#super accurate I love the way the slides sound. they nailed the slides

[frascospecimen]

I’m so charmed by the donkey kong 64 soundtracks use of trombone

[mochie85]

The Girl In The Mirror

One-Shot Masterlist Complete Masterlist

A/N: This was a request sent in through my chat by a reader: "For the fic, Loki is dating F!Reader and is madly in love - Reader is super confident and sexy, too. Loki admits one evening that he's jealous of her body, and Reader suggests that Loki take her body for a spin - he can do it with his magic, after all. Loki admits that he's never taken a woman's form before. What follows is Reader helping Loki accurately mimic her image, Loki getting used to being in a woman's body (trying on clothes, etc) and soon the two of them have sex so Reader can show Loki what it feels like." Summary: Loki is curious about being a woman, never having done it before. You encourage him to mimic your body and then show her all the ways you enjoy using it. Word Count: 2.6K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader x Female!Loki Warnings: Smut. +18 Only. WlW. Oral Sex (Female receiving). Fluff ending. Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Your back hit the soft cotton sheets beneath you. Your sweat-slicked skin gave you goosebumps from the cold air. Your heartbeat was frantic. Your breathing, erratic. And the sexual god next to you turned over to his side only to capture your lips in his once again.

“You’re ravenous tonight, my love,” you sighed as he continued his luscious attack on your neck. He didn’t answer back. Loki just continued praising your body with his soft lips.

“You’re perfect.” He breathed onto your skin. “Your skin is so smooth and soft.” He kisses you right on your collarbone. “Your breasts are so round and supple,” he says as he takes one of your pebbled nipples into his mouth. You moan when his tongue flicks the tip. “You taste utterly divine.”

You run your hands through his hair. Your nails scratched at his scalp making him wince with pleasure. “Such a perfect body. I will never get enough.” He says as he delves in between your thighs.

Long strokes of his tongue made you whimper and moan.

“Harder, please…” you whined. Loki obliged with a chuckle as his strong tongue laps in between your folds, capturing your sensitive clit, making you scream.

He knew exactly what to do to extract a certain sound from your cherry lips.

“Let go for me, baby,” he says into your throbbing pussy. Kissing it. Torturing you as he slides two of his long dexterous fingers inside your waiting core. You scream out your orgasm. His curled fingers hitting that spot inside you.

He looks up at you with his devilish smile still hidden inside your dripping cunt.

Memories of last night captivate your thoughts as you got dressed for the day in one of Loki’s favorite sundresses. He said he always loved how it complimented your figure and how the color brought out the warmth in your skin.

Loki came up from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he peppered your skin with his kisses.

“You’re beautiful, my love. So envious of you,” he said as his hands trailed down the fabric of your dress.

“What do you mean babe?” you asked, turning in his embrace. Loki stared into your eyes readying to confess something to you.

“In truth, I’ve always wanted to see what it would be like – what it would feel like – to be a woman.”

“It’s exhausting. You have to look like you tried, but not too hard, or else you get labeled as stuck up. You have to be sweet and approachable but not easy.” You listed off. Loki chuckled and held you tighter.

“I do not doubt the tribulations that women go through. You all are strong and fierce. Such qualities I admire and…envy.” He said smiling at you. “But that’s not what I meant precisely.” You saw reluctance there, in his smile.

“What is it, love? Tell me,” you said kindly. Loki stayed quiet, shaking his head.

Comprehension dawned on you when you replayed his words in your mind. “How do you feel, Loki?” You held his hands to reassure him. “What do you need from me? How can I help you?”

“I just need your love, darling.”

“And you have it. In abundance.” You smiled. “Have you ever shifted into a woman’s body before? Have you ever tried?”

“No. I don’t think I have. It wasn’t essential - in all my mischief and antics. I know I can do it. I’ve always been curious about it.”

“I see.” You stayed quiet, hoping to spur him on.

“I have found a home with you, dear heart. I know that, with you, my heart will always be safe.” He smiled up at you.

“I love you too, Loki.” You smiled as you squeezed his hands.

“I watch you and I see someone that I want to emulate. A strong, independent woman whose boldness rivals my own sometimes.” You both laughed. “It’s an alluring thought to have in your mind.”

“Use me, then. Use my body. Shift to look like me,” you offered. Loki paused for a moment. Thought running rampant in his head.

“Would you be ok with that? Are you sure? I would need a reference point, I suppose.”

“You know my body intimately more than anyone, Loki.” You whispered. “So, use it.” Loki stared at you a moment longer. A small smile crept up his lips.

“All right,” he said moving backward from you. He looked you over up and down. He twirled you around in a pirouette making you giggle as his hands roamed your body.

He gave you a quick peck on the lips, making you close your eyes. And when you opened them, you were staring at a duplicate of your heart-shaped face.

You marveled at how easy it was for Loki to change into a perfect replica of yourself. “Is this what I really look like?” you asked, checking yourself out up and down. Hot damn. No wonder he is constantly on me, you giggled in your head.

“This is how I see you. How everyone sees you.” Loki said. She even mimicked your voice. Down to the last syntax and accent. Your gaze wandered the whole length of your body – her body - until you looked up and gazed into her eyes. They were still the same. The same blue-green eyes you fell in love with all those months ago.

You stepped closer to her, running your finger down her cheek. Loki closed her eyes and nestled further into your touch.

“Please. I want to see your eyes,” you whispered to her. Loki opened them and stared back at you. “I’m glad those haven’t changed.” Your nose nuzzled up against hers. “I will always know it’s you.”

Loki wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you in closer. She kissed you. Hesitant at first. She didn’t want to scare you. It was your lips that you were feeling, but it was Loki’s kiss that had you dizzy. It was such a heady experience feeling his intoxicating kiss – an endless millennium of experience - coming from your fuller lips. You broke away, needing air, then kissed her back again. Greedy, needing more.

“Mmm. Ok, we should go do something, or we’re gonna be stuck here all day and not get a damn thing accomplished.”

“I’ll be fine with that,” Loki said leaning towards you again, capturing your lips. You giggled at her boldness. Loki’s undeniable bravado exudes from your well-toned body. It was a heart-shattering combination.

“Come on. I thought you wanted to take my body out for a spin.” You tried to break away.

“Don’t I already, darling?” she said pulling you back.

“I mean it, Loki! Let me take you out. So you can see what it’s like.” You giggled, pulling her along.

“Like on a date?” She asked excitedly.

“Ya. Yes! Exactly. Let me take you out on a date!” You hurried her along, pulling her towards your bedroom door. She caught a reflection of herself in the mirror and she paused.

You stopped to watch her as Loki finally realized what she had accomplished. Her hands roamed up and down her torso, landing on her ample breasts. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “These are…new.” You giggled as you watched her twirl and check out her body in front of the mirror. She rubbed her legs together unconsciously, feeling something was…missing. “It’s like a weight that subtly moved…up?!” Loki said raising her eyebrows.

Loki had never felt so dynamic before. To see herself as a woman. In your body. It was freeing, but reckless. Secure but careless. Beautiful but at the same time, deadly. Such a dichotomy warred within herself.

“Take a deep breath, my love. I’ve got you.” You whispered in her ear. Loki looked towards you. Her eyes were nearly covered with tears unshed as she nodded. “Let’s go!” You laughed as you pulled her along.

You hurried towards the elevator, holding Loki’s hand when you ran into Bucky drinking a bottle of water.

“Hi, Bucky!” you waved.

“Hello, Agent Barnes,” Loki said in your voice, winking back at him. Bucky erupted like a geyser spotting the two of you giggling and laughing at each other. He stared wide-eyed as the elevator doors closed to the sight of you kissing your other half on the lips.

You had the whole day spontaneously planned out. You wanted to show Loki all the things you loved to do. Things that made you feel powerful and confident as a woman. Things that you would do to recharge your mind and your body.

The first stop was a trip to the gym to showcase how flexible and agile her new body is. Next, was a spa trip to relax you both from the intense workout. Then, Bergdorf’s to try on some clothes and some makeup. There was even enough time for lunch at the café down the block.

Everything was the same, yet different. Loki was pretty much herself the whole time, her swagger, her demeanor – it was all on brand for Loki. She just happened to look like you. Yet, even then, Loki’s mannerisms and her signature facial expressions shone through from your face and made your visage entirely new.

She was hesitant when you took her clothes shopping. But all of her fears dissipated when you handed her a velvet, floor-length cocktail dress in dark forest green.

She looked absolutely stunning! And that confidence- that alluring arrogance that you had fallen for, came back tenfold when she walked out of that dressing room wearing the show-stopping dress.

You came back to your shared room after the long day, slumped down on the couch. “Ugh, I can see why you ladies hate heels so much,” Loki said taking off the offending sandals she bought at Bergdorf’s.

You laughed at her and sat down on the couch next to her. “Come here,” you told her as you placed her feet on top of your lap to give her a foot massage.

A deep sigh left her lips followed by a heady moan. “Is this what it feels like every time I rub your feet?” She asked, basking in the comfort of your able fingers. “No wonder you love foot rubs so much.”  

You let your fingers press on the pads of her feet a little longer. You were hypnotized by the softness of her skin – by the subtle gleam that shone through. Your hands drifted up her calves. Your lips followed, earning you a glance from Loki who was still lying down next to you.

You walked your fingers up her thighs, pushing the hem of her sundress in a flourish that made Loki giggle.

“Shall I make you feel other things too?” you whispered on her skin. She looked down at you with longing and half-lidded eyes. You continued your way up, kissing, sucking, biting. A sultry moan flies from her lips as you reach the wet lace of her panties.

You flatten your tongue, stroking from the bottom to the nub repeatedly. You felt the lace rub against your tongue. The fabric, damp, from your mouth and Loki’s eager cunt.  

You could taste her through the fabric. And she was delicious.

Your mind raced at the sensation of finally having her in your mouth. Relishing her. “Mmm. You taste so good, darling.” You said into her thigh and she let out the most carnal yell.

Music to your ears. The sound of your voice moaning. It was a fire that lit under you. A motivation that made you want to hear her again and again.

You moved the soaked panties to the side. Your lips felt wet heat and slick as you sucked on her nub.

“Oh, Norns. Yes. Harder, p-please. Please don’t stop.” She begged.

You smiled. An insatiable sort of power-hungry ego had grown at her words. You placed your finger at her entrance. Tracing up and down as you continued to suck on her clit. You let your tongue drip down, coating her folds, and preparing her.

Because in one swift motion, you drove two of your fingers inside her, hitting her outside walls, making her scream. “Let go for me, baby.” You mimicked Loki’s earlier words to you.

You curled your fingers inside her. Fucking her as she experienced her orgasm.

You lapped at her juices, listening to her pants and whimpers as she tries to calm herself down.

You continue kissing her body on her way up. As you finally reach her beautiful face, she grabs you from behind your head and pulls you in aggressively towards her awaiting mouth.

“That was amazing, pet! Is that how it feels every time?” Loki asked out of breath.

“Every time with you, yes!” You continue to leave kisses on her neck as you feel her hardening nipples through her dress.

“I believe this calls for a very lengthy experiment.” She giggled while you continued to mark her. “For the sake of science and knowledge, we should probably try all the things I know you like…Just to be sure.”

“Sure. For science?” you laughed.

“For science,” Loki said as his godly strength held you close and stood up from the couch.

After hours of researching and experimenting, you sat on the bed, languidly watching your lover admire herself in the mirror. I wonder what she’s thinking?

Loki changed once again in front of your eyes. She grew taller. Closer to her original height before she transitioned. Her creamy complexion was offset by a crown of dark waves flowing from her head. It bounced at the ends from the curls she decided to give herself. Her facial features changed to one that you recognized.

It was Loki – and yet, it wasn’t. It was the same pointed nose. The same heavy brows. Her cherry lips thinned into a wicked smile. Her eyes retained the same blue-green color that you loved so much. Everything was Loki, but somehow rounder. Softer. There was no trace of your features on her anymore.

Her body grew leaner and lithe. Her hands roamed her abdomen, up to her breasts, and around her shoulders.

“I think I like your boobs better.” She says making you laugh.

She looked into the mirror once again, admiring herself in her new body. The most beautiful smile adorned her face as she relished in her appearance.

Loki saw your eyes through the mirror and that same buoyant glee disappeared, making you frown.

“What’s the matter, baby?” you asked concerned. You walked up to her and wrapped your arms from behind her, turning her around so you could see firsthand the worry that was etched on her face.

“Will you…” Loki paused. “Will you still love me this way? If I choose to stay like this?” his voice cracked.

“Loki!” Your arms swallowed her in a tight hug. “I love you, not because of what you look like, but because of who you are as a person.”

“Truly?”

“With all my heart!” You said, pulling away from her embrace to look at their face. “You were the one who accepted me and all my faults. All of my attitude! You were the one who saw the real me. The one who cut through the bullshit front that I put up and reached in to get to the vulnerable girl that was inside me. I will never forget how you made me feel. How you made sure it was ok to let me know to love myself. All of myself. And I will be damned if I don’t get to do that for you too, my love.”

“Thank you, my darling girl. You have no idea how happy you made me today.”

All Taglist: @a-witch-with-words @athalialaufeyson @britishserpent @crimson25 @el-zef @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @goldencherriess @huntress-artemiss @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @immersed-in-mischief @kellatron55 @kkdvkyya @lokidbadguy @lokiprompts @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @lokisgoodgirl @lokisninerealms @lokischambermaid @loopsisloops @lucylaufeyson3 @luvlady-writes @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @muddyorbs @nopenottodayson @one-oblivious-nerd @ozymdias @peaches1958 @salempoe @theaudacitytowrite @user13cabs @vbecker10 @wheredafandomat @xorpsbane @vickie5446 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @ghoose86

[deathlylampshade]

The Concert | Dio Morrissey x f!reader

AN: not a lot to say about this one, aside from the fact that I’m actually really happy with how it turned out. I always love the “best friend’s younger sister” trope, and who better to do it with than our goth king himself. Thanks as always to @pascalpanic for hyping me up and listening to me rant about mosh pits. Enjoy!

Warnings: swearing, kissing, super mild punk show related violence, brief anxiety mention, Dio is a little cringey but you like it

“Kiddo, you’re not even gonna have fun,” your brother swears, “this band is harsh no doubt, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“As sweet as your over protection is, you’re not ditching me tonight,” you roll your eyes. Your brother is sitting on your bathroom counter watching you get ready for the concert he promised a month ago he’d take you to. You know his concern comes from a genuine place, you’d only gotten into the goth scene fairly recently, and long time fans can be really intense with “virgins.”

“Hey, uh, is Shane gonna be there?” you ask, casually as you can manage. You attempt to continue with your black eyeshadow to avoid eye contact with your brother, but he sees right through you anyways.

