#that desire stemming from a desire to be a companion to a human

[servicereward]

you ever think how puck is like. amoral little mermaid.

[aouiaa]

What if.. Dina + Werewolf reader

Maybe R is very secretive about it at first, nobody knows at all, they go about business as usual other than maybe disappearing every full moon. R is just pretty strong and fast and they can just write that off as being athletic or something

Dina could possibly find out when Dina and R are on patrol and they get ambushed by a bunch of raiders, then R is forced to transform into the big werewolf form in a last ditch effort to protect Dina?

Live Laugh Love Dina Nolastname..

❝ under blue moon ❞ — 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 !

warnings and disclaimers, established wlw relationship (not implicated), half werewolf/human!reader, reader has long hair, human!dina, cursing, angst with comfort, self-deprecation, sequences of violence, deaths, descriptions of wounds, mentions of blood.

TAPE THAT MOUTH SHUT, “we love you dina” we all say in unison.

like the repetitive tap of a foot, you were restless. plagued with conflicting emotions that a slip-up at any given moment could alter the course of history, a beloved one with many. every howl under a night sky, a display of unwavering loyalty, ignites a sense of profound shame within you. perhaps this constant state of self-deprecation and guilt stems from a deep-seated selfish desire to release, to finally be who you were meant to be, not forced.

from the unyielding itch to molting, you didn't wish to frighten or harm anyone, but sometimes it was necessary. a sharp whistle pierced the tranquil expanse of lush forests you patrolled alongside dina, morphing into a fierce war cry. your primary concern was preventing any harm from befalling your companion. the attack materialized so abruptly that it seemed almost surreal. the scathing slash struck swiftly, leaving a searing wound in its wake.

in your perception, the situation was akin to clinging to a rope for dear life, so tightly that it sliced through your skin, leaving behind scars begging to be licked clean. the rope itself was not robust, hanging by an exceedingly fragile thread. every action demanding meticulous movement, for a single misstep could spell doom.

the same doom that loomed over your relationships, uncertain if they could ever be salvaged. the relentless onslaught came fast, and just as quickly, the man perched atop you pinned you down, leaving you battered and close to your final breath. in that critical moment, you gazed over to your right, desperately seeking an escape. there, you saw dina, her life slipping away as she was being strangled. amidst the chaos, a profound realization washed over you. it’s clear like any human, they have a breaking point, and being half-human, you certainly experienced those moments of revelations too, just like you were destined to now.

at first, you felt a disconnect, as if the world had shifted into a hazy fog. then, through the blur, a trembling, bloodied figure came into focus. she looked up at you, her eyes wide with fear, as if you were some malevolent entity. the truth was, you were, yet not a monster in the conventional sense.

driven by primitive instinct, you lashed out at her and fled through the dense forest, putting distance between yourself and the once battlefield. with your heart pounding furiously, the stinging sensation of tears threatened to fall, it all felt useless, as if your efforts amounted to nothing. you were nothing, but a failure. now, certainly, you were gonna be alone. wearied, you gently placed the terrified girl on a patch of clear ground before collapsing at her feet, utterly spent.

as if in a scene from a film, a brilliant aura enveloped you, gently shrinking your form until you were your true self once more, but—were you ever truly your “true self” to begin with? your tresses fell like a curtain, shielding your face, almost as if they spoke on your behalf. shame cloaked you, fearing what the other might think, but realization sunk in: you couldn’t hide any longer, not anymore. you gathered the courage and swept your hair behind your ear.

inches from your visage was the face you dreaded, one that could turn away and call out wolf— literally. you stared up at her, tears streaming down your face. You weren't physically harmed, yet sobs continued to spill from your lips.

your voice quivered as you choked out, "i can't... i won't hurt you." you attempted to sit up, but to your dismay, she moved back, the small distance feeling like a chasm between you. it was as if the whole world had been turned upside down—your feet no longer firmly planted on the ground.

it might be for the best that everything unfolded this way, as deep down, you had no real grasp of whether you were truly domesticated. just like animals with their innermost instincts, there was a chance that an unexpected trigger could send you into a tailspin. with tears streaming down your face, you tearfully admitted, "i’m a monster." slowly, you began to rise to your feet.

“hey, hey,” her hands, gentle and soothing, came to rest on your tear-stained cheek to stop you, redirecting your gaze to meet hers. she softly reassured you, “you’re far from that.” like a mother calming a distressed child, she stroked your skin tenderly with her thumb.

“but you look at me like i am.” you murmured.

she huffed, clearly at a loss for words, “i—what is there to say to this?” her smile held a hint of resignation as she continued, “sure, you're a bit on the hairy side, but you did get us out of a hairy situation.” a pitiful attempt to lift the mood with a lighthearted remark in a tense situation wasn't so easily dispersed. unmoved by her attempt at humor, you offered her a cold shoulder, extinguishing the fragile flicker of light that had briefly appeared.

she notices your expression and sighs, momentarily resting her forehead against yours. as she inadvertently glances downward, the change in her expression prompts you to follow suit.

immediate embarrassment flooded you as you swiftly move to cover your private areas, your face beet red. "oh shit." you muttered, realizing you had forgotten a crucial detail.

her infectious laughter sliced through the tension in the room— or rather forest. with a toothy grin, she took off her jacket and draped it over your shoulders, quipping, “there you go, you wild animal."

"hey!" you pouting in response.

request are open, don’t be shy! :3

PERMANENT TAGLIST, @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101, @abbysleftbicepp, @airenaa, @caraphernellie, @astralnymphh, @whore87, @kaiilectric, @sapphicontherun, @mikellie, @nihilisticangelbby, @be3flow3r, @ppuussyyy, @clairoscharm, @lvlymicha, @brackishkittie, @loveyru, @drunkonnatasha, @leosw0rld, @visupremacysstuff

[!] — IF BY CHANCE YOU WANNA BE ADDED TO MY PERMANENT, look at this for more info!

[orphiclovers]

I've reached chapter 200 of orv in my reread which means its time for a character retrospective. this post is about yoo sangahhhhh okay let's go

for the first few scenarios she (and everyone) is purely running on adrenaline, no time to think, just survive somehow. during the first downtime they have, it sinks in that this is reality.

She's killed people and now there is blood on her hands.

The next day she dedicated her time to selfless good deeds. Despite and because she has the capacity for taking a life, she has the responsibility to save lives too. This is the kind of morality she decides on and what comes to define her as a person (and as a foil to han sooyoung, they're constantly contrasted)

ANOTHER aspect of her early personality is her "insecurity complex" (direct kim dokja quote) about being less strong and useful to kdj than Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon.

