#th: 1 in a million

[chropyl]

uhh tsp redraws ohhhhy eah

[i-ate-the-rats]

I will definitely sober up and ehhhhhhhhh myself bc of this fucking background.

THE closeup.

[reipx]

So sweet!!! They are in love!!! 😭

[ahalliance]

"This season, Dylan is isolated and I think he has neglected his connections with the MDR folks. And then he reads [his outie]'s letter and he kinda decides, 'Well I'm gonna be here, let me get back to my friends, and be here with them'."

Zach Cherry on Dylan, S2E10 of The Severance Podcast

[c-kiddo]

ashton crutches: that weird S that everyone learns in school

yes. awesome . so true thank u for your input

[dreamboyf]

i haven't finished a wip in years what is wrong with meeeee

[amorimato]

it pains me a little that i'm still in the megorigin era of my little machination because comics and tv wise im already a little ahead to where they're less moody and more hilarious and it's so genuienly painful to me to not be drawing funnies. for the love of god we need more stupid in here

[uwuguay]

"poor people in the US aren't your enemy" + "the government barely pays the us military enough" is insane.

poor people of the united states would come to my country, bomb my house, and kill and rape my family and friends, all so they could get a college degree. ask anyome from afghanistan or iran.

it's easy for you to say this shit when you could never be in their line of fire.

you ARE my enemy because you refuse to see this.

I mean usamericans have gotten used to way too many unnecessary commodities and services that have simply never been used across the world, and sure now that the US empire isn't at its prime anymore so it's economy is crumbling there's no way that a family could survive on a single income or have as much disposable income as before, but because their comfort expectations have always been astronomically out of the reality of 95% of other countries they think that they're singlehandedly suffering the most when historically mostly everywhere in the world take out has always been a luxury, so are holidays, cars and gas are a luxury, clothes, shoes, gaming consoles, computers and technology all together, books, makeup, snacks and literally anything you guys take for granted for the middle class and even lower middle class are luxuries in the rest of the world, for example when I was a kid I thought Pringles were smth only very well off people could regularly buy lol

[reasonsforhope]

"For [Tanner] Green, the chief engineer at Not a Wheelchair, this is one of the thousand complications standing between his team and a rather lofty goal: upending the manual wheelchair marketplace.

If you’ve heard of Not a Wheelchair, it’s likely because of its owners, Zack Nelson, the star of the 8.8-million-subscriber YouTube channel JerryRigEverything, and his wife Cambry, a para and manual wheelchair user. The Nelsons got into the mobility equipment business a few years ago when they released The Rig, an electric, adaptive off-road device with a simple yet robust and functional design priced significantly lower than anything else on the market. Now, they’re bringing that same ethos to manual wheelchairs.

Not a Wheelchair aims to offer a base-model, custom manual wheelchair at a similar or better quality than most of the insurance-approved wheelchairs in the U.S. for $999.

Yes, that’s just under $1,000 for everything — wheels, handrims, tires, side guards and rigid, angle-adjustable backrest included. And the company plans to have a turnaround time of weeks, rather than the monthslong slog that it typically takes from order to delivery.

When I first heard about this, it sounded awesome and a bit far-fetched. It’s hard to find a pair of quality wheelchair wheels for less than $500. Same with a rigid backrest. How were they going to offer both, plus a custom wheelchair frame without compromising on quality? I drove to their headquarters in Utah to find out...

So how does Not a Wheelchair’s base model chair stack up to other options on the market? I hate to sound like a preacher, but … it’s totally reasonable! It hits the mark of being at least as good, if not better, than the majority of insurance-approved wheelchairs in the U.S.

Touring the factory, I saw other prototypes scattered all around the facility. There’s a beefier, four-wheel drive version of The Rig that the company just launched. There’s a track wheelchair that’s still in development. It’s clear that Not a Wheelchair doesn’t intend to stop at a simple, manual wheelchair. Inexpensive components, more advanced electric off-road devices, power assist, it’s all on the table. “We’re just really excited to see where this leads,” says Green."

-Article and video via New Mobility, October 1, 2024

[rexhya]

What if the prince found out we were terminally ill and coughing blood and wasn’t suspected to live more then 6 months?

yandere!prince who doesn't initially notice the changes to your body. even he who watched you like a hawk couldn't detect the subtle differences from when he'd first seen your light sickness to when it was too late.

The trouble started up about a month ago, you'd contracted a cold from one of the other maids, that was nothing special. In fact, your other symptoms went away not long after but the hacking stayed persistent. You gone to see a general medic but he'd simply said it was a bad cough.

How wrong it was of you to trust him. "Are you still alright?" Anul asked, the two of you were in his room, his head resting on your lap as you ran cards through his hair.

"Yes I'm okay." Anul frowned, and flipped his body upwards so now he was facing you.

"You look pale, I should take you to Rosenwar. Rosenwar was the royal families personal doctor, she'd been serving the Royal Family for years, you had no place being tended to by someone of such importance.

"No, no that's quite alright, I've just been having allergies from the seasons changing that's all. There's no need for a doctor I'm quite alright." you patted Anul's hands as they cradled your face delicately. For a few moments he said nothing, simply stroking your cheek with his thumbs, his expression unreadable.

"Okay." he said, and his lips pressed to yours softly, it was the most innocent kiss you'd received from him in all the time you'd spent.

If only he knew it would be the last, he would have held It longer.

His coronation was only 3 weeks from now, days had passed without since that day in his bedroom and he was ready to be done with all the ceremonial and technical transfers from prince to king that kept him away from you.

Around 2pm in the afternoon, the hazy summer light falling into his bedroom, Anul found you on his bed, your back was turned and you were breathing so softly he almost didn't look at you, as to not wake you up.

But your sleeping face was never one he could resist. His heart fell into abysmal. Velvet red blood pooled at your mouth, it's why your breathing was so soft you were unconscious. He's frantic and scared at Rosenward examines you with her team of nurses, he's halfway into a heart attack when the doctor tells him you're most likely going to wake up today if not tomorrow.

He stays with you the entire time, abusing his power to keep the nurses on round the clock care for you, though your vitals never change and your heart never stops.

When you do finally open your eyes, Anul wants to scream at Rosenward, that wasn't today or tomorrow, it took a week for your body to recover from whatever horrible disease had gotten to it.

You look thin, Anul tries not to cry. "Sweetheart?" he asks tentatively, like speaking would somehow send you back into a week long coma only this time you'd never return.

"Water." you croak and the man brings you a glass within seconds.

Soon enough your body is examined, you contracted a rare disease from that maid, (one he's kept in mind to already kill). Mortuupulmonis only affected 1% of his kingdomes population, and worst of all, it had no cure.

He's wasted about two weeks of his coronation preparation time when he finds this out. The doctor estimated about a 6 months before he ran out of time. The coronation is post poned until then (his father is livid as usual) but Anul doesn't care not even in the slightest bit.

You get worse and worse everyday as Anul pours millions and millions of coin into finding a cure for you, he even goes international to make a statement and hopefully received something, anything but with not luck. He feels hopeless by month 3, your body is piratically crumbling at the seams and all he could do was watch. By month four he's broke, there was no more cures for him to spend, no more medicines to buy, there was nothing.

Nothing but you and your hosiptal bed srounned by things you loved.

"How you feeling today?" Anul whispers. "Mm." you haven't been much into talking these days.

He does his routine, clean your bedding, force feed you anything you'll take that day and check in with Rosenward on things you know didn't matter.

You were going to die, he knew it, you knew it, they both knew it.

On month six Anul doesn't renounce his coronation. Instead he stays by you side until the very end, even after youve took your last breath, Anul would probably stay with you until l your body rotted.

If only he knew. He would've kissed you harder.

[beastwhimsy]

ONE MILLION BILLION PONY ADOPTS!!!!! 9/21 available!

PRICE REDUCED FROM 20USD to 10USD! if you want to offer more, please do! I can add a horn and/or wings for an extra $1. toyhouse post here

once a pony has been paid for, I will send the non-watermarked image to you. SOLD LIST:

seal with ball - slumberingsuns venus flytrap - wheatlev apple and worm - mouldybread purple dusk - hanged-man-is-trans book with candles - parrotparfait calico cat - parrotparfait ladybird - beetlebarks on th bugs - pbjamms potions - wheatlev mocha marshmallows - arcreblogs sandcastle showers - widowgasted mushrooms - owodnia seahorse - cirrusskyanimations

[pha55ed]

Is It Casual Now? || F2 bad ending!

type :: angst tw/cw :: hurt, hurt/comfort contains :: ollie, kimi, paul, arthur summary :: after getting rejected from the boys, despite them showing every sign of being madly in love with you, you two finally meet again. maybe you make up, maybe you don't. - inspo "casual" by chappel roan - PART 1 HERE

Ollie Bearman | 03

Almost two weeks went by without a sight of Ollie. You couldn't bring yourself to go outside, you felt so embarrassed from what you did. Every time you thought of it, you either cringed or cried, sometimes both. It was hard to not think of it, since everything reminded you of him.

Every clothing item you owned, Ollie has complimented you in it at least once. Every spot in your house had a specific memory attached to Ollie, like your bathroom where he straightened your hair or your kitchen cabinets where he reached for the plates that you couldn't reach. It was like you were stuck in hell, constantly forced to think of him and how you ruined everything between you both.

It drove you crazy, to the point you started to shut everyone else out. Not even your closest friends knew about what happened, you were too ashamed to admit what you did. You lied to everyone, saying you were just super sick and couldn't hangout with anyone. You weren't fully lying, you were sick from all the crying you did, but you also didn't have the energy to go outside and possibly risk crying in public.

Once again, you were crying in your room alone, doom-scrolling in hopes of finding a funny meme to cheer you up for a split second. But when you scrolled, you saw a random girl's post. Which was odd, you never got actual posts in your feed, and if you did it was normally an ad.

But it didn't seem like an ad, but instead a real post. She could 100% be a model: soft blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a cute smile, and an amazing body. You knew you shouldn't compare yourself to random people online, but it's hard not to when you've been rotting in your bed for a week over a boy who led you on for almost an entire fucking year.

As you swiped, seeing her amazing lifestyle on a yacht in the ocean, that when you saw him. Ollie. Ollie, who sat alongside a group of two other boys and girls. Ollie, who had his hand gently on the blonde girl's shoulders as he pulled her in closer for the photo. Ollie, who was smiling whilst you were sick in bed from how much you exhausted your body from crying.

You couldn't believe it. It was as if those months together meant absolutely nothing to him. As if you meeting his family meant nothing to him, all those late night drives meant nothing, all of those compliments and hugs meant nothing, you meant nothing to him.

Instantly, you bursted into tears yet again. Unable to handle the ache in your heart, the burn in your lungs as they struggled to gasp for air. You meant nothing to him. And yet he was everything to you.

You always saw Ollie as a nice guy, a guy who would at least text you and apologize for how he acted. As if he was one of the few men on this planet who actually cared for you. But the fact that he didn't even call you once, text you once, or even knock on your door spoke a thousand words to you.

What's even worse, is when you pressed on the girl's post to see who was tagged, you couldn't help but press on Ollie's account. Once you did, for some reason all of his stuff was gone. No story highlights, no posts, no followers or following. That's when you realized: he blocked you.

Fuck him.

Fast forward 5 months: you were much better now. You got over the cringy memory of kissing him and seeing him wipe his lips so harshly: you realized you weren't in the wrong.

It took ages for you to realize that, but thankfully you had the help of your closest friends to help you see your worth. They let you rant and ramble for hours on end, about how sweet Ollie was and how he shattered your heart in a million pieces when he left you. And every single friend agreed on one thing: he was an asshole.

After many days of your friends forcing you to get out of bed and do something, you felt so much better. Your group was able to lift you from the shit hole you dug yourself in, even coming together to clean your completely filthy room that you trashed with water bottles, paper plates, and disgusting used tissues. It warmed your heart, making you want to do better to make them proud.

And you made them so proud. Seeing you get your shine back was worth those days of having you cry on their shoulder. You were your old self but even better, with a new hairstyle and new closet. For once, you could finally be proud of yourself. Something you never realized was how self-conscious you were with Ollie.

When you were with him, you constantly craved his validation. Not only him, but his family and friends as well. You completely changed your aesthetic for him, following the aesthetic that you knew he liked more. But now that you were out, you could finally indulge in clothes you actually liked instead of worrying if he would like it.

Once again, you were out with you friends for lunch, a new pass time you loved to death. It was a usual day, filled with family updates, drama from their colleges, and thirsting over a few celebrities. As you laughed from your friends sharing their,,, questionable celebrity crushes, you saw them all go silent.

Your laughter faded too once you looked in their direction, seeing Ollie standing there alone. He was wearing his favorite grey hoodie, his comfort hoodie. His eye bags looked worse than usual, something he rarely ever got since he has a great skincare routine thanks to you. And for the first time in your life, he was wearing slides... Something he swore against wearing because he thought they were so ugly and unprofessional.

Although he broke you, you couldn't help but feel worried for him. Your head was screaming no, you knew if you went to him it would only end in more hurt. There is no such thing as a "closure conversation", it would just led to more questions or even worse, a second chance. But you didn't care, your body moved out of your chair as you went over to him.

Your friends didn't try to stop you, confident that you were stable enough to handle talking to him again. He was waiting for his order, far from the dining area. His head never left the floor, he didn't even notice when you stood right next to him. His head only raised once he saw your shoes, his eyes widening once he saw you.

His eyes darted all across you, as if he was robot scanning to see if you were real. The way his mouth slightly parted showed what he was thinking: he was breathless.

"(Y-Y/N)?" He said softly, stuttering your name as if it was Voldemort. Your heart, on it's own, skipped a beat. Excited to hear the way his voice said your name.

"Ollie," you said, finally being able to say his name without shaking. The way you both stared at each other was speaking so much more than you both able to say. "Are you alright...?"

You felt like an idiot for caring for him. He led you on for months and blocked you once he got a new girl, a new girl whom you compared yourself to in every way possible.

