#the hand of a damn bastard. 🖕

[leemafer]

It's not impressive, but it turned out decent, it turned out well.

a bastard's hand. 🖕

[tea-potato-gt]

Hunted in the Shadows as memes part 2! (Spoilers ahead!)

@marydublinauthor @kendsleyauthor @bittykimmy13

Hunted in thr Shadows Memes part 1 / part 3

Other Shot in the Dark memes here: part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / predictions / Pirates AU⬇️ / Shards & other memes

***

Chapter 9

The poisoned air was giving:

Why didn’t they leave Sylv with Hannah? I know why, plots gotta plot, but damn.

Gwen (@cliff) stay safe🙂‍↕️… Gwen (@ Jon) I hope you die.🖕

Who is Luke?? And what did Jon do??

There’s so much lore and drama that’s just being hinted at, and y’all aren’t going into any detail. It’s driving me nuts.

This is literally the WILDEST three pages I’ve ever read. And it’s still going. 137-139. I had to put the book down✅ when Cliff asked if Jon would date him, I was caught so far off guard. My brain had to reboot.

Jon saying Cliff was too short, when Sylvia is literally six inches tall 💀💀

Sir, Jon is very straight. It’s unfortunately incurable and terminal 😔.

Return of the evil squirrels 🐿️😈

Chapter 10

Gwen calling Jon a revolving door and saying two months is his longest relationship. Damn, get wrecked Jon.

Jon killed Luke. I’m shook. I literally gasped out loud. ✅

Gwen thinks Jon cant tell the difference between love and guilt and that’s why he’s with Sylvia. 💀😭

“I had hope for your kind. Thought you might be different than the other bastards out there, now? I know better.” 163 Gwen, that’s prejudice. That’s racism. 🤨

Chapter 11

Jon seeing the fear on the vampies face and thinking it’s like Sylvia’s… “this was nothing like that” my foot.

177 pages in and Rhett appears. Cliff ready to throw hands.

Rhett has mommy issues?? Oop. And Rhett just dropped the wildest insult (187) 👁️👄👁️

I have theories as to why Rhett is so interested in Cliff, and I don’t like any of them 😟 (more on that in a later post.)🫨

Chapter 12

Sylvia looking around to see if Jon is glaring at someone else lol

Sylvia cutting his face and immediately wanting to apologize:

Girl, this not the time to be thinking those freaky thoughts! (200) You’re fighting for your life here!

Love?! Love! She admits she loves him!!!

Oh thank goodness it’s over. But we’re half way though the book. What more torment must I face??

Chapter 13

Jon admits Sylvia could have killed him if there wasn’t any Iron. Cliff collecting the money 💀💀💀💀 “You bet against me.” ✅❓Cliff being protective of his friends. 😊 Cliff father mention alert nooooooo. 🤢“I’m not left handed” is a cold line. Rhett KO. Cliff carrying Gwen like a sack of potatoes🥔. Oop! Sylvia is holding up an entire bridge, with a human man on top, Like she is really getting strong in this book, damn girl. 💪 Sylv putting herself between Rhett and the boys. She is protective 🥰Rhett talking about taming fairies 💀 I don’t like that. What nest egg?? Cliff has some cash saved somewhere? For what?

All the outpost members finding Rhett frozen:

Chapter 14

Sylvia cries (232)✅

Cliff assuming Sylvia’s dad died 💀

Sylv has a gem stone addiction like gollum.

Cliff tragic back story ✅

“Well, maybe he did have a point along the way. Look at me— violence is all I’m good for.” 237 nooo baby boy nooo😭😭😭

Cliff just gives this vibe:

(Me: awww that’s so sweet, Cliff hugging Sylvia and comforting her.) (Sylvia: I want to bite him.) (Me: Gurl? 🤨📸)

Me when it’s a nice tender🥹🥰 scene and then Sylvia asks is Cliff would f*ck her if she was human.😮😨Like homegirl it’s 1am. Again the return of the WILD pages that I wasn’t mentally ready for lol (240-242).

Cliff feels guilty for what happened to Sylvia ✅ (242)

Sylvia and Cliff walking back into the motel room: (Jon really had a drunken crash out while they were gone.)

I just realized, they are pouring dirt in their bed. That stuff must be getting everywhere: “you have disturbed the dirt.”

Cliff giving Sylvia fake Spanish to mess with them is so funny.

I don’t know much Spanish, but I know enough to spot I love you 🥳🥳🥳 (It’s a drunken confession, but a win is a win!)

***

And That's all for now, see you next time!

