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boygenesis · 5 years ago

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All the botanical asks you haven’t got yet

lia that’s so many 😳

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls?

soundcloud, i don’t have the money for vinyls, but if i had the money for them then vinyls

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read?

i can’t think of any lol

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets?

yeah

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month?

i hung out with my friends yesterday! also November 5th was incredibly funny

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself?

i promised to be nicer to myself, and to exercise every day, and to get a job, and to write more

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

have not kissed

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits?

sort of?

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?

a bit tired! also a bit annoyed at the universe because I keep dropping and breaking things lmao (I dropped a glass lid everywhere and then kept stepping on glass as I was cleaning it, and then spilled water everywhere)

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having?

recurring apocalypse dream, I don’t remember the specifics

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now?

chocolate

lavender dream; turn ons/offs?

uhhhh i don’t like most perfume smells, or specific sudden loud noises

water lily; when was the last time you cried? why?

i cried a little bit yesterday when I was watching bly manor, but it wasn’t a full on cry

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

no, but I don’t expect one, i’ve moved on

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream?

both

desert rose; do you like yourself?

a little bit more every day. two steps forward one step back

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

nope

night owl; how many countries have you visited?

5, i think? excluding one flight layover

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

yes! in Germany

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?

idk if i’ve done anything really

lantana; what’s on your mind right now?

the mini nanowrimo i thought I would start, that I haven’t written anything for (10k words in two weeks)

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius sun, sagittarius rising, scorpio moon

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

1. i love rollercoasters, 2. i love love, 3. i cut my hair the other day, 4. i overheat easily, 5. i am a bad actor

daphne; do you believe in karma?

yep! even if not in a spiritual sense, I think that being kind can bring kindness back to you, and being cruel can bring cruelty back to you

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

perhaps, but I might be wrong

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

someone I once knew, they are good at making boundaries

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

i don’t remember

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

hannibal played by mass mikkelsen

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

hmmmm 1920s? 1980s?

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not?

i would want to be immortal until I want to die. there’s so many things that I want to experience! but I don’t want to live FOREVER, that’s too long

primula; what makes you sad?

a lot of things. there’s a lot to be sad about, especially this year

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

it’s typical of the holidays, i’ve spent the morning watching netflix

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

damn idk that’s a loaded question. next

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

yes lol many

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

honestly? rise of the guardians

violet; favorite tv show?

doctor who is my favourite comfort show, but i have a lot of shows that i love like dghda and bly manor

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

visiting a theme park with someone i love, and then we have a picnic, maybe on the beach. it’s sunny and there’s a nice breeze. then we go for a drive along the coast and listen to music together. we get home and it starts storming so we hang out together and watch movies

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

knitting! i started a blanket in the Irish moss stitch :) i like writing too. i also like baking and cooking, and i sometimes pick up guitar and ukulele and duolingo. um also games.

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

there’s a bit in the book thief by markus zusak where Death describes the colours of the sky

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

can’t think of anything rn

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

i’ve only “dated” one person and they were my age. i’m not really into dating people older or younger

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

i literally cannot remember and I'm too lazy to try and remember

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

dr doofenshmirtz

magnolia; coffee or tea?

both! i love coffee!! i also love tea!! i’m a multifaceted person

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

extremely loved. but if i had a lot of money i could help a lot of people

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

both!

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

don’t judge me lmao i am addicted to asmr, it makes my brain go brrrr

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

all the time

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

yellow, but also pink, and blue, and so many others

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

yes, they always try to be good people. also i just generally get along with them

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

perhaps. i think so yeah. self diagnosed. i’ve gotten pretty good at dealing with it over the years

clover; how would your friends describe you?

uhhhhhh idk quirky? �� i don’t know.

dandelion; do you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert?

introvert, i’m good at spending a lot of time alone, and that’s how i recharge. but i still enjoy people’s presence. i think the words extrovert and introvert are uhhh misnomers? it’s like asking if you prefer the darkness or the brightness. there’s different shades of light on a spectrum

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

asmr but i’m only tentatively embarrassed

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

weird, eclectic, trying

lotus; best memory as a child?

can’t remember much, but i can remember that time i went on the green lantern rollercoaster at movie world like 4 times

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

brown, dark brown/black

dahlia; do you like crystals?

yeah, not really in jewellery (it tends to look a little tacky (not always!)) but i like crystals :)

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

stop overall suffering. it’s not one thing, it’s a series of things: war, poverty, food deserts, etc. um if i had to choose one i’d make it so that there’s a reliable source of water available to everyone

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

hufflepuff

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

people who have a very different sense of personal space to me and don’t respect mine

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

hm stay home? but also i want to hang out with my friends. i haven’t been to a cocktail party before with friends

blazing star; share a secret.

scroll through my old blog, i’ve blurted a lot of secrets on there

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

happier

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

nope

orchid; do you like exercise?

depends on your definition of “like”. I like the benefits, the after effects. if i’m walking, i like the time alone, and the time out in nature and on the street

pansy; do you like poetry?

yes duh i’m a poet

morning glory; any special talent that you have?

adapting

botanical asks

#txt #ask #ask game #sobcultures #lia #this was so many omg

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thegirlwhocouldntfindthewords · 8 years ago

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Okay so this is for @pansexualmahdidisi hoping it brightens their day at least a little bit. I know I’m not that good at this stuff but I love them so much their blog helped me a lot through some hellish times and I want to return an inch of the favour.

