#the length of this one got a bit out of hand. sorry for my ranting and/or gushing

[anyarose011]

Born Too Late III: "It Ain't Me, Babe"

Pairing: DBF!Michael 'Robby' Robinavitch x Reader

Summary: You're not out of the woods even after your roommate's crazy ex-boyfriend beat you to a pulp. Over a series of setbacks pushing you to the brink of several panic attacks (or is it just one really long one?), you still manage to find refuge in a few, safe people. But, in the words of Doechii "And just when it couldn't get worse", the worst possible person finds out about you and Robby...

Part 3 of 3 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Past Physical Assault, Blood, Inevitable Medical Inacuracies, Allusion/Mention of Sexual Assault, ANGST, Trent and Kimi, Reader has valid crashout(s), Healing of Daddy Issues?, Rant about a Real Criminology Concept, and a Realistic but Open-Ending.

I do have to say that this was one of my favorite stories to write on here. Not even for the purpose of Robby x Reader, I just loved the dynamics of all the characters and plot overall. I truly hope that the ending doesn't seem like a cop out; my intention was to write it as real as possible, especially since this all took place in one day. I'm tempted to write a prequel to this, showing all of the "missing scenes" alluded to throughout the story with Robby. We'll see how I feel lol. Thank you guys for ALL your interest, and hope you enjoy the ending! Sorry not sorry about the length, I yap 😭

Word Count: 9.2k

There were people you knew who had resting bitch faces. Dennis Whitaker was the first person you met to have a resting scared face.

That, and it was also because he asked you if you were okay, and you didn’t say anything.

He called your name. “Are you okay?”

Your mouth trembled as you tried to find the words. What left your lips must have been from the depths of your subconscious.

“Where-where’s my dad?”

You were outside of your body, but you couldn’t even see yourself. Hell, you didn’t feel like yourself.

Whitaker furrowed his brow. “Your…your dad?”

All you could do was nod.

“I’m not sure.” He responded gently. “Can I take your hand?”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. You wanted to cry, but you didn’t know why you couldn’t. Whitaker took your hand, leading you alongside him.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a bit; I know things have been crazy.” He smiled reassuringly.

“It’s okay.” You whispered.

“Have you eaten anything besides chocolate today?”

You shook your head. “Have you?”

“No.” He laughed. “We can go get something from one of the vending machines in the break room.”

“I want to go home.”

God, could you sound even more like a sniveling child?

Whitaker stopped just a few feet away from the elevator and so did you. He got a better look at you; either that, or he was finally saying everything he first noticed when he ran into you.

 “What happened to your nose?” He asked gently. “It’s kinda swollen.”

“I don’t know.”

Why did you say that so swiftly?

He frowned. “Were you crying just now? I think some of your mascara got onto your cheeks.”

Instinctively, you wiped your face with your free hand as if you would find any residue. You shook your head.

“It’s nothing.”

Whitaker took a deep breath, lowering his voice and saying your name. “I’m going to be honest, I think you should get checked out by someone here. It doesn’t have to be me, but I think something bad happened to you. You don’t have to tell me-.”

“-I’m fine.”

“But please, let me help you.”

It felt wrong, how he wanted to. No, it was his job to do that; there’s no way someone could see right through you when you were actually not doing well. You had relationships (friendships and romantic) where you had to earn the privilege of people caring for you.

You’d gotten used to it. Mainly with Kimi but also others who you thought were safe.

It felt like your skin was burning, and it was only then you realized you were still holding his hand. So, you dropped it.

“Thank you,” you felt like a puppet on strings as your mouth moved. “but really I’m fine.”

“Did you drive here?”

He wasn’t giving up.

“Yes.” You sighed. “I know what you’re doing, I can-.”

“-One of the guys on the night shift got here early and discharged me.” He interrupted, yet somehow, you weren’t annoyed. “We can go get your stuff and then get dinner. Anywhere you want, my treat. I mean, as long as it’s not like over a hundred bucks or something.”

You wondered if he was smiling out of nerves or trying to cheer you up. In your experience, it was usually both.

“I’ll drive.” You stated.

He thinned his lips. “You had a rough day; I can do it.”

You snorted. “So, if you’re driving my car, how are you getting home?”

“I’ll call an Uber.”

Usually, you would’ve made a joke about his male privilege and being so carefree about taking an Uber home late at night, but circumstances didn’t allow you to. Still, as if it hadn’t been one of the worst days of your life, a watery smile pulled onto your lips.

The ‘ding!’ of the elevator beside you made your head turn, and the doors slid open. Standing there, was Trent, seething. Blood coursed down from his nose to his chin, and where you once saw nothing behind his eyes, they were now filled with the rage you knew all too well.

You met his gaze the same time your soul left your body.

“You fucking bitch!” He charged you.

It happened all so fast.

Trent was just a hair away from you one moment, the next, Whitaker flung you behind him. You landed onto the ground, and when you looked up, you saw Whitaker go face first onto the floor beside you.

Crying in horror, you grabbed onto a nearby cart and pulled yourself onto your feet. Everything playing in your ears was simply noise; people were yelling and screaming, but you couldn’t make out a word they were saying.

It was only your eyes you could trust.

If they did not deceive you, you watched Jack Abbott tackle Trent to the ground; the first one to do so…When did he get there?

And, it was then that your vision began to blur as tears clouded your sight, that part of your hearing returned. As you stood there, with Jack holding Trent down, for verbatim, you heard.

“Did you get off my little girl when she told you to?!”

Someone wrapped their arm around your shoulders, turning you away, but something in your body told you that they were safe. You could barely see anything as you were led through the ER; only hazy objects and blaring lights. Someone was talking in your ear too, but again, it was just all noise upon the noise coming from the catastrophe behind you.

 You hadn’t even realized you were clinging to the person like a buoy in an ocean you were stranded in until you heard a door slide shut behind you. Like a miracle, your vision started clearing up, and air entered through your nose and into your lungs.

Then, the taste of blood on your tongue.

You touched your nose, pulling your hands away to see them coated in red.

Melissa King gently called your name, placing her hand on your back.

“You should sit down.” She moved away from you to dim the lights, and your eyes caught sight of one Heather Collins in the room as well, prepping one of the beds.

Somehow, just at the sight of a medical bed, did you finally realize how much everything hurt.

Yet, you couldn’t rest.

The little girl, practically a baby, the one who got stung by a bee, you had to make sure she was okay, you had to-!

Collins rested her hands on your shoulders, stopping you. “It’s okay. Robby checked on her a minute ago, she’s fine. You need to sit down.”

Did you say all of that aloud? Could she read your mind? Oh God, if she could, then does she know-?!

“-Holy fucking shit!” Santos opened the door, and you never knew her face could morph into such fear. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “Is Dennis okay?!”

He threw himself in front of you and was fucking pummeled to the floor!

Santos looked out the door before looking back. “I’m gonna be honest, his nose kinda looks messed up. But hey, you’re twinning.”

“Santos!” Collins scolded.

“Right, you’re right.” She nodded. “I’m so sorry I-.”

“-I heard you had a spinal tap to do.” Collins interrupted.

“I’ll go.” Santos gave one last look to you. “I’ll talk to you later, I swear.”

And then she left. It wasn’t the strangest, nor the quickest, interaction you had with someone…but fucking hell, this day.

Mel said your name again, but this time, strained. You looked at her and saw her gaze downwards at your pants. Following it, you saw blood seeping through the fabric around your groin.

Your jaw trembled as you looked back up at both her and Collins. As professionals, you knew they had seen worse than this. As women, you could see that familiar look of horror on their faces.

“He didn’t do anything.” Were your first words. “Not like that.”

“Baby…” Collins uttered.

“No, no,” You resisted. “I’m on my period! I-I-Mel, you gave me a pad this morning. I got him off me and-and I got it out and put it in his face so he’d stay off. I-I-I mean he bragged about pulling a girl’s tampon out of his mouth one time, so I didn’t think he’d overreact.”

What were you even saying?!

“I’ve had sex before! I-I would know, I would know if that bastard did something to me and-and-!” You hiccupped, feeling more blood seep through your nose and into your mouth.

“It’s okay,” Collins soothed. “we believe you. Can you sit down so I can assess you?”

What other choice did you have?

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you tried to catch the blood still gushing out of your nose before it could get on more of your clothes. Too late for that.

Mel went to one of the drawers nearby as Collins held up her finger. “Follow it.”

You did; passed with flying colors.

“EOM is intact.” She told herself, then took a mini flashlight from her pocket, shining it in your eyes. “Pupils are reactive. Do you have a headache?”

“Kinda.”

“Does it hurt to breathe through your nose?”

“Weird, but doesn’t hurt.”

Mel came beside you with a handful of tissues and a nasal tampon. “I’m going to clean up the area around your nose, and this should pack the bleeding.”

You hummed. “You got one for me to put between my legs?”

She shook her head.

“Extra pants?”

Collins slipped off her sweatshirt, draping it over your legs. “I got some in my locker, plus a pad.”

You nodded, getting choked up. “Thank you.”

“Mel,” she looked at her. “could you finish up?”

She affirmed. “Of course.”

“I’ll grab some icepacks.”

Collins left, leaving you alone with Mel. It felt strange; both your body and the entire day. Still, Mel wasn’t one to dwell on it, unlike you.

She brought the tissues up to your nose. “Your gonna feel some pressure.”

You grunted as she placed the Kleenex onto your nostrils. The white tissues turned red, and she carefully slid the tampon into your left nostril. Apparently, that was the only one bleeding.

Mel placed her thumbs on your face. “Tell me when you feel pressure.”

They traveled up around the area of your nose, and it was only when she touched the septum did you hiss in pain. Mel walked back over to the drawer, then taking out a few wet wipes.

“Well,” she hunched over, cleaning the blood off of you as gently as she could. “it’s not misshapen, so that’s good. It’s not broken either. Swollen and bruised, but all you really need are icepacks and I could get you some pain medication.”

“Could you take pictures?” You asked out of the blue.

 “I’m sorry?”

“Police usually take pictures of injuries for evidence, but could you?” You explained. “I just want to get it out of the way.”

Mel nodded. “Yeah, of course. Is it just your nose?”

You sighed. “No. It might be my head, I don’t know. He kicked me in the ribs…I think…yes, he did.”

“If you feel comfortable, would you want me to take pictures of those too?”

“Yes.” You said with certainty.

She backed up enough to give you space, taking out her phone. You decided to start with your ribs. They were tender, but thankfully, it wasn’t impossible to pull your shirt up. After Mel took a picture, you pulled it back down and she took a few photos of your nose and head.

“This is the worst photoshoot I’ve ever been in.” You joked.

“I’ve never been in one.” She stated.

“Let’s change that when the weather’s better.”

“Alright.” She put her phone away. “Now-.”

The door slid open, and in came Kimi like a bat out of hell.

“-What the hell did he do to you?!” She approached you.

Mel placed her hand on her shoulder. “You can’t be in here-.”

“-Fuck you, she’s my roommate.” She kneeled in front of you. “Baby, what happened?”

You hadn’t realized there was a long list of people you didn’t want to see at that moment, and she was near the top. You looked away, scowling and slipping the tampon out of your nose. Luckily, the blood finally stopped.

She didn’t take that as you being angry with her. She huffed. “Motherfucker. What’d you say to him?”

You finally looked at her. “What?”

“I’m just asking.” She explained. “He’s never done this before when I was a bitch, so you probably pissed him off-.”

You laughed. “-You’re an idiot.”

Kimi’s eyes shifted. At first, she was confused, then it quickly seeped into appalment. “What do you mean?”

You fell into a fit of giggles like Alice did down the rabbit hole. “I have told you hundreds, thousands, of times that whenever Trent hit something near you or me, then he actually wanted to hit one of us!”

Standing up, you weren’t laughing now. “And my God, I have never met someone who hates themselves so much, they bring a baby into the world for validation. But no, no, no, they’re not expecting to get it from the kid, they’re so fucking stupid they still think they’ll get it from the dad!”

The door slid open gently, and Collins came back in, carrying the pants, a single pad, and an ice pack. She said nothing.

Kimi didn’t lash out, and that’s what terrified you. Tears flew down her cheeks as you yelled at her, but she took a deep breath once you were finished.

“So, what should I do? Fuck my fifty-year-old boss?” She huffed. “How’s that working out for you?”

She marched out of the room, past Collins.

A part of you wished that Trent had killed you in the bathroom; you couldn’t feel shame if you were dead.

If not that, then you wished he somehow blinded you; just so that you wouldn’t have to see the way Heather Collins’s face dropped at the revelation.

Those two seconds in that room were brutal after Kimi left. Just where your gaze could only fall to the floor, and you didn’t even want to imagine the looks Mel and Collins were giving each other; or you.

“She has whiplash.” Collins said. “She can’t leave alone unless she signs an AMA.”

Just like that, you felt Mel hover her hand over your shoulder before retracting it and rushing out of the room. You stood there like a child who had just been yelled at, and didn’t dare to even breathe.

“How about we put these on?”

And Heather spoke to you like you were still one, but not with any hint of disdain in her voice. Hesitantly, you looked up and saw her holding the pants out to you. With shaking hands, you took them in yours.

She picked up her sweatshirt from the floor. “I’ll cover you. You can turn around if that makes you more comfortable.”

You nodded, and she draped the sweatshirt in front of you, giving you privacy from any peering eyes outside. Slowly, after getting your pants down to your knees, you slipped your underwear down; your ribs aching with every move. You managed to secure the pad, and as you tried to pull your pants all the way down, the sharpness in your side forced a hiss out of you.

“You need help?” She asked.

You shook your head immediately but seethed and clutched your ribs when you tried again. Collins set her sweatshirt aside, placing a comforting hand on your back and dropping down.

“I got it.”

She helped you out of your bloodied pants, and you placed your hands on her shoulders as you put one leg into each hole of the pants she got for you. Your eyes watered at the familiar feeling; how old were you the last time you did this? Seven? It’s so strange to remember such a small thing as your mother dressing you, not knowing when it would be the last time.

“There we go.” Collins smiled, standing back up, then guiding you to sit back down on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” You finally managed to say, even if it was barely above a whisper.

She shook her head, handing you an ice pack. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

She hates you. You told yourself.

You saw Kiara come to the door, and your heart leapt into your chest. She waited as Collins cracked it open, and they talked in hushed tones. In the end, Kiara came in and she sat at your side.

You had to cross your arms to keep yourself from throwing them around her. You doubt she would’ve cared, but it was strange; at that moment, you wanted to be held, but still would’ve felt like you were suffocating.

“Hey.” She greeted gently.

“Where is he?” You asked.

 “Well,” she began, not knowing exactly who you were asking for. “Whittaker’s being checked on, and he won’t stop asking if you’re alright. Trent was secured in a room, but the police just arrived so he’s in custody now. They want to talk to you, is that okay?”

You nodded. “If it’s a fucking man, I’m leaving.”

“There’s a woman.” She comforted. “She already volunteered to speak with you. At any point, if you want to stop-.”

“-I won’t.”

She said your name, warning but not to scare you. “I know you want justice; we all do. Still, you have to do what is best for you in the moment. You have every right to react the way you need to. Do you want Dr. Collins to be in here?”

You shook your head.

“Alright.” Kiara looked at her. “Could you send in officer Moreno, please?”

Collins nodded. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

Before you could say that her shift was over, she left. There you sat with Kiara, staring at an empty corner of the room. Without thinking, you laid your head on her shoulder. She said nothing; just ran her hand up and down your back as the officer came in.

It was different being the one to tell the police what happened to you. You were either in the cop’s position asking questions, or Kiara’s, just being a support for the other person.

Officer Moreno was nice enough. She never pushed you, but she wasn’t exactly comforting either. You understood she just wanted everything to write a report for, but you knew this wouldn’t be the last person you’d have to talk to.

The more you spoke about what happened to you in the last fifteen minutes (fuck…was that all it’d been?), the heavier your body became. You didn’t even feel a hint of fear or sadness within you; just the aching in your nose, and the exhaustion that swept over you.

Officer Moreno asked to take photos of your injuries, and you told her you’d taken them already, saying you’d give them to her.

“You’re efficient.” She complimented.

I have to be; you wouldn’t do anything if I wasn’t. You said in your head, but aloud you uttered. “Thanks.”

She left you with a phone number to send pictures to the police, a case number if you “remember anything else”, and a “Goodnight.”

That left you and Kiara together.

“Where’s Kimi?” You asked.

“She was calling her mom to pick her up last time I checked.” She answered. “Do you need a ride home?”

You shook your head. “I’ll get my dad to.”

“Dr. Abbott’s on call right now.”

Of course she knows.

“I can do it.” She offered.

“Kiara.” You said. “I’ll call a friend from my building.”

“I just want you to get home safe.”

“I will.” You smiled. “You’ve been here longer today. Go home.”

She sighed, standing. “You’re not coming in tomorrow. I’ll get Zidan to escort you out if you do.”

You forgot who that was for a moment, until you remembered him as the security guard. You were going to have to make him cookies or something; he probably had to deal with not just Trent, but a million other people.

Kiara said goodbye, giving you one last look before leaving. Just as you stood up to escape, Collins came back inside, carrying your purse and lunchbox.

“I’m sorry, I got the code from Jack.” She set them down. “How’re you feeling?”

You don’t know why, you had been asked that damn question countless times that day, but Collins asking it was the final nail in the coffin. Hours of repressed tears finally escaped your eyes, and you covered your mouth.

She immediately placed her hands on your arms, looking over you. “Are you in pain?”

“I’m sorry.” You hiccupped, rubbing your eyes.

“There’s nothing to-.”

“-Yes, there is!” You sobbed, and everything came out like a confession in a Catholic church. “I-I didn’t know you and Robby were together. I-I didn’t even know that he’d be a supervisor, or-or that I’d work with him, or even-or even that…”

Collins wrapped her arms around you, and you hid your head in her shoulder. She shushed. “I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No,” she pulled away, still holding onto you. “I’m not.”

You searched her face. You couldn’t find a hint of anger, but you knew she had to have felt something towards you. “Weren’t-weren’t you together…?”

“Not for a long time.” She shook her head.

You rubbed your face with your sleeve; you had cried all of your mascara off. Sighing, you picked up your belongings.

“I’ll wash your pants. Thanks.”

She laid a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Just wait a little bit.”

“You’re done with your shift, I’m done with mine.” You shrugged her off. “I’ll call a friend, I won’t drive.”

Except you would.

Collins said your name, and you only wished her goodnight, walking out the door. It was a miracle no one was instantly surrounding you, asking for answers to questions you had no energy to even listen to. You were making your way to the door to Chairs when-.

Your name left your stepfather’s mouth. You glanced to the side and saw him making a beeline towards you from across the room. Without any uncertainty, you turned around and walked back where you came from.

Like a demon in the night, you felt panic fester within you once again, just when you thought it was all over. You weren’t running, but your legs began to burn alongside your chest as you tried to find the nearest exit.

You pushed your way outside and found yourself in the ambulance bay. Still, despite there being only two paramedics and one security guard, there were still too many people. Your vision blurred once again, and you limped against the wall until you found the small opening to the alleyway.

Collapsing against the brick wall, you dropped everything you were holding and hid your eyes in your hands.

And you cried; really, truly cried.

Then crying turned into sobbing, then to weeping, then into you having to cover your mouth as you started wailing. You didn’t know when the walls of the alleyway started closing in on you, and neither did you know if it was your own shame or the walls crushing you to the point where it hurt to breathe.

You couldn’t even think. Every time you panicked, the weight of the world and all of your actions came into your head like a horrible flicker. Not now; no, there was nothing but white, hot pain.

“Put your head between your legs.”

They were just words. You couldn’t recognize the voice, but you listened. Knees bent, you bowed your head.

“Breathe.” The voice said, and it sounded deeper. “In and out. In and out.”

You did. The countless times you had to coach someone through an anxiety attack coming back to you.

It must’ve been another minute before you could feel your heart slow down and hear the ordinary sounds of the night; a pleasant mix of the bugs on the ground beside you, and a near-distant ringing of an ambulance.

“Rough day?”

It was Robby. That was the voice who had guided you through the second panic attack that day…or was it your third? Or had you just been in one that lasted a full half-hour?

You laughed upon looking at him, shaking your head and drying your eyes.

He offered a pitiful smile. “That bad?”

“Yeah.” You heaved. “Does this mean I’m doing a good job at coping if I’m laughing?”

Robby shrugged. “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.”

“I’ve done too much of that today.”

He nodded, not saying anything. You rested your head against the brick wall. Maybe it was better that you saw him after all the shit that hit you in such a short amount of time. In the end, tears and all, the whole day was just ridiculous.

“Do you want me to tell you what happened?” You asked.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He looked at you.

Sighing, you realized that, yes, you actually did.

“I wasn’t sexually assaulted.” You said it so easily. “It just…hurt, what he did. Nothing’s broken but I still feel like shit and it’s…it’s funny. I apologized. I was so unprofessional towards him, and I apologized, but he still did this. I did everything right and he still did this!”

Robby shook his head. “Don’t go down that road. Nothing you did to him could ever justify what he did to you.”

“No,” you didn’t even listen, tone laced with sarcasm. “I did so many things wrong now that I think about it. ‘Christie’s Ideal Victim, 1986’; there are five things that make the perfect victim. ‘She, always a she, is physically weaker than the attacker’; gold mine if she’s a kid or a grandma, so I did that wrong. ‘The victim is doing a respectable task when the attack happens’: I was having a mental breakdown, so debatable. ‘Next, the attack happens in a place she could not be blamed for being in’; I was in a sketchy as fuck bathroom in the basement, so yeah, my fault. ‘The offender is physically stronger’; holy shit, he was, so I did that one right! ‘Finally, the victim has no prior relationship to the offender; he is a stranger.’ Well shit, I failed the perfect victim test.”

