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cinder-stella · 4 days ago

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𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞 :3

<MDNI>fluff, slice of life, soft core dad energy<MDNI>

kento, satoru, toji, hiromi, suguru

Everyone knows that once you have a baby, your time stops being your own.

You were covered in dried breast milk, spit-up, and the faint scent of baby products. All you wanted was one precious hour to unwind, take a bath, and pretend that you were still a single woman living alone, sipping wine on a Saturday evening with not a burp rag in sight.

Your husband had offered to take the baby off your hands for a while, and you couldn’t have said yes faster. You pictured yourself with a romance novel, flickering candles around a marble tub and bubbles rising as you submerged yourself in warmth and silence.

So, after handing over the baby, you disappeared behind the bathroom door, practically squealing with glee—leaving behind one child, five realities, and a quiet hope that no one would start crying or burn the house down.

Across separate timelines held together by sheer willpower and baby rags, five very different men look down at the same tiny, expressive baby.

And whether they admit it or not, they all have the same thought- “Okay. I got this.”

KENTO

Kento has a system built on months of observations and failed attempts.

Bath, lotion, pajamas, story. Very simple. Very efficient.

…Except tonight, for some unknown reason, the baby is ferociously and almost spiritually obsessed with his hair.

“Darling, please,” he says calmly, peeling her tiny, damp, and unreasonably strong fingers from his fringe for the fourth time as he buttons her onesie with surgeon-level precision. “If you let Dada finish the bedtime routine, I’ll let you have a few strands to sleep with.”

She squeals, completely unmoved by reason or logic. Her entire soul is locked onto Kento’s soft, neat, dirty blond hair. She fusses briefly, offended that she’s being restrained—then suddenly launches forward like a baby wrecking ball. Forehead, cheeks, and nose collide with his scalp in full-body commitment. Her fist remains firmly clamped around a chunk of his fringe as she buries her entire face into his head like an aggressive koala.

“Okay—ow, no—”

He freezes. Her mouth is wide open, her soft little gums press against his hairline like it’s her favorite puree.

“Are you this naughty with your mother?” he mutters, lifting her like a loaf of bread and gently adjusting her onesie, while she squeals in triumph and brandishes a rogue lock of his hair between her little fingers.

“Fine, have it your way,” he sighs, kissing her cheek. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

They finish the bedtime routine on her terms—his hair slightly tousled, her completely triumphant.

SATORU

Satoru is multitasking.

The baby is tucked securely under one arm like a football. Her feet are dangling, a pacifier in her mouth—she’s absolutely chilling. He’s stretched out on the couch, watching a gameplay video on his phone with the intensity usually reserved for life-or-death situations.

“Okay, watch this, squirt,” he murmurs, tipping the phone slightly toward her as the YouTuber pulls off a brutal finisher in Street Fighter. “That’s how Daddy used to fight back in the day.”

She blinks up at him, entirely unimpressed. The pacifier bobs in her mouth.

Satoru grins. “We’re bonding. You don’t even know it.”

For a moment, all is peaceful. Just a man, his child, and a video of two people absolutely obliterating each other at 60 frames per second.

Then the pacifier slips out of her mouth.

plop.

There was one haunting second of silence. Then—WAIL.

Satoru instantly panics. “Whoa whoa whoa, okay, this is a crisis, i’ll never make it in time, this is the end—”

He scrambles, balancing her under one arm while reaching between couch cushions. For a man that once fought a curse while blindfolded, Satoru sure had a hard time finding a pacifier under his own butt.

He finally grabs it, holds it up like a trophy, then pauses.

It has lint. Dog hair? Something that might be a piece of nerds candy.

He looks at her. She’s sniffling now. Absolutely wounded and betrayed. Gojo sighs, looks at the pacifier, then at the sink. Then back at the pacifier.

“Question is…do I wash it or suck it clean like a real dad?” he mutters.

She lets out another sniffle. Time is running out.

He pops it in his own mouth, makes a face, gives it a quick swirl then offers it back to her and hopes that she’ll accept it.

She does. She calms instantly and sinks back into his side like nothing happened.

Satoru grins. “See? Problem-solved. I’m a great ass dad.”

TOJI

Toji is just trying to eat.

Nothing fancy, just a sandwich he’s been thinking about since noon. Something greasy, toasty, filled with bacon and cheesy goodness.

The baby is sitting in her little bouncer nearby, all chubby cheeks and big eyes. Completely harmless, right?

WRONG.

He unwraps the sandwich. Takes one bite and closes his eyes.

Perfection.

Then—A tiny, high-pitched “Eh!”

He opens one eye.

She’s staring directly at him with her hands clenched and knees twitching.

Toji chews slowly. “No,” he says flatly.

She lets out a louder “AAH!”

“Kid, you don’t even have teeth.”

She kicks her feet, furious now. The betrayal is palpable.

“This is mine,” he says, lifting the sandwich protectively. “Yours is… breastmilk. Or mush. Or air. I don’t know what babies eat after six.”

Her face crumples and forms into that cute pout that absolutely nobody could resist.

He groans and tears off a microscopic piece of bread and gives it to her like an offering to a very powerful and very unreasonable queen.

She takes it. She looks at it, then immediately drops it.

She squeals in triumph. Toji stares at the fallen crumb.

“You little gremlin.”

She laughs. She knows what she’s done.

He grumbles and tears off another piece, this time slightly larger, and watches her mash it in her mouth with barely any coordination.

She was content—happy, satisfied, not screaming.

And okay…maybe he kind of likes that weird gurgly giggle she does when she’s proud of herself.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, giving her another piece.

HIROMI

The baby is propped in the crook of his arm, bottle in hand. He’s freshly changed into a cardigan that somehow makes him look even more competent and beside him sits a very specific book: Baby’s First Legal Concepts.

He clears his throat. “Let’s begin.”

She’s already drinking, eyes fluttering half-closed but Hiromi persists.

“‘A is for Acquittal,’” he reads solemnly. “When a person is found not guilty of a crime they were charged with. Acquittal.”

She makes a soft gurgling sound, milk dribbling from the corner of her mouth.

Hiromi nods. “Exactly. That’s called due process. Keeps things fair.”

He gets to the section on ‘Contempt of Court’ before realizing she’s fully asleep, bottle barely hanging on in her grip, drool soaking into his sleeve.

He sighs and gently shifts her, tapping her back in a slow rhythm.

“That’s fair. No one should have to hear about courtroom manners before bedtime,” he murmurs, kissing the side of her head.

She snores softly.

“Smart girl,” he adds. “Knows when to tune out the system.”

SUGURU

Suguru walks slow laps around the backyard. The baby is strapped snug against his chest in a floral sling that someone (not him) insisted was “gender neutral.”

He hums a tune—low, rhythmic and just a little off-key. The baby rests her head against his chest with an overly dramatic sigh.