So this is for you. Hope it makes you smile. Sending loads and loads of love <3

This morning, Even wakes up early to make Isak breakfast. Well, it's not like he doesn't do that every other day – between the two of them, he's the only one capable of cooking something edible without setting the whole flat on fire – or like he never cooks scrambled eggs with a tablespoon of sour cream. They probably eat too many of those, actually. But hey, let a boy dream.

So Even wakes up earlier than usual, trying not to make a noise. A pretty difficult task, if you asked Even, given that they live in the smolest apartment full of love and all of their belongings. The kitchen is tiny too, but since he's the only one allowed in it after the I-gave-Sana-tea-made-with-warm-tap-water-I-am-sorry-okay incident, he makes it work. He puts the kettle (the first thing they bought the next day) on the flame, starts the coffee machine and takes some eggs from the fridge.

By the time the eggs are ready, the water is boiling (just like it should be) and a nice smell of coffee has spread all over the flat. Even can imagine Isak slowly waking up to the scent, his nose trying to find the source of it.

God, does Even love that grumpy kid.

There's still a last thing to do, though. Even covers the eggs to keep them warm and flies down the stairs of their apartment building to the small garden growing at the end of the road. He picks the most beautiful dandelions for his beautiful boy, then rushes back home careful not to ruin them.

«Evi?» Isak says as the door closes, sleepy voice muffled by the pillow.

«I'm coming, baby. Breakfast's ready.»

Even puts all the things he prepared on a tray, the flowers neatly set next to the plate, and goes to their bedroom (aka the rest of the flat).

Isak's nose is squished against the blue pillow in the cutest way possible. Even's fingers itch to draw him. Again and again and again and again, for the rest of eternity.

«Even, I wanna sleep.»

«I made your favourite.» One of Isak's eye pries open like the cat he truly is, and meets Even's smile. He looks at the wonderful eggs, smells the coffee, blushes at the flowers. He sits up.

They eat next to each other, the plate of (delicious) scrambled eggs between them. They drink their coffee and tea, then kiss. And kiss some more. Actually, they get a bit lost in their kisses and lips and scents and skin and I love yous screamed by their hands, always aching to touch more more more.

It's a rush getting ready for school and by the time they're at the door, they are already terribly late. Even stops Isak for a moment anyway, and fixes one of the dandelions behind his ear. He might not have a black eye anymore, but he's still the most beautiful boy Even has ever laid eyes upon.

The man of his dreams.

#i know this is cheesy #i love youuu #pansexualmahdidisi #skam #evak #skam hc #evak headcanon #isak valtersen #even bech næsheim #isak x even

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insidethecrack · 8 years ago

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A dandelion in a hurricane

This is going to be so messy... and I feel so guilty because there is already so much I promised to talk about and I always differ... and also I’m sorry if this metaphor is really not the one for the mooment regarding what’s going on but there is no better one for what I have to discuss today, please, be sure I’m not trying to surf on anything.

A few reminders first... We already cover some piece of that but schizophrenia erases all of your boundaries : your body boundaries, your mental boundaries, your emotional boundaries. Meaning that sometimes, you don’t know where your body stops and where the world starts (whatever the world is at the moment), you can’t recognise your own thoughts from someone else’s, and you don’t know if you’re the one feeling this emotion or the person next to you (may it be a total stranger in the subway, your 30 students or your best friend / loved one). This is really tricky.

