#the man from uncle headcanons

[persephones-scribbles]

Info

This will be a predominantly smut blog

All depravity is welcome without judgement (as long as it is in line with my rules ☺️)

Dead Dove Do Not Eat welcome 😈

This is NOT a RP blog.

I only write for Henry Cavill's characters. Not the actor himself.

I prefer only writing for FemReader. It's just easier 🤷🏼‍♀️

I love writing about the Omegaverse (and honestly any other Alternative Universe 😏)

Characters I Write For:

Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman (DCEU)

Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher TV Series)

Napoleon Solo (The Man from Uncle 2015)

Sherlock Holmes (Enola Holmes Series)

August Walker (Mission Impossible: Fallout)

Walter Marshall (Night Hunter/Nomis)

Masterlist

I Will NOT Write

Self harm/Su!c!dal thoughts

Mommy/Daddy Kink

Dom!reader

Anal

Male!Reader (as stated above I ONLY write for Female reader)

Pegging

(Dividers by @strangergraphics-archive )

[eddiemunson-reader-shame]

Good Morning Hawkins I Have Some Thoughts™️

You cannot show me this southern ass man with his Garfield mugs and expect me to believe that he wouldn’t have Dolly Parton cassettes in that goddamn trailer.

Nor can you expect me to believe that you and Eddie aren’t waking up at 7am on a Sunday hearing “Jolene” blasting from the living room.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

It just bugs me when the fandom treats Tails as a baby who has sonic as his daddy. Tails may be younger than sonic, but that doesn't make him a helpless diaper baby that needs sonic to wipe his ass. Tails was living on his own even before he met sonic..he has multiple workshops and creates glorious inventions and kicks badniks ass.

So sick of the infantilization of Tails.

I don't have much to say other than

100%

I'm not really broken up about people making fanon aus or whatever. But the amount of times there's like a new Tailstube or whatever and someone goes "OMG see! This is the proof that Tails is a 5 year old baby boy that Sonic is actively teaching to read and is practically parenting! All sega needs to do now is make him stay home and go to school and act more like Sonic's kid brother!!🥰" while Sonic and Tails are chilling in one of Tails multiple homes that Tails owns and allows Sonic to crash at

Or the amount of animations/comics that give him Cream's speech patterns, make him naive af and oblivious to "adult" things like *checks notes*...kissing(?), a gremlin baby child who can't stand losing games to Sonic, actively say "it's basically canon that Sonic actually owns Tails' shit", claim (incorrectly) that classic Tails was an infant child that Sonic picked up and started raising, etc, meanwhile everyone glazes up op talking about how so super canon that is and how that stuff basically canonically happened...

It's just kind of staggering. To me it could not be more clear of a case of people needing their fanon to be "basically canon" so they can feel like they're justified for liking it and so they can justify alienating people who don't share the same headcanons as their illusionary majority

[cha-melodius]

Just watched TMFU. And here's what i think, if Illya dies, Solo would still be able to live, maybe it took him long to regain everything but he will try to live again (for Illya), but if Solo dies, Illya would absolutely lose it, he wouldn't even be able to cope 🥲

Omg I love having random headcanons dropped in my inbox!!

First off, I agree with you. I think Napoleon spirals out for a long time and does really self-destructive shit, but not in the active want-to-die way, more like he's punishing himself. Also I think he's more likely to try to insist he's ok (especially if it's before they really work their shit out), even when he's slowly falling apart.

Illya... ok, WELL as it turns out I wrote a whole fic about Illya thinking Napoleon is dead. And it goes pretty much how you'd expect lol. Which is to say, he absolutely does not cope with it.

I would be remiss to end this post without linking fics by the queen of napollya (and ot3) main character death fics. (@heytheredeann you should know this made me do something for the first time EVER, which is click "Major Character Death" as a filter option in the INCLUDE area on AO3.) 😂 Anyway, all of Ely's MCD fics can be found here, but the main one I'd like to rec is Forever is the sweetest con, which is Illya MCD, nonlinear narrative, and absolutely destroyed me.

