#taekey angst

[somaybeimbiased]

Domestic Taekey | Heartbroken

a/n This takes place right after Kibum cheated on Taemin when they were younger (read about it in Scrapbooks )

We don't want our hearts to break in two

       Partying like he had been over the past few months wasn’t apart of Taemin’s plan. Who wanted to spend the end of his senior year either drunk, high, or hungover? But for Taemin, it was his only way to cope. The alcohol made him forget, the weed made him numb, every one night stand and hookup he had made him feel wanted, and being hungover was just a way to distract himself from the pain in his heart. Kibum cheating had left such a large hole in him that he didn’t know if he would ever be happy again.  He’d spent a whole month locked up in his room apart from school after that night. He cut off all their mutual friends apart from Jongin and the occasional ranting phone call to Jinki while he was sad drunk.He ignored every call and text he got from Kibum, and he was glad when slowly the calls stopped and the text frequency dwindled. He was content with his new life, because he could have fun and forget everyone who hurt him.

Rule #1: You gotta have fun.

He was hurt.

He was angry.

He was devastated.

He was broken.

One of his favorite people has gone and done something he didn’t know if he could ever forgive.

How could Kibum cheat? And right before Taemin was due to start school at the same university. He accepted the dinky college scholarship for Kibum. What does a 17 year old do when his love ripped his heart out?

He parties, goes out, forgets about the pain.

Life is too short to spend it grieving over a relationship that meant nothing to the other person. Kibum was Taemin’s first real love. Kibum had been who Taemin wanted forever with. He craved to be with Kibum, but if Kibum didn’t want him. Didn’t see him as good enough, who was Taemin to stop him from leaving?

Alcohol and Weed ran through his veins, late night parties at abandoned warehouses, and racing their cars along  dirt roads and hiding in the bushes from the cops. This is what his life had become post-Kibum.

Rule #2: Don't get attached to somebody you could lose.

He doesn’t let himself get blackout drunk this often. It was his 18th birthday, he had just graduated, and he was finally free of that shitty school that held so many bittersweet memories.

He stumbled through the warm living room of his best friend’s house, winding around other people to get to the dancefloor. His plastic cup was clutched in one hand and his phone was in the other. He was on his fourth drink, two more than he usually needed to get drunk. He was too small to have a decent alcohol tolerance, so he was already gone for the night.

He was looking for someone to hookup with, someone who wouldn’t mind him leaving before the morning. Some called him a player, others a slut. It all depended on who he was going to hookup with that night.

He spotted a thin guy, probably around his age across the room from him. The guy had sandy brown hair and pale skin and Taemin thought he looked perfect to have for the night.

He made his way over and made eye contact with the boy who grinned devilishly as soon as Taemin drew closer.

“Lee Taemin.” the boy said in an arrogant voice. “Zach, right?” Taemin questioned, sipping his drink. He was hooking up tonight.

Rule #3 Wear your heart on your cheek, but never on your sleeve unless you wanna taste defeat

Being cruel to his old friends wasn’t easy. But he had to hide the hurt, hide everything from them. He would fall into a depression if he didn’t supplement Kibum’s void with temporary happiness, he would lose himself completely. Not telling and now showing people how messy he was on the inside was part of the facade. On the inside he was a young kid who lost the only person he could ever actually see himself loving truly. He was a boy who has gotten his heart ripped out and set on fire. He threw away his hopes of being a famous dancer to he close to the one he loved, so he lost everything at once. He felt so lonely and broken. And the only people who knew were Jongin and Jinki. They were the only ones telling Taemin’s previous friends how he was.

Rule #4 Gotta be lookin’ pure. Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more

He tried dating after a few months of recklessness over his last semester of high school. Maybe going on dates rather than just sleeping with someone could make Taemin release the void that still sat in his heart and weighed on his stomach.

Summer is a great season for dates; bike riding, picnics, movies in the park. But that didn’t help Taemin at all. He realized that more people liked him without the party boy facade, however he also realized that he was leading these boys on when they went on dates. He’d drop them at their house and if they were lucky he’d give them a kiss on the cheek. But he never contacted them after the first date. No  one was Kibum, and no one could break the emotional walls he had built after Kibum. A/N I know I haven’t written in a hot minute. But I’m going through a breakup with a horrible guy and I’m really reckless feeling at the moment so I wrote about being reckless instead of being reckless. I hope to write more soon becuase I’ll be moving back home in like 2 weeks~ 

Read more of my work on my Masterlist

[smtown-tourist]

The most millennial thing I have ever seen is Taemin being 30 years old and still going through his angsty teenager phase

[onthighsbelongtotaemin]

The Covenants of Fate

II. Kibum The Covenants of Fate AU / AO3 Pairings: Kibum/Taemin, Minho/Jongin POV: Taemin, Kibum Summary: Omegas do not form love bonds with omegas. A/N: Remember how in the last chapter I set up a whole storyline that demands that Eunsook & Taemin get together?  That they absolutely have to?  #plottwist. 

*10 years later*

Taemin watches Jongin run out to Minho as he comes up the walkway.  He blinks into the sunlight as his brother runs into his soul bond’s arms.  

Less than two weeks have passed since the solstice and less than two remain until the anniversary of Jongin’s birth and their Ceremony of Intention: Minho is now of age for bonding but Jongin is only old enough to become Intended.  He watches as Minho swings Jongin around through the air, the pair laughing, and when he puts him back down they each take a dizzying step back.  Taemin watches a moment more before he steps back inside.

 They follow him in and soon the three of them are sitting at the table with steaming cups of mulled cider, Jongin’s hand holding Minho’s and their eyes only for each other.  Taemin has begun playing the role of chaperon during Minho’s visits and he doesn’t quite understand why, doesn’t quite resent it, but isn’t quite pleased with it either.  

The chair that sits empty beside him, always empty, or the one that sits empty between himself and Jongin when he feels disinterested in his role, seems even more obvious than it should be.  Only a chair, a simple piece of furniture, it so often seems to be waiting for someone, that it knows a secret that Taemin is being kept in the dark of, and all he really knows is that there is a part of himself that feels sad, maybe even empty, when he sees how full Jongin is when he’s with Minho.  

Even when he sees how Minho is when he’s with Jongin.

Even when he doesn’t see them at all.

~

Kibum arrives to his cousin’s home a day early and full of anticipation.  At the last moment his grand dam had been unable to travel with him and so he had taken the journey alone, his first such ever.  Minho’s sire, dam, and elder brother are as warm as Kibum remembers, though Minho himself is even more excitable than usual, grabbing him up in an embrace so tight Kibum’s arms begin to ache.

It hadn’t been that long ago that he had spent his summers being chased by his elder cousin and best friend in games that left Minho grinning and Kibum disgruntled.

The Chois’ summer home sits on the edge of an enormous emerald lake that sparkles in the afternoon sun and Kibum’s grand dam took him there to visit Minho’s grand dam when the heat of their tiny village became oppressive.

They are Kibum’s only other family besides his grand dam, and a distant alpha cousin who stepped in when needed.  And while Minho’s sire always smiled at him coolly, an alpha who held mild affection for an omega child not their own, and his dam and alpha brother only slightly warmer, Minho grabbed him up in his arms and grinned at him as though they were best friends from the day they met.

And soon, they were.

Year after year he looked forward to those visits, the freedom of youth leaving him nearly unaware of their status as alpha and omega children.  They would forget as soon as they were alone, and remember as soon as they were with their guardians, Minho’s sire quick to remind them with sharp eyes and a raised brow.

As they got older, their freedoms grew less, though their affections never wavered, and Minho was always Kibum’s best friend.  

Outside of summer visits, letters were constantly exchanged, and while Kibum always knew who and what Jongin was, it was with a bit a twinge of something he didn’t recognize to read the minute changes in the way Minho wrote about him.

Of course, he teased him relentlessly for it.

And then, suddenly, Minho stopped writing.  

For over a month, Kibum waited for a letter, sending out five of his own, frustrated by his grand dam’s refusal to allow him access to the communication pad, only a soft, “Give him time” whispered with a wrinkled hand rubbed soothingly at his back and squeezing his own when he protested.  He pressed his thumb to his lip so hard that he left a mark that chapped and needed ointment.

And then, just as suddenly, Minho started writing.

His best friend’s first rut had taken him by surprise, though it shouldn’t have, and Kibum was himself startled to realize he hadn’t been paying attention to the calendar either.  If Minho had gone into rut then he himself would be going into heat within less than two years.  The thought had something cold settling into his chest and the next time Minho called it was his turn to not accept.

Eventually, equilibrium was found and they answered each other’s letters, a new topic weaving its way into their conversation; heats and ruts and bonds and all that that meant.

And suddenly everything they had never had to face as children, all the reasons the guardians had watched them with such sharp eyes, made sense.  Kibum had never felt his omega status so acutely as he did now, and he had shivered when he had realized that despite his desire for young, for a mating bond, he was relieved to not be tied to an alpha.

He had stopped cold when he had realized that he shouldn’t be.

Now, three years later, they visit well into the night and, when they can no longer keep awake, Kibum is sent to a lower-level apartment separated from the others: An omega of distant blood relation in a house with an unbound, though Covenanted alpha would need to be kept apart, if only for appearances.

He expects he’ll be introduced to his cousin’s Covenanted the next day but is disappointed to learn they will not meet until the ceremony itself.

“Tradition,” Minho explains with a shrug.

Instead, his cousin spends the day taking him around the city and teasing him about his sheltered village life and elbowing him every time Kibum becomes flushed with excitement over a technology unknown to him, such as the doors that slide open just by their approach.

When the time comes to prepare for the ceremony, Kibum fidgets with the button of his silk tunic.  It’s not his own, a gift from Minho’s dam that makes him uneasy in its finery and implications.  

“Finally, I get to meet your beloved Jongin,” he says with a tease.  He pulls at the tunic’s collar pressing against his throat, twisting his head from side to side, watching his reflection in the mirror.  His eyelashes flutter as he rolls his eyes when Minho’s dreamy, “Yes” floats from behind him.  

Kibum has put great effort into his appearance for his cousin’s Ceremony of Intention.  The aqua silk tunic and pants gifted by Minho’s dam are highlighted with his shoulder blade-long hair plaited into a design of five strands with golden threads glimmering throughout falling down his shoulder.  

Minho stands behind him in a crimson suit of his own with his cropped hair combed back.  The confidence with which he stands as he slips thin gold rings on his fingers has nerves of apprehension tingling throughout Kibum’s body: He’s a mix of excitement at attending such a lavish ceremony and fear of stumbling through it.

Minho is a member of the elite, of the wealthy who live in, or at least near the city.  Kibum, though hardly poor, lives in the country as an orphan with an ancient grand dam.  There is no alpha Intended waiting for him at home, none who would have attended this ceremony with him if they existed.

There is a tinge of jealousy at what his friend has always had, at what the omega his own age will receive today: The steadiness of a love bond already formed, and the security of a Ceremony of Intention performed before witnesses.  

Kibum runs his fingers through his hair and tries to calm his nerves.

“You look fine!” Minho cries, laughing.  “Stop fiddling.”

“I always look fine,” Kibum retorts.  “Just a little nervous.”

“It’s my ceremony,” Minho points out.

“Yes, but,” Kibum says as he turns around, “it is also Jongin.”

“Yes,” Minho concedes, that dreamy tone to his voice again and Kibum slips his arm through Minho’s, leaning his head against his cousin’s shoulder.

Taemin watches Jongin prepare for his ceremony with an amused smile, laughing at how nervous his brother looks as he fixes his hair in the mirrored glass.  

“It is only Minho,” he says, back against the wall and arms crossed.  

The tunic he wears is a dark purple and near in tone to the one Jongin wears.  During preparations, it had seemed to suddenly occur to Jongin that at this ceremony there would be an alpha waiting to take his hand and none to take Taemin’s.  And though Taemin had made no remark, Jongin had quietly insisted that Taemin’s clothing be as fine as his own, an act too kind for even Taemin to tease him for.  Unlike tonight.

“It’s…”  Jongin’s voice falters and Taemin laughs again.  A glare is sent his way through the glass.  “Stop laughing.”

Taemin nods and steps forward, wrapping his arms around his brother’s waist and propping his head on his shoulder.  “You’ll be fine.”

“What if I mess up my lines?”

“That will definitely happen.”  Taemin laughs again and yelps when Jongin pinches his arm.  Pulling away, he moves back to his original spot, this time with his arms at his side.  “Minho won’t care, though.  And that is what matters.”  

Jongin watches him in the mirror long enough for Taemin to frown.   “What?”  His brother only shakes his head and turns back to his hair.

“Nothing.”

Kibum follows Minho and his family through the crowd to their place at the front.  There is a hush that falls as they near their destination and a reverential silence once they arrive.

Minho’s dam is seated first followed by his sire.  Kibum is then guided to a place behind them.  Minho takes the blessing of his grand dam, a withered palm to each cheek and a kiss to his forehead, before leaving them to take his place at the altar.

Barely a moment passes before his bare feet are reaching the soft carpet and a priestess appears, followed soon by a bonded alpha and omega pair.

Kibum had had no reason before this evening to meet Jongin’s sire and dam and his first impression is good.

Handsome, well-dressed, and the warmth of the smiles upon the pair seeing Minho and his cousin seeing them are so genuine that he finds his own lips turning up in response.

They step aside, revealing an omega nearer Kibum’s age who holds the hand of another who is slightly taller and whose skin is slightly warmer in tone.  Their face is hidden beneath a thin veil and they hold an ancient parchment in one hand which shakes slightly.

Kibum listens with as much attention as he can muster while the boy recites familiar verses, voice so quiet it is nearly impossible to hear.

It is the other one, the one holding his hand still, a breach of ceremony that hasn’t gone unnoticed, who captures his attention.  He had tried to step away but the veiled one had gripped him tightly and so he stands now, the perfect audience for the soft recitation.

The boy is watching the one hidden by the veil with warm affection, a hint of asmile on his lips  and his eyes keep dancing across the veiled face.  There is a calmness, an equanimity to his gaze that puts Kibum at ease in as much as it sets his heart to race.  He is beautiful, no other word can describe him.  Long ebony hair braided in low loops over golden skin and lips that, even from the distance between them and Kibum, Kibum can tell are petal pink.

Beautiful, Kibum thinks again, his heart beating a bit too fast and his cheeks a bit too warm.  He shifts in his seat and tries to pay attention to his cousin and to his cousin’s soon-to-be Intended.  

It is difficult, though, and he finds his eyes continually wandering to look again at the other omega.

Finally, the words die down and the hands held between the omegas release.  The mood shifts and Minho steps forward as the veiled omega turns and the other steps back.  

The priestess moves behind them and they stand before one another, Minho reaching out by habit and quickly letting his hand fall, eyes cast down in embarrassment and there is a smattering of cooing in the audience.

“Minho of the clan Choi.  You have been in Covenant with Jongin of the clan Lee since you were both young.  Today you have the choice to declare your intention to bond with Jongin when he comes of age.  Do you accept?”

Minho answers, “I do” so quickly and intensely that Kibum bursts out laughing, slapping his thigh in humor.  To his relief, he is not the only one, his gaffe lost in a sea of laughter.  

It is no surprise; the pair has a soul bond and there was no chance of Minho denying the opportunity to accept Jongin as his Intended.  It is still amusing to all the intensity with which he does so.

And with that, they are each declared Intended.  

As they and Jongin’s family step down from the altar and come towards Minho’s family, it strikes Kibum that Jongin has been asked no questions.  He had been to such ceremonies before but never for someone he knew so well, no one his own age, and now that it was personal he feels the imbalance acutely.   He wonders if Jongin does as well.

Taemin watches Minho acknowledge Jongin as his Intended and he watches Jongin smile happily as he is embraced by the alpha he’s known since the third day after he was born.  

And it’s in that moment, the very first moment he has ever stopped to wonder why he doesn’t have a Covenant of his own.  As it has never crossed his mind he has never asked his parents and it isn’t until this very moment that he ever thought he would.  

The happy couple is happy and they smile and accept the blessings of the elder guardians and of their sires and dams.

Taemin is left off to the side as he has no function in these moments after the ceremony any more than he had a part of the ceremony himself.  Jongin held his hand when he was alone, but he has Minho beside him now.  Taemin is left  with the freedom to stare and wander the room while Jongin and Minho continue to greet their guests.

Many strangers and friends fill the space and it’s difficult to see over and around them as he is yet still small.  “Not until your sixteenth or seventeenth year,” his dam had explained patiently when he had asked when he would grow to his greatest.  “It will be seen later whether you grow any further than that.  Your heats will bring about extra height so there is that to look forward to.”  Taemin had made a face and left his dam where she sat kneeling in the yard with a straw hat on her head and a pile of weeds at her feet.

Now he keeps close to the wall as he makes his way toward a dark corner.  A break is needed, a chance to catch his breath and be alone for a moment before being caught up again in the reminder that he is alone.

When Minho introduces Kibum to Jongin’s dam, he is surprised to find himself wrapped up in a warm hug that smells of earth, a gentle whisper of “I’m so glad you were able to be here for your friend” in his ear, and he leans into the kindness a little longer than was fair.  

When Minho introduces him to Jongin’s sire he bows and congratulates him on his son’s good match.

To his dismay, the boy from before, the omega who had held Jongin’s hand is not with them.  Even as he thinks to ask where he might be he lets the question die away.  Minho is smiling too brightly at Jongin who is grinning back, and he doesn’t know the boy’s guardians well enough to ask.  

Instead, he follows the pair as well as he can as they move back through the crowd, greeting and being congratulated all the while.  

After enough strangers give him a confused smile, he slips away, searching out a quiet corner and tucking himself within its shadows.  A breath is needed, a moment to gather his thoughts.

A sigh and a dull thud to his left catches his attention and he looks over to find the boy from earlier, the one who had held Jongin’s hand leaning against the wall beside him.  

The boy blows out a puff of air, the strands of hair at his forehead fluttering up, arms crossing and eyes at his feet.  

Stunned at the appearance and again finding his heart racing a bit too fast, Kibum coughs, choking on air.  The boy looks up at him in surprise, as though he hadn’t noticed that another was already standing there.

“Hi,” Kibum says weakly, uncertain of what else to say, and unsure he would be able to manage more even if he could think.

“Oh.  Hi.”  The boy turns then, shifting so that a shoulder presses to where his back had been a moment ago, arms still crossed.  “Who are you?”

Kibum points at his chest, flustered.  “Me?”

“Yes,” the boy says with a laugh.  “I don’t recognize you.  Are you of Minho’s clan?”

“I…” Kibum frowns, not sure how to answer that.  “Not exactly.  A cousin.  Distantly.”

“Ah.”  The boy keeps watching him and Kibum watches back, distracted enough by eyes that nearly sparkle that he doesn’t notice that the other hasn’t introduced himself.   “Are you unwell?”

Kibum’s brows furrow in confusion.    “I…what?”

“You keep staring.”  

Kibum’s eyes grow wide and he glances away, embarrassed.  “Just waiting for you to introduce yourself.”

“Why?”

He looks back over, warily.  “I told you who I am.”

“No, you didn’t.”  

Kibum frowns.  “Yes, I did.”

“No,” the boy laughs.  “You said you were Minho’s distant cousin.  That’s what you are.  You never said who you are.”  

Kibum scoffs, eyes rolling.  “I’m Kibum.”

“Taemin.”

“And what are you Taemin?  Now that you know what I am.”

“Jongin’s brother.”

“Ah.  Oh, of course.  Minho…”

“…does not speak of much other than Jongin, yes?”

Taemin’s smile is teasing but Kibum sees the same spark of sadness that burns in his own heart.  He wonders if there is an alpha waiting for Taemin when he reaches the age for his own Ceremony of Intention as well.  

Jinki watches his youngest child speaking with the young omega he’s only just met, Minho’s friend.  They are tucked away in a quiet corner and he smiles, pleased that his son has found someone who so fully draws his attention.  

Turning back to his eldest, he thinks still about his youngest and wishes that a similar ceremony was already planned and waiting for him in six months at the anniversary of his birth.

Tonight, however, he is satisfied to celebrate the love of the two before him.

Three nights later he looks at the face of his young cousin on the communication pad.  Eleven when the Covenant was made between herself and Taemin, she is now twenty-one and very much alone in deciding the fate of the two.

“It is good to see you, cousin,” Jinki says brightly, truly pleased to see how much Eunsook’s dam is reflected in her own face.

“And you,” is her quiet reply.  “I am sorry I could not attend Jongin’s ceremony.  Please tell me that my gift arrived.”

“Yes.  And he was very delighted to receive it.”  

The young alpha blushes demurely and Jinki hesitates to press on.  To his surprise, it is she who broaches the subject.  “Taemin, though…”

“Yes.  He will soon be of age for his own Ceremony of Intention.”

“Does he wish to meet me?”  

Jinki stops, startled.  “He…has no memory of meeting you as a child.  And there was no Ceremony of Covenant.  As was requested by your sire.  I thought that now-”

“If he doesn’t know, shouldn’t we let him alone?”

“Eunsook,” Jinki begins carefully, “I don’t think you quite-”

“There is still time.  He’s still quite young.”

“Yes, but-”

Eunsook shakes her head.  “I understand, cousin.  I do.  I know what we are to each other.  I will sign the declaration.  Just as with the Covenant, though, let there be no ceremony.”

“Eunsook-”

“At Jongin’s Ceremony of Bonding,” she abruptly declares.

Jinki blinks, his mind a whirl.  “What?”

“You’re right.  I cannot give him, give either of us forever.  At Jongin’s Ceremony of Bonding we will meet.  He will be older then.  He will be without his brother for three months after that day, and it will give us six months to know each other.  We won’t need them, of that I know.  And then we will bond at the anniversary of his birth.”

Jinki sighs in relief, tension melting away.  “Finally, you speak some sense.”  

Eunsook laughs, eyes crinkling in a way that reminds him of her sire from days when he still smiled.  “It was bound to happen eventually.”

“It is good to see you, Eunsook.  Truly.”

“It is good to see you as well.”

~

It’s when Jongin looks back with frightened eyes that Taemin nearly bolts from his place among the youth to his brother.  

The fingers at his side yearn to hold Jongin’s hand and it is only Jongin’s small smile and a slight shake of his head that keeps Taemin where he stands.

They both knew this day was coming.  Jongin had spoken of nothing much else since the day Minho claimed his intention to bond with Jongin two months ago, and the last three weeks had been spent with Taemin watching the pair slowly dance away from each other, their usual tender affection fading away to furtive glances.  

Jongin’s first heat was different from Minho’s first rut.  

Jongin had not been able to sense the change in Minho, but Minho could smell the change in Jongin; even Taemin could see the way the alpha’s eyes had shifted the last three days before he left to endure his rut far away from Jongin.

And now Jongin’s own eyes are dark and heavy as he turns away, disappearing around a corner before Taemin can send out a calm or thought to his brother.

It’s the same as it always is; three days and two nights spent among other youths near his age and cared for by omegas who have taken vows and wear the shroud to prove it.

Their wrists are smooth and some of their smiles sad, a few of them are even unkind in their care.  Taemin keeps away from those and stays with his friends, the youths born within the same solar year as his brother and himself and still too young to be taken by a heat.

Sungwoon and Jimin play games and tell stories as they wait, but Taemin is too worried for his brother to understand what they’re saying, and more than once he hears Moonkyu’s voice tell the others to leave him be.

When Jongin emerges, he looks just as he had when he left, albeit a little flushed.  He smiles tiredly when he sees Taemin and hugs his brother tightly when he finds himself caught up in the younger’s embrace.  

He doesn’t answer any questions while they are still at the heat house, falls asleep during the ride home, and naps yet still another hour, Taemin lying beside him and watching him with his fists tucked beneath his chin.

Only after all of that does he open his eyes and laugh at the look on his younger brother’s face, poking his nose in amusement.  “Were you this worried the entire time?”  

Taemin bristles, tucking his fists tighter beneath his chin.  “I was only curious,” he mutters, though he stays where he is, where he can see Jongin and feel the warmth of his body.

“It’s just as they say,” Jongin murmurs, finger falling to the bed and running across the blanket.  Taemin watches the movement.  “The rooms are dim and cool.  The drinks are slightly bitter, though I think they do their best to sweeten them.  I only woke once.”  

Taemin stares at Jongin’s face.  “What was it like?” he whispers.

Jongin looks up, eyes pensive.  “Hot.  Wet.  I…”  He swallows, glancing at the closed door and back at Taemin.  “I wanted Minho.  I’ve never wanted Minho like that before.  Minho told me ruts were difficult and I believed him but…if that’s what they’re like for him…”  Suddenly he looks away and shrugs.  “An Avowed saw me and brought me drink.  I was not awake for long.”

The way his brother begins gnawing at his lip, so like their sire upsets Taemin and he thinks of ways to ease the tension.  

He bites his own lip before asking, “Do you think Amma misses the heat houses?”  The pensiveness in Jongin’s eyes is soon replaced with shock and Taemin fights to hold back laughter.

“Taemin!”

“A full day of rest with drinks brought to help sleep...”  He grunts when he’s hit in the face with one of Jongin’s pillows.

~

Kibum leans up against the cool of the brick building behind him & watches Jongin dash away from Minho.  They’re there to play football but the pair are the only ones running on the field.  A cloudy spring sky keeps the day gray though neither of them seem affected by the melancholy weather.  

The yelp of delight Jongin lets out when Minho catches him from behind & swings him through the air makes Kibum’s heart clench and he looks down at his fingernails.  It’s envy, that simple, though not resentment.  The attachment he has to Minho wouldn’t make for a good match & it’s not that he wants Minho but he wants to be wanted the way Jongin is wanted by Minho.  

The final member of their group, the omega from the ceremony, Taemin comes around the corner.  Kibum smiles at the memory of the evening they spent together so many months ago.  

They had each intended to make their way back to their seats but had gotten so lost in conversation that neither had remembered to.  

Taemin’s sire had been the one to find them, to Kibum’s mortification, and he was certain his cheeks must have been burning bright when he joined the Choi family.  Minho’s sire had barely glanced at him, though his dam had raised a disapproving brow.

Now Kibum stands against another wall, watching Taemin watching the two at play just as Kibum had & Kibum notices a familiar flicker of envy that washes over the other’s face.

At least he isn’t alone.

“Hi,” he calls out before he can stop himself, a hand waved in greeting another step at acknowledgment.  

Taemin looks over & smiles, waving himself.  “Hi.  Were you waiting long?”

“No, not long.  And they…”  Kibum lets the sentence hang as he turns his gaze toward the pair on the field.  

He and Taemin are meant to function as chaperons, even though he is a visiting guest, his grand dam visiting with Minho’s grand dam after being unable to attend the Ceremony of Intention earlier in winter.  

They are unnecessary and the request made of them a burden as Jongin and Minho are so wrapped up in each other that they have no space for any other.  And Minho is so protective of Jongin’s innocence that he would rather cut off his own hand than let any harm come to the omega Intended to him.  

Yet here they are, Kibum and Taemin, standing on the sidelines of a love story at play each wondering passively when their chance to step on the stage will be and who will be there when the spotlight shines.

“It’s always like this,” Taemin says with a rueful smile.  “Soul bonds.”  He shrugs his shoulders as though explaining something simple.  Kibum would like to hear Taemin’s voice more, but not on matters of his cousin’s love.

“And you?  Have you a Covenant?  An alpha waiting to become an Intended?”  He crosses his ankles and congratulates himself on keeping a steady tone.  Of all the things they had spoken of those many months ago, somehow the obvious had never been asked.

“No,” Taemin replies, almost wistfully, “none for me.  You?”  

Kibum grimaces at the question.  “No, none for me either.  Grand dam wants that I would bond for love.”  

“Ah,” Taemin says, nodding.  

The conversation wanes then, the silence punctuated by bursts of Minho and Jongin yelling and laughing as they run up and down the field.  Abruptly, Kibum makes some off-hand comment about music that piques Taemin’s interest.

When Minho and Jongin finally decide to leave, it takes three calls of Kibum’s and Taemin’s names to get their attention.  

Another two to get them to leave the wall.    

~

Taemin leans back in his lounge chair with his feet poking out in the hot July sun beneath the over-sized umbrella stuck in his chair and watches his brother giggle in the arms of his Intended.  Minho is behind Jongin on the black asphalt of the Chois’ tennis court, his arms wrapped around Jongin’s front as he tries to grasp the ball Jongin is clutching tight to his chest out of his hands.  