"Yeah." He said, yet his eyes did the opposite. Something you never thought you would ever see: his eyes welled up with tears. "I just..."

Instantly, you placed a hand on his back, coincidentally right on his heart. You could feel how fast it was beating, as if it was a drum going at a tempo of a 300 bpm. Empathy was something you could never run from, it was engraved into you. On your own, your hand rubbed his back while your hand hand pinched the collar of his hoodie to wipe his tears with it.

And through Ollie's tears, he couldn't help but stare at you. Staring at the woman he lost. Regret was all he could feel, he wanted to pour his heart out to you. The way he's never been the same since you left.

So much has happened since he left you. He got with the random blonde girl you saw on Instagram but she ended up cheating on him. He ran out of the skincare you bought him but he's been too exhausted to go outside to buy a new batch. He couldn't focus on his races or training at all, having massive muscle loss due to not eating properly. He couldn't even go home to his family, since they bombarded him with question about you and how they missed you.

What broke him the most was how his baby sister, the sweetest girl in the world, always asked when you come over again. How she complained about losing her future "sister-in-law". And he felt the same way, he missed you 10 times more than his sister could even fathom.

You both stood there awkwardly in the restaurant. Still wiping his tears which he was fighting back against. Luckily no one was looking, since you were both slightly tucked away from the public view. You stayed like this for a few minutes until Ollie broke the silence.

"I miss you." His voice shaky. As he looked down at you, his big brown eyes that you loved were just as shiny as they were the night you kissed him. His hand reached for your cheek, cupping them as he stared at you, cherishing you.

But you cut his time short, gently removing his hands off your face as you looked at him. You didn't have the heart to say it, although he deserved it and worse, but you just shook your head.

And instantly Ollie understood, retracting his hands and putting them into his hoodie pocket. His nodded, looking down once again as his tears fell onto the cold floor.

"I'm sorry,"

Kimi Antonelli | 04

The rest of the day was filled with anxiety and overthinking, while Kimi was having a usual day. He was completely unaware of your inner turmoil, unaware of how you were now looking at his advances with a new light. Nothing was the same anymore, you felt like you barely knew him now.

The way you two went to lunch like usual. He finished his packing and insisted on taking you to lunch for a goodbye. Sitting side by side instead of across from each other, like usual, because he insisted to stay close to you. How he always touched you in some way, whether his knee touching yours or his hand straight up holding yours for a few seconds, because he insisted he needed to feel you. How he complimented you and smiled, but you saw through him now; his "smile" has always been a smirk.

You finished eating together, unable to reply to him with full energy or concentration. He caught on, offering to drop you home early and cut the hangout short. You thanked whoever was above for giving you an easy way out. Getting into his car was awkward for the first time in ages. The last time you felt "awkward" in his car was when you were first ever becoming friends, you always found him cute so it was exciting to be with him. You wonder if he knew you were awkward back then, maybe that's why he kept you around: to play with your emotions.

Finally getting to your house, you shut the door and was unable to look back at him to wave goodbye like usual. He noticed, of course he did, but he didn't push it. Thankfully, he would be gone for least a week due to him needing to do some pre-season preparation for his car and suits.

The second you got home, your facade broke down. Tears streamed down your face before you were even able to process them. Your mind was racing with a million thoughts: were you just a game?, did you mean nothing to him the whole time?, was he just toying you for fun?, did he always knew you liked him?, and how the fuck did you not see through him for months on end?

You felt so stupid, as if "idiot" was plastered across your forehead. Months, weeks, hours spent together doing basically everything a girlfriend and boyfriend did: for nothing, All of those cheesy date nights where Kimi introduced you as his girlfriend as a "joke" was nothing. Seeing his family who welcomed you with open arms was just another night for Kimi. Even admitting your deepest insecurities, something you never let anyone know, and how softly he comforted you, was just a casual day.

Being led on is one of the worst feelings ever, and you never felt it until this point. The heart ache, realizing that you were just a bit of fun for him. Your eyes couldn't even process the room in front of you, completely washed out from your tears. Your legs shaking from how heavy you body suddenly felt. How could he do this? The sweet boy who gleefully volunteered to teach you Italian. Something so innocent turned into months of you falling in love.

Weeks passed with constant texts from Kimi. Always asking how you were, why you were ignoring him, and if you wanted to meet up. But he quickly got the hint that you were no longer interested in being friends. He tried to get answers from you, visiting your house but you weren't home: instead you were being comforted by your best friend for weeks while you cried your heart out.

He gave up on you, no longer bothering to text and call you. He stopped coming to your house, your parents never saw him again nor did your security cameras. Although he never came to your physically, he couldn't leave your mind mentally.

Thankfully, your best friend was able to snap you back into your true self. It took many weeks of crying and multiple boxes of tissues, but you survived the "grief" phase and moved on from every other stage. All stages by anger.

As the months passed, you saw him in F2 having a great season: and that enraged you. How could he be having such a great season while you were picking up the shattered pieces of yourself. How could there be possible rumors of him moving up to F1 to drive for Mercedes when he hasn't even apologized to you once. It was driving you crazy: motivating you to do better.

Although you couldn't beat his career achievements, they were insanely impressive, you found something even better. You realized you had an amazing friend alongside you the whole time, Jak Crawford. Your best friend was amazing help, but Jak was too.

He went from a casual friend to your new boyfriend, and you couldn't be more grateful. Everything you had with Kimi, you had with Jak: but even better. Date nights with Kimi were always a bit awkward, you blamed it on teen love. But with Jak, it felt so natural and open, he let you say the most insane things and would agree with you.

Jak was everything you could ask for and more. Flowers on every date, stupid jokes that made you cry from laughing, and his family was so welcoming to you as well. He showed you off to his friends, even getting you matching jewelry to make sure everyone knew you were "his", something Kimi would have never done despite how much he acted like it. Jak was real, and he truly was proud to have you as his girlfriend.

So when he asked to bring you to his next race in Spa, you were honored but scared of seeing Kimi again. But he insisted, saying it was the last before the summer break and he wanted to be able to show you off the media and introduce you to his best mates on the grid. So when he said that, how could you possibly say no.

Now you were in the garage, waiting to greet Jak after his race. He finished 3rd which was amazing! You couldn't be more proud of him. But he was busy with interviews and a post-race talk, so you'd be there for about an hour or two before he was free. So you sat down outside, watching the rest of the racers cool down while the engineers and mechanics worked like crazy.

But as you observed the scene, you didn't notice how Kimi came up behind you. When you saw him, you jumped, your eyes widening as you stared at him. You wanted to ask what he was doing here, but it would be much more appropriate for him to ask you that.

"(Y/N)," He said you name with a sweet tone, his eyes looking at you with a glossy overcoat. "Why are you here?"

From his body language and tone, you could tell he was assuming it was for him. But, it wasn't filled with malice or cockiness, but instead a sense of gratitude for you caring for him. Unlucky for him, you were actually here for your loving boyfriend.

"Here to watch the race," Yet for some reason, you felt nervous to say boyfriend. Scared, as if you were cheating on Kimi by getting with Jak. But you knew you two were never together, for crying out loud he said he would never date you.

"T-that's nice..." he said, as he looked to the side, suddenly feeling embarrassed about his 9th place finish. "So, did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did," You say awkwardly fiddling with your necklace that had a "J" on it. Kimi quickly noticed it, his eyes fixated on it as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Who's J?" He said, his tone slightly angry and hurt, he felt betrayed for some odd reason - but he knew deep down he had no right. He knew how he treated you was awful.

His was running wild, filled with so many thoughts. Worried if you saw how he messed up a few times during the race and if you laughed at him. Wondering if you saw his other races and how great he did for a rookie. Wondering if you heard the rumors of him possibly moving up to F1. But most importantly: he wanted- no, he needed to know, did you miss him?

But before he get the answer to any of those, he felt his heart get crushed. As Jak came behind you, wrapping his arm over your shoulder so easily. Kimi's eyes watched as your hand naturally came up to gently hold onto Jak's hand, as if you've been doing this for months already.

And that's when it hit him: J was for Jak...

Kimi's face was wiped clean of any emotion, left completely blank inside as his eyes darted between you two. He could finally get a taste of how you felt: the only difference was that you didn't lead him on for months on end.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jak asked, he knew your past with Kimi all too well. He was one of the very few people who calmed you down from your many panic attacks whenever you saw Kimi post or even got a memory of him.

You were unsure of what to say, although you felt 10 times more comfortable with Jak around you, you still felt awkward around Kimi. But you decided to end Kimi's misery of staring at you both.

"Nothing," you say casually. You gave Jak's hand two squeezes, a secret signal you both made to tell the other that you wanted to leave in uncomfortable situations.

"Good race, Kimi." Jak said, as he patted Kimi's back extra aggressively. As you both walked away, Kimi was still left speachless.

And for the first time in ages, you didn't care how he felt.

Paul Aron | 17

Avoiding Paul was basically impossible. Although being around him made you anxious, making your blood rush from your head to your toes and your heart freeze: you were teammates and had to stay together. Luckily, you were able to avoid him for only a week due to having different schedules for media and training.

But once again, you two were forced together: something you used to be grateful for. Now you dreaded it, memories rushing in your head of how you and him having the best time ever. His words from last week kept ringing in your head, driving you insane. "It's against our contract" he said, and yet you still smelled him on your pillows at night. Although you agreed to just be friend with benefits, you couldn't handle the idea of not being Paul's, and vice versa.

You were sick of the constant yearning, you knew this relationship was holding you back from finding a true partner that cherished you and showed you off. So, with the help of your best friend, you planned an entire script of how to break things off with Paul.

It was a harsh process, ripping your guts out to even think of it. You couldn't bare the thought of losing Paul. Even though there's a high chance that you two could just stay friends, you weren't sure you'd be able to do that since you loved him. Something you were too scared to say for ages. But you felt it deep inside of you all along, even before you two became friends with benefits.

The only reason you stayed as his fuck-partner for so long was in fear that you'd ruin your teamwork, but also because you were mortified that this would be all of Paul that you could get. You kept quiet for so long just to keep him beside you, even if you wanted more. Because in your mind, you were grateful for even a crumb of him.

As you and Paul were forced to film a quick video, you put on the facade that everything was okay. As if you didn't fight back tears in whilst doing your makeup because of how anxious you were. As if you didn't have snot run down your face as you cried to your best friend about how much you loved him, not caring that he only saw you for your body.

After the video finished, you walked towards your drivers room in a haste. Your driver room and Paul's room were directly next to each other, you wanted to avoid him as much as possible until you felt fully ready to break things off with him.

It was eating you alive, you couldn't even focus on the room around you. Your engineers and mechanics called your name, but you didn't bat an eye, unable to even decipher what they were saying. It was as if you were in a trance, unable to break free from the spell.

But as you walked into your drivers room, you let out a small sigh of relief. Being alone was much better, the pressure of people's eyes on you quickly left your head. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the your other senses, like touch and smell, in order to calm down.

But even that was impossible. Because the entire room smelled like Paul. The scent of his slightly woodsy and masculine cologne that mixed with his natural smell was a like a high for you. The entire room felt warm, as if he standing right behind you to give you a hug. And you were right.

"Hey," Paul says lowly, scaring you as your eyes jolted open "Why'd you run out of the video?"

From the way he was smirking, the way he was reaching out for your face and waist, and the way he was looking at you with low eyes: you knew exactly what he wanted from you. But you couldn't do it anymore.

Being with him was eating you alive. Constantly leaving you unsatisfied, yearning for more. But you couldn't get more, so you kept settling for the scraps of love and affection he could give you without the official title of his "girlfriend". It was so hard to describe how you felt and why you felt it.

It's hard to not give in to what he wants, when you love him so dearly that you'd give into anything he asked for. It's hard to not love him when you remember how tenderly he loved you and held you during tough times. But it's hard to want to stay with him when you knew deep down, this wasn't healthy.

You stepped backwards, barely escaping his reach. He looked at you with a puzzled look, instantly retracting his hands. But instead of being mad or upset like most men, he instantly looked concerned.

"I'm sorry, are you not in the mood?" He said cautiously, "is everything okay?"

No, nothing is okay, I love you and yet I can't have you although you're right in front of me - is what you wanted to say. You wanted to scream how you hated yourself for letting him use you and yet you wanted you sob in his arms about how much you miss him despite him standing right there.

But instead of saying any of those thoughts, your body reacted on it's own. Tears slipped out of your eyes, too overwhelmed from the emotions of everything. You hated it, you hated how your body was ruining the perfect script you made with your best friend. But you knew it was either now or never, so you broke the silence in the room.

"I can't do this anymore, Paul." You said softly, your throat closing up as you spoke. As if your own body was rejecting your brain. "I can't..." You said as you looked down at the floor, tears fully pouring out.

He reached to comfort you, understanding what you were implying. "I uh... I'm so sorry, of course we can stop." But you could tell he didn't understand the depths of what you meant by that.

"No Paul, not just "stop" but cut this all off completely." You said as you looked him in the eyes, "I love you."

His eyes widened, taking a step back. This was the complete opposite reaction you wanted, but you predicted this was a possibility. You sighed, already able to tell that he didn't feel the same towards you. He was left speechless and yet you were left wanting to say thousands of words to him, describing in detail of how you loved every single aspect of him and how it ruined you to settle just for friend with benefits, but you couldn't.

"I know you don't feel the same.. And that's why I need space.." You said, with lots of small pauses in between to allow your sniffles and small hick-ups to come out. "I can't take this anymore. It hurts, it hurts to see you and not have you. It hurts to know I'm nothing to you when you're everything to me."

Thank God it was summer break, meaning you didn't have to face him. It was the best thing you could wish for, since you knew being around him would just have you burst out into tears. But that didn't stop you from crying still, it was impossible not to considering how deeply you fell for Paul.

