#super bowl 2012

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Happy Birthday & Happy Black History Month

On this day, 10 years ago, Ms Brown, the newest M&Ms spokescandy, was revealed at the 2012 Super Bowl. Happy birthday, Ms. Brown!

[itsallmadonnasfault]

Madonna 2012

[hollywooddemonslayer]

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

21 Jump Street (2012, Phil Lord and Chris Miller)

26/07/2024

[sapphire-weapon]

somewhere out there, there exists a timeline where resident evil fandom doesn't obsessively chase after its own misery and the new york football giants don't suck

we don't live in that timeline, but god i wish we did

[letsgetunconscious]

[13thpythagoras]

i didn't know an owl could be so superb

shout out to the Mexican national flag, burbs eatin sneks, I support it

that's just some scaleysketti al dente right there

shout out apple engineering team, I literally type super bowl and have to "x" out of its ever persistent suggestion "superb owl" because if I just kept typing it would literally autocorrect *to the typo* lmao we see Apple engineers pioneering this joke circa 2008

Knock knock. Hoo’s there? It’s Superb Owl Sunday, that’s hoo! You know who didn’t roll their eyes at that joke? Owls. Because their eyes are so large, owls *can't* roll them. Instead, they rely on their necks (which can rotate 270 degrees!) to expand their fields of vision.

From scorching deserts to frozen tundras and everywhere in between, owls can be found in some of the world’s most diverse habitats. They’ve also been around for… a while. In fact, scientists have discovered fossilized owl remains that are approximately 60 million years old!

Photo: Caleb Putnam, CC BY-SA 2.0, Wikimedia Commons (Bubo virginianus pictured)

[thatwritererinoriordan]

She was real for this.

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Rihanna featuring Jay-Z - Umbrella 2007

"Umbrella" is a song by Barbadian singer Rihanna, released worldwide in March 2007 as the lead single and opening track from her third studio album Good Girl Gone Bad (2007). Jay-Z co-wrote the song with its producers Tricky Stewart and Kuk Harrell, with additional writing contributions coming from Terius "The-Dream" Nash. "Umbrella" was written with American pop singer Britney Spears in mind. Stewart and Nash thought that Spears, who had "her personal life … a little out of control" at the time, needed a hit as a musical comeback, and sent a copy of the demo to Spears' management. However, Spears did not hear of the song because her label Jive rejected it, claiming they had enough songs for her to record. It was also given to British singer-songwriter Taio Cruz, who failed to convince his record company Mercury to release it. American R&B singer Mary J. Blige was next on the list. However, Blige failed to hear the song in full due to her obligations to the Grammys at the time and "had to sign off on the record before her reps could accept it".

"Umbrella" received universal critical acclaim upon release and was a global success, topping the charts in 19 countries such as Australia, Canada, Germany, Spain, Ireland, Norway, and Switzerland. It managed to stay atop the UK Singles Chart for 10 consecutive weeks, the longest run at number one for any single of that decade, and is also one of the few songs to top the chart for at least 10 weeks. As one of the highest digital debuts in the US at the time, it remained atop of the US Billboard Hot 100 for seven consecutive weeks. In February 2023, the song re-entered the US Billboard Hot 100 following Rihanna's performance at the half-time show of Super Bowl LVII, peaking at number 37. Worldwide the song has sold more than 6.6 million copies, making it one of the best selling singles of all time.

Entertainment Weekly ranked the song number one on the 10 Best Singles of 2007, while Rolling Stone and Time listed the song at number three on the 100 Best Songs of 2007. It won Video of the Year and Monster Single of the Year at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards and Most Watched Video on MuchMusic.com at MuchMusic Video Awards. "Umbrella" is also a playable song in the 2012 video game Just Dance 4. And, as the majority of rebloggers have happily stated, actor Tom Holland delightfully danced to it on MTV's Lip Sync Battle.

"Umbrella" received a total of 86,5% yes votes!

[cautious-soup]

Just watched Thunderbolts like 2 hours ago, here are some headcanons because 2012 avengers core is the only good recession indicator we've had so far.

John and Bob both cook, but John cooks like an almond mom whereas Bob cooks like he's making a last meal every single time. John nags at Bob for making the team unhealthy things like triple smash burgers or loaded tater tots. He preps the team acai bowls, detox smoothies, poke, or something of the like--everyone else is just happy to be fed.