Kibum sits beside him with his feet tucked in from the overhead sun and blacked out glasses resting over his eyes.  Glasses of drink sit on the table between himself and Kibum that glisten with condensation on the side and tinkle when picked up, spheres of ice tapping against the inner edges.

They are at Minho’s home which means the glasses are true glass and served on a silver tray of true silver by staff in a uniform and a tight smile.    Taemin likes it when they visit the Choi house because it means he doesn’t have to serve the drinks or clean up after Minho leaves.  

He especially likes it today with Kibum by his side.

A squeal from Jongin again draws his attention and now his brother is bent over in a fit of laughter and Minho’s fingers are working at his sides in an aggressive assault of tickling.    

Taemin is bored of their antics and turns to Kibum for companionship and distraction as Jongin breaks free from Minho’s grasp and begins dashing across the court.  Taemin is still looking at Kibum whose gaze could be on anything or nothing but is most definitely hidden behind his blacked-out glasses.

“What’s new with you?” Taemin asks, admiring Kibum’s profile and the smoothness of his skin.  He has no topics at hand to discuss and he doesn’t know Kibum well enough yet to broach ones the other might be interested in.  

They’d met once since the Ceremony of Intention in January and they had spoken for hours and yet Taemin could not recall much of what it was about.  There was talk of their mutual lack of Covenants, music, and how when it came to plant life Kibum’s thumb was a bright green while Taemin’s was nearly black; that he remembered.

He remembered also the way Kibum’s shoulders curved when he got shy, the softness of his eyes, and the scar in his brow that Taemin itched to touch.

He had enjoyed every minute of their time together.

Now it is July and the question is a tease in its own way and a somewhat sarcastic remark as nothing truly happens in their village and even less so in the one Kibum lives in with his grand dam.

“This conversation,” Kibum answers with a sideways smile.

Taemin rolls his eyes and smiles against his straw, watching the dimple in Kibum’s cheek.  Quiet on the court draws his attention and he looks over to see Jongin and Minho hugging.  Minho walks away empty-handed while Jongin picks up his racket and, once Minho is in place, strikes the ball with all of his might.  

Taemin knows that Minho holds back his strength when he plays with Jongin, though he doesn’t do the same at all when it is Taemin on the court.  When he notices, Jongin objects, but Taemin knows that Minho finds it difficult to play fair when it means that in any way Jongin might get hurt; his body or his feelings.  He’s playing for real for now, but he’s beginning to struggle, and Taemin turns to Kibum with a grin.

“How long do you think Minho will manage to play at full strength before he breaks and begins taking it easy on my brother?”

Kibum raises his head and observes the match a few moments before responding.  “My guess would be seven minutes.”

“I would say five,” Taemin muses.

“How long after do you think it will take Jongin to notice and put his hands on his hips in protest?”  

Taemin laughs, amused that Kibum, who has only been visiting for half a week has learned Jongin’s mannerisms so well.  “Today?  Another five.  Perhaps as much as ten.  It is a high infatuation day and I do not think that he is really paying attention to the game.”

“Perhaps not,” Kibum says slowly, “but that was quite the struggle for the ball.”  

Taemin shrugs.  “I think he was more into it for the hug than any victory.”

“You may have a point.  I’m saying seven on both, then.  And you say five?”

“Yes.”

“And what is our wager?” Kibum asks as he lies back down.

Taemin watches him and thinks.  The sound of the ball thudding back and forth across the court reminds him of the beat of a recently popular song and he grins mischievously as he says that a dance should be their barter.

The sunglasses that have so far remained still on Kibum’s nose now rise to his brow and Taemin sees that the scarred one is raised incredulously as Kibum asks, “A dance?”

“A dance.”

“Three minutes.”

“For the-” Kibum tilts his chin and Taemin looks over at Jongin and Minho and inwardly cheers Minho’s tender nature on.  

Nodding, he turns back.  “We’re the only ones here and it’s only a silly bet.  Agreed?”  

The thudding continues in the backdrop while Kibum considers and ultimately he raises his shoulders in confirmation.  “Agreed.  Two minutes.  I look forward to seeing your moves.”  

Taemin scoffs as he turns back to the game, pulling his feet out of the sun to tuck his knees beneath his chin and wrap his arms around his shins.

In the end, neither of them are right on how long it takes Minho to begin cheating as the alpha manages to make it a full ten minutes before giving away the game.  

It is Kibum who wins on the Jongin end of the bet as at almost exactly the seven-minute mark the unhappy frown that had been slowly growing on Jongin’s face finally turns furious and he stands up with his fists at his hips as he cries, “Choi Minho stop letting me win!”  

Kibum sighs happily and turns to Taemin who grumbles about having said “as much as ten” as he stands up from his perch.  Minho is apologizing as a backdrop and Jongin is saying something back but Taemin hears neither well as he begins to move his body in exaggerated moves as his embarrassment at losing has him trying to distract Kibum from his victory.  

When the two minutes finally end, Jongin whoops in the background, but Kibum only watches him from behind the blackened glasses.

“Well?” Taemin asks impatiently.  

“Well what?” is the infuriatingly calm reply he receives.

“What did you think of my dancing?”  

Kibum shrugs and reaches over to grab his glass and it’s then that Taemin sees that the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks are tinged pink.  Kibum holds the straw in one hand and just before he puts it in his lips to take a sip he says, “It was only a wager.”

“What was a wager?” comes Minho’s deep voice from behind them and Jongin is looking at them in interest as well.

They stand side by side and they glow with exertion and with love and neither Kibum nor Taemin hesitate to answer, “You”.  

It’s an accident, they answer in unison and Taemin’s eyes crinkle as he smiles at Kibum with delight.  The only other person who will tease Jongin and Minho, it seems.  A new ally for when their love and devotion to one another gets to be a bit too much for Taemin to endure alone.

Jongin’s eyes narrow but Minho, surprisingly, only laughs good-naturedly before patting Jongin on the shoulder and tilting his head back toward the court.  

Taemin sits down again and pokes his feet back out into the sun.  The thump, thump, thump of the ball against the court echoes in front of him as he turns to Kibum and says, “You must visit more often.”  Kibum nods silently even as his lips turn up into a satisfied smile.

~

Kibum sits with Minho at the small table in the middle of the floral garden he’s tended to with his grand dam since he was five and watches as alpha after alpha carries every bit of the life he shares with her out of their home and into a waiting trailer.

“It will be good to have you near,” Minho says, taking a sip of the drink Kibum’s grand dam had insisted he have.  Two clear glasses filled with sparkling drink sit on a silver tray between them and they watch as the elder omega, along with Minho’s own grand dam, give instructions to the movers.  Minho’s sire stands with them though she keeps silent, a symbol of authority as an alpha, though merely through age the two nearly outrank her.

“Yes,” Kibum agrees, thinking of Taemin and how often they will be able to sit beside each other.

“Taemin will be glad to have you near.”  Kibum coughs as his eyes widen, and he turns his head to his cousin before he can catch himself.

“What-why-what-why would-”

Minho laughs, taking another sip.  “The guardians make him our chaperon with every visit.  I think…I know he finds it dull.  And he was very happy to have you around.  It will be easier to keep in touch if you actually see each other and no longer need to rely on writing letters.”  Kibum blushes and picks up his glass and takes a long drink.  Minho only watches in amusement as he continues.  “I haven’t told him.  And since he has not been grinning as you have these last weeks, apparently you haven’t either.”  

Kibum ducks his head.  “No,” he says, suddenly embarrassed.  “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well it will be, cousin.  And I think it will be a very happy one.”  Kibum smiles, looking down at his drink.  After the equinox, he thinks, after the anniversary of his birth.  Soon.

~

The wing of the heat house where Taemin now finds himself is just as Jongin had described; dimly lit and cool with Avowed omegas dressed in pale linen frocks and warm smiles moving up and down the rows of beds with pitchers in their hands.  An omega older than his dam with skin wrinkled from years of smiling leads Taemin to a bed covered in a gray sheet and assures him that she will be back soon with a firm squeeze of his shoulder.

He sits gingerly on the soft linen and looks around the room.  

A few of the beds have double the occupants, omega youths frightened of their first heats holding the hands of those who have experienced them before, or those experiencing them for the first time as well, for courage while they still can.  

Taemin wishes Jongin were here to hold his hand, but he was lost somehow in the crowd and Taemin is alone without even his friends as he sits and waits.  Jongin had told him of how his own heats had been, of the drinks the Avowed would soon provide.  Still, Taemin worries.  The hands folded at his lap hold his attention and he stares at his fingers and thinks of Kibum and smiles.  

Suddenly, a hand at his shoulder and a huffed, “There you are!” grab his attention and he looks up to find Jongin asking the omega in the bed beside Taemin if he may take her place.  One look at Taemin has her smiling and nodding and now Jongin sits at the bed beside him.

“What were you thinking about?” his brother asks, glancing around the room distractedly.

“What?”

“When I came in,” he continues, still looking around, “you were smiling.  What were you thinking about?”

“I…ah…I was…”  Taemin’s cheeks burn and he can feel his eyes widen.  Kibum, he thinks,  Kibum, of course: what else?

To his relief, the Avowed begin pouring drinks and having the omega youths lie down.  He turns to Jongin only to find his brother staring at him.  Frozen, he stares back.  They’re silent until an Avowed reaches their beds and says it’s time, a cup offered to Jongin first.  It takes a moment for him to notice her presence, though when he does he is all good manners and accepts the drink with a word of gratitude.  Taemin follows Jongin’s lead and soon the Avowed moves on.  He lies down and folds his hands over his chest, keeping his eyes on his fingers until he feels himself fall asleep.

~

Taemin’s eyes grow wide and he leaps at Kibum, throwing his arms around the other’s neck and surprising Jongin and Minho who watch from behind him.  

“Does this mean you’ll be on all the visits?” he asks excitedly as he steps back.  

Kibum feigns a reluctant smile.  “I suppose so.  If I have to.”

“No,” Minho cuts in, his eyes dark and mouth set.  “There is no need.  One chaperon is quite enough.”  

Taemin’s smile drops and he looks to Jongin who turns to Minho who’s still looking at Kibum.  Kibum sighs and shakes his head.  “Are you always like this?  No wonder Taemin is constantly bored.”  

Jongin begins to chuckle, turning to hide his face with a cupped hand, and Minho’s facade is quickly broken by the amusement of his soul bond.

The panic in Taemin’s eyes melts and another smile, albeit tentative, makes it way to his lips.  “Then you will be on the visits?” he asks again, glancing once at Minho as he takes a step forward to place a hand on Kibum’s shoulder.

��Of course,” Kibum answers softly, caught again in the beauty of Taemin’s eyes.

“Good,” is the response he’s given.  That and the warm hand that continues to rest on his shoulder.

~

Taemin holds Kibum’s hands and only shrugs when Minho teases him about losing his gloves.  A feigned illness during the Ceremonial Hunt meant not seeing Kibum for a week.  Too long, Taemin thinks, rubbing his thumb lightly over Kibum’s fingers.  They are walking through the snow because Jongin had been struck by the beauty of the falling flakes.  He walks with an arm linked through Minho’s while Taemin and Kibum follow behind.

Taemin listens to Kibum talk and watches the way his lips move, laughs at the wrong moment and almost loses Kibum’s warm fingers.

At the end of the visit, he hugs Kibum quickly, hurrying down the drive and turning just as he reaches the vehicle waiting for him and waving good-bye with a gloved hand.

~

“I hate this season,” Taemin says bitterly, staring out the window at the snow falling in thick flakes, “the Holy Day of Mourning.  I don’t like that it happens so near the anniversary of Jongin’s birth.  Such a sad thing shouldn’t happen so near such a happy thing.”

“It would have to happen near someone’s birth,” Kibum points out absently from where he lies on his bed with a magazine in hand.

“At least I have no one to mourn,” Taemin sighs as he lies down beside him, arm tossed lazily across his forehead.

Kibum shallows his breathing as he always does when Taemin throws himself so casually near.  It’s a habit by now; he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it anymore.

“Truly blessed,” he murmurs, turning the page.

“Will you go for your parents?” Taemin asks quietly.  “You don’t talk about them much.”  

Kibum glares out of the corner of his eye and grips the pages in his hand a bit tighter.  “I don’t talk about them at all,” he points out, voice sharp.

“I know,” Taemin answers, eyes still at the ceiling.  “I was trying to be tactful.”  Kibum scoffs and flips a page.  “What?”

Kibum hesitates, eyes unfocused on the page before him.  He lets it fall to his chest, fingers still gripping the pages.

“We’re more alike than you think,” he begins slowly, his eyes staring at the wall lit by a winter sun.  “Than I let on.  Not even…” he pauses, wondering.  “I’m not sure even Minho knows, though his guardians might.”  He turns then, onto his shoulder, pages crinkling in protest.  Taemin’s head turns to watch him.  “They’re not dead, I’m not an orphan.”  The eyes he has begun to love blink and then the brows he has begun to love furrow.

“What?”

“I’m not an orphan.  Grand dam just says I am.  I…here.”  The magazine falls forgotten to the floor as he climbs off the bed.  It’s a process to break through the two locks that reveal a hidden compartment all within a simple box that seemingly holds nothing.

A crinkled sheaf of paper reveals itself and he unfolds it carefully, avoiding looking at the familiar words before handing it to the other omega.

“No one wanted us, you and I,” he says bitterly as Taemin’s eyes flicker over the paper.  “It’s just that my parents made it official when they abandoned me.”

It’s silent in the room as Taemin’s eyes scan the document with Kibum’s name, date of birth, and Confirmation of Release all neatly printed on it.

“We were wanted too, though,” he murmurs suddenly, eyes still on the sheaf.  “You have your grand dam & I have my sire, dam, & Jongin.  And we each have a Confirmation of Acceptance.”  He pulls out another document and shakes it gently with a smile.  

Tucking it back in, he adds, “And now we…we have each other.”  There’s a soft flush to his cheeks and he doesn’t look up as he carefully folds the first sheaf back together.  Kibum takes the hope and the heat in his own cheeks and tucks them both away for the future.

“Fate,” he chuckles, no acerbic remark clicking in his head or off his tongue because suddenly he hopes it might be true, that the scar he’s carried on his heart since he was a child was actually a mark that Taemin carries as well and instead of it making Kibum an outcast it makes them a pair.  

Taemin chuckles too and finally looks up.  “It could be worse, you know.  When I was eight, finally old enough to join the guardians for a hunt I watched Jongin shift into a beautiful wolf.  Soft gray with pale violet eyes.  I was so proud.  And then those eyes turned to me, bright with excitement and I was excited too.  And then they slowly began to glisten with confusion.  No matter what I did, nothing changed.  My skin stayed golden and no fur ever formed.”

Kibum swallows hard and his heart skips a beat as he listens.

“I was shaking and my sire kept saying my name in the softest voice and then Jongin was whimpering.  I began crying and asking him why I couldn’t do it and he said he didn’t know.  It didn’t make sense; I could hear his thoughts in the forest as a child, I could hear them still, I should be able to shift.  It never occurred to the guardians that I wouldn’t.

“I was so scared.  I asked him where I would go now.  I was sure he would send me away.  Jongin was still in wolf form, nuzzling me with his snout and whimpering, and I was petting him and crying.  And then my sire stood up and his eyes grew dark and I cried even harder and Jongin began to howl.  It was awful.

“Then he picked me up and held me tight.  He whispered in my ear that I would come on the Hunt.  I would carry supplies between the tents and I would stay with my dam while Jongin joined the other omegas.  And that when it was finished I would come back home with them.  That nothing had changed.  ‘Nothing has changed, Taemin.  Nothing.  You are my son.  Always.’  No one else knows,” he adds with a shy smile.  “You’re the only one I’ve ever told.”

“I can’t even hear thoughts,” Kibum confesses breathlessly.  Taemin’s eyes widen and it’s as though all the air in the room has dissipated.

“Then…”

“Minho knows.  And now you.”  

They stare at each other in the uneasy quiet, too many revelations in too little time to be comfortable.  

Then suddenly Taemin’s lip quirks up in a half-smile.  “We really are fated.”

Kibum snorts.  “If we were fated we would live closer.”

Taemin’s fingers meet his on the bedding.  “At least you are no longer in that tiny village.”

“The outskirts of the city is still too far away.”  

Taemin laughs.  “You should live with Minho.”

“Fate will bring us together,” Kibum says, curling his fingers against Taemin’s.  “Just watch.”

~

“What do you think of Kibum?” Taemin asks carefully, his eyes studiously focused on the cup in his hand and the towel with which he dries it.  His brother’s own hands are in the basin of water, emerging amongst small waves with the last of the dishes from their evening meal: A single fork.

“I knew there was one more,” Jongin mutters, pulling the drain and letting the waterline slowly disappear as he scrubs and rinses off the utensil, handing it to Taemin and his drying towel.  

Taemin takes it and swallows back the urge to repeat the question.  They’re nearly done and once they’re fully finished he can try again.

“Kibum?” his brother asks distractedly, glancing over once before he begins wiping down the counters around the sink.  “I like him.  Although,” he laughs, turning to take the towel out of Taemin’s hands, “I haven’t had as many conversations with him as you have.  But I’ve enjoyed the ones we’ve had.  And he makes Minho laugh.”  

Taemin follows as Jongin begins walking down the hall toward the washing room.  He stands in the doorway with crossed arms as his brother drops the towels they had just used into the ancient machine.   They’re halfway across the hall when Jongin chuckles and looks to him.  “Why do you ask?”  

Taemin pauses.  “I like him too.”  He waits, watching Jongin take in his words and hoping he absorbs the meaning behind them as well.

His brother’s smile remains though he begins to look at him in confusion, leaning up against the wall with his own arms crossed.  “With as much time as you two spend together, I would hope so.”

“No, Jongin, I like him.”  He waits again, again hoping.   Jongin’s brows begin to furrow.  “Very much,” he adds, watching his brother’s head begin to tilt.  “Like you like Minho.”  

Jongin blinks once before his eyes slowly soften, a hand reaching out to rest on Taemin’s arm.  “I thought so.  I just wasn’t sure.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Taemin whispers, arms tightening around his chest.

“What do you mean?” Jongin asks, brows furrowing again as he takes his place again against the wall.

“I…do you think he likes me too?”  Jongin bursts out laughing and Taemin frowns.  “Why are you laughing?”

“That’s not the problem, Taemin.  Though yes, I do think he does.  But…”  Jongin’s eyes soften again only this time there’s a ribbon of worry woven within his gaze.  “You’re both omegas.”  

Taemin’s shoulders slump.  “I know.”

“Just be careful,” his brother cautions, reaching out again to place a hand at Taemin’s arm.

~

At Minho’s final, focused strike, Kibum and Taemin are soundly defeated.  

The same court they had so often watched Jongin and Minho play on they now play on too.  Neither are in the game to win.  In fact, half of the reason they are sweating beneath a late spring sun is for the simple joy of watching Minho’s composure crumble in frustration when it becomes clear that neither of them are going to be worthy opponents.

The other half is for the freedom the exercise gives them.  No excuses need to be made to hold hands, no second glances given when they run around the court in a frenzy.  Just open affection and laughter.  

Taemin is laughing, spinning Kibum through the air as he has seen Minho do to Jongin so many times.  When he puts him back down, he looks up and sees his brother watching.  The way Jongin watches makes Taemin’s chest tighten.  His brother’s eyes are warm but sad, and so is his smile.  Taemin turns away, laughing again when he sees that Kibum is still dizzy.

~

Taemin and Kibum hold hands beneath the table at the Choi house and their thumbs play notes up and down each other’s knuckles.  Their empty hands hold cold drinks and they sip in silence while they grin against their straws.  

~

They are all too old to be playing a game of dares, but it is the anniversary of Taemin’s birth and by rights they follow his insistence.  

There are others there that Kibum only faintly recognizes, omegas named Moonkyu and Jimin who are friendly enough but stick close to Jongin and Taemin.  He feels his presence as an outsider acutely and if it weren’t for the way Taemin’s eyes shine and how he slips both arms around Kibum’s he might have made an excuse to leave early.

Instead, he stays.

And at this moment, regrets it dearly.

“You don’t have to do it,” Jongin tries to console him from across the table.  

Moonkyu and Jimin nod in agreement even as Taemin shakes his head.  “Of course he does.  And I will see to it.”  He stands and raises a brow at Kibum who himself begins to slowly rise.  The other three begin to follow but stop when Taemin raises a hand.  “No, just us.”  They exchange glances before nodding, eyes blank as they watch Kibum make his way toward the door.

The challenge was to climb up onto the roof of Taemin’s home.  A ladder is easily pulled from a shed by the omega’s hands and Kibum swallows heavily as he watches it be placed against the frame of the house.  He takes a deep breath and has both hands on the sturdy wood when he feels Taemin’s warm hand on his arm.

“Kibum.”  He turns and finds himself struck by a look in Taemin’s eye he’s never seen before; a mixture of eagerness and fear.  “This isn’t the true challenge.  My true challenge…is to kiss me.”  There’s a brief pause before his eyes widen and he blurts out, “Only if you want to!”

Kibum stares.  

There had been flickers of hope that what he had imagined were moments of reciprocity were true but they were only flickers: Omegas didn’t fall in love with omegas.

“Don’t tease me, Taemin,” he says carefully.

“If it were a tease we would have stayed inside.”  There’s an earnestness in his tone and Kibum can’t catch his breath as Taemin’s gaze never wavers.

“You’ve…never…we’ve…”  

Taemin’s shoulders droop and his eyes begin to look everywhere except Kibum’s face.  “Just say no, Kibum.  You don’t have to explain or make excuses.”

“Ancients, Taemin,” Kibum breathes, taking a step forward.  Taemin looks up, dark eyes flickering back and forth between his own.  “I’m saying everything but ‘no.’”  

The air grows warm between them and Taemin’s gaze slips to Kibum’s lips as he leans forward.  

Halfway in, Taemin pauses and looks back up at Kibum who only breathes in the stillness.  He doesn’t know what he’s doing, and neither does Taemin by the looks of things, but somehow the warmth of the palm at his jaw and the way Taemin’s hips feel beneath his own hands seems familiar.  

A swallow and a deep breath by both and then Taemin’s lips are on his, soft and chaste and he feels a rush thrill through his nerves.  He blinks twice as he pulls away, biting his lower lip shyly.  

Taemin’s watching him earnestly, lips already turning up in a grin.  “I want to kiss you again,” he says eagerly.  

Kibum grins too because he also wants Taemin to kiss him again.  

But he doesn’t let him.  Instead, he’s the one to press their lips together for a second time.

And it’s not until Kibum’s halfway back down the ladder, after making it up to the roof, that he remembers that he’s afraid of heights.

~

“I love you,” Taemin whispers in the dark, the two lying on their backs and staring at a ceiling that is shrouded from their sight.  A month has passed since their first kiss, a year and a half since they first met.  They are alone in the room Taemin has spent every night for the last twelve years because they are omegas and no guardian suspects.  

Jongin is the only one who knows.

Taemin smiles into the dark when he hears Kibum whisper, “I love you too.”

And then it hits, a warmth that flows from his chest out through his entire body.  He shivers as a sensation he’s never felt before washes over him and a faint burst of golden sparkles flutters across his visage.  

Startled, he turns to Kibum only to find him glowing with the same golden sparkle.  It’s fading into the dimness but there’s no denying it’s appearance, especially as Kibum’s eyes continue to glow.

“Taemin,” his love whispers, an awe to his voice.

He answers with a kiss, a giggling mess that has him holding Kibum tight around the neck.  

As he had fallen in love with Kibum, he had hoped for such a moment.  The chances were never in their favor, so many barriers already surrounded their love.  Yet despite them all, despite knowing that they will never form a mating bond, Taemin and Kibum this night have formed a love bond.

~

“Does this happen to you every year?” Kibum asks, lying in the bed beside Taemin with their fingers loosely entwined.

“No,” Taemin answers, voice hoarse, “though often enough that it has become a joke in the village.  Occasionally I only pretend.  This time I really am sick.”

“You’ll probably make me sick as well,” Kibum muses, wiggling his fingers.  Taemin only hums, eyes closed and mouth open as he labors to breathe through a congested airway.

The guardians had allowed Kibum to keep behind to care for Taemin.  The Ceremonial Hunt means that nearly all are away, but an alpha who normally guards the heat houses had been left to guard the youths.  She sits now in the kitchen with a book while the two lie in Taemin’s bed.  Kibum listens as his love drifts in and out of sleep, coughs and sniffles reminders of why they’re there, and he keeps their fingers tied throughout the day as much as he can.  

They are safe with the alpha guardian, but she is still a stranger to them, and so even when he becomes hungry he stays in the bed.  It is well into the night before he stirs, and it is only at Taemin’s own insistence of hunger and thirst.  The alpha guardian smiles and is kind but curt, never rising from her seat while he prepares a meal for himself and his love.  

They eat soup and drink tea in Taemin’s bedroom and Kibum kisses his forehead softly.  Taemin murmurs, “I love you” as quietly as he can in a voice that is deep and that is followed with a racking cough.  

Kibum laughs and whispers, “I love you too.  Now keep silent and go to sleep,” pushing Taemin back onto the bed and rubbing his back until his love is no longer awake.

He takes the dishes to the kitchen, washes them, dries them, puts them away, and then goes back to where he belongs: By Taemin’s side.  

Another three days pass in this manner as Taemin grows healthier and their time together shorter.  By the end of it, there is no more coughing and a jubilant Jinki, Minjung, Jongin, and Minho return, smiles on their faces and only Jongin knowing what the time alone has meant for the two omegas.

~

“Appa?” Taemin asks timidly, standing in the doorway of his sire’s study and watching as Jinki works his fingers over a screen that is too flat for him to see.  A scattering of paper covers the desk and pair of bookcases rise high with leather-bound tomes and a few well-worn paperbacks.  The room is dark and familiar with a window directly across from where he stands letting in a bit of sunlight behind a crinkled blind.

“A moment, Taemin.  I am nearly finished,” Jinki murmurs, eyes on the project before him.  

Taemin nods and waits.

Another minute passes and then his sire looks up, squinting and blinking, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  “What is it?”

“The anniversary of my Ceremony of Acceptance is soon.”  Taemin watches with a flush to his chest as his sire’s face lights up.

“Yes,” he says brightly, “I look forward to celebrating.”

“As do I.  It is only just…it is…I…”  Taemin licks his lips and presses on.  “Would it be acceptable for me to have a friend to dinner?”  He watches with a sinking heart as his sire’s smile turns to a frown.

“To the family dinner?”

“I…yes.”  Jinki leans back, arms folding tight across his chest.  Taemin’s own hands link at his waist and his shoulders begin to curve in a submissive pose.

“Who?”

“Kibum.  Minho’s cousin.”

“Oh!”  To his relief, the frown on his sire’s face melts away to a look of understanding.  “Of course.  He is nearly family, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” Taemin answers with a nod, “he nearly is.”  He pushes back the thought of how he wishes that he were allowed to be and presses on.  “So, would it be acceptable?”

“Nearly isn’t actually, Taemin,” his sire says in a patronizing tone.  “Let me speak with your dam first before any such decision is made.”  

Taemin frowns.

“Minho is allowed,” he snaps.  There’s a sudden freeze to the air and he regrets speaking as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“Jongin is Intended to Minho.  And they are soul bonds.  Minho is family.”  There’s a sharpness to his sire’s tone that Taemin didn’t expect but that he should have.  

“Forgive me, Appa.  I should not have said it like that.”

“Of course, little one.  Family always forgives.”  He gives Taemin a smile that Taemin does his best to reflect back.  “Now, go be productive.  I will finish this and then I will talk to your dam.  And there is no need to get worked up about it.  We both know that she will give you what you want.”  He winks then and Taemin chuckles, though still a bit unsure.  He nods and closes the door of his sire’s study, holding the handle in his hand and staring at the wood long after the lock had clicked.  He waits a few more moments before turning to his own room.

Kibum is beside him on the anniversary of his Ceremony of Acceptance when his sire recounts the story of how he was found in the woods.    

~

Kibum’s grand dam dies on a spring day far too bright for the shadow that is cast.  

Kibum blinks back tears and presses the back of his thumb against tight lips as the warmth of Minho’s arm lies against his shoulder and the fire of his grandmother’s funeral pyre burns.

He is now officially without clan.