“First of all, you have to call him Dio while we’re in public. You are not killing the vibe on your induction night. Second of all, gross. I’m sitting right here. Drool over my best friend on your own time.” Your brother pokes your forehead with one of your makeup brushes in a scolding manor.

“Okay well first of all,” you start, “this is my time because this is my bathroom. And second of all… do YOU have any weird nickname I should be aware of before I, and I quote, kill the vibe?”

Your brother flushes slightly, looking at the ground before answering, “Uh, it’s Ghost, actually.”

You narrow your eyes at him, biting back a laugh at how ridiculous he looks, bright red ears contrasting the Doc Martens currently kicking against the floor.

“Dio and… Ghost?” He just nods, looking up at you finally.

“Well alright, my knights in dirty ass Tripp pants.” The comment earns you a laugh, and you feel a small swell of pride rise in your chest. For as insufferable as you found each other a lot of the time, your older brother really was like your best friend. His group of friends had stuck together since middle school, and had absolutely taken you under their wing when you’d let yourself really fall into your darker side. Tonight was your first real night out with everyone, and you couldn’t pretend to be more nervous. You had known your brother’s best friend Shane, Dio, since you were in third grade and had always found him fascinating. You can’t deny that he’s gorgeous, tall and lean, always wearing a leather trench coat that accentuates those features. Full, plush lips, and deep brown eyes that you want to get lost in. Just as you find yourself actually getting lost in the thought of Dio, you’re startled back to reality when your brother turns your hair dryer on and blows it in your face.

“Yo, kid, did I lose you? We gotta go,” in your trance he’s managed to get his hair done and a subtly cool amount of eyeliner. You can only hope not to look like a child, or god forbid a drone, next to him and his friends. “Don’t be nervous, just get your shoes on.”

When you get your boots laced up, you give yourself one last glance in the mirror, fluffing your hair to make it look less obviously styled, and run out the door.

When you arrive at the venue, if you could call it that, it looks more like a rundown warehouse, the music is already in full swing. “The openers always fuckin’ suck, kid,” your brother had told you, “we always show up at least an hour late.”

You’re rocking nervously on your heels, stuck to the ground where your brother had told you to wait while he found the group and brought them over to you. You smile widely when you see them approaching you, but are quick to cover it with what you hope is a cool smirk. Out of place doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel, it would be more accurate to say you’re on a different plane of existence. You’ve managed to transcend discomfort and now have settled into a calmer state.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Wednesday Addams herself,” a deep voice calls out from the head of the pack.

“Hey Sh- uh, Dio,” you stammer as the king himself puts his hands on your shoulders to inspect your outfit. Your stomach drops when he brushes some hair from your face. “You look good. Like you put some thought into how you look, unlike the rest of these drones.” Your face lights up at his praise, and flushes quickly when he winks at you.

Your group makes their way towards the front of the stage when you hear the headlining band announced. The first few songs go off without a hitch, the crowd moves in a seething, pulsing way to the music, and you find yourself moving along with them. You catch Dio’s eyes a couple times to find him already looking at you, his expression relaxed and amused, but his eyes dark as he takes in everything around him. You’re about to walk over and ask him to dance with you when you hear from the stage, “Alright everybody, let’s open this fucking pit!”

Your eyes widen briefly, but you try your best to stay cool in front of your brother and his friends. You can only imagine how lame Dio would find you if you lost your cool because of some moshing. Unfortunately, in your attempt to save face, you’ve distracted yourself to the people around you and find yourself getting shoved, almost to the ground. Your brother hurries over and helps you up, and you assure him you’re fine. It’s nothing you can’t handle. He keeps his grip on you a moment longer, and ruffles your hair before jumping into the circle pit himself. You do your best to keep dancing around, staying away from everyone jumping and shoving each other as much as you can, and for a few minutes you’re surprisingly successful.

The next song that plays is even more intense than the last, and you find yourself crowded against the stage trying to stay away from everything. Your heart rate quickens, and you can feel an anxiety attack trying to creep its way up your spine. You look around desperately, searching for your brother so you can beg him to take you home, when a hand on your shoulder startles you.

Warm brown eyes search your own, “Didn’t mean to scare you, darling, but do you want to get out of here?”

You nod up at Dio, and he takes your hand, guiding you in front of him towards a side door. One of his hands rests protectively against the small of your back, and you shudder at the warmth. You’re outside, the air is cool against the sweat on your skin, and yet Dio’s hand never leaves yours.

“D’you wanna sit?” He gestures to a bench resting against the side of the building.

“I-” your voice cracks, and you clear your throat to find some volume, “Sure, that sounds nice.”

The pair of you sit in silence for a moment while you catch your breath, you can feel Dio’s eyes boring into you, but can’t bear to look at him. “God, I’m so sorry, Shane,” you whisper, “Er, Dio, fuck, sorry again.”

“Don’t apologize, darling, it’s just you and me out here.” You finally dare to look up, and he’s smiling gently at you, holding both of your hands in one of his, and rubbing the other soothingly up your back. “I know the first time can be intense, to say the least. It’s a madhouse in there, and those fucking drones don’t know any better than to push everyone around. It should be a crime to scare or shove anyone as perfect as you.”

You huff out a strangled laugh at his words, and move your hands to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because you’re my best friend’s little sister,” he starts, and his grip on your back tightens when disappointment crosses your features, “and because you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. If someone as ethereal as you will even allow me in your presence, I have done something right.”

You turn your body towards him completely, searching his face. The strong, confident, devil may care Dio from inside is nothing compared to the patient, sweet, borderline insecure Shane you’re talking to out here. You reach your hand up to caress his face, smoothing down his dyed black curls, tracing your thumb against his full bottom lip. Shane melts into your touch, a content sigh leaving his lips at the contact, the heat of your skin against his feels more powerful than the sun at this moment. When you run your thumb nail against the sensitive skin behind his ear, his eyes snap open.

“Can I- would you… would you be mad if I kissed you?” He asks, his voice shy, but his eyes full of want.

‘I’ll be mad if you don’t,” you laugh incredulously. Shane places one hand against your jaw, and the other one slides up your back to rest in your hair. The cool metal of his rings feels electric, but nothing could compare to the jolt you feel when his lips meet yours. He’s soft, so much gentler than you imagined he’d be, and he takes his time losing himself in the feeling of your lips moving against his. He pulls away too soon, and you grab the front of his jacket to pull him back to you.

This kiss is not as gentle, but it is equally as sweet and intoxicating. His hand tightens on your scalp, and his tongue presses against the seam of your lips. You gasp, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue against yours. He tastes like clove cigarettes and Jaeger, and it’s fucking incredible. He’s more perfect than your wildest dreams of him, and the low moan he lets out when you scratch your nails up his back makes you reconsider everything you’ve ever thought about heaven.

Eventually you have to breathe, so you pull back just a bit and rest your forehead against his. “Wow,” you manage to get out. Shane laughs, the sound is more musical than anything you’ve heard tonight.

“Wow is correct, my darling, you are truly more ethereal than I could have fathomed.” He kisses you again, softly on the lips, and then places another on your cheek. “Do you think I could take you out for real sometime soon?”

You bite your lip to prevent a giddy smile from breaking across your face, and nod quickly. “I actually found this record store with its own coffee shop a couple towns over, we could check that out, maybe? I mean, I’ve liked you since freshman year, so anything you want to do would be perfect. You’re perfect, Dio.”

His ears flush an adorable pink, and he smiles almost shyly up at you. “Shane,” he says, “Call me Shane.”

You beam up at him, “Shane.”

He stands up, takes your hand, and leads you back into the concert venue. Walking arm in arm with the king, you feel like you could jump right in the middle of that mosh pit and come out on top. Shane guides you back to your friends, and you try not to get overwhelmed by the stares and whispers when people see you together. Your brother catches a glimpse of you, his eyes drop down to where your hand is connected with Shane’s, and you brace yourself for an obnoxious or over protective comment.

“It’s about goddamn time.”

[mrsmaddiebobaddie]

MCYT High School Teacher AU

I don’t know if this has already been done but with student teaching on the brain this was invading my subconscious.

Phil: Principal

The most chill admin you’d ever find (He kind of has to be with the staff at the school)

Will let most things slide if you ask nicely

Has a quiet space in his office for students to take a moment to calm down after acting out. He’ll offer them candy and talk through the situation with them. 

Started out as a counselor at the school, so he still holds a similar mentality when it come to talking with students and staff. 

Always takes the side of his staff. The district is usually in the wrong anyway.

He knows the teachers are the experts, screw whatever requirements the state has, he lets them run their classrooms whichever way is best for the students’ learning

Technoblade:  Literature & Composition

One of the most engaging teachers at the school

Most students love him because he’s real and he’ll tell it like it is. 

Has a coffee machine in his room. It’s rare that he’s not holding a mug in his hand while he teaches

Has high expectations for his students

Rarely gets angry. Even when he’s upset he still comes across as calm.

Usually stays at the school late making sure to give the best possible feedback on papers and reports. He genuinely wants each kid to learn something from his class.

Tommy: Speech and Debate

It’s only his second year of teaching

The students would run the classroom if not for Tommy basically being a student himself

There’s a strong chance his class will be off topic at any given point. It’s always an adventure walking past his door, you never know what you’ll hear

Somehow still gets high scores on average from his students

Keeps students after class when he notices them struggling with school or life in general to talk with them. The conversations are always beneficial.

Will 100% fall asleep during professional development meetings.

Karl: Biology

Tries to act hip, fails most of the time.

Always has the most energy in his lessons, finds unique ways to teach the concepts other than slides and worksheets.

Usually the first one in the building each morning

Will give students different options for final projects so they can chose the best method of showing their evidence of learning. 

Gets lower scores than he should on observations because he doesn’t do well under the pressure. One year Phil didn’t announce when he’d be coming in and watched from the door to give a more accurate review. 

Wears a sweatshirt to class more often than he should

Quackity: Spanish 

Hands on learning whenever possible

Uses the home ec. room to make authentic Mexican dishes with his students when they cover the food and restaurant unit

Will just forget that the kids don’t speak Spanish fluently and ramble on until someone interrupts him.

Slow grader, you get your scores when you get them.

Known to be a bit chaotic with his teaching style, it works for some kids but he does need to reteach certain sections every now and then

One time a kid feel asleep in his class so he had all the other students leave and they had class outside to freak the kid out (They were right outside the classroom window, he could still see the sleeper, he told Phil)

Skeppy: Algebra

Like’s his job, pretty much your average teacher

Can’t stand freshmen, but tolerates them since that’s half the students he has. He prefers teaching advanced algebra to upper classmen

His lessons are always formatted the same, starting with a lesson on how to do that days math, with the remainder of the period being free work time

Holds math challenges with his class and gives out prizes. It’s usually candy, though one time he gave out cash. He made his kids promise not to say a word about it. 

Very good at teaching the same math concepts in different ways to help struggling learners

Always one minute away from being late for first period, but makes it just in time every morning.

Dream: Health/Football and Assistant Basketball Coach

Took the teaching job mainly to coach sports

Still cares about making connections with his students, he uses his class to teach life skills and promote positive social and mental health.

If any of his players are in his class he will pick on them. He has no mercy.

Dreads sex education because no one can be mature about it. He gets revenge by making the students film a “how to say no to sex” video with someone in the class.

His wheeze laugh is iconic. You can hear it from down the hall.

If you meet with him and are honest when you’re struggling, he’ll work with you to pass his class. He isn’t going to ruin your GPA over a project on the negative effects of smoking.

Wilbur: History & Geography/Theater 

The teacher who sits on his desk when he lectures

Is very sarcastic with his students, but knows who can take the teasing and makes sure not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Prefers class discussion over solo work time, he likes hearing student’s perspectives and ideas.

Turtlenecks

One of the teachers most likely to be the crush of teenage girls. 

Not afraid to mark you down for sloppy work. You use a black ink pen and draw precise lines when turning in maps and graphs or you redo it.

Speaks in musical references 

George: Physics

The chillest teacher by far

Due dates? Don’t worry, he’ll accept an assignment literally months after it was supposed to be turned in

Makes difficult topics seems simple when he describes them

He doesn’t really care if you have your phone out in class as long as you’re paying attention and learning the material

The students straight up call him George, he doesn’t seem to care

Placing near the top for the most crushed on teacher

King of multiple choice questions

Eret: Economics & Government

Makes any student in his class feel welcome

One of few teachers who can lecture the entire period without students falling asleep. He always has interesting stories

Let’s kids chose where they sit

Freshmen are always caught off guard by his voice when they hear him for the first time

Spends too much of his own money on supplies for his students and classroom (Honestly most teachers have to spend their own money on necessary supplies, he just goes about and beyond.)

There’s always a group of students who eat lunch in his classroom 

The Union Rep at their school, will fight tooth and nail for the staff members

Tubbo: Band Director

Super cheerful whenever he’s teaching

He rarely has any free time before or after school because he has so many one-on-one lessons and meetings with students

Likes to have practice outside when the weather is nice

Does his best to make his students feel comfortable and relaxed whenever he does performance based assessments. 

He’s also a new teacher, but you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell

He will be in tik toks if you ask him to, and he’s familiar with all the pop culture trends

Let’s the students chose a song to play at the last band concert. Some years have been less chaotic than others, the worst (or best, depending on who you ask) being when the students voted to play Deja Vu from Initial D.

Fundy: Computer Science/Coding 

Begins each class with a cheesy computer joke. Every class.

Everyone knows you can’t get anything past him technology wise. He can see that headphone in your ear from across the room.

Isn’t afraid to assign extra work when students are disrupting class

Once took up an entire class period showing his students how he coded different difficulties in Minecraft. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he plays the game in his spare time. 

About half the students in his class aren’t really interested in computers, they just want to have him as a teacher since everyone says he’s cool.

Known to hack school computers to bypass restrictions

Sucker for pizza parties. Has at least one per semester  

Sapnap: PE/Basketball Coach

Hella competitive 

Abuses his power of having a whistle. Someone should really take it away from him

Gyms shorts every day. Even in the winter. Sometimes he wears sweats, but never jeans.

Doesn’t let anyone sit out of activities

Tries to set up fun tournaments for each activity they do, makes sure to balance the teams so no one has too much of an upper hand.

He’s usually the teacher who mans detention, he tries to make it as positive as it can be though.

Keeps extra sets of gym clothes to give to students who forgot or can’t afford to buy them

Schlatt: Calculus and Stats/Business  

You either love him or are terrified of him

One of the only teachers who can have an “aggressive” teaching style and still connect with students

You will learn something from his class, he makes sure of it. 

