are also used in community spaces. [15]

Theta / Religious

The absolute earliest mention of 'Theta' in reference to programming I can find is from a book I don't consider a reliable source. However, it has been widely used within the community outside of that. Theta is a community term that refers to any kind of religious programming, which is well documented in the clinical sense, often just referred to as religious programming or specific examples of programmed parts.

Other / Misc Programming

Things like Body Illness Programs, misc Emotional Programs, Recycle and Amnesia programs, and Isolation programs have been listed in sources provided, among many others not listed here. These are the ones I see mentioned less frequently, and thus, I haven't given a full section. If desired, I'll create a specific post going over all of them.

System Types

as a note, i do not think systems who have been through OEA are inherently more complex. as mentioned, i personally disagree with HC-DID and its creator. this is simply grouping terms i've seen together.

C-DID / Complex DID

Complex DID is a term referring to polyfragmented DID. The term is mentioned by Bennett G. Braun and R. P. Kluft. It is not specific to OEA victims, and many use it as an alternative to polyfragmented.

EC-DID / Extremely Complex DID

EC-DID is a term initially coined by R. P. Kluft in reference to polyfragmented systems, very similar to C-DID. It is not an OEA specific term. However, ritual abuse is mentioned as a cause of said complex system structures. [11]

HC-DID / Highly Complex DID

HC-DID is a community-made term coined by someone later outed as a racist and being inappropriate with minors. For the term itself, the words "highly complex" have been used to describe some system structures and cases in literature. However, it is not a separate clinical term itself and was never said exclusively about OEA survivors. The idea that all programmed system structures are highly complex is also incorrect, as there are small systems that have been programmed. Some members of the community still use this term, while others discredit it. Please keep these things in mind when considering using this term.

RA-DID, OA-DID / Ritual Abuse DID, Organized Abuse DID

These are community terms I've seen used as an alternative to HC-DID as an attempt to create a term specific to OEA survivors. These terms are rarely used and are completely community based.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions or additions, feel free to send an ask or reply to this post. A reminder that I am not a professional, I am flawed, and I am just doing my best. This post, in particular, is likely to be updated, and I will reblog with changes.

[noondefensesquad]

omg you saw it too!! Can you give us a detailed review too pretty please? But if you prefer not to, I totally understand!!

unfortunately my memory sucks and i saw it over a week ago at this point so i'll try my best 😅

i was sitting in row N so closer to the back and there were two people with ipads taking notes on things to change which was cool because im nosy. however, they didn't make a lot of notations and from what i could read, it mostly had to do with lighting so i don't expect much to change when i go see it again in a few weeks.

i love jamie's work and have seen his productions before but was still taken aback by the darkness at the beginning of the play. you can see tom on the screens (i loved the usage of cameras and screens so they could have full use of the theater) as he's backstage and the heavy breathing put me on edge because i was like

then tom sat at the front of the stage and cried and because he is also such a pretty crier and maybe that's my own weird kink i had the biggest smile on my face. however, the girls in front of me were about to cry with him 😂 tell me this didnt do something for you!

but when fran came out, the people around me sat up. she's phenomenal and i want more people to talk about her performance because she's the star of the show. the way she delivers her lines is so funny and they have a great balance of making it feel current while delivering the original iambic penameter.

then as soon as fran and tom came face to face, the audience audibly reacted. not loud enough to be distracting but enough that you know they were into it. i was in love

lots of shakespeare stuff happened, tom took off that sweatshirt and came out in that vest and multiple people gasped. you can see his abs through the shirt 🫠 and when the nurse squeezes his arm and basically says juliet i get it, that line got a huge laugh. my internal monologue was just

this is a married man this is a married man this is a married man

and then intermission came and i talked to the people around me and this was the conversation

fran is so pretty, talented, funny, amazing, we love her

tom's haircut

tom's arms 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

is zendaya the jealous type or would she say yes that's my man (i had to pretend to be very normal about this conversation and said absolutely the jealous type i have no sources 👀)

how do we get to the stagedoor in time to see them (the amount of texts i got about those videos because i am RIGHT THERE with the most in love expression on my face)

the chemistry is unbelievable and we didn't want the show to be over

somehow we made it to the end of the play and i'll be honest, the second half is my least favorite part of the play so it was also my least favorite to watch. i love how silly and romantic the first half can be and the second half is more doom and gloom. i will say, when this exchange happens

"will you speak well of him that killed your cousin?"

"shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?"

my friend and i audibly said "oop" and that got laughs in our section. the best thing about this play was their delivery and when i read r&j, i couldve never imagined how much fun it could be coming from jamie.

anyway, at the end, we rushed out to the stage door and it was insane to see how the street cleared when tom left. and security was the best. really such sweet guys and if you see them being mean to people, they spend the whole time giving instruction is the friendliest way so those people deserved it.

the we got to speak with fran who is the sweetest and signed my customized r&j book with her face on the cover and my programme

can't wait to go see it again in a few weeks. i wish i could have every second imprinted on my brain

[edgelordhoard]

hey im planning to switch over to linux and need advice from the smart people of tumblr, please and thank you. my messages are open so if you need any info to help me out hmu.