A crowd adorned in white surrounds him as they watch an elder absorbed by the flames.  The priestess says a few words and blesses Kibum’s forehead with their palm.  

Taemin and Jongin’s guardians come to him, Jinki pressing a palm to his cheek and Minjung holding him fast.  Taemin says nothing and a sob ripples through Kibum’s chest and through his lips.  His face is in his hands when he feels Taemin’s fingers in his hair and the lips of his love pressed to his forehead.  Kibum’s head falls against Taemin’s shoulder and his back is soothed by the other’s hands, arms holding him tight.  

The Chois intercede immediately and by the end of the day he has a home in their estate, the things he had in the house he shared with his grand dam packed up and safely stored away.  When later that evening he steps into the basement apartment he had spent nights in as a visitor it’s filled with things that are familiar but that look wrong in the new space.

Everything looks wrong.

Everything feels wrong.

Everything except Taemin’s hand holding Kibum’s as they walk from the pyre back to the lot where all the vehicles wait to take the mourners home.  

Except Kibum.  

He will be going to the Chois’.

“I didn’t know,” Taemin whispers sadly, furtively, apologetically even.  Kibum knows immediately what he’s talking about and that he’s a fool for thinking it: Fate did not take his grand dam away to bring them closer together.  

“I love you,” he whispers instead, squeezing the hand in his.

“I love you,” is whispered back, his hand squeezed in return before they’re separated and he watches Taemin watch him leave with the Chois.

~

The early summer sun stings but there’s a soft breeze that cuts through the heat as Taemin thinks about what he wants to say.

“Do you think about the future?” Taemin asks casually, glancing at Kibum out of the corner of his eye before turning his gaze back on his brother.  Jongin’s own eyes are on the board before him, game piece in hand, and Minho’s are on Jongin as he waits his turn.

“Of course.”

“What do you want?”

“Well,” Kibum scoffs, “I have no Covenant so it’s either the heat houses as an Avowed or-”

“No,” Taemin interrupts, turning then to look at Kibum fully.  “What do you want?”  

Kibum’s eyes stay down, focused on his hands.  The shaded glasses keep his thoughts hidden.  “A family,” he says softly, as though it were a secret to be ashamed of.  “A bond and young.”

“You should have that,” Taemin answers, voice equally gentle.  Kibum scoffs again, turning even as he slips the shaded glasses over his head.

“Those things require Covenants and alphas.  Those things aren’t mine.”

“They should be.”  

Without thinking, Taemin’s hand reaches across the space between them and takes hold of Kibum’s wrist, sliding down until it’s resting over the back of Kibum’s hand.  Kibum looks at it for what seems an eternity before turning his own around and opening his fingers wide so that they lace with Taemin’s.

“My grand dam never made me a Covenant.  And the Chois won’t make me one either.  They all want me to have a love bond before a mating bond.  But how can I have a love bond with an alpha when…”  He looks up then, looks into Taemin’s eyes and Taemin can only smile sadly and wish he could give his love the bond and the young he wants.

“We will be good together in the heat houses as Avowed,” he says quietly, shaking Kibum’s hand.  A soft chuckle is elicited from his love and it is enough for now.

“We will be awful,” Kibum argues.  “But at least…we will be together.”  

[jinkisbelly]

I’ve started to post the revised version of my Onho chaptered fic I’ll walk on Ao3 if you’re interested. 

Side Het!taekey, ratings like pg-13 and I promise while there’s angst there isn’t any character death. 

[anyebbeo]

they say home is where the heart is 1/2 [shineemulti!pairings  I r I hogwarts!au]

pairings: sensualplatonic!taekey, jongkey, sensualplatonic!jongtae, platonic!minkey, jongho, onkey, jongkeytae (lots of poly goodness, basically) rating: r genre: hogwarts!au, fluff, friendship, slight romance, slight angst. warning: mentions of sexual situations, mentions of alcohol, language, brief mentions of body image, mentions of oppression and mistreatment of minorities  length: ~30k (part 1) a/n: i took the liberty to add some stuff in here that's not actually a thing in the hp universe because i can and i wanted to :P also, this thing is massive and it's only the first part...idek what i'm doing anymore xD anyway, i hope you guys like it and i'm looking forward to writing the second part. i shall post it as soon as i can^^ and don't worry, i'm definitely planning to move back to more original aus after this. i just really had to get this story out of my system. thank you all for reading and until the next chapter~

Taemin's heart is hammering in his chest as he strides down the school's hallways. His gaze darts from left to right - in a frenzy, almost - taking in the framed paintings adorning the plain stone walls to make sure he isn't going into the wrong direction. But although he swears he has walked past the weeping lady in her blood-stained dress before, he has been living with himself for long enough to never trust his sense of direction. Not since that one time at Mahoutokoro, when he opened the wrong door - entirely convinced that it was one he'd used a million times before, mind you - and almost had all of his hair burned off by a fire spewing dragon. So there is a wave of relief washing over him when the entrance to the Slytherin common room comes into view as he turns what has to be the twentieth corner in just a few minutes. Fastening his pace, there is a smile on his face and a spring to his step now that he knows he hasn't led himself into the wrong part of the building. His enthusiasm is short-lived, however. Because as soon as his steps come to a halt, it finally sinks in that he can't for the life of him remember what the stupid password is. "Are you just gonna keep standing there or what?" A voice startles him from behind. Whipping his head around, Taemin comes face to face with another boy, tall and black-haired, with clear amusement curling the corners of his lips. Taemin has no idea how he managed to approach him without a sound in a place where every step echoes through hallway after hallway, but the thought slips from his mind as quickly as it came. "Sorry, I don't-" Taemin begins, redness rising into his cheeks. "It's 'Devil's Snare'," The boy says, the wall in front of them giving a rumble at the words as the passageway to the dungeon is revealed. "The password," He clarifies, advising "You better remember it," when Taemin keeps staring at him, still taken aback and more than a little lost. "Right," Taemin shakes himself out of his stupor, smiling sheepishly, "Thanks." "You're the new guy, aren't you?" The boy asks as he gestures for Taemin to step into the common room first. Nodding 'yes', Taemin climbs down the slippery stairs, careful not to trip and make a fool out of himself twice in a matter of mere seconds. "My memory isn't very good, sorry," He apologises, somehow hoping to find a way to communicate to the boy that contrary to what his first impression may suggest, he really isn't as scatterbrained as he seems. Although many would say otherwise, perhaps, but that's beside the point. He never receives a response, however. Instead, the boy musters him for a moment, before he simply observes "You're cute. But your accent is funny," and Taemin blinks at the blunt comment. He has no idea what he is supposed to respond to that. But the boy doesn't seem to expect him to. "Aren't you Korean?" He asks instead, his sharp eyes mustering him as if he can't yet decide what to make of him.  "Yeah," It takes Taemin a moment to realise that the question is referring to the 'funny accent'-part of the boy's comment. "I've always lived in Japan, though," He explains, and the boy shrugs. "Fair enough." Following up with a simple introduction of "I'm Kibum," he adds "I arrived a bit late this year cause I was out of the country. Traveling large distances by ship is a shitty idea, I'm telling you," and Taemin nods along to all of it, making a mental note not to forget the boy's name by the time they have made it up to the dormitory. "What about you?" Kibum asks. "Umm…" Taemin falters, the conversation moving along much too quickly for his taste. He isn't usually this slow - he swears he's not - but he's tired and overwhelmed by all the new impressions to begin with, and this whole jumping from one topic to the next thing isn't helping. "Your name," Kibum supplies. 'Oh, right,' He thinks, another wave of embarrassment washing over him as he offers "It's Taemin." It doesn't seem like Kibum is too bothered by his awkwardness, though. Quite the contrary, if the smile and the good-natured "Nice to meet you, Taemin," he offers in response are anything to go by. Taemin appreciates it. Most people's patience would have begun to run thin by now. "Ohh," Kibum turns around, his face lighting up as if he just remembered something incredibly important and Taemin has no idea what to expect. "Welcome to Hogwarts," He says, adding an entirely unnecessary wink at the end and beaming at him so brightly, he rivals the sun. Taemin prays that his blushing isn't too noticeable.

///

Kibum's bed is the one right next to his. Of course it is. Taemin remembers now, how one of his upperclassmen had informed him that his neighbour wouldn't arrive until the end of the first school week and he wants to punch himself in the face for always being so inattentive. Because he would have had far more time to freak out about meeting the person he's going to be sharing such an intimately small space with for at least the entire next year if his head wasn't always so far up in the clouds.  His bed is tucked away into the furthest corner of the dormitory next to a large window. With a heavy, green curtain to pull close if he needs to and shielded from his fellow students' eyes by a wall, too. He spent his entire first day wondering how he got so lucky. Because there is no way this kind of privacy would be so easily offered to him without a catch. After a night of freezing winds blowing in through the draft in the window, it did make sense to him, though, that his bed had been left empty until now.  Kibum doesn't mind the cold, apparently. Which is why he had oh-so graciously volunteered to occupy the bed right next to his. That's what he told him, at least. Taemin is pretty sure Kibum is bullshitting, though. Because the older boy never seems to actually sleep in his bed to begin with.  Whenever Taemin switches off his lights in the evening, Kibum's is nowhere to be seen and whenever he wakes up - whether it's a few moments of consciousness during the night or early in the morning - Kibum's duvet is unwrinkled and his pillow soft and puffy.  And he is curious, but he doesn't ask. Because it's too soon and he doesn't want to scare Kibum off with probing questions when they haven't even seen each other cry yet. (Plus, he's a bit glad Kibum isn't around at night to witness him fall off the edge of his bed time and time again, because he is so used to sleeping in a futon where the ground is never so damn far away.) He easily decides that he could have ended up with a dorm mate a lot worse than Kibum, though. Someone smelly, or someone with anger issues or someone who'd steal from the small stash of Gummy Worms and Sour Strips he's got tucked away under his bed for when the craving for sugar hits. Kibum is none of these things. If anything, he's the exact opposite. Taemin didn't intend to hang around him a lot. He doesn't want to be the kind to trail the first friendly person he meets like a lost duckling. But it is actually Kibum who approaches him most of the time. He's always ready to walk him to class if he struggles to find his way, has invited him to eat with his small circle of friends more than once (an offer Taemin really wants to take him up on, even though meeting new people is always terrifying enough to make him feel sick) and he definitely doesn't smell bad. And his occasional snark and sarcasm, too, are a source of entertainment for him more than anything. Even if he thinks it'll take some time for him to tell when the older boy is messing with him and when he's actually being serious. He just hopes that the inappropriate flirting he will get used to as well. Eventually. 

///

"Taemin?" He flinches at the call of his name, bouncing off the walls, in a volume so loud, he can't even pretend to have missed it. "Ohh, hi," Taemin turns in his spot, rearranging his expression into something that doesn't look like he's been wandering around the same two hallways for the past fifteen minutes with panic spreading through his chest. Because he knows exactly where he is going. He totally does. "What are you doing here? You know this is the staircase up to the Owlery, right?" Kibum asks.  "Yeah, sure, I-" Taemin nods, feigning confidence, but Kibum cuts him off halfway, seeming to have made the decision already, that he isn't going to play pretend and humour him today. "You don't own an owl," Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows, amusement written all over his face and Taemin can no longer deny that he's been caught.  "I'm late to Divination," He sighs, dejected. He hates how much help he needs with something that should come naturally to him by now. There had been stubbornness burning like a flame in his chest when he first left the Slytherin common room this morning. Determination to finally find his way by himself because it really isn't that hard. But the flame has become more of a faint glimmer at this point. At least he did make it to a tower, though. That's an accomplishment. Even if it isn't the one he is supposed to be at right now. "Want me to take you?" Kibum wraps an arm around his shoulder and begins to guide him into the opposite direction without waiting for an answer.  "Aren't you supposed to be in class, too?" Taemin demands in a feeble attempt to steer the older boy's attention away from his hopeless struggle to find his way (and cover up just how tense their sudden closeness makes him feel).  "The professor is sick," Kibum says. "I was on my way to the Green houses 'cause I read about this really cool bulb that can be used to make people admit their darkest secrets and I could have sworn I saw some of them the last time I-" "That sounds terrifying, what the fuck?" Taemin blurts out, realising a bit too late that he shouldn't be cursing around someone a good bit older than him. Kibum doesn't even bat an eyelash though and 'Oh, that's right,' Taemin thinks. He keeps forgetting that formalities and honorifics aren't quite so strict here. "I'm not gonna use them on you, relax," Kibum chuckles. "You're not gonna use them on anyone, I hope," Taemin insists, disbelieving. "Of course not," Kibum responds, in the kind of voice that makes Taemin doubt his every word. "I'm gonna study them." "It's good to know how these things work in case someone does end up using them on you, you know?" Taemin isn't sure how to communicate 'Nope, I don't and that still sound terrifying' without sounding like an ass. So he lets out a vague hum and asks Kibum about his breakfast instead. Taemin sees him sitting with his friends sometimes - two guys from Gryffindor, one tall and lanky and the other short and bubbly, and sometimes a girl from Hufflepuff, with long blonde hair and a large assortment of colourful buttons pinned to her cloak. And Kibum keeps trying to make him join them. He hasn't had the courage to tag along yet, though. Most of his meal times have been spent alone, in the library or down in the Slytherin common room, reading about the Magical Creatures of Great Britain or messaging Jongin or thumbing through one of his favourite Manga. Kibum is all smiles as he talks about the newest events at their table. About Jonghyun who mistook one of his most awful tasting herbal mixtures for tea and almost threw up after he downed the whole thing and his best friend Minho and how he is preparing to try out for the Quidditch team for the sixth year in a row (and how he doesn't doubt for a second that he will make it in).  Nodding in all the right places, Taemin is proud at his mind for actually focusing on what Kibum is saying for once, instead of drifting off at the first chance it gets. He always does his best to listen, but fails to stay present more often than not. So it's nice to be able to pay attention for once. Not just fake it and hope no one notices. Especially because he likes listening to Kibum a lot.

Before he knows, they are standing in front of the large wooden door leading to his Divination classes and Kibum opens his arms in an exaggerated gesture of 'Et voilà, we have arrived'. Taemin laughs. "Thanks for your help," He says, feeling only mildly embarrassed at the habitual bow accompanying his words. He doesn't doubt for a second that he would still be wandering around the wrong part of school if Kibum didn't find him.  "Sure," Kibum lifts his hand in an exaggerated wave, adding a "See you later cutie," before he turns around to make his way back down the tower.  Taemin is ashamed to admit that the comment leaves him so flustered, he needs another five minutes to calm down enough to will his feet to move.

/

'This school fucking sucks. It's a goddamn labyrinth I'm telling you.' He texts Jongin later, only half of the added emojis expressing frustration and the other half being thrown in there simply because they are cute. 'You can always come back here,' Jongin replies, the picture he has attached alongside showing him sitting by the small pond of baby Firekoi they used to spend countless free periods at. Taemin chuckles at the utter lack of sympathy in his friend's words. It hasn't even been two months and of course nothing much has changed. But Taemin is always relieved to see how similar everything he left behind still is. The same pond, the same glowing Koifish with their golden scales and bright lights illuminating the water. And the same merciless best friend - although his hair is shorter than Taemin last saw it. He had threatened to get an owl and only send Jongin letters when he first moved to London just to pay him back for all the teasing, but there is no way he will actually resort to the Wizarding world's outdated mailing system. He isn't quite sure, why Muggles are so much more advanced when it comes to technology (or rather, why the Wizarding world is holding on to owls delivering their letters in handwritten form with such determination), but of course he isn't going to exchange his smartphone and its ability to send messages in the blink of an eye for an owl that will struggle to even make it from England to France. 'We've had your favourite sashimi like four times this week,' Another message pops up at the bottom of their chatroom, topped off with picture proof and all. 'Fuck you, I'm going to sleep.' Sometimes Taemin kind of hates his best friend.

///

The potion in his cauldron is of a deep purple colour, steam rising from its surface at a sluggish pace. Eyeing his half-emptied vial of unicorn horn powder in confusion, Taemin chances a glance around the room, his shoulders slumping when he realises everyone else hasn't even made it past the fifth step yet. Although he doubts it would be smart for him to accept any help from his fellow fifth years, either way. Because the colours of their potions are ranging from bright green to dirty orange, the latter of which looks far from healthy and the former of which is just utterly wrong, but hey, no one is asking him. 'Until the potion turns pink' it says in his textbook. But he has been adding more for a solid five minutes now and nothing has happened yet and this can't be right. He has made this potion before - more than once - and he's only ever needed a pinch or two at most. He hates asking questions, though, and their teacher is bustling about as new hands keep rising left and right and Taemin guesses he will have to figure this one out by himself. He just hopes he won't blow himself up in the process.

There is a pleasant sense of accomplishment fluttering in his chest, as he exits class twenty minutes later. His potion had turned out decent enough, albeit not quite how it was supposed to be. But he had figured out somewhere along the line that the concentration of the unicorn horn powder provided in Hogwarts simply isn't as strong as the one they used for their potions in Mahoutokoro. So that has been quite the discovery and definitely something to keep in mind for future Potion classes.  Paying no mind to the few students still hanging around in the corridor outside the classroom, he doesn't notice how one of the is whispering to the other, or how they get the kind of look on their faces that screams trouble, but the next thing he knows he is stumbling, some of his books landing on the ground in front of him while he just so manages to keep himself on his feet. "Oww, what was that for?" He demands to know, turning to glare at them as he crouches to gather his things. "Ohh, so you can speak English," The taller one says, feigning surprise. 'Of course I can,' Taemin wants to shoot back, because what kind of bullshit is that? But before he has time to open his mouth, the second student already beats him to it. "Why aren't you ever saying anything? You're not that special," They taunt, patronising, and Taemin doesn't understand what is happening. There is no time to feel embarrassed, because his Defenses Against The Dark Arts class starts in five minutes and he still has to take a quick trip to the restroom, and so it is only much later that he gets to really think about the incident and his stomach sinks just remembering their words. Because he knows full well that he hasn't spoken a whole lot in the few weeks he has been here. It's not a conscious decision, though. He has his talkative days - he does - but sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, he doesn't utter a word for hours even when he is with a friend. Doesn't respond with much more than single syllable answers or wordless shrugs or vague hums because everything beyond that takes so much damn effort. Not because he doesn't care about the situation at hand or he is trying to be difficult or has no interest in whatever his conversation partners (or teachers) are saying. Back home in Japan, it hadn't been too odd, for people to be on the quiet side. Hell, he's had classmates he'd spent years going to school with but couldn't recognise the voices of for the life of him because they spoke that little. But in a country like England with such a vastly different culture, he had been sure he'd stick out like a sore thumb. Just like he used to a few years back, when his parents sent him to England for summer camp every time summer vacation at Mahoutokoro came along. Kibum doesn't seem to mind, though and he had hoped that everyone else wouldn't, either. He knew it would only be a matter of time until someone would come along who did and he wishes he could have said something. Witty comebacks aren't his forte, though.

"Are you okay?" Kibum asks him later, after they run into each other out in the courtyard and Kibum makes him tag along on his afternoon trip down to Hogsmeade, because 'you don't have anything better to do, do you?' "Yeah, fine," Taemin nods, a little confused, because should he not be? "Minho said that he heard from Eunsook that some kids gave you trouble after class," The older boy tells him, tugging off his cloak to throw it over his shoulder. It is one of the few rare, sunny days and the temperature is just right. Just enough to warm up their skin without making them sweat, even in their school uniform shirts. "I'm not gonna let people like that ruin my time here," Taemin shrugs. Sure, he wouldn't mind if it never happened again. But he isn't naive enough to believe that there won't be any more moments like this. And maybe he can't be brave and cocky, but he wants to learn to be less affected.  "That's the spirit," Kibum nods in approval. "Seriously, though. If this keeps happening, let me know. I'm not just studying all these herbs for nothing," He makes sure to add and even if Taemin isn't planning to take Kibum up on the offer, he appreciates it.

///

"Japan?" The question is asked with genuine excitement - gleaming eyes and raised voice and all. "That's so cool, oh my God," Taemin responds to the boy's enthusiasm with a smile that's probably more confused than much else, because this kind of reaction is definitely a first.  His name is Jonghyun and he is one of Kibum's closest friends. That's about as much of an introduction as Kibum had been able to provide before Jonghyun began gushing about Taemin's home country. He is wearing the house colours of Gryffindor and Taemin sees him sitting with Kibum all the time. He is hard to miss with his bright pink hair in a crowd of students with relatively natural hair colours. There is another Slytherin - a girl with long blue locks - and a few others who opted for fiery reds and darkish greens, but no one is pink like Jonghyun. Taemin thinks it's pretty.  "What was it like?" Jonghyun asks, and it takes Taemin a moment to realise he is talking about Japan. "Umm," He falters. He isn't sure what the other boy wants to hear.  "What sort of a question is that?" Kibum drawls, coming to his rescue without intending to. "What's England like?" He asks, a pointed edge of sarcasm to the question that makes Jonghyun pout. "Don't be mean," He whines, but he doesn't actually look upset. It makes Taemin's heart swell, because it's pretty darn adorable. He already likes Jonghyun, even if he doesn't know how to answer his question without making it sound bland and obvious. He opts for, "It wasn't too bad. Muggle education sucked, but once I started going to Mahoutokoro, it was nice," and he is kind of proud of his response. Jonghyun on the other hand doesn't seem very impressed, though. "No, I mean, what was the country like?" Jonghyun insists.  "You know all the game arcades everywhere and the flashy buildings and everything?"  "Uhh," Hesitating, Taemin tries to think of a more exciting adjective than 'nice' or 'cool' (because he has been surrounded by it all his life, it's honestly nothing too special to him), but his mind seems to have decided to take a time out, because all that comes up is blankness. "I think Taemin will have to tell you another time, he's still gotta walk all the way over to the Green houses," Kibum chimes in and Jonghyun nods in understanding. Although not without making sure to remind Taemin "You definitely have to tell me more, though, I have so many questions." "Your next class is Herbology, right?" Kibum turns to him, prompted by the lost look on his face, Taemin assumes, and he nods. "Are you gonna be okay?" "Yeah, I got it," Taemin says. He doesn't. But he isn't going to admit that he still struggles to find his way around not only when it comes to the Slytherin common room, but with the entire rest of the school, too. Because that's just tragic. It has almost been four weeks. Whether Kibum actually believes him or not, he isn't quite sure. His expression gives nothing away. But he doesn't drop any doubtful comments, at least. So he must have been semi-convincing if nothing else. "All right," Kibum lifts his hand in a wave "See you later then." "Just take the corridor over there to get into the East wing, not that one," Kibum pipes up when Taemin turns to walk off into what's apparently the wrong direction. "You don't wanna end up in the Transfiguration corridor," There is a hint of amusement in Kibum's smile as he grabs Jonghyun's bag along with the few books he'd been carrying and throws it over his shoulder. Taemin flushes. Kibum saw straight through him, didn't he?

"I really wanna go to Japan someday," He hears Jonghyun tell Kibum and when he turns around to catch a last glimpse of them, Jonghyun is sneaking his hand into the other boy's. "Once we're out of here, I'll take you," Kibum promises, suddenly all sweet and soft and Jonghyun beams.  It's so cute, Taemin thinks he is going to melt.

///

Jonghyun and Kibum are a funny pair. Kibum spends half of his time being flirtatious to the point of it being almost ridiculous and the other half teasing the shorter boy. And Taemin wonders how Jonghyun isn't ever upset or annoyed or any of that.  Because Taemin knows he would be. Thinks he would be, at least. He's never dealt well with mixed signals (never dealt well with signals, period, but that's a different conversation entirely). But then again, it's Kibum and Kibum has a lot of quirks that simply need some getting used to. And Taemin figures that with how long they have known each other (five years and two months, Kibum had told him with pride shining in his eyes) Jonghyun is very used to everything Kibum does. Especially once he starts paying more attention and notices all those little things between them.  Always catches them with their hands intertwined, and watches as Kibum pulls Jonghyun into his lap or presses the occasional soft kiss into his hair. It makes Taemin wonder, but he doesn't ask. He figures it's just one of those things Kibum does. One thing to add to the mental note labeled "Kim Kibum" in the back of his mind. Fellow Slytherin, unashamed, oddly enthusiastic about Herbology and not afraid to be affectionate (and maybe more) with multiple people at once. Because it's Jonghyun who is with Kibum most often, but there are others, too. Some he's exchanged formal introductions with and some he's seen around, but hasn't been given a name to. (Not because they aren't as important as Jonghyun - far from it - but because Kibum is weary, as he later learns. Weary to invite him so deeply into his life so early on.) And Jonghyun knows. He definitely knows about them all and it does not seem to be an issue, but Taemin hasn't decided yet, what he thinks of it. He catches himself wondering a lot, though, if that's what Kibum wants with him, too.  It's never more than a passing thought. Nothing he loses sleep over and nothing he feels the need to speak up about. But it comes up every once in a while. When Kibum sends him one too many winks, or pulls him in for a hug or reaches across their table at lunch break to fix his messy bangs for him.  He hopes he doesn't, though. Kibum is nice and good-looking and Taemin does find himself staring sometimes, because he appreciates unique beauty and Kibum is the epitome of it, but he hopes Kibum isn't looking for more. If there is one thing he does know, however, it is that out of all the people Kibum is involved with, he likes Jonghyun best. No questions asked.

///

There aren't many places in the castle to be at night. Not officially, anyway, because students aren't supposed to leave the dormitories after eight. But even unofficially, Taemin hasn't found many good spots to seek a bit of solitude yet. At Mahoutokoro, Jongin and he spent hours upon hours at the pond for the baby Firekoi or up in the old Pagoda everyone avoided because of the rude pair of ghosts blocking the staircase past the third story. Just talking or watching the stars or sitting in silence while one of them dozed off. They never stayed for too long, because Taemin needs his eight hours of sleep, but it was always his favourite time of the day and he misses it. The world is so much more peaceful at night and people so much more quiet. Hushed whispers and soft hums and muted voices creating the most calming contrast to every day's noises. There is a spot a few corners from the Slytherin common room, though. Right by the painting of the lady in her blood-stained dress that has been his lifesaver more than once in the past weeks and spared him the embarrassment of having to ask for directions too often to count. A tower so narrow, the staircase doesn't fit more than one person at a time, but with an open platform on top. It was during what had to be his tenth time sneaking out the dormitory to find somewhere to retreat to that he first came across it. He had been so close to giving up and accepting that for as winding and large as Hogwarts was, he was going to have no luck finding what he was looking for. And he wasn't going to ask Kibum about it, either, because that would defeat the whole purpose of having a place for himself. Not once did he think to check where the door by the painting led to or whether it could be opened in the first place. But once he did, he was so happy he wanted to scream. It's exactly what he had been looking for this whole time - just the right amount of hidden and peaceful. Today, however, he is just in the middle of typing out a lengthy text to Jongin when he hears a soft sound like footsteps coming up the staircase. At first, he brushes it off as his mind playing tricks on him, because the castle is always filled with taps and creaks from every direction and he is hardly ever paying attention anymore. But then it happens a again, louder this time, and he tenses up when he realises someone is on their way up here. Eyes darting around, he tries to come up with the fastest escape route, but the only option he has is staying put (or jumping and hoping for a soft landing because it really doesn't look that high, but knowing his luck, he's going to flip mid-air and crack open his skull or some one in a million-bullshit like that so he won't risk it). Surrendering himself to his fate, Taemin waits in nervous anticipation. Anticipation that quickly morphs into surprise at the familiar head of pink hair appearing through the opening of the staircase. "Taemin?"  "Umm…hey?" Taemin offers an awkward wave, relieved to see that Jonghyun seems just as confused about running into him up here as Taemin does. "I see you found my secret hiding spot," Jonghyun observes with a smile, hesitating for just a moment before he sinks down next to him and shifts a bit to get comfortable with his back against the stone wall. "Oh, sorry," Taemin runs his hand through his hair - a nervous habit.  "What are you apologising for?" Jonghyun blinks, his voice soft and gentle and Taemin feels a squeal building in his chest. He gathers all his willpower to keep a calm and collected front, though, because he definitely can't allow himself to be weird. That's just embarrassing and he isn't planning to drop out of school because he acted all creepy like that. "I wasn't meaning to disturb," He explains, forcing the words out with much difficulty. "Oh, don't even worry about it," Jonghyun assures. "It's nice to have some company up here from time to time." "Do you mind?" Jonghyun holds up a book Taemin hasn't noticed before and Taemin can't quite keep up at first. He wonders for a moment if the older boy is trying to ask him to grab it for a second, but he quickly realises that that's not it.  Taemin shakes his head 'no' and Jonghyun offers him another blinding smile before he thumbs through the pages until he reaches a piece of parchment acting as a bookmark of sorts. 