But your best friend and friend group wouldn't allow you to stoop so low, so they kept you constantly busy. They uplifted you in every way possible, always reminding you that you didn't need Paul and that he's dumb for not seeing you for you. But they still kept it civil enough since they knew he was stuck as your teammate for the rest of the reason, and possibly a year or two after the season ended.

You enjoyed your summer break in California, enjoying every single part of it. From San Francisco's city life, Santa Cruz's chill beaches, and San Jose's lavish malls. It was a dream for you to do this trip with all of your friends. It was also a great opportunity for you to glow up during this time by changing your hair, getting a bunch of new clothes, finally investing in some life changing stuff (like the expensive ass Dyson hair that you always wanted and the $400 facial that made your skin look brand new).

So when your vacation was coming to an end, you couldn't help but feel dread, a huge pit in your stomach that you kept filling with distractions only grew hungrier and hungrier. With only a week left of vacation, you were forced to say goodbye to your friends and California as you traveled to Italy for your race in Monza.

They called it a "four week summer break" but it was really just a three week break, considering you needed to lock-in one week prior to the actual grand prix to prepare for the race. It made you want to scream and hide in your bed forever, but your confidence has grown within those three weeks, you were decently prepared to face Paul.

But what you weren't prepared to face was someone else, someone you've never seen before in your entire life. Some random brunette girl, she was drop dead gorgeous. Although grid girls weren't a thing anymore, you were fully convinced she must be one considering her beauty and amazing body. You walked up to her, excited to see another woman in the paddock in F2 that wasn't an engineer or mechanic.

As you took steps towards her, someone beat you to it: Paul Aron. And as if luck suddenly turned his back against you, you watched as Paul's hand snuck around her waist. She looked towards him, her face instantly lighting up into a big smile as a soft giggle left her lips. And he copies her, giving her the same sweet smile that you knew so well.

And suddenly, that confidence was all gone. Your new hair didn't matter, new clothes weren't anything special, and that facial was for nothing. Because as you looked in front of you, you were hit with the hard truth: that you were just a body for him.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Those sweet reassurance he gave you when you felt insecure about your body, you weren't sure if he was being honest or just trying to get into your pants. The times you snuck out of practice or the paddock together, giggling from the fear of being caught, just to go get ice cream, maybe it was just him buttering you up so he could use you. When he would invite you to his DJing events and show you how to mix the audios together, placing his big hand on top of yours as he gently guided your fingers to lift and pull different levers and buttons, you assume it meant nothing to him at all.

The rest of the season went by in slow motion, as if it was torturing you with ever millisecond. Every single day felt like a chore for you, almost making you lose your love for racing entirely. After three more races in Baki, Lusail, and Yas Island, you were finally free. And this time, it wasn't a mere three weeks, but instead a full four month break.

A whole quarter of a year, and you planned to use the most of it. It took a while to regain your sanity and click back into reality. What better way to do that than to reconnect with friends in your hometown. It was just like those old cheesy rom-coms.

A busy girl heads back to her hometown to rest, and that's when she meets a sweet boy who's the exact thing she needs: calmness and stability. That's when you met your current partner, and he was all that you could imagine and more. He was basically perfect, besides from his annoying dad jokes, which you secretly loved.

He fulfilled you in every way possible, healing parts of you that you didn't even know about. His energy brought out your inner child, letting you be your true self without the mask of the media watching. He listened to everything you said, remembering every small detail you ever shared. For example, you said you used to love watching Disney as a kid, always loving the princesses - so he surprised you with tickets to Disneyland, even getting Fast Pass to ensure you got to do all of the rides you wanted.

Although your hometown was a medium-income area, he was rich due to his parents being in real estate. He was next in line to fufill the legacy, taking in tons of houses and apartments once he became of age. Which was perfect for you, the complete opposite of Formula 2. The climb to Formula 1 was always uncertain for many, only the very top percent of people were able to make it up there. So knowing that if one day Formula failed, you'd have him to fall back on.

It was as if God saw what happened between you and Paul and felt pity for you, sending him as a apology. And you accepted it, 100%.

So when the 2025 season started and you were yet again forced to be teammates with Paul, you weren't as scared or anxious as you were in 2024. Instead, you were neutral, completely over the drama since your boyfriend was able to calm you down and ground you in reality. You always thought that instead of real estate that your boyfriend should go into psychiatry, since he always knew how to help you improve yourself.

As you stepped into the paddock, saying hello to all of your engineers and mechanics for the first time in ages, you were so happy. You rediscovered your love for Formula, feeling the spark to win more than ever. It felt like home once again, the one thing you loved more than anything.

While you were chatting with your mechanics, catching up on how their winter break went, you saw Paul step in. And yet, you felt fine. Your heart didn't drop to your stomach like it did for days on end during 2024. Your eyes didn't fight back tears by batting your eyelashes a million times. Your blood felt still, your brain felt stable, and your lungs weren't crushed by a thousand bricks: you were fine around him now.

As the mechanics left, leaving you alone with Paul - you felt nothing. You felt completely neutral around him. Although he hurt you badly, ruining you for multiple months, you didn't have the guts to hate him. Because at one point in your life, he was your everything, and you realized it wasn't his fault if he didn't feel the same. Of course, how he used you and led you on was cruel, but you blamed it on the fact that you were both young and dumb. You had forgiven him, already moved on to the new chapter starting in your life.

When you and Paul were friends, you'd be chatting for hours on end about stupid topics. But now, the room was silent. For you, it was comfortable silence. But for Paul, he was shifting in his seat, bouncing his leg and biting his lip. He was looking at you, waiting for you to look back at him and say hello - but you were busy watching the clouds pass and the other teams' mechanics work on their car. Paul cleared his throat, able to tell that you wouldn't be speaking to him unless provoked.

"(Y/N)." He said, his voice sounded hoarse for some reason. When you turned to face him, you suddenly understood why - he was crying.

Instantly, you panicked, feeling as if you did something wrong. You shifted, facing him entirely as you fought the urge to wipe his tears. "Are you okay?" You asked, concerned.

He shook his head, biting his lip even harder as he rested his head in-between his hands as he began to sob. You reached besides you, grabbing tissues from a randomly convenient tissue box. Handing it to him, he used it to wipe his tears. His body was faced towards you and his head was faced away, he was hiding his red tear stained face from you.

"I..." He said slowly, gaining the courage to tour towards you and look at you. His poor posture and shaking shoulders made him look weak as he looked up at your eyes. "I'm so sorry... for everything, for being such a dick."

Unable to handle seeing him in such a fragile state, you cracked. "It's okay," You say gently, trying to ease his mind from the guilt, despite him deserving it for the Hell he put you through.

"No, no it's not okay. I was such a dick. A-And I was just, lying to everyone the whole time." He said, before he began to quickly ramble whilst slurring his words "I thought I didn't need you, that I didn't love you. So I let you go, got with some random chick, and then I realized that she wasn't what I wanted.. She was so far from it... I wanted you, I needed you. I wanted to tell you for ages but I couldn't since I felt so stupid and dumb. And then I heard you moved on, and now, now I'm-" His voice cracked, his sudden word-vomit coming to a halt as he softly said, "I'm sorry."

You could tell that it was weighing on him heavily. His obvious inner turmoil was making you emotional, finally getting the closure that you secretly needed to validate yourself. But you knew that he needed his closure too. It was going to hurt him, but you knew it needed to be done.

"I'm sorry, Paul." You said softly, grabbing another tissue as you gingerly wiped his tears away. It was as if he melted into your touch, his face gravitated towards your hand on his own. "I'm glad you see what you did wrong, but I hope you know that I'm happy now."

Arthur Leclerc | 65

After that boat ride, you and Arthur didn't see each other for a very long time. You wanted to see him, but you could tell that it would be extremely awkward if you did. He left you completely in the dark for a while, until he sent you a text. When you got his text after 3 days of no contact, you were so excited. You were crossing your fingers, hoping that maybe he'd be okay with actually dating - even though you knew this outcome was extremely unlikely.

And you were right, that outcome was basically impossible. Arthur texted you, simply stating: "I think the joke has gone on for too long, it's best if we end this fake-dating. I'm sorry (Y/N), you're great but I don't feel the same way."

He barely typed anything at all, which hurt even more. The fact that you weren't even worth a paragraph or just a few more sentences spoke thousands of words to you. You could tell that he didn't value you, that you were just a bit of fun for him to have whilst getting the convince of not dealing with all of those fangirls.

It was rough at first, but you managed to pull through. You went through all the stages of grief required to move on, from crying, screaming, begging God for a different outcome: only to be constantly met with the same ending, nothing changing.

To rub salt into the wound, fans were going crazy over your "break up". To the fans, it was as if they were watching their mom and dad divorce. They screamed and cried all over social media, making multiple sad edits. They even tried to pry into the reason for the break up, some going as far to spam you with DMs and emails, begging for an interview or at least some closure.

You denied all of these, of course, deciding that Arthur should be the one in charge of this PR disaster since he's the one that wanted the break up anyways. He settled on the fact that you two just didn't work out since you were busy with school and he was busy with racing. You scoffed at his answer, but understood it was the easiest way to let the fans and media die down.

The drama did die down, but he ruined it. Arthur got drunk at a party, celebrating his brother's excellent race week. Getting drunk wasn't the bad part, the bad part was when Arthur was filmed by his friends drunkenly saying that he never needed you and that you just "kept the hoes away". His friend group smirked and laughed.

But the media wasn't happy at all. The story went from a simple break up to a complete dumpster fire overnight. Fans were no longer begging for answers on the break up, instead they were sending you comforts and reassurance that you were lovely. Even photographers and journalists came out to support you, sharing how you were such a sweetheart to be around.

Somehow, the drama worsened even more as some mechanics and engineers got inspired by the Arthur hate train, as they began to come out with their own stories with Arthur. They shared how Arthur was sometimes difficult, using his status as Charles little brother over others. They even shared how they would notice Arthur neglect you at times in order to do his own tasks, despite the fact that you would drop everything you were doing just to serve him.

The entirety of Formula turned against him in a snap, he was now seen as the ungrateful brother and rude boyfriend. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little happy that his karma got served to him.

Luckily, you were smart and was able to make a profit off of this whole drama. Many brands each out to you to become their sponsor, offering you modeling gigs and the opportunity to film commercials. You took all of those, even beginning to share your own vlogs. The media loved your personality and how down to earth you were. Not only that, but you were extremely funny and witty, making them love you even more.

You were no longer known as Arthur's girlfriend, but instead as you. Which was amazing, meaning you'd never need to think of him much again.

That is, until he decided to do something so stupid. So so stupid, even stupider than you asking what you were with him. He flew to your country, knocked on your door, and waited outside for hours on end. You looked through your security camera, completely in denial that he was actually outside.

But he was. It was Arthur. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, you could even see small white boxed in the bouquet. They were definitely filled with expensive jewelry of some kind. He was also dragging a small wagon with him, which held even more gifts. Things ranging from adorable stuffed animals, your favorite chocolates, and every expensive thing you've ever wanted but never felt worthy enough to purchase.

You ignored him, not wanting to see him after how he led you on. You were doing so much better without him, you literally flourished the second he left your life. But he didn't care, he waited outside for hours on end. Even when it reached 11pm, he didn't care. Instead, he hopped into his car, and fell asleep.

By the time you woke up, he was waiting by your door yet again. He wasn't allowing you out of the house without hearing him out first. His stubbornness and your need to go to the grocery store finally made you step outside.

And as you opened the door, it was as if he just saw God himself. The way his eyes lit up, his lips slightly parting, and his hands instead pushing him off the ground to stand on his feet. He was in awe to see you, as if you weren't real.

"(Y/N)," He said breathless, hearing your name in his voice was so odd yet comforting. "Finally," He said with a small smirk to lighten the mood.

"What do you want?" You said, annoyed as you leaned against your door frame.

"You."

"Pfft!" You said in his face, shocked at how quickly he changed.

How he went from looking at you down in disgust as you admitted you loved him - to now being messy and dirty from sitting on your porch for almost 18 hours. It was insane to you that he could ever think that you'd want him back, especially with how happy you were now.

[nerdallwritey]

Perfect Every Time

Summary: You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?” Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly.  “What?” you matched his smile. Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.  You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.” He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks.  OR Before your party travels into the Underdark, you and Astarion catch one last sunrise together.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 7.2k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, hand job, piv sex, water sex, dirty talk, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, extra mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), Illmater's blood-stained rack Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 4 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Surprise!! I'm back with a new chapter of Beauty and the Bard! This part is shorter than the other ones (who cheered) because it morphed from a little smut scene into one that deserved its very own part. One million thanks to everyone who's read and enjoyed the series so far, it's so much fun chatting with you guys and hearing your thoughts and it truly means the world that you guys care so much about these goofs. I already have an idea for Part 5, so that will be coming soon, but I have a request to fill first! Thank you all for your patience. In the meantime, please enjoy our regularly scheduled silliness with Astarion and bard!tav :) (Thank you once again to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part was the Tiefling party!

Taglist: @a66-1, @khaleesiofthewolves, @khywren, @lollipopsandlandmines, @mizuki-nautilus - Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!

Several days had passed since the hijinxs of the Tiefling party had taken place. By now, the former refugees of the Emerald Grove were well on their way to Baldur’s Gate, the looming threat of goblins and power hungry druids far from their minds, their thoughts instead replaced with hope for new beginnings in the city. 

Just like he’d promised, Halsin had returned the next day to discuss the parasites, officially joining your party of misfits on your journey towards the Shadow Cursed Lands and Moonrise Towers. His calming presence and sage advice was a welcome addition to the group, especially given that this leadership role had been thrust upon you by the others with next to no discussion. Having Halsin around finally felt like there was a responsible adult among you. Not that you all weren’t adults, but you definitely had your… quirks. Sure, Halsin turned into a bear if he let his emotions go unchecked, but Gale was a bomb. 

As for you and Astarion, not much had really changed, you were both still yourselves, but now you openly tortured your companions with more pet names and cheek kisses and obnoxiously loud banter. Lae’zel had threatened to cleave you both in half on multiple occasions, but had yet to follow through on that threat. The others would groan loudly or avert their eyes politely.