Hunted in the Shadows memes part 1 / part 3

Other Shot in the Dark memes here: part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / predictions / Pirates AU⬇️ / Shards & other memes

[the-most-humble-blog]

✋ IT’S TIME FOR THE ANNUAL SEVERED HAND MARKET, YOU FILTHY, ONE-HANDED BASTARDS! ✋

(Where Your Lost Fingers and Jerk-Off Hand Become Currency! No Refunds, No Regrets.)

Ahhh, that special time of year again in Hive Brutix-4, where the desperate, the insane, and the downright dumbass line up to sell their own goddamn limbs like they’re at a f***ing farmer’s market.

Here in the lower hives, cash is for cowards. If you can live without it, you can sell it. And nothing says "I needed rent money" quite like showing up next week missing your dominant fapping hand.

This isn’t just a festival. This isn’t just an economy. This is a full-contact, blood-soaked, limb-hacking free-for-all where the question isn’t whether you’ll lose a hand—it’s whether you’ll be the dumb f* who trades BOTH and realizes too late you still need to wipe your ass.**

So sharpen your probably unclean knives, chug a bottle of gut-rot liquor, and let’s f***ing GO.

🔥 THE RULES: HANDS OFF (OR ON, IF YOU STILL HAVE THEM) 🔥

🖐 ONE HAND = ONE PURCHASE.

Need a day’s worth of corpse-starch? That’ll cost you a pinky.

Need a place to sleep that isn’t a roach-infested f*ing sewer pipe? That’s a whole damn hand.**

Need medicine? Hope you enjoy taking pills with your f*ing feet, pal.**

💰 THE MARKET DECIDES VALUE.

Freshly severed hands? Premium quality.

Calloused, working-class hands? Valuable as f*.**

Soft noble hands? Worthless. Nobody respects a bitch-ass noble with moisturized fingers.

Still twitching? Bonus credits! Nothing makes a better conversation piece than a hand that occasionally flips people off by itself.

✂️ HOW YOU LOSE IT MATTERS.

Self-amputated? Good s*, that’s dedication.**

Lost in a fight? Discounted. Nobody wants a f***ing loser hand.

Torn off by accident? Basically worthless. If you can’t even keep track of your own damn limbs, why should anyone pay you for them?

🏆 "LUCKY LEFTY" PRIZE:

The best-preserved jerk-off hand of the festival wins an extra ration of booze, a high-grade servo-replacement, and the eternal respect of degenerates everywhere.

🩸 HAND TRADE & ECONOMY 🩸

What’s your dominant hand worth? Well, that depends.

👊 Lost a pinky? Trade it for half a liter of sump booze. 🤚 Gave up an entire hand? That gets you a week’s worth of food. 🖕 Traded in your jerk-off hand? Congratulations, dumbass. I hope you like using your teeth for things you REALLY shouldn’t.

🤷‍♂️ No hands left? Well, f*.**

That’s what prosthetics are for.

Or find someone even more f*ed than you and trade for theirs.**

Or just accept that your life is now a depressing series of stumpy struggles.

🎉 Festival Highlight: "Guess That Hand"—A mystery box full of severed hands. You pick one, and whatever condition it’s in, that’s your new one. No refunds, no complaints, no dignity.

⚔️ THE HAND-TO-HAND TOURNAMENT (FIGHT FOR YOUR F*ING HANDS BACK)**

You didn’t think you had to lose a hand forever, did you?

🥊 The Rules Are Simple:

Lost a hand? Win it back.

Bare-knuckle, one-handed brawling in the "Flesh Pit."

KO your opponent, and you get HIS hand instead.

The loser gets f* all except shame and a half-drunk enforcer pissing on their stump.**

💀 Bonus Round: "Last Hand Standing"—A battle royale where the last intact hand wins a golden fingerbone charm.

☠️ THE INFAMOUS BLACK MARKET HAND DEALERS

Not everyone trades their own hand. Some "entrepreneurs" prefer to take them off someone else.

💀 "The Clipper’s Guild" – These lunatics specialize in quick, efficient, non-lethal amputations. Their motto? "Faster Than Gangrene!"

💀 "The Five-Finger Discount Crew" – Need a specific hand? They’ll "acquire" one for you. (The original owner might not be thrilled, but f* ‘em.)**

💀 "Doctor Limb-Loss" – A deranged Tech-Priest who replaces your hands with whatever horrifying mechanical monstrosity he’s been fing around with.** You might wake up with servo-claws, a chainsaw attachment, or something that just fing screams at random.**

🔥 FINAL EVENT: THE GRAND HAND LOTTERY 🔥

🎲 EVERYONE WHO LOSES A HAND GETS ENTERED. 🎲 A RANDOM WINNER GETS A BRAND NEW PROSTHETIC. 🎲 IF IT KILLS THEM, THE HAND GOES BACK IN THE POOL.