If you want to play the smart ass in family meeting, let’s dig some psychoanalysis (don’t worry, not much, I hate it and rarely understand what’s going on, so basicaly, if you like and understand this shit, you’re like a powerful and dark wizard to me). But I once heard that Lacan said that schizophrenic people doesn’t own a “symbolic” body. (you have the right to take a break to scream “what the hell is this shit !” I’ll just wait for you, I’ve been there too) (and I had to ask a friend to explain this better to me because it seems that I poorly understood it in the first place) What’s a symbolic body you’ll ask... Imagine your body free of any symbols. Consider that language is a symbol (one of the highest system of symbols you can ever consider in human society), so you have to imagine your body outside the language. Language makes you think of your body in the addition of several parts : arm, hand, leg, blood, bones, etc. We tend to consider this is the normal way to dissect and name body parts, except it’s not. It’s a way, the way we all agree to follow. But we could have decided to consider body parts other way. Instead of “hand is the thing at the end of your arm and composed of five fingers”, we could have chosen to consider this “thing from the end of my body to my head”. This means we could have more or less body parts, in a symbolic way. The way you name, count, and limit body part is a symbol. A symbol you have internalize so deep you don’t even realise it’s here. The symbolic body is the way you think your body in terms of body parts such as defined by the society and the language you’re living in. But people like me don’t own a symbolic body, we don’t have access to this representation of ourselves. Sure, I have hands and arms and legs and bones just like you do. I have the words to name them and if you ask me to place them on a drawing I’d be totally able to do it. But when it comes to represent my own body to me... All this vanish. I don’t have boundaries between me and the outside world, but I don’t have boundaries between my body parts either. For example, my knee hurts because I feel (twice) on the bus the other day and it’s pretty dirty. I know it’s my knee. But when I feel the pain it’s just “we hurt here, inferior part, on the right, adjust the walk”. As far as I’m concerned the place of pain prevails on the body parts, pain has limits I can feel, but what’s a knee ? Don’t know, not sure. But pain I can understand. And this is one of my biggest issue of communication with neurotypical people... During a psychotic episode, or just when I feel very bad, I’ll tell them “I hurt”, and neurotypical will ask “where ?”. I’ll just look at them, very confused, as if they had answered “I have new schoes”, a bit offended too sometimes, and answer “where is not the fucking point ! I hurt”. Today, I can tell you that my knee hurts. But tonight I’ll just say “I hurt” because there will be nothing else real about my body but the pain. Can you imagine when I have to go to the doctor for an injury ? It’d be tricky, because I try to laugh about it when I can, but when it’s a doctor with zero patience, a doctor who doesn’t know me and who’s not trying to do an effort, these visits can turn into a huge moment of psychological AND physical distress. This can spread to many parts of my life. Like sex, I’ll be totally able to tell a partner I want sex, but if they ask “what kind of sex”, I’ll turn once again into a giant human puzzle, unable to answer, and kinda freaking out. I can’t dance because of this too, learning choreograhy, even the simplest ones, is a source of anxiety. “left hand right leg ??? which one is which ? what ? where ???” My brain will desperately cut my body into the smallest body part it can imagine to try to follow... It will quickly feel like I’m falling into pieces.

So what will we do with this concept of symbolic body ? It means that to my brain, there is no such thing as “metaphor” This is why this blog is full of metaphors, or imagery. All of these helps you better understand things that can be very obscure to you. But as neurotypical, there is something you miss (like some doctors when I try to explain my pain) : it is no imagery to me, it is real, it is how I understand and feel the world. I’m not only a writer in love with metaphors. They are no metaphor to me. They are my reality, they are how I feel and understand the world. If I tell you that I am naked in a hurricane, you have to understand it this way. Picture me naked in a hurricane. (and when I write sentences like this one I think I should be more careful with all this... anyway, what’s done is done, can’t unfeel what you felt right ?) I don’t mean anything else. Nothing more, nothing less.

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Let’s sum up : I don’t know where my body, mind and emotion ends and where the world starts. I have no symbolic body which prevails me from properly explaining what’s going on for me.

A few months ago, I cried for help because my headphones were dying. It may sound like a Rich Problem, but it’s not. Believe me, you don’t want to be outside, in the world, unaware of your boundaries and fighting to maintain your own consistency. My brain will catch everything. Every person walking sitting singing running screaming being here phoning playing. My brain will know where they go with who and at what speed. My brain will know how total strangers feel sometimes better than themselves. My brain will catch the weather the wind the sun the cold and the hot air the first raindrop and the last one. My brain will smell the work on the new subway the three kebab places the two crêpe restaurants the cigarettes the weed (which I can’t handle ! throws me into psychotic episode right away) the sweat the plastic of new schoes the garbage. My skin will feel the looks my clothes the weight of my backpack the people sitting next to me behind me their warmth. And the noise... the world is so noisy... you are all so fucking noisy people... And this is just a quickly put up list. So basicaly, if I’m alone outside and I’m musicless, my brain will litteraly explose under the crazy amount of information it has to sort out.

Because I forgot to add : these are only the EXISTING thing ! But you have to add all my monsters, when they do happen, the paranoia and how I hear people think... So my brain has to sort out all the informations from the world AND in the same time, it has to sort these informations between “exist” “doesn’t exist” “no idea” (contrary to what you may think, the problem is not when the doesn’t exist box is too full, it’s when the no idea box is too full...). Which means, my brain never stops. Never ever ever. This is why I can’t sleep, because it doesn’t stop, there are always informations, always always. And I have no symbolic body to filter them, no cleaning transition room to bleach them. They all come right in my face. All the time. In this scenario, having music when I go out is a matter ot life. Music allows me to STOP things. Music filters the world. Music recreates missing boundaries. It gives me back the feeling of time, the feeling of safety. Suddenly, I have a thing between me and the world, something on which I can hold on and build myself. This is why you have so much music in my writing, even when I write novel or theatre...

