#the person who i dont talk to anymore. they were the one that stopped talking to me one day

[wormchaser]

you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.

i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.

[drchucktingle]

BEING AN ASSHOLE AS A BRAND

lots of authors have been posting great pieces of advice for up and coming buckaroos and i agree with so much of it. GREAT RESOURCES right now so i thought i would add my own. usually i use words like scoundrel but for meanings sake i will just be direct: dont make being an asshole your brand

let me preface this by saying it should be taken with HUGE grain of salt, you can do whatever you want buckaroo its YOUR art and your personal expression. to be honest i often refrain from ‘advice’ because id rather simply tell what works for me, but i feel like this one is pretty universal.

i am in incredibly rare position to have come up in TWO MAJOR CREATIVE INDUSTRIES and reached ‘traditionally published’ or ‘major film studio contract’ level completely separate from each other, without connections between, and this is ABSOLUTELY a massive factor in the buckaroos who trot long term

there is always a sort of incoming class of buds who rise up, and inevitably a few of them will seem to WANT to make enemies with everyone around them the second they have even the smallest voice. i UNDERSTAND in the sense that we have these legendary jerk artists in our culture. HOWEVER

1 those artists generally let their asshole flag fly AFTER they reached the top and 2 if not, it was a different time, there is simply not enough money in the creative fields for major creative entities to tolerate talented up and coming assholes. it is FINANCIALLY a different timeline now

EVEN SO you can point to a few old big timers who are notorious assholes but i would say its important to consider JUST HOW BIG WOULD THEY BE IF THEY WERE ALSO KIND. what if they were that talented AND watched out for their buds? heres what happened to the 'jerk brands' i trotted up with personally

every single one of them got intoxicated by the identity of being mean or ‘just tellin it like it is’ and then fell directly onto their face. the only ones who escaped were those who started that way on the trot up and IMMEDIATELY pulled it together and stopped and changed course

i know it might seem obvious to many reading this but you would be SHOCKED how many buds thinks it is a COOL IDENTITY to cultivate. some will probably subtweet this haha but listen bud, the directors you trash SEE IT. publishers DONT NEED TO TOLERATE TALENTED ASSHOLES ANYMORE THERES NOT ENOUGH MONEY

important reminder that i am talkin on artists who are PUBLICLY assholes, who trash talk their classmates or their fans. the ones who EMBRACE THIS IDENTITY as a sort of flag to wave because it gets them attention. theres plenty of SECRET assholes who find success, unfortunately. that is other topic

it is also important to say that FIGHTING THE POWERS THAT BE or protesting the scoundrels of the world is not being an asshole. KINDNESS CAN BE STRONG AND DIRECT AND POWERFUL. we need kind, strong buckaroos these days. it is not a weakness to love, and you should speak up for those who need it

so what can be done? what happens if you are reading this post and thinking ‘oh heck i can feel myself falling into asshole trap?’ well as a first reminder you can do anything you want bud, HAVE AT IT because i am not telling you this for MY sake, but if you want some actual advice id say this:

just being kind is MUCH easier than it seems, it only takes a little effort to reach out to your buds, to help, to encourage, to assistant, to talk about how much you liked someones film or song or book. jealousy or frustration are NATURAL feelings, but you dont have to let them run the show.

you MAY have to mourn the times an author couldve reached out for a book event that never happened because you turned them into an enemy. or a record executive read the stuff you said in some interview and pulled the soundtrack slot that was waiting for you on their desk. but IT IS NEVER TOO LATE

YOU can turn those feelings into fuel instead of venom, and GUESS WHAT it will genuinely be great for your art. LOVE is such an incredible driver, even when its manifested from anger or darkness. it takes some work, but i believe its worth it for your heart AND your prospects as an artist. LETS TROT

[comikbook]

so you talk about your religious trauma and it’s a major theme in your art, and i was wondering what your current relationship with religion is? is in, do you practice any religion or consider yourself religious? if it isn’t too personal :)

im willing to answer !! i dont talk about it on most of my socials outright because people tend to misinterpret things intensely when it comes to this kind of topic, but ill give it a shot trying to write it out. In fact, I will give the whole story of my experience with religion. So its gonna be long.

there will be talk of psychosis, eating disorders, delusions, and self harm in this post. However I will not be graphic in my descriptions.

To start out I suppose for context, my parents are not catholic. my mom doesn’t talk about religion, and my dad doesnt follow anything in the real sense, but practices a lot of principals of buddhism. My nana was catholic, and my extended family vary in their religious beliefs.

That being said, (i think to my nana’s influence) when i started school i attended a small private catholic school which has since been shut down. fun fact ! if you’ve ever watched the Netflix doc “The Keepers” my school was only about 3 miles from where one of the nun’s bodies were found. The priest who was suspected to be the one to blame previously taught at the school i went to before moving to the one he is known for teaching at. Not really relevant, but i did always feel a bit uneasy there as a child so it was a weird thing to find out later.

Anyways, I attended this catholic school for 3 years. pre-k, kindergarden, and first grade. I would often ask to use the restroom and just wander around the halls or hide in the bathroom. I would get scolded for asking questions that were “inappropriate”. The one i remember most vividly was “If God created all of us, who created God ?” to one of the nuns, who became upset with me. We weren’t taught whar we should have been, and when I did move to public school i was far behind my peers in specifically science, math, and history, but I digress. This is my one class photo from our yearbook !

It is important to note that my first remembered instance of psychosis started when i attended this private school. My mom was picking me up one day, there was heavy traffic. She was trying to get over and was complaining no one would let her. I caught myself staring at my reflection in the front mirror of the car, and the clicking of the blinker kind of overwhelmed me. In the constant clicking I “decoded” a message that involved me being told to do something particularly violent. In my small brain in addition to my outside influences, I thought the person that sent this message to me was God. I was confused as to why, but I felt i did something wrong to deserve it. i quietly prayed in the back seat internally for forgiveness.

So I started to receive more messages from “God” commanding me to do something or another, typically vile in some way. i would hear this voice in my head frequently, until eventually it faded out and stopped. I dont remember when it stopped, i just remember i had this experience as a child and then when i was a little older i just didnt think about it anymore.

I do have gaps in my memory of my childhood, pretty big ones, for reasons im still struggling to understand to this day. So that makes things fuzzy. I do remember falling back into religion briefly in middle school, but eventually fell out of it again.

As i approached the end of highschool my mental health was tanking. Mostly with depression and anxiety, however this wouldnt be the worst it would get. In 2019 I was in college and things were getting increasingly worse. I was one of the few people that loved the isolation of the quarantine actually, i fear if not for that what was to come would have been way worse.

My symptoms of psychosis started to creep back into my life. I was already isolating before the quarantine, but got worse after it had started. I know i said i enjoyed it, and i did, but it also fed into some bad habits. Anyways I was becoming increasingly scared and paranoid, I was actively self harming, I was extremely depressed. I had plans to take my own life, a few of them actually. I started eating less. I didnt think much of it, I was just depressed, i have been depressed most of my life so this was just a particularly bad bout for me is what i thought.

That is, until one night where I had my first psychotic episode. It remains to be the worst and only very big episode i have had. I dealt with it mostly alone, never alerting my family of it. I was on the phone with one friend i had at the time, although they were not the kindest to me overall. Despite that they sat with me. This episode led to me standing in one place for over 2 hours too scared to move. When I finally did, it seemed to trigger a more violent outburst.

I wont go into too much detail but i left the experience cried out, bloodied, and heavily bruised. My legs were entirely black and blue for over a month following. After this episode I finally decided to try to get help, and I met with my psychiatrist for the first time. I was immediately put on several antidepressants which ended up being beneficial but in the beginning caused me to lose my appetite entirely. This is when i fell more and more into my eating disorder. With this though, I was still experiencing delusions and hallucinations and got put on my first antipsychotic.

It helped with my symptoms, and it helped me get back to a normal weight. Even tho at the time I was abusing my adderall I was still able to get my body (mostly) back to normal, at least physically. That being said, while my symptoms were lessened they were not gone, it just became less scary to me. Maybe it was because I was being desensitized, but thats something to ponder another time.

I started to become more and more infatuated with catholicism again from that original episode forward. I was obsessed and that voice of god returned to me. I started hearing clicking and chirping coming from the back of my right ear, which ive dubbed as a “chip” in my brain placed by god for me to receive his messages. I thought there was an evil inside of me that needed to be let out, which i did by participating in frequent bloodletting to force out the bad, and make my body create newer, cleaner, and holier blood. This was something i felt I had to keep up often so that this evil force wouldnt take over. I was eventually able to stop self harming, and have been clean for over 2 years now. It is hard and i still feel the need to “cleanse” myself, but i try my best to push it down.

Fast foreward to 2022 and I would start the first piece in my painting series. I still experienced symptoms but much less frequently ! I started to detail my experience thru art. I would finish the first piece in my series titled “Forgive Me Father” in 2023. Since then I have made many more.

So we finally get to today. I have waited to talk about my current relationship with religion until the end as I felt the context was necessary, and to be honest it is complicated. As you can tell, It has effected me greatly and has come and gone in my life.

I would say from where I am now, I am not religious. A better way to put it i suppose is i consciously make the choice to not be. Like I said its complicated.

I like to think of it as there is two of me in my body. One is paranoid, scared, and extremely delusional. This is the part that still believes god is communicating with them. This is the person that still prays for forgiveness and cries over the fear of being sent to hell for their sins, all approved and constructed by god himself. and then theres my rational side, which exists im sure solely because of my medication. This part is extremely self aware, can tell when i am being delusional or irrational, who knows this is something caused by my illness. They exist side by side, at the same time, always. They fight in my head for control but always exist simultaniously, think of it like a pie chart. one may be more prevelant but the other is still always there.

So in a way, there is a lot I do personally believe. That being said the reason I do believe is because of my schizophrenia. So I choose to navigate my life as someone who actively does not believe as an attempt to not let the delusion control me. do i think people who are religious are delusional ? I do not, but I know in my personal case what leads me to believe these things is an unwell mind.

I still have an intense fascination with catholicism and religion in general. I think its a beautiful thing, it moves me, but i must keep it at a distance to avoid hurting me. It is not something I can actively engage in outside of general interest because it would kill me, and despite my previous statements i would like to live at least a little longer haha.

With all that said, and I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, its been a rollercoaster of a ride. If anyone has questions about it, feel free to ask. Im an open book about this stuff online most days, and Im willing to offer any information about it.

[lilpaigeywbb]

⟡꒰ addicted to you ꒱⟡

➜ summary: paige is your drug dealer but it turns into more

➜ warnings: drugs, addiction, mentions of od, smut (r receiving), first person (ew), takes place during college but p isn’t on the basketball team bc that’s unrealistic that she’d be dealing while being a pro athlete yk

➜ pairing: drug dealer!paige/uconn x reader

➜ authors note: idfk why i added angst it was unnecessary

-part two

it started with a text. 

my original dealer had moved out of the state, so i needed to find a new one. luckily, one of my friends knew someone at uconn who was a dealer. her name was paige and she only dealt to her friends and people she knew, including my friend. i got a text from paige a few hours after my friend told me about her.

paige: yo heard u lookin for sum me: yeah, what do u have? paige: what DONT i have

that was the start. 

it began with her giving me weed. whether it was carts or blunts, she always had something for me. she started referring to my pen as ‘the penguin’ whenever i was sad. she’d be like, “aye, at least you got your penguin, huh?” or “that penguin gon’ make you feel better, though.” i made it her contact name.

then it became edibles. first the 10 mg wylds. the sour cherry one was good but it wasn’t strong enough so she recommended the brand devour. they were sour gummy strips and were 300 mg which she said was a lot. “don’t take too much. maybe a quarter at a time because that shit is strong.”

maybe i should’ve listened because the night when i took two whole strips, i ended up in the hospital.

i called 9/11 myself because i thought i was dying. after that, i didn’t talk to paige for weeks. i knew it wasn’t her fault because she told me not to take too much. she warned me and it was my fault for not listening. she stopped by my dorm though. she apologized, she cried, i cried, and then we fell asleep on my couch.

a few months later, i started buying from her again. it was the wylds again - i was too scared to take the other ones but it wasn’t about the drugs anymore. i would text her, asking about edibles, even though i still had so many left. i just needed an excuse to see her. 

it went from asking to drugs when i didn’t need or want any to just asking her if she was around and wanted to come over. she always came, a smirk on her face like she knew i didn’t actually want drugs. she never commented on it, though. she just sat in silence with me or talked about anything and everything. it was a sort of peace that i don’t think either of us had in our everyday lives. 

i started to notice the little things about paige. the freckles on her nose and the way she always smelled like expensive cologne, how she never sat on the far end of the couch - always close. i noticed how her fingers felt when they brushed against mine while passing a dome, how her voice always softened when i was having a bad day, how she strived to make me smile.

we were more than just a plug and her usual customer, we were friends. maybe we were even more than that. i didn’t want the drugs anymore, i wanted paige. i wanted to hear her laugh, see her smile, wear her hoodies. everything i felt about her was more and it terrified me. there was a night when i fell asleep while she was over and i woke up to her on the bed next to me. her hoodie covered her face but her hand was gripping mine.

after that, i did more to make my feelings clear. i’d hug her longer, hold her hand, and ask her to go out to movies or grocery shopping with me. never once did she say no. eventually, i had a pile of her hoodies in my room and she kept a toothbrush in my bathroom. i didn’t ask what we were - i was scared of her answer. but then, last friday, we kissed. a real, disney movie kiss. we were laying in my bed high, talking about our childhoods when she told me she was gay. i told her i was too and then she kissed me. it was euphoric and that was when i knew i was in love with her. 

fast forward to today. paige was in my bed like usual, listening to her playlist on my speaker while hitting her peach ice dome. her head was on my shoulder, legs tangled with mine. the song apocolypse by c.a.s started playing and she whispered, “i want to feel this kind of love,” i smiled and nodded, my voice soft, “me too.”

this time, i kissed her, our lips colliding in a way that was slow and passionate. her vape fell from her hand, rolling onto the floor, her fingers clutching my her hoodie like if she let go, i’d disappear. she deepend the kiss with a soft sigh so i took the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. she tasted like her dome and something almost cinnamony. i wrapped my arms around her neck and pressed against her as she fought me for dominance, almost as if she’d been waiting for this ever since we first met. maybe she had been.

she pulled back, just slightly, forehead leaning against mine. her voice was barely audible, but i felt it more than i heard it: “do you want me?” it was more vulnerable and soft than it was teasing. i felt the weight of her emotions through her words and knew she felt how i did. i nodded and whispered, “yeah,” right as sweater weather by the neighborhood started playing. she leaned in again, moving on top of me, and this time there was no rush. her nails scraped the sides of my neck as she kissed me, her tongue sliding against mine in a wet, passionate mess.

paige took her time undressing me. first my shirt, then my bra so she could kiss my breasts. she didn’t bite or leave marks, she just left soft kisses and licks. she kissed her way down my body, making sure that not one inch of skin went unworshipped. she slowly pulled her shirt off, revealing her black nike sports bra and broad shoulders. i knew she liked to work out but damn. she settled between my legs and pulled down my pajama pants, kissing the edge of my underwear and working her way down my thighs. i didn’t beg, i didn’t rush her. i let her take her time with me. every touch was electrifying. 

she pressed a soft kiss to my clothed pussy, looking up at me with her gorgeous blue eyes. “can i?” she asked, her voice soft and caring. i nodded breathlessly, a mix of love and lust in my eyes, “yeah… please.” she nodded, wasting no time to tug down my panties and toss them to the ground. she kissed my inner thighs and then pressed her lips ever-so-gently to my clit, earning a soft whimper from me.