Ava loves pink, but feels she doesn't look very good wearing it--too scared to indulge herself. Yelena takes her out shopping and helps her work through her style, reassures her that she looks beautiful no matter what she has on.

Bucky and Alexei are the oldest, but Bucky is the most responsible. Still, they both take on caretaking roles for the others, and each other. Bucky will open the dishwasher to find his arm missing, only to find it propped up and holding granola bars or a bottle of water with notes like "Good super soldiers need energy to stay alert." or "Is no good to neglect your hydration." Bucky will remind Alexei that eating vegetables every once and a while is a good thing. (And John will really drive the point home)

Yelena, John, and Ava are combat weapon nerds, get in a debate about weapons at least once a week. They all geek out when they find an old dent in the tower lounge supposedly left by a dropped Mjolnir.

Bob's hair changes color depending on who's close to fronting. Void's black hair spreads from the tips, Sentry's blond hair spreads from the roots.

Ava phases when she sneezes--has fallen through the back of the couch multiple times because of this.

Yelena is always the one to take care of bugs. Despite the tower's world class security they always manage to find a way inside, much to John's chagrin (he has a phobia of most bugs.)

Bucky prioritizes one on one time with everyone, because everyone on the team tends to isolate themselves whenever something is wrong, or if their moods fluctuate. Talks Void back from shadowing NYC again, reasons with Sentry when his delusions get too steep, reminds Bob to take things one step at a time, tells John he still has plenty to live for, helps Ava remember she's more than her pain, reassures Yelena about her place in the world, indulges Alexie when he talks about his happier days.

Alexei is always making sure nobody is too hard on themselves both physically and mentally. Always makes sure Yelena, John and Ava aren't over-training, and that Bucky isn't burning himself out with PR work. Tells Bob every day that he is doing an astounding job.

Hi I wrote a fic based on the first headcanon

(Polybolts Fluff Fic)

(Polybolts NSFW Fic)

[itsallmadonnasfault]

[boybeholding]

Hi there!

I really loved your 2012 Leo/Stoner Reader and was wondering if you could do a scenario with a very high Leo being mushy and lovestruck to the reader 👉👈 or a headcanons of similar premise? :)

I super duper love the way you write 12 Leo btw ♡ ♡

hi anon!! I'm so glad you've enjoyed my stuff so far!! <33 I must seem biased with how much 12 leo i'm writing, but it's not my fault people keep sending in fun requests lol

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

2012 Leo + Reader Content Warnings: recreational drug use

companion piece

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

When your curtain jostled against the wall, you found yourself turning on instinct, shoulders slumping when it was merely the wind, giving way transparently to the rooftop of the building next to you. 

Leo had texted you over an hour ago, asking if you were doing anything. You’d said no, truthfully, having been laying in bed playing Subway Surfers on your phone. 

It was just about your bedtime, and you’d smoked a bowl to assure a peaceful 8 hours before your upcoming morning shift– but you couldn’t help but wait on Leo’s potential visit. You knew from experience that if he showed up to find you asleep, he’d turn right back around. So you were determined to stay awake until you couldn’t. You rarely got to see him as it was.

After staring out the window for a few more moments, you sighed, and reclined back onto your bed. You closed your eyes, crossing your arms over your head. 

Sleep was beckoning gently, and you found yourself loosening your muscles to it. You could just rest your eyes…

“Hey. Are you up?”

The whisper was so close it nearly made you reel, jolting your head up. As usual, you hadn’t heard his entrance. Leo was standing, slightly awkwardly, over your bed.

“Mhm- yeah.. Sorry, was just stretching,” You mumbled absently, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

You took in the sight of him, a little more intently than you meant to. It was a little odd, that he’d risked waking you to come inside– and on closer inspection, he seemed… tense.

“What’s up? What’d you do tonight?” you asked softly, tone casual, if slightly probing. He gave you a sideways glance, obviously not fooled by your attempted nonchalance.

“Wasted my time,” He mumbled bitterly, folding his hands together in his lap. 

Definitely tense. 

You huffed at him, unsatisfied with that as an answer, though you knew him well enough that you figured it was the only one you were getting for a while.

“...Well, I’m gonna…” you mimed puffing a joint with one hand, pointing to your still open window. “You wanna go put on the TV? I can meet you out there.”

A look of conflict crossed his face, and you were worried for a moment that he didn’t have the time. Truly, you didn’t either, but between Leo and sleep, the pick was easy.