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Unfortunately, music cannot fully replace a symbolic body... It’s only a crutch. And if crutches are great when you have a broken foot, it’s not so great when both of you arms are also broken and you get dizzy every step. After a hell of a year (dismissal of my PhD funding, rape, shit jobs, being gaslighted by a new roomates who prevented me to sleep, running away from my own flat to wander from friend’s sofa to friend’s guest room, working 7 days a week during months until my health just failed me, falling back to self-harm...) music was not enough. And now I’m naked in a hurricane.

All the informations of the world are hitting me in the face, relentlessly. My brain doesn’t have time to sort it out, it all just goes too fast, so it gave up and I have piles and piles and piles of untreated informations lying around in my head and my body. I can barely move. I can barely think. There is no room left for it.

When you’re stuck in a hurricane, you don’t think. You just take the first thing you can and you run for your life. It’s quite different for mental hurricane... Sure, the wind and the storm and the water is the same. The wind is ripping my skin, I can barely keep my eyes open because it’s too strong and every movement is limited. But in life, when you’re facing a hurricane, you’re just expected to survive it. No one is going to ask you to solve impossible equations, or to crack a code, or to find a cure for cancer. Survive, the rest will wait. When it comes to mental hurricane, you still have to find a way for your house to hold on, find a way to protect your most precious (mental) belongings, or accept to lose them, but you will also be asked to act normal and plan your future. Put a smile on your face even if a car just hit your face and you’ve lost very important letters in the water. Right now, the world is a hurricane to me. There is nothing I can do to fight back. Like in a hurricane, all I can do is run for my life, but I also have to think about how to plan this life. I have to know WHERE to run. In real life, nobody asks you to plan your life AFTER the hurricane. In this mental hurricane, I still have to work my PhD, teach English (which means I have to think about a progression for my students), tell my mother when I’ll come for my brother’s birthday, apply for different jobs in different countries but which may happen in the same time. All of this with my brain so full of piles of informations that I can barely understand when tomorrow is.

To my brain, there is no difference between the sounds in the corridors, the articles I’m reading online, the deadline and work I have to honor, a hand on my shoulder, the food I should eat. It’s all information, in different shape and process, but still, information, filling me to death because we can’t keep with such a rythm. So sometimes, after a huge day of work involving a lot of socialising and real problem, at night, I can’t eat. Because my body is full. Full of sounds, of informations, of faces, of smell, of thoughts and feelings that aren’t mine (or maybe ?). And when it comes to that point, my body says “stop, fucking stop, no room left”. It is so overwhelming, that it feels like the world is going to eat me whole... I’m so full with the rest of the world that I barely exist anymore. The world is eating me. (oh look ! we’re back to carnivorous plants, damn, this schizophrenia almost writes itself up...)

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Lately, the hurricane has worsened and barely left me any time to breathe. No break. The sound of the wind is unbearable. Sometimes, when people talk to me, I hear them from very very far away, or it feels like they’re talking in a language I can’t speak. My brain hears the words, but it’s like “huh ? ok... what am I supposed to do with this ?” I hear the words, I can see the sentences they create, but... it just makes no sense. Like when you’re learning a new language and you’re reading stuffs. Your brain can recognise the world an maybe how the sentence is built because it starts to understand how the language works, but you won’t understand what’s written because you don’t have enough words for the moment. So you’re just looking at the sentence like “huh ? ok...”. The hurricane is turning my life into a giant poorly dubbed movie. I can see your lips moving, but it’s not well syncronized, or I can’t hear it, or you’re poorly translated. There is nothing new here when it comes to oral expression. But now, the hurricane is so strong that it reached the written expression... It’s terrible. I’m retreating from the world, I barely answer to people. I’m scared because I don’t understand what they want from me, what I’m supposed to answer, what’s expected from me. It’s like when I try to speak in German, I’m not sure I got everything you said, and I’m fighting with my three words vocabulary to answer. This all makes me feel so terribly alone. I cut myself from social media to slow down the hurricane, retreat as much as possible. But I feel so fucking and desperately alone. And in the same I’m unable to reach people. And when they do reach me, I can’t hear them. You can’t reach me because I can’t hear you. I can’t reach you because I’m stuck in a hurricane and I have to survive. The writer of my life turned me into an equilibrist, cursed to look for an impossible balance. I’m a dandelion in a hurricane. The wind is pulling me on every side and I’m fighting not to be torn apart the ground, I can feel my weeds being blown on every directions and I know I’ll never find them back.