General Questions:

im seeing everyone saying ubuntu, mint, and ziron are "the #1 go to versions for beginners" but like... which is it?

i also hear about security being the best with linux but nothing about it coming with antiviruses. does it come with one like how windows comes with defender or do you install that yourself, or is it something different entirely?

all the sources i look at talk about downloading and installing linux but i want to know what to expect when first getting a prebuilt pc with the OS, like the system 76 pcs. do you have to set it up like when you install it or is it as easy as getting any new computer?

i know nothing about coding and im planning to get a computer from system 76 since it seems like the best, and its by far the only source that only comes with linux, and since my current one was pretty much ruined by someone i thought could fix it after a faulty outlet fried its insides, he didnt and made it worse.

so yeah, which linux version do you suggest for a computer moron, any suggestions for computers would be nice (max price is $1,300), i'll put the specs and my uses under the read more.

Preferences:

It ONLY comes with Linux. I despise what Windows has become and don't want to even bother dual booting cause I feel with the switchovers happening they're gonna get salty and make something that'll turn your computer into a bomb if you use Linux with it.

Kinda beefy but not a supercomputer. I don't use AI stuff, I'm not a programmer, but I do frequently play modded Minecraft with my friends and run smps for my Discord servers. I recently switched to Modrinth cause ATLauncher had been giving me trouble. Curseforge is out of the question.

At the most, I'll be playing VRChat with friends while having Spotify or Youtube in the background for music and Discord open in case someone needs my help in one of my servers, similar goes for running one of my SMPs just minus the VR.

Gaming Questions:

I also play VR games often, especially BeatSaber (modded ofc im not insane), and I have Half Life Alyx that I haven't been able to finish cause my already dead and gutted PC struggles to run it anymore even with the lowest settings. My current headset is a two feet in the grave, barely hanging in there, held by tape Oculus Rift S thats as old as my current PC whos also dead. I plan to get a new headset soon and had the Quest 2 recommended to me by friends. If theres better alternatives that isn't Meta please let me know.

I'm a DBD addict. Does it really run DBD or was that just the one guy from the one video I saw.

My friends also often drag me onto Roblox so I need to know if that'll be an option for Linux too.

I know I could probably look up all this myself but every source is outdated from years ago or they all say different things and it just confuses me.

Art Questions:

My current tablet is a Wacom, I got it before knowing how greedy the company actually is, and I plan to switch to a Huion after this tablet dies on me. If compatibility is an issue with it please let me know what to do about that.

I usually use Medibang but I don't think it runs on Linux from what I've seen, if I'm wrong lemme know. Am I going to have to switch all the files over to something else before getting a Linux or are there programs I can use that'll load them?

I also write and need to know if I need to switch all my files to something else before porting it all over to the Linux PC. I just used the default notepad and document programs on Windows.

But yeah, that's all my questions for now. If I think of any more I'll just edit this post. Sorry if I sound super dumb for all this, I tried finding information sources myself but like I said all of them weren't too moron friendly or had relevant information. Most sources I found were articles or reddit forums from years ago so I thought "Hey, why don't I just go ask the computer nerds directly?" so here I am.

[blackvahana]

Hey, love your blog! I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about the mindscape, headspace, etc. is it a place in the astral or somewhere in between, and does it count as astral work/travel to go there. Thankyou :))

Hi, thank you!

I'll answer a bit out of order for a reason... I wouldn't count it as astral work/etc, I personally classify is under "mindwalking".

It's rough, in my experience basically every plane including this one is on a spectrum between Material and Mental. Every one is... both, at least if you can traverse it, which makes things confusing. However, just because both the ocean and the rain are experiences of "being in water", that doesn't make differentiating them unimportant - likewise just because technically even the physical plane is partly mental, that doesn't mean differentiating astral and mental are no longer important.

I answer classifications first mostly because I think its important that astral projection/etc is "Astral" not "mindspace" projection, "astral" is a term used for specific types of spaces in the way "physical" is. If "astral" and "mental" work were to be classified as the same thing, genuinely we may as well class "physical" things as "mental" too. None of that is saying you're (insert some negative word here) for asking about them, specifically Im lingering on it because the classification in itself is the biggest source of definitive lines drawn between things.

I'll say it this way: I guess its like asking about... Is a mountain a part of a valley? No. There is definitely a part where they are indistinguishable - but mountain climbers climb mountains, rivers settle in valleys, so while you can walk the line between these two things if youre aiming for Astral work (say: mountain climbing) youre not doing the same thing as mindwalking (say: river settling in a valley).