“Your mom needed a break,” he murmurs. “And I needed...well, I needed this. Just me n’ you.”

Crickets chirp. The stars are peeking through the wispy clouds in the sky. Somewhere, a neighbor’s cat yowls like it’s just as overwhelmed as Suguru by the softness of it all.

After a few more laps and one brief pause where he takes her tiny hand and waves it at the moon, he looks down. She’s out cold, thumb in mouth—peace personified.

He kisses the top of her head. “My beautiful girl.”

When you emerge…

Your skin is soft, your hair smells like vanilla and coconut and you’ve remembered—however briefly—that you are a human being and not just a food source in a mumu.

Each man greets you the same way, in their own particular voice with the baby cuddled close-“She was perfect. Just like you.”

And for the first time in a while, it really does feel like everything is exactly as it should be.

ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚

#jjk #jjk scenarios #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk kento #kento fluff #nanami kento #gojo fluff #satoru gojo x reader #toji fluff #toji fushiguro #higuruma hiromi #hiromi x reader #geto suguru #suguru fluff #stelficz💭

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sanjisprincesswifey · 2 years ago

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romance alphabet ⋆ trafalgar law

summary: what it's like to fall in love with the surgeon of death

a ⋆ affection; how affectionate is he? how does he show his affection?

at the start of the relationship, law almost never shows any affection toward you. he’s helplessly awkward when it comes to lovey-dovey stuff, but after a couple awkward encounters, he’ll gain some confidence and start providing you acts of service.

it’s honestly the little things with law; he’ll bring you a blanket and pillows to nap in his office; he always makes sure you eat, even going as far as to make you meals when you’re hungry; anything you desire, law will provide.

b ⋆ best quality; what's his best quality as a romantic partner and why?

law is an incredible listener. he is always paying attention to what you say no matter the time or place. he always remembers the smallest of details, which of most you didn’t even remember yourself. by knowing every detail about you, it’s his way of showing you how much he cares.

c ⋆ confession; would he confess his feelings first? if so, how would he confess?

lmao no. he’d rather roll over in his grave than tell you he likes you.

the only way you’d find out is through someone else (bepo).

d ⋆ dating; what is it like to date him? how is he as a romantic partner?

in the beginning, it feels as if your relationship is stagnant, nothing really changes from just being friends. until one late night when he asks if you want to see his coin collection or his comic books and it’s like his whole personality does a complete 180 on you, seemingly out of nowhere. suddenly you’re dating a complete nerd who is (un)secretly obsessed with you.

law’s definitely the type to remember all the little things you say, has a journal full of your favorite things, but rarely opts to be overly romantic. he would give you a present that reminds you of someone special to you and treat it as “no big deal.”

all in all, he’s a bit embarrassed to be romantic, but he’s definitely got the spirit.

e ⋆ emotions; how emotional is he with you? does he show his emotions right away or does it take time for him?

you’re lucky if you get a passive aggressive sigh from law for a very long time. he doesn’t start dropping his walls until a couple months to a year, again, if you’re lucky.

poor baby is so afraid to show you any real emotion because of all his unresolved trauma, so just be patient with him.

f ⋆ flirt; how good is he at flirting? does he flirt well or often?

oh my god, no; it’s the opposite in fact. he’s terrible, genuinely terrible.

he’s awkward, stuttery, sweaty, and kinda just stares at you when he can’t get any words out.

on the rare occasion he’s mediocre at it is when he’s drunk and no other time, you cannot convince me otherwise.

g ⋆ gifts; is he a gift giver? what kind of gifts does he enjoy giving you?

yes, but he’s not so much for the pageantry so they’ll be subtle; a new blanket on the bed for you, a framed photo of the two of you suddenly appearing on your nightstand, stuff like that.

h ⋆ hugs; does he hug you a lot? what are his hugs like?

he loves to hug you only when you're in the privacy of his room on the polar tang. he doesn't care much for the affection otherwise, that's what he tells you anyway. you later learn he's just embarrassed to be so romantic otherwise given his reputation.

since law towers over you, he practically throws his body weight into you when you hug. he wraps his arms around your waist, tightly clinging to you as his head droops into your shoulder. the majority of his body weight is now shoved into your shoulder like the big 26-year-old baby he is.

i ⋆ i love you; does he tell you that he loves you first?

again, i have to laugh, but no. maybe subtly, but never, ever directly and he will never say the actual words. he’ll be more ‘romantic’ or whatever his version of romantic is (being more attentive), and then the crew will catch on. law definitely talks about you way too much to the crew and they'll all realize that he loves you before you do.

j ⋆ jealousy; does he get jealous a lot? if so, for what specific reason?

oh, yes; probably one of the most jealous men in all of one piece, in my opinion.

law is deeply insecure, afraid of love, and has abandonment issues and if he feels even a twinge of jealousy it’s like his heart breaks on the sight.

however, it does take a little bit to get him jealous! he’s not threatened by normal interaction, but if someone was a bit too overly affectionate with you (read: luffy, sanji, or eustass), that’s enough to make him jealous. it’s the act of seeing someone be vulnerable with you the exact same way he is with you that drives him nuts.

k ⋆ kisses; what part of you is his favorite to kiss? how often does he enjoy kissing you?

his favorite is any place that’s intimate and vulnerable; being able to claim you as his because no one else gets to touch you where he does.

you can find law in the crux of your neck almost every night, it’s one of his favorite spots because he can practically breathe in your scent and lovingly kiss the area as much as he likes without getting tired.

after your relationship reaches the point where he’s no longer uncomfortable to show affection it’s like every second of the day with him. you wouldn’t think it by the look of him, but law adores kissing you even if it’s a quick kiss to your forehead in passing. it’s kind of his way of showing you love even when you aren't directly saying it and he gets super whiny when you don’t show him the same affection in return.

l ⋆ love language; what’s his love language?

acts of service. law thinks of it as an incognito way to show affection even when he’s around others. it’ll range from throwing a blanket on you when you “accidentally” fall asleep in his office to offering to aid you on specific tasks “just in case.”

m ⋆ memories; what memories of you two are the most precious to them? why do they treasure them?

it has to be the first night he said, ‘i love you.’ it’s after you had fallen asleep in his arms, your light snores echo around the room.

he has an elbow propped up against the pillow holding his head and the other arm draped around you. your bare skin is so warm against him, it was such a strange sensation compared to the cold air that usually envelopes him in his room.

your calm expression twitches slightly indicating that you had to be dreaming and law hopes it was about him.

his gray eyes were so soft; his facial muscles felt so foreign in such a gentle position, but he couldn’t help it when he was holding you so close to him. knowing that the person before him loved him so much.

that meant so much to him because it was the first time in 14 years that law had finally regained the love he had lost so long ago.

n ⋆ nicknames; what nicknames does he prefer to call you, if any at all?

law is such a ‘doll’ kind of guy. it just falls from his lips like butter and he’s so quick to start calling you that too.

