#the problem with using humour to cope is some days there are no jokes except you

[victoryroaddays]

I don't often linger too much on my own sexuality but idk sad hours right now. Sometimes I wonder if being a bisexual leaning towards men is like because I'll never be able to date a woman publicly or marry her that maybe leaning towards men is the safest answer. I'm not a dating person but today I just feel struck by grief that I just don't have the choice and that at best it'll be a situation where everyone knows something is up but no one says it but it won't be celebrated like a straight presenting relationship. Even the relatives who love me won't love me as much.

[kpopandcream]

Moon Day - II

Pairing: Dongmin x Reader & Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour.

Warnings: Strong language, Implied smut, some dark themes.

Jungkook told you about Min Yoongi many times. How he didn’t take to strangers. How he preferred to stay unknown. How he thrived in the underbelly of society where he could do what he wanted without anyone caring. Yet, after many short talks about him, all of that information still seemed to land on deaf ears. You couldn’t remember a single thing about him except for his name, which landed you in a puddle full of milk and under a confused stare.

Word Count: 7k

Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Masterlist

Namjoon was blubbering on about god knows what and you didn’t particularly mind it. Sometimes, he’d ask a general question which Yoongi would give a one or two-word response to just to placate him. You, on the other hand, would instigate some of his babbles, catching Yoongi’s eye whenever you expected him to be annoyed but, under his serious demeanor, you watched for the small smiles and exhales of laughter.

To your surprise, Namjoon wasn’t that heavy and you managed to keep your strength for most of the way. He lived a few blocks past you, which was weird because you could’ve sworn Jungkook said you were the only person he knew who lived in this area. He called it ‘expensive’ and didn’t understand how a student could live here but, if that were the case then, just how old was Namjoon? This piqued your interest and you made a mental note to ask Kook about it later.

Joon (he said he preferred when people called him that) quieted down then, head lolling and you could feel the energy sapping from him slowly. Yoongi didn’t seem panicked, as if he’d done it all the time, but you were damn tired. The warmth of your house was the only thing on your mind, your brain tired of thinking and eyes tired of watching.

“We’re close?” You phrased the claim as a question, taking advantage of the small beat of silence.

“We’re here.”

Yoongi sounded strained and you lowered your head to see under Namjoon’s chin to see him struggling with keys in his pocket. The three of you had stopped in front of a thin, black building with long windows and large doors. Yoongi motioned you forward and you leaned the half-awake man against the wall of the building. He raised his arm, waving a hand and half mumbling something you didn’t bother to pay attention to. You simply watched his movements, making sure he’d keep himself upright and waited for Yoongi to unlock the lobby door.

The jangling of keys and occasional car passing by filled your ears with temporary noise but you hated it. You wanted music, so you hummed to keep yourself busy. Somehow, the two of you got Namjoon safely inside and in the elevator. The man clung to you, professing his love by saying how grateful he was to have friends like you there for him.

“You bet your ass you are,” Yoongi responded for the first time in a sentence longer than three words since you’d been together and you were shocked when he continued, “Jackson wouldn’t do this for you.”

“Hey!” Namjoon exclaimed loudly, earning a light shush out of you and a small apology before continuing his very intense assault on Yoongi. He extended a finger and wagged it as menacingly as he could at his friend, eyebrows scrunched together as if they were a puzzle needing to be solved and mouth curled into a frown.

“That’s… mean.”

You smiled at this, getting out first on the sixteenth floor while continuing your humming. There was no more speaking until Namjoon was in his bed. You stayed in the front of the unlocked apartment, choosing to focus on how clean everything was instead of the fact that you’d basically let two men, stronger than you, lead you into one of their houses. The faint alarms that would’ve gone off much sooner if you hadn’t been this tired started sounding and you secretly wondered if they were going to abduct you or something, but chose to believe in Jungkook’s friends. He wasn’t the worst so his friends had the be the same level of okay.

You waited for Yoongi to messily lay Namjoon down, shuffling your feet to the beat of the song in your head. The man dropped water off in his friend’s room before shutting the door and facing you.