/

Jonghyun wasn't kidding when he referred to the tower as his hiding spot, Taemin finds. He returns every other day - when the daily school life becomes overwhelming all over again or when he simply needs a bit of silence to answer his text messages - and like clockwork, Jonghyun joins him at the exact same time. Always with a book, always with a few questions about his day, and sometimes with a bar of white chocolate or two. What he is hiding from, Taemin has no idea, though. They don't talk much at first. Despite the older boy's request to hear more about Japan, he only ever asks a few simple questions about Taemin's day before he flips open his book and disappears into his own world for the evening. It is a little disappointing, Taemin thinks, because watching Jonghyun interact with Kibum, the older boy is so talkative and bubbly, he didn't expect all this silence from him. But then again, he isn't much different himself, so perhaps it simply isn't the best combination.  Except it's really nice once Taemin gets over the initial fear of Jonghyun not liking him. Because if he didn't, Taemin figures he wouldn't sit close enough to him for their shoulders to be touching, or make sure to grant him at least a few minutes of genuine attention whenever he first claims his spot next to him. And so it doesn't take long, for him to spend whole days looking forward to his evenings with Jonghyun.

///

"I'm a Muggleborn, that's the only reason shit like this happens," Jonghyun looks like he is ready to cry. Taemin's bed dips as the older boy sinks down onto it with a shaky sigh, his eyes glued to his bloodied arm as if he is scared the damage will spread further if he will avert his gaze for even just a moment.  "Stop that," Comes Kibum's voice from the other side of the room, filled with disapproval. "That's no reason to treat you this way and you know it," He says, and Taemin watches him hapazardly tossing boxes of all shapes and sizes onto his bed in search for god knows what. "But-" "There is no but," Kibum cuts him off, guiding his wand through the air with a cutting motion to close the curtains of their beds when two of their fellow Slytherins step into the dormitory. "You don't deserve it, period." He doesn't sound angry, but his shoulders are tense and his hands are trembling as he lays out an array of bandages and creams to treat the older boy's injury with and it isn't hard to tell how affected he is by the situation. "I wanna help," Taemin finally dares to speak up, just barely resisting the urge to cringe at the sound of his own voice, slicing through the tension-filled silence between them like a knife. Surely, there must be something he can do other than sit around and watch, though. Even if all he'll do is wipe off the blood on Jonghyun's skin to make it easier for Kibum to see what he is working with. "No, you're just gonna make it worse," Kibum says - uncharacteristically sharp - and Taemin feels like he has punched him straight in the gut. It is coming from a place of agitation more than anything. Taemin can tell. But it hurts, still.  The older boy realises his mistake as soon as he notices his crestfallen expression, eyes growing wide and panicked. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Taemin. I didn't mean it like that," Kibum quickly scrambles to apologise. "Don't worry about it," Taemin makes sure to smile as he says it, but it feels far from genuine. He is glad Kibum doesn't comment on it, though. "You can hold these for me," The older boy offers instead, grabbing a bottle of thick blue liquid and a small tin box for him to take. "I'll need the bottle first. Just unstop it and put a couple drops onto one of the cloths over there," He instructs, gesturing to his nightstand and Taemin obeys without any more prompting.  Jonghyun's arm is bandaged up in no time, the wound having looked far less severe after all the blood was gone, but Taemin can't understand why anyone would do this, regardless. From what he gathered, it happens all the time. Never like this, with visible marks to prove what words can't. But just the fact that anyone would touch Jonghyun at all, regardless of whether it it physical or verbal, makes Taemin's stomach churn.

/

Taemin is surprised when Kibum sneaks into his bed a few hours later; just as Taemin has slipped into his pajamas and stacked his pillows on top of each other. He is just there all of a sudden, his presence making the younger boy's heart skip a few beats because where the hell did he even come from? It's seriously starting to worry him, how much worse his tendency to space out has been getting, because there is no way Kibum is always creeping up on him on purpose. And yet he finds himself startled by him so often, it can't be healthy for his poor heart. The last time the older boy had actually slept in his own bed instead of wherever he goes on any other day must have been at least two weeks ago and Taemin knows he is gaping at him like he has seen a ghost. Don't get him wrong, he is happy to be graced by such rare night time company. But he had been sure that Kibum wouldn't leave Jonghyun out of sight for the entire rest of the day. If Kibum notices any of it - his surprise or his wide eyes or the hint of accusation in Taemin's voice as he blurts out 'What are you doing here?' - he doesn't mention it, though. "This happens to be my bed," Kibum responds simply - characteristic drawl perfectly in place - and then "Jonghyun says good night." And the smile on his face is fond, but there is an edge of sadness to it that is painful to look at. Jonghyun hadn't said more than a few words after Kibum and he had taken care of him and Taemin had been so worried, he spent the past hour doing nothing but stare at the ceiling. So he is relieved to hear that the older boy seemed to have spoken to Kibum, at least. Even if it wasn't much. "Hey Taemin," Turning to face him with his head propped up on his hand, Kibum looks conflicted for a moment before he says "I'm really sorry about earlier." "Don't worry about it," Taemin shrugs, "I know you didn't mean it like that."  Kibum can be a bit prickly sometimes. Even just knowing him for those past couple of months, Taemin has noticed that anxiety and stress don't do him much good. But his irritation has never been directed towards him before and it really hit him hard, to hear Kibum speak to him like that. He can't find it in himself to be upset, though.  "I still shouldn't have said that," Kibum tells him in a muffled voice, sinking back into his pillows and covering his eyes with one of his arms as he explains, "I'm just super on edge whenever things like this happen cause I feel like I should have been there to protect him, you know? Cause people never dare to do anything when Minho and I are with him."  "You realise that that's the real issue, though, right? He shouldn't need any protection just going about his school day to begin with," Taemin argues. He knows it's a century old issue and there isn't much they can do about it. But it isn't right for Kibum to blame himself for it either. "I know," Kibum lets out a heavy sigh. "I just hate that there is nothing more I can do to keep him safe," He says, and frankly, Taemin has no idea how to respond to that. Because he can only imagine how hard it is for Kibum (hell, it's hard for him and he hasn't even known Jonghyun for very long) and the last thing he wants is to invalidate that. Kibum doesn't actually seem to expect him to respond, however. "Do you mind if I sleep in your bed tonight?" He asks instead, after a long moment of silence. "Ohh, umm, I-," Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks as he fumbles for the right words. "No, not at all." He is already scooting closer to the edge, making room for the older boy to settle down next to him, but a sudden thought makes him pause. "With me in it, or…?" He asks, and Kibum look dumbfounded for a second before he starts laughing, only remembering halfway through to muffle the sound because most of their fellow Slytherins are already sleeping around them. "Of course with you in it, silly. What kind of a question is that?"  "I'm just making sure," Taemin pouts, but he can't help the smile that's taking over his face once Kibum is lying right there next to him. There is a safe distance between them even as they both turn to face each other, Taemin with his cheek squished against his green pillow and Kibum curled up onto his side with his arms hugging his legs. They talk about the most trivial things - with lazy silences sprinkled in left and right - and any touches they exchange are fleeting and unintentional at most, and yet Taemin swears he has never felt as close to the older boy as he does right then. And never so comfortable, either. "Are you falling asleep?" Kibum's voice reaches him through a haze, the palm that comes to rest against his cheek so warm, Taemin instinctively leans into it.  He doesn't like it sometimes, when Kibum touches him. He has yet to figure out why, because it's no different from whatever hugs and casual arms-around-shoulders he exchanged with Jongin on a daily basis, but it still makes his skin crawl on some days. But he has no idea what to tell Kibum or how to explain himself and so he just doesn't. Simply brushes it off as a strange mood and holds onto days like today, because today, it's exactly what he needs and it's so nice. "You're struggling to keep your eyes open, aren't you?" Kibum asks teasingly, and now that he is mentioning it, Taemin notices for the first time, just how hard he had been fighting to stay awake. Letting out a hum of agreement, Taemin allows himself to close his eyes, the soft sensation of Kibum's thumb stroking along his cheek the last thing he feels before sleep has taken over his consciousness.

/

"Hurry up, I'm starving," Is the first thing Kibum tells him as they get up in the morning. They somehow managed to miss breakfast (because it's a Saturday and Kibum had stopped trying to make him get up after receiving no more than a whine of protest in response for the third time in a row) and Taemin's tummy is begging for food, but he just can't be bothered to move any faster right now. It makes Kibum grumble unhappily, but at some point he simply takes it upon himself to speed up the process, tugging Taemin close to pull a fresh shirt over his head and smooth down his messy hair and oh well, that's something Taemin can work with. "We really need to get that goddamn draft fixed, it's fucking freezing in here," The older boy complains as they throw on their cloaks and finally get going and it's such a Kibum-thing to say, Taemin is still laughing when they have walked halfway through the school building. Sure, it really is freezing, but if he is honest, Taemin finds it actually isn't too bad if there is someone else in his bed to keep him warm. But he chooses not to tell Kibum that.

///

"I didn't think you'd get so passionate about Quidditch." "Well, we don't really play Quidditch in Japan," Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks at the playful nudge to his shoulder. He didn't realise how into the game he had gotten, shouting and grabbing at whoever happened to be sitting next to him (Jonghyun to his right and Kibum to his left, fortunately) and all. But Kibum seems amused at worst. "And it's been a really exciting game, don't you think?" Taemin asks as they ascend one of the many staircases leading back to the Slytherin common room, because he couldn't have been the only one to think so. He has watched his fair share of Quidditch games on TV and a handful of live ones, too, but today's game is definitely far up there in terms of entertainment and suspense. "It was," Kibum nods, good-natured. Taemin is glad he agrees. "Minho is amazing, how he just took the chance to jump off his broomstick to catch the Snitch and it actually worked," Taemin knows he is gushing. He is still all flustered, adrenaline rushing through his veins, and it's hard to shut up when everything is so fresh in his mind. Maybe he will feel stupid about it later. Once he calms down and has time to really think about how weird he is being. But right now he doesn't care. "Yeah, he's ridiculous like that," Kibum shrugs, but there is a fondness in his expression that's impossible to miss.  "He's amazing," Taemin insists and Kibum's smile only broadens at his words. "You're cute," He says, blunt as usual. And it is nothing out of the ordinary, but the words make Taemin falter, still. "I guess." Taemin doesn't mind being called cute. As long as people take him seriously regardless and don't belittle him, because in their eyes, cute is all he is, he doesn't mind at all. There is something about everything Kibum does - every little touch and every smile and most of all, the way he has just recently started slipping the endearment of 'babe' into their conversation - that is so full of natural affection that it makes Taemin feel incredibly uncomfortable, though. At least sometimes. That's his sole reassurance. That it is only sometimes. Just like it is only sometimes, that the older boy's touches make him all tense inside. Because on most days, he doesn't mind as much. Enjoys it a tiny bit, even. Which is good, because this, too, he doesn't yet know what to do about. Has no idea how to find words for what he feels without sounding like a terrible person and ruining whatever kind of friendship is building between them. "No, you definitely are," Kibum insists, cutting off his train off thought and successfully pulling him back into the present. "Really cute." And Taemin smiles, because he might not be happy about it always, but today he absolutely doesn't mind.

///

It is just Minho and him in the library that day after dinner. Kibum and Jonghyun had left early to do God knows what (homework, according to Kibum, but from the look Jonghyun had given him, Taemin doubts they'd be getting anything done today even if they wanted to). Taemin had mentioned his search for a book about his five thousand word Defense Against the Dark Arts essay that is due in a week and Minho decided to keep him company because he finally has a free evening for once. He choose the topic of the Black Lake and its creatures, realising too late that so little sources existed about it, he would probably have to jump in there himself and gather information firsthand to reach his word count, so a lot of filler words will be needed. Minho and he haven't spoken a lot before, because the older boy is always up and about - attending Quidditch practice, performing prefect duties, tutoring first and second years, you name it - and it's awkward. At least, Taemin thinks it is. Minho on the other hand hardly seems bothered. He asks a few questions that are easy enough for Taemin to respond to and nods encouragingly whenever he struggles to find the words he is looking for (because Minho isn't quite like Kibum who is content talking and stops asking questions once he realises it's one of those days again, where it's just hard for Taemin to talk, so he actually has to go along with it and make the effort to use his vocal cords). But it isn't too bad. Minho seems to have an infinite amount of patience and Taemin is grateful for that. Apparently that's a thing Kibum and Minho have in common, even though Kibum's patience is a lot more subtle than Minho's. "You did really well out there at the Quidditch game," Taemin says, once the silence stretches out for too long and he feels like Minho is hoping for him to speak up.  "Thanks," Minho beams at him, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I had to do my absolute best 'cause Jonghyunnie came to watch," He chuckles, explaining "He hates Quidditch," when Taemin pulls up one of his eyebrows in question. "Especially since that one time in third grade where I broke five ribs after being hit by a Bludger." "So it's always an honour to have him there," Minho nods to himself, and it is such a formal thing to say, but the older boy seems to mean every word, if his bright smile is anything to go by.  "We never had anything like Quidditch in Japan. A team play kind of thing," Taemin muses, recalling all the times he has returned from England after vacations wishing that Quidditch was as big of a thing in his home country as it is over here. "Nothing at all?" Minho asks, his eyes growing comically wide at the words. "Yeah," Taemin confirms, adding "Not at Mahoutokoro, at least." "But we do have Dragon lantern shows, if that counts," He says, remembering the many hours he had spent perfecting his spells to create the most intricate lantern to present for judgment. It wasn't about winning. Not to him anyway. Instead it was more than enough to be a part of the spectacle, watching his own lantern along with countless others glide across the sky in a dance never before practiced, but coming to them entirely by instinct. It's always been his favourite time of the whole school year. "Those are mostly an artistic thing, though," He quickly continues talking, because he is starting to feel nostalgic and he can't have that right now. "Ohh, and Koifish races." "Not Firekoi, though. Riding them would sear your skin off. Just the regular kind, you know?" He shrugs, figuring that Minho probably doesn't need him to explain the difference. Everyone knows why Firekoi are just about the very last creature you'd want to sit on the back of. Even the babies can cause the most horrible burns. "I literally have no idea what you are talking about, but it sounds cool," Minho admits, and when Taemin turns a little to glance up at him, his expression is one of utter confusion. It would be cute if it didn't look so funny. Minho has really huge eyes, he realises. But that doesn't take away from his handsomeness in the slightest. If anything, it only adds that special something to his appearance that catches your gaze and makes it linger. "I can show you pictures sometime," He offers and the huge smile Minho shoots him in response is totally worth it.

///

He grows closer to all of them over the course of the next two months. Minho teaches him Wizard chess and in turn, Taemin shows him how to play Shogi and whenever Minho has some rare chunks of free time, they spent their whole afternoons playing one round after the next. Kibum becomes his study buddy, because he is phenomenal at making him feel guilty for finding distractions in every ghost floating past them and every tiny movement in a painting catching his eye (it's not his fault Kibum always chooses the rooms with the most art on the walls for their study sessions), and it is effective if nothing else. As much as Kibum shakes his head at him, however, he is always there to remind him that he is doing so well whenever Taemin needs it most and doesn't ever hesitate to help him figure out just why his potions turn out wrong sometimes although he has never had an issue with getting them done just fine before. And at the end of the day, Taemin is more than happy to lift his duvet for Kibum to sneak under and lace the older boy's fingers with his. And Jonghyun, most of Jonghyun's and his time together is spend in silence, still, but every once in a while, the older boy will look at him with the softest of smiles and tell him about his favourite books (Taemin learns that there are a whole lot of those) and nap with his head in Taemin's lap and those are his favourite days. They are few and far in between, but he likes them a whole lot.  

///

The first time Jonghyun asks to kiss him, Taemin stares at him for what feels like a solid five minutes. Jonghyun had been sniffling as he told him about the fight he's had with Minho earlier in the day. It had been nothing too explicit, because Minho is Taemin's friend, too and it wouldn't feel right to hear about all the tiniest details, but it was more than enough for the younger boy to hold him and assure him that Minho loves him a lot and all they need to do is to talk it out. "I guess you're right," Jonghyun had mumbled, his voice muffled against Taemin's chest as his breathing slowed back down to a less frantic pattern and the tension in his limbs eased up. "Of course. I'm always right," Taemin had joked, his hand coming up to run through Jonghyun's hair in an affectionate manner. And Taemin had physically felt the shift in the air around the older boy at the gentle contact, but he didn't think it would lead to this. Didn't think Jonghyun would wiggle out of their hug to look at him and ask him the kind of question that send his mind reeling with confusion. "Sorry," Jonghyun deflates at his lack of a a response, the distance between them growing as he moves to settle down next to Taemin instead.  "I know I get clingy when I'm sad. You can just push me away, it's..." There is a pause as Jonghyun gazes at the ground, a far-away look in his eyes before he shakes his head as if to dismiss his own train of thought.  "Never mind." And Taemin wants to tell him that it's fine. That he doesn't mind kissing (not today, at least) and as long as that's all they are going to do and Jonghyun won't try to shove his tongue into his mouth, he can go right ahead, but it feels like he has missed his chance and it would be weird to say anything now. But he sneaks his arm around the older boy's shoulder, still, because he needs him to know that they are okay, at least. 

/

"Jonghyun," Taemin calls out the older boy's name as they climb the last flight of stairs to the Gryffindor common room later that same evening. His palms are clammy and his thoughts are racing and he knows he will regret not speaking up. He just knows. There is a look of confusion taking over Jonghyun's face as he turns around to find Taemin trailing behind, but it quickly transforms into something much softer when Taemin blurts out "You can kiss me." "I mean, if you still want to," He backpedals, because he doesn't want to sound more eager than he is. He has known ever since he shared his first kiss with someone that it wasn't ever going to become his favourite thing to do - wasn't going to even make it anywhere near the upper half of the list, really - but if Jonghyun is sad and he is able to help, he is more than okay with doing this.  "I just..." Furrowing his eyebrows, Taemin tries but fails to find the words to explain how he feels, a long pause making silence stretch out between them. "I don't always-" He takes a deep breath, encouraged by the way Jonghyun nods at him as if to say 'Hey, it's all right, take your time.' "I haven't really told anyone about this before 'cause I don't understand it very well myself but I don't want to be kissed always, and I don't want to always be touched, either," He confesses, feeling relieved when he realises that he isn't stumbling over his words like he feared he would. "Okay, I get that," Jonghyun says - missing no more than a beat or two - and Taemin is taken aback at the easy acceptance. But even more so when the older boy tells him, "It's the same for me, actually. But only with sex."  "Ohh, really?" Eyes widening, Taemin musters the older boy in disbelief, because he didn't expect that. Not at all. "Yeah," Jonghyun nods, and as he tells him how it's fine on most days - something he has no issue initiating, even, because he wants it very much - but every now and then, he can't stand to touch or be touched, Taemin feels like he has finally found someone who understands. Who has already discovered the words for something he still struggles to put a name to. They talk some more after that, about tomorrow's lessons and meeting up with Kibum and Minho in the afternoon to practice their spells at the Black Lake and Jonghyun does kiss him in the end. Quick and chaste and just right. Just enough for Taemin to feel entirely comfortable about it. "Thank you," Jonghyun whispers, and then, "Good night," and his smile is bashful as he looks at him. Taemin thinks it's adorable. He keeps standing outside the Gryffindor common room until the painting of the fat lady has shifted back into place, paying no mind to her moaning about hormonal teenagers.

///

"How are things with Kibum?" Jongin has called this time. At such an ungodly hour in the morning, Taemin has had a few curses thrown at him as he snuck out the dormitory and down into the common room to keep their conversation from being disturbed. It's been a difficult week for the younger boy and although Taemin knows he is terrible at listening, it's what his best friend needs. So for the past twenty minutes, he has tried to stop his mind from wandering (and failed) so many times, he can feel a headache coming on. But he had pulled through somehow and he is proud to say that he hasn't missed any of the essential parts of Jongin's story, either. "Oh, everything's good, yeah," Taemin responds, not quite prepared for the conversation to suddenly move on to him. "You didn't ask, did you?" Jongin drawls, exasperated.  "I'm gonna do it today, gimme a break," There is an edge of stubbornness to his voice, because he just didn't have the chance to bring it up yet, but he's totally going to do it. "You better," Jongin scolds. Taemin can't believe he is letting someone younger than him boss him around like this.

/

His chance comes a lot earlier than he would have liked, and Taemin finds himself fidgeting with nerves when he meets Kibum in the Great Hall for lunch a few hours later. It's stupid, because Kibum isn't the kind of person to get mad easily or jump to hasty conclusions without listening to the full story. But Taemin is worried, still. Kibum is already there, surrounded by enough food to feed another two people beside himself, but staring off into space without eating any of it. "Hey," Taemin greets, sinking down opposite of the older boy and Kibum's eyes snap up to look at him before he nods in acknowledgement and nudges a bowl with what seems to be the last two chicken wings on the whole table towards him. "I fought a first year to get you these," Kibum says, deadpan.   "You what?" Taemin's looks at him in shock, frozen in his seat. "I'm just kidding," Kibum laughs, assuring "I would never," but Taemin isn't sure if he believes him. This is the same person who has spiked a bunch of guys' drinks with some kind of undetectable poison after they waited for Jonghyun outside of class to throw a bunch of nasty sneers at him. They hadn't been able to attend class for days because of the burning blisters all over their bodies. Taemin is glad Kibum likes him. Because at least he won't have to worry about waking up with face deformities or green skin or whatever else those herbs of his can do. "Jonghyunnie will be a bit late," Kibum announces as he begins piling more fruit onto his already overloaded plate. "Someone in his class accidentally set loose a Demiguise in Care of Magical Creatures and it got away." Taemin pulls up one of his eyebrows in silent question and Kibum nods, laughing. "Yeah, I thought the same thing. Jjong's had nothing to do with it, though," He assures, but Taemin can't say he is convinced. He sure as hell wouldn't blame Jonghyun even if he did help the poor creature escape, anyway. Since the last Gamekeeper of Hogwarts left to pursue a life of solace somewhere deep in the Highlands, no one has had the proper skill to treat them right and even with the little experience Taemin has with Magical creatures, he could tell what a miserable state a lot of them are in. "Minho?" Taemin asks, and Kibum shrugs. "No idea." "I saved some mashed potatoes for him, though, just in case he decides to show up," Kibum gestures to one of the small plates between them, visibly proud of himself. It's really endearing. So much so that Taemin almost forgets what it was he had been so anxious about.  It hits him again soon enough, however, when he observes Kibum for a second too long and Jongin's question from this morning forces its way back to the forefront of his mind. "What's with the funny face?" "You look like you're in pain or something," Kibum reaches for one of the few bowls of strawberries left on the table, ignoring the displeased looks he receives from the group of girls sitting next to them. He offers it to Taemin and he takes out three of the biggest ones he finds, placing them on his plate along with the rest of his untouched food. "Are you okay?" The older boy asks, mustering him oddly, "I've got some pastilles in my bag if you're feeling sick." "Oh no, I'm fine," Taemin blurts a bit too quickly, the pitch of his voice much too high to be read as casual. Way to go Taemin, he thinks. Way to be super weird and suspicious about this. Shrugging, as if to say 'Suit yourself', Kibum turns back to his lunch and Taemin mentally curses himself because this would have been his chance. Now he has to bring it up himself, instead of latching on to the older boy's prompting and that's so much more difficult than admitting that no, he wasn't actually okay and he has a million questions ghosting through his head right now he feels stupid wondering about in the first place. "Kibum," Taemin begins, slow and hesitant, pushing the word past his lips like he is only just learning to speak and every syllable puts an unbearable strain on his voice. "Huh?" Kibum refuses to abandon his task of plucking the leaves off his strawberries, his gaze focused in a way that is so typical for the older boy. It's pretty admirable, Taemin thinks, how Kibum is able to muster such concentration for the most simple tasks when Taemin struggles to pay attention even when it comes to those. That's probably why Kibum's grades are so much better than his. And why studying comes a lot easier to him. But that's not what he wanted to ask Kibum about. Has absolutely nothing to do with it, actually, so he quickly brushes off the thought. "Some of the others told me to stop hanging out with you," He hadn't planned to bring this up. It was nothing but stupid gossip and he wasn't going to listen to any of it. Just like he hadn't listened all those times before, when they tried telling him that Kibum is gay (he's not, and dammit, why does it even matter?) or that he dates everyone and their mother (he doesn't) or that he just wants to get into his pants (also false). He enjoys Kibum's company too much to fuck it all up by letting all of that unsolicited advice get to him. But even so, he had failed to ban this particular accusation from his mind. Because as wild as his fellow students imagination seems to be, it kind of makes sense. And confronting his friend about it doesn't sound like such a terrible idea anymore. By far not as terrible of an idea as keeping silent does.   At least they can have a good laugh about it, then. And he won't have to rely on fancy theories in an attempt to fill in the many gaps in the logic himself.  "They said you're…" He hesitates, still, unsure how to make his next words sound as inoffensive as possible. "I'm what?" Kibum doesn't look fazed in the slightest. Just a little impatient, maybe.  "A werewolf," Taemin half-whispers, more dramatic than necessary. There it is. He said it. And it does make sense. If he ignores just how absurd putting it out there in the open like this really makes it sound, he can even think of a few arguments to prove a point. Kibum is hardly ever sleeping in his bed at night like any ordinary wizard should, after all (although he knows the older boy is usually with Jonghyun, but that might as well be an excuse, because it isn't exactly easy to sneak into a dormitory that isn't your own). And Taemin has often wondered why Kibum's robes are always littered with hair (animal hair, for sure) when his wizard pet is an owl. Just about the least hairy creature beside a toad, maybe. Granted, it's not much and there could be a million explanations that don't include the word 'werewolf' at all, but Taemin would sure love to hear those. Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows in response, anything but impressed, before a heavy sigh makes its way past his lips.  "I wish people would get their facts right for once, seriously." "So you are?" Taemin's eyes grow wide, something like awe in his voice, "A werewolf, I mean?" Pushing another strawberry past his lips, Kibum pauses in contemplation for a moment before he reveals "I'm a shapeshifter." Oh, Taemin thinks. Maybe that kind of makes sense, too? "Like an Animagus?" Taemin wonders, still struggling to connect the dots.  "Kinda, yeah," The older boy nods. "I didn't have to learn to do it, though. That's the difference. I always could." "Runs in the family," He adds. "But I honestly have no idea where the whole werewolf bullshit came from," Giving a small shrug, he clarifies, "My animal form is a cat," and Taemin barely manages to keep himself from cooing, because he loves cats.  "Oh wow, that's actually really cool," Taemin tells him, enthusiasm mounting as he tries to imagine the boy in front of him turning from his tall wizard self into a fluffy cat. It isn't what he expected, but he likes the thought. It's a whole lot cooler than turning into a werewolf, for sure. "Yeah, I know" Kibum says, a slight smile gracing his features, "Of course it is."

/

But in the following months, Taemin finds himself wondering more often than not, if Kibum really does know. Because even after making it an entire year into their friendship - even after sharing the kind of heavy and the not so heavy stuff one wouldn't usually start a conversation with - Taemin has yet to see Kibum take his animal form. And it's weird. They easily grow close to one another. Much more easily than Taemin ever remembers growing close to someone before, because Kibum is just that comfortable to be around.  But it's for that reason exactly, that he wonders why it's this part of Kibum's identity that he hasn't been granted a closer look at, still. Why Kibum has kept it hidden and locked away and hardly ever even mentions it to him. And why it took months of knowing each other - months of near heart attacks whenever Kibum popped up behind him in the most unlikely places, soundless, because that's what cats do - for him to learn about it in the first place. Taemin tries not to think too much - tries not to fall victim to his own gloomy thoughts - but on some days, it's hard to stop overthinking and he feels sad then. Wonders whether he should bring it up or whether it's safer to play along and hope Kibum will trust him enough to be more open with it some day. Because Taemin really does think it's the coolest thing and he wishes his friend would feel less self-conscious about it.