o ⋆ on cloud nine; what is he like when he's in love? how different does he act when he's in love?

when law falls in love with you, it is probably the most confusing time in your relationship. it’s kinda like when the grinch’s heart grows three sizes but instead of accepting it, it scares the hell out of him. he’s extremely avoidant of you and won’t explain anything so you gotta corner him in his office.

he’ll get scared, possibly shed a tear or two and tell you just how terrified of love he is. you can’t really blame him, so you tell him you obviously love him too. he turns into such a clingy, obsessive guy after that. he loves having your attention; his walls really come down and he’ll show you all his nerdy collections like comic books and coins.

when law is finally ready to admit that he’s in love with you, he is the softest and most pure a man could be. he’s vulnerable and feels safe with you, so that means he’s extra protective.

p ⋆ pda; does he openly express pda? how affectionate is he in public?

unfortunately, law hates pda. in fact, law is very adamant on keep your relationship personal and private. due to his traumatic past, law chooses to keep you a secret so as to not put you in harm’s way.

though when you make the alliances that law does, he comes to realize that word will get out eventually. law attempts to threaten luffy to keep your relationship under wraps but, c’mon, it’s luffy.

q ⋆ quirks; what are some things you’ve learned about him since being in a relationship?

he’s very particular about everything; he always needs a solution to every problem. for instance, whenever you two have a disagreement, he’ll be unsatisfied until he has a direct solution for your issue and become frustrated if there isn’t one.

because of his particular-ness, when it’s his turn to plan date nights, they are often planned to a t. you will leave a certain time, the activity will take place at a certain time, etc., you think it’s completely adorable even when he’s frustrated when you’re a minute or two behind schedule.

r ⋆ romance; is he a romantic partner? is he cliché or creative?

contrary to popular belief, law can be quite romantic. he’s a ‘flowers just because kind of guy’ and is extremely creative in the gift-giving sentiment.

he opts for purchasing presents you’d actually enjoy, taking his time and putting energy into a photo album or scrapbook. the gestures from law are always well thought out; it’ll always be work he’s proud of.

s ⋆ smooch; what was your first kiss like? where did it happen and was it planned?

your first kiss is something law wishes you didn’t remember. he waited 26 years to kiss someone, did either of you really think he’d be any good at it?

it, of course, was a bit awkward. you never assume someone could mess up a kiss but somehow, he did.

you were in his office, chair placed closely next to his as you read over whatever book he was fixated on this week.

it was late, the both of you were sleep deprived beyond compare, but every time law glanced over at you reading the page he was, he swore his heart jumped out of his chest.

though the kiss itself was not planned, he spent at least 15 minutes mentally calculating if he should make his move.

when he finally mustered up the courage, he turned to you in an awkward position and just kinda stared between your eyes and your lips.

it doesn’t take long for you to notice your boyfriends gawking and before you can ask him if he’s okay he smushes his lips to yours.

of course, having no prior experience, he doesn’t really move his lips at all and just sits there for a couple of seconds until you pull away.

he’s confused, but he’s definitely got the spirit, so you give him some leeway and show him how it’s done.

the both of you laugh about that memory now, but he still feels embarrassed if he thinks about it for too long.

t ⋆ true love; does he believe you were destined to be together?

nope. he doesn’t believe in fate or astrology or anything of the sort but is definitely open to it if you do.

even if doesn’t believe in any spiritual destiny, he constantly finds himself thanking whoever may be up there that he is lucky enough to have you.

u ⋆ ultimatum; what is a dealbreaker in his relationship?

law needs loyalty. he needs to know that you are his and, more importantly, that he is yours. the hardest part about falling in love for him is that he is terrified that you’ll leave him and having your loyalty reassures him (most times anyway) that you’ll always be by his side.

v ⋆ value; how important is the relationship to him? what is it worth in comparison to other things in his life?

okay, don’t shoot the messenger, but at the start of your relationship law didn’t think that highly of it. due to his lack of emotional affection to or from anyone, he honestly saw no important significance for being in a relationship.

in classic law fashion, nothing really changed between you two until he realized how much your absence affected him. the romantic longing in his heart was such an unfamiliar feeling he mistook it for some kind of heart condition.

eventually law comes to realize that, maybe, someone who is as closed off and lonely as he could fall in love and then he is putty in your hands. the minute he knows he loves you, you become his number one priority. he tries to maintain some of his natural disposition, but he is so desperate to be loved by you that he does anything and everything for you.

w ⋆ wild card; a random relationship headcanon!

law is borderline obsessed with you. he’ll know things about you that you don’t even remember telling him. he’s kind of a freak if we’re being honest.

he steals clothes from your room because they smell like you, takes photos of you without your knowledge so that he can keep them for later, and bought your engagement ring the day he knew he loved you.

obviously, he has no intention of ever telling you any of this because he doesn’t need you to know just how desperate he is for you to love him.

law knows that you’re his and either he’s marrying you or he’s dying alone, no other option.

x ⋆ x-factor; what drew him to you?

law loves how different the two of you are. you aren’t opposites by any means, but the way that your emotional intelligence and situational awareness (especially when it comes to such a brooding man such as himself) differ so greatly from his that it entices something within him. he doesn’t consider you the opposite of him, but he views it as what he lacks, you offer.

he knew you had these qualities from the very beginning, that’s why he asked you to join his crew, but seeing how well they transfer over to your relationship made him swoon even more.

y ⋆ yearning; when does his find himself missing you?

though he never prefers to be put in situations that are rambunctious or crazy, law finds himself missing you most when he’s in them. something about having you there, holding his hand or talking to him makes the situation so much better.

z ⋆ zzz; what is his favorite sleeping position? is he the big spoon or the little spoon?

something about spooning always gives law so much comfort. he loves to cling to you, to have you pulled so tight to chest that you can feel his heartbeat through your back.

while the warmth and closeness being the big spoon provides him is extremely comforting, law does prefer to be the little spoon. when you’re as private and apathetic as law is, he’s practically begging to be held by you. since he rarely gets a good night’s sleep, being in your arms is the best melatonin substitute.

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! (✿◠‿◠)

#trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law headcanons #law x reader #one piece #one piece x reader

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1000sunnygo · 1 year ago

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Law's artist side isn't talked about enough, so here's a smooth brain ramble.

He prefers abstract arts over realism. Unlike Kid who forms animal or skull figures with metals, Law creates strange 'sculptures' with his victim's bodies/belongings:

And, of course, the tattoos.

I like how all of his tattoos accentuate the shapes of his torso and arms, especially the joints and muscles. Combined they look like a single stylized drawing of human upper torso.

Seen theories that the tribal style could be a lost trend from Flevance (as seen on the arm of a miner in his flashback), but it could just be his personal style. That said, his upper arm's heart tattoos look similar.

