#spent negative effort
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pebbleshake · 3 days ago
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crackfic momenr
Stupid crackfic where 1x goes on a block tales?
I wrote this on like… mobile so it took so long because I made so many typos… it’s two am I’m crashing out rn… I made five typos writing this single ooc paragraph… not to mention autocorrect sometimes either helps when you don’t need help or doesn’t help when you do need help. Autocorrect is pretty useful though, otherwise, I would have made sixteen typos this paragraph.
I keep typing h instead of g…
So uhhhhh one day 1x1x1x1 was happily living his life as a normal Robloxian. Okay, saying that he was happily living his life is a lie. You must understand, being a four-dimensional being in a three-dimensional environment is very limiting and depressing. Whaaatever.
He’s using a perfectly undetectable disguise, put together with a total of zero robux! A yellow body with a red shirt and blue pants, a form he used to take for a small while in the past! The avatar with the Roundy head is too iconic and he will be recognized immediately.
He is also very poor unfortunately. He can’t just hack in some robux especially with the security Robloxia has now. He can’t really afford a house either. He’s living in a hotel room in Bizville, keeping a close eye on Roblox HQ which is just a few blocks away.
This sucked for him, but at least this existence is better than just rotting in the Banlands. Ehhh, not by a lot though.
He decides to watch some TV because he is bored as hell.
“Good morning ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in-between! Today is the long-awaited ROBLOX VIP Convention!”
The broadcaster starts speaking. Never mind, he feels even more bored already…
“I hope you have your tickets… it’s gonna be great! And of course… the star of the show… CEO DAVID BASZUCKI will be making a grand appearance!”
Huh. Builderman, huh? Maybe he’ll go…
“We at Innovation News Services will cover it LIVE! With only a few minutes ‘till the start of the show…”
“…We urge any stragglers to make their way to the convention site! The topics to be discussed at this Convention are in! Motion-Capture AI to create UGC Emotes! Further optimizations for multi-hundred-player experiences! And of course… the anticipated Live-Streaming integration! Make sure to head out early… you don’t want to miss it!”
He honestly doesn’t care about these ‘optimizations’ and stuff. He’s more-so focused on the fact that David Baszucki was there. Hey, and maybe a specific someone, was also there, too.
1x1x1x1 hasn’t touched grass in a while, he should totally touch grass.
He turns off the TV and drags himself to the door, opening it before being flash-banged by the sun’s rays and being blinded.
.
“Hey there! What’cha think of my new fit for today?! Pretty snazzy if I do say so myself!”
In a daze, still being blinded and unable to see who was talking, he nods. If he was able to see, he would throw up on sight. Perhaps being blinded was a good thing.
“Are you on your way to the VIP Convention bro?”
“I’m on my way right now.”
He responds. Oh Telamon he sounds like a dying old man that hadn’t used his vocal cords for 2763 years right now. The guy stares at him in confusion before nodding.
“Well, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there then! I’ll be heading over in a minute. I’m a bit busy saying hi to all these awesome townsfolk! Bizville’s really busy this time of year, after all! You should go introduce yourself to a couple of them! Friendships are what last a lifetime, after all!”
‘This guy yaps too much,’ 1x1x1x1 thinks. But he nods, politely.
“Where’s the convention being held?”
“Oh! You didn’t hear? It’s at ROBLOX HQ this year! You know how to get there… right?”
Of course he did. He was literally created there, despite how much he hated that place. He simply nods, not wanting to use his dying vocal cords right now.
“Good luck dude! See you after the VIP Convention!”
Finally. He doesn’t have the patience to say hi to everyone here, nor does he have the social interaction skills. He drags himself down the road with the worst back posture ever.
“Hey!”
A male voice shouts from the distance. 1x1x1x1 turns to see, it’s a small penguin. Or actually, two small penguins. A female and a male. The male seemed older by a little.
“Harry! Don’t be talking to strangers! You know what Great-Uncle Jerry said…”
The smaller, female penguin scolded.
“What’s up?”
1x1x1x1 waves. This is stupid and awkward, he thinks to himself. He hopes the penguins don’t comment on his extra crispy voice.
“See! This stranger doesn’t mind!”
The dark-blue brother points gleefully, looking at his sister. The sister simply sighs. The male penguin turns back to 1x1x1x1.
“Have you seen our grandpa around here? He was supposed to be grabbing some ice cream…”
“Don’t worry about it, Harry! He’s probably just being slow again… Or picking a fight with the cashier.”
“Haha! Yeah!! He’s probably all like… ‘I’LL KILL YOU!!!’ Hahahaha!!!”
The older sibling laughs joyously.
“…That’s not a good thing, Harry…”
“Whatever Mary! Don’t be a stick in the mud…”
“HEY!”
Why do people yap so much? 1x1x1x1 wonders. He assumes the children have already forgotten about him.
“Um…?”
“Oh! I forgot you were still here… Are you heading to the VIP Convention too?”
1x1x1x1 nods.
“Yoooooo!! That’s sick! You should come sit with us and grandpa during it!”
“…He’s usually so loud people tend to sit far away…”
“Don’t worry about it! We’re gonna see you there!”
“Um… Harry… They didn’t agree yet…”
“WE’LL SEE YOU THERE, STRANGER!!!”
Mary sighs exasperatedly. Finally. 1x1x1x1 is just glad he doesn’t have to listen to these children talk anymore. Roblox HQ was just right up ahead!
1x1x1x1 quickly rushes in. Many popular people and admins were there, if even one of them knew his identity… let’s just say he would be more than just ‘cooked.’ He was trying to find that specific someone, but to no avail, he wasn’t here.
He recognizes a lot of these people, but they bring nothing but bad memories. Whatever. To the convention!
Walking in, he hears a lot of commotion. There JParty was.
“Good morning, fellow imagineers! The Visionaries Innovation Presentation begins shortly! Please take your seats, and silence your cellphones!”
Oh, and the penguins from earlier!
“Hey! We’re over here!”
Harry yells, although it is barely audible over all the noise in the huge room.
“Come sit with us! We saved a spot for you!”
Mary adds on. 1x1x1x1 decides it would be too rude to decline. Plus, he didn’t see any vacant space anywhere else.
“Eh?! Who’s this dipface you kids brought over?!”
The old penguin besides the two children demands.
“Shhh!!! Quiet, Gramps!”
Harry shushed.
.
.
.
“Welcome friends, creators, and community alike! To the greatest platform on Earth… With the greatest fans on Earth… Pioneered by the minds of the future… all of YOU!”
JParty announced. 1x1x1x1 visibly cringed at the thought of this, but thankfully no one saw him, or it’d look reaaaally bad. This was a Roblox convention after all.
“Please put your hands together… For the founder and CEO of ROBLOX… BUILDERMAN himself… DAVID BASZUCKI!”
Everyone cheered as Builderman took the stage.
“Oh goodness… Hello Everyone! This is a record year for the ROBLOX’s VIP Convention… We have over 70 countries of developers here today! Brazil, Mexico, Indonesia, Sweden… and many more! Welcome, creators from all walks of life! Please give them a round of applause!”
Clapping erupted from all sides of the room. 1x1x1x1 could faintly hear the old penguin beside him mumbling.
“There he is… haven’t spoken to Dave in a while.”
“Shhhhh!! Be quiet, Gramps!”
Mary shushed this time.
“When Eric and I founded Roblox… We wanted to connect the world through play. And many years later, that dream has been realized. Connection through play reaches those in need and isolation. And brings them into the light to find happiness.”
Snoring…? The penguin beside him had fallen asleep. 1x1x1x1 agreed, this was getting very boring. He swears that watching the penguin sleep was more entertaining than listening to Builderman doze on and on about creativity and stuff.
“Your amazing content supports making differences. It’s YOUR kindness… YOUR creativity… THAT is what changes the lives of others. And with hundreds of millions of monthly active users… your impact is left, and ROBLOX has NEVER been better-”
.
.
.
“Yeah, Right.
“Excuse me? JParty… Did I miss a segment transition cue?”
1x1x1x1’s attention snapped back to Builderman. Who said that…? He looked around, trying to locate the source of the voice. Oh, up there, at the ceiling! Eh. He couldn’t be bothered to help though.
“You think you’re so GRAND, HUH?! Spouting all those words… and for WHAT?!
“I-I think we’re experiencing some technical difficulties here…”
The mercenaries jump down along with their boss, a hooded figure mysteriously covered by a hood. The noob mercenaries tie Builderman up. 1x1x1x1 squints and tries to figure out who it was, but it’s too dark and his eyes had recently been blinded by the sun. Damn it!
“n-No! It can’t be!”
“You recognize ME?! How… curious… YOU took EVERYTHING from your community. Took EVERYTHING… from ALL of us! YOU just HAS to throw us aside. It’s… S I C K E N I N G .”
1x1x1x1 couldn’t help but agree with this statement, but whaaatever. He’s changed, whether or not it was by force or by choice was still questionable though.
“Hmm… I don’t think this was in the script… BUT FEAR NOT! Don’t worry, David “BUILDERMAN” Baszucki! As the CIP’s Honorary Host, I’m also… Your Honorary Bodyguard! Take this, you fiend!”
JParty does a useless triple front flip onto the stage and throws his super ball with all his might, only to be deflected by one of the mercenaries, before being smacked with a small wooden sword, knocking him unconscious. 1x1x1x1 holds the urge to snicker, this was ridiculous. Ridiculously pathetic, that is.
“Ahhh!!!”
Mary yells. The crowd bursts into chatter. Did the convention get hijacked?
“Is he okay?! What’s going on?!
“Grandpa! GRANDPA!! WAKE UP!!!”
“zzzzz… Eh?! Wuh… What?! HUH?! WAIT A MINUTE!! I REMEMBER YOU!! …AND DON’T THINK OL’ TERRY'S FORGOTTEN YOU EITHER.”
1x1x1x1 blinks twice. What? Is this what dementia looks like? He has never seen this weird penguin in his life before.
“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”
The old penguin threatens, which the figure just scoffs at. He stands up, wobbling a little with that cane of his.
“Come on, bruh! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?! Get up there and SLAP THEM UP!!”
Was he referring to… him!? Been a while? He has never done this before. He doesn’t have his old powers either, so if he did agree, he’d have to use some sort of weapon, that ball…? He tilts his head to the side a little.
“Eh?! What do you MEAN you’ve never done this before?! You’ve always been such a liar! You haven’t changed a bit, have you?!”
Huh? Did he… know…-?
“Whatever bruh… GET ON YOUR STUPID FEET!! Let’s KICK their can TOGETHER! ONE LAST TIME!!”
1x1x1x1, in a confused and nervous state, agreed immediately and stood up, believing that if he complied, the penguin wouldn’t leak his personal information. He quickly grabbed the ball and climbed onto the stage.
It was pretty easy to deal with two mercenaries, a boop with the ball and they were down! He felt… incredibly weak though. He was not used to this nor did he like it. Fortunately, he quickly relearned how to use the ball and took both mercenaries out.
All that was left now was the mysterious figure…
“How… interesting. How… FASCINATING. Never… NEVER did I expect this. An enigma, free of conventional order and wisdom… How… INSULTANT. And yet… it seems… so different.”
1x1x1x1 was very confused right now, but he doubted that the figure knew his identity. He wanted to bonk this figure on the head right here and right now, ending it all, but he had to let the villain give his sad backstory or whatever.
“…Ah. Then there is no need to worry. You’re a COWARD wearing facades of revolutionaries. As prayers are not born from the lives of the bliss.”
He was not blissful in the third dimension, that’s for sure. But keep yapping.
“Oh… vessel of suffering. Let us strive to unravel the mysteries of this world. As we perform our own choreography… To the melodies of a timeless choir. Let us… strive, 1x1x1x1. To make right what ALWAYS should’ve been remembered.”
Dude, this guy needs to stop sharing his personal information. Thankfully, no one pays attention. The figure’s words make him a little uneasy…
“No!! Please!! This ISN’T supposed to happen yet!!—!!!”
Builderman cried out. What the hell did he mean by ‘yet!?’
“That device! Aim for the device, dude!!”
That was a time machine! Impressive technology for a Robloxian, 1x1x1x1 had to say, but personally, he still didn’t like Robloxians, especially now that they’re messing with time. Aiming for that was NOT a good idea, but what other choice did he have?
With all the strength he had, he threw the ball straight at the machine, a much better throw than what JParty could do.
And… It sucked them up. The figure, 1x1x1x1 himself, and Builderman. They were going to be transported into the past.
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irrevocablecondition · 7 months ago
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if i scroll your comment section on tiktok and i see that you haven't deleted negative comments about a fic, just know that i'm blowing you up in my mind. especially if you've responded to other comments since and just,,,, left the hate up.
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psittacined · 5 months ago
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Feeling really frustrated with rhubarb today/ this week.
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shiraishi--kanade · 7 months ago
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PSA: reblogging a post with more tags will not make that post show up in the tag unless it was already there originally. This basically means that your rb tags are for your blog organisation purposes only and for your mutuals to filter out.
Example:
OP: god I love blorbo bleebus #blorbo #blorbo bleebus #bleebusshow
rb: #so true #bleebusshow #blorbo from bleebusshow #bleebusshow season 1 spoilers #blorbo bleebus character analysis
What will happen now is that your followers who filtered the tag #bleebusshow season 1 spoilers will no longer see the post, as well as the other tags you've rb'ed with and the op's tags if they filtered those out. However, the post itself will only show up in the first three tags OP put, and therefore won't show up in, for example, #blorbo bleebus character analysis.
I'm not sure if this applies to rbs with additions, but that's the gist of how it works. Which is to say that you can't add tags in order to make the post reach a wider audience as a reblog because it just doesn't work that way. Nobody's stopping you because it's harmless either way, but that is quite redundant and honestly a waste of time.
If it's an important source of information, you'd be better off either reaching out to op asking them to add more tags or just flat out reposting with your own wording and sources and adding your tags. If it's fandom... You're probably not able to do anything by adding more tags. In which case rb'ing multiple times or queueing for later will do the post more good than adding a lot of tags on a single rb.
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majortomwaits · 8 months ago
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gothneilyoung.mp4
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hearthomelesbian · 10 months ago
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*girl who only has second hand batman knowledge voice* jason todd...