And I’m tired. Tired to fight against the wind. I’m just a dandelion fighting a fucking hurricane, what are my chances anyway ? Tired to wait for the eye of the storm. And even if there were a fucking eye of the storm, how big would it be ? I had a 3 days break at a festival, all the good I had is already drown under the hurricane of informations and not even 2 weeks later, I’m already back to “unable to feel or think”, back to the void. When I wake up, the hurricane of thoughts and informations restart in a blink of an eye (this one is a real metaphor, it takes me ages to open my eyes in the morning, so blink’s way too much an effort ! English language makes metaphor, not I) and I’m just “fuck, I’m still myself” and I want to quit. Not like in “I want to kill myself”, but just, I want to quit... like “the commute is too long and the job is too hard and not even what I applied for and the coworkers are assholes and I hate this job I quit”.

But you can’t quit your life. You can’t just “quit” a hurricane. You have to survive it. And if you do survive it, you have to be thankful.

So this is why I’ve been quite silent lately... I was fighting a hurricane that summers was making even worse (new information : you have huge breast. new information : you’re sweating. new information : sweating so much it hurts. new information : your bra hurts becausr of so much sweat. new information : if you take off your bra your skin will burn from the rash between your breasts and your chest. new information : you fat cow. new information : please make arm not touching belly it burns.) (this kind of worse). In summer, it’s hot, so you can’t even hide in a nice sweater of your blanket... so I had to live without these few pieces of armor I own... You had no idea how I’m waiting for the rain to be back...

I feel like this article is so so so long... I’m sorry, this feels so messy... it’s very hard to think straight in a hurricane twisting you in every direction, breaking your body in so many little parts, I’m trying my best, I hope there’s something left for you. You can follow me and ask questions on FB. If you want to help me telling the world about the reality of schizophrenia, you can consider buying me a “coffee” here. A huge thank you to all of you who already donated, you blew my mind away... (in a good way, not in a hurricane way ^^) Love to all of you. Please, be safe.

PS : Huge thanks to Jorge who proofread my try to explain psychoanalysis and explained it to me again, he’s a powerful Dark Wizard of Psychoanalysis and an incredible sweet human being making the world a better place. He is also a great artist, making writing and painting and pixel art and drawing and a lot of things. You can check his work here.

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rivaco · 7 years ago

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Mother’s Day: A marketing miracle or a day worth celebrating?

Happy Mother’s Day! | Photo by Dakota Corbin

Earlier this week, I decided to write an article for Mother’s Day. Having never done anything like it, I didn’t know much about its history. So I did a little research (thank you Google!) and learnt a few things that made me think of the question that this article starts with:

Is Mother’s Day, as we know it today, a remarkably successful money-minting marketing gimmick or is it a day worth celebrating with our families?

The short answer to both is yes and yes.

The long answer? Well, here you go:

A road paved with good intentions

In 1908, a daughter held a memorial for her mother at Saint Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Over the next decade, she successfully campaigned for the second Sunday in May to be celebrated every year as Mother’s Day. Thanks to Anna Marie Jarvis’s efforts, and 110 years later, sons and daughters in the US will spend over $23 billion this week to show they care.

Anna Marie Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day | Source: ExplorePAHistory.com

Ms. Jarvis envisioned Mother’s Day to honor the most important person in our lives. She hoped for each family to honor its own mother, a personal ‘thank you’ to the woman that nurses and nags but never stops worrying about her children. In 2017, in the US alone, almost 78% of people surveyed planned to buy their mom a greeting card. Here’s what Ms. Jarvis had to say of this idea a century ago:

A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! You take a box to Mother — and then eat most of it yourself. A petty sentiment.

Even the white carnations that she sent to everyone who attended the first official observance of Mother’s Day didn’t escape commercial interests. She sent white carnations because they were her mother’s favorite. Here’s what she thought they symbolized:

Its whiteness is to symbolize the truth, purity and broad-charity of mother love; its fragrance, her memory, and her prayers. The carnation does not drop its petals, but hugs them to its heart as it dies, and so, too, mothers hug their children to their hearts, their mother love never dying. When I selected this flower, I was remembering my mother’s bed of white pinks.

Soon after its first observance, Mother’s Day became a “blockbuster” sales day for florists. The floral industry increased prices of white carnations and introduced red carnations to meet the demand. Now, you can buy an entire bouquet’s worth of colors in flowers — they come in packages for Mother’s Day — each with a different meaning if you ask someone that understands floriography.

Gift ideas are great but…

I asked friends how they planned to celebrate this Mother’s Day and all I got was a list of gift items — hair dryers, flowers, cake, jewelry, spa sessions and so on. So I decided to search online for a “unique” idea and found another list — photo frames, bird feeders, handbags, wine, and even sunglasses!

Amazon India’s gift section for Mother’s Day 2018 | Source: Amazon India

While this paints a grim picture of how much commercial interests have taken over a day meant to be a personal celebration of a mother’s love, it doesn’t mean we should stop celebrating Mother’s Day.

We just need to make it personal and make a genuine effort to thank our moms.