Kim Dokja helps her self-esteem a bit by giving her the deputy leadership job at chungmuro station while going off to fight with jhw and lhs. he insists he doesn't do it for her feelings, but because she is well-suited. she takes this job extremely seriously and chungmuro is the event that is the most important in her personal narrative. she becomes close to the people and when hsy attacks, it is an unforgivable act that sours their relationship and turns them enemies forever.

Her insecurity stems from feeling lost in the new world order and its values. she put a lot of effort into her real life to be successful at work and orv says time and time again that someone who is "well adapted" to real life cannot survive the world of WoS. Usually, that means that the survivors we see are people "despairing long before the world ended".

Yoo Sangah is an exception to this rule, who was fine irl and initially survived thanks to someone else. But now she has to adapt.

it's perhaps very telling that the 'spec' she learns (in the name of saving her companions/being useful) is ✨️self-destructive✨️ hell yeah baby go in the torment nexus

she gets incredible strength in a dangerous, short term way by overusing stigmas, knowing very well that it could kill or disable her. why does she make this choice?

kim dokja thinks its the wounds on her hands/symbolic of the trauma she has gone through. I would suggest seeing early kim dokja self sacrificial behavior inspires her (negative). she says she is just adapting and that its the only thing she can do.

in conclusion.

pre-scenarios yoo sangah is a well-adjusted, capable woman who has a good career - a backstory not suited for the apocalypse. has the luck of being held in some regard by Kim Dokja, enabling her to survive the first scenario.

Like everyone, she is forced to kill other humans to survive and stains her hands with blood. This is a wound on her heart. She decides to dedicate herself to saving and helping others as much as possible

The apocalypse has very different standards of what skills are valuable. In the real world she had constantly worked on herself and improved  but now all her skills are obslete. This leads to an insecurity complex and comparing herself to others for a while.

her pride in the real world was having a good career due to her own extensive effort. Eventually she decides, if her skillset is obslete, she will just have to develop a new one suited to the new world. But because the world of WoS is exceedingly harsh, because of her trauma and guilt, because she has seen kim dokja put his life in danger to save them - she goes about it by being self-destructive. her desired strength comes at the cost of destroying her soul and body.

So this aspect of her is just another angle to the Known Orv Theme of self-destruction/self-sacrifice. she's also an answer to what would happen if someone with good mental health and successful life survived the first scenario (the answer is she struggles and her mental health is no longer good)

[shima-draws]

Tell us about the AU! I know you want to!!

WAUGHHH. AGHHH. OKAY. OKAY SO. I've been watching one of my favorite content creators play through the DLC. Early on in the playthrough he was tossing around theories and said "Maybe KIERAN is Ogerpon??" and that gave me a BRILLIANT THOUGHT.

Ogerpon Kieran AU.......

I've already thought of a very long and complex backstory for this LOL but to simplify it. Before the ogre and its human companion came to Kitakami, said companion was actually living a very happy life with his child. However, they were caught up in the midst of a great war that ended up taking the child's life. The man was so overcome with grief that it summoned a great being (I'm thinking Xerneas), who blessed his dead child with new life. And that child was reborn as Ogerpon!! So kinda like how children who get lost in the woods and die are reborn as Phantump.

Fast forward to many many years later. A long chain of events leads to Carmine's grandfather's...father (so, her great-grandpa?) meeting Ogerpon and vowing to make it a new mask, a mystical and powerful mask that could grant wishes. Sadly, Carmine's great-grandpa wasn't able to complete the mask before he died. This project was eventually picked up by Carmine's father (and I have a whole other thing about him but I'm not gonna get into it right now lol). Carmine's father forms a very close bond with Ogerpon as he continues to gather materials to finish the wish mask. He expresses his desire for Ogerpon to finally be able to walk among the villagers with its name cleared, and for Ogerpon to meet his only daughter. He leaves for a journey to find the last material for the mask...and never returns 😔

Carmine's grandfather has a whole complex about the wish mask, but after seeing both his father and his son dedicate so much time and care into completing it, he takes the last material, imbued with the hopes and dreams of his family, and finally finishes the mask. When he presents it to Ogerpon, Ogerpon dons the mask and its wish is granted...it becomes human :") So it becomes Kieran, basically!! Kieran's wish was to be able to say thank you to all of the generations of mask makers that had helped him, and. To be part of their family 🥺 What he doesn't know is that his wish to be human stems from the fact that he already was human, once. But he doesn't remember his life before he was reborn as a Pokemon.

So, Carmine's grandfather happily accepts Kieran and his desire, and takes him home to live with him and Carmine. Note that Kieran is probably around 5-6 at the time, so he's BABY. And Carmine is only about a year or two older. She isn't sure what to think about suddenly getting a new brother, but she's happy to have someone to boss around lmao.

And once a year, during the festival of masks, Kieran lets his facade fall and wanders around as Ogerpon again. Just to keep in touch with his roots haha

So obviously with Kieran being Ogerpon the events of the DLC will play out differently than canon. Kieran slyly compliments the ogre in front of the player and mentions that maybe it's just misunderstood. He's been trying for a while to change the villagers' minds about what happened to him and the Loyal Three all those years ago, but it hasn't been going...too well lol. So when the player shows up, and things start to shift, Kieran gets really excited bc he realizes he finally might be able to clear his name :")

Is this AU silly and dumb as hell? Yes. Does it not really make sense with canon and is full of plot holes? Yes. Am I brainrotting over it anyway? Also yes.

Take a little edit I did of Kieran's official art to fit what I had in mind for the AU ;) I wanted to draw it but I'm at work rn lmao RIP

ALSO LITTLE DOODLE OF THE BOY

ALSO bc of Ogerpon's original gender Kieran probably goes by he/they pronouns in the AU

[helgiafterdark]

blah blah werewolf husbands blah blah blah

so, i just wanna talk about my personal characterizations of them. farkas is not some stupid bumbling brute with no brain and no feelings, and vilkas isn't just some angry angsty asshole (although at a surface level, i can see this). and this definitely heads into headcanon/fanfic territory.

farkas has the unique role of being the only companion we can actually witness transform into a werewolf (we do get to see aela in wolf form, but not her actual transformation and with no combat). and kodlak has convinced vilkas that sovngarde is a desirable goal incompatible with lycanthropy. so what does this mean?

clearly, farkas is more at ease with his own lycanthropy – his own self. he can transform into a wolf at will, he has amazing control over it. he is always calm and level-headed, he isn't concerned about any sort of bloodlust or rampages. i think this is due to his upbringing, surrounded by werewolves and warriors his entire life. this is his normal, his peace. i still believe his wolfblood burns hot within him, and he has moments where he loses control. but these moments are few and far between. his outer shell is a quiet calm man, who has moments of boisterousness and passion. and he is perceived as man of few words, or more negatively, a bad conversationalist. i think this contributes to the idea that he is stupid, but he isn't. he definitely doesn't have as much capacity to remember many historical facts like vilkas, but still he isn't stupid.

