#tbh i personally hate being in discord servers but I also can't think of a better way to have a bunch of people together

[red-garden]

man, i need to fill up a beta worm farm. If I started a discord for my various scum villain-related creative projects how many of you would want to join?

[instant-bull]

Hashirama thoughts I dumped on a Discord server recently. I'm not editing too much in them, sorry if any of this is chaotic. Hope you enjoy some exhausted rambling

Tonight I'm thinking about God Hashirama from the angle of "how fucked up his situation is".

Like, if he's some sort of a god, then imo the most compelling option would a Jesus sort of situation, rather than physical descendance from a god. He's born of humans but for some reason he's chosen, he possesses the mokuton, and I love how this can be linked to him being some sort of god of nature: not only trees, maybe, but plants, maybe even expanding into fungi (but that's discussion for another day because if I speak one more word on antropocene we will be here all night).

So, Hashirama, as a god of nature, rather a manifestation of nature than a power that controls it: he's not The God, but he is a god, for sure. Are there any gods? Maybe, but I think they are a completely different thing than Hashirama, and he doesn't concern himself with them.

So, the fucked up situation angle: he's a mortal god, born and trapped in a mortal body, surrounded by humans who see him as a human: a really skilled and powerful one, but a human nonetheless. Does he even realize he's a god? I think he does, to an extent, I think trees tell him a lot of different things and he listens to them dilligently. It'd an ancient forest, and compared to them he's young and small, but he's the link that connects humans and plants, and the one who's meant to keep them at a balance.

So, he realizes he's a god, but he never gets a god complex or anything like that: I think he's selfless enough, self aware enough to understand he can't be going around calling himself a god, lest he attracts unwanted kind of attention. He wants to plant seeds of peace (pun intended) so that when he's inevitably gone, his dream can go on without him. If he were to divide and conquer and set himself an emperor or something, it would all come crumbling down once he's gone. Nobody would be able to fill in his shoes. Nobody else is a god after all.

So, instead he chooses the difficult and slow-burning way of compassion and kindness, he puts on a brave and jovial face towards the world that hates him and builds himself a little nest in between of the whole chaos he cannot control. He demeans himself and works like a human, so that humans can pick up the pieces once he's gone. In the end, he's a god with no worshippers, with no faith on his side, and that's what makes him, in my opinion, very clingy and sensitive to rejection. He needs all the praise, all the support, all the worship he can get, it is only in his nature to crave that.

Also, his status, even if it's only in his head, is what gives him all that outgoingness and happy-go-lucky attitude. He doesn't see humans as equal to him, since they are so much weaker and unable to see and comprehend things he does: at best he observes them like how we observe puppies. He loves humans, he cares for them so much, but he struggles to truly connect with them. Perhaps he perceives and processes emotions differently, he's not fully human, he's kind of removed: that's why he doesn't treat things very seriously, unless they are concerning Very Big Ideas: his dream, his people... death, that one for sure. That's why he weeps real tears when his younger brothers die, but doesn't show a slightest bit of concern that he introduced his little granddaughter to gambling and took part in her being an addict: it's really not that deep, in his mind. It's a quirk, if anything, it's silly!

Tbh the say Hashirama views humans and his closest people is such a rabbit hole on its own... But last though rn is that I think he shows some psychopathic tendencies (this is hard to research bc most papers on psychopathy treat it like it's an Evil Person Disease: I mean mostly his thrill-seeking, low empathy (but great compassion), disregard for norms and rules and aforementioned detachment (in his case specific to his status)). Sorry if any of this is kind of disjointed

[ts-witchy-archive]

Hello! I've seen a bit of wiccan (?) things for a while, if I were to start I wouldn't even know how to start though. (my autistic ass does not leave the house and my mom would probably think it's weird to make strange concoctions of things) I also don't really know how deities work and how do you find out which one your communicating with? Tbh I've always felt like someone is around but whatever god it is seriously fucking hates me /hj Been better since I started medication but like the luck I have is 50/50 good bad and that is probably not normal. If you answer this it'd be very helpful.

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

I just want to start by defining a few terms for you :)

Wicca/Wiccan: A pagan religion that focuses on nature, magic and witchcraft. It was founded in the mid 20th century and Wiccans primarily worship 2 Gods which are personifications of nature.