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shirogane-oushirou · 1 year ago
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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miss-morland · 6 months ago
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wish i had marketable skills that weren’t deeply associated with trauma lmao
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cloverapple · 5 months ago
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How To Finally Shift If You’ve Been Trying For 2+ Years
⚠️ Little warning before we begin: don’t get scared off! I might sound a little negative at first, but that’s not the point of this post. My goal is for you to reach the end of this and think “Oh, I’m definitely going to shift to my DR now!”
Having said that:
If you’ve been on your shifting journey for two or more years, doing methods, reprogramming your mind, consuming advice, maintaining a mental diet, manifesting, forcing assumptions, trying to create assumptions, etc, etc⏤and you still haven’t shifted your awareness to your DR, maybe it’s time to stop trying to make yourself shift.
Stop trying to shift.
Stop trying to trigger a shift.
Maybe the thing you need at this point in your journey is to stop trying to make yourself shift.
And I’ll explain why by asking you a question:
In these two, three, four, however many years of effort, don’t you think you would have shifted by now?
Think about it. You’ve oversaturated your mind with the intention to shift. You do all your methods correctly. You try to convince yourself that you're already in your DR. You feel symptoms. Sometimes you even "mini shift." And yet… you're still here. Doing the same things. Searching for advice that leads you right back to doing the same thing:
Trying to shift. Trying to trigger a shift. Trying to shift your awareness.
Trying.
Trying confidently.
Trying hopelessly.
Trying angrily.
…Trying.
If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, triggering a shift, or successfully shifting with a method, it would have happened by now.
“But Clover, I still have a lot of soul-searching and work to do! I just need to put in more effort!”
Awesome! Then click away, because this advice isn’t for you. I’m not talking to you.
I’m talking to the person who is tired. Who is drained. Who, despite applying all the sage advice on the internet, is just burnt out from the process of shifting.
And if that sounds like you, let me repeat: Maybe you need to stop actively trying to shift.
Your work is done. And that’s a good thing.
You’ve spent years ingraining the idea of shifting into your subconscious. You’ve impressed the intention to shift so deeply that it’s already there. Congratulations! You did all the mental work. It’s done.
Your DR is already yours. You already have the ability to shift.
So stop trying to trigger it. Stop trying to make yourself shift.
Let go of the “making yourself shift” process.
“Oh my god, she’s going to tell me to take a break.”
LMAO you thought.
Yes, breaks are excellent. They help reset and recharge your mindset. I always encourage taking breaks if you need them. But let’s be honest. Sometimes, even the thought of taking a break feels just as mentally exhausting as staying on your shifting journey.
“Oh no, she’s going to tell me to do nothing at all.”
Once again, you thought.
Instead, you’re going to capitalize on the fact that you’ve already done all this work. The intention to shift is always, always, always in your mind. Your subconscious knows you want to shift. Just like it knows how to shift your awareness.
So, the next time you lay down to do your shifting process...
Instead of trying to shift…
Instead of trying to induce a shift, induce the void, or force an outcome…
Give yourself exactly what you want.
Give yourself the feeling of being in your DR.
Drop the conscious, active intention to shift because your subconscious already has it covered. You don’t need to keep hammering it in. Instead, focus on inducing the emotions you would feel if you were in your DR.
Imagine waking up in your DR. Imagine being there. Imagine spending time with your DR friends, your S/O, whatever makes you happiest. Personally, I lean toward wake-up scenarios. You can listen to music, meditate, visualize, even do a shifting method if you enjoy it—but instead of doing it with the intention to shift, you’re doing it just to give your body and mind the feeling of being there. The happiness, the calm, the excitement, whatever it is for you.
This does not mean you’re lying there thinking, “Okay, this is going to make me shift.”
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Drop the idea of shifting entirely. That process is done.
And I’ll say it one more time:
If you were going to shift by inducing a shift, making yourself shift, or triggering a shift, it would have happened already.
So let it go. Drop it.
Induce the emotions of being in your DR, and then let go. Once you do that, go to sleep. Or go about your day. That’s it.
So why does this actually make you shift?
Because feeling is the language of the subconscious.
Think about it: The moments in your life that shaped you the most weren’t just things you thought. They were things you felt deeply. Joy, fear, excitement, grief. Emotions imprint on the subconscious. That’s why certain smells, songs, or places instantly bring back vivid memories. Because your subconscious records experiences based on emotions, not logic.
So when you stop trying to shift and instead just focus on feeling like you’re in your DR, your subconscious responds by aligning your awareness to match that emotional state.
Because to the subconscious, there’s no difference between imagination and reality. When you visualize something vividly enough, your brain fires the same neurons as if you were actually experiencing it. Athletes use this trick to enhance performance. Musicians use it to refine their skills. And guess what? It works for shifting too.
When you let go of the effort and just immerse yourself in the emotions of already being there, you bypass the resistance that trying creates.
And that’s when the shift happens.
It happens because you stopped forcing it.
It happens because your subconscious already knows how to shift, you just needed to get out of its way.
So, again, drop the struggle. Drop the effort. Stop trying to shift.
The more precise or perfect you want the shift to be, the more pressure you put on yourself. Your brain rebels against that because rigid control drains energy.
Remember this:
High Emotion + Low Attachment = Flow.
When you feel something strongly but aren’t clinging to the result, your subconscious has room to act. This is why sometimes, when you care less or focus on something in a passing, emotional way, it manifests easily.
This is why people can give up on shifting entirely and shift. This is why people let go of the need to shift and shift. This is why you shift without meaning to.
You: “No, I can’t do this! I need to keep trying to shift or else my subconscious will think I don’t want to shift anymore!”
Me:
youtube
*As always, take what resonates, discard what doesn’t, because we’re all different people who need to hear different things :)
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gaza-giving-tree · 4 months ago
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Imagine walking for miles beneath a merciless sun, each step a battle against exhaustion. The empty water containers in your hands feel heavier with every faltering step, but you press on through rubble-strewn streets, driven by the desperate need to find clean water for your family.
Your vision blurs, dark spots dancing at the edges, and your heart pounds with the effort to stay upright. The heat is suffocating, your limbs tremble with fatigue, but you force yourself forward, refusing to give in. Then, without warning, your strength gives out. Your legs buckle, and you collapse onto the burning earth, dust rising around you as darkness claims your senses.
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Images: Ahmed Aldani, a chronically ill teenager from Gaza, is trying to raise money to evacuate and receive medical treatment abroad.
@ahmedaldanigg
@ahmedaldani333
Story written by @rumiandroses
For most in Gaza, each day is a battle for survival—but for fifteen year old Ahmed Aldani, who is chronically ill, the struggle is far more severe. His body is being pushed to its limits by the relentless strain of hunger, pain, and exhaustion. He needs urgent medical care and a chance to escape the nightmare that has become his everyday life.
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Image: Ahmed recently reached out to us with an update on his condition.
Every task, no matter how small, has become a struggle for survival. Just a few weeks ago, Ahmed collapsed while walking 3 kilometers (almost 2 miles) to fill water—his body having difficulty sustaining the effort, in desperate need of medical care that, without financial help, is out of reach for Ahmed and his family.
Born amidst conflict, Ahmed has spent all fifteen years of his life enduring the effects of war. The development of his teeth and hair were negatively impacted by toxic gas his mother inhaled during a phosphorus attack while pregnant with him in 2008. The recommended treatment—dental implants—is far beyond his family’s means, with each tooth costing around $1,000. But without treatment, the pain and exhaustion will only worsen.
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Images: The development of Ahmed's hair and teeth were impacted by white phosphorus that his mother accidentally inhaled after an occupation attack near the family home in 2008.
Ahmed’s family has been displaced more than seven times in the past ten months, their savings drained just to stay alive. They now live in the southern part of Gaza, jobless and with no access to proper medical care.
This GoFundMe is a lifeline, both for Ahmed’s survival and for his family’s chance to escape Gaza and access the medical treatment he so desperately needs. The goal is to raise $50,000 to cover travel expenses, medical care, and a chance for Ahmed to finally rest, heal, and grow up without pain overshadowing every moment.
Ahmed needs your help—now more than ever. Even the smallest donation can help bring him closer to the care he needs to reclaim his health and his future.
You can donate to Ahmed's GoFundMe campaign [HERE].
Ahmed's campaign has been vetted by @gazavetters, and is (#198) on their list of verified campaigns.
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batboyblog · 1 year ago
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Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #26
July 5-12 2024
The IRS announced it had managed to collect $1 billion in back taxes from high-wealth tax cheats. The program focused on persons with more than $1 million in yearly income who owned more than $250,000 in unpaid taxes. Thanks to money in Biden's 2022 Inflation Reduction Act the IRS is able to undertake more enforcement against rich tax cheats after years of Republicans cutting the agency's budget, which they hope to do again if they win power again.
The Biden administration announced a $244 million dollar investment in the federal government’s registered apprenticeship program. This marks the largest investment in the program's history with grants going out to 52 programs in 32 states. The President is focused on getting well paying blue collar opportunities to people and more people are taking part in the apprenticeship program than ever before. Republican pledge to cut it, even as employers struggle to find qualified workers.
The Department of Transportation announced the largest single project in the department's history, $11 billion dollars in grants for the The Hudson River Tunnel. Part of the $66 billion the Biden Administration has invested in our rail system the tunnel, the most complex Infrastructure project in the nation would link New York and New Jersey by rail under the Hudson. Once finished it's believed it'll impact 20% of the American economy by improving and speeding connection throughout the Northeast.
The Department of Energy announced $1.7 billion to save auto worker's jobs and convert factories to electronic vehicles. The Biden administration will used the money to save or reopen factories in Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, and Virginia and retool them to make electric cars. The project will save 15,000 skilled union worker jobs, and created 2,900 new high-quality jobs.
The Department of Housing and Urban Development reached a settlement with The Appraisal Foundation over racial discrimination. TAF is the organization responsible for setting standards and qualifications for real estate appraisers. The Bureau of Labor Statistics last year found that TAF was 94.7% White and 0.6% Black, making it the least racially diverse of the 800 occupations surveyed. Black and Latino home owners are far more likely to have their houses under valued than whites. Under the settlement with HUD TAF will have to take serious steps to increase diversity and remove structural barriers to diversity.
The Department of Justice disrupted an effort by the Russian government to influence public opinion through AI bots. The DoJ shut down nearly 1,000 twitter accounts that were linked to a Russian Bot farm. The bots used AI technology to not only generate tweets but also AI image faces for profile pictures. The effort seemed focused on boosting support for Russia's war against Ukraine and spread negative stories/impressions about Ukraine.
The Department of Transportation announces $1.5 billion to help local authorities buy made in America buses. 80% of the funding will go toward zero or low-emission technology, a part of the President's goal of reaching zero emissions by 2050. This is part of the $5 billion the DOT has spent over the last 3 years replacing aging buses with new cleaner technology.
President Biden with Canadian Prime Minster Justin Trudeau and Finnish President Alexander Stubb signed a new agreement on the arctic. The new trilateral agreement between the 3 NATO partners, known as the ICE Pact, will boost production of ice breaking ships, the 3 plan to build as many as 90 between them in the coming years. The alliance hopes to be a counter weight to China's current dominance in the ice breaker market and help western allies respond to Russia's aggressive push into the arctic waters.
The Department of Transportation announced $1.1 billion for greater rail safety. The program seeks to, where ever possible, eliminate rail crossings, thus removing the dangers and inconvenience to communities divided by rail lines. It will also help update and improve safety measures at rail crossings.
The Department of the Interior announced $120 million to help tribal communities prepare for climate disasters. This funding is part of half a billion dollars the Biden administration has spent to help tribes build climate resilience, which itself is part of a $50 billion dollar effort to build climate resilience across the nation. This funding will help support drought measures, wildland fire mitigation, community-driven relocation, managed retreat, protect-in-place efforts, and ocean and coastal management.
The USDA announced $100 million in additional funds to help feed low income kids over the summer. Known as "SUN Bucks" or "Summer EBT" the new Biden program grants the families of kids who qualify for free meals at school $120 dollars pre-child for groceries. This comes on top of the traditional SUN Meals program which offers school meals to qualifying children over the summer, as well as the new under President Biden SUN Meals To-Go program which is now offering delivery of meals to low-income children in rural areas. This grant is meant to help local governments build up the Infrastructure to support and distribute SUN Bucks. If fully implemented SUN Bucks could help 30 million kids, but many Republican governors have refused the funding.
USAID announced its giving $100 million to the UN World Food Program to deliver urgently needed food assistance in Gaza. This will bring the total humanitarian aid given by the US to the Palestinian people since the war started in October 2023 to $774 million, the single largest donor nation. President Biden at his press conference last night said that Israel and Hamas have agreed in principle to a ceasefire deal that will end the war and release the hostages. US negotiators are working to close the final gaps between the two sides and end the war.
The Senate confirmed Nancy Maldonado to serve as a Judge on the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Judge Maldonado is the 202nd federal Judge appointed by President Biden to be confirmed. She will the first Latino judge to ever serve on the 7th Circuit which covers Illinois, Indiana, and Wisconsin.
Bonus: At the NATO summit in Washington DC President Biden joined 32 allies in the Ukraine compact. Allies from Japan to Iceland confirmed their support for Ukraine and deepening their commitments to building Ukraine's forces and keeping a free and Democratic Ukraine in the face of Russian aggression. World leaders such as British Prime Minster Keir Starmer, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz, French President Emmanuel Macron, and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, praised President Biden's experience and leadership during the NATO summit
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2productive · 1 year ago
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MANIFESTO OF A DOER
1. If you find something that you want to change, you have two options. One, is to talk about the change you are going to make. Or, two, stop talking. And begin.
2. Avoid easy deadlines. Deadlines serve you best when they are short, hard and, at first glance, impossible. Urgency gets things done.
3. Follow through. On the big things. On the small things. Create a habit of always following through. As habits go, it's a good one to have.
4. Focus on the task. If you are doing something that isn't pushing the task forward, that is called a distraction. Distractions are plentiful. But remember, distractions stop you from doing.
5. Obstacles will come your way. Guaranteed. Think of them as a gift. They will make you stronger. They will make you more creative. Rather than break you, they will define you.
6. Ideas change things. But ideas by themselves change nothing. An idea needs effort to make it happen. Do the work.
7. Leverage your energy. You can't increase the number of hours in a day, but you can multiply your effort. Understand the power of the influencers: The few influence the many. Find your multiplier. The person, the company, the organisations who can acclerarate the change you want to make.