///

The castle is peaceful like Taemin has never seen it before, a pleasant quiet following him everywhere he goes. Most of his fellow students are with their families, spending their Easter holidays at home and it's both a strange but not entirely unwelcome change to the busy bustle he is used to. Steps coming to a brief halt in front of the entrance to the Slytherin house, he waits for the wall to open after offering the password before he slips inside the common room. It's late in the afternoon, so the few students still at school are probably hanging out down in Hogsmeade or in the library, just like he intended to as well. But when he went to search for Kibum to make the older boy tag along for a Butterbeer and some snacks, he was nowhere to be found. And neither were Minho and Jonghyun. So after taking a quick detour to snatch a couple of biscuits from one of the tables in the Great Hall, he decided to return to the Slytherin dormitory. The common room is just as deserted as the rest of the school grounds, two girls from a class below him the only ones lounging on a sofa in the corner with a bunch of notes strewn around them. The taller of the two is fast asleep, Taemin notices at second glance, and when he meets the eyes of the shorter one - Taeyeon, he remembers now - she offers a nod and a small smile. Nodding back, he awkwardly lingers in the archway for a moment before deciding that the gray weather is just about the most exciting conversation topic he can come up with right now and he wants to spare her the forced small talk. So he makes a soundless retreat and closes the door of the staircase behind him for good measures. Letting out an internal cheer when he slips into the boy's dormitory to find it empty as well, he already starts planning the perfect afternoon of pajamas, a good nap, some Yaoi manga and a bit of fondling between his legs, when he catches something odd from the corner of his eye. Something he is certain wasn't there when he left a few hours earlier. Stopping dead in his tracks, Taemin furrows his eyebrows at what he now recognises to be a bundle of fur lying atop his duvet. It could easily be mistaken for one of the other students' pets, cats being far from an unusual sight on the school's grounds (and even less of an unusual sight in their dormitories, filled with comfy sleeping spots from top to bottom). But bright green fur isn't exactly a common colour even for a wizard's cat. And as if that alone isn't already enough for Taemin to grow suspicious, the fact that it's the exact same dirty shade of green Kibum had dyed his hair in just a few weeks ago definitely is. Taemin can't say he has much of an idea about how this kind of shapeshifting works, but he doesn't need to to be able to connect the dots. Approaching his bed with the softest and slowest steps he can muster, Taemin finds himself hesitating, uncertainty rising high. If Kibum as a cat is anything like Kibum as a human, he won't appreciate having his sleep disturbed, Taemin muses, and he can think of plenty things nicer than having claw marks all over his face right now.  He is so focused on keeping quiet, however, he doesn't actually look where he is going, the cauldron he so carelessly left on the ground standing right in his path. Jumping in shock when a sudden clatter rips him from his thoughts, his eyes dart around for the source of the noise and he curses himself not for the first time, for always leaving his shit lying around. Nine times out of ten, there isn't no point in bothering to pick up after himself, but sometimes, days like this one come along and he finds himself wishing he wasn't such a mess. Chancing a careful glance towards his bed, where Kibum had been dozing away just a few moments prior, Taemin isn't surprised to find his friend alert and on his feet. Kibum's features are a lot less expressive as a cat but his feline eyes are wide and his back is arched and Taemin doesn't need anyone to spell it out to him, to figure that the older boy is just as startled as he is. Stepping closer to the edge of his bed, Taemin offers a sheepish smile and a small wave. He feels kind of stupid. And Kibum probably does, too, because his paws are rooted to the spot as he stares at him, unblinking. His friend manages to shake himself out of his stupor quicker than Taemin, however, already preparing to jump off the bed and make a speedy retreat to god-knows where and Taemin panics. "No, it's fine, you can stay. I don't mind," He interrupts with maybe a little too much urgency in his voice, if the skeptic glance from Kibum is anything to go by. But he is finally getting to see Kibum as a cat and the last thing he wants is for the older boy to feel like he can't be himself around him. Wizard-shape or not. "But make some space for me," He adds as an afterthought, flapping down face first the second Kibum has scooted over, uncaring of the drawn out mewl of protest Kibum lets out. 

/

When Taemin wakes up two hours later - from a nap that was not at all planned - Kibum is sitting next to him in his full wizard glory, skimming through the pages of what Taemin vaguely recognises to be one of the Manga (not a Yaoi one, fortunately, although it doesn't really make a difference) from the stash he had brought with him. As if the past few hours had been nothing but a strange dream. But Kibum is in his bed and there is cat hair all over his pillows and his imagination might run a little wild sometimes, but never like this. Before his sleepy thoughts have the chance to carry him further into the abyss of racing thoughts, Kibum is already turning to look at him, though. "You read some weird shit," The older boy observes, unimpressed. "Is this what Muggles in Japan are into?" He asks and Taemin groans, his eyes squeezed shut as he stretches his arms above his head. He is surprised his brain even manages to make sense of the older boy's question through the heavy fog clouding his thoughts. "It's what everyone in Japan is into," Taemin tells him, his voice still thick with sleep. It's a Shonen manga after all. Who doesn't love those? "Even this part?" Kibum insists, shoving an opened page under his nose that shows the female lead in a poor excuse of a bikini, the fabric stretching tight over her massive boobs. Taemin snorts. "Oh yeah, especially this part," He confirms, his initial amusement transforming into full blown laughter at the scandalised look taking over his friend's features. He should definitely take Kibum to Japan some time. It would be hilarious to watch him lose his mind over all the quirks and peculiarities of his home country. "This whole shapeshifter thing is really cool, you know," Taemin remarks, the need itching in his bones, to somehow communicate to Kibum just how much he appreciates to have seen him in his animal form. If only to give his friend whatever assurance he needs. Because with the way Kibum is side-eying him, still, it isn't hard to figure out that insecurity is weighing him down once again. Even if Taemin has yet to understand where it is coming from in the first place. "Not the most useful ability, maybe, but really cool." "You make a cute kitty," He winks, another fit of laughter bubbling up inside of his chest when Kibum shoots him a sharp glare. "Shut up."

///

It doesn't take long, until the whole thing becomes something like a routine for them. The seventh year's tests and assignments are a heavy burden on Kibum's shoulders and even though it has only been a month since the end of summer vacation it already shows. In his constant tiredness, especially, but in a lot else, too.  He is much less communicative, for one, talking so little on some days, it sends Taemin's worry soaring. And he's irritated, too. Never with him or Jonghyun, but with Minho sometimes - and just about everyone else. It would be funny, watching their fellow Slytherins duking their heads or straight out bolting at Kibum's sight if the older boy wasn't struggling so much.  The only thing that seems to help make the situation bearable is shifting. At least, Taemin assumes it does, because if Kibum isn't studying, he is curled up in Taemin's lap or on his bed, every spare second spent as a cat now that Taemin finally got to see him like this for the first time. Taemin figures there must be something calming about it. Or maybe it just makes life a bit simpler, to be small and cuddly and not have to worry about responsibilities for a bit. Either way, Taemin is glad Kibum wants him to be there. He isn't as naturally comforting of a presence as Jonghyun and he isn't as caring and kind as Minho, but he can be here. If that's what Kibum needs, he can be by his side for however long. At first, Taemin keeps his hands to himself. It's purely without thinking that they twitch into Kibum's direction sometimes, itching to pet his head or stroke along the length of his feline form like he would with any other pet he comes across on the school grounds, but it feels too intrusive in a way. Like overstepping a line not meant to be crossed. Because Kibum hadn't intended for Taemin to see him like this to begin with. And even though Taemin still isn't sure why, the awareness alone is enough to stop him from giving in to his instincts. It isn't a new or unusual thing, for his mind and body to fail at working in tandem, however, and so it is only a matter of time until he buries one of his hands into Kibum's fur entirely on instinct. His friend's response is immediate, his tail freezing mid-sway and Taemin recoils like he has been burned. He feels terrible the moment he realises how unnecessarily vigorous of a reaction he's had, but rather than being offended, Kibum seems concerned above everything else. Musters him as if he isn't sure what to make of his rejection and paws at his arm until Taemin stops avoiding his gaze. It isn't always easy to read Kibum even in his usual wizard form, though, and it's more difficult still, to try and figure out what he wants to tell him when he has no words to get his point across. So when he dives down to nudge Taemin's leg with his head now, the younger boy can only guess what the meaning of it is supposed to be. "Do you want me to keep going?" Taemin asks, cautious and more than ready to backtrack in case he misunderstood, because the last thing he wants is to do something Kibum isn't comfortable with. But Kibum butts his head against his leg a second time in what Taemin recognises to be agreement before he takes a leap and half-jumps into Taemin's lap. Half-jumps, because before he even has the time to really make it there, Taemin lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak and all but shoves him to the opposite side of the bed. "Actually, let's not do that," He tells him, because that's a terrible idea. Really damn terrible. Zero out of ten wouldn't recommend.

/

"You're ticklish," Kibum observes later, a teasing grin splitting his face. "Maybe I am," Taemin shrugs, feigning indifference, but the last part is distorted by another squeal when Kibum tries to jab his finger into Taemin's tummy. "That's very dangerous territory," Taemin warns, hands raised protectively in front of his lower abdomen as he takes a few breaths to calm down after the scare. "Noted," Kibum assures, but the corners of his lips are twitching uncontrollably as he tries to keep himself from laughing and Taemin is almost sure his friend will go out of his way to use the discovery to his advantage from now on.

/// 

It's a couple nights later that Taemin wakes up shivering. Although shivering is still too tame of a word to describe the quivers that are wrecking his body. Letting out a soft groan, he tries sitting up only to find the world around him spinning. Quick and blurry and leaving his head pounding with pain.  He tries to get up anyway, but he ends up stumbling face first into Kibum's bed, missing the older boy's sleeping figure by a mere inch or two. Kibum is a light sleeper, though and the impact is more than enough to shock him awake.  "Taem?" The older boy's voice calls out, way too loud and up close for Taemin's taste. His answer is an unintelligible sound that speaks of suffering and disorientation but when his gaze meets Kibum's, there is an undeniable hint of amusement twinkling in the older boy's eyes. Asshole. He can't believe Kibum's sympathy for him is so painfully nonexistent on some days. "Don't laugh at me, I'm dying over here," Taemin complains, not even trying to stay on his feet anymore as he gathers the last bit of his strength to pull up his feet onto Kibum's bed. "Sorry," Kibum says, without actually sounding sorry in the slightest. But he reaches out to feel his forehead, at least. "You're burning up." It's a fairly unnecessary observation, because he is hot all over, so of course he is burning up, but he doesn't want to act all snappy right now. He just wants Kibum to make it go away. "I feel like shit," He rasps. "We need to take you to the Hospital wing," Kibum announces, but he mere mention of the place makes Taemin shake his head. "Definitely not," He exclaims, another groan pushing its way past his lips when the movement sends a particularly violent wave of dizziness through his body. He hates the Hospital wing and all the disgusting medicine they force you to swallow there. And the ghosts that won't let you sleep in peace. And the thin mattress that always makes his butt hurt so bad, it's torturous to walk for days after. In short, he wouldn't go there voluntarily if he was dying. There is disapproval written all over Kibum's face at his unwillingness to cooperate, but Taemin sure as hell won't let it stop him. "I'm not going," He repeats, somehow managing to sound forceful even with the violent coughing he breaks out into as soon as he has uttered the last syllable.  "Why are you always so stubborn?" Kibum looks so done with him, but he just doesn't understand. Taemin really hates the Hospital wing. "Just…" Taemin pauses, his brain struggling to provide him with the words he is looking for. That, at least, is nothing new, though. He doesn't actually need to have a sky-high fever to fail at speaking. "Don't you have some of your strange herbs for this?" "They're not strange herbs," Kibum narrows his eyes, looking offended for a moment, but in the end he sighs and nods. "Whatever," He rolls over to rummage through the drawer in his bedside table in search of whatever vials and tins and boxes he keeps in there. Taemin wishes he'd just come back and hold him and let him suffer in peace. But all Kibum does is roll his eyes when he tells him exactly that. Pulling out a small bundle of leaves, Kibum considers them for a moment before he mumbles a spell Taemin doesn't catch and they shrink down to almost half their size. Seeming far from satisfied with the result, the older boy gnaws at his lips in uncertainty but decides soon enough that one more time can't hurt as he utters the spell once again. "This should work," Kibum nods to himself. "Here, try it," He presents Taemin with the now dried up leaves, shoving them right under his nose as if that alone is going to be enough to help somehow. "Is it necessary for them to be dried?" Taemin asks, one part curious and the other greatly suspicious. Although Kibum's expertise with Herbology is infamous and he has always been nothing short of fascinated above everything else. If it was him, he would probably be dead already because he would have managed to poison himself years ago. He puked his guts out twice and even fainted once at Mahoutokoro, when Jongin and he searched for a simple red flower with a name Taemin couldn't recall even if he tried and ended up with Hellbore instead. Jongin had told him the colour wasn't quite right but Taemin's conviction couldn't be swayed. The next thing he remembers is waking up on the moist forest ground. Not his proudest moment.  So he is glad Kibum knows what he is doing, at least. Because he sure doesn't. "If you don't want to spend the next two days with your head in a toilet bowl it is, yeah." "Just don't expect anything too tasty," Kibum warns. "And stop flailing around. We have to keep you warm." Allowing his friend to drape the duvet over him, Taemin shifts a little to get comfortable before he squeezes his eyes shut and shoves the leaves into his mouth, his face scrunching up as he chews and swallows as quickly as he can. "Good?" Kibum asks, the smile in his voice audible to Taemin even with his eyes still closed. "Not exactly," He says. "Doesn't taste as terrible as I thought, though." "Of course not, I wouldn't give you anything that tastes terrible babe," Kibum presses a kiss to the top of his head and despite the cold still making Taemin's body shake, he swears he is all but melting at the contact. He loves when Kibum is being so soft with him. "But seriously, stop fidgeting," The older boy reminds and Taemin lets out a scratchy laugh as he settles against his friend. 

/

The next time Taemin wakes up, the sun is already starting to rise. He is shaking again, but with laughter this time and Kibum's initial worry over the noises he lets out soon evaporates when he realises Taemin isn't in pain. "What the hell?" The older boy asks from the other side of the bed, obviously having not quite decided yet, whether to be amused or bewildered at his odd behaviour. "I had the strangest dream," Taemin manages to force out before another laughing fit interrupts him midway. He isn't entirely awake yet, the last edges of sleep still blurring his consciousness, but he can't stop laughing. "Actually, it wasn't even that funny, but-" He has to cut himself off once more as he is thrown into another fit of laughter. "What was it about?" Taemin tries for a second, to articulate himself. His chest is hurting and he can barely breathe, though, and it's totally not working. "Oh God, what is wrong with you?" Kibum asks, but he is laughing now, too. Even if Taemin is pretty sure it's only because he makes such a funny picture. "It's your herbs," Taemin claims, still a little winded and Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows in response before he drawls, "Yeah, just blame me, go ahead," the words followed up with a mostly unintelligible mumble about ungrateful friends and never helping out again. Taemin is glad he can always count on him. "You're still pretty hot," The older boy tells him as he reaches out to check his temperature again after some more muttering about how he really can't be that sick if he's so giggly so early in the morning. "I'm always hot," Taemin winks, lips stretching into a grin. Kibum rolls his eyes. "You haven't even been awake for five minutes and I'm already done with you. Good job," He says and Taemin chuckles. "I do what I can." "I'm feeling better though," He announces and Kibum finally smiles at that, all soft and sweet. "I'm glad."

///

Jonghyun looks like he hasn't slept in days when Taemin joins him up on the tower again for the first time in weeks. There are dark bags under his eyes and he hasn't even brought a book today, but clutches onto one of the Manga Taemin had lend him instead - a story that's meant for easy entertainment more than anything. "It's good to see you," Taemin greets, a smile taking over his face despite the older boy's state because he really is excited to spend time with him again. Jonghyun cracks a tiny smile of his own before he all but collapses on the ground next to him, his body leaning heavy against Taemin's side. Jonghyun had only been allowed to entered the seventh school year at Hogwarts with much difficulty despite his good grades. The situation for wizards of his kind had come within a whisker of escalating more than once in the past few years. And escalate to the point of Kibum, Minho and him fearing for Jonghyun's safety, no less. But it wasn't until the middle of summer break, after an entirely peaceful but 'highly controversial' protest (the Daily Prophet's words, not his) for Muggleborn equality that everything began spiraling out of control. With such speed and intensity, they could barely keep up with everything that was happening until Jonghyun already found the first letter from Hogwarts on his doorstep. A formal notice that things didn't look very good and the headmaster couldn't promise him the possibility of return. They made it work in the end - just barely. But as powerful as a milestone as it had been, Jonghyun and so many others are the ones to bear the brunt of it. Taemin hates it. He thinks it's outrageous, that something like this is happening once again.  Things had been peaceful for a decade or two after the Great Battle of Hogwarts and he'd expect his fellow witches and wizards to have learned from the mistakes of past generations, but hatred against Muggleborns never died down completely and there had been multiple occasions just like that time they had to bandage up Jonghyun's arm, during which Kibum had to accompany Jonghyun on his way to class or back to the safety of the Gryffindor common room to keep the older boy from getting hurt. But that was last year and it's even worse now. So much worse. And the older boy's dark circles and equally dark bruises are only one of many painful proofs of it. Taemin had learned quite a bit about the Western Wizarding world's oppression - and in some cases, straight out hatred - of Muggleborns at Mahoutokoro, but witnessing it first hand had been downright mind blowing to him. Hearing some of the taunts and curses thrown Jonghyun's way (much more vile even, than the dirty looks Kibum has to put up with) stunned him into silence more often than not. In Japan, Muggleborns are celebrated as a great gift - a beautiful alignment of fate that had made it possible for a Muggle family to bear a magical child - and to Taemin, Jonghyun is exactly that. Amazing and wonderful and undeserving of all the hurt he is being put through. "Are you holding up okay?" Taemin asks, his arm slipping around Jonghyun's smaller frame to pull him closer. Jonghyun nods as he leans into the touch and lets his head fall onto Taemin's shoulder.  Searching his brain for anything he could say to provide his friend with some much needed distraction, Taemin latches onto the first thing he sees.  "Are you liking the Manga so far?" He asks, catching its brightly coloured cover out of the corner of his eye. Jonghyun seems confused for a moment, his eyebrows scrunching up, and Taemin thinks it's beyond adorable. "Not exactly," He answers truthfully, a shrug accompanying his words. "Really? What's the issue with it?"  "The portrayal of the female characters," Jonghyun says, a bit of light returning to his eyes. "I don't like it. You know how they are all introduced as these strong women at first and you're thinking 'Finally, some good representation,' but by the tenth volume the artist completely ruins it by making them do all this irrational stuff and turns them into the typical Shoujo characters we've seen a million times before? I've never read a character development that's been worse, seriously. Why bother painting them as tough girls if he gives up halfway through and ends up forcing them into easy stereotypes after all?" Taemin is pretty sure he hasn't grasped half of what Jonghyun just told him - especially once his speaking speed picked up somewhere in the middle - but he's heard enough to get the gist of it. "Did you never notice that?" Jonghyun wonders at the look of confusion that has taken over Taemin's face and Taemin has to admit that no, he totally didn't. Not once. "I guess I didn't pay much attention to the girls?" He tells him. "I just care about the action scenes." "Of course you would," Jonghyun giggles and Taemin can't help but mimic the expression. Jonghyun's laughs are infectious and it's adorable.

/

It's only two days later that Kibum snaps - when Jonghyun shows up to lunch break with a black eye and a split lip - and smuggles the older boy into the Slytherin dormitory for the first time, because sleeping by himself just isn't safe anymore. Taemin wonders why no one ever stops them, but he doesn't want to ask and risk having their luck slip straight through their fingers. "Even if they'd try to, I wouldn't give a flying fuck," Kibum tells him when he does bring it up at last. It is only much later that he learns that even the teachers knew about Jonghyun's nights spend in the Slytherin dormitory. They knew but chose to to turn a blind eye on it, because many, if not the majority, of them didn't agree with the treatment of Muggleborns, but couldn't do much else to help.  Some of their fellow Slytherins weren't quite so kind, but Taemin expected far worse than the few glares they had thrown their way. Taemin figures it's thanks to Kibum, who can be pretty scary and intimidating if he needs to be. And had openly threatened to accidentally spill a few drops of some highly toxic tincture into their teas if they didn't behave. Which might have helped, too. It isn't ideal and Taemin thinks it's horrible they had to take such measures in the first place, but he finds himself smiling whenever he wakes up to see his friends curled up next to each other, still.  Kibum always makes a point of keeping Jonghyun close, a protective arm wrapped around him even in his sleep and it makes Taemin feel warm all over. He is so glad Kibum and him can be there for the older boy in difficult times like these. (And he especially likes the days when Jonghyun sends him a look from the other bed and gives a careful nod when Taemin asks "Do you have space for one more person over there?" and allows Taemin to reaches out for his hand while Kibum holds him tight.)

///

Kibum and him are striding through the corridors leading to the Slytherin common room when an unfamiliar voice calls the older boy's name from a distance away.  "Hey Kibum," They yell again, louder this time, and Taemin turns around to find a group of boys approaching. One of them is the same who'd been 'warning' him about Kibum all these months ago and Taemin is instantly alert. It's always the same few people who are unable to accept differences and those boys definitely fall into that category. The kind who talk shit all the time and can't walk past Kibum without dropping a comment and won't leave Jonghyun alone because he's a Muggleborn and he deserves it.  Subtly nudging Kibum to the other side of the broad corridor, Taemin tries to put as much distance between them as possible, the taunting laughs making his lungs constrict. "Did you take your potion today?" One guy asks and another adds "The full moon is out," finishing off with a poor impression of a werewolf's cry. Taemin can see the irritation taking over Kibum's face, his features twisting from what had been an unaffected mask all throughout the past few minutes to a seething sneer. And the other boys seems to be aware of the shift, too, ready to take on the unspoken challenge. Taemin doesn't like it.  It is painful enough to see the countless marks of conflict on Jonghyun's body every day and he really doesn't want Kibum to suffer through the same thing, too. So before his friend has the time to voice the litany of colourful insults he is getting ready to throw at them, Taemin has stepped in front of him. "Go bother someone else," He says with feigned bravery in his voice, before he grabs Kibum's hand to lead him away from the situation. He is surprised that no one tries to stop them, or throws some inappropriate comment at their retreating backs. But it's just as well. Taemin hates these kind of confrontations anyway. He never handles them as well as he would like. Letting go of Kibum once they're in the clear, he asks, "Is it just me or does this school keep becoming a worse place to be?" frustrated and disappointed, but Kibum doesn't answer. "I can take care of myself, you know," He says instead, and Taemin freezes on the spot, worried he's angered his friend, for a moment. When he turns to look at him, Kibum is smiling, though. The fond kind of smile Taemin adores so much more than words can express. "Oh, I don't doubt that," Taemin chuckles. It isn't the first time he witnesses something like this happening, after all. And Kibum is capable of dealing with it so much better than Taemin ever could, that's for sure. He always has the best comebacks and the perfect expressions to excerpt superiority - full of disdain and condescension. "That was sweet of you," Kibum grabs his hand again and gives it a tiny squeeze, and he doesn't let go until their walking up the stairs to the Slytherin dormitory.

/

Taemin loves Hogwarts. He really does. Enrolling had been like a dream come true - so much so that it made even the prospect of leaving behind his best friend in Japan seem manageable. But the incident with Kibum had been the last straw. The fatal blow to his tiny bubble of pink clouds and excitement he had floated in ever since he first arrived at Hogwarts. It isn't the first time someone is targeting Kibum and it is far from the only frustrating thing that's happened in the past year, but somehow it took that one confrontation for everything to finally come crashing down at him. And he hates how powerless it makes him feel. Because he can be there and he can stand up for his friends - in those occasional brave moments - but he can never really keep them safe like he wants to. Shield them from all the pointless hatred and the hurtful words and only ever tell them how beautiful and amazing they are.

///

Taemin can all but feel Kibum fuming as they make their way back to the Slytherin common room. The older boy's strides are quick - too quick for him to keep up with, almost - and his expression is tight with anger. It takes until rounding multiple corners and leaving the last of their fellow students behind, for Kibum to voice his frustration, though. "I can't believe they are doing this. It's so fucking messed up." "At least they will be allowed to finish the school year," Taemin tries to muster a little positivity, but Kibum crushes it right on the spot. "Ohh yeah, how gracious of them," He spits, all tense shoulders and seething words. Taemin is glad Kibum's anger isn't directed at him, because it scares him to see his friend like this. Kibum has always been the passionate type, but it isn't often that he gets angry and Taemin understands, but he doesn't like it. He never likes people getting angry. Before his discomfort has the chance to reach the point of being unbearable, however, Kibum's entire demeanour shifts - narrowed eyes and gritted teeth making way for hanging shoulders and heavy sighs. "Why is it always like this?" He asks, dejected.  "Why do we keep making the same mistakes all over again?" Taemin has no answer for him. 

Kibum sneaks outside again later that night and doesn't return until long after midnight, without Jonghyun in tow like Taemin expected. If it wasn't for his tail brushing against his nose, Taemin wouldn't even have noticed. But as graceful as Kibum is with his movements as a cat, he is always a little clumsy with his tail. Enough so for Taemin to be the one to pick up shards and broken items from the ground more often than he can count. "Where'd you go?" Taemin slurs, peering over at his friend with hooded eyes. Kibum looks like he is contemplating for a moment, his ears twitching into every which direction and his tail swaying from left to right. And it startles Taemin when he jumps back onto the ground only to stand a few feet above him all of a sudden as he shifts back into his wizard self, the transformation hidden in the dark. "Jonghyun," Kibum says simply, and Taemin is confused, because what where they talking about again? Oh yeah, right. He really shouldn't try and have a sensible conversation when his mind is so fuzzy, he can barely remember his own name. "You used protection I hope." "Shut up," Kibum says, but it lacks the sass he is very much capable of. That's never a good sign. "Is he doing okay?" Taemin asks, worry filling up his chest at every second of silence ticking by. The news of the day had been crushing to them. Hogwarts won't be allowed to accept any more Muggleborns from the next school year on (there will be a special school introduced for their kind and Taemin doesn't even want to imagine what that entails) and the ones already enrolled at school won't be allowed to take their N.E.W.T.s without passing multiple Ministry-controlled preliminary tests to determine their skills. Which they all know means that the Ministry will do everything in their power to make it as hard for them as possible. Stepping into his pajama pants, Kibum takes his sweet time responding and Taemin is getting ready to complain just as the older boy finally assures "He's fine." "You know he wasn't planning to get a job in the Wizarding world anyway. So it's gonna be okay," Kibum doesn't look convinced of his own words, though. Not really. But Taemin hopes he is right. Pursuing work in the Wizarding world or not, Jonghyun doesn't deserve to be treated this way. And he hopes Jonghyun knows that. "Why didn't you bring him?" Taemin asks, slightly more awake now. "Minho is with him," Kibum says, and then "Sometimes he needs Minho more than me. " Taemin nods. Jonghyun loves Kibum more than anything, but Taemin has learned that there are days where the boy's presence is a bit too intense and overwhelming. It's still hard for Kibum not to beat himself up whenever Jonghyun tells him that he needs some space and Jonghyun feels sorry every single time, but they are getting there. And if Kibum has a rough day and it's especially upsetting for him, to be send away, Taemin is always waiting right here to provide comfort. Today, Kibum is okay, though. Enough so to crack a small smile when Taemin lifts his duvet to invite him into his bed, even. 

Taemin doesn't comment on the dark hickey peeking out from underneath Jonghyun's school uniform collar the next morning or the matching one he spots on Kibum's shoulder as they are getting dressed. But he can't resist wiggling his eyebrows and shooting Kibum a knowing grin and Kibum looks like he is going to be done with him for the next five weeks at least. "Shut up," Kibum deadpans. "Never."