Witch: Just a person who practices witchcraft. It's a non-gendered term and a non-religious term/practice. Not all witches are Wiccan but all Wiccans are witches. Witches can be absolutely anyone

Personally, I'm not Wiccan so I can't really tell you much about that but if there is one thing I know, it's witchcraft! There are many different places to start but I'm going to condense it down as much as humanly possible. It'll probably feel like a bit of information overload so just try to take it slow and relax. Enjoy the learning.

My favourite book for beginner witchcraft is 'Witchery: Embrace the Witch Within' by Juliet Diaz. She is a fantastic author and wonderful human. Everything about the basics of witchcraft you could need is in that book (imo). You should be able to find a pdf online if you can't get a physical copy.

As for youtube channels with solid content:

Harmony Nice: She covers everything Wicca. She has a playlist with all her Wiccan/witchy content witch is linked here

The Witch of Wonderlust: Olivia has been a favourite witchy youtuber of mine for a while. I wouldn't recommend jumping into her videos without any prior knowledge but once you have a grasp on the bare bones it should be okay. Here is a playlist she made with everything you could possibly need when beginning witchcraft. SOrt through the videos and see what peeks your interest.

The Hearth Witch: Another wonderful account if I remember correctly. Her videos used to be on the longer end (30-60mins) so if you have a short attention span then maybe not but she has a wealth of information.

I also recommend joining a few discord servers, following a few pages on tumblr just to get acquainted with the community and terminology.

Okay, on to the deity work situation. Deity work is generally considered more intermediate in the witchcraft community. key words being 'Deity WORK'. Worship is completely fair game. Setting up an altar, praying, leaving offerings, doing activities in devotion to the deity is absolutely something you can do relatively quickly.

As for IDing a deity, most people do it through 'divination' which is things like tarot, a pendulum, dice, bone throwing, and other ways. Most people also ask for signs that a specific deity is 'reaching out' to them or wants them to pay attention. You can also politely ask someone who is volunteering their time on tumblr or a discord server to find out for you via divination. If they don't say their doing free readings, obviously, don't ask.

Finally. luck is luck. It makes no sense for a literal God to hate a human. We all have periods of shitty luck and awesome luck! I wouldn't blame that on anything. Sometimes bad things just happen unfortunately. But sometimes amazing things also happen, even if it's just as small is finding 5 cents on the footpath.

That was so long. Congrats if you made it to the end because I nearly didn't when writing this. I hope this helped a bit. Feel free to reach out if you need a hand with anything. Thanks :)

[no1ryomafan]

I'm genuinely/morbidly curious friend: What kind of toxicity have you encountered in Mecha Fandom spaces?

Truth be told, I'm mostly on own my little bubble, actively stirring away from most possible drama, enjoying my old robot series mostly on my own... though, some times, I accidentally convince my friends to give them a watch.😅

So, I'm not familiar with the kind of toxicity brewing there... And it's something I won't ever engage with, because I want for my online spaces to be positive, for my own mental health.

But I'm genuinely/morbidly curious about it nonetheless, because it might helpful to stay away from potentially toxic fandom discourse and other such nonsense.

Ok before I get into it I wanna say I do my best to avoid actual fandom discourse as I’ve seen enough to know how it effects me and also I’m just way too old for it-I say at the age of 21 which is YOUNG but good that I realize now-however it still comes up when I’m around discord servers, I still don’t engage with it but I can’t really step away without leaving friends servers which I don’t want to do unless it gets super bad you know? Muting channels is always a option anyways.

But to answer the question, a lot of mecha discourse boils down to HEAVY elitism. Mecha fans are very defensive of the genre and will find any means to attack people for it. I think the biggest example is anytime Evangelion is brought up, or more specifically the “deconstruction” claim. Where people think Eva is the only mecha with human characters, it is a very dumb take, but how the fandom reacts to it and how it’s effected discussion of Eva is far from a good thing because being fully honest? I never SEE Eva fans try to claim this anymore. I won’t deny there’s probably bad ones with how big Eva is, but I feel like mecha fans didn’t let go of this notion that they use it as justify to hate Eva and it’s perfectly fine if you think it’s overrated if you’ve seen other mechas you like more but it’s not okay to mass harass anyone who likes it yet isn’t even being mean about it, I’ve had people go DIRECTLY to me that “I’m gonna hate Eva fans cause they suck and so does the show”, that is literally more toxic behavior then the Eva fan you made up in your head. I genuinely feel bad for Eva fans who GOT into the mecha genre too cause shock of all shock they do in fact exist, which is why I’m again more skeptical of do people REALLY still claim Eva a deconstruction or are you people refusing to let go of it? (No one wants to admit either that Nadesico gets hit with this claim, by ACTUAL MECHA FANS MIND YOU yet it’s as stupid to say but they will argue, though I won’t get into that either if you haven’t seen it + it pisses me off more then the Eva one)

Genuinely seen the toxicity towards any popular mecha tbh, Gurren and Geass have it bad and Gurren fans get shoved down their throat they need to watch getter when as much as I’d like getter to be acknowledged more, someone who likes Gurren isn’t inclined too and vice versa, given I personally do not care to watch it whatsoever even if my bf trying to convince me so next to being toxic it just be hypocritical of me to shove it down peoples throats, so I simply don’t.