🔥 CLOSING CEREMONY: THE PARADE OF STUMPS 🔥

At the end of the festival, all the poor bastards who made terrible fing choices** line up in a parade to show off their missing limbs, horrific replacements, and generally sty life choices.**

The crowd cheers, jeers, and throws rotten food at them for entertainment. The lucky ones get a free bandage. The unlucky ones get laughed at until they pass out.

But that’s life in the underhive.

Some leave richer. Some leave prosthetically enhanced. Some leave with absolutely no hands left and a serious f*ing regret complex.**

And some? Well… some don’t leave at all. But that’s a problem for next year’s Severed Hand Market.

💀 REBLOG if you’d trade a pinky for corpse-starch. 🔥 COMMENT how much you think your jerk-off hand is worth. 🚀 FOLLOW for more grimdark festival insanity from the Underhive.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Otis B Driftwood x Reader || Excerpt

Plot:

Nasty Pimp: *Tries to put hands on you* Otis (Who is nastier): 💥!🖕🖕🏒!🔨!🔨!... 🩸.. 🩸.. 🩸...

Warnings!!!!: The setting is a nasty home-brothel, the main characters are you, Otis and a gross pimp called Ritchie Fat-Tits McCoy, and uh- oh yeah, genitalia mutilation. I think that covers it.

"Hey- what do you we have, here?"

"Otis!" You cry, relief flooding through you as you slip away from the guy (Ritchie 'Fat-Tits' McCoy, brothel owner and yours and Otis' and the others' host for tonight's night of depravity) and jumping up from the couch which you're pretty sure is the home to some feral mammal by the smell and the... movement. Otis' dark, heavy-set eyes follow you carefully and non-too-happily as you get behind him, where you feel safe, before roaming down to Ritchie again.

"... So? Y'gonna answer me?"

Ritchie does not understand the peril he is in right now, grinning lazily back at Otis. "Aw, mate don't be like that. The bitch and I were just talkin'- You cant blame me for gettin' a few feels in too; What can I say?" His eyes float over to your thighs shifting in his mammalian infested couch to make his bulge more comfortable. "I'm an animal."

Your lips form a firm line, your eyes hardening as you look away; Feeling sick.

... Otis gives a huff, almost a chuckle, a sound that could almost denote pleasantness if you didn't know him well- or even not so well- or you didn't just look at his face. You don't need to look at his face, because you do know the bastard well, but you can picture it; An evil sneer dragging his face apart and a murderous sparkle in his dead-eyes as he glances around the room . "... cant blame you, huh?? Ehh, well... "

"No harm no foul- Didnt even get my fingers wet." Ritchie shrugs, still not getting it. He is two seconds from irreparable brain damage, or losing his nut sack- if he's lucky. "Just c'mon, siddown with me and- hey, Cass! Grab us 2 warm beers, and don't you fucken spit in them again yeah? Not into that, no- I'm not into that fucken shit!"

You watch as Otis' eyes flicker to a broken hockey stick, just one of the useless, dank trash-things thrown around in this shit-hole; The edge sharp, jagged and dipped in some dark mystery liquid. Casually, he picks it up and you peer around him to catch a smirk on his scary face. Oh, no.

"Ritch, you have got some balls on you." Otis comments, hitting one palm with the end of the hockey gently; Testing its durability.

"... huh?"

Then there was screaming. Blood curdling, all-consuming man-screaming. With one calculated and yet savage thrust, Otis has forced the infected, jagged end of that old broken hocket stick directly into Ritchie's bulge. And its like something popped, because with a crack and a squish, there's suddenly blood, everywhere.

You just stand there, eyes wide and frozen. You were expecting it, but its still horrible.

After twisting the jagged wood in his groin, Otis yanks it out and drops the weapon off to the side; Every movement methodical, and tired. Almost like he didn't even take joy in what he's just done, he just felt like it needed to be done. Eyes flickering over to him, you reach for his arm and wrap you arms around it, almost in a traumatised trance.

He allows you to curl around his arm, but his attention is still on Ritch- writhing and hands twitching towards the bloody, meaty mess. Still screaming and yelling.

"What can I say? Heheh." Finally, a genuine grin slips across Otis' mouth. "I'm an animal, Ritch! We're all just animals, right?" Suddenly the smile's wiped off his face again, as you watch; Your fingers tighten on him simultaneously. He truly is, completely insane. "Cant fucken blame me."