“I’ll wait in here,” He settled, pulling himself a little more upward onto the bed. You stared for a moment, then nodded, grabbing your pipe from the ashtray on your windowsill. 

Leo turned to face you as you moved, staring at your hands intently. It didn’t feel like anything special, packing the ground bud into the glass bowl of the pipe– but every time, he watched, enraptured. 

After taking the first drag, leaving ashes glowing a cherry red, you held it across the bed to him.

Maybe it was a little hypocritical to get on his case for watching you load the pipe. You always found yourself drawn in the same way when he took it from you. He’d close his eyes so gently when he exhaled… 

You had been a little disappointed the first time, when he hadn’t so much as coughed. Why did he have to be so damn good at everything? 

You passed it back and forth until the pipe was burnt down to nothing, and when you decided to load it again, you were immensely surprised when Leo reached over to pluck it from you. One hit was rare for the mutant, and now he was trying to match your pace.

“Slow down, man,” you giggled, catching his breath quiver on a particularly long drag.

“I’m f–ine,” He mumbled, straining with the effort to hold back his own laughter. He held his arms above his head, taking slow breaths until his airway was clear.

“That was, like, 6 hits. You know that, right?” You quirked a brow at him. “What happened to you?”

He pouted, hands tangling idly in his lap as he watched you tap out the ash.

“I… okay. I just…” He sighed, eyes squeezing tight as he visibly searched for the words. “I felt like I was going to do something stupid. So, I… thought I’d come here, instead of… picking a fight at home.”

“So you’d rather do something stupid with me?” You grinned.

He fought a smile, eyes locked far-off on the floor.

“Something like that?”

You ended up settled in your living room, no lights but the television screen you sat in front of. You had scanned the late night broadcasts diligently, but settled on an anime rerun on Adult Swim. You didn’t care much for it, the isekai B-plot lost on you, but Leo seemed to be enjoying himself.

“I’m hungry,” you mused quietly, a little jostled by Leo sitting up.

“I got it,” He said rather quickly. You raised your brow, turning to watch him over the back of the couch as he walked into your kitchen. You couldn’t help your amusement as he bumbled around, looking through pantries like he’d never been in there before.

“Those are the tupperware, bud.”

“Oh…” He mumbled, not even trying to save face as he normally would. He finally made his way to the fridge, though after opening it, he was faced with a new challenge.

“Uh, what do you want?” He asked with a small, bashful smile. 

“There’s leftovers at the top.” You pointed past him, though with the distance between you, it did little to clarify.

He grabbed the black takeout boxes, slowly looking through them.

“You went to sushi without me?” He asked sadly as he walked back into the living room, and you resisted the urge to poke fun at his syntax. 

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always busy. Besides, it wasn’t like it was Murakamis,” you rebutted, taking one of the boxes from him.

“I’m not busy!”

“Please, all you talk about is training and patrolling and fighting all the time. This is the first time I’ve seen you in weeks.”

He frowned, sitting down on the couch a lot closer than he had been. Your knees brushed slightly.

“Well– okay, yeah. We’ve been a little busy,” He admitted with a slight pout. “But you could still text me more.”

You chuckled around a mouthful of sushi, shifting closer so you could pat his shell. You didn’t say anything, just shrugged in half-agreement. 

He let out a slightly strangled noise when you touched him. It startled you, admittedly, and you were about to ask if he was alright, when he leaned back, trapping your hand between his shell and the couch. His eyes had trailed back to the TV screen, so you decided against saying anything, just rubbing your hand up and down along the rigid grooves. The feeling was grounding against your brain fog, something firm to anchor yourself on.

It came to you a while later, on the decline of your high, that you two were… Close. 

At some point, Leo’s head had migrated onto your chest, laying on top of you with your hands roving over his shell. It had been a natural progression at the time. This was the most convenient access point to his back. But looking down at him now, his face smushed on your chest as he hummed and sighed in gentle contentment, you felt like you damn near might explode.

“Is– am I supposed to feel so… blurry?” Leo asked into your shirt, tilting his head up to look at you with wide-blown eyes.

“Yeah, that’s normal,” you mumbled, nails catching on the ridges of his shell. “Are you supposed to be so cute?” You flirted absently, your restraint still loosened by the cannabis in your system. 