farkas has a rich inner dialogue and feels his emotions very deeply. yes, he has his personal trauma and other things he has dealt with which have possibly caused him to become withdrawn. but he has a very healthy outlet in hunting and fighting and training, especially considering he is literally not a human and biologically has a need to hunt (whether this aligns with human needs or morals is irrelevant).

and you'd think the same would apply to vilkas, but it doesn't. he is always grumpy at best, a whirling storm of fury at worst. he has bursts of anger, shouting, maybe even violence. combat is his main outlet, at jorrvaskr he can knock skulls together all day. but put him in a tavern and he will sulk in the corner all night. to most everyone else, he's moody, brooding, irritable, snobby, fun-intolerant, and has no problem laughing in your face when you ask a stupid question (although he'll tell you the answer anyway, because he certainly knows it). but there is an ache, deep in his heart. he has carried it with him for a very long time.

i believe in childhood vilkas was perhaps closer emotionally to their father, jergen, or had a stronger attachment to him. and when jergen left for war, vilkas took this much harder. he had to reason with himself and come up with some way for this loss and grief to make sense. so vilkas perceives this as abandonment, and maybe it was. and due to his environment and the people around him, the only thing this boy could understand was anger. then he latched onto another father figure, kodlak.

and we have to remember that kodlak wasn't always an old man. he was young, a powerful werewolf warrior who claimed many victories and looked glorious doing it. he still maintains a connection to talos in his old age, which he likely acquired in youth long before he became a werewolf. after jergen left and never returned, kodlak took on the responsibilities of instilling good values into those boys. i don't believe kodlak really taught them much about talos (somewhat secular upbringing). but he did teach them about honor, integrity, leadership, and security. over time, kodlak came to see them as his own sons. i think this is where kodlak's worries regarding sovngarde stem from; things are different now that he has children.

and when kodlak became disillusioned with lycanthropy, he projects onto vilkas and farkas, saying that they do not take to the blood as deeply. vilkas was easily convinced. farkas obviously just agrees with vilkas, he goes where his brother goes. but i think internally, farkas is extremely comfortable as a werewolf and would not choose to rid himself of his power. so when kodlak says farkas seems to be fine after swearing off transformations... well, i think it is because farkas would never give this up, and hasn't.

i think farkas' mental peace and clarity come from being his unrestrained self. he doesn't hold back his wolf, he embraces it fully. he regularly hunts in beast form, like aela and skjor. he transforms whenever he needs to, a powerful release of emotions and other energies. maybe farkas just wasn't as close to jergen, maybe he just has better emotional control and was able to efficiently cope with his grief. no matter the reason, he isn't as affected by this loss as his brother. (not to say farkas was entirely unaffected, but everyone has their own reaction to loss). however, farkas did very much look up to skjor. and when skjor dies, farkas is grieving. he expresses this verbally once and then never again. he's a man of few words, he contains his grief and other emotions.

vilkas' enduring anger, however, is worsened by holding himself back. he is convinced lycanthropy is a curse, that he isn't a true nord. so he doesn't transform into a wolf. he remains a man, every day, possibly for years. he is bottled up, repressed, waiting to be released but he will not allow this to happen. this is the illusion of self control. in holding himself back, he makes it so much harder to contain. he is absolutely itching with rage and he knows why but he is so stubborn. he has made up his mind; he will not transform. to him, this is strength. he believes his beastblood is his weakness. but i don't think werewolves should see their blood as a curse or a blessing. it is simply who they are, and it's important emotionally and mentally and physically to embrace who you are.

so basically, when farkas transforms into a wolf, he is completely in control and fully aware. this is what vilkas thinks he is, but in holding himself back he is actually on a path to losing control over his beastblood.

i love them <3

[serendipitysparks]

Dante, the protagonist, exhibits significant traits of a narcissistic personality, driven by an overcompensation for deep-seated insecurity and trauma. His bombastic bravado and sardonic humor mask a profound sense of existential anguish. This mirrors the Freudian concept of reaction formation, where the outward display of confidence and self-assuredness is a defensive maneuver against an underlying sense of powerlessness. Dante’s unchecked hedonism and pursuit of visceral pleasure are indicative of a pleasure principle that constantly pushes him towards gratification without the balancing influence of the reality principle, which manifests in his sporadic self-destructive tendencies.

On a Jungian level, Dante represents the archetype of the "shadow" in his struggle with his demonic heritage. His internal conflict between embracing or rejecting his infernal lineage symbolizes the Jungian process of individuation, wherein the individual must integrate their unconscious aspects with the conscious self. Dante's refusal to confront his "shadow" often leads him into cycles of avoidance and reckless behavior, reinforcing his fragmented sense of self.

Furthermore, Dante’s relentless pursuit of vengeance and desire for justice can be interpreted as a classic existential crisis. His search for meaning and his moral quandaries reflect themes of absurdity, as theorized by philosophers like Albert Camus, who argued that life’s inherent meaninglessness compels individuals to create their own value systems through acts of defiance and self-determination.

Trish, as Dante’s companion, is emblematic of both the anima archetype and the maternal object. While she appears as a powerful ally and formidable fighter, her connection to Dante is laced with unconscious symbolism. Her initial role as a temptation and a manipulator mirrors the mother complex, a psychological dynamic in which a son seeks both to disavow and reclaim the nurturing, yet castrating, maternal figure. Trish’s ultimate role as a force of redemption signifies the possibility of reconciling conflicting aspects of the self, serving as a guiding force toward self-actualization and individuation for Dante.

Trish’s very existence as a duality—demonic yet human—also underscores the struggle with identity and authenticity, themes that are particularly resonant in Jungian psychology, where the anima represents the bridge between the conscious ego and the unconscious mind. Her interactions with Dante emphasize the delicate balance between love, power, and autonomy in personal relationships.

Vergil, as Dante’s estranged twin, is perhaps the most poignant representation of the father complex in the series. Vergil's cold, calculating nature and relentless pursuit of power evoke the omnipotent and emotionally distant father figure. His psychological dynamic with Dante is laden with competition and unresolved paternal rivalry, which stems from their shared trauma of parental loss and the subsequent absence of a stable paternal figure. Vergil's ambition to harness demonic power without regard for the cost reflects a pathological detachment from the emotional realities of human existence, reinforcing his psychological pathology.