“you’re so fucking beautiful…” she murmured before diving in. her tongue licked a stripe up my slit before circling my clit and sucking on it. i moaned softly, my hands falling to her head in a silent plea for her to stay there and she did. she continued to suck my clit before she ran her tongue to my entrance, getting a real and solid taste of me, moaning against my pussy, “you taste like heaven.”

my back arches off my bed, her hands on my hips to keep me in place. her mouth felt so good that i wanted to cry. nothing about this moment, right now, was anything short of passionate and loving. her mouth worshipped me, lapping up everything i had to offer. her nose flicked against my clit as she ate me out, her tongue pushing deeper and deeper into my cunt. my toes curled and i whispered, “i’m gonna cum.” she caressed my hip and murmured, “i know. cum for me, baby.”

so i did. my body rolled over the edge, cunt clenching around her tongue helplessly as i came. she fucked me through it, her tongue and lips slowing down at my pace. she kissed my clit gently a few times, making me whine from overstimulation but i didn’t push her away. i couldn’t. she looked up at me, her eyes holding a silent question and i just nodded. she kissed my thigh and moved up my body, calloused hand caressing my cheek.

“i love you,” paiged whispered. my heart raced and i felt a smile form on my lips. “i love you too.”

it started how it ended: with a text. 

penguin 🐧���: hey, can i come ovr? me: yeah

i knew. of course i knew. when paige stepped into my dorm, she didn’t sit down. she didn’t kiss me. she looked at the floor and whispered, “i think we got in too deep.” her eyes were steady but her voice wasn’t. “so you don’t love me?” my voice was broken, the tears already falling. “of course i do. i just-” she didn’t finish. she didn’t have to. we were quiet for a while before she left, the door echoing behind her.

there were nights when i cried, nights when i was angry, and nights where i went back to the drugs to try and forget her. i would lay in bed and apocalypse would play and i could swear i felt her hand in mine but when i looked, there was no one there.

i still had the stack of hoodies she gave me that i’d wear when i got high. they still smelled like her - expensive cologne and peach ice. sometimes when it got hard, i could still hear her smooth voice whispering in my ear, “that penguin gon’ make it feel better, though.”

it never did. nothing, not even drugs, could replace her.

[kissylec]

TO THE PLACES WE'VE BEEN AND THE NIGHTS WE'VE HAD.

directed by love you goodbye...

pairing rafe cameon x pogue!reader in which the bonfire always has surprises, but you never thought that one of those surprises would be ending up in tannyhill with the kook prince warning .ᐟ +18 mdni, smut, alcohol consumption, curse words, enemies to lovers, tension, dirty talk, praise kink, making out, oral (f), unprotected sex (wrap it up), p in v, first time writing smut. english is not my first language w count 1.5k kissylec says write this in 3 days and i dont really know if i like it or not. my frist time writing smut! im tweaking! thanks to @rafesheaven for the tips you gave me, i hope this is okay i love u. and thanks to @rafeysbabydoll for the idea of this first extra! i also love u. hope you guys like this 😭

masterlist .ᐟ 𝜗𝜚 navigation .ᐟ

YOU WERE DOING THIS FOR JJ, and you repeated that to yourself over and over again. The bonfire was the last thing on your mind after the day you'd had, having to put on makeup and get dressed made your head hurt and your feet felt tired just walking to the vanity. But everything went to shit in a short time, which you expected, but at least you had that slight glimmer of hope that it won't happen.

It all begun when Topper – because of course it was Topper – started bothering Sarah. Your and your friends' irritation was instantly aired, creating a tense atmosphere that was not lost on anyone. And between John B complaining, JJ wanting to fight, and Kiara trying to calm down everyone who came near, you couldn't take it anymore.

The overstimulation ate away at you to the point that you left without warning, a habit that was ingrained in you. The sound of voices grew farther away with each step you took, and the cold and salty breeze became more and more present. That's when you thought about the beach, and that maybe it would be a good idea to stop by there.

The sand on your feet felt colder than usual and the wind was a caress on your exposed skin. You took long, deep breaths, making circles in the palm of your left hand as you tried to maintain a calm that you were afraid would slip away. The sound of the sea was in the background, and a relaxation alien to you had found you. until.

You okay?

The thick, familiar voice startles you, causing you to bring a hand to your chest and open your eyes, your gaze traveling to the direction the voice came from.

Rafe Cameron.

"You scared the shit outta me," you say, your gaze traveling all over rafe's body. a bottle of alcohol in his hand, his brow furrowed. his curtain bangs were gone, replaced by a neat buzz cut, which made him look more... mature, older even.

Rafe continues to scowl, looking away from you. "Yeah well, it's creepier when a girl stands next to you and closes her eyes and all that shit you were doing just now." his lips take a sip from what appears to be a bottle of whiskey, his eyes fixed on the water.

You just rolled your eyes, mimicking his action of looking away. you never gave rafe much importance, but your annoyance for him was no small thing. He was nothing sacred among pogues, as if his name were a curse. "I may be creepy but you're sad" you started saying. "Drinking by yourself on the beach? Not really a very fun activity."

Rafe takes another long sip from the bottle, his muscles flexing as he raises his arm. “Shouldn’t you be there?” he asks, still not looking at you.

Rafe knew about you, not much, but he knew enough. He always insisted that you stood out from any friend sarah might have had, you were not overlooked, you always left a mark. You had that something that takes a person a while to figure out. You were different, and it sounds corny and repetitive, but you were, and Rafe liked that.

Fot a split second you considered telling him why you left the bonfire, but you didn't. "I got bored," you said simply, feeling rafe turn his head and his eyes burn into your cheek. "What's your excuse?"

Rafe swore his heart stopped for a second when you turned your head to make your first eye contact of the night, his lips felt dry but he didn't have the balls to lick them in front of you.

He just shrugged. "I don't want to be there" he says.

You slowly nod your head, your eyes locked on rafe's blue ones, who didn't seem to want to take his eyes off you. The sound of clothes rustling and him handing you the bottle of whiskey caught your attention, raising your eyebrows.

Parting your lips you take the bottle, the contact with rafe’s fingers leaving a rough feeling on your skin. Still looking into his eyes, you took an unexpectedly long sip, your throat burning instantly, making you grimace in disgust and drop the bottle. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“What was that?” he asks, following with his gaze as you spit the amber liquid into the sand.

“That shit is disgusting” you say, wiping your chin, which had dropped drops of the drink.

You shake your head, your eyes falling on his face. You allow yourself to analyze the small details, how his eyes close when he smiles, the occasional mark on his skin, his hand wrapped around most of the bottle as soon as you handed it back to him.

Rafe parts his lips, you could see his eyes drop to his lap, as if he was hesitant. “I have more bottles at Tannyhill, of… other things,” he says, hesitantly. "If you want."

Your eyes widened, letting out a laugh you couldn’t control. “Are you serious?” you said, your smile taken as mockery by him.

Rafe frowns, his gaze going to you, making you erase your smile. A slight tension began to aired between you two, that tension which anyone who was there could feel, that tension that makes your stomach hurt and your heart race.

"Did you really just said what you just said?" you asked, your eyebrows raising as you looked at him.

“What’s wrong with what I said?” Rafe asks, his tone of voice harsher than he intended.

You frown, careful not to fumble with your words. “No, absolutely not.”

“Why not?"

“Because it’s you,” you simply reply, looking at him. “And I would never do anything with you.”

Your words seemed to trigger something in him, who raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, as if he were studying you. You felt your pulse quicken, his jaw suddenly looked attractive, and his challenging eyes made your lower stomach feel warm.

"Never, huh?"

Those were the last words you could remember coming out of his mouth, because all you were focused right now, was on him. On his tongue expertly moving between your wet folds, on how he flicked it against your clit. His fingers gripped your thighs to keep you from moving, the pressure was so strong that you knew there would be marks, but you didn't care.

You had tears starting to form at the corners of your eyes, your o-shaped lips letting out moan after moan, babbling every now and then as you felt his tongue fucking you as if it were the only thing he was useful for.

"Prettiest cunt" he grunts against your center, placing open-mouthed kisses over your clit. "So needy."

"Fuck—Rafe" was the only thing that could come out of your mouth.

You start to rub your pussy against him when you feel close, that delicious pressure in your pelvis growing, so is the burning in your clit, your moans turning into soft cries, desperate to cum, and Rafe notices it, but that wasn't going to happen.

His mouth leaves you, automatically going to the level of your face. His lips, chin and nose glistening with your arousal, his pupils dilated with pleasure, his breathing accelerated, all so sexy that you could have cum just from that sight.

Before you could even protest he crashed your lips against his, moaning as you tasted yourself. Your tongues danced deliciously, making everything more disgusting.

"Wan' you to cum on my cock" Rafe manages to say between kisses, and you never wondered when he took off his pants and started pumping his heavy length, but he did. "You're capable of doing that? Huh?"

He guide his tip to your puffy and achy clit, teasing it, coating it with your slick. "Fuck—could you be any more fucking wet?"

The tip traveled to your center, gasping as he entered inch by inch to the brim, forcing you to take him all. Your eyes rolled back in your head, feeling his cock caress your insides. you could swear you felt him kiss your cervix.

"Oh so tight, all f'me... isn't that right?" Rafe purrs against your ear, his hips moving almost instantly after filling you.

Your brain blanked out, letting him handle you as he pleased, your legs on his shoulders as his pace quickened. “Rafe,” you stammered, your eyes squeezing shut.

"Grippin' me so tight, you gonna cum?" Rafe murmurs condescendingly. "This sweet pussy gonna cum? Huh?"

It was ridiculous, almost pathetic, but his words and the way your sweet spot was hit over and over again had you cumming on his cock, your back arching and a small cry came out of your mouth. Rafe groans, his face hiding in your neck, his cock twitching and painting your insides with his cum.

You felt kisses on your neck, the thrusts fading in rhythm, his hands caressing your sides. Your eyes slowly opened, your lips dry as the light from the nightstand made its presence felt beside you.

Then, and just then, it clicked. "We can't do this again" was the first thing that left your lips.

But Rafe had already taken you over. And there was no escape from that.

taglist . . . @lil-sparklqueen @pillowprincess4him @ihydeja @drewstarkeyslover @angelicameron @stylestarkey @frankoceanluvr11 @thepopcultureaddict @luvrclub @wtfisastiles @faephoria @maybankslover @yktayy9669 @bucksbvck @bee-43 @drewrry @harryzcherry @bsenpai @dreamybabbyy @ggyuslovie @magicalflowerstranger @wintercrows @rafeysbabydoll @starsval @maddiebaddie1 @mrsdrewstarkeyy @giouvarlakia @jjmaybankmylovee @the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not @sleepiibunniiii @lolasangelz @bananaminn @glitterandviolence13 @scream4mami @delayeddrabbles @niaunffical @ijustwanttoreadlols @ethanthequeefqueen @emmiesummers @arianagreenblattfanxx10 @vanessa-rafesgirl @kaiparkerwifes @enchante-starkey @drewsdirtyslut @hannieskzzz @dontknow3m @rafesdrew

© KISSYLEC. 2025 — please do not plagiarize, repost, translate or claim any of my work as your own.

[bugflies00]

i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy

one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!

when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.

and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".

not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.

i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.

letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.

i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).

i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah

i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really

it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.

and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that

one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:

"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"

a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->

and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.

"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->

i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.

of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword

right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something

[555rare]

Who is/are your secret admirer(s)?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

[A ROMANTIC PAC 🥂]

For my previous PACs: Their arousing thoughts about you and How do Men view you?

• Choose a pile that undoubtedly calls out to you. The pile can call out to you in many ways, be it the picture reaching out to you, the energy pulling you towards it or the number attracting your attention heavily out of them all.

Also, this is for entertainment purposes...mostly..and if a pile feels off, try choosing another pile💖👍.

Now, when I say 'Secret Admirer', I mean someone you don't think admires you or you have no idea this person admires you. You may doubt whether this person admires you and so on. This is your conformation if the first pile you choose resonates with you! Of course it's not gonna be a secret anymore after this hahaha😂💪.

Let's begin~

☘ Pile 1 ☘

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

CHANNELING SONGS:

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TIP OF THE ICEBERG: The Village, The Castle, The mountain

Messages: You have a lot of admirers ayeee, and you don't even know it! You can be a Jupiter or Mercury dominant but it does not have to be so. You all have like an entire village of admirers hahaha, it's insanee but mainly someone who is very closed off or reserved admires you like there's no one else around them.

This person is very guarded and defensive in nature, and they are not the type of person to just give in very easily, they test the waters and give subtle signs. If they get the green signal, that's when they're all in. This person is very rigid and stubborn as well. Convincing them in general is a great challenge for anyone as this person does not trust so easily.

This person is like an adventure but you have to get through their hard shell for that. I'm getting that 'Shrek' movie scene where Shrek tells Donkey that he's like an Onion, one needs to get through the several layers to see how soft he is in his core. They can be someone who feels pretty misunderstood by others. Others can think of them as cold and even drab for that matter but they are very loving and sensitive at heart.