Your days with Astarion were spent fighting side-by-side and teasing one another, and your nights were spent chatting and reading together. Aside from the physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability that came with being in a new relationship, it was really as if nothing had changed. And those were small prices to pay for where you currently found yourself: wrapped together with a trancing Astarion.

Ever since the Tiefling party, Astarion would worm his way into your tent at night. Whether he asked permission, or stayed a little too late into the night reading or talking or drinking from you; you would never ask him to leave. You’d slept together every night, sometimes beside each other, and other nights wrapped in each others’ arms. You were allowing Astarion to set the pace, as you were in no rush to get anywhere in particular. You simply enjoyed his company and his magnetic presence. 

The pair of you hadn’t been too intimate since the party, barring stolen and sometimes steamy kisses. That was plenty for you, and Astarion continued checking in to see if you were okay with his touches and advances. Whenever you assured him that you were, he’d smile and return to your lips. You never asked him for more than he was willing to give, and even though you knew he wouldn’t say anything about it, you could tell he appreciated the courtesy despite the smug mask he so often wore.

Now, you found yourself stroking your hands through his hair as he tranced on your bare chest, breathing quietly; a habit he told you he’d picked up to look more alive when prowling the Gate. 

It was funny, honestly, how sweet and unassuming he looked when he wasn’t fully conscious. And yet, you knew the kind of violence and debauchery and bad jokes he enacted and adored when he was awake. A small sound escaped his lips and you paused in caressing his hair to make sure you weren’t waking him. When his breathing returned to normal, you resumed raking your fingers soothingly over his scalp. 

The hour was a little before dawn. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, knowing that today was the day your party would pack up camp and make your way into the Underdark for the foreseeable future. You’d re-emerge eventually to find the crèche Lae’zel knew to be nearby, but the Underdark was worth investigating for the sake of further answers about the tadpoles and a possible alternate route into the Shadow Cursed Lands. Plus, Shadowheart was adamant about seeing the rumored temple to Shar hidden down there.

All that to say, you and your companions wouldn’t be seeing the sun for quite a while. The thought saddened you immensely, knowing how much the man trancing on you would miss it terribly. How cruel, you thought, that your adventure was leading Astarion back into the shadows after he’d just gotten a taste of the sun for the first time in centuries. 

“Why are you awake, my darling?” came Astarion’s raspy voice from the dark. He shifted his head to look up at you, his grip around your midsection tightening a bit, his eyes heavy with grogginess.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you admitted. “You should get a little more if you can.”

Astarion chuckled. “Too busy thinking about me to sleep? I wouldn’t blame you.”

You sighed. “And if I was?”

Astarion’s face fell a little. “Why the hells would you allow yourself to lose sleep on my behalf, pet?” His voice was soft and one of his hands unwrapped itself from your body, taking your hand, and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of your fingers. He cleared his throat. “I mean, obviously I can understand why,” he tried deflecting the sweetness that had seeped into his words by injecting his tone with fake bravado.

You let out an amused breath and allowed your hand in his hair to continue petting him gently. “I want to watch the sunrise with you again this morning.”

Astarion hummed. “And that kept you awake?”

“I didn’t want to oversleep.”

Now it was Astarion’s turn to let out an amused breath. “You could have asked. I would have woken you up.”

“No you wouldn’t, you keep letting me sleep in. It’s like you enjoy watching me sleep or something, you creep.” You poked his nose playfully.

“It’s just amazing how much drool someone of your stature can produce.”

You smacked the side of his head and he laughed softly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while before you decided to speak again.

“This will be the last sunrise we see for a while.”

Astarion let out a long sigh and remained silent. After a moment, he said, “I know.” 

He sounded sad. 

“It’s not forever, though,” you assured, moving your hand to stroke his cheek and regaining his attention.

He chuckled. “I know that, too.”

You yawned, a little more loudly than you meant to. “Good. I promise you’ll see the sun again.”

Astarion tsked. “Honestly, darling, did you get no sleep at all?”

“I got a little,” you lied.

He held your gaze, lifting a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“What does it matter?” you asked, caught. “I can handle a little lack of sleep.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and sat up to look at you more directly. “It matters because we need you alert. None of us knows what awaits us in the Underdark and I- we can’t have you getting hurt because you didn’t get enough rest!”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, bending upwards to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Besides, I’ll have you to protect me when I get sloppy.”

Astarion groaned. “You shouldn’t get sloppy,” he complained. “I swear, if you somehow hold us back down there, I’ll slaughter you myself.”

“Promise?”

He groaned again. “Would you, just once, allow me to threaten you seriously?”

“No,” you patted his cheek lovingly. 

He sighed and pushed some of his mussed hair out of his face. He took your hands in his. “Just… stay vigilant, alright?”

“Can do,” you said, withholding another obvious yawn.

“I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

He shook his head at you and sat up fully, stretching his arms above his head and giving you a clear view of the scar on his back. You sat up and kissed his bare shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeated.

“Mhm.” Astarion passed you one of his shirts. “Come on, darling, let’s get a move on.” He tossed on a spare shirt and watched you as you pulled his shirt over your head. 

“There’s still a little time before sunrise,” you said.

Astarion snorted and fixed some of your hair that was sticking up from putting on his shirt. “You could stay here if you want. Drown in your own drool. Up to you.”

You huffed at him, making him laugh again.

“Only joking, my love.”

“Sure,” you said, opening the flaps of your tent and crawling out into the blue that preceded dawn.

You went to stand, but felt Astarion’s cool fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you back. He turned you slightly and caught your lips in a kiss, one that wiped away whatever fake ire you had towards him and replaced it with a dopey grin. 

“What was that for?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Delicious,” he breathed, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

You laughed and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”

You’d only been able to catch two more sunrises with Astarion following the one you watched the morning after you’d slept together for the first time. You’d woken up once on your own after Astarion gently shifted himself away from you, and another time when he woke you up purposely, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. You’d whine and moan whenever he let you sleep in, despite the fact that it was probably for the best to keep you in tip top shape for fighting and recharging your magic. He’d always find his way back to you, and you knew he needed his own space sometimes, but you still loved to watch him bask in the golden light of the morning and you couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed whenever you felt his gentle hand on your back before opening your eyes and seeing that the sun was already up.

Astarion led you through the forest again, his hand holding yours firmly. You knew your way to the ravine lookout by now, but you liked not having to take the lead for once. He helped you across the little stream that led into the clearing where you first laid together and you felt your cheeks flush at the memory.

“I can hear your heart picking up speed, darling.” He turned to smirk at you. “You’re adorable.”

“Pardon me for still being shy,” you half-joked.

“Mmm,” Astarion hummed. “I’ll pound that out of you eventually.” He furrowed his brow sensually at you and you scoffed.

“Shut up.”

“I, of course, don’t have to-”

You made a whiny sound and he laughed.

“I know, my love,” he said, removing his hand from yours and instead wrapping his arm around you to pull you close. “You’ve been so patient for me,” he nipped at your earlobe. “So good.” 

“I’m in no rush,” you reassured on a shaky exhale. 

Astarion made his own whiny sound and pulled you closer, leading you to the cliff’s edge where he’d opened up to you willingly for the first time, just a few days ago.

He sat, pulling you down with him, far enough away from the edge, where he knew you wouldn’t be nervous of falling. In the distance, the sky was just starting to indicate the sun’s arrival. 

You sighed happily and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense a little. “Is this alright?” 

Instead of answering, he leaned his head on top of yours. 

“What’s something you want to do in the Underdark?” you probed.

Astarion groaned. “You don’t need to make small talk with me, darling, sometimes silence is golden.”

You scrunched your nose, knowing he hated pure silence. “I wasn’t being polite, I genuinely wanted to know.”

He groaned again. “Even worse.”

You laughed lightly and felt him laugh too, his arm gently shaking against your own. 

He thought for a moment before he responded. “That Zhentarim fellow we met mentioned a cache of supplies hidden somewhere down there. That might be fun to pillage.”

You laughed. “I’m surprised you ever stopped thinking about that!”

“Oh I didn’t, but I wanted you to think your little thought experiment had actually evoked some sort of… thought… in me.” He made a face.

“Want to try and rephrase that?”

“Not particularly.”

You hummed fondly, taking one of his hands in your own and examining how your fingers slotted together just so. 

“I suppose you want me to ask you the same question?” Astarion asked, clearly not wanting to ask.

You laughed. “Your interest in my interests always astounds me, Astarion.”

He rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. “Get better interests and I might actually want to pay attention.”

“Rude,” you muttered, a smile on your face. “But since you so desperately want to know, I’ll answer anyway.”

“Oh, goodie.”

You thought about it. There wasn’t actually all that much you knew about the Underdark, aside from the few mentions of it in the books you’d read growing up. One thing did stick out in your mind.

“Singing mushrooms.”

“........What?”

“I read somewhere that apparently there are colonies of sentient mushroom people who communicate through song.”

Astarion pulled his head off of yours to hang it in front of himself instead, groaning loudly. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It’s not! It’s fascinating!”

“Sentient mushrooms?”

“Yes.”

“That sing?”

“Yes.”

Astarion shook his head. “Am I still asleep? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m not making it up!” you exclaimed incredulously. When he didn’t say anything else, you crossed your arms in front of yourself. “We’re going to see the mushrooms.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” He kissed the top of your head almost pityingly. 

“You’re an ass,” you said, pulling away from him and sitting back on your forearms. The sky was turning a faint pinkish orange in the distance. You snickered to yourself. “More like Ass-starion.”

The ass in question scowled. “That will not be one of your pet names for me.”

You shrugged. “I’m surprised no one’s called you that before.”

“I’ve been called far worse.” Astarion tilted his head up pompously, as if nothing you could say would hurt him.

“Okay great, so ‘Ass’ is nothing new.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s like you want me to throw you off the cliff.”

“Go ahead,” you challenged, catching his eye mischievously, knowing his threat was empty. 

Astarion looked at you and then towards the horizon. He inhaled deeply and rose to his feet. 

“What are you doing?” you laughed nervously as he approached the cliff’s edge that gave way into the ravine below. 

He peered over the edge, his brow furrowed in deep thought. 

You shifted uncomfortably and sat up completely straight. “Astarion, please be careful, you’re making me nervous.”

He ignored you and walked along the edge, looking past a batch of trees and into the distance to your right. He nodded and turned back towards where you sat.

“Up you go,” Astarion approached you and gestured his thumb upwards, indicating that he wanted you to stand. When he reached you, he helped you to your feet.

“You’re not actually going to throw me off the cliff, are you?” You kept your tone playful, but the anxiety you were masking was obvious.

Astarion smirked. “Stop annoying me and I won’t have to.”

You rolled your eyes and began to follow him as he started walking to the right, down a slanted slope and into a patch of trees. 

“What’s happening?” you asked when you caught up with him.

Astarion tilted his head. “I just thought an occasion such as this needed a change of scenery.”

“‘Occasion?’” you echoed.

He nodded. “It’s my last day in the sun-” he saw you about to protest and quickly added, “-for a little while. Might as well start the day off right.”

You hummed. “Why do I get the sense that you’re up to something?”

Astarion stopped in his tracks, a hand held to his unbeating heart in mock offense. “Me? Up to something? You’re far too paranoid, darling.”

“Uh huh.” You kept walking, but quickly realized you didn’t actually know where you were going. You looked back at Astarion for help and found him watching you. 

He rolled his eyes affectionately. “This way, dear, it’s not much farther.” He walked past you, deeper into the trees, and kept talking. “Did you know that that ravine we’ve been sitting above gives way into what I can only assume is either the Chianthar or the Sea of Swords?”

“I didn’t,” you said. “Though those are two very different bodies of water.”

“Give me a break, my geography lessons occurred well over 200 years ago. And we’re in the gods damn middle of nowhere, might I remind you.”

“Mhm,” you affirmed with a smile. “Go on.”

“Well, it just so happens that that ravine’s mouth isn’t far from our little sunrise spot.”

“‘Our?’” you teased.

“Focus, darling,” he said. He turned to the left, leading you back towards the cliff’s edge that had continued along the treeline.

“Astarion, please be careful,” you called after him, hesitantly following him towards the sound of rushing water. 

He turned back and held out a steadying hand for you as you approached the edge. Not too far below you were narrow rapids that gradually became calmer. The cliff that had been on the other side of the one you currently found yourself on had disappeared, forming a mouth where the ravine did in fact empty into a much larger, much calmer, body of water.

You wrapped your arms around Astarion’s middle to anchor yourself and leaned forward a little to see where the cliff you were on ended. A little farther down, you squinted to adjust your eyes to the dim lighting, and saw a tiny beach that quickly shot upwards into a new cliff. Rocks surrounded the shore, keeping it slightly out of view, and gentle waves lapped at the sand, far enough away from the rapids of the ravine to remain serene.

You caught Astarion’s eye and pointed towards the small patch of sand in the distance. “Is that where we’re going?”

Astarion pursed his lips. “Yes, that would be much easier than jumping in, wouldn’t it?”

You scoffed. “You expected me to jump in from this high up? There could be rocks we can’t see! And we don’t know how deep it is!”

Astarion sighed. “You’re no fun. Though I suppose you’re right, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” With your arms still around his middle, he started walking back into the trees and down towards the tiny beach. 

You laughed as he dragged you along. “You can’t possibly be serious. You’d get your hair all wet!”

“Nobody said I was going to jump in with you,” he teased.

“I’m not going in alone,” you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Pity,” he tutted. “I like it when you’re wet.” He smirked and you shoved yourself away from him. 

You picked up your pace to put distance between the two of you. When you didn’t hear his footsteps gaining on you, you decided to quickly slip behind a tree, hoping you’d lost him and that you’d be able to jump out to scare him as he sauntered past.