Vergil’s symbolic journey into the underworld represents a descent into the unconscious, where he attempts to control the chaotic, primal forces within him. This endeavor, however, is marked by an inability to integrate these forces in a healthy manner, ultimately leading to his downfall. The eternal conflict between Dante and Vergil, therefore, can be viewed as a battle for the supremacy of the ego, the id, and the superego within a fractured psyche.

Thematic Psychological Analysis: The overarching narrative of Devil May Cry is suffused with psychological conflict, mirroring the human struggle with duality, identity, and the search for meaning. The characters, while embodying classic archetypes, engage in a dialectical dance with their own desires, fears, and moral dilemmas. Dante’s emotional vacillation between his human and demonic sides evokes the tension between the conscious and unconscious, while the anime’s exploration of vengeance, justice, and redemption mirrors the constant negotiation of the individual’s desire for autonomy and connection.

The central theme of Devil May Cry—the confrontation with the self—can be seen as an exploration of existentialist ideas surrounding the absurdity of existence. Dante’s journey is not just one of external battle but also a psychological odyssey where he faces the chaotic forces of his own psyche, represented by the demons he fights. These external battles are, in essence, projections of his internal struggles, and the real victory comes when he acknowledges and accepts his inner turmoil.

[atrueneutral]

I think I read on one of your posts that jealousy and actual feelings are two separate issues for Raphael? Like it’d take a while for genuine feels to really kick in?

I do agree, but would you mind discussing it some more? 👉👈

I make for a very poor analyst, but I’d be happy to discuss! I think what you’re mentioning was in response to the prompt request of ‘Raphael asking himself why he was jealous and then having the realization that his jealousy stems from romantic feelings for Tav’.

With being a fiend, jealousy simply exists and thrives within our beloved cambion. He’s jealous of all those who have what he wants; attention, power, love…

In the case of Tav, and when it comes to the events of BG3, he wants her attention because she can bring him power (with the Crown), and seeing/knowing she’s romantically involved with a companion stirs his deep (human side) desire to experience love himself. The more he dwells on it, the more everything coalesces into infatuation, which twists into obsession and suddenly why are they touching what’s his?

To me, ‘Actual Feelings’ means Raphael is opening the door (on some level) to his humanity and is working on separating himself from the tangled web of Fiendish Obsession. He’s discovering what real love entails, i.e. wants to protect her from harm, feels guilt and remorse when he causes her harm, wants to give without the expectations of getting something in return, cares for her happiness, even if it means letting go… (THIS IS SOUNDING FAMILIAR TO ME. 😉)

The difference is:

How dare that vampire spawn speak to and touch (and kiss) my little mouse! She’s mine! Oh, I want to flay his skin! Slash open that twice-damned-spawn’s insides! Hang all that he is out in the sun he cherishes! My mouse will feel empty at the loss, but I will fill the void… I’d best interrupt this disgusting display and remind her of my existence…

Versus -

Hells! I cannot bear to watch Her with him! This wretched pain I feel - to see her speak and touch (and kiss) that spawn when it is not I with whom she looks at with such affection. It should be me! Yet She has chosen another… Whose pale skin I would very much like to flay before I slash open his insides and hang all that he is out to dry in the sun he cherishes… I’d best interrupt, if only to talk to her once more…

As for when I think Actual Feelings would kick in? He’d have to spend more time with Tav outside of the events of BG3, whatever that entails, but the spark of Feelings is quick to catch. Man’s secretly yearning to experience love (but wants Hers more than anything).

My addendum: There’s never any profound moment of realization that he’s in love with Tav - only the profound moment of acceptance that he’s in love with her.

[tigresjumeaux]

when you want to draw danganronpa characters but you literally only know how to draw dogs lol

anyway, here, have the protectors ❤️ breed explanations under the cut bc why not, i love these kids and dogs are cool. plsss click/tap the image for better quality omg

sakura ogami: central asian shepherd dog, or alabai. CASDs are quiet, stoic, and even-tempered, and have been bred for around 4000 years to protect land, people, and livestock. throughout history, they’ve lived almost exclusively outdoors in rough terrain and harsh climates, with their breed characteristics stemming more from natural selection than human intervention. working ability and fearlessness are the most desirable traits in these dogs, both of which sakura has in spades. they’re known for their intensely protective instincts, rushing into combat against any perceived threat to their charges without hesitation, but they balance that iron will with keen intelligence, gentleness with their families and livestock, and patience. also, traditionally, these dogs’ ears are cropped and their tails docked as preventative measures against injury while fighting off large predators. i headcanon that it would be like a rite of passage in the ogami clan, done to prevent injury to tails and ears during sparring and training.

nekomaru nidai: rottweiler. rotts are well-known for their strength and their intimidation factor, with the one of the highest bite forces of any dog breed, and a loud, deep bark. they’re solid muscle, but even when they’re friendly, they can come on extremely strong! i work with dogs, and even though i’ve never had a negative experience with a rottweiler myself, i still duck for cover when they come barreling over to say hi, rumbling and growling the entire way. nekomaru is loud and boisterous, which isn’t a common trait among guardian breeds, who tend to be discerning and aloof, on the whole. but rottweilers are honestly just…bros. they’re pushy and full of willpower, with huge hearts to match. they’re all bros. nekomaru is a bro.

gonta gokuhara: leonberger. leos are another breed that, despite their role as guardians, tend to have less of the iron-jawed disposition of many other working breeds. they’re sturdy, fluffy, and enormous…and some of the most laid-back dogs you’ll ever meet. they’re sweet and excitable, and are equal parts companion dog and guardian dog. gonta needed to be something big and fluffy (obviously), but without the aggressive nature of dogs bred to work independently and kill threats on sight. leos are the epitome of gentle giants, but they still have protective instincts. just not at the expense of their friendliness!

[ratlesshonret]

Thinking about what Hohenheim said about Peccatula Luxuriae and the Lust Affinity in general, when tied into Juli.

I feel like, with all the knowledge we have, I have a pretty accurate take on what Lust represents as a Sin Affinity. It doesn't just represent carnal desire, but also a need for connection. To bond with others, to spread your ideas and personality to those around you.

Its like hanging out with your friends and seeing them adopt your mannerisms. Its like changing other people's minds about subjects with your convincing. Its seeing others change to be what you consider better, and knowing that you did that.

And moreso, its just about being close to other people. Having not just lovers, but friends and companions and hell maybe even enemies. That sense of human contact, physical, emotional, and possibly even spiritual, that drives people to keep moving.

