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ok as i said im pasting this stuff. sorry everyone on mobile. these are pasted raw (except for fixed spelling mistakes) straight from the confines of my notes app (they have been pasted onto a doc for the sake of keeping everuthing in order).
{12th april 2023} this was a piece of narration i wrote for a scrapped askblog idea where prisma and bitter would hangout after death. this was when she saw him fro the first time iirc
{11th june 2023} a tidbit of some swagma i wrote while falling asleep lol. this was propably the first actual writing ive done.
{26th april 2024} a tidbit for my hugelarge comic concept. this was supposed to be a written form of a sort of ripped page youd find attatched to the comic that just served as more context
{18th april 2024} some kanamafus living togheter stuff. mafuyu washing kanade's hair :)
{17th september 2023} a hugelarge fic idea based on a bit me and my friend did from the gameplay we were doing. it was basically komeada being conviced that he died and he's a ghost bc everyone ignored him. this was that bit but taken seriously and very very far. tbh rereading this im obsessed with this. this also started a trend where i would come up with an idea, make a shit ton of bits and pieces, never connect them, and never finish it.
{3rd july 2024} (in the seal part it was after they accidentally killed unpleasant) Now, this what i had written out of the big one [post about it here]. i had ltierally so little written of it and confidence to actually start writing it and/or finish it that i called the note "bits and pieces". also most of this was written quite late so thats why theres so many gaps and "idk wtf i meant here". everything here is out of order and tbh i shouldve put it in order. tbh i should write this but im already working on something big and i WILL NOT abandon it lmao
{1st august 2024} a wip of a drabble about gnarpy being adopted by wallter. this one actually made it to its own doc but stayed pretty much the same
i think thats all? the rest of the wips i have are quite long and/or i plan to finish someday.
thanks for coming to my ted talk
#txt#my writing#<- YO is that a... new tag?#yeayayea whayever i might emplore it#my art#tbh i have no idea but i think my writing improved over the like. half a year ive been writing#yay :))))#other wip from this era (summer 2024) im thinking of was already posted onto a different post with a bunch of drawings recently so yea#edit: omg lol i competely forgot i have a dark theme for docs but i disabled it and forgot to enable when i was having trouble pasting the-#text LOLLLL#edit: this is under a readmore now but on my artblog its full :D
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Fitz’s desk at Withywoods. How much do you think he put on paper that he just never told us about…
A million thanks to @tragediegh for letting me use the text of that main letter (I asked for gay and sad and yearning and she came through IMMEDIATELY haha) - you can read the whole thing in her incredible new fic Worth the Wait
#rote#fool’s assassin#fitz and the fool trilogy#fitzloved#my art#the letter in the upper left is taken straight from RotE bc the canon text is filled with sad gay yearning already#I’m imagining him getting really drunk one night and doodling about Beloved for hours#also. I spent five minutes drawing the derpiest dragons of all time and then a million hours drawing that brandy glass. idk lollll#it was simply very important to me that there be rainbows across the pages
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I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?
I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:
I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."
I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™
Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.
Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:
Endearing vulnerability/helplessness
Gay ship tease
Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.
So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.
We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.
He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!
The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.
When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.
And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.
Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.
His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.
Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--
Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.
Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.
And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.
In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.
This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂
Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.
Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?
Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?
It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)
Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.
The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.
Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)
So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.
Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.
To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.
The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.
He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.
He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.
This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.
He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.
He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.
His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??
People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?
Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.
The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:
Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.
At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:
Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.
You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.
He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.
He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.
He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.
He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.
He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)
He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.
He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...
To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.
Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.
In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.
Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.
Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.
#honkai star rail#aventurine#aventurine meta#hsr meta#character analysis#listen I see you angsty fic writers who bully our favorite for maximum emotional gain#I am a ratiorine fan with the best of them#so I fully understand the appeal of the “I can fix him” fic#but like#there is so much else just waiting in the text of the game#that makes Aventurine such a rich complex and nuanced character#admitting that the IPC is the least of his issues makes him MORE interesting#not less#I promise#also like#getting so tired of reductive reads of my posts#just because I don't think Aventurine is a slave of the IPC#doesn't mean I think the IPC are good people#I'm not sure how many times I can say#'They're evil and are actively exploiting him for profit'#before people will stop saying I'm an IPC apologist lollll#I promise it is possible for Aventurine to have agency AND for the IPC to still be evil#those two statements can co-exist
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can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot
#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl#i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters#she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS#the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever#and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her#i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll#i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^(#ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3#sunnysidedraws#den's ocs tag#described#id in alt text#ocs#original character
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got a cool helmet some months ago and decked it out in stickers, finally decided to get some photos with it :) can you tell i have no idea how to angle selfies
#also button on my skirt is Lowkey undone and i did not notice at the time LOLLLL#text#the elusive fish cameo#maybe i’ll take some better pics of just the helmet later. i love it#the reflections in the helmet look so dumb but i don’t know what to do about that#polarizing filter???