“Was that Nas?”

You blinked. “What?”

“The song you were singing- uh, humming. Was it Nas?”

He walked out of the apartment and you followed, half wanting to ask if Namjoon would be okay alone but your brain was confused from the random start in conversation and you dismissed the question. He locked the door and walked to the elevator, not looking to see if you were coming but obviously expecting a response.

“H- How did you know?”

He shrugged, pocketing his keys and pressing the button for the elevator multiple times, as if that was supposed to make it come faster. “He’s one of my favourite artists and that’s one of my favourite songs. I’d know it anywhere.”

“Really?” The ends of your lips picked up and you couldn’t deny you were excited to meet another fan of the same music as you. He nodded, seemingly detached from the conversation and you hesitated in continuing. Slowly though, you managed to push forward and not let your fear get the best of you. You searched for his eyes as you spoke, trying not to look away when they landed on yours.

“That’s so cool. I’ve never met anyone who likes the same Nas, much less old school rap or anything that I listen to really.”

His eyebrows raised slightly to show a bit of surprise at you, walking into the elevator and taking his gaze from yours. He fixed it on the ceiling of the elevator after he hit the ground floor button and muttered, “who have you been talking to?”

“Scrubs,” you chimed, and this, he cracked a smile at.

You spent the elevator down in a stale silence, you shifting your weight back and forth and looking at the floor. Only when you got to the ground floor did he say something in response- well, kind of.

“Thank you.”

“Sorry?”

He held the lobby door open for you to leave the building. “I said thank you. I’ve been doing that for days straight now and I’m beyond tired so, thank you. It was… nice to have some help.”

You disregarded his acknowledgement of your help and attached yourself to another part of his small speech.

“For days? Is he okay?” You placed worry on your face, bowing your head as a small thank you for holding the door open for you and then walking a few paces outside the building. You inhaled slowly, taking in the late summer air.

Yoongi pressed his lips together, as if he was trying to find a way to backtrack so he could erase what he’d said. He waved a hand around lightly, settling on, “just break-up coping, I guess.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” you found yourself saying immediately. He gave you a curious look and you felt the need to reiterate what you said. You rambled, faster than you meant to.

“Sorry to him, you know, because he’s going through a break-up and everything. Not to you because you’re not like going through the- actually no, sorry for you too because you’re tired and have to deal with that and you must have your own problems. Yeah. Sorry. That was confusing, wasn’t it?”

You forced out an awkward giggle, hand coming up to tug lightly at a clump of hair coming out of your bun. He smiled again, and you found it quite endearing.

“You say sorry too much.”

“No, I don’, I’m just trying to be polite because you just met me,” you retorted, finding an odd offense in that statement. He simply nodded.

“Meaning you’re not nice to people you’re close to?” He was instigating you and you knew it, and a small fire in you kindled. It was like he was challenging you and you loved a challenge. He remained the same half-annoyed, half-amused look the entire time as well and you felt him egg you on with just a stare.

“Is anyone? You can be meaner to the people you’re closer to because they know it’s a joke.”

“That seems backwards to me,” he deadpanned, looking you square in the eye. You opened your mouth to respond, wanting to ask if he acted any different to other people or the people he was closest to but he seemed to steal your words and rearrange them to make a completely different sentence.

“Do you need a ride home or something?”

You blinked again, struggling to find words and nearly hating how often he’d caught you off guard and made you look like a fool. You said no before you could think.

“I live just down the road,” you stated, using your thumb to point behind you. “Why do you ask?”

He struggled to come up with a response to that as well, drawing out a low ‘uh’ before stringing together a sentence. “Just don’t want to leave a girl stranded on the streets so late. It goes against the moral code I should have.”

“Should?”

Yoongi shrugged once more, easily thinking on his feet. That was something you weren’t too good at yourself and you found yourself admiring that about him. He fit his hands into the pockets of his thin, leather jacket and said, “mom raised me with the right values but I must’ve lost them somewhere along the way.”