I think this is why Kaya is so good for Juli. He's one of the first people that she's just able to... talk to. Late night chats, repeated one night stands that don't need to mean anything, mutual soul searching... they share a lot of things together. He satiates not just the physical Lust within her, but the emotional Lust as well. Which is her real Lust. The Lust all else stems from.

Kaya is a great conversationalist. He knows how to discuss deep topics in a respectful and sensible way, and can tailor his mannerisms and approaches in a way that helps the person he's speaking with most. He's capable of cutting through people's bullshit and seeing how they really feel, and even flat-out confronting them with that, but while still giving them space to process and feel and not think they're being attacked. And this is what Juli needs. That connection is valuable to her, and its changing her more than she realizes.

Maybe one day, she won't need to blindly consume stimulation to survive.

Maybe she can, soon, slow down a little.

[claudiablogger]

finally finished iwtv (1994). certainly a Movie ! assorted thoughts i typed out while watching (mostly on louis) that may or may not cohere:

louis' passivity - not a flaw in the show but key flaw in the movie. unable to do anything but watch, with slaves and vampires alike, while in the show its a learned survival response. one stemming from the luxury to look away, to stay safe and protected, the other stemming from its impossibility

reinforced by the pivotal claudia turning scene - watching and consenting to lestat turning a dying five year old to shake his own guilt in killing her vs asking lestat to turn a dying fourteen year old whose death he feels personally responsible for

love for claudia - same re passivity - in the movie the nurturing comes from a desire for the same protection he takes comfort in, in the show its a chance to give her what was denied him until the subtext becomes text and they are ultimately both lestats fledglings

sam reid is a better lestat but jacob anderson is the only louis it can even be said he invented louis. sorry all b.p has going for him is the melancholic disaffected cadence with daniel, and even there he does precious little to prevent the interactions from feeling bloodless, pardon the pun. j.a made him more than a monument to existential angst, made him a character with depth and meaning and profundity

"we were all americans now" "a drop of good old fashioned creole blood" need to look up literature on the horrendous racial anxieties and implications in this movie from someone w more knowledge than i have on the dawn of the 19th century in america

also claudia's awakening her realization of her age and position and powerless immortality hitting her 30 years into her transformation is so scary. she's turned so young and her life is so violent with no regard for human life that it takes her 30 years to understand its nature. in this way amc claudia is such an excellent adaptation of a character i wouldve called unadaptable. her violence as a 14yo only serves to underscore the endurance and bargaining she's needed to keep her head above water first as a child and then as a preteen--it goes from being a story about the death of innocence to being one about the impossibility of it. "i decided to make the best of it" defines amc claudia. anyway both of these characters remain the best part of their movie/show but it's not similar bc kirsten dunst's performance eclipses everything else in this shitty movie but amc iwtv is actually good. you know

louis in the show seeking out old haunts frequenting them even especially when shes gone vs louis in this movie avoiding the place he first drank from her for 30 years......microcosm of the differences in their relationships w claudia

it is CHILLING how good kirsten dunst is. you can really feel the full horror of claudia being in her thirties stuck in that small body

the louis-lestat dynamic just doesn't have the same heft to it in this movie, not least because you never feel the full force of their power imbalance as maker and companion, even less so than in the books, where their relationship was explicitly abusive. not to mention how its impossible to be on louis' side in anything at all. i'm a lot more interested in the horror of claudia's relationship with her parents and the csa of it all

not trying to turn this into a liveblog but the way. this story is so blatant oh my god "we were alive again just the two of us" and its claudia prancing around a room with four adoring beholders (dressmakers)

this movie is really short and everything happens in very quick succession, which is good because i hate it. thankfully though many of claudia's scenes allow for some slow paced thoughtful respite which i welcome

i really really dislike armand he's nothing as a character there's nothing to the role he plays no depth no interest the pane of glass statement strikes true in terms of doylist construction not just. what he chooses to be. he exists to tell us louis is gay (with an exception (his daughter)) and that's all. worst of all they didn't even take the opportunity to make him like sixteen his age serves no purpose nor does the fact that he keeps around a young cherubic boy to drink from regularly. hello. also it fully beats the point of louis' frozen denial to have him reject armand immediately when in the book his grief makes him stay with his daughter's killer for like a century. i can't believe this movie is so bad it has me bringing up things from the book as a better execution of the same failed theme. useless

huge fan of the dead house at the end with the scent of death. last night i dreamed i went to manderley again except it isn't at all like that. also good ending and i dont mean good as in virtuous

anyway. knew this already having read the book but. the racism...... the fact that anne rice is considered a key figure in gothic fiction after not only the books but also the movie is unconscionable but unsurprising

[chenria]

He's one of my immortal Dragon OCs (the other is Alani). But to explain my concept of Dragons would be too long and nobody would really read it anyway ;)

If I said I really do want to hear about your concept of dragons would you be up to explaining? I’m really curious!

Wow, thank you. I never thought anyone would actually like to know that. So I put together a small explanation about my "concept of Dragons" XD

The idea for my concept of “immortal dragons” grew over time and somehow stems from a quote from Goethe’s "Faust. Der Tragödie erster Teil" …

Ich bin ein Teil des Teils, der Anfangs alles war, Ein Teil der Finsternis, die sich das Licht gebar, […]

I am not sure if there is an English translation to Faust… there should be, but I can’t find one online right now… the quote would roughly translate to

I am a piece of the part that was everything in the beginning, A piece of the darkness that gave birth to the light […]

That sums up what “dragons” are in my story (that is not really a story and more a concept in my head for my characters). Dragons are energy, corporeal energy. It’s alive and sentient and has been since… forever. And these beings adapted to their surroundings, taking on various forms. And since they are energy come to life they are … eternal. They were not always sentient in the sense like humans, before they were drifting specters observing their surroundings. Some took the roles of spirits... fairies... beings that are but also aren't.

But as sentient beings they are also aware of everything. There used to be many of the dragons in times long gone. But Alani and Callan are the last ones remaining. Because they were aware of so much most suffered from loneliness and helplessness. The things they cherished were always dying. And the Dragons were very passionate beings. When they loved, they loved with all their being. And constant loss took their toll on them. Dragons can’t die… not in the sense of mortality. They can enter a different plane of existence and return their energy to the universe so to speak. Then they still "are" but they are no longer sentient. As beings of energy they can feel the presence of other dragons in their corporal form because it's like a black hole... so very dense they can feel it, so they know they are the last ones. Alani stayed because she is ever curious and desires to live and feel and experience everything, despite her endless losses. Callan - as her brother/companion - remained with her because the thought of leaving her alone tormented him. He managed to never get too attached to individuals - more to places which he misses, too. The two are very close, but they go decades or centuries without meeting each other, but they “feel” each other still (beings of energy and such) and know they are aware of each other.