He sighed, saying your name.

“I’m not done.” You said, voice shaking. “Now I added my own qualifications to this obviously bullshit concept we were taught for ‘educational purposes despite how out of date it is’. What did I add, you’re asking? Only pretty girls, only nice girls, only virgin girls, and only white girls. Those are the only girls that apparently are the perfect victims to a lot of people. It’s been almost forty years, and there are still people who believe it.”

Robby’s gaze never left you, even when you looked away from him, talking to the actual brick wall in front of you. Yet…he listened. He was quiet after you finished, but only to let you breathe.

“I didn’t know any of that.” He finally said. “It’s horrible.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry, that teaching just always stuck with me and…”

“It came out tonight?” He asked.

“Yeah…” You brought your knees to your chest. “I’m gonna have to see Trent and Kimi again. Court, I think.”

“If you ever need-.”

“-I need a cigarette,” you tried to diffuse the pain, despite bringing it up. “that’s what I need.”

He scoffed. “Should’ve asked me five years ago. Anything else I could get for you?”

“Is there a Jewish prayer that kills someone?”

“You smoke and you’re religious?” He feigned shock, but you could still see inklings of it on his face. “Didn’t know you had so many secrets.”

“Answer the question, Robinavitch.”

“No.” He huffed. “Not that I know of, at least.”

“I’m not really religious either.” You sighed. “After the day I had though…”

He nodded. “I’ve been there.”

“You’ve been a girl lost in her twenties before?”

“I’m a son-of-a-bitch in my fifties, and I’m still lost.”

As if you shared a mind, you both laughed. It wasn’t loud or even jubilant; more so just an acknowledgement of how weird the whole situation was. There was a sense of familiarity with how you were talking to him.

How you and Michael joked around but also were capable of serious conversations, whether it was about personal struggles or just current events.

Now though? As you sat in an alleyway just outside of the place you discovered who Robby really was? There was more of an honesty; a shameless one.

“Makes sense,” you wheezed. “we fucked each other.”

Although he was getting over his laughter, he still asked. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Your smile began to fall, but somehow, you couldn’t lose it fully. Call it insanity, or call it nerves, you still spoke with it.

“I mean…I actually liked you.” You admitted, and instead of feeling horrible, it felt better to finally say it. “I slept with you because you were nice, and you made me feel safe, not just because I had an itch or something. I knew we wouldn’t date or anything, but…I just really liked you.”

Robby had a horrible poker face when it came to women; he told you that when you first caught him smiling in a way you’d never seen a man smile at you before. Now, he was looking at you, face fallen into…not exactly pity, but something alike to it.

He took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you; it was never my intention.”

“…You kissed my forehead the next morning, then left. I saw the note saying I could stay but…I felt stupid just waiting for you, so I went home. You didn’t leave me your number or anything else, then I didn’t see you again.” You sounded more confused than wounded. “I know I was stupid. You probably just wanted to feel younger and-.”

“-It mattered to me.” He stopped you. “Yes, there’s no way we can keep this up; I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Don’t think that I regretted it, or that it didn’t mean anything to me. I liked you too.”

You genuinely didn’t expect him to be so vocal about it. It would’ve been easier for him to just nod and agree that it was nothing more than a primal feeling; no emotions on his side. Still, there he was, openly admitting it all.

You breathed in through your nose, despite how strange it felt. “I wish I was born the same year you were.”

Robby kept his eyes on your form, and when you glanced over at him, you wondered if his response would be ‘Me too.’

But it wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t have been good for you.” He confessed.

“Why not?”

He said your name, shaking his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

You swallowed, knowing that he meant it. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s…” He sighed heavily. “You’re going to find the right person one day, and they’ll be your age-.”

A laugh left your mouth. Except, it wasn’t a spiteful or doubtful one, even Robby could tell. It was the most genuine and honest one you felt that day.

“I fucking knew it!” You bragged.

He snorted. “What?”

“You had to have had that line in the holster or something.”

“Maybe I’ve just seen too many movies.” He laughed with you.

The both of you just sat there in the peculiar change of emotions. Of course it wasn’t the strangest thing to happen to you that day. To add to it, you said.

“I’m wearing your ex-girlfriend’s pants. She and Dr. King know, by the way.” He snapped his gaze at you, and you thought he was going to go into cardiac arrest. You shrugged. “Collins she…it’s probably just because I got the shit beaten out of me, but she acted like she didn’t care.”

Robby looked back at the brick wall, taking it all in. After a while he said. “That’s why she looked like she was gonna kill me a second ago.”

You snorted. “When?”

“Before you ran out here.” He clarified. “Jack saw you, I told him I’d talk to you because he was technically on duty, Heather comes out guns blazing saying something like ‘Don’t say a word to her,’. She tried to go after you, but I managed to get her to go home.”

You pursed your lips, surprised at Collins’ protectiveness. “Wanna divide and conquer? I talk to King, you talk to Collins?”

He nodded. “Sounds good. You uh…you gonna be alright? Going home?”

Looking down at your shoes, you took a bit to think. You didn’t really want to go back to your apartment, and maybe Kimi would stay home with her mom…but you were immature, you had just been beaten to a pulp, and you didn’t want to talk to her on the small chance she was at your apartment.

“Yeah, I mean…” It was second nature to avoid the conflict, but you caught yourself. “I know Trent won’t be there, hopefully never again, but I don’t know how I feel around Kimi. I was a piece of shit for what I said, but I don’t know how safe I’ve felt around her for a while. I told her how I felt about her boyfriend, she saw how he treated both of us, and I feel horrible she’s with him, but I won’t be collateral damage again.”

Robby nodded, taking a deep breath. “I might be overstepping, and I get if it’s a last resort, but if you ever feel unsafe at your apartment, you’re welcome to sleep at mine.”

You furrowed your brow, scoffing. “Is that really professional?”

“Just be respectful; and unless you’re dying, you’re on the couch.”

You both chuckled, the overall day only becoming more ludicrous by the second. You decided to add onto it.

“So, save for Collins and King,” you held your pinky up. “swear to never tell anyone about us?”

He snickered. “Really?”

“Yeah, mutually assured destruction. Whoever tells, has their pinky broken.”

 “Makes perfect sense.” He locked his pinky with yours. “Do we have to swear on anything or-?”

“-Nope.” You let go. “Pinky sworn.”

It felt natural after that, how you moved to hug him with no hesitance. He responded in kind, enveloping you into his arms. It felt…different. When you thought of it, the only times you really embraced were in moments of desperation, passion, even.

Now, it was quiet. For the first time that day, you felt at peace; both in your body, and inside his arms.

When he pressed his lips to your cheek just for a second, while it brought back memories, it was simply innocent.

He pulled away first from you, and you rubbed your eyes. “Thanks. Sorry about everything.”

“Don’t be.” He said. “‘Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going, no feeling is final.’”

“Oh hell yeah,” you smiled. “Jojo Rabbit.”

He furrowed his brow, not hiding his amusement. “Rainer Maria Rilke.”

“Yeah, it was in Jojo Rabbit.”

“Really? Haven’t seen it.”

“Oh, you’d love it. It’s about a little German boy in the 1940s who has an imaginary friend, and you’ll never guess who it is!”

“I don’t think I want to know who it is.” He chuckled.

You hummed, feeling just a little better. You looked around the alleyway, feeling as if you weren’t outside of an ER. “No wonder this is Jack’s favorite place to have a mental breakdown.”

“I would’ve thought the roof?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, you saw that he wanted to take them back.

You blinked. “The…what?”

Well, there was something you had to talk to Jack about. It certainly wouldn’t be that night; too much to unpack.

“You didn’t hear it from me.” Was all Robby said, standing up and holding his hand out to you.

Sighing, you took it. “Think he’ll say more to me, or to you?”

“Whenever I find him up there,” he pulled you up. “I just guilt trip him into not jumping because that’s a horrible way to start a shift.”

“On parr with finding out you screwed the new hire?”

“Don’t push it.”

You snickered. “I’ll leave you alone. Have a good night.”

He wished you one as well, watching you go back into the ER, carrying all of your belongings. It seemed about as chaotic as you had known the night shift to be; although, it wasn’t even seven-thirty. There was one more person you wanted to see before you left.

Turns out though, there were two more who needed to speak with you.

“We’re not gonna ask if you’re okay because you’ll probably have an aneurysm.” Trinity Santos came up to you with Dennis Whitaker at her side. Her hair was down.

 “Okay?” You snickered, then looked at Whitaker. “Hey…thanks. I’m sorry your nose is fucked.”

He shook his head, offering a shy smile. “Don’t be. My brothers have hit me harder.”

“Aw, he’s just being modest.” Santos draped her arm around his shoulder. “He’s a regular ol’ Superman.”

“More like Clark Kent.” He corrected.

“Same person, Huckleberry.” She counter corrected. “Okay, so medically speaking, how are you doing?”

You pursed your lips. “Medically, my nose isn’t broken but always needs an icepack, I kinda have a headache, and my ribs hurt. Emotionally…everything.”

Santos nodded, a forlorn feeling upon her face; but somehow, you didn’t feel like she was pitying you. “I was about to beat the shit out of that guy if I didn’t have a baby coming in at the same time for a spinal tap. But we-Dennis has a proposition for you.”

All eyes fell on the poor boy whose nose bore a similar, semi-swollen resemblance to yours. He stumbled a little until he found the right words.

“We sometimes get together after a shift and watch a movie to decompress. We get food, and the person who had the worst day gets to choose the movie. We uh…we kinda appointed you, if you want to come. It wouldn’t be anything huge, just the three of us. That might be too much, and maybe you’re exhausted-.”

“-Oh,” you interrupted, crossing your arms. “so the only reason you’re inviting me to this secret movie club is because I got the shit beaten out of me?”

“No!” Whitaker gasped. “I-we just thought it’d be good to help overall after a stressful shift-.”

“Huckleberry,” Santos snickered. “she’s just fucking with you.”

He paused. “Oh…”

You smiled. “I’d love to. I uh…I technically shouldn’t be driving but my car’s here-.”

“-Do you mind stopping at Target to get some snacks?” Santos asked.

Pleasantly surprised by her question, you chuckled. “Um, no?”

“No sorry,” she laughed at herself. “I mean that I’ll drive your car, but is it okay if we get snacks on the way back to my place?”

“Oh! Yeah, sounds good.”

“Great!” She slipped her keys out of her pocket, holding them out to Whitaker. “You remember how to drive something other than a tractor, right?”

He made a face. “I’ve never driven a tractor before.”

“Bullshit, you told me you did.”

He shrugged. “Nebraska doesn’t even exist, why would I know how to drive a tractor?”

The conversation from earlier that day came to mind, and you saw in his eyes that he had it in mind as well. You smiled, turning your face down to hide it from the world. It had been a while since you had an inside joke with someone.

Whitaker took the keys. “I’m just kidding. Yeah, I’ll meet you guys there.”

“See you soon.” You wished him goodbye. Santos gave him a nod before he left. She turned to you, a shit eating grin on her face. You frowned. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shrugged. “Ready to go?”

“Actually, I need to talk to someone first.”

“Who?”

Ah fuck it, You decided.

“My stepdad.” You answered. “He works the nightshift.”

“Damn! Who?”

You smirked. “You’re welcome to follow me at a distance to see.”

She made a face as if debating it. “Nah, I’ll give you privacy.”

Smiling, you nodded. “I’ll see you out front?”

“See you.”

She left through the doors into Chairs. Sighing, you began your search for Jack. On the way, you said a quick ‘hello’ to Ellis and went to check up on the little girl who had a bee sting. She was still there, speaking with the same police officer you had.

Your name cut through the air, and you looked to your right, seeing Jack approaching you. He wore the same look on his face you’d only seen on parents who had just lost their child in a supermarket only to soon find them.

“Hey.” He greeted once he stood in front of you.

“Hi…” You said. “Uh…is it okay to talk? I don’t know if you’re busy-.”

“-Unless Death himself comes into the ER, we’re gonna talk.”

Jack Abbott had technically only been a father for a few years (who knows if you can even count all of them considering you barely were at home after high school?), but he somehow managed to perfectly blend his strict tone into one of reassurance.

So, the two of you walked into the breakroom, and he spoke first.

“How was the shift?”

You smiled, sitting at the table. “Aside from getting the shit beaten out of me by my roommate’s boyfriend? Pretty okay.”

He sat beside you. “That’s a win in my book.”

That was the thing you and Jack had in common the second your mom introduced you to him: dark humor. You never hated him, but you never exactly got close with him. Maybe it was time to change that?

“Are you still in any pain?” He asked.

“Nose is getting a little better but is still sore, and so are my ribs.”

Jack nodded. “You got a ride home tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m actually gonna go hang out with Santos and Whitaker at their place, and then…” You couldn’t finish it. What were you going to do? You didn’t have the strength anymore to lie, saying you’d drive back to your apartment where Kimi might be.

You refused to stay with Robby, maybe Santos and Whitaker would take pity on you?

“I don’t know.” You choked on your words. “I said some horrible things to Kimi, but she also blamed me for what Trent did, and I…I don’t wanna go back to the apartment.”

Jack’s eyes softened. “You still got a key to the house?”

“Yours? Yeah.”

 “If you want to, your room’s still the same.”

You hadn’t slept in it since your mother died. You’d sometimes drive home from college and sleep over, so both your mom and Jack left it alone.

“You didn’t change it?” You couldn’t believe it.

He shrugged. “It’d take more effort to turn it into something else. I mean, it’s probably dusty as hell, but your bed’s still there, all your weird little trinkets and stuff from high school too.”

You scoffed. “It’s only weird to you, grandpa.”

“Sure, Jan.”

Both of you snickered, falling back into a rhythm you hadn’t known you lost. As it died down, Jack asked.

“But, you’re doing okay, kiddo? If you want to talk about it-.”

“-Not tonight.” You interrupted. “It’s just a lot but…you’ve probably seen worse.”

Jack looked like he wanted to say more, but he held back. It would’ve led down a farther hole of trauma, which you both knew you could not deal with. Instead, he asked. “You do anything I taught you?”

You grinned. “Yeah. Kicked his knee in and got creative with what I had around me.”

“Your pad, I heard.”

“It was his own fault he dabbled in fuckery!”

“Certainly was.”

“What…happened to him?”

Jack’s face grew sullen. Breathing through his nose, he said. “I got to him first and Robby had to pry me off. Bastard’s lucky he didn’t get a taste of my right foot.”

Damn…he was serious.

“Police took him away; I didn’t even get a slap on the wrist because he assaulted both you and a student doctor.”

You nodded. “Thank you...”

“Don’t mention it.”

You both fell into a tender yet awkward silence. There was so much but also nothing to say. It was actually Jack who tried to end the conversation.

“Well,” he stood. “I don’t wanna keep you from your new friends-.”

“-Would you wanna get breakfast sometime?”

It just fell from your mind and out of your mouth. You were hungrier than you thought and also wanted to spend time with him.

Despite working several shifts with Jack, and knowing him for years, you never saw him so surprised. Still, his face soon relaxed into one of mild glee.

“I’d love to, kiddo. How does tomorrow after my shift sound?”

Your eyes grew. “Really? You wouldn’t want to sleep in or something?”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do.”

You weren’t going to cry, you had decided. Your stepfather, and essentially everyone else who had comforted you that night, were making it incredibly difficult.

“Do you need a hug?” He asked upon seeing your face; and most likely your attempt at repressing tears.

You shook your head. “I’ll bawl my eyes out again, and I gotta be somewhere after this.”

He hummed. “Wouldn’t want to embarrass you now, would I?”

“Well…” You placed your hand on his shoulder, attempting to still have physical affection without being overly vulnerable.

The awkward act, alongside a beat of silence, caused a fit of giggles to erupt between both of you. You must’ve laughed this hard with him at some point, but you couldn’t remember.

“I have therapy tomorrow at ten-thirty anyway.” He said, recovering.

“How’s it been?” You asked.

“Fine, nothing out of the ordinary.”

You nodded. “I’m really proud of you for going. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”

He shifted in his seat but smiled. “Honestly, with what you’d been studying, it helped convince me. It sounds like the bare minimum for everyone if they’re able to go.”

Smiling, you teased. “You’re doing great; you’re raising my standards for men.”

“That a fact?”

You hummed. “If you didn’t start going to therapy, I would’ve married the first military man who asked, even if I only met him three weeks ago.”

“Hell no,” he played along. “eight weeks, I told you that.”

“Would you have proposed to my mom that quickly if you met her before you were deployed?”

“I would’ve married your mother sooner because I loved her.”

“Did you think that while you were dating her?”

“Of course I did.” He leaned forward, saying your name. “There are some people in this world who know in an instant who they want to spend the rest of their life with.”

You pursed your lips, thinking back to Robby, and everyone else you had ever dated in your life. “I don’t think I’m one of them.”

“And that’s okay.”

Sighing, you looked down at your watch and immediately stood with your belongings. “I should go. Hey…thanks for everything.”

Jack got up with you. “Don’t mention it. You got a ride?”

“Yeah, Santos. She’s driving my car.”

“Are you gonna sleep at the house tonight?”

“Uh huh.” You walked out of the breakroom, and he followed. “I’ll pick you up after your shift and we can get breakfast.”

“Are you okay to drive home?”

You turned to face him in the hall as you approached the door to Chairs. “I’ll be fine. If anything bad happens, I’ll call Ellis because you don’t have your phone on you, and she can tell you. Okay?”

Jack sighed. “Just doing my job, kiddo. Have you figured out which shift you want to do?”

That was the question. You’d done a week’s worth of the night shift, and only one day shift. You enjoyed people on both, and had personal history with both of the attendings…

“I think the day mostly.” You said. “I can’t come back in tomorrow, but I will after that. I think I like the vibe more. But, I’d also like to do at least one night shift a month; maybe two.”

Independence, but also not ignoring your stepfather’s existence.

Jack smiled. “I think that sounds reasonable. Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Jack.”

You’d work your way up to ‘dad’, and even the casual ‘I love you’. Still, it was more than apparent both of you were wholeheartedly fine with where you were at. Progress, that was what was being done.

Finally, you made your way out to the front of the hospital, and there was Santos, leaning against a streetlamp. She smiled, approaching you.

“How’s your daddy?”

You snorted. “He’s doing fine. How was your shift?”

She began walking to the parking lot with you beside her. “Not bad. I mean, kinda boring until your roommate and her batshit insane boyfriend came.”

“Glad they could entertain you.”

“I don’t mean it like-.”

“-No, I know.” You eased. “Do you have Mel’s number?”

She took out her phone. “Yeah, why?”

“I had her take pictures of my injuries, and I have to send them to the police.”

Santos glanced up at you. “How’d it go talking with them?”

“Eh.” You shrugged.

She chuckled, showing you her phone with Mel’s number on the screen. You created a new contact in your phone, then texted Mel as you and Santos walked.

“Hey, it’s your fellow member of the ‘Dead Moms and Unknown Dads’ club.”

Just as you typed it, you deleted it. Apparently, you still had the mental power to overthink things.

“Hey it’s,” you typed your name. “Could you please send me the pictures you took so I can give them to the police?”

It was then you decided to send another message. One completely different.

“I still owe you dinner, or lunch if you prefer. If you have any questions about what Kimi said after I blew up at her, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m okay with talking about it. Just could you not bring it up to anyone else, please?”

You had a feeling she wouldn’t text back that night. Maybe she’d talk about it tomorrow, or maybe she never wanted to hear about it? Still, you’d cross that bridge when you came to it.

“All good?” Santos asked.

You smiled, putting your phone back in your pocket. “Good.”

“If you ever need help with legal shit, I’ve kinda been around the block with it.” She reassured. “But I know you’re probably smart enough to handle it if you want.”

“Thanks.”

The two of you walked in silence, apparently you had parked in Kansas, your car was so far away. To fill the space, Santos said.

“Whitaker likes you.”

You looked over at her, a funny look on your face. You knew what she meant but tried to deflect. “Yeah, I like him too. He got decked in the face so I wouldn’t.”

“No.” She shook her head, chuckling. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I think he wants to ask you out.”

There it was. Even with all the shit that happened to you that day, there were good things. You reconnected with your stepfather, you somehow managed to have the most mature “breakup” with a guy twice your age, his ex-girlfriend took care of you despite knowing about all the shit you had done, and you made new friends for the first time in a while.

Still…it was all so much.

“I don’t think I’m ready to date anyone right now.” You admitted. “I’ve got a lot going on.”

“No, of course.” She said. “I just wanted to give you a heads up, just in case if you weren’t feeling that way towards him, or if you were-.”

“-Trinity,” you stopped her, smiling. “I’m good.”

She nodded. “Right.”

Even with an abrupt ending, there was not a hint of discomfort. After finally finding your car, you thought it would’ve all been over when.

“Hey, doctor Robby.” Santos greeted.

You drew your head up at his name and saw him approaching the car beside yours. This whole time…he had parked beside you and hadn’t even known. He rose his brow as if he had the same thought process as you.

“Hey, how’re you two?” He asked.

She shrugged. “We’re just dying down for the night, you?”

“Same. I have a date with my bed.” He chuckled, then looked right at you. “Are you doing alright? I can only guess how many times you’ve been asked that.”

You smiled. “Several, but I’m doing better now.”