Leo blinked, slowly, and you almost laughed at how glazed over his eyes were. He grinned, visibly confused.

“Wait… can you repeat that? I totally misheard you,”

“I said you’re cute.” 

His expression dropped into bewilderment, and his cheeks darkened.

“Ohh. I, uh, I guess I did hear you then.” He chuckled, eyes darting away from you for a moment as the gears in his head spun. “I, uh… Thought I’d imagined it,”

You couldn’t help yourself.

“You think stuff like that a lot?” You prodded. “About me?”

He covered his head with a hand, still looking away.

“...Maybe?” He confessed, an embarrassed smile forced onto his face. 

You felt like american cheese on a grilling burger. Melting, stuck to the couch beneath you. 

“I just think you’re cool,” He added.

You lifted a hand to toy with the ends of his bandanna, twisting them around on your thumb.

“I think you’re cool too, Leo.”

[dear-ao3]

yeah the Super Bowl halftime show was alright but i want to take this opportunity to subject you all to my personal favorite halftime show: the 2012 nba finals pitbull, chris brown and ne-yo halftime show

its an utter and absolute train wreck so terrible you can't look away. it begins with weird seductive whispering by pitbull while the camera zooms into his face. then he appears wearing all black, sunglasses, and gloves like a mafia boss. his terrible dancing attempts. his performance looks like hes making a plea to the united nations. then marc anthony appears on the screen behind him like a hostage video. he conducts the dancers like a drum major or perhaps a slightly too insane middle school band director. then chris brown appears from nowhere, in an ugly suit, and upstages him at his own show by pulling out some newsies bow sequence level dancing. then of course ne-yo appears because why wouldn't he. and his hat is sitting in ways that make it seem like a magic trick it hasn't fallen off yet. and pitbull is in the middle of it all, thrusting his hips and his hands into the hearts of america as he spews utter nonsense like confetti. its absolutely bamboozling and the best halftime show ive ever seen.

[mydaddywiki]

Jimmy Johnson

Physique: Average Build Height: 5′ 8″

James William Johnson (born July 16, 1943) is an American sports analyst and former football coach. Johnson served as a head football coach on the collegiate level from 1979 to 1988 and in the NFL for nine seasons. He is the first head football coach to win both a college football national championship and a Super Bowl, achieving the former with University of Miami and the latter with the Dallas Cowboys. Since his coaching retirement, Johnson has appeared as an analyst for Fox Sports and is one of the featured commentators of Fox NFL Sunday. He was inducted to the College Football Hall of Fame in 2012 and the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2020.

Handsome silverdaddy with a decent body and what I like to call 'perfect hair forever.' Would just love to run my fingers though that hair of his. Kinda disappointed about the ExtenZe deal, but he has other qualities I can abuse.

Johnson attended high school at Thomas Jefferson High School, now Memorial High School, in Port Arthur, Texas. Johnson played college football as a defensive lineman at the University of Arkansas between 1962 and 1964. During his time in Arkansas, he played with future Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

Johnson held his first head football coaching position at Oklahoma State University from 1979 to 1983. He became Miami's head football coach in 1984 and guided the team to a college championship, before succeeding original Cowboys head coach Tom Landry in 1989. He served five seasons with the Cowboys and guided the team to two Super Bowl championships. Johnson also coached the Miami Dolphins for four seasons and led the club to the playoffs in all but his first year on the job. In all, Johnson’s record as an NFL head coach was 80-64-0 in the regular season and 9-4 in the playoffs for an overall mark of 89-68-0.

Twice married, first to Linda Kay Cooper on July 12, 1963, with whom he had two sons, divorced in January 1990. On July 18, 1999, Johnson married Rhonda Rookmaaker. I swear… why do I even bother. There isn't much else I can say about him. He's good looking and I'd love to fuck him like crazy. Like a lot of other people no doubt.

Career Highlights and Awards As Head Coach: 2× Super Bowl champion (XXVII, XXVIII) AP NFL Coach of the Year (1990) Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor National champion (1987) Walter Camp Coach of the Year (1986) Big Eight Coach of the Year (1979) As Player: National champion (1964) 2× SWC champion (1961, 1964) First-team All-SWC (1964)

Career Coaching Statistics NFL win–loss record: 80–64 Postseason record: 9–4 NCAA win–loss record: 81–34–3

[sacchiri]

[Hellsing] Female Fans' Round-Table Discussion

A 6-page interview from the 2012 Hellsing Official Guidebook, featuring five grown-ass women chatting about Hellsing in a casual discussion format and translated into English for the first time ever by yours truly.

