#technically 1xplayer

[pebbleshake]

crackfic momenr

Stupid crackfic where 1x goes on a block tales?

I wrote this on like… mobile so it took so long because I made so many typos… it’s two am I’m crashing out rn… I made five typos writing this single ooc paragraph… not to mention autocorrect sometimes either helps when you don’t need help or doesn’t help when you do need help. Autocorrect is pretty useful though, otherwise, I would have made sixteen typos this paragraph.

I keep typing h instead of g…

So uhhhhh one day 1x1x1x1 was happily living his life as a normal Robloxian. Okay, saying that he was happily living his life is a lie. You must understand, being a four-dimensional being in a three-dimensional environment is very limiting and depressing. Whaaatever.

He’s using a perfectly undetectable disguise, put together with a total of zero robux! A yellow body with a red shirt and blue pants, a form he used to take for a small while in the past! The avatar with the Roundy head is too iconic and he will be recognized immediately.

He is also very poor unfortunately. He can’t just hack in some robux especially with the security Robloxia has now. He can’t really afford a house either. He’s living in a hotel room in Bizville, keeping a close eye on Roblox HQ which is just a few blocks away.

This sucked for him, but at least this existence is better than just rotting in the Banlands. Ehhh, not by a lot though.

He decides to watch some TV because he is bored as hell.

“Good morning ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in-between! Today is the long-awaited ROBLOX VIP Convention!”

The broadcaster starts speaking. Never mind, he feels even more bored already…

“I hope you have your tickets… it’s gonna be great! And of course… the star of the show… CEO DAVID BASZUCKI will be making a grand appearance!”

Huh. Builderman, huh? Maybe he’ll go…

“We at Innovation News Services will cover it LIVE! With only a few minutes ‘till the start of the show…”

“…We urge any stragglers to make their way to the convention site! The topics to be discussed at this Convention are in! Motion-Capture AI to create UGC Emotes! Further optimizations for multi-hundred-player experiences! And of course… the anticipated Live-Streaming integration! Make sure to head out early… you don’t want to miss it!”

He honestly doesn’t care about these ‘optimizations’ and stuff. He’s more-so focused on the fact that David Baszucki was there. Hey, and maybe a specific someone, was also there, too.

1x1x1x1 hasn’t touched grass in a while, he should totally touch grass.

He turns off the TV and drags himself to the door, opening it before being flash-banged by the sun’s rays and being blinded.

.

“Hey there! What’cha think of my new fit for today?! Pretty snazzy if I do say so myself!”

In a daze, still being blinded and unable to see who was talking, he nods. If he was able to see, he would throw up on sight. Perhaps being blinded was a good thing.

“Are you on your way to the VIP Convention bro?”

“I’m on my way right now.”

He responds. Oh Telamon he sounds like a dying old man that hadn’t used his vocal cords for 2763 years right now. The guy stares at him in confusion before nodding.

“Well, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there then! I’ll be heading over in a minute. I’m a bit busy saying hi to all these awesome townsfolk! Bizville’s really busy this time of year, after all! You should go introduce yourself to a couple of them! Friendships are what last a lifetime, after all!”

‘This guy yaps too much,’ 1x1x1x1 thinks. But he nods, politely.

“Where’s the convention being held?”

“Oh! You didn’t hear? It’s at ROBLOX HQ this year! You know how to get there… right?”

Of course he did. He was literally created there, despite how much he hated that place. He simply nods, not wanting to use his dying vocal cords right now.

“Good luck dude! See you after the VIP Convention!”

Finally. He doesn’t have the patience to say hi to everyone here, nor does he have the social interaction skills. He drags himself down the road with the worst back posture ever.

“Hey!”

A male voice shouts from the distance. 1x1x1x1 turns to see, it’s a small penguin. Or actually, two small penguins. A female and a male. The male seemed older by a little.

“Harry! Don’t be talking to strangers! You know what Great-Uncle Jerry said…”

The smaller, female penguin scolded.

“What’s up?”

1x1x1x1 waves. This is stupid and awkward, he thinks to himself. He hopes the penguins don’t comment on his extra crispy voice.

“See! This stranger doesn’t mind!”

The dark-blue brother points gleefully, looking at his sister. The sister simply sighs. The male penguin turns back to 1x1x1x1.