(Something that artists probably noticed long ago but I'm only noticing recently: Law's upper arm's tattoos have been simplified over time. There used to be two spiral-like protrusions, but Oda has been omitting them in later arts)

The "DEATH" tattoos have a straightforward message. According to the Law novel, these were his first tattoos.

Speaking of death, ghosts and spirituality have been implicitly a theme for Law, especially during Dressrosa. Doflamingo referred to Law as Cora's 'vengeful ghost'. Law's (cursed) sword Kikoku's name means 'wailings of a restless ghost". Ironically, Law having a hidden name was also a tradition that related to dead people.

The orange jolly roger (red in the sail) could be many things, I think it's a stylized way of drawing the sun.

Sun symbols are everywhere in the One Piece world. Law's lower arm tattoos are different types of 'suns'. Law might've subconsciously carried those symbols from his hometown for their aesthetic appeal.

The tattoos on the back of his hands reminded me of the church lady's cross, which is slightly different from the cross seen at Kuma's church. It's possible that various faiths in One Piece world are interconnected, leading to a prophecy about the sun god and Dawn. Law, at the very least, believes in the will of D and his own fate being tied to a purpose.

The chest tattoo, clearly a tribute to Corazon, could have some elements of catholicism. Kikoku also has crosses all over its sheath. Originally this wasn't my observation, but Law seeing Cora as a sacred being makes a lot of sense.

Carving a heart at the dead center of his chest by creating small wounds - the process itself reminds of Cora doesn't it

The custom-made Dressrosa coat is another tribute to Corazon, but IMHO he designed it specifically for Doflamingo, as a mockery.

A cross and circle like dangling a pistol target for Doflamingo's shooting practice, with a grinning face copied from Doflamingo's own jolly roger, but it's Corazon. Like his brother has returned to face his pistol again. A vengeful ghost indeed

And boy did it work...

Doflamingo shot it until the mark was completely drenched and unrecognizable.

Assuming he draws for all of his clothes himself, here's this masterpiece:

Or maybe it's gifted by his crew mates. Either way, it's adorable.

Since he's a surgeon (and a comic nerd), he should be skilled at drawing human anatomy. How does he draw realistic arts? Does he doodle while taking notes?

We've seen his handwriting in punk hazard arc and it wasn't particularly stylized. Regardless, it'd be nice to take a proper peek at his notebook.

#law's design appreciation #lmao this tag lives on #I miss Law man #if there's any different interpretation please feel free to share them!#one piece #one piece meta #one piece theory #trafalgar law #trafalgar d. water law #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote rosinante #mine #op meta

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howcomethatthisishappening · 2 years ago

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He’s a nerd. He’s the definition of a nerd.

trafalgar law, 26 years old surgeon and a former warlord, disappointed that a ninja doesn't say nin-nin (and people still think he is cool lol)

#trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #surgeon of death #nerds can be cool though #(definitely not saying that cause i’m a nerd)

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rubedeckillerofficial · 8 months ago

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This is KILLJAM X X X.

~ Logo by Jasper Taylor and Meg Tuten, Logo text by @valdevia ~

The deranged, queer cyberpunk death game audio drama podcast that myself, @machetebisexual, @reignoftiramizu, and @cannibalmukbang have been working on for the last two years.

You can follow it right here on tumblr at @killjamxxx

It features actors who have been in:

The Magnus Archives. (As a Friendly Surgeon Who Cannot Catch A Break)

The Amazing Digital Circus. (As an Enterprising Organ Harvester)

Slay The Princess. (As a Sadistic Superpowered Assassin)

Final Fantasy Seven Remake. (As a Truly Evil Corporate Bastard)

The Mortuary Assistant. (As a Ravenous Wolf Woman)

Lackadaisy. (As a Helpful Murder Nerd)

Dimension 20. (As a Mom-Friend Dominatrix)

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean. (As a Cyborg out for Revenge)

Another Crab’s Treasure. (As a Homicidal Wife Guy)

The Kingmaker Histories. (As a Solipsistic Killer Clown Girl)

Caravan. (As a Guy You’ll Really Want to Punch)

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. (As an Incredible Narrator)

Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead. (As a Stab-Happy Street Punk)

Eeler’s Choice. (As Diabolical German Pawnbroker and a Humanoid Catfish)

Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason. (As a Loan Shark Who Might Be The Devil)

Less Is Morgue. (As a Woman Who Will Drill You To Death)

The NoSleep Podcast. (As The Ghost of a Questionable Father)

The Dead Meat YouTube Channel. (As a Terrifying Robotic Nun)

And that’s not even getting into the SNILF (Snake Milf), the buff lady with the eyepatch, the dorky trans reptile scientist, the charming British thief, or the evil undead Ringmaster.

You can subscribe to KILLJAM X X X on Podbean using this link here. We’re working on getting it on all the major podcatchers, including Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Official trailer drop coming October 31st.

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lillaydee · 6 months ago

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Uncoupled - The Uncoupling

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

---

Joel sat in his truck, biding his time. He’s home, technically, he’d been home for the past 20 minutes. But he couldn’t bring himself to go in, knowing what he was going to see or hear.

To say he had given up was an understatement.

He was so in love with her. He was the lanky, pimpled kid with the birds nest on his head, while she was the chubby, spectacled nerd, both in the school band, both so awkward and anti-social. The two of them were literally inseparable. They were Joel and Jen. They were each other’s first everything. She went to college, he didn’t, not really having the financial means to do so. So he did what he could. Worked construction until he could afford to attend college part time. He managed to get a diploma in education, and now taught woodworking and music at the local school. The income wasn’t much, but it was an honest and a steady income. As soon as he got the job, he proposed to her, and she said yes.

They moved to this town and started their lives together. Their married life was perfect for one year. Exactly one year.

She had surprised him with a promotion on their first wedding anniversary. She was elated, her income increased, and they spent the anniversary dinner dreaming of a better life together. It wasn’t long before her career skyrocketed, climbing the corporate ladder she was on, easily making four times he did. She started working later and later, going outstation more and more often. She got contacts, frequented the gym, got ‘treatments’ at the local surgeons to help make her look more… perky. Tight. Professional. She started dressing differently, getting more and more attention wherever she went. Her personality changed. Gone was the quiet, shy girl that she was, here was the loud, confident woman befitting her role in the company she worked for.

Joel, like most men do, filled out as he got more and more mature. No longer skinny and pimply, the years of construction work buffed him up, though he was never a gym rat. He remained who he was, relying on T-shirts and flannels paired with jeans when going out, his hair a mop on his head. Even in his early 30s, grey hair had started peppering his face and head. He didn’t care. He aged as he was supposed to. As good looking as he was these days, Joel was never the type to dress up.

She used to love his understated look. She used to say he looked his best when he was himself. But since the promotion, everything about him became something for her to critique. Everything he did was wrong, not enough, too much.