Genuinely mecha discourse can be summarized down to “this sucks watch this instead” and people then get confused why no one wants to watch mecha, next to how these people don’t really do a good job at SELLING why you should past “its historically important to anime!” and I have history anime autism yet I’m not gonna go that far so that’s not needed to enjoy anime, even if people should watch older stuff more. There is a lot more I could go into, I didn't touch the obvious elephant in the room being how most gundam fans act or other specific takes I see with getter but this post is long as is and I think you get the point.

So yeah. You made the right choice not interacting with the fandom, I sadly just can't entirely avoid it.

[crescentpaws]

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Answer all of em!!!!

(For KOTLC or any fandom that you really wanna do)

LMAO ok… if you insist ☝️ (dashes are for questions i’ve already answered)

1. -

2. still no comment on this one.

3. idk i can’t rlly remember any awful takes off the top of my head LMAO. haven’t even been here that long so

4. bold of you to assume i remember anyone i block

5. i don’t use rlly discord (wow these answers are so exciting)

6. sokeefe for SURE and i don’t think anyone can disagree with me on this

7. already answered but i need to say it again. KEEFE. maybe i’d like him a bit more if some people didn’t make literally EVERYTHING about him (also if people stopped commenting “this looks like keefe” on my art)

8. once again using this as an opportunity to spread my short haired fintan propaganda. that guy would not be able to maintain long hair. he’d accidentally burn it off or something. also dex is not a cinnamon roll. marella is bisexual, not a lesbian. king dimitar is irrelevant to me and the bit is sometimes annoying. alden is not abusive. fitz is not manipulative. keefe is not mature enough for a relationship with sophie. (+ princess purryfins is the size of a goldfish, not a full-sized cat! vertina is literally only a head, she does not have a body!)

9. -

10. sokeefe vs sophitz. like we’re not getting anywhere by arguing about this why don’t we all just take a deep breath and calm down a bit

actually i guess that’s more the fandom itself ummm idrk i hate how some of y’all demonize characters for the stupidest reasons (just being silly btw don’t take any of this too seriously)

11. -

12. -

13. dex honestly. tam too but personally i’ve seen it happen with dex wayyy more

14. i don’t read fics 😜👍 can’t ever find ones that sound interesting

15. people forgetting to draw the registry pendants 😢 guys give them back their pretty little necklaces

16. -

17. -

18. -

19. honestly no idea… i’ll get back to this one

20. again, the love triangle. also pretty much all of stellarlune LMAO. i swear most of that book was just them talking about stuff they were going to do instead of actually doing it 💀 also shannon was pushing the kenric / oralie agenda way too hard in that book tbh like guys kenric is dead literally nothing can come out of this. it’s irrelevant and i don’t care!!!

21. keefe 😊👍 again. does not deserve all that hype

22. fintan on the other hand….. also the peace summit scene is under appreciated it’s so funny (as well as every other fintan scene tbh)

23. gonna be so real back in 2019/2020 i was a hardcore believer of aroace fintan and i hated pretty much every fintan ship so. old me would be horrified to know what my current favorite ship is. (still basically hate every other fintan ship tho LMAO)

24. once again sokeefe vs sophitz lmao 💀 or honestly just fitz vs keefe. we do not need to be doing this guys.

25. “dex on the cover!” “dex needs more page time!” WRONG! we need more marella page time. we need another marella cover!! we need more fintan page time!!!!!!!!!