This person finds you very eye-catching, like someone that just shifts mountains inside their shielded heart. They feel understood by you, they feel seen by you. This person can see your beauty beyond your physical traits, They see you on a deeper level and admire every bit of it. This person is also very committed to what or who they invest their time and energy in and it is impossible to change their mind, so when it comes to you, it seems like they never wanna stop admiring you, even if others try to change his/her mind.

This person has placed you on a pedastal which, boo, is insurmountable...no matter who tries to break it down. This person loves how you don't really give yourself to just anyone and you are open only those who you truly love and trust. This person admires how graceful and beautiful you are honestly, everything that you do has them thinking how are you the way you are, like they feel so caught off guard whenever you're around them.

CARDS: 8 of Swords, 5 of wands, knight of Swords, The Hanged Man, The Hermit, 9 of Pentacles

Messages: The immediate messages I got were Blindfolds, 10, older, keeps to him/herself, possessive.

Ooh babyyy, why you glowing so much? And don't even know it?! When I say you have got Admirers, trust me boo, YES, you do. You just dont see it though, you're over here comparing yourself with others who can't even match your shinee. You have got Admirers who just wanna have you and I'm not even sugarcoating at all, this is fact. There is of course on person among all the chaotic crowd of admirers who really really admires you. He/she can be an Air sign or behaves like one. This person is very hung up on you like they find your qualities so admirable and they just can't look away ooohhh.

This person ponders a lot about the way you are and it's just got them wondering how are you so beautiful and you just dont see it. They wonder what can it take to remove those blindfolds and make you see what they see. They are quite possessive of you as well and can get jealous really easily. They are quite defensive about you be it as a friend, a companion, an acquaintance, a lover. This person can keep to himself/herself a lot, like they don't just befriend everyone they meet. I heard 10 which can be the birth date of this person or a date adding up to 1. This person can think you are an all rounder or you do everything so so well and they wish they could level up to you.

Believe me when I say this person has you on their mind so so much and their admiration goes beyond superficial. They admire not just your physical traits but your behaviour and habits as well. I keep hearing ‘I wish you could see what I'm seeing right now’ and that's exactly what they feel on a really deep level. Clearly you have no idea what's going on around you like who's admiring you and so on, mainly because you are very focused on your own world. You may daydream a lot or you tend to mind your own business a lot. A lot of people in the background are tryna catch your attention or get you to catch them admiring you boo! It's like they want you to know they're interested so you make the first move cuz they are too intrigued by you to make a move.

The person who's really placing you as their ray of sunshine in this dark world is someone very chaotic in nature, like a person who doesn't really plan, they just go ahead in life and makes decisions too quickly or comes to conclusions really fast. This person can talk fast also or they walk fast as well. This person can have problems with approaching you though lol, not a shocker! They think of all they ways they can give you subtle hints that they really like you or they really admire so many things about you like slightly making fun of you or just smiling when they see you around. This person feels like they lack so much when they're around you, maybe the achievements, the talents, the beauty, the intelligence, the fashion style, etc.

They feel like they need to level up to your standards to be able to finally approach you confidently, now..this is in their head cuz they overthink A LOT! It's like they're rehearsing everything telling themselves ‘hey, uhh..I'm free this evening, would you like to go the movies with me? Pop corns on me *wink*’

and then they're like ‘ew, no...they'll run away if I do that..what is wrong with me?’ and continue on lol. They are someone who doesn't really open up about their feelings but once they do, it's all in one go, like they're yapping their entire life to you hahaaha. It's sad though because no matter how good this person is in so many ways, he/she feels like a 0 near you.

Okay..I don't know why but I'm getting this message that if you're a female reading this, then the guy who admires you a lot is very similar to this guy below. I don't know who he is but I'll check it out, just a moment. Okay, so I found out that this guy is from the movie 'Rust' so the way he is in that movie is the way the guy who admires you is once he opens up to you and begins to trust you.

I'm not even exaggerating because I keep hearing the song ‘Hello hello, let me tell you what it's like to be a 0,0. Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel. Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real. I'm looking for a way out' and this song is by Imagine Dragons

but this is exactly how this person feels around you...which is so sad. I mean this person literally has so much to offer, love, care, they are beautiful, etc and here they are doubting themselves so much. This person is afraid of being rejected by you or anyone for that matter because of their self-image.

They may have been brought up in a family where they were not really supported or motivated. Them having no one of their own motivate them, makes them doubt themselves a lot. This person really looks up to you and aspires to be like you in so many ways. They see you as their sunrise on the darkest days. I even keep hearing that Justin Bieber’s song ‘Your my sunrise on the darkest days, got me feeling some kind of way’...I forgot what it was…one moment please…oh...hell, it's despacito remix lol.

So yeah, this person wants you to know that you may feel ugly deep down or you feel like a shadow in others lives but you are the complete opposite, you are this ray of sunshine that lights up their day. I also keep hearing that lyrics ‘You can make a grown man cry, If you ever said, "Goodbye"’...I don't even know what's the name of this song so I gotta search it down.. another moment please…Okay, so I found out it's called 'Nobody's love' by Maroon 5.

So yeah, this person fears losing sight of you in their lives, it's not stalker vibes but this person really admires you. It's someone you definitely talk to. This is giving me so much ‘Crush turning to love’ vibes, so I guess it must be that phase now.

Hope you loved reading through this!🌼 If you look forward to having a personal reading on this, my services will open very soon so stay tuned sweet cherry!💝🌸

.

☘ PILE 2 ☘

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

CHANELLING SONGS:

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TIP OF THE ICEBERG: Thanatos, The one, The animal

Messages: First of all, this connection is not superficial. This person is someone you have known for a long time now or someone you've gone through a lot with. This person and you have transformed eachother a lot after meeting eachother. This is someone who impacted you a lot just as you much as you have impacted him/her.

This is someone who you've experienced painful events with or they may have hurt you in the past. This is someone from your past, if you are in separation right now and if not then it's someone you are entering a new chapter with and the old chapter between you two is ending like going to the next level or moving together in a new direction.

This person ayyeee, I have to calm my nerves lol I'm so excitedd!! this person is someone you want to spend your entire lifetime with. This person can be the One boo!!! Omg! or even someone you thought was the One if you both are in separation currently or away from eachother in some way. There is definitely a deep change that's taking place in your connection together but it's not a rosey one, it's painful and introspective. That's why I strongly feel you both are away from eachother and are slowly realising the value of eachother and how you feel without the other in your life.

This person feels like you are the One. They may have even described you as the 'The One' to their friends and family as well. Anyhooo..this person really really admires you as a whole. There is nothing this person does not admire. Sure, they have questions about a few things but that does not mean they don't like that part about you, they find you rare and extraordinary. They think a person like you is only one in this entire Universe and having come across you in their life is also a real miracle.

This person can have a lot of intrusive or uncontrollable thoughts. The way the person admires you is in no way on a surface level. They are animalistic when it comes to you, like you drive them crazy ahaaha! What did you do to this mammal!?? hahahaah I can't- This person just does not believe you exist lol. Everytime they look at you, it's like they're rubbing their eyes twice and asking his/her friend to pinch them in order to see if they are in a dream or in reality.

This person admires how loving and understanding you are, especially towards them. They feel so understood by you and it feels like a lot of people have misunderstood them or hurt them for no reason, while you never did such a thing to them. You understood them no matter how hurt you were and they love and admire that a lot about you. They see you as their 'One Love' and they feel like unlike others you aren't trying to change who them in any way and love them for who they are.

They feel like they have never met someone like you and they will never meet someone like you. This person loves the thought of you being only theirs and no one else's. This person can think so much to the point they feel like you drive them nuts, just admiring every detail of your existence in their head. Again, this person can be the one or someone you want to spend your entire lifetime with.

CARDS: 3 of Swords, Page of Wands, 6 of Cups, 7 of Wands, 9 of Swords, The Moon

Messages: Mmkkaayyy, my pile 2s...looks like you got somethin' going onn. You guys go through a lot of pain don't you? You guys hide behind a mask a lot don't you? Prancin' around and giving everyone a good show but at the end of the day you take off that mask in your room...all alone..wondering why you feel so gray..so..unfulfilled..like something is missing. Well, if that's you, it's okay my boo, cuz I'm just like you! Lol, I'm not proud of it but you're not alone bestie🫂

The immediate messages I actually heard were, an ex or someone you have had an ending with, a person from your past, a romantic suitor, a fire sign or behaves like one, fire Venus sign, a defensive person, a logical person, unable to sleep at night, thinking a lot about you. These are the first messages I heard. Someone from the past still admires you a lot boo..I mean, that's literally what came forward at the beginning as well. This person misses you if you are in separation right now, clearly they are lovesick for you.

If you know the language Tamil, the song 'Thodu Vaanam' is coming through strongly as well. Mainly one lyric where he says in Tamil 'Pain in love is more than any pain. Its poisonous than a life. On leaving you, I’m losing my soul. In the bluish sky, I'm burying myself.' and another lyric where he says 'Love is squeezing me, tears coming like anything. Thinking is a problem, forgetting is a problem, life is paining me.' which is off topic but his/her energy is coming in very strongly and I had to mention this. This is how they are feeling at present if they are away from you or you both are in separation.

If you both are not in separation, this person fears that day but anyhoooo...let's go back to the point here. This person admires your sense of humor and loves being around you because you are like an adventure to them. This person loves the way you laugh and smile as well. They can love making you laugh a lot as well. This person can have brown or dark hair and they can have a very contagious smile.

This person can have beauty spot marks on his/her face. They can have a good height and they can be good with business or convincing someone. This person is very competitive and defensive though. They love to win and they like a good competition. He/she loves how generous and supportive you are, especially with them.

They love the gifts you give them, if you have given any and they maybe even see those gifts from time to time and think about you a lot. I'm getting 'Heartbreak Anniversary' song a lot here which can be significant with the way they feel towards you at this time but again, back to the topic, this person loves how much you give them, be it love, support, laughter, pleasure, pain, etc.

This person is thinking a lot about the past and the memories you both have shared. This person admires and is grateful for all that you have done for them and they miss those days. This person admires how you can always give them a good time and make them feel loved and appreciated. They love and admire how you see the best in them no matter how worse they are.

This person and you share a very strong soul bond, meaning what you feel, he/she feels, when you are sad, they feel that from afar, even if they don't know why they feel that way but most of the time you both are thinking about eachother at the same time. You can even dream of eachother a lot. He/she thinks of you the most at night but oh my godd, lol, this person is deviating me from the topic lol, so this person really admires how much you shine. They admire how soft yet marvelous you are. They admire you like a person would admire the Moon.

This person admires how you speak and how you share your thoughts with them. They also admire how you are very protective of the ones you love and you will do anything to keep them safe, including him/her. I am also getting that saying by Bob Marley where he was asked if there was a perfect woman and he replied: "Who cares about perfection. Not even the Moon is perfect, it's full of craters. The sea is incredibly beautiful but salty and dark in the depths. The sky is always infinite, but often cloudy. Therefore, everything that is beautiful is not perfect, it is special." This is exactly how he/she sees you, someone who is imperfectly perfect. and someone special to him/her.

But out of topic...again, nowadays, they stay up at night a lot because they can't get you out of their mind. They think a lot about you, especially at night. This person is in pain and even though they may be healing, forgetting about you or trying to move on from the past has become a struggle for them. Back to topic lol, this person admires how you would go out of your way to literally help anyone dear to you. They find you very unreal, like a dream that they would wake up from at any point. I'm also getting the song 'Are you even real?' by Giveon and Teddy Swims so this is also how they feel about you.

This person sees you as someone who they can't have. Like how Gru wanted the Moon so bad in 'Despicable Me' and he put so much of effort just to get the Moon but at the end of the day he had to put it back in the sky because it did not belong to him? That is exactly how he/she feels towards you, like having you is impossible or you are unattainable. This person thinks having you is some sort of crime to others, maybe a lot of people did not want you two together or your parents intervened if you are young.

This person really wishes they could have you all to themselves but they feel like you are forbidden to have. They feel like you are too far away now to be theirs. They really admire how you have a mind of your own though and if you are spiritual, which most definitely you are, they really admire that side of you as well and think you are very blessed by the divine. This person loves and admires the way you dance too is what I'm getting, both the dance you do in bed (if you get me), that is if you both have done it and the dance you do normally.

Hope you loved reading through this!🌼 If you look forward to having a personal reading on this, my services will open very soon so stay tuned sweet cherry!💝🌸

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☘ PILE 3 ☘

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

CHANNELING SONGS:

.

TIP OF THE ICEBERG: The River, The Desert reverse, The Venom

Messages: This person who admires you is very emotionally intelligent. Their admiration never stops flowing because it runs like a river. They see you as someone dangerous but so alluring. I get the image of a Siren who attracts the prey and once they come close, they attack them, so this is how this person feels like you are deep down, not in a bad way. They like the risk of giving their all to you.

They admire how you accept them just the way they are and they love how delicate and graceful you are deep down. They love how your love can purify anyone and change anyone you meet. This person isolates themselves a lot or they feel very left out by others in their life. But you...you make them feel like they don't need anyone else. This person can be a dry texter or does not really have the skill of flirting lol.

This person feels very intoxicated by you, like the love and admiration for you has spread in their blood like venom. This person admirers how you come off as someone unapproachable and scary but in reality you are a goofball. This person finds you very very tempting because of the way you carry yourself and the way you speak especially.

This person can think you are toxic for them. I know, that's kind of hurtful but I can't just sugarcoat boo, I'm sorry but this person thinks you're not good for them or maybe their parents tell them this but this person likes how bad you are for them, this person does not like to follow orders so much lol. I'm channeling that Britney Spears song, Toxic so that's how this person feels towards you.

This person feels very watered by you like they don't feel deserted when they are with you but yet they have these thoughts that maybe you won't last with them or that just because the friendship is good does not mean the relationship will be.

This person feels like you make them feel less neglected and dry. This person loves how you have the ability to change anyone's perspective on things. This person is very devoted to you. They feel like they can go through anything for you. I'm getting that 'Grenade' song, I don't know why but this person admires you and loves you even if they are hurting.