As she gained more attention from other men - her colleagues, usually - little by little, her loving calls and texts when working out of town got less frequent. He kept it up, trying to keep the romance alive, but his texts and calls were soon often left unanswered.

It wasn’t long before she got annoyed with his ‘incessant’ texts and calls. She’s working, stop bothering her. He’s living in the nice house and driving a nice brand-new truck because of her income. And to continue making that income, she had to do this. Travel for work, work late when she was at the office. Live with it. God knows his measly income from the school wasn’t going to cut it.

He started working for his brother Tommy, making custom furniture as a side income, putting that part of his income aside to spoil her. He was making the effort to contribute evenly, anything to make her happy. He took her on vacations, only for her to complain about how the vacations weren’t fancy enough. The hotels she stayed at during her work trips were much fancier than this, she told him once.

Pretty soon, nothing was good enough. She started complaining that he wasn’t working enough, despite him spending his days working, both at school and Tommy’s workshop after, coming home sore and tired to a cold, dirty and empty house. She worked late too, she told him. If he wanted to come home to a clean house and a home-cooked meal, maybe make more money so she could stay at home.

Sex? What’s that? A piece of furniture?

They had a joint account. He had to put in 80% of his pay into it to match her contributions, just to pay for the house, the car, the bills. Still, it wasn’t enough. When his mother came into town for Tommy’s wedding, he offered her the guestroom rather than waste money on a hotel. His wife spent the entire week Anita was there not talking to her at all, not shy about showing the kind elderly lady she had known most of her life how much of an inconvenience she was. His mother left town broken hearted, her daughter-in-law no longer the sweet, caring girl she knew way back when.

And then one day, a few minutes after she got in an Uber for a work trip, he received a text from her. Texts from her were so rare those days he was so shocked to hear her tone come out of his phone. So he read the text as soon as he received it.

‘I’m on my way to the airport. Should be at the hotel by six. You’d better be naked when I get there. Cannot wait to ride you ‘til dawn.’

It was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown at him. Tommy’s wife Maria saw his frozen reaction, immediately looking over his shoulder to see what was going on. She immediately screenshotted the text, just in time, it seemed; the text was deleted seconds later. He didn’t hear from her at all the entire two weeks she was out of town.

When she got home, she asked him to sit down and laid it all to him. Might as well tell him now, she said. She’s no longer attracted to him. She had discovered the joys of sex with other people. She had never enjoyed her life like that, he was the only one she’d ever been with. He was all she knew. She liked this side of her, the one that was free to explore. She was not going to give this side of herself up. So he had two choices. One, to agree to an open relationship. Two, divorce.

He didn’t know why he did it, but he agreed to option one. He rationalized that perhaps, deep down, he was still in love with her. That the girl he fell in love with was still in there somewhere. Maybe she would resurface one day. So he endured her going out every day with the few men she had always done this with. Openly, this time. She seemed less angry with him. And for whatever reason, he took it all, hoping that she would see reason one day, that once everything was out of her system, he would have his wife back.

He was never interested in the open marriage concept, not interested to engage in it, even though technically he was allowed to partake. But he was a one-woman man. Even if the woman he was married to did not feel the same way.

The arrangement was simple. She set out rules for this open relationship thing herself. In her own words, she was not supposed to talk about it with him. She was not supposed to have emotional connections with the men. She was not supposed to sleep with anyone he knew. She was not supposed to bring anyone home. She was supposed to use protection.

And yet, she had thrown out every single rule she had established herself.

She told him every time she was leaving for a date with so and so. She came home raving about how good they were in bed compared to him. She spent her free time at home swooning and smiling at her phone, openly sending these men nudes and selfies. She taunted him that she may have developed a certain something with one man more than the others. She kicked him out of his own bedroom when he found some other man’s drawers under his pillow and confronted her with it.

She told him to get tested, for she might have contracted something. Despite never having touched him in years. She just wanted him to know she had let other men fuck her bare.

And here was where Joel ended up, five years into his marriage. After 15 years together. In his truck, arriving home just as she did, with Max, the guy she’d been seeing far too regularly. Joel knew him. He worked above her. Made more money than her. More than him, that’s for sure. He was married too, he had seen Max with you at work stuff, way before this whole thing happened. He wondered if you knew. He wondered if he should tell you. Such a shame. He remembered Max bragging about you then. He remembered thinking you were far too sweet and gentle to be with such a loud and brash man.

But he kept this thought to himself. Opposites attract, all that. None of his business.

His wife had taken her fuckbuddy to the bed they used to share, knowing he was going to be home soon.

There was no more love for him. There was no more respect for him. There was no consideration for his feelings.

In fact, he’s now convinced she hated him. For what, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

He was done.

**********

You sat in your car, biding your time. You’ve been parked next door for the last 20 minutes. But you couldn’t bring yourself to knock on the door, knowing what you were going to see or hear.

To say you had given up was an understatement.

You were so in love with him. You were the skinny, short, pimpled kid with the dark mess of hair on your head, while he was the gangly, spectacled nerd, both in the science club, both so awkward and anti-social. The two of you were literally inseparable. You were Max and Lily. You were each other’s first everything. He went to college, you didn’t, not really having the financial means to do so. So you did what you could. Worked a bakery until you could afford to attend college part time. You managed to get a diploma in business management, and now owned a sweet little bakery of your own in town. The income was alright, but it was no match to Max’s corporate income. He proposed to you as soon as he got a job. And you said yes.

You moved into this town and started your lives together. Your married life was perfect for one year. Exactly one year.

His personality changed, rapidly so. He needed to change, he told you. His livelihood depended on it. It would be an advantage if he was more out there. He started going to the gym, he started using products, wearing branded clothes. He networked. He went to parties and met new people.

He was right. This new personality carried him up the corporate ladder. Soon, he was bringing in easily ten times what you were. He started working later and later, going outstation more and more often.

You were not as skinny as you were in school. You plumped up a bit, as most people do when they get older. But you were… normal sized, you’d say. Perhaps a little thicker here and there, thanks in part to the fact that you spent your days concocting cakes and desserts for people. Someone had to sample them, right? And you didn’t work in an office, so jeans and shirts and blouses, those were your go-to. Hair in a manageable ponytail to keep them off your face as you worked.

He used to love your simple look. He used to say you looked your best when you were being yourself. But since the first promotion, that first gala he brought you to, everything about you became something for him to critique. Everything you did was wrong, not enough, too much.

You were not dressed fancy enough. You didn’t put enough make up. You didn’t wear the heels he asked you to wear. You didn’t wear the Skins, or Skims, or whatever it was he called that far too small bathing suit thing he bought you. You could hardly put your leg in the hole. He was embarrassed that your tummy was not as flat as it should be.

So you started running. Every morning. You toned up a bit. But nope. It was not enough. Nothing was ever enough.