Honestly this was way more entertaining to read than I thought it would be. It’s also really funny seeing this super-casual discussion printed in the book right alongside Hirano's—-oh who am i kidding, this is 10x more professional and less deranged than whatever goes on in Hirano’s interviews.

Anyway, without further ado...

Does Hellsing have little to no female fans? Nay! Assembled before you are five women with an undying love for the series. Let’s see their passion for this work show itself as they butt heads!

Is the female fanbase just hiding itself or what?

Moderator: Now then, everyone, let’s start off with introductions.

Ms. T: I am Ms. T. I’ve been walking the path of an otaku since middle school, and it’s already been ● years since then. How do I put this, all of you seem like fairly normal people…

Everyone: Oh no—rest assured we are all otaku as well. (laughter)

Ms T: Oh, really? (laughs) Anyway, I’ve continued to love manga for all this time. Thank you for having me.

Ms J: I’m Ms J. I was already at a decent age when Hellsing began serialization, but to create something so enticing—as expected of Hirano-sensei! (laughs). This is the kind of manga I’d better buy and collect, I thought.

Ms A: Out of today’s gathering, I’m probably the one who became an otaku at the oldest age. (laughs) My friend told me, “Hellsing is a manga that really crazy people read”, so at first I couldn’t get around to starting it. But around the time volume 8 came out, I binge-read it, and it was so interesting that I couldn’t help but get obsessed.

Ms R: I’m probably the youngster in this group. By the time Hellsing started serialization, I was just entering middle school. [T/N: That makes her 27 at the time of this interview.]

Of course we didn’t really have the term "edgy-teen syndrome" back then, but around me the manga was definitely gaining popularity in that edgy teen fashion. One of my best friends was obsessed with Hellsing and I’d borrow it after they finished reading it, and I got addicted too.

Moderator: I’m under the impression that the female readership for Hellsing is overwhelmingly small, but…

Ms J: Nah, I think they’re just hiding. I mean, it’s not like you’d talk about Hellsing to someone in passing. You wouldn’t suddenly say, “Y’know, Alucard is…”

Everyone: True. (laughs)

Ms J: There isn’t much opportunity to bring it up, or perhaps you could say it’s a hard topic to bring up to the general public.

Ms A: Like how you can’t have a pork-and-rice bowl first thing in the morning or something.

Ms J: Yeah, like that. Actually, among my circle of female otaku friends, everyone has read Hellsing.

Ms T: Among manga fans, Kouta Hirano is well-understood.

Ms J: Any fan of manga who doesn’t know Kouta Hirano is a faker!

Ms T: Disregarding whether you’ve properly sat down and read his works or not, I feel like it’s impossible for a manga enthusiast to not have at least heard of Hirano-sensei. But we are talking about manga fans in general, and the range of tastes is so broad. If someone were to say to me “I’m a fan of Kouta Hirano”, only then would I be like, “Oh, so I can talk comfortably with this person”.

Moderator: It’s a good litmus test to use. (laughs)

Ms A: It’s only when you broach the topic of Kouta Hirano that you can finally talk about Hellsing. You can’t go straight from “So I hear you like manga” to “So, about Hellsing…”, lol.

Ms J: If you met someone for the first time and you go “So I heard you like manga? What about Hellsing?” that’s like coming straight for their throat with a knife. (laughs)

Moderator: Even as a gauge to see how much of an otaku your opponent is, it’s a bit too much to try and break the ice with Hellsing.

The wonders of dialogue

Ms J: Speaking of the good points of Hellsing, I think it’s that it doesn’t get overly preachy. You can see this starting from Cross Fire, but you really get the sense that everyone’s equally crazy here.

Ms A: I can see that. No one is on the side of justice. Like the Major, he’s a nasty little guy. The type of guy who would casually twist off an ant’s legs or something like that.

Ms J: That Major, his beta male levels are literally off the charts.

Everyone: (bursts into laughter)

Ms J: Actually, something that caught my interest about the setting is that only virgins can become vampires. In the first place, I don’t think European vampire lore makes that kind of distinction.

Ms T: Father Anderson is probably a virgin, since he has religious reasons for celibacy. Though it might depend on religious sect. I wonder if there’s a meaning behind this concept of chastity?