Ritchie doesn't say a damn thing, though you aren't sure he could if he wanted to. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch sight of both Spaulding and Baby sighing and dropping whatever they were doing; Ready to go now since Otis ruined the fun. While all the blood in his body seems to gush out of the filthy bastards privates and he grows sickly pale, Otis shakes you off his arm abruptly, just to throw it over your shoulders, instead, pulling you warm into his body. He smells and theirs old and fresh blood alike soaking his shirt, but you're used to it. And you're happy to have your freak wrapped around you, protecting you, making you warm.

"C'mon now, sweethart- I'm sure we can find somethin better to do tonight." Turning you both, Otis starts towing you out of the gross little home brothel. "See ya, Ritch. Have a fucken night."

[anyathefandom]

To Those Fortunate Enough Chapter 28:

@burned-lariat

Sonny: Brando…" the man sighed, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked a few times, looking around the room as best he could before seeing his cousin seated to his right. Brando's smile was a mix of sadness and relief, his hands on his thighs, "What…happened?"

"I found you, Frank, and Michael all laying in the fire. You guys were shot: Michael in the stomach, Frank in the shoulder, and you in the leg."

Me:

Wallace really said fuck around and find out 😂

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Brando nodded slightly, "I mean, I was a little shaken up when I saw you three, and it was hard to breathe with all the smoke, but I'm fine."

"I hope that…Sasha and your mom know that too…""They do," the younger man chuckled, "Just got off the phone with them."

Me: My brasha heart 😭 I miss them🥺 fuck heather Webber fr fr!

Sonny: Unfortunately. Thanks to that rat bastard, my stock is gone, my son and I are hurt, my premier bodyguard is out of commission."

Wallace walking away from causing significant damage:

Deputy Mayor…" Dante sighed as Eileen Ashby walked his way, an officer by her side, "What brings you by?"

"I came by to see how our police force was doing. I understand you all have been going through some���changes."

"Yeah, we have. Are you behind it?"

"I may or may not have made some…decisions about the PCPD. I have it on good authority that some officers and detectives here aren’t doing the kind of work that’s expected of them. As such, we trimmed the fat and fired the underperformers.”

“And that included me?” Dante asked, “Who’s your ‘authority?’”

“Me.”

Me:

I'm so glad her bitch ass is dead in canon😌

It took everything in Dante not to react to Victor's smirk. The old man strolled into the main lobby, two of his own goons close behind, "Detective Falconeri, lovely to see you."

Me:

You convinced the deputy mayor to fire me?”

“Not just you. Plenty of employees here aren’t good at their job. I just opened the deputy mayor’s eyes to who those employees are.”

Me: I...he ain't wrong.🥴 Like Dante is legit the only who I would let keep his job though.

Okay but the way Victor is moving is really what should've happened in canon instead of that man just talking about uniting the family for 2 and half years.🙈

Victor to Dante: Wallace is a criminal and deserves to pay for his misdeeds. Don't tell me you're being selective about lawbreakers."

Me:

Like Victor really loves being ironic.

Michael: "I'd rather talk to my family: my mom, my sister, my girlfriend and our son. And even then, I have nothing to say to him."

Me: Damn well Krissy, Dante, Avery, and Donna said fuck you then 🖕🖕

Brando to Michael: "You hired a mob mole to take your father down and you think you don't owe him an apology for that?"

"Dex was not just a mole-"

Me: Wow Brando really doesn't understand that Dex is so much more to Michael 🌝

Sidenote: My Mex agenda is still going strong.😂

It’s not just about Nina!”

“That’s a lie! You two had no problems until Sonny cheated on your mom with her-”

“Enough, Brando! Enough! You want me to call Sonny and make up with him? Fine!” Michael shouted, hastily grabbing his cell phone and dialing Sonny’s number, “Hopefully this gets you off my back about it. If I pop a stitch because of this, it’s your fault.”

Me: Mans really ain't gonna admit that his feelings of hurt is because his parents aren't together anymore.🥴

Sonny really went off that man and basically said "You're a bitch who did a punk bitch thing so screw your half assed apology " and I cackled.😂

[animesllut666]

Knowing Toji Fushiguro before he was your stepdad..

Part two

Anime: Jujutsu Kaisen

Type: Headcannon

Characters: Toji fushiguro x FemaleReader ft. Megumi an Tsumiki

Warnings: Cursing, mention of violence, mention of unsafe environment.

Summary: You knew Toji, before you knew he was fucking your mom. So how would it be when you found out, they got married and he was now your ✨stepdad✨.