8. What you are doing is hard, but not impossible. Practice optimism.
9. What is the priority today? Ask yourself this every day. It's your job to keep the main thing the main thing.
10. The energy available to get this done is directly proportional to how much it matters to you. Only commit to things that matter.
11. Perfection comes over time. Not at the beginning. Start where you are. But start.
12. Sprint. Rest. Sprint. Rest. Human's get more done in bursts followed by rest. Getting things done isn't about who does the longest hours, but who does the smartest hours.
13. 80% of your time is spent on things that you are not good at. 20% of your time is spent on the things you are very good at. In order to get more done, flip that.
14. Teams multiply change. Teams with a clear purpose, and a clear sense of the change they can make, get the most done.
15. Keep your energy for pushing forward. The past is done. Things out of your control cannot be changed. Energy spent being angry, jealous, or cynical is negative energy. Stay positive.
16. Make a plan. Then accept it can and will change. Making something happen is about being nimble and adaptable.
17. Say no. And say it often. As David Allen says: "You can do anything, but not everything." Protect your time.
18. Making things happen is fun. Making things happen that matter with a team as crazy as you are, is the best fun of all.
19. Little actions repeated relentlessly result in big change. Don't underestimate the importance of 'small' multiplied by 'often'.
20. Make a pact with failure early on. Respect it. But don't fear it. If it occupies your mind whilst doing, it can stop you from winning. Free your mind.
21. Even though you are busy, make time to help others who are at the start of their journey. Give back. It will help you.
22. All teams want to be part of history. Have something big that you want to change. This is bigger than you. You're purpose multiplies the teams stubbornness to get this thing done.
23. if you are going to make change happen, make it a good one. This planet needs as many friends as it can get.
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sanaexus · 3 months ago
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"yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool, but not as cool as me" -bllk boys
synposis- lovesick blue lock boys who can't help but worship the ground their girlfriend walks on (written as girlfriend but please feel free to read this as gn)
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boyfriend!alexis is the type of boyfriend who buys you just because flowers, he has a little too much money and you love flowers putting two and two together he pretty much bought you flowers every other day.
boyfriend!bachira is the type of boyfriend who tries to remember your favorite everything so bad but he just can't because what do you mean olives are fine on pizza but not on anything else? but poor baby tries so hard to memorise everything he can.
boyfriend!chigiri is the type of boyfriend who's the best at giving you advice! it doesn't matter what problem you're facing he somehow has the solution. he's like your mom no matter what the issue is he has a way to resolve it.
boyfriend!eita is the type of boyfriend who cannot keep his hands off you, doesn't matter where or when he's all over you. it's not even remotely sexual in any way either! he just likes being around you, the skin to skin contact makes him feel so comforted and homely.
boyfriend!isagi is the type of boyfriend who's your no.1 supporter and defender. he's your personal hypeman, there isn't a day where he doesn't shower you with compliments, he's also always there to defend your name, doesn't matter who it is he's there insulting them and their entire lineage even if one negative word was spoken about you.
boyfriend!yukimiya is the type of boyfriend who does literally everything for you! he physically stops you from doing basic tasks like putting away the dishes. of course it bothers you because this man is working overtime at this point but he couldn't careless as long as you're being treated like the princess you are.
boyfriend!karasu is the type of boyfriend who's always making you laugh, if you're with him you're gonna always be giggling and cracking jokes, mans does not care where when and who is listening he just wants to hear that sweet melodic giggle, he just loves the sound of your laugh and NEEDS to see you happy.
boyfriend!nagi is the type of boyfriend who's always trying a little bit harder for you. abandoning his previous status of being the laziest person to ever live, he started trying harder for you. not by alot but he's putting just a little bit more effort in everything he does, just so he can be better for you.
boyfriend!sae is the type of boyfriend who's spoiling you rotten. he's away a lot and hates to see you sad so he's always sending these cute (expensive) little gifts he knows you'll like, a chain with a pendant of your favorite flower, chocolates from the country he's currently in, small souvenirs. but when he is with you, be rest assured if you mentioned a single thing, even in passing HE WILL BUY IT FOR YOU. robux? you got it, a new kuromi plushie is out? you got it. he just can't help himself when you're all giddy with excitement.
boyfriend!rin is the type of boyfriend who starts opening up more with you. after the fall out with sae, he closed his poor heart off but then you came and being with you healed his inner child. he started smiling a bit more (only around you), stopped insulting every living creatures existence. he opened about his heart up to you, gradually of course but every insecurity every doubt anything he felt he told it to you, because to him you were his safe space.
boyfriend!reo is the type of boyfriend who makes cute thoughtful gifts, growing up all he got was gifts with monetary value, and no real emotions attached, so when he started dating you. he gave you these cute handmade gifts (obviously he also spent a lot of money on you) and they had this sense of warmth and comfort to them. he also bought you your favourite foods and drinks as a treat almost everyday, they had these small notes telling you how much he loves you and what not! he's so silly in love.
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HI CHAT IM BACK AHAIN AND MY FINALS ARE OVER AND IM FREE THIS IS KUST SOMEJTING SMALL I WANTED TO WRITE BEFORE DEDICATING TIME TO AN ACTUAL FIC PLIS ENJOY 😽😽
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housecow · 1 month ago
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when and how did you decide you wanted to go all in with gaining weight
march 2023, i had a stupid argument with my sister (we added hot sauce to mac n cheese for flavor and she hated that LOL we still bring this argument up)
i’d spent ~6 months by then trying to lose weight and i’d managed to get down to about 220lbs that march, from 265? i was feeling good about it but my sister called me a “fatass” while we were arguing
and i was like. okay. if i went through all that (hated restricting my eating) and am still seen as a fatass (in a negative light) regardless of whatever effort i put into my appearance, i might as well go all in with feedism… bc i do not need to be living to please anyone but myself 🙏
and i haven’t really looked back since haha
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chogiwow · 3 months ago
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the law of unintended consequences. | jake sim (part two)
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→ posits that actions often have unforeseen and unanticipated effects, which may be positive, negative, or neutral, that are not part of the actor's original intent. MASTERLIST | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4
pairing: astrophysicist jake x assistant reader
genre: co-workers to lovers
wc: part 1 – 20k | part 2 – 17.3k
warnings: even more slowburn than before lol, topics of abandonment issues, jake has his first kiss, makeouts, some touching (that's as far as it goes), cheesy ass astronomy rizz :'D
a/n: part 2 finally here !!!! guys, i think i'll complete it in one more part, we haven't even got to the juicy parts, they're both still Realising their feelings for each other i'm really taking the slowburn to another level :'D posting this now since i have a busy weekend ahead and it'll take some time for the final part to come out, so enjoy <3
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nine.
jake wasn't sure when he started noticing the small things.
it wasn't dramatic. it wasn't some grand realization, some epiphany that crashed into him like a runaway train. no, it was more like a slow leak in the ceiling – subtle at first, barely noticeable, until one day, he looked up and realized the whole thing was caving in.
you were still there. still at your desk. still doing your job. but something had changed.
for one, you no longer lingered.
before, you used to wait by his desk after reminding him of a meeting, hovering until he actually got up because you knew how prone he was to getting lost in his own head. you used to place his coffee just within reach of his right hand, knowing that he’d grab it without looking. you used to let out these small sighs when he worked through lunch, before eventually caving and placing a takeout container beside him with an exasperated, “at least eat before you starve.”
but now? now, you just told him his schedule and left. you still got his lunch, but it was left on the side of his desk, impersonal. you still reminded him about meetings, but you never waited for him to actually stand up. and the worst part? he knew it was because of him. because he had snapped at you. because he had made you feel like you had overstepped when, in reality, you were just doing what you had always done – taking care of him.
the guilt sat heavy in his stomach.
well, he had got what he had wanted, right? he had told you to stop caring, to make yourself scarce, and you were doing just that. you were back to being background noise again, the week before had probably just been a blip in time. maybe none of it had even happened – he hadn’t been late to his meeting, he hadn’t spent an entire evening with you sorting through his emails, he hadn’t brought you coffee like a delirious fool. he hadn’t snapped at you – acknowledged your efforts and put you down regardless.
there’s a law in physics, the law of unintended consequences.
jake had spent his life studying the rules that governed the universe. he had built entire theories on cause and effect, on how one action – one force – could change the course of everything around it. but there was a gap in every equation, an unpredictable variable that not even the most meticulous calculations could predict.
it was a rule he had known but never thought to apply to his own life.
and yet, here he was, watching as you followed the letter of his words but not the spirit. he had wanted distance. he had told you as much in sharp, thoughtless words. he had thought, idiotically, that space would bring things back to how they used to be.
instead, it had set something irreversible in motion.
at first, he told himself it was fine. he had bigger things to focus on, deadlines to meet, research papers to finalize. but the problem with noticing something was that you couldn’t stop noticing it. you were efficient, precise, the perfect assistant; exactly as you had been before.
except now, he felt the absence of you.
before, he never had to wonder if he’d make it to meetings on time. you would wait, standing by his desk with that look, the one that told him you knew he’d ignore you if you gave him even a second of leeway. but now? you simply reminded him and left. no hovering. no pointed sighs. no exasperated nudges to get moving.
and then there was the coffee.
it was a small thing, but jake noticed. before, the cup would be exactly where he needed it, always within reach of his dominant hand. a quiet, unconscious act of care. now? it was placed neatly at the edge of his desk, just out of immediate reach. he had to go out of his way to grab it.
it was ridiculous, the way these tiny details unsettled him.
he told himself it didn’t matter. that he had asked for this. that he shouldn’t be so thrown off by things he never even realized he relied on.
and yet.
he wasn’t sure what did it.
maybe it was the moment he saw you cleaning up a stack of files and, in your hurry, ran your hand along the sharp edge of a paper cutter. you barely reacted, shaking off the small drop of blood, about to move on like nothing happened. but something in jake stilled.
something made him sit still and watch like a creep through the crack of his door as you paused in your actions and moved your finger to your lips, gently sucking on the wound till the bleeding stopped.
it was such a small act. so innocent, something akin to a first aid, but his breath hitched. his breath hitched when his eyes tracked your actions, your hand going back to sorting through files, your wound long forgotten.
his body moved before his mind could catch up, his chair scraping against the floor as he stood.
for the first time in days, you actually looked surprised when he placed a bandaid in your palm instead of just tossing it onto your desk.
“you should be more careful,” he said, his voice coming out gruff, almost scolding.
you blinked at him, clearly thrown off, before your expression shuttered back into polite professionalism. “it’s just a small cut.”
jake clenched his jaw. he knew that. of course he knew that. but that wasn’t the point, was it?
still, you thanked him with a nod, applied the bandaid, and carried on like nothing had happened.
and that should have been the end of it.
but it wasn’t.
because jake, who had always been so good at solving problems, had stumbled upon one that didn’t fit neatly into any equation.
the unintended consequence of his distance wasn’t just that you stopped lingering. it was that he now felt like an observer in his own life, watching as something essential slipped away, and—
and he wasn’t sure he liked it.
jake had never been one to believe in regret. he made decisions, and he lived with them. he adjusted. he recalibrated. he hadn’t cared much when only his mom could make it to his annual school competitions, doing her best to cheer louder, to compensate for the missing person in his life. he hadn’t given two shits when people in high school had stared and pointed at him like he had been an anomaly. not when his overbearing aunts had disguised their praises for him as something he should inherently be able to do to make up for the absence of the person in his life.
he hadn’t wasted time pondering upon silly questions like ‘was i not enough?’ or ‘was i not lovable enough for him to stay?’.
even in his young mind, those had seemed futile questions, ones he would never have an answer to and therefore, not worth his time.
but now, he was finding himself staring too long at the empty space you used to fill. he was realizing that, for someone who prided himself on understanding the fundamental laws of the universe, he had overlooked the most important one.
he had always thought that if he pushed something away, it would eventually return to its natural place. like gravity pulling a comet back into orbit.
but now, he wasn’t so sure.
now he was actually questioning things – emotions, feelings, hurt.
had he hurt you?
but why would he care? why would he start now? why would you care about him to the point that you would let his ineptitude hurt you?
jake didn’t consider himself the kind of person who fixated on things. he was methodical, pragmatic, someone who could compartmentalize problems into neat little boxes and only open them when absolutely necessary.
but this?
this was a crack in the foundation he hadn’t accounted for.
he told himself it was fine – your distance, your absence, the way you had begun to retreat from him in increments so small he might not have noticed if he weren’t already looking for them. he told himself he had wanted this, and that it didn’t matter.
and yet.
jake found himself watching. noticing. keeping track of the subtle ways you had begun to slip from his periphery, like sand through his fingers.
before, he had always known where you were. even if he wasn’t actively looking, you were just there, orbiting around him in a way that felt natural, unshakable. but now? now, he caught himself scanning the office for you, only to realize you were nowhere nearby. it wasn’t that you weren’t working – you were still efficient, still meticulous, still the perfect assistant – but you were no longer his constant.
the worst part? he had no idea why it bothered him so much.
he kept trying to rationalize it, to shove the thought into a mental folder labeled irrelevant and move on. but it was harder than he expected.
because there were moments, tiny and fleeting, where he thought he caught glimpses of something deeper beneath your polite professionalism. a hesitation before answering him. the way your lips pressed together just slightly when he handed you a stack of papers without so much as a please or thank you. the way you never quite met his eyes for too long anymore.
it had been a series of choices, he realized. small, inconsequential decisions that had snowballed into something much bigger than he had ever intended.
like the way he had dismissed you, snapping at you in a moment of frustration. he hadn’t thought twice about it then – just another conversation, another fleeting exchange in the middle of an exhausting day. but the weight of it lingered, heavy and suffocating, because now he could see the ripple effect in real time.
he had thought pushing you away would return things to normal. instead, it had left him standing in the ruins of something he hadn’t even realized was important to him.
and the most frustrating part? he didn’t know how to fix it.
jake wasn’t used to being at a loss. he had built his life around solutions, around having the answers before anyone even knew there was a problem. but this? this wasn’t a puzzle he could solve with logic or calculations. this was different. this was messy and human and something he didn’t even fully understand himself.
so he did what he always did when faced with something he couldn’t control – he observed.
he started paying closer attention. he told himself it wasn’t because of you, not really, just a vague curiosity that had no deeper meaning. but then he noticed how you laughed more with others now. how you lingered in conversations with coworkers, how your shoulders relaxed when you weren’t around him.
it was disorienting, realizing that you had found ways to exist outside of him. that you had always been capable of doing so, but he had just never seen it before.
and maybe that was what unsettled him the most.
one afternoon, he caught himself staring at the untouched coffee on his desk. it had gone cold. the same coffee you had placed there earlier, just slightly out of reach, like an afterthought.
jake had always taken for granted that it would be there. he had never even considered the effort behind it, the simple, thoughtless care that had gone into something as small as placing it within easy reach.
but now, staring at the lukewarm liquid, he felt something uncomfortable twist in his chest.
he didn’t like it.
he didn’t like how things felt off-kilter. how he had let something slip between his fingers without even realizing what it was. he didn’t like how aware he was of your absence now, how much space you had unknowingly occupied in his life before you started retreating.
it was frustrating, this gnawing feeling of wrongness.
so he did something stupid.
