#subject to change because i never commit to my drafts

[illbegottenfaith]

walking away with your kiss on my cheek...

your relationship with theo starts to sour as you begin to suspect him of keeping secrets from you (theo nott x reader)

Part 1 | Part 2

a/n - first part of a two-shot I've written! Ngl this thing has gone through wayyy too many drafts and revisions so it’s barely an u healthy relationship, more like unhealthy coping mechanisms, but I have a couple of slightly more intense takes on the trope lined up as well :)

tropes/warnings - mildly (veryyy mildly) toxic/unhealthy relationship descriptions, established relationship, mentions of infidelity, miscommunication, angst

word count - 1.9k

When it came to love languages, Theodore Nott’s was distance. Many of his past relationships had failed once he'd deemed them too suffocating. Nobody had suited him quite like you did. The two of you had somehow stumbled into a mutual understanding of what you wanted out of a relationship. Some considered what you shared too casual to be considered a relationship. You had your separate schedules and commitments, and in your downtime, you kept one another company.

But it worked for the two of you. The best relationships are built between people on the same page, and your perfectly aligned perspectives made the little time you spent together that much sweeter. In fact, things had been going along swimmingly until Katherine entered the picture.

She, or at least the idea of her, entered your life one foggy morning. You were dead on your feet. The aconite you had been tending to as part of your Herbology project demanded your every waking moment outside of your classes. You were just about to fall asleep into your soft-looking, pillowy scrambled eggs when Ivy half-yelled into your ear, as she was prone to doing.

"Didn't know Theo got a new girlfriend!"

Your head snapped up and you groaned. Okay, maybe she wasn't yelling as much as everything sounded ten times louder with that throbbing behind your right temple. You blinked blearily at your friend.

"Huh?"

"Someone's been spending an awful lot of time with Katherine."

It took you a moment to register that you had no idea who Ivy was talking about.

"Katherine Sawyer," she repeated. "Theo's been getting pretty cosy with her, hasn't he?"

Something must have shown on your face, because she immediately dropped the suggestive lilt to her voice.

"I mean - I'm only kidding. It's just that I saw them in the library again last night for, like, the third time this week. I thought you knew." She peered closer at your dark eye bags. "Damn. Are you getting any sleep?"

You shook yourself out of the shock and gave a small smile. "Of course I knew," you lied. If being with Theo had taught you anything, it was how to lie convincingly. "I'm exhausted, that's all."

"Yeah, you look it," Ivy agreed sympathetically. "But really, I was kidding. It's not like he'd do anything. Not Theo."

"Right." You smoothly changed the subject. "So how's your project coming along?"

Still, it bothered you for the rest of the day. Why hadn't he told you about Katherine? He knew you weren't the jealous type, especially when it came to perfectly innocent interactions with the opposite sex. Unless there was a reason for him to keep it from you. You had thought that neither of you was the type to keep secrets from the other, but maybe you had thought wrong. And if he hadn't told you about Katherine, well, what else was he not telling you about?

You dismissed the thought. You were too sleep-deprived for this. It just wasn't like him. Theo would never pursue another girl, not while he already had one on his arm.

Right?

These thoughts were still circulating in your head when you found him reading in the Slytherin common room that evening. You approached him as you always did, but something about what Ivy had said that morning made you hesitate. He didn't look up from his well-worn copy of The Divine Comedy in the original Italian until he felt you sink into the couch beside him. He gave you a strange look before pulling you into his lap, nestling his head in the crook of your neck, the way the two of you usually curled up together when one of you was reading.

"Don't be going shy on me now," he teased lightly. You shushed him, tapping the paperback. As you settled your head on his shoulder, he glanced at your face. "You look tired," he noted quietly. You pulled a face.

"Who knew aconite could be such a bitch?"

Theo turned the page. "I knew. I'd say I told you so, but - ow."

You had sharply tugged at the short hairs at the nape of his neck as a warning. You laughed softly as you ran a soothing thumb over the mildly irritated skin, kissing it better. It was moments like these that made it difficult to harbor any sort of suspicion or resentment towards your boyfriend. As moody and mysterious as he liked to come off, to you he was an open book.

But he still hadn't told you about Katherine.

A few weeks later, Theo and a few others were about to leave for a two-week cultural exchange trip to Durmstrang's. Ivy had dragged you down to the Great Hall where everyone was saying their goodbyes, before disappearing into the crowd in search of Ivan.

Somewhat reluctantly, you walked up to your own boyfriend. Between his trip preparations and your Herbology project, the two of you hadn’t had a minute together for the past week and a half, a new record, even for a relationship as casual as yours.

“Got everything?”

Theo nodded. In his soft, fitted navy blue sweatshirt pushed halfway up his forearms, he looked effortlessly put together. You weren’t scruffy yourself, either. That was why you had any kind of relationship at all, wasn’t it? The two of you made an attractive couple, at least when you acted like one.

You looked over at Ivy, whose boyfriend was humoring a much sappier farewell than yours and Theo's. Scratch that, Ivan lived for Ivy's oddities and eccentricities. Right now, Ivy was kicking a fuss over a fortnight being simply too long of a time to be apart while Ivan promised to call every single night. Occasionally, you had wondered what it would feel like to be in a relationship like theirs, where two weeks apart would be nothing short of agony rather than routine.

As you turned back, you noticed Theo had been following your gaze. He cleared his throat delicately.

"So...two weeks."

"Mhm." You weren't the type of couple to explicitly express affection, especially of the vulnerable kind. You'd miss him, of course, even if you didn't say it. Would he miss you? You shook your head internally. No, you decided, you wouldn't ask. You'd only seem clingy and that wasn't the kind of couple you were. "Be good, have fun."

He adjusted the strap of his duffle bag. You fixed the collar of his jacket. You wondered if he'd tell you about Katherine before he left. From somewhere else in the Great Hall, one of his friends called him over. He pressed a final chaste kiss to your cheek. You watched him walk away with a hollow sort of feeling in your stomach. Merlin forbid you express any kind of attachment to your boyfriend.

He glanced back at you one last time, fidgeting with the strap of his bag, and just like that, he was gone.

Gone.

He didn't say a word about Katherine.

As the two weeks crawled by achingly slow, you tried to convince yourself that you didn't feel the lack of Theo. You had gone longer without talking to him. Hell, before you started dating, you'd only occasionally meet through mutual friends.

But you had never spent time apart feeling this acrid bitterness towards him.

Unbeknownst to you, your friends had picked up on your frutration, especially in the way you had thrown yourself into your work with renewed vigour, doing your best to keep conversations from straying to topics related to Theo.

"I'm going to the owlery to check for letters from Ivan," Ivy was saying one evening, pulling a woollen hat onto her head. "Wanna come with?"

You barely spared her a glance, writing carefully. "Can't. I have this essay to finish."

Ivy deflated visibly. "Don't you want to see if you have anything from Theo?”

You shrugged. You couldn’t be disappointed if you didn’t expect anything.

“Have you heard from him at all?” Ivy pressed.

You gave her a warning look. “Ivy. Stay out of it.”

“Come on, Y/N. Why don’t you call him? I'm sure he misses you."

You laughed derisively, nearly stabbing a hole in the parchment. You might have done that any other time, but you were too mad about his imaginary affair with Katherine.

“Miss me? Theo doesn’t miss me.”

“How can you be so sure? You don’t know what he’s-“

“Because if he missed me,” you finally snapped, "he’d call. Or send me an owl. But he hasn't, alright? He hasn't called and I haven't gone to the owlery because no one's missing anybody. He's doing perfectly fine without me, just as I'm doing perfectly fine without him."

No one's missing anybody.

Tears prickled behind your eyes. You stubbornly watched Ivy turn blurrier and blurrier as you failed to blink them back. Your gaze landed on your essay, and the spots where your tears had caused the ink to run. Your essay was ruined.

You pressed a trembling hand to your eyes as you finally caved in, a pair of warm, comforting hands almost immediately coming to rest on your shaking shoulders. As miserable as you had been, you hadn't acknowledged the pain, let alone how it was eating away at you. Once you started crying, it was as though you didn't know how to stop.

“Why won’t he call, Ivy?” you choked out. "Doesn't he think about me?"

"Of course he does," Ivy soothed. "He's probably just insanely busy."

You sniffled. "How busy can a person be? One phone call, one letter, anything - is that really too much to ask?"

Ivy hesitated. The silence stretched out between you like the confirmation of a truth neither of you wanted to admit. She said it anyway.

“Maybe he thinks you don’t need that from him."

You laughed, the sound sharp and humorless. “Well, he got that part right.”

You sounded ridiculous even to your own ears. It was a testament to your friendship that Ivy didn’t try to argue with you. She gave your shoulder one last squeeze before standing, her footsteps soft as she made her way to the door. “I’m going to the owlery,” she said, lingering for a moment. “If there’s anything for you -"

"- burn it."

" - I’ll bring it back.”

You focused on the ruined essay in front of you. Messy smudges had formed where your tears had fallen. It was beyond repair, much like the knot in your chest that no amount of rationalising seemed to untangle.