Unfortunately, nothing but silence greeted you. After a heartbeat or two, you peered around the trunk of your hiding spot but saw no sign of his sleek frame or shock of white hair. You started to second guess yourself; was it possible he’d passed you already? Or that he stopped, out of sight for some reason? 

“You’ll have to do better than that, darling,” came his voice softly next to your ear.

You yelped and clutched at your heart, which raced with surprise. 

Astarion sighed happily. “I do love the sound of your blood pumping.”

“How do you do that?” you asked, breathing deeply to calm yourself. 

“Years of practice.” He paused. “Centuries, even.”

You conceded with a nod. “I shouldn’t have even tried.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. The effort was hardly there, either.”

“Alright,” you rolled your eyes and continued on through the trees down to the beach.

“I mean honestly, have these weeks on the road with me taught you nothing about stealth?”

“I play music for a living. My job is making noise.”

“And I don’t know why I even try at this point.” He raised his eyebrows playfully.

“You like my noise,” you said, sing-songingly. 

“You’re loud, I’ll give you that.”

It was then that you emerged from the trees and onto a grassy dune that sloped downward onto the flat sand below. You slid down the dune with as much grace as you could muster, only falling on your ass once, before taking off your shoes and sinking your toes into the cool sand that made up the shoreline. Astarion followed after you, his long strides keeping him upright and as elegant as ever. He came to stand next to you, taking his own shoes off and placing them neatly beside yours.

You exhaled wistfully and grabbed Astarion’s bicep, leaning your head onto his shoulder. From here, you had a clear view of the sun on the horizon. The sky was a deep shade of pink, giving way to golds and oranges the closer you watched. You looked at Astarion, whose eyes were focused on the sunrise in the distance. 

“What are you thinking about?” you asked quietly.

Astarion looked over at you and blinked. Then he smiled. “Just that it’s truly a wonder you’ve made it this far in life.”

“What?!” you exclaimed, shocked and amused.

You could tell he was holding in a laugh. “You are inept at hiding and fall down sand dunes. What were we thinking when we started following you around Faerûn?”

“I’ll push you into the water, pretty boy.”

“I’d pull you in with me, my love.”

“Touché,” you smiled and released his arm, sitting on the sand. You pulled your legs to your chest and rested your cheek on your knee. Around you, reeds and tall grass swayed in the morning breeze. Astarion remained standing, watching the horizon. 

As much as you enjoyed watching the sunrise, you enjoyed watching Astarion watch it more. The way his attention became transfixed on the sky, the way the vibrant light painted itself onto him like a blank canvas, the way his entire body relaxed when the warmth of the sun finally reached his skin. 

You heard him sigh and watched as he walked forward a little, allowing the tiny waves rolling off the water to rush gently over his toes. He flinched a little in shock and you let out an affectionate breath through your nose.

“Cold?” you asked.

“You know, it’s funny,” Astarion said, his voice a million miles away. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to move through water like this.”

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brow. “I’ve seen you in the lake at camp before.”

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t given it too much thought until now. Normally, I can’t move through running water like this. Don’t ask me why, it’s one of those idiotic vampire laws dictated by some ancient devil with an infuriating sense of humor. I can bathe, sure, but I haven’t been proper swimming since… before.”

You stayed quiet as he moved further into the water, letting the waves wash over his ankles.

“I have to imagine I knew how to swim at one point,” he said quietly.

“I could teach you,” you offered. “I was going to teach Shadowheart at some point too. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

Astarion snorted. “And look like a fool in front of the cleric? I’ll pass.”

“You don’t need swim lessons to look like a fool,” you clarified. 

“Ha ha,” he said humorlessly. 

You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?”

Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly. 

“What?” you matched his smile.

Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. 

You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.”

He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks. 

“Oh,” you said, stiffly watching him undress. “Should I-?” you awkwardly pulled at the collar of his shirt that was currently resting on your shoulders. 

He straightened, naked but for his underwear. He frowned a little. 

“You don’t have to do anything, my love. I just thought we might have some fun while watching the sunrise.”

You bit your bottom lip, thinking it over. “I do like fun.”

“I know that about you.” Astarion walked towards you and reached for the hem of your shirt. “May I?”

You nodded and lifted your arms to help. He took the shirt and tossed it over to where he’d discarded his own clothes. He stepped closer to you, pulling you to him so that you were chest to chest, and nuzzled his nose into the area where your neck met your shoulder. He placed a slow, gentle kiss there that had you inhaling sharply and exhaling unevenly. He groaned with need before pulling back and readjusting to kiss your lips. He came at it with more force than you were expecting, causing you to stumble back a little, but his hands firmly gripped your biceps, keeping you steady. You suppressed a giggle and instead smiled against his mouth before opening up for him and allowing his tongue to meet yours. Astarion hummed with pleasure, moving his mouth against yours and bringing his hands up to tangle in your hair. When he finally pulled away, he left one more chaste kiss against your lips before fully pulling back. 

His eyes were alight with something that morphed into joy when he saw the gooey grin on your face. He rolled his eyes affectionately before looking you up and down and exhaling a laugh.

“You are perfect,” he said, almost in awe.

You smiled. “When?”

Astarion pulled you closer, his eyes narrowing seductively. “Every time.”

You snickered and pulled away from him, a teasing grin plastered on his face. You bent to remove your own pants and watched to see what Astarion would do next. When you saw him reach for his underwear, you averted your eyes and heard him laugh.

“Nothing new over here, darling,” he said, and the soft splashing sounds that followed indicated he’d walked into the water.

“I know,” you replied, embarrassed. You turned back towards him and shrugged. “Habit, I guess.”

“Well, cut it out,” he called, now knee deep in the water. His body was rigid from the temperature, his shoulders rising up to his ears. He turned back to look back at you, still standing on the shore. “Illmater’s blood-stained RACK, this is cold!” 

“I don’t know what you expected,” you called back, hugging your arms to your chest and trying to convince yourself to brave the frigid waters and join him.

“I rather expected you would be in here with me to keep me warm,” he said, turning back towards the sunrise ahead of him.

You quickly pulled off your underwear and started walking into the water, tensing at the cold, but willing yourself to keep going. 

“If you wanted my blood, you could have just asked,” you said when you finally reached him.

“There you are, darling,” Astarion said and grabbed your hand. 

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Brace yourself,” he tipped his head forward a little.

“What?”

Without warning, Astarion lowered himself into the water so that it was just below his shoulders, and pulled you down with him. You hadn’t expected to be yanked so forcefully and unsurprisingly lost your footing. You plunged downward, reaching your free hand out to break your fall and ended up dunking your face below the surface. You were submerged for less than a second, but you came up sputtering and made eye contact with a gleeful vampire. He sucked in his lips to keep from laughing.

“And what was that?” you asked blandly, flicking wet tendrils of hair out of your face.

“Apologies, darling, I didn’t mean for you to get your pretty hair all wet,” he pouted at you and sounded less than sympathetic. 

“Uh huh,” you narrowed your eyes at him. You crawled closer to him, made weightless by the water, and sat beside him, the water level reaching slightly higher on your chest than his. You scooted back a little and dragged your arm out behind you. You pushed it forward quickly, creating a splash that soaked the back of Astarion’s head. He instantly hunched forward and yelped. 

“How dare you?!” he exclaimed, his curls flattening and falling partially into his face. 

“Whoops,” you shrugged. Your eyes widened when you saw him wind his own arm back in retaliation and quickly dunked your head below the surface to avoid his onslaught of water.

When you reemerged, you heard Astarion snicker.

“Look at that,” he said, his tone mocking, “you’re all wet for me.”

You wasted no time in splashing him directly in the face.

“Let’s not do this,” he said flatly, his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to wipe the water off his face, even though his hands were equally wet.

“But now you’re all wet for me,” you teased. 

“I’ll show you what I am,” Astarion growled and took your hand underwater. He pulled you closer and led your hand to his cock, which was already rigid with desire, despite the temperature of the water. 

You made eye contact with him as you started pumping your hand up and down his shaft and he hissed out a breath. 

“Easy, darling,” he said shakily. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, close to his ear. “Don’t you want to cum while watching the sunrise?”

Astarion groaned and you moved your hand up to swipe your thumb across his tip and then back down to continue pumping. You lifted your weightless body up and swung your leg around so that you were sitting between his legs, facing him head on with the sunrise at your back. 

“I know what would make you even harder,” you cooed, wiping wet hair out of his face with your free hand. Instead of finishing the thought, you tilted your head to the side, offering up your neck to him. 

Astarion’s eyes, half lidded with lust, went wide and looked at you. You nodded to him, and he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing your throat feverishly upon contact. Your hand was still wedged between your legs, twisting around Astarion’s length. He moaned as he nosed along your throat for where your pulse thrummed the strongest.

“Thank you,” he said before sinking his fangs into you. 

You let out a moan of your own, your mouth falling open as goosebumps broke out along your arms. The cold water mixed with the ice in your veins created a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. The hand pumping Astarion’s length started to slow as you felt yourself focusing instead on the satisfyingly dull thrum that came with him drinking from you. 

“Don’t stop,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your throat and licking a few wayward drops of blood that had escaped before returning to his meal.

You made a noise of affirmation and squeezed his dick before continuing to twist your hand up and down, from base to tip and back down again. 

Astarion whined lamely and dug his nails into your scalp and shoulder, which in turn made you moan wantonly. You rolled your hips, trying to find some relief of your own and ended up brushing your clit against the base of his cock. You both groaned in pleasure and you brought your free hand up to tangle into his hair as you continued rolling your hips. 

“Hah,” Astarion huffed sweetly as he pulled himself away from your throat, his cool breath made warm by your blood. He licked at the wounds he left behind and kissed them gratefully before angling his head to kiss your mouth deeply.

The metallic tang of your blood on his tongue sent a chill through your body and you opened your eyes when you felt Astarion’s hands make their way to your hips. You broke the kiss to give him a curious look. 

He returned your look with a blissed out smirk. “I want you to ride me,” he drawled. 

Your eyes widened and the hand that was still working his cock slowed to a stop. 

He surged forward to kiss you again and moved his hands to your ass, where he lifted your weightless form to position you over his length. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I thought I was close to getting you off.”

“You were, sweet girl, but I’d much rather finish inside, if it’s all the same to you.”

Your lips quirked up. “I think we can make that work.”

Taking his cock into your hand again, you guided the head to your entrance before sinking down on him slowly. Astarion’s eyes closed in satisfaction and he tipped his head up to the sky, golden light painting his beautiful face into something ethereal. You sucked in a breath and rested your forehead on his shoulder, taking a second to adjust to this new sensation. You hadn’t ridden him yet, nor had you ever fooled around in water, by yourself or otherwise. 

Astarion kissed your ear before encouraging you: “Use me, my love. You’re deliciously warm.”

You nodded and tested lifting yourself up a little and bringing yourself back down. Your mouth dropped open and you adjusted your legs so you were resting on your knees, making it easier to bob on his dick. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you lifted yourself higher and brought yourself down with more force.

“That’s it,” Astarion cooed, “take your pleasure from me.”

“Touch me,” you whined, rolling your hips and picking up the pace of your bouncing.

“With pleasure,” he bent forward to kiss your neck, bringing his hand down to circle your clit. His other hand came up to squeeze your breast. 

“You make me feel so good,” you sighed, raking your nails over the ridges on his back.

“The feeling is mutual, d-arling,” his voice caught when you brought yourself down on his cock. “And I’m the only one who can make you feel this good,” he grazed his fangs across your collarbone. 

“I don’t know,” you said, your body shuddering with euphoria, “Halsin seems like he could give you a run for your money.”

Astarion raised a disbelieving eyebrow at you.

“Teasing, my love,” you kissed him softly before letting out a loud “Ah!” when he started raising his hips to meet yours.

“Oh really?” he asked, his voice coming out like a growl. “You think Halsin could fuck you as well as I can?”

“Hah,” you half laughed, half moaned. “I think technically, in this position, I’m fucking you?” A lopsided grin graced your lips. “But I don’t know, I’m new to all this.”

“Funny,” Astarion remarked sarcastically and pulled his hand away from your clit, making you whimper in protest. 

“Hey!”

“Take it back.”

“Take what back? I already said I was teasing!”

“Say I’m the only one who can fuck you like this.”

You smiled, panting and still riding him beneath the surface of the water. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Hardly,” he rolled his eyes. “But you’re mine and it wouldn’t kill you to remind yourself of that.”

“Sounds an awful lot like jealousy to me.”

Astarion groaned in what sounded like frustration and pleasure. “Do you want to cum or not?” 

You leaned forward and kissed him deeply, moving your mouth slowly in time with the rhythm of your hips. When you pulled away, a string of saliva connected you to his lower lip. 

“Astarion,” you said softly, “I don’t ever want anyone else to fuck me. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me.”

The smirk on Astarion’s face was smug. “Because?”

You rolled your eyes. “Because I’m yours, you stupid bat.” You kissed him, then whispered conspiratorially, “And I like you the most out of everyone at camp.”

“You flatter me,” Astarion said, immediately returning to his ministrations on your clit. You gasped at the contact, which quickly morphed into a moan of delight as you rested your forehead on his shoulder again. His hips rose to meet yours once more and the moan he let out as a result sounded as if he’d been holding it in for a while. Perhaps it was to sound eloquent during your back and forth, but the noise was music to your ears.

“Am I making you feel good?” you asked a little shyly.

Astarion opened one of his eyes to look at you. “My sweet, you’ve only ever made me feel good.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“It’s not, but it is true about the sex.”

“Thank the gods,” you laughed, though you shut your eyes tightly when Astarion hit a particularly pleasant spot inside you with a roll of his hips. “Whatever you just hit felt heavenly,” you relayed to him.

“Good to know,” he said mischievously, and repositioned you on his lap so he could rise to meet that spot every time you sank down on him. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you sighed, a grin overtaking your features.

“You like that, love?” he nipped at your shoulder. 

“Yes,” you sighed again.

Your bounces on his cock were starting to become sloppy as the knot of your climax began to build low in your stomach. You moved your hand to his and reversed the direction he was currently circling your clit.