This person feels like their love and admiration will never end even if things aren't good between you two. They feel very drawn to you, no matter what happens. They admire and love how electric you make them feel and how many butterflies you give them. This is giving off so much 8th and/or 12th house synastry overlays where this person is the house person.

CARDS: The Empress, Ace of Swords, 2 of Cups, The High Priestess, The Emperor, 2 of Pentacles

Messages: This is a friend boo. A close friend, someone who has a crush on you or a romantic suitor who really really admires you. They may not show it openly but damn do they love everything about you. The Minute I came to your pile, spirit just threw the words at my ear ‘Cherie’ like soooo may times lololol. I googled the meaning of this word and guess what bestie?! It literally means 'Darling' in French!! ayeee hahaaha. This person may think of you as their Darling awwww.

Then I heard the two songs I mentioned above and immediately understood this person is extremely infatuated by you. I'm not even speaking at the slightest. Everything about you turns them on, like they find you too attractive that even they can't fathom the fact that they are like a volcano around you, about to burst anytime lol and don't worry not like in a creepy or harmful way.

This person and you can be a soulmates or twinflames because we literally have both the Empress and the Emperor and they are the divine counterparts of eachother, meaning you both can be divine counterparts of eachother where you are the Divine Feminine and they are the Divine Masculine. Now Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine are not determined by genders, they are determined by the energies both the partners embody in a twinflame connection.

Why do I tell you that you are the Divine Feminine is because you seem like the runner and he/she seems like the chaser. This person admires and respects you very very much though. They are not so expressive or open with their feelings. This person may not even tell you how much they admire so much about you. He/she can think very highly of you and sees you as someone with both inner and outer beauty.

This person either loves a person completely or hates a person completely, there is no in between, but with you they love and admire absolutely so much about you. You can be spiritual as well and this person admires how so in touch you are with your divinity. This person can just look at you, admiring you so much from the corners when you aren't looking.

This person feels like you are their clarity in life, like I keep hearing that 'Clarity' song where she is saying 'If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?' or something like that. This person feels like you give them a lot of clarity in their life. They can even come to you for advice and wisdom. This person admirers how mysterious you are and how you don't give all information about yourself at one go.

This person loves and admires how only give little information in every interaction you have and how chill you are on the outside. They think you're like lightning in their life. Someone who came outta nowhere and shocked them to their core. It seems like they are always looking out for you and admiring you from the shadows. Not in a creepy way of course because they are more like your fan and they really respect you.

This person admirers how strong you are and how you can do literally do multiple things at one go. This person admirers how you can balance different things in your life or how you know how to handle chaos and struggles. They see you as Wonder woman/ Superman at this point lol. They feel like you can handle anything that life throws at you. They also admire your sudden mood swings lol ahhaha, whatt??

I know it's weird and odd for someone to admire how your mood suddenly changes but this person really likes the thrill of seeing how your mood suddenly shifts because they think you're cute when you're upset or they find it really adorable when you behave like a little kid whenever your mood changes. This person finds your touch with your emotions really attractive which is not very common but yes, they find you really cute for being emotional.

This person also admires how you carry yourself. They see you as someone of high value and luxury. They love how rich and classy you seem, even if you aren't. This person admires how you sit, the glances you give to them and others, the way you laugh, the way you are when moody, literally so many things about you. They admire your personality very much as they find it very rich and full of zest.

They find your personality very tasty is what I heard which is soooo unique lol, I mean how can someone find your personality tasty right? but lemme get to that boo. when I say this person finds your personality tasty, it's like spirit is comparing you to their favorite dish where they love everything about it, the flavor, the texture, the way it looks, etc. Now the same goes for you, they love spending time with you and they think you might actually be tasty in bed lol, because you are so full of fun and you are such a mood for them but apart from the bed, they find you really fun to be around and they enjoy indulging in your company.

This person can love and admire your voice very much and the way you talk. I keep hearing 'Maneater' by Nelly Furtado which can be the way this person views you, like someone who can have anyone but is also dangerous to be around ahahah. This person admires you like soooo much, they are on their knees for you. They admire how you ask exactly what you want and they love how confident you come off to others. They also admire how laid back and chill you are, especially with them. They find you very wise and interesting as a person and they admire this so so much about you.

Hope you loved reading through this!🌼 If you look forward to having a personal reading on this, my services will open very soon so stay tuned sweet cherry!💝🌸

Thankyou so much for going through this PAC reading. It means so much to me! I hope you all had fun reading this as much as I had making it! Love you so so much my sweet sweet cherries, see you in the next post!😊💝

[dee-writes-anime]

hii i just stumbled over your page and been loving dadzawa stories ☺️☺️

im wondering if it's possible for the reader to be aizawa daughter and be in class 1A, but aizawa has been slightly focusing more on the other students like training with them more often he hasn't spent much time with the reader. because of this, the reader has been distancing themselves from aizawa because they don't feel good enough.

you dont have to do this if you want!! take care ❤️❤️

Shadowboxing

FEATURING Shouta Aizawa x Reader (PLATONIC)

SUMMARY it's hard for most parents not to show favoritism toward their kids, it seems your dad doesn't have the same problem. Quite the opposite, actually.

CONTENT WARNINGS emotional neglect, insecurity, self-worth issues, parent/child tension, implied burnout

AUTHORS NOTE this request felt kinda similar to a fic I already wrote called Silent Poems so I tried my best to do a different take on it, I hope it turned out okay. 😅

You don't notice a change at first.

A missed sparring session here. A skipped review there. Aizawa circling the room during combat class and offering feedback to everyone but you.

You don’t say anything.

You don’t want to be that kid—the one who needs their dad’s attention in the middle of a hero training course. You don’t want to make it seem like favoritism. If anything, you try harder not to stand out. Blend in. Be just another face in the crowd of 1-A.

It should be fine. It should be professional. That's what he always said growing up. “When we’re at school, I’m your teacher. Not your dad.”

You understood.

But lately, it feels like he’s not either.

Midoriya gets extra time in the gym after hours. Bakugou gets pushed in private sessions to develop his close-range defense. Todoroki gets theory support from Aizawa himself.

You?

You train alone.

You stop asking questions in class. Stop raising your hand. You’re not trying to be petty—you’re just tired. It’s easier to figure things out yourself than wait for a glance that never comes.

And it’s not like anyone notices.

They assume it’s just your personality. That you’re quiet like him. Focused like him. Distant like him.

But they don’t see you leaving the dorm common room when he stops by for a quick chat with the class.

They don’t see you watching him linger over Kaminari’s form correction, or how he claps Kirishima on the back when he nails a breakthrough.

They don’t see how you shrink a little smaller every time he walks past you like you’re invisible.

“You and Eraser seem kinda… stiff lately,” Kaminari says casually one evening as you’re stretching before lights out.

You tie your sneaker tighter.

“Dunno what you mean.”

“Just feels like he’s been riding everyone else’s progress hard, but he doesn’t really talk to you much anymore. I figured he was giving you, like, space or whatever?”

“Maybe.”

You don’t tell him about how Aizawa used to quiz you on quirk theory at the breakfast table. How he used to walk you to school, not because he had to—but because he liked spending time with you. You don’t tell him about the mornings when he’d hand you a protein bar with a sleepy pat on the head and say, “Don’t let anyone push you around, kid.”

Because that version of him hasn’t looked at you like that in a long time.

You’re in the gym late when he finally decides to show up.

The lights are dimmed. Everyone’s gone. You’ve been hammering the same training combo over and over, sweat dripping into your eyes, muscles aching. You’re pushing yourself harder than you should, but it’s the only way you feel seen lately. The only way you feel anything.

You hit the mat. Again. Again. Again.

And then—his voice.

"You’ve been here for two hours."

You flinch.

He’s standing in the doorway, arms crossed, expression unreadable. The same one he wears during debriefs or staff meetings. You don’t know what you were hoping for—concern? Frustration? Something?

Instead, you turn your back and pick up your water bottle.

“I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

You exhale a quiet laugh, bitter and small.

“You’d know what that looks like?”

Silence.

Then his footsteps, slow and even, cross the mat. He stops a few feet away, still watching you.

“You’ve been distant,” he says.

You shrug. “Takes one to know one.”

A pause.

“You could’ve said something.”

You turn, jaw clenched.

“Right. Because that’s how it works? I say, ‘Hey, Dad, could you maybe look at me when you’re giving out feedback?’ and you drop everything to coach me like you do everyone else?”

His eyes flicker. You keep going.

“I see how you are with them. You challenge them. You push them. You believe in them. You give them your time. Your energy. You treat them like they’re worthy of being heroes.”

Your voice cracks there. Just slightly.

“And me?” you finish. “I’m just your kid. And I guess you already decided I’m not worth the extra effort.”

He doesn’t answer right away.

And that silence—that pause of hesitation—that hurts.

Because maybe it means you’re right.

When he does speak, his voice is lower.

“I thought giving you space was what you wanted.”

“No,” you snap. “You assumed that. You assumed I’d be fine without you. That I didn’t need you like they do. You didn’t even check.”

“I didn’t want to show favoritism.”

“Then don’t show favoritism,” you say. “Show fairness. Show me that I matter as a student. Or a daughter. Either. Both. Something.”

His jaw tightens. His eyes shift away.

“I didn’t realize I’d made you feel that way.”

You cross your arms, hugging them close to your chest.

“Well, now you do.”

Another beat of silence.

“I’m sorry.”

The words are soft. Genuine. And they don’t fix it—but they land. They settle in the bruised space between you. Honest. Late. But there.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like you weren’t good enough,” he says, stepping closer. “You’re not just my daughter. You’re a student with potential. With strength. You’re smart. Focused. Driven. You don’t act out. You don’t complain. And maybe that made me overlook you. That’s on me.”

You stare at him.

You want to be angry.

But mostly you’re just… tired.

“Do you even know what my last two combat scores were?”

A pause. His mouth opens.

Closes.

He doesn’t know.

You nod slowly. Look away.

“That’s what I thought.”

He moves to sit on the edge of the mat beside you. He doesn’t reach for you. Doesn’t push. Just sits.

And maybe that’s the best thing he’s done in a while.

“You’ve been training hard,” he says after a moment. “Too hard. I saw your form earlier. You’re compensating. Overcorrecting. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

You rest your forehead on your knees.

“I don’t want to be invisible.”

“You’re not.”

“You made me feel like I was.”

He nods. Doesn’t argue.

“Then I need to change that.”

You don’t say anything.

But when he gets up to leave, he says over his shoulder, “Combat review tomorrow. 6AM. One-on-one. Bring your gear.”

You lift your head.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“You better show up.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“You saying you don’t trust your teacher?”

You exhale a tired laugh.

“I’m saying I don’t trust my dad.”

That makes him pause. Just for a second.

Then, softer this time: “Then let’s rebuild that.”

He’s there at 5:50 the next morning.

You don’t talk much.

But he watches you closer than he has in months.

Corrects your stance. Challenges your moves. Pushes you until your muscles shake—but not until you break.

When the session ends, he claps you gently on the shoulder.

“You did good.”

And it’s not everything.

But it’s something.

And for now—that’s enough.

[mrsfudd]

Behind your back-final part

warnings: fighting, cursing

not proofread lmao

It had been 3 weeks since your big fallout with Paige and KK. Paige had been icing you out which was expected. You guys have had fights before obviously, just not to this extent. You’re still her baby sister and you’ve been hoping she can swallow her pride and forgive you. With KK though it was different. She didn’t owe you anything and you knew it was going to take something big to win her over…hopefully.

“Girl, you skipped your morning class again?” Chloe asked.

Your roommate Chloe has been helping you process the whole thing. Your friends back home could only help so much, they could barely understand the full story. For that reason Chloe has really been your backbone.

“KK has a class in the hall right next to time, the last time I saw her I wanted to die I felt so bad.” You said laying on the couch.

“Y/N, you cant hide forever. You’re too grown to be acting like this. Grow up and do the right thing.” Chloe said with a tone that only comes out ever so often.

“I don’t know chlo, I know she doesn’t wanna hear from me and Im not gonna make the situation worse” You say.

“So, talk to someone who might.” Chloe said while tossing your phone on your stomach.

You haven’t talked to Paige in a few days, when you did talk it was only about your mom or siblings. Maybe a mention of how the basketball season was going but never anything after that. She was treating you like you were kids again and you stole something out of her room. It was childish but what else could you do.

You: Paige

sissy 💕: what

You: can we talk, ik ur mad but i said i’m sorry

sissy 💕: i said its fine

You: dont be like that, js ttm p pls

sissy 💕: alr bru ill come by in a few

This is the longest Paige had been mad at you and it was really causing a rift in your relationship. You love your other siblings but you and Paige have always been close. You were happy she was coming to talk but nervous on how it was going to go.

“Y/N, open the door” Paige said monotone.

“Hey P” You said opening it and walking back to the couch.

You sat down and she just walked around and stood against the wall.

“Paige im sorry” you said with a voice crack.

“I know” Paige said while texting.

“What the fuck is your deal Paige? Im sorry I know you feel betrayed but you have to realize I was doing it for you okay? To protect your feelings so if what makes me a bad person then whatever but im not gonna sit here and let you give me these dirty ass looks like im one of your opps or something” You scream.

“Y/N, you need to stop acting like the world revolves around you. You’re so fucking spoiled I cant stand it. You’ve been treated like a princess your whole life and you expect everyone to forgive you and be at your beck and call. Grow the fuck up and own up to your shit. I don’t care about your dumbass sorry Y/N. You hurt one of my best friends so im not in the mood to listen to one of your sob stories” Paige yelled right back.

“Finally some emotion Paige! You’ve had your back turned to me for weeks. You keep saying I need to grow up and im trying. You and your fucking ego Paige I cant. Im trying to do the right thing but nothing is fucking good enough for you. The fact that you can sit here and say I’m spoiled is crazy, your fucking spoiled Paige. I know I hurt KK and im trying to make it right but I cant with you two walking around campus catching a attitude every time you see me” You yell trying to hold back tears but one falls.

“Now you’re fucking crying? This is exactly what im talking about bro. Grow up Y/N.” Paige said throwing her hands up.

“Yes! Yes I am. I have nobody Paige. I don’t have friends anymore, I don’t have KK and the one person who I expected to always be by my side hates me. I tried Paige I really did, i’ve apologized more times than I can count. I don’t know what to do Paige, im sorry.” You say full on crying now.