I also came across an opinion piece by Margaret Renkl in The New York Times titled The Mother’s Day Trap. Mrs. Renkl, a mother of three, writes about how Mother’s Day reinforces the cultural belief that motherhood is the climax of female life. It’s not, not for every woman. Yet she ends the piece with a poignant note on what will happen this Mother’s Day:

I will love having them all home for Mother’s Day, but in one tiny little corner of my mind I will also be missing the days when they were still so small and so needy, when the family circle was still close and closed. I will miss the smell of their sweaty little-boy necks and the feel of their damp fingers clutching my blouse as I bounced them on my hip. And I will remember all the years when Mother’s Day meant crayoned cards and plaster-of-Paris handprints and weedy bouquets made of clover and henbit and creeping Charlie and dandelion. The most beautiful flowers in all the world.

I was touched, and a little ashamed. I’ve rarely celebrated Mother’s Day, and I am now older than my mother was when she first became one. I thought I was rebelling against a society that promotes buying things for mothers over spending time with them (not that I did much of that either!). After reading a mother’s view of what she’ll love the most about Mother’s Day, I wanted to hear from more people.

So I spoke to a few more friends and their mothers. Every mother I spoke to wanted one thing above all — to spend some time with her kids, the ones that are now all grown up and busy all the time. And very few of the kids (my friends) had any idea! Instead they were busy searching for gift ideas online. Sigh.

This was a learning experience for me. To think of it, I didn’t even know of Anna Jarvis until recently. I didn’t know anything about how much people spend on Mother’s Day gifts though I knew (somehow) that it was a lot. And I was inspired by Mrs. Renkl’s piece to do right by my mother this time. Spend some time with her, take her around the city (I’m new here and she’s visiting!), and call her every week rather than once in a blue moon.

Our time and undivided attention

Spending your hard-earned money to buy a gift is not a bad idea, who doesn’t like one? Going out for dinner with mom is a great idea too, she’ll love it! If you really want to give her a card, how about making one yourself? More importantly, spend some time with mom and talk about random things, go on a road trip or even cook something together. If you stay in different cities, call her once a week (or twice) and ask about her day. Or just call her every day. Even better, use apps like WhatsApp, Skype, or Facebook Messenger to get her on a video call. It’s up to each of us to make an effort — our time and our undivided attention is the greatest gift of all.

Postcard issued by the Northern Pacific Railway for Mother’s Day 1915 | Source: Wikimedia Commons

I close this piece knowing that Mother’s Day is a marketing gimmick — a well-executed campaign that has been reaping dividends for years. And it will continue to be a moneymaker for the jewelry, hospitality, greeting card, and gift card industries for years to come.

But if playing along (a little) and celebrating it with mom makes her happy, well then, we ought to celebrate it a lot more often, don’t we?

Authored by Kesava Mandiga, who is busy cleaning house in anticipation of his mother’s visit. Also, a content marketer at Flock.

One more thing…

If you like this article, show us some love — clap, share, and follow us. ;)

Consider these for your next read:

12 Funny Mother's Day Instagram Captions That Are Just Too Real

Move over multitaskers!

Mother’s Day: A marketing miracle or a day worth celebrating? was originally published in Flock Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

#Flock #Enterprise Chat

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fishermariawo · 8 years ago

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6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas

Today’s post is served by good friend to Mark’s Daily Apple, Stephanie Greunke. Stephanie has teamed up with Melissa Hartwig of Whole30® to create the Healthy Mama, Happy Baby program.

Food aversions and nausea plague up to 80% of women during the first trimester of pregnancy, which can be really frustrating for the mama who is trying to eat a healthy, nourishing diet. While there is no one specific cause of food aversions and nausea, some of the proposed factors include increased hormone levels (specifically estrogen, progesterone, and hCG), hypoglycemia, thyroid dysfunction (specifically increased serum free T4 and decreased serum TSH), a woman’s enhance sense of smell, stress, Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) infection, and physiological changes of pregnancy such as delayed gastric emptying and constipation.

One of the largest studies to date of pregnant women, the Collaborative Perinatal Project, found nausea and vomiting in pregnancy to be more common in younger women (the incidence is highest among women younger than 20 years old and drops significantly after age 35), women pregnant for the first time (primigravida), women with less than 12 years of education, women with multiple gestation, women carrying female infants, and women who are obese. Also, women whose mothers experienced nausea and vomiting with pregnancy are more likely to experience it.

If your “morning sickness” progresses to severe and persistent vomiting with substantial weight loss, you may be experiencing a condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is a much more severe form of this common pregnancy concern and requires management and follow-up with your provider. Please, don’t try to tough it out on your own!

At Whole30 Healthy Mama, Happy Baby, we understand that morning sickness can put a halt on your dedicated efforts to eat healthy! The good news is that most women find the worst morning sickness symptoms usually end around 12-16 weeks, and typically nausea is a good sign that the pregnancy is progressing well. Researchers have found that the presence of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy is correlated with lower rates of miscarriage. Hopefully, that fact makes you feel just a little better!

So, keep your head up, mama. Today I have six tips to help you eat healthy despite aversions and nausea.