“Have you seen our grandpa around here? He was supposed to be grabbing some ice cream…”

“Don’t worry about it, Harry! He’s probably just being slow again… Or picking a fight with the cashier.”

“Haha! Yeah!! He’s probably all like… ‘I’LL KILL YOU!!!’ Hahahaha!!!”

The older sibling laughs joyously.

“…That’s not a good thing, Harry…”

“Whatever Mary! Don’t be a stick in the mud…”

“HEY!”

Why do people yap so much? 1x1x1x1 wonders. He assumes the children have already forgotten about him.

“Um…?”

“Oh! I forgot you were still here… Are you heading to the VIP Convention too?”

1x1x1x1 nods.

“Yoooooo!! That’s sick! You should come sit with us and grandpa during it!”

“…He’s usually so loud people tend to sit far away…”

“Don’t worry about it! We’re gonna see you there!”

“Um… Harry… They didn’t agree yet…”

“WE’LL SEE YOU THERE, STRANGER!!!”

Mary sighs exasperatedly. Finally. 1x1x1x1 is just glad he doesn’t have to listen to these children talk anymore. Roblox HQ was just right up ahead!

1x1x1x1 quickly rushes in. Many popular people and admins were there, if even one of them knew his identity… let’s just say he would be more than just ‘cooked.’ He was trying to find that specific someone, but to no avail, he wasn’t here.

He recognizes a lot of these people, but they bring nothing but bad memories. Whatever. To the convention!

Walking in, he hears a lot of commotion. There JParty was.

“Good morning, fellow imagineers! The Visionaries Innovation Presentation begins shortly! Please take your seats, and silence your cellphones!”

Oh, and the penguins from earlier!

“Hey! We’re over here!”

Harry yells, although it is barely audible over all the noise in the huge room.

“Come sit with us! We saved a spot for you!”

Mary adds on. 1x1x1x1 decides it would be too rude to decline. Plus, he didn’t see any vacant space anywhere else.

“Eh?! Who’s this dipface you kids brought over?!”

The old penguin besides the two children demands.

“Shhh!!! Quiet, Gramps!”

Harry shushed.

.

.

.

“Welcome friends, creators, and community alike! To the greatest platform on Earth… With the greatest fans on Earth… Pioneered by the minds of the future… all of YOU!”

JParty announced. 1x1x1x1 visibly cringed at the thought of this, but thankfully no one saw him, or it’d look reaaaally bad. This was a Roblox convention after all.

“Please put your hands together… For the founder and CEO of ROBLOX… BUILDERMAN himself… DAVID BASZUCKI!”

Everyone cheered as Builderman took the stage.

“Oh goodness… Hello Everyone! This is a record year for the ROBLOX’s VIP Convention… We have over 70 countries of developers here today! Brazil, Mexico, Indonesia, Sweden… and many more! Welcome, creators from all walks of life! Please give them a round of applause!”

Clapping erupted from all sides of the room. 1x1x1x1 could faintly hear the old penguin beside him mumbling.

“There he is… haven’t spoken to Dave in a while.”

“Shhhhh!! Be quiet, Gramps!”

Mary shushed this time.

“When Eric and I founded Roblox… We wanted to connect the world through play. And many years later, that dream has been realized. Connection through play reaches those in need and isolation. And brings them into the light to find happiness.”

Snoring…? The penguin beside him had fallen asleep. 1x1x1x1 agreed, this was getting very boring. He swears that watching the penguin sleep was more entertaining than listening to Builderman doze on and on about creativity and stuff.

“Your amazing content supports making differences. It’s YOUR kindness… YOUR creativity… THAT is what changes the lives of others. And with hundreds of millions of monthly active users… your impact is left, and ROBLOX has NEVER been better-”

.

.

.

“Yeah, Right.

“Excuse me? JParty… Did I miss a segment transition cue?”

1x1x1x1’s attention snapped back to Builderman. Who said that…? He looked around, trying to locate the source of the voice. Oh, up there, at the ceiling! Eh. He couldn’t be bothered to help though.

“You think you’re so GRAND, HUH?! Spouting all those words… and for WHAT?!