Ms J: The idea of chastity is valued in the Hellsing universe as well.

Ms A: Right, since if you aren’t a virgin you become a ghoul, and then it’s game over and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Ms R: Speaking of which, Integra’s a virgin, too.

Ms T: Integra being a virgin is an important part of the story.

Ms J: In my personal opinion, the best couple is definitely Alucard and Integra.

Ms R and Ms A: I was going to say the same!

Ms T: Integra and Alucard call each other “Count”, don’t they? You know, in a previous life it’s possible that Integra was a man. Perhaps Alucard is seeing the Count Hellsing of the past through Integra. Thinking about that possibility makes a girl’s heart flutter. Not to mention Integra’s appearance leans towards that of a man— Ah, it’s just so peak! [T/N: I'm not being facetious, 盛り literally means peak]

Ms A: Those who want to read a male/female romance can enjoy doing so, and for people who like BL, there are plenty of elements that can be enjoyed as BL also. I feel like the reason you can enjoy both things is because the relationships that are depicted are not constrained purely to sexual love.

Ms J: For those who like to read into the BL aspect, there are lots of fight scenes that can’t be ignored, can they? Particularly in the endgame. Like Girlycard and Young Walter, that was...really something.

Moderator: That part was just unfair! I mean, after getting captured by Millennium and going M.I.A., all that anticipation was building and building, and for Walter to be reintroduced like that!

Ms J: When I got to that part I was like, “Man, Hirano-sensei really did his best to keep all that stuff pent-up for so long". For both Walter and Girlycard, I mean.

Moderator: Speaking of Girlycard, I get the feeling that the idea for her was in place since the early stages of story development.

Ms J: I wonder about that… on the other hand it seems like it was a very spontaneous decision. (laughs)

Ms A: Even if the story developments feel spontaneous, I feel like the characters' settings are polished to a high degree from the beginning. Even though a new character suddenly appears out of nowhere, you end up following along without feeling a sense of discomfort. In Hirano-sensei's mind, I'm sure that each character is cultivated with an equal amount of attention. After that it's just a matter of deciding what situations the character will appear in.

Ms J: Each character is excellently molded to their place in the story. Even though normally it should be very challenging to create characters that would fit in this sort of world. (laughs) From the moment of their introduction, they are already dyed in Hirano's unique brand, and you can tell that Hirano understands them well.

Ms R: After all, characters from his past works before Hellsing make appearances in the manga, so you get the feeling that these are ideas that have been stewing in his head for a long time.

Moderator: And within Hellsing too, these characters grow and develop. Like Maxwell—he started out as a mere brat, but then he went full tryhard mode and developed that cunning and pretentious side to him.

Everyone: (leans forward) Yeah, that's right!!

Ms J: —And he had that past with Anderson, didn't he? I was like "Hold on a sec, a flashback scene now, are you kidding me"? Even though I knew that a flashback is basically a death flag, I couldn't help but love it. (laughs)

Ms A: At the final moment, Maxwell called Anderson "Sensei", a reversal of their dynamic thus far. Up until then there were hints of foreshadowing, but nothing definite. But with that single word you could feel the adoration Maxwell had felt for Anderson when he was a child... It's amazing how potent that line was. The timing of delivery was excellent, too.

Ms R: Up until that point Maxwell was portrayed as nothing more than a snob, but the truth is there were reasons why he became that way.

Ms T: Hirano-sensei is very skilled at depicting relationships between men.

The beauty of composition

Ms A: In Hellsing, there aren't any characters that go too far beyond the range of normal anatomy.

Even with regards to enemies and such, there aren't any massively gargantuan or bulky characters. Everyone is more or less normal. And yet, there is so much impact in the poses that it leaves you with a strong impression. Those standout panels just radiate style—so much so that anyone with an eye for art will be impressed by them, I think.

Ms T: The paneling is relatively simple, but the composition sense of each panel is amazing.

Ms R: I love the stuff like Rip Van's silhouette. The balance between her and the musket is super cool. Even though something that size in real life would be impractical to shoot, it looks so cool that it's like, "Who cares!"

Ms A: Fight scenes that should have a lot of movement are instead surprisingly depicted with still frame shots, and they have a beauty to them reminiscent of paintings. It makes me want to stare at the same handful of panels for a long time. Calling it aesthetic beauty might be a bit of an exaggeration, but...