As the door closed behind Ivy, an unbearable silence descended upon your dorm. You pressed your hands against your temples, willing yourself to stop thinking about him, about how easy it seemed for Theo to carry on without you. Maybe that was the worst part—the inescapable realisation that you weren’t half as essential to him as he was to you.

You stared at the blurred words on the parchment, feeling the ache settle deeper into your chest. There was no scintillating revelation, no blinding eureka moment. Just the quiet, gnawing thought that maybe this was all you’d ever be to him—an afterthought.

And maybe, you thought bitterly, crumpling your essay, you deserved it for letting yourself believe otherwise.

Part 2

[decrepitdeer]

Now what in Celestia's name is going on here?

Why it's my pony version of Franco of course + My OC Joanne! 🦄

Info about them for those who are interested:

Fairy Dust (Franco)

"Fairy Dust" starts with an "F" and sounds whimsical enough to be a pony name, but it was mainly chosen because it's one of many slang terms for the drug he uses to "infantilize the world." It doesn't change the fact it sounds incredibly cutesy and Fairy Dust HATES it. (It's this universe's version of "Bambino" but it's his whole damn name this time 😭)

He is an Unicorn x Earth pony mix and his design is based on the Lipizzaner, Kladruber, American Paint and any small pony breed of your choosing:

Salvatore is a fancy ass unicorn and his mom was a small, fluffy earth pony. He inherited that fluffiness, but only if he remains in a cold location for a long enough duration and grows a winter coat.

His cutie mark (which took WAY too long to figure out) is a subtle reference to the crimes he commits, so that it won't be alarmingly obvious to anypony that would see it at a glance. The flower is a poppy, more specifically an opium poppy, that I changed to blue to match his colour scheme better. The vapor is a reference to drug and/or gun smoke and it also resembles a trail of blood, a long road of violence. The teeth with bloody roots are to most blatant show of violence and a reference to his resourcefulness, but also a tie to his infantile nature. The first teeth one receives in life are literally called "baby teeth."

He lived in Manehattan and was exiled to Las Pegasus. I would've put him in New Horseleans, but there is zero information about it outside of a few mentions and this one comic panel:

Can't really do magic outside of explosions, and whenever he does, it gives him a headache. Although, as evident above, a broken horn CAN do other things, but Fairy Dust's magic was never that strong to begin with, and it would take a lot extra work and effort that he just doesn't care for. His horn can also reflect his mood. Whenever he is pissed, it starts creating sparks.

He luckily still has that half-earth pony strength and other resourceful tricks to make up for his lack of magic, but he can still be overpowered. Fairy Dust's magic blasts aren't the most precise, and since he is a half-earth pony, he can be outmatched in strength by most other earth ponies. This also includes some mares which is extra humiliating for him lol. (Although, he might request the "company" of earth pony mares for this exact reason 👀)

Crimson Melody (Joanne)

"Crimson Melody" is rather on the nose. Her colour scheme combined with a reference to her singing capabilities, but "Crimson" is sometimes used to also refer to blood, so it adds an ominous edge.

She's an Earth pony of many generations and has the strength of one despite not looking like it! Even though Crimson Melody prefers less "brutish" methods, she can deliver some serious kicks (and Fairy Dust can't be normal about it 🙄)

I base my earth ponies on either small ponies or huge draft horses, and Crimson Melody gets a bit of both! Physically, she is your average pony, but her coat markings are based on the Clydesdale:

Her cutie mark is rather simple, a vintage microphone with a bow for femininity, and hearts for her naturally kind nature. Now, it serves as cruel reminder of what kind of a life she was supposed to have...

Crimson Melody's scars cover her entire right side, making her a subject of looks of horror and pity. There's very little left, she even lost her cutie mark on that side. She used to be more insecure about the looks, often wearing a hooded cape to cover up, but now she couldn't care less. Since this is Equestria, it's possible that the cause of the fire that did this to her had more... Beastly origins. 🐲

Lives a bit of a nomadic lifestyle at the moment, partly laying low, partly looking for some ponies.. But she originally came from the country! Her foalhood town was either Appleloosa or Dodge Junction. Even most ponies she talks to aren't sure, as she changes her answer between said ponies:

Crimson Melody has been humming a tune for as long as she's been capable. The ponies in her town got used to the pink filly trotting trough the orchards while singing. She started performing in the town and outside of it, in fact, it was her first performance that gained Crimson Melody her cutie mark! ..But then the inevitable happened. Fire and smoke doesn't do great things for your vocal chords and her scarring is far from pleasing to the eye. Her soul's purpose, gone just like that... She only hums to herself now. 💔

(Holy yapping session 💀)

[heycarrots]

There’s been a lot of discourse about the nature of James and Miranda’s relationship. There’s even been a lot of discussion on my podcast about it. One thing I want to make clear is that my podcast is a platform for discussion on all points of view. I’m not going to agree, 100%, with everything that’s said, but it makes the views of my guests no less valid. There’s no right or wrong, here, because this is art and therefore, it is subject to interpretation.

My intent, however, is to attempt to get as close to the original intent of the actors as possible because we look at a show or a film or a play as going through several layers of distillation. Each level purifies the intended narrative leaving its truest essence.

When we make a reduction sauce using an alcohol of some kind, let’s say a red wine, the heat applied to it burns off things we don’t need for flavor. You’re never going to get drunk off of red wine reduction because there’s almost no alcohol left in it. That all gets burned off, leaving only the flavor components, which is what we wanted all along, anyway. We want that extra element that enriches the flavor of the steak, by adding nuance.

So let’s take apart that meal.

We start with the birth of the idea. The story kicks around in an author’s head, trying to get out, growing bigger and more persistent until it outgrows the confines of the mental box inspiration is stored in and has to be let out. That idea, that’s the cow.

The author raises that idea, feeds it, watches it grow, and then, ultimately slaughters it. That sounds awful, but once you have that idea pulsing, growing, evolving and then finally commit the final draft on paper, it is a kind of death. The life of the story comes to an end and it becomes memorialized in a mausoleum. Readers will come to visit, spend time with it, lay down flowers, cherish it, and mourn its passing.

The next level is adaptation. That’s the steak. There are many ways you can slice the story, large roasts encompassing the whole story or a smaller, hyper-focused character study fillet mignon.

A writers room gets hold of the cow and carves it up. They choose what gets cooked and what gets tossed. A GREAT group of writers saves the bones. They take in the entire supporting structure of the piece and while the whole story may not make it onto the screen, they will have slow roasted the bones for a stock. When you watch a show like Black Sails, where themes are introduced that won’t fully be explained or explored until several seasons later, that’s what that is. It is the stock being used to flavor the whole dish. You’ve distilled the entire cow to its purest essence and so every scene, every line of dialogue, every acting choice, encompasses the entirety of the story. A line from episode one is defined by knowledge of the finale and in regard to dialogue, defined by an actors’ knowledge of a character’s backstory. There are many writers rooms who are creating the bones of the story as they go, which means they aren’t starting with a rich stock. You can’t trace back character motivations or choices to begin with because those motivations changed throughout production.

Black Sails, again, isn’t one of those shows. Steinberg and Levine came into the writers room with their stock pot full and sloshing, spilling story everywhere. The richness of the details they were laying can make season one a bit hard to consume unless you are ready for a story on that level. Viewers need to come to the table with some bread to sop up all those character details because we WILL need them later.

Over the course of finalizing scripts and blocking out episodes, the steak is cooked. Like any great steak, this story is medium rare. More juice comes out with every bite. It’s what makes the show infinitely rewatchable. It continues to cook on the plate, but because it wasn’t overdone, it never dries out.

When the actors get ahold of it, that’s the reduction sauce we were talking about. That sauce provides nuance and flavor. That’s the emotion. A line of dialogue on a page is just ink. It’s nothing until it’s spoken aloud. And like any bit of language in this world, it’s subject to interpretation. In this case, it’s the actor who does the interpreting.

I spoke on the podcast about the art of subtext and how huge a role it plays in Black Sails. One example we used is Jane Eyre. It’s one of the most frequently adapted novels in the English language and with each adaptation, we get a new version of our characters. The most volatile and subject to change is Rochester. There are MANY versions of Rochester that I find appalling (including the original beast in the book), but each actor has formed him into something else, based on their performance. Toby Stephens takes Rochester and turns him into a silly tragic romantic, broken many times over by a society he never really fits into, despite the status of his birth. He connects with Ruth Wilson’s Jane because she fully and happily inhabits that space on the fringes that Rochester thinks he needs to climb out of. Jane takes his hand on the outside of the wall, turns him away from the guarded palace and shows him the wild world that was at his back this whole time.

This is what Toby Stephens, Luke Arnold, Louise Barnes, Zethu Dlomo, and really all the actors for whom their subtextual choices make them reflect like prisms, have done with their performances.

In the final distillation, character motivations and emotions are finalized by the actor. Writers can pontificate, the source material lies dead in its lovely tomb, but stories live and breathe by their storytellers.

What we’re left with is Toby’s face telling the world how deeply Flint loves Silver. Every single choice tells this story.

