#the funny hacker guy!!!

[dailyjhondough]

DAY 1.

[randomrory69]

Guys two time from family guy is so cool I wish nonbinary people were real... 🥺

[terrificpairofcomiclads]

It’s very funny that the reason AverageHarry and TommyInnit said Dan had a huge bong was because they wanted Hacker The Dog to come to the after party 😭

*hacker is a puppet

[woolydemon]

hello scrounge transformers nation of uh.mmmmm.................................................................. approximately 2.3 people.

[drapi0n]

Anyone else ever just use their homie as a popcorn bowl?

[alsteneldoeight]

no way is that the guy from forsake(gets shot 63 times

[someonecalledflora]

oh, my most beloved kobaryo stamina hell song. . . dimension hacker my absolute BELOVED WAAAAA

took me long enough. dude was such a pain i wrote a whole album review, lol.

funky man who got suddenly blessed with enough tech knowledge that he gained the ability to literally HACK INTO DIMENSIONS. that is cool i thinks!!

[vague lore under the cut, as a treat.]

------------[visual divider!! wowie!!-------------------

She shuffled around in her seat, fruitlessly trying to press herself to the window to get a good view of the sprawling city before her.

"There in the middle, is that the Super Reactor? It's real?"

"Course it is," the rather blunt woman next to her replied, "It's our pride and joy for a reason. Mesmerizing, isn't it? I never quite get sick of lookin' at it myself."

The woman was right, she could barely comprehend what it even was. A massive pillar of swirling liquid and color, several hundred stories in size, so bright and illuminated even against the neon city of the future before her that it almost hurts to look at, said to be able to power the city for years, decades even, if it broke down. . .

All of it, the whole Reactor, an impossible marvel in engineering and magic, was real. Here she is, too, seeing it all for herself. In such a situation, she couldn't help but mutter;

"Wow. . . I get to live here?"

[megaten-and-other-polls]

Megaten Funny Little Guy Tournament: Semi-Finals Match 2

[olenvasynyt]

Hi, what happened to your tiktok?

I joined a MLM and changed my name to Dana Pro. I think it was a good decision I earn sooooooo much commission

[hoperays-song]

(drops random rarepair and runs)

[cosmicrhetoric]

im ripping through elementary i have two things to say 1) they brushed over the four foot portrait of watson thing like that was insane. im sorry but if a criminal mastermind went from thinking i was just some guy to spending hours on a huge unbelievably detailed portrait of me id spend more than 5 min being weird about it and 2) disregarding my previous point entirely: that's just everyone's baseline re: lucy liu. in our own way we are alll painting massive portraits of her in our heads. do you guys want to watch watching the detectives 2007

[yxsrq1]

i got tiktok again 😋

[malereadermaniac]

૮ • ﻌ - ა Trends - Vinnie Hacker x Male Reader

Plot: Boyfriend Headcannons with Vinnie - more specifically doing TikTok trends together ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

Note: Icl I've never seen this man's vids but holy shit is he hot

Warnings: m!reader (no genitalia mentioned) / FDNI Some nsfw mentions but no smut! Entertainment purposes! Doesn't reflect real life!

Boyfriend!Vinnie who's incredibly chuffed at the fact that the whole world knows that the two of you are dating! You two are like the it couple on TikTok. Both your comments and his are filled with either people gushing over the two of you or gay men jokingly commenting things along the lines of 'guess I'm sleeping on the highway tn'.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who liked that you weren't super online. Sure, you had all the usual social apps but you weren't exactly one to post. But now? Vinnie loves how much you post. His fame kinda rubbed off on you! So you had to give in to the demands of fans to post more.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who significantly reduced the amount of thirst traps he would post since the two of you became official. But on the other hand, Vinnie is the typa guy who encourages you to post thrist traps! He not only wants to enjoy the videos of you looking fuckin' hot, but he also wants other people to see how hot his boyf is!

Boyfriend!Vinnie who literally reposts your TikToks. He might as well be a fan.