“Ah,” you hummed, choosing not to say ‘mood’ to something for once. You shuffled your feet a bit, mulling over his response before deciding to continue on.

“I’m, uh, I’m okay though, honestly. I know my way around town well enough so.”

You nodded, more so trying to convince yourself than him. He simply looked at you for a bit longer than usual and then tore his gaze away, angling his head backwards.

With a thin smile, he rushed through his sentence. “Well, thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem.” You pushed a tired smile on your face and he seemed somehow comforted by it, the muscles in his jaw visibly relaxing.

Turning to leave, he waved a small goodbye and you felt a bit disappointed to see him go. You raised your hand as well and turned in your spot, biting down on your bottom lip. You shouldn’t have been thinking about ways to get him to stay and talk but you were. There was a settled tug in his direction that pulled you from your stomach, the little words left unsaid and questions unanswered stretching themselves thin between you.

You hated this feeling but continued away for a few steps. It wasn’t until the tapping of shoes against pavement and a hand lying on your shoulder stopped you. Your heart seemed to pick up, always doing that when you were the slightest bit surprised by what was happening and you moved away from the hand, turning to see who it was.

You were faced with Yoongi again, his lips parted as he breathed and eyes a little wider than previously. He didn’t bother to make an excuse or apologize for frightening you in the slightest, just simply went in for his question.

“I forgot to ask you. Uh- could- could you not tell Jungkook we met?”

You paused, confused even more than before and pulling out a small, “why?”

He dismissed this quickly, which wasn’t a surprise to you really, simply waving his hand and looking mildly distressed to have to explain it. “It’s a long story, just… promise?”

He stuck out his pinky finger and you hesitated, making a face. Your mind reeled, and you felt like you were choosing between a friend and someone you hardly knew and didn’t know whose side to take. He pushed his finger the slightest bit closer to you and you stumbled for words.

“But you need to tell me why at least one day,” you spluttered, looking him in the eye. There was odd desperation there and you didn’t know how to feel about it.

Quickly, he sighed, “yeah, sure, yes. Just- just, please, promise.”

You locked fingers with him, mumbling, “fine, I promise. You’re really odd.”

He pulled his finger away from yours, seemingly reassured and with the first large grin of his you’d seen that night.

“I know.”

Soojin sat down beside you, sighing deeply as she sunk into the chair. She had a large coffee firmly place in her hand a grim expression on her face. You glanced at her briefly before returning to your chemistry calculations.

“What is it?” you asked lowly, knowing you weren’t going to end up finishing your work before going home at that point. If there was someone else around you, you felt the need to talk, especially when it was someone you enjoyed spending time with. You’d stopped in the middle of your equation but kept your eyes on the paper to make it seem like you had the intention of doing something.

“School,” she responded quietly, waving a hand around tiredly and narrowing her eyes as she spoke, “it’s so…. You know?”

You chuckled, letting your thoughts click so you could finish what you were writing before putting down your notebook.

“You’re overthinking, Soojin. It’s literally only been a few days since the semester started.”

“Exactly? I’m already exhausted, how am I supposed to last until the end of the year?”

“Last until reading week. That’s all the matters,” Sehun grumbled, looking half-asleep himself. There were deep circles under his eyes and his hair wasn’t styled like usual, his hand running through the growing strands that fell just over his eyebrows. He’d walked into your usual study area with his own coffee cup and you had to resist a laugh as he stumbled into a chair of his own, settling with another groan.

Soojin stuck her hand out in his direction pointedly, turning her head to face yours completely. You were completely unfazed as she spoke. “See? Sehun agrees-”

“He always agrees with you,” you interrupted, but she went on as if she didn’t even hear you.

“- so we should all just drop out and create a band and get famous or something.”

Sehun lifted his cup in agreement, both of them choosing to ignore that you’d pointed out their unspoken alliance, then downed what was left in his cup. You simply hummed, thinking of what to say as you stuffed your books into your much too small backpack. When you’d placed yours words together well enough, you decided to speak.