“That’s good. Are you okay to drive?”

Santos jumped in before you could answer. “Nah, I’m driving little miss Starshine.”

“Starshine?” He asked, trying to hold back his amusement.

You hid your face in your hands. “Oh god.”

“How’d you get that from Dr. Santos’ extensive list of nicknames?” He questioned.

Santos took that as her cue. “She had too much caffeine one night shift, and both Whitaker and I were greeted by her.”

“It’s not that funny.” You rolled your eyes.

Robby disagreed. “I for one think it’s hilarious.”

Santos jumped in. “Please say you’re in tomorrow. I was gonna rely on her to be entertaining, but Kiara ordered her to stay home.”

He clicked his tongue. “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s my day off.”

She sighed. “At least tell me you’re gonna do something useful.”

“I was thinking of going to a coffee shop, maybe.”

“Where?” You asked, curiosity bettering you.

Robby pursed his lips. “I heard Big Dog is good. Ever been?”

You tilted your head, managing to hide how perplexed you were. “Yeah, a few times. It’s alright.”

“I might try that one.”

All you could do was smile, not knowing his intentions. It could have been bait for a reconnection, it could have been a way of saying goodbye to a fantasy, or it could have just been him making conversation.

You tossed the keys to Santos. “Let’s go before Target closes.”

She smirked, unlocking the door. “You think I drive slow?”

“Maybe.”

Robby stepped in. “Please don’t get either of yourselves killed.”

“Yes sir, Dr. Robinavitch sir.” Santos snorted, getting into the car. “Come on, Starshine.”

You gave Robby one last smile before ducking into the passenger seat. After buckling up, Santos plugged her phone into the aux chord.

“Don’t play trash.” she said, starting the car and putting it into reverse.

Snickering, you put on your favorite song. As Santos pulled out of the parking spot, you made eye contact with Robby. Not knowing what else to do, you waved to him.

He waved back.

While Santos drove, you couldn’t help but ponder the day. It was one of the worst, there was no doubt about that, and it ended with more questions than answers. Yet, where that would leave you in a deep storm of turmoil, you decided to weather it.

If all of that happened in a day, who’s to say what would happen in a year?

Maybe you’d still be in Pittsburgh, maybe you’d be in a different continent.

Maybe you’d still be single, maybe you’d be married.

Maybe you’d still be roommates with Kimi, maybe you’d never talk to her again.

Maybe you’d still work the day shift, maybe you'd switch back to the night.

The best part?

You didn’t have to know right away.

[my-current-obsession]

Tengoku Struggle: Strayside - Thoughts

I'm a bit late getting to this game, but I enjoyed it quite a bit! I definitely have some frustrations both minor and major, some of which I'll get into below, but overall it was a fun and engaging ride and one of few VNs where I can honestly say I like ALL the routes and romances - with the caveat that I have a bone to pick with one of them.

I think the premise of the story, the transient (amnesiac) daughter of the Lord of Hell being assigned to capture several escapees from Hell alongside four handpicked former prisoners (all of which are presumably heinous villains themselves), is very fun and creative. I was immediately drawn into the story and loved all the world-building relating to the Six Realms and Hell specifically.

It helps that in addition to the colorful main cast, the supporting cast in this game is fantastic. I particularly love Fujimori, King Enma, and Nono-sensei.

My play order was: Kiku -> Yona -> Sharaku -> JacK -> Goemon.

My thoughts and criticisms are down below. Beware spoilers if you haven't played/beaten the game yourself!

First off, while it's not necessarily a criticism, I do think it's an... interesting choice to clearly establish in the very beginning of the game that she knew and loved one specific love interest prior to her death, and then to further establish at the end of the common route that he remembers and loves her too. While I know most otome have a favored/intended canon route, pushing one guy this hard this early is kind of shooting itself in the foot, IMO. It's hard to really get into and love the other possible relationships when Rin is this obviously "meant" to be with Goemon and you're aware of it and imagining him quietly pining for her all while she gets cozy with another man. I can think of multiple other otomes which also have a similar conundrum, but at least in those cases you don't know about the history and connection with a specific love interest until actually doing his route, allowing you to fully enjoy all the other routes first.

But you could consider the early Goemon reveal more of a double-edged sword, because while it might dampen your enjoyment of the other romances, it would also encourage players to not give up early for any reason, wanting to make it to his route to get answers and resolution to what exactly his past with Rin is.

Kiku: I think his route was a good one to start with. Outside of his own backstory as well as his connected "villain", Azami, there are no major reveals here. There's also nothing I found particularly amazing OR frustrating. His route was solid, I liked it, but it didn't wow me either. His romance with Rin felt very light and fluffy. You could tell he was falling for her pretty fast and hard early in his route, and the two got along really well.

I also do really like Azami as a character and as the antagonist in this route, although if I have one complaint it's that the situation honestly could have been MORE dramatic and messy than it was. Maybe this is entirely on me for getting my hopes up, but I assumed there would be more to her backstory and behavior than there ended up being. I figured she was either gay, adding another layer to her general dislike of men and her immediate and enduring friendliness to Rin, OR... she might have secretly had incestuous feelings for her brother, further complicating THAT situation. Neither turned out to be true, which left me a tad disappointed. But I can't hold something that I created and wanted in my head against the story too much. Her backstory and behavior is perfectly understandable for what it is, I just wanted a bit more drama I guess.

Finally, I really like how Fujimori was incorporated into this route and I thought his budding friendship with Kiku was incredibly sweet.

Yona: I spent the first half of his route too frustrated to really enjoy it, to be honest. The story hammers home the idea that samurai are supposed to be honorable, yet Yona immediately fights dirty and nearly gets Rin killed as a result. And while the other guys (and Goemon in particular, which was a nice touch) were understandably furious at him, Rin herself WASN'T. If anything she blamed herself - the VICTIM - for letting things get out of hand.

What made matters worse is that while Yona IS overall a good, honorable guy, and he DOES actually have a good reason for his deep mistrust that led him to act out... we don't get it until literally the end of the route. We have to just sit back and forgive him and wait several hours to hear an explanation as to WHY he did what he did. It doesn't help that for me, his backstory just feels weaker than everyone else, which makes withholding it until the very end all the more unreasonable.

We got like 85% of Kiku's backstory in the beginning of his route, which helped in understanding why his relationship with Azami was so fraught. Sharaku opens up about his backstory a little over halfway through his route in a moment of emotional intimacy, which helps in understanding/justifying his outlandish behavior before and also significantly shifts the tone/feeling of his relationship with Rin moving forward. And we're drip-fed Goemon and Rin's semi-shared backstory throughout his entire route, like getting one piece of a puzzle at a time and finally getting to complete it near the end.

Even if you disagree that Yona's backstory of growing up an outsider, desperate for love and attention, ultimately getting deceived and dying before getting what he wanted isn't as compelling as the others... the placement of it (not even told to Rin as part of bonding and/or apologizing! told to Sansaburo to try and get through to him and keep things "honorable"!) still bugs me. We should have gotten some or even all of it early on in the route, so that we could understand and forgive what he'd done. Because personally without any context, I wasn't okay with how his fighting dirty nearly got Rin killed, and the fact that SHE was okay with it made it all the more vexing.

My issue with the beginning of this route then rippled out to impair the middle a bit. Because while I could definitely understand why Yona would like Rin so much... every scene of her being super into him just felt unearned. And the fact that it was discovering he read books that might sometimes have smut in them being what DID briefly turn her off from him? Ugh. It's fine if he's a dumbass who nearly got you killed for (seemingly) no good reason, but I guess liking porn is inexcusable. Priorities, girl!

IN ISOLATION, I think nearly all of their romantic moments are very solid. It's just that because their starting position was so poisoned for me, it was hard to reconcile Rin liking him at all at that point. All that said, the route definitely got better over time and the last few chapters were very solid. By then there'd been enough development that I could buy the romance despite my initial hangups, so I could fully enjoy their relationship when it finally blossomed. And Yona's confrontation with Sansaburo was pretty good too.

Once again, this route made good use of Fujimori. His dynamic was certainly more strained with Yona than Kiku, but the story used that to give Yona a necessary wake-up call, I think. I love that both guys got something valuable from the other, with Yona getting more accepting/comfortable around technology and how things are now compared to when he lived, and Fujimori being shown that looks and strength alone don't define a person or make them happy/successful, which encouraged him to be more confident in himself and accepting of others.

Sharaku: I'll admit that I had a bit of a bias going into this route since due to his VA and certain mannerisms, I already liked Sharaku a lot. He reminded me of Marius from Tears of Themis (same Japanese VA, similarly flirty and overtly manipulative in a childish way that I find endearing rather than upsetting).

That said his route is certainly... a lot. And I can bet he'll be a "love him or hate him" type for a lot of people. Personally, I love him, though I absolutely understand why he might turn off or really upset others. He comes on STRONG in the beginning, pushing for sex as a way to "bond" and "develop trust" with Rin.

That's obviously not okay, but for me it's enough that after Rin electrocutes him and sets a boundary, he doesn't cross it again (arguably. We'll get into that). Rather, while he still brings up the idea of having sex often, it's more playful/joking, and he physically keeps a safe distance. To me this reads as him making it clear that while he's still down for or wants it himself, he IS respecting her wishes by not pushing for it. He's just letting her know it's still on the table as an option if she ever changes her mind.

Personally I don't think the idea that he's "coercing" her into it holds water when, later in the route, she DOES decide she wants to have sex with him in a moment of desperation, but he TURNS HER DOWN. By then, he knows her well enough and CARES about her enough that he doesn't want to do anything she's not fully onboard with. Consent isn't enough. He wants her feelings to matter, too. For them, for the bond they now have, sex is no longer a means to an end, and he won't let her reduce it to that even when that was once what he wanted.

Sharaku is a very messy individual. His backstory is HEAVY. I might have a small corner of my mind permanently stuck ruminating on how he was forced to live as a prostitute for an unknown length of time just to make ends meet, and then eventually got OUT of that life and started supporting himself financially with art instead, just to ultimately die at the ripe old age of eighteen. Because he eventually got caught for the crime of mercy killing women who BEGGED him to do it. It's just... a lot.

All the characters' backstories inform their personality and behavior in the present, but I really feel it with Sharaku. He's been desensitized to sex, possibly as a coping mechanism for what he's been through. From his perspective, it's nothing more than a physical act at this point, and what better way to "get close" to someone? There's also the idea that prostitutes are trained/perceptive when it comes to romance. It's a trait that all the "prostitute" characters we see share, even Shinobikuni. While I doubt anyone would argue that Goemon knows Rin as a person best, it's definitely Sharaku who notices the budding romances on every route. He even took it a step farther and tried to play matchmaker for Yona! He's also the one to notice and call out that Goemon is softer towards Rin right from the start, even if he tries to hide it and act as uncaring/aloof as the others.

I think this also extends to his route though. When Rin really starts to fall for Sharaku, HE NOTICES. He's completely unsurprised when other people infer that Rin is in love with him. The "school uniform date" and his kissing her were prompted by him responding to her feelings. It's just that there's a miscommunication here. He hasn't let her know how HE feels (and to be fair at that point he might still be figuring it out, going along with things because that's what he's used to doing), thus she assumes he's playing with her feelings and gets upset.

Something I really love about Sharaku's route is that he takes it upon himself, multiple times, to try and change or open up to Rin, without being forced or prompted to. His most sincere, vulnerable moments are predated by him unintentionally hurting her, and then resolving to do better. Which he does! When he sees how their blood bond has barely risen, it's clear that it hurts Rin. And he KNOWS it's his own trust issues to blame, so he pushes through the discomfort to open up to her, at least a little, prompting the first big spike in the blood bond. When he takes their "date" too far by kissing her and Rin runs off crying, he finally opens up about his past to her once he finds her.

Rin herself ALSO makes an effort to change, after Sharaku calls her out for being overbearing and falling back on her training to mistreat the prisoners. This isn't really an issue in other routes, since she has a good relationship with the other love interests, but here, her initially strained relationship with Sharaku makes it harder to shake off her training and treat the men the way she WANTS to treat them. The struggle makes it more impactful than the other routes where she just decides to change and then... does, without effort, IMO.

Sharaku as a person and his relationship with Rin is just... so much more complicated and messy than the other routes. Outside of JacK where she's literally romancing the enemy, this is the only time she has any real conflict WITH her love interest as opposed to a conflict elsewhere. But it makes perfect sense that these two would butt heads given their near polar opposite personalities and his... wealth of romantic/sexual experience compared to her literal blank slate. If anything it's a miracle they reached a compromise!

This route COULD have been a disaster. With Sharaku's backstory and obsession with sex, it could have gone to some truly unpleasant, unforgivable places. But for me, this route was beautiful. This is a route where two VERY different individuals both decided, of their own volition, to try to be better for the other person. They weren't being forced to change by an outside party, nor were they fundamentally changing who they were. Rather they were allowing themselves to be vulnerable, exposing their soft underbellies to the other. To meet the other halfway. This was harder for Sharaku, naturally, but they both managed it and from their initial tense and distant acquaintance, a healthy and beautiful love bloomed.

JacK/Tetsunojo: This route had the misfortune to sit between Sharaku, who I clearly hyper-fixated on, and Goemon, who has a lot of "true/final route" reveals to dig into. Thus I admit I probably didn't give this route as much attention as I should have.

That said, from what I remember, it's solid. I appreciate that the more you learn about him, the more Tetsunojo comes across as just a chuuni. A total loser playing at being edgy and cool. His mostly one-sided vendetta against Goemon is also a lot of fun. It's hilarious to think about how Goemon didn't know or care about him at all until his own route, where he ultimately DID "beat" Goemon entirely unintentionally, by stealing his girl.

I was a bit miffed for a decent chunk of the route because it seemed the writing couldn't decide how much, if at all, Tetsunojo actually liked Rin or if he was just using her all along. He certainly turned HARD on her when he got what he wanted. But then the story slowly walked it back and he DID like her, he was just pushing her away. The execution was a bit sloppy and frustrating, but not terrible I guess.

I'm torn between liking and hating that this is the route where Rin finally gets to be proactive. In general I like it when the heroine is more assertive and goes for what she wants. But where was that in the other routes? You're saving it for here, the route where from a logical standpoint it makes most sense NOT to pursue him, especially once he's threatened your life? It feels like she's only proactive because this relationship would never get off the ground otherwise, whereas living with the other guys - most of whom are confident and willing to make moves themselves - gives plenty of opportunity for romance without Rin forcing it.

Ultimately while the romance was okay, this relationship was probably still my least favorite because it lowkey took Rin away from her other love interests. That's her found family! It's like Sholmes' route in the Code Realize FD. Even IF the route and relationship is solid, you don't take the girl away from her group of friends! Thankfully Tetsunojo joined the group at the end (even getting his own mug! Truly Goemon is a softie to do such a thing for the guy that stole his girl) rather than completely taking Rin away, but this route still felt removed from the group dynamic we see everywhere else.

Goemon: He was SO soft and attentive to her, in general but especially his own route. You'd think after a few hundred years he would at least start to move on, but no, he's clearly still down bad for her. VERY cute.

I loved getting little peeks of his jealousy in other routes. When he lost his cool at the manager asking if Rin is a virgin, wishing to himself that they WERE having a rendezvous when Sharaku caught them together, a lot of his behavior in JacK's route... It all got me amped up for his route, for sure.

I have basically no complaints about the romance in this route, or at least nothing too critical. The pacing is a bit wonky at times, but I think that can be explained as Rin is essentially starting at 0 for Goemon while HE is starting damn near 100 for her - as shown by the blood bond, even! He near fully loves and trusts her from the start, so the route is just getting her to the same place he is and revealing their shared backstory.

They have a lot of sweet moments together. I love how she made him "poison" onigiri which he then made sure to warn off others so he could keep them to himself. I love how for a good chunk of the route Rin was despairing over being in a love triangle with HERSELF. I do wish she had confronted him directly, told him it hurt to be compared to or a replacement for that girl. But we got something similar at least that FINALLY led to him telling her the truth.

As for their backstory, it really is a tragedy. Their own hesitations and insecurities kept them apart. He didn't want to drag her into his problems, she didn't want to tie him down since she was blind and he was a free spirit. And yet even though they never got together she was STILL killed just because of her association to him. Which meant he was right to blame himself for it, to an extent. The fact that her ONE sin that sent her to hell was telling a lie that hurt him is the cherry on top of this painful sundae. Oof.

The plot/conflict outside of the romance is where this route loses me a little. It just has a bit too much going on, including TWO separate twist villains! Surely one of them could have been used elsewhere? Personally I would say Sharaku's route because the idea of finding Oshichi's lost love is brought up there too and yet for some reason it's Goemon's route where they have the idea to have Sharaku draw the guy based on Oshichi's description.

I mostly liked Fujimori's inclusion in this route once again. The bond he and Goemon had in the past and start to form again is very sweet. That said, I don't really like how it's implied he was also close with Rin (to the point where he called her sister at one point and she also felt like he was a little brother to her) yet we NEVER got interactions between them in flashbacks. It's hard to buy that relationship when we don't actually see it.

I think both twist villains were done very sloppily. Kamuro's actions just don't seem to fit with what we've learned about angels and how they're basically stupid and useless and GOOD. How on earth did an angel with those kind of restrictions for getting into Heaven (remember, telling a SINGLE lie that hurt someone got Rin cast into Hell) end up even capable of evil? And Shiroku...

He was an incredibly weird combination of OVERLY foreshadowed and not nearly foreshadowed enough. He has a very distinct silhouette so it's clearly him we see in Rin's nightmare flashback at the beginning of the route, making him immediately suspicious. And yet in all his prior appearances and up until the end of the route, he does nothing to raise suspicion. If not for that one moment we'd have NO reason to doubt him. And then again, literal minutes before the reveal, we get the second piece of evidence against him. Which is... Sharaku - the MOST guarded and untrusting of the group - thinks he's suspicious and doesn't want Rin to go off alone with him. Again, a rather heavy-handed piece of foreshadowing, and yet it's potentially ruined or overlooked since it's coming from Sharaku.

In theory, I'm fine with Shiroku being a twist villain. Especially since Goemon's primary "flaw" is that he's too soft/trusting towards those he cares about. So having a trusted longtime friend stab him in the back makes sense. It's just the execution sucks. And Shiroku as a villain is not nearly as interesting or likable compared to the main five. His motivation is... feeling spurned that Goemon left so he decides to go full evil?

Meanwhile the five escapees are all seemingly GOOD or at least neutral people who just lived awful lives - or in Asaemon's case, he was a guy with a really bad job. But someone's gotta do it - and now want a chance to live happier, peaceful lives as opposed to continuing to suffer in Hell as if their lives before death weren't bad enough.

Compared to all the others, Shiroku taking over as the last minute true bad guy was disappointing. It made sense that Goemon wouldn't fight Shinobikuni since she seemingly wasn't a fighter, but what I really expected and felt outright ripped off not to get was a fight with Okuni. Of ALL the escapees, Okuni got the least development and time to shine. But since it was established she KNEW Goemon and she had a really cool power that COULD be used in a fight, I expected her to be the "final boss", as it were. Instead she literally never faces off against anyone directly, instead just retaliating against Yona in his route when he fights dirty against Sansaburo. She was SO cool and SO underutilized.

She was shafted in favor of a pretty shit twist villain though. In the end her "importance" boiled down to being the source of a popular legend that Rin secretly liked - after death, being cared across the Sanzu River on your lover's back. At least that concept finally got to come full circle when Goemon carried Rin home on his back after the final battle. That was a nice detail. He wasn't able to go to her in death, but they first reunited at the riverbank that she was staring wistfully at, and he got as close as he could to fulfilling her wishes in the end.

I suppose it was too much to expect a violent battle between a man and a woman in an otome, especially with the woman as a final boss of sorts. At least Rin got to contribute to the fight. Not directly, but her powered up ability was instrumental to the fight and the gang couldn't have won without her. So I'll take it.

Misc: A few random final thoughts/observations - this game is very punishing in terms of the choices. A single wrong choice will land you the bad end for a route. In fact, I noticed that a wrong choice early on will ensure a "bad" ending to the chapter and every chapter moving forward. Which is why starting with Yona I made the decision to save scum until around chapter 8 so even if I got a bad end I wouldn't have to redo damn near the entire route.

...Which accidentally led to me NOT getting Goemon or Sharaku's bad endings. I happened to get their final few choices right and haven't seen their bad endings. That said, based on the OTHER bad endings... I don't mind that you fall into those endings so easily. There ARE unique CGs and the endings are about 20 minutes of unique content. And it seems like the bad endings aren't even "bad" so much as bittersweet, stalling a happy ending that WILL still come in the future. Plus the music for the bad end movie is a BOP that I will GLADLY listen to.

One other thing I noticed that bothers me a tad is that the routes follow a very similar formula in terms of the romantic development. You can see this very clearly while looking at the CGs for different guys. All five guys have exactly 15 "unique" CGs, the difference being how many of those have variations, and how many of said variations there are. Exactly 2 of those unique CGs are for the bad ends, with another locked away in the bonus "Memory" content. ALL FIVE guys have their "happy" end with a CG that is just before the couple has sex. Kiku, Yona, and Sharaku all have Rin kiss their mark to take their pain twice, with the second time leading to another CG of the pair kissing. That kiss CG is even the 9th one for all of them, and it's the last CG before the happy/bad end split. Goemon only has one "kiss the pain away" scene, but his also immediately leads to a proper kiss as well.