Boyfriend!Vinnie whose fans constantly ask to see you on streams. It's funny really. As soon as it became public knowledge that you were dating the streamer, his fans slowly stopped asking him to strip or show off his muscles and instead ask to see you.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who fucking LOVES doing couple TikToks with you! He's sending you every couple trend that comes up on his FYP and (not so) subtly begging you to do them together. And holy shit do the fans EAT it up. And you also really enjoy them too...

Boyfriend!Vinnie who snapped a selfie of him smirking as you lean over him and bend out of the car window to order at a drive-through; your ass looking extra thick in your baggy jeans and your back arching perfectly. That picture was not only posted on TikTok but also on Instagram... The caption on the picture was the usual trend caption of 'he wanted to order'. But the caption Vinnie added to the post? 'Jealous?'

Boyfriend!Vinnie who was more than happy to copy your pose in a snap you sent him; flexing his huge bicep and showing off his tattoos. The blonde hit the repost button so fast when he saw that you posted it as a TikTok. A smile crept onto Vinnie's face as he read your thirsty 'BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWD' caption. But his favourite part of the post was your cute attempt at flexing your own bicep; which no matter how built you were, was nowhere near as beefy as your boyfriend's.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who couldn't stop watching your video with him doing the smudged lipstick trend. The same snippet of the Cigarettes After Sex song would replay over and over again but Vinnie couldn't care less. He focussed on every detail. He watched with pride as his big, veiny hand cupped your soft face. He chuckled to himself when he came into frame covered in lipstick marks. And holy shit Vinnie's ego would swell each time he saw how lovingly you looked into his eyes. All the man could think as he rewatched the video over and over was 'He's so pretty...'

Boyfriend!Vinnie who convinces you to let him post a TikTok of you both running into each other on the street and fake fighting. The fake fighting quickly turns into making out as the guitar riff of 'I don't wanna be me' by Type O Negative plays. People fucking ate that TikTok up; it became Vinnie's most-liked post almost overnight. The steamer was also very smug when he noticed that you'd changed your lock screen to a screengrab of the two of you making out from that video.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who took a whole day to be convinced to film one specific trend with you. You wanted to do a trend where you mouth off to Vinnie and tell him to make you shut up; prompting him to grab your mouth and squish your cheeks roughly. The thing is, Vinnie didn't wanna be so rough with you. Cute. You did convince him though! And the end product not only had viewers frothing at the mouth, but you also found it really hot. The way your boyfriend's veiny, tattooed hand looked so rough as it griped your face; it was hot~

Boyfriend!Vinnie who got a little annoyed when you called Tom Holland hot when the two of you were watching Spiderman. As 'punishment' you were put into a gentle headlock and forced to lie on Vinnie's chest for the rest of the movie. Which let's be real, that's more of a reward. Your boyfriend chuckled to himself when he saw that you took a short video of his muscular arm squishing your face and posted it with the caption 'Bottom Jail 'cause I called Tom Holland hot...' Vinnie then spent half an hour pissing himself with laughter as he read the comments on that video; people screaming at the information of you being the bottom, and other people replying that it was fucking obvious...

Boyfriend!Vinnie who posts a video of picking you up and putting you on the kitchen counter just to see your reaction. What your boyfriend didn't expect was for you to be so ready for him; a smile making its way onto your lips as your wrap your legs around Vinnie's waist and your arms around his neck. You go in for the kiss and who's Vinnie to deny you? You were abruptly stopped when you started to subtly grind into your boyfriend. Vinnie quickly broke the kiss and chortled "Babe I'm recording-!" not wanting at least 500k people to see how good you could be to Vinnie~ Safe to say you scolded the man quite a bit (which he left in the video)

Boyfriend!Vinnie who watches lovingly as you film a cute Get Ready with Me in the bathroom, only to get a strong urge to get in the video once you're done. You didn't mind it at first, just focusing on recording. But when Vinnie hugs you from behind, starts kissing on your neck, smirks to the camera? You can't exactly ignore him. The straw that broke the camel's back was when a mischievous look took over his eyes and next thing you knew, your boyfriend was giving you fake backshots and then quickly leaving the frame. You rolled your eyes and ended the video; shouting at your boyfriend but laughing with him at the same time. You still posted the video though...