Doesn’t accept late work unless you have a really good reason why you couldn’t turn it in

Wears a tie every day

If another teacher needs a last minute sub during his prep period he’ll cover them. Doesn’t matter what subject, he can wing it

He was the reason the school started offering business studies as an elective due to some vague threats towards the district

Niki: Art/German

Teaching voice is so soft

You can’t tell whether or not she’s giving you constructive criticism because everything she says sounds so positive 

Let’s her students lead learning for the most part, she will cover topics that most interest them while still trying to hit the district required standards (luckily teaching electives gives her a bit more freedom with her curriculum)

Her classroom always smells lovely

Will bring in homemade goodies each Friday for the staff room

Holds art galleries at the end of each semester to show off the arts since they often go unappreciated. It has turned out to be a super popular event for students and staff.

Bad: Special Education

This man has endless patience. It’s crazy

Even after the longest days when none of the students are cooperating, he still has a smile on his face

If he hears cursing in the halls he will call you out in front of everyone. Teachers included. 

Makes sure to keep a list of all his students favorites so he can surprise them with gifts on their birthdays or around holidays

He works closely with the other teachers to make sure his kids can be as involved in general education as possible.

Always wears something fun, be it a tie, socks, shirt, or even a full outfit. His students love seeing what new wacky garment he’ll be wearing that day. 

More Head Cannons

If someone brings food for the staff room Tommy WILL take it. Sometimes he’ll come back for seconds, there will be none left by the end of the day. He’s not as bad as Skeppy though, who will literally pack it up to take home for later.

For the past few months the staff members have been receiving anonymous email chains with photoshopped pictures of each other. Everyone was sure Fundy was behind it, Eret thought he saw him teaching his students how to use the program by editing their favorite teachers into stupid situations (they’ve all been school appropriate of course). Fundy did in fact start it, but now so many other teachers have joined in that it can’t be traced back to one person anymore.

All the teachers love going to sporting events. They’ll join in with the student section to cheer on the teams. If they know there’s a kid who doesn’t have family that will come to watch them they’ll make shirts with that players number to show support for them.

Wilbur, Niki, and Tubbo work together on musicals. Niki does the sets and costuming, Wilbur directs, and Tubbo leads the pit. There are plenty of long nights during tech week that devolve into chaos (especially when Niki isn’t there)

Spirit week is very intense, to say the least. The teachers are assigned a grade to be advisors to, and they get into it. For the duration of the week they practically become rivals with whoever isn’t in their assigned grade. They’ll pull pranks on each other constantly, especially when the students can see. It’s all playful of course, but it gets the kids more excited about spirit week when they can support their teachers and watch the amicable rivalries carry out.

Technoblade once joked that he knew every detail about every classic novel. His students took this as a challenge, and tried to find the most obscure and specific trivia questions they could ask him. He has yet to be stumped.

Dream and Sapnap had a running streak of about four weeks where they made everything into a competition. Who could enter their grades into the computer fastest? How many cups of coffee did they drink that day? Who got to school first that morning? There was a tally board in the staff room and the teachers had a betting pool going. Phil finally ended it when they accidently broke the school’s copier trying to see who could scan the most documents in five minutes. Dream was ahead by three points, Sapnap never lived it down.

In service days are incredibly boring, so the staff tries to make those days a bit more entertaining. They order in pizza or sandwiches for lunch. Since there aren’t any kids in the school they’ll do everything they’re no supposed to, like racing office chairs down the hallways and blasting non-school-appropriate music in their classrooms.

Wilbur accidentally started a black market of sorts when he took all the new whiteboard pens from the supply closest. He used this to his advantage, getting people to do him favors in return for the good supplies. When Dream found out he not-so-jokingly threatened to slowly steal everything from Wilbur’s classroom until he released the pens. The next day the closet was replenished once more

Quackity and Tommy are co-emcees for the school assemblies. They hold class competitions between the grades, including spirit chants and ridiculous games. Think minute to win it style, but way crazier. Everyone gets super into it, the upperclassmen usually win. The two have good chemistry and a fun energy.

George has a unit where students make bottle rockets and launch them outside on the soccer field. And every year Karl brings his class out to watch claiming that “it’s science, I teach science, I’ll have them write a paragraph about what they learned”. Really he just wants to watch rockets go brrr

For Schlatt’s birthday one year, Wilbur and Techno printed off shirts with his face on it for all the staff to wear. Schlatt was super confused when he came into work and all his colleagues were walking around with his face plastered across their chest. He got back at Wilbur for it by putting salt in his coffee for a week straight, but Techno never got his comeuppance. It’s debatable whether Schlatt just didn’t know he was in on it, or if he knew better than to mess with Techno.

Lesson planning and curriculum building is quite the process. Some departments can stay on task better than others. Schlatt and Skeppy get in, plan out the term, and get out. The math department has everything on lock. Social studies are also pretty good at getting pre-planning done. They tend to spend most of their time having discussions that aren’t necessarily related to the tasks at hand though. The English department is a mess. It’s really Tommy who’s a mess, he just projects that onto everyone else. Karl and George work well together to map out science curriculum. Even though teachers who teach electives aren’t required to collaborate with each other, they still get together and bounce ideas off each other and get feedback.

I have plenty more if people want a second part. I also only listed the MCYTs that I’ve watched enough to know their personalities at least a little bit, but if you wanted to see another person I may expand the staff list!

[deanky]

Here are some little like ‘reviews’ of all the Oingo Boingo albums... Under cut LOL... I just like to talk about Oingo Boingo I am so obsessed right now they have become tied for Mr. Bungle as favorite band... But anyways... Hope you enjoy ^_^

Only a Lad: Very fun sound as a whole. I enjoy how like poppy and synthy it is and stuff and that one weird electronic voice Mr. Elf man does in like every song. I remember like actually not liking most of the songs first time I heard it and I’m not sure why because I enjoy 9/10 out of them a lot now... But then again I like almost never really like an album the first time I hear it LOL I have a mean soul. A lot of the songs have pretty evil words in them but I have like slight respect for how much hatred Danny Elfman seems to have had for everyone on the entire planet at the time of writing. And for the majority of songs I cannot really complain about because I think it fits theme of like very happy sounding song but nasty words in it duality of man and such. Only one I really do not like is Capitalism because it has the whiniest lyrics of all and also it just does not sound good like as a song I think I am sorry. I must say it. Forgive me. I was so thrilled hearing Nasty Habits for the first time because I really like songs that sound like a homosexual cartoon villain would sing them to you. Well that’s all. Only a Lad itself was one of the first songs of theirs I heard except sped up and it had a picture of anime Bart Simpson on it. I like it. Good song. Recently I cannot stop getting it and Little Girls stuck in my head. That’s all

Nothing to Fear: Everything about this album is sooooo sooo good it is like so incredibly catered specifically to my tastes. One of the few albums I have loved immediately as soon as I heard I finished listening for the first time and was immediately like oh this is going in my favorites. I add some points also for absolutely incredible beautiful cover art it’s got weird colors weird animals logo made of worm things it’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.  I think it gets SLIGHTLY weaker in its second half but that is hard not to do with albums. That said though a lot of songs that I felt were slightly worse at first have risen to being my favorites of the album like Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai. Didn’t know what to think about Running on a Treadmill at first but I think it works very well in its simplicity and it is very catchy I can imagine people like singing it on actual treadmill and like jumping around abd being in zero gravity for some reason it is like that music video where they are in the plane but it is treadmills. Well, hi. The only ones that feel like slightly slightly worse to me are Whole Day Off and Islands but I think I am growing to like both of those a lot more too. My favorites though are Grey Matter and Insects and Wild Sex and also Nothing to Fear the titular song and Why’d We Come and Reptiles and Samurai which is over half of the songs so I think that’s good.  I remember listening to Private Life like 5 times before listening to the rest of the album but I always forgot how it went immediately after not sure why because I’d say it is a reasonably catchy song. Anyways INCREDIBLE album. Rude lyrics? Still a thing but tend to be much more agreeable like it is obvious who is being made fun of in like Grey Matter and Nothing to Fear and I say the fun making is well deserved! Even though I may be the target of Grey Matter I understand and I am sorry. The general sound is also amazing I LOVE all the weird noises and metal stuff and clanks and clonks and all the xylophone. Dude the xylophone is so good. Synth and xylophone and guitar they are all best friends and they sound so cool together and I think xylophones should be more widely used in like “pop” music as a whole whatever that defines. I keep wanting to start a band and just play xylophone. Like what’s anybody gonna do to stop me? I love xylophone. That’s all

Good for Your Soul: I wasn’t so impressed by this one the first time I heard it but it quickly wormed its way up to a very close #2 and possibly even tied with Nothing to Fear as my favorite album of theirs. The album art on this one is also really good I will say! I felt like slightly let down at first by it just because it’s so hard to live up to how beautiful of a cover Nothing to Fear has in my mind. But its art is so cool too. Muscle man in wobbly world. What’s more to love (Side note I enjoy the song Wobbly World it is not an Oingo Boingo song it is by Devo I should listen to more Devo.) The first time I listened the only songs that REALLY jumped out at me super hard were No Spill Blood and Fill the Void, and I think those 2 are still tied as my favorites. I LOVE the whole like rhythm No Spill Blood has going on and the weird animal noises and also the lyrics they are not about Animal Farm they are about The Island of Dr. Moreau he did those surgeries don’t you know he made the animals have to be men and they were like are we not men but they didn’t say they were Devo sorry I keep talking about Devo in this Oingo Boingo album review. And BTW Fill the Void also is really great and has possibly my favorite set of lyrics in any song ever to exist which is the part like “Every little thing is a piece of a larger thing / Every little fish is a tyrant of the sea / Every little atom is a master of his family / Every single piece calls my name / What do they want from me?” It is so good it makes me go so insane I love it. Another song that works really well in just being a simple thing.  It is so nice and cool it feels like being in space and you are in one of the levels of one of those Kirby spinoff games where he’s like a ball and you’re rolling him around NOT Canvas Curse the other ones like Dream Course I think. Anyways though while I wasn’t super big on all the other songs they ended up like slowly coming back into my head one by one until I was obsessed with all of them. First it was Pictures of You. Then it was Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me (would put that in my top 3 as well) and then Dead or Alive and then Little Guns and then Cry of the Vatos and then Wake Up It’s 1984 and then Sweat and then the titular song AND Who Do You Want to Be it was like. Wow. What a world.  WDYWTB + Good for Your Soul + Sweat were the 3 that didn’t really do it for me as much for a while but now I’ve been really enjoying them too so I think I can say I love every single song on this album. It is becoming my best friend. It’s sooo good. It feels like living in one of those fake Utopian cities and there’s actually something sinister going on behind the scenes. Like I will start seeing colors and freaking about it any time soon. Random memory that unlocked in me is that I used to be incredibly obsessed with The Book Thief and its concept of death when I was in like 6th or 7th grade like uncannily so but I never talked about the book ever I just hid it away in my mind. My sad story. Sorry everyone. That’s all

So-Lo: This one is technically just Danny Elfman but you know it is an Oingo Boingo album man they got the whole band there they were just having licensing issues because new label and stuff is my understanding. And they were like. Well let’s take advantage of this and do some less standard Oingo Boingo songs. That is how I grasp this situation I don’t know how correct I am her I actually don’t know that much about O.B. outside of the songs at this point I still cannot name any non-Danny Elfman member and I am really sorry for this and must learn to atone for my ways. This is a good album though. Once again has really good cover art I will say.  It’s like well hello there Mr. Elf man you’ve got some eyes sliding off your face and some funny colors and are controlling some little puppet things maybe it’s like you do you man LOL am I right or am I right! I like this album. This was yet another one where I listened the first time and was like. Man I’m not really feeling it with any of these songs. However I do enjoy that they all sound kind of like they were recorded on a Sega Genesis. I mean it does have very Genesis-y noises I know this was the 80s and it would be more accurate to say the Sega Genesis soudns like this album but you know what I mean. Anyways nothing grabbed me at first but upon my second listen I became extremely obsessed with the song “Go Away” and then listened to it on repeat for 2 hours straight and it still hasn’t got old for me I still like it very good song. Definitely my favorite. Tied with Everybody Needs which is also a very fun song I became similarly enamored with like a day later but didn’t listen to quite as much LOL. But anyways I went through that oh-so-familiar process which I must warn you is also the process I go through for every single album after this! - Where all the other songs started worming their way into my head and I was like oh brother I am beginnign to like them all now! Good for Your Soul, I think, marked like more obvious change from songs tending to be like “This is what Danny Elfman thinks of the world phrased in a humorous way” to more like actual stories and stuff, although the former wasn’t rid of entirely and the latter hadn’t just popped up or anything. But I think this album continued that in a really nice way and while it can be vague, listening to it I always feel that there is like one solid story all the song narratives go throughout. Someone pointed out in like Youtube Comments that Go Away feels like the sadder side of Cool City and to me it feels like the whole album is kind of in that vein. Seems to me like all the songs are in the Cool City itself and you’re seeing like the various different horrible things that go on in that town and horrible people that live in it. Yknow? Like Tough as Nails and Everybody Needs make me think of like various awful weird a$$ holbs living there and then stuff like Sucker for Mystery and Lightning and It Only Makes Me Laugh. Well they are clearly from the perspectives of some guy. The same guy? Maybe maybe not I don’t feel like they are the same guy. But it feels like they are like experiencing weird horrible sh*t in this horrible town that is filled with racists but also gay people. I like this album I enjoy it