///

The sky is covered with fluffy grey clouds - the kind that look like someone has washed one of their pristine white blankets with their black skinny jeans by accident and stretched it above their heads instead of throwing it into the trash - and it has been raining ever since he first woke in the morning. A steady drizzle that might as well continue for the entirety of the week (and maybe next, too. Taemin sure wouldn't be surprised.) And it's the perfect kind of weather for a lazy Sunday. Absolutely stellar. Except Taemin has been on his feet for hours, excitement making it hard to sit still. "Why on earth are you so hyper today?" Kibum lets out a groan as he watches him all but jump down the hallways, barely able to keep up with his fast pace. "You're grinning like you won the lottery or something," The older boy says and Taemin thinks he might as well have. "I'm just happy," Taemin tells him, the disdainful glare Kibum sends him doing nothing to put a damper on his good mood. "We're all going to Hogsmeade together," He gushes when Kibum raises his eyebrow at him. Taemin has no idea how his friend doesn't share the same sentiment. It doesn't happen a whole lot that all four of them have the chance to spend an entire day together. Sure there is lunch and dinner, but even for those their little circle of friends is missing one person more often than not. "You're never this excited when it is just the two of us," His friend accuses and Taemin falters. "But I am," He pouts, not quite upset but still a little shaken. "You know I like you a lot and I love spending time with you," He makes sure to tell Kibum, because there an underlying trace of insecurity to his teasing sometimes and the last thing he wants is to feed into that. "Of course, I know. I didn't mean to upset you, baby," Kibum steps into his personal space to take a hold of his hand and Taemin easily accepts it. He has always liked how much bigger than his Kibum's hand is. Maybe he is biased, but he thinks they fit into each other perfectly.

/

They are not even on their second Butterbeer and Jonghyun is already properly buzzed. They had stopped by the post office, first, because Minho's parents still insist on receiving their mail the traditional way, before strolling through the village with no particular destination in mind. At least until Dogweed and Deathcap comes into view because there was no stopping Kibum from then on. They spent what must have been an entire hour squeezed into the tiny shop, standing by as Kibum admired their newest arrivals and attentively listened to every bit of information the old lady at the front desk provided him with. Jonghyun and he didn't dare to complain, but Minho wasn't quite so cautious and so before Kibum could use up even the last of the money he brought on colour-changing Chinese ginko leaves and deep sea algae, he unceremoniously guided Kibum out the door without paying his protests any mind. And Kibum had grumbled a little under his breath, but Taemin was surprised he didn't resist more. Perhaps he knew it was going to be futile. Or perhaps the promise of a drink at the Three Broomsticks was enough to have Kibum decide that he's heard enough about herbs today. "We'll have to carry you back to school if you actually finish that," Kibum teases as Jonghyun grabs his mug of Butterbeer with both hands before trusting himself enough to take another sip.  "I told you we should have just went for tea instead," Jonghyun whines, glaring at no one in particular but Taemin doesn't remember the older boy to have been very insistent in his attempt to sway their choice of establishment. It isn't a secret that he doesn't hold his liquor well, but Taemin had never actually seen it and it's adorable. Butterbeer is far from the strongest drink, after all, and yet Jonghyun has already reached a point of slurring his words. Even if it's just the slightest bit. "Come on, I'll order a tea for you," Minho gently eases the mug out of Jonghyun's hands. "Is peppermint fine? I don't think they have anything too fancy here." "Yeah, that's all right. Thank you," Jonghyun nods, but his eyes are glassy and unfocused and Taemin isn't sure if he even knows what he'd agreed to.  "Jonghyun," Kibum calls out, his Adam's apple bobbing with the last gulp of his own drink before he slides Jonghyun's half empty mug to his side of the table. "Yes?" Jonghyun lifts his gaze, questioning. "You're always so messy," Kibum says, and there is no particular intention behind the words, but Taemin can hear Jonghyun's breath hitch as Kibum reaches across to wipe off the foam along Jonghyun's upper lip. The older boy's mouth falls open almost on instinct and Kibum falters briefly before a wicked grin takes over his face as he slips his thumb inside. Just for a second. Just long enough to catch on his bottom row of teeth and tug at his lower lip and make Jonghyun shudder in his seat, before he pulls back. The whine of protest Jonghyun lets out is so loud, Taemin chances a careful glance around to make sure nobody is watching. But Kibum is unfazed. "Later," He says simply. Taemin can't believe he just had to witness that with his own two eyes. When Minho returns, it takes no more than a quick look at Jonghyun for him to notice the older boy's flustered state. "Why are you teasing him when he's already like this?" He narrows his eyes at Kibum, one arm coming to protectively sling around Jonghyun's shoulder as he reclaims his spot next to him. "He likes it, don't you baby?" Kibum shrugs, not looking sorry in the slightest, and judging from the way Jonghyun's gaze keeps finding Kibum's - his expression a mixture of impatient and hopeful - he has no reason to be. Taemin isn't even surprised when Kibum's bed lies empty that night.

///

Taemin loves Christmas. Not the cold, for sure, and not the snow, either. But the food and spending time with his family and giving out presents.  Especially giving out presents.  Jonghyun and Minho already got theirs early - a Charmander plushie for Jonghyun (sometimes Jongin actually is good for something) and a pair of gloves for Minho (handpicked by Kim Kibum himself) - and Taemin still feels all giddy whenever he recalls just how smiley they both got after the wrapping paper came off. Kibum is excited about the holidays, too. Last year, the older boy's parents weren't around for almost the entirety of December and January - because of a trip to America, to visit a couple of distant relatives, according to the older boy - and Taemin had insisted that his friend should come along to his family's celebration (plus Jongin who came all the way from Japan to see him, but he kind of counts as family, too) back then, but it never happened. Instead Kibum had opted to stay at Hogwarts with Minho and that was that. This Christmas, his parents have no plans of leaving the country, though and Kibum's eyes are shining every time someone asks him about it. It's adorable and Taemin is happy for him. It hadn't been easy for his friend to have no chance to see his parents the previous year and he is glad this time is going to be different. They board the Hogwarts express together and slip into one of the last empty compartments left. Kibum scolds him for propping up his feet on the seat opposite of his (and complains for five minutes straight when Taemin toes of his shoes because "Fine, I'm not getting it dirty anymore now. See?") but in the end they fall into peaceful silence as the train passes snowy hills and fields and tiny towns appearing in the most unlikely spots all along the tracks. Watching the world rush by, Taemin feels his eyelids grow heavier by the second and before he knows, his head is doing the embarrassing bobbing thing as he starts dozing off. "Sleepy?" Kibum asks, and Taemin is conscious enough to let out a soft "Huh?", but although he even manages to open his eyes, he struggles to keep it that way. Sees no reasons to waste his energy fighting it, really. All he needs is somewhere soft to rest his head, and sure, Kibum is infinitely more cozy and petable as a cat, but he's tired and his friend's shoulder looks beyond comfortable. At least compared to the scarce amount of other options he has - the cold train window and the hard armrest and not much else. So he makes the decision on the spot. His body must feel like a dead weight against the older boy, but Kibum doesn't complain. When he turns his head a little to get more comfortable, he can see Kibum grinning out of the corner of his eye. And the urge to tease him about it is strong, but in the end, Taemin decides not to comment on it. 

///

"My mum said she'd be waiting on the platform to pick us up," Taemin forces out between muffled yawns as they squeeze their way through family reunifications and heaps of lost students crowding Platform 9 3/4. "Does she look a lot like you? Just way shorter and with more meat on her ribs?" Kibum asks, and Taemin furrows his eyebrows, because yeah, she totally does. "How do you-" He begins, his voice filled with confusion. He never has the time to finish the question, though, because suddenly his mum is right there, hugging him and fussing over him and if she squeezes him any more tightly he swears he is going to suffocate. Pointing into his friend's direction, Taemin introduces him with an awkward mumble of, "Mum, this is Kibum." Kibum makes up for it tenfold, though as he sends his mother the most dashing smile and extends his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am." "Ohh my, our Taeminnie never told me what a handsome young man you are," Taemin's mum says, mustering Kibum from top to bottom before accepting his handshake. Taemin wants the ground to swallow him whole.

///

They drop Kibum off a few blocks from his home because he insists it's fine and Taemin is just a little sad that they won't see each other for two whole weeks. But Kibum is going to have a great time at home, he is sure. And he doesn't want to ruin that by whining about how much he is going to miss his friend. So he smiles and waves and hugs Kibum tight one last time and they part ways just like that. His mum gushes about Kibum and his good manners and his pretty face the entire rest of the way home and it's embarrassing, but Taemin can't say he disagrees with her. 

Once they have arrived, he lies down for a nap without bothering to unpack (he wouldn't even have stripped of his school uniform if his mother didn't scold him for wrinkling his dress shirt) and catches another three hours of sleep before his body finally decides he has rested enough for the day. His mind is fuzzy and he is still a bit unsteady on his feet when he staggers to the other side of his room to flip open his suitcase, so when a sudden buzzing sound cuts through the silence, he has no idea where it is coming from at first. But then it happens again, and again, in a suspiciously meticulous pattern, and Oh. Oh, right. He does own a phone, doesn't he? Frantically tossing boxer shorts and school books aside, he fishes the device from the depths of his suitcase just as the vibrations pick up a second time to signalise an incoming call. It's from an unknown number and Taemin stares at his phone like he hopes the intensity of his gaze alone will be enough to make it stop ringing, because he sure as hell isn't going to pick that up. Unknown numbers are begging to be ignored.  Breathing a sigh of relief when the call is turned over to voice mail, he thinks that whoever it is will call again if it's actually important. Or they'll never call ever again. He could live with that, too. Luck isn't on his side today, however, and it's less than a minute later, that the vibrating picks up again. Taemin swears it sounds more insistent this time, even.  And he struggles to make the decision to pick up, his body all but fighting him as he begins reaching out, but in the end, he manages to drag his thumb over the screen and lift the device to his ear.  "Yes?" He asks, careful and ready to throw his phone across the room if someone tries to talk to him about Jesus or congratulate him for his one million pound lottery win. "Finally, for fuck sake," Kibum's voice sounds from the other end of the line, annoyed but oddly relieved, even as he asks, "Do you always take this long to answer your phone?" "Bum?" Taemin blinks. He didn't expect that for sure. "Where did you get my number?"  "From you?" Kibum drawls, clearly impatient.  "Can I come over?"  "Umm, yeah?" Taemin is confused. Very confused. He's been home for no more than five hours and he didn't expect to hear from Kibum any time soon. Wasn't even sure if they would be in contact at all until their trip back to Hogwarts after the New Year. "Right now?" He asks, his brain barely able to keep up with the sudden request. "Good, I'll be there in a bit," Kibum says simply and hangs up before Taemin can complain about his question being so blatantly ignored. Sometimes Kibum really is kind of unbelievable.

"Okay, what's up?" Taemin demands to know the second they got the awkward introductions and half-assed explanations out of the way. (Kibum came up with some white lie on the spot and Taemin nodded along without listening, because he knows Kibum so much better than that). "You know I'm thrilled to have you here and stuff, but what's going on?" Making a quick gesture to invite Kibum to sit on his bed, Taemin plops down without much finesse, hoping to break some of the odd tension between them. A look of conflict passes over Kibum's face, and he takes his time joining his friend, the silence between them becoming harder to bear by the second. "My parents were fighting," He admits at last, his eyes jumping all across Taemin's room to avoid his gaze and Taemin's heart sinks at his friend's hunched shoulders and uncharacteristically meek voice. "Lots." "With you? Or with each other?" Taemin wonders. He isn't sure what he'd expected to hear. Had attempted to come up with a reason for Kibum's request the moment their phone call ended, only to turn up empty-handed every time. All he knows is that by the time Kibum arrived, his chest was tight with worry. "Both," Kibum looks like it pains him, to keep speaking, and Taemin wants to tell him that it's okay. That he doesn't have to force himself. But Kibum seems to have made up his mind already. "They found out what I'm doing at school," He says, and Taemin has no idea what his friend is talking about, until Kibum elaborates "You know being involved with more people beside Jonghyun." Because that kind of makes sense. As much as Taemin wishes it didn't. "The headmaster contacted them about it after someone 'voiced their concern' or some shit like that," Kibum goes on, his voice turning bitter and Taemin's eyes grow wide. "Are you serious?" Kibum nods and Taemin doesn't even try to hide how much it pisses him off that anyone would do something like this. "That's so messed up, what the hell?" "I mean…I get that people don't understand. I don't expect them to," Kibum says. "But I wish they'd mind their own fucking business." "I'm sorry," Taemin knows it isn't going to fix anything, but he feels the need to say it anyway.  "It's okay. I just need some time away from home right now," Kibum says, scooting closer to rest his head on Taemin's shoulder. "My parents will get around. They always do," Taemin feels him shrug, a weak little motion, and Taemin can't help but wonder how often this happens. He doesn't think there is anything about his friend that warrants any freak outs. Disapproval, maybe, or concern, but most of it is irrational above everything else.  He doesn't intend to ask about it, but Kibum knows him too well by now. Well enough to read the question in his eyes without him uttering a single word. "They knew about Jonghyun and me for a long time. And they couldn't stand the thought of it at first," He says, teeth worrying his lips. "It's all about maintaining face to them. Being a perfect and pristine picture of a family. You know," The pause is followed by a shaky sigh, and then "The kind that is only ever envied and gossiped about for their achievements, not their flaws." Taemin nods, an automatic motion. Those kind of people exist for sure. "They didn't like me dying my hair, either," Kibum goes on. "But that they were able to look past pretty quickly at least." It hits Taemin then, that Kibum has hardly every mentioned his family around him. Often enough for Taemin to know that Kibum is an only child and his parents have always worked a lot, but not much else besides that.  Not a word about arguments or unrealistic expectations or anything of the like. "So this happens a lot?" If he is honest, Taemin is scared to ask, because he knows he won't like Kibum's answer. "I guess," Kibum shrugs. "It used to be way more often when I wasn't attending Hogwarts yet. Now it's just whenever shit like this happens." "Don't worry about it," Kibum nudges his shoulder when Taemin pulls back a little to look at him, lost and wanting so badly to help, but having no idea how. "It's okay," The older boy repeats. Taemin would have no problem detecting the uncertainty in it from a mile away, though. And there is something else that bothers him. "You never told me about any of this," Taemin mumbles, trying but failing to keep the disappointment from sneaking into his voice. It's the first time he hears Kibum speak about his parents in a manner that isn't vaguely positive at the very least and he trusts that his friend has had his reasons to keep quiet, but it upsets him, still, to think that Kibum never even mentioned it. "I know," Kibum sighs. "I'm sorry." "But to be honest, there was no reason to," He says, finally meeting his eyes as he explains "Ever since we took that vacation together back before you and I first met everything was going really well. And I thought they finally accepted that I'm just…not the conventional type." "But I guess they are still struggling to wrap their head around having a son that won't graduate with flying colours and work a high position at the Ministry of Magic and bring a wife and three children to the table five years down the road," His friend doesn't sound upset. Resigned is more like it, and Taemin isn't sure which is worse.  Taemin knows he got lucky with his own parents, because it is rare to find a Korean mum and dad who are quite as open-minded as them. His dad spent the entire first twenty six years of his life in London and his mum came to England to study, so he guesses that's how their attitude became liberal like it is today. But then again, Kibum's parents have been in England for a good three decades, too, so there probably isn't much to be certain about with any of this. Taemin thinks it's funny, because he still remembers what kind of an image he's had of Kibum all the way back when they first met. How he looked at him and immediately decided that he knew Kibum's type. Knew that he was one of those people Taemin used to despise. The kind that has a huge talent for one specific field, but excels at every other subject, too.  As if it wouldn't be so much more fair to distribute talent evenly amongst the population.  Give everyone a piece of the cake. But even more than the unnecessarily large amount of skills, Taemin hated when those exact people were the ones to stress about every little test and project as if failure was imminent. As if it wasn't already clear that they would emerge with the highest scores and a few extra words of praise from the teacher and all else good students deserved. Meeting Kibum, however, he learned that just like everything in life, this too was an issue far from black and white. Learned that Kibum wasn't perfect and didn't always radiate confidence and simply needed a little reassurance sometimes. Placing his hand on top of Kibum's, Taemin gives it an encouraging squeeze. "Maybe you're not the conventional type, but your still pretty amazing," He tells him. Kibum looks surprised for a second before the corners of his lips twitch into a smile. "Yeah, I'm magical," He agrees, and it doesn't sound entirely sincere, but there is a twinkle in Kibum's eyes that Taemin knows all to well.  Pulling Kibum close, Taemin presses a kiss to the top of his head and Kibum is full-on grinning now. So bright and beautiful, it makes Taemin's heart flutter with excitement. And he is just a little sad when Kibum leans over to rest his head on his shoulder a second time, because he can't see his face properly like this. Taemin likes looking at Kibum.   He's perfect. His sharp eyes and bow-shaped lips and defined jaw. His broad shoulders and wavy hair and big hands. Each feature is contrasting with the next, and it shouldn't make for such a fitting picture, and yet it does. It's unconventional, just like most of Kibum is unconventional, but that's what Taemin loves about him. He could probably tell Kibum that the sound of running water turns him on (it doesn't), or that he always needs to have at least five stuffed animals in his bed at night to be able to fall asleep (one is more than enough) and Kibum would treat it with the same open mind as he treated everything else Taemin has ever told him. And that's beautiful, too.  But sometimes Taemin doesn't think Kibum knows. When it's one of those days where he avoids his own eyes in every mirror and and complains about his school uniform being too tight - implications of 'my shoulders are too broad' or 'I totally gained weight' sprinkled in left and right - and Taemin can practically see just how uncomfortable he feels in his own skin. Taemin always wondered where it was coming from. And what kind of events would trigger it. Because the Kibum he spends most of his time with is confident and blunt and doesn't care what others say.  Only now he is starting to feel like the pieces of the puzzle are finally coming together. "You really are. Amazing. And magical," Taemin thinks that he will keep saying it until Kibum will believe him. Until even the last hint of sarcasm will be gone from Kibum's voice. "What's with you today?" Kibum musters him suspiciously, like he is trying to figure out whether Taemin is just messing with him at this point. Taemin isn't sure if he finds anything. But he doesn't need to. Because when he reaches up to brush Kibum's bangs out of his eyes, Kibum holds his breath - as if he already knows what's going to happen. Taemin has never been particularly enthusiastic about kissing, but sometimes Kibum smiles at him like he is the most precious thing in the world, or gets that look of infinite fondness in his eyes when their gazes meet and Taemin feels the intense need to be close to Kibum then. As close as he possibly can without shedding their clothes and letting their hands wander across bare skin. Today it's neither. Today, Kibum's gaze is guarded and his shoulders are tense and Taemin wants to help. Even if he can do no more than take Kibum's mind off his parents for a while. Kibum's lips are soft against his own when he kisses him. Taemin had made sure to keep his approach slow, to grant his friend enough time to assess the situation and tell him no if he'd rather Taemin staying away. Kibum meets him halfway, though, nothing but the sheer fear of frightening Taemin keeping him from crowding the younger boy into the wall. And it's nice. It's nice until Kibum tilts his head and presses closer, hands gripping at either side of his waist. His movements are just as slow and careful as Taemin's had been, giving the younger boy the freedom to retreat if he feels uncomfortable with anything Kibum is doing, but Taemin remembers all too soon, why he doesn't usually kiss people. And Kibum's touch serves as a stark reminder, his skin burning in a way that is almost painful. Pulling back with a jerk, Taemin sucks in a deep breath to force down the wave of panic building in his chest and he feels so, so bad when Kibum immediately moves to the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry," Kibum says, the apology followed by the soft question of "Are you okay?" "Fine," Taemin insists, but when he shifts back into Kibum's personal space, the older boy shakes his head. "You don't have to," Kibum tells him, his eyes searching Taemin's face as he keeps his palms flat against the younger boy's chest to leave a safe distance between them. "I know," Taemin nods. He leans in to place a kiss on Kibum's cheek this time, but it doesn't feel right anymore.  'But I want to,' is left unsaid, because Taemin feels stupid now. Offering comfort was all he wanted to do, but it's been replaced by regret burning in the pit of his stomach, because he should have known it wouldn't be enough. And he feels like an idiot for trying, still.  But Kibum's smile seems a bit more genuine now and he doesn't look quite so dejected anymore, and Taemin doesn't want to ruin that. Doesn't want to make this about him when it's Kibum who's had a shitty day and needs cheering up.

///

They have dinner with Taemin's parents, no questions asked about Kibum's sudden appearance. His parents aren't exactly the relaxed type and Taemin can all but feel the suspicion and the unspoken questions hanging in the air, but he is grateful they decided to keep those to themselves for now. Kibum is still tense - albeit doing a decent enough job covering up the signs and fooling his parents, at least - and Taemin doesn't want him to feel any worse. Retreating back into Taemin's room as soon as the dinner table is clear, they unpack the few items of clothing and toiletries Kibum had stuffed into the first bag he found before bolting from his home.  "I won't bother you for long," Kibum makes sure to tell him, because the pile of clothes he brought kind of makes it look like he planned to spend a lot more than just the two weeks of Winter holidays with him. "You aren't a bother," Taemin retorts. "It sucks that you have to deal with this, but I'm glad you're here. Two weeks without you would have been pretty hard." Pulling up one of his eyebrows, Kibum considers his words for a moment before he breaks out into a teasing smile. "I think you're taking it a bit too far with all the flattery today." Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks at the obnoxious wink Kibum sends his way. It is a miracle that even after all this time, he isn't used to Kibum's flirting yet. Throwing himself onto his bed, he buries his face into his pillow to hide how flustered he his. Not that Kibum can't read him like an open book by now. "Taem?" Kibum calls out for him, and when Taemin lifts his head to look at him, the older boy has his teeth buried into his lower lip, conflicted. It's such a sudden shift that it leaves Taemin's head spinning. "Would you mind if I shifted for a bit?" Kibum asks. "Of course not," Taemin assures quickly. "You literally don't even have to ask." "But a quick warning is always good," Taemin adds. "Right. Thanks. You can go ahead and…do whatever I guess. I just need some peace," Kibum shrugs and Taemin nods because he really doesn't mind. And he expects Kibum to move into another room, because he never shifts in front of him, but the older boy is hesitating, still. Finally, he steps closer to join him on his bed, leaving them in the exact same spots they had abandoned less than an hour ago when Taemin's mum called them to the dinner table.  "It is very useful, you know," Kibum says - out of the blue - and Taemin has no idea what he is referring to. "Being able to turn into a cat, I mean," Kibum explains. "It takes a lot of stress away," He says and Taemin isn't sure where Kibum is going with this, but it is interesting to hear him talk so candidly about a skill he always treats with such secrecy and reluctance. It had Taemin wondering a lot, whether it is actually a burden to his friend rather than a blessing. Had him wondering whether there was much of a purpose to it at all and whether Kibum would be better off not being able to turn into a cat at will. But it starts making more sense now. He had figured that shifting did serve some kind of purpose to the older boy. One that went beyond looking soft and cuddly and having the ability to make himself fit into a shoebox. He could never quite see the connection, though. But he kind of gets it now. There is no need for speaking as a cat, no need for complex verbal communication like there is as a wizard. And Taemin images it to be more instinctive and simple, too.  "I don't know what I would do without it," Kibum adds. "But why are you so insecure about it then?" Taemin asks the question he'd been burning to pose for the longest time. "Cause people are stupid," Kibum shrugs, feigning indifference, but Taemin sees right through him.  "That's a vague answer," Taemin remarks, and he doesn't mean to upset his friend, but since they are already on the topic, he feels like maybe he can press a bit more. Because Kibum doesn't seem uncomfortable per se. More so frustrated, his voice heavy with it as he retorts, "If you heard about how much of a freak you are almost every day for years of your life, you wouldn't think it's so vague anymore."' "In a goddamn Wizarding society," He shakes his head as if he can't believe it himself, just how people would react to his abilities. "Isn't this shit supposed to be normal here?"  "You know I think it's amazing, right?" Taemin tells him. Because it is. And Taemin hates that anyone would try to make Kibum feel otherwise. "Yeah, I know," Kibum nods, some of the tension leaving his body as he sinks into Taemin's side, "I'm glad you do."  It's the first time Kibum doesn't leave. The transformation is over in a flash, the seamless morphing from skin to fur and human limbs to elegant curves barely visible to the eye. But Taemin is struck by awe either way. "That's so cool," He swoons as Kibum jumps onto his bed, the older boy letting out a warning hiss when Taemin reaches out with a devilish grin, ready to mess with his tail. "Okay okay, sorry," Taemin apologises, holding up his hands in defeat but not looking sorry in the slightest. Kibum is so used to his antics by now, he isn't fazed. And even Taemin's comment of "Just so you know, if you don't wanna see Manga dudes having messy sex, you should close your eyes for like the next two hours," as he holds up the first book from the pile of Yaoi Manga he plans to make his way through doesn't earn him much of a reaction. Taemin remembers the first time he allowed himself to read one of them with his friend curled up next to him. Remembers how Kibum had been indifferent at first, uncaring of the decidedly plain dialogue, but how his interest (and indignation) had been sparked the second things became more steamy. Kibum had pawed at the bright red 'Rated R' sticker on the cover, as if to say 'You're only 15 you're not supposed to read this, Lee Taemin', but they both knew it was all for show. Taemin has never cared much about what he is and isn't supposed to do and Kibum has been friends with him long enough to have stopped bothering to try and lecture the younger boy. It's nothing but a waste of breath anyway. Today, Kibum doesn't even bat an eyelash anymore. But he makes a point of maneuvering his body so his head is buried in Taemin's chest, the last of the tension in his limbs easing as his eyes fall shut and he relaxes against his friend. Taemin grins, tempted to tell Kibum just how adorable of a picture he makes, but he figures he's already cooed about him enough in the last hour. He doesn't want to spoil him too much, after all. One of his hands comes up to ruffle behind Kibum's ears ever so often - an absent-minded motion - and he smiles when Kibum's body starts vibrating with purrs. He knows there isn't much he can do for his friend, but he is glad he can make him feel good. It's reassuring to know his presence isn't entirely useless, especially on days like this one where he wishes he could be there for him in every way he needs. And he feels grateful, to have the privilege of being allowed to see his friend in such a vulnerable position. As a wizard, Kibum is tall and broad-shouldered. Unwavering. But as a cat, he is so lithe and breakable, Taemin worries he could hurt him sometimes. He never would, but it's would be so easy, and it scares to know Kibum is straying about the castle grounds as a cat every once in a while. It's easy to cause serious damage to such a small creature and there are enough people who have no qualms doing so. But they aren't in Hogwarts right now and Kibum is safe with him. He always will be.

///

Christmas Eve goes by in a flash, and without a hitch, too. Lots of socialising, lots of food, but nothing out of the ordinary. Except that Taemin isn't the only person below forty at the table, which doesn't only make for a welcome change, but a more relaxing time as well. Because at least his parents' attention isn't always on him like this. And at least he doesn't have to explain why his Potions mark was so much better at Mahoutokoro than it is now. Or justify why his hair is now a dashing shade of blonde. Or talk about Jongin and what his family is doing this wonderful Christmas season when he still misses his best friend so dearly, the last thing he wants is to be reminded that they aren't spending the holidays together for the first time in over ten years. Instead, they are grilling Kibum about anything and everything (Taemin alternates between feeling bad for his friend and kicking him in the shin from across the table because it really isn't necessary for Kibum to spill any "funny" stories about their time at Hogwarts to his parents), but he is impressed at how well Kibum is handling it. He would have had to excuse himself and hide in the restroom hours ago because all the attention would have stressed him out so much. Kibum stays engaged all the way through, though. And Taemin can tell how much his mum adores him. The asshole knows exactly how to be nice and charming in the right moments and it's so endearing, Taemin can't stop smiling. 