All that out of the way, I absolutely can tell you about those things in my experience. Mindspaces/headspaces (the only distinction I draw between terms is headspace is, in my experienced, used for systems and... as much as I know plurality comes about through many means, I am actually very big on medical terms being left to those that have medical disorders. Is headspace as much a medical term as system is? no, but Id rather stay out of it and just leave that term alone personally) (thats to say theyre likely similar or the same, but I cant talk on what gets called a headspace).

Mindspaces are complicated. They're essentially heavily rooted in the mental, which is to say the elemental mental... highly influenced by thought, extensions of self, mental is hard to define. That said, as I said earlier, theres places where mental and Astral blur. I actually have a portal in my mindspace to a place in Astral Mongolia, but that... involves weaving reality in... well. ok. TLDR its currently not super connected because it involves stitching a hole from unreality (not. nothingness, not nonreality) into reality, which is loosely like birthing something from nothing - but possible given the ties between them

Mindwalking does involve quite a few sort of... similar skills to AP and Astral work though. Not just that, but it shares similarities on a surface level IE you can meet spirits there as well as people you know irl, and so on. It is.... highly programmable

I think - on that note - a quick detour is important. The mental can be programmed to be incredibly realistic or absolute nothingness. Reality Shifting in all my experience - including creating and going into an "alternate reality" out of my control with my husband - is a Mental function. Dreams (everything from nonsensical flashes of memories, to weird unlucid adventures, to nightmares, to lucid dreaming) are Mental functions, "alternate realities" shifted into with RS, mindspaces, as well as autonomous other people/servitors/i-cant-stand-the-word-tulpa-but-thats-what-it-is-colloquiallys, manifestations of memories, visions/autovisions, as well as what Ive had in two mindspaces now, portals to other things including the astral, are all mental things... And so with that complexity hopefully its more understood when i say that one can go to the mindspace like they can project

its a different process but can be done with the same process, if that makes sense. You can lie down and get into the void state or whatever and "project" into the mental. That makes it complicated and hard to differentiate - if youre treating them as the same. if youre not its much easier to navigate. So, TLDR: Mindspace is a function of the mental where one creates a mental space that is sustained outside their image conjuring (if you put a book down in the mindspace and forget, it should still be there. if you put a book down in imagination while youre imagining youre in a place, it shouldnt still be there when you get back - mindspace is a stable mental space, imagination is a simulation of a space. technically both are simulations but mindspace becomes passively simulated and imagination is actively simulated), and theres a difference between astral and mental work (mindwalking is a type of mental work), but they do get mixed up and arent quite fully separate in many ways

[drdemonprince]

A bit late to the party and a tad bit longer than planned(sorry), but I dream of programming my own living sex toy.

We would be roommates, my flat (that's the most unrealistic thing about the scenario right here lol) that I rent very cheap near a college so I can pick the hottest person applying, ideally a new student so no family or friends here. Once they move in I slowly start manipulating them. Playing hypno audios when they sleep, putting light aphrodisiacs in their food, gaslighting them on progressively bigger things to get them relying on me more and more.

I want to pretend to be their friend and have long talks where I slowly convince them that their family is abusive and they should cut contact. It would be easy considering I am already blasting them on many other fronts and at that point they would be too stressed trying to keep up with college, while becoming too dumb and horny to offer much resistance. I hope they do though just so I can stop the argument via hypnotically dropping them and leaving them more untethered and confused than before. I actually want them to freak out while we fuck so I can stop, keep my cock in them and see how the ,by then intense, programming slowly pulls them under again and they start rocking into it. Actively see the fight disappear.

Once it is in deep the actual toy part begins. I want to programm certain settings into it so via simple triggers I can have it switch between modes. Sometimes I would want an actual doll, no ability to move themselves, sometimes a puppy desperate to be filled, maybe even allow it some higher function back so I can have it work when I don't need it.

The power of having someone utterly under my control is the obvious kink here but far hotter to me would be the knowledge that it was involuntary and that I programmed it. The ensuing sex isn't the main focus. I would want the toy to respond like it's enjoyable, seeing it in pain sparks no joy, the hotness comes from knowing it only enjoys it because I programmed it like that.

That's why I want to be able to sometimes "reset" it only to pull it down again. That moment in it's eyes when it glides into trance would be the hottest thing ever. I would always want it to feel pleasure, the catch being that the pleasure wouldn't be there without my programming. Also the thought of a hypersensitive toy coming simply from pleasuring me or me telling it to come is hot.

This is also why I won't look for a CNC partner for now. Having an actual human involved that could resist and judge takes away a lot of the appeal. My main source of shame isn't wanting to corrupt, it's wanting to have an actual human following my every command and order instead of having a partner I share equal responsibility with and of whom I take care when they need it (instead of putting a dildo in them and storing them away when useful). That said I actually want that equal living together too, I would just not have sex with that person, because vanilla sex holds no appeal to me and I actually do care about consent IRL.