“hey,” he said one evening, catching you just as you were gathering your things to leave.
you blinked at him, clearly surprised. “yes?”
he hesitated for a fraction of a second. he hadn’t actually thought this far ahead.
“i—” he cleared his throat. “did you—uh. did you send the reports to finance?”
your brows furrowed slightly. “yes. i emailed them over earlier.”
“right. okay.” he shifted, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. “thanks.”
you nodded, waiting for a beat. when he didn’t say anything else, you adjusted your bag on your shoulder. “alright. goodnight, dr. sim.”
and then you were gone.
jake exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. what the fuck was that?
that wasn’t what he had meant to say. it wasn’t what he wanted to ask. but the words had lodged themselves in his throat, heavy and unfamiliar.
because what had he wanted to say?
had he wanted to tell you he noticed? that he missed something he couldn’t even name? that for someone who prided himself on understanding the fundamental laws of the universe, he had failed to account for the one thing he should have seen coming?
gravity.
every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
he had pushed you away. and now, he wasn’t sure how to pull you back in.
jake sat back in his chair, staring at the empty doorway where you had just been.
he needed to fix this. he needed to rise up from his inability to form human bonds or interact like a normal functioning adult. he had never felt the need to do so before, but for once – he wanted to. at least try and make amends.
because  jake never meant to offend anyone, much rather put them down. but he had done, willingly so this time around. but he wasn’t so broken as to not hold on to the semblance of a decent human being and not apologise.
he needed to fix this. he just didn’t know how yet.
ten.
its 10:09 am when the phone on your desk rings.
your fingers hesitate for a second before picking it up, already half-expecting it to be a mundane request from another department. but the voice on the other end is unfamiliar.
“hello, this is dr. sim’s office, correct?”
you straighten slightly at the mention of jake’s name. “yes, this is his assistant speaking. how can i help you?”
the woman on the other end exhales, relief threading through her voice. “oh, thank god. i’ve been trying to reach him, but he’s not answering his cell. can you please tell him his mother is calling? it’s urgent.”
your breath stills. his mother? you’ve never spoken to her before, but something about the way she sounds – strained, worried – has your heart clenching instinctively.
“of course, ma’am. please hold for a moment.”
you press the receiver against your chest as you rise from your desk, walking toward jake’s office with quick steps. when you push the door open, you find him at his desk, eyes glued to his monitor, expression unreadable.
“dr. sim,” you say carefully. he barely glances up. “your mother is on the line.”
that gets his attention.
his head snaps up so fast it looks like it might hurt, and the second he sees your expression – neutral but carefully watching – something in his own face shifts. a split-second crack in his usual control.
his mother wouldn’t call the office unless something was wrong.
you see it the moment his mind catches up to the implication. his face goes pale, and he pushes back his chair roughly, standing so fast it scrapes against the floor.
“transfer it,” he says, voice clipped, but his hands are already trembling as he reaches for the phone on his desk.
you nod and return to yours, quickly pressing the button to connect the call. as soon as it clicks over, you hear his voice – lower now, tight with something close to dread.
“mom?”
you should turn away. you should focus on your work, give him the privacy he needs. but something keeps your gaze locked on him, even as you try not to make it obvious.
there’s a pause. then, whatever his mother says has the color draining from his face entirely.
his fingers clench around the phone. his jaw sets tight, lips parting slightly like he wants to say something, but no words come out.
then, finally, he exhales.
“when?” his voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it, a sharpness that makes your stomach twist.
another pause. then he nods, even though she can’t see him. “okay. i’ll be there.”
he hangs up.
for a moment, he just stands there, fingers still curled around the receiver like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. his head is slightly bowed, his shoulders tense.
and then he turns.
his eyes meet yours. and for the first time in a long time, you see something raw and unguarded in them. not frustration. not cold professionalism. something else entirely.
something that makes you forget, for just a moment, that things have been different between you. that there’s been an invisible wall between the two of you, made of everything unspoken.
“is everything—” you catch yourself. it’s not your place to ask. but the words are already out there. “is everything alright?”
he swallows. a muscle in his jaw jumps. he looks like he wants to say no. but he doesn’t.
instead, he exhales slowly, like he’s trying to ground himself. “i need to leave for a bit.”
“of course.” you hesitate, but then add, “do you need me to reschedule anything?”
he nods once, curtly. “yes. i’ll send you a list.”
the phone call had been brief – too brief for how he looked now. his face was pale, fingers twitching slightly at his sides as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. the usual sharp focus in his eyes was gone, replaced with something unsettled, something raw.
you had barely heard what he’d said when he hung up. just a quiet, clipped response before he set the phone down with unnatural care, as if it might shatter in his hands. then silence. a long, heavy silence that made you shift in your seat.
he’s already reaching for his coat, but the way he moves – it’s not the usual controlled efficiency he carries himself with. his hands are stiff, his grip on the fabric just a little too tight. like he’s barely holding himself together.
“…dr. sim?”
jake didn’t respond.
you hesitated, glancing toward the doorway of his office. no one else was around – just the two of you in this unsettling quiet. you had been ready to move on, to keep things professional, to pretend you weren’t still hyper-aware of the strange coldness that had settled between you both. but this? this wasn’t something you could ignore.
you took a step forward. “jake.”
his head snapped up.
it took you off guard, the way his gaze sharpened at the sound of his name. but then, just as quickly, the tension in his shoulders collapsed. his expression flickered – like a fault line deep underground, cracking beneath pressure.
you tried again, softer this time. “what happened?”
jake inhaled, but the breath barely reached his lungs. “it’s my mom.”
your stomach twisted.
you had remembered jake’s phone call with her a few days ago. how he had sounded so agitated back then. jake never spoke much about his family, but you knew enough to understand that she was important to him in ways he didn’t know how to express. that, for all his cold rationality, all his carefully measured distance, she was a gravitational force in his life that he could never quite pull away from.
“what’s wrong?” you asked, your voice gentle.
jake didn’t answer right away. he looked at his hands – like he wasn’t sure when they had started shaking. when he finally spoke, his voice was low, nearly inaudible.
“she’s in the hospital.”
something in your chest tightened. “jake…”
he shook his head once, as if physically stopping himself from unraveling. “i—i need to go,” he said, already reaching for his coat, movements stiff. “i don’t—i can’t just sit here.”
“of course,” you said immediately. “do you want me to call someone? arrange a flight?”
“no,” he said, too quickly. he pressed his fingers to his temple, exhaling hard. “i’ll handle it.”
you watched him, watched the way he was barely keeping himself together. and despite everything, the growing distance, the unsaid things, you couldn’t just let him go like this.
“jake,” you said carefully, stepping closer. “let me help.”
for the first time in weeks, he met your gaze directly. and for the first time in weeks, you saw something unguarded in his eyes.
not calculation. not control.
just fear.
his throat bobbed. he looked like he wanted to say something – like he didn’t know how. but then his jaw clenched, and he nodded once, just slightly.
you reached for your phone. “i’ll book the next flight.”
jake exhaled slowly, as if grounding himself. he didn’t thank you – not verbally. but the way his shoulders loosened just slightly, the way his hands stopped trembling—
it was enough.
the drive to the airport was quiet.
jake was in the passenger seat, fingers curled into fists on his lap. he had barely spoken since leaving the office, only responding in brief nods or single words when necessary. the weight of the unknown pressed heavy between you both, thick like fog.
you had booked the first flight you could find, mere hours from the phone call and you had made sure he had gone back home immediately to pack his necessities. you knew you had a hard time coming with all the meetings and deadlines that needed to be pushed back, but that could wait. you had to make sure he was fine first.
you were in half a mind to offer to go along with him, but that would be crossing a line, right? afterall, you both were still at crossroads, still just assistant and employer. you couldn’t possibly even dare to suggest this in the first place.
when you pulled into the departure lane, you hesitated before reaching for his bag in the backseat. “are you sure you don’t want me to—”
“no,” jake said, shaking his head. his voice was hoarse. “you’ve done enough.”
you swallowed. he wasn’t saying it unkindly – just…tiredly. hollow in a way that didn’t suit him.
still, you lingered. you weren’t sure why. maybe it was because of the way he gripped the strap of his bag too tightly. maybe it was the way his breath came uneven, like he was bracing for something.
maybe it was because, for the first time, jake sim looked small.
he was out of his lab coat for the first time, a hastily found hoodie on his frame but his eyes. they looked so lost, so panicked and scared all at the same time, you couldn't even start to think what was going on in his mind. but you know for once that it hadn’t got anything to do with numbers and the universe.
you don’t know how to comfort him, not without knowing the situation and you definitely do not want to feed him empty reassurances. he would see right through them, the logical man that he was, he would probably even scoff at you for being presumptuous. so you do the best you can with the situation.
“i hope she’s okay,” you said quietly. “let me know when you land.”
he hesitated. then, finally, “yeah.”
“and don’t worry about work, i promise i’ll reschedule everything, take as much as you need.”
this, you mean too. because you will make sure of this, it’s the only thing you can do, to be quite honest. so you decide that you will, and you’ll give it your all.
you didn’t expect more. and yet, just as he was about to turn away, he stopped.
for a second, he looked like he might say something else. like he might let something slip through the cracks of whatever walls he had built between you both.
but then he just inhaled sharply and stepped away from the car, disappearing into the terminal without another word.
and you were left there, watching him go, wondering why it felt like something in you had gone with him.
eleven.
jake sat in his old car, the one his mom drove now. he had tried to convince her to buy a new one, but she insisted on using this beaten up junk he had used for most of his university life.
his day had been hectic, to say the least. he had touched down within two hours of leaving, all because you had managed to book him the earliest flight possible. his first stop had been the hospital where his mother had been admitted. she had fainted apparently, in the middle of a grocery store. someone had helped her and when she had come to, she had called jake immediately.
of course, as an understanding woman, she had hesitated before calling, but then she figured she’d be abandoning her son the way his father had, so without a second thought, she had called. she had buried the feeling that she was being a burden and explained to jake what had happened.
something very minor, a quick surgery would fix it, she’d be up and about in a week, but she would require someone by her side for that time.
jake talked to the doctors, a decision was made almost immediately, whatever his mother needed, he would do it. the surgery was in three days, she would not be in any major danger till then.
and then he had called you. well, he had called his front desk and asked to be transferred to you because he did not have your number.
“dr. sim?” your voice sounded distant and it only hurt a little that you didn’t call him by his first name like you had back then.
a long silence. then, his voice – low, rough, exhausted.
“she needs surgery.”
you had straightened in your chair. “surgery?”
“a minor procedure,” he clarified, though his voice sounded anything but reassured. “the doctors said she’ll be fine, but…”
he trailed off. you waited.
“but i don’t know if she wants me here.”
that was the part that made your stomach twist. not the surgery, not the hospital – those were tangible things, things jake could analyze and categorize, things with numbers and statistics and measurable risks. but this? the unspoken weight of old wounds, of things left unresolved between him and his mother?
this was something jake couldn’t quantify.
“dr. sim…” you started, hesitating. you weren’t sure if he wanted comfort, if he would even accept it. “i’m sure she’s glad you’re there.”
a dry, humorless chuckle crackled through the receiver. “i have been pushing her away for so long, i won’t blame her if she doesn't want me here.”
and he had done the same to you too. he had convinced himself that you did not need him or have any requirement of him in your life for it to function.
you closed your eyes. “have you talked to her?”
another pause. “not really.”
the admission had made something in your chest tighten.
“i don’t know what to say,” he muttered. “i don’t know if i should even be here.”
you exhaled slowly, gripping your phone tighter. “dr. sim, she called you.”
that made him pause.
“she called you,” you had repeated, softer this time. “if she didn’t want you there, she wouldn’t have.”
for a long time, there was nothing. just his breathing on the other end, slow and uneven. then, finally—
“maybe.”
it wasn’t certain, but it wasn’t dismissal either.
you had glanced down at your planner, at the list of tasks you still needed to get through before the day ended. none of them had seemed as important then.
“if you need anything,” you had said, voice steady, “just let me know.”
jake hadn’t responded right away. but when he finally did, it was quieter, softer than before.
“yeah,” he murmured. “thanks.”
and then the line went dead.
his hands rested now on the wheel, unmoving, but his mind was anything but still. he had been sitting there for ten minutes now, staring at the house in front of him, telling his mother to go on first, that he would follow soon after. it was the same house he had grown up in, the same porch light flickering against the damp evening air, the same worn-out welcome mat his mother refused to replace because she said it held memories.
memories.
jake hated memories.
but lately, they kept creeping in, unwelcome and persistent, just like the thoughts of you that he couldn’t seem to shake. he exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before finally stepping out of the car. the moment he knocked on the door, it swung open almost immediately.
“come on in, i was starting to think you’d spend the night in that old thing.” his mother’s voice was warm but held that gentle chiding tone only mothers could master. she must have been waiting.
“yeah,” jake muttered, stepping inside. “sorry.”
his mother gave him a knowing look but didn’t push. instead, she motioned for him to sit at the kitchen table. it was strange, being back home. the familiarity was both comforting and suffocating.
they ate in silence for a while, the only sounds coming from the occasional clink of cutlery against ceramic. his mother had made all his favorite dishes, even before she knew he was coming like it was something she did regardless of whether or not her son was in town, and he hated how easily that made his chest tighten.
“so,” she finally said, breaking the quiet. “how’s jay? sunghoon?”
jake nodded. “they’re good.”
his mother hummed, waiting. jake knew she wasn’t just asking about them.
“and you?” she prompted.