“You’re almost finished your undergraduate and quite possibly university forever, Soojin. You should stop being so upset- unless the real reason you are upset is because you don’t want to leave.”

She blinked at you then simply took a sip of her coffee. Once again, choosing to ignore what you were pointing out, she relatively changed the subject. “Five years has been too long.”

Sehun snorted, fiddling with his empty cup and keeping his gaze on that. He wore all black today, with cut-off sleeves for his shirt and rips in his jeans that his other hand picked at. “That’s what you get for choosing to do a joint teacher’s college and science major.”

Soojin pitched her voice up higher than usual and repeated what he said with an unpleasant mockery of his face on hers. He copied her, wiggling his head back and forth, drawing a hiss from her. You hid your smile, knowing if they saw it, they’d feel pressured to continue and you didn’t want to hear their half-hearted bickering all night. You leaned forward, snapping your fingers between their faces and asked them to stop because you had a headache.

“She started it.”

You couldn’t figure out what to say without chuckling lightly. “So be a grown up and end it, Sehun.”

“Fine, mom,” he grumbled, leaning back in his seat again. He averted his gaze to the students filtering by and Soojin turned her attention to a message on her phone you couldn’t see. You debated taking out your work again, noticing the beat of silence and hoping maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t have to stay up tonight after everyone left.

There was no such luck.

“I can’t believe we’re graduating,” Soojin murmured, pulling in her bottom lip as she picked at the lip of her coffee cup. “It feels so weird, like we’re going to really have to grow up. Less scary than leaving high school but still... still terrifying.”

Sehun hummed lowly in response before riling up his arm. You followed his gaze, hating and loving how little of an attention span he had as you spotted the garbage can about ten paces behind you.

“Watch this,” he said, the slightest bit focused as he narrowed his eyes and tossed his cup. You did as he said, following its journey through the air and watching it hit the wall just above the garbage can. It bounced in and you let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding. He clapped his hands loudly then raised his arms in triumph with a large and silly grin on his lips.

You looked at him mildly in admiration for being so oddly carefree. Soojin, however, was not as impressed.

“Correction,” she said swiftly, raising a finger with a perfectly painted finger nail painted red, “I can’t believe he’s graduating.”

He simply narrowed his eyes and hissed, causing the two of you to hiss back before Soojin turned to you to change the topic once again.

“Where’s Dongmin?” she asked as she fiddled with her phone case, pressing in on the softer parts of it. You checked your phone, which you hadn’t done since your last conversation with him and hoped to see a text but were faced with nothing. A shrug came through your spine.

“He said something about being late and that he’d meet us at my place.”

Sehun frowned before mentioning, “didn’t he say he had that placement interview today?”

You simply nodded, resisting the urge to check your phone once more because it was always in vain. “It was this morning. He hasn’t told me how it went.”

Soojin placed her hand on your shoulder, rubbing in circles just how your brother taught her to do when she asked how nurses comfort their patients. Her eyes met with yours, free of contacts and returned to the deep brown you found a home in so many years ago when you’d first met.

“He’ll be okay. It probably went okay. You know how he is, he’s always the hardest on himself. I’m sure he did well. Don’t worry too much,” she attempted to reassure you. You pushed a smile for her sake, looking to Sehun who nodded.

He nearly added but receive a phone call and raised his finger to put the conversation on hold. Turning his head, he spoke under his breath almost as Soojin made you look at her again.

“Hey,” she murmured, gently, always knowing when her words reached your ears and when they didn’t. “Really, it’ll be fine. It’s only one out of the four major auditions he’s landed. One mistake he thinks he made won’t be so bad. He’s really a great actor. You know it, I know it, he knows it. Relax, okay?”

You removed her hand from your face, groaning, “Soo, that’s not it. Today was the company he’s wanted to go to for nearly all his life. I’m scared for him. He’ll be crushed if he doesn’t get in and, you’re right, I know how he is which is why I can’t tell you he did well because he cracks under intense pressure. Sure, he’s a great actor but sometimes he can’t hide that.”