Bring the whole darn grocery store home with you.

This tip comes from Whole30 Headmistress and HMHB co-creator Melissa Hartwig. She experienced lots of food aversions during her pregnancy and used this strategy. That’s why we love Primal Kitchens products–you can stock your pantry and fridge with them, so you’ll always have flavorful and delicious options to make meals based on what sounds good to you in the moment. The more stocked your fridge and pantry are, the better chances you’ll have that you’ll be able to find something you can stomach. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner or a friend to run out and grab something for you when the mood strikes. You might be at the grocery store a bit more often during this time, but it usually only lasts a few weeks.

Capitalize on what and when you can eat.

Are there certain times of day when you feel better or have more of an appetite? Try to think outside of the box. Maybe you can’t imagine eating an egg immediately upon waking, but perhaps it sounds a little more appetizing as an early lunch? Some women notice that their nausea is worse in the morning but better by evening. I recommend trying to have lots of options in the fridge that could work for easy-to-prepare dinners. That way you can still make dinner based on what sounds good to you in the moment.

Avoid your major problem foods.

For example, if you know that you don’t tolerate dairy well normally, then try to avoid it throughout pregnancy. If ice cream sounds really good, but typically diary messes with your digestive system, then it’s probably going to do more harm than good. Instead of ice cream, see if a frozen, non-dairy smoothie would do. You might even be able to sneak some veggies in that way!

Balance your meals/snacks with a combination of fat/protein/and carbs.

Low blood sugar can be a trigger for nausea as well, so as best you can, try to eat throughout the day, even if you’re feeling sick. It’s commonly known that pregnant women crave carbs, and that’s okay! However, any time you can, try to combine fat, protein, and carbs, to give your body more nutrients to work with and help keep your blood sugar regulated throughout the day. Dying for a bagel? Try to have it with almond butter on top. Gluten free crackers? Stack them with a little rotisserie chicken and Primal Kitchen mayo.

Stay hydrated.

Becoming dehydrated can actually aggravate symptoms of morning sickness, so try to sip on a variety of beverages throughout the day. Plain water is great, but if you find that it’s difficult to tolerate, you can try sipping on chamomile, ginger, or peppermint tea (hot or iced!). You could also try sparkling water, as some mamas say it helps settle their stomach. A small amount of ginger kombucha could be a good option, as well.

Focus on key nutrients.

You don’t need to choke down an organic kale salad with wild-caught salmon to optimize your nutrition during this time. Give yourself grace and just focus on a few key nutrients for you and your growing baby during this hard time.

Folate (B9) is involved in making and repairing DNA as well as preventing neural tube defects, which is really important during the early weeks. Outside of liver, the best source of folate is dark leafy green vegetables (such as kale, collard greens, spinach, and dandelion leaves). You just need 2.5-3 cups of steamed spinach to meet your daily prenatal requirements. With that being said, leafy greens and liver are probably “off the menu” for most of your meals right now. You can include other sources of folate, such as chickpeas, pinto beans, lentils, avocado, and beets (if they work well for you); however, this is where a prenatal vitamin comes in handy. I like to recommend prenatal vitamins that contain a methylated version of folate (versus folic acid) for optimal absorption and utilization.

Omega-3 fatty acids are important for your baby’s brain and visual development and higher intakes have been associated with improved memory, cognition, and IQ. Since the amount of these essential fatty acids baby receives depends on mom’s dietary intake, it’s important to make sure they’re included in sufficient amounts through food and/or supplements. Because of the potential for mercury contamination, it’s important to choose fish low in mercury, such as wild-caught salmon, sardines, and herring. For mamas who can’t stand the thought of fish during the first trimester (which is most), I recommend talking to your provider about adding a fish oil supplement to your regimen.

Vitamin B6 helps your body metabolize proteins, carbohydrates, and fats, helps form new red blood cells, and supports brain and nervous system development. It’s also well-known that vitamin B6 can help alleviate nausea and vomiting, which sets it apart as an important player in your prenatal diet during the first few months. Food sources of B6 include fish, liver, chickpeas, poultry, beef, bananas, potatoes, and pistachios. If none of these options sound good or you’re really suffering, you can talk to your provider about using a B6 supplement.

Choline, like folate, is important for preventing neural tube defects. It’s also important for healthy brain development and can have long-term effects on your baby’s cognitive abilities, memory, and mood regulation. According to new research from Cornell University, pregnant women who increase choline intake during their third trimester of pregnancy (930 mg/day vs. 480 mg/day), may reduce the risk of their baby developing metabolic and chronic stress-related diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes later in life. While the need for choline increases during pregnancy (and even more while breastfeeding), there aren’t many foods rich in this nutrient outside of eggs and liver. You’d need to eat about four eggs a day to reach your prenatal daily requirements. Since eggs and liver may not work for you during these tough weeks, make sure your prenatal vitamin contains choline. I like Innate Response’s Baby & Me Multivitamin.