We’re left with Luke showing us how much Silver is repressing in his feelings for Flint. Luke’s face shows us an incredible depth of feeling and a door slamming shut.

We’re left with the incredible intimacy between James and Miranda, which speaks of a decade of shared physical intimacy. There’s an openness, a freeness to it until the moment in episode 3 when Miranda learns that James has found the Urca and is leaving soon to pursue it. She gives some of it away when she says “I thought I’d have you all to myself”. She is mourning the loss of intimacy that she only gets in short windows of time. They aren’t strained because James isn’t attracted to her, but because he’s rarely there. She has him for a few days at a time before he’s off on another hunt. The coldness starts from the moment he tells her he’s leaving in a few days because I believe she thinks he won’t be coming back, that this is the hunt he won’t survive and she’ll finally have lost both James and Thomas. From the moment Richard Guthrie darkens her door, she’s looking for a way to weaponize him and get them out. For her, it’s a race against the clock and she’s willing to sacrifice a bit of her relationship with James in the present to secure happiness for them in the future.

This is also why James still has sex with her before leaving, even though he’s furious for her reading Meditations to Richard. This is how they connect. They connected through physical intimacy in the flashbacks, as well. Him stroking her thumb in the carriage before the kiss. Tactile contact to seal their understanding of each other. Miranda bracing her hands on his chest during important moments in the Hamilton’s home, something she also does to Thomas, to show physical connection, physical intimacy. Miranda thrives on physical touch.

To think that, for 10 years, James is lying there like an object for Miranda to use, is, to me, short sighted. To think that James doesn’t love Miranda outside of a group, is also ignoring the fact that, 10 years on, James will not leave on a hunt (angry as they both are) without physically connecting with her, trying so hard to reach beyond his anger and the wound freshly opened from sight of that book he’s chosen not to look at for probably the better part of those 10 years. The way his hands hover over her back after she comes and he desperately wants to be with her in that moment, like the best of their moments, but he just can’t, speaks to the depth of his love for her.

So many fans of the show point to this sad sex scene as one of the most important character moments for James and Miranda, but I consistently come to the opposite conclusions about WHY it’s important and what we learn from it, because I’m taking my cues from the actor’s choices, not the director or the writers. On the page, in plain ink, he hates having sex with her. Toby and Louise show us, however, that they are trying to recapture a thing that is fleeting, reaching out to each other to patch up an old wound from which the scab has been picked off, leaving it seeping and raw.

From Toby’s performance, regardless of the words he uses years later to describe it, we see not a character who “loves men” or a character who “loves women”, but a character who LOVES. I don’t see Flint defining that love in terms of boxes and parameters. He’s a character who must be coaxed out, but then loves without reason, without a safety net, as he proves with his love of Silver. As was also referenced by a guest on the podcast, he places a sword in Silver’s hand and says “do it”.

Anyway, this post got away from me and took several turns, but the love between James and Miranda being dismissed by so many in the fandom has been bugging me for a while and I just needed to emotionally vomit on tumblr.

[uceyliyahh]

SOMETHING BOUT’ US

Summary: "I want you more than anything in my life." After being in a difficult relationship with Carmelo Yasmine decided to move on from him and become the next big thing while getting drafted on the smackdown roster she always thought she would never find love again due to her commitment issues until she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 2633

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Yasmine

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi

9.

JONATHAN It was ten in the morning. The sun was beaming through the hospital curtains, and I could hear the birds chirping. I fluttered my eyes open, squinting them a bit before rubbing away the crust in my eyes.

I managed to get my vision back, seeing that Yasmine was up eating breakfast as her eyes darted towards me.

"Good morning, Jon. I see that yo' ass had a good ass sleep with allat snoring you did last night," Yasmine said.

"My bad, a man was tired after all, but how are you feeling, Yasmine?" I replied as I saw her put her spoon down.

"If I'm being brutally honest with you, Jon, ion' really feel great; you know, it just sucks that I have to go through this," I had never seen her so sad and depressed about stuff like this. I know she loves my brother dearly but he just doesn't know what he wants or who to be exact.

I nodded my head, listening to her attentively. She was venting so much to me that I couldn't even focus on who was coming in the door. That's when I saw Montez and Bianca coming, hugging her, and seeing worried written on both of their faces.

"Thank God you're okay," Montez said giving his sister a kiss on the forehead.

"Y-yeah, I'm glad too," She said, almost hesitant.

Montez came towards my way, dabbing me up while hugging me in the process, "Thanks, bro, when I catch Jey, it's over with," I wasn't surprised that Montez knew what his best friend was doing to his little sister.

"I tried to warn his ass last night, but he was being stubborn about it," I said while getting up from the chair.

"But, imma head out since y'all are here just text me any updates on her condition aight?" Montez nodded his head, dabbing me up one more time before I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

✧˚° YASMINE I knew my brother was pissed off at Jey but couldn't pin all of the blame on him when it was honestly Carmelo's fault for doing what he had done to me.

"When I see his ass, it's on sight like what does Liv Morgan have that you don't?" Montez said as I shrugged my shoulders, not having an answer.

I didn't really want to talk about Jey and Liv anymore because the more he talked about them, the more I started to disassociate myself from the topic.

Until Bianca changed the subject, seeing me not engaging in the conversation, "You know you're going to relinquish the title right until you're are healed up from your injuries," I sighed and nodded my head, knowing that my dreams were going to come down, after this.

"Yeah, I know, which sucks, but I guess she's going to have to take it back and then brag about it in my face," I commented.

"Hey, she's a fucking whore and a loser for thinking that she's better than you. When she's not, you will get your title back, Minks," She reassured me, which made me smile a bit.

"But first you have to heal yourself from everything that Carmelo has done to you and then with Jey...I know you might seen him as your peacemaker but not anymore," It hurt deeply knowing that I'm going to ignore him but it's the best way for myself.

Before I could speak we heard the door banging as Montez went to go open the door hearing some rambling noise from the outside the door.

"Nah, nigga you broken my trust Uce how could you do that to my little sister dawg,"

"It's not even like that...Montez I swear you know how much I love Yasmine,"

"Yeah, aight whatever dawg you're only fucking my little sister not loving her when she's been through enough especially with that Nigga Melo so you should go home,"

"Just let me see her for a second, then I'll go please,"

I knew that Jey wanted to see me, but I wasn't so sure if I wanted to see him. After all, he has Liv to be worried about and not me since we aren't even a thing, just best friends with benefits, nothing more.

I saw him and Montez coming into the room together, and Jey stood there in the middle. Meanwhile, Bianca popped him upside the head, causing him to hiss while giving her a stern expression.

"I can't believe you did this to her when she's been through enough, Jey, but I can't blame you only partially," Bianca said as she folded her arms.

"Can you guys give us a moment alone—" Before I could say anything, Montez spoke up.

"Nah, I wanna hear what he has to say in front of me and Bianca," He said as I rolled my eyes at him, looking at Bianca for some help.

She understood, looking at her husband and signaling him with her head for them to go outside so that Jey and I could speak to each other. He wanted to protest, but Bianca threw her hand up, making him flinch while grabbing his ear and dragging him outside.

"If anything happens, just let us know, okay?" Bianca said as I nodded my head.

I turned my head toward the view outside, admiring the tall buildings and the sky as I heard Jey sitting down on the couch.

I could feel him staring down at me deeply, but I could not say anything right now. "Can you talk to me, please? Minks," he was now begging me to talk to him when I didn't have anything to say.

"What is there to talk about, Josh? You made your choice; you don't want me, and I completely understand. Honestly, I'm not the type of girl you want who's all broken up, you know," I stated while folding my arms over my chest.

"Minks that's not true and you know that...I want you and only you," Jey said.

I scoffed at his statement knowing damn well that he didn't want me I mean I'm a broken spirit with commitment issues and trust issues due to what happened to me.

That's why I need to be alone for a while until I'm healed because if me and him continue this way, I'm going to end up killing myself, honestly.

"Look, I'm going to get straight to the point with you. We can't be doing this anymore, Josh. I have to heal and be alone before I end up doing something very compulsive." I could see his facial expressions change.

"W-what you mean?"

"I'm saying if we keep doing this, I might end up killing myself without a second thought," I said, making eye contact with him.

I could see that he regretted his actions and what he had done, but it's too late now. "I love you, Josh, I really do, but I just can't be doing this back-and-forth shit with you," He nodded his head while running his hands against his beard, feeling distraught.

He got up from the couch and walked towards me. I felt scared, not knowing what he was going to do, until he grabbed me by the chin and placed his soft lips upon mine.

This kiss seemed a bit different from what we normally do when we're together. We made out for a few minutes before he could pull away, gazing into my eyes.

"A'ight then...Yasmine, I'll see you whenever..." Jey said as he walked away from me, heading towards the door.

He looked back at me one more time before exiting my room. That's when Montez and Bianca came back in, seeing my face as flushed.

"Girl, what happened?" She questioned me.

"I-I don't know..."