He used to love your cooking. Now, every time you cooked for him or packed something for him, you were trying to make him fat. Just like you. Never mind that your BMI was completely within the normal range. Never mind that you were a healthy adult who would rather eat three healthy meals a day. Nope. You were not what the wife of someone with his calibre should look like.

Soon, he was home less and less. He travelled for work a lot. You tried to keep the romance alive, but your texts and calls were soon often left unanswered.

It wasn’t long before he got annoyed with your ‘incessant’ texts and calls. He’s working, stop bothering him. You’re living in the nice house and driving a nice brand-new car because of his income. And to continue making that income, he had to do this. Travel for work, work late when he was at the office. Live with it. God knows your measly income from the bakery wasn’t going to cut it.

Pretty soon, nothing was worth his time. He started complaining that you were an albatross hanging around his neck. You tried so hard to please him. Your house was always spotless, his clothes pressed and crisp, his meals prepared. But all went unnoticed. You would be lucky if he would wear something you pressed, ate something you made. He worked late, he told you. Had fancy dinners at Michelin starred restaurants. Why would he eat your food? The dry cleaners did a better job than you. And oh, you missed a spot there on the kitchen counter.

Sex? What’s that? A piece of pie?

You had a joint account. You had to put in 80% of your income into it to equal half his contributions, just to pay for the house, the car, the bills. Still, it wasn’t enough. When your one and only brother came into town to shop for his wedding, you offered him the guestroom rather than waste money on a hotel. Max spent the entire week Eddie was there not talking to him at all, not shy about showing the man who used to fend off his bullies for him how much of an inconvenience he was. Eddie left town angry, his brother-in-law no longer the sweet, caring person he knew way back when.

You never went on holidays, you could never afford to pay your share of the extravagant ones he took by himself, so you stayed home while he sunbathed in Bali and the Caribbean.

And then one day, when he was out of town for a work trip, you received a text from him. It was a picture of his Johnson, standing up to attention in a hotel room a thousand miles from where you were, a text accompanying it.

‘He’s all prepped and ready, waiting for you to ride him ‘til dawn.’

It was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown all over you. You immediately screenshotted the text, just in time, it seemed; the text was deleted seconds later. You didn’t hear from him at all the entire two weeks he was out of town.

When he got home, he asked you to sit down and laid it all to you. Might as well tell you now, he said. He’s no longer attracted to you. He had discovered the joys of sex with other people. He had never enjoyed his life like that, you were the only one he’d ever been with. You were all he knew. He liked this side of himself, the one that was free to explore. He was not going to give this up. So you had two choices. One, to agree to an open relationship. Two, divorce.

You didn’t know why you did it, but you agreed to option one. You rationalized that perhaps, deep down, you were still in love with him. That the boy you fell in love with was still in there somewhere. Maybe he would resurface one day. So you endured him going out every day with the few women he had always done this with. Openly, this time. He seemed less angry with you. And for whatever reason, you took it all, hoping that he would see reason one day, that once everything was out of his system, you would have your husband back.

You were never interested in the open marriage concept, not interested to engage in it, even though technically you were allowed to partake. But you were a one-man woman. Even if the man you were married to did not feel the same way.

The arrangement was simple. He set out rules for this open relationship thing himself. In his own words, he was not supposed to talk about it with you. He was not supposed to have emotional connections with the women. He was not supposed to sleep with anyone you knew. He was not supposed to bring anyone home. He was supposed to use protection.

And yet, he had thrown out every single rule he had established himself.

He told you every time he was leaving for a date with so and so. He came home bragging about how good they were in bed compared to you. He spent his free time at home swooning and smiling at his phone, openly sending these women nudes and selfies. He taunted you that he may have developed a certain something with one woman more than the others. He kicked you out of your own bedroom when you found a pair of bras under your pillow and confronted him about them.

He told you to get tested, for he might have contracted something. Despite never having touched you in years. He just wanted you to know he fucked other women bare.

And here was where you ended up, five years into your marriage. After 15 years together. In your car, after following him all day. And there he was, exiting his car with Jen, the woman he’d been seeing far too regularly. You knew her. She worked under him. Made more money than you, that’s for sure. She was married too, you had seen Jen with Joel, her husband, at work stuff, way before this whole thing happened. You wondered if he knew. You wondered if you should tell him. Such a shame. You remembered Jen bragging about Joel then. You remembered thinking he was far too sweet and gentle to be with such a loud and brash woman.

But you kept this thought to yourself. Opposites attract, all that. None of your business.

He had taken her to the bed you used to share, knowing you were going to find out. And now, he had joined her in her bed, the bed she shared with her husband.

There was no more love for you. There was no more respect for you. There was no consideration for your feelings.

In fact, you’re now convinced he hated you. For what, exactly, you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know.

You were done.

**********

You saw him first. He drove up just as Max and Jen were entering the house. He sat in his truck, not really reacting to what he just came home to. Oh, your heart broke for him. Sure, you were in the same boat, but you were not the one watching the person who promised to have and to hold you ‘til death do you part walk into your marital home with someone else.

So he knew. He didn’t look defeated at all. Just… resigned. In fact, if you were to describe how you looked right about now, you’d say you had the exact same look too. You were not sad. You were not angry. You were just… done.

Shit, he saw you. Shit. Should you drive off? Hide? What? You busied yourself looking at your phone, browsing for exactly… nothing.

A knock on your slightly opened window made you jump. Of course he came over. You lowered your window further, giving him an awkward smile. Hi, Joel, right? I’m… He knew your name. Of course he did, the same way you knew his. He asked if you’d like to join him outside. You happily unlocked the door and opened it, the summer was roasting you alive even with the windows open. You just thought waiting for your husband to finish banging his mistress was stealthier with the engines off.

He leaned on your passenger door, arms crossed. You did the same. Both of you released a long deep breath.

“I thought I was gonna have to tell you.”

“I thought I was gonna have to tell you,” you countered.

You both released a huff of unamused laughter.

“What are you going to do, Joel?”

“My bags are all packed, just waiting for them to finish.” His resignation was evident. “You?”

“Same here. Bags in the trunk. I was going to just leave, but I wonder if he’d even notice. So I thought I’d let him know.”

“Yep. If I died in that guest bedroom, she wouldn’t notice unless the neighbours complain about the smell and call the cops.”

You both looked at your own feet for a few minutes.

“Are you okay?” you both asked each other, followed by sad smiles from both of you. Of course you were not okay. But this would be better than staying in a relationship where you were obviously not wanted.

“Talked to a lawyer yet?”

“Yeah,” he scratched his nose. “What’s with the one-year legal separation before you divorce bullshit?”

You shrugged, rolling your eyes, “I know right? As if we’re too dumb to make up our own minds?”

Both of you scoffed, shaking your heads in disbelief.

“Where would you be staying ‘til then?” you asked him.