“Y/N hey wait” Paige said finally lowering her tone.

“Just leave Paige, I don’t care anymore” You said wiping your face.

“Y/N stop, i’m sorry” Paige said walking closer to you.

Paige finally caved. She still had a soft spot for her little sister and knew this wasn’t worth fighting about for so long.

Paige came to give you a hug and you completely broke down. Paige rubbed your back letting you vent about all you’ve been feeling and how if you wish you could go back and change it all you would in a heartbeat.

After you had calmed down, you and your sister spent hours together laughing and giggling talking about your favorite childhood memories. It felt so good to finally make up with someone so important to you. You guys had ordered food and hung out till it was dark outside. Everything was calm until Paige asked a question that made your heart drop.

“So sis, what are you gonna do about KK?” Paige asked with a eyebrow raise.

“I have no clue” You said looking down picking at your nails.

“Well I think you should text her you know, break the ice maybe?” Paige said passing you your phone.

“I guess so P” You said hesitant.

You: hey kk u busy?

KK baby 😘: nah why

Before you could respond Paige showed you her groupchat with KK sending a screenshot of your text saying “i wonder what she has to say”. At first you felt a wave of nervousness run through your body but with closer examination you seen that she still as your contact saved as “my princess 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾” and you had a slight feeling that there was hope in rekindling your relationship.

You: ik u prob dont wanna talk but i cant stop thinking about you

Before you could say anything else Paige showed you KKs text asking what she should say to you.

“Dont worry, I got you” Paige chuckled.

KK baby 😘: u wanna meet up n talk?

You: yea can i come to ur place

KK baby 😘: doors open

“Oh my goshh” Paige said while shaking you by your shoulders.

“Stop you don’t even know whats gonna happen” You say getting up and putting your shoes on.

“Have funn, don’t make it worse Y/N” Paige said walking into the kitchen.

The walk over to KKs dorm was sickening. The thought of being in a room alone with her was enough to make you puke but you stayed strong.

You loved KK and was determined to make sure she knew that.

You gave a slight knock before walking into her dorm.

"KK?" You say softly, extremely nervous.

"Hey Y/N" KK said in basically a whisper.

Before you could say anything else KK cut you off.

"So what did you want?" KK said with a real attitude.

"I just wanted you to know that I was sorry and that I didnt mean to hurt you. I-" You said.

"Y/N, Y/N stop I know this already. You've sent me numerous paragraphs about how sorry you are" KK cut you off, walking closer to you.

"I know, im sorry um again but I jus-" You said before KK cut you off again.

"What do you have to say Y/N, im tired of the sorrys" KK said.

You took a big breath and swallowed before saying " KK, I cant function with knowing you and me aren't on good terms. You are everything to me and I should of made that known before. I know that doesn't make what I did any better but I was scared and I was being dumb and I-"

"Thats right you were dumb, but continue " KK said while cracking a little smile.

"All I wanted you to know is that I love you KK, like none of that fake bullshit like l genuinely love you and I miss you and I know this isn't fixing anything but I cant leave here without you knowing this. I completely understand if you hate me because what I did was really shitty but im sorry. I want you in my life and I never meant to make you feel anything different" You blurted out terrified for her reaction.

"Y/N, I could never hate you" KK said with a soft tone.

Before you could get anything else out KK said "I miss you too Y/N, if im being completely honest I get why you did what you did. Not saying I agree with it but I understand. Our relationship had started off on the wrong foot anyway"

"Soo, does this mean I get a redo?" You said smirking.

"Y/N don't push your luck" KK said.

Your heart dropped and you were about to start apologizing again until you seen KKs smile. She was the light in your life and you were hers.

KK walked closer to you and pulled you in by your waist. She pulled you in tight wrapping her strong arms around you.

KK had you stuck in her embrace for what it felt like hours. Her muscles relaxed as she felt you.

For weeks she'd been feeling like a part of her was missing, you were missing.

"I love you baby" KK whispered in your ear.

"I love you more" You whispered back.

8 days later

You, KK, Paige, and a few other girls from the team were all hanging out in Janas dorm. Some of the girls admitted they missed you and were pissed at Paige for leaving you out.

KK had took a picture of the you and her kissing and was planning on posting it.

"Mama what song should I use" KK asked while laying on you.

"Any baby im not sure" You said playing with her hair.

Paige had walked past you and playfully pushed your shoulder making you laugh.

You went through so many ups and downs trying to navigate the 2 most important relationships in your life. The tears shed and arguments on arguments seem like nothing now. You were finally at peace. No more secrets or hiding. You had everything you needed, ready to enjoy life with the people you love the most.

@private-but-not-a-secret @teddygrahamslam @syraxsbigfanfr @destinybueckers44

[aomiiine]

BOSS’S WIFE

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ ─── 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍!𝐑𝐀𝐍 w fem!reader who’s his boss’, Mikey’s, wife. warning(s) -> angst. nsfw. mdni. ran x reader + mikey x reader. infidelity obvly. a lil bit apathetic reader. dark themes(prostitution mention, drugs, murder). hints of lovesick ran. unrequited love from ran to reader. one-night stand vibes. near death experience. cheater!reader ig. alleged cheater!mikey. there’s some slowburn cs you’re stubborn. miscommunication between mikey and reader. endearments (darling, princess, etc.). car sex. praise. a lot of plot. i dont condone cheating whatsoever. not proofread. wc is 4.5k

author’s comment. mmyyeaahh so i def have a fav haitani now + urghhh not too happy w this BUT i liked exploring the idea

It was hours past midnight, the city cold and humid from recent rain that had stopped minutes ago. You sat beside your husband, Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano, on the couch of the isolated jazz club that he owned. He was talking business with some other yakuza men, something about delivery and drugs, perhaps a brief topic of prostitution exchange.

The unsettling environment wasn’t out of the ordinary for you anymore, not since you’ve known Mikey. You’ve stuck to him since middle school—more like he made you stick to him. But you never really made an effort to leave.

He satisfied you enough, your needs, emotionally and physically. Nothing made you feel better than the feeling of being needed, and your husband was the same. He needed an anchor, a reason to be. Coincidentally, you were willing to be both.

“You don’t have to stay here if you’re getting bored, baby. ‘Could always walk around the building or take a smoke outside. I’ll have someone guard you,” you heard your husband speak, snapping you out of your trance. Mikey held an arm around your shoulder, fingers rubbing up and down your arm comfortingly—the complete contrast of the look he had in his eyes. His dark depths gazing at you as if he couldn’t give a fuck if you lived or died the next few seconds. But Mikey never acted like that, of course. He was a great husband considering the lifestyle he led.

“Alright, I’ll do that then,” you nodded obediently, not finding the harm in accepting the given opportunity to leave the monotonous conversation. So you got up after leaving Mikey a quick kiss to his cheek, walking away from the table and walking over to the backdoor exit of the building.

As you did so, you walked past one of Mikey’s men, a familiar tall purple haired man. You recognised him from the corner of your eye, your peripheral vision doing you a favour by informing you who your guard for the night was. It wasn’t a surprise he followed you without having to be ordered, always doing such things involving you voluntarily.

“Shouldn’t stray too far from the building, darling,” you heard him call out to you, most likely, from behind as you stepped out into the window streets, road pretty empty save for the occasional passing cabs.

Your lips strained downward for a split second.

“You’ll be here to lead me back, Ran,” a breathy sigh left your lips, faint smoke leaving your lips from the cold. Your hands tugged on the white faux fur coat you had on, a vain attempt to keeping your tense torso warm. With a confident stride, you kept on walking ahead, paying no regard to the man who tagged behind you like it was his personal wish rather than a dull order from his boss.

“That doesn’t guarantee that I’ll lead you back healthy. You’ll definitely get a cold if you keep walking out here like this,” he retorted without much effort, his tone slight frustrated despite his matter-of-factly manner of answering you. It made your brow twitch, your lips pressed to a thin straight line.

You didn’t add another word to the exchange, letting it hang. Cars proceeded to drive past the road beside you, your legs bringing you further and further away from the jazz club you recently left. It was almost like you were running away. And you were almost determined to do so, though you long knew that was never an option anymore.

Ran noticed every change of your body language even though he only had the view of your back. The subtly tremble of your legs were enough to alarm him, narrowing his lilac eyes and fueling his resolve to keep an eye on you, not for his boss’s sake—for your sake.

Subtly splashes of water from the passing cars filled the atmosphere, faint engines and dim city building lights and with lamp lights setting the perfect atmosphere for you to envision your escape. Everything seemed so perfect, so staged, too good to be true. You were so focused on getting ahead, on heading away miles away from wherever Mikey was—until you were pulled out of it.

A sharp car screech filled the previously silent noise. Suddenly your ears were ringing, all the noise you cancelled out returning to you again. You turned your head, heels backtracking from shock. Ran’s hand held a nearly painful grip on your upper arm, pulling you back with reasinably strength.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed? If that’s what it is then I got a gun with silencer on it for ya to use, for fuck’s sake!” Ran was practically yelling, his voice raised and his expression contorted to one of anger and worry. His brows were furrowed deeply, vein on his forehead and neck practically bulging as he pulled back a bit more before finally releasing you.

“W-what?” was all you could utter, blinking up at him with wide eyes, a bit dumbfounded about the situation.

“You almost got yourself run over by a car, what’s gotten into you? Ya need sleep, or something?” Ran seemed to answer your confusion without hesitation, the realisation that you almost died making you turn around and take in your surroundings.

Shit.

A sports car was practically swerved over to the sidewalk, thankfully not crashing into a post light. The driver drove off after yelling crazy bitch out his window. The insult made Ran grit his teeth, head tilted in further annoyance. You stopped him with a hand on his arm before he could do anything, stealing his attention quite quickly.

“I’m fine. Really. Just tired, like you said,” you muttered with a soft sigh after, lowering your head to gather yourself. All the while you had your lids closed shut, you felt a warm arm circle your shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s get you back,” he murmured, almost trying to comfort you. And in a way it did, he did—his warmth did. You followed him silently, letting him guide you back to the jazz club where Mikey was again.

While you were mostly silent throughout the walk, you eventually spoke up when you realised you were gonna have to face Mikey again. You felt a bit guilty for feeling like this, for wanting to avoid your own husband. But it wasn’t your fault you needed some space, some air to breath away from the heavy atmosphere and tension that was always there with him.

“I don’t wanna go back yet,” you objected, halting your steps abruptly.

Surprisingly, or not, Ran doesn’t scold you. Instead, he stops with you, arm never loosening around you. He merely looks down at you, taking in every detail on your expression at that moment and taking a moment to think about where he could possibly whisk you away to.

“Fine. My car. Then we head back, you hear me?” Ran conceded with a soft huff, centre of his brows still slightly creased from his frowning. He exhaled a quiet okay when you nodded in agreement, hand squeezing your upper arm gently to urge you to keep on walking.

It didn’t take too long for him to find your way to his car parked a few buildings away from the jazz club where Mikey was still in probably. Ran unlocked the car, opening the door of the backseat before gently nudging you in, following suit right after you.

Ran didn’t bother moving to start the engine, knowing the last thing you needed was the AC making you colder than you already were. Speaking of which, Ran couldn’t help but notice your shivering self that quivered against him, the sight of you leaning into him so desperately making him feeling a heavy pang of affection, worry, and a whole bundle of emotions he knew he shouldn’t have, things that he kept buried in the depths of his heart. And yet being in your presence for a few minutes was enough to unravel all of it, every dark detail of it.

“You’re actually chittering, princess,” he muttered, leaning down to press a chaste kiss onto the top of your head, a soft chuckle leaving his lips too in an effort to lighten the mood.

“And you’re actually annoying,” you refuted, voice small yet breathy as you shifted yourself on the leather seats, nuzzling under his arm and into his chest. Your arms were folded over your chest, holding your fur coat close to you. “Hmph, so mean,” you heard him whisper back, sarcasm lacing every syllable.

You more focused on warming yourself up at the moment, but that didn’t mean you didn’t notice how touchy and warm Ran was being. All the questions popped up in your mind about him, until you started questioning yourself, your own actions. You allowed him to do everything he did. You followed him back and forth, allowed him to bring you close to him, hell you even agreed to get in his car when you could’ve suggested some random alleyway to get a breather.

At some point, your shivering stopped. Your arms were wrapped around yourself, eyes staring mindlessly at his lap with your expression awfully neutral—the opposite of your mind that spiralled.

But a few breathers was all it took for you to forget. To dismiss everything. It wasn’t unlike Mikey had done the same anyway, entertaining other people like you were. For all you know, he’s probably done worse considering the amount of clubs he’s went to without you.

Now you’ve somewhat rationalised your actions, you lifted your head from Ran’s chest, tilting your head up to look at him. It seemed like he was staring at you already with how your gazes locked immediately.

“What is it, princess?” He broke the silence with that hoarse yet gentle voice of his, smiling faintly at you as if you were a stray cat he was trying to coax closer. As much as he loved staring into your beautiful eyes, he knew if he allowed to moment to stretch any longer his lips would end up pressed against yours—and just maybe more.

“Just wondering why you give a fuck about me in the first place.”

Ran could feel his smile fade from his face, his violet eyes no longer making an effort to look lighthearted for you. Those downturned eyes of his shifted to a stern gaze, almost determined.

If you thought your mind spiralled, his was a whole damn hurricane now.

“That’s an easy question. Though the answer’s probably something you don’t wanna know,” he answered cryptically, hand on your shoulder squeezing you once.

“You’d wish you never knew,” you heard him add, voice low yet barely above a whisper. You felt your breath hitch in throat, eyes fixated on him still. You felt your mouth dry up and closed your lips, brows furrowing slight as you turned away from him.

“I want to know. I don’t care about some creepy consequence you’re so worried about, Ran. All I’m asking about is why you act so nice w—,” you were stopped between your rant, your attempt to persuade him to be honest with you backfiring.

In a blink of an eye, he had his hand push you back against the seat, lips parted from his persistent tongue. You mumbled something but the kiss muffled your words, previously widened eyes now turning half-lidded from his warmth and shortness of breath.

“R-Ran, get a hold of yourself,” you panted once he broke the kiss, your hands reaching up to his chest and shoulder, failing to push him off of you. He kept you corner between the small space of him and the backrest behind you, face inches away from yours still.