While the specifics for the conflicts and the relationships are different in each route, I just couldn't help but notice this huge consistency in when and how the romantic beats happened. There are definitely minor ways in which routes are the same in other games (like tending to the needs of a Fury in Hakuouki), but I couldn't help but notice EVERY route ending in a sex scene. EVERY route having the first (mutual, in Sharaku's case) kiss after Rin took the guy's pain. It's a minor nitpick, but by the third route I was starting to really sense when things would happen and accurately predict incoming CGs. So it took me out of the story a bit.

In terms of my feelings on the routes as a whole, best to worst: Sharaku > Goemon > Kiku > JacK > Yona

In terms of my feelings on the romance/relationship with Rin: Goemon > Sharaku > Kiku > Yona > JacK

[kyupidos]

pokepoke.. i saww that requests r opeenn:3 so can i request the housewards w m!reader whos super energetic and always happy,,, ball of aunshine (oor like emu:3!!) hcs pwease

04/11/25 — twisted wonderland <3

‘is meaning smile!’ — summary. ‘housewardens with an energetic and happy m!reader!’

characters ;; housewardens -malleus , tags ;; reader is male ( masculine terms like “boyfriend” ), reader may or may not be yuu ( up to the reader ), romantic fluff

a/n ( omg…gets poked…AAH it’s been MONTHS since this ask, my apologies..i got stuck a few times and really had to look deep into my heart to come up with ideas, but here it is! i mean i wrote it a long while ago when i first received the ask but things came up…like me working on getting a job,, i also ended up cutting out malleus, i’m sorry 😭 sunshine x gllooomyyy(..??) is such a common trope but i ended up having a hard time writing him. i think my bias in characters shows in writing length anyways.. ( also hope you don’t mind me testing formats here )

riddle rosehearts —

riddle is, quite usually, strict and hot headed—of course, that’s not to say things change. especially upon meeting you, who always seems to be so lax and free spirited. not only that, but very full of energy and enthusiastic, so he noticed. for quite a bit of time, he watched you from afar, in all honesty, in almost the smallest tinge of jealousy ( not that he’ll ever say it aloud, unless you manage to get him vulnerable enough ).

actually, he quite likes your attitude, from time to time, even if it, when you first met, would give him a migraine most of the time from your fits of energy and happiness. whenever he becomes upset about any sort of rule breaking, your energy and good spirit tends to bring the peace ( not to say he doesn’t still get pissed over ace and deuce..especially ace, cough. that’s a lost cause ). and it gave him pleasure to know that despite his..attitude, especially pre book 1, you seemed to be so chipper around him despite what he put you and the others through.

and to be honest, he can’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve happily and willingly, he notes, listened to his rants and helped him calm his temper when necessary. not condescendingly or anything, just be there both for him and with him.

for some reason, despite the fact you’ve been together for some time now, he still lets out a hushed puff of surprise when you grab his hand, sat at a gazebo hidden within the rose maze—particularly to follow rule 339, for your post-meal beverage to drink some lemon tea with two sugar cubes together. quite usually, and especially prior to his overblot, this was a solemn act. but it’s as you squeeze his hand empathetically he comes to terms with the fact that “solemn” won’t be a phrase he’ll use to describe himself any time soon, from the very moment he met you.

“i hope you’re not too upset about the mess from earlier,” you laughed it off easily, and he’ll never understand how you manage to find it in you to be so cheerful, but he’ll never be truly upset about it. “i’m sure ace and the others didn’t mean it.”

“the fact ace always ends up mentioned by name should be enough to state how much of a trouble maker he is,” riddle huffed, but in all honesty, he stopped being mad the moment you stepped in to help out—at the very least, you covered most of the blow. ace definitely owes you after that one ( or so he promises ), but it’s not like you were doing it for selfish reasons anyway. “i’ll make sure he properly atones soon later.”

you laughed at that, but he already knew you weren’t doing it out of ill will. especially since he could feel the genuinity behind your smile from miles away. “yeah, i bet,” and your hand is still gently holding onto his, he noticed. he wasn’t a fan of pda, but honestly, he really loves this kind of attention. he never says it, but his content smile tells you all you need to know. and he adores his loving boyfriend more than you’ll ever think.

leona kingscholar —

he will, truly and honest to goodness, never understand how you do it. leona would even go as far as to say that your cheerful outlook on things even blinds him and forces him to close his eyes even when he isn’t about to go to sleep. and honestly, he’ll never be able to make sense of the way you always, whether literally or figuratively, always seem to extend your hand towards him so invitingly and with such genuine warmth. when you were only getting to know each other, in fact, he almost hated it. almost.

of course, he loves and worships you now. not so blindly, of course, he knows better than to be so ignorant when it comes to having this kind of relationship with someone. but that doesn’t change the fact he has a bias towards you, and it’s obvious ( ruggie had to corner you to make sure you weren’t stealing his money. ). at the beginning, your overwhelmingly positive attitude somehow put a damper on him. maybe it was jealousy, or the fact at the time he was convinced he would never get to have you, he’ll honestly never understand or recall what his thought process at the time was.

but now he does have you, and you have him, and his dreams most definitely are far better now. since he convinced you to start being his living pillow, actually, he’s been more content in his sleep, he noticed. makes it a little harder to wake him up, you’ve heard ruggie complain..but still, you think it’s nice he feels so safe to be off guard around you, the predator he prides himself to be. ( a lot of his dreams consist of you too, but he’ll never say that aloud given said pride ).

you were having one of those nice moments right now, actually, together in his dorm room as he draped himself over you, you smiling like an idiot ( or so he thinks so on a whim, but if he were to be more poetic, he’d say you were blessing him with a smile befitting to be worn by angels ) as you combed through his hair with your hands. his hand gently holding hours, with barely any force so you could still go on with your handiwork as he gazed up at you through his half lidded eyes.

“you don’t always need to be so loud during our spell drive games,” he muttered, almost like it was mostly just something he said to pass the time. “it gets embarrassing sometimes.” a half lie, he’s actually very proud of the attention you give him and will never not use an excuse to flaunt it. the teasing remarks from malleus and his goons ( as he calls them ) during spell drive games tends to get on his nerves though.

“huh? why wouldn’t i cheer on my boyfriend?” you questioned like it was obvious, in a way that almost makes him feel silly for even asking. of course that’s how you would respond. “isn’t that a boyfriend’s duty? i’ll love you forever, you know! i’ll show you off forever, you can trust me on that, leona.”

oh, by the way, if he ever had the chance, he would finally and definitely let you know he loves you just like that and 100x more. because just so you know, if he ignores the fact you are his sun, not even the explosion of the sun would be enough to get him away from you.

after all, you make a very comfortable pillow ( cough his way of saying he loves you ).

azul ashengrotto —

point blank and simple, when he first met you he assumed your cheerfulness and kind “act” ( he can’t believe someone would be so genuine with him ) was a ruse to extort something, anything, out of him. but it never happened. he was convinced you were playing the long game, and i’ll tell you, it took him a while to finally adjust to the fact that you’re not kidding when you say you’d rather blow the school up with a microwave mishap than do anything like that to him. i mean..it’s a little out there and oddly specific ( he’s actually worried you might’ve actually accidentally nearly done that once ), but floyd and jade have said worse so it’s fine.

actually, no matter what, he’ll never get used to how you seem to never expect anything in return. ‘it’s stupid’, he thinks, and he even goes as far to call it idiotic, ‘how does he even survive in this school?’ it stresses him out actually, because he always considers himself indebted to you whenever you do something for him that you keep telling him he didn’t need to pay you back for. he just couldn’t seem to get it out of his head that someone would do something for him out of the pure goodness of his heart.

that’s part of how the two of you grew closer, in fact..somehow. in his need to no longer owe you, he’d offer you little things like discounts at the mostro lounge or his help in certain subjects you were struggling with free of charge. slowly, these things turned into a genuine pleasure to be around you, and a way to no longer owe you slowly became an excuse to meet with you again and be greeted with your constant energy and affection. how long is takes for him to accept this and actually confess to you ( or maybe you just confess to him if you’re impatient enough ) is another story.

however it goes, he’s thankful it happened. after all, your cheerful and high spirited attitude, which you seem to always be able to tune and adjust to when the situation needs it ( he quickly realizes the more he spends time with you that you’re also much more perceptive of social interactions than he first gave you credit for, ) always seems to help destress him after long days of work at the mostro lounge.

“dear,” he starts carefully, “you don’t need to wait for me to finish my work like this. i suspect it may take me much longer than i initially expected it to…i’m sorry.” you perked up when he first spoke, but didn’t let him deter you. “i know i said we could go out today, but..”

you didn’t let him finish. instead, you got up carefully to hug him from behind, something he tensed at. not because he wasn’t used to your affection, he learned long ago how casual you were with it, though you understood when he didn’t want it ( albeit not often, he always seems to be vying for it ). rather, because he knows that’s how you like to tease him.

you gave him a light kiss on the cheek, one which he sighed in content at as he slowly raised one arm to hold onto yours, which still seemed to be holding him. “you think i’d just leave you by yourself knowing that?” you teased, and he hummed in response as if he already knew the answer. “plus, if that’s the case, i think i have the solution.”

he tilted his head up now to look at you in curiosity, “is that so?”

he was quite sure at first you only said it on a whim given your usual spurts of energy and unbotheredness at the unfortunate turn of events, but he quickly came to terms with it as you took a chair to sit right beside him, though you leaned against him as though the chair rests dividing the two of you never existed at all.

“i’ll just stay here with you!”

he wanted to refuse, at first. the work pile was enough that he would likely have to pull an all nighter for it, as embarrassing as it was to say, which was probably why he left that tid bit out in the first place. but as you gleamed in happiness at the idea as you usually do, so unbothered by these sorts of things as usual, he couldn’t help but be a little selfish.

“alright then, dear,” he sighed, although in a dramatized way for you to know he wasn’t truly upset by the turn of events, “stay here with me.”

kalim al-asim —

a kindred spirit, in a way, and kalim can’t help but be delighted. it’s unusual for a guy to be in night raven so casually, so merry about their way and energetic on top of that, he knows and acknowledges that. consider him a babbling idiot all you like, he knows better than that, and you’re quite sure he knows more than anything he ever lets on.

actually, he approached you first. and when i tell you, he was in for a big, but lovely surprise when you returned the favor. two people whose energy and smiles could put out a hundred stars and more. truth be told, he was a little worried at first. he’d been in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you, but for a few days, the idea you were so kind to him only to poison him for his family lineage, or worse, stuck in the back of his mind as if the idea itself was a poison. but only just a little, because you managed to wipe those worries away so easily with your sunshine attitude.

through your enthusiastic reassurance, he’s come to learn to trust and rely on you whenever he needs it, and you, of course, do so with him too. jamil finds himself feeling like if the two of you plan another party in the next three days then he’s going to get an aneurysm. you assure him he won’t, at least any time soon, but he’s a little unconvinced when you cheer on kalim to make this party “the most exciting one yet!” ( you’ve been proclaiming about that for at least nine prior hosted parties ).

“hahah…sorry you had to get stuck with cleaning with me, [y/n]!” kalim giggled nervously, rubbing the back of his head with his free palm before reverting back to sweeping the mess left on the floor from the party a few hours prior.

as it turned out jamil had taken your word when you reassured him he wouldn’t be getting a bad headache anytime soon, and scolded you both into cleaning the aftermath. not like you minded, you’re someone who keeps your word.

“you don’t need to apologize at all kalim,” you waved him off mindlessly, not too far from him as you collected the party streamers from under the tables, a smile still on your face despite it all. “even the boring things can be fun whenever i’m with you, you know!“

“hey, you’re right!! after this, wanna go on a magic carpet ride? we can make this into a game until then!”

“kalim.. i’d be delighted!”

vil schoenheit —

vil gets typecasted as a villain too constantly. as a result, oftentimes, he ends up to be considered intimidating and hard to approach, even by his peers. that in mind, he finds it refreshing to find a soul who can be so casual and friendly around him, not taking into mind his celebrity status.

originally, his thoughts were: ‘someone such as yourself would never survive in the acting industry’. whether you’re actually interested it or not, he can’t help but initially observe you for at least a hot second as if you were a rival of his. he lets go of the thought soon though, allowing his conscience to relax the longer he spends time with you. he finds himself relaxed and pleased by your upbeat attitude.

it’s winter time—naturally, vil needs makeup to compensate for that change in temperature, no big deal. of course, things always seem to be fun whenever you decide to tag along, no? rook seemed to be busy dealing with “hunting for the winter season” or whatever anyways. you weren’t completely used to this high end kind of outside market, but that didn’t seem to stop you as you stayed beside him pointing out all the nice items you saw.

“wow…” you spoke awingly in a loud whisper, more than enough for vil to hear as you intertwined fingers, “the world of the rich and famous is totally no joke, isn’t it?!” vil never wasted an opportunity to spoil you in luxury ( though he doesn’t want you to take advantage, and you don’t, of course ), and yet you always still seemed to be caught off guard by whatever you came across.

“hm,” he hummed contentedly, “i suppose, though it’s nothing special for me.” not as though he intended to brag, it was more so fact and not any kind of attempt to put you down, and you could tell by his genuine smile at your excitement. “if there’s anything you like, i would be alright buying it for you.”

“what?! no way!” you perked up, looking around, almost overwhelmed by what you saw that interested you and had to choose from. “i’ll take you up on that, then!”

vil couldn’t help but allow himself to freely laugh in amusement, then, as he watched you scurry off to the different stalls to look around.

though, he grew to be surprised when you returned with something that, though he knew you were fond of, wasn’t exactly the type of thing you’d select out of everything you could have. now, if it was something that related to an interest the both of you shared…

“this is for the both of us!”

‘ah…of course.’

and, as he imagined, his solemn laugh away from you turned warmer once you had rejoined him and laughed alongside him.

idia shroud —

‘there’s no way he’s surviving here..’ that’s the first thing idia thinks when he first sees you. and then he quickly learned not to be fooled by you, as there’s always more to a person that meets the eye, no? even before formal introductions, he found himself entranced by you and your positive energy.

he would always feel warmer in your presence, but he could never quite tell if it was because he was envious or enraptured by your high spirits. ( of course, it wasn’t long before he found out it was the latter ). and ever since then, he can’t remember the last time his hand wasn’t so warmly clasped around yours.

you always indulged in his interests, just as much as he indulged in yours, even if he didn’t quite understand what the interests of someone completely opposite to him exactly entailed. he gets excited though, when it comes to the interests the two of you share, and he’s always ready to be there and join alongside you…so long as he can do it in the comfort of his room. he’s extremely thankful you’re not too hard on him about it, by the way.

today was one of those days he was even given the blessing of you joining him, casually laying on top of him, sitting on his lap in fact as you watched him engage in some open world rpg boss fights. you had yet to create an account to join him, as through a terrible stroke of unluck, your router was completely busted ( but don’t worry, ortho’s helping you out there ), but that didn’t deter you from joining him one way or another.

“y’know, [y/n],” he starts, and you have a feeling he’s starting one of his usual rambles when he gets in the zone during certain gaming sessions, “i know you love me..a-and, i love you! but…i was super shocked when you wanted to know what i liked, and stuff…”

every now and then he has these sorts of self deprecative rants—and you always let him know you were never one to judge, letting him express his feelings and reassuring him all the while. it was when he let out a little grunt to show he was done that you lifted your hand up to stroke his hair, him leaning into your touch, and gave him a response.

“of course, idia!” you expressed easily, like it was the most natural and correct response, subconsciously lightening his nerves as he got better at the game. “because you’re amazing…so don’t believe anyone who says otherwise!”

he felt a little bit better about himself after that. he hopes you know how much he likes you.

[tosksuki]

Me U & Hennessy

Pairing: Fiance!Connie x Reader

WARNINGS: scratching, biting, nipple play, oral (male and female receiving), fingering , dry humping for 5 seconds LOL, p in v !!!, praising, pet names( sweet girl, baby, mama,) THIS WAS NOT REREAD AND EDITED sorry😊😊😊

WordCount: OOPS I FORGOT LMFAOOO

Summary: After Connie proposed to you with a fat rock you and him moved out of ur apartment and into a huge house. You’ve finally finished settling in and decided to celebrate. Afterall in between moving and working you both been too tired to give attention to the other. Connie misses his baby too much and you do too……..

You slipped off your comfy work shoes and slid the tight rubber band keeping your locs in a bun. “Hi baby! Mommy missed you sooo much” you say as your dog immediately runs up to you making you stumble a little. You crouched and gave him a couple pets before walking to the living room. “Connieeee im so tired” you slid next to him on the couch putting your legs over his. He spread his legs to get more comfy and started rubbed your thigh with his tattooed hand. For a moment he just stared at you thinking about how lucky he was. But fuck so were you. “Hi pretty girl how was work today?”

Can we stay home tonight ?

You ranted on about the new hire messing up your schedule so you had to redo it. You had to perform an emergency surgery on a sick cat someone brought in. Blah blah blah, “yeah mhm” he looks at you halfway zoned out the conversation. He lazily started rubbing your feet and you let out a much needed sigh. “You know I was thinking…lets celebrate since we are both off tomorrow”. You said trailing off and straddling him. Like it was a reflex his hands immediately found your hips and playfully slapped your ass. He let out a groan and bit his lip, “ ‘M missed you so much mama” he says placing sucking hickies where his mouth could reach. You leaned into his touch slowly grinding down on his hardening dick. “Missed you more nie,” you say moaning into his mouth as you held a passionate kiss.

You, me and Hennessy look what you did to me

“Fuck, lemme use this pretty ass mouth” he groaned palming himself through his sweats. You helped eachother undress sliding down onto your knees infront of him. It was so big n pretty, everytime your face to face with it your still shocked. You kissed up n down all thick 8 inches of him. Givin little kitten licks before finally making your way up to the tip. “Quit being a fuckin tease.” He whined , his hips slightly pushing forward to get closer to your mouth. “Your such a baby” you whisper making eye contact as you put you the tip in your mouth circling it with your tongue as you slowly went further down.

My head keep on spinnin

You look into his blown out pupils as you slurrrrrp. He grabs a fist full of your locs just so he can see your pretty expression. “My pretty fuckin eat—oooohhh” he let out a moan. He loved watching you give him head. You were so pretty with ur lips wrapped around your dick. One of your eyes closed bc it’s stretching your thing throat out so good. One of your hands stroking whatever length you could not swallow. “Ff-me ouu shit like that my sweet girl” its so sloppy bubbly spit spilling our your mouth and down to his balls. You brought your free hand up and played with them. Switching I between suckin his dick and sucking his balls. You felt him began to twitch and his grip got tighter than before. “Can you give me ur cum” you begged as you sucked and stroked faster than before. “Y-yea you can have any-any fucking thing” he grabs the sides of your heads as you came in ur warm mouth. Thick splats of cum filling your mouth as your tongue still moves around the tip.

You kiss on my thighs and then you eat it

He grabbed your chin and kissed you sweetly. Tasting the sweet candy you had earlier and his cum too. A long string of spit strung out as your hot kiss separated. “You did so good, always makin me feel good.” You were drunk off eachother. You crawled up onto his lap just for him to pick you up and it felt like you were teleported to your bedroom. He laid your back facing the bed and he traced his tongue all the way down to your sticky folds. Your clit already throbbing. Your precious finance circled your hole with his fingers. “Please stop teasing me Nie”. You felt your face - no entire body heating up. He smiles up at you as he inserted his two fingers watching your face contort. Your hips immediately start to push yourself and ride his fingers. His tongue lapping you up so sloppily. “Bab-mm shit” you whined. “Use your words mama…..” he lifted one of ur legs to ur chest and pistoned his fingers inside of you. He scissored the inside of your cunt to stretch your walls. “Please Conrad, need more” you begged not really sure what you needed but he knew! He curved his fingers slightly upward and he tongue drew the letters of his name onto your clit.

You shifting inside, you got me screaming

“OUUU SHITTT connie” you screamed as spurts of you cream spilled out onto his fingers and face. “Mmmfh u taste so f’n good. So sweet…” connie stood up and slapped his heavy dick on your pussy. He lifted both of your legs up on his shoulders kissing one of your ankles that was decorated with an anklet and his initials C.S dangling from the chain. Hes kissing your ankle so delicately as your pussy wraps around his length very snuggly. “Feels like imma cum already, i need you”. Nie leans forward and kisses all over your face, the new angle makin him.reach impossibly deeper. “Mised my fiancées dick honey. Missed you missed us” you whimpered and moaned as he put a pillow under your hips.

No Trojan on tonight

How can he be so gentle but so rough? His length giving the longest stokes onto your g-spot. “Ngh i-Ohmy God” squelch. Pussy is so fuckin good he can’t talk. Smack smack smack was all you heard as his balls slammed onto your ass. I lovee y-oussss much” he reaches and hand over and played with your nipples. Sucking and toying with them. “Wa-waif Nie” your feet pushing into the bed as you try to squirm away. “Nuh-uh this is your dick , don’t run just take it”connie cooed into your ear. There was a ring of fluids wrapped around his sorry i mean- your cock. You wrapped your arms around his neck wanting him to get impossibly closer.

Hold up, I'm 'bout to cum, no, false alarm

Thats when he pressed down onto your lower half. “Wh-whYa are you f-fuck—ing me like this” you moaned and tears began rolling down your face. You felt like you could feel your inside be mixed and destroyed. You started to flutter around him. “M’ so close baby please” you whispered. Your arms fell from his neck to his back as your nails began to dig into your fiancés skin. He let out a strained groan as you scratched his toned and tattooed back. “I need you mama , fuck can we get married.” Hes so whipped, proposing to you again like this? You moaned as your body started to twitch against his. You started fucking him back. “Yes connie yes yes yes” you eagerly nodded “im gonna cum.” You whimpered. “Cum with me pretty, i love you so bad” he let out a strained moan dipping his head in the crool of your neck.