Boyfriend!Vinnie who's more than happy to show off his strength not only to the camera but to you when you ask him to do a trend using Sabrina Carpenter's 'Slim Pickins'. As the audio played 'A boy who's jacked n kind, can't find his ass to save my life', you faked looking around as Vinnie stood behind you. As soon as the lyric ended, Vinnie had lifted you up and placed you on just ONE of his shoulders; holding you in place by wrapping his arm around your thighs. Holy shit this man is truly jacked.

Boyfriend!Vinnie who has the cutest and funniest reaction to the 'my current boyfriend' trend. You had told Vinnie that you were doing a 'never have I ever', but when you started the video with "Me and my current boyfriend are doing a..." anything else you said went in one ear and out the other. You held in a laugh as you saw your boyfriend's funny, confused and shocked face on your screen. But you had to break character when Vinnie quickly shot back with "Me and my ex-boyfriend are doing a fuckin' whatever- what did you just say? 'Me n my current boyfriend'? I will punch you in the dick" That reaction made you break out into a cackle. You had to apologise profusely after that one~

Boyfriend!Vinnie who didn't expect people to even thirst over your eyes and his when the two of you did the eye trend. It was cute n all but god damn were those comments filled with compliments on things as miniscule are your eye shape! People were saying that you and Vinnie were 'meant to be together 'cause your eye shapes are complimentary'. Like WHAT?! You didn't mind the compliments and affirmation though~

Boyfriend!Vinnie who's fifty-fifty on all of the attention the two of you receive, but one thing's for sure. And that's that Vinnie fucking loves you, and he loves that he gets to show off that you're his to anyone willing to watch.

[jurassic-falls]

Reblogging this because admin #2 did an absolutely AMAZING job with helping design Bill. His outfit is a reference to Dr. Ellie Sattler in the first Jurassic park movie!! He’s also got a bunch of star tattoos in various places

my COMPUTER is holding my DRAWINGS from CLIP STUDIO PAINT freaking HOSTAGE.

peace and love this is the human bill design that has been living in my (our? i cant read minds admin #1 you tell me) head and i had to be held at gunpoint to post it.

hes kinda silly. kinda girlypop. hes a stupid boyscout and i will be fixing the drawing and the quality when my screen protector comes in and i can freak fracking draw again.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Kickstarting a new Martin Hench novel about the dawn of enshittification

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/07/weird-pcs/#a-mormon-bishop-an-orthodox-rabbi-and-a-catholic-priest-walk-into-a-personal-computing-revolution

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by @wilwheaton:

http://martinhench.com

This is the third Hench novel, following on from the nationally bestselling The Bezzle (2024) and Red Team Blues (2023). I wrote Red Team Blues with a funny conceit: what if I wrote the final volume of a beloved, long-running series, without writing the rest of the series? Turns out, the answer is: "Your editor will buy a whole bunch more books in the series!"

My solution to this happy conundrum? Write the Hench books out of chronological order. After all, Marty Hench is a financial hacker who's been in Silicon Valley since the days of the first PCs, so he's been there for all the weird scams tech bros have dreamed up since Jobs and Woz were laboring in their garage over the Apple I. He's the Zelig of high-tech fraud! Look hard at any computing-related scandal and you'll find Marty Hench in the picture, quietly and competently unraveling the scheme, dodging lawsuits and bullets with equal aplomb.

Which brings me to Picks and Shovels. In this volume, we travel back to Marty's first job, in the 1980s – the weird and heroic era of the PC. Marty ended up in the Bay Area after he flunked out of an MIT computer science degree (he was too busy programming computers to do his classwork), and earning his CPA at a community college.

Silicon Valley in the early eighties was wild: Reaganomics stalked the land, the AIDS crisis was in full swing, the Dead Kennedys played every weekend, and man were the PCs ever weird. This was before the industry crystalized into Mac vs PC, back when no one knew what they were supposed to look like, who was supposed to use them, and what they were for.

Marty's first job is working for one of the weirder companies: Fidelity Computing. They sound like a joke: a computer company run by a Mormon bishop, a Catholic priest and an orthodox rabbi. But the joke's on their customers, because Fidelity Computing is a scam: a pyramid sales cult that exploits religious affinities to sell junk PCs that are designed to lock customers in and squeeze them for every dime. A Fidelity printer only works with Fidelity printer paper (they've gimmicked the sprockets on the tractor-feed). A Fidelity floppy drive only accepts Fidelity floppies (every disk is sold with a single, scratched-out sector and the drives check for an error on that sector every time they run).