You caught your breath, hands pushing him growing weaker until you decided to let up. Your eyes flickered from your lap up to his face, the resolve in his gaze unwavering.

“What does this mean?” You whispered, quizzically looking at him. The confusion on you towards his actions almost made Ran smile, but all he could manage was a faint laugh.

“Means that I love you.”

The crease between your brows deepened at his confession.

You weren’t exactly pleased per se, but it did make sense. It made a lot of sense. Made his demeanour towards you logical.

You suspected his feelings for you before, though you never entertained the thought. Ran was busy beyond words being Mikey’s executive, and you on the other hand were married. Yet it seems like that didn’t seem to bother Ran much.

“How exactly am I supposed to respond to that, Ran?” You sighed, almost pleading, beautiful orbs of yours falling to your lap once more.

“That’s the thing. You don’t.”

Huh?

Before you could open your mouth, he sealed your lips in another kiss, needier this time. He wanted to shut you up, to take your mind off things—everything. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t working.

How could you possibly think about anything else when Ran had a hand on your thigh, running up the thin pantyhose you wore under that dark red leather miniskirt. The force of his greedy kisses made you slump up the plush seat behind you, making you lean over to the side until your back was against the window of the car door. Ran had another hand on your waist, skimming under your coat to cup the flesh your side.

“You don’t have to say a word—I don’t want an answer from you. Just want you, baby,” the man grunted into your mouth, tongue swiping against yours and teeth tugging on your lower lip. His breath was as heavy, much like yours.

It was hard for you not to reciprocate his kisses, his touch, not when he had you cornered with little to no space to move or focus on anything but him. And that was exactly what he wanted—your undivided attention, even if it was just for the moment.

Ran was tired of just admiring you from afar, exhausted from having to settle with the women that kept throwing themselves at him in the clubs he went to after work.

What he hated most was having to imagine you and your stunning figure beneath him whenever he was fucking those girls, having to wish he could see you every day after work like his boss could. Ran wanted the real thing so badly, he fucking craved it. But he hid those desires so well that it would leave anyone in Bonten in shock if they knew he had the fattest, more ridiculous crush on you.

Like a student to his teacher. It was humiliating, yet so fucking thrilling. And that was just it with Ran. Nothing had him more addicted to something other than the excitement.

So while Ran had his hands all over you, lips kissing you everywhere, he made sure to savour it. To take his time suckling on your red tongue, nibbling and marking on your swollen bottom lips that he had damp with saliva. Ran had to make sure you enjoyed it too—‘cause fuck if you didn’t want him as much he wanted you—

“Wrap your legs around me, sweetheart,” he whispered through bated breath, shifting himself and grabbing one of your legs to lift on the car seat, wanting to be between your legs.

His demands were almost impossible to deny anymore. He’s made your mind hazy from the lewd, sloppy kisses he’s given you. The cold air only made it worse since it only made you crave warmth more than you should—his warmth.

“Good girl, that’s it,” you heard him praise you, his slender fingers running over the waistband of your leather skirt, unfastening the metal button and pulling down the zip. His violet eyes were sickeningly fixated on your lower-half, as if in anticipation to see your most intimate parts—more like anticipating what kind of panties you were wearing, what kind of lingerie you preferred.

You whined softly, still unsure what he was praising you for exactly. Was it for your cooperation? If so then he’ll have to keep on praising you for the next few minutes ‘cause you’d seriously consider acting up if he stopped. What kind of woman were you if you asked him to stop now? Sure, a woman with a moral compass. However, such a thing was discarded by you the first few seconds you entered his car.

Married or not, you didn’t know if there was any kind of woman out there that would resist Ran when he was like this—so attentive, so careful with touching you but gazing at you with predatory-like eyes. You almost felt naked under him even when you weren’t. It was like he saw all of you, inside and out.

And that was when you were beginning to truly be naked under him. Decisive fingers peeling off your leather miniskirt, then hooking under the waistband of your pantyhose to pull it down to your knees.

“Do you trust me?” The question threw you off for a moment, watching him move to sit on his knees on the carseat horizontally and carrying your legs over his shoulders, nearly folding you against the small corner he drove you in.

Your head was practically forced up against the window, back bent forward and legs held by Ran. Your lips quivered subtly, the discomfort adding to your anxiousness. Yet that question of his seemed to stem from that exactly.

With a meek nod, you mumbled a soft yes to assure him. Not a second later he slid his hand down your lifted thighs, rubbing and gently squeezing the inner flesh, cold fingers dangerously close to the apex of your legs. You followed his every move as best as you could, swallowing the lump of nervousness in your throat.

It was almost tantalising, the way he navigated his way down and up your body with such ease, such adoration. If you looked closely enough, you could have seen the gleams of mesmerisation in his violet eyes. And holy fuck, did that turn you on even more, thighs twitching close together with the wet patch on your panties growing bigger.

You could feel your heart skip a beat at the sight of Ran’s lips curling to a smirk. He clearly noticed your arousal, especially so with the view he had of you from that position.

“Ah-ah.. you don’t get to be shy,” Ran warned, hand gripping your thigh tighter to peel them away from each other when you subconsciously started to cross them to hide yourself.

“I’ve been so long for this, darling. So fuckin’ long,” he breathed, impatience evident in the way his gaze alternated between your heaving chest and your fat folds covered by the thing fabric of your panties. Without wasting a moment more, he moved a hand down to your pussy, slipping the long index between your folds, middle finger joining to find your clit with ease, rubbing the sensitive nub up and down in slow motions. You gasped sharply at the sudden pleasure, legs on his shoulders quaking from the stimulation alone.

“So damn soaked for me, baby. Did ya wait for me too?” He cooed, shifting the focus of his slender fingers to your aching slit, gently digging inside through your panties to give you a taste of what was to come.

The soft moans from you was enough to spur him on, half-heartedly fucking you with his fingers through the clothes. It reached a point where the tip of his fingers were soaked in your nectar, all sticky and lubed up to fuck you for real.

Low groans rumbled in his chest with every move he made on your cunt, dipping down your panties until he could feel your walls flutter around with need.

“Need me to fuck you, don’t you darling? Need me balls deep inside you,” you heard him grunt, fingers probing your wet pussy until he wasn’t. He withdrew his fingers, hand moving to his belt instead, unbuckling it to unbutton and unzip his pants with ease.

Ran found it adorable how engrossed you were in the scene of him tugging his pants and boxers downwards to pull out his cock, already hard and throbbing for you.

Bending down to you, Ran had your legs pushed up not from your chest, threatening to squash your tits for the soft jiggle effect he’d drool over.

“Gonna have to relax a bit more, darlin’. I gotta fuck you in the best angle,” he drawled, fastening your legs to his neck and snug on his shoulders. His cologne was borderline intoxicating, the intense scent inducing your lightheadedness.

“‘M not that flexible,” you grumbled, trying to relax your limbs like he said regardless. When you did, he folded your limbs further, adding a little bit of force to reach his desired position. “There ya go, angel,” he murmured just for your ears, earning himself a soft whimper from you.

Not a second later, Ran aligned his cock right up your entrance, the head leaking beads of precum smearing up your folds, pushing his hips forward until he slid up past your entrance. He had you reach up to cling onto his suit jacket, clenching your fingers around his arms while he dug his dick into your depths to the hilt, breath stuck in his throat as if you were choking his throat instead of his cock.

“Holy fuck—feels so fuckin’ good, you feel so good,” he crooned, staying still for a while to let you adjust to the intrusion before he started moving again, pacing it slow at first and subtly progressing to frenzied tempo, hips rocking uncontrollably.

Your lips hung open, eyes darting from Ran’s face to the mess that was your squelching cunt, the sound of his hips slapping against your ass filling the car along with.

“Ran—! Want you cum, cum for me,” you whine, heart hammering in your chest in sync with the seconds he drove his pulsating cock in and out of your gummy walls, the hold he had on your thighs turning desperate as he chased his orgasm, and yours. “Careful what you—fuck-wish for,” Ran stuttered, his arousal amplified with your constant moans and begging, the cramped space thickening the air and tension around your sweat sheened bodies.

“Cum for me, darling—fuck-ngh, cum with me,” he groaned with heavy pants, jaw clenched at the slick feeling of your juices dripped down his shaft to his tense balls, feeling it tighten along with the knot in his lower belly. A few short, frenzied thrusts was all it took for him to finally come undone along with you, your sopping wet pussy clamping down on his heavy cock triggering his orgasm.

Your features scrunched up in pleasure along with Ran, your legs quaking around his shoulders and your toes curled from the feeling of his semen spilling inside you in thick ropes. Ran stayed inside you even after your orgasm, basking in the afterglow with shared breaths and groans.

“I.. hate you,” was all you could breath out at the moment, eyes fluttering and threatening to close with your head rested on the mirror of the car door. Slowly, Ran withdrew his cock from your well-filled cunt, leaving a string of your mixed juices that soon broke to stain your inner thigh.

“Can’t say the same for you, princess..,” Ran chuckled half-heartedly, pulling away and shrugging your legs off his shoulders to lay carelessly on the carseat as he grabbed a tissue to wipe the mess on lingering on your skin.

Your eyes followed the movement of Ran’s hand, watching him clean you up so carefully unlike the roughness he had when he was fucking you earlier. Didn’t even need to glance at your thighs, you knew there were red welts everywhere on them from how much he was clawing onto your flesh desperately.

Silence filled the car for a moment, unspoken words kept deep within yourself as he helped dress you up again, sitting you up properly on the seat and asking if he went too rough on you anywhere.

It wasn’t like he was doting you either. Not too much anyway. He gave you space as much as he gave you his concern, probably aware he crossed some lines that he shouldn’t have. Despite that, Ran being Ran, he wasn’t ashamed, nor did he feel guilty for any of it.

“You know he’ll kill you, right?” your hoarse voice whispered to break the silence, illuminated only by the dim street lights around you.

“Only if he knows.”

“He’s definitely gonna fucking know.”

“He won’t really kill me,” Ran shrugged, stuffing a hand into his pocket to take out a packet of cigarettes, wanting to light one up to take a smoke as if none of it bothered him. And in a way, it really didn’t.

“Ran,” you warned, furrowing your brows and glaring at him in a sideway glance. Your arms folded on chest, head leaning back against the headrest as you turned away and sighed.

“Doesn’t matter. I got the fuck the love of my life—so if he kills me, I’m gonna die with a fucking smile, you hear me?” Ran spoke, his tone of voice clearly set as if he made up his mind when he turned to you, lit up cigarette held between the fingers of his right hand.

“Besides. You sure as hell enjoyed it, hm? Bet you haven’t had an orgasm like that in a while, have you?” he added, hints of teasing lacing his voice with his free hand reaching out to cup your face.

That playful mood of his was short lived when he felt you lean into his hand, eyes fluttering shut. He felt his heart being tugged on.

“You poor thing,” was all you heard him whisper lowly a moment after his lighthearted remark, hand on your cheek moving to the back of your head to pull you into him.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A click echoed in the room and the beeping stopped.

“We got this from the bug we planted in executive Ran’s car, sir.”

A pathetic scoff left Mikey’s lips, his lips curling to a faint smirk before it faded to a straight line again.

The white haired man stared at the voice recording the device laid on the table by one of his men, hands curling to fists as he tried to quell the urge to destroy it—to destroy something.

Except he didn’t. Patience. That was what you taught him.

You taught him patience like it was the best thing in the world, calmness, since he always killed people on sight without hesitation. Mikey tried, for your sake. He worked on more negotiations rather than ordering his executives to go on murder sprees, and one of those negotiations happened tonight at the jazz club.

He thought maybe by now, that he’s got the hang of it. But Mikey doesn’t know if ‘patience’ was good anymore. How was it as ‘good’ as you said, when because of patience, he lost you.

Mikey waited, and waited, and waited for his chance to get closer to you. To open up to you more than the surface level relationship you two had. He wanted to be a real husband to you, to be your lover.

Maybe calmness wasn’t something he should practice anymore. Since you succumbed so easily to what Ran forced on you.

Well, at least you knew he’ll kill Ran.

[jjwolves]

Hi! just wanna request ( you dont have to abswer ofc) any ena hc you have? ooor maybe some moonie ones?

─ ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─── Yellow Magic, Blue Miracle ─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆─

What: 5 ENA X Reader Headcanons (Romantic)

Who: ENA, from ENA by Joel G

How Much: ~800 words; reading time ~3 mins

Images: Top -> Joel G; Divider -> @cafekitsune

Warnings: None

Genre: Romance

ENA is pretty unaware of romance in general, at least starting out. She doesn’t have a very good reference point for your feelings, nor her feelings for you. But she does start to feel… very strongly about you the more you two hang out and go on adventures together. “I mess up everything I touch! I’m a disaster!” she wailed once when the two of you were stuck in a vat of glitter glue. “Don’t say that!” you yelled back. ENA’s face flickered. “You’re the only reason we even got this far! Give yourself more credit!” How confounding! On one hand, you sounded angry, but on the other, your words were encouraging. This was a puzzle she looked forward to solving.

Upon figuring some things out after reading a scroll on the subject made out of a butterfly’s wing (many thanks, love scroll!), ENA makes a beeline for wherever you are, obstacles be damned. She finds you and, yellow side as polite and unclear as usual, says, “The butterfly scroll has opened the shower curtain for me, and I’m now rinsing off the grime of formality.” “What?” A turn of the head and a pass of the emotional baton. “I was thinking that you loved me… But you don’t even know what I’m talking about!!” Before she can cry more than she already has, you take her hands, one soft and one blocky, and tell her the truth. “ENA, I do love you.” Her eyes widen and she’s buffering. "T-Truly?" But when she recovers from her stutter she’ll be crashing back into sunshine-colors in no time. You two adapt to the new relationship pretty quickly; it’s essentially just your friendship but with a new side unlocked. And she’ll need a new nickname for you to accommodate this, of course. She can’t call you “my good chum” anymore, so she calls you “my good love”. She says that it’s a reasonable meeting point. She assured you that “good” was the most accurate descriptor that she could grant your new title.