Then look at you like it's finna be you

Your clit rubbed against the base of his cock and you lost it. You cried out for your Fiance as your body contracted ,creaming. His cum throwing thick sputs deep into you. Hes biting and nibbling into your shoulder, “soso good so perfect y/n”. Your named rolled off his tongue so easily . Hes still pushing his cum inside of you. Slow lazy strokes. “Love you so much connie”. He flips the both of you over and covers your naked bodies with your thick covers. Hes still in you plugging you up. He’s sound asleep , looks so peaceful and handsome. He’s your big baby , finally gonna be Mrs. Springer in a month and you couldnt be more happy. Your head finds its way to his beating chest this was home, he’s your home.

I say my head keep on spinning

Me, Hennessy and you

Okayokay I hope you enjoyed! Just to remind some of you, do not and i repeat DO NOT sleep with cum inside of you like this , it can fuck up your ph balance. Also practice safe sex and after doing the do PLEASE GO PEEEE!!!! this is not optional 😪 okay bye have a great day/night/week/month/year/life!

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook/platonic!OT7

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐝 [Part 3: Glow]

And suddenly, the thing you feared most becomes the only thing you can seem to trust.

Main tags/Warnings: Werewolf!Jungkook, Werewolf!Bangtan, strangers/enemies to lovers, romantic Jungkook x reader, Platonic bangtan x reader, eventual smut, mentions of past emotional/psychological manipulation, hurt and comfort, fluff!, some angst, actually a bit more than just some, but we're getting spicy

Length: 2.5k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

🌲── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ─🐺─ ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──🌲

None of it makes sense. Or at least, you refuse to let it make any sense.

Suddenly, the medications in your drawer look more like poison to you, as you anxiously unlock your phone to search up the name of it online. But the moment you do, you accidentally accept Jungkook's call- who's unaware of the panic you're in right now. "I was wondering where you were. You're not ghosting me right now, are you?" He laughs, jokes, but you can't really see any fun in it right now.

"I'll- Jungkook can I call you back later?" You say, trying to sound normal- but you don't, because Jungkook's now serious tone gives away the fact that he knows something's up.

"Everything okay?" He worries. "You sound upset." The alpha wolf states, and you sigh, running a hand over our face.

"Yeah- yeah!" You force out. "I'm good, just, a little sick. That's all." You stutter out, staring at the now opened letters from your mother and the final notice you got today.

"I'm sorry but I'm not buying that at all." He sighs on the other end of the line. "Do you need anything? Even just some company?" He asks, offers, and you're not sure about that. "I can just stay on the phone, too. Don't have to come over or anything-" He rambles, when you swallow thickly, cutting him off.

"Do.." You start, before you summon all of your strength to speak it out loud. "…Do you know a medication called Amatropin O-plus?" You ask, and he's quiet for a moment, before he answers you.

"I know of Amatropin A-plus. It's.. a prescription medication used to control instincts in prime-Alphas." He explains, and you put your phone down at that, putting your face into your hands. "Why are you asking?" He presses, saying your name after to gain your attention back.

"What the fuck.." You breathe out. "I'm gonna lose my job- my whole life-" You rant, deadline for your IC-evaluation test staring back at you, before you grab your phone. "How do I get out of an IC test." You demand to know, voice quivering.

"What are you talking about?" Jungkook asks. "An IC-evaluation is mandatory, you can't just get out of one. But why are you even-" He suddenly stops. "…I knew it." He suddenly says.

"Knew what?" You bark. "Knew what?! Has everyone been lying to me now?" You break, as Jungkook's voice is heard again.

"Can you let me in?" He asks, and you're not sure what he's talking about- when a knock is heard on your door. and as you open is, he's right there, ending the call before he slips his phone back into his pant pocket. And you're not sure why exactly you do it- probably some weird wolf-shit that you just don't understand yet, but you just open the door fully, and let him hug you for a good little while.

"What do I do now.." You whine, while he closes the door behind you, and wraps both of his arms back around you.

"We'll figure it out." He reassures. "Can you show me the notice?" He asks, and you part from him and sniffle, collecting yourself a little to walk him into your bedroom, where the floor is littered with ripped open envelopes, handwritten letters, and lastly- the notice, right next to your opened box of medication. You sit down in the mess, and he himself takes his place right next to you, taking the official notice for himself to read over it. "It's a final notice. Where are the other two?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Probably having been sent to my mother." You say, defeated. "God my whole life is over." You complain, face in your hands.

Jungkook doesn't want to pry, but as he reads some parts of the handwritten letters, he begins to put one and one together. It's not unusual- especially with omegas, situations like this happen more often than not, really. Parents hiding their daughters and sons either out of shame or fear- and in this situation in particular, he doesn't know which one it might be.

Some parents are ashamed due to the stigma russounding omegas. Others are afraid because of how they're treated, and how often they're the victims of crimes.

"She knew. She.. must've known that they'd send me this, right?" You ask, and Jungkook shrugs, trying to contain his own instincts right now. You've probably not taken your medication since yesterday now, because your smell is now a lot more present than he's used to.

"Absolutely." He agrees. "She probably didn't react to them either, which is why they searched for your personal address now for the final notice." Jungkook explains. "You can explain to them what your situation is though. I'm sure they can offer you more time to prepare."

"But I've been technically living alone in the city illegally, right?" You worry. "I've been working illegally- oh god what if I go to prison.." You whine, and he runs a hand over your back in comfort.

"You didn't know." He tells you softly. "I'll help you with things, okay?" He offers, and you nod, trying hard to calm down now. "And I'm sure you have a place with Namjoon and the pack too, if they really deem your score turns out too low to stay here." The wolf comforts.

"She's not even my actual mother." You mumble quietly, staring at the letters with an empty gaze. "She knew all along what I was, but she didn't want me like that. She just.. kept me because she promised my dad to take care of me."

Jungkook feels for you. Omegas aren't seen very fondly, especially not by humans- simply brushed off as sex-hungry beasts who can't even take care of themselves properly without a pack or alpha around or a dick inside them. Which is entirely untrue- but years of written fantasy novels and the misuse of them in online erotica and porn in general has given them a stigma they can't shed. Just like alphas are said to be violent creatures with no sense of control, Omegas are just filled with lust and nothing else.

He's upset at that. You don't deserve to be forced into a situation like this- no one does.

"But that's the past now." He tells you. "I very much want you just the way you are. And I promise you, the rest of the pack won't mind you either." He explains, and you nod.

"Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply, before you lean into him, clinging onto his warm body. "Thank you." You mumble, and he can't help but smile.

"No problem."

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Not surprised." Yoongi says as he finishes his food. "She might've been able to fool other humans, but not other wolves." He says, while Jimin sighs.

"Poor thing." He sympathizes with you. "I remember my mom went through the same thing. She was so glad when I turned out to be a Beta." He remembers, and Jungkook nods.

"I'm going to try and push the evaluation date back as much as I can today." Jungkook explains. "There's no way she can just be evaluated in two weeks, when she's never even had enough time to prepare. It wouldn't be fair at all.." The alpha wolf complains.

"It's never unfair to them in any case." Namjoon worries to himself. "I still can't believe that they're still seen as something to be ashamed of. I mean, that's her mother we're talking about." He shakes his head. He doesn't know the full situation yet, and Jungkook also doesn't want to involve them too much until you yourself want to.

"I'm more concerned about her safety." Yoongi argues. "Is she taking her suppressants?" He asks Jungkook, who shakes his head.

"She's scared of them now. Refuses them." He explains.

"So you left her?" The alpha growls. "You left an omega alone, who's never even experienced her own Instincts without any control before, and is under added pressure of her entire life basically falling apart?" He scolds angrily, causing Jungkook to shrink in on himself.

Yoongi can be quite intimidating.

"Yoongi has a point." Namjoon offers a lot more kindly. "I'd suggest you either stay with her, or even better bring her here so she's in a safer environment while she adapts to things." He suggests.

"I can ask her if she wants that." Jungkook nods, before he gets up. "If not, I'll stay with her instead." He mostly tells himself, leaving the packhouse.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Hoseok wonders. "I mean.. we all noticed it.. right? Will he be okay alone with her?" He asks, and everyone grows a bit more quiet.

Because you're not just any kind of omega.

And everyone worries about the added challenges you might face because of that.

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

"Maybe you should ask about a lower dosage before you just quit them like that-" Jungkook tries, watching you struggle with your clear headache next to him on the couch.

You shake it softly. "No, I don't have time for that." You deny. "I've got too much.. paperwork to fill out and all.." You complain, raising your head to look at all the unopened and opened letters on the table, stacks of paperwork ready to be read and filled out with your personal info as soon as you want to.

Or can, in your case.

"You do have time." He gently argues. "Half a year, remember? Six months to prepare, and these documents don't need to be signed for another three weeks." He attempts to explain to you. "Please think about your health first. Quitting medication you've been on for years just like that isn't a good idea." The alpha urges, and you sigh.

"I don't want them." You argue however. He knows it just has to be overwhelming- if not just mentally, then physically as well. Your body is entirely confused and out of balance now that the usual hormones and other ingredients of your medication aren't present any longer. And yet, you refuse to see anyone for it, and he doesn't know why

Is it shame? Embarrassment? And if so, what does that say about what you think of him?

But he swallows that down, or at least tries to, when you furrow your brows in confusion, suddenly looking around, before your eyes find him. He looks at you in question, when you stare into your kitchen in alarm, getting up to check- but on your way, you already stop, because no, that smell is not coming from there at all.

One look back just offers you Jungkook sitting still on your couch, confused as ever.

"I.. you.. smell that too, right?" You ask, and his golden eyes are unsure.

"I don't really know what you mean." He asks. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Something.. burning. I don't know. It smells like.. I'm not sure, like plastic burning almost." You cringe, and at that, his face softens.

"I'm sorry. That's.. probably me." He chuckles a bit as you walk back towards him to sit down once more. "Your senses are probably.. I guess returning as they're supposed to be." He offers.

"But- my meds are only for instincts-" You start, when he shakes his head.

"No, they're used to prevent sensory overload." He explains. "That's a bit different. It's to basically shut down all the things that make us.. well, different. Our instincts get shut up, our senses become dull, and in turn, our own scents and stuff become almost unnoticeable too because our bodies dont produce the same hormones and stuff." He shrugs. "Which is why I'm trying to tell you you shouldn't just cut them off like that. It'll be incredibly hard to go through that." Jungkook offers.

You feel horrible for him.

For years you believed all the stories told, never actually thinking about what he or any of his kind must be going through. He probably deals with all of this daily but knows how to handle it- and from what you read online, his instincts are even stronger than most.

Which is another thing you want to know more about.

"Jungkook.. what does 'prime' mean?" You ask. "It's.. like, it's in front of your sub-gender, and on the evaluation invite it said the same for mine." You wonder with a good amount of worry.

"That's something for another time." He offers, while you wince from the pain in your head as you move it too quickly to follow him with your gaze as he walks towards the kitchen. "For now, lets settle with some simple human meds for your headache, and then we'll visit a specialist, okay?" He questions, squatting down where you sit on the couch with a glass of water and some regular headache pills.

"...you don't have to go everywhere with me, you know." You mumble, reluctantly taking the items from him- mostly because your headache is getting unbearable at this point.

"I can ask someone else from the pack then- but you shouldn't be out in this state by yourself." He sighs, before he takes his place sitting next to you again.

"Why not?" You whine, after taking the pills and eagerly chugging the cold water down. Somehow, you feel thirsty.

"Because.. You're pretty much a walking target right now." He sighs. "Wolves might not be what they always say but they're still.. some have the potential to be dangerous, let's just say it like that." He offers. "Your scent alone.. is like a drug to alphas especially." He says.

You watch him for a moment.

"Even for you?" You ask, and he shrugs- and only now do you notice the sweat on his hairline.

"Even for me." He nods, before he smiles. "But I've got good self control, so no need to worry." He tries to joke- but you don't find it funny at all.

"I'm sorry." You shake your head, staring into the kitchen where the medications lay. "I.. didn't think about how this could affect you at all.." you apologize, but he just shrugs it off. "No- it's not fair on you at all. You're being nothing but nice to me and I'm acting like a child basically.."

"Your whole life got turned around. I don't blame you for anything." He just shakes it off, and it doesn't make the weight on your soul feel any lighter.

"Jungkook.." you ask quietly, and he leans a bit closer to hear you better. "Can we... still be friends now? Even though I'm.. an omega and all?" You worry.

And Jungkook just laughs.

"Of course we can."

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

[tinyidle]

Oh god 😳 This isn't a smut request. It's a horny rant too good not to share.

I saw Yeji sitting next to San in fashion week... i see the way they're postured. How they are dressed. The aura they have... San is not fucking Yeji. Yeji is FUCKING San.

Yeji teasing San with her fingers. Groping him when no one is paying attention. Making him feel so flustered and horny as he lets Yeji have her way. Yeji whispering lewd appraisals right into the San's ears.

Yeji leading San to her room after the show is over. Yeji getting him to strip and kneel. San eating Yeji's pussy. San being equally submissive when Yeji wants to suck his cock. Yeji riding San cowgirl style. And dare I say, San getting pegged by Yeji.

you know anon.. you woke me up from my tumblr nap, and here i am to give you my delicious thoughts!

when i saw that yeji and san were sitting next to each other at milan fw for the dolce & gabbana event, i wished that kpop wasn't so narrow-minded and allowed these two powerful beings to interact with each other. i feel like they could be genuine buddies

but enough with the sfw thoughts.. onto the dirty ones nsfw (switch!san, switchdom!yeji, teasing mention, oral mention, pegging mention, all fiction ofc)

*ignore the certified cock-blocker in the middle (╥﹏╥)*

you got switch!san and switch!yeji to a T! despite them both being equally shy, for some reason i think yeji's "cruella"-like outfit would have her feeling a bit more confident as she would be the first one to make a move on him. i mean, in this l'officiel clip she's clearly leaning unto san, and with san being so wide in the shoulders, he can do nothing else but allow it to happen.

i just know that she slipped her room number in his hand before leaving, her slanted-crescent orbs shimmering with lust once she saw his cheek dimple as he smiled. i bet he tried so hard not to get hard in his loose slacks as her beautifully manicured acrylics slightly brushed his legs as they watch model after model showcase the season's outfit of choice from the main fashion designer.

fast-forward to them being in the hotel (assuming all guests stayed in the same area of hotels), san slipped the same note yeji gave him underneath the small opening of the doorway, making the younger woman smile in knowing her spontaneous advances paid off for once.

what she did not expect, however, was for the taller man to push into her room, closing the door as he'd slam her to the bed, kissing her plush lips like crazy. yeji'd go absolutely berserk as she'd give in to him, but only for a second. you know how you said she's lead him into her room? well, she certainly would, after she'd peel san off of her.

getting san on his knees like that one vid of the man being fed a drink at a bar while yeji slowly and seductively unrobes herself, showing off the black lacy lingerie she wore to the fashion show. meanwhile she traces her hand across san's chiseled jawline and barely grazes his open chest from the top he's wearing when she kneels does to look him eye-to-eye.

"use me and ill use you," she says to him before giving him a kiss on the cheek and putting one foot on the bed as she pulls down her panties, revealing her soaked cunt. all that'd be heard is a soft curse coming out of san before he rushes to go to town on the younger woman.

and don't get me started when she goes down on him. him on the bed doing his best to not choke yeji with his length as the woman takes her time worshipping it just like he did with her core.

with the actual sex... cowgirl, holding down and fucking up into her-- pegging (because they're freaky like that) and her holding on to his nearly nonexistent waist.. at the end of the night, they're spent and exchange numbers to one day catch up with each other once they both reach korea again.

im sorry i talked too much-

[blackypanther9]

Spicey Christmas – Steve Rogers x Male!Reader

A/N: The fucking amount of research I had to do, just to write almost most of this stuff was torture. Do NOT recommend, I might not do something like THIS ever again. T-T This took was too much time to make. Instead of twerking I did a lap dance and tried my best with it, I hope it was detailed enough, I am not good with writing any dances in detail. TvT (The request i can't hang on because it was so long and I couldn't minimize it so F me...) This was also requested as a Christmas Oneshot, I am a bit worried that it actually went to smut instead of spicey, but fuck it, I already accepted it and now here it is. *Shrugs shoulders* Took a decent ammount of time too. That is the reason why I don't do smut requests anymore, but whatever. I found the time, so here it is. I hope it is okay. And I am ranting again...Sorry ! Have fun reading it.

Requested by: @lovefanfiction01

Warning!: Anal penetration, Blowjob, dirty talk, degradation AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!

M/n sat on the couch in the common area of Avengers Tower. He was sucking on a Candy cane. Sadly they didn’t had his favorite, which was peppermint, so he had to take the normal, boring ones. The other Avengers were all on a mission, on Christmas, M/n felt bad for them, they had a mission to fulfill, while M/n and his Lover, Steve Rogers, had a free day.

Speaking of Captain America. He sat next to his Lover and saw that M/n was disappointed with something.

“What’s wrong, M/n ?”, he asked.

M/n stopped sucking on the cane and sighed in frustration.

“The damn Candy cane doesn’t taste good. The flavor is absolute shit. I regret buying them as replacement for my mint ones.”, he answered.

Steve stared at M/n for a while and started to blush deeply at a memory and idea in his head. He decided to go along with it.

“I might be able to help with that.”, he said.

M/n looked at him in intrigue.

“Oh and how ?”, he asked.

Steve got up and started to take off his pants and boxers, then he got on his hands and knees, pushing his ass in the air. He looked at M/n, who seemed shocked.

“Shove it inside me.”, Steve said.

M/n looked at him, unsure. That was candy, means it is sticky. What if it will be stuck inside Steve ? He wasn’t ready to do that.

“Please fuck me with the Candy Cane, Daddy.”, Steve begged, blushing a deep shade of red.

And there went M/n’s dignity. Steve knew what that name did to him. M/n could feel himself harden quickly in his pants. This was so not fair... M/n got on his knees and looked at the twitching ring of Steve’s man cunt. Then he used the long end of it and gently guided it in, which made Steve groan.

After a decent length was inside it, M/n pulled it out again and pushed it back in, making Steve mewl and whimper in slight pleasure. M/n repeated the motion three more times, then he grew scared that the sticky candy will stick inside Steve’s hole, so he pulled it out.

Steve whimpered as M/n pulled the cane out entirely, then he licked it himself and groaned.

“Such a good slut, aren’t you~?”, M/n purred out.

He sat back down on the couch, eating the cane. Steve stood in front of M/n with his chest leaning towards M/n’s face and his ass slightly out, he then slowly lowered himself onto his Lover’s lap. He wrapped one leg around the back of M/n’s strong back for support, and then the other. M/n always had a very strong back, so Steve didn’t need a chair for what he was about to do.

“I hope you will enjoy my teasing.”, Steve whispered out into M/n’s face.

“Oh, I already am~”, M/n purred.

Steve blushed a deep shade of red. He wrapped his arms around M/n’s neck and started to move his body up and down. He pressed his chest slightly to M/n’s and their crotches touched from time to time too, which made M/n growl slightly, a bit possessively. He continued to eat his cane and swore, that as soon as he is done, he will get Steve to suck him off, then drag him to the bedroom and fuck his brains out.

Steve leaned his face close to M/n’s and gave him a quick kiss, then pulled away, M/n tried to follow his lips and growled when he found out he couldn’t. As Steve lifted his ass again, M/n smacked it with a smug smirk, Steve yelped and moaned at that.

Steve slowly unwrapped his legs from M/n’s back and stood between his spread legs. He placed his hands on M/n’s knees, and moved toward his face, and then slowly lowered himself, then he moved his body from side to side with his face near M/n’s stomach.

“Such a slut~ Want to suck my cock that eagerly already~?”, M/n degraded, not knowing that Steve had a long tease in for M/n.

Steve placed his hands on his Lover’s sides for just a second, and then slowly worked his way back up. M/n growled at that in slight irritation. He was not in the mood to be teased.

“Such a bitch.”, M/n degraded again.

Then he stood in front of his partner and moved his hips in a simple figure eight until he saw that M/n looked like he couldn’t take it anymore, almost all of his candy cane was gone by then too. Steve moved his hands from the air to his chest, brushing his fingers over his hardened nipples and then down to his sides as he did this he turned around, while working it, showing his ass and shaking it a bit.

“Fuck, show me more of that ass and I might ram it good tonight, whore~”, M/n growled, ready to pounce him, sitting on the edge of the couch.

Steve firmly pushed his partner back against the couch, and stood in front of M/n.

“What a fucking teasing slut you are.”, M/n growled out, determined to get Steve laid tonight with a heavy punishment.

He didn’t let their bodies touch. He moved his hands up and down his body, like he was rubbing bubbly soap all over himself. It was sensual, and Steve closed his eyes. He pretended he was actually in the shower, so he won’t lose focus.

“Pretending like it was me, Whore~? No one, not even you, can touch you the way I can~ Your teasing will get you in huge trouble, Baby~”, M/n warned darkly.

M/n tried to reach out to touch Steve, but the Avenger just slapped his hand away. He turned around while he was standing between M/n’s legs, and slowly lowered himself until his hands were near the floor and he was shaking his ass near his partner's crotch.