Sadly I have a hard time finding good hentai or comics where the main focus is the corruption itself not the fucking afterwards but I make do.

Anyways, thanks for letting us share these things. Some of the other asks that were sent in were incredibly hot and it was nice actually writing my fantasies down for the first time and claiming them as mine, not just a fic I wrote as a prompt.

ANON YOU ARE KILLING ME THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER. this is one of my top fantasies. and largely what some of my favorite hypno erotica that i've written is about. i wanna live this scenario for real. this is why i'm saving for an early retirement dog. so i can be someone's brainwashed live in hole. hit me up when you are emotionally prepared to be a 24/7 sadistic owner for real

okay. im gonna compose myself. thank you for sharing. but seriously call me

[irrevocablecondition]

ran here from the last question sorry -- i always thought tiktok pays so well! how are influencers using it as their main source (not that i think youre lying im just curious)

you ran SO fast omg hello usain. also woah the double dash? i'm a big - fan but -- ?? you might be putting me onto smth here

putting it under the cut because ew yucky money talk

i'm SO open about money so i literally don't give a fuck sharing all this.

essentially: tiktok moved from the Creator Fund to the Creator Rewards Programme in a lot of countries which is so much stingier and awful.

RPM: this stands for reward per mile (1000 views) and it's different on each video !! they take into account a lot of things but the main ones are average watch time, search performance, regional distribution of views, what % of the views are highly engaged followers, advertising values. the HIGHESTTTT my rpm has ever been is 0.36. so for every 1000 views that fit all of these (and more criteria) on that ONE specific video, i get 36p. and then the next highest is literally 0.21

like it's PENNIES.

AND this only applies to: videos seen on the fyp - if you go through my account to watch them? doesn't count - and videos over 1 minute long. so even that one with 36p every thousand views? it's done now. because it's no longer really on the fyp because it's been more than the couple of days that videos actually stay there.

so what these influencers do (amicharlise spoke about this recently) is brand deals !! nearly all of their money comes from brand deals - esp because a lot of influencers don't do 1 min + ?? i'm thinking people like tallulah and that gang, it's usually quick videos besides GRWM and stuff like that. so it's mostly brand deals that actually give them enough money to use tt as their job

subs are different !! you can choose from tiers: i chose the lowest of £3 and it all goes towards surgery anyway, and people choose between a one off or a monthly payment. there was also the option to put in your own price but £3 was the minimum and what sub gives you - sub chat, sub only lives, sub only videos and something else that i can't actually remember. OH!!! stickers. stickers to use in tt dms.

like tt does NOT pay people unless they have a lot of subs and they put the price higher, and idk if yall have noticed but theyve added ads to peoples videos? yeah, that doesnt go to the creator. it goes to tt.

so it's always quite funny when i get dms or comments yelling at me for profitting off of fandom because it's like,,, buddy. the amount that i have made (including subs) to go towards my surgery? doesn't even cover the overnight hospital parking 😭😭 ACTUALLY LMAO: each stitch that my surgeon uses is £75. it does not even cover ONE STITCH.

LIKEEEEE i promise yall i am not exploiting people for money 😭😭 "tHe PrIvAtIsAtIoN oF fAnDoM" get outtttt of my dms 😭😭 it's not coming out of your pockets 😭😭 (unless you voluntarily choose to support via sub which gives you access to a PERSONAL discord, not a FANDOM one, and then that is the privatisation of me, not fandom. OH ALSO!! i have said that i won't be doing sub only vids etc because i feel bad restricting stuff from wider fandom)

so uhhh yah :D

tt does NOT pay well if you're in one of the countries that changed to CRP instead of creator fund

[muqingapologist]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "muqingapologist "?

i go through phases with fanfiction, wavering between never reading any and then reading it consistently over a period of time. so my ao3 account only has bookmarks from the last year or so, so i’ll just include those! i did read some reeeally good fics for pairings that i was really into in the past, but i won’t include them here

as for my username, i used to have the apologist format with another character for my finsta, and i because obsessed over mu qing in my recent read through of tgcf. so i’ll defend him from the haters heh.

ok fics. no particular order.

1. Resurrection by heyholmesletsgo

one thing about me is that im going to eat up every songxiao fix-it fic i come across. this one i think follows the logic of the untamed rather than just mdzs, but i don’t think it’s a big change either way. this fic is so beautiful i thought about it for weeks afterward. it’s pretty short, but the slow, gentle pining as xiao xingchen returns to the world, the way they figure out communication, it’s all so good.

2. some new beginning by liesmyth

i got into good omens after season 2 being released this past summer, and i have to say the fics have been very hit or miss for me. the characterizations in fics are always some strange combination of characterizations of season 2 crowley and season 1 crowley and book crowley. this is post-season 1 though so this isn’t really an issue. i loved this one. i think my favorite form of aziracrow is when they’re both just idiots following the momentum of their feelings without really realizing the significance of their actions until, well, they live together hahah. highly recommend this one for that dynamic! it’s also pretty short.