Also I know she has one where Napoleon fakes his own death and we see the fallout but I can't find it ELY HELP. Also is there an Immortal Napoleon one where Illya thinks he's dead (and doesn't know he's immortal)? Come rec your traumatizing fics lmao.

[heytheredeann]

Headcanon that Illya is a light sleeper, a fly landing on the window can and will wake him up under the assumption that they are going to die, while Gaby (when she manages to fall asleep to begin with, hello insomnia) is an extremely heavy sleeper, nothing will wake her up. One time Napoleon literally started banging pots and pans because it was noon and he figured she should get out of bed but nope, she was none the wiser.

And then there's Napoleon, who is normally as light a sleeper as Illya, but has now discovered the wonders of Sleeping Around His Tall And Deadly Partner. When he sleeps with Illya or in his near vicinity, he is as heavy a sleeper as Gaby.

This is all fine except Illya has NO IDEA that Napoleon is normally so easy to wake up, which leads to a very awkward conversation with a couple of CIA agents who were paired up with Napoleon at one point for some mission and who, trying to make small talk with Illya, bring up how annoying it was to not be able to so much as grab a bottle of water without finding Napoleon staring.

Meanwhile Illya is there like "...what are you talking about. If he's asleep there could be plane crash right out his window and he would not notice."

Illya is confused. Napoleon is just about to start digging a tunnel bare-handed to get out of this conversation.

CANNOT LET ILLYA KNOW THAT HE LIKES HIM ABORT ABORT ABORT—

[confused-disaster32]

Hi! So you can call this a rant or a vent or whatever I don't rlly care - I just wanted to put some of my opinions out there bc it is eating me inside out to keep my opinions on Alastor's sexuality and all of the discourse about him being shipped to myself.

Also i'd like to state that I'm writing this as someone who is aroace but has no actual wish to be in a romantic relationship and actually struggles to so much as picture what that's be like for myself. I would also like to state how I'm not speaking for the whole community and others will have different opinions to myself.

Firstly - aroace is a spectrum (as someone who is on the aroace spectrum btw) and I completely agree with ppl who say that it is a spectrum and shipping has always existed and you can't rlly stop an entire fandom. My only problem is when ppl completely ignore that he is aroace while doing this, bc to me it seems like there's so much potential to having him have to go through those types of emotions and to write him off as if he's completely allo not only can make some people feel unseen but also just isn't as fun.

Also I kind of believe that he'd possibly date someone for the entertainment - like even if he didn't exactly feel romantic attraction maybe he'd be willing to be around someone closely bc he might like the reactions he'd be getting. (example: he might've stayed in a relationship with Vox maybe not out of pure attraction but if he found out that affection could make the TV short-circuit? He'd be interested)

Adding to that, I personally do not actually ship him with anyone romantically due to his character + the fact that I am projecting my own distaste for romance on him but you do you ig.

Also, on the note of nsfw around him - sometimes you cannot stop a fandom, rule 34 exists and some people who are asexual sometimes may want to have sex and all of that stuff. Personally I think he'd probably be sex-repulsed due to the fact that he canonically has issues with being touched.

ALSO, i personally think that way too many people are brushing over the idea of putting Alastor in a QPR - like that would literally be so awesome.

Alastor x Rosie? Cute af (to me Rosie gives of aro vibes too, but more romance - favourable) like they're already besties and honestly I think that Rosie would defo help him figure out about his identity considering that he's quite obviously not all that sure about slang and stuff.

Vox x Alastor - It has the potential to be SO FUCKING FUN like, you get to experiment with how they feel for each other, maybe what Alastor's got going on bc he died before being aroace was rlly a thing and he'd be confused about how he felt about Vox for sure.

Lucifer x Alastor - I quite like it, ik that Lucifer is supposed to be with Lillith but she did take an extremely long hiatus on her family up in heaven so i think it's okay. Plus the idea of them bonding and becoming close due to Charlie is wonderful.