Ms T: Not an exaggeration at all, I think there is a lot of aesthetic beauty. For me, when I look at Hirano-sensei's artwork, I'm reminded of ukiyo-e paintings. And in the movement, I sense a bit of kabuki theater.

Moderator: Each panel is created with beauty in every nook and cranny, so as to work as a standalone illustration.

Ms R: The way shadow and blood is depicted is so good, isn't it? It really makes full use of the monochrome medium.

Ms A: When I was reading the scene in volume 8 when Cromwell Level 0 is released and soldiers are unleashed in hordes, it reminded me of a medieval copperplate engraving. The plot developments in that moment were so interesting, and the density of the illustrations so rich, that simply staring at them was enjoyable.

Ms T: It really draws you in, doesn't it? In other manga that have very detailed art styles, the realism makes it feel similar to a liveaction movie. But Hirano's works are 100% "manga", I would say. In that sense, none of it is realistic at all. But that's why it's possible to achieve poses and compositions that are impossible with photography, and that's why he can portray things I didn't even know I would want to see.

The position of women in Hellsing

Moderator: To all of you, was there a scene where you were like, "This scene right here is where I became obsessed"?

Ms J: So this is my personal taste, but I liked the setup of the handsome lady Master and the handsome male Servant. I like butlers, too. So once those three conditions were satisfied, I was like, "This is a good manga". The part where I was like "This is a really good manga" was when Anderson was introduced. At first, I was thinking this would be a story where Alucard dotes upon Seras and raises her up as a vampire, but then we were introduced to a Catholic priest from the same religion, yet who aims to defeat the protagonists...

Ms A: You can't deny the impact of Anderson. The only thing he wants to do is "exterminate vampires". While characters in Hellsing may undergo sudden changes, they never waver. They race from their introduction to their final chapter with just as much momentum as when they were first introduced. Not only is it satisfying to read, you won't be disappointed. As long as your favorite character appears, you can focus all your attentions on them, and before you know it you'll have binge-read to the last chapter. (laughs)

Ms T: For me, the scene when Integra discovers Alucard in the basement, and Alucard was revived with her blood is when I became hooked. While it is an expected development for vampire stories, that part of the story was very beautiful. And afterwards, I loved the tender portrayal of Seras's growth. Among ero-guro media, there are many works that portray women in a demeaning manner, but Hellsing is not one of them.

Ms A: In Hellsing, there is no distinction in the roles that are assigned to men and women.

Ms J: Indeed, women fight and stand on the front lines. And it feels natural.

Ms R: To tell the truth, when I first started reading Hellsing, I thought Integra was a man. And, for some reason it felt overly pandering [T/N: I assume she means pandering to fujoshi] and I just couldn't get into it. But then I realized Integra was a woman, and I was like "Oh, so it's a female/male master-servant relationship! I'm sorry for making such a weird assumption!" (laughs) I feel like it's important that Integra is a woman.

Ms T: In volume 1 there were moments where Integra was told incredulously, "You're a woman?", but in those moments I always felt that, ironically, being called a "woman" was what made her so much more cool. In Hellsing, you get the feeling that all characters are loved by the creator regardless of being male or female, enemy or ally. There are many standout characters among the villains, for example.

Ms J: Each character showcases their individuality in their fighting style as well.

Ms A: I love that Rip Van is this scrawny girl with long limbs, who wields an old-fashioned musket—it gives off a really fantastic impression. The fact that a girl is given that kind of position, without it feeling offensive. When men draw female characters there tends to be a bit of double standards going on, or it can feel cloying or annoying depending on the scenario, but I don't feel that in Hellsing.

Ms J: Far from being annoying, the depictions of women feel unique and cool in their own way.

Ms A: You're right. Traditionally, female characters are accompaniments to the hero, aren't they? But Integra takes the lead, and while Seras is supported by those around her, she moves according to her own choices. Even among the female villains, they are given important roles that they carry out to the end, so you can read while feeling a sense of satisfaction.

Points you would recommend to other women

Ms T: Doesn't the series in general have a sort of sensuality?

Ms J: It does. As it gets nearer and nearer to the endgame, even the fight scenes show more tenderness. It's like a "They love each other, therefore they trade blows" vibe that feels erotic.

Ms R: When Alucard returned to London in volume 8, it felt pretty romantic.