✧˚° I was discharged from the hospital, and Montez, along with Bianca, decided to take me home since my car was wrecked from the accident. I placed my finger over my lips, reminiscing about the kiss we had shared earlier. It felt so different, but I couldn't pinpoint why it stirred such feelings in me. As we finally arrived home, I brushed the thoughts aside, not wanting to dwell on them any longer.

As I got out of the car, I was limping slightly, and Montez supported me as we walked toward the front door. Bianca unlocked it with her key, and we finally entered the house.

I assured Montez that I could go upstairs on my own. I carefully made my way up the steps, trying not to hurt myself. When I finally reached my bedroom, I shut the door behind me.

I plopped onto my soft bed, letting out a deep sigh as I placed my hands on my stomach and looked up at the popcorn ceiling.

I'm drowning in thoughts, hoping I'm making the right choice with Jey. I love him so much that I want him to stay, but I had to choose what was best for me, and this was the only option.

He and Liv can finally be happy knowing that I'm out of the picture, especially since I have to relinquish my title just for her to wave it in my face later on.

My thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of my phone when I grabbed it out of my purse and saw that Trinity was calling me.

OTP Trin🤭🫶🏽: Hey, babygirl! Just checking in on you I heard you got discharged today. Minnie🧃: yeah, I'm okay Trin Trin🤭🫶🏽: you sure? You don't sound like it did something happen? Minnie🧃: you can say something like that... Trin🤭🫶🏽: what happened? 🤨 Minnie🧃: well I called things off between Me and Jey but the crazy thing is, is that we made out before he left... Trin🤭🫶🏽: YASMINE! Minnie🧃: whaaat??? he doesn't want me Trin what's the problem? Jey made his choice to be with Liv Trin🤭🫶🏽: honey you were supposed to push him away when he did that why didn't you? Minnie🧃: I don't know it felt different this time honestly, enough of that is him and Jon good? Trin🤭🫶🏽: not necessarily...but they're trying to keep cool Minnie🧃: oh well they will figure it out but I'm going to go so I can rest that damn hospital bed was so uncomfortable Trin🤭🫶🏽: kk get some rest okay?

CALLED ENDED.

I placed my phone next to me on the bed and went back to looking up at the ceiling, being in my thoughts yet again, hearing a knock on my door.

I saw Bianca coming in and shutting the door behind her as she sat down next to me in bed.

"Girl, what happened with you and Jey?" Bianca questioned me.

I knew that she was going to ask me what happened between me and him when I didn't really want to talk about it because I didn't know myself.

"I told you I don't know...B," I said, trying to avoid the conversation. She gave me a stern expression as I sighed.

"We made out...after I told him I wanted to end things between us with the whole best friend with benefits thing, this time it felt differently than before,"

She covered her face with her hand. "Yasmine, are you really crazy about this man?" she asked. I would be lying if I said I wasn't crazy for him, but I had to do what was right.

"I'm not B. I promise. I want to move on from this and focus on my career. I hope he and Liv do well together."

"Well, I understand, but don't break your promise, and remember to protect your heart." I nodded as she got up from my bed and headed towards the door, shutting it.

I sighed softly, praying that I wouldn't break my promise to myself because of his effect on me. I felt like if he had texted me, I would probably have texted him.

As soon as I said that, I felt my phone buzz. When I picked it up, I knew that it was him. He sent a message with an attachment, which made me nervous.

When I opened the message, my eyes went wide seeing his eight-inch pretty dick on my screen.

IMESSAGE 💬 Joshua🤍: I miss you mamas Joshua🤍: lemme' come get you

I was hesitant about it because I would be breaking my promise to myself, but I had to do something.

Yasmine🩵: Josh we can't and I can't Joshua🤍: c'mon it'll be one time and that's it you won't see me anymore I just wanna see your pretty ass face again Yasmine🩵: that's what you have Liv for Josh I'm not some type of rebound just because Liv isn't available for you. Joshua🤍: don't be like that Minks Yasmine🩵: this is how I truly feel Josh, I feel like a rebound for you that's all I'm ever going to be nothing more. Joshua🤍: mamas Yasmine🩵: look I gotta go Josh I got things to do Joshua🤍: please mama don't shut me out I'm sorry Yasmine🩵: I'm not shutting you out Josh I just need time to heal from all of this and if you're really sorry then you need to prove that to me honestly.

I placed my hand on my chest, trying to calm myself down, hoping that he wouldn't show up to convince me.

I got up from my bed and went to my dresser, pulling out a pair of clothes before heading into the shower. After my shower, I wrapped a towel around my body, and as I walked out of the bathroom, the cool breeze hit me.

I sat down on my bed and grabbed my phone. Noticing several missed calls from Jey, I decided to ignore them and turned my phone over.

As I did that, I began applying lotion to my skin, making sure I wasn't ashy. While I was in the middle of this, I felt my phone vibrating. When I picked it up, I saw that Jey was calling me again.

'Why is he calling me for when I already needed to say what I needed to say?'

I decided to ignore his call and put the lotion on my dresser before putting on my pajamas for tonight since it was going to be cold.

'He's calling me again bro.'

I'm being bombarded with calls and messages from him repeatedly. I lie down in my bed, get under my blankets, and start scrolling through my social media. That's when I check my notifications and see his messages and calls. I can't help but roll my eyes.

I know that ending things between us probably hurt him, but it hurt me even more. He only sees me as a rebound whenever Liv isn't giving him what he wants. He comes to me, knowing I'll always be there to give him something.

"You have one voice message from Joshua🤍"

I clicked on the message to see what he had to say before going to bed because I didn't have time for this.

Joshua🤍: Mama, please baby, I don't see you as that. You know how much I love you fr fr lemme' prove that to you please.

Turning off my phone and placing it on the charger, I realized I was entering another toxic cycle, this time with a different person than Melo.

I often struggle with situations like this, but I realized that I must prioritize my own healing and growth. I need to become a better version of myself. If he wants another chance, he will have to prove that he deserves it.

I just decided to send him a message back before heading to bed.

Yasmine🩵: Give me time, Josh. I need it. Then we will see from there, but for now, I need to heal.

I sent the message by turning off my phone, getting comfortable in my blankets, closing my eyes, and drifting off to sleep.

Something Bout' Us.

A/n: I honestly hope Yasmine heals and comes back from all of this trauma that she is dealing with at the moment, and I hope Jey gets it together.

JIMMY DID HIS BIG ONE TONIGHT. ALSO, I CANT STAND CM PUNK AND JEY LIKE THEY'RE ARE SO FUNNY, BRO, BIG BACK ASSES, LOL. THEN JIMMY DONE BROKE HIS TOE LIKE LAWD.

But I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. lmk in the comments below.

STAY UCEY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NAOMI 🩷🫶🏽

[physalian]

So you’ve got an idea for a story….

Once again and as always, writing is highly subjective and any writing advice that says you *must* do X or all books *must* include Y or doing Z during your writing process is *wrong* kind of misses the point of the freedom of storytelling and I’m not a fan. This is how I approach writing and one way you could consider doing the same if you’ve got all these ideas and nowhere to put them, not the way you must approach writing.

Cool? Cool.

—

We’ll start with how I write fanfic because that’s a far less intimidating market. I don’t write drabble fics and coffee shop AUs. I grew up writing fix-it fics and in-universe canon divergences. Essentially: Stop the real story right here, now what if this happened instead?

Personally, I just don’t get fulfillment from writing fanfic fluff (though I do love reading it). Even if I’m committing time and effort into something that will never make me money and that people might not even read for fun due to dead fandoms or whatever, I’m still going to use it as writing exercise and give it some substance.

That’s just me, though. I used to write stuff like character studies and deep dives, and the last fic I wrote to date was a “hey what if this villain went to the good side way sooner and it wasn’t just played as a joke on his cowardice?” and its sequel.

So I started that first fic with an idea: What if K joined the good guys earlier? How would that impact the story?

Immediately after that, I was thinking about the ending and what tentpole ideas in the canon I wanted to keep, but the meat of the story I knew I wanted to focus on K’s emotional and existential struggle of switching sides, risking becoming an enemy to both factions, after the inciting incident of his (absolutely canonical) partner’s murder, that, in canon, did not get the justice he deserved. When I wrote my post about beginnings and endings, I said that endings for me are way easier than beginnings—this is why. Before I even start writing, my ending is decided.

Basically: Yes, I’m writing a story using someone else’s fictional characters, as one does when writing fanfic. The story uses cartoon characters, but it’s about one person’s struggle with their identity in the wake of tragedy, and how they take life by the horns to make it out of the story the hero they deserve to be recognized as.

And with that core idea in mind, then I write the story around it. The story, which, outside the canon that I had to keep, I had no plan for. The settings and minutiae of the set pieces weren’t as important as what each scene did for the themes and K’s emotional reaction to them happening. I needed to give him enough alone time with the characters of the hero team to learn something from them, enough time on his own to test his new loyalties, and enough time with his old team so he can juxtapose the two and make sure he’s doing the right thing by deserting.

The last thing on my mind was what tropes I wanted to fulfill. Romantic subplots and the like just kind of happened organically and weren’t planned.