His parents are returning to work after the holidays - his mum to her newly opened workshop in Diagon Alley and his dad to his Muggle job as an elementary school teacher - and Kibum and him are all too soon beginning to run out of exciting things to do. Yes, lazing around is nice and ignoring their responsibilities even nicer (although their unfinished assignments are bound to come bite them in the ass sooner rather than later, but Taemin oh-so conveniently chooses not to think about that for now). And they both hadn't minded sleeping large portions of the day away just because they could. But it's getting boring. Just a little.  "I'm bored," Taemin makes his disdain known, a pout on his lips as he nudges Kibum's leg with his foot. They are spread out on Taemin's bed, their heads facing into opposite directions with Taemin lying with his head at the foot of his bed and Kibum sitting with his back against his bedrest. Kibum is knitting what looks like another one of many colourful socks while Taemin slips in and out of a light sleep. Knitting is a hobby Taemin would tease his friend about a whole lot more, if it wasn't so convenient. Because the comfiness of the socks is no joke and if he is extra nice, Kibum won't mind gifting them to him.  "What do you want me to do about it?" Kibum looks entirely unimpressed as he glances up from his task for no more than a split second. "Entertain me?" Taemin suggests, but before Kibum can verbalise the disdain that is taking over his features, he is already speaking up again. "Ohh, I have a great idea," Taemin exclaims, jumping to his feet. He slips out the door only to return a few moments later, presenting Kibum with a bottle of dark blue, glittering liquid and two glasses. "We should try some of this," Taemin decides. "My dad usually has a glass after dinner," He nods to himself. He had wanted to try ever since he was little and sometimes his dad would allow him a tiny sip but never more. They aren't complete strangers to alcoholic beverages anymore, though - even if Butterbeer isn't exactly the epitome of hard alcohol - so Taemin figures it can't end too badly. They are responsible individuals, after all. And besides, "It's good for you." "Okay, fine. A glass won't hurt," Kibum shrugs, and Taemin is sure he must look like a fish with his mouth hanging open when Kibum agrees so easily. He had been certain Kibum would jump into one of his great soliloquies about the dangers of irresponsibility and how they haven't been raised to disobey (and blatantly disregard) rules at Hogwarts but he doesn't even bat an eyelash. It's kind of concerning. Taemin wonders if he is starting to rub off on his friend. But he can't say he minds if it means he will finally have Kibum go along with his ideas without a one hour long argument about the pros and cons for once. "You're not supposed to have more anyway. Look, it says right here on the bottle," Taemin points to the note of warning at the bottom of the label like he actually cares, bright red letters talking of all the various side effects caused by irresponsible consumption of the liquor. 

Later, he swears he hears Kibum's voice reminding him 'Just one' as he makes to pour himself another glass, but the taste is too good and Kibum isn't particularly forceful in his efforts and Taemin can't bring himself to listen. How they ended up lying next to each other on the carpet in front of his bed, Taemin doesn't remember, though. The ceiling above them is spinning with the most exciting lights and colours and every time he tries to get up, he falls back over, his legs too shaky to support him. And maybe that's why they should have stopped after the first glass. Maybe that's why it's stated so explicitly on the bottle, with illustrations and capital letters and everything. But god, Taemin couldn't care less. Because the fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach is about the most amazing sensation he's felt in a while. Like a faint buzz of adrenaline, mixed with excitement over absolutely nothing but the existence of the world and the pretty shapes now floating all around them. "Bum, look, that's a nice shade of pink," Taemin points at the fluffy clouds hanging a couple feet above his head. They really should do this more, it's amazing. "All I see is stars," Kibum responds, the words reaching Taemin with multiple seconds of delay. "No pink?" The younger boy asks, his voice filled with disappointment. "Nope," Kibum shrugs and Taemin shakes his head in disapproval as he claims "I think you're just not looking hard enough." "Or maybe you need another glass," Taemin's eyes light up as he tries to get back to his feet, giggling uncontrollably, even as gravity keeps him down. "Definitely not," Kibum is quick to intervene, wrapping his arms around his middle to keep him from getting up. "And you don't either." "Kay, Mum," Taemin half-slurs, mostly unaffected by his friend's attempts to restrain him. He likes when Kibum is holding him tight like this - even if it's for no reason other than to stop him from doing something stupid. "I prefer you as a cat sometimes," Taemin declares as he lies down with Kibum halfway on top of him. "And why is that?" Taemin purses his lips in thought for a moment before deciding "You're more cuddly." "I got my head in your lap right now," Kibum deadpans. "Ohh yeah, you do," Taemin eyes widen, as if he is only now realising the position they are in. He is swamped with a wave of affection when Kibum snuggles a little closer for good measures, his hands weaving into the older boy's hair as he orders, "Keep it there." "I don't think I can move anyway," Kibum chuckles.

/

Waking up a good ten hours later to the worst headache of his life, Taemin groans and twists, almost rolling off the edge of his bed in the process. "Fuck," He clenches his teeth. "Fuck, my head hurts." "Good morning to you, too, love," Comes Kibum's response, and Taemin jumps a little, because he didn't expect his friend to be awake already. When he finally opens his eyes - a huge mistake, because dammit has the sun always been this bright? - he finds Kibum sitting with tousled hair and a book perched in his lap. "It's good for you," Kibum says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "May I remind you that those were your exact words?" Taemin can only guess that Kibum's head is pounding just as badly as his, because the sour twist to his lips speak of pure regret about all the choices he's made in his life so far.  "Well, it was a fun night though, wasn't it?" Taemin insists even as he lies right back down when he finds his head spinning, because maybe it wasn't the greatest idea, he's going to give Kibum that. But his boredom had been cured and he got to cuddle with the older boy and it could have gone a whole lot worse. At least they didn't dare each other to yell 'I want Park Bo Geum to pee on me' out the window or race around the house naked or whatever absurd stuff Muggles do when they've had too much alcohol. "It was," Kibum agrees, his eyes shining as if he suddenly remembers something. "I like how much you praise me when your drunk," He tells him. "I should have counted all the times you professed your love to me last night." "Shut up," Taemin whines.  Eleven times. That's how often he directed some variation of 'Bum, I really love you so much,' at him. Maybe even twelve, if 'I kind of hate you for always being so perfect and beautiful,' counts. He doesn't regret a single second of it, though. "I'm just teasing babe," Kibum assures and Taemin smiles, because God, he loves when Kibum calls him that.  He still remembers how his chest had been filled to the brim with panic the first time Kibum had slipped in the endearment of 'babe' into a conversation. He had been too scared to comment on it back then, because Kibum had been so casual about it. Just as casual as he was about his touches. As if he didn't see anything strange about it at all. But then it happened a second time, and a third. And his discomfort only grew further the more frequent of an occurrence it became, no matter how hard he tried to be okay with it. So despite keeping silent (and gathering all his willpower to appear relaxed and unaffected on the outside) it didn't take long for Kibum to catch on and for the single question of "You don't like me calling you that, do you?" the older boy had asked one day, to transform into a long overdue conversation about all else Taemin had been battling with in his friend's presence. All the affectionate gestures and gentle smiles and fleeting (and not-so fleeting) touches he both enjoyed and didn't. "If it makes you uncomfortable all you have to do is tell me, you know? I won't do it again," Kibum had assured him, blunt and straightforward. Taemin didn't want him to misunderstand, though. "It's not that," He had hesitated for what felt like forever before daring to ask the careful question of "There is no…romantic intention behind it, is there?"  His heart had pounded like crazy, the fear of his friend making fun of him or worse cutting into his chest like claws.  He knew Kibum wasn't like that. He just wasn't. But it didn't help to ease his nerves.  "Ohh," The older boy's face had lit up as if it was finally dawning on him what kind of implications could be lying behind a simple word like that. "I really love you a lot. But not like that," Kibum was quick to tell him, his usual sarcasm pushed aside in favour of sincerity. And Taemin still remembers how relieved he had felt, hearing Kibum's explanation. Because that's what he had been most afraid of. For his friend to be looking for something Taemin couldn't give him. All this time, he worried that every touch, every endearment, every kiss to his cheek was going to boil down to Kibum wanting to cross the boundaries of friendship. But hearing it from Kibum himself, how he wasn't intending to go down that path, made Taemin feel a whole new kind of comfortable with the older boy. And with all his different ways of showing affection, too. "Okay," Taemin nodded, the first hint of a smile having tugged at the corners of his lips as Kibum's words began to really sink in.   "Are you sure?" His friend had asked, looking doubtful. "Yeah," Taemin confirmed, hoping to lift the tension a little with his addition of "You can call me babe all you want then. Or baby. Or whatever else floats your boat." Kibum hadn't looked convinced, still, even with Taemin insisting once more that it really was fine. But when Taemin didn't even falter the next time Kibum called him baby - frozen in place the second he realised he'd done it again, but calming down considerably when Taemin simply smiled at him - the older boy seemed to finally believe him. And he hadn't stopped since.

Sticking out his tongue at his friend, Taemin slips out of bed with the announcement of "Whatever, I'm taking a shower," and Kibum laughs until he can't breathe when he emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later - dripping wet and naked and whining about how he forgot his towel.

///

It's the first time in a long four weeks, that they are all getting the chance to have dinner together in the Great Hall; Taemin on the bench next to Kibum, and Jonghyun and Minho opposite of them. Jonghyun's hair is a bright pink again - brighter even, than the hundreds of candles hanging above their heads - freshly dyed and vibrant, but his expression doesn't match. And when Taemin's eyes wander to Minho, he finds a similar look on his face. It's unnerving. Taemin doesn't like it. But they naturally start talking about the Christmas holidays and their families and how they spent New Year's eve and Taemin has no idea how to bring it up without making it awkward. He isn't exactly the most tactful person, after all. It turns out he doesn't need to, however. Because as soon as there is a small pause in between their conversations, Minho announces "I need to tell you something," and Taemin finds himself straightening in his seat. "What is it?" Kibum asks, curious, but unfazed. And here he thought he was always the oblivious one. Jonghyun fidgets in his seat as if he already knows what's coming and Taemin wonders if it's all right to start worrying yet. He can't remember ever seeing either of his friends quite so tense and uncertain. "I got an offer to join the junior league of the national Quidditch team," Minho tells them in a rush, sucking in a deep breath before he adds "And I agreed." "But that's good, right?" Taemin asks when no one else does, soft and careful. It sure sounds good, but Minho's expression is still guarded and it makes no sense. Not until Minho adds, "It is. But it means I won't finish the school year." "I wasn't even supposed to come back after the New Year, actually. But I asked them for another month so I wouldn't just pack up my bags and disappear from school without at least saying goodbye." When there comes no reaction from any of them, Minho takes that as his cue to continue speaking as he adds "The initial contract is only for a year, but they're providing me with my own apartment. I already moved some of my stuff there and it's not the most spacious, but there is more than enough room for two people." Taemin chances a glance at Kibum, because he doesn't get where this is going and he needs to check if he is the only one. His friend's expression is unmoving like Taemin has never seen it before, though, and all it does is stress him out more. Maybe he really is the oblivious one because at this point he feels like they all know something he doesn't. "Two people as in…" Taemin provides. "Minho and I," Jonghyun speaks up for the first time, his gaze glued to his half-empty plate as if he can't bear to look at their faces right now. Kibum has been eerily silent throughout the entire conversation, but Taemin feels him tensing up next to him at Jonghyun's words. "What?" Taemin swears Kibum's face is drained of all its colour and he instinctively shifts closer to the older boy. "I know the school has tried hard to make the year bearable for me but I'm sick of it," Jonghyun confesses, eyes swimming with sadness. "I don't plan to ever work in the Wizarding world anyway, and even if I did, there are plenty of places to get into fine even with my O.W.L.s marks, so this is the best opportunity I could have asked for." "So you two are gonna move in together?" It's him who breaks the silence that follows, because he understands - knows that if it was him in Jonghyun's shoes, he would have cracked a long time ago, really. And he doesn't want Jonghyun to feel like he doesn't support his choice.  "Yeah," Jonghyun nods, grateful, flashing Taemin the tiniest smile as he explains "At least until the situation for Muggleborns will become better." "But maybe finding a Muggle job in London will already help me keep my distance from any ill-willed wizards," He adds, more hopeful than Taemin has heard him sound in months. And Taemin doesn't care how much it sucks that this is what Jonghyun has to do to avoid being treated like shit, because there finally is a spark of light in the older boy's eyes again and that is all that matters. "Kibum," Jonghyun calls out his name as he turns to look at him and Taemin's hand lands on Kibum's thigh as he gives it an encouraging squeeze. Averting his eyes as soon as his friends' gazes lock in an attempt to give them a bit of privacy in a room full of students, he looks at Minho instead. And, after a moment of hesitation, sends him a smile, too. "Minho will keep me safe," He hears Jonghyun tell Kibum and Kibum leaves them all startled as he stands to lean across the table and places a quick kiss on Jonghyun's lips. "I know," He says, and then turns to Minho before reminding "Just be careful, yeah?" "Of course. Always," Minho promises.

///

It becomes a lot more difficult to catch Kibum in the weeks following New Year's eve. The date of his N.E.W.T.s is still months away, but their teachers make sure to pile one assignment after the next on the seventh graders. They don't hang out a lot, and if they do, their time is filled with exhausted silence and not much else. But sometimes Taemin stays down in the common room and reads Manga while Kibum studies. And sometimes Kibum sneaks into bed with him when Taemin is already fast asleep, and he finds himself waking up in the morning to the older boy's fur tickling his skin and it isn't much, but it means the world to him.

///

The first Quidditch game of the year and Minho's last ever game at Hogwarts is a match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.  Taemin has already saved Kibum and himself a good spot amongst the students of Gryffindor to cheer on Minho for his Grande finale, but the dark clouds that have been covering the sky ever since yesterday evening are becoming more threatening by the moment and Taemin doesn't have a good feeling about this. The first hit of lightning strikes ten minutes before the start of the game and he is dripping wet before he can even think to retreat, shivering from the cold and deciding that he definitely isn't going to wait out in the rain any longer. It's only as he makes his way back to the Slytherin common room - his clothes sticking to his skin in ever place he can think of - that he wonders where Kibum is. He hadn't been anywhere near the Quidditch pitch, that Taemin is sure of. And they hadn't run into each other in the hallway yet, either. So he can't be far. If he has even stepped past the threshold to their common room in the first place, because that's where Taemin had last seen his friend, after all.  "You're back already?" Comes Kibum's voice as soon as he rounds the corner to their beds and he finds Kibum surrounded by books and worksheets - and a bunch of his usual herbs that are supposed to spread some kind of subtle scent helping with concentration.  "The game has been put on hold, I'm not sure if they will play at all today," Taemin tells him, shrugging off his cloak and stripping out of his wet clothes. "It's pouring outside." "Oh," Kibum says and it's only then that Taemin notices the wads of tissues thrown into the mix on his bed and the flatness of his voice. "Is everything okay?" He asks, instantly alert because Kibum never cries in public spaces. Granted, they are still the only ones in the dormitory, but Taemin is sure that's going to change before long. And Kibum is always uber-careful with these things. Slips into the nearest restroom or bites his lips raw and keeps it all inside (a tendency Jonghyun has scolded him about hundreds of times, because it's not healthy, apparently) or buries his face into his shoulder when they are sharing a bed at night and leaves wet patches all over Taemin's shirt. All of that, he is more than used to. But this?  "Not really," Kibum answers and his eyes are brimming with tears just like that, the look of utter sadness in them cutting Taemin straight to the core. He hops into action entirely out of instinct, closing the curtains around Kibum's bed before guiding his wand through the air to keep out any curious eyes and ears. Taemin knows his protective spells aren't half as effective as Kibum's, but he hopes it's going to be enough for now. Most of their fellow Slytherins are probably still hanging around near the Quidditch pitch in case the game does happen after all, but he isn't going to risk having anyone barge in. Because it is rare for Kibum to be this vulnerable with him and the last thing he wants is to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already does. "What's wrong?" He asks, now clad in a too big shirt and pajama pants as he sinks down next to him, one arm slung around Kibum's shoulder. "You're freezing," Kibum complains, but he buries his face into his chest, still. His eyes are closed and his breath is shaking when he finally answers "They're really leaving aren't they?" and it takes Taemin a moment to understand who his friend is referring to. "And I'm stuck here cramming all this shit into my head only to forget everything by the next day." Taemin waits for him to say something more, but all Kibum does is sink his teeth into his lower lip as his tears start rolling and Taemin knows he can't expect him to keep talking. So he holds him tight until he is no longer trembling in his arms. "I mean, I'm still here. You know that, right?" Taemin tells him as he runs his fingers along Kibum's skin in an absent-minded manner. It's difficult, to have their two friends leave so suddenly. Taemin gets that. Especially because Kibum has spent such a large part of his life with them always around. But he had hoped it would lessen the blow just a little, that Kibum still had him right here.  "I won't go anywhere," He promises. "I know," Kibum nods. "But it's not enough?" Taemin asks, and it isn't accusatory or disappointed, but Kibum looks at him like he had never heard him utter such outrageous words. "No, fuck. Don't even think like that, Lee Taemin," He scolds, shoving him none too gently and Taemin smiles because there is the Kibum he knows. "I'm just sad," Kibum shrugs, dragging the back of his hand over his eyes. "But it's gonna be okay. I'll be fine." "Jonghyun and Minho love you very much," Taemin makes sure to remind him, because he feels like Kibum loses sight of that sometimes. Gets so caught up worrying and stressing himself out that he forgets how much he means to them. "And you don't?" Kibum asks, but there is an edge of amusement to his voice. "Of course I love you, too." "I'm just teasing babe, I know you do," Kibum chuckles at the urgency in his voice, but Taemin can practically see him deflate at whatever thought crosses his mind next. "God, I hate feeling like this," Kibum sighs as he lets his head fall onto Taemin's shoulder.  "I wish Jjong was here to suck me off or something," His voice still sounds a little shaky and his cheeks are damp and Taemin wants so badly to help.  "You know I could-" He starts, because as long as Kibum won't want to touch him, too, he thinks that he could make it through well enough, but Kibum cuts him off before he can say anything more. "Absolutely not," He shakes his head, scolding "I don't ever want you to feel like you have to do anything like that to keep me around, okay?"  "Okay," Taemin nods, more than a tiny bit relieved. "You could stay over here for the night, though?" Kibum offers, his hand searching for Taemin's under the duvet and Taemin nods "Sure." That he doesn't have a problem doing at all. Except a very tiny one, maybe. "But first: dinner," He exclaims, because sleeping much longer than necessary is great and all, but he needs his three meals a day to keep him happy. Kibum lets out a sound that is half protest and half exhaustion - a wordless question of 'Do I really have to?'. "Yes, you're absolutely coming, too," Taemin nods, leaving no room for protest.

/

"You'll do well," Taemin tells him later that night, his arms wrapped around Kibum's middle in what he hopes is a successful attempt at being reassuring. "Thanks," Kibum smiles, and when Taemin leans over to steal a quick kiss from his lips, Kibum lets him.

///

Kibum brings Jonghyun with him two nights later. 'Just one more time,' He had said, avoiding the word 'last' because he knew they would see each other again. And Taemin had joined them without prompting.  They talk at first - about everything and nothing - but before long, there is only silence left as Jonghyun nuzzles into Taemin's shoulder and Kibum plays with his soft strands of pink hair. Taemin is just about to doze off when Jonghyun shifts and curls up even closer to him, a slight shiver running through his body. "Are you cold?" Kibum's voice sounds from the other side of the bed, his hand brushing against Taemin's arm as he reaches out for Jonghyun. "Just a little," Jonghyun whispers. "Come here," Kibum orders. And Taemin swears his two friends must he communicating through some kind of telepathic powers sometimes, because the sounds Jonghyun lets out in response it both desperate and hopeful. As if he has been waiting for Kibum to say the words all day. Locking eyes with him even as Kibum beckons Jonghyun closer and pulls him into his lap, Taemin is surprised to find his friend's gaze on him all the while. Taemin watches as Kibum sneaks one of his arms around Jonghyun's waist while the other one comes up to grab his chin, a teasing smirk on his lips. "Yeah?" He asks, and Jonghyun nods eagerly, but Kibum is waiting for Taemin to do the same before he pulls his boyfriend into a kiss. It is far from the first time that Taemin is seeing his friends kiss like this. Watches them all but melt into each other with their bodies moving in familiar ease and Jonghyun's lips following Kibum's lead every step of the way. But Taemin is awestruck by the sight over and over again. They are putting on a show, Kibum's hands slipping beneath the hem of Jonghyun's shirt to expose his bare skin and angling his head just right so Taemin gets a good view of their tongues tangling between them. And Taemin can't say he doesn't enjoy it. It's only when Jonghyun starts letting out one high pitched sound after the other that Taemin wonders if he should give them some space. "Bum," He calls out, so quiet, he is worried for a second, that his friend didn't hear him.  "I can leave…" He offers and Kibum musters him for a second before asking, "But do you want to?" Taemin side-eyes Jonghyun for a moment, not sure if the older boy is even aware of their exchange with how far gone he already seems. Shaking his head 'no', Taemin hesitates for a moment, "I just…" "Yeah, okay," Kibum reaches for his hand to give it an encouraging squeeze before grabbing his wrist to guide him closer. And Taemin has no idea what's going to happen, but he trusts that Kibum understands. He knows his limits better than anyone. "Jonghyun," Kibum calls out, radiating authority, even though his next words are gentle. "Taeminnie and I are gonna take care of you, yeah?" He says and Jonghyun is suddenly hyper-aware, fixated on Kibum's face as if he is going to miss something vitally important if he looks away for just a second. "But only if you keep quiet," Kibum continues, and Jonghyun starts nodding even before Kibum has asked "Can you do that for us?"  Pressing closer to Kibum with an insistent whisper of "Please," Jonghyun moves to reclaim his spot in Kibum's lap, but Kibum gestures to Taemin instead and Jonghyun seems quite happy with that idea, too.  Spreading his thighs for the older boy to settle between them, Taemin makes Jonghyun lean back into him as Kibum grabs the hem of his own shirt to pull it over his head before doing the same to Jonghyun's. Everything that happens after is a blur of Taemin kissing Jonghyun's neck - alternating between carding his hands through his hair and pulling hard to keep the older boy in place - while Kibum touches him through his boxer shorts. And the next thing Taemin knows, Jonghyun is tensing up between them as he comes, soft moans spilling from his lips because Kibum ordered him to 'Stop making so much noise, you don't want the whole dorm to hear, do you?' It's beautiful and Taemin can't tear his eyes away even once it's over and Jonghyun is heavy in his arms, sinking back against him as his breathing starts calming down little by little. "You're so cute Jjong," Kibum says, and Taemin smiles when Jonghyun lets out a small whine, hands coming up to cover his face. Very cute indeed. "Are you feeling okay?" Kibum turns to look at him and Taemin nods. Sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he can hardly look at Kibum afterwards, and it makes him feel terrible every time, because it is never out of regret. Instead he is overwhelmed, plain and simple. But today, he's fine. More than. "Still cold, though," Jonghyun pipes up and they both laugh in response. "What are you waiting for then? Just come back here." They fall asleep curled up into each other, Kibum keeping Jonghyun warm and Taemin holding his hand and Taemin is sure he isn't the only one feeling infinitely safe and happy right now.

///

Once they have dropped Minho and Jonghyun off at the train station and watched the train disappear in the distance, the rest of the school year seems to go by in a flash. Kibum graduates with flying colours - of course he does, Taemin knew he'd do well - and before they know, the last week has come along and farewell is imminent all over again.  Only this time, Taemin will be left behind completely by himself. It's odd, though, because he is sad, sure. But it's okay. He thought he would be devastated - dread the day months in advance and lose hours upon hours of sleep over the approaching separation. And yet he is nothing but calm, now that it is actually happening. Because he loves Kibum more than anything in the world and he won't get rid of him that easily. So when Kibum mumbles, "I don't want to leave," as they lie next to each other in Taemin's bed, it is the first time he chooses not to respond with 'I don't want you to leave, either.' Instead, he says "I'll come visit you, I promise," his hand finding Kibum's. Because he will. He will travel all the way across the world to see Kibum if that's what it takes. "You better," Kibum tells him, getting ready to poke his tummy, but retreating the moment Taemin lets out a squeal of protest, hands coming up to shield himself. "Right, I forgot," Kibum laughs, "not a good idea." "Just hug me or something, why won't people leave my tummy alone?" Taemin complains, but he is glad Kibum doesn't find enjoyment in his reaction the way others - Minho - do. Because God does he hate that. It's nothing else but plain rude to keep aiming one's jabbing fingers into the general direction of his lower abdomen just to hear him screech like a madman. "Sorry baby," Kibum apologises without looking very sorry at all. But he gathers Taemin in his arms, still, and Taemin loves cuddling with Kibum too much to complain. "I really don't want to leave," Kibum sighs, his face buried in Taemin's mob of dark hair. Taemin is glad Kibum isn't a cat right now, because he would be scared to crush him with how tightly he is holding onto him. They won't be separated for another two days and back in London, their homes aren't too far from one another either. An hour bus ride and a few minutes of walking at most. But Taemin has become so used to having Kibum by his side during the past two years, the thought of being separated for such a long time seems surreal. He trusts that they can make it work, though. They have to.

part 2 (coming soon)

[colorful-vvorld-blog]

Masterlist

 ❀Day 1❀

Title: Runaway Loves Prompt-#: 147 For: Blingdom on aff Pairing: JongKey Author: Ccamille on aff Word count: 9864 words Rating: PG-13 to M Warnings: Violence  Summary: Their love wasn't meant to be. No one wants them together and the world is against them. Two lovers make a rash decision and decide to run away together.  They are young and in love and think they can make it.  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: To show the world Prompt-#: 22 For: ordinary32 on aff Pairing: Jonghyun/Key Author: kumo_is_kumo@AO3 & DW ; TimidLittleRabbit@AFF Word count: 4,000 words Rating: R Warnings: none Summary: Jonghyun is a famous idol who everyone thinks is dating a fellow artist, when in reality, he goes back home and gets welcomed with the warmest hug from his spouse. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Airwaves Prompt-#: 191 For: Anonymous Pairing: OnHo (Onew/Minho) Author: eyes0ny0u on tumblr & ao3 Word count: 13,905 words Rating: R (for language and violence) Warnings: Mentions of blood. 1 fight scene Summary: Minho is in love with his best friend and colleague, Jinki. He’s trying to decide if he should go big by risking losing a friend to get a chance at love. Or go home and watch from the sidelines - like always done. But someone keeps interfering and trying to bench him before he can make a move. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Perception Prompt-#: 141 For: aurora_arcanum@ao3 Pairing: OnTae (side character: Eunsook, Kibum) Author: onthighsbelongtotaemin@tumblr Word count: 8808 words Rating: R (Genre: Angst/Romance; Royal AU) Warnings: Non-explicit scenes of whippings, Non-explicit sexual scene Summary: “What do you see, Jinki?” he asks softly, eyes on the beauty before him. “Your highness?”  “When you look out there, at the land & the trees & the mountains.  What do you see?” “I see…all those things, your highness.” Taemin looks over then, looks at the face he admires & watches the bob of Jinki’s throat as he swallows.  He watches Jinki watching the sun set & then turns toward the scenery again. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Missed Calls Prompt-#: 55 For: key_umma @aff Pairing: Onkey Author: luvstars @aff & ao3 Word count: 2.4k words Rating: PG Warnings: No Warnings Summary: Jinki purposely misses Kibum's phone calls because he likes his ringtone. Based off this (link) ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 2❀

Title: Counting Down Prompt-#: 75 For: Anonymous Pairing: JongKey Author: bluefloral@aff Word count: 2,104 words Rating: PG 13 Warnings: N/A Summary: From “I love you... I’m just kidding” to “I love you and this time I mean it” ten years later. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Unlimited Prompt-#: 165 For: Anonymous Pairing: Jonghyun/Key Author: kumo_is_kumo@AO3 & DW; TimidLittleRabbit@AFF Word count: 8,395 words Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Girl!Key (Gwiboon), Het smut, Age gap (7 years) Summary: Single since birth, the twenty seven years old Gwiboon doesn’t expect to get her heart stolen by a band’s vocalist seven years younger than herself. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: A pick-up to pick up Prompt-#: 225 For: Anonymous Pairing: Taemin/Key Author: Anonymous Word count: 2900 words Rating: PG-15 Warnings: language, terrible attempts of humour Summary: Taemin can't get that cute guy out of his head and even though his best friend tries to tell him that cheesy pick-up lines are so yesterday, he is determined to try a last coup. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: All the small things Prompt-#: 39 For: @holyhock23 Pairing: Onew/Jonghyun Author: Anonymous Word count: 2414 words Rating: PG Warnings: none Summary: For a moment Jinki doubts what they have, but Jonghyun is right there, reminding him that they are, indeed, perfect. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Happier Prompt-#: 35 For: Anonymous Pairing: Onkey with past Jongyu ft. Best friends!Minkey  Author: Sweetmoon @aff ; priiserpa @twitter Word count: 13.197 words Rating: 16+ Warnings: This story contains: sexual harassment, irresponsible consumption of alcohol, some reflections on life and death that may be associated with some religions even if it was not my intention at all (PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER!). Summary: The truth is: Kim Jonghyun can't remember much of when he was alive but he does remember Jinki's smile. But right now Jinki don't smile anymore, so before Jonghyun can continue with his afterlife he wants to make Jinki smile again, and the best way he can do it it`s helping Kim Kibum with his cute crush Jinki. Maybe he should be jealous, but how can he when Kibum seems like the perfect fit for his ex-boyfriend?  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 3❀