She blinked, a somewhat solemn look on her face before she pressed her forehead to yours and hummed, “I know. I’m scared too but… just talk to him tonight, okay? And stop checking your phone, it’ll only freak you out more.”

You smiled lightly at that, saying an okay but not necessarily agreeing to stop checking your phone. Sehun interrupted then, turning your attention to his phone which was pulled far from his mouth.

“Jungkook said he’ll drive us to yours if you guys pay for his lunch.”

Soojin and you glanced at each other warily before agreeing. Thinking about taking the public transit was enough to put you in a fouler mood so you’d okay anything at this point. Sehun gave us the details of where you’d have to be in about ten minutes, so you started to collect all your things and placing them in your bag. Soojin copied you, letting Sehun walk out first as he was still on the phone with Jungkook. He was always so quiet when they spoke on the phone, it was like they were a part of a secret cult no one knew of. Not that you ever bothered to really ask.

Soojin strung her arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to her and she perched a fair smile on her lips. You noticed the smudging of her red lipstick from the coffee cup and told her about it quietly. She didn’t really seem to care, however, simply half-heartedly rubbing at it.

“You okay?” you asked, noticing the far off look in her eyes as you started your way to the front doors and she snapped back into reality.

“Hmm? Yeah, I guess. Just tired.”

“Sure,” you hummed, watching her correct her gaze to fit the filtering students and the blush spread on her cheeks with a coy smile.