ENA is weird, obviously, and while you love her for it, it takes you time to adjust to her behavior now that you’re close. That is to say, she’s not the most stable person. When she thinks you’re hurt, emotionally or physically, she goes into panic mode. If ENA finds you crying, or bruised, or clutching a new sprain, she’s already blue, white and running around, her arms flailing and knocking things over. You’re flattered that it means so much to her… but there are times when it’s seriously inconvenient. If a poor soul enters ENA’s panic bubble when you’re near, she’ll be running over to them to frantically swat them away and cause a scene before running back to you and freaking out some more.

ENA’s sunshine-y side is big on chivalry, and while she wouldn’t hesitate to show a cartoon animal sent to assassinate her the common decency of saying “Hello, good sir!” before running away, she cranks it up to eleven with you around and becomes the most unhinged gentlewoman you may ever meet. She’s the type to run ahead and pull open a door for you, beckoning you inside. “May your feet march on unimpeded, my good love!” You stop at her side and raise an eyebrow. “That’s not the door we need to go in, but thanks.” She blinks once and you wince as she lets it slam shut. Loudly. Like, echoing. Another time, there was a puddle of acid on the ground you could easily walk around (or jump across if you could afford to lose some skin). ENA, sweetheart she is, plucked a coat off a nearby stranger and set it over the puddle for you. “The one I love should never have to fear a goopy fate.” Then the tall, imposing, and now jacketless shadow she stole from turned to you both and his hands became knives, so you two agreed that it was time to get the heck out of there.

Being so close to ENA means that you end up finding new sides to her you didn’t know existed. Everyone knows about her yellow and blue sides if they’ve known her for more than a minute. But she trusts you wholeheartedly with other sides of her that might be less palatable to other people. If she’s drunk, sick, or high off some strange substance or fae mood she encountered, she doesn’t feel the need to suppress her more monstrous forms, where she grows paler, darker, twisted, ceremonial. Instead, ENA just splays herself out on the couch next to you with her horns and flames jutting out of one side and a mischievous pale face smiling eerily from another, crawling over to you and laying in your lap. You both fall asleep pretty easily given the circumstances, resting in the home you found within each other. As you start to drift off, ENA’s regular face, now a symbol resting on her forehead, blushes and closes its eyes.

A/N: I hope that classic ENA is alright for now. I will probably do a Moony one in the near future. Or I may do one where they're both involved and one is the wingman for the other or something similar. Also, when I read ENA fics, I feel like they try to paper over ENA's blue side a lot, but I feel like it's a pretty important part of who she is, at least pre-Temptation stairway, so it's included pretty heavily here. Happy reading! More to come soon...

[livin4woso]

Casual-(alexia putellas x reader)

Summary- You can only keep it casual for so long right well. alexia doesn't want to any further than you just being a fling occasionally. However, you want more from her. You want commitment.

It's not as if alexia didn't like you or that she didn't find you attractive it was just that you were a low time commitment when she occasionally fancied when her schedule gave her a few hours free.

While that was good for the first month a summer fling as she proposed the idea to you however after 3 months, you can't help but catch feelings for the women who is in and out of your bed atleast once a week as a 'stress reliever'. The sneaking around your teamates to hide this suitationship was thrilling at first, like an adrenaline rush now it was plain boring and felt like a guilty secret.

You wanted the blonde to yourself as while it felt exclusive to you, there was no agreement for alexia to stay put to you she could do what she wanted when she wanted. You know you're not the only person she has slept with as she came into training with a neck full of hickeys and you dont leave marks because it has to be a secret right and even the slightest trace would ruin what was going on between yous.

However while you can accept it a few times you had reached your limit as you can't help but feel jealous when you know she has other women in her bed yet you sit and wait for her like a kicked puppy waiting for her attention.

You texted her to come round yours, but you didn't tell her what for as you needed to express your feelings towards her before you drag yourself deep falling for the blonde woman more than you already had.

Alexia hadn't expected much other than the usual routine of hook up wake up entangled in eachother then leave on the morning without a trace and she wasn't going to complain as you were some of the best sex she had in the past few years. She got changed into some sweats as she was used to the routine and didn't need to get dressed up nice as its not as if they would be on her for very long.

You heard the knock of the door usually filled you with excitement was now one of dread as this could either go two ways. You opened the door and greeted alexia, and as you almost slipped into your familiar routine of her lips pressed against your neck, you stopped her.

"Ale, can we talk, please?" you said, trying to push her towards the sofa. "Mhm," she said, understanding the hint and sat on the corner of your L shaped sofa. "Look, i just needed to confess something. i like you, and i can't keep doing this. Just as a random fling, i want commitment ,i want you, " you said, pacing the living room trying to read her stoic facial expressions. "Im sorry y/n, but i dont feel the same. i told you this was casual, and that's it. You knew that from the start," she replied, almost heartless "yeah right casual" you replied, pushing the loose strands of hair behind your head as almost a stress reliever.

This was a rash decision but it needed to end "then im sorry but we're finished no more of this of us whatever you even call this because i can't do casual anymore" you replied almost shocked at your own words. Alexia was almost stunned at you but she didn't let it slip not for one second "okay and i respect that I'll leave and I'll see you at training" she replied getting up to leave your apartment.

However, you couldn't see her at training knowing the countless times you'd been wrapped in her arms wanting to be hers. So you texted your agent and Accepted the deal to transfer to Chelsea this was the final straw if alexia didn't want to commit to you the only way to get rid of her is to remove her from your life completely.

Once the move was completed during the January window, you were having one of the best seasons you have had in a while with many goal contributions to the team. Meanwhile alexia was having a harder time to adjust without you and she had many of time thought about texting you saying she had lied that night and that she also felt the same but she was just scared to commit herself to a relationship again.

She couldn't do that not to you after she knew she had ruined you so much to leave for a different country but also to herself as her cowardness and anxiety had led to her mistake. Many teammates had asked her why you had transferred so abruptly, but she would never admit she was the reason for it all because she wanted to keep things casual between yous.

[lynnie-s3all]

forsaken cast x reader w spilt personalities :3

like one is every expressive and emotional and the other is just. monotone.

if u dont wanna do the whole cast then, 2time,chance,shedletsky (and maybe mafioso :333 ((ik hes from dream game ijdc c: ))

(if u want to) reader is a bottom 😈

im kind of a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴

-🌀🍀 anon

Did you know that i happen to have this in real life too anon? I mean, sure. I'm making it short cause I'm brain dead.

As for usual, I'm splitting these into parts.

Forsaken Casts x split personality reader

Tumblr stop making me have fame.

Elliot overall noticed that you have 2 moods, happy excited and very energetic and at when night time struck in, tired.

He doesn't mind actually. He can listen to you all day rambling about stupid stuff, and when the other mood comes in, he just feel like he needed the urge to hug and cuddle with you on the bed

Elliot thinks you look adorable when you're monotone mood kicks in. It's like peace and quiet for him. Bt still a bit annoying that you didn't really talk much during those hours.

Like you would just reply with like: "oh, okay." , "mhm.." Really dry. Even when he's complaining about work.

He still loves you anyway <3

This chicken dude.

He likes hearing you talk about anything, and he will also talk about his whole day too.

Sometimes in several minutes you just zoned out for a minute or two and he was puzzled for a bit. So he tried to hit you by the back amd ask if you we're okay

Well you told him you were fine, you just tell him that sometimes you randomly have no thoughts in your head and just tried to think about what topic to talk.

Okay now this doesn't feel right because isn't reader supposed to be monotone in 2 seperate personalities?

Definitely. Alright I don't want to continue talking about him.

UNHINGED MF. Okay definitely reminded them of AZURE-

I'm joking, who says I'm letting them remind you as Azure.

Okay energetic reader, I'm pretty sure they're chilling listening to you about our day and then your mood went so dry to the point that they look at you like you're dead from the inside.

They thought you're planning to kill with that dead expression, guess not.

Maybe you are. They're just not sure about it and they gave you their dagger and that mood went into confusion on your face.

Well okay spawn believer, if you really want reader to go kill someone then sure.

ALRIGHT THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE ACTUAL PLOT OF THE WHOLE HEADCANON ANYMORE PLS FORGIVE ME-

[funstyle]

for you page simulator

👽 that-one-crazy-disney-mama Follow

[screenshot of a tweet thats a screenshot of a tumblr post]

#196 #humor

🎼 character-playlist-polls Follow

Would [youtuber name] from [dense minecraft roleplay series] listen to Songs About Fucking (1987) by Big Black?

0 votes

🕊️sobelizardjuiceofficial Follow

i just hallucinated god telling me joan baez was "without a doubt smashing bob dylan prostate somethin delirious" back in the day

👹 specificthingyoureintofan Follow

[post abt niche thing you like] [u cant interact w this person bc u have decided they dont like u which is based fully in ur own insecurity]

#am i the only one who gives a fuck abt [thing you like] omg.

👼 mutual294 Following

Having weed marijana panicattack

[HUGE AD THAT STOPS PLAYING YOUR MUSIC FOR SOME REASON]

🤍 traumawaif2010 Follow

[picture of a wrist] pre-algabra test today im nervuss guyss >_< drinking sum tea out of a single raspberry to fuel my tiny innocent delacite porcelin girlbody ♡

#coquette #thincore #lana del rey #mentally ill child #white aesthetic #nymph3t #republican childbride aesthetic #female rage #4n0r3x14 #triggering post written by child #something really sad is happening dont think abt it too hard #girlhood

🫦 snl-fantasy-garden Follow

Does anyone else wonder if the blues brothers explored each others bodies

#'theyre brothers' so.

👾 mutual572 Following

out of pills should i shoot myself. i will not be finishing fic im writing where dan and phil are jfk and jackie o tonite

🔥 pervertdepot Follow

Hey i know its the middle of the day but you ever think about like effeminate guys on their knees whimpering choking bound wrists sobbing hot wet doe eyed nerdsex mommykitten fucked stupid drooling writhing in pain desperate needy slut leaking hard cock helpless pornmoans slapped flushed pitiful pussyeating nose gfd joi s&m cvs submissive bootlick strapgagged spit on begging sucking big tits milfdomme goodboy sex torture

#wjere am i

🎪 circusephemera Follow

[clearly ai generated image]

Ancient clown bones excavated in South France.

👻 mutual946 Following

did anyone notice i got way hotter after i quit taking my lamictal..... its giving gods plan kinda

🦄 fandomsexual-in-the-tardis Follow

i caant stop crying no matter what i do i cant fuckig win. last time i got kicked off the discord server for talking about my israeli sans undertale headcanon (even though it literally helps me cope with my chronic morgellons). and now im getting kicked out of the southpark fandom? bc apparently a 42 year old sapiosexual cant send dms anymore? this is why were losing third spaces. ive had it up to here with the puriteens 🙄

#eric dont look #kyle dont look #captains log #queue me up scotty #sex negativity #proship

🧊 icecube-rp Follow

im meltinggg :( aaahhhhh

[hairscare]

as someone who has used a cane for over 2 years now ive noticed a really interesting bias against canes by able bodied people in comparison to other mobility aids. when we were at the same college my roommate used forearm crutches and i had my cane, and it became a joke to us how much more helpful and accommodating people were towards him (of course still overall bad- but better). the main example we always talk about is that people would fall over themselves to help him with doors, even to the point that it would get inconvenient (like trying to open the door to the accessible bathroom for him but in the process standing in the bathroom), meanwhile people would let doors shut on me without batting an eye. he started using a cane recently so i asked him about if there was a difference in how people treated him and he said there was a noticable difference and that people were less eager to help him when he was using it in comparison to the crutches. i have a few theories as to why:

1. most canes you see in media being used by someone who isnt elderly are aesthetic canes, and so people dont take it as seriously if a younger person is using one

2. unlike a lot of mobility aids, canes are one handed, which gives the illusion of an extra hand free. what people dont understand is that yes, while i do have an extra hand free, i am using that hand double time since the other one is occupied. also a lot of things require two hands (especially for someone with a disability) so doing everything one handed can be tough. i use my dominant hand to hold my cane since my pain is worse on my left side, which means that the hand i do have free isnt one i can use to type things in or write, so if i need to do that i have to put my cane under my arm and use my right hand

3. canes are taken less seriously as mobility aids since to an able bodied person they dont look as severe, which gives the impression that cane users are more capable than other mobility aid users. while yes, it is true that canes can be a starter mobility aid that will eventually be traded for another type as symptoms progress, that doesnt mean that canes are for Disability Lite. me and my roommate used our mobility aids for similar reasons and have had very similar pain experiences, we just used different aids. canes are also a significantly cheaper option compared to other aids and are easier to find in stores, and so are much more accessible. besides all that though, there shouldnt even be a bar for how disabled a person needs to be to recieve help, which id argue is a very controversial opinion to have anymore

4. canes are still a joke. they are still widely used as a funny prop to indicate that someone is old, incapable and feeble. even on tumblr i still see people utilizing canes in this way in artwork and memes, and thats obviously very alienating. mobility canes arent props, and you probably should not draw someone with one unless you actually intend to have that character need it

in my short 2 years of using a cane i have already faced so much ableism, most of which has come from young left leaning people. of course theres a wider issue of disabled people being the odd group out in the effort to stop bigotry since literally everyone will punch down on us. there are also certainly privileges to using a cane compared to other mobility aids. but its also incredibly strange how invisible they are, like people forget that i have one for a reason

[collapsedglasshouses]

HOTEL NEIGHBORS || Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader

PHOTO CREDIT: Bryan Kirks

SUMMARY: After you hear Noah talk about liking experienced women, you can't help but feel insecure about yourself. Noah wants nothing but to lift your spirits.

WARNINGS: SMUT, MDNI, friends to lovers, inexperienced reader, slight ? dom!noah i guess, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected p in v (dont do that), slight mutual pining?, not edited oopsie, ...

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6

A/N: This idea planted itself in my head last night and I don't even know what to say anymore. I’m more than stressed because of university, but I hope my creative spark is coming back rather sooner than later. Is anyone actually reading what I say here. If you're reading this say hi in the comments, ily. Please, enjoy and consider reblogging if you liked it.

You didn’t exactly know you had gotten into this situation but at this exact moment you were shifting in your place and wanted nothing more but to vanish into thin air.

You were currently sitting in a hotel lobby, exhausted and tired from the show the boys had played, and waited for Matt to hand you the keys to your hotel rooms. Somehow in the course of the last ten minutes, the conversation between the guys had turned. They were talking about previous relationships and the experience it came with since Folio had been freshly separated from his ex-girlfriend.