3. Protagonist Rehabilitation Programme by cinnamonsnaps

this one i actually read entirely on my flight from japan last week after randomly stumbling across it. it’s an SVSSS AU where the original luo binghe transmigrates(?) into shen yuan’s world. im not usually a fan of AU fiction because i think much of the time, the events of the source material are very much what shape the personalities of the characters, but this one works for me. it’s so good at matching the tone and writing style of mxtx while being funny in its own way too.

4. hometown comforts by nyoomerr

this is another bingqiu one, post-canon, and it’s an identity reveal. it’s my ideal identity reveal fic because it’s incredibly low stakes and binghe is just curious about shen yuan’s world. no system warnings and stuff. just bonding. im a simple gal.

5. still waters by marichen

went through a beefleaf phase where i read a bunch of fics. this was the best one by far. unmatched. beefleaf, imo, is a very difficult couple to write for. there’s so much to unpack. it’s hard to make their relationship feel genuine because so much care needs to go into shi qingxuan trusting he xuan again. in this fic, it is the classic he xuan lingering around, but also we see sqx building his own life back up on his own, as well. it’s he xuan pov. so good so good.

6. Bring it back, bring it back [don’t take it away from me] by wednesdaisy

another good omens fic, also post-season 1, aziraphale pov. in this one, crowley fucks off to new zealand because he thinks his relationship with aziraphale is fantasy and it’s too painful to keep seeing him after everything they’ve been through. and aziraphale tracks him down and has to convince crowley that he does indeed want him in his life and loves him and ah, it’s really sweet.

7. the round moon by orphan_account and the hazy sun by orphan_account

this is a 2 part quanyin fic (pre-canon qyz for part 1, post-canon yin yu pov for part 2). i’m also incredibly picky about quanyin fics. this one was so beautifully done. it didn’t make quan yizhen feel overly-childish as an adult like many others do, and it made yin yu’s conflicting feelings about him so vivid and believable. highly recommend for quanyin nation out there.

8. This Is Me Trying by Piper_Emerald

another post-canon identity reveal. this one is a little more angsty than the one above but also so well done! a deep part of me needs an identity reveal to happen for them at some point hahaha…like binghe is smart ok…he suspects already.

9. some good mistakes by Lise

everyone forgive me for not really having any wangxian recs. my post-untamed fic phase was on my old ao3 account i can’t find. anyway, i remember this one being really good. wei wuxian goes missing. jiang cheng pov, teaming up with lan zhan to find wwx. post-canon untamed. personal preference but i love post-canon untamed wangxian fics the most because i just reading about all the ways they might get together.

10. Not Easily Conquered by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFears

(i keep getting error when i post the link but it’s on ao3)

i’m including this one because i’d be lying if it wasn’t always in my top 10. i never think about stevebucky these days and cannot stand marvel, but damn this fic holds up like 8 years later!! 3-parter, AU where steve never gets frozen but bucky is still the winter soldier. told over decades. some cringe US cold war propaganda but ignoring that…a beautiful story. if you ever carried any attachment for these two, worth the read.

so that’s my very inaccurate too 10 fics. thank you for asking so i have an excuse to discuss hahaha.

[h0]

incredibly happy to fulfill my decade-long dream of launching my own website! :D

so i'm not the best programmer and frankly i'm still learning web development but i couldn't wait any longer so i set up a very minimal site with only a couple features: language selection and display of three different poems of mine! i wrote and translated and made the associated image to them too :) if an actual web developer checked the source code they'd pass out but idgaf im happy with that i accomplished!! <3

i'm not fully comfortable with calling these poems, as i've always believed that poetry is beautiful and evoking, and i don't think i can describe those as that hahaha, so i can maybe just say three different writings of mine and abstract art to go along!

i've grown quite dissatisfied with the internet this psst year and even using tumblr feels rough sometimes, so i'm trying to spend my time better by learning new things and making art that i like :3

if you check it out please please pleaseee tell me what you think and if you got feedback to share with me, it would make my day <3 also this was NOT developed for mobile so if youre checking it on your phone it'll prolly look like shit lol!!

click here to check it out!! thank you!! :D <3

[kohakhearts]

hey taylo my bestie hello please elaborate on the goh cubone jn subtle storytelling thingy

COMING TO THIS SUPER LATE SORRY MAN SCHOOL WAS KICKING MY ASS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING. IM SO FUCKING GLAD YOU ASKED.

ok so jn015. our intro to goh's family unit, notably his parents. goh explains his dad is a systems engineer and his mom is a programmer. they work together and run their own company (and appear to be a two-man team, when we actually see them at work). right off the bat, ash is surprised that goh has to call to warn his parents he's coming home. goh essentially says he doesn't want to be a bother to them. he's very casual about the whole thing. it apparently doesn't bug him at all. in fact, he goes out of his way to get them and his grandmother gifts and generally seems to be looking forward to seeing them.