Dongmin had his head leaned against your knees, a drink in his hand and a frown on his lips. Your suspicions were right and he was beating himself up over  small mishap in his lines. He forgot a part so he ad-libbed until he found the spot he remembered and continued on. To you, it sounded professional. To him, it was a detrimental mistake. You'd been on your balcony for a while, sitting on the floor of it. He had a lump in his throat and you couldn't think of anything to do other than hug him. He held you tighter than usual and you squealed for a moment, not expecting it. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He quickly loosened his grip, keeping you at arms length. You sighed. "No," you mumbled before placing yourself back in his arms. He didn't say anything for a while, just standing on your balcony with his back pressed against the railing. You kept your head on his chest, eyes closed but mind racing at a million miles a second. It was hard in moments like this to forget your own will. The smell of his cologne filled your nose and the way his clothes brushed your skin distracted you and the way his fingers always found the most sensitive parts of your skin made it worse. It was ridiculous, to sit there and assume he felt this strongly about you- that he wanted what you wanted from him, but you couldn't help yourself. The faint sound of his heart beating and the way he ran his hand through the ends of your hair made your brain cloudy. It filled with thoughts of possibilities and what-ifs and maybes and you hated it. Sometimes, you hated him for making you feel that way; but then he detached himself from you and mumbled something about needing a drink and awkwardly laughed and that also went away. Everything eased in his presence like it did when you were wrapped in the warmest blanket or when you were just waking up from getting enough sleep. Something about him reminded you of home and the way he pulled away and walked inside bothered you. "You coming?" He had his hand on the doorknob, head leaning inwards and a calm smile on his face. You shook your head, leaning against the railing with arms crossed, taking his place. "In a bit." He pressed his lips together before nodding and entering your house again. You were alone for a while, left to process for a moment before realizing you had to at least attempt to host for your friends. With a shaky hand through the top of your hair, you moved some of it and exhaled slowly. The way your thoughts moved without him was clear and there was sense but too much to process. Too much to see or pay attention to and listen to. Too much to understand and so little left in you to understand. With a shallow breath in, you went inside as well and faced your friends with a smile. Now, however, he had his head leaning against your knees. His smile was radiant and loose, laughing robustly at something stupid Jungkook said. One hand created a small shelter around a tall beer can and the other cupped your ankle. It was almost as if he was subconsciously keeping you beside him because you knew for sure your legs weren't that comfortable but he wanted them to be. You couldn't help but drift in and out of the conversation, paying attention to bits and pieces but never a full sentence or thought. Ahro was lying down beside you, curled almost into a ball and everyone else was scattered amongst the floor and other sofas as if they owned the place. You didn't particularly mind. You wished they owned your house with you, thinking it would make you feel less alone. "No, no, shhhhh," Soojin hushed lowly, laughing for a beat before shaking her head and clearing her throat of it. "No, seriously, listen. It's an important dream, I promise, it's funny." "Oh my god, just say it already," Sehun grumbled and you somehow decided to pay attention here. He took another sip of his drink, swirling his glass cup as if he was a classy, upscale man in a suit. It was relatively ridiculous to see. Ahro hummed a yes in response as she shuffled her fingers throughout Jungkook's hair, the tips of which were newly dyed pink. With a small grin, Soojin complied and hushed everyone again, pulling up a proper chair and straddling it. Dongmin leaned his head up to look at you, cheeks slightly pink and eyes brighter than sunshine. You couldn't help but find a grin on your lips, which he returned. "Okay! Okay, quiet down everyone, I'm about to start." Soojin shushed everyone again, waving her hands for everyone to lower their volume. This eventually got Jungkook and Ahro to stop their side conversation and pay attention and Soojin hummed happily in response. "Okay. Okay yes, OKAY. Okay. So this is how it started-" And from then on, she explained a large and complicated dream about her being in an all-boys school and how she had to hide the fact that she was a girl to survive. Somehow it turned into an alien story and how she was kneeling in front of a star ship before she woke up in a jolt. "I swear I Astral projected into another parallel universe though, it was- it was so amazing? And so real?" She attempted to explain but everything sounded far off and questionable. You cracked a smile at this, not knowing what to say. "Haven't you Astral projected before?" Ahro instigated, placing a pink finger nail on her chin as she did so, which led Soojin into another large story. She waved her hands around as she did so, making Jungkook crack up and Sehun's sturdy demeanor break with larger than life laughs. Dongmin tugged a little on your pant leg and you leaned down to hear him whisper, "how are we friends with them?" "This is your doing," you responded with a chuckle, catching his unbearably large smile as you spoke, "you introduced me to them." "Actually, Soojin's been your friend since grade school," he corrected, pulling away slightly to look you dead in the eye. You nearly retorted but Soojin huffed, "will you two stop interrupting me? You're ruining the story." "Yeah," Ahro drew out, making a suggestive face at you. You stuck out your tongue at her as Dongmin apologized lightheartedly to Soojin. She simply waved it off, taking a small sip of her drink before continuing. "We have to remember I was a child here but it was so cool. Everything was like this mystical blue colour and the lakes glistened in this way that almost made it look fake. It was so real to the point that it felt fake." You stopped pretending to care, looking at everyone's faces as they reacted. Beside you, Ahro had never looked so peaceful. She'd been the youngest of you all but always the most stressed. Anything could set her off if you breathed in the wrong direction but tonight she seemed better. Lighter. You were happy for it, looking at her watch Soojin with a ridiculously softened push upwards from her lips. Jungkook was wide awake, eating food and throwing in jabs as always. He threw a piece of popcorn at her, muttering, "Soojin, stop telling lies, Santa doesn't like liars." She paused, confused, but the others laughed and you couldn't help but play along. There was a kindness in his voice, one you hadn't heard in a while and you were pleased at its reappearance. Soojin and Sehun were building off each other, letting the others talk but furthering their jokes and stories into grandiose works of art. They were mostly being ridiculous but it was amazing because Soojin only let her guard down so many times. It was nice to see her be comfortably herself around people she wasn't completely close with but still at peace with. She was a rocky creature, one who didn't play by the rules but you supposed that's why she got along so well with Sehun. They both were the definition of what they called 'edgelords' but they were fun when they didn't put up a front. The sound of the front door sliding open shushed you all and you leaned your head to at least attempt to see your brother walking in. A wall blocked your view but you still called a hello and Seokjin said one back. His head popped into the living room, waving a hand and pushing a smile. There were deep circles under his eyes and you couldn't help but frown as he shuffled around in the front. Dongmin's hand fell from your leg as you walked to your brother, mildly worried. The chatter behind you continued quietly but you could tell they were also unsteady. "You okay?" you asked quietly as you entered your small foyer that led to the bedrooms. Seokjin had hung up his jacket and was pushing off his shoes as he responded. "Just tired. Had to work a double today," he murmured, steadying himself with one hand against the wall. You nodded, not knowing what to say. You pressed your lips together, crossing your legs as you stood and clasping your hands together shyly. "Want me to ask them to go home?" you managed, thinking of it as you picked at your nails and made direct eye contact with him. He wouldn't say yes, he wasn't the type but you were going to ask anyways- and kick them out anyways. He kissed his teeth, shaking his head before ruffling your hair as he walked past you into the living room. His slippers made a small sound against the floor as he walked to get himself a drink of water. Your friends spoke to Seokjin as if he was one of their own and it was nice to see how they got along. You wondered if they saw his expression as he leaned against the wall with a glass of water in his hand and a tired smile or if they cared. No one really seemed to confirm that suspicion until Ahro exaggerated her yawn and sat up in her spot. "I know it's dumb to say this but I'm dead tired," she interrupted, cutting Soojin off in the middle of her sentence. Soo almost made a comment about it but you stole her spot. "Me too. It's only eleven but I feel like I haven't slept for years." "Tell me about it," Seokjin drawled, cracking a smile before lifting up his drink and downing the rest of the water. With that, he retreated to his room and said a small goodnight and you figured maybe they'd all get the hint. "Sleepover party?" Dongmin suggested, catching your eye and you snorted. "You can sleep outside." You returned to the living room, fixing up a blanket that was strewn across the floor and half-watching everyone clean up their mess. Jungkook retreated to the bathroom, telling Sehun he'd only be a minute and hurrying away. Dongmin grasped your attention again, hitting your heel with his own, asking you to move so he could grab what was under the sofa. You moved as he responded with a light, "nothing I'm not already used to." You held back your smile as he referenced a night you two couldn't find your way to your apartment and ended up sleeping outside on a bench. You'd both woken up with stiff necks and about a million missed calls when you charged your phones once again but it was a nice memory, one that you would think about when you felt lower than usual. "Shut up, you complained the whole time walking home," you continued, not wanting to let the conversation die. He blinked, taken aback as he stood up with nearly 4 cans of assorted drinks in his hands. He pointed inwards, making a shocked face as he said incredulously, "me? you were the one that asked me to carry you up the stairs." He began to walk away as you laughed, shocked he remembered that. You threw down the blanket over the end of your sofa and followed him to the kitchen, throwing your response back at him. "Imagine walking nearly three kilometers in six inch heels and then tell me you wouldn't ask to get carried up stairs!" He raised a spare finger up at you, foot pressing on the peddle to the garbage can to open the top as he said, "I never said you didn't have the right to complain, just that you did it just as much as I did." You simply mocked his way of speaking and scrunched up your nose, placing your hands on your hips as you did so. He chuckled at you, brushing much too close to you to get past you and the forming smile on your lips disappeared in the wake of his cologne. You placed your gaze on the floor for a moment, blinking before composing yourself again. You couldn't let all these dumb encounters mean anything special. It would only cause you pain and you knew it. Leading yourself on was the worst thing you could do. This emotion seemed to intensify in your chest as you thought more about it and something itched at the back of your mind. You nearly remembered something but there was something blocking it, like a word being on the tip of your tongue and your brain not working fast enough to think of it. It hurt your head so you scrunched up your eyebrows and shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the feeling while simultaneously hoping no one saw you. You'd been having this problem for a while, where feelings would surge under your skin but you couldn't place why or how and it hurt to think about it for too long; hurt in the sense that you got madder and madder the more you couldn't think of what you wanted so you'd have to drop it. You tried speaking to Seokjin about it but he called it normal and said the memory or feeling would come back and make more sense eventually. You'd never gotten to that point and you didn't want to tell him