—

For Eternal Night of the Northern Sky the idea I had was this: Most vampire stories are about the drama surrounding vampires that depend on humans to survive. So what if I wrote a story where humans depended on vampires to survive, in the exact same way?

Yes, the story is about vampires and everyone can say what they will about people who write vampire fiction. But it’s really about what it means to be a monster when survival demands some brutal decisions. What does it mean to be a monster if everyone is a monster?

ENNS wasn’t planned, I just started writing and had the first draft done in 31 days and through the entire editing process, the plot didn’t change from draft 1 to draft final, save for a few scenes where I had to fix the surface level problem some characters were facing, but not the reason why they were facing it.

The plot never needed massive rewrites because every scene reflected back on the core themes of the story, and every single scene was necessary to tell it. So even when I had to change the intensity of an argument or flesh out a conversation or change the tone of something here or there, the purpose of whatever was underneath remained.

With that throughline in mind, the rest of the book fell into place around it. My core characters each have a role to answer that thematic question, and side characters around then were created to fill in the world, provide friends, relatives, romances, and the like, each with their own perspectives still on that one big question. My villains, too, all exist to answer that question. Outside of the romances, every single scene is doing at least one thing either for the plot, the protagonist, or the deuteragonist to answer that question. ENNS’ secondary themes were also written into as many scenes as I could (of which I won’t spoil here).

When you write with a theme like this in mind, it gives you these sort of bowling bumper rails to help keep you from straying off into superfluous storylines that bog down the pacing and start to feel messy.

Yes, you’re writing fanfic. But what is it really about? Now maybe it is just a coffee shop AU or 50k words of smut—you do you. Not everything has to be deep and meaningful beyond being entertaining. Themes just provide direction.

For example, I like the idea of slowburn fanfics. The idea. I will happily sit down for a fic that’s half a million words long if the characters and the slowburn are compelling enough. There might not be themes, but the story never forgets its throughline—these two characters eventually coming together.

In practice, though, I see way too many “slowburn” fics out there that are just 90% fluff. The chapters stagnate, trading development for taunting the audience with the will they/won’t they. The plot toddles off to to play around in irrelevant scenes with irrelevant characters. Things that probably wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t already expecting the romance that was promised, the romance I have to keep waiting for when I could just go read something else that delivers it faster and clearer.

—

Even if your writing process begins with a few scattered sticky notes and a notion of what you kind of want it to be about, you don’t have to hammer out pages of prose to be productive.

If you get stuck halfway through, having your throughline helps you sit back and ask yourself this very important question: What does Character want, how do they get it, and what’s in their way?

[writingquestionsanswered]

Scared to Commit to Dream Project

xuliaxuxu asked: I'm an aspiring author who has been writing for a long time but never actually committed to my dream project because it scares me. I've read a lot about structure, good character development and arcs, and how it all works, but I'm still scared of not being able to write a story I'm proud of. Do you have any tips on how to get through the outlining process and first draft without feeling so much pressure on your shoulders? And are the first steps in writing a novel where you have so many ideas but don’t know how to organise them? It’s been a lonely process since I have no writer friends to talk about these specific struggles. Thank you for your lovely work here on tumblr it has been inspiring me a whole lot!

[Ask edited for length]

If it's any reassurance, the fact that you've been teaching yourself about structure and character development puts you ahead of a lot of writers when they first start out. But it's also a bit of a double-edged sword, because that knowledge raises the bar for what you expect to be able to accomplish. And unfortunately, having the knowledge doesn't mean you can instantly apply it perfectly. You still need to practice applying that knowledge before you can get really good at it. It's sort of like this: if you wanted to get really good at hand lettering, you could watch hours and hours of videos about how to do it... you could learn about the different techniques and the lingo, etc., but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do flawless hand lettering the first time you pick up a brush marker. You'll still have to actually practice those techniques for a while to get really good at it. Writing is the exact same way. And that can be frustrating because you know what you want to accomplish, and you have the knowledge to get yourself there, you just don't have the actual skills to actually get there yet.

So, here's what I recommend... keep the dream project on the back-burner for now. You can still work on the pre-planning (because even that qualifies as practice), but in the meantime work on other projects to get the practice in. There's a little bit of sacrifice here because you should find ideas you're excited about, but you have to write them knowing they're not going to be your best work. And that's fine, because writing them doesn't mean you have to share them or publish them. You can write them and keep them on the shelf as a reminder of the work you've done along the way. You can also revisit favorite projects later to revamp them with a more practiced skill set.

Working on something you're excited about and love--but which has the leeway to be not your best work--is the absolute best way to take the pressure off yourself when outlining and getting through the first draft. Once you've done this a few times and you know you're getting the hang of it, you can revisit your dream project, and just the fact that you know what you're doing will take a ton of that pressure off. Another thing that will help once you get to that point is remembering that your outline and first draft don't have to be perfect--and they won't be. Part of the writing process is having the flexibility to change things as you go, to tweak and improve, even into the later drafts. Developmental editing wouldn't exist if your outline and first draft had to be structurally perfect. :)

As far as organizing a lot of ideas, you might find it helpful to find a story planner of some kind. These exist as web sites (Novlr), apps (Fabula), programs (Scrivener), workbooks (Outlining Your Novel Workbook by K.M. Weiland), and you can even find time for download on Etsy. You can probably also find free ones to download if you can't spend any money. If nothing else, get yourself a multi-subject notebook and divide it into sections like plot, characters, world, brainstorm and get all those ideas out into their individual sections. Even that can make a big difference.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[wolfsbane-if]

Wolfsbane FAQ

For anyone who can't access the FAQ page through the Tumblr mobile app, I've copied and pasted it below:

1. Where can I play the game?

Right here!

2. Is there a Discord server for Wolfsbane?

Nope! Wolfsbane doesn’t have a Discord server or CoG forum thread associated with it; all info and content will be shared right here.

3. How often does it update?

Wolfsbane was initially updated on a per-chapter basis, but my plan now is to hopefully finish the first draft of the game before updating the public demo again. Wolfsbane was last updated on June 28th, 2022, and currently contains the prologue and first four chapters.

4. Regarding asking about future events, plot points, choices, or outcomes:

As a general rule, I don’t discuss future game content before it happens in the game itself. I’m the sort of author who feels a story out as I write it, and the nature of WIPs means that things are very subject to change and I don’t yet know what all I’ll be able to deliver on, so I prefer to not publicly commit to anything ahead of time. For that reason, I’d prefer to not receive any questions asking if a certain event/outcome will happen, if the MC will be able to make a certain choice, or if a character will ever do or experience a particular action or feeling. I don’t have an answer for asks of this nature because I simply don’t know, and even if I have an idea in place, I’d rather not discuss it before it appears in the story proper, lest things change from how I’ve envisioned them along the way. While questions about future happenings in the game are off limits, however, I alternatively welcome asks regarding general worldbuilding, hypothetical scenarios, and characters and events as they were in the past or are in the present. Asks about worldbuilding are tagged #Wolfsbane Worldbuilding Thank you for understanding!

5. Who are the ROs?

So far, no one. I feel that the label of RO carries with it certain connotations, such as each character getting a similar amount of spotlight, development, and time with the MC; but Wolfsbane is not primarily a romance story and I don’t know if looking at the characters through that lens would be beneficial for setting expectations. My intent is for Wolfsbane to be a story about characters and their experiences rather than a dating sim about love interests, and for now my focus is on developing those arcs asymmetrically and without romance being the intended culmination. Elements of romance and romantic feelings are touched on throughout the story, but not in the way that is typical for IFs.

6. Is Wolfsbane genderlocked?

Nope! The MC isn’t locked to a specific gender; there just isn’t an option to specify it in-game because it hasn’t actually come up at all. I’ll be sure to include a choice of male, female, or nonbinary if/when it becomes relevant, but feel free to imagine your Wolfsbane however you please.

7. How tall is Garamond?

Height chart can be found here!

8. Do you accept NSFW asks?

I don’t necessarily mind asks with NSFW topics, although I do ask that they please be actual questions I can discuss as opposed to just sharing NSFW thoughts/fantasies. I’d also prefer they be kept in line with the content level of Wolfsbane itself (eg: sex is mentioned but never particularly detailed). If you’d like to filter NSFW content out for yourself, the tag I use is #nsfwolfsbane.

[echos-gal]

Get to know your mutuals!

@orbitalmirror this took one thousand years bc it was sitting in my drafts. i apologize 😔😔😔

What's the origin of your blog title? i think echo is stupid hot. he was my #1 clone crush until he was dethroned in season 2 of the bad batch. by whom? i thought it was obvious 🤓

OTP(s) + Shipname: TECHPHEE. god. Pabu aired, i watched it several times, and i fear i will never ever be normal again. when that novel comes out on august 5th i will be insufferable.

Favorite color: blue! so many nice shades. also many greens, dandelion yellow, light pink, and lavender!!

Favorite game: pokemon sapphire. pokemon leafgreen and animal crossing new horizons are very close behind! i'm a nintendo girl 💕

Song stuck in your head: I Am Ready (from TBB S3) and that's unfortunate bc this song makes me really sad.