Dead Man’s Party: OK I am sorry to say. This is a good album but it hasn’t COMPLETELY grown on me yet. But I DO like it a lot. I enjoy it it’s good. I really really love Just Another Day and the titular song and Heard Somebody Cry and Nobody Lives Forever and Weird Science which is over half of them so not bad all things considered. And I do not DISLIKE any songs. But the other ones haven’t quite grown on me yet. This album does kind of shift into like the more commercial stuff it’s not like generic pop or nothing. But it is like slightly strange to get used to. That said. The songs I like I REALLY like thye are so good. No One Lives Forever is an incredible incredible song just like Nasty Habits it fulfills my love of songs that sound like they are being sung by evil guys in cartoons but are not they’re actually being sung by Danny Elfman who is an evil guy in real life. Sorry I didn’t mean it he probably is not that evil I’m sure he’s perfectly nice Mr. Elf man if you are reading this I apologize. Anyways though. I like the general sound of this album I will say! I think though it has thing going on where like, in my mind, some of the songs feel like way too happy and overly peppy almost like mocking. I have a weird mind and a weird way of processing things and I am also incredibly afraid of everything on this planet so keep that in mind BTW I am sorry. But like Stay and Fool’s Paradise and Help Me and Same Man I was Before all have that kind of feeling to me, it’s like these are so cheerful and cheesy sounding to me it kind of scares me a little bit. However... I am starting to feel this less with Help me and Stay, and also I felt this a little bit with Heard Somebody Cry at first as well and I no longer do. So maybe I’m still going through the motions of song-liking as I do.  As I said though the favorites on here are incredible. Weird Science may have been written for strange movie deal and they may be really saddened by its memory or maybe just the music video’s memory but it’s a very fun song nevertheless. Dead Man’s Party itself it really fun true classic. Very orange song to me. It’s orange and purple like I hear it and I am like ah yes I am experiencing orange and purple. Very nice shades of orange and purple though, and they are mixing together in pleasing ways and throwing a big party and everyone’s invited you might even say it’s a dead man’s party heh heh heh (grins devilishly). I think this like takes the kind of narratives in Good for Your Soul and So-Lo and like takes it to best form! In that it has a very clear yet not super specific narrative going on throughout the whole album, I really like whenever an album has songs set up so pleasingly and nice like that it makes me sad when they’re just like in random order. But of course this album is all about death and accepting it and stuff and like all the different feelings of sadness and happiness and stuff that all go into it! And I like its message a lot, like obviously you shouldn’t want to die but don’t fear it. It has a very nice depiction of the afterlife. I like all the stuff in Beetlejuice and Corpse Bride with their similar interpretations too although Beetlejuice isn’t quite as positive about it LOL. I want to watch Corpse Bride again. I want to see another singing Danny Elfman skeleton. I want to see the Peter Lorre worm. My one complaint with the album narrative is that Weird Science goes at the end it kinda ruins the whole story a little bit but I can’t fault them because like where COULD they put it?  I think it might work kind of well as the first song because like trying to make frankenstein guy before all the accepting death stuff makes sense. But also. It would be a weird opener. Also the album art is so incredible I love it I want to join their party it’s beautiful. I did not mean for this review to get as long as it did. They just keep getting longer each album I’m sorry the length does not show my opinion but I just keep getting more excited each album

Boi-Ngo: Will admit this one is my least favorite. And once again my bias shows because it has cover art I don’t like very much. It’s just real guys looking at you. Where’s the funny Oingo Boingo touch where’s the charm people!??!? it makes me sad. And also, as a whole, while I DO like most of the songs I feel like I don’t like them as much as I like any of the ones on other albums, and it also has my least favorite song I’ve heard other than Capitalism which is We Close Our Eyes sorry I’ve seen a lot of people who really like that one but it just scares me. It feels so insincere to me it makes me feel that thing once more where it’s like this song is waaayyy to happy and peppy to not feel like it’s kind of sinister deep down. I apologize. It is a fun album however! I think it kind of goes back more to “Danny Elfman’s humorous observations about life”, which is not always a bad thing, but it seems to revert a little bit too much back to like him just being kind of whiny and not making much of a point in like, say, New Generation. Although it is a nice song I think! It scares me when he goes like now he’s got you by the balls. I understand the point of that lyric. But it frightens me.  I think my favorites are Home Again, Elevator Man, Not My Slave (although lyrics feel like slightly concerning), Outrageous, and Pain. Which once again is more than half the album so shows what I know complaining about it this whole time. 

Dark at the End of the Tunnel: I feel bad for this album because before listening to it I always forgot it existed, like I listened to Boi-Ngo and was like aw man I only have one album left! Oh wait nevermind I have 2. And now I keep fearing there’s another one I forgot not including like the live albums and singles stuff. Maybe there is.... haunting me But anyways... I already did like incomprehensible post talking about this one earlier LOL which inspired me to do more equally incomprehensible things on all the other albums hence this post. So I’ve already said a lot of what I have to say about this and hope not to repeat it too much... but... LOL I was so afraid wondering if I would actually like this one or not... I wanted to just because of how awesome the cover art is. And I was afraid because I wasn’t really a big fan of most of the songs at first. But I think with this album and the whole Boingo era they were moving towards like more orchestral stuff and changing their sound and all... So it was a bit strange to get used to at first but the more I listened the more I enjoyed everything I guess like taking in all the instruments and textures and what not. A lot of the songs in this one also feel like kind of creepily cheery but I think it works best for this album specifically, because as I’ve said before it feels very intentional - there is like whole dual thing of more dark mysterious sections and light-hearted happy sections in most of the songs. Although my top 3 are all songs that mostly just have the former going on... Right to Know, Long Breakdown, and Run Away.  I also really enjoy When the Lights Go Out, Skin, Out of Control (though it still feels like vaguely scary to me LOL), and Glory Be... But I keep finding myself getting all the others stuck in my head as well. So still growing on me LOL! I am beginning to appreciate all the other songs more for those cheerier parts as well yknow... I think this whole album has a very fantastical vibe to it LOL but definitely like, a very old fantasy. Like they discovered this album in a giant wizard’s tower like ten thousand years ago and now it’s been unearthed again. But it was created by a child wizard who was like 5 years old. But still had a wizard beard. That’s the guy on the cover I’ve decided. Little wizard from long ago.  However... It does feel like it’s kind of setting up something. Like all the songs do... whole album is good but feels like it’s kind of a preparation for the next one. Which doesn’t make it bad! Just like I feel like it’s kind of part of a set... Incomplete on its own yknow? I would probably rank it in my lower 4 of all the albums but I’ll still say I enjoyed it quite a bit, that is no insult. And I like wizards

Boingo: This album is SO good dude. I’m glad this is what they left off on. Really great finishing album... I have a weird timeline involving this one because it was actually the first album I listened to, my dad showed it to me, but I only ever listened up to Lost Like This before very recently and by recently I mean today and I am still listening to Changes for the first time as I write this which is probably a bad idea but I am doing it anyways. Anyways though... The first O.B. songs my dad showed to me ever were Insanity from this album and Dead Man’s Party the song, and despite how different their two sources are they both have extremely similar structure I think. And so I kind of painted this picture of like all Oingo Boingo songs being similarly structured around 6-7 minutes and mostly repeating the same different sections in slightly different ways. And I am pleased that this album kind of fulfills that - a lot of the songs are like 2-3x longer than they really need to be but I enjoy that because I love long songs.  As I mentioned earlier, DatEotT feels like it’s just the beginning of something, and this provides a very satisfying ‘second half’. I think it works well by itself too, though! Boingo marks such a big change musically from everything else before even DatEoT but it somehow stays very true to their old spirit anyways.. But everything feels so much grander and I really like it. Almost every song has a pretty wistful melancholy feel but at the same time ALSO almost every song but like a different set of almost every song is very big and bombastic. So it definitely has that “well this is our last album goodbye” feel to it. But it’s OK. It’s like a big grand finale. If there was a like an Oingo Boingo musical that had every single song for some reason and lasted like 10 hours I feel like the other albums could be switched around the whole thing regardless of their actual releases, but this one would HAVE to be last. Adding to that, I feel like it really like takes a lot of the earlier concepts I’ve liked a lot in previous albums and had them return. Like So-Lo, many of the songs have pretty different narratives, but all feel like they can be one loose intertwined thing. Pedestrian Wolves and Lost Like This definitely feel connected for one... and like Insanity and Changes provide like nice bookends where the first is like analyzing the world around us and then the second is analyzing the self. Side note. Danny Elfman is always referring to himself as stupid in Oingo Boingo songs. And sometimes it’s just like PoV character or something. But it ticks me off a little bit because he is like clearly not stupid he is like a crazy evil genius.  But ALSO I’m not really sure what exactly the whole story of Boingo is, but it just feels connected in some sort of mysterious way yknow? Maybe it will appear to me later... If Dark at the End of the Tunnel was created by a little five year old wizard ten thousand years ago, this was created by the same wizard when he was reaching the end of his life and was in the wizard’s nursing home in like the 1920s. It still feels like mildly aged, there is SOMETHING about it that feels like it’s meant to be played on like an extremely old awful record player, but it has a much more modern feeling. It almost feels like another interpretation of the afterlife... Maybe that more Beetlejuice kind where it’s just like real life at first but if you peek around the corner you’ll find all the weird sandworms and colorful ghosts and stuff. Anyways though. This album is so good. Not my favorite right now, but definitely in top 3, like at the moment of writing this I would say. #1 is Nothing to Fear. #2 is Good for Your Soul. #3 is Boingo. But I am loving it soooo much on my first actual full listen even though I’ve had time to like absorb half the songs already admittedly. So it might end up being my favorite after all! I think my 3 favorite tracks also on this are Insanity, Lost Like This, and Hey!. Random completely unrelated parallel to my other favorite band. I like that they have a song called Hey! and Mr. Bungle has a song called Hi! It all fits together. And they both have the exclamation point. But anyways ALSO since I’ve only finished listening for the first time Changes finished while I was writing this BTW. I am still figuring out my opinions on the rest of the songs. Don’t think the I am the Walrus cover QUITE does it for me, I like Spider and War Again but not sure if they’re favorites. I hated Can’t See/Useless the first time I listened but now I like it how about that! ONE MORE thing I like about this. Is its songs feel like continuations of stuff in other albums. Although that may just be because of similar themes! Like, War Again feels like a continuation of both Nothing to Fear and Little Guns but it’s about similar subjects to both. And Tender Lumplings, Little Girls, no real explanation needed there. Insanity and Nasty Habits match up pretty well, with both just being like about hating the world although Nasty Habits is more specific than that LOL. Mary is a girl who is unfairly ostracized, Johnny of Only a Lad is a boy who is unfairly praised, you know.  And also one more thing ONE more I know this one ALSO kinda has the classic Danny Elfman yells about things stuff going on but I feel like this is the album where it works best. But maybe I am just a hypocrite. OK that’s all. Hi

[peterpumpkinparker]

Could you do a part two to the Halloween Costume thing you wrote I just read it and it’s so good!!

I’ve gotten somd requests to finish the Halloween story- which I am seriosuly so surprised by because I really thought that story SUCKED- but thank you guys for enjoying it! It gave me a lot of excitement to actually finish it, so I hope you like it!!

~•~

A Very Nerdy Halloween (Part 2)- Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 3026

Warnings:

Genre: the softest fluff around ☁️

AU: Halloween, mentions of Star Wars, the TINIEST mentions of Hamilton

~•~

(Part One)

Your feet pounded the pavement as you ran desperately to try and reach the coffee shop you were supposed to be at 30 minutes ago. The sun was just setting over the city, the fiery, golden hues turning the buildings into warm shades of brown and red.

Being out in the open in this costume, it was really strange. People were looking at you left and right, either giving you a smile or a look of confusion. Some college kid even yelled from his truck, “Padme!” as you crossed the street- it was really nerve wracking to get all that unwanted attention, and you couldn’t help but feel self conscious. All you wanted to do at that point was get to your supportive friends and have fun.

Peter was fidgeting in his seat, his toy lightsaber on the seat next to him, holding your chair from anyone sitting in it.

He had actually gone through a lot trying to make sure his costume was as accurate as possible. He scoured the internet for costume pieces, making some pieces himself- he even put a clip in braid like Anakin did in the movie in his hair. He didn’t know why he was nervous- he just knew how excited you were to do these costumes, and he didn’t want to let you down. Peter had liked you for a super long time, ever since you slept over at Neds house with him to help build his new Millenium Falcon set he got. He didn’t think you liked him back, but he still wanted to make you happy.

Peter looked back at his phone for the thousandth time it seemed for a text from you, but to no avail.

“Do you think she’s still coming?” Ned asked, his mask perched on his head as he sipped at his coffee, his black robes covering all of his body. MJ was slumped in her chair, her boots pecking out of her pink dress as she rested her feet on a chair, her curly hair pinned back slightly.

“She’s still coming Ned,” MJ answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

Peter sneaked a look at his phone again.

“You know, your phone gives off radiation when you use it, which can give you brain cancer,”MJ stayed, a small smirk on her face.

Peter jumped, not expecting her to say anything.

“Who said I was on my phone?” Peter smiled nonchalantly, trying to play off that he got caught.

“No one,” MJ replied seriously, raising her chin slightly, “I just said something interesting about phones.” She gave a smirk, knowing she had gotten Peter when his cheeks turned red. She looked over at the door, nudging Ned to look.

“Told ya.”

A breath of relief released from your lips as you saw the coffee shop. You walked through the door, a soft chime going throughout the store.

Ned was the first one you saw, a black robe wrapped around his shoulders. He waved frantically at you, you giving him a small smile as you walked over.

“Hey guys I’m sorry I’m late!” You smiled apologetically, looking at the group.

Peter turned around, and was in complete shock. You looked nothing short of amazing. You looked as if you were wearing the costume from the movie. Your makeup and hair was perfect, and he was just hoping his costume looked as good as yours. It was a completely different experience to see you in a costume- and you looked really good to him. The costume hugged your curves, and he didn’t want to stare- but at the same time, he did. He was seeing you in a new light, a new perspective, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

Ned nudged Peter, snapping him out of his daze. He shook his head slightly, and realizing he was staring, began to blush deeply. He instantly moved the lightsaber on your seat, wishing he didn’t bring it- now he felt like a child with it sitting next to you.

You slide down onto the chair, just happy to be with the group. You didn’t see any disappoint on Peters face when you walked in, so you were a little happy that he didn’t think anything bad of you and your costume.

“You brought your lightsaber?” You smiled, pointing at the toy.

Peter nodded feverishly, still flustered.

“Yeah-Yeah,” he repeated, “I just thought- um- it’d be cool, to have it….” he drawled out, not knowing what to say, so he grabbed his coffee and began to chug it.

“Your costume looks great y/n,” Ned complimented, “it looks almost like the movie!”

You sighed in relief.

“Ahh thank god!” You exclaimed, “I was scared it would look weird to you guys- but you guys look awesome too! Especially you MJ.”

“I’m actually hating this Angelica costume,” MJ revealed, “dresses are definitely not my thing.”

You grinned, “I’d figure.”

You and MJ were very close, and you knew her really well- you figured she wouldn’t care for the dress.

“But hey, look on the bright side,” you laughed, “if a random dude decides to act rude, you can cuss him out while rapping!”

“Is that really a thing she does?” Ned asked, slight confusion on his face.

“ not really, more just the rap part. But its still cool,” you answered.

Peter turned to you, his empty coffee cup in his hand. “Did you I want anything, Y/n?” He asked.

“Oh no it’s okay I can get myself something, I brought my- !” You searched your body for your wallet, remembering-you didn’t have pockets.

You sighed in exasperation, shaking your head.

“No wallet?” He asked, a slight grin on his face.

“Nada.”

“It’s okay I’ll get something for you.”