“Fucking hell...you bitch enjoy yourself, aren’t you ?”, M/n growled and finished his candy.

He continued to move his body seductively as he did this, and then slowly worked his way up to standing position again.

The cane was gone at that point and M/n growled, feeling teased enough by Steve. He grabbed Steve and forced him on his knees, then unzipped his pants and stared down at Steve.

“You better start sucking my cock, before I drag you to our shared room and deny you your orgasm for at least three days, while I cream each and every hole of yours, bitch.”, M/n growled darkly.

Steve let out a soft while, but did as told. He fished out M/n’s rock hard cock and took him in his mouth. He gave shy kitten licks and M/n tsked. He grabbed the back of Steve’s head and pushed him down all the way, until his cock was in his throat. Steve expected this and decided to hollow his cheeks out.

With M/n’s cock so deep in his mouth, Steve started to salivate like crazy and all his saliva dripped out of his mouth and onto the floor or ran all over M/n’s cock, making it nice and wet. At first it was slow, but it got quicker. Then he pulled and pushed Steve’s head up and down his cock in a rhythm he wanted, as Steve got the hand of it, M/n let go and Steve took control back. His lips were wet, like he just took a shower.

“Such a fucking teasing slut. This is what you were made for, serving my cock. You hear me, Bitch ?”, M/n scowled.

Steve pulled away with a groan.

“Yes, I understood. I am only to serve and worship your thick, big cock, Daddy.”, Steve replied.

Then he took M/n’s cock back inside and sucked again with purpose. After a while he pulled away again.

“I’m sorry for teasing you, Daddy. Did you at least like the show ?”, he asked and got back to sucking and salivating all over M/n’s cock.

At that point his cock was dripping with saliva onto the floor.

“I would have enjoyed it more, if you wouldn’t have denied me, touching you, Slut.”

Steve groaned and took M/n’s cock all the way down his throat.

“You are my personal cockwarmer, right, Bitch ?”, M/n growled.

Steve pulled away again.

“Yes, I am, Sir.”

“Good. Finish me off, Whore.”

Steve got back to work and M/n could feel himself close soon enough. He decided to do something else though.

“Whore, get off of my cock and shake that ass for me again. On your fours, ass in the air, got it ?”

Steve instantly obeyed, got on all his fours, stretched his ass up and shook it from left to right again. M/n didn’t need long to jerk himself off.

“Here is your icing to that giant Christmas cookie~ Fuck~”, M/n groaned darkly and then came onto Steve’s ass, even pushing some of it, that ran down his crack into his hole.

To which Steve moaned.

“Thank you, Daddy...”, Steve said and only then did M/n realize, that Steve creamed himself too.

He tsked and picked Steve up.

“You seriously think we are done here ? You teased me, that screams for punishment and now you even came without MY permission.”

Steve whimpered in submission. M/n gave him a dangerous, dark smirk.

“Oh, we will have fun, Pet~”

With that M/n dragged Steve to their shared bedroom. This was FAR from over.

[coolingrosa]

Hi omg hi I don't know if this is too long sorry I'm gonna rant but: Ur RoseVerse is literally so inspiring u urself are literally so insanely inspiring. I'm sugarcoating it when I say what you're doing in RoseVerse is revolutionary for this community, I love every single bit of it so much, and you've inspired me to expand and change things for the better with my own upcoming utmv series for an original multiverse. Haha ok now on to an actual question: Was Killer aware of the Multiverse before Nightmare brought him in? It kind of seems like it since at one point he complains about how Nightmare tells him about the date/time, like it's obvious how you don't use a mortal system for it, or how when they first met Killer was all like "I know you're a killer, you're a bad person" etc etc.

Hello!! This is one of the sweetest messages I’ve ever gotten, and please don’t ever apologize for the length! I LIVE for asks ns every time I get one, no matter the size, I get giddy. Messages like this motivate me to push through the monster that is chapter four! (I’m trying my best to get it out fast, but that thing is 20k words rn and only at the climax, so it’s gonna take a little bit longer! But I swear to you all you’re gonna love it! I’ve been putting my college writing classes to work, and I’m already preparing the accompanying animatics to go along with it!)

I’m so glad my work can inspire you to create and make wonderful things, as I believe that the Undertale multiverse is something so fun to mold into whatever you want. My friend Null, the official VA for Orchid Frisk (who will be used in memes and promotional material), has equally amazing multiverse and the ideas spanning in that is awesome.

Don’t ever give up on your creation, as I’m sure it’s going to be other people’s comfort someday too. People out there may read your fics on a bad day and feel utterly warm. I had that with FTFOS, and now I, glad to hear I can do that with others with my own content.

As For Your Question….

Killer was unaware that the theories of a multiverse existing was true. He had heard his father speak about it, and also dug into some of the studies he did, but he never got to have the standard lab experience most Sans’s do since he was so young. Therefore, he never got to dive too deep into the findings and make his own theories. However, Killer isn’t stupid. He’s only seen as the least smart in the gang because he is the youngest with the least experience in school. The others have college level knowledge while he only has highschool, so naturally, he’s unable to be as aware as the others. He is incredibly emotionally smart and perceptive, tho. He plays his own game that will be covered more in chapter four, and once Nightmare brought him in, he could put two and two together that Nightmare being gentle towards a mass murderer didn’t bode well for his own past. People like that don’t look such dark individuals in the eyes with confidence unless they have blood on their hands too.

As for the time and date, Killer was more annoyed that they didn’t HAVE that system. He understands why they don’t, and it makes sense given what they have to work with, but he’s still peeved about it because he’s peeved about EVERYTHING at fifteen LOL! He’s bored out of his skull and a rebel teenager! Give him at least a solid clock to track his days for Fate’s sake!

[herroyalhighnessqueenmomo]

Faded Memories (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader) |Part 12|

A/N: It's baaaaack!! I know this took literally for fucking ever and I am so sorry to make y'all wait so long. I'm hoping the length of this part makes up for the wait a bit.

You woke up right next to Eddie. You were in his arms as your head rested on his chest. You looked up to see his sleeping face. You kissed his cheek and went to get up but got pulled back into his embrace. "No I want you to stay here." Eddie grumbled out. You giggled. "Eds come on I gotta get up." You struggled against him.

He only grumbled again in protest. "Edddie." You whined. He peaked his head up. His eyes were squint from the harsh light coming into the room. His hair was getting into his face and it honestly looked like a chicken landed on it. You snorted out a laugh from seeing the expression on his face. "Just stay in bed with me. We can sleep in." He said gruffly.

You looked at the digital clock beside the bed. "Eddie its already about to be 12:30, how much more do you wanna sleep in?" You asked. He didn't answer. He only nuzzled his face into your neck. You caressed his hair as he laid practically on top of your chest. "We got a lot to do today. We have to find me a job since I was pretty much forced to quit unexpectedly last night. Then we need to tell our friends that my memory is back officially and-"

"Our friends already know your memory is back." He mumbled out into your neck. "No, only Nancy, Robin, and Steve. The kids don't know and neither does the rest of Hellfire. Plus the guys at your shop would be thrilled to find out my memory is back too." You explained. "I'm not going to the shop on my day off." Eddie deadpanned. "Okay then we can go to the shop tomorrow." You replied.

"Oh and let's not forget we need to talk about how we will go about making our marriage legally official. Personally I think we should just elope and get married at the courthouse." At hearing this Eddie has shot up and looked at you wide eyed. "What? Did you forget that I wanted us to get married?" He shook his head. "No that's not it. I just can't believe you would actually just want to elope and not hold a ceremony." He replied. "Why is that so hard to believe? I mean you already had an actual wedding before. You don't need another one just to marry me."

He still looked at you in disbelief. "You're telling me you don't want a real wedding? Isn't this something you have always dreamt of?" He asked you. "Why? Because I'm a woman? You automatically think I have always dreamt of walking down the isle dressed like a pretty princess in high heels? With a big bouquet of flowers. While everyone I know watches me shine?" You began to rant. Of course you have wanted that but the concept seemed odd to you. Over two months after Eddie's first wedding he will have another one with a completely different bride?

You surely weren't trying to be the topic of conversation going around in Hawkins. If the two of you went along with the idea of an actual wedding the whole damn town would be whispering about the spectacle. "If you're sure you don't want an actual wedding then I would be completely fine with eloping." Eddie stated breaking you out of your thoughts.

You gave him a nod. "Then its a plan. We'll elope."

The two of you ended up calling all of your friends and told them to meet at Nancy's office. You double checked with her before hand and she said it was okay. You were getting ready and Eddie was taking a shower when you heard a knock at the door.

You became a little nervous wondering if it was Kendra. You chucked the idea as you got closer to the door realizing she would just walk in if it was her.

You opened the door and your heart damn near sunk to your ass as you saw your mother. "Y/N M/N L/N. I thought you were in New York to go 'find yourself' but then I heard you were still in Hawkins. You lied to your father and I?! You didn't just lie to me you got married to Eddie Munson? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" She asked as she crossed her arms.

Your mouth was agape as you struggled to come up with words. "Well? I'm waiting." She said seeming impatient and frustrated. "Mom it really wasn't like that. Its much more complicated. I really was supposed to go to New York." You tried to reason. "So what you accidentally missed your flight and married your best friend instead? Did you really think your father and I wouldn't approve or something?"

You shook your head. "No thats not it. I didn't miss my flight to New York. Mom you didn't hear the news about what happened?" You asked her. She shook her head. "No you know damn well that our TV doesn't work that well and your father is too cheap to purchase a new one." She replied.

Your mom had no idea that for this whole time you were gone about what happened to you. You now understood why she was so upset. You forgot about your parents. For all she knew you were in New York and never let her know you were okay. "Mom my plane crashed." All color drained from her face. "It what?! That can't be true. I-I oh my god I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" She asked as she took a moment to examine you.

"I'm fine now mom. I had temporary amnesia and Eddie took care of me. The hospital wouldn't let him visit me until he told them he was my husband. When I woke up he told me the same thing, that he was my husband." You explained. She scrunched up her eyebrows. "I don't understand, why would he do a thing like that?" She asked.

"Because I realized I was actually in love with your daughter." You heard Eddie's voice emerge from behind you. Your mom crossed her arms as she looked at him. "It took you this long to realize that?" You turned your head to look at him. "No. It just took me this long to actually do something about it. I didn't know she had feelings for me too." He replied.

She huffed. "So then you two aren't actually married, just living together? Your father won't be happy about that. He's going to want you to move back home." Eddie wrapped his arms around you. "Well we were planning to actually still get married." He said.

You nodded and gave her a smile. "Well actually I decided we should just elope so that we-"

Your mother put her hand up for you to stop talking. "I'm sorry you want to what?"

"Elope...we don't need to have a big thing out of it bec-" You began to explain. "And you were okay with this idea?" Your mom asked as she looked at Eddie. He shot up his hands in defense. "Hey don't look at me. I tried to tell her we could still have a wedding but she wouldn't listen."

Your mother looked at you again. "Why on Earth would you want to elope? I thought you always wanted a wedding? Hell you even nagged me for eloping with your father myself."

"Thats because you guys deserved an actual wedding." You tried to reason. "And you don't?" She shot back. You remained quiet. "Your father and I eloped because I couldn't leave my parent's house until I was married and they didn't like your dad. Your grandfather refused to help if we had a wedding and we didn't have money at the time." Your mom explained.

You nodded. "I know mom." You looked down at your feet. "Then you know you have a choice to actually do a wedding or elope and regret it the rest of your life." She stated. You gave her another nod. "Y/N you are my only daughter. I want to see you happy. I would love to see you in a beautiful dress and walk down the isle with your father beside you. I know that in the end you will do whatever you want but I think you should take what I said into consideration."

You took a deep breath. "Okay mom." She smiled. "I love you honey bee." She gave you a hug. "I love you too mom." You hugged back. "Now I better receive an invitation to a proper wedding soon or the next time you see me you're going to get another earful." She stated as she pulled away. You let out a laugh. "Okay I get it mom." Your mother was about to head downstairs. "Hey mom?" She looked at you. "Yes Honey Bee?" "Aren't you worried that people are gonna talk about how Eddie is marrying me less than 3 months after marrying someone else?"

"Hon, people are always gonna talk no matter what. They don't directly affect your life so don't let their words prevent you from being happy. Besides, since when did you start caring about what people say to you? I thought I raised you different than how I was raised. I raised you to keep your head held high and to march your feet to the beat of your own drum." She advised.

You knew your mother was right. The woman could be a damn sage if she wanted to. You learned that the best thing you could ever do for yourself in life is always listen to her. "I love you mom." You smiled at her. "Love you too Honey Bee." With that she left.

You shut the door of the apartment and leaned back on it. You looked crossed your arms as you looked at Eddie. "Well I guess we are having a wedding after all." He had a huge smile on his face and went to embrace you. "Have I ever told you how much I loved your mom?" Eddie asked as he hugged you.

"You might've mentioned it once or twice in the past, yeah." You laughed. He pulled away from you. "Now go get ready so we can head out. I'll make us some late breakfast in the meantime." You gave him a nod and went to the bathroom. You brushed your teeth and went to to take a quick shower. Afterwards you walked out the bathroom in a towel and went to your shared bedroom to get dressed.

You searched your drawers and decided to throw on a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt and black jeans with your white All-Stars. You threw your hair up in a side ponytail and walked out of the bedroom. You smiled at the smell of food. "Mmm something smells pretty damn good." You stated as you walked over to see Eddie placing some scrambled eggs next to two slices of bacon on a plate.

He handed the plate to you. "Bone apple squeeze or whatever it is the French say." He said. You burst out into laughter. "It's bon appetit." You corrected him. "Gesundheit" He replied. You laughed again. "No babe I wasn't sneezing I was telling you how the French say it. It's bon appetit." You explained. "Could've fooled me." You rolled your eyes and put your plate down on the table and got yourself a cup of water then took a seat at the table.

You began to eat. Eddie walked over shortly after with his plate of food. "Tastes good Eds." You stated. "Good. I'm not much of a chef." He sat down and began eating too. "Hey babe?" He looked up. "Now that the cat's out of the bag about my memory being back and all, can you tell me what happened between you and Kendra? From what I thought, you guys got married that day of the plane crash. Then I wake up and you decided I was going to be your wife." Your curiosity got the better of you and you just had to know.

He took a deep breath. "Well, after the ceremony when we officially got married, I went to the backroom where I last saw you to look for you since I didn't see you anywhere else." "Okay." You nodded for him to continue. "That's when I found that note you left me about having to leave to catch your flight. By the time I finished reading it and I realized that Nancy, Robin, and Steve helped you to move, I was pissed." You furrowed your eyebrows. "How come?" "Well they did that behind my back and let you leave Hawkins. So I confronted them. The girls were just as pissed too because they blamed me for you leaving, which, to be fair, they were right. They stormed out of the backroom and Steve tried to level with me."

"But what does this have to do with Kendra and you?" You asked. "Let me get there." He replied. "So anyways, that's when Kendra came into the room bitching about me leaving her out there alone when we just got married. I personally didn't give a shit at the time, I just wanted to figure out where you were so I could bring you back. After that I think it was Robin who came rushing in for us to come over to the bar to watch the TV. That's when we saw the news about your crash." He took in a shaky breath and his eyes started watering as he remembered the sinking feeling in his gut when he thought you were gone forever.

He cleared his throat. "Anyways Robin figured you might still be alive but in one of the hospitals in Indianapolis so we frantically looked in the phone book for the name of the hospital. When I called they were too busy to confirm if you were alive so I decided to head there myself to find out for sure. Of course Nancy, Robin, and Steve wanted to come too."

"Wait, and Hellfire club didn't want to come with?" You asked. "Oh, I don't know. They were in the corner away somewhere doing, god knows what at the time." "Oh." "Anyways. By the point that's when Kendra got pissed because she didn't want me to leave the reception. She knew it was a matter of life and death and she didn't even give a shit if you were dead. All she cared about was the stupid wedding. When I realized she didn't care about the most important person in the world to me, I couldn't be with her anymore. I decided to get our marriage annulled and that was pretty much it."

"Wow, I knew Kendra could be a bit of a pretentious bitch, but damn she wasn't even concerned in the slightest if I was okay?" You asked. "Nope." "Damn. Well good fucking riddance. I never liked her anyways." You responded. "Apparently nobody did. I just have a shit judge of character."

"I don't think you have a shit judge of character." He looked up at you with a raised eyebrow. "Okay your judge of character was a little questionable, but I think you're getting better now." His softened as he gave you a small smile. "Thanks."

The two of you finished eating and left the apartment via Eddie's notorious, slightly more questionable than his judge of character's, van. When you got to Nancy and Jonathan's place you noticed you two were actually the last to arrive. "Oh great, we're the ones who made the invite and ended up being the last ones to our own scheduled hangout. Good fucking going, Munson." You half joked.

He snapped his head over to look at you so quickly you could've sworn you heard his neck crack. "How is it my fault?! Last I checked it was your mother who decided to drop by and cause us to be late." He sassed. You blinked a few times not expecting that response. "Well then." Was all you said as you hopped out the van and went inside the ex-diner. Eddie was speeding right behind you.

"Well look who finally decided to grace us with their presence." Dustin said with a very disapproving and sarcastic tone. "Yes, I'm sorry that we were late it was my mother who had stalled us earlier before we left." You said very pointedly and gave Eddie a criminally offensive side eye.

Nancy cleared her throat. "So why did you bring us all to my office for?" She asked. "Right. Um, so as you may all know. I was recently in a very dramatic and tragic plane crash that thankfully didn't kill me. Which by the way some of you," You looked over at the Hellfire Club. "Hadn't come to visit me since then."

"Um excuse me, I call bullshit, we wanted to visit you, Eddie was the one tha-" Eddie made quick big gestures for Dustin to quit talking immediately with his hands. You saw the gestures from the corner of your eye and looked over at Eddie to see him try and play it cool by whistling while looking the other direction. "Eddie what?" You asked Dustin as you furrowed your eyebrows.

It got quiet all of a sudden making the silence awkward. "He told us that you didn't want visitors and that meeting new people would make you hysterical." Will suddenly spoke up. "He what?!" You snapped your head over to look over at Eddie who was avoiding your gaze. "Hysterical? Were you trying to make me sound like a mental health patient?" You asked him.

He gave a small shrug. "Well...technically you were, your mental health had memory loss." He said quietly. "Tha-That's not the same!"

"I feel like we just accidentally opened a can of worms for them." Lucas stated. "Yeah, no, shit Sherlock." Dustin replied. "Okay man, just back off, it's your fault that they're arguing anyways." Lucas snapped back. "I didn't do anything, I was just simply trying to clear my good name. Will here was the one who actually spilled the goddamn beans."

"Me? You clearly started it and just left Y/N hanging without a clear answer I-"Will began but cut off by Steve. "Okay guys knock it off. Y/N, Eddie, for the love of God would you guys just actually tell us what's going on?"

You took a deep breath. "I wanted to announce to everyone that I officially have my memories back." Everyone cheered. "And?" Eddie nudged you lightly. "And we are making our marriage legit." Everyone kind of clapped but some of them were a little slow as they all looked at each other in confusion. "I'm sorry did I miss something? Your marriage? When did you guys get married?" Mike asked. "We didn't" You replied. "That's why we are going to make it legit." You responded.

"I think what Mike is trying to say is that the way that you say it implies that you two are somehow already married." Dustin chimed in. "Oh that. Yes, so since you guys didn't already know, while my memory was out Eddie took me in and had me believing he was actually my husband this whole time. When I got my memory back I just decided to go with it. Last night we agreed we want to be actually married to each other legally." You explained.

"I am somehow more confused then I was before." Jeff said suddenly. "Its a really long story. The important thing is that we are getting married." You replied then looked over at Eddie and gave him a smile. "So....that's it?" Dustin asked. "What do you mean, 'ThAt'S iT'?" You asked him confused. "Were you expecting something else?" He shrugged. "Well I don't know I just would have liked something that was more...I don't know...dramatic?" He tried to find the words. Your mouth was wide open. You looked over at Eddie. In your mind you were hoping he'd handle his child before you blew a gasket.

"Man, what are you talking about? They just announced they were getting married." Lucas tried to reason. "She just woke up from a coma literally two months ago!" He exclaimed. "Sure but did anyone really doubt that they were going to end up together?" Dustin asked as if it was obvious.

"Yes!" Everyone exclaimed.

"He married somebody else." Erica reminded him. "Yeah but for only about a week. That hardly counts." He argued. Eddie huffed. "Well little sheep. If its a touch of drama and shock you look for, then don't you worry." You looked over at him confused. There wasn't anything else to tell. "We're also planning to have a baby."

"What?!" Multiple people exclaimed. "If that's supposed to be an April Fools prank it isn't funny." Robin stated. "Eds we haven't really worked the details out on that." You whispered loudly. "What's there to work out? I mean with what happened last night after I kind of-" You rushed to cover his mouth to spare everyone in the room the trauma. "You then plastered a nervous smile as you looked at the group. "Please tell me you're joking." Nancy stated.

"Dustin you just had to push to hear something dramatic didn't you?" Mike asked. "Well how the hell was I supposed to know they were already planning to start a family? I just wanted them to justify calling all of us over to the same place at once when I was in the middle of creating my very detailed practice diaroma of how I wanted to eventually propose to Suzie next year."