Weirdest habit/trait? i think my sister could eviscerate me by answering this question. so i texted her. she says it's the way i eat chips. negative ego boost -10000 HP. on the floor. thousands dead no survivors i will not be eating chips ever again ❌✋😔🚫💔

Hobbies: running, knitting/crocheting, reading, tending to my garden/hydroponic garden!

If you work, what's your profession? i'm the senior research technician at a freshwater science laboratory. a lot of my job is aquatic chemistry 😟

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? botanist/oceanographer/astrobiologist and science writer! i have a lot of interests and they all involve science.

Something you're good at: fixing and building/assembling things! at my job i have a lot of machinery that needs routine maintenance and it's so much fun to work with my hands. it's like high-stakes legos! in a good way.

Something you're bad at: comforting others. i genuinely never know what to say or how to say it.

Something you love: my cat! she is a calico who squeaks instead of meows.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: well. (gestures at my blog) the bad batch. BUT ALSO SCIENCE! so many areas of science. oceans, space, and botany are the big 3 for me but i love it all.

Something you hate: repetitive noises, and when i am having a conversation but there are one or more conversations i can hear. certain sounds or sound patterns make it really hard for me to focus.

Something you collect: wheat pennies! aka american one cent coins minted between 1909-1958. i think i came across my first WWII penny in high school and i thought it was the coolest shit ever. because it was!!

Something you forget: to put the cadmium coil on the nutrient analyzer when i am supposed to be activating the cadmium coil. that's the whole point. but noooo i go through all the motions and run 2N HCl and then copper solution and then 2N HCl again through the machine and then i realize the coil never got connected and i have to do it all over again. it's akin to going to the grocery story for ingredients to make an elaborate salad and forgetting to buy the fucking lettuce. sometimes i hate my job

What's your love language? i've never really thought about it. probably acts of service. treat me really niceys

Favorite movie/show: must i say it (it's the bad batch)

Favorite food: tofu stir fry or cinnamon rolls! and also really good peaches.

Favorite animal: American toad (Anaxyrus americanus). they are so delightful. i'm sorry Vin... they do commonly eat your beloved earthworms 😔

What were you like as a child? quiet, smart, tomboyish, and curious.

Favorite subject at school? biology!

Least favorite subject: theology (went to catholic school kindergarten through high school)

What's your best character trait? relentless optimism/positivity, which i worked very hard to cultivate over the years!!! also a quick and eager learner

What's your worst character trait? i am a terrible procrastinator. i am also very indecisive/not good with commitment.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? i'd like to have my PhD right now thank you. also pick up the lab where i work and move it to my hometown so i can see my family, kind of like when patrick gets everyone to move bikini bottom.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Rachel Carson or Judy Resnik!

[zukkacore]

🌤️ & ☔ !!

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

okkk so this is cheating b/c this is actually. From an old draft of If You Want Divinity that was way darker. But I might reconstitute it for a new thing b/c I do.... like it, it just didn't fit with the tone:

“Or is this all a… What do you call it? A leap of faith?” He grabs Porter by the hair, pulling his head back so that he’s forced to look him in the eye. “Was there ever a moment you doubted my devotion?” His other hand wraps nicely around Porter’s throat, resting pretty. “Or did you always know I would choose you?” A Message. I can feel everything. All your rage, your shame, your desire, your lovely desperation. Your envy… Does that frighten you? To know you can never hide from me again? It must be some sort of miracle for him to actually intimidate Porter, but rage emboldens him. He’s kept two people under his skin so long that the company is comforting. You don’t have the guts. “You sure?” says Jace. A beat. Do it. His grip slackens.

I am gonna count Message as dialogue :')

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

I have a couple that I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish or go for. A lot of these are kinda ambitious which i used to take on with gusto but i do have a problem with abandoning shit (and delayed gratification) so the idea of committing myself to a big piece is like. Maybe.... maybe.... At the same time, i am that kind of ambitious person, short things are not normally what i do. I have a few ideas that are not the most fleshed out:

I do genuinely really like the idea of doing a You've Got Mail rival academies AU but i also know that would probably take a tone of work and i'm like..... ughhhh. But i think they could do the hate to love thing. Its the Nora Ephron n Meg Ryan collab i think is the most fitting for the two of them (although if there was a when harry met sally (evil version) Take..... maybe)

Vaguely a timeloop au sounds fun. I LOOOOVE a timeloop. and have been wanting to write one for forever but i don't have a strong Vision on it right now. Don't know if its a timeloop to change what happened kind of timeloop or a timeloop to realize you can never go back kind of timeloop. There's also the Timeloop as Redemption angle that i think is fun, that's the groundhog day thing that's the happy death day thing and i think there's precedent of it being like. a Chronomancy thing. Aguefort subject these bitches to a timeloop so you can put them back on your payroll im begging you

Althought time loop purgatory also goes hand in hand with my joke that Porter and Jace should be subjected to a Bad Place Elmville as hell punishment. A vaguely inspired Good Place AU would be really funny i think. Again, it's too formless for me to know what to do with it. I don't actually think it should be that they think they're in The Good Place, i think the trick should be they're convinced ankarna gave them a second shot at life so now they life in elmville only everything is shifted slightly to the left bc its a pocket hell dimension meant to torture them. Like Chidi and Eleanor, oops they fell in love. Again. This is formless.

ALSO kinda goes hand in hand with my joke abt Ankarnatown i made a while back like Jace fetching Porter from hell??? no notes. But like. damn i gotta make it myself?? That sucks

I honestly sincerely might write some zara/clones or lucilla/clones stuff. That ones purely and indulgence. Purely just for me. I wanted to include a small zara/jace throughline or a lucilla/j2 implication in Almost but it just like. Did not have the air for that i just felt like it didn't fit for the tone it just kinda was detracting (as much as zarajace making porter jealouse wouldve been fun) and just in there for me b/c i like Persephades Orphydice

Again this is formless. All i'm gonna say is i drew a gamechanger au. and now i think the idea of Aguefort subjecting his staff to gameshows for personal enrichment is so funny. Aguefort heaven is porter hell its a very efficient system

[stop-spreading-this-poll]

Round 1 Poll 53: Cut Content

Persona 5 submission:

Goro Akechi is a teen detective who had a very tough childhood, with a mother who died when he was young and an absent father who is just a complete POS. Long story short, he has, at best, a very questionable ending in the game. Even the devs themselves have gone on to say ""We left it ambiguous so players can choose what they want to believe."" ANYWAY NOW THAT CONTEXT IS OUT OF THE WAY There was found to be cut content of a post-ending scene in which Goro goes to a kakekomidera, a place that (with loose fan translations) is something along the lines of a shelter/place for people who are struggling to go. HOWEVER, it only gained traction due to this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ2QIwZqosQ, in which it was titled as him going to rehab. The video is a fan project, with fan translations, and the devs have never (as far as we know) commented on it. The cut scene is barely put together. It has no animations, no backgrounds, no character models to go with it, basically just some text. But the fans being the fans (and the running joke that persona fans can't read), it has become a popular thing that ""There is cut content of Goro going to rehab to fix himself up after the ending"" And it's just. NOT. TRUE. I am all for looking at and analyzing cut content, but like, this is just a whole thing. It can be very tiring to see people treat it like it's canon haha. TL;DR shorter version: Cut content of Goro Akechi ""supposedly"" going to rehab (you have my blessing to use all of this in a post as propaganda or what not) P.S. Thank you for this blog. Giving me a place to scream and rant about things like this LMAO

There is a deleted scene where Akechi is in ""rehab,"" except it's not actually rehab, it's a shelter temple for people on the run (traditionally battered wives though it's...expanded). The misconception is because the most known translation of the scene gets it wrong. Some folks will point to its existence as ""proof"" that Akechi never actually died the one time when...guys, cut content is cut for a reason. Yeah obviously they wanted ambiguity but that doesn't also mean they were dead committed to him being secretly alive to the point where it must have survived an obvious change in draft.

Portal submission:

There are cut voice lines that refer to a scientific experiment. However, the subject of the experiment is an unwilling subject, with her boss dismissing her wishes. The lines, admittedly, sound uncomfortably like a rape scene. Rumors have continually spread that the voice actors refused to do the scene, resulting in it's deletion. This is not true. Both voice actors voiced the scene just fine, and the scene was cut for time.

[wow-its-me]

Cool

I feel like people getting mad at dj for stuff he’s said in interviews is a combination of him not explaining himself well and people both assuming the worst and not understanding the whole process of how shows are made

Basically my point is

Nothing is ever how it was in its original draft

Jenkins created the show but making something like that is a collaborative process, writers, cast, and crew all giving input and making changes as it goes

Just because something was pitched to be different doesn’t mean it’s “how it was supposed to go”

Jenkins had an idea, he worked with people to expand upon it, look at it from other points of view, and make it better.