“i’m fine,” he answered automatically.
her eyes softened, but she didn’t call him out on the lie. instead, she reached for his empty plate and stood to rinse it. that was always how it was between them. no forced conversations, no prying. just patience. it used to drive him crazy.
“you don’t visit as much anymore,” she said casually, but jake could hear the weight in her voice.
jake leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temple. “i’ve been busy.”
“too busy for your mother?”
his throat felt tight. “that’s not—” he sighed. “i don’t know.”
she shut off the sink and turned to him, drying her hands on a dish towel. “you’ve been running, jake.”
the words struck deep, hitting something raw inside him. he opened his mouth to deny it, but what was the point? she saw through him, as she always had.
“ever since your father left,” she continued, voice gentle but firm, “you’ve been running from anything that makes you feel too much. you push people away before they can leave you first.”
jake clenched his jaw. “that’s not true.”
her expression didn’t change. “isn’t it?”
he wanted to argue, but flashes of his past screamed otherwise. his father’s car pulling out of the driveway, his mother’s silent tears in the kitchen, the way he had stopped asking when his father would come back. how he had pulled away – from her, from the warmth she tried so hard to keep alive in their home. because what was the point? if his own father could leave so easily, then wasn’t everything temporary?
his mother sighed, walking over to sit beside him. “i don’t bring this up to hurt you, sweetheart. but i see the way you hold yourself back. you’ve always done that, even when you were a boy. you care, but you don’t let yourself feel it too deeply.”
jake exhaled sharply, his fingers tightening around the edge of the kitchen table. the weight of his mother’s words settled heavily in his chest, pressing against old wounds he’d buried for too long.
“maybe,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
his mother didn’t gloat, didn’t press. she only gave him that quiet, patient look that somehow made him feel both seen and uncomfortably exposed. it was always like this with her – gentle in the ways that hurt the most.
“i know why you’ve been distant,” she said softly, moving back to the table. “and i know it’s not just about me.”
jake stilled. he knew what was coming next. he could feel it in the way his mother studied him, in the way her eyes carried an understanding he wasn’t ready to face.
“you always bottle things up,” she continued, her voice steady. “you don’t let yourself get attached. you let people slip away before they even have the chance to stay.” she paused, letting her words settle.
then— “but there’s someone you don’t want to let go of, isn’t there?”
jake’s breath hitched. his immediate instinct was to deny it, to shut down the conversation before it could go any further. but the words refused to form.
because she was right.
because for the first time in years, there was someone – someone who had slipped into his life so effortlessly, so quietly, that he hadn’t noticed until the absence of their presence started to eat away at him. someone whose voice still echoed in his head, whose absence left a hollowness he couldn’t explain away.
you.
his mother didn’t push. she just waited, as she always had, offering a space that was safe even when it didn’t feel like it. and maybe it was the exhaustion from the past few days, or maybe it was the fact that, for once, he didn’t want to run from this conversation.
jake exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
his mother simply hummed, waiting.
“i’m… off,” he admitted, hesitating. “lately, everything feels – wrong. like i’m forgetting something important, like i’m missing something. but i don’t know what to do about it.”
his mother tilted her head slightly. “and does this have something to do with the person you called earlier?”
jake’s fingers twitched against the table. “i didn’t call her directly,” he muttered, because even now, he wasn’t sure if he could handle what saying your name out loud would do to him. “i had to go through the front desk to reach her.”
his mother smiled knowingly. “that’s not the point, sweetheart.”
jake swallowed. he knew. he knew exactly what she was getting at.
“it’s just… she’s just been there,” he found himself saying, his voice hesitant. “always so put together, always knowing exactly what i need before i even have to ask. it’s like she—” he stopped himself before he could say too much, but his mother was already watching him with an expression that told him she understood more than he wanted her to.
“she takes care of you.”
jake’s jaw clenched. “yeah.”
“and you don’t know what to do with that.”
his laugh was hollow, humorless. “i don’t think i deserve it.”
his mother sighed, her eyes soft. “jake.”
he shook his head, leaning back against the chair. “i hurt her.”
the words felt heavier than he expected. saying them out loud made them real, made them impossible to ignore.
his mother didn’t look surprised. “how?”
jake hesitated. he wasn’t sure where to begin. it wasn’t just one thing – it was everything. the way he’d dismissed you, the way he’d taken you for granted, the way he’d let you become part of his routine without ever stopping to consider what that meant.
“i pushed her away,” he admitted, his voice tight. “i didn’t even realize i was doing it until it was too late. and now…”
his mother’s gaze was patient, understanding. “and now?”
jake exhaled slowly. “now, i feel like i’m losing my mind.”
his mother’s lips curled into a small, knowing smile. “because change terrifies you. and she’s become part of your life in a way you never expected.”
jake stared at the table, his thoughts a tangled mess. “i don’t even know when it happened,” he murmured. “i just… one day, she was there. and now, when she’s not – it feels wrong.”
his mother reached across the table, placing a gentle hand over his. “that sounds a lot like caring, jake.”
he let out a slow, shaky breath. “maybe.”
his mother squeezed his hand. “sweetheart, i’ve watched you close yourself off for so long. and i know you think it’s safer that way. but it’s okay to let people in. it’s okay to care.”
jake closed his eyes. he wanted to believe that. he really did.
“i don’t know how to fix this.”
his mother’s smile was sad but encouraging. “then start by not running away.”
jake swallowed hard, her words settling deep inside him. for the first time in a long while, he felt like maybe – just maybe – he didn’t want to run anymore.
jake’s fingers curled against the table. “i don’t know how i feel about this.”
his mother reached out, resting a hand over his. “that’s okay. but don’t let your fear stop you from figuring it out.”
jake didn’t respond. he didn’t know how.
his mother sighed, squeezing his hand once before letting go. “just don’t push her away, jake. don’t make the same mistake your father did.”
the words hit harder than he expected. he wasn’t like his father. he refused to be. but deep down, he knew – he had spent so much time trying to avoid being hurt that he had been the one keeping others at arm’s length.
maybe that needed to change.
later that night, as he lay in his childhood bedroom staring at the ceiling, his thoughts kept drifting back to you. the way you carried yourself, the way you fought for your place, the way you—
the way you made him feel.
jake turned onto his side, exhaling heavily. maybe it was time to stop running. maybe, for once, he needed to stay.
twelve.
you sat at your desk, staring at the chaotic schedule in front of you. jake had only been gone a few days, but it felt like an entire month’s worth of work had piled up. between rescheduling meetings, handling review dates, and ensuring the interns didn’t completely destroy the office system, your plate was overflowing. but that was your job. and you were good at it.
jake’s absence, however, made things feel heavier.
you had never been more aware of how much of your day revolved around him until he wasn’t here. normally, he’d be in his office, shooting you the occasional exasperated look over paperwork, or stepping out to ask for another coffee despite already having two. you had gotten used to the rhythm of his presence, the way it filled spaces without needing to demand attention.
now, that presence was gone, and you were left to make sure everything didn’t completely fall apart before he returned.
you let out a sigh, rubbing your temples before picking up your phone. another call, another problem to solve.
by the time jake’s return was only a few days away, you were running on caffeine and sheer determination. you had managed to keep everything under control, but it had taken everything out of you. your mind barely had space to wander – except for the brief moments when you remembered your last conversation with jake. the way his voice had sounded so lost, the hesitation behind his words.
but you couldn’t dwell on that. he wasn’t here. and when he came back, things would fall back into place.
a knock on your office door snapped you from your thoughts. you looked up to see one of your colleagues peeking in.
“hey, dr. sim called. he asked for you specifically.”
you blinked. “me?”
“yeah. said he wanted to check in.”
you hesitated for a moment before grabbing the office phone and dialing the number.
it barely rang once before he picked up. “y/n.”
his voice was different. not as tired as before, but still carrying something heavy. you straightened in your chair. “dr. sim. you called?”
a pause. then, “yeah. i just… wanted to check in. how’s everything?”
you glanced at the never-ending list on your screen. “under control.”
jake let out a small huff, almost like a laugh. “of course it is.”
silence stretched between you, and for a moment, you weren’t sure what else to say. but then his voice softened. “thank you. for everything. i know it’s been a lot.”
you smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “that’s my job, dr. sim.”
jake inhaled sharply, like the words had physically hurt him.
your job.
like this was just a role, a duty to fulfill. like you were only here because of professional obligation, not because you had ever cared beyond that.
and maybe that was the worst part – knowing that at some point, you had cared. that at some point, he had meant more to you. but now, all that remained was distance, formality.
“right,” he said after a moment, his voice unreadable. “i’ll be back soon.”
“of course. safe travels.”
the call ended before either of you could say more, but the weight of it lingered. you sat there for a long time, staring at your desk, trying to push away the uneasy feeling settling in your chest.
meanwhile, on the other end of the line, jake sat in his childhood home, gripping his phone tighter than necessary. for the first time in a long time, he felt like he had lost something important.
and he had no idea how to get it back.
jay keeps him updated, the way you’re single handedly managing his schedule, making sure kang doesn’t fire his ass straight up (not that he would, jake’s too much of a genius for that to happen). but more than that, jay spoke of the way you kept things running, how you barely took a break, how you worked yourself to exhaustion, making sure everything was still intact for when jake returned.
jake listened in silence, the pit in his stomach growing heavier with each passing word. you had always been efficient, always been reliable. but there was something about the way jay talked about you now – how you were overextending yourself, how you hardly left your desk unless necessary – that made him uneasy.
by the time he finally stepped back into the office, the weight of unfinished conversations, of unspoken words, was pressing heavily on his shoulders. his absence had given him clarity, but clarity didn’t mean anything if he didn’t act on it.
when jake does come back, it’s a surprise to you too. he hadn’t called in advance, hadn’t mentioned anything, hadn’t even asked you to book a flight. just shown up to work on a thursday like he hadn’t been on a leave the past week.
it surprised you, you thought you were hallucinating.
jake was the same, yet different. he was still dressed impeccably, his dark suit fitted just right, his tie slightly loosened as if he had already had a long morning. but his eyes – those damn eyes – were sharp when they landed on you, scanning you like he was seeing you for the first time in months, not weeks.
“morning.” his voice was smooth, composed. if he was affected by anything, he didn’t let it show.
you forced herself to breathe. “morning.”
a pause later, you added, “how’s your mom?”
jake smiles, faintly. he looks tired, but also like he was well rested. like the week away from his office had given him the rest he had deserved.
“she’s fine,” he says, and you realise you had missed the warmth of his voice, “she’s recovering pretty fast.”
you nod, thankful that things were alright. you want to say something more, ask him how he was doing, ask him ask him if he’s really okay.
the words sit on your tongue, hesitant, unwilling to be spoken. you don't know if you have the right to ask anymore.
jake, for his part, watches you like he’s waiting for something. like he’s expecting you to say more, but when you don’t, he only nods. there’s something restrained in his expression, something that makes you feel like there’s more he wants to say too – but neither of you does.
instead, the moment passes.
“i should—” you gesture vaguely to your desk, to the endless tasks that had piled up in his absence. “i didn’t know you were coming back today, if you want , i can set your schedule up today. maybe a meeting in an hour with director kang, if you’re up for it, and then a review session with the legal team later in the afternoon. i can send the details to your email.”
jake exhales, eyes flickering to his office door. you’re rambling and he finds it amusing. or endearing. the thought of the latter feeling makes him tighten his hold over his bag, but he doesn’t look away, just nods along to whatever you say.
afterall, you know what’s best.
“right. i’ll look through it.”
you nod once, curt, and then turn back to your screen, as if that conversation hadn’t just been something fragile, something that could’ve cracked open if you had let it. you think that’s the end of it. that he’ll walk away, go back to his office, and things will return to the way they were.
but jake doesn’t move.
he lingers.
and then, in a voice softer than before, he says, “thank you, y/n.”
your fingers pause over your keyboard.
it’s not the words themselves that make your breath hitch – it’s the way he says them. the way they aren’t just polite acknowledgments, aren’t just an empty phrase meant to brush past the weight of everything left unsaid. no, this is different.
this is him meaning it.
this is gratitude in its truest form, held in his voice like it’s something delicate.
you inhale slowly, schooling your expression before you look up at him again. “of course,” you reply, but the words feel distant, like they don’t quite match the way your heart stumbles against your ribs.
jake’s lips press together, as if he wants to say something more. but then jay appears, calling out to him from the other side of the office, and the moment snaps in half.
just like that, he’s gone.
for most part of the day though, jake is drowning in work.
it had been that way since he got back – nonstop reviews, overflowing emails, projects that had stalled in his absence. the moment he stepped into the office, he had been pulled in every direction, barely given room to breathe. and he let it happen. work was easier to focus on. it was something he could control.
but every now and then, between the numbers and the reports, he felt it – the weight of your presence just beyond his reach.
you were there. moving around the office, talking to coworkers, slipping in and out of the conference room with files in hand. he caught glimpses of you in passing, his eyes drawn to you more times than he could count. you weren’t avoiding him anymore, not like before, but the distance was still there – an unspoken, lingering thing between you both.
he wanted to talk to you. he really did. but every time he so much as turned in your direction, something else demanded his attention – a call, an urgent email, a meeting running longer than expected. so he buried himself in work, knowing that if he just got through all of it, if he could just clear his plate, then maybe he could finally sit down with you. no interruptions. no distractions. just you and him.
but the day passed, and the timing was never right. not until lunch.
he didn’t notice at first – too caught up in his screen, typing away furiously. but when he finally leaned back to stretch, his eyes landed on your figure, knuckles raised against his door as if you were just about to knock.
your eyes widen as if you had been caught doing something scandalous, but you school your expression, clearing your throat hastily.
“you should eat,” you said, voice careful. “it’s been a long day, and it's only going to get busier later. dr. lee called for an impromptu review at four pm.”
you sound apologetic, almost as if you’re the one who put him through this predicament, especially after his first day back.
for a second, he just stared at you. it had been so long since you had done something like this for him. since you had even looked at him like this – cautious, hesitant, but still caring. and for the first time in what felt like forever, the words weren’t automatic, weren’t distant.
jake exhales, pushing away from his desk. his shoulders ache, his mind heavy from the sheer amount of work waiting for him, but for the first time today, his focus shifts entirely – to you.
you’re still standing there, waiting for his response.
his gaze flickers over your expression, taking in the way you hover, like you’re unsure if you should even be here. like you’re debating whether you should have said anything at all.
and suddenly, he doesn’t want you to leave just yet.
jake clears his throat, shifting in his seat. “have you eaten?”
you blink, clearly thrown off.