You smirked at Peter, sizing him up. You didn’t want him to get you something- but you knew he wouldn’t let you, even if you said No.

You sighed, giving him a defeated smile. “I owe you one Parker.”

He smiled, his grin contagious. “What do you want?”

“Surprise me,” you winked at him, making Peter’s face turn red.

Ned and MJ gave a knowing smirk to each other, making you confused.

“What?” You laughed, perplexed.

Ned shook his head, laughing, as MJ pretended to inspect her finger nails.

“It’s nothing.” She smiled, the lie very obvious.

“You guys are hiding something,” you interrogated, “what is it?”

Ned shook his head, afraid MJ or you would say something that would lead to his friend’s secrets to come out.

He had stayed up countless nights for the last few months, reading Peter’s lovesick texts about how much he liked you and how much he wished he could tell you his feelings. He had dat through countless conversations between him and Peter where Peter planned elaborate plans to ask you out to the movies, the park, the new ice cream place you wanted to eat at-but never came to fruition because of how nervous he was to ask. Ned has told him countless times to just do it, the worst you could say was no, but Peter was always too worried he’d ruin the friendship between him and you if he asked you out. Ned already let MJ in the loop by accident a few weeks ago, and she had been making his life so frustrating around you because she liked to drop hints. He knew his friend would one day tell you-on his own time. He didn’t want to intervene with Peter.

“It’s-it’s nothing y/n,”Ned shook his head vigorously, “you don’t have to worry about it.”

You raised an eyebrow, not believing Ned.

“Are you sure?” You asked, “Because you guys are acting super weird the past few weeks- is it about Peter or something?”

“No no no!” Ned frantically said as MJ silently chuckled. “It’s nothing! Nothing-it’s just uh-“

Right as Ned was searching for a little white lie to tell you, Peter walked up to the table, holding out a coffee. You gave one last look, one that said “I’m going to figure it out.”

“Thanks Pete,” you smiled, taking a sip, “You’re costume is cool by the way.”

“Ah thanks y/n, but really,” Peter stuttered, “yours is way better.”

You scoffed.

“No way! I got this off of-Amazon!” You laughed, “you even got the Jedi braid, the lightsaber-hey Ned, you gotta lightsaber?”

“As a matter of fact,” Ned fumbled in his cloak, “I do!”

He proudly pulled out a saber, making the whole group laugh, happy to have a distraction from the heavy topic before Peter came.

You smiled, taking a sip of coffee, “let’s go get some gear for the night at Delmars, how about it?”

The sun was just setting now, the sky more blue than fiery red. Families were just emerging from their houses, the kids all dressed up in assortment of scary monsters, princesses, and of course, superheroes.

You all ran over to Delmars, acting completely free and goofy-you guys were excited for the night ahead. Of course, you couldn’t buy anything without your wallet, but being the gentleman Peter was, he bought you some candy even though you told him not to.

You all began to walk around the neighborhood, snacking on sweets and watching the trick-or-treaters. You were loving the atmosphere of this Halloween-it was spooky but almost in a kiddish way. It really wasn’t that scary, but nostalgic. The air was chilly, the moon was bright and shining, the sound of people laughing and screaming from delighted fright could be heard from every corner, pumpkin spice and sweets filled the air. You were with your friends, your crush, you were all bonding and having fun, and you never wanted to leave.

But before you knew it, the candy was all eaten, the families were beginning to slowly disappear back to their homes, and everyone was tired from the night.

“You guys wanna start heading back?” Ned ask, his mask in his hand

You sighed, wishing the night wouldn’t end.

“I guess…”

You all began to walk back, joking around and talking about the best costumes you saw. You first dropped off Ned, then began to walk to MJs house, saying bye once she got to her doorstep. You noticed her give Peter a smirk, his eyes avoiding contact as she closed the door.

You definitely knew something was up, but didn’t know what-and you were determined to figure it out. You hated having secrets kept from you, especially when they were blatantly obvious that it was about something revolving around you..

You both began to walk in silence, the street having a few more families than the last one. You and Peter were feeling nervous, being by yourselves. You still liked Peter a lot, and it worried you that your friends and Peter were acting strange. A pit in your stomach grew, scared that maybe Peter found out you liked him, or maybe he liked someone else.

Peter was feeling really awkward, knowing how close he was to you, and how alone you two were. He knew he needed to tell you something soon about how felt, but it almost felt he couldn’t do it. Ned has told him countless times to tell you, MJ was giving him mental signs to just do it-but he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to ruin the friendship he had with you if you didn’t feel the same. While both of you were thinking in silence, a little kid ran up completely dressed in a Trooper costume. Their head bobbed, the huge helmet making them look like a bobble head toy.

“Are you Anakin and Padme?” They asked loudly, making you both come back to your senses abruptly.

You smiled, blinking a few times from breaking out of your senses so quickly. “Actually we are! And you are…”

“Their Boba Fett,” Peter stated, grinning at the kid.

“I’m Jango!” The kid yelled accusingly, making sure he got it right.

“Right,right, sorry!” Peter chuckled.

A woman ran up, panting as she reached her child.

“Sammy! You can’t run away like that!” She scolded.

“But Mommy it’s Anakin and Padme!”

The mom turned to you and Peter, smiling apologetically.

“I’m sorry if she bothered you in any way, it’s just she really loves Star Wars, so seeing you two made her very happy. Not many girls her age are into what she likes, so seeing someone your age dressed up as characters she loves got her super excited.”

The little girl took off her mask, giving you both a toothy smile, her braid messy from the helmet.

You smiled warmly at the little girl, bending down to her level.

“You costume is awesome- I think you might be the coolest little girl I’ve ever met!”

“Is it alright if I get a picture with you two and her?” The mom asked, pulling out her phone.

“Of course!” You grinned. You both got a picture with the little girl, all of you posing in ridiculous poses ready for a movie poster.

“Got it!” The mom smiled, looking down at her phone. She looked at Peter and you, grinning.

“You guys are an adorable couple.”

Peter’s and your face instantly turned red, you both chucking from embarrassment.

“Um, were actually not-“ you tried to say.

“Of course you are!” The little girl interrupted, “your Anakin and Padme!”

You had no idea how to respond to the unexpected turn of events, so to your relief, Peter recovered first.

“Well, we can’t say anything, because the Jedi Order says I can’t be with Padme. So…I’m not.”

Peter winked at the little girl, and she giggled.

“Okay!” She giggled. “Your not boyfriend and girlfriend.” She put bunny ears around “not” with her hands, Peter letting her think you two were to not dampen her spirits.

Before she put her helmet back on, she gave you a hug, melting your heart. Peter held out his hand for a high five, and she gave him a hard slap on his hand, grabbing her Mom’s hand and heading

down the street.

You both looked at each other, the redness on your faces still there.

“Well,that-“ you breathed out, “was interesting.”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

“Yeah, it kinda was.”

“Thanks for that save.”

“Yeah, of course…”

Each of you wanted the same thing-wanted to be a “thing”,, but didn’t want to say the truth to each other. You were both terrified of the answer.You both stood there in awkward silence, not knowing what to do.

“We should probably start walking,” you said abruptly, laughing nervously.

“Uh, uh yeah! Sure,” Peter smiled, his hands fidgeting.

Each step to your house was cautious and full of nervousness. After that comment, there was an electricity between the two of you you both felt. As if you body’s were drawn to each other, yet you both were holding back.

You were making small talk, talking about anything you could think of to bring some normalcy back. It was a normal conversation and nothing out of the norm for you and Peter, but it felt different somehow. Your mind was racing, wondering if Peter felt the same way and why he was acting so strange. His mannerisms, his nervous ticks, in your mind either meant he was totally into you or he was so desperate to get away from you he wasn’t functioning right.

Peter was feeling like a nervous wreck, not wanting to act like such a dork around you. He was hyper aware of his body, each movement he was making, praying he didn’t do things that would make you uncomfortable or notice how nervous he was around you. You were talking as if nothing happened, and your confidence was making him even more nervous because it reminded him why he liked you so much. You were headstrong, funny, you weren’t afraid to be yourself, kind, and beautiful in his eyes. Being around someone that made him the best version of himself was exhilarating and made him feel alive, even if he turned into a nervous love sick puppy around them.

Your hands would accidentally brush on each other, and your heart would race, and Peter’s body would feel as if shocked with electricity. But you still kept up the conversation, even though both of you wanted nothing more for your skin to touch again.

You finally got back to your house, you giggling at a funny story Peter was telling you.

You smiled sadly, not wanting to go. The breeze was softly filtering through your hair, bringing butterflies in your stomach as you looked into Peter’s chocolate brown eye.

“This was…fun,” you smiled, looking down from nervousness.

“Yeah, it was,” Peter swallowed, terrified by what he was going to ask you.

He had been thinking of it all through the walk back to your house. If he didn’t ask, someone was going to, and it would eat him up inside if he’d never knew the answer. He wanted to be with you, and only you, and it ate up his body inside not knowing if you felt the same way.

“I was wondering if maybe…you wanted to do this again? Without-MJ…or Ned?”

You looked up abruptly, happy confusion on your face. Peter Parker…was asking you out?

“Like on a date?” You asked, a smile forming on your lips.

“Yeah!” Peter chuckled nervously,”you don’t have to if you don’t want to-I was only asking because I-I really like you-for a really long time-and I just wanted to-“

You stopped Peter, giving him a big hug.

“Of course Parker, why wouldn’t I?” You exclaimed, all the fears and doubts in your head dissipating, only leaving you with a feeling of ecstasy.

You gave Peter on a kiss on his cheek, a cheesy grin on your face.

“I guess Anakin and Padme are actually gonna be dating,huh?” You joked, smiling at Peter’s happily shocked face, a faint imprint of lipstick on his check.

“I-I guess so,” he smiled lazily, relieved that everything was working out in the best way possible.

~•~

Taggings:

@acciopeter @petersshirts @just4muggles @acciopeter @anxieteandbiscuits @fratboievans @flying-roomba @grandmascottlang @hollandroos @hollandsosterfield @honeymoonparker @naturallytom @starksparker @underoosstark @uglypastels��@galaxy-parker @gayuwuenergy @revengingbarnes @underoos-shield @revengingbarnes

~•~

Requests open!

I hope you are having an amazing day (or night) and I’ll see you all later! ❤️❤️

~•~

[a-splash-of-stucky]

A Messed Up Place | One

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: How it all started out

Warnings: Bucky’s self-hatred is through the roof, suggestions of masturbation

Notes: For @hellomissmabel’s writing challenge, using the prompt Lacanian Love. Didn’t really do my final checks on this one properly, so lmk if you spot any errors. 

AMUP Masterlist

Love has a lot of cliches.

In fact, ‘a lot’ might even be an understatement. ‘A lot’ is a gross underestimate of the number of cheesy one-liners, overused phrases and endless passages made up of empty promises and meaningless words that couples in love throw around haphazardly. The thing is, there has to be some element of truth behind them. These cliches must have come about for a reason, no?

Bucky Barnes thinks that that reason might be you. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but whatever the hell you are to him — well, it’s pretty goddamn close, that’s for sure.

The two of you are sat in the compound’s shared kitchen, about to have dinner together. Well, perhaps more accurately, you’re sat on one of the barstools by the kitchen island, whilst Bucky is stood by the stove, manning the stir-fry. You’d offered to help, but after almost slicing off the tip of your finger (you’d think a trained super-spy would have better knife-wielding skills, right?), Bucky had given you a stern glare and shooed you away. He’d chuckled at your pouting and now watches you from the corner of his eye as he stirs the vegetables about.

“Still sore?” Bucky asks, noticing the way you’re absentmindedly massaging your calf.

“Yeah, a little,” you sigh, “Nat went a little overboard with the leg training today, I think,”.

“Or maybe you’re just a wuss,” Bucky teases, snorting when you narrow your eyes indignantly at him.

“Excuse me, Barnes,” you retort, “I’d like to see you try keeping up with Nat’s leg routine. She’s gotten it straight from the devil, I swear,”.

Bucky laughs, shaking his head as he turns his attention back to the wok, adding in a handful of beansprouts. The fragrant smell of coconut oil and garlic permeates the air, making his stomach growl impatiently. “Nah, I’d rather not,” he drawls, “Steve’s hard enough to keep up with, thanks,”.

“Oh, don’t remind me,” you groan, face contorting into a grimace at the memory. “I trained with him once and that was more than enough for me, thank you very much!” you giggle. Bucky’s heart does a little excited flutter at the sound. He can’t help but admire the way your eyes crinkle at the corners, the way you throw your head back slightly, baring your neck in a most—

Barnes, he reprimands himself, subtly shaking his head to rid himself of those kinds of thoughts.

They’ve been springing up on him more frequently, as of late, creeping up on him from out of nowhere. ‘Distracting’ is one way of describing them, but they’re more than that, he knows. Those thoughts are but the smallest symptom of a problem so enormous, Bucky has no desire to even think about it anymore than he has to.

He sighs internally as he switches off the stove and crouches down, opening one of the cabinets to retrieve a couple of bowls. With his back turned to you momentarily, Bucky allows himself a second to collect his thoughts, whilst also mentally berating himself for losing control of the situation like this.

Emotions were the big no-no of your agreement.

————————————

Bucky is sitting in one of the smaller meeting rooms in the compound, reading over the mission briefing pack he’d been given a couple of hours ago, in preparation for his and Natasha’s trip to Austria. He looks up when the door creaks open. You poke your head around the edge, flash him a wry smile and sidle in.

“Hey…” you murmur, sliding into a seat on the other side of the oval table. Bucky’s eyes flicker warily over your expression, trying to figure out what it is you want from him. The two of you haven’t made much contact with each other ever since he moved into the compound a few months ago, and he’s struggling to figure out why you could possibly be wanting to talk to him, of all people, all of a sudden.

“Hey,” Bucky replies, voice clipped and curt.

The smile you give him seems a little forced around the edges, as if you’re trying to mask your discomfort. It’s the kind of smile that immediately sets Bucky on edge. Already, he can feel the cogs whirring in his mind, trying to figure out what it is he’s done to upset you. Was it the fact that he ate the last slice of chocolate cake last night? Damn it, he knew you’d been eyeing it up, he should’ve saved it—

“I—have something to talk to you…about…” you say slowly, keeping your eyes trained on your fingers. You must be nervous, given the way you’re picking anxiously at your nail polish.

“It’s…not…easy to say—like, there’s no delicate way to put it,” you continue, eyes briefly darting up to catch his gaze, before just as quickly shifting their focus away again. You’re driving him insane with this beating around the bush business. Bucky can feel his brain kicking into overdrive, reading too much into the situation, just as coils of fear tighten in his gut, like a nest of snakes slithering around in a sickening manner.