“I don��t know what it is, but I feel like I just want someone with more experience, you know? I’m not saying I wouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t have much experience but I just-… I don’t know. You know what I mean, Noah?” Folio rambled and looked at the man next to you in hopes to find confirmation.

“Yeah, I know. I prefer women with experience, too. I guess.” Noah just mindlessly mumbled while looking at his phone.

You knew for sure the boys didn’t say this in an ill intend but somehow this exchange began to bother you more than you wanted it to. In all honesty, it felt like a punch straight to your face. You felt stupid that this simple exclaim from Noah got to you, but you couldn’t really help it. It wasn’t like you never had sex. You had a boyfriend that you dated from high school to about two years ago, but when it came to your sex life it felt like you never really experienced anything. You knew almost everything that only concerned you, but when it came to another person being involved, your knowledge stopped. You knew what you liked and what you disliked. But that didn’t make the conversation you just witnessed any less hurtful.

You swallowed hard before standing up from your waiting seat in a rather fast manner.

“Imma head to the bathroom.” You mumbled so quietly you feared nobody would have heard you, before walking away. You didn’t see how Noah looked after you with a confused facial expression.

You slammed the door shut behind you and stared at your reflection in the fancy bathroom mirror. Your eyes were watery and you hated yourself for that. Especially Noah’s sentence echoed in your head and you hated that you had a weak spot for him. You hated that you got along with him too well for your liking. When the band hired you as an assistant for Matt about a year ago, you hadn’t planned that all of this would happen. You thought you were there for only one tour and now you were already on your third with the band. To your astonishment, you got along wonderfully with everyone, but you and Noah had a special bond. You didn’t know what it was exactly but somehow you repeatedly found yourself in deep conversations about literally everything with him. It took you well over six months to realize that you didn’t just simply like him as a friend, but you were starting to fall for him.

Right now, you hated yourself that you never got brave enough to admit it to him. You always acted like nothing had changed and you felt embarrassed about the fact that a small sentence like that could throw you off so bad when you didn’t have the right to act like that about it.

A couple of minutes passed before you had enough courage to head back to the boys. So, you took a deep breath and wiped away the single tear that had managed to escape, before stepping out of the bathroom again. Gladly, you didn’t have to justify your sudden move as Matt approached the group at the same time as you to hand you the keys.

“Finally, I thought we needed to sleep in the lobby.” You managed to say with a lopsided smile while Matt handed you your key.

While your group headed in the elevator, you took up a small conversation with Matt about things that had happened at tonight’s show, before he headed out together with the others. The only two left in the elevator being, of course, you and Noah.

“Looks like we’re neighbors tonight.” He answered you with a sweet smile after looking at your key for a second.

“Cool.” You tried to exclaim as friendly as possible and cringed for your second. Even the most unempathetic person on this planet would have realized that something was going on with you, but you were glad Noah decided to not talk about it as you walked to your rooms.

A couple of hours later, you were finished with your evening and ready to go to sleep but before you could slip under the blankets, you heard a slight knock on your door. For a second, you considered to just ignore it but when it knocked again, you sighed and opened the door just enough to look who was disturbing your peace at these ungodly times.

You were greeted by Noah with a worried expression on his face. For a second, you just looked at him confused, but he was fast to explain, while you opened the door a little more.

“Tell me what I did. You’ve been ignoring literally all my texts for more than three hours at this point.” He exclaimed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Of course, he was right about his statement. You had seen his texts. Normally, you’d test about the concert or some random stuff until you were both to sleepy to respond, but you had decided you couldn’t deal with him this evening. Not after you got so emotional because of a stupid sentence.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” You lied and mirrored his gesture.

He lifted his eyebrow, and you already know he wouldn’t let you out of that conversation until you gave him the answers he wanted. “Gaslight someone else, sweetheart.” He grumbled.

You sighed and looked at your hands. “It’s nothing, Noah.”

“Oh, come on. You know nothing you is unimportant.” He encouraged you.

It felt stupid. Stupid how easy it was to open up to him, but you knew you couldn’t just tell him what’s been on your mind, so you simply shook your head. You were about to close the door, when he reached into the doorframe and pressed himself in your room while you protested.

“Y/n. Seriously, what’s going on?” He muttered in a soft tone while sitting down on your bed. He patted the place next to him. When you sat down, he turned to fully face you and touched your shoulder. “Please talk to me.”

“I really can’t, Noah.” You whispered. “It’s so fucking stupid.”

You felt so dumb, you wanted to slap yourself. You didn’t want this to go bad. You hated your feelings for choosing him. For opening up to him. For becoming so close with him. You remembered how you had joked with Matt about how everyone would eventually fall for THE lead singer and how you said Noah is just a really good friend and now look at you. Unable to even look him straight in the face.

“Did I say something?” Noah wanted to know, and you briefly looked at him. You couldn’t hold his gaze any longer in fear you would crack. You looked at his shirt to calm your thoughts but that was when you noticed his neckline and your thoughts instantly began to wander.

“You never not tell me anything.” Noah urged.

“Why are you so desperate?” You asked him in slight annoyance and swept his hand of your shoulder.

He blinked surprised for a couple of seconds before answering you. “Because you can’t even look at me and I don’t like that.”

Your heart jumped with happiness when you heard that confession, even if it was innocent.

“That’s not true.” – “Then look at me.”

You sighed before forcing your eyes onto his for a second just to look away again.

“See?” He mumbled, defeated. “I’m sorry if I said something that upset you. I didn’t mean it.”

“So, you didn’t mean you liked girls with experience better than others?” You spat out before you could even think about it more and instantly regretted it.

Noah opened and closed his mouth in confusion. He knew about your previous experiences or lack of experience.

“See that’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. It is dumb.” You tried to brush off what had just happened, but Noah shook his head.

“No, no, no. It’s not dumb. I didn’t mean it like that, I-…” He began to explain but you just sighed and rolled your eyes.

“Just stop, Noah.” You mumbled and laid down on your bed. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is another stressful day.”

“N-no… I really didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t even paying attention to Folio. I-… I don’t care about experience, Y/N. I consider myself lucky if anyone gets close to me at the moment. I’m a stressed mess, you know.” Noah rambled out and you noticed that he was nervous. You couldn’t really think about why.

“Oh c’mon. Everyone would consider themselves lucky to sleep with you, Noah. And you fucking know that.” You joked halfheartedly, but then a smile crept onto his face.

“You too?” He asked with a broad smirk on his face.

“Huh?” You huffed as your eyes grew wide.

“I mean… I know you are worried about not having too much experience… I just-…” He swallowed hard. “I could… help with that.”

“You wanna have sex with me?” You bluntly asked your friend and felt your heart almost exploding in your chest.

“I-… You know, we-… I-…” He began to stutter for a second but then he saw how nervous you looked and stopped in his tracks. “So, you wanna have sex with me.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you swallowed hard. “Uh… I…”

“Forget it, you don’t have to answer th-…” – “Actually, I do.”

Your voice was not more than a whisper while your thoughts were racing. You just blankly confessed that to him, because you were tired. Tired of holding back.

“You are joking, right?” Noah mumbled; his mouth slightly open.

“Oh, come on. As if this comes as a surprise. There are literally people writing fanfiction about you.” You said and ran a hand through your hair in frustration.

“And you know that why?” He exclaimed and smiled lopsidedly.

Your eyebrows rose for a second when you realized what you had said.

When you didn’t answer, he spoke again. “So, you wanna have sex with me?”

“Trust me, with each word coming out of your mouth, the urge is getting less and less.” You answered him and rolled your eyes. His smile faded slightly, and he looked you deep in the eyes.

“Would you feel better if I told you I’ve thought about it, too?” He exclaimed and the tone of his voice shot straight to your core. This didn’t feel real.

“Yeah… Yeah that would help.” You mumbled and swallowed hard, not knowing how to proceed.

A second later, Noah was hovering over your, his face only a couple of inches away from you and you felt how the atmosphere in the room changed.

“You really wanna do this?” He asked you as your hands travelled to the hem of your shirt. You nodded.

“Tell me, you want this.” He almost pleaded with you.

“I want you to fuck me, Noah. For god sake, should I write it down for you?” You whisper-shouted against his lips and with that he giggled quietly before kissing your lips with such force that you realized he wasn’t joking. You grabbed his face and pulled him even closer to you. It felt like you two grasped onto everything. It felt like you were each other’s last meal. Like you were starved for so long, you couldn’t control it anymore.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him down towards your core that was only clothed in your underwear, and you could feel how hard he was. You couldn’t help but grind against him. He slightly moaned into your mouth as your tongues danced with each other and you moved your hips again.

“Stop that.” He suddenly groaned against your mouth, and you began to grin. “What if I don’t?”

“Then I’m not going to go easy on you, sweetheart.” He warned you. It didn’t take a second for you to grind against him one more time, while smiling proudly about what a hard time he had with you.

“You’re going to regret that.” He mumbled and grabbed your hips with his hand firmly. This alone almost made you cum. It felt like something in him snapped. His pupils were blown wide with lust and then he was underdressing you. It was like he was ripping you out of your clothes.

When he reached your underwear, he stopped for a second and looked at you for reassurance. It was the last chance for you to tell him, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want him to stop.

“I trust you.” You breathed out and bucked your hips for a second.

“You don’t even know how long I’ve been waiting for his, Y/n.” He answered you as he slowly slipped down your underwear. He didn’t waste any time after that and only a few kisses later to your stomach, you felt how his tongue moved through your folds. A soft moan escaped your mouth and you arched your hips to possibly get any closer to him.

Your hands found their way in your hair. It wasn’t the first time someone went down on you, but never before had it felt so intense to you.

He pinned your hips down to the bed with one arm and his tongue was devouring you like it was the last thing he would do. The sounds you were making only made him go harder. Then you felt how he added a finger inside of you, quickly followed by another.

“Oh my-… Fuck, Noah.” You gasped and you felt the vibrations of his laugh against your core. You felt a knot building inside of you and you tried to concentrate on anything that would help you not to come instantly.

“I can feel that you’re close.” He mumbled against you and flicked his tongue over your clit while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

You nodded, unable to form clear words without moaning them.

“I know, you can go longer than that, Y/n.” He hummed against you, and you felt like you were going insane.

“God, please.” You cried out, fearing you couldn’t hold it any longer.

His mouth and fingers felt so good, you were sure you couldn’t help yourself much longer. You felt your orgasm built up and then-… He stopped. He pulled away from you, his fingers out of your pussy and you whined at the loss of contact.

He grabbed your face with the hand that had been inside of you just seconds before and looked you in the eyes. “When you come tonight, it’s gonna be on my cock.”

“You know, it’s kind of unfair that I’m laying here completely naked while you’re fully clothed.” You breathed out with a small smile on your face.

“Oh, yeah?” He laughed against your lips before climbing of the bed to get out of his clothes. His eyes never left yours and yours never left his.

He was in nothing but his underwear, his cock hard underneath them and you bit your lip as his hands hooked under the waistband and he slowly slit them off. Your eyes slowly widened at the sight of his member, and you suddenly realized that all of this was real. He looked so perfect. All of him.

“You still okay?” He asked as he crawled back to you.

“Yes.” You breathed out when he was on top of you again. He leaned down to kiss you. You could feel him against your core, his cock moving between your folds as if he belonged there.

“Noah, please.” You moaned out and let your hands roam over his back.

“Yes?” He teased you and rocked his hips once more.

“Don’t be such a tease.” You whined and dragged your fingernails over his back. He let out a soft moan.

“Tell me what you want, Y/n.” Noah exclaimed, and you whined, before rolling your eyes.

“Do that again and I’ll make you regret it.” He breathed out.

“Oh, I’m so scared.” You answered him in a mocking tone and he instantly gave his words truth.

For the second time something snapped inside of him. You let out a small yelp as he flipped you over in a swift motion, your chest hitting the mattress. He grabbed your hips with such force, you were sure he would leave bruises.

“You still wanna continue to be a brat?” He asked you in an almost dangerous tone and you shook your head.

“Fuck, you’re dripping.” He almost moaned and you felt this cock against your ass. He positioned himself behind you, his tip teasing your entrance. His hands wandered over your hips softly and you felt a kiss against your neck. “We can stop anytime.”

“Please, don’t stop.” You breathed out. After that he slowly slid into you, your mouth open in a silent moan as he bottomed out.

“Is that alright?” He asked with a soft tone as you tried to get used to the feeling of him inside of you.

“Yes, everything is perfect.” You moaned out.

When he started to move, you thought you were going to die. In a good way. In a way that made you decide right there and then that when your time has come, this was how you wanted it to end.

“Oh, my f-… Noah.” You whispered out and gripped the sheets beneath you.

His right hand slowly reached to the front of your body and found your clit. He swiftly circled it while rocking into you.

His head was buried in your neck and the room was filled with moans and pants and curse words that were almost illegal to speak out.

“Shit, Y/N.” He whined into your neck. “You feel so good.” His thrust became faster and you were almost certain the bed was going to break if he kept that pace. But you were too far gone to care. You felt that knot in your stomach again and you knew this time you couldn’t contain yourself.

“Come on. Come for me, sweetheart.” He whispered against the back of your head, and you screamed. You screamed load enough that you were sure Jolly in the room underneath to you would hear.

He fucked you through it, his pace only slowing down moments later, right before he pulled out and you felt hot liquid painting your back.

You let yourself fall onto the pillow and he soon collapsed next to you. You turned to face him and could help but smile at him. He reached out to brush a strand of hair out of your face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m in desperate need of a shower and I don’t even wanna talk about the lack of sleep we’ll have tomorrow.” You answered him and giggle for a second that caused him to smile.

“It was worth it.” He mumbled before leaning in again.

“Yes… yes it was.” Your lips met in a soft kiss and for a second everything inside of you began to tingle. You knew this was a new chapter for the both of you and that this was only the beginning.

“Let’s shower.” He mumbled before getting up and reaching out to help you up. He slung his arms around you for a second. “Maybe you can tell me about those fanfictions while showering.”

Your eyes widened for a second, before you made your way to the bathroom, followed by a laughing Noah.

“I’ll keep that to myself.” You answered him, before closing the bathroom door behind the two of you.

dividers by @saradika-graphics