“uh,” you hesitate. “no, not yet.”
jake nods once, contemplative. then, without overthinking it, he pushes back his chair, standing to grab his coat.
“let’s go, then.”
your brain stutters. “go where?”
“lunch.” he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. like it’s not entirely unprecedented and completely out of character for him to suggest something like this.
you stare at him, almost suspicious. “like, together?”
a corner of his mouth twitches, though he quickly tamps it down. “yes, y/n. together.”
you should say no. you should.
because this? this is dangerous territory. jake doesn’t ask you to lunch. he doesn’t ask you for anything, really – at least, nothing that doesn’t pertain to work.
but then he tilts his head ever so slightly, waiting. and maybe it’s the exhaustion talking, maybe it’s the way your stomach actually growls at the worst possible moment, or maybe it’s just that he’s looking at you like that.
like he’s trying.
“…okay,” you say before you can stop yourself.
jake nods, satisfied, before leading the way out of his office.
thirteen.
the café jake picked was a little ways away from the office, tucked into a quieter street lined with small shops. it wasn’t anything extravagant – just a cozy place with warm lighting and a surprisingly extensive menu. you weren’t sure what you expected, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“you come here often?” you asked as you both settled into a table near the window.
jake hummed, glancing over the menu. “not really. but i figured somewhere away from the office would be better.”
you blinked, caught off guard by his thoughtfulness. “oh.”
he didn’t elaborate, just focused on the menu like this was something normal. like he hadn’t just, for the first time in forever, actively chosen to spend time with you outside of work.
the waitress arrived, and after a quick back-and-forth (in which jake somehow convinced you to order something other than your usual go-to sandwich), you were left with nothing but your drinks and the thick air of unspoken words.
“so,” you started, wrapping your hands around your cup. “how’s your mom doing?”
jake leaned back slightly, fingers tapping idly against the table. “better. still recovering, but she’s been more energetic these past few days.”
“that’s good to hear.”
“she actually told me to stop hovering over her,” he added, lips twitching in amusement. “said i was more of a nuisance than a help.”
you let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “i can imagine. you don’t seem like the type to sit still when you’re worried.”
jake’s brows lifted slightly, but he didn’t deny it. “you’re not wrong.”
there was a beat of silence, comfortable this time. jake studied you for a moment before tilting his head slightly. “what about you?”
you frowned. “what about me?”
he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “how have you been? you’ve basically been running the office while i was gone.”
“it’s nothing i couldn’t handle,” you said, brushing it off.
jake wasn’t convinced. “jay made it sound like you barely had time to breathe.”
you huffed, shaking your head. “jay exaggerates.”
“does he?”
you hesitated. “okay, maybe a little. but it’s my job. it’s what i do.”
something flickered in his expression, but before you could dissect it, he changed the subject. “what do you do after work?”
you blinked. “huh?”
“when you’re not running the office or making sure i don’t completely destroy my schedule—what do you do?”
you narrowed your eyes, suspicious. “why do you want to know?”
jake smirked slightly, but there was a sincerity behind it. “just curious.”
you hesitated for a moment before sighing. “not much, honestly. i usually just go home, maybe read a little. sometimes i go out with friends, but it depends on the day.”
jake hummed, nodding. “sounds… peaceful.”
“sometimes.” you tilted your head. “what about you? when you’re not buried in research papers or ignoring kang’s calls?”
jake exhaled a laugh. “ignoring kang is a full-time job in itself.”
you snorted, shaking your head. but you’re also slightly malfunctioning. never in a million years would you have even imagined that you’d be sitting across jake sim, making small talk. is this a dream?
“but,” he continued, “i guess i read, too. or watch documentaries. i used to play soccer more, but it’s been a while.”
your brows lifted slightly. “soccer? really?”
jake smirked. “what, don’t believe me?”
this side of him is new. the smirk, the unguarded laughs, the way he sometimes bites his lips. you will yourself to stay calm, clench your fingers in your lap and exhale slowly.
you shrugged. “i just can’t picture you running around on a field when you’re usually glued to your computer.”
“i contain multitudes,” he said, mock-offended.
you rolled your eyes, but the smile lingered.
then, seemingly out of nowhere, he asked, “so, are you seeing anyone?”
your entire brain short-circuited.
“wh—what?”
jake leaned back, utterly unbothered. “you know. dating. boyfriend, girlfriend, situationship. whatever people call it these days.”
you stared at him. “why do you want to know?”
he shrugged, playing it cool. “just making conversation.”
your eyes narrowed slightly, but you answered anyway. “no. not at the moment.”
jake nodded slowly, almost like he was committing that information to memory.
you crossed your arms. “and you?”
his expression didn’t change. “no.”
“not even someone waiting for you to finally look up from your research and realize they exist?”
jake exhaled a laugh, shaking his head. “not that i know of.”
you hummed, unconvinced, but let it go.
for a moment, the conversation lulled, and then you found yourself blurting, “why did you choose astrophysics?”
jake glanced up, slightly surprised by the question. but after a beat, his lips curled up faintly. “you really want to know?”
you shrugged. “i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t.”
he leaned forward slightly, his voice taking on that familiar, passionate undertone he always had when he spoke about his field. “i guess it started when i was a kid. i always liked figuring things out, but space… space is different. it’s infinite, unpredictable. the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know.”
you watched him, absorbed by the way his eyes lit up as he spoke.
“it’s terrifying,” he admitted, a small grin playing on his lips. “but it’s also incredible. there are entire galaxies out there, black holes that warp time, planets that could be habitable. the laws of physics as we know them could be completely different somewhere else.”
you smiled slightly, resting your chin on your hand. “you sound like you’re in love with it.”
jake blinked at you, momentarily thrown off.
then, he huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “maybe i am.”
and for some reason, something about that made your chest feel oddly tight.
the food arrived then, breaking the moment. but as you both ate, the conversation continued – easier now, lighter. and you didn’t miss the way jake kept looking at you, like he was memorizing this, like he was finally realizing that outside of the office, outside of schedules and meetings and deadlines, there was you.
and maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to miss out on that anymore.
jake walks beside you as you both make your way back to the office, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his coat. the lunch had been... nice. unexpected, but nice. and now, as the two of you walk in comfortable silence, he seems more at ease than you’ve seen him in a long time.
then, without warning, he speaks.
"did you know that if you fell into a black hole, time would slow down for you compared to someone watching from the outside?" his voice is contemplative, as if he’s only now realizing he said it out loud.
you blink, caught off guard. "um. no?"
jake nods, as if he expected that. "yeah. it’s called time dilation. the closer you get to the event horizon – the point of no return – the slower time moves for you, relative to everyone else. so technically, if you could somehow escape, you’d find that far more time had passed for the rest of the universe than for you."
you process his words, lips twitching. "so what you're saying is... if i ever want to time travel, i should just jump into a black hole?"
jake huffs out a laugh. "not unless you want to be spaghettified."
you stop mid-step. "spaghettified?"
he turns his head, eyes glinting with amusement. "yeah. because of the intense gravitational pull, your body would stretch into thin strands, like spaghetti. it’s called ‘spaghettification.’"
you let out a short laugh, shaking your head. "you’re messing with me."
"i swear i’m not." he grins, and for a moment, you see a different version of him – one without the weight of responsibilities or expectations pressing down on him. "the gravitational pull at your feet would be much stronger than at your head, so you’d get stretched out like a noodle before—" he snaps his fingers. "—being ripped apart."
you stare at him, utterly baffled. "what a horrifying way to go."
"oh, absolutely," he says, like it's the most natural thing in the world. "but theoretically, if the black hole was big enough, you might not even notice you’d crossed the event horizon. you’d just... fall. forever."
you don’t know what’s funnier – the fact that he’s so nonchalant about it, or the fact that he’s clearly enjoying this little tangent.
"so, the moral of the story," you say, crossing your arms, "avoid black holes."
jake chuckles, the sound low and genuine. "exactly."
for a moment, the two of you just walk, and you realize something – you actually like listening to him talk about this. there’s something comforting about the way he explains things, the way he gets lost in his own thoughts, his usual guardedness slipping away as he speaks about something he genuinely loves.
you glance at him, curious. you suddenly wonder about the jake sim you don’t know about. the one who apparently plays soccer and reads for leisure at home. what does he read? books on astrophysics? does he read fiction? does he have a favourite soccer team? does he still watch matches?
the more you imagine, the more you want to know.
who is jake sim outside of the brilliant astrophysicist you’re an assistant to?
but you don’t have to wonder too long. you’re already at the office doors and jake pushes them open first, holding them so you can step inside before him.
and that’s when jay sees you.
he’s standing near the entrance of the cafeteria, cup of coffee in hand, and the moment he spots the two of you stepping in together, his brows shoot up to his hairline. his eyes flicker between you and jake, and then – because he’s jay – his lips curl into a knowing smirk.
"well, well," he drawls, taking a slow sip of his coffee. "look who decided to have a little lunch date."
you freeze. "it wasn’t a—"
jake, to your surprise, doesn’t even flinch. he merely tugs off his coat, shrugging. "we were hungry."
jay’s smirk deepens. "uh-huh. sure."
you roll your eyes and push past him, but not before catching the way jay mouths "okay, i see y’all" at you behind jake’s back.
you ignore him.
you ignore the warmth in your chest too. however, if you know jay, you’d know that he’s anything but dismissive. that’s how you find yourself cornered in the printer room not even twenty minutes later.
jake had barely settled back into his office when you made your way to the printer room, hoping to grab some reports before his next meeting. it was supposed to be a quick trip – get in, get out, avoid any unnecessary interactions. but, of course, jay had other plans.
you didn’t even hear him coming.
“so.”
you nearly jumped out of your skin. “jesus—”
jay leaned against the printer, arms crossed, watching you with an all-too-knowing look.
you should’ve known. the moment you and jake had stepped into the office together, jay had been watching. his eyes had flickered between the two of you, brows raised ever so slightly, but he hadn’t said anything much at the time. which, in retrospect, had been a warning in itself.
and now, here he was, looking way too entertained for your liking.
“what do you want?” you asked, feigning nonchalance as you grabbed the stack of papers.
jay grinned. “oh, i don’t know. just wondering how your little lunch date went.”
you almost dropped the reports. “it wasn’t a date.”
“sure,” he nodded sagely. “just two colleagues, having lunch together, alone, outside the office, for the first time ever.”
you exhaled sharply, fixing him with a look. “he asked. i said yes. that’s it.”
jay hummed, unconvinced. “and what did you two talk about?”
“nothing special.”
“uh-huh. so, just to be clear,” jay continued, tilting his head, “jake sim—our very own resident workaholic, who has never once asked you out to lunch—randomly decides to do so today, and you think that means nothing?”
you shifted, feeling cornered. “jay—”
“because, and hear me out,” he interrupted, grinning wider, “it kinda seems like he’s making an effort.”
you blinked, lips parting slightly, but no words came out.
jay watched as realization flickered across your face, the way your fingers tightened around the papers in your grasp. and then he smirked, patting your shoulder before sauntering off, leaving you standing there, replaying the conversation in your head.
making an effort.
no. no way.
…right?
fourteen.
it started, as most things did between you and jake, with work.
you had long since grown used to your role as his assistant, leaving meticulous reminders on his desk so that he wouldn’t conveniently forget to review reports or attend meetings. it was a well-oiled system by now. you left him a note, he (sometimes) actually followed through, and the world kept spinning.
but now there was a comfortable dynamic starting to form between you two.
now jake would stop by your desk for a whole minute, greeting you warmly and in fact, he had started receiving his coffee from you at your desk itself.
there was always a polite but warm ‘good morning’ and ‘thanks for the coffee’ greeting you. and you liked it. you liked that jake would mirror your smile. the first time he had smiled at you – like, openly grinned, with his eyes crinkling – you had been blindsighted. you were probably too shocked to even return the gesture, sitting still for a whole minute, imprinting and memorizing the sight you had just been graced with in your memory.
turns out, you didn’t have to memorise it, because you were suddenly a regular recipient of it. every damn morning. well, it certainly was one reason to start looking forward to your mondays.
this was still jake, he was still the same old sleeves rolled up deep in calculations person inside his office. but when he passed by you? or when you entered his office? a permanent grin etched on his face. those eyes that had been focused on some report? positively sparkling behind his thick rimmed glasses.
he was suddenly starting to resemble a puppy in you reyes and the more you sneaked glances at him, the more you were concerned of this comparison.
so when you left a neatly written sticky note on his desk one evening—"reminder: review kang’s quarterly report before 10 am meeting tomorrow."— you thought nothing of it.
the next morning, you arrived to find the note on your desk. only, something had been added beneath your writing, in jake’s neat, slanted script:
"did you know that the universe is expanding at an accelerating rate? just like kang’s expectations."
you blinked. then blinked again. what the hell?
you turned your head toward his office, where the glass door remained shut, jake nowhere in sight. he had to have done this late last night. and he hadn’t even addressed your reminder – just hit you with a completely random space fact.
you thought it was a one time thing. maybe he saw the post notes on your desk and decided to leave one for the fun of it?
the next evening, after finishing up your reports, you left another note on his desk: "don’t forget to go through the intern evaluations before friday."
when you returned the next morning, there was another addition:
"forwarded you the evals.” below it, in his slightly scratchy handwriting was an addition: “incidentally, did you know that time moves slower in stronger gravitational fields? maybe that’s why this week feels endless."
you covered your mouth, suppressing a laugh. this man.
and just like that, it became a thing.
it started slow, with simple reminders laced with cosmic facts, but then it evolved. jake’s responses became more elaborate, slipping in more than just dry science.
one day, you left: "you need to approve the lab’s funding proposal by end of day. no exceptions!"
by the next morning, jake’s response was waiting for you: "did you know that some stars shine brighter when they have a companion? also, the proposal is on your desk, don’t nag."
your heart stuttered for an entirely different reason that day.
but jake never acknowledged it out loud. when you interacted in person, he was the same – calm, composed, occasionally brooding but never ignoring your reminders anymore. yet, on paper, in these little sticky notes, something else simmered beneath his usual cool demeanor.
it was a language only the two of you seemed to understand.
the next time you found a note, you stared at it a little longer than usual before pressing your lips together to suppress a smile.