he IS disappointed when they turn out not to be home when he gets there, but in true pokemon anime fashion, this is not dwelled on for long. he says it's fine, he doesn't want to make his parents worry, and also his parents are great and scorbunny's gonna love them. so instead of moping about it, he goes out and gets involved in his little park adventure, where he runs into a cubone being targeted by a bunch of mankey.

this is the only time in the main-line anime that cubone's dex entry is given. it is not the first time a cubone has shown up, though, which is...strange, but i'll roll with it. here's what the dex says (sourced from bulbapedia):

Cubone, the Lonely Pokémon. A Ground type. Cubone wears a skull as a helmet, concealing its face as it sheds tears for its long-lost mother. It cries loudly to express its loneliness. It also always carries a long, thick bone.

REALLY interesting choice for Pokemon Of The Day (literally bc it's also the who's that pokemon feature) for the episode where we're introduced to goh's parents.

it's also like...obviously not the only time where we see goh decide to help a pokemon, but i do think that his captures (especially early on in the series) that are framed in this way (i.e. they span over the course of an episode, wherein he befriends the mon before catching it. he doesn't have many catches like this in the series!!) seem to serve a purpose of like, really emphasizing certain traits he shares. before this, we had scorbunny - who is a bit of a loner, kind of the "odd one out," but is determined and stubborn and doesn't really want charity, either (but latches very quickly on to the first human who shows a genuine interest in it). now, we have cubone. the lonely pokemon.

i feel that the WAY he approaches cubone is...interesting? like he's sad for it. his facial expressions are very telling. and this is the first time we see him choosing to help a pokemon without ash around (something we know he never really would've done before meeting ash; and i've mentioned this before, but i do think a lot of his "well, you can't just help pokemon because you think they need it, they need to learn to be independent and help themselves" attitude stems from the fact that he was forced to be independent and help himself from a young age. so i think it's actually pretty profound that one of his first major overtures to a pokemon without ash pushing him is in a situation where he is acting more the parent to his parents than the other way around. he's literally on the way to delivering them dinner to work. and his gift for them is gloves, because it's cold). that tells me he is really affected by what he's seeing. he's empathetic to it (he also never tells it to stop crying or anything when they're looking for its bone, which honestly doesn't seem all that in-character for him at this point. just look at the way he talks to scorbunny a few episodes later when it's trying to learn ember, right?)

anyway, this being the only time it gets a dex entry is already like, kind of in your face enough imo. but then he also catches it. and at the end of the episode, when his parents are talking in the kitchen (and notably they are, again, separate from the other characters - more so onlookers than active participants in the family), his dad specifically says this

like i don't know how much more obvious than that they can get with saying they were trying to draw a parallel between goh and cubone. but lonely - anyone can feel lonely. that's just one aspect of the comparison. cubone is lonely because it misses its mother. because it's an orphan.

isn't it a little...ironic...that goh's parents would be the ones drawing the comparison in the end? but that's the point, i think. i mean, goh's not an orphan. but his parents chose to continue living a lifestyle that reinforced his loneliness and ensured a degree of separation between them. they share with each other their concerns for him, but never voice those to him. obviously there's love on both sides, but emotionally speaking - there's next to no connection there. goh idolizes and idealizes his parents, and goes out of his way to take care of them; in turn, his parents share in a secret concern for his wellbeing and compensate for their guilt at making him feel isolated by supplying him with whatever they can materially (mr six computer monitor set-up in his bedroom at age 7. what the fuck). so he's not literally an orphan...but emotionally? well. that's a whole other can of wurmples :pensive:

anyway, tl;dr he's not a real orphan. but i'll give him the honour because he does kinda have that orphan complex going for him <3

[flores-desyatov]

I wish they would do smtg about their RD programme, they're great skaters and they can do lotsa things and it makes me wonder like why they feel a lit bit reserved when it comes on doing the actual thing. Their last 2 RD has more life into it! I used to thing to myself that idk this sports and how its being judge (the points) but as a fan i feel like they're being let down.

https://www.tumblr.com/flores-desyatov/763437680462807040/i-watch-the-whole-denis-ten-ice-dance-part-every?source=share

Then i read this and felt like wow i really dont know this sport at all! Like i tried reading all these critics and how judges give points (in various site) but i cant get it and its not helping when im not feeling the programme. I wanna like them i do and im dissappointed in myself.

their FD on the other hand was amazing. It could hv been much more amazing i think because the ending was a bit disconnected btween them. Idk. Sorry for ranting.

There's no time to make any big changes to either program before Skate America, unfortunately. I don't know how long it takes them to learn something new on the ice and get comfortable enough with it but when Bella has talked about it I don't recall them making any big changes so close to a competition specially after coming back from one.