"Dustin you have been making that damned diaorama for over a year. Just put us all out of our misery and just propose to her for the love of Mike!" Jeff exclaimed. Mike had a very serious face and looked unamused. "Sorry." Jeff apologized. "Nonsense, it needs to be perfect." Dustin stated. "Well your need for perfection caused all of us some blissful ignorance." Erica sassed. "Well sorry I was unphased by them wanting to get married. So I wanted some entertainment. Sue me."

"You challenged the Dungeon Master. Why would you challenge him like this?"Gareth asked. "Okay guys seriously we are standing right here. We can hear everything you are saying." You decided to state.

"Well yeah, that's the point." Erica replied. You tried to blink away the shock you felt. "I don't see what's so bad about us starting a family." Eddie finally decided to speak up. "Well typically I've seen couples you know not wake up one morning and decide to get married and then have a baby seconds later." Robin chimed in. "But then again I'm not straight so maybe I can't comment on what's normal."

"I'm not straight either and I'm pretty sure this is definitely not normal." Will stated. "We aren't a normal couple though." Eddie replied. "We are anything but normal. It might not make sense to you guys but to us it does." You added.

"Y/N, I think what we are all trying to say is that we really don't want you guys to accidentally hurt each other...again." Nancy tried to reason.

I nodded. "I get it Nance. I honestly appreciate you wanting to look out for us."

"I'm mostly trying to look out for you. I was the one who was there baawling your eyes out because of him. That really wasn't that long ago. As much as I want to believe this is going to work out for the both of you I have my doubts." Nancy admitted. "Maybe you forgot but he was married to someone else merely a few months ago. He only seemed to really care about you when he knew he couldn't control you anymore."

"Hey whoa, no, hold on. What the hell Nancy? What kinda guy do you take me for? I would never want to control her." Eddie stated trying to shut this shit down.

Nance glared at him. "No? Then what do you call over a month of lying to her and making her believe she was married to you? Looked like manipulation to me."

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Do you not want to see us happy?" Eddie asked.

"I don't care if you're happy Munson. I care about Y/N being happy. You weren't there to pick up the pieces of her heart that you broke. I don't trust you and I sure as shit don't trust you to be the father of any child." Nancy spat out.

Eddie was speechless. He knew Nancy wasn't his fan. Especially not after you got hurt but he didn't expect this. He was angry. Not entirely angry at her. It was actually more with himself. He was his own enemy. "You're right." Was all he muttered as he walked out of her small office space.

"You see? He is a God damn coward." Nancy pointed out. "What the hell Nancy?" You shot her the dirtiest look at her. "What?" she seemed confused. "Was that really necessary? I know Eddie isn't perfect. He knows he isn't perfect but he has been busting his ass everyday to make up for the pain he caused me. It's not fair for you to just throw it back in his face like that. He would never something like that to you and neither would I." I felt my face getting red with anger. "Eddie and I will get officially married and start a family together whether either of you like it or not."

I began to head towards the door. Then turned back around. "And another thing, Eddie would be an amazing father. He practically raised the Hellfire club like his kids. How fucking dare you imply he would be a shitty father. He knows what it's like to have a shitty father and he is the type of man to do everything in his power to make sure he won't be like his dad. Nance I love you. You're my best friend but if this is how you plan to treat my husband and future father of my children I can't have you around us." With that I made my exit to look for Eddie.

There was deafening silence after you walked out. "I knew I shouldn't have abandoned my diorama for this." Dustin said finally breaking the silence. "I'm going to kill you." Steve said.

Taglist

@thegirlthatsfalling

@fangirling-4-ever

@lechera-con-leche

@toomanybandstocare

@fujiihime

@sashaphantomhive

@urmomgov

@harrys-titties

@thedarkwolfserenity

@missgay15

@h-ness1944

@frozenhuntress67

@therezeesworld

@rhijonrs

@yeswhatever33

@mcueveryday

@mattefic

@livasaurasrex

@mel119g

@basketcaseeeeee

@kaitcreatesart

@bleachbetch

@grungegrrrl

@theforgottenages

@eddieussy

@mattymurdocksbitch

@brxkenartt

@iamaslutforcoffee

@metal-sunflower

@midnightmystic

@tlclick73

[gladdygirl18]

Okay okay, ik it's been a while since i posted one of these but believe me, i gotta some stories ready!!! This I feel is gonna be a relatively long post (covering 2 days and 2 nights) so to read it, it will be below the cut

Blue me, pink GF

So on the 15th, MLK Day, I had just gotten back to campus from Chistmas break (loved it, went to Disney ✨🤩) and after my father had left and dropped off some of my belongings, my GF was waiting for me by one of the school gates to head back to her place. She was so adorable and clingly cuz the last time we saw each other was the 8th when she and a mutual friend of ours came to visit my place (had loads of fun 💖🥰)

So when were back at her place, we end up watching some JJK. After a while, my GF and I went into her room to cuddle and make out (to make up for lost time) and she couldn't help but poke me and kiss my neck constantly (i felt like i was on cloud 9, I was so happy 💖🥰💖🥰) Also, we have this thing where we take turns laying on top of one another, being the others weighted blanket (this time it was her turn to be the weighted blanket) and while she was on top of me, she proceeds to tickle me, and she lets out this EVIL LITTLE GREMLIN LAUGH (very endearing) THAT MADE THE TICKLING WOOOOORSE 😳😆💖

Okay, mini side rant: my GF has NATURALLY LONG AND HEALTHY NAILS that i am a bit jealous of cuz i want my nails to be somewhat the same length (and they're beautiful, easpecially when they're painted), but THEY TICKLE LIKE HELL OMGGGGG 😳😳💖

"Weighted blankets ahahaharen't supposed to tihihickle the person under thehehehem!"

"Well..... I'm a special weighted blanket~😈💖"

Once things settled down between us, we went back to the living room to socialize and watch the new Percy Jackson series; it was great. Ofc, whilst watching, my GF insisted on kissing my neck and tickling me (damn near has become a daily thing for her to do, and I am not complaining in the slightest 💖🥰)

The next day (the 16th) my GF and I just stayed in bed for about a good few hours (mainly cuz I didn't get a wink of sleep and when my alarm went off, that's when I finally fell asleep 😅) Once I had woken up and was conscious, my GF took me in her arms and just hugged me, and I proceeded to snuggle into her 🥰 before she lightly traced her nails all over my torso. I grabbed the hand that was tickling me and said, "You're nails make it tickle a lot worse!" "Well, guess I should keep them like this for a while~"

MAAAAA'AAM HELLLOOOOO!??!!?!?! 😳😳💖💖🥰 (i mean i'm not complaining....)

Later that night, my GF, our mutual friend, and I were playing some SSBU and I was getting my ass kicked: I only won twice, my friend won at least 3 or 4 rounds, and my GF won almost every 4-5 rounds in a row (so I was a little salty, and to add salt to the wound, she kept killing me, saying, "I am so sorry, I was aiming for *our mutual friend's name*") I know she meant what she said but it still kinda hurt, and I was getting tired of losing everytime (yeah yeah yeah, call me a sore loser idc....) But one thing that made it all the worth it was that while I was gaining the upper hand on her....

SHE PROCEEDS TO TICKLE ME WHILE I WAS WINNING 💖😆😂😳BROOOOOO WTFFFFF

The amount of fanfic i have read and audios i've listened to with the video game+tickle trope.... To think I would experience that omgggg!!!! And the same shit happened when we were playing Mario Kart!!😳😆 Like bro, I knew she was competitive but to think she'd use ticling as a tactic to win blew my mind 😍😍💖

Don't worry, I got her back too. Whenever she would have a perfect kill streak (kills my character 3 times) I proceeded to tickle her

"It wasn't my fahahahault! I wahahahas aiming fohohohor *our mutual friend's name*! I'm sohohohohohorry!" (her laugh is to die for I swear 😍💖🥰)

That night while we were getting ready for bed, I was still a bit salty that I kept dying in SSBU and falling off the sides in MK. My GF noticed this and proceeds to lay on top of me and says, "Come on babe, let me see your smile" When I refused, she started tickling me lightly with her fucking NAAAAILS OMGGGGG 😳I proceeded to cover my mouth to NOT show her my smile

"Come on hun, let me see your pretty smile, please~?"

After some time when I finally showed my smile, she kisses me and says with a laugh, "Ahhh, I love tickling you"

AHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE ASCENDED OMGGGG 😆😍🥰💖🥰😍😆💖 I WANTED TO CRY, I WANTED TO SCREAM OMGGGGGG!!! SHE REALLY SAID THAT! OMGGG I WANNA CRYYY 😆💖😭😭💖

After settling down, I wanted a hug (me is clingy). My GF turned around and said, "Awww, you're adorable." while proceeding to hug me

"No, I'm not"

"Yes you are. You're adorable, cute, and pretty~"

I TOTALLY wasn't blushing like an idiot 😳😳😳 (for someone to say those things to me made me feel so happy 🥰💖)

"Am not"

"Are too. If not then what are you?" proceeds to lift my face by my chin "Go on, admit you're adorable"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll tickle you~" with her signature gremlin grin

UUUUUHHHHHHH MA'AM YES THE FUCK PLEASE 😳😳💖💖😆

I scoffed and turned over, "Yeah right" (wanting to be tickled again)

"Oh, so you doubt me?" proceeds to place the tips of her nails on my belly (you could practically hear her smile, "You doubt me?"

I turned my head away and didn't answer

"You left your neck wide open babe~" and proceeds to kiss my neck and tickle my belly. While trying to push her hand away while laughing (never worked in the fanfics, def not gonna work irl 😅) she says, "Come on hun, say you're adorble!"

"Okay, okahahahay!" she stops the tickling and stares at me with her hazel-ish silver eyes. i look at her and say, "You're adorable~" (hey I said what she told me to say 🤷🏾‍♀️)

She groans before tickling harder on my stomach, making me laugh louder "That's not what I meant you little shit!" (says in a playful, endearing, and loving way)

When she stops, she looks at me and says "Admit you're adorable."

"Fine, fihihine...... i'm.... adorable..."

"Heheh, I know."

And turns over as if nothing happened. I scoff before I start tickling her back.

"What dihihihihid I dohohoho?! I didn't dohoho anythihihing! Stohohohop"

"Say you're adorable!"

"Okay okahahahay! I'm adohohorable!" (she taps out a lot quicker than me cuz she says she doesn't like being tickled and yet at certain times, she doesn't mind it in the slightest, so I'd want to think I'm rubbing off on her 🥰💖😈)

After we kissed goodnight, we finally went to bed

This was one HELLUVA tickle tea story, but again, this was in the span of 2 days and nights, so ofc there'd be a lot! I really hope you guys enjoyed this as much as me experiencing this! More TTS's to come, so stay tuned!

Edit: my bad, forgot to tag the fwends @giggly-squiggily @cutesmokes @burningablaze @lovelymessybubbly @otomiyaa @sunstone-smiles

[rred-gaze]

Sorry if this is kind of a bother but frankly I'm genuinely quite curious what your thoughts are on Yesod, or like, personal hcs and such! ( Mostly curious since some of your other posts with Verg were very silly! And frankly it's just nice to hear ppl rant abt their fav characters n such )

oh!!! dw i like asks, esp about characters i like :] i made a LONGGG list of hcs for him when he was my #1 blorbo that i added to over the years, i’ll put that and some general thoughts under the cut

headcanons:

-transmasc he/they. super gay also

-can say fuck. chooses not to.

-he’d probably tug at his clothes when he’s nervous (gloves, turtleneck, tie)

-malkuth is his friend! (and taller than him i decide the heights now)

-ROLAND IS HIS FRIEND

-he seems to like moons (moon the the bottom of the department in lob corp, in his ruina symbol, you can see a moon from his platform)

-(based on the moon thing) likes astronomy :)

EDIT: i have learned that in actual kabbalah yesod is known to be the sephirah of lunar consciousness so i think that connection to his character is really cool

-takes good care of his hair it would be silky and sofd <3

-if he ever had long hair he’d put it in a ponytail (turned out to be true: see beta designs in the artbook)

-lob corp yesod would have to wear long gloves if he was ever forced to wear short sleeved shirts

-gets cold easier than others (i know he was a Cube so he wasn’t actually wearing them but a turtleneck under a suit?? if he doesn’t get cold easily he’d be melting :( if it were sleeveless it’d be a bit better but still)

-the sephirot robot forms only have one eye. yesods was on the left. his bangs in ruina are on the right. most of his hair minus the bangs look pretty much the same length so this implies he grew his bangs out on purpose. what if he couldn’t get used to having two again. also he has no depth perception

-got that high intelligence low wisdom. can recite 60 digits of pi but doesn’t know what a handshake is

-what if he has fangs. like a v. like a vip. like a vi

-he likes shiny things...like an crow....give him a coin......

-wakes up at the asscrack of dawn

-you seen his floor? that man likes vaporwave. and also lights in general, i think

-likes tea (also turned out to be true? he’s drinkin some in that one credits cg)

-probably has a small plant in his office, likes gardening a little

-leaves you on read

-clicks his pen when he’s focused, doesn’t notice until someone tells him to stop

-doesn’t really like soda but thinks sprite is okay

-he smells like lavender i think

-doesn’t like when people make a big deal out of his birthday but he appreciates gifts and the like nonetheless

-gets bad caffeine jitters

-he’s a flirty drunk and gets extremely embarrassed about that when he sobers up

-uncomfortable in large groups, he gets overwhelmed if he’s around a lot of people for too long

-hovers around the people he’s closest to if he’s forced to be around a lot of people

-focuses the best if he’s by himself

-malkuth and yesod are siblings because i like them. this also makes elijah and gabriel’s deaths more sad

-yesod can do hair, he learned how to braid because elijah liked having their hair braided when they were younger

-i rotate them being twins and yesod being a natural brunette in my head sometimes

-if he were a snake he’d be a mangrove pit viper or lavender albino king snake i think

-he likes looking out the big tech sciences window to relax

-has a lot of scars across his body from scratching, i personally think he should’ve had his hand scars in ruina

-good with computers but complete shit at video games. he’d know the Lore to games he likes but absolutely cannot play them.

-likes the sound of computer fans and keyboards

-he’s totally autistic

self indulgent

-he seems like he’d get really flustered if you showed him any sort of affection, ESPECIALLY in public. hug him and he short circuits and dies

-if you ever managed to befriend him he seems kinda calming to be around when he’s not pissy. kinda guy you’d sit out in the balcony with in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep in a comfortable silence. might show you constellations if you wanted

-covers his face when he blushes

-would get super red when he’s embarrassed, tries to avoid people and hides away in his office

-touch starved but can’t ask for affection to save his life

-i think he’d show affection with little things yk. puts a blanket on you when you pass out on your desk. he’d probably try to cover it up with professionalism though. like “i noticed you haven’t eaten, think about how that’ll affect your work performance” instead of “eat something i’m worried about you”

-might also just sit near or lean on you

-if he likes you enough he’d be softer and more forgiving

-i personally tend to assign my character fixations flowers for some reason,,,he gets hyssops :) hydrangeas and lavender also make me think about he

jumbled thoughts:

part of the reason i like him so much is because i tend to have a thing for cold/stoic characters who are soft on the inside. yesod is only cold and sharp-tongued because he needs to be in order to succeed in lob corps environment. he doesn’t want to get attached to people. he cares so much that he couldn’t allow himself to feel anything at all, esp in an environment where he’s trying so fucking hard to reduce deaths by setting rules and keeping order but people die every day regardless. not only that, but his job was to destroy information that could potentially save those same people. he gets MAD if you let his employees die because he cares about them.

i also used to try and spread my rolsod agenda all the time, i think their relationship is fun

oh yeah and he’s totally OCD-coded. one thing i’ve always liked about projmoon media is how great their representation of mental illness is. both because it feels very accurate and real and a lot of horror media will just drop in a mentally ill person and go “ooo scary mentally ill person being scary bc they’re mentally ill oooo” but the horror aspect in lob corp is focused more on the horrible things that caused him to act that way. he became obsessed with rules and safety because elijah broke the rules and tested the cogito on herself, leading to her slow and painful death.

just a couple things i find cute about him:

-i know the viper nickname is supposed to be threatening but i think snakes are cute and so is he

-robot form <3

-that hair tuft

-HIS SMILE!!!!!

-his voice is hot okay byey

i don’t talk about yesod as much anymore because i can only have so many men at the forefront of my mind but make no mistake i still adore him

[summerwritesfics]

🦋An Accident

Pairing: Valeriya Mikhailov/Watanabe Ai Length: 1457 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Accidental Injury, Injury, Blood and Injury, Crimes & Criminals, Organised Crime The Ruby Butterflies Arc 1: The Butterflies Emerge

The Ruby Butterflies Masterlist

Notes: I actually wrote this back in 2021 😭 But back then AO3’s rules on Original Works weren’t as clear and I didn’t wanna risk it. Anyway, enjoy my crime lesbians.

Ai could hear the murmurs of a rant in Russian from the corridor. She couldn't help but gulp slightly. Gabrielle had told her to not bother the Doctor if she could hear ranting in the other's mother tongue, but this was unfortunately not something that could really wait.

She glanced at her bleeding hand. An accident, genuinely it was, she just got a bit carried away with a shipment of knives. She'd never realised until joining The Ruby Butterflies that knives could be so pretty. She wasn't even sure how she'd managed to cut herself, but she had and now she was bleeding.

She reached the open door to the doctor's office, Valeriya was at her desk scribbling on the paper and talking to herself. Ai didn't know Russian but she assumed it was most likely swear words spilling from the woman's lips. Nervously she held up the hand that wasn't bleeding and knocked on the door. The way Valeriya's head snapped over to her almost made her reconsider but she pushed on regardless.

“Ah, I am sorry to disturb you Dr Mikhailov, but I wasn't sure if this should wait,” she explained, feeling very uncomfortable under Valeriya's hard gaze. She held out her cut hand as an explanation, watching as Valeriya's face actually softened when she saw it.

“Oh, little sun, what did you do to yourself?” Valeriya spoke as she stood up and walked over and took Ai's hand in her own. I wasn't expecting that.

“It was an accident, I... Uh... Got a little carried away with the knives.” Ai felt her cheeks heating up as Valeriya adjusted her glasses to take a better look at the cut. Why is my heart still racing? She isn't angry at me like I thought so…

“A little?” Valeriya asked as she gently led Ai into the doctor's office. Ai was settled down onto a medical cot, while Valeriya walked towards her cabinet to collect some supplies. “Are you allergic to anything?”

“Not that I am aware of, no,” Ai confirmed, watching as Valeriya snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. Soon the doctor was back by Ai's side, with what looked like a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and some medical wipes.

“I need to clean the wound first and then I can assess the damage,” Valeriya explained, taking the top off the bottle of alcohol and pouring it onto one of the wipes. “I am hoping you have gotten lucky and the wound is mostly superficial.”

Ai nodded, there was definitely a lot of blood but hopefully it was a case of it looking a lot worse than it really was. As the wipe was brought to the wound, Ai couldn't help but jerk back slightly and hiss as it stung.

“Sorry,” Ai apologised, feeling extremely embarrassed by the pathetic display. She must think I'm an idiot.

“No, I should apologise little sun, I meant to warn you that this may sting slightly,” Valeriya countered, once more bringing the wipe to the wound. Ai managed to not pull away this time. “I believe this is the first time we've spent any time alone together.”

Ai was a little taken aback by that statement. It was true, Ai was still fairly new to the syndicate and the only times she had really interacted with the Doctor was during a few meetings they'd had. Still she hadn't expected the other woman to have even really taken notice of her.

“I... Yes, I think it is?” Ai replied sure her confusion bled through in her voice, but weirdly felt a little more relaxed when Valeriya chuckled.

This isn't what I was expecting from her. Honestly the way Gabrielle spoke about the doctor made her sound like a monster, but Ai wasn't seeing that right now. Maybe initially, but that intense anger had seemingly disappeared the instant Valeriya had seen the blood.

“May I ask you something, my dear?” Valeriya asked. Ai couldn't imagine what the question would be but she nodded approval anyway. Not like refusing would do me any good. “How did someone like you end up here?” That was certainly a question Ai asked herself frequently. “Do not take this the wrong way, little sun, but you are hardly the criminal type.”

“I guess not?” Ai wasn't sure what the criminal type was but she understood where Valeriya was coming from. Ai was very introverted, shy and she didn't like getting involved with the more violent parts of criminal life. She was very happy being in the background and simply doing the more administrative tasks within the syndicate. “I... Mostly just followed Satomi.”

“Ah. Following big sister to make sure she doesn't get into too much trouble?” Valeriya's tone was light and joking but really it wasn't too far from the truth.

“Someone has to,” Ai joked back. She loved her sister, lord knew she did, but good grief did the other woman have a talent for getting herself into trouble. “Our mother had links to the Yakuza though, it inspired Satomi's... Uh... Passion for crime.” Ai reached up to curl a strand of her hair around her finger. “I just happen to be better at the organising side of things.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Valeriya offered, pulling the medical wipe away from Ai's hand. “Honestly this place has needed someone with that skill set for years, your contribution is truly appreciated... At least I do. Honestly it is nice to have my supplies brought in so well organised.” Well, it was nice to know her efforts were appreciated by someone, but Ai guessed that Valeriya also took more of a back seat to the main action within the group. It seemed reasonable she would appreciate someone else in a similar position. “Your injury was, like I suspected, less severe than it looked. I think simply a bandage will suffice.”

Ai gave a little sigh before she whispered, “Thank goodness.” She felt a little silly, having made such a fuss over such a small wound, but at least now she knew. She watched as the Doctor made her way over to her supplies again, looking for padding and gauze. Ai's curiosity got the better of her. “What about you? How did you end up here?”