You clear your throat nervously, straighten up and flash him another smile as if to say, fuck it. “I heard you. Last night. And…all the nights before that, actually,”.

“Huh?” Bucky grunts, brows pulling together in confusion. You heard him? Last night? Doing what? Bucky went to bed late last night, so he made sure to be pretty quiet except for—

“Oh my god,” he groans, slumping forward and resting both elbows on the table as he covers his face with his hands. Bucky can heel the hot flush of shame creeping across his cheeks and down his neck. He hasn’t felt this embarrassed in a long while. The last time…was probably back in Brooklyn, when Steve unexpectedly came home early and walked in on Bucky with a girl he’d brought home, what was her name again? Daisy? Dorothy? Something along those lines.

Even so. The rush of embarrassment he felt then is almost nothing compared to the utter mortification he feels now.

“I am so, so sorry you had to hear that,” Bucky croaks, “I—I’ll promise to be quieter, next time, I—,”

“Bucky,” you interject smoothly. Your tone is neither reprimanding nor upset — it’s actually a little bit amused, strangely enough. Tentatively, Bucky lowers his hands, peeking over his fingers to study your expression. From the way you’re biting the inside of your cheek, he can tell that you’re desperately trying to hold in your laughter.

“You’re…not mad?” Bucky asks slowly.

“No, I’m not,” you reply, shaking your head, “It’s natural, Bucky—I…we all do it,”.

Bucky throws his hands over his ears like a little five-year-old, because he most certainly does not want to be having this conversation right now, least of all with you. “Look, forget about it, ‘kay?” he manages to grit out, “I’ll…fuck, let’s not talk about this, alright? I don’t need you…concerning yourself with my sex life,”.

You snort. “More like, ‘lack thereof’,”

“Oh my god!” Bucky groans, narrowly resisting the urge to bang his head on the table repeatedly, until he passes out. “Alright, you know what? I’m leaving—,”

“No! Wait, Bucky, sit down—,”

“Y/N, I said drop—,”

“Please, would you at least listen to what I—,”

“No I won’t, because I don’t—,”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you growl, narrowing your eyes threateningly and crossing your arms over your chest, pinning him to his seat with the intensity of your gaze. “Would you listen to me?”

Bucky swallows nervously and, despite the fact that every muscle in his body is screaming at him to do otherwise, nods his head in ascent and forces himself to slump back into his chair. He makes sure to keep his gaze downcast, focused on the hem of his hoodie. This conversation is embarrassing enough without having to look you in the eye as the two of you have it.

“Look, we all have desires, okay?” you begin, your voice taking on a more placating tone.  “We’re all human, and we all have bodily…urges, that can’t always be controlled. And I’m just saying…instead of having to stew in a soup of sexual frustration, why not…find other outlets?”

“Other outlets?” Bucky echoes, voice dubious. “Are you—what’re you saying?”

“Why don’t you…y’know…” Bucky looks up as your voice trails off. Your hands are gesturing wildly as you search for the right words. “Like, find someone? A girl—or a guy, if that’s your thing,” you add hastily.

“A girl?” Bucky repeats dumbly, “I don’t follow,”.

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose as your eyes screw shut. “I’m saying…why don’t you go out there and find someone to bring home. I’m sure you still know how to woo a woman, Barnes,” you tease, smiling impishly at him.

As lighthearted as your tone may be, all Bucky can focus on is the heavy bitterness settling in his chest. “You think a girl’d want me, Y/N?” he says harshly, his words laced with venom.

Something in his tone makes your head snap up, alarm flaring in your eyes. “Bucky, I didn’t—,”

“Because why would anyone ever want me, Y/N?” Bucky snarls, voice dripping with self-hatred. “I’m fucked up, is what I am. And ‘sides, even if I could’a gotten a girl — which is a fat chance, by the way, ’cause look at me,” Bucky says, gesturing towards his metal arm, “I wouldn’t trust myself ‘round her. I’m too strong. I could hurt her,”.

“Bucky,” you murmur, and something in your voice — something tender and sympathetic and gentle — makes his heart twist like someone’s jamming a knife between his ribs. Bucky Barnes knows that he doesn’t deserve gentle, knows that he is unworthy of your kindness. All he’s ever been in his life is cruel and unforgiving, why should he expect himself to be treated any differently?

“Hey, Bucky, hear me out, okay?” you say softly, getting out of your seat and coming around the table to stand beside him. Your hands hover momentarily, as if you’re about to touch him, but then you seem to think better of that idea, letting your hands drop to your sides. He’s thankful for that. Bucky doesn’t think he would’ve been able to handle your touch — not because he doesn’t want your hands on his body, no, but because he knows your touch would have been soft where all he’s known is rough, brusque and clinical.

Bucky doesn’t know how to handle soft.

“I know you think you don’t deserve this,” you say gently, “But you do. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve been through…Bucky you do,”. Bucky goes to open his mouth but you plough on, “Look, I know you might not believe me, might not believe any one of us, no matter how many times we say it…but the thought is there, ‘kay? You deserve to be loved, Bucky,”.

Bucky feels like his heart has been through a hyper-accelerated spin-and-rinse cycle in a washing machine in the space of the last five minutes. First the whole shock of discovering that you’d overhead him doing unspeakable acts in the bedroom, and now this? Are you trying to give him a heart attack or something? He’s a senior citizen, for goodness sake, you should know better.

Yeah, don’t let Wilson hear you saying that, Barnes, he thinks ruefully.

Bucky sighs heavily. “Okay. I’m listening to you,” he says quietly.

A moment of silence passes. From the corner of his eye, Bucky can see you opening and closing your mouth several times, as if you’re figuring out the best way to phrase your next words.

“Look, okay, here’s the thing,” you say, keeping your gaze trained on your feet, “The world has changed a lot since you were around. And…sometimes…people, a pair of consenting adults, that is…well, I guess you could say that they have an arrangement. A…no-strings-attached arrangement,”.

With every word that comes out of your mouth, Bucky feels himself getting progressively more confused. “Ohhh…kay?” he says slowly.

“Basically, what I’m suggesting is that we have sex, without getting into a relationship,” you say, the words coming out in a sudden gush, stumbling over themselves in their hurry to leave your mouth. “Like I said, it’s a thing, nowadays. We’d be friends who fuck each other, completely casual,”.

If it were physically possible for jaws to hit the ground, Bucky is certain that his would be trailing on the floor behind him. The notion is so completely foreign to him, that he has no idea where to even begin asking questions. People do that now? Bucky already knew that attitudes towards sex had changed since the 30s, but he hadn’t expected them to have changed this drastically.

Admittedly, the idea does have it’s appeal. You are, after all, a beautiful woman. If there’s one thing Bucky Barnes hasn’t forgotten how to do, it is to appreciate a beautiful woman when he sees one, and you are definitely one of the most stunning people he’s ever set eyes on. And not just on a material level, either. Bucky knows beyond a shadow of doubt that your beauty is something a part of every cell in your body, inside and out.

But as much as he wants you, a part of him feels guilty — and not just because he knows that he doesn’t want to taint your glory with his darkness.

“I can’t just—use you like that, Y/N!” Bucky protests, “I—that’s so wrong!”

“You’re not using me,” you explain patiently, “If I want this — want you — and am completely okay with doing things with you…well, then, what’s wrong with that? It’s consensual, right?”

Bucky’s heart stops. “You want me?” he echoes quietly, not daring to meet your eyes. Why would anyone want him? Bucky knows that he’s messed up — a patchy, busted-up excuse of a human being. He finds it impossible to comprehend what someone as perfect as you could ever see in him.

“Yes, Bucky,” you reply, in a tone that makes it seem as if the fact were completely obvious. “I do want you. You’re a good man, Buck. We’d be helping each other out by doing this,”.

Bucky is torn. His heart wants to say yes, but the rational, logical side of himself knows that saying yes would be a terrible idea. You just don’t get it — you don’t realise how dangerous Bucky is. His arm was created as and still is, a highly precise weapon, perfectly capable of hurting you if Bucky lost control of himself in the moment. “But…why? I—I could hurt you,” Bucky says weakly, his rational mind trying valiantly to dissuade you, even as a larger part of him yearns to say yes.

You shrug nonchalantly. “I’ll heal. I’ll heal within seconds, remember? Accelerated healing, and all that good stuff. You might hurt me, but I can guarantee you, I’ve been hurt worse,”.

Bucky groans internally. It seems you’ve been spending too much time with Steve, lately, and his stubbornness and disregard for personal safety seems to have rubbed off on you. “Y/N!” Bucky cries in frustration, “Just because you have super-human healing abilities, or whatever—that doesn’t mean that you should be throwing yourself into dangerous situations!”

“But it’s not danger!” you protest, voice rising in response to Bucky’s tone, “It’s only you, Bucky, I trust you—,”

“You shouldn’t,” Bucky growls, even though it pains him to admit it, how evil he really is. He hastes that he can’t trust himself enough to be around you, but the risk is not worth it. Bucky would never hurt you. He would never be able to live with himself if he did.

Your jaw snaps shut. “Fine,” you huff, “If you don’t want me, I can’t force you,”

And right there is where you’re wrong.

Because Bucky does want you, wants you in every way imaginable. Your face is the one he sees when he closes his eyes, your name is the one on his lips as he strokes his hand over his cock. He’d never admit these desires to you, though. You’d probably think he was a freak, or something.

“But before you make a decision,” you continue, stepping into his space and letting your hand rest on his shoulder, “Before you tell me what your answer is, I want you to think about it, okay? I’m not gonna break, Bucky. I can handle this. I want this, if you’ll let me have it,”.

Those three letters balance precariously on the tip of his tongue. From the way you’re looking at him, from the unrelenting fire behind your eyes and the defiant set of your jaw, Bucky knows that you know this too. But, instead of giving in like he wants to, all Bucky does is nod curtly and force his mouth to say, “I’ll think about it,” in a tight voice.

————————————

A week later, Bucky finally caved in.

With the power of hindsight on his side, he can look back on those seven days between you propositioning him and him finally giving into his desires with a sort of bemused fondness. Why did he ever believe that his will was strong enough to withstand your alluring pull? How could he resist someone so pure and beautiful and radiant in every way possible? It’s an infeasible task; Bucky never stood a chance against someone like you. You’d had him hooked from the day he first met you, and you’re practically all he’s ever thought about since then.

Over the last seven or so months, the two of you have developed an interesting relationship. The colloquial term, as Bucky’s come to learn, is ‘friends-with-benefits’. You and Bucky will fuck every week or so, depending on stress levels and libido, plus the general state of things at the time. The rest of the team has thus far remained unaware of the little arrangement Bucky has going on with you. That’s not necessarily because he thinks they’ll disapprove, it’s more to do with the fact that he doesn’t need the rest of the team prying on his — fairly active — sex life. The gang has a reputation for being rather nosy when it comes to that sort of stuff.

In between your mind-blowing fuck sessions, Bucky will hang out with you and do the things that any normal pair of friends would.

Except.

Lately, the feelings he’s been harbouring towards you are definitely something beyond the level of ‘just a friend’. He cares for you in a way he thinks a lover would care for their partner. The thing is, as part of your agreement, feelings were supposed to be out of the equation entirely. This was supposed to be a strictly platonic relationship, with a helping of sex on the side.

To be fair, Bucky had gone into the aforementioned agreement with more than a little crush on you, so he knew that he was laying down in his grave before it’d even been fully dug. He was doomed from day one, but what a sweet, sweet torture it has been. He never meant for things to get where they are now. Congratulations Barnes, he thinks dryly, you just went and screwed things up, like you always do. Why couldn’t you keep your stupid little heart in check?

But what really hurts — the thought that keeps him awake at night — is that Bucky knows in his heart of hearts that you could never feel the same way, despite how much he wants you to do just that. He wants you to want him. Oh, how desperately he craves to hear those words spill from your sinfully soft lips. But why would you settle for someone like him? A monster, an abomination, an incomplete creation? He wants you to want him, even though he knows that such a future is never possible.

It’s a depressing truth, really.

You are the perfection to his destruction, the angel to his demon. The two of you are polar opposites and there is no way Bucky could ever hope to be with you the way he wants to be with you.

“Hey, Bucky?” you call, drawing him out of his thoughts, “You’ve been staring at those plates for a while now, you okay there?”

“Um, yeah,” he says hastily, shaking his head to re-centre his mind. “Just…are plates or bowls better, do ya think?”

“Meh, I’d go with bowls,” you reply.

Bucky nods, takes a deep breath to steady himself, then retrieves two bowls from the back of the cabinet, setting them on the kitchen counter so that he can serve up the stir-fry.

Your chatter has picked up again, and Bucky lets your soothing, melodious voice float through his head as he chews over his situation. This needs to end, somehow, Bucky knows that. If he can’t keep his runaway emotions in check, then the best thing for him to do — the healthiest thing for him to do — would be to cut you out of his life completely. Rip the band-aid off and embrace the pain.

Not tonight, though, he decides, because damn it, Bucky can never show any self-restraint when it comes to you. He wants to be selfish, needs to be selfish, just one more time.