GIF IS NOT MY OWN, CREDIT TOO CREATOR

-------------------------------------

You were walking back from work one night, not the safest area

But you like your job, the owners were nice and actually worked with your school schedule

Sure, did you bring pepper spray with you and carry a little knife cuz you've gotten trailed before?

YES THE FUCK YOU DID

And tonight was no different, cuz there was someone following you right now.

You gripped your pepper spray in your hand tightly, and the second you felt a hand grab your shoulder?

You whipped around and swiped the safety off and pressed on the release button

Just... It wasn't the person that had been following you in the first place

Instead... It was Toji. Just you didn't know this beefy guys name just yet

"OMFG JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THIS?"

"GET AWAY YOU SICK BASTARD!!! YOU LEECH!!"

The guy that WAS following you, retreated in the other direction 🏃💨⬆️

Cuz he just witnessed you flip a 6'0, 120+ guy over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes ☺️

He wasn't going to get that handed to him next 👐🙌

"STOP! I WAS TRYING TO TELL YA SOMEONE WAS FOLLOWING YOU!" he cried out, his eyes red and puffy. As he (tried) squinted at you, tears in his eyes.

You weren't convinced at all, till you glanced around and saw the real creep running off

"... Oh ..."

"Yeah" He scowled at you, the effects somewhat starting to wear off

"Damn, that's what I get for trying to do something good."

" I didn't ask you to come be my stereotypical, knight in shining armor." You stated, crossing your arms over your chest. Though you felt slightly bad

Just slightly though, cuz the second he opened his mouth again, you wanted to spray him again

"I'm surprised a little weak girl like you was able to toss me over your shoulder like that, I'm impressed"

Yep pepper spray time

And you tried

Just this time?

He anticipated it

Grabbing your wrist and twisting it back, spinning you around for your back to hit his chest. His mouth inches from your ear

"Don't try that again okay do-FUCK!" He groaned as you whipped your head back to hit him in his face

His dumb handsome face

"God youre a PERVERT!"

"IM NOT A PERVERT! WILL YOU STOP ASSAULTING ME?!"

"...no..."

It got deadass silent after that, and now you both were just standing

🧍🏼‍♀️🧍

The fuq we do now?

"I'm Fushiguro Toji... And you?"

"Y/N"

"That's it? Just a first name after I just saved you."

And you just walked away, cuz really who was this weird dude? Built like a damn OX, wearing those sweats and black shirt and had a weird looking worm wrapped around him

"Bye Mr. man titties! Have a nice night" You waved the middle finger in a wave 🖕

You thought it was the last time seeing this strange dude

But NOPE 🤣

He waited outside the building whenever you worked

Just waiting

"You know I'm not into older men that are like you"

"Well that's good cuz I'm not into arrogant little girls like you"

And it became a routine

He'd show up and walk you too at least the out skirts of where you lived

And then would just

*POOF * be gone

"So... You got a life or what?" You asked one night, eating some ramen in the park outside where you lived. Plus you didn't want to go home just yet, you knew your sister was at a friend's house and your mom was god's know wherever.

"Not really, what about you? What teen wants to be eating ramen with a handsome older man like me? I clearly don't look like sugar daddy material."

You snorted, "Your not wrong there" you earned a slight kick to the leg from that

But you two actually became friends

Or somewhat, sure there was a bit of an age difference, and you really didn't know much about him an the same with him for you

Though you knew he wasn't a big fan of being touched, was a BIT of a whore, and was in and out of work

You even joked once that he must be an assassin with how on edge and paranoid he was, that and his reflex's were way to good for a "Brazilian Jui jitsu black belt"

So you finally asked him, "What do you do? " And you kept asking each time you saw him. Till well.. one day he just stopped showing up

And to be honest, you were upset 😢😭

Like you both have been doing this for the past 3 months... And he just *poof* without a trace

Doesn't even warn your ass

So imagine YOUR surprise when you get home, kind of bummed cuz it's the third week in a row that you haven't seen your gloomy and sarcastic ... Friend.

"Hey mom! Your ho- What the fuck?" You gasp in disbelief

Cuz there HE IS

SITTING ON THE FUCKING COUCH SIPPING A DRINK

DOESNT EVEN BAT AN EYELASH JUST LOOKS YOU DEAD IN THE EYES WITH THOSE (dead and emotionless) GREEN EYES

"That's my oldest daughter, hun I'd like you to met Toji, he is .. well he is your step dad now."

You walk

The living FUCK

OUT OF THAT PLACE SO FAST

Just... WTF?

-----------------------------------------------

Part two possible? Let me know! Feed back is appreciated and encouraged.