Dragons also have the power to change their appearance - drawing energy from their surroundings and the universe… so, yes… in the past there were dragons who looked like dragons as you know them. Scaly creatures, winged demons, ethereal beings… they can be all. But shapeshifting is painful - it’s not just snapping a finger and poof, scaly dragon form. It’s a slow process, regrowing and changing bone structure and such. That’s why Alani and Callan have settled for a look they hardly ever change. Small adjustments are regularly made - appearing older or younger to stay in an area for a few years more without drawing attention.

It is possible to “create” new dragons. It’s all about collecting energy and compressing it. It’s hardly ever done … Alani and Callan did it just once, when Alani got married and her husband (Xiang) learned of their secret and was offered immortality.

They can also use “magic”…. which is essentially just a manipulation of the energy of the matter around them. But who cares for the specifics if one can make stuff fly around.

So… yes. That’s the idea. As long as there is energy and matter there can be dragons. And dragons are just powerful beings... so yeah...

[kafkaoftherubble]

无要之文、看官们无需顿足。

F's Relationship with Ada (4) Attraction, aversion, primal confusion. The Three Poisons.

Follows from here.

LR taught F skills that matter as The Most Powerful Ghoul From The Project. They trained him to be able to identify a person from the noise of a crowd in a busy metropolis during rush hour, for example.

They also trained him to sniff out enemies through their thoughts. No matter how well-trained an assassin is, even with their emotions dampened, F can catch clues of their intent and immediately pressure them to ruminate more deeply into their thoughts against their conscious will. Their plan would then unravel, and he would alert LR, who usually told him to mentally destroy the assassin into killing themself or willingly give up.

The Ghouls' enemies—chiefly the anti-Ghoul activists/terrorists—have theorized this counterattack to be possible but never received any real confirmation of it, because F made sure that whoever they sent out had their minds so scrambled and destroyed that there was no lucidity left.

Anyone in the Research Institute goes through rigorous psychological screening. LR wants to sanitize the people in their institute, as it is what they believe to be the seat of their ruling and the origin of their transhumanistic revolution. People who exhibit a certain degree of mental illness or "abnormality" are excluded from any position within the research team or institution; not even the janitor can be too depressed or too anxious.

Despite this degree of sanitation, F still thought other minds were rather chaotic and—if he's not vigilant—liable to overwhelm him. Again, this is why he trained himself to put a distance between others and his own mind among other ways to calm himself down. He needed to be guarded against the turbulence of so many minds out there.

It does, however, mean that F is not used to being around people who are legitimately suffering from mental illness. It's seen in how, despite Ada's situation not counting as a true case of mental illness, it still bemuses F and prompts him to silence the Others.

------------------

F hears That Woman's thoughts at certain times of the day. She wants to kill people. Or, she believes she's killing people already. Or, she thinks she's going to snap at any time and bite into someone's neck and become drunk with their blood. Or, she is a plague to her family and friends, because she's attracting death. Or, she—

All of these are reminiscent of what LR had taught him to be markers of enemies. F's habits are constantly stirred by her.

He doesn't act on it yet because his new friend and traveling companion, Ada, also exhibits similar strange thoughts. Hers might have come from sources that are "not her," but there are still similarities that F recognizes: the distress over their inability to control or silence them, the anxiety over the things these thoughts say, and the desire to act fine and functional regardless of these intrusive thoughts.

It might not be dangerous, F thinks. Ada isn't harmful. That Woman shouldn't be, either.

His mistake is confiding in Ada about his findings. Because it turns out to be one of the rare times when Ada and the Others are more or less on the same page—

their object of desire is the same person, after all.

Ada tells F that The Woman is dangerous. These thoughts stemmed from real places. Real origins. Unlike Ada's, which were uncontrollable because they came from separate entities grafted into her brain. That Woman is human, and so all of her thoughts originate from her. She's thinking this because she knows it's true on a certain level. She panics over their existence because she knows they are secrets she doesn't want others to find out.

Recall how many of F's later cult followers are people who suffer. Agitated people. People who want to find peace and are therefore drawn to F's automated ability to calm others down (to protect himself, yes, but who's splitting hairs over his intention?). That Woman is similarly attracted to F due to it, too. One can even say, quite maliciously, that F possesses the maximum amount of rizz to broken people. Rizz for the mentally ill.

F could have asked That Woman about what she's suffering from. He could have been advised to listen to That Woman explain her condition in her own words. He could have done a lot of skillful things... if the counsel he trusted had wanted that for him.

But Ada tells him to interrogate That Woman the way he used to do back in the Institute. Make her dive into her psyche on her own. Make her face her thoughts and see what the full scope is. You'll be able to see if she's really bad or not.

F believes her, so he drives That Woman deeply into her intrusive thoughts, forcing her to ruminate on them. The Woman's behavior becomes erratic for the rest of the day. She begs people to tie her up. She lies in a ditch because "the ditch is so narrow I can't move my arms while I'm here, right?" She refuses to explain herself to concerned friends and family why she's doing all of this in fear.

F is confused by That Woman's behavior. His interrogation has revealed to him that That Woman's "homicidal thoughts" are truly that expansive. There is no end to it. It even seems a little bizarre at times, but by LR's standard, she's incredibly dangerous.

Panicked, her friends and family rush toward him and beg him to help her, as That Woman seems to listen to him. F hesitates; he has no idea if he should or should not. He doesn't know how to make his own decision or judgment. Every one of these people's thoughts and intentions are slightly different. Far away, That Woman's behavior has caused a spike in fear and anxiety in other humans. It was not unlike those who see someone suddenly flashing a knife or a gun. There is an acute, urgent sense of danger.

F doesn't know what to do. So, as is his habit, he defaults to someone he trusts. He is a weapon awaiting his master's order.

Ada hesitates. This is going waaaay beyond her intended effect, but seeing That Woman miserable and exposed, and seeing the distress on F's face, makes her giddy. Now F knows the dangers of associating with anyone else other than his friend, confidant, and fellow Ghoul. Me.

Ada decides, in the end, to tell F to sedate That Woman psychically after she's finally done enjoying this little turn of events.

By that point, however, That Woman has already sedated herself.

She throws herself off a high building and dies instantly, tormented by her bolstered intrusive thoughts till the very end. The impact of the pavement against her skull must have hurt for a millisecond; but if her head hadn't turned into mush, people might see her smile from the bliss of long-awaited silence.

All this happened within a day.

F realizes it agonizes him. The result rattles him; he's back to the suffering he has tried to escape by running away from LR. He thought Ada was different, and yet this way of using him is so obvious, that he finally realizes she's no different from LR.