[lohst-in-time]

exit82 be more chill - a written bootleg

ACT ONE

first of all i’d like to say that the cheering was not nearly as excessive as tumblr led me to believe it wasn’t that bad and i could hear all the lines so!!! comfort to y’all

*spooky theramin hell dream commence*

JERE HAD THE VOICE OF A GOD, A VERY NERDY SMALL GINGER GOD

okay but the dad though we have to admire his skill to put on his pants so quickly to go and be a bus driver

the whole time brooke chloe and jenna are having their conversation jere is just awkwardly trying to discreetly slide his hand to his locker and honestly me

also brooke just like skips everywhere it’s adorable

everyone was just glancing around at each other while rich wrote boyf on the backpack like 👀👀👀👀👀

this jake definitely did a totally different thing for his jake than jake boyd but i LOVED it and he was really great!!!

the set for this was so versatile and stuff like they turned around the lockers and BAM there’s the play signup sheet it was cool as hell

jeremy does this cute cut-off gesture on “end scene” and it’s A+

C H R I S T I N E

oh my god where do i start with christine her overalls were great, her cat stockings were great, her voice was AMAZING like honestly y’all she was a blessing

SO LIKE i was sitting right by this exit door and turns out it’s where a L O T of people enter from so michael walked in all casually with his slushy right in front of me and i was n o t p r e p a r e d

michael was acting so high during his part it was great

MICHAEL MAKES KISSY FACES AT JERE FOR THE BOYF RIENDS PART AND I MEAN IT WAS PLAYED FOR LAUGHS BUT STILL

also when jere says his whole “i hate this school” thing michael just kinda smiles and shrugs so that was NICE

i can confirm that christine signing up for the play in this production is just as extra as it was in the original production

chloe’s “i like gay people” was like really loud it was great

can yall believe im still only in the first song

also the ensemble peeps were A++ i loved them

for the scene before play rehearsal there’s a whiteboard with drama club written on it in cute lettering and it’s great

CHRISTINE IS GOD

the whole song jeremy is just watching christine with a goofy grin like heck yeah i love this human and it’s adorable i loved it so much!!

christine’s NOISES!!!!!! A++++++

at the end with the “we’re starting” christine just kept pausing at staring at the whiteboard expectantly until she turns to jere and is like “soooooon” and it was both pure and hilarious

MR REYES HAD LIKE A MULLET/PONYTAIL COMBINATION WIG THING AND IT WAS AMAZING

when mr reyes says the thing about frisbee golf this ensemble guy just goes like “yeah!!” it was great

christine looked so genuinely distraught over midsummer nightmare with zombies

also when mr reyes announces it he flips the whiteboard to reveal midsummer nightmare with zombies written in like this beautiful calligraphy it was blessed

he’s so aggressive with “THE MAN IS DEAD LET IT GO” oh my god

so in this version jake is way more just obviously hitting on christine rather than genuinely saying all the stuff about romeo and juliet and i don’t know how i feel about it but he delivered it really well so !!!!!!

the audience audibly sadly awwed when christine didn’t notice jeremy speaking

RICHARD FUCKIN GORANSKI OH MY GODNESS

the lisp is alive and well by the way

fRESHMAN YEEAR

basically the squip song was very extra i loved it

everyone was so excited at the “its from japan”

RICH JUST WIPES HIS PISS HANDS ON JEREMYS FACE AND SHIRT WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD

DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO

michael just deadass lights a blunt during two player game it’s hilarious

the pacman tattoo is confirmed to be on michael’s right arm i took note

MICHAEL DABBED TWICE

on the line “i wanna move on” jeremy just sorta whinily shakes michael’s arm it’s great

during the favorite person part michael just lowkey rests his head on jere’s shoulder and is promptly playfully shoved so that he falls facefirst into the two bean bags and he just sorta lays there for a bit it’s amazing

for the final chorus part thing they both just do these ridiculous karate moves and shit in the front while video game characters take off the set it’s so extra and blessed i loved it

tHERES TWO SALESPEOPLE

instead of the sideburns comment jeremy just awkwardly says “so, my chemical romance right” it was the best

when jeremy opens the shoebox michael in the background just lowkey moves his phone up in the air and takes a picture then looks really satisfied and pleased with it

press f to pay respects to jeremy’s bar mitzvah money

the squip looks just like this cool villainy dude at first but over the course of the show he slowly gets more and more squippy and villainy looking it’s so FUCKIN COOL

also when the squip first shows up little drop down things on the ceiling of the squip wire shit shows up and there’s also more big ones that show up in upgrade it’s just a cool lil thing that i liked

the squip squat-sits a lot. just a psa

AT THE “SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME” PART JEREMY STRAIGHT UP FLIPS THESE CLOTHES IN THE AIR AND FLAILS AROUND ON THE GROUND WHAT THE FUCK JEREMIAH

do you wanna ride was both uncomfortable and hilarious at the same time it was p amazing

there were these short pauses in between each “in” in pinkberry at the end it was super funny

at the end of be more chill part two when everyone sets jeremy down on the bed the squip says like “be careful with him he’s delicate”

jere: *aggressively tapping his head* hellooo are you on? mr heere: son are you talking to yourself again jere: i...guess i am mr heere: okay

from now on jeremy wears his eminem shirt AND this black coat vest thing it actually looks pretty good

at play rehearsal everyone does southern accents during their lines it’s amazing

“cough.”

JEREMY AND CHRISTINE SLOW DANCE DURING GUY I’D KINDA BE INTO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

“im sorry i don’t know why im crying” BIG MOOD JEREMIAH

“noooooooo....ot exactly”

jere is forced to make out with brooke and he clearly looks very uncomfortable and i felt so bad jvnghfkd

“that...that’s illegal” “yeah, it’s totally illegal!” SHFGJSCKISFTDYIDV

everyone highkey gasped/sadly awwed when jere said optic nerve blocking on

ACT TWO

brooke’s sexy dog costume jvndhdksj

RICH DEADASS HAS A FUCKIN BAGUETTE MACHETE I DIED

I AM IM READY FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTY

“i do not understand the request” YES YOU FUCKIN DO SHUT UP TIC TAC MAN

*bathtub prop is brought onstage* FUCK IM NOT EMOTIONALLY READY-

NOT ONLY DOES JEREMY CALL HIM A LOSER BUT HE SHOVES HIM INTO THE BATHTUB TOO OH MY GOD NO

the audience reaction was INSANE people were ooing and awwing and gasping all around me and it was surreal as fuck

THIS BOY MIKEY WAS L I T E R A L L Y CHOKING BACK THE TEARS HE SOUNDED SO UPSET I CANT DESCRIBE IT ACCURATELY BUT HE SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS ACTUALLY SOBBING IT HURT ME

by the way this dude has the voice of an angel. of a god. a god angel. an angel god.

christine and jeremy’s weird noise exchange was the cutest damn thing ever

everyone in the audience sounded so sad when christine said no to going out with jeremy but i mean WE WERE SAD EVEN THOUGH MOST OF US KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

SMARTPHONE HOUR WAS HYPE AS SHIT OKAY ALSO THE DRAG REPRESENTATION WAS LIVING

they all start out in bathrobes and stuff (LIKE I ALWAYS PICTURED IT TOO I WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING!!!) then they take them off to reveal these like shiny elastic outfits like in a zumba class or something it was amazing

BROOKE DROPPING HER PHONE THEN SCREECHING AND DIVING AFTER IT IS M Y NEW AESTHETIC

okay but when the squip walks out for the scene before pitiful children he looks like a straight up evil electronic BADASS he got Cloaks For Days (also his makeup was On Point the whole show so just sayin)

everyone in the audience made sad noises when jenna said her line about knowing everyone’s business but honestly i felt a Sad at that part

JENNA NAILED THOSE HIGH NOTES also she just deadass pulled the Mountain Dew out of her coat jvnghfk

LIGHT UP SHOES DURING PITIFUL CHILDREN THIS IS NOT A DRILL EVERYONE

THE PANTS SONG WAS AMAZING also michael was super defensive when mr heere asked if he loved jeremy like he super quickly was like “NO” i just thought it was intriguing

JERES COSTUME ON MR REYES WAS SO SMALL HIS SHIRT WAS LITERALLY A CROP TOP

during the rich flashback the play background curtain thing comes down a bit to show the flashback and then comes back up it was cool

“MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE” “AAAAAAAAAAAAA”

THE KUNG FU FIGHT THING also michael still keeps jeremy in this body hug thing to keep him restrained long after he needs to be just something i noticed

during the “confession” part christine and jeremy slow dance again BUT i paid attention to michael in the background and he looked DISTRAUGHT i deadass actually saw him wipe a tear and start walking away (before coming back when jere gives her the mountain dew red) and HOLY SHIT YALL I WAS HURT

michael is just left in this pile of bodies and he literally just shouts “OH FUCK” and honestly SAME

R I C H A R D oh my god first of all this whole scene he is like just smiling his ass off in this full body cast and the lisp was super alive and everyone lost their SHIT at the totally bi part it was so great and when michael comes in he’s like so excitedly ranting about what happened that he fuckin shakes jere’s hospital bed it was great ALSO IM ALMOST POSITIVE THAT RICH WAS WEARING AN LGBT SHIRT FOR VOICES IN MY HEAD CAN SOMEONE HELP CONFIRM THIS

i have never heard so many people gasp because of a man walking onstage wearing pants

BROOKE AND CHLOE SWITCHED SHIRTS THIS IS NOT A DRILL

i was really glad that everyone including michael were so happy for jeremy and christine it was pure

im emotionally worn out that was a ride thanks for listening hope yall will be able to visually see this beauty someday

[junker-town]

The NBA whiffed on Davis Bertans

There’s no one quite like Bertans, the Wizards’ 6’10 shooting star.

You don’t need to actually watch the television to know when Washington Wizards sharpshooter Davis Bertans is uncorking a three-point shot. All you need to do is listen. They just sound different.

They sound understandably gleeful on Wizards broadcasts, usually with play-by-play man Justin Kucher’s voice rapidly rising as the ball leaves Bertans’ arms. There is childlike wonder that projects from the screen. I can still hear analyst Drew Gooden bellowing “Cash it!” before Bertans nailed a transition trey in Detroit, then both announcers giggling with big ‘I told you so’ energy.

On opposing broadcasts, Bertans’ shots run the gauntlet of emotions. There’s disbelief that he’s really taking that shot (along with its spiritual cousin: mocking when he misses). There’s frustration that, goddammit, how did our team leave him open again? There’s a tint of jealousy combined with backhanded compliments — Damn, he isn’t shy. (This one’s popular with recent former players). There’s hopelessness that comes from getting hit with a Bertans dagger. And above all, there’s lots of appreciation. Begrudging appreciation, stunned appreciation, vividly descriptive appreciation, and sometimes all of the above.

No two Davis Bertans three-point calls sound exactly the same, but they all convey a sense of shock at the audacity of a player who never averaged 22 minutes per game suddenly taking and making so many difficult long three-point shots. They make Bertans sound like an unnatural basketball species that burst onto the scene doing stuff nobody else does. It’s as if he’s the NBA’s Baby Yoda, and everyone who sees him are the many Mandalorian characters that look dumfounded when meeting our beloved 50-year-old force sensitive child for the first time.

On some level, shock and awe is understandable. Bertans really is an experience. What the hell is this?

At the same time, he’s not exactly a new experience, or even a totally unfamiliar one. He’s not a rookie, nor is he suddenly displaying a new skill. He’s a 27-year-old in his fourth NBA season, having already established himself as a sniper off the Spurs’ bench in his first three. Last year, he made 43 percent from downtown on four-and-a-half three-point attempts a game, despite averaging just 22 minutes a contest. He’s always been 6’10 with a lightning-quick release, allowing him to shoot over smaller defenders.

High-volume, accurate three-point shooting is prized by every team, and Bertans is not the first tall, long-distance sniper in league history. So why has he engender this much disbelief?

Blame the Spurs, first and foremost. They were the ones who dumped his $7.25 million salary in a trade with the Wizards, having secured a free-agent deal for a more well-known veteran at his position. (That player, Marcus Morris, didn’t end up coming. Oops). Washington had space to absorb Bertans through a creative use of trade exceptions, allowing them to take on Bertans’ contract while sending nothing back. (The not-super-super-super-dense version: they structured a trade deadline deal involving Markieff Morris and Wesley Johnson as two trades, each for a trade exception equal to their salaries. Morris’ salary is more than Bertans’, so Washington essentially “traded” that exception for Bertans).

Months later, Bertans is widely seen as a key trade piece, thanks to his expiring contract, impending payday, and the Wizards’ state as a rebuilding team. So far, the Wizards don’t seem interested to play along. “We intend to keep him,” general manager Tommy Sheppard said on the team-owned Off the Bench podcast this week, adding that the “chit-chat” is “contrived by the teams that would love to have Davis.” (Worth noting: Sheppard adopted a similar posture while the entire league tried and failed to pluck Bradley Beal away this summer.)

To some degree, Bertans is only in D.C. due to a confluence of unique factors. The Spurs had to clear a certain salary, and the Wizards were the only team with the specific slot to satisfy their desires. Still, if a robust Bertans trade market really does exist, every interested team should take a moment for self reflection. Is Bertans really is a new phenomenon, as all those announcers imply when calling his shots, or is the rest of the league scrambling to correct a player evaluation mistake the Spurs made?

The answer to both questions at once comes in the way the Wizards have used him this season. In San Antonio, Bertans rarely had plays run for him; nearly 56 percent of his points were classified at spot-up shots. He was adept at sliding along the line while someone(s) else did the heavy lifting, be it through a post-up or pick-and-roll.

Those little movements created and maximized tight windows needed to score, which was especially important when mid-range artists DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge were the hub of the offense.

Bertans served the function of a floor spacer, though calling him a “floor drifter” is more accurate. His job was to catch defenses when they paid attention elsewhere, and he did it well. But he also didn’t have a fundamentally different role than Stretch 4s of yesteryear.

Bertans still does plenty of spotting up in D.C. You’ll often see him sprinting to and along the line the second his man even looks elsewhere. That explains how he keeps getting open.

And like in San Antonio, his size, speed, balance, and elevation mean he doesn’t need much space to be “open.”

But the Wizards have expanded his role to great effect by running actual plays for him and tailoring their style to his strengths. They slide him off pindown screens like a guard, using bigs, smalls, or both to set picks. Turns out he’s just as good rising and firing on the move as he is in spot-up situations.

Sometimes, he even runs pick-and-roll, which still looks weird given his experience in San Antonio. Though Bertans is no slasher and needs a head start to properly run his man into ball screens, his handle is tighter than expected for someone his size and he has the vision and decisiveness to make the right decision.

Most importantly, the Wizards have given Bertans a neon green light to shoot on the break. Bertans scores an average of 1.65 points per possession on transition sequences, a staggering number bested only by three players in the league. But unlike Tony Snell, he’s not doing that with wide-open looks generated by someone else. He’s doing it with shots like this.

In D.C., Bertans’ shooting creates chaos and inspires terror, rather than just capitalizing on someone else’s heavy lifting. Because of that, the Wizards can leverage the threat of Bertans’ shooting to make life easier for everyone else. In transition, teams give him a version of the old Stephen Curry treatment, flying multiple defenders at him even if it leaves the basket unattended.

You see similar reactions in half-court situations, especially when Bertans is tearing off screens. Rui Hachimura is a common beneficiary.

He owes Bertans for this one.

To put it plainly, the Wizards evolved Bertans from a jitterier Steve Novak to a taller J.J. Redick. Both are useful archetypes, but one’s a whole lot more unique and valuable than the other.

In that sense, Bertans is a new phenomenon. Who else’s game can be described as “taller J.J. Redick?” Of course he elicits some form of wonder from opposing announcers. It’s easy to ask, “who saw this coming?”

But I still think this read is far too charitable to the Spurs and the rest of the league. If this really is an era dominated by deep three-point shooting, there’s not much excuse for undervaluing and failing to maximize a player with Bertans’ skill set. He got plenty of threes up in the limited minutes he did play with the Spurs, and still managed to convert them at an absurd rate. It’s not like he benefited from the hard work of superstars, unless you consider the collective Spurs bench apparatus a superstar.