Valeriya laughed under her breath, as she made her way back to her patient. “Ah, let's just say, the medical board does not take kindly to you stealing and selling powerful medications on the black market.” She sat back down in front of Ai and took the padding and placed it against the cut. “Gabrielle was already someone I was in contact with, and when she discovered my, hm, legal issues, she offered me a way to escape.” She reached for the gauze and began to wrap it around Ai's hand, seemingly taking care to wrap it tightly but not too tight. “The escape involved me working for her, and the rest as they say, is history.”

Valeriya finished wrapping up Ai's hand, and seeming satisfied with her work pulled away and removed the gloves at last. Ai held her hands up to look at the bandage.

“I'd avoid using it too much for a few days, and I will need to replace the bandages every now and then, but...” Ai almost jumped out of her skin when Valeriya's hand settled on her head. “You should make a full recovery, little sun.”

“Oh. Thank you Doctor Mikhailov,” Ai said with a blush, not entirely sure if the hand on her head was a weird form of endearment or something else. It felt intimate, and Ai couldn't tell if that was intentional or not.

“Ah, Ai, my dear, no need to be so formal.” Valeriya finally removed her hand, instead adjusting her glasses and looking at Ai with a fond smile. “Call me Val.”

Ai stood up, starting to make her way towards the door, but stopped just short of Valeriya. Well, Val now I guess. “Um. Then thank you Val.” Ai bowed slightly, before returning to standing. “I hope I wasn't too much of an inconvenience.”

“Never,” Val replied, winking at her and Ai felt herself blushing all over again. What was happening? Why was such a tiny gesture making her act like a schoolgirl with a crush? “I do hope from here on we can get to know each other better.”

Oh, this is happening isn't it? Despite internally screaming at the sudden realisation that she was attracted to the doctor, she replied with, “I hope so too!”

She then quickly exited the room before she could make even more of a fool of herself. By the time she got to her room she was sure she was about to explode.

[saltyr3mix]

Outsider smp Owen hair head cannons: I've had thoughts about this and wanted to share. Ok so, Owens Minecraft skin that he uses in the smp has hair buns. and i will die on this hill. I think through the entire time in the maze Owen had space buns or pigtails.

Owen is also like 35. So there is a 35 year old man. traumatized by being a child soldier and war criminal....even if he doesn't know it at first. And he wears space buns. I don't know why but that makes me so incredibly happy.

And also this means hes matching with Apo and Magic. Who also have their hair tied up in a similar way.

If you want my full personal head cannon. Owen didn't know what to do with his hair at all when he first entered. At first it wasn't even long enough to tie up. But months passed and he was getting extremely annoyed when it would fall into his eyes while training or stick to the back of his neck after long days in the maze. He was complaining to Apo about this one day and Apo's like. Hold on man i've got this.

The demon comes back with some twine, thin cloth. Or whatever the closest to rubber bands that they have in the clearing. And does Owen's hair up in buns. Owen laughs at first thinking he looks slightly ridiculous. But slowly learns to love them. when they eventually fall out he goes back to Apo asking to do them up again. Apo eventually teaches him how to do it himself and the pair have matching buns through out the more peaceful time of clearing. Sometimes they even dragged Rasbi in. They often placed flowers and other pretty forestry in each other's buns as decoration.

Flash forward several months/ years depending on what you believe. And Magic enters the scene. Owen wants nothing to do with Apo at the moment because he was lied and betrayed to by the demon. One day he comes out with his hair down, everyone a bit surprised they hadn't seen it like this scene the very early days of the clearing. Magic figures out that he's upset and offers to help. He needing something to distract himself and not wanting to have to deal with the mess of long hair in his face when entering the maze, lets the younger mess with his hair. Magic tries a a few styles, just some funny ones to cheer him up a bit. even threatening to dye it crazy colors. In the end Owens hair is up in buns again. But whereas Apo's were small and tight better for just keeping the hair from being a bother. Magics had more volume and airy. They were more for display than function. But he wore them around anyways to match magic and even use them to make fun of her at times. Only it would always end up backfiring. He no longer puts flowers in them. Flash forward again and Owens is cleaning Apo's blood off his spear. In the reflection he sees the buns and flash back to soldier rules on hair length kick in. He picks up some sheers and cuts it all off down to appropriate length. The others cant tell if that was a good or bad thing. Magic is a bit upset they don't match anymore. But Owen assures her that it was only having hair that long was bothering him. By the time Owens locked up having committed multiple murders his hairs a bit out grown again. Not helping with the heat. He can't help but hate that it only proves how much hes fallen from his soldier glory.

Anyway, i also think at one point he dyed a streak of his hair orange. It might have even been a prank on him from either Oeca or Apo that dyed his hair that way. But it didn't stick around only last for a handful of weeks.

And yeah! Outsiders may be long over but i've finally found a place to talk about it so im going to! Sorry not Sorry for the rant he means a lot to me. And if you like this idea let me know.....i might write a fic about it....i've certainly thought about it but idk if i would have the time.

[choke-me-joey]

Omg! jq + 44 pls

Yessssss i got u boo

44. Just shut up and fuck me.

Joseph Quinn x reader

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, rpf (don't like don't read), engagement sex, brief blowjob, lots of dialogue lmao soz I picture him as a talker during EVERYTHING, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it kids), creampie, lil bit of fluff to finish it off

Hoe-vember/Dick-cember masterlist

You'd barely gotten back to your hotel room and taken your bloody shoes off before Joe is rambling away.

"Are you sure you like it? And it fits okay? Fuck, should I have waited until Christmas to ask you? I wanted to do it here, I know how much you love Paris-"

"Joe."

"-and I love Paris too, and I love you, and I just wanted to ask you so fucking bad, and Jamie said you'd love it, but you can tell me if you don't love it and we can get you a different one-"

"Joseph."

"-I just remembered you said you liked simple rings but is it too simple? I can get you something bigger-"

"Joe!" You shout, laughing. He stops mid-rant, blinking at you. "Stop, babe. The ring is beautiful, it fits me perfectly, I couldn't be happier, I love that you asked me in Paris, I was hoping you would. Jamie was right, babe, I love it. And I love you. Now-" you close the hotel room door behind you and smile at him. "Just shut up and fuck me."

Joe laughs loudly, a smirk plastered across his face as he strolls over to you, putting his arms around your waist. Your arms come up around his neck.

"Sorry, I'm an engaged man, love." Ah, this game. You love this game.

"Oh? And what's this fiancée of yours like then?"

"Oh, she's fucking amazing." Joe sighs, playing the love struck fool. "She's beautiful, smart, funny, talented...plus she's got the best pair of tits I've ever seen."

"Oh yeah?" You cock an eyebrow playfully.

"Mmhm. Plus, she gives the most insane blowjobs-"

"Joseph Anthony Francis Quinn, is that really any way to speak about your future wife?!" You feign offence, squealing as he lifts you up and carries you to the bed. He throws you down on the plush hotel mattress, grinning at you from the foot of the bed.

"Well, luckily my future wife is fucking filthy, so I don't think she'd mind."

"Hmm, want one of those 'insane blowjobs', do you?" You tease, running your tight-covered foot over the crotch of his trousers, feeling his cock twitching to life.

"Wanted to make tonight about you, love." Joe smiles, unbuttoning his shirt slowly as you watch him.

"I think you already did that," you smile, wiggling your left ring finger at him. "Besides, wanna show you how grateful I am, seeing as you went through all this effort..."

"Well, I did work pretty hard..." Joe smirks, playing along. You sit up and crawl to him, cupping him through his trousers.

"So hard, babe," you look up through your lashes at him. He groans, letting you unzip his trousers and pull them down, followed by his boxers. You let his cock spring out and you admire it, stroking it slowly.

"I would say do you want a picture, but you've got loads," Joe chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. "You taking in the view?"

"Just thinking about how some women would dread the same cock for the rest of their lives...I'm pretty fucking happy that I have this cock for the rest of my life." You slowly pull back the foreskin to reveal the sensitive head of his cock. A dribble of precum leaks out and you wrap your mouth around the head, flicking your tongue in the way that drives Joe crazy. He sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth, hands coming to either side of your head to guide you along his length.

"Fuck, Y/N, babe, you suck my cock so good," Joe moans, his head thrown back as you swallow down more of him. You open up your throat and take him in, the tight, wet warmth making his legs shake. "Shit, shit, fuck, don't make me cum baby, wanna cum inside you."

You pull off of his cock, gasping slightly. You gently jerk his saliva covered dick and smile up at him. He lets out a growl of a laugh when you twist your wrist on the upstroke, and your other hand cups his balls, squeezing gently.

"Can't help that I love sucking your cock so much, Joey."

"And believe me love, I'm beyond thrilled that you do, but...what was it you said earlier for me to do? Just shut up and fuck you?"

"Yeah, well, I got distracted." You giggle as he climbs on top of you, situating himself in between your legs.

"Understandably. I am devilishly handsome."

"And so very modest." You laugh as he crosses his eyes at you, making a stupid face. Only Joe could be so fucking goofy and so sexy at the same time. He laughs with you, peeling off your tights and unzipping your skirt, discarding both of them somewhere in the room. "Hey, watch the jumper, you, this was expensive."

"I seem to remember having a jumper like this...oh, yeah until my thief of a fiancée decided it was hers."

"What's yours is mine and mine is yours, baby."

"Is this the part where I say I do?" Joe carefully removes said jumper, laying it on the floor gently, before ridding you of your underwear. "Cos I do think your body is banging."

"Romantic. But no, it's the part where I say, get inside me, please."

He doesn't hesitate, and slides into your pussy with ease.

"Shit, you always get so wet for me, babe." Joe groans, stabilising himself so he can move. "Wanted me to fuck you that bad?"

"Always," you whimper as his fingers brush over your clit; you were on edge already. "Fuck, baby, just like that."

"Look at me." Joe says, the firmness in his voice turning you on even more, if that was possible. You fucking loved it when he was like this. "Want you to look at me when you cum for me, okay, baby?"

You nod, nails digging into his back as his fingers move quicker over your clit. Joe knew your body so well, he never struggled to make you cum. Your orgasm washes over you within minutes, walls fluttering around Joe's cock. As promised, you look at him as you cum, your mouth dropping open as you moan out his name. Satisfied, he kisses you, pulling you up into his lap. You wrap your legs around his lower back and your arms around his neck, foreheads pressed together as he fucks up into you, his breathing getting heavy letting you know he was close.

You kiss along his jaw, his neck, and the shell of his ear. Joe moans softly as you nibble on his ear lobe gently.

"Cum inside me, Joey, wanna feel my future husband's cum filling me up." You breathe into his ear, and his fingers bite into your hips as he comes with a breathy grunt against your collarbone, his release flooding your pussy.

"Shit..." He pants, your skin growing damp from his heavy breathing. "Fuck, that was intense. I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too," you whisper back, and you share a soft, tender kiss.

"Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Joe mumbles against your lips, his fingers stroking your cheek softly. You rub your nose against his.

"Me neither, Joey."

[ar-agon]

Home

Paul x Reader

Summary: Your home life has always been the greatest but Paul makes sure you know that you always have a place beside him.

Length: 1150

It took him an embarrassing amount of time to realize something was wrong. What finally clued him in was how you didn’t scold him and Marko for messing with David or when you didn’t roll your eyes at any of the jokes he had made. You had just sat on the fountain's edge and started at your hands. It was like you were somewhere else entirely for a few days. When he finally noticed, it was just you two in the cave. He sat down next to you slowly. He said your name softly causing you to jump like you hadn’t noticed his presence.

“Oh, hey Paul,” the smile you sent his way was small with a sad tilt to it as if you wanted him to think that everything was okay.

“Hey, babe,” he said, “what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” you shake your head, “I’m just a bit tired. It’s still hard to get into the routine of sleeping during the day.”

He knew that part was true. You had just joined their group not too long ago and you were still human. Though he also knew that something else was bothering you. He just didn’t know what exactly would be putting you in this type of mood. You had always been happy since you started to live with them in the cave. So, seeing the sudden sadness that was radiating off of you filled him with concern.

“Come on, babe,” he pushed just a bit, “what is it actually?”

A heavy sigh left you as you turned to fully face him. You knew there was no point in trying to lie to him. He could just go into your brain if he wanted to but you knew he wouldn’t, that he would just push lightly until it all came tumbling out of you, “I saw my own missing poster last time we went to the boardwalk,” you finally opened up. Tears had started to gather in your eyes, not yet ready to shed, “my family, they’re looking for me. After everything that happened, why? Why now? They never seemed inclined to find me. What changed?”

Paul vaguely remembers your relationship with your family. You didn’t talk much about them anymore but when you did nothing you had said made him like them. Not that you were trying to make that happen, just sometimes you needed to rant about how your life was before the boys. You had had a huge argument with them the day before you officially moved in with them. You had said they hadn’t agreed with you hanging out with them. You had come in crying, a bag flung over your shoulder and an apology on your lips.

“I’m sorry,” your voice wobbled slightly, “I had nowhere else to go.” Paul quickly wrapped you up in his arms and took you to the couch.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he tells you softly, “you’re always welcomed here.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want Paul complaining how much he missed you,” Marko grinned, moving to sit on the chair. Dwayne walked over and leaned against the back of the chair Marko was sitting in. David was already in his designated spot smoking a cigarette and watching what was going on.

“What happened?” Paul had asked, grabbing a hold of your hand as it started to shake.

“My parents kicked me out. We got into this huge argument because I spend my time with you. They called you punk and a bad influence, like they ever cared who I hung out with before,” you rambled voice hitching over some words, “it’s only because you all happen to be guys. They also have this irrational idea that I’m having sex with all of you, can you believe that?”

“Well you are with one of us,” Marko pointed out.

“That is beside the point,” Dwayne said smacking Marko on the back of the head, “she doesn’t have a place to stay right now. That is the problem we should be focusing on.”

“You can stay with us, babe,” Paul wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you to his side. You looked at everyone, eyes stopping on David a little bit longer. You agreed the moment you saw David give a little nod.

Now it had been a month since then and it appeared your family had finally gotten the memo that you weren’t coming back. Paul moved closer to you so that you were pressed side to side, “they’re not worth it,” he tells you softly, “you’ve already found yourself a new family and we love you. We’re not going anywhere.”

Your smile this time was bright, “I know, Paulie. I just never thought they would do this. I don’t know why they did this. Do they actually care or do they want to control me all over again?”

“Well that won't happen again as long as I’m around,” he swears to you. Paul wasn’t known for being serious most of the time but when the times called for it and right now it did. Because this was you, the person he cared about and he didn’t like seeing you upset.

You leaned up and placed a small kiss on his cheek, “thank you, babe,” you whispered, “I love you.” You took his hand and tangled your fingers together.

“I love you too,” he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “you will always have a place here. You will always be family.”

“I don’t know if David would agree,” you say. David’s and your relationship was still a bit rocky. He was very distant towards you, though he didn’t leave the room anymore when you were in it. Your tears had dried a long time ago unshed as you took in Paul’s words.

“David likes you. He just won’t say it out loud.”

“Right.”

“Come on, I wouldn’t lie to you, babe.”

“I know.”

There was a slight lull of silence as you traced patterns on his hand before Paul spoke up again.

“I can take the poster down for you the next time we go to the boardwalk as well,” he offered.

“That actually would be nice. I don’t want to think about them anymore. Not when I have you and the boys now,” you said softly.

“You can be sure that I will never leave your side,” Paul answered, he turned his head and pulled you into a long slow kiss. He was showing you how much you meant to him in one of the only ways he knew how. A blush dusted your cheeks as you pulled back. A grin was painting Paul’s face so you hid your face in his chest. Even if your real family wouldn’t be in your life, you were sure that the boys and Paul would keep you safe and loved as long as they could. Which in hindsight could be forever.

[fgfluidity]

coda

Summary: You can’t sleep. (post-iswm)

Pairings: just engineer/captain bein buddies but you can ship it if you want idc

Warnings: mentions of death, dealing with ptsd

Length (Reading Time): 1,124 words (4m41s)

@opprose @moriimae @volbeast @statictay @momos-peaches @laur-rants @mirrorslament (if you wanna be tagged hmu)

here is my kofi

He said an eternity in Hell.

Vicious, spit flying, shaking with rage as his tears spill over down his cheeks. The warp core pristine and humming behind him. Newly built.

Over an eternity in hell.

It’s there every time you close your eyes. It’s been months.

You leave your quarters trembling, though not from cold. The planet you’ve settled on is in the midst of its summer season— though it’s a temperate part of the planet, it’s too warm to catch a chill.

And too cold for your sweaty brow.

Your eyes dart along the bioluminescent paths, bluish waves spreading across stone with each step. It’s in direct contrast to the electric lamplight hovering overhead with soft warbles.

The colony is well-lit at night, something you all agreed upon.

You campaigned for it. You never know what’s out there.

What’s out there...

You swear you hear a voice, some kind of snuffling. Branches and leaves crackling underfoot, when you aren’t talking, when your path is neatly swept of any debris.

You’re tired, you reason. When you’re tired and it’s late, your mind plays tricks.

It’s been playing tricks since forever ago.

Maybe this isn’t the right colony. You fell asleep and died somehow and warped into another alternate reality. One where your colonymates are all monsters coming for you.

Or one where they’re all too human and still coming for you, your names as a curse in their lips.

You check your palm and it’s bare. No crystals.

But Lady warped without one.

You did, too, before you even got it.

There’s more snuffling, to your right. It’s in the park, the clusters of trees and dense bushes hiding... something.

It’s closer.

Is it a person, a vicious creature, or something else? The shadow over the ground could be anything, coming right for you.

In an instant, hearing rapid footfall on the sparkling blue grass, your hand goes to your knife. You’ve only just begun to draw it when-

“Chica!”

Your hand doesn’t leave the knife, but you’re relieved to see her bright little eyes, tongue lolling as she bounds towards you. Once she’s at your feet, you tentatively reach to scratch her ears.

She gives a delighted grumble, leaning into your legs, and your hand finally leaves the knife.

“Chica! There— oh. Captain.”

You know his voice before you look up. You’ve been through far too much for it to not be familiar.

“Mark.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for her to just charge at you. She must have missed your pets,” he chuckles, but it falls a bit flat. “I, ah... what are you doing out here? It’s late.”

You eye him. Mostly relaxed, just the tiniest bit of anxiety tightening around his eyes, the edge of his smile. “I couldn’t sleep.”

He nods. “Yeah— I’m sorry. I can’t really either. The cryo did more damage than I think Celci was aware, maybe we should—“

“It’s not the cryo sleep,” you cut him off. “You know that. Don’t play this game.”

His shoulders draw up. “What game?”

Your fingers clench despite yourself, and your force your hands from Chica’s soft ruff. “You think it’s all over. It’s all solved and we don’t have to talk about it anymore. That’s not how it works.”

You expect a rebuttal, some spluttering about how you have him all wrong and you don’t know what you’re talking about. Defensive.

His arms cross, jaw tense. “Why can’t it be? You saved the universe and it’s over. We can just move on, stop dwelling on my mistakes.”

Defensive, but different.

It hits something deep within you, and you can’t keep the ice out of your voice any longer.

“Do you think I was just having fun?”

His brow furrows. “What?”

“You said you spent an eternity in hell, going through all of it, over and over. Do you think I was just having a grand time while you suffered?” Your eyes finally snap to his, rather than in his direction. “I knew you had a big head but this is a new level of uncharitable.”

“What the hell? After all I did— and I admit I fucked up big time—“

“I died, too! A million ways! And when I wasn’t actively dying, I was being hunted. By— by Lady and by monsters and— and even you tried to kill me.” You heave a great breath, but you can’t call it a laugh. “So many times, and your screaming through it all— you think that doesn’t make an impact?”

Mark takes a step towards you, slowly raising his hands. “Hey—“

“I can’t sleep because I think about it. I remember those deaths and all the blame and all the universes.” Your chest feels tight, words choked out through a painful throat. “I close my eyes and when I open them this feels like—“

“— just another universe. Another place where you fucked up, where you’re in danger,” he finishes, eyes warm but pained. “You don’t know where you stand. You don’t know if this is your last chance. You don’t know if you fixed anything at all, or just ruined it again.”

You blink, speechless, and there’s a cloth in your hand before you realize. Tan. Thick. “Mark?”

“Take it. I get it, I do.” He moves his now bare arm, gently placing one hand on your shoulder. “It’s not over. But I don’t know how else to handle it.”

“... I knew we should have had a doctor on board,” you try, and you both just manage a laugh, watery and weak, but real. “You’re gonna have snot all over your sleeve.”

Mark shrugs. “This jumpsuit has seen worse things.”

You clean yourself up as best you can and take a few breaths, Mark nodding encouragingly with each. “... so we should... I think we should talk it over. Some night.”

You can see him struggle with that, and you don’t blame him. How do you even handle something like that? “It... it might be a good idea. Just to, you know. Get it out there.”

“If you’re gonna be awake, you might as well stay up with someone,” you point out. “So... your quarters are closer.”

“You think you can just invite yourself over?”

You quirk a smile. “Captain’s privilege. I’ll make you coffee.”

To your surprise, he grimaces. “Ah— maybe I’ve had enough for a while. I still have the hot chocolate mix from the ship store. If you want.”

“Oh, thank god,” you groan. “I hated your coffee. No offense.”

Mark looks to you, supremely offended, before shaking his head. “Give me back my sleeve. I’m burning this jumpsuit.”

You think it’s for the best, but...

He makes the hot chocolate mix taste pretty good, all things considered.