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for double-crossed/ the vn i was going to include a section of side charas too but i ran out of time to make them orz.....but im also v indecisive when it comes to chara design so we shall see when they can be free from my brain prison...
#text#AND IN CASE ANYONES STILL CONFUSED THERES NO VN IN PROGRESS ISSA APRIL FOOLS JOKE.......#if it wasn't apparent already i banged out the titlescreen literally an hour before i posted LOLLLL#but seeing yall suffer was worth it >:)c#rubbing my devious grubby little hands together
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alright
#dan and phil#dan and phil games#dpgdaily#dan howell#phil lester#amazingphil#phan#i just realized i forgot to fucking make the lining for the text okay LOLLLL whateverrrrr#also the first gif is zoomed in on the box okay okay#.gifs#my edit#mine#dnp
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no siren like the sea
#animation#artists on tumblr#original character#comic#animating is so fun omg#i wish it was easy to have an art career :( but alas#oh i feel so pathetic bc my work crush never texted me and he doesnt care abt me lollll#my boss asked my today: why do you like him?#and im like girl yea#hes broke#he aint even that cute fr#annnndd#yeah not rly much redeeming qualities#just a nice vibe ig?? but thats it??#like p sure God be saving me from my own ignorance fr DSFGJDS#i kinda wanna try to dress up real cute next week and just idk#put it to rest#if he wont bite after that hes outta my braaainn#lol#why is it so hard to find good men these days#anyway i think i need to do more hobbies and do more fun stuff bc screw it#not worth fr
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was listening to a podcast review of the giggle and apparently tennant said in unleashed theyd adress the boss in gatwas era. But it was always the plan to do 2 series huh?
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The fun thing about dc is that when Superboy gets called in to deal with a horrible emergency in The Unethical Cloning And Monster Making Lab, you kinda expect it to be a problem Cadmus literally made for itself, but sometimes it's just "oh yeah found this cursed glove that plays on your deepest issues and also a literal demon from hell wants it". Relatedly, I appreciate that Kon is haunted by Black Zero when he wears the glove but I think it could have been so much worse lol twist the knife a little bit more!
#hm. also i think i accidentally gave him a better backstory for switching to the tshirt uniform lollll whoops#anyway these were really practicing lighting and composition for. another piece of work. but anyway i liked em#they get to go in the main tags#my art#alt text#Kon-El#serling roquette#the newsboy legion#match dc#black zero#bizzaroboy#adam grant#I'm not tagging the individual newsies or candy that's too much and also not the same character if he's dead lol
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even though im making a dance studio for the strip mall in my save file, i do still want to make a larger dance studio. i just wish it (dancing) was expanded on in gameplay, because its such a popular and fun hobby. Mourning that businesses and hobbies is such a flop without packs and even with them Still just doesnt measure up sigh
#text#like i dont want to just be doing set dressing i want my builds to Integrate into gameplay#and ive been wanting to re-create the abby lee miller dance studio LOLLLL
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Y’all Is Pocket Camp Worth It?
I am considering it 🙏
#I need to know bc i just text-begged my mom at almost 1AM LOLLLL#animal crossing#acpc complete#acpc community#animal crosing pocket camp#ac pocket camp
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love it here

#text#anyway we’ve had no power or internet or cell service since yesterday#i’m at a friends house so i can answer emails LOLLLL#we love weather!#so if you don’t hear from me for a little while. This is why ❤️
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😩 💦 LUCYYYYYY
#stfu wilson#scam texts#i screenshotted my screenshot so i could appropriately block my name#lollll#definitely not someone actually named lucy probably some random person#pretending to be a person named lucy#wish i had skills to unveil them#the best i got was anonymously calling the number#revealing it's a TextNow number
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guy finally shut up i was literally abt to call the cops for a noise complaint because i went outside and said “hey can you please be a bit quieter some people have to work in the morning” and he started screaming at me but then he stopped pretty soon after so. awesome
#i hate dealing w the police but guy was straight up threatening me through my closed door. but he gave up#i texted my other neighbor and she got a recording of him so were gonna go complain to the apartment tomorrow lollll#finally stopped fucking shaking at least. still nauseous as fuck though
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Ppl just don't go on killing sprees anymore because what's the point if you can't even afford your own little private place to kill people in?
What are you gonna do? Kill people in your 500 ft² apartment?? You can't do that, your upstairs neighbor would hear all of it.
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