The grief from That Woman's friends and families overwhelms him. His own rage, explosive and sudden, froths from the edge of their outpouring emotions. It is his first, though unintentional, psychic attack against Ada.

It renders her catatonic for hours. She would have been catatonic for weeks if she didn't have her fractured mind.

But F reels himself in as he has been trained to do. He takes Ada's suggestion to sedate people mentally—he might be too late to save That Woman, but it's soon enough for her surviving family and friends. He tells himself it is the last time he listened to her.

He feels so much remorse that he overdoes it.

Those people were more than just calm. They were enraptured. They start to cry not in pain or sadness, but in rejoicing, as though they have seen That Woman ascend to paradise and briefly join with her. It is ecstasy.

F's first cult followers are That Woman's surviving friends and families.

When they return to reality, they see him as beatific and divine. She was touched by you! She had known this is your true nature! You're no human; you're a god! This is why she is so close to you. This is why she martyrs herself! She is blessed!

They believe in their twisted logic so much that once again, F is overwhelmed by their emotions. They convince him that everything is perfectly, blissfully correct. This is the course that should have taken place. They comfort F through their blinding faith in him and in The Correctness of The Event. Everything happens for a reason. This is the way it should be. You're a god. You merely do what must be done. Divine will. Ineffable decisions.

F breaks away from Ada from that point onward. This is the beginning of his unwitting—and later, willing—journey to start a cult of his own. He might have been a god, but That Woman was the saint.

Written at 2.00am, July 14th 2024. I think I wrote a horror story comparable to 2017 Lyn's Our Pale Lady Clad in Red. Noice! There, I hope you like this one too!

[arisokit]

Character Name: Anoushka Melina Joshlyn (commonly known as "Anne")

Species: Human

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Physical Appearance: Anne has undergone a striking transformation since her pact with the fey. Previously, she had dark brown hair that cascaded down her back, often adorned in intricate styles befitting her noble heritage. Her once peachy skin has transformed into a luminous pale white—a signature of her connection to the fey. Now, her hair is a vivid blood crimson, contrasting sharply with her ethereal bluish-teal eyes that sparkle with mischief and allure. Anne's makeup is bold and gothic; she regularly sports black eyeliner with glistening eyeshadow, accentuating her otherworldly beauty. Her attire has evolved from luxurious noble gowns to revealing jade and black torn robes, combined with ripped fishnets and heavy leather jewelry that swings like chains with her every movement. Each of her double-pierced ears glint with ornate earrings, echoing her rebellious spirit.

Personality Traits: Anne embodies a chaotic neutral alignment, making her unpredictable and whimsical. She possesses a sharp wit and a playful sense of humor, often finding joy in mischief and trickery. Although generally self-serving, Anne has a strange sense of loyalty towards her friends. Her curiosity drives her to explore different aspects of the world, often leading her to trouble or adventure. She is fiercely independent and disdainful of authority, a trait that stems from her noble upbringing. Despite her seemingly carefree demeanor, Anne harbors a deeper yearning for freedom and understanding, particularly regarding the Mindflayer species.

Background: Born into one of the most powerful noble families in Baldur's Gate, Anne's life was initially filled with luxury and privilege. However, the suffocating expectations of her family compelled her to escape at the young age of 15. Seeking her own identity, she ventured into the world and eventually found herself entangled with the fey. Her patron, Iggwilv, the Witch Queen of the Feywild, tasked her with uncovering the mystery of the Mindflayers—a mission that would lead to her capture by these creatures. The experience dramatically reshaped Anne, deepening her powers as a Warlock while also emphasizing her desire to explore the unknown. Despite her familial ties, Anne's heart beats for adventure, mischief, and ultimately, self-discovery.

Other Relevant Information:

Weapon of Choice: Anne wields a sharp glaive with elegance, a weapon that reflects both her noble roots and her new chaotic existence.

Hobbies: One of her favorite pastimes is playing the lyre, an instrument that she uses to charm and enthrall, often drawing in unsuspecting listeners with her haunting melodies.

Love Interest: Anne's heart is captured by Astarion, a charismatic vampire rogue who shares her love for the art of deception and manipulation. Their bond is intense, filled with flirtation and the thrill of danger.

Best Friend: Shadowheart, a devoted worshiper of the Lady Shar, acts as a sisterly figure to Anne. Their connection is grounded in mutual respect and trust, providing Anne with a sense of stability amidst her chaotic life.

Companion: Anne has a pet dusk unicorn named "Twilight," a mystical creature that symbolizes her ties to the fey and serves as both her steed and confidant. Together, they traverse realms, embodying the spirit of exploration and freedom.

Anne's journey is one of defiance and discovery, continually challenging the constraints of both her noble past and the enigmatic forces at play within her life. Each encounter adds another layer to her character, driving her towards an unforeseen destiny.

What Anne Approves:

Adventure and Exploration: Anne is driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore the unknown, reveling in the thrill of new experiences.

Mischief and Trickery: She delights in playful pranks, enjoying the laughter and chaos they provoke.

Fierce Loyalty: Although self-serving, she values and fiercely protects her friends, often putting their needs above her own in moments of crisis.

Personal Freedom: Above all, Anne values her independence and autonomy, opposing anything that seeks to constrain her spirit.

What Anne Disapproves:

Authority and Control: Anne has a deep-seated disdain for anyone who tries to impose rules or restrictions on her life.

Conformity: The expectations of her noble family made her rebellious; she shuns anything that feels forced or standardized.

Betrayal of Trust: Anne detests dishonesty among friends, valuing loyalty and open communication above all.

Ignorance: She has little patience for those unwilling to explore the mysteries of the world, especially when it comes to understanding creatures like the Mindflayers.