“I’m close,” you confessed.

“Thank the gods, so am I,” Astarion’s voice was strained.

You opened your eyes to watch him as he approached his own peak and exhaled dreamily at the sight of him, bathed in the orange glow of the sun which was now halfway risen. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, “and I like you so much.”

“Don’t make me throw up when I’m trying to cum,” he opened up an eye and smirked at you. “You’re not half bad yourself, gorgeous thing.” He groaned when you sat back down on him forcefully. “Now, would you cum for me already? I’m dying here.”

“Almost there,” you laughed. “And you’re dead already.”

“You’re making this very difficult, darling.”

“Let me help you then,” you said, reaching a hand forward and lightly caressing his balls.

Astarion’s mouth hung open in silent pleasure, his fangs glistening in the emerging sunshine. He watched you wordlessly as you leaned forward.

“You’re so powerful,” you purred next to his ear. “You make me feel so good, and you’re the only one who can fuck me this well. The others will never know how good I feel because I’m yours and I’ll only ever be yours. You’re the only one who will ever be inside of me.”

“That’s right,” he groaned. “Your cunt is mine and I love the way it feels around me. The way it grips me so tight. You filthy thing, letting a vampire take your innocence. I could have killed you and instead I brought you the most pleasure you’ve ever felt. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you moaned. “Astarion, please. Need to feel your cum in me.”

“You want this cock forever, darling? Prove it. Prove you want it by cumming for me and screaming my name.”

His command brought you to your peak and you wailed out in pure ecstasy. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, over and over, and your cunt gripped him like a vice, as if claiming it for itself. In return, Astarion groaned loudly and spilled inside of you, moaning your name repeatedly and throwing his head back in rapture and delight.

As you came down from your high, you leaned forward to place sloppy kisses on his exposed throat. He brought both his arms around you and pulled you closer as he returned from his climax. 

“You are-” he didn’t finish his sentence before crushing his lips into yours, moaning pathetically and you giggled in response. He bit your bottom lip with his blunt front teeth before releasing it and peppering kisses along your cheeks and jaw. 

“Go on,” you teased, encouraging him to finish his thought.

He looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead gave in and said, “You’re wonderful.”

The words caught you off guard and you bent forward to kiss him in a way that you hoped conveyed your gratitude. 

“I think you’re wonderful, too.”

“Obviously,” Astarion smirked.

You pushed him backwards, causing him to slip and submerge his head fully underwater briefly.

“My hair was just starting to dry, you wretched beast!” he sputtered, looking appalled. 

“Aw, but you’re so pretty like this!” You brushed some wet hair out of his eyes.

“Um, hello? I’m always pretty, darling.”

“Ah, you’re right, how could I forget.” You gingerly lifted yourself off of Astarion and floated yourself to sit beside him, facing the sunrise. 

“Perhaps you’ve had the lovely head of yours hit in battle one too many times.”

“That must be it,” you agreed jokingly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

He leaned his head on top of yours in return. You sighed happily, enjoying the vibrant hues of the sky above, still filled with the euphoria of your high and the presence of the man beside you.

“I really do like you, so much,” you said softly, accompanied by the quiet lapping of the waves on the shore nearby.

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned. “Let’s not get sentimental, darling. After we just had such an excellent time together.”

You laughed. “Pardon me for wanting to express my feelings.”

“You are pardoned.” He gave you a sideways smile. 

“Thank you, Mr. Magistrate.”

“Of course, beloved citizen.”

You both laughed quietly and returned to a pleasant silence. The sun rose steadily up into the sky and you knew you’d have to head back to camp soon to help pack up, but for now, you were content to sit and watch the horizon with your favorite traveling companion. 

“How are you doing that?” Astarion asked, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?”

“Tickling my thighs. Did you cast mage hand or something of the sort?”

You sat up a bit more to look and snorted. 

“Astarion, my love, I think it’s a fish that’s tickling you.”

“Ah,” he said calmly. Then he shot up, flinging you backwards and underwater. When you came up for air, he was rushing towards the shore, barreling through the water.

“At least it had the decency to wait until we were finished!” you called after him.

Astarion ignored you. “Slimy, disgusting, vile creatures!” He shook out his entire body as if he couldn’t rid himself of the sensation.

You watched him with adoration as he muttered to himself about how irredeemable that particular fish was as he pulled on his pants. It was then that you felt your heart swell with something big and alarming.

Oh no.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck!

[lyjen]

In The Right Place Part 2 | Evan “Buck” Buckley

Summary: Buck’s recklessness frustrates (Y/n), but later he saves her during a call. Afterward, they open up about their pasts, growing closer than ever before.

Trope: Enemies to lovers

Feel free to send in a request in my “Ask me a question 👀” section! 🫶🏽

9-1-1 Masterlist | <<< Previous Chapter

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The 118 arrived at the location the 9-1-1 caller had passed through. They were at the edge of a deep, rocky ravine where the hiker had slipped and fallen. The dispatcher told the team the man was injured, but clinging to a narrow ledge half way down. 

It was a miracle the hiker could call for help, the reception wasn’t that good in the middle of nowhere, and most of the people that fall half way down a ravine, don’t survive. 

The doors of the firetruck opened as the team got out of the vehicle. The dust was flowing around the scene, from the sandy road beneath the tires of the truck. 

Bobby took one look at the scene they were working with, and turned to the team. “We’re going with a rope rescue.” Captain Nash said the second he scanned the situation. “Buck, you’re our climber. (Y/n), you and Eddie handle the lines. Chim and Hen, prep medical gear.” He continued, certain of his choices. 

It has been exactly two weeks since (Y/n) had joined the team, and she could say with certainty that the 118 was slowly starting to feel like home, like it felt back in Long Beach. She was starting to get to know the rest of the team everyday a little bit more, and the other way around. 

(Y/n) nodded as her Captain was done giving everyone their tasks and moved to secure the rope system as Buck fished the harness from the truck and slipped into it with practiced ease. 

“You good to go?” Eddie asked as he finished tightening Buck’s gear. A grin appeared on Buck’s face. “I was born ready” he said with way too much confidence, making (Y/n) roll her eyes at his typical reaction. “Of course you were.” she muttered under her breath, continuing preparing the ropes.

The words left her mouth a little too loud. Buck looked up at her, catching the words and the tone. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, raising a brow at her words. 

“It means..” she started as she lowered the ropes in her hands and glanced over her shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid” she snapped as she glared at him from her spot at the ropes. 

Buck’s grin vanished from his face and he sighed. “Relax, (Y/n). I’ve done this a million times.” he said, trying to reassure her that everything was okay. 

“That’s what worries me.” She shot back as she tightened her hands on the rope. She hoped those words came out of her mouth as a mumble, but it came a little louder than she had hoped. She knew he heard her words. 

Ever since she had that conversation on the first day with Buck, things had changed just a little bit. They were still trying to find out a way to work together, but it was difficult working with someone who didn’t think for at least one second. 

Moments later, Buck was carefully being lowered over the edge of the ravine, as the rope creaked softly because of the weight that was hanging on it. From her spot on the ground, (Y/n) watched him descend down to the victim. Her eyes were flicking between Buck and the rope system as Eddie monitored the lines beside her. 

“Slow and steady, Buck.” Eddie said into the radio as Buck was out of sight, rippling down to get the wounded hiker. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve got it.” Buck’s voice sounded as confident as always. Making (Y/n) roll her eyes at the amount of confidence he had in his voice. “Just focus for once.” She mumbled under her breath as the rope gently moved through her gloved hands.

Buck could feel the jitters in his abdomen, even though he had done this a hundred times, if not more. When his feet touched the small space where the hiker landed after his fall, he didn’t want to put too much weight onto the ground to avoid the ground falling from beneath them.  

“What’s your name sir?” Buck asked as he grabbed the second harness that was sent down. “I- Uh- Luther” the hiker stumbled as he was unsure what was happening. “Luther, I’m Buck. I’m going to get you out of here okay?” he explained. Luther nodded in agreement, but Buck could tell he was scared. “Okay, now.. I need you to stand up slow and steady and let me put this around you.” 

Luther nodded as he slowly stood up, his legs were looking like they were made of jell-o. Every step the hiker made, how slowly and steady he did it, it made the ledge crumble beneath him. Rocks were breaking loose with every single short move he made and tumbling down into the ravine. If something did go wrong this moment, there would be no turning back. But luckily Luther stepped into the harness, as Buck secured him and stabilized him. 

“Got him!” Buck called out, but just to be sure he grabbed his radio. “We’re ready to come up! Green!” his voice came through. A soft sigh left (Y/n)’s mouth as she heard the confirmation, she took a breath she didn’t know she needed. 

For once he didn’t do anything stupid. But it wasn’t over yet.

“Okay, let’s pull them up slow” Eddie instructed, signaling to (Y/n) the sign to pull the rope, to get them on solid ground again. (Y/n) held her breath again as they began raising Buck and the hiker. 

She could hear the ropes creaking under the weight that was hanging onto the other side, but the system held firm. “Almost there,” Eddie muttered as he had his hands steady on the lines, pulling it. 

The creaking of the lines became louder within every pull, making the thing (Y/n) scared of reality as a horrific snap echoed through the ravine. 

One of the anchor points failed. 

(Y/n)’s eyes widened at the sound of the snap as her heart was leaping into her throat right now. “No, no, no.” (Y/n) mumbled under her breath. The rope jerked violently, sending Buck swinging hard into the rocks. A grunt fell off Buck’s lips as his body slammed into the side of the ravine. He placed one of his hands on the rocks to bring the swinging rope to a halt. 

“Hold it! Hold it!” Bobby’s voice roared over the scene as Eddie and (Y/n) tried to get the rope back under control. “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” Eddie grunted as he used all his strength to pull the two people back in. 

(Y/n) threw her weight onto the line, placing her heels into the ground as they tried to steady Buck. “Buck talk to us” Bobby sounded over the radio. Panic was creeping into her chest as it took Buck seconds to answer. “Buck, what’s your status?” Bobby asked. 

(Y/n) had her eyes closed as she held onto the rope for dear life. The radio made room for some statics, “We’re fine cap, just.. get us up!” his voice sounded over the radio, mixed with a cough. 

Eddie glanced over his shoulder, looking at (Y/n) “You good?” Eddie asked as they made eye contact. She nodded, “Let’s get it over with.” she said as she let her eyes wander back to her gloved hands and they both pulled the ropes.

The climb was slower this time, the rope continued to creak as Eddie and (Y/n) worked together to lift Buck and the injured hiker back up. Her hands were hurting from the weight she needed to pull, but it didn’t bother her. They needed to get the both of them back on the ground. And she didn’t care if she needed to break her own skin to do it. 

It looked like there wasn't an end to the rope she had in her hands. But when Buck’s helmet finally came into sight, and his boots hit solid ground, (Y/n) let out a shaky breath and placed her hands onto her thighs. 

She was exhausted, not only from pulling the ropes, but also the stress she was experiencing the last five to ten minutes. 

Buck unhooked his harness as Hen and Chimney immediately checked the hiker. (Y/n)’s eyes were locked on Buck as she took off the gloves and yanked them to the ground. Before she could let her brain catch up with her movements, she stormed over towards Buck. 

Buck unlocked the clip of his helmet, as he heard footsteps coming closer. He looked up, and he found (Y/n) stroming over at him. Fire was burning in her eyes as she shoved him hard in the chest. 

“What the hell was that?!” she shouted, Buck’s back falling against the firetruck as confusion took over his face. “Whoa- what’s your problem?” He stumbled as he looked at her. 

“God you’re such a fucking idiot, Buck” (Y/n) continued to yell, giving him a shove again. “Do you even think before you act?” she added, before Buck could even explain or say something back at all. 

“(Y/n), it wasn’t my fault-” he said as he held up his hands. He didn’t even do anything but his job? Why was she so upset with him?

“You act like you’re invincible, like nothing can touch you, but you’re not! That rope could’ve snapped completely, and then what? What if I couldn’t pull you back up? What if—” she stopped talking as she noticed how loud she was talking, she needed to calm down.

She looked down to the floor and turned her back towards him as she placed her hands on her hips. She took a breath as she blinked the tears away which were welling up in her eyes. 

Buck’s face softened as he took a cautious step towards her. “Hey.. i’m okay. I’m right here.” He said. She was breathing hard as she wiped her face angrily. “You don’t get it, Buck..” she paused, her voice sounded broken and it was barely above a whisper. “For seconds… I thought we lost you.” 

At first, Buck didn’t know what to say. His confused expression was replaced by genuine regret, even though he didn’t do anything. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized with a soft voice. 

(Y/n) squeezed her eyes closed, “I thought we had talked this through? That we had a deal-” she paused, and she turned around, facing Buck now. 

Her eyes were slowly turning red, “Whatever you’re doing, you don’t get to do that to us. To me-“ her lip was starting to tremble as she said those words. 

Buck was caught off guard by her words. “To.. you?” he asked her slowly. And that’s where she realized what she’d just admitted, she cared about him. (Y/n) shook her head as she turned away. “Forget it.” she added, as she made a move to walk away from the conversation.

But he reached out, gently wrapping his hand around her upper arm. “(Y/n), wait-” he said. She glanced over her shoulder, their eyes connected. 

She was clearly upset with what happened, but why was she mad at him? He didn’t sabotage the anchor point? Why would she even think that Buck would’ve liked the idea of bringing himself and the victim into a dangerous situation like this? It’s not like he particularly wanted to fall to death. 

The sound of Bobby’s voice cut through the small moment they were having, pulling the both of them back to reality. “Buck! (Y/n)! Wrap it up, we’re heading out!” His voice sounded. 

“On it cap!” Buck quickly switched, and with that, (Y/n) pulled her arm free with a hard pull. She gave Buck one last look. “Next time, think before you act.” and with those words she turned and walked away, leaving Buck standing there. 

