#the lunch from hell

[bobbie-robron]

Well, you should find stuff that you’ve got in common, like a hobby or something. 🤦‍♀️

26-Jun-2025

[mblue-art]

"…what are you staring at?" out comes the muffled question, soft and warm, like the half-eaten sesame ball lightly squished between their fingers. golden eyes flicker down for just a second at the treat, reminding him of their cheeks earlier when they were stuffed full as they chowed down on fried rice. his smile stretches wider. it's that same, lovely grin that never fails to make their heart flutter. "you," (adorable you), "of course. what, i can't lovingly stare at and appreciate my cute, cute partner?" a wobbly smile is followed by a puff of breath and the bloom of red on their cheeks. "whatever…" his grin stays.

[mariyekos]

Crack fic idea: POV of a police officer chasing a robbery suspect who ends up running into DMC to escape/grab a hostage. When the officer opens the door, he finds the suspect standing frozen in the middle of the room, because on the opposite end by the desk, an angry Vergil's standing there stabbing a surprised Dante. This stabbing pretty obviously happened before the robber showed up. It's only through the hand, but the one guy is holding a whole giant samurai sword, the guy getting stabbed has a gun in his free hand, and there's kind of a lot of blood.

The other officer comes in after POV guy. Officer 2 looks over the scene, then starts to arrest the suspect who's still so shocked he doesn't really fight the handcuffs. Once the suspect is cuffed, Officer 2 starts to walk him through the door and tells POV Officer it's time to go. POV Officer is confused, because uh, sir, there's some pretty severe domestic violence going on and he doesn't know if that gun's registered, and even if they ignore all the normal police/violence/safety issues shouldn't they call some EMTs??? Or at least ask the guy getting stabbed if he's okay???? (To which Dante calls out "oh yeah I'm good!" confusing poor POV officer further)

Officer 2 just frowns and shakes his head. "No, they've got this. Right Dante?" To which Dante cheerfully replies with some small talk that makes it obvious he and Officer 2 are acquainted. Vergil gets tired of the small talk and rips the Yamato out of Dante's hand, walking upstairs. And when POV Officer starts to ask something else, Dante basically just waves him off with some sort of comment about how Vergil's just grumpy, honestly Dante kind of deserved that one, he'll admit he was being a bit pushy. And then waves goodbye when Officer 2 says they really need to get back go the station and book the suspect.

As they leave, POV Officer asks what's going on. Officer 2 basically just tells him not to worry, and not to write it in the report. That's just Dante. Dante tries to keep clear of the police, the police try to keep clear of Dante, and everyone's happy. He's helped out on a handful of cases when he just so happened to be in the area, he's gotten accused of some property damage a few times, it all evens out. You just don't mention Dante. City Police actually have a code for it, if they ever absolutely have to. But today they don't, so they won't. They caught the suspect. That's that. The suspect ran into one of the many abandoned buildings in the area and they caught him. Nothing else of note.

Oh, and if POV Officer is worried about the hand, he shouldn't be. The police here have known demons were real for years before Redgrave, and they're pretty sure Dante's one of the nice ones. When he says he'll be fine, hell be fine. Officer 2 has some good stories about him getting shot in the chest and getting tight bacm up, actually...

...

And so a crazy day comes to an end. The suspect's been caught, the streets are safe, and that's that. Nothing else happened. Nothing at all.

If POV Officer starts sprinting in the opposite direction when he sees a certain tall, white haired, blue eyed, blue wearing man when he's walking down the street later that week, it's for no reason at all.

[dewberrydusk]

what is your opinion on children? Do you love them do you hate them are you good with dealing with them or not/would you be willing to if asked? (Your little brother does NOT count. he scares me lowk)

uhm see this all depends on the child LMAO

like my brother? i'd be convinced we found him in a dump if i didnt witness his birth.

im better with random children tho. i dont love them dont get me wrong and i dont plan on ever having a kid myself but if i happen to come across a kid needing help i wouldnt walk away

id rather die than babysit tho i think id either kill the child or myself

[phagodyke]

7hrs into my work day lets play a fun game of how much overtime will they make me do 🥰

[smileymoth]

why does everything make me cry rn wtf . yesterday i cried over tommy fan art, almost cried bc of a hollywood undead song, right now im tearing up bc i thought abt schlatt??? am i okay ?? the answer is no but like. what. hello. hello. do i need help (yes)

[v-v-void]

Was just gonna make a post about how nice it is to have someone to distract me when hunter falls asleep at night. How sweet this little rat is, following me around making demands and giving me the best snuggles. Only for him to start humping his stuffy while sitting on my chest. I tried moving the stuffy but he starting biting my hands. Imagine my surprise when I tried correcting it and he gave me attitude then proceeded to try humping my arm. 🙃 Him and his stuffy are now at my feet on the couch. It's half in his mouth and he's passed out.😂

[seoulmatez]

WOOOO first day of the semester complete ✅

[plant-dad-sulu]

Elderly friend of my mother's, about a stranger in public: Is that person a man or a woman?

Me, quietly, not looking: I don't know

My dad, admonishingly: hey, remember where you are, suck it up

Me, thoroughly traumatized by having my gender publicly speculated on throughout my formative years and desperate not to do the same to other people:

[milo-is-rambling]

Also I fucked up my foot somehow like agitated it where was like broken fractured or whatever before and also there’s a bruise on the top of my foot and I work five days in a row this week so like . Yippee. Hooray. Slay. But also. The agony. Not really it’s not that bad I don’t really notice it when I’m busy but then when I’m not busy I’m always just like moving my fucking feet fidgeting and now it bothers me when I stretch and move that foot again so it’s annnoyyinggggg. Let me happy stim while reading curse you universe !!! Just kidding universe you have been very kind to me recently !

[aster-may]

Hear me out,,,

[CLOSE UPS + YAPPING UNDER THE CUT]

--

No seriously, hear me out CJFJFJ -

So in this 'Semi-Human' AU, Vincent works as an art professor in Middlington, more specifically at the town's local high school. And though he doesn't think of himself as the 'teaching' type, he's well loved by both staff and students alike due to his easygoing and supportive nature, as well as his encouragement whenever he notices his students showing even a fraction of improvement.

--

[shatterthefragments]

Am I just stressed (mostly bc of 爸爸), getting sick, or getting sick bc I’m stressed?

Completely related I want to lay down and sleep for a week. (I cannot. I have class and homework and meetings and work).

[cheriecoke]

why is no one here today

[crabussy]

everyone in my school loves to scream as louyd as they can on purpose to hurt me just because they can

[dick-helmet-magneto]

well i cried the whole way home from work so that's something

[blastthechaos]

The Society Of Light arc is so funny to me because normally the "friend gets brainwashed and turned evil" thing gets treated so serious and the brainwashed characters tend to go along the villain and not being around the heroes, there's a lot of angst involved, they stop being themselves...

And then comes the Society Of Light comes, the characters brainwashed but they're still there, still relatively themselves and just hang around in the new dorm, still go to classes, everyone knows they're brainwashed but they took it somewhat seriously and they just become the villain of the week.

It's so funny how everyone is like "Hello my brainwashed friend, how do you in this fine day? And they answer "Fuck you, the light is supreme! Now hurry up we're late for class"