This doesn’t automatically mean he’s a bad person or that he’s bad at his job or that he didn’t properly think everything threw (which are all incredibly subjective opinions to make about a guy you don’t know)

HOWEVER yeah I think he’s bad at interviews lol

He’s said some stuff that sounded pretty contradictory about how the whole StedexEd thing happened and weather or not it was originally intended, (or it was implied, or they did love eachother but they didn’t confess, or it had a more tragic ending, or they never got together, or they didn’t officially add it until 1x6, or the did have it but he didn’t commit to them being official until 1x6, ect)

[solitalien]

Past Five Days/Weeks?

I really don’t have the time or energy to write this all down on my laptop, nor even text on my phone so I’m using a text to speech. I’ve come to the realization and I think I should’ve known earlier that I am an extremely pessimistic person. Like no matter how hard I try the bad always looks bigger to me.

It’s like looking at two circles, but because of the colors, one looks bigger than the other, even though they’re both the same size. It’s oddly strange. Even though that’s the case, I will say that this week has not been a bad one, or at least the past five days. I will say that I’ve had a good few days within the past week especially with my work, which, although I don’t talk about a lot, I extremely hate. Mostly because I have to do stuff I don’t want to do.

The hours and the days this week though have been really good. I have enjoyed it thoroughly. I remember the first day I got along extremely well with my coworkers. I met up with an old friend and I bought myself a doughnut. And it felt like a really good time Until while walking home, a car crashed into a guy on a motorcycle. My head I was like "Yep, this is how it always is you’re never going to have a good moment without something else. Tragic happening." I told my dad about it, but it didn’t really help, like why can’t you just understand that even though I’m sad about something and it clearly upsets me that you should just focus on the good. It’s not what I needed to hear.

I wrote that a month ago and I still kind of feel the same. As sad as that is, it's true. Though I feel a lot better since then. Reading this draft that I never posted does resurface all the negative feelings I felt before and even have now, but I know that it'll be okay.

I still feel that stinging emotion of sadness within me and I could go on and on with how that bothers me, but with lots of self-refection. I think I'll be okay.

I'm enjoying things that I couldn't for the longest time ever. I'm making amends with my siblings and working to be more supportive of them instead of trying to understand why they won't listen to me.

I got the two most essential things in life. Minecraft and Jesus (hehe). Seriously though I'm able to enjoy my time to play one of my favorite games, and to truly start a relationship with God.

It's a bit of change of subject but for the longest time I've wanted a relationship with God. Wanting to understand him and accept him into my life because there's no hurt in it. He's love and I love, love. I understand that It's a sensitive subject nowadays because of change and forced beliefs but know that I'm not like that. No matter what you think or believe I'm not here to force or over bare you with it. That's not fair, as any relationship requires consent and commitment. Not the other way around.

Anyway, I don't really feel like writing anymore so I'll leave you all with that. I'm doing quite well and just doing better. Honestly writing this makes me feel a bit stressed so I'll just end it here. I hope you're all happy, healthy and writing better than me.

[snowflake-of-destruction]

I can see it changing the night completely. Maybe if Yuuri had his phone, he wouldn't have gotten drunk at all. Yes, in the original he was actively trying to bury his emotions and forget his problems, but always having a drink in hand (or something to nibble on, but we'll concentrate on drinks because of the specific context) is also classic behavior for socially awkward or not-up-to-interaction-right-now and yet forced to be at a party. The built in excuse to look busy and/or avoid talking even when cornered because the mouth is occupied....only trumped by "looking down at my phone so I don't need to make eye contact either." And once Yuuri starts looking at his phone (or is allowed to continue looking at his phone as the case may be, because, yes, Celestino probably confiscated it in the original canon when Yuuri wouldn't stop seeking out the worst comments about his free skate, but I think he could have been convinced to relent on the argument that Yuuri thought his family might call again) then he would also get sucked into the distraction, obsessing over the words on the screen to the point where he forgets to be drivne to drink--still intending to bury himself in champagne to feel better...at some point...after he replies to one more thread on twitter that's making him feel worse...

But wouldn't that make for a boring divergence? Yuuri holed up in the corner on his phone and not becoming the life of the party and subject of albums full of blackmail photos or causing Victor to fall head over heels? Maybe, though it would be interesting in and of itself to see everything change if he never caught Victor's attention before the viral skate was posted and there was no talk of Victor becoming his coach to plant the idea in Victor's head, and so there was little reaction beyond a like from the v-nikiforov account on the triplets' video and then everyone (but the triplets) forgetting it happened.

But we want instant gratification here so consider that while reading criticisms of his free skate, interrupted by incoming condolence texts about both the Grand Prix and Vicchan, and then combing through photos of Vicchan in his photo gallery, Yuuri inevitably starts to cry again. Then Yuri Plisetsky, becoming the human version of the "How many times do we need to teach you this lesson, Old Man?" Spongebob quote, stomps over (because of course he was closely watching Yuuri from across the room, for reasons that he will deny and are NONE OF ANYBODY'S BUSINESS, SHUT UP) and starts screaming, unheeding of how much attention he attracts.

Victor follows him like a good babysitter and apologizes to Yuuri. "He doesn't know how to behave around people. I voted that we should kennel him along with Makkachin, but Yakov thought it was important that he compete in the final for the Juniors for some reason. Now what's wrong and how can I help?"

 Victor doesn't actually want to ask at first of course. Crying people make him uncomfortable, as we know, but Little Yuri's behavior forces his involvement and, well, seeing Yuuri cry hurts for some reason. 

Yuuri opens up about Vicchan and Victor and Yuri both become instantly 1000% more committed to this cheer up endeavor (First step is not yelling abuse at him, Yuri). 

And then...Hmmm....I'm not sure 

And coming back to see this stream of consciousness response saved in my drafts weeks later I'm still not sure where I would go with this idea except a general "dance battles still happen and photos of a more posed type are taken and numbers are exchanged. Yuuri doesn't bomb Nationals and finishes the season while often texting his new long distance friends with as much flirting as adivce coming from Victor" and then it becomes fuzzy from there and doesn't yet *pop* as an au like it would need to

SO

Let's play out another take:

THE ACCIDENTAL CATFISHING OF YUURI KATSUKI

Yuuri still gets balckout drunk at the baquet. He dances with everyone, strips for the pole, begs Vic to coach him, probably makes out sloppily with Victor until Victor summons restraint or someone else pulls them apart, and so forth all the usual escapades. Everything is the same except Yuuri has pictures and video of his own perspective of the banquet. A selfie series of him and his various dance partners and a mini video journal documenting how soft Victor's hair is in real life and how "WE ARE IN LOVE NOW AND HE'S GOING TO COOOOACH ME, MY VICTORUUU" is a must.

There are also two new contacts in his phone "Rude Russian" and "Better and Sexier Russian." Drunk Yuuri's idea of a joke, obviously, Hungover Yuuri --who remembers nothing but will freak out once he sees the pictures--figures.  Rude Russian must be that little punk that kicked down the bathroom door. As for "sexier and better"....well, he knows who that must be also.

He ignores both contacts for awhile, even when both text him, but eventually he's convinced, probably by Phichit, to not let this opportunity pass him by. He obviously charmed Victor on the dance floor, now he just needs to keep it up through text--which is easy since he can preplan his responses and make every word perfect. It's low pressure and he doesn't have to worry about seeing Victor in person and having a live conversation until Worlds unless he wants to set something up sooner. 

So Yuuri starts texting Better and Sexier Russian and charming him. Just friendly charming though. No sexting. He doesn't want to make Victor think Sober Yuuri is desperate after Drunk Yuuri probably already gave him that impression.

Yuuri deletes Rude Russian's messages or maybe does respond, but with a polite message about how he enjoyed meeting him, even though he really didn't enjoy that much he can remember, and "I can see from the pictures that we had fun in our dance battle, but I don't see what we would have to talk about now" that distances himself. He'd offer to send skating critiques or advice but he remembers the volatile little punk from the bathroom and decides better of it. Better just to say goodbye. 

Except....".Rude Russian" was actually a call out toward Victor Commemorative Photo Nikiforov and "Better and Sexier Russian" was Yuri grabbing Yuuri's phone and imputting his own contact after Yuuri told him "I don't need your number. I already have a Russian's number in there" 

Yuuri is unknowingly trying to start a long distance relationship with Yuri Plisetsky and told Victor not to contact him. 

I don't know how long the misunderstanding could be kept up though, but there's a lot of humor potential and of course at the end Yuri will have to matchmake the actual Victor with Yuuri

it occurs to me that probably the most plausible explanation for why Victor and Yuuri didn't trade phone numbers at the Sochi banquet, and why Yuuri himself has no photos or videos of same, is Yuuri just didn't bring his phone

(or his glasses)

fic prompt, free to a good home: what if he did

[miscellennyous]

Should You Major in English

I majored in English in undergrad.

Was that smart? I don't know. Do I regret my decision? Sometimes. Do I think majoring in something else would have solved my problems, watered my crops, and delivered my kingdom from a centuries-long curse? No.

Your Major Doesn't Matter

Oh come on now, you say. Surely that's not true. STEM degrees are just better. They're worth more. There's more job growth in those fields.