[yingren]

💋 ( let the leash go shieda i give you permission 🤔)

send 💋 to shut my muse up with a kiss

rough edges are the only thing ren knows. sharp metal, shards of glass, gravel and dirt in wounds. it sounds worse than it is, as though the world has starved him from memories of all things gentle, all things tender. every footstep left behind becomes a home for newly planted spider lilies, soil drenched in blood and toxic waste, feeding them like vines hungry for whatever their roots can get a hold of. everything he knows is dented, shattered and fragmented — everything including boothill. 

he still can’t place the man in any memory of his own, can’t seem to figure out where he belongs, if he belongs anywhere. boothill is different from the rest & no, not in a cliché type of way that renders him unique and outstanding compared to others. his current body may be pieced together by meticulous research, the most careful hands belonging to brilliant minds have evidently created a machine ( a killer? ) a weapon; but that is not what makes him stand out. that is not what keeps ren intrigued, what draws him back for more.

he does not recall how he ended up so fucking lost, head spinning as he orbits the other, pacing fast enough to soon dig a circle around his companion. the mara is bleeding through every crack in his skin, face of fury lit up by widened crimson eyes that bore holes in everything he gazes upon. ren fidgets with his hands, takes another lap around boothill and rambles until there is no more air left in his lungs. 

it seems boothill finally had enough of his endless word vomit, stopping him mid-step to shut him up. ren is ready to shove him off, to reprimand him for not taking his questions and concerns seriously, to threaten to turn him into scrap metal should he ever dare to act so impulsively again. but he doesn’t. something snaps, something hard and cold buried in the recesses of his own mind, and something warm seeps out to replace it.

ren is completely still for a moment, frozen in place and positively silenced. 

maybe boothill isn’t special. maybe ren doesn’t know him from before & the desire to place him in a foregone memory stems from nothing but the tricks the mara plays on his mind. he looks up for the first time in twenty minutes, tired eyes fixating on the face before him. 

& maybe, just maybe, boothill is not a memory but a fragment of the future. both human and a machine, both deadly and tender, both unique and plain. where his identity should have been stripped off him years ago grows a sense of individuality that captivates, overwhelms and drowns ren. ombre hair that acts like threads of memories, distinctive paint that dance over cheeks, the eagle on his back & its feather unflinching where it sits on his hat. ren believes that it doesn’t matter how many times the mechanical parts of him are replaced, boothill will always be boothill — a perplexing figure with a rare and original charm.

" tonto. you taste like cigarettes. could’ve just told me to shut up. "

[stormpoetics]

I left the protection of my plan & my thinking. I let my self go. Is this hope I

thought. Light fled. We have a world to lose I thought. Summer fled. The

waters rose. How  do I organise myself now. How do I find sufficient

ignorance. How do I

not summarise anything. Is this mystery, this deceptively complex lack of design. No sum

towards which to strive. No  general truth. None. How do I go without accuracy. How do I

go without industry. No north or south. What shall I disrupt. How find

the narrowness. The rare ineffable narrowness. Far below numbers. Through and behind

alphabets and their hiving, swarming – here,  these letters. I  lean forward looking for the anecdote

which leads me closer to

the nothing. I do not

lack ideas. I do not fail to see how pieces fall together. I do

not fail to be a human companion to the human. I am not sceptical. I

am seeking to enter the in- conspicuous. Where the stems of the willows  bend when I

step. There is dream in them I think. There is desire. From this height above the ground I see

too much. I need to get down, need to get out of the reach of the horizon. Are

these tracks from this summer or how many years ago. Are these  grasses come again now,

new. 

Jorie Graham, On the Last Day

[sealer-of-wenkamui]

Obligatory Danzou’s interlude post because it’s one of my favorite parts of fgo, they really made an interlude just for me, with a large focus on Limbo’s obsession with her (this is an abridged version of the full 70+ message discord thread I made lol)

The fic I always talk about actually has a section that takes place directly before this interlude, showing one of her daydreams which I really like…

Anyway, da Vinci’s comments about Danzou are interesting in that even a genius like her doesn’t exactly know how she works, so I’d imagine Limbo is the second most knowledgable after Kashin Koji themself and maybe the first Fumma too

This interlude also emphasizes that this Danzou knows nothing of Shimousa cause she’s PHH Danzou, so once again the fact that she has a fear of the dark sun stands out to me as Limbo hurting her to such a degree that this Servant version of her fears it despite not remembering him. And I wonder if the virus itself played a role too.

It’s not Limbo proper or even a shikigami but the virus still acts just like him, and it just makes me wish for a scene in Heian-kyo where he tortures Danzou, we could still save her cause as he says, he’s the type to give someone a long agonizing death not kill right away… and especially with his fixation. Also his threat to guda here resembles the materials book line a lot as he’s threatening to keep them beteeen life and death (though I imagine the overt rape threat was too much for the game’s rating)

I really want to see moonflower animated, or at least an illustration cause I love how it sounds… and she talks about it being a cruel technique she dislikes… love how both times she uses it it’s on Limbo

This part with Holmes having known the intention was to restore Danzou’s memory apparently gets taken out of context because even the preceding line here is him saying that it does not tell us why he did it. I find it insulting to her character to try and claim Limbo legitimately wanted to help when right after this he explains his motives and they’re the height of cruelty. With Shimousa backing him up that he means his words, not that he’s one to lie about such things. For the hundredth time, he let her get attached to her companions, forced her body to attempt to kill them, blew her up, and all while mocking her for thinking she had free will and telling her how he screwed with her mind. Also he didn’t even restore her full memory, just let her choose the most precious one to serve his own purpose of learning what it is she cares about most so he can take it from her.

Usually motherly characters don’t interest me much but there’s something about Danzou and Kotarou that’s so good…. A doll that thinks she’s just a machine to pass on the Fuuma arts and hates herself to the point she hides away from the sun, and the boy who treated her as a human and decided she was his mom now, and she was the one person he opened up to… also he too has his whole oni blood thing and in a my room line he’ll talk about how he’s a wretch… so them finding each other is so sweet… it’s good!!!

Best part is the final part though, and it demonstrates a lot of why I’m so obsessed with LimDan. The fact that he goes to so much effort to hunt down another version of the doll he found in Shimousa, give her a virus to restore a single memory so he knows how best to devastate her, then tell her to her face his plans to do so… that’s the sort of fixation I love!! And that he doesn’t seem to hate her necessarily, but he certainly doesn’t love her either, it’s just an obsessive desire to hurt cause he enjoys it, which ultimately stems from his hatred and envy of Seimei, who he can’t surpass, so he goes off mocking and hurting everyone else. And someone like her who reminds him of Seimei is especially pleasurable to hurt so he develops this sort of fixation on her and goes way out of his way to hurt her as much as possible! What the fuck I love it so much. Also I love how he switches entirely to calling her creepy pet names post-Shimousa.

This is a fantastic setup for Heian-kyo too, which makes it all the more frustrating that it completely fumbled everything it was given… the beginning of Heian-kyo has Sion stating that the only two Servants that will have no trouble rayshifting are Danzou and Kotarou. He’s following through on the threats he made here in her interlude… only for them to give some flimsy excuse for Kotarou not to make it and not even have Danzou talk to him much at all… Heian-kyo beginning is also fantastic and promises so much only for it to drop it all as you get to the middle and end… her killing Limbo is exactly how it should be but where was all their conversation leading up to it? It should have been a Danzou-centric chapter and I’ll stand by this, she’s the one most hurt by him.