Title: Dominance Prompt-#: 239 For: Anonymous Pairing: Jonghyun/Key Author: kumo_is_kumo@AO3 & DW; TimidLittleRabbit@AFF Word count: 2,876 words Rating: NC-17 Warnings: ABO!au, Omega!key, Alpha!jonghyun, Mafia, Minor character death, Smut, Rimming, Knotting Summary: Kibum is a feared and respected “alpha”. He has a secret that no one knows: his submissive side as an omega comes out when he is finally locked in a bedroom, together with Jonghyun, his personal bodyguard and his alpha mate. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Under These Stars Prompt-#: 74 For: Blingdom@aff Pairing: JongKey Author: Jongkeywedding@AFF Word count: 13.654 words Rating: 16+ Warnings: None Summary: Kibum forced Jonghyun to come camping with him. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Pick Up Lines Prompt-#: 146 For: @TypeYourAnswer Pairing: 2min Author: nonsensicalnonsense @aff & ao3 Word count: 1.7k words Rating: PG Warnings: No warnings Summary: All the times Minho uses horrible pickup lines on Taemin.  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Remedy Prompt-#: 236 For: taender_kisses @ twitter Pairing: Key/Minho Author: LKChoi @ ao3 & aff Word count: 14,985 words Rating: R Warnings: Anxiety, PTSD, mentions of abuse Summary: Key is having difficulty recovering from an abusive relationship when meets Minho through a mutual friend. A friendship forms between the two, but soon, intimate feelings begin to bloom in their hearts. However, Kibum's paranoia keeps them teetering on the edge between friends and lovers. Will Minho help Key heal the wounds of his damaged heart? Or will Key succumb to the pain the scars have left behind?  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Good, Better, Best Prompt-#: 102 For: Anonymous Pairing: het!Onkey (side het!2min) Author: Minew @ AO3 Word count: 2869 words Rating: PG Warnings: N/A Summary: The only consolation is that Gwiboon most likely also ruined Taeyeon’s day.  (In which Gwiboon and Taeyeon are high school rivals and meet once again at the ob-gyn). ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 4❀

Title: Symphysis Prompt-#: 138 For: aurora_arcanum @ao3 Pairing: JongKey Author: Mysterkey on ao3, w00key on tumblr Word count: 10,947 words Rating: PG-15 Warnings: N/A Summary: Forever isn't really as long as it seems. And love is for those naive enough to be redeemed.  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Like roses, so red Prompt-#: 7 For: colormeaqua @ aff Pairing: JongKey [side!2min] Author: Blingdom @ aff Word count: 3800 words part 1 Rating: PG-13 for Part 1 Warnings: language (explicit sexual content in the final part) Summary: It's a flicker in the corner of his eye, the smallest sign of red. But Jonghyun sees it and realises who his Fated one is. They are connected by the red string of fate - so they must be meant to be. Yet, Kibum doesn't seem so keen on the idea (or is he?) ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Fear itself Prompt-#: 34 For: Anonymous Pairing: Taekey Author: anachronicwriting @tumblr Word count: 7,443 words Rating: PG Warnings: No warnings Summary: Happiness is made out of memories tied to each other, you can hold on to them, and they will pull you into the light. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Home Prompt-#: 61 For: Anonymous Pairing: OnTaeKai Author: onthighsbelongtotaemin@tumblr Word count: 2453 words Rating: PG Warnings: None Summary: Jongin thinks Taemin seems stressed so Jinki takes his boyfriends to the mountains for a day of fun.  ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Bitten  Prompt-#: 216 For: Anonymous Pairing: Jongkey Author: Ccamille @ Asianfanfics Word count: 11.264 words Rating: R Warnings: Cursing Summary: Jonghyun is a newly turned vampire, stuck in a weird coven that he hates, unable to escape or even go see his family until he learns to control himself, which could take years at the rate he's going (and refusing to drink blood definitely isn't helping). Jonghyun hates everything about that place. The only tolerable person there is Kibum, who has been a vampire much longer than Jonghyun. It's up to Kibum to teach Jonghyun that being a vampire doesn't have to be so bad. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 5❀

Title: Opia Prompt-#: 217 For: Anonymous Pairing: JongKey Author: eorumverba @ tumblr Word count: 6153 words Rating: NC-17  Warnings: graphic sexual scenes Summary: "So, Jonghyunnie," Taemin starts. He's still got that wicked grin on his lips. "Truth or dare?" "Truth!" "Is there anything you haven't told us? And not something little. Tell us something good." ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Embracing stereotypes Prompt-#: 249 For: -kimkyungri- @ aff Pairing: Jonghyun/Key (+sidepairings in later parts) Author: Blingdom@aff Word count: 2370 words (Part 1) Rating: PG-13 (for this part) Warnings: language (for this part) Summary: Kibum and Jonghyun are drawn to each other, knowing very well that there should be more. But there are many hurdles to overcome with Jonghyun being a popular member of their university's american football team and Kibum belonging to the cheerleader squad. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: 피리소릴 따라와 Prompt-#: 11 For: colormeaqua @ aff Pairing: Minho/Taemin Author: quagmireisadora @ tumblr Word count: 5775 words Rating: R Warnings: descriptions of gore / possibly inaccurate account of history Summary: In the annals of King Jabi of Silla is the tale of a terrible war. A demon reared its head from the north, weakening its enemies with spies and treachery. Once a close ally, Goguryeo broke all sacred ties between them when it forced a spear through the back of its neighbors. An army of a million men charged south, their faces painted with rage, their weapons bathed in blood. An army unlike any they had seen before marched for Wiryeseong and set it ablaze. Where once flowed a river of peace and prosperity, this beast left behind a charred wasteland of death and famine. It was at this decisive moment that Jabi, son of Nulji, kept his promise of friendship and sent forth a legion of elite warriors. Ten thousand hwarang raced to the defense of Baekjae, their horses flying through the mist and defeating every enemy that crossed their path. Undefeated were they, for their vanguard fought with the frenzy of wraiths from another realm. No sword could cut them down, no arrows could pierce their skin, no rain or snow could stop them. They glowed like gold under the sun, this undefeated army of soldiers that could not die. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Adapting to the Unforeseen Prompt-#: 221 For: Anonymous Pairing: Ontae (brief mention of Minkey) Author: pearlaqualove @tumblr Word count: 2541 words Rating: PG-13 Warnings: cursing, Mentions of Heaven and Hell, Demons and Angels from someone with a very non-religious view so definitely not according to the bible.  Summary: Jinki didn't choose to have his life filled with the supernatural, but the supernatural kept choosing him ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Hourglass Prompt-#: 71 For: Anonymous Pairing: Onkey, side Jongho Author: Jinkisbelly @ Tumblr Word count: 22,824 words Rating: Pg-13, some NC-17 Warnings: A few main character deaths in past lifetimes, Transgender lifetime, a mention of abuse Summary: Just shy of his 28th birthday Kibum realizes the detailed dreams plaguing his nights the last few months are actually memories of his past lives, tethering him to another soul throughout time and space. He feels like he’s running out of sand in the hourglass of this lifetime to find them. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 6❀

Title: Love petals  Prompt-#: 122 For: Light_Voltage @ aff Pairing: JongKey Author: Lazyhope@Tumblr Word count: 7481 words Rating: PG-13 Warnings: swearing and cursing Summary: Kibum trying to find out what's wrong with his best friend but nothing could have prepared him for what he found out. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Believer Prompt-#: 30 For: imadv0123 @ aff Pairing: Jongkey (2min if you really squint) Author: reikyrou@AFF Word count: 8033 words Rating: R Warnings: Nothing too major, but mentions of killing/murdering/crime Summary: The man before him didn’t look familiar – the young hacker would have remembered such a gorgeous man – but his voice. It was a voice he would recognize everywhere, having heard him speaking almost three years, nearly every day. His eyes widened, heart flipping at the mere thought that the other came here for him. [Lookout AU] ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Asking Works Wonders Prompt-#: 242 For: Anonymous Pairing: TaeKey (JongYu, JongHo) Author: SERiOuSLY@aff Word count: 10.112 words Rating: R Warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of sex Summary: Taemin and Kibum are roomates, but Kibum isn't too impressed by Taemin's touchy-feely tendencies. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: A picture is all it takes Prompt-#: 100 For: @TypeYourAnswer Pairing: les!jongyu (Eunsook/Junghee) Author: taender_kisses @ twitter Word count: 1627 words Rating: PG Warnings: none Summary: Eunsook the singer and Junghee the novelist discover that they are fans of each other. Fangirling ensues. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Breath-Taking Prompt-#: 63 For: @vickey1314 Pairing: OnKey Author: JK_1423@Twitter Word count: 2000 words Rating: M Warnings: character death, violence Summary: On the night he lost his father, Jinki met Death. And somehow, he yearned to see 'him' again so Jinki did everything he could to see Death again. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 ❀Day 7❀

Title: The Correspondence of Kim Jonghyun Prompt-#: 214 For: Anonymous Pairing: JongKey, (OnTae), (Jonghyun/Others), (very slight JongHo), (technically Jonghyun/himself) Author: Figleaf@aff Word count: 24,900 words Rating: R Warnings: Jonghyun has undiagnosed PTSD and has some nightmares involving descriptions of violence and character death. No one is hurt in the main plot. Everyone drinks, smokes and swears more than they ought to. Summary: Jonghyun is an aspiring young writer in 1960s Seoul. He's currently working on his first novel, as well as a few other jobs to keep him afloat. One morning he comes to and realises that his dream had been exactly the same as the scene he'd been writing the night before. The next night the same thing happens again, and again. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: WRITTEN SERENADES Prompt-#: 142 For: Blingdom @ aff Pairing: Jongkey, side!2min Author: bluefloral@aff Word count: 4, 696 words Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Summary: Kim Jonghyun is dead set on stealing Kim Kibum’s heart through his lyrical letters. Let the parade of serenades begin. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Happily ever after Prompt-#: 170 For: Anonymous Pairing: OnHo Author: TypeYourAnswer @twitter Word count: 1,744 words Rating: PG Warnings: none Summary: [Paperman!au] Looking out of the window from his office, Minho notices a man frowning and looking utterly stressed in the office building across from him. Something inside him stirred, not knowing the reason, but wanting nothing more than to sooth the man's few tuffs of hair back into place and to see him smile. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Thursday Train Rides Prompt-#: 112 For: @holyhock23 Pairing: Minho/Jonghyun Author: Anonymous Word count: 2324 words Rating: PG-13 Warnings: language Summary: Thursdays are Kim Jonghyun’s worst enemy, but this unbelievable tall student might just change his mind. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

 Title: Them. Prompt-#: 28 For: @vickey1314 Pairing: Jinki/Kibum, Onew/Kibum Author: Ace_Fahs @ao3 Word count: 7682 words (part1) Rating: T-rating, 16+ Warnings: multiple personality disorder, foul language, bad English since it’s not my first language. Summary: Lee Jinki was arrested for a murder case. He claimed he had no idea what happened. While awaiting trial, Jinki saw a psychiatrist, Kim Kibum, and when he went to trial he pleaded not guilty because of multiple personality disorder. He had five personalities (Onew, seems to have a bright personality but also mysterious; Jonghyun, the emotional and hot-tempered guy; Key, blunt, sarcastic and loves to nag; and Taemin, the youngest, a free spirited and rebellious teen) beside his own, and one of the dominant personalities, Onew, committed the murder. Jinki attempts to regain control over his life with the help of Kibum. ❀AFF❀ ❀AO3❀ ❀DW❀

[quagmireisadora]

Masterlist

Will be updated as I produce more shits and giggles fics

JongYu

“I Never Meant to Hurt You” - drabble

Diphylleia Grayi - drabble

Sister - drabble | fem!

Lips - long fic

OnKey

Itchy fluff - drabble

Domestic fluff - drabble

Paint It, Black - long fic

High school fluff -  drabble

별빛 - drabble | fem!

emergency contact - drabble

army au - drabble

“This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen” - drabble

fan au - drabble

53 degrees Fahrenheit - drabble

Odd Eyed - long fic

Villain - long fic

Teeth - drabble

bully key au - drabble

Best of Me - drabble

OnHo

song fic - drabble

crime suspects - drabble

fluff - drabble

“I Never Meant for it to Go This Far” - drabble | het!

Tourist - long fic | fem!

history au - drabble | het!

Meat - drabble

1 년 後 - drabble

In Me - long fic | ongoing

Feather - drabble | het!

song fic - drabble 

OnTae

단맛 - drabble

boarding house au - drabble

crack porn - drabble

angst - drabble | het!

“Shh, You’re Safe Now” - drabble | het!

“I’m Fine” - drabble | het!

Widow - drabble

Vermilion - drabble

angst #2 - drabble

Hair - drabble

Bones - drabble

cookie batter au - drabble

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme - drabble

Crybaby - drabble

JongKey

letter - drabble | het!

돌아온 사람 - drabble | het!

“I Can’t Sleep Without You Here” - drabble | fem!

Zariya - drabble

The Woman From Seoul Dae - drabble | het!

Moon - drabble

Swim - drabble | het!

儚い - drabble | fem!

JongHo

baby au - drabble

“I’m Never Going to Leave You” - drabble | fem!

Ave - long fic

Long Distance - drabble

Song - drabble | het!

Drunk - drabble

JongTae

fluff - drabble

“I Can’t Remember the Last Time I Was This Happy” - drabble | fem!

“I’m Leaving, and I’m Not Coming Back” - drabble

Bismil - drabble

Sin - drabble

Wash - drabble | het!

MinKey

보조개 - dabble | het!

chat - drabble

future meeting - drabble

office au - drabble

“I’m OK” - drabble | het!

runaway au - drabble

Halo - long fic | het!

Fingers - drabble

Heart - drabble

Crush - drabble

Summer - drabble

TaeKey

Hard to Love - drabble

“나 보기가 역겨워 가실 때에는…” - drabble

got au - drabble

“I Can’t Remember the Last Time I Was Happy” - drabble

Eurydice - drabble

Decay - long fic

Play - drabble

Ash - drabble

मरजाणेयाँ - drabble

2min

피리소릴 따라와 - drabble

“It’s Fine” - drabble

Comrade - drabble

Radioactive - drabble

Ink - drabble

Hero - drabble | het!

OT5

Shaman - drabble set

Door - drabble

prince au - drabble

[menofkpop]

Can people please recommend some of their favorite shinee fics, I love all pairings though I tend to go Ontae first, then taekey, onkey, minkey, and so forth but I will read any pairing. I also like all stories fluff, crack, angst, au, etc. I love chapter fics!! I just need some reading material and my brain is too tired to search :( I would so appreciate it. thank you a head of time? 

[taeontae]

do u Have any angst fic revs :O

Hi anon!  

Sorry, it took me awhile to put this together because I’m so unorganized and I know as soon as I post this, I’m going to think of a bunch I left out, so I might add to it

I hope you find one you like.  :)

(Also, ratings on these are PG-NC-17, so just read any warnings before....)

Blinded (ontae, blind Taemin) such a sweet fic, but plenty of angst there too.  

Call Me Oppa (ontae) this isn’t finished but if you haven’t read it (I think a lot of people have) I HIGHLY recommend it.  

Our Shattered Fantasy (ontae, prostitute Taemin) this one broke my heart.

Say My Name (onkey, mute Jinki) I love this take on the soulmate au

As Long As You’re You (taekai, girlee) I just love Tae’s character here, one of my fave taekai fics.   

bound (2min, slavery) The fic that changed my mind about 2min.  

mate (ontae, omegaverse, arranged marriage) I loved the tension between Jinki and Taemin.  

Time (ontae) excuse me while I go cry over this one again….

Natural Instincts (jongyu, omegaverse) this was one of the first fics I remember reading when I got into the fandom.  Still a fave.  

Stockholm Syndrome (taekey) one of the very few taekey fics I’ve read.  That ending…

Can’t Call It Pride (jongyu, jongtae, omegaverse) I felt so bad for Jonghyun, but Taemin coming into the picture…yesssss….

Homewrecker (ontae) Taemin is a little shit and goes after men already taken.  

Like A Fire (ontae) I feel so bad for both of them through most of this story.  

[onthighsbelongtotaemin]

thank you!

A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THE SBB PARTICIPANTS!

onjong

“hades” by youmakemedizzy

onho

“strawberries” by @smokyspring side jongkey

“fixing you” by @deer-tokki

ontae

“sempiternal” by @taeminuet

“precipitation and other reasons to get naked” by @onthighsbelongtotaemin side eunsook/minho

jongkey

“can’t escape” by shinee5 key-centric

“to put the heart to sleep” by @dxnghx side onho

jongho

“like the stars” by @professorjjong

jongtae

“hiraeth” by @eorumverba side 2min

minkey

“the view from here”  by saraimt

“follow every rainbow” by @hellotweetygirl gwiboon/minho

“spell of fire and water” by @lockandminkey gwiboon/minjung

“the mutt and the leech” by squickz side jongkey, side jongtae

multi

“sleepless night” by @orgel-ontae minjung/jinki/jonghyun, eunsook/junghee+

“might it be” by airedis ot5

“exformation” by @taembourine taekey, jongtae, onjong

winners

first place: special congratulations to @taembourine, @taeminuet, & @eorumverba for all winning first place!

angst: “hiraeth” by @eorumverba

slice of life: “precipitation and other reasons to get naked” by @onthighsbelongtotaemin

sci-fi/fantasy: sempiternal” by @taeminuet

[anachronicwriting]

Wallpaper

Maybe that is what he is looking to recreate, using Taemin’s photograph as a wallpaper on his phone.

Taekey

388 words

Their eyes meet, and they laugh, a private joke that takes the thousands of jests, and teasing that has gone on over the years. They are trapped in their own little world.

Laughter that is just happy, it is not about anything specific, but just the way this is all seems ludicrous, and how they have been here hundreds of times before and yet it is still thrilling.

Kibum lives for the stage, everything else feels like an obligation, but standing there feeling the energy of the crowd; is what drives him forward. He knows Taemin gets it, so they laugh, because there are few things in life that can compare to this.

Maybe that is what he is looking to recreate, using Taemin’s photograph as a wallpaper on his phone.

A constant reminder.

Wallpaper, such a fitting name, something to cover the cracks they’ve gathered over the years, the faint lines that might run just a bit deeper than they should.

And he smiles, because he knows all the small ways they are damaged inside.

“I missed you.” Kibum whispers into Taemin’s neck later when they are alone, holding him tight.

He is acting in a way that is almost childlike he realizes, but Taemin doesn’t seem to mind it one bit.

“I’m right here.” And there is much more to it than words can say.

And yet, he needs to touch him, run his hands over smooth skin, know that he is here, Taemin is one of the few people who get it, and he needs this.

He wants to remember all the time, the way it feels, the way they laugh, and the way they both give it their all when they are up there; the way they always seem to gravitate towards each other in those moments.

But he wants to remember the way Taemin’s hand feels in his, when they are bowing out, or the way Taemin looks when he is performing solo.

Taemin has so much of what Kibum himself lacks, both completely different and compatible at the same time, and he just wants to remember that Taemin is right there beside him; because he never feels as complete as when he is with him.

Taemin’s picture is his wallpaper, because it covers up all the little ways a heart can break.

[kibomz]

anthems for a seventeen year old girl will always be about taekey lesbian angst in my heart 

[somaybeimbiased]

Baby

35: About the baby.. it's yours.. Taekey please please      -Anon

He was worried.

Taemin was panicking, and he didn’t really know what to do. They knew it was possible, but it was rare enough so he didn’t think he could be a carrier. He was freaking out because they were way too young. He had just graduated and Kibum was going into his third year of college.

He was in Key’s dorm room, waiting from him to come back after his last exam. Taemin had known about this potential problem… or blessing? He wasn’t sure yet, but he’d known for a while, but didn’t want Kibum to stress over it when he as already worried over exams.

Taemin was just so scared. What were they gonna do? How were they gonna pay for this? WOuld Kibum still love him? Would he seven survive this?

His thoughts were interrupted by Kibum throwing the door open.  

“You here babe?” Kibum called, throwing his shoes off and putting his backpack down before walking into the room.

“Y-Yeah, I’m here.” Taemin said quietly as Kibum walked into the room.

“What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing because I know that face.”

Taemin looked down, wringing his hands together. “I uh um. Yeah, I have to show you something important…. Now please. Don’t take this, the wrong way…” Taemin took Kibum’s hand and sat him down on the worn futon.  He took a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and gave it to the elder.

“Just umm… look at this.” He said quietly, looking down.

Kibum unfolded the paper and looked at the black and white picture. “Tae? What is this? Did your brother and his wife get pregnant? Your mom..? I mean she isn’t that old…?” Kibum mumbled, giving his boyfriend a confused look.

“The baby… it umm.. It….” Taemin looked down

“What about the baby honey? What’s wrong?”

“A-About the baby… it’s yours.” Taemin said, looking down.

Kibum just stared at Taemin for a few seconds. “You’re kidding…”

Taemin bit his lip and shook his head. “No, it’s yours…

“That’s not… you know the chances are slim, and I doubt that it’s actually….”

“I went to the doctor Kibum there are pictures. Either accept it or I’ll leave and you won’t have to worry about me or the baby.” Taemin cut him off, staring right at him and leaving Kibum speechless.

Taemin waited for a bit but then just shook his head at the shocked elder, “Okay, fine. I get the idea. Goodbye.” Taemin was a couple steps away before a hand pulled him and back and twisted him around. His body hit Kibum’s and the elder hugged him close.

“I love you and I would never leave you over something like this. We are young, but we will figure it out. I have one more year and then I can get a real good job, and until then, I’m sure our families would help us enough to get by. So don’t worry and don’t stress. The only thing you should worry about is keeping yourself and the little miracle inside of you happy and healthy, okay? I love you I love you I love you I love you”

[somaybeimbiased]

Fed Up.

Taemin is annoyed to the point that he attacks Kibum verbally. The reason? He can't stand when someone touch Kibum. But Kubum doesn't know about this, because Taemin can't bear confessing to him.            -Anon

Could you please write angst taekey with happy end? Thanks for all your fics!                                                                                        -Anon

He was fed up.

“Just fuck off Kibum!” Taemin yelled, leaving the room with the slam of the door. This left a very startled group in the room. Kibum had just asked Taemin how his day was, and this was the response he gets? No. No this did not sit well with him. He was not impressed with their maknae.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Kibum said simply, ignoring Jonghyun’s protests and Minho’s complaints about how Taemin wouldn’t listen to Kibum.

Kibum found Taemin in one of the smaller dance practice rooms, angrily practicing Lucifer, even though he has always remembered it better than the rest of them. He watched the younger tut to the beat before yelling and kicking the wall. That’s when Kibum decided to intervene. He walked into the room, “Just because I’ve done something to upset you doesn’t mean to have to take it out on the wall Taemin.” He said, closing the door behind him and locking it.

Taemin just paused the music and rolled his eyes. “Please, what could you ever do to upset me? You’re too perfect to do any wrong, remember?”

Kibum frowned at the disrespect he was receiving.”Taemin is that any way to talk to your elder?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step towards the younger to challenge him.

“I don’t care about fucking honorifics right now, so lay off.”

Kibum rolled his eyes, “Spill it. What’s wrong?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know mr. “hyung whore” You’re worse than Minho.” Kibum’s eyes widened, as Taemin glared at him.

“Taemin what do you mean hyung whore? You aren’t making sense.”

“You always let Jinki and Jonghyun touch you with that whole ‘skinship’ thing, that fine, but you need to quit it when it’s behind the curtains or off camera, because it’s really annoying.”

“Okay, don’t bring the other’s into th-”

“They’re the problem!” Taemin cut him off by yelling.

“Taemin shut up or else someone will hear and they will find out that our Taemin who was supposed to be a grownup now is throwing a temper tantrum like he did when he was a newbie and someone forgot to buy him banana milk for the dorm”

“You know you’re a real dick sometimes Kibum.”

“Oh sorry, I’m just acting the same way you are.” Kibum hissed at him, turning and leaving the room loudly.

Taemin crumpled to the floor. This was his fault. But how could he not be angry at a time like this? How could he not feel like punching everyone’s face in. How could he not feel rejected at how oblivious Kibum is, despite Taemin dropping obvious hints. After the ‘Key Umma’ stage, and his blossoming into what people consider to be a man, he’d realized his feelings for the elder. He tried to drop him hints by trying to help him cook, or leaving little daily affirmation notes for him, and a few times he’d asked Kibum to cuddle, but the elder would just blush, push the job onto someone else and then he would leave the room. That’s how he often found himself cuddling with Jonghyun or Minho.

It had been a week since the outburst during practice, and Taemin still wasn’t talking to him. Kibum felt horrible, maybe he had taken it too far. Should he have brought back his ‘Key Umma’ for a surprise visit and console the younger, should he have left him alone, or let Jinki deal with it? He wasn’t sure, but he knew that his heart ached more every minute the younger wasn’t talking to him. They’d be fine onstage or on camera or in public, but other than that, Taemin was silent towards him, but he had no problem talking to anyone else. He decided he’d had enough, he needed to find out what was wrong with his youngest bandmate.

He knocked on Taemin and Jonghyun’s shared bedroom door quietly as he knew Jonghyun was off on a schedule and that the maknae had shut himself up in their room.

“Taeminnie, I made hot chocolate, and there is some here for you.” Kibum pushed the door open, holding two mugs of the steaming liquid. He sat on the edge of Taemin’s bed where the younger sat, texting on his phone.

“So talk to me, what’s wrong.” Kibum continued, expecting a response, but when Taemin didn’t make any attempt to move Kibum rolled his eyes. “No hot chocolate unless you say something to me.”

“What do you want? I’m still angry with you.” He said, eyeing the hot chocolate. Kibum smiled, happy to hear him talking to just him now, even if he sounded tired and emotionless.

“I want you to tell me what that was the other day. We both said some things we shouldn’t, but I need to know why you got so upset as to call me hyung whore and tell me to eff off. “

Taemin sighed and looked down to avoid eye contact.

“You, you just always have other people touching you.”

“So do you Taeminnie, Jonghyun cuddles you a lot more than he does me.”

“But that’s not the point. You won’t let me touch you unless it’s for the fans or whatever, and that upsets me, okay?”

“Tae, were you… were you jealous?” Kibum grinned at the younger’s face as he went red.

“Gah! No! I just, um, think it’s rude to do that in front of others, and if someone saw it could ru-”

“Shut up, you were totally jealous!”

“Was not!”

“Were too!” Kibum teased, excited to be getting a rouse out of the other.

“Fine! Maybe if I didn’t like you so much I wouldn’t get jealous!” Taemin yelled before slapping his free hand over his mouth. Kibum froze mid-laugh and stared at Taemin, not quite processing what he said.

“You… you what?”

When Taemin set his cup on the nightstand and went to get up, kibum stopped him.

“You what Taemin. Say it again.”

“I like you dammit!” Taemin swore under his breath and hung his head low to avoid Kibum’s urely negative reaction.

Kibum felt himself go red. That’s why Taemin got jealous.

“So all that stuff you do for me, it’s because you like me?”

“God yes! And for calling yourself the smartest member you’re so oblivious!”

“Hey now, you’re nice to everyone, you cuddle with Minho and Jjong all the time.” Kibum said slowly, still trying to reason it out in his head. Taemin rolled his eyes and huffed softly.

“That’s because whenever I ask you, you tell them to and leave the room.”

“That’s because I get so nervous around you.”

“I thought you said the ‘Almighty Key’ doesn’t get nervous?”

“But Kibum does, and I feel like Kibum around you, not Key.” Kibum admitted, biting his lip.

Taemin glanced at the elder’s lips. “Hyung… kiss me.” he whispered softly, hoping that this would work out, because if it didn’t he may just go into cardiac arrest.

Kibum stiffened and then gave into what both his heart and head were saying. He leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against Taemin’s. They kissed softly, both full of unsureness, but underneath that was love and a hint of pure devotion. The mood in the room died when Jonghyun walked in and yelled a loud “FINALLY!” The two pulled apart and just laughed, in the other room they heard Jonghyun telling Minho that he owed him 1000 won and that he was a loser.

Kibum smiled and pulled Taemin into a hug.

“You should’ve said something sooner.”

A/N I hope you enjoyed some angsty fluffy Taekey! More requests comming tomorrow!