Marty figures out he's working for the bad guys when they ask him to destroy Computing Freedom, a scrappy rival startup founded by three women who've escaped from Fidelity Computing's cult: a queer orthodox woman who's been kicked out of her family; a radical nun who's thrown in with the Liberation Theology movement in opposing America's Dirty Wars; and a Mormon woman who's quit the church in disgust at its opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment. The women of Computing Freedom have a (ahem) holy mission: to free every Fidelity customer from the prison they were lured into.

Marty may be young and inexperienced, but he can spot a rebel alliance from a light year away and he knows what side he wants to be on. He joins the women in their mission, and we're deep into a computing war that quickly turns into a shooting war. Turns out the Reverend Sirs of Fidelity Computer aren't just scammers – they're mobbed up, and willing to turn to lethal violence to defend their racket.

This is a rollicking crime thriller, a science fiction novel about the dawn of the computing revolution. It's an archaeological expedition to uncover the fossil record of the first emergence of enshittification, a phenomenon that was born with the PC and its evil twin, the Reagan Revolution.

The book comes out on Feb 15 in hardcover and ebook from Macmillan (US/Canada) and Bloomsbury (UK), but neither publisher is doing the audiobook. That's my department.

Why? Well, I love audiobooks, and I especially love the audiobooks for this series, because they're read by the incredible Wil Wheaton, hands down my favorite audiobook narrator. But that's not why I retain my audiobook rights and produce my own audiobooks. I do that because Amazon's Audible service refuses to carry any of my audiobooks.

Here's how that works: Audible is a division of Amazon, and they've illegally obtained a monopoly over the audiobook market, controlling more than 90% of audiobook sales in many genres. That means that if your book isn't for sale on Audible, it might as well not exist.

But Amazon won't let you sell your books on Audible unless you let them wrap those books in "digital rights management," a kind of encryption that locks them to Audible's authorized players. Under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, it's a felony punishable with a 5-year sentence and a $500k fine to supply you with a tool to remove an audiobook from Audible and play it on a rival app. That applies even if the person who gives you the tool is the creator of the book!

You read that right: if I make an audiobook and then give you the tools to move it out of Amazon's walled garden, I could go to prison for five years! That's a stiffer sentence than you'd face if you were to just pirate the audiobook. It's a harsher penalty than you'd get for shoplifting the book on CD from a truck-stop. It's more draconian than the penalty for hijacking the truck that delivers the CDs!

Amazon knows that every time you buy an audiobook from Audible, you increase the cost you'll have to pay if you switch to a competitor. They use that fact to give readers a worse deal (last year they tried out ads in audiobooks!). But the people who really suffer under this arrangement are the writers, whom Amazon abuses with abandon, knowing they can't afford to leave the service because their readers are locked into it. That's why Amazon felt they could get away with stealing $100 million from indie audiobook creators (and yup, they got away with it):

https://www.audiblegate.com/about

Which is why none of my books can be sold with DRM. And that means that Audible won't carry any of them.

For more than a decade, I've been making my own audiobooks, in partnership with the wonderful studio Skyboat Media and their brilliant director, Gabrielle de Cuir:

https://skyboatmedia.com/

I pay fantastic narrators a fair wage for their work, then I pay John Taylor Williams, the engineer who masters my podcasts, to edit the books and compose bed music for the intro and outro. Then I sell the books at every store in the world – except Audible and Apple, who both have mandatory DRM. Because fuck DRM.

Paying everyone a fair wage is expensive. It's worth it: the books are great. But even though my books are sold at many stores online, being frozen out of Audible means that the sales barely register.