The only thing I would change for SkAm is his pants (to a darker blue or black) because I get what some folks have been saying about her blending into him.

I like so many parts of this program but this time around, even with the costumes, I'm struggling to love it. I think it's because (to me) there's no cohesion between the songs so I don't know what the vibe is supposed to be plus it seems like they're doing a lot of dance moves they're not comfortable with. Hopefully they can smooth out this program a bit as the season progresses 🤞🏽

I also struggle to understand this sport most of the time! You're not alone there. I'm trying to find dynamic ways to understand it and when I do I'll share them here 🤍

[greenplantlizard]

go-busters 1-6!!!

in a world fully reliant on a single source of miracle energy

the honest to god millennium bug seeks to steal that energy to help it escape from another dimension, via use of a frenchman and a bunch of household appliances (their name should totally be Bugrus or Buglass or something along those lines right, officially naming them Vaglass is a Toei Romanisation fuck-up, right?)

only three people with highly generic powers and highly unusual weaknesses have the power to play the highest stakes game of tower defence ever devised

their name,,,,,, tokumei sentai go-busters!!!!!

and in the part of the show IM watching this for, three robots try not to let their anxieties over their idiot buddies kill them

yeah the main trio of this one haven't quiiite grabbed me as characters yet

i dont dislike them or anything, i just haven't felt a spark yet

except with maybe hiromu, it's interesting to have a red ranger who's kinda blunt and standoffish, even if none of the others are compensating for his humourlessness really

the buddyroids though? hell yeah i would watch a show that's just them fighting enter's ability to speak terrible french

enter does at seem pretty charismatic though, and while messiah is a very Generic Big Bad kinda floating head, his tendency towards screaming his orders is fun to me

i do enjoy the established mechanics at play here, though i will admit to being a little worried that the show might get hamstrung by how rigid they are

how many ways can you have episodes structured around a mech battle to stop the villains doing the Big Succ before it gets boring?

i could be wrong, and i hope i am, but hey

however, that mech action? fucking COOL

i am not immune to SICK GIANT ROBOT JUMPS

so yeah, cautiously optimistic might be the best way to describe me going into this

despite the fact that you may have noticed i dont have as much as usual to say about the individual episodes this time

other than the fact that if my co-worker and surrogate brother broke a wall trying to punch my head in while acting like a cartoon villain, i too would burst into tears and get rather nervous around him for a while

super sentai, giving kids a fear of hospitals and injections since 1976

relatable scenarios: have YOU ever become a cartoon villain if you grip to hard? have YOU ever collapsed from lack of sweets? or have YOU ever frozen at the sight of a chicken? we have a special-ops programme just for you!!!

damn these guys got their base invaded in episode 6, goranger is shaking their heads in disappointment

IT'S TIME FOR SPECIAL BUSTER

i have been warned never to translate go-buster oh to go-buster king, i wonder why

[codes-and-stuffs]

i mean. whats the moral ground on gen ai if it 100% IS genuinely home programmed as claimed?

i admittedly am not a programmer, i don't know how much work it'd realistically take to create something like that on your own or what other stuff it might be referencinging & take from but i remember hearing that the program being used for the smp took like. 7 yearsish to develop as a passion project?? which at least would predate chatgpt's public release in 2022 by about 4.

i guess the real question for me personally would then be what was the AIs training material. if its all original or public domain, then (beyond ecological impact lol) i dont..... see an ethical issue ig? idk, whats your take?

okayyyy okay hang on i'll pull out my notes on ethical concerns with AI and put that all below the cut, it got a bit long (but TLDR for whats under there: i don't think the ethical concerns are as significant in this case if the one source we have is true. it is just one source tho)

but honestly my main gripe with it right now is just that i dont like it 😭 i think watching a streamer talk to NPCs that sound like AI isnt interesting. i think NPCs immediately forgetting relationships theyre building with characters is predictable as hell and frustrating to watch. i think the similar tones and mannerisms with every NPC is boring. i respect the difficulty of making that on one's own but that doesn't really make me like it any better im afraid!

(and ye, ik, if i don't like it i can just not engage. which is what im doing! i closed stream and im just going to tune into other things LMAO im just complaining on my own little blog away from maintags)

welcome to Under The Cut sorry this is so long

i want to disclaim i'm not an authority on this at all, i don't know what theyre using over on misadventures smp, my knowledge on this is limited to what i've been studying at uni

anyway over my notes. the key ethical issues we're usually looking at with genAI and LLMs in general:

the data being input into the model can really affect the results. we've seen genai have preference towards male, white people in many cases, as well as other privileged groups, that's not rlly news. with this smp, if the data was all prewritten or at least checked by the programmers, this shouldnt turn up as an issue and - tmk - it doesn't really have scope to in this smp

data privacy is a pretty big issue, as well as scraping data without consent. re: the previous point tho, that would theoretically not be an issue here, awesome stuff