So let's talk about the disparity between jobs on paper and jobs in practice. To get a job these days, you have three options:

Apply for hundreds of roles and hope something sticks

"Network" and periodically bother randos about professional development

Be so rich you don't actually have to work

Basically, unless your degree comes with a certification or license that you definitely need to pursue your field of interest, your degree only loosely kind of sort of correlates to where you'll end up [source].

Even just in my small friend group, many of my peers with English degrees went on to work as project managers (construction), HR generalists, sales representatives, and IT specialists.

Meanwhile, of the people I know who graduated with STEM degrees, one worked as a sales representative for an HVAC company (geology), one works as a project manager (civil engineering), and my brother is the odd man out by actually using his chemistry degree for chemistry.

In short, there's a degree of randomness to finding a job after college. Not to mention, if you aren't particularly enthusiastic about coding, math, or chemistry you aren't likely to enjoy doing it for 40 hours a week. Lastly, there might just not be a lot of jobs in your geographic region that require STEM degrees.

So I Should Major in English?

No, probably not. Not unless your university specifically prepares you for career searches because once you graduate no one you talk to will have a goddamn clue how your thesis about Moby Dick demonstrates analytical thinking and writing capability.

I can't comment on what most universities offer, but look for some kind of professional writing, web writing, and career readiness course in the retinue. Literary analysis (the bulk of most English major coursework) is great if you enjoy it. It's less great if you have to convince a recruiter that it's somehow relevant.

What Are English Majors Good At?

English majors are really, really, really good at drafting a whole thought from start to finish. This is a skill that you'll need in any profession. English majors train you in a versatile way to tackle a wide variety of subject matter, even things you aren't necessarily familiar with.

Short version, you're going to learn:

How to read dense text written by some guy who had no idea how to talk to regular people

How to explain that dense text in a logical way

This, coincidentally, prepares you extremely well for roles where you need to somehow translate technical subjects into plain English. This is never a bad thing to know.

Your Plan Will Change

Likely, you'll start off college with some idea of what you want to do and promptly change your mind for some reason or another.

I majored in English because I started as a Psychology major and I hated it. I spotted a factual inaccuracy in one of my textbooks for a 100-level class and couldn't stop doubting the course material. I brought it to my professor's attention and she didn't seem very concerned.

I decided at that point that psych wasn't for me and jumped over to English because I couldn't think of anything else I really wanted to do and biology was really only geared towards premed students.

English was flexible enough that I could study things that interested me without fully committing to any of them. (I went on to become a technical writer, which lets me study things that interest me without fully committing to any of them.)

TLDR

English majors are fine, make sure you take a resume-writing class and try to sneak an internship in there somewhere if you don't wanna get stuck in Academia.

[sunshinewhale]

I dont wanna sound pushy but how long is it going to take? TT ^ TT can you be a spoiler fairy? Hyungwonnie is my ult bias and Im just so excited and so ready to cry with a box of tissues. uwu

I’m spoiler fairy:

“I’ve never seen him love anyone like he loves you,” he confesses, “you have nothing to be afraid of.”

She looks at him, and his breath loses itself to the glint of soft tragedy in her eyes. He sees hopelessness at peace, he thinks she’s too restrained for a heart that’s never been shattered—

Hyungwon realizes she’s been shattered all along, by her own hands.

“I’m not afraid he’ll leave me,” she whispers, and it’s the first thing that falls from her lips with certainty, “I’m waiting for when he will.”

[leogichidaa]

Where is the Loyalty? Regulus and Peter

It occurred to me yesterday (note: this has been in my drafts since October 8. Yesterday was over a month ago) that I've made a meta about the parallels between Remus and Regulus (The Great Pretenders) and James and Regulus (Mine!) and I'm constantly comparing and drawing parallels between Sirius and Regulus, but I've left poor Peter out! Which is really an oversight, because there's plenty to draw from in comparing their arcs.

A while back, I was discussing why I related to Regulus with a colleague. I brought up Regulus' (largely self-imposed) limited agency and the fact that he goes along with others' expectations, just floating through life like a leaf in a stream, subject to the mercy of the current. And my colleague's reply was, "Well, he was the ultimate follower until he wasn't." I think that applies to Peter as well.

The Ultimate Follower

Regulus, at least from the information we get in canon, was happy to follow the path laid out for him by his parents. Later, as an adolescent, his rebellious teenage act appears to be becoming an underling doing the bidding of a fascist terrorist leader. Kreacher tells us (emphasis mine):

and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve 

So happy to serve...setting aside what it means for a house elf to talk about his beloved Master as someone who is eager to serve, that is quite the statement. Regulus, who was raised to believe that his blood made him superior, reportedly took pride in being an obedient and loyal follower and allowing himself to be subservient to others in the name of the cause.

Peter is also described consistently as a follower who seems to delight in taking a backseat to more powerful, assertive, and ambitious men. The first time he is ever mentioned he is described as "tagging around after" Sirius and James. He "hero-worshipped Black and Potter" according to McGonagall (and Regulus' Voldemort collage also smacks of hero-worship).

Everyone in Three Broomsticks during this conversation also calls Peter "little" about a hundred times. Regulus, too, is described as "smaller, slighter" than Sirius. A minor detail, but metaphorically, this plays into the idea that they are weaker, softer, less capable, and thus more naturally inclined to follow the lead of others.

Sirius mentions in the Shrieking Shack in PoA that Peter wanted to make sure Voldemort was the "biggest bully in the playground" before he committed to supporting him. He said that Peter "always liked big friends who'd look after you" and implied that Peter snuck around with "people who were stronger and more powerful" than him. Sirius also describes Regulus as "soft enough to believe [their parents]"; he sees Regulus as pliable and inclined to fall in line with stronger minded people.

Sirius also claims that he suggested the change in Secret Keeper because Voldemort would never suspect that a "weak, talentless thing" like Peter would be entrusted with the duty. He tells Harry "I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person." He uses Voldemort's assumed low opinion of Peter and Regulus as a way to further degrade their value (which is...interesting).

It's worth noting that I think Sirius' assessment of both of them is flawed. I think he underestimates Peter to his great detriment. And, as I've mentioned before, he minimizes Regulus' agency and crimes to make Regulus' choices more palatable.

I don't think there's anything soft, weak, or cowardly about joining a war. 'Oh, but Leo, they were followers,' you might say. 'They were peer pressured into joining because they were too frail minded to decide not to actively fight in a war.' But that doesn't add up, imo, especially when you consider that they each betrayed their side in the end. When I was that age, I was soft-spoken, people pleasing, and cowardly. If my besties from high school were like, "hey, we're going to fight a bunch of violent bigots and risk torture and death, come join us," I would have wished them luck and then fled the country. Fuck that shit, I'm out.

The fact remains, though, that both Regulus and Peter were perceived as weak and inferior boys who clung to the apron strings of stronger friends and allies.

(It's interesting to note that in PoA, Harry imagines the scene of Sirius cornering and killing Peter and he pictures Peter looking like Neville. It's unsurprising that Harry makes that link with the information he has at the time, but the comparison to Neville isn't entirely off base in the end. Neville is also thought to be soft, weak, and incompetent, but turns out to be much stronger and more assertive than anyone would have expected.)

Until He Wasn't

Peter, who was "never in [James and Sirius'] league, talent wise", and Regulus who was never "important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person" had their limits to loyalty, as it turned out. We don't get any solid indication about why either of them decided to turn traitor to their side, but I'm going to speculate that being constantly underestimated didn't exactly engender allegiance in them.

In the glimpse of the marauder dynamic that we get in Snape's Worst Memory, it is clear that Peter is at the bottom of the friendship hierarchy. He plays the role of James' cheerleader and ego-booster and he's mocked by Sirius for it. In fact, the Pottermore article on Remus confirms that James and Sirius were never really inclined to be friends with Peter in the first place:

Remus, always the underdog's friend, was kind to short and rather slow Peter Pettigrew, a fellow Gryffindor, whom James and Sirius might not have thought worthy of their attention without Remus's persuasion.

Not thought worthy of their attention...ffs. Well, he certainly got their attention in the end and showed he was talented and clever when he systematically ruined their lives.

For Regulus, I think Voldemort discarding Kreacher was very much symbolic of the lack of care and respect that Voldemort had for the old pureblood families, like the Blacks. I think the horror of the Horcrux was the primary motivator for Regulus to disavow Voldemort, but I think the disrespect was deeply important to him as well. His letter to Voldemort starts with "I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret." It was not enough for him to steal the Horcrux, he needed Voldemort to know that it was little teenage Regulus who fucked him over in the end. Unfortunate that Voldemort never actually found out he stole it because Harry got there first.

I think that both Regulus and Peter had strengths that were often overlooked because they were compared to more boisterous, outspoken people like Sirius. I think they were both eager for some recognition of their value and had a strong desire to prove themselves, which was likely a draw that brought them into the war in the first place. But in the end, they were neither of them content with the way their side treated them. Regulus decided, more wisely, "fuck everyone", stole a Horcrux, and promptly died. Peter, for whatever reason, decided to keep being an underling, just for a different, objectively worse, boss. In the end, though, he, like Regulus, died at the hands of Voldemort's magic for defying Voldemort.