“My brother and his wife’s, for a while, then maybe look for a place. I don’t know how, everything’s so expensive these days. Maybe it’s time to live in a van.”

You laughed, nodding in understanding. You were shocked at how much rent was these days. No way you would be able to afford a place on your own, not unless your bakery magically sprouted elves that help bake endlessly and you open 24/7. You had Tess and Frank helping you at the bakery though, they were basically your lifesavers through this all. And of course, Eddie. Even if he’s hundreds of miles away.

“How about you?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m gonna camp in my office for a while. I own a little bakery in town, and my office would have to do until my brother moves here. He’s coming in a couple of weeks. He just bought a three bedroomed house, he and his wife were kind enough to let me stay with them, so long as I agree to babysit my niece every once in a while.”

“You own a bakery? Which one?”

“Lil Beans? Just at the edge of town, right before you get to the school?”

“Oh, my God. You own that place? I live for that rice pudding you sell! I must’ve bought like a thousand of them!”

You laughed, nodding, a bit proud that he loved that pudding. Your neighbour growing up was a Turkish family, you told him. The grandma made that pudding a lot, and you did not waste time learning from her. Well, thanks to her, his pants were a bit snug now, he told you.

The two of you laughed, forgetting the reason you were standing there for a split second.

Of course, you were snapped back into reality when the front door to his house opened. Joel whispered a good luck to you, before going inside, Jen following him, screaming profanities at him for embarrassing her in front of Max like this.

Max came to you in a robe, barefoot, his face like thunder, asking you what in the goddamned hell were you doing? It’s not enough you embarrassed him all his adult life now you want to embarrass him in front of the woman he loved?

“No, Max, I just came to give you this,” you handed him the house keys. You only took your important belongings, not wanting anything else – especially since he paid for most of them. You didn’t even take the fancy outfits, make-up and heels you didn’t like wearing, or those Skins things. Just your simple clothes, books and some of your pots and pans.

To your surprise, his expression was one of shock.

“You can’t be serious. You’re leaving me? Why?”

You rolled your eyes. “We have to be legally separated for a year before we even file for divorce, so you’ll be hearing from my lawyer. I don’t want anything, Max. I just want out. Goodbye Max. I hope you have a good life.”

You turned and got back into your car, leaving your stunned husband standing there, a look of disbelief on his face. Before you could even start your engine, the front door of Joel and Jen’s house opened again, Joel exiting with a huge traveller’s backpack and two suitcases. Jen was screaming at him as he placed those items in the bed of his truck, before going back to the garage door, taking two small boxes and a guitar case with him.

Jen’s screaming suddenly stopped.

“You can’t be serious. You’re leaving me? Why?” she shrieked.

Joel said something to her, you were too far to hear, but you were sure it was in the same tune as what you had said to Max, because she started begging him to stay, getting on her knees and taking hold of his leg. He gently lifted her up, before getting in his truck, shut the door and locked it. He must have, because she started trying to pry the door open, without any luck.

You put your seatbelt on and started the car, locking the door and putting the windows up. Max seemed to have been snapped out of his stupor of watching his mistress beg her husband into staying and began pounding at your window too.

“Wait,” he pleaded, “Lily, please, you agreed to this, remember? I’m not cheating on you. You can’t leave, I never hid anything from you. Lily, please baby, stop, please!”

You drove away, leaving him standing in the driveway of the house next door, giving Joel a little beep as you passed him. He followed you immediately, Max and Jen running after your vehicles for a bit before the hot tarred road got too much for their shoeless feet.

You got to the junction at the end of the road and turned left towards your bakery, a beep from Joel saying goodbye to you as he turned right, both of you off to start a new life without the person you once thought you were going to spend the rest of your lives with.

---

July

#joel miller x reader #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x you #roommate Joel Miller

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melancholitas · 1 year ago

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The Polar Tang being named like that is actually so hilarious, tbh.

There couldn't be any better name for a vessel carrying around a pirate doctor.

Tangs come in many different shapes and colors, but the yellow one is also dubbed "somber surgeon fish"

If that's not befitting for a certain captain, I don't even know what is.

Even his crew's names are marine.

It's like Law pulls science puns in every breath he takes.

Combined with a giant declaration of "fuck you"s in the name of his dead guardian.

All while nerding out to the max.

Publicly.

And he has absolutely zero shame about that.

With all the decor he basically called his sub "sturgeon of death".

... I'm shedding tears---

#one piece #polar tang #trafalgar law #heart pirates #trafalgar law is a meme #trafalgar law is a huge nerd #sturgeon of death

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purplehairedwonder · 7 months ago

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I am all up in my feels about the first chapter from the new Law novel. (I read a translation here.) General reactions under the cut for spoilers:

This seems to be taking place fairly early into the Heart Pirates' career, as we start out with just the OG Four on the crew. And Hakugan is the first recruit.

Law already has a bounty of 80 million berries, and he has his epithet of "Surgeon of Death." Chalic also says he's going to take the title of Strongest in the North Blue from Law. Again, when the Hearts are still just four strong.

Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin originally all wore orange jumpsuits. It was Bepo's idea, and Shachi and Penguin were all in. Law is too particular about his own fashion so won't wear one (😂), but he's fine leaving the others to it to create a sense of unity in the crew. They're very proud of their jumpsuits!

We get one of my favorite tropes: Devil Fruit users going into the water. This, apparently, is the impetus for the Hearts to take on their sea-based combat abilities; they want to not only take on ships from above and below the surface but always be ready if Law goes into the water again. They love Law so much. I cry.

Hakugan is the one to rescue Law from the water, and he does it because he thought Law looked like a "hero of justice." Law scoffs because pirates are hardly "heroes of justice," but he also doesn't hate it either because it makes him think of, amusingly, of Sora (Law, you nerd), but also his parents. 😭

Law goes out of his way to help Hakugan and some fellow villagers who were kidnapped by a defeated pirate crew by bringing them home. Law says it's because he owes Hakugan for saving his life ("Life is give and take," which he learned from Wolf), but Hakugan calls him on it. Law, your kindness is showing again.

Law originally had a graded sword, Koshou, but it broke during his fight with Chalic, and he only had the hilt after going in the water. He's pretty heartbroken about losing the sword. Oh, Law. Always having what you love ripped from you.

When they reach Hakugan's home island (Welbems Island), it has nice weather, so Penguin and Shachi change into Aloha shirts. Hilarious, and also clearly a nod to Wolf.

Law, thinking of Corazon and Wolf, also refuses to let Hakugan (who wears his mask because he has a severe burn on his face from rescuing an old woman and her daughter from a fire) avoid visiting the village chief. He even ruffles Hakugan's hair at one point and encourages him. Softie.

Law spends the whole chapter trying to warn civilians that they are pirates and probably dangerous, and everyone looks at them and goes

Hakugan's parents were killed by pirates who are in control of part of the island, and Hakugan wants to avenge them. Law tells him not to get obsessed with revenge. Trafalgar Literal Hearts on His Sleeve Law. He does, at least, recognize his own hypocrisy as his desire for revenge just keeps growing.