this isn't something brought up a lot in online discussions, but there is a social impact to using ai that's aiming to be convincingly human. i don't reallllly think the npcs are very convincing, so it's unlikely to affect the streamers and probably most of the audience and therefore i really dont think this should be a huge issue. like, here i'm talking the effects of anthropomorphising machines and the unintentional spread of misinformation, but the NPCs seem solidly . fake. if that makes sense. and im assuming here that the audience is mature enough to understand that (tho idk? does a youtube audience skew younger than a twitch chat? in that case it might be different)

misuse of ai for the purpose of misinfo doesn't rlly apply here i think, they're just doing minecraft, so i'm ruling that out

these models are usually a black box in terms of how they work, so it's hard to see if there Are issues. i genuinely have no idea how this specific program works because it seems the only source is one of martyn's streams, and i don't really expect him to get into the details of how it was programmed or whether the model functions as a black box like most genai. idk on this one

environmental impact.. i mean this one is pretty frequently talked about LMAO and this post (which i received from a reply, ty o7) about what martyn said claims that the data pool isnt large enough to cause environmental concern. with such a small userbase (aka just the server members) im willing to believe both the training + use dont have such a massive impact on the environment, especially when we're already looking at an industry thats based on streaming video in high quality over the internet, like that's already an significant environmental impact in itself is it not?

i guess there's an element of replacing humans with AI here. uh - this is a tricky one to speak on, because in the end i'm not qualified to decide if an smp is unethical because they're using genai (or similar) rather than employing people to play NPCs. goodness knows hiring people for non-streamed roles hasn't always worked out (qsmp had a lot of issues with this, and that's well-documented on this site). this one's beyond my scope a bit tho, i do computer ethics more than workplace ethics, but i do think that's a conversation worth having too

finally, the question of "hey, is this stealing from artists/writers?". if what's been said by martyn is true, it doesn't sound like it! in which case, fantastic!

okay now i've gone through all my notes, theyre not rlly comprehensive for every genai issue but that's all im willing to get into atp. idk i do want to go back and watch this martyn stream since it's The Only Source rn so im turning off rbs on this post bc i dont want this post going anywhere until i actually have facts LMAO i just wanted to answer this ask for now

quick note on it taking 7 years: i think that doesn't rule out the possibility that this is still a form of generative AI. 7 years is an interesting length of time, and i say that because that's literally when they started making GPTs! i rlly want to hear more on the devlopment of that one, but 7 years ago is when the foundations for the current LLM stuff came about (tmk? correct me if im wrong here) so i wouldn't be surprised if the end product has a lot in common. idk im just guessing about here tho bc again i really really dont know any of the technical details of their program, take that all with a grain of salt, 7 years is just a rlly specific number and i wanted to draw that connection because i dont think predating chatgpt prevents it from being pretty similar!

my whole point isn't really potentially ethical issues tho, i'm just deeply tired of seeing genai such as chatgpt or similarly trained models everywhere. if nothing else, it feels distasteful, and i dont really like it LOL simple as that

[kiawren]

will still selfship with kiawe after you turn 18? (Not a trick question or anything just genuinely curious)

I guess I've thought about this before🤔 Kia/we's maximum age is twenty becuz in the games they say that the max age that a trial captain can be is 20 before they retire, and at some point he mentioned considering hiker david to be his successor as trial captain becuz he's gonna retire soon

Also I started shipping with him at 15 and my selfship experienced has changed a lot since then and matured as well, so it's kinda like we grew older together and our dynamic has reflected that too especially cuz I choose to include aspects of his game character in the ship, like him working a part-time job and saving up to study what he wants in university.

Also most of the time I don't engage with the source material anymore, sometimes I wonder if I made him diverge a lot from it especially cuz in my selfship I'm unsure of whether he Would do that or if i just want to experience that in a relationship so I project it there. What I mean is sometimes I feel I don't exactly selfship with his given character but more like I adapted him to be my own fictional person that has his name and look and personality but I added a lot of my personal things so he fits what I want to receive in the selfship, in this way it becomes very realistic to me and that's why I feel like when I'm 17 he's 17 when I'm 18 he'd be 18, becuz our dynamic is reflected by what I'm experiencing and hoping to look for as a coping mechanism. As in when Im in university that will reflect in my selfship, I mean actually it already does becuz my self insert is on a school programme abroad to do conservation research. And then I can imagine talking about mature worldviews with him that I wouldn't have thought of when I was 15 becuz I hadn't learned these things in school yet and grew as a person. Okay what I mean is that the kia/we i selfship with is more of a projection of my comfort mechanism that grows with me, more than a constant character I copy pasted from the source, so he'd be my age.. So whenn I'm 18 he'd be 18 and it still makes sense for him to be cuz his max age is 20. Yerp. But yah actually I'm at a loss for how would I rawdog life without him but that's for future me lol