[chenyuvale]

violence 1-25

the character everyone gets wrong

-diluc

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

-[redacted] cant top bc 1) he doesnt have the self confidence for such and 2) He Is Not Straight in anyway shape or form so even if he is with a woman That Woman is Topping Him.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

-it wasnt on tumblr but i saw this zhongchi take where it was a mini comic of them, on a bench, childe doing the adhd leg bounce as one does and the second panel was zhongli forcibly stopping childe's leg from bouncing (one zhonglis the lord of geo so even if childe wanted or NEEDED to keep his leg bouncing itd be near impossible that cannot be a fun sensation and two Literally dont do that. Dont do that.) the third panel was childe looking at zhongli with hearts surrounding and all the comments were like "me and who 🥺" and good GOD. PEOPLE.....

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

actually they blocked me first bc i commented smth along the lines of 'stop worshipping mental illness....' ive yet to block myself on tumblr at least

worst discord server and why

[answer is found in another ask]

which ship fans are the most annoying?

.. short answer: all the Popular ones

long answer: zhongchi, kavetham, neuvithesley, kaeluc, thomato, chiluc and chaeya are also up there goddamn,,, andddddd most lumi ships too tbh,,

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

-i actually dunno, kujou sara maybe??? shrug, all the characters i hate are bc of my personal takes of canon

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

-diluc, thats it.

worst part of canon

-end user license agreement

worst part of fanon

-almost everything i hate it here

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

-at least ten but most likely more

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

-baizhu. WHY DID KAVEH THE FOUR STAR ON HIS RELEASE GET MOREEEEEEEEEE ATTENTION AND LOVE THEN THE GUY WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE FUCKING LAUNCH I AM SALTY.

worst blorboficiation

-,,diluc

that one thing you see in fics all the time

-baizhu being there in the Having a Baby fics

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

-cishet takes on baizhu + diluc im sick of them

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

-neuvithesley bc ... they have No romantic chemistry at ALL worse than zhongchi and also neuvi is. like so much older than him and yall treat this like you would as if they were the same age and like i get the appeal for ships like that dont get me wrong i liked venkae for a time being BUT treating it the same as if they are both human and both mortals where as one is not is just Wrong. also neuvi sent wrio to prison! neuvi has personally Known Wrio since he was a kid and neuvis always been and always will be This "Age" (in a physical sense) ALSO SIGEWINNE ISNT. THIER DAUGHTER....

there should be more of this type of fic/art

more baizhluc pls... im starving

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

baizhu,,,,, and his shippability with literally anyone who isnt zhongli,,,

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

wrioney sdjhgsd i guess

part of canon you found tedious or boring

most of the quests

part of canon you think is overhyped

abyss its too focused on and sure i get focused on it too but like,, theres more to the game,,, care more about hte story and characters orz

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

the way he says these specific lines

diluc is a smug ass sly ass motherfucker

ship you've unwillingly come around to

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dunno

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

kaeluc! :3 <- guy who believes the two of them are exes. you can imagine how that goes for me

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"The rewards are too little" bitch stfu we arent here to get spoiled and you know that

[rayofsunas]

s/o who dies.

A/n: listennnn, I wasn't going to write something dark, but then I unregretfully decided to listen to edgy/dark audios and I was suddenly in the mood to write this so yeah lmao. also, guess what? I'm planning on making a discord server right after posting this! so, be on the lookout for that when I get it all sorted out. also, note for Scaramouche's that the reader inserts tend to lean more femininely versed (I hope that's okay), the only reasons why I do that is because one I simp and I'm female AND two since I am doing a mini-series for Scara, I've kind of based his imagines/fics around that universe (baby daddy universe). I haven't started his yet, but consider these part of that series' universe. anyways as always thank you for requesting anon and enjoy! <333

Summary: you die + how the boys cope afterward.

Parings: Albedo/Gn! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, poison, illness/cancer, murder, arson, obsessive behavior

Word count: 2.1k

Albedo

"You need to keep this on your head." Your lover said for the one-hundredth time, placing the cold cloth on your forehead once again after taking it off only seconds earlier.

"This is pointless," You said, no longer wanting to ignore nor hide behind the invisible thick curtains of the obvious death sentence approaching. "My body rejected the medicine the first twice doses, what's a third time going to do?" You asked, knowing Albedo wouldn't answer; your hope was to knock some sense into his thick skull. but he was too worried trying to ignore the obvious as you had previously been doing, not anymore though.

This was saddening to watch, both Albedo's unfolding and the girl who accidentally poisoned you, whimpering into Sucrose's shoulder. She was only a young girl, barely seventeen when she was chosen to work under Sucrose and your boyfriend. She was very good at Alchemy and luckily had a desire to practice the craft. But unfortunately, she hadn't paid much attention when it came to Surcrose's educational poison lesson and had unknowingly mixed up poisonous liquids and materials.

After tipping over some clutter in Albedo's office and knocking over a test tube laying unsealed on the counter, you had realized the contents spilled on your skin, bleaching into your pores. You had been tasked with bringing the famed alchemist and his assistant some vials and materials for the collection of a rare butterfly they had found. It was both telling and obvious that something was wrong when you never showed up with the required materials requested and it was already too late hours later when the chief Alchemist, his assistant, and Alchemist in training came bounding down the stairs of Albedo's home laboratory.

It didn't take long for the trio to realize something was wrong. Sucrose had found the vile on the floor, most of its contents spilled and in a little puddle, plus your state on a nearby lounge chair was obvious; slumped awkwardly, forehead visibly sweating, eyes closed, breathing raspily.

You accepted the first doses of the supposed nullifying medicine without hesitation, just wanting the numbing feeling to go away. But when it never kicked in you decided it would be best to save the medicine, because it wasn't working. Your time was coming.

"Since the medicine is taking immediate effect, you should try to get the contents out of your system," He said, reaching out for you. Badly you wanted to argue that the medicine wasn't working at all, but he wasn't listening and already has his lean arms wrapped around your middle, helping gently lift and guide you over to the sink.

You hear materials being shoved to the side and soon enough you had your head dangling over the sink, shaking hands gripping the metalled edge tightly. Soon enough, Albedo's hand was on your back rubbing up and down, hoping to comfort you, it wasn't working though. You could only think about your death, what the other side would look like. Could there even be heaven or hell, maybe a place in between, maybe nowhere...?

As soon as you felt the urge to vomit, you did, and despite it being utterly disgusting Albedo seemed to welcome it happily. He took this as something good, but it only worried you when you saw the reddish hues in the bile.

"I think they should leave." You muttered acknowledging Sucrose and Elizabeth, the taste of gooey, metal only becoming more apparent. The blonde agreed, nodding and muttering "Okay."

As Sucrose lead Elizabeth towards the stairs, the pair heard you say. "Goodbye Sucrose, Elizabeth." Which only seemed to make the young girl wail louder.

You sighed sadly once the silence was back. Just your thoughts of death, and Albedo's slowly crushing heart.

"You should probably leave soon as well. I don't want you to be here when I go." Albedo frowned at your statement, head shaking.

"Don't say things like that."

Of course, he'd say that. Why did he feel the need to ignore this when it would only come back to hurt him even more later on when you were gone?

"You're the smartest man I know and we both know where this is heading," You said, head feeling much heavier than before. It was getting closer to your time. "I'm going to die, and you can't do anything about it."

"I'm not leaving your side. We promised to stick together through everything, you can't ask me to leave."

"I guess... But promise me this."

"When I go, stop blaming Elizabeth. It was an accident..." You said sincerely. Albedo wanted to make a fuss about it, tell you he'd never been able to forgive her. But for you, he would try. If it was your list desire, your last wish, he'd make it come true. Though it would be difficult. Accidental or not, she was the reason you were leaving him here, alone.

"Okay, I'll try..." He said honestly.

"Thank you," You said, letting out a shaking breath you had been holding for a very long time. Now you felt much more peaceful. "And since I know you stubbornly won't leave," You started, finally turning away from the sink to look into his cerulean eyes. "At least hold my hand."

"Of course, love."

even a year after your death, no matter how hard he tried, there was still this nagging feeling every time he looked at Elizabeth

he wanted too badly forgive her, but he couldn't

she had, although accidental, taken the one person that meant so much to him and he'd never forgive

Albedo is gonna be distant towards everyone he knows and it's completely purposeful

he doesn't like the pitiful gazes that people send his way and he hates that all the captains stared at him at your funeral

obviously, some questioned if he was able to stay in the field

he hadn't taken any time off, even when Jean advised he was welcome and that it would be best

tbh, albedo's going to have a hard time for a while

Xiao

Why did it have to be you? Why not him? He'd feel much better knowing you could live another day, after all, he'd been living a very long time.

But no, the fallen Archons, Gods, Yaksha had chosen you to join them. He wished that weren't the case

Humans and their pathetic vessels... So weak, he thought. Allowing something like cancer to beat them.

No matter how harsh it sounded, he didn't despise you, no. It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this. He just knew that if you were a godly being this wouldn't have happened like this or at least not so soon; Xiao had known Gods that had terminal illnesses to live years. Why couldn't you be like them?