Hakugan has a little sister, Nanagi, who reminds Law of Lami, and he teases her, which feels nostalgic. Just rip my heart out, why don't you. Nanagi gives Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin nicknames but just calls Law by his name; they have a little rivalry going, and it's adorable.

The Hearts spend three days at Hakugan's house, and Law spends his vacation reading medical books and practicing swordsmanship. Giant. Nerd.

Law actually laughs quite a few times in this chapter. There are a lot of really wonderful little character moments showcasing how close the OG Four really are.

Looks like Law will meet Kikoku next chapter.

It's been way too long since Law appeared in the manga, so it's good to get some fresh Law content. That was a lot of fun, and I'm excited for the next chapter!

#Trafalgar Law #Shachi #Penguin #Best boi Bepo #Hakugan #Heart Pirates #One Piece #One Piece spoilers #Kinda

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doodleferp · 2 months ago

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The Callie/Vergil Brainrot

I am bagging both of the Sparda twins and nobody can stop me. A lot of these are attempts to fill in the gaps in Vergil’s backstory and aren’t necessarily reflections of how he felt in the canon. A lot of this takes place before Devil May Cry 3.

These brainrots can apply the OG games and the reboot game. I’m not quite sure about the Netflix series yet, we’ll have to wait for Season 2 before I make any big decisions about that.

——————————

Potential triggers include canon-typical violence, death, cheating, references to underage sex

As previously mentioned in the Dante post, Callie and the twins are 2 1/2 weeks apart and they grew up together for the first eight years of their lives. Vergil had a bit of a contradictory relationship with Callie as a child. He was happy that Dante wouldn’t be bothering him while she was there and then he could read his books in peace. But that became boring pretty fast when he saw that they were, in fact, having a great time without him.

That all changed when the fire happened. As it turns out, Callie’s mother Fran had a really sinking feeling that something was wrong with Eva and decided to drive out to the house to see her. She found the bloodied Vergil when she arrived at the house, and, after learning Eva and Sparda were dead, took Vergil in as her foster son. I think it would be interesting if Vergil and Dante ended up having opposite childhoods after the fire and ended up having opposite personalities to the way in which they were raised. Vergil has an upbringing with a loving foster family, but he refuses to properly work through his trauma and becomes hard.

Before they could be left home alone, Callie and Vergil would get to hang out in the hospital's daycare. But when that became boring, they snuck off and wandered around like children often do. I want to believe that Vergil stole the code to the research library so they could look at all the books. Boy, oh boy, were they in trouble when they got found out.

Fran waited until she felt like Vergil was okay to interact with people before she sent him to school with Callie. She couldn't continue the education he was getting from his parents due to her being both a surgeon and a human, so it was off to public school for him. Vergil was the kid who was super scary smart and played by himself at recess and pretended the other kids didn't exist. He would practice swordplay by himself at the far edges of the playground and Callie eventually wormed her way into it. Every recess, they would be going at each other with big-ass sticks that keep breaking, much to Vergil's frustration. So they start stashing sticks in places so they won't have to go looking for them when it happens. The teachers were mildly concerned but they knew Vergil was...different, so they just kept an eye on them to make sure they didn't take each other's eyes out. Then one day, Callie found a discarded pipe and annihilated Vergil in the stomach with demon strength she didn't know she had. Then the principal forbade them from stick-fighting again.

Come high school, Vergil and Callie ended up forming a romantic relationship. This short-lived romance mirrored my own high school romance. They were a sexless, moderately-affectionate couple who moved like a pair of lesbian tortoises and looked like best friends to anyone who hadn't seen them kiss. They talked a lot about poetry and Shakespeare and all the classical English lit stuff because Callie was a nerd in high school and lived on that shit. It got to the point where Vergil was not only anticipating doing her English homework with her, but Callie was actively photocopying her homework and giving it to him so they could do it together. Imagine two kids sitting on the floor of the living room coloring in coloring books except it's two teenagers writing about the symbolism of Beowulf or the greater themes of the god's eyes in The Great Gatsby. Grades be goddamned, the teachers would have loved to read Vergil's interpretation of Gatsby. And you know what? Dante did. Because Callie’s broken-hearted tenth-grade ass saved that shit. Vergil's ramblings about Beowulf, The Great Gatsby, A Midsummer Night's Dream and To Kill A Mockingbird are all saved in her mom's place.

The worst thing that may have come from Vergil's high school days was Vergil taking out a few agro varsity athletes without even unsheathing his sword because it was the 90s. But the effect Vergil had on the student body was insane. I'll go into detail in a separate post, but the emos and the goths were foaming at the mouth for him. He was an ice-cold drink of water with an unbreakable poker face, some mad drip, and a katana. He was their Emo Jesus. Many a girl had pictures of him in their lockers and he inspired a trend of dressing up in trench coats and cravats.

I think they had Game Night at Fran's post-divorce apartment bc she needs a little time with her kids due to her busy schedule and Vergil gets really into it. He dominates Scrabble and he always gets unnecessarily offended during card games. There wasn't a Monopoly incident, because this family isn't stupid. There was, however, a Sorry! incident wherein Vergil cut the board and the table in half after one of his pieces was sent back to Start. He actually refuses to feel bad about it and feels he was justified.

Nero is….a touchy issue. Callie ended up being more of a parent to Nero than Vergil ever was, but it was hard for her to come around and accept his existence for a bit. Vergil was the love of her teenage life, and knowing that he had slept with someone behind her back, after she'd given so much to him, devastated her. She doesn't put anything on Nero for it, it's just...it was hard for her to look at him for a while. He looks so much like his dad, after all.

Since Callie was also an important part of Vergil's childhood, I really want to play around with the way she would disrupt Nelo Angelo's brainwashing. I think Mundus orders her to be captured for the first game, and Nelo Angelo abducts her while she's on her way back from the hospital. There's this feeling that comes over him when he looks at her. He knows she's important, he's drawn to her -- he just doesn't know why. And when he hears her shout for Dante, reaching out to Dante when he arrives, it awakens this fury inside him.

Going into DMC 5 territory, I'm still playing around with how V, Urizen and the Nightmares viewed Callie. As of right now, my ideas for them revolves around my interpretation of Urizen as Vergil's passionate side and V as Vergil's logical side. Kind of like the Skeksis and the Uru from The Dark Crystal. V recognizes Callie on a superficial level -- he knows she's important to Vergil and to him by proxy, he just doesn't have the feelings attached to the memories he has of her. Meanwhile, Urizen immediately feels a deep affection for Callie when she inevitably rolls up to do battle with him, so he doesn't take her seriously as a threat. Their battle is not about eliminating a threat to his power, but asserting his dominance as the proper mate.

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