That's why I do these Kickstarter campaigns, to pre-sell thousands of audiobooks in advance of the release. I've done six of these now, and each one was a huge success, inspiring others to strike out on their own, sometimes with spectacular results:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/books/2022/04/01/brandon-sanderson-kickstarter-41-million-new-books/7243531001/

Today, I've launched the Kickstarter for Picks and Shovels. I'm selling the audiobook and ebook in DRM-form, without any "terms of service" or "license agreement." That means they're just like a print book: you buy them, you own them. You can read them on any equipment you choose to. You can sell them, give them away, or lend them to friends. Rather than making you submit to 20,000 words of insulting legalese, all I ask of you is that you don't violate copyright law. I trust you!

Speaking of print books: I'm also pre-selling the hardcover of Picks and Shovels and the paperbacks of The Bezzle and Red Team Blues, the other two Marty Hench books. I'll even sign and personalize them for you!

http://martinhench.com

I'm also offering five chances to commission your own Marty Hench story – pick your favorite high-tech finance scam from the past 40 years of tech history, and I'll have Marty bust it in a custom short story. Once the story is published, I'll make sure you get credit. Check out these two cool Little Brother stories my previous Kickstarter backers commissioned:

Spill

https://reactormag.com/spill-cory-doctorow/

Vigilant

https://reactormag.com/vigilant-cory-doctorow/

I'm heading out on tour this winter and spring with the book. I'll be in LA, San Francisco, San Diego, Burbank, Bloomington, Chicago, Richmond VA, Toronto, NYC, Boston, Austin, DC, Baltimore, Seattle, and other dates still added. I've got an incredible roster of conversation partners lined up, too: John Hodgman, Charlie Jane Anders, Dan Savage, Ken Liu, Peter Sagal, Wil Wheaton, and others.

I hope you'll check out this book, and come out to see me on tour and say hi. Before I go, I want to leave you with some words of advance praise for Picks and Shovels:

I hugely enjoyed Picks and Shovels. Cory Doctorow’s reconstruction of the age is note perfect: the detail, the atmosphere, ethos, flavour and smell of the age is perfectly conveyed. I love Marty and Art and all the main characters. The hope and the thrill that marks the opening section. The superb way he tells the story of the rise of Silicon Valley (to use the lazy metonym), inserting the stories of Shockley, IBM vs US Government, the rise of MS – all without turning journalistic or preachy.

The seeds of enshittification are all there… even in the sunlight of that time the shadows are lengthening. AIDS of course, and the coming scum tide of VCs. In Orwellian terms, the pigs are already rising up on two feet and starting to wear trousers. All that hope, all those ideals…

I love too the thesis that San Francisco always has failed and always will fail her suitors.

Despite cultural entropy, enshittification, corruption, greed and all the betrayals there’s a core of hope and honour in the story too.

-Stephen Fry

Cory Doctorow writes as few authors do, with tech world savvy and real world moral clarity. A true storyteller for our times.

-John Scalzi

A crackling, page-turning tumble into an unexpected underworld of queer coders, Mission burritos, and hacker nuns. You will fall in love with the righteous underdogs of Computing Freedom—and feel right at home in the holy place Doctorow has built for them far from Silicon Valley’s grabby, greedy hands."

-Claire Evans, editor of Motherboard Future, author of Broad Band: The Untold Story of the Women Who Made the Internet.

"Wonderful…evokes the hacker spirit of the early personal computer era—and shows how the battle for software freedom is eternal."

-Steven Levy, author of Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution and Facebook: The Inside Story.

What could be better than a Martin Hench thriller set in 1980s San Francisco that mixes punk rock romance with Lotus spreadsheets, dot matrix printers and religious orders? You'll eat this up – I sure did.

-Tim Wu, Special Assistant to the President for Technology and Competition Policy, author of The Master Switch: The Rise and Fall of Information Empires

Captures the look and feel of the PC era. Cory Doctorow draws a portrait of a Silicon Valley and San Francisco before the tech bros showed up — a startup world driven as much by open source ideals as venture capital gold.

-John Markoff, Pulitzer-winning tech columnist for the New York Times and author of What the Doormouse Said: How the Sixties Counterculture Shaped the Personal Computer Industry

You won't put this book down – it's too much fun. I was there when it all began. Doctorow's characters and their story are real.

-Dan'l Lewin, CEO and President of the Computer History Museum

[megaten-and-other-polls]

Megaten Funny Little Guy Tournament: THE FINAL MATCH