Even angel and Alastor - maybe after Val Angel doesn't want a super sexual relationship - maybe he's not all that interested in something purely romantic either and though I love huskerdust this would still be pretty cool.

Really all I'm saying is; be considerate. Incorporate the fact that Alastor is Aroace, even if you do ship him - in or out of QPRs - and ofc sometimes writing someone who is part of a group ur not in is difficult (coming from someone who often struggles in writing especially when it comes to romance) but taking a crack at it might actually turn out to be rlly cool.

But please don't ignore his aroace-ness, there's not a huge amount of aroace characters out there and acting like someone isn't can be annoying for ppl who want to find rep around their identity, esp if they haven't seen much before (I can relate and he was one of the first aroace characters I was introduced to after I found out what it meant).

So yeah, that's my piece.

[bruisedconscience-reblogs]

canon: illya hates sugar. at an ice cream parlor, he orders a black coffee.

me: ok… but he fucks w twizzlers right

[maevesdarling]

Btw, I made some more Napoleon icons, in case someone would like one for pride month (or just for regular use) they’re free to use so just grab them and have fun. I have some Illya ones too don’t worry 😉

[justabigoldnerd]

I LOVE the seemingly fandom-wide headcanon that Illya has a sweet tooth, it makes me SO HAPPY

[caitlinsnicket]

caitlin snicket's 🌸⋅ forever masterlist ⤜⤜⤜

“my words are unerring tools of destruction, and I’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them”

i found that the old way i did my masterlist (making a post and putting links on it) was unpractical and complicated in the long run (there's a limit of links you can put in one post), so i found it easier to put everything in a google doc.

my previously written fanfiction is under the fandom name, and then under the character/characters. beside of the name of the fic is a tag saying what it is (headcanon, one-shot or series) and how it is (sfw, nsfw, kinda nsfw). on the very top of the doc is the date of the last time i've updated it, for better navigation.

click here to have access to the masterlist!

do not repost, copy or translate any of my works!

[persephones-scribbles]

Masterlist

Clark Kent

Napoleon Solo

Sherlock Holmes

Geralt of Rivia

August Walker

Walter Marshall

[millipedish]

I don't hate OG Gobo Fraggle because he's a jerk, per se, I hate that 90% of the time it slips by without notice and the person who he's being a jerk to and painted as being in the wrong. He's not a jerk for laughing at Red's umbrella idea to bring back the water; Red's a jerk for being a woman speaking out of turn. He's not a jerk for kicking Wembley out of his home for not being able to find a job; Wembley's a jerk for not having a job in the first place. That icks me so much. If his toxic traits are interrogated and explored as wrong, I would be so much more invested in this character. Season 1 bttr Gobo was a little too squeaky clean, and I'm really into seeing Gobo with some grime on him (and treated as such)

[rose-of-pollux]

I was suddenly reminded of the Tom & Jerry MFU parody from 1967--

And now I can't get the idea out of my head that Jerry lives in the wall of U.N.C.L.E. HQ--perhaps in Napoleon and Illya's office--a la Basil of Baker Street living in Sherlock Holmes's wall.

(Yeah, I know Napoleon and Illya have an office cat mentioned in "The Bow Wow Affair"--let's just say she's wise enough to leave Jerry alone, or is grateful to him for keeping Tom's unwanted flirtations away from her, etc)

[pinacoladamatata]

something something down by the river

yeah i could draw something other than two characters gazing at each other with utter heartsick longing but I know what i'm about son

[cha-melodius]

Not a wacky au (I dont think that I could live up to that level of batshit crazy) but an au request never the less.

Paramedic Illya who responds to a multi car pile up. Solo is trapped in his car, it’s a difficult extraction that takes hours, all the while Solo’s condition is deteriorating. But the time they get him out he’s in criticle condition and it’s touch and go. Maybe Gaby was in the car but it was easy to get her out.