But this argument wasn’t really like the ones they had before, there was something new, as if something had shifted. 

______

“Buck, (Y/n) you’re on the west side.” Bobby said, as he quickly broke the team into pairs. The warehouse they were searching was a blazing inferno, the fire was clawing itself through the structure with a fury that threatened to consume everything. They had to be fast. 

“You got it, Cap.” Buck replied as he tightened his grip on the halligan between his hands as (Y/n) gave their captain a nod as she stood next to Buck. When she heard their names being paired together, she rolled her eyes for a quick second. 

Bobby finished his explanation as he and Eddie went to their assigned location and tasks. 

“Why do I always get the feeling we always pull the short straw together?” (Y/n) mumbled as they made their way through the huge space of the warehouse. Buck shot a glance over his shoulder, a grin was visible on his face “Maybe the universe thinks we make a good team.” he replied. 

She let out a soft sigh, “Or maybe you’re bad luck.” she shot back, she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted that to say out loud or whisper it to herself. They both moved quickly, (Y/n) breath was labored as she followed Buck through the chaos and her flashlight was slicing through the thick grey smoke. 

A voice cut through the air, calling out for help through the gasps for air. “Over here!” Buck shouted as loud as possible to get above the roar of the flames. She spotted Buck crouched near a pile of collapsed debris, when she hurried to his side she felt her pulse thundering in her ears.

“Someone’s trapped” Buck said while urgency was audible in his voice. He pointed towards a narrow gap beneath a fallen beam, the faint sound of coughing came from within, and continued with a call for help. 

“We need to get him out.” (Y/n) said determined, as she already started tugging at the debris that was blocking their way. The heat was killing. But every second counted. Sweat was already dripping down (Y/n)’s face, she couldn’t imagine what it must feel like for the person that was trapped. The air was thick, and dark, almost if there wasn’t any oxygen left. 

Buck threw his weight against the largest beam, grunting as he lifted it just enough for (Y/n) to crawl closer. “Carefull!” he called, not sure if he could hold the weight of the beam with only his body. 

“I’m fine! Just don't try to kill me.” she shot back as she kneeled down and wriggled her body through the tight space to reach the trapped person. 

When (Y/n) made her way through the tight space Buck had created, she reached the victim. Buck meanwhile managed to move the beam, still giving her the same amount of space to crawl through. 

 “Sir, can you hear me?” (Y/n) asked, her gloved hand brushing against his arm to try and get any kind of reaction from the man. The man nodded weakly, making (Y/n) let out a breath of relief. “Buck, I’ve got him!” (Y/n) called. “Get ready to pull him out!” she added as she wriggled her way back through the tight space. 

She was half way when a deafening crack echoed through the building. The floor beneath them shuddered violently, and (Y/n)’s head shot up as she realized the ceiling above them was starting to give way.

“(Y/n) move, now!” Buck shouted, panic was creeping up his chest as he watched his partner struggling to get back through the tight space. (Y/n) barely had time to register the danger before Buck lunged toward her. His hand grabbed a handful of the back of her turnout coat, yanking her backward with such force that her body slammed into his, making them hit the ground hard. 

The crash of debris behind them was deafening, all kinds of materials were scattering in every direction. 

For a small moment neither of them moved, their bodies were pressed together as the crash of debris closed in around them. His arms were wrapped around her and his chest was rising and falling against her back. 

“Are you okay?” his voice asked, as the adrenaline was rushing through his veins. (Y/n) tried to catch her breath, squeezing her eyes closed for a moment as a sharp pain appeared in her left side. “I- I think so” she stumbled, mixed with a tremble in her voice. 

His grip loosened on her body as he helped her sit up, Buck stood up from behind her as he held out a hand towards her. 

In pain, she hissed and pressed her eyes closed again. “You’re hurt.” he concluded as he scanned her facial expressions. She shook her head, “It’s nothing.” she said but the pain in her side told her otherwise. 

“Can you stand?” he asked her. She nodded, though her movements were slow and hesitant. She accepted his hand and let him carefully lift her to her feet. “We still need to get him out,” she said, motioning toward the man who was coughing weakly beneath the debris.

“I’ve got him.” Buck said, “Just stay behind me.” he added. (Y/n) allowed Buck to take the lead this time. 

He worked quickly but smoothly, pulling the man free. Buck put the male in the right position, crouched down as he held the man’s wrist in one hand and in the other hand his thigh. Her eyes were set on Buck as she watched him perform the right steps. 

It was kinda.. attractive? 

God no. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the awful thoughts she just had. Two weeks ago they were enemies and now she actually started to like him? No. Hell no. 

 “Let’s go!” Buck commanded as he walked back towards (Y/n) with the man on his shoulders. He kept a close eye on (Y/n) when they made their way through the flames again. 

The heat was suffocating, the air thick with smoke, but they kept on going. But finally, the cool rush of night air hit them as they burst through the exit. 

The team was already waiting outside, as paramedics rushed forwards to take the injured man from Buck. Buck crouched down again to place the man onto his feet again. “Here, he’s all yours. He inhaled a lot of smoke but he’s conscious.” he quickly briefed the paramedics. 

As soon as the man was placed onto the gurney the paramedics hurried away. (Y/n) pulled her helmet from her head and blew the strands away that were in front of her face. 

His eyes were locked on (Y/n) as he watched her take off her gloves and her entire facial expression changed when she made one wrong move. 

“(Y/n)” Buck said in a serious tone. “Sit down. Let the paramedics check you out.” he told her. She looked back at him, as she let out a “I’m fine.” as she pressed her hand against her side and tried to catch her breath. 

But Buck wouldn’t take no for an answer. He made eye contact with Hen who was giving the both of them a questioning look. So Buck waved her over. Hen rushed over towards the two, “Hey, you okay?” she asked as she watched (Y/n) press her hand onto her side. 

“She’s hurt” Buck said quickly before (Y/n) could answer. “No, I’m fine.” she muttered through her voice with a lack of conviction. But he turned towards (Y/n) again. “No you’re not” he said, his tone soft but insistent. 

She tried to pull away, get away from the conversation but Buck placed his hand firmly on her shoulder before she could try and run, guiding her towards Hen. “Come on, i’ll take a look” Hen said, not leaving any room for an argument. 

(Y/n) sighed as Hen guided her to sit on the bumper of the ambulance. She took off her turnout coat as Hen unzipped her medic bag and began her examination. Hen gave her a small, knowing look. “You just had to follow Buck into the inferno, did you?” 

(Y/n) let out a weak chuckle, “You know how it is.. The guy moves and you just, go.” she said. “Yeah well, next time.. maybe let him handle the death-defying stunts.” Hen replied as she pressed gently against (Y/n)’s ribs. 

She winced, biting on her lower lip to not let out a curse word. 

“Ribs are bruised but not broken,” Hen confirmed. “You’re lucky. Could’ve been worse.” she concluded. “Lucky isn’t how it feels,” (Y/n) muttered, leaning her head back against the ambulance.

Hen smirked. “Trust me, Buck’s had worse. You’ve officially joined the ‘pulled-from-the-fire-by-Evan-Buckley’ club. Membership comes with bruises and a lecture.”

(Y/n) chuckled as she caught herself glancing toward where Buck stood talking to Bobby. His shoulders were squared, his hands moving as he told what had happened.

Hen followed her gaze, her tone softening. “He’s got a habit of throwing himself into danger for the people he cares about. You did good in there, but you’ve got to let yourself heal.”

(Y/n) nodded, her stubbornness fading as exhaustion took over. “Thanks, Hen.”

“Anytime,” Hen replied with a warm smile, packing up her kit.

As Hen moved on to help another teammember, (Y/n) sat quietly, watching the embers from the fire flicker into the night sky. The adrenaline was finally wearing off, leaving her with a dull ache in her ribs.

______

The station was quiet after the chaos of the fire. Every member of the 118 had spread themselves over the firehouse, some were going to hit the shower, some were going to take a nap. But (Y/n) found herself alone in the locker room. 

She wanted to change into something more comfy to move in than a button up. She stood in front of the mirror as she lifted her shirt just enough to inspect the already dark bruises blooming along her ribs. 

“Great.” she mumbled under her breath as she gently poked the tender skin, making her hiss at the touch. 

“Those look bad.”

The sudden voice that had entered the locker room startled her, making her drop her shirt quickly. She spinned around to find Buck standing just a few feet away, he was leaning against the doorway. His usual cocky grin wasn’t there now, he seemed softer. His eyes were wandering back to where he had just been checking her side. 

“Ever heard of knocking?” (Y/n) said as she turned back to her locker, trying to get rid of whatever moment this was. 

He smirked faintly, “It’s a locker room. I didn’t think I had to.” he replied. She shot him a look through the mirror that was in her locker, but the annoyance didn’t quite reach her eyes. It was a small mirror after all. “What do you want, Buck?” she asked. 

For a second, Buck hesitated. But eventually stepped into the room, making the door behind him call into its frame. “I just.. wanted to check on you. After earlier.” he replied to her question. 

(Y/n) scoffed softly, as she wriggled the button up shirt off her arms and placed it into her locker. “I’m fine.” she said, just like she told him outside earlier.

Buck reached the line of lockers she was standing in front of. “You don’t look fine to me.” he answered as he crossed his arms and leaned his left shoulder against the lockers. “You took a hit in there.” he continued but it didn’t make (Y/n) turn around or glance over her shoulder at all. 

She pulled the elastic from her hair, her small bun wasn’t as tight as it used to be a few hours ago. “It’s a bruise Buck.” she said unconcerned as she grabbed the hair on her head in one hand and had the elastic ready on her other hand. But the ache she felt in her ribs told her otherwise. “I’ll live.”

(Y/) finished making her bun as she used some bobby pins to keep it into its place. The hum of the overhead lights filled the silence that was now taking over the room. Buck tilted his head slightly, as he watched her finishing her hair. 

“You know…” he started slowly, “you’ve been snapping at me a lot lately.” he continued as he kept his distance. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked him as she checked her hair. 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Buck told her, sounding more serious now. “Every time I open my mouth, you’re on me like it’s your job. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you hate me.”

(Y/n) sighed and turned on her heels to face him, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t hate you, Buck.” she told him. “Then what is it?” Buck pushed himself off the lockers he was leaning on with his shoulder and stepped closer, searching her face. “Because it’s not just me being reckless, is it?” 

And just when he asked that question, she looked away while pressing her lips into a thin line. “It doesn’t matter.” she said. 

There was clearly something that she was hiding from him. Something sensitive that she pushed away. “It does to me,” Buck replied softly. She turns away from him facing her locker again. But Buck didn’t intend to leave before he knew the story behind her behavior. “Come on, talk to me.” he said, his eyes desperate for an explanation. He tried to search eye contact through the mirror she was standing in front of. 

She brushed her fingers over her t-shirt where her bruises were, and let out a shaky breath. “You really want to know?” she asked, as she found him looking at her through the mirror.

Buck nodded. 

She stared at her own reflection as she spoke. She didn’t have the courage to look him directly in the eyes as she told her story. She had the courage to do lots of things: running into burning buildings, collapsing buildings, helping strangers. But telling this story, she just couldn’t. “I lost a colleague on the job once. ” she started.

“Well.. not just my colleague. He was my best friend.” she continued. 

Buck’s expression shifted as his arms fell to his sides. “What happened?” he asked her. 

(Y/n) swallowed hard, avoiding his gaze in the mirror as her eyes fell down to her hands. “It was a structure fire, kind of like our first call together. He was just as reckless as you, always throwing himself into the fire first. It went well most of the time. Only that time… he didn’t make it out.” Her voice was on the edge of breaking down. But she needed to finish the story. 

(Y/n)’s voice was quieter now, more fragile than he’d ever heard it. It was like he was suddenly listening to a little girl. 

“He was the person who always had my back,” she continued, still staring at her fingers as she picked her skin. “But I couldn’t save him. I had to hold the line while the fire got worse. I had to stand there, knowing he wasn’t coming out. And then I had to look his family in the eye and tell them…” Her voice broke, and she quickly wiped a hand over her face, trying to collect herself. “It doesn’t matter how many times people tell you it wasn’t your fault. You still carry it with you.”

Buck stepped closer, his voice soft but steady. “(Y/n)… I’m so sorry.” He placed his hand onto her shoulder, carefully, not wanting to spook her. 

For a moment, there was another silence. It was there but it wasn’t awkward at all. It was a vulnerable moment. 

Finally, Buck let out a soft breath as he disconnected his hand from her shoulder  and sank down onto the bench nearby. “You’re not the only one carrying ghosts, you know,” he admitted.

(Y/n) glanced to her side, looking at Buck who was sitting on the bench. 

Buck’s gaze dropped to his feet. “A few years ago, there was this guy, Devon. He was on a rollercoaster when the lap bar just opened up and his best friend got ejected.” He paused, as he remembered the moment like it was yesterday. “The rollercoaster was hanging in the middle of the loop, upside down when we arrived. Devon was hanging onto it with his life. I got to him in time, but he refused to grab my hand..” Buck swallowed hard, his voice rougher now. “I told him I got him,but  he just let go before even trying.”

(Y/n)’s expression softened and she folded her arms over each other as Buck continued his story. 

“If he just reached out to my hand, I could’ve saved him.” Buck said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And for the longest time, I kept thinking—if I’d just been faster, if I’d gotten there a minute sooner, maybe he’d have grabbed my hand.” He looked up at (Y/n), his eyes searching hers. “He was the first person I had lost on the job. That kind of guilt? It doesn’t go away.”

(Y/n) sat down on the bench beside him, her voice quiet. “No, it doesn’t.” 

Buck gave a faint nod, his lips twitching into a small, sad smile. “So when you yell at me for being reckless, I get it. I know what it’s like to lose someone. I’ve been there, too.”

She stared at him for a moment, the wall she’d built between them beginning to crack. “So that’s why you jump first without thinking… Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Buck shrugged his shoulders as a faint laugh fell from his lips. “Didn’t think it mattered. I’m usually the one driving everyone crazy, not the other way around.”