At the end of the day, just do your best. You won’t be able to eat perfectly during this time, and that’s okay. Make sure you’re taking a good prenatal supplement (gummy versions are fine during this time!), and know that your body is relying on the stores that you had built up before you became pregnant. You’ll be able to eat your piles of green, leafy veggies again soon! Hang in there mama–and for more information and friendly advice, check out our Healthy Mama, Happy Baby blog.

Want to take your pregnancy, pre- or post-natal nutrition to the next level? Join the Whole30 Healthy Mama / Happy Baby program. Mark’s Daily Apple & Primal Kitchen customers can use code HMHBLOVESPK to receive $40 OFF your registration!

Stephanie Greunke is a registered dietitian with a master’s degree in nutrition who specializes in women’s health. She is a certified personal trainer and prenatal and postnatal corrective exercise specialist. Stephanie guides and supports women locally and globally through her web-based private practice.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. Thoughts, questions, experience to offer on either food aversions or pregnancy health? Share them on the comment board, and have a great week!

Sources:

http://ift.tt/2sPeZDK

Jiang, X., J. Yan, A. A. West, C. A. Perry, O. V. Malysheva, S. Devapatla, E. Pressman, F. Vermeylen, and M. A. Caudill. Maternal choline intake alters the epigenetic state of fetal cortisol-regulating genes in humans. FASEB J. 2012;26:3563-3574.

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watsonrodriquezie · 8 years ago

Text

6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas

Today’s post is served by good friend to Mark’s Daily Apple, Stephanie Greunke. Stephanie has teamed up with Melissa Hartwig of Whole30® to create the Healthy Mama, Happy Baby program.

So, keep your head up, mama. Today I have six tips to help you eat healthy despite aversions and nausea.

Bring the whole darn grocery store home with you.

Capitalize on what and when you can eat.

Avoid your major problem foods.

Balance your meals/snacks with a combination of fat/protein/and carbs.

Stay hydrated.

Focus on key nutrients.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. Thoughts, questions, experience to offer on either food aversions or pregnancy health? Share them on the comment board, and have a great week!

Sources:

http://ift.tt/2sPeZDK

http://ift.tt/2toDQLV

http://ift.tt/2bpgA9R

0 notes

cristinajourdanqp · 8 years ago

Text

6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas

Today’s post is served by good friend to Mark’s Daily Apple, Stephanie Greunke. Stephanie has teamed up with Melissa Hartwig of Whole30® to create the Healthy Mama, Happy Baby program.

So, keep your head up, mama. Today I have six tips to help you eat healthy despite aversions and nausea.

Bring the whole darn grocery store home with you.

Capitalize on what and when you can eat.

Avoid your major problem foods.

Balance your meals/snacks with a combination of fat/protein/and carbs.

Stay hydrated.

Focus on key nutrients.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. Thoughts, questions, experience to offer on either food aversions or pregnancy health? Share them on the comment board, and have a great week!

Sources:

http://ift.tt/2sPeZDK

http://ift.tt/2toDQLV

http://ift.tt/2bpgA9R

0 notes

milenasanchezmk · 8 years ago

Text

6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas

Today’s post is served by good friend to Mark’s Daily Apple, Stephanie Greunke. Stephanie has teamed up with Melissa Hartwig of Whole30® to create the Healthy Mama, Happy Baby program.

So, keep your head up, mama. Today I have six tips to help you eat healthy despite aversions and nausea.

Bring the whole darn grocery store home with you.

Capitalize on what and when you can eat.

Avoid your major problem foods.

Balance your meals/snacks with a combination of fat/protein/and carbs.

Stay hydrated.

Focus on key nutrients.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. Thoughts, questions, experience to offer on either food aversions or pregnancy health? Share them on the comment board, and have a great week!

Sources:

http://ift.tt/2sPeZDK

http://ift.tt/2toDQLV

http://ift.tt/2bpgA9R

0 notes

cynthiamwashington · 8 years ago

Text

6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas

Today’s post is served by good friend to Mark’s Daily Apple, Stephanie Greunke. Stephanie has teamed up with Melissa Hartwig of Whole30® to create the Healthy Mama, Happy Baby program.

So, keep your head up, mama. Today I have six tips to help you eat healthy despite aversions and nausea.

Bring the whole darn grocery store home with you.

Capitalize on what and when you can eat.

Avoid your major problem foods.

Balance your meals/snacks with a combination of fat/protein/and carbs.

Stay hydrated.

Focus on key nutrients.

Thanks for stopping by today, everybody. Thoughts, questions, experience to offer on either food aversions or pregnancy health? Share them on the comment board, and have a great week!

Sources:

http://ift.tt/2sPeZDK

http://ift.tt/2toDQLV

http://ift.tt/2bpgA9R

The post 6 Healthy Eating Tips for First Trimester Pregnant Mamas appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple

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