Ms T: On the other hand, the explanations about weapon specs that pop up everywhere seem very male-oriented. I guess this is what you call the author's hobby.

Ms J: Speaking of the author's hobby, I feel like the fact that Walter is an old man is one of them. If you think about it purely in terms of reader appeal, there should have been no problem if Walter was young from the beginning. I get the impression that he was like, "If you're going to add a butler, it better be an old geezer". Ahh—the more I reread, the more I feel like I discover new things.

Moderator: There is plenty more we weren't able to talk about, but to close us off, please appeal to the women who haven't read Hellsing yet as to why they should read the series.

Ms A: The female characters are so full of life, so why not give it a try mainly for the female characters?

Ms T: You can read it together with your boyfriend! There are lots of battles and weapons that guys would like, and there's no nasty relationship drama, so it might actually be a big hit among couples.

Ms J: "Look at Integra and Alucard, honey, they're just like us!" or something? (laughs)

Ms R: When you think of vampire media, you might be inclined to imagine something campy and whimsical. But even though there's a lot of absurdism at play, the world is based on real historical facts. So I want to recommend it broadly, even to those that don't normally enjoy fantasy.

Ms T: I feel like Hellsing is like a very strong liquor. At first you might feel that the taste is overwhelming, but once you get used to it, it becomes delicious.

Ms J: Please go in with zero expectations and give it a read.

Moderator: Thank you all for your time today!

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Link to the raw scans (which are not mine). Feel free to spread and repost my translation to other sites.

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

UPDATE

With the help of AI, I now have a surplus of stories. So, even though I’ll continue posting new stories here bi-weekly. I’ll post a new story on my side blog, Celebrity Fan Fiction @celebrityfanfictionblog on the off week. So now you’ll have a new story every week. Also, with the help of AI, I’ll be revising/enhancing my old stories and posting them of Celebrity Fan Fiction @celebrityfanfictionblog too.

Now here’s the schedule for the next five stories I’ll be posting here.

Hope you enjoy the new stuff.

DISCLAIMER: These are works of FICTION. It’s meant purely for the entertainment of adults.

The Confession of Cardinal Dolan Chapter One: "The Confession of Cardinal Dolan"

Synopsis: In Cardinal Dolan’s opulent office, journalist Tom Reilly’s interview on homosexuality turns provocative when he confesses his sexuality, igniting a forbidden oral encounter with the jovial cardinal. Their intense climax, steeped in power and desire, leaves both wrestling with sin as Tom departs with an unexpected story.

POSTING: 7/11/2025

Tales of Bar 7 Ranch CHAPTER 1: "Forbidden Heat in the Texas Dust"

Synopsis: At Bar 7 Ranch, Cody Archie, a preachy rancher with a large online following, and Tucker James, a closeted gay ranch hand, repair a fence. Tucker’s attraction to Cody leads to an intense oral encounter, despite Cody’s insistence he’s not gay. After a charged climax, Cody’s cold demeanor leaves their future uncertain.

POSTING: 7/25/2025

Lt. Governor Nungesser Chapter 1: "Jackson Square Sparks"

Synopsis: During Super Bowl LIX week in New Orleans, February 2025, Lt. Governor Billy Nungesser meets Aaron Moore at a Jackson Square light show. Their instant attraction leads to Aaron giving Billy his hotel key. That night, Billy visits Aaron’s room, where they share a passionate, secret encounter involving intense kisses, oral, and anal sex. Billy leaves, insisting the rendezvous never happened.

POSTING: 8/8/2025

The Fall of Falwell Chapter 1: "Tangled Bonds by the Poolside"

Synopsis: In March 2012, at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach, 20-year-old pool attendant Giancarlo Granz is seduced by Becki Falwell, a charismatic woman in her mid-forties. In their hotel suite, her husband, Jerry Falwell Jr., watches as Becki and Giancarlo engage in passionate oral and vaginal sex, their intense encounter culminating in a shared climax, sparking a series of future trysts.

POSTING: 8/22/2025

Coach Bowden Chapter One: "Earnin’ a Spot"

Synopsis: At the University of Akron, 6’4” wide receiver Mason Phillips, harboring a secret crush and hidden sexuality, meets Coach Terry Bowden to discuss his starting role. In the coach’s office, their talk turns into an explicit oral encounter, with Mason satisfying the 60-year-old Bowden to secure his spot, hinting at future rendezvous.

POSTING: 9/5/2025