For the following days/weeks Illya can’t seem to let solo go - he’s never has this issue letting go off a patient after the hand over - so he goes to visit Solo after he gets moved out of the ICU

Oooh this one is ripe for lots of drama! Honestly perfect for whumptober. I love the idea that Illya has seen this kind of thing time and time again, but there's something about Napoleon that sticks with him. I can see a situation where Napoleon is conscious at first and Illya has to try to keep him talking and awake while they work to get him out. Maybe Illya is not usually the "talking" one, because he's not a very chatty person, but for some reason he's the one who has to this time. He discovers Napoleon is surprisingly easy to talk to, but also he starts feeling more and more distressed as Napoleon starts fading. Imagine if Illya can see at least part of him—enough to see those piercing blue eyes that linger on in his head for ages afterward.

Maybe in the aftermath he doesn't even know Napoleon's full name, and he tries to track it down through the hospital but is rebuffed because of HIPAA. He should give up, but he just needs to know if Napoleon is ok. That's all (that's not all). One day after dropping off a call he runs into Gaby, who's there to visit Napoleon, and he's all awkward about trying to find out about Napoleon without trying to seem weird. She takes him to visit, which surprises Napoleon. They talk a bit and that SHOULD be the end of it, but it's not. Illya keeps coming back, bringing Napoleon better food than the hospital meals and getting shoo'd out by the nurses because he's there too long.

Obviously they fall in love, and what starts harrowing and whumpy ends impossibly soft (guess I'm in a fluffy mood, lol).

Thanks for sending this in anon! It's not a setup I've seen before, actually!

[talentforlying]

So gemma using magic in general is one thing, how would john feel about gemma getting deeper into magic? Like, going from occasionally casting Basic Shield Spell but otherwise living a normal life, to being some sort of wizard full time

ARE YOU THE SAME ANON FROM THE LAST GEMMA QUESTION!! regardless i love you for this.

ultimately, i think he'd see gemma getting full-blown into magic as a failure on his part, and as a betrayal of his sister's wishes for her. (a betrayal by him, not by gemma.) and john reacts to his own failures by trying to correct them at any cost, regardless of who else's decisions were involved. so he'd be upset, definitely guilty, definitely exasperated and shit-scared for her, maybe a little angry. he's never going to want her to see all the awful, awful shit that he's had to, that he knows she will see if she continues, and he might even sabotage her at points to try and drive her out of the life; just social, high-school-clique stuff, getting important connections like clarice to refuse dealings with her, scaring off artifact brokers, things like that.

but i do think eventually john would come to realize that if gemma's determined to be an occultist, and a serious one at that — which, even john doesn't think of his magic as a full-time gig — then it'd be better for her to want to come to him for advice or assistance, knowing he'd always be willing to help, than for her to want to keep him in the dark as much as possible, knowing there's a non-zero chance of him being a pain in the ass to her about her future plans. he knows that gemma's smart, and savvy, and as well aware as he is by now that people will lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get what they want in this world; despite his inclination towards overprotectiveness, i think he'd come to trust that she can keep herself alive. bottom line, he'd end up working to establish himself in her orbit as a conflicted but stalwart source of backup, information, and offered comfort, so that she never has to go it alone the way he often has.

(i also think he might be secretly relieved that there's another constantine on the scene to take on the hard jobs, the endless violence, the ceaseless horrors. he'd be guilty as hell about feeling that way, because that's his niece and he doesn't want her seeing any of it, but it'd mean he could maybe retire from the constant vigil knowing there's someone he trusts handling things. and maybe become gemma's link back to normalcy in the same way cheryl was for him, if the retirement lasts.)

and, again, he'd come to be so proud of her. sometimes you just can't walk away from knowing something bad is happening, he knows that better than anyone, and to see that quality in gemma would lighten his heart tremendously.

(assuming that's why she continues in magic, of course; if she's just seeking fame and power, he'd do everything he could to shut her out of that world in a heartbeat, and take her hatred for it all the way to the grave.)