He hated watching you lie there in that bed, immobile, sickly, and tired, and all you could say was that everything was going to be alright, that he'd be alright.

But it wasn't. He wouldn't be okay without you. He would struggle daily, fall deeper into a hole. You were the light of his life, the only light in his life. And you were gone, just like that. Turning external scars into internal ones tattered all over his dying heart.

Xiao for the longest time has been by himself, so the people of Liyue know it'll be harder for him to overcome this, no matter what he says or does to prove otherwise

Zhongli in particular knows how hard this will be for his friend

his first and probably last love, dead, gone in the blink of an eye

he'll continue fighting all the monsters he crosses, becoming even more violent when he does so, trying his best to get rid of this stupid sickly feeling of heartbreak

but it won't go away, no matter what he does, no matter how absurd

he just wants the feeling to go away, he despises that feeling so much

if you have a secret place somewhere, like in the mountains, Zhongli often finds him there, wallowing in invisible self-pity

"You know they wouldn't want you to be like this." Zhongli would say, only trying to help

but it doesn't

it only enrages Xiao, even more, fuels him to push everyone out of his life again instead of letting them in like he'd done in your presence

Scaramouche

How dare you. How dare you leave him like this. Alone, nonetheless with a toddler to raise who kept crying for her mommy. He couldn't do this without you, he didn't know how to raise a child, speak to her with the gentle care that you did. That was your expertise but now he'd be doing it solo.

And never again would he entrust someone who he cares about, into ignorant, incompetent arms. Never again will he ever allow any member of the Fatui to watch after his daughter; no matter their rank or position. They had one job while he was away doing business in Liyue. Guard your home twenty-four seven, accompany you into Inazuma's port town should you need anything, watch after his daughter while she plays happily in the luscious Inazuma fields. And they couldn't do that. All he gave them was one simple task, watch and keep you and your daughter safe. Instead, they slacked off, probably drunk in some bar while you were being brutally attacked by murderous mercenaries, left to fend for you and your daughter, only to die protecting her and leave your home to be severely burned.

He knew those idiotic Fatui soldiers were incompetent the moment he stepped foot into the harbor and found that everyone seemed to quiet down. Especially the eerily silent soldiers flanked on each side to welcome him home; he was the highest-ranking soldier in the land of Inazuma after all. Not a single one bothered to step forward and tell him what was wrong, what they all criminally allowed happen. Scaramouche only realized what had happened when he was mere minutes away from arriving home, his daughter had come running from his widowed mother's arms, the sight of smoke rising in the air, from the direction of his home. You were nowhere to be seen.

It all happened so fast, in the blink of an eye. His daughter was clinging to his shirt and his mother only stared with tears of pity.

It didn't take long for the puzzle pieces to be put together and before he knew it, Scaramouche was standing in front of his home, part of it burnt to a crisp and black.

He didn't need to ask what happened, he didn't need to know where you were, because he already knew. What he didn't know was who exactly had done this. But he was going to find out, now.

Incompetent, selfish, bastards. They would all pay for this. The lazy piggish Fatui soldiers who he should've never trusted with such a simple task and the thieves who had murdered you. They all had it rightfully coming.

Scaramouche hates the world after he lost you

he hates it so much and can't understand how this had happened

he's not a good person, so he blames it on karma and those stupid idiots who couldn't protect you

ngl, he's not gonna be around much after your death... his mother would argue that he should be here to raise your daughter, because she's also in pain and doesn't understand that this isn't some game of hide and seek this time

instead, he's focused and driven by revenge

he doesn't listen to a word anybody says, he's much more dangerous than before, and he only trusts his judgment

anyone trying to get him to stop his mission, is someone who doesn't want to see him happy he thinks (though that's not true at all. they hate that he is obsessive over this) but he will personally put a stop to that

and he'll only return home to his daughter and mother when he finds who did this and they along with their bloodline is exterminated

while he's gone, the remainder of his family is relocated somewhere he knows they'll be safe, for example, even though he despises childe, he knows his mom and daughter will be safe with his family

sorry, but Scaramouche will hold this deep-rooted hatred and love for you after you die

yes, he still loves and misses you dearly, but he hates you for leaving him alone, hates that although it wasn't intentional and out of your control, that you were gone

no matter how hard you tried to fight, it was selfish of you to leave him like this

he's not going to stop until he believes whoever was behind this is dead

and in his case, he'll stop believing when he chooses, even if they are innocent/guilty, he'll keep going

3.19.21, rayofsunas