(Y/n) let out a soft huff of laughter despite herself, shaking her head. “You are insane, you know that?” Buck grinned, the first real smile she’d seen from him all day. “Yeah it’s not like you told me about twenty times earlier, but you keep me on my toes.” he admitted.

She rolled her eyes at his words, but there was no bite to it this time. They sat there for a moment. Buck’s gaze flicked to her ribs again. “Let me see.” he told her. 

A confused expression appeared on her face, “What?” she asked. “The bruises” he said as he motioned his head to her side. “Can I take a look?” he then asked, more politely instead of a command.

(Y/n) hesitated for a second, but with a sigh, she lifted her shirt slightly. Buck winced as he saw the deep bruising. “Damn, (Y/n), that’s bad.” he concluded as he finally saw the wound from up close now. 

“I’m pretty sure I'll live” she muttered. “You’re tougher than you look,” Buck said softly, when his eyes wandered from her wound back to her face. “Don’t you forget it,” she replied, her voice quieter now.

There was another silence, but it wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t filled with annoyance, awkwardness, or anger. Something shifted. 

Her eyes were lingering on his face for a second, but before she could say more, Buck’s lips crashed into hers. His lips brushed first a bit roughly against hers, but became softer as his lips landed on hers. The kiss was gentle, a bit hesitant, but most of all: it caught her completely off guard. 

(Y/n) froze for a second, making her hand press against his shoulder. But eventually she leaned into him as she let herself feel the moment. His hand moved up to her cheek as he brushed his thumb lightly over the skin as her hand that was on his shoulder moved to grab the short strands of hair on the back of his head. 

They both pulled back, Buck searched her face nervously. Did he get the signs correct? “You okay?” he asked, a bit out of breath. 

The confused and surprised look that had washed over (Y/n)’s face remained as he asked the question. But quickly merged into a faint smirk as she shook her head. “You’re lucky I didn’t hit you.” she said, laughing. “Wouldn’t be the first time,” Buck teased her, his voice soft as he brushed his thumb over her cheek one more time. 

“You’re such an idiot.” she said, as she moved her hand from his neck down to his shirt again. She grabbed a fist full of his button up shirt, and pulled him closer again. 

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

9-1-1 Masterlist | <<< Previous Chapter

[eatmadmarwan]

Hello my second family, how are you? Please take a few minutes to read this post. I am writing these words after losing hope in everyone… except for you, my friends. Just a short while ago, I saw that Tumblr has 100 million downloads. That’s an enormous number! But imagine, with all those millions of people, how would you feel if 100 million people saw you and ignored you? You’d feel deeply disappointed, right? Or maybe you’d even wish for death.

Have you ever wished for death? For me, I feel like I would rather die than be ignored. If I didn't desperately need help, I wouldn't ask for it. I really need help - not for myself, but for my grieving family. For my 3-month-old baby and his sisters Malak and Eman For my brother's orphaned children who lost their father while he was going to find them flour For my sick sister who suffers from kidney atrophy

Imagine for a moment that you have a little child whom you love so much, and you are forced to watch him suffer before your eyes. This is not just fantasy to me; it is reality. My family and I live this pain every day.

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Please be our hope. Be our voice. Be the one who saves us from despair. Don’t ignore us. Donate, even if it’s just €1.

There are a lot of people reading this post right now. I beg anyone who sees these words to donate if they can, and if they can’t, to share this post. Please, don’t leave us behind.

Be our family, or consider us part of your family, and save us from this suffering.

No matter how small the amount, your help means a lot to us. And if you can’t donate, share this post and add some kind words to inspire others to help.

One day, you may find yourself in need of help. Help me today so that someone else can help you tomorrow. Your donation – or even just sharing this post – could save the life of an entire family.

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Thank you very much everyone. I wish you all the best. Sincerely, Your friend eatmadm

[bastardlybonkers]

THE WAY I GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN I SAW U WROTE ANOTHER STARBEE FIC....

your giving me one million billion added years onto my life when you post art or a fic i love it soooo soo much <<33 >_< !!!!!! ur writing style is so so sooooo good tytytysm for writing and sharing more starbee

also id kill for some good general tf fic recs from u <<33

tysm !!!!

thank you so much!!! i love writing and drawing starbee, i havent felt this motivated in so long lol im really glad that other people are enjoying it as much as im enjoying making it.

as for fic recs, im not sure if you mean 'general' as in the 'general' rating, or 'general' as in 'not necessarily starbee', so ill have two different sections for these recs, one for general and teen, and one for mature and explicit! lets go :D

GEN & TEEN

O Lazarus by Trinary: Starscream/Shockwave, Regeneration One continuity. i just absolutely love this fic, i think its so well written, and i adore regen1 shockscream. i think this fic really nails that awkward early dynamic between them, starscreams trauma, and shockwaves burgeoning emotions. i really like how viscerally you feel starscreams emotions in this one. if you havent read regen1 but want good shockscream, the fic provides context in the opening notes 👍

In a Different Light by jabberish: Jazz/Prowl, All TFS media. this ones fun and cute with just the slightest brush of angst, i love it. the whole premise is that theyre at a party, and jazz realizes that prowl has face blindness. they put their helms together to help prowl navigate the crowd. cute fun read, pre-relationship, could almost be considered a meet-cute were it not that they know each other already in this lol.

we will rest upon the ground by lunarblazes: Bumblebee & Elita One, TFOne. the two of them have a quiet conversation the night before everything goes to shit. contemplation about new bodies, getting to know each other, bee realizing that elita isnt as terrifying as he thinks and elita realizing that bee isnt as annoying as she thought. just a really great read, i love it and i love their friendship

Just For Tonight by Prowlsuniboob (orphan account sadly 😔): Fortress Maximus/Prowl, IDW1. i really like how well this one captures prowls character. oftentimes, ill see him kind of...woobified, i guess, in idw1 fics, probably because people are used to other continuities where hes nicer (or just want him to be nicer lol) but i really like how complex and messy he is in idw, i love how much he sucks lmao. i think this one strikes a great balance in how hes an asshole whos made a lot of terrible decisions but hes also so, so lonely. and fort max, whos been on the business end of prowls shit tier decisions firsthand, is like jesus christ. i hate it but i pity him now. prowl being drunk in this is the perfect way for him to be more unguarded.

Subharmonics (series) by neveralarch: Megatron & Starscream, Gen 1. this is The starscream dysphoria fic series, and i like megatrons dysphoria too! i also like the way that theyre experiencing two different types of dysphoria, and starscreams complicated feelings in the second one of the series. this is a rare one where they arent being as awful to each other as usual lol, i like to imagine this mostly takes place during a lull period in the war where they arent as turbulent and toxic. very very good

the war is over and we are beginning by lord_squiggletits: Megatron/Optimus Prime, IDW1. this one is part of a larger series of theirs, but i havent read it, i just love the megop angst and softness here. its not required to read the rest of the series, so thats why im recommending it by itself since thats what ive read lol. a very good look into how megatron feels that love has made him weak, while optimus doesnt feel the same.

Hazard Light by EatYourSparkOut: Brainstorm/Perceptor, IDW1. hanahaki au but like, robot hanahaki! extremely fun. ive always liked when people bend popular fanfic tropes to work with transformers instead of just throwing the trope on there, and i think this fic does that excellently. i also just love the way that they write perceptor, hes a character i didnt contemplate too much on until reading this fic and i was like man im missing out on this guy 🤔 i think this is a pretty popular simpatico fic so if u ship them youve probably already read it, but if you havent and youre in the mood for some light body horror, angst, cringy flirting, and perceptor being the most ridiculously avoidant mech known to man, please give it a read its great

A Slight Overreaction by Something_Wrong: Soundwave-centric, Gen1 & IDW1. i reread this one all the time. it is just so fucking funny for no reason, im obsessed with the way soundwave acts in this. like yeah of Course a dude so crazy about secret collecting and information acquiring would get so bent out of shape over something so simple. the author had really great comedic timing, its a great read if you want some silly soundwave that has you going 'ohhh buddy...please just take a nap 😂' by the end.

I prove a theorum and the house expands by apprenticenanoswarm: Dinobot/Rattrap, Beast Wars. dinobot has dyscalculia! thats pretty much the whole fic lol, just rattrap realizing that dinobot and numbers Do Not Mix. i really love their dynamic in this, its written very well and i love the sort of...idk, ease? to their interactions? its great

Helpless by platonicharmonics: Megatron/Optimus Prime (Megatronus/Orion Pax), TFP. in which before everything, orion pax meets the coolest bitch hes ever seen in his life at a gala, and that coolest bitch somehow also thinks that hes the coolest bitch. very sweet, excellent dialogue, and also autistic orion, which is one of my favorite hcs. its hard to find autistic prime without it feeling woobifying, but i think this one does an excellent job. if you feel like something romantic and charming with that hint of 'oh god they dont know the horrors on the horizon' feeling, check this out

Everyday Words by fowo: Megatron/Optimus Prime, Earthspark. just some old men being in love, and the most accidental, casual marriage proposal ever. very sweet and tender, healing for the heart. they deserve to be ridiculous old men together

MATURE & EXPLICIT

Constructed Hot by neveralarch: Starscream/Bumblebee, IDW1. THE starbee fic for me. seriously, i just adore how this one is written, starscream and bees dynamic is Peak here, and i love the balance between bees angsting over being a ghost and starscreams angsting over being. well. ig in his mind a sexual deviant lol. if the ageplay tag turns you off, its transformers ageplay, pretending to be newly built, not a child. ageplay is a personal squick of mine so id been tentative myself when i first read it, but if its also a squick for you, i dont think this one crosses the line enough for it to get to me lol. ugh god i just love this fic so much. also, its PLUG N PLAY!!! my favorite :D its also the one where i got the idea for the thigh ports!! i think its been in plenty of other fics, ive read it elsewhere since then, but this was the first i had seen it like that. top tier fic

Every Wise Man's Son Doth Know by zuzeca: Megatron/Optimus Prime, IDW1. another absolute top tier, constantly rereading this one. i love optimus being a freak and wanting megatrons hands back on his spark. and i love how megatron is written here hes so...megatron. augh. ugh. i dont really have much else to say other than read it, old man ptsd yaoi real.

stitches to show something's missing by Llwy: Tarn/Pharma, IDW1. this is the only fic so far thats inspired me to write a sequel, i just could NOT get it out of my mind. pharma takes things into his own hands to stop the djd, then he takes things a step further, then too far. i really loved how this fic makes you think about the ethics of it all, and wonder at what point did it stop being about saving lives and start being about lording power over tarn for pharma. and tarn...TARN...i wish i could write another sequel or SOMETHING i want more in this series i really care about their tarn. i think hes written in a very fascinating way here, though if youre looking for canon-typical tarn, this isnt it.

Fragments by Graveyard: Brainstorm/Perceptor, IDW1. rated m for the body horror more than anything sexual, since its sparkplay. brainstorm makes a terrible mistake and nearly dies, perceptor saves his stupid ass, and brainstorm has a nearly-died epiphany. despite the grave circumstances its also a very funny fic lol just by virtue of the characters being who they are (its very in-character, which i love). and, ofc, i loooove body horror i love it so much, this one isnt too much body horror if it makes you squeamish but he does start to melt a little lol. enjoy!

Something, Anything by absolute_minimum: Prowl/Fortress Maximus, IDW1. prowl is lonely (what else is new) and wants fort max to beat the shit out of him. but also he wants him to fuck him. they both just want to feel something, but after an incident, max wants them to feel something Good. i really like this one, once again i think this is one that captures shit tier asshole prowl very well while still making him a sympathetic character, just as the comics do. and fort max is also so good in this, how angry he is versus how he will Not compromise his principles, and when theyre softer its just. urreghhgh i want a part two. actually i also wish Just For Tonight had a sequel too...i think. i want more fortprowl lmao

Ghost in the Machine by EatYourSparkOut: Bumblebee/Starscream, IDW1. bumblebee accidentally possesses starscream and they jack off. its a fun time. i really like the descriptions of fear and violation in this, how visceral starscreams reaction is but also how earnest bumblebee is like 'i Did Not mean to do that oh my god'. starbee my beloved you can pack so many issues in you

Tarnished Silver by spockandawe: Sunstreaker/Mirage, IDW1. do you know HOW hard it is to find good idw sunstreaker angst??? ITS HARD. it is so fucking hard. premise is that sunstreaker and mirage used to have their bdsm sessions before. well. the Everything happened, and theyre having their first one again after everythings changed. this one really nails the angst factor, i love that the whole time youre reading, you can feel the loss of things that used to be pleasurable to him before he went through everything that he did, and his guilt is just ridiculously palpable. mirage in this is great too, i like how, just like sunstreaker, there are moments where you really dont know what hes thinking, so when he reassures sunstreaker you as the reader feel it too. very good i love this one so much

Stress Test by 0 (only_elsewhere): Starscream/Bumblebee, TFRiD. i didnt think i would like starbee in RiD, nor did i think id like anything with heats, but i really like this fic!! its another one where they robotify a common trope (this one being heats) to make it work for transformers, and i just love how in-character both bumblebee and starscream are. bumblebee especially is really standout in this, hes just that perfect blend of cocky and sharp both in tongue and mind, while still being young and trying to hide the fact that hes not sure what the hell hes doing. stupid kidnapping, fuck or die, and the most horrible feeling for bumblebee of 'oh GOD no. do i LIKE him now???'. very fun read

What You Can Have by DesdemonaKaylose: Rung/Swerve, IDW1. id never seen this pairing before this! really interesting premise, rung is tired of nobody remembering him and never being noticed, and his only coping mechanism that works is basically letting anyone and everyone fuck him (but nobody remembers it anyways 😭). problem tho! swerve remembers seeing him get fucked, and cant get it out of his head. theres a specific line in this that i think about all the time, i reread it so much just to feel that gut punch again of That Line auuugh so good. please check out if you want to feel things about a ship you probably never considered