“I-I think we’re experiencing some technical difficulties here…”

The mercenaries jump down along with their boss, a hooded figure mysteriously covered by a hood. The noob mercenaries tie Builderman up. 1x1x1x1 squints and tries to figure out who it was, but it’s too dark and his eyes had recently been blinded by the sun. Damn it!

“n-No! It can’t be!”

“You recognize ME?! How… curious… YOU took EVERYTHING from your community. Took EVERYTHING… from ALL of us! YOU just HAS to throw us aside. It’s… S I C K E N I N G .”

1x1x1x1 couldn’t help but agree with this statement, but whaaatever. He’s changed, whether or not it was by force or by choice was still questionable though.

“Hmm… I don’t think this was in the script… BUT FEAR NOT! Don’t worry, David “BUILDERMAN” Baszucki! As the CIP’s Honorary Host, I’m also… Your Honorary Bodyguard! Take this, you fiend!”

JParty does a useless triple front flip onto the stage and throws his super ball with all his might, only to be deflected by one of the mercenaries, before being smacked with a small wooden sword, knocking him unconscious. 1x1x1x1 holds the urge to snicker, this was ridiculous. Ridiculously pathetic, that is.

“Ahhh!!!”

Mary yells. The crowd bursts into chatter. Did the convention get hijacked?

“Is he okay?! What’s going on?!

“Grandpa! GRANDPA!! WAKE UP!!!”

“zzzzz… Eh?! Wuh… What?! HUH?! WAIT A MINUTE!! I REMEMBER YOU!! …AND DON’T THINK OL’ TERRY'S FORGOTTEN YOU EITHER.”

1x1x1x1 blinks twice. What? Is this what dementia looks like? He has never seen this weird penguin in his life before.

“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

The old penguin threatens, which the figure just scoffs at. He stands up, wobbling a little with that cane of his.

“Come on, bruh! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?! Get up there and SLAP THEM UP!!”

Was he referring to… him!? Been a while? He has never done this before. He doesn’t have his old powers either, so if he did agree, he’d have to use some sort of weapon, that ball…? He tilts his head to the side a little.

“Eh?! What do you MEAN you’ve never done this before?! You’ve always been such a liar! You haven’t changed a bit, have you?!”

Huh? Did he… know…-?

“Whatever bruh… GET ON YOUR STUPID FEET!! Let’s KICK their can TOGETHER! ONE LAST TIME!!”

1x1x1x1, in a confused and nervous state, agreed immediately and stood up, believing that if he complied, the penguin wouldn’t leak his personal information. He quickly grabbed the ball and climbed onto the stage.

It was pretty easy to deal with two mercenaries, a boop with the ball and they were down! He felt… incredibly weak though. He was not used to this nor did he like it. Fortunately, he quickly relearned how to use the ball and took both mercenaries out.

All that was left now was the mysterious figure…

“How… interesting. How… FASCINATING. Never… NEVER did I expect this. An enigma, free of conventional order and wisdom… How… INSULTANT. And yet… it seems… so different.”

1x1x1x1 was very confused right now, but he doubted that the figure knew his identity. He wanted to bonk this figure on the head right here and right now, ending it all, but he had to let the villain give his sad backstory or whatever.

“…Ah. Then there is no need to worry. You’re a COWARD wearing facades of revolutionaries. As prayers are not born from the lives of the bliss.”

He was not blissful in the third dimension, that’s for sure. But keep yapping.

“Oh… vessel of suffering. Let us strive to unravel the mysteries of this world. As we perform our own choreography… To the melodies of a timeless choir. Let us… strive, 1x1x1x1. To make right what ALWAYS should’ve been remembered.”

Dude, this guy needs to stop sharing his personal information. Thankfully, no one pays attention. The figure’s words make him a little uneasy…

“No!! Please!! This ISN’T supposed to happen yet!!—!!!”

Builderman cried out. What the hell did he mean by ‘yet!?’

“That device! Aim for the device, dude!!”

That was a time machine! Impressive technology for a Robloxian, 1x1x1x1 had to say, but personally, he still didn’t like Robloxians, especially now that they’re messing with time. Aiming for that was NOT a good idea, but what other choice did he have?

With all the strength he had, he threw the ball straight at the machine, a much better throw than what JParty could do.

And… It sucked them up. The figure, 1x1x1x1 himself, and Builderman. They were going to be transported into the past.