And there was ample evidence already that his shooting could help a good team succeed. The Spurs outscored teams by 7.6 points per 100 possessions with him in last year and were outscored by 2.9 points per 100 possessions with him sidelined. The signs of a Bertans breakout when given a greener light were there, and the league should have put those puzzle pieces together.

Instead, the Wizards scooped up found money this summer and are laughing all the way to the bank. Meanwhile, the rest of the league will pay for their inattention in the form of dagger threes, if not inflated trade assets and/or a giant summer free-agent contract.

CLOSEOUT OF THE WEEK

Three-point shooting is essential, yet there’s no good stat that credits defenders for the essential act of preventing a three-pointer from being taken. We must reward these efforts.

Do yourself a favor and watch P.J. Tucker on this defensive possession. Look at all the stuff he does: helping on a pick-and-roll, closing out to Trey Lyles, switching onto DeMar DeRozan, then contesting DeJounte Murray’s floater. Sequences like this aren’t out of the ordinary for Tucker, and that’s the point. They show his extreme importance to the Rockets — as well as the degree to which his blue collar game covers up for the ... let’s say, inattention of two well-known offensive stars.

REBOUND JOUST OF THE WEEK

Last year, I wrote about the rising trend of teammates fighting each other for defensive rebounds. These moments usually end harmlessly, but occasionally, they can cost a team. Here’s to over-aggression!

Anytime we get a rare offensive rebound joust, it deserves special mention. Bradley Beal owes Troy Brown Jr. dinner for that one.

[intrepidolivia]

Holding Out For A Hero

This is for @cas-is-my-hero‘s writing challenge. Which I am super late for because I suck (also because I had surgery, I admit).

My prompt was the song Holding Out For A Hero.

Pairing: CastielXOlivia (OC)

Warnings: Violence, torture, threats, cursing.

Summary: Captured by demons who want information, Olivia is in a bad situation and desperately needs a hero.

There was a serious problem inherent in forming attachments as a Hunter.

It was all too easy for an enemy to use your loved ones against you.

Olivia refused to tell the demons what they wanted to know. They demanded locations, plans, names… Some things she knew, others she didn’t. She didn’t bother to tell them which were which. She simply responded with suggestions to go fuck themselves. That didn’t go over well, of course.

She expected them to hurt her. After all, she had information they wanted. Most demons would leap at the chance to torture. They lived for it. Hell, they’d do it for the pure pleasure of hearing someone scream. That they didn’t do anything to her made her nervous. The three drew off into a knot of conversation, leaving her in the corner of the abandoned office they’d dragged her into, tied to a chair.

They’d taken her cell phone, and she cursed herself for not locking it. Particularly once they started going through her texts.

Chuckling, one of the four walked up, her phone in his hand. “So, little hunter’s got herself a boyfriend.” He smirked, turning the phone screen toward her.

It was her favorite picture of Castiel. Caught in a candid moment on one of their walks. They’d stopped to sit on a bench and watch the ducks swimming at the edge of a lake. It was endearing, how fascinated by nature the angel could be. As though every time he saw it from new eyes. His expression was intent, curious, the sun brightening his features, emphasizing his blue, blue eyes.

Olivia looked at the screen, and back to the demon. “Go fuck yourself.”

“Y’see, you seem like a tough cookie. I don’t doubt we could break you eventually, but we’re in a bit of a time crunch. So I’m thinking…” He turned the phone around, the flash blinding her momentarily. “We send a picture of you all trussed up to your pretty boy here, he comes running to save you, and we see how much we have to hurt him before you tell us what we want to know.”

She couldn’t find words for a moment. Did these low-tier rent-a-demons really think they could fight, much less subdue an angel? Then it occurred to her. They didn’t know.

“Wait,” she said, trying to make it sound convincing. “Leave him out of this.”

The demon chuckled, typing away on the screen. “And attach the picture… Yeah, I think pretty boy here will like this. Arrive at this address, alone, no police, we’ll slit her throat, blah blah blah…” He rolled his black eyes. “What kind of name is Cass anyhow?”

Olivia clenched her jaw. She was reasonably sure it would look like anger and not trying to stifle her relief. The demons would have sensed it if she’d prayed, and they’d have done something unspeakable to get her to stop, no doubt. But now, they had unwittingly called in the cavalry.

One of the others approached. She was the one that made Olivia most nervous. Quiet, intense, with a smile like a knife slash. She slinked around the one playing with her phone and put a fingertip to Olivia’s chin, lifting her face.

“Why don’t I soften her up a bit?” she purred.

“Why don’t you go back to hell?” Olivia countered.

The blow rattled her teeth and made her see stars. Demons always seemed stronger than their vessels ought to be. She didn’t know if it was because they were driving the shells past their limits, or something supernatural. Either way, when they hit you, it hurt like hell. It would have knocked the chair she was tied to over, but another of them steadied it.

She spit blood. No teeth seemed to be loosened, but she could feel her lip swelling. Looking up at the female demon, she saw the smile, saw the eagerness to cause pain. The next span of time was likely to be… unpleasant.

Her hero was coming. She just had to hold out long enough.

Hell, if she could keep their attention, they’d be even more surprised when a very angry angel appeared in their midst.

The woman grabbed Olivia’s hair, pulling her head back hard. “Is your pretty boy a hunter, too?”

“No, leave him out of this, please.” She gave a whimper to her voice. They wouldn’t expect what was coming. Castiel was strong, he was fast, and the less they thought of him before he arrived, the better.

The demons chuckled softly. She had the attention of all of them now. The three men drifted closer, apparently very interested in what the woman was doing.

“Don’t kill her, Rahab,” one said. “She has to be able to talk.”

Rahab snorted. “Don’t worry. I’ll leave the little bird able to sing.” She drew a sharp nail along Olivia’s jaw. “And able to see it when we play with her pretty boy.” She looked again at the picture on the phone. “Lovely blue eyes. I might keep them.”

Olivia yanked away. “Fuck you!”

It earned her another ear-ringing blow across the face.

It was possible he hadn’t gotten the text. She didn’t want to think about that. Sometimes he let his minutes lapse, or forgot to turn the phone on. Sometimes he was somewhere, doing something beyond mortal understanding, and beyond the reach of mere technology.

Unsatisfied, Rahab hit her again. Stars danced in her vision as pain exploded across her temple. He was coming. She had to believe he was coming for her. Text or no text.

Their first kiss came after a hunt. A cold night in the lonesome October, when she’d thought she wouldn’t walk away alive. It was a dangerous time for a hunt. It was the time of year that some things grew particularly strong.

One foolish mistake was often enough to end a hunter. She’d seen it happen, heard of it. But sooner or later, everyone screwed up. Everyone had the moment when one small error could bring everything crashing down.

She’d been lucky. She’d been more than lucky that someone was watching out for her. When she found herself fleeing through a storm in the woods at night, soaked and chilled to the bone, she was certain the creatures after her would rip her to shreds.

But then, he was there. Lightning split the night as her guardian angel spread his wings and waded into the fight. He had saved her life, and she’d kissed him in the rain and darkness, trembling against him with cold and relief.

Castiel would come for her. She could feel it.

By the time her vision cleared, Rahab had pulled out a knife. Olivia couldn’t be too much surprised. She’d figured that was coming. Demons loved their sharp objects after all. She shook her head, still a little dazed.

“Pretty boy better hurry up,” commented one of the others. “Rahab’s getting bored.”

Castiel was coming. “Yeah? I suggest knitting.” Olivia spat blood at the woman.

Being stabbed through the meaty part of the shoulder would not kill her, but it hurt like hell. Olivia couldn’t keep herself from screaming as the blade punctured her, clenching her teeth and trying to suck in quick breaths. Her hero was coming.

“That’s better,” Rahab purred. “I was getting sick of your chatter. I wonder if your man will scream so pretty.”

The pain as she twisted the blade was enormous. It was almost enough to distract her from the susurrus of wings and the figure behind the demon. Almost.

She grinned, taking a breath. “Why don’t you ask him.”

It was very quick.

The demons weren’t expecting someone in their midst. They certainly weren’t expecting an angel. The first died with a scream, Castiel’s hand clamped on his head, his soul, or whatever it was a demon had, blazing with light as he fell.

He was angry. She knew he would be. It was part of why she loved him; Castiel cared very deeply. People often quoted about the fury of hell, but tended to forget the first part of the quote. Heaven had rage.

Shadowed wings unfurled behind the trench-coated angel as he moved, swift and sure and brutal to impale the next demon on a silver spike. The third tried to run. He made it three steps before Castiel was in front of him, a hand slamming into his face, ripping demon and vessel apart.

Rahab was perhaps smarter than her companions. Olivia was helpless to stop her as she yanked the knife out of her arm, and put it to her throat. As the angel turned, eyes blazing with fury, the demon pressed the edge into her skin.

“Cass. I admit, you are not what I was expecting.” She sounded calm, almost amused. “Didn’t God drown the world because of this sort of… fraternization?”

Castiel didn’t move forward. His blue eyes drifted to meet Olivia’s, then back to the demon holding her hostage. “Let her go.”

Rahab hesitated, her hand tight on Olivia’s shoulder. “Are you sure? I could give you a helping hand here, angel. Make sure you don’t produce anything you aren’t supposed to, hmm?” The blade dug into Olivia’s throat, and she felt a trickle of blood slide down her neck.

He went very still. All but his eyes, meeting Olivia’s again. She saw the question there. The one the demon wouldn’t. The question the demon probably couldn’t even fathom. Do you trust me?

She gave him a tiny smile. After all, the answer was obvious. Always.

The Winchesters, in her opinion, never gave Castiel quite enough credit. Yes, he was an angel. His Grace gave him powers that were useful. He was also a warrior. When he needed to be, he was very fast, and very accurate.

She felt the silver blade strike more than she saw him throw it. A sudden spasm against her as it sunk into Rahab’s chest. The hand holding the knife to her throat went slack all at once as light blazed from the slain demon, who managed to stand a moment before the vessel realized it was dead.

Castiel was at her side in a heartbeat, tearing off the ropes that held her to the chair, his Grace suffusing her in a warm rush, healing her wounds as he pulled her into his arms.

“I am sorry. I came as quickly as I could…”

She looped her arms around his neck, kissing him. “I knew you would,” she said softly. “I needed a hero and here you are.”

[skullssales]

KTM Duke 390 Supermoto mode | RokON VLOG #37

What’s up rate freezing cold anyway it’s a brand new week and it can be time for a brand new vlog within the final one we tuned the cooling approach on the RC 390 but today gonna be all about that 390 duke and it’s supermoto mode now it is time to learn how to Bamm properly slide into the corner in a supermoto mode and for that we found a vicinity it is surely a training facility for studying easy methods to adequately write a car bike roller skates bicycle I don’t know something however we’re gonna gain knowledge of methods to correctly slide into the corner and for that I known as some reinforcements and this man is aware of the right way to experience a really perfect mannequin bike what’s up Marco let’s mark ccuta he is Italian supermoto Trophy champion and he knows how to drift the bike proper yeah hello i admire drifting but I do not know why I have got to slide into the corner why is that good it’s truly just right in view that which you could spoil later get on the throttle quicker and your lap times get better ok that sounds just right nice you appear cool k i’m still a bit of worried i need first you show me some sliding after which i am warm-up and likewise provide me some rock and roll first please okay let’s get it sideways evasion is on I believe now it is my turn what do you say Marco yeah he’s gonna fail first or nail it I suppose it can be gonna be difficult he’ll get it on the finish of the day the 2 most customary errors are locking up the rear tire and not making use of the seize ample on down moving which outcome in rear-finish chattering I was going like a Italian champion proper one foot down nice within the curve however I simply failed to do the curve no longer even shut hearken to me I instructed you this is not a stunt bike ok you must hold it spinning and get it sideways if you block you are gonna crash okay appreciate what I simply understand that this bike has a slipper clutch so i don’t have got to use my snatch so simply do not shift and manipulate with a rear brake however now not locking there’s a KTM has made your life convenient k thank you KDM let’s put this 390 duke sideways supermoto type manipulate the slide you must effectively use 4 factors on the bike while you enter the corner you have to downshift as many gears as you need second you have to in finding the sweet spot with the clutch for those who pull it in too much you is not going to get sideways for those who pull it in too little you are going to get chattering in your rear wheel third the rear brake you need to use it alongside the engine braking watch out not to use it too much or that you could lock up the rear wheel use it regularly so you fill the again and become independent from and you don’t overdo it and last the front brake you ought to enter the corner at ample velocity so you should use the front brake adequate to dump the rear wheel which will make sliding the bike much less complicated what do you say Marco i’m getting closer yes sure you need some practice however you’ll get there yeah it can be like all of the methods don’t work in at some point correct exactly so I consider it’s your flip you should are attempting the 390 what you say you need to check out yeah i can are trying k and let’s use this nook we continuously switching corners right here we try exclusive patterns exceptional corners to discover more difficult one for more do you suppose they use slipper grab i don’t think so you are doing wrong sliding the take hold of and somewhat bit brake and this is the way you float the vehicle but they don’t scare supermoto mode so that they do not need a supermoto mode switching the motive force it’s tough to give your bike away to one more either whilst you comprehend that it’s a just right rider then it’s now not hindrance but I did the opposite factor is he gonna go over the restrict might be and lecture i am now not definite also it’s now not his bike so that is proper so it was satisfactory to have some crash protectors now we must add some crash gauge here when markers using now I was once going a bit of bit careful considering that I promised Cadia i will not spoil the bike i do know Marco can do it so Marco give us slightly bit turn up quite shiny boots for the sweet bike however do you wish to have to check out though proper adequate let’s give him time he wishes to get used to the bike rattling Rain Man no simply after we had enjoyable we need to quit this climate did you see that dude that was Marco sideways accurately so I was a rookie I showed you some rookie skills marker confirmed you some pro advantage anyway I had tons of fun they made the primary youngster steps into sliding and you had fun yeah plenty of enjoyable like what do you say concerning the 319 you i will be able to affirm the supermoto mode works very good so we’ve got a green light from the respectable supermoto rider so just right job KTM supermoto mode is working perfectly it was once additionally easy for me to learn the first steps and yeah follow mark on Instagram he has additionally various supermoto cool images movies what’s your Instagram for good love racing get low racing so comply with mark on Instagram drop some comments beneath if you happen to also are trying the super mode to mode on the on the Duke 390 and if you have some information what we probably disregard to claim drop the comments under that is it for this time see you next week except then rock on Nova Scotia today Ghana tasty was tiny Tiwari SKULLSSSALES

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Source: https://skullssales.com/