"scientists believe there’s a ninth planet in our solar system, but we haven’t been able to find it yet. kind of like how i never see you taking breaks. go home on time for once."
like he’s one to speak, pulling long hours on days you leave on time anyway. regardless, you read it three times, warmth unfurling in your chest before tucking the note away in your drawer – right next to all the others you had kept. because you were keeping them now.
even if he didn’t catch you in the act of placing them carefully in one of your drawers, you had a feeling jake knew.
sometimes he was straight up funny, or so you thought. it was a side that you could usually only see through these notes because jake sim in person? he never said stuff like this.
once you reminded him of  a deadline: “the research proposal deadline is on friday. let me know if you need anything."
he replied: "there’s a giant storm on jupiter that has been raging for over 300 years. that’s still shorter than some of the meetings we sit through."
you had laughed. you had tried to be discreet about it but you couldn’t help the chuckle that had tumbled out and jake had caught you in that moment.
it was unfair, really. how easily he managed to make you smile. how effortlessly he turned something as mundane as sticky notes into something… else.
your cheeks had warmed up and very sheepishly, you looked away. but you missed the way jake had smiled to himself, pushing his glasses up and scratching his ears. cute, he had thought.
and proceeded to malfunction the rest of the day.
and of course jay noticed. of course he had something to say.
he started with jake first, because believe it or not, his friend was an absolute loser.
jay had been watching jake all morning. well, technically, he’d been watching jake for weeks now, but today was different.
jake was fidgeting.
now, jake sim did not fidget. he was the type of guy who could stare at a complex data set for hours without breaking concentration, but today? today, his pen was twirling between his fingers with a sort of nervous energy, his glasses had been pushed up his nose at least five times in the last two minutes, and most damning of all, he kept sneaking glances at your desk.
jay smirked, leaning back in his chair, watching the way jake’s ears tinged pink every time you so much as moved.
“oh, this is so good,” he muttered to himself.
jake ignored him, as he usually did. but jay knew the truth.
he wasn’t the only one who had noticed the sticky note exchanges. it had started small, easy to brush off as just another one of jake’s quirks, but then jay had seen you laughing at a note one morning, your eyes lingering a little too long on the writing before tucking it away. tucking it away. as in, keeping it.
jay, of course, had confronted jake immediately.
“you like her,” he’d accused one evening as they left the office.
jake had barely given him a glance. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“oh, come on, dude. you’re writing her space facts like it’s some secret code for flirting.”
jake had hesitated then, the barest of pauses in his step before he scoffed. “it’s not flirting. it’s just… facts.”
jay had groaned. “you absolute loser.”
the worst part is, jay actually reads one of those notes. 
you don’t even notice. he was leaning against your desk, waiting for you to find him one of those empty files you usually kept handy when he saw it. the yellow paper peeking out from under your keyboard.
you hear him scoff.
you turn just in time to see him pluck the sticky note off your desk, holding it between two fingers like it’s the most scandalous piece of evidence he’s ever seen.
“really?” he deadpans, reading the words aloud. “fact: the andromeda galaxy is on a collision course with the milky way. kind of like how you’re on a collision course with burnout if you keep staying past office hours. go home, y/n. – jake’”
he blinks. then looks at you. long. hard. smug.
you snatch the note back. “mind your business.”
“oh, no, no,” jay grins, crossing his arms. “this is my business. because you–” he points at you, then at your drawer, which probably has a whole stash of jake’s little science notes, “are clearly stockpiling these. and he” —cue the dramatic hand gesture in the direction of jake’s office— “is clearly trying to rizz you up with astrophysics.”
your soul leaves your body. “he is not!”
jay just laughs. “oh, honey. he is. and the fact that you’re keeping them? you’re down bad.”
you groan, pressing a hand to your forehead. “please shut up.”
“but like—are you guys flirting through the cosmos?” he’s grinning so hard, it’s physically painful to witness. “is this—interstellar rizz?”
“jay…”
“a universal love story?”
“jay.”
“gravitational attraction?”
“oh my god!”
fifteen.
it's been a whole entire month now. an entire month from the day you had been venting to jay about how you were just a paperclip to jake. a whole month since you quietly but seamlessly made your presence known in jake’s daily routine.
funny, how things change.
jake’s never been good with change though. 
it unsettles him – the way you’ve become this constant, the way he’s started to notice you in ways he never used to. at first, it was just small things. the way you always showed up in the lab before him, already setting up for the day. how you somehow remembered his preferred coffee order better than he did. the way your presence always lingered in the room, even when you weren’t speaking.
but then, those small things started becoming something more.
like how he started looking for you before even realizing he was doing it. how your voice, your laughter – hell, even the way you sighed when you were frustrated – started threading itself into the fabric of his days.
and the worst part? he let it happen.
jake liked routines, formulas, things that followed a set pattern. he liked knowing what to expect. but you? you were anything but predictable. and yet, somehow, you were still there, right in the middle of everything, shifting the entire equation of his life without permission.
how your presence had become something…expected.
jake didn’t like expecting things. expectations led to disappointments. people left, and routines shattered. he had learned that early on, and he had learned it well.
jake hadn’t meant to think of you. really.
he had been sitting at his desk, staring at the notes sprawled out before him, running calculations and double-checking measurements for the upcoming visit to the observatory. it was standard procedure – his advisor had asked him to review the telescope’s latest readings, compare them with the simulations, and ensure everything was in order before they proceeded with the next phase of their research. it was work he could do on autopilot, something he’d done dozens of times before.
and yet, he found himself pausing.
because for the first time in a long time, he didn’t want to go alone.
it wasn’t unusual for jake to make solo visits to the observatory – he actually preferred it that way. it was quiet, isolated, just him and the endless expanse of the universe stretched out before him. no distractions, no expectations. just the comfort of knowing that the stars above would always remain as they were – constant, unmoving, predictable.
but ever since you had slipped into his life, disrupting the structure he had so carefully built, everything felt different.
the observatory had always been his space. a place where he could think, where the world made sense. it was the last place he should be considering bringing someone else. and yet, the idea had wormed its way into his head and refused to leave.
he frowned, tapping his pen against the desk.
why did he want you there?
it wasn’t logical. you weren’t a physicist. you had nothing to gain from being in the observatory, nothing to contribute to the calculations or the data collection. the rational part of his mind told him there was no reason to invite you.
still, he found himself gripping his pen a little tighter, watching you from the corner of his eye as he wondered what you would say if he asked. but technically, he could use an extra pair of hands. he needed to cross check some numbers anyway, maybe you would be willing to help?
or is he rationalises his thoughts and actions as he finally makes his way over to you. it seemed, lately he had been doing a lot of that – seeking you out at your desk. 
“are you busy this evening?”
you looked up from your notes, brow arching slightly. “depends. are you about to ask me to do something tedious?”
jake scoffed lightly. “define tedious.”
you narrowed your eyes. “dr.  sim, you’re asking me to stay back after work. that email disaster was a one-time thing, but if you’re going to make me stay late to organize more files or proofread another hundred pages of data sheets, i will be charging overtime.”
jake huffed out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “it’s not that.”
you tilted your head, waiting for him to continue.
he shifted his weight slightly, gripping the edge of your desk like he needed something solid to keep himself grounded. “i need to check something at the observatory tonight. cross-check some numbers, recalibrate a few things.” a pause. “figured an extra pair of hands wouldn’t hurt.”
you blinked. “and i’m the extra pair of hands?”
jake nodded. “yeah.”
you stared at him for a long moment, trying to decipher his expression. you weren’t exactly well-versed in astrophysics, and you were pretty sure there wasn’t much you could actually do to help. but jake wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t think you were at least somewhat useful, he wasn’t the type to waste time.
still, something about this felt… off. not in a bad way, just unusual. jake rarely asked for company, let alone your company outside of work hours.
you leaned back in your chair, arms crossed. “i’m not sure how an assistant is supposed to be helpful at an observatory.”
jake shrugged, nonchalant. “moral support.”
you gave him a flat look. “moral support?”
“yeah. you know. in case i get emotionally overwhelmed by all the equations.”
you snorted, shaking your head. “right. that definitely sounds like something you’d struggle with.”
there was a glint in his eyes, like he was amused by your skepticism, but he didn’t argue. just watched you, waiting for your answer.
you exhaled through your nose, considering. the observatory wasn’t exactly your idea of an exciting evening, but… you couldn’t deny you were curious.
and maybe – just maybe – a small part of you liked the fact that he had asked.
“…fine,” you relented. “but if i get bored, i’m leaving.”
jake smirked. “noted.”
which brings you to now.
the observatory was quieter than you expected. it stood at the edge of campus, slightly isolated, its large dome stretching into the night sky, a dark canvas dotted with stars, and though you've never really considered yourself someone particularly enthralled by space, you can't deny the way the sight steals your breath.
in the center of the room, a massive telescope stands like something out of a sci-fi movie, its lenses gleaming under the soft glow of the control panel. but what steals your breath is the view beyond the glass ceiling – an entire universe stretched out above you, vast and infinite.
you exhale, stunned. “wow.”
jake watches you, something unreadable in his expression. “yeah,” he murmurs. “i thought you’d like it.”
there’s something about the way he says it – soft, almost hesitant – that makes your pulse skip.
jake was already setting up, his movements methodical. you hovered near the entrance, taking in the scene before finally making your way to him.
“so, what now?” you asked, clearing your throat.
he glanced at you, then gestured to a set of notes on the table. “just cross-check these while i calibrate the telescope.”
you nodded, flipping through the pages. silence settled between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. just the soft rustling of paper, the occasional click of buttons, and the steady sound of jake adjusting the equipment.
after a while, you looked up, watching him in his element. his brows were slightly furrowed in concentration, his fingers moving deftly over the controls. there was something almost peaceful about seeing him like this, completely immersed in his work.
“so.” you clear your throat, still taking in the sky. “this is where you go when you disappear for hours?”
“sometimes,” he admits. “it’s quiet here. no emails. no meetings. just… this.”
he moves to the telescope, adjusting the dials with practiced ease before glancing at you. “want to see?”
you hesitate for only a second before stepping closer.
jake’s hands brush against yours as he guides you to the eyepiece, and you pretend not to notice the way your skin hums from the contact.
you peer in, and suddenly, it’s just you and the stars.
it’s breathtaking. planets and constellations in sharp clarity, galaxies swirling in a cosmic dance.
“this is insane,” you whisper.
jake chuckles. “insane in a good way?”
“in the best way.” your voice reduces to a whisper on its own accord. through the eyepiece, you feel like you’re experiencing something intimate, only for your eyes. “i think i’m starting to understand why you like doing this work.”
you don’t know what motivates you to actually say it out aloud, but the comfortable silence that had settled between you may have been a catalyst.
jake laughs a tiny little laugh, almost quietly as if he wanted to preserve the sanctity of this moment. nothing but the hum of the machines surround you now and he can hear the way your clothes rustle when you adjust yourself to the telescope.
“it makes sense,” he said simply.
you tilted your head. “more than people do?”
his hands stilled.
for a moment, you thought he wouldn’t answer. but then, he let out a quiet breath, gaze still fixed on the telescope.
“people aren’t predictable,” he said finally. “science is.”
you set the notes down, stepping closer. “predictability isn’t everything sometimes.”
he turned to look at you then, something unreadable in his expression. the air between you felt heavier, charged with something neither of you could name. the way his gaze lingered made your stomach twist, and for a second, you thought he might say something – something important.
there’s a beat of silence before he speaks again, voice quieter. “you ever think about it?”
“think about what?”
“how small we are,” he muses. “how, in the grand scheme of the universe, we’re just specks of dust on a floating rock.”
you pull away from the telescope to look at him, but his gaze is fixed upward.
“you’re telling me,” you start, amused, “that we came all the way here so you could have an existential crisis?”
jake huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “no. i just—” he hesitates, choosing his words. “i guess i wanted to show you why i love this.”
you don’t know why, but that confession makes something tighten in your chest.
you watch him for a moment – how the glow of the dim lights casts a soft halo around his face, how his brows furrow ever so slightly in thought. the glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, reflecting the stars above you. how his eyes shine behind those glasses, holding things you didn’t dare to ask him about. the soft smile tugging on the corners of his lips as his neck craned up in familiar appreciation.
for once, you don’t feel like an outsider in his world.
“this is where it started for me,” he said suddenly, his voice quieter than usual.
you turned to him, curious. “what did?”
his lips curved, not quite a smile, but something softer. “my obsession with space. the stars. everything.”
you waited, sensing that he wasn’t finished. and after a beat, he exhaled, tilting his head back as if he could reach into the past and pluck the memory right from the sky.
“i was ten the first time i saw saturn through a telescope,” he murmured. “my mom took me to an observatory for my birthday. she—” he hesitated for a fraction of a second before continuing. “she wasn’t exactly the type to understand science, but she knew i loved it. so she made the trip just for me.”
you watched him, noting the way his fingers twitched slightly before curling into his palm.
“she let me stay up late,” he went on, voice quieter now, more thoughtful. “and i remember looking through that telescope and seeing saturn’s rings for the first time. it didn’t feel real. it was just this perfect thing, floating out there in the dark. and i thought, ‘if something this beautiful exists so far away, what else is out there?’”
you felt your heart twist at the wonder in his tone, the lingering traces of a child who had once stared at the universe with wide-eyed fascination.
“she sounds like she really cared,” you said gently.
jake’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “yeah,” he admitted. “she did.”
a comfortable silence stretched between you, the weight of nostalgia settling in. when he spoke again, his voice was a touch lighter. “anyway, that’s how it all started. one night, one telescope, and a planet millions of miles away.”
you smiled. “and now you’re here. making it your whole life.”
he huffed a soft laugh. “yeah, guess so.”
the two of you stood there for a while longer, the silence stretching between you – not awkward, not uncertain, just there. comfortable. quiet. something unspoken settling in the air between you like stardust.
and when jake finally broke the silence, it wasn’t with another question. it was with a quiet, thoughtful, almost teasing murmur—
“you know, saturn’s rings are actually disappearing.”
you turned to him, eyebrows raised, almost alarmed. “what?”
he smirked, a knowing glint in his eyes. “slowly, of course. give it a hundred million years.”
you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small, amused smile that pulled at your lips. typical.
jake had been careful in his explanations at first, as if gauging whether you were truly interested or simply indulging him. but the moment he realized you actually wanted to listen, something in him loosened. the words started flowing, effortless, unfiltered. he spoke of nebulae and galaxies colliding, of stars that lived and died before the earth had even existed. he pointed out constellations, filling the silence with a quiet reverence that made you feel like you were standing on the edge of something infinite.
you wonder if anyone else has ever seen this side of him.
not the researcher, not the reserved and often too-intense scholar, but the man who could speak about the cosmos with a fascination so deep it bled into his voice. the man who, for all his cool detachment, still carried the kind of awe that made you believe in something bigger than yourself.
and that’s when it happens. that’s when you feel it.
that slow, creeping realization that something has shifted. that this isn’t just about your inherent respect for this man. no, it was more than that. sure, you had started this month with a reluctant motivation to make this person acknowledge your existence.
but now that he is? it does something to you.
a quiet, unsettling shift that settles deep in your bones, in the spaces between your ribs where your heart beats just a little too fast. the realization slinks in slow, insidious – like the tide rolling in, creeping past where you thought the shore ended, until suddenly, you’re in deeper than you meant to be.
jake is still speaking, voice steady and sure, filling the silence with his quiet reverence. you barely hear the words anymore. something about the life cycle of stars, about the sheer immensity of time itself – how the light from some of these constellations has taken millions of years to reach earth, how when you look up, you are peering into the past.
it should be overwhelming. it should make you feel small.
but instead, all you can think about is the man beside you. talking so animatedly, his lips splitting into a grin, his teeth biting into the flesh every once in a while when he pointed out another constellation to you.
the paperwork you were here for in the first place remained forgotten. insignificant, almost as if you hadn’t really been required for it in the first place.
because you realize, then, that this isn’t just admiration anymore. this isn’t just you being awed by his mind, by the way he sees the universe with such unguarded wonder. it’s not just about the way he listens when you speak, or how he’s begun to answer your notes with scribbled facts, or how he’s been looking at you lately, with something unreadable in his gaze.
it’s him.
jake, with his impossible knowledge and even more impossible depth, the way his fascination bleeds into his voice when he speaks of things so much bigger than himself. the way his eyes are fixed on the sky, dark and gleaming, reflecting galaxies you’ll never touch but somehow feel closer to just by standing here next to him.
and it terrifies you.
because this isn’t what you planned. you were supposed to break down the walls between you, supposed to demand acknowledgment, supposed to pull him out of that self-imposed solitude and make him see you.
but now that he does?
now that he’s speaking to you like this, sharing this piece of himself so freely, without reservation?
now that you’re standing here, heart stuttering in your chest, wondering if maybe – just maybe – you don’t want him to see you just as his assistant anymore?
the thought makes your breath hitch.
“—are you listening?”
jake’s voice cuts through the haze of your thoughts, and you blink, snapping back to the present. he’s turned toward you now, brows raised in mild amusement, but there’s something else in his eyes, too – something patient, expectant, like he’s waiting for you to catch up to whatever just shifted between you.
you clear your throat hastily. “yeah. of course.”
his gaze lingers for a moment, like he doesn’t quite believe you. but then he huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he looks back toward the sky.
“good,” he murmurs. “i’d hate to bore you.”
as if he could.
you don’t say it out loud. instead, you let your gaze drift up to the stars, to the vastness of everything above you.
and you let the realization settle, no matter how terrifying it is. because something’s happening. something has happened in the span of a month already. you have an inkling as to what it is, but you’re not going to admit to it. not yet.
the tiny voice in the back of your mind is here to support you on that cause it seems, chanting in tiny font: just an assistant, just an assistant, just an assistant.
but when jake shifts closer, his shoulder brushing yours ever so slightly, you’re not sure who you’re trying to convince anymore
sixteen.
the office is eerily quiet at this hour, save for the rhythmic scratch of a marker against the whiteboard. the usual hum of ringing phones and hurried conversations has long since died down, leaving behind an almost sacred kind of stillness.
you glance at the clock in jake’s office – 7:34 pm. way past your office hours, but jake’s still in his office.
jake should have gone home hours ago. so should you. and yet, here you are, perched on the edge of his desk, watching as he works through whatever calculations are currently consuming his mind.
you’ve seen this scene play out before, too many times now.
it used to be just an observation. a fleeting thought that it couldn’t be healthy to spend so many hours so completely submerged in work. but lately, that thought has settled into something heavier, something almost akin to concern.
he’s been stuck for the last twenty minutes. you can tell because he’s frowning at the whiteboard like it personally offended him, one hand on his hip, the other tapping the marker absently against his thigh. you can practically see the gears turning in his head, equations unraveling and reforming, one possibility after another spinning behind his sharp gaze.
you don’t know when you started caring like this. you really don’t.
but you do.
so, as you hover near his desk, watching him scribble something with an almost frantic energy, you decide – he needs a break. and you, apparently, have taken it upon yourself to make sure he gets one.
“dr. sim,” you say, but it barely registers. his pen doesn’t even pause. nothing.
with a sigh, you reach forward and pluck the pen right out of his hand.
that gets his attention.
he blinks, finally looking up at you, and you don’t miss the way his brows furrow, like he’s only just realizing you’ve been standing there this whole time. you would have laughed at the way he looks at you like a kicked puppy. like you just snatched his lollipop right from his hands. although, given the situation, that’s an accurate comparison.
“what are you doing?” he asks, voice slightly rough from lack of use.
“saving you from yourself.” you twirl the pen between your fingers, giving him your best unimpressed look. “when’s the last time you took a break?”
he exhales sharply, rubbing his temples. “i don’t have time for a break.”
you shake your head. “that’s not an answer.”
jake lets out a quiet groan, leaning back in his chair. “i just need to finish this.”
“that’s what you said two hours ago.” you glance at the clock pointedly.
his lips press together, but you see the way exhaustion flickers across his features. he’s wearing himself down, the way he always does, and for some reason, that doesn’t sit right with you anymore.
“you look like you’re about to fight that thing,” you tease, breaking the silence.
jake exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. “might as well. it’s being stubborn.”
you tilt your head, pretending to examine the mess of symbols and numbers scrawled across the board. you don’t understand a fraction of it, but that’s never stopped you from trying. “have you tried… asking nicely?”
jake gives you a flat look, and you grin, making your way over to the whiteboard in question.
“or,” you continue, voice laced with mischief, “you could let me help. i’m very good at doodling. that squiggly line right there?” you gesture vaguely toward the board. “desperately needs a smiley face.”
for a second, he just stares at you, expression unreadable. then, to your surprise, the corner of his mouth twitches. “that’s not a squiggly line. it’s a sigma notation.”
“yeah, well, i think it would be a lot friendlier if it had some personality.” before he can protest, you lean forward, swiping the marker from his hand. with a few quick strokes, you turn the apparently very serious mathematical symbol into a little doodle of a face, complete with tiny arms raised in triumph.
jake huffs out something that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. “that’s sacrilegious.”
“it’s art,” you correct, grinning as you cap the marker and toss it back to him. “you’re welcome.”
he shakes his head, but there’s a softness there, something warm and reluctant in the way he looks at you. like he can’t quite believe you’re here, in his space, disrupting his routine with something as simple as a smiley face on a whiteboard.
like he hasn’t just surprised himself by not losing his mind over the fact that you just doodled on his very important notes. like he doesn’t even mind.
for a long moment, he just stands there, marker still loosely gripped in his fingers. then, with a quiet sigh, he lifts it and – to your utter delight – draws something beside your doodle.
he started with a small star in the corner – sharp, clean lines. then, next to it, he hesitated before adding another one. then another.
you tilted your head, watching him with something warm in your gaze. “what are you drawing?”
he glanced at you, then back at the board. “…orion’s belt.”
a slow smile stretched across your lips. “of course.”
jake didn’t know why the warmth in your voice made his pulse stutter, but it did. and when you stepped closer, your shoulder brushing his ever so slightly, he felt it even more acutely – the soft graze of fabric against fabric, the fleeting press of warmth before it vanished again
he doesn’t know when he started paying attention to things like this. the way your laughter fills up a room, how effortlessly it winds its way into the air, sinking into the corners of his office like it belongs there. the way you nudge him – not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, in ways no one else ever has.
he doesn’t know when it started, but he knows now that he’s in too deep to ignore it.
because right now, he’s standing at the whiteboard, marker in hand, with you beside him, doodling what can only be described as a catastrophically inaccurate solar system.
and somehow, impossibly, he’s smiling.
actually smiling.
he catches himself in the reflection of the glass across the room, and it startles him a little. he looks different. softer, somehow. the lines of his face, not weighed down by calculations or theories, but by something lighter. something he doesn’t quite have a name for yet.
jake doesn't know how long he stands there, marker in hand, staring at the mess of doodles you've scattered across his once-pristine whiteboard. he should be appalled, maybe even annoyed, but he's neither. if anything, he feels... lighter.
your laughter still lingers in the air, curling around the edges of the quiet like something tangible, something warm. and when you shift beside him, stretching lazily with a satisfied hum, he catches a faint trace of your perfume, something soft and familiar, something he has no right to associate with comfort but does anyway.
"i think we did some great work here," you say, stepping back to admire your collective masterpiece. "a true collaboration between genius and artist."
jake huffs a laugh, shaking his head. "you mean vandalism."
"semantics," you counter easily, nudging his elbow playfully. your touch is fleeting, barely there, but jake still feels it long after you've moved away. he grips the marker tighter than necessary.
you glance at him then, a knowing glint in your eyes. "alright, dr. sim. time for your verdict. did my artistic intervention help at all?"
he exhales slowly, letting his gaze sweep over the board again. and maybe it’s the exhaustion, or maybe it’s you, but he realizes that, somehow, the problem no longer seems as daunting as it did twenty minutes ago. the frantic mess of calculations, the numbers that had refused to align, don’t feel as suffocating now.
it’s absurd. it’s ridiculous. but somehow, your ridiculous doodles make the whole thing feel less intimidating.
jake turns his head slightly, watching you from the corner of his eye. you’re still looking at the board, a pleased little smile on your lips, completely oblivious to the way his mind is currently betraying him.
when did this start? when did you start creeping into his thoughts, into his space, into his carefully structured life with your easy laughter and casual touches? when did your presence start feeling like a constant, like something that belonged?
the realization unsettles him.
he clears his throat, looking away. "it’s… better."
your smile widens, and for some reason, jake has to fight the urge to look away again. "see? i told you i’m helpful."
he rolls his eyes, but there’s no real exasperation behind it. if anything, it’s just an excuse to look at something other than your stupidly pleased expression, which, annoyingly enough, does things to him he’d rather not analyze right now.
"well," you say, clapping your hands together, "my work here is done. i’ve successfully distracted you from overworking yourself into an early grave. i should get a raise."
jake snorts, shaking his head. "you’re already overpaid."
"lies and slander," you gasp dramatically, pressing a hand to your chest. "i should report you to hr for emotional damage."
he’s about to retort when you suddenly step forward, reaching for the marker in his hand. jake’s breath hitches – completely involuntarily, because that’s the only explanation – as your fingers brush against his.
it’s brief. a fraction of a second, really. but it’s enough.
jake freezes.
the touch is light, barely there, but his mind registers it in excruciating detail – the faint press of your skin against his, the subtle warmth of your fingertips. it’s nothing. it’s everything. it’s enough to send his brain into a sudden, inexplicable shutdown.
you don’t seem to notice. or if you do, you pretend not to. you just pluck the marker from his hand and uncap it, adding one final detail to your masterpiece.
jake watches, still unnervingly aware of the ghost of your touch lingering on his skin. his fingers curl slightly, as if trying to hold onto something that’s no longer there.
you step back with a satisfied nod, capping the marker with a flourish. "there. perfect."
he barely registers what you’ve added – a tiny shooting star trailing behind orion’s belt – because he’s too busy trying to school his expression into something neutral, something that doesn’t betray the way his heart is currently behaving like it’s lost all sense of reason.
silence stretches between you for a beat too long. jake wonders if you can hear it – the way his pulse feels too loud, the way his carefully structured composure feels like it’s cracking at the edges.
then, mercifully, you step away, stretching again as you let out a small yawn. "alright, for real this time. i should go before i become permanently attached to this office."
jake nods, not trusting himself to speak just yet.
you glance at him one last time before heading for the door but for a moment, you just stand there, your fingers hovering over the doorknob. then you turn, looking at him with something softer in your gaze. something thoughtful.
"you should go home soon too, dr. sim."
it’s the first time you’ve said his name like that. no teasing, no playful lilt. just quiet. just sincere. jake’s heart clenches, aching to hear you call him but his first name. but he doesn’t say anything. not yet.
and for reasons he can’t quite explain, it sends something dangerously warm curling in his chest.
jake swallows. he nods.
you smile – soft, small, something just for him – and then you’re gone, the sound of the door clicking shut behind you somehow louder than it should be.
jake exhales slowly, staring at the empty space you left behind.
then, finally, he looks back at the whiteboard.
the equations are still there, unsolved. the numbers are still a mess, waiting for him to untangle them. but in the midst of all that, there’s something else now. doodles and stars and smiley faces. a small, stupidly drawn solar system that doesn’t belong in a room like this, in a world like his.
and yet.
jake lifts a hand, absentmindedly tracing a fingertip over the edge of one of your stars.
and yet, somehow, impossibly…it fits.
jake wonders if maybe, just maybe, not everything in his world has to be so rigid, so calculated. maybe some things – some people – aren’t meant to be neatly solved, but simply felt. and as his fingers linger over the soft curve of your drawn star, he realizes, with quiet certainty, that you’re the first anomaly he doesn’t want to solve.
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fracturedtimee · 7 months ago
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"jinx understands that she is the one standing in the way of vi, of letting her make her own choices in her own life, and gives her permission to do it"
first off, as you mentioned, it's not jinx holding vi back–it's vi's own trauma and guilt.
it's the culmination of her carrying the weight of feeling responsible for the creation of jinx, the death of mylo, claggor, and vander, being parentified at a young age, being thrown in prison as a minor and spending almost a decade there, and being oppressed all her life.
saying that vi can only find happiness if jinx isn't in her life is so wierd and wrong, seeing that by the end of s2 vi still isn't happy
last, it feels somewhat inappropriate to imply this knowing that jinx literally tries to off herself several times after this scene. like that was really the intent/takeaway from it...
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can't say i'm a fan of this wording :/ it was never jinx "in the way of vi" it was vi's trauma, guilt, and oppression. they really said vi can't be happy unless her mentally ill sister (that she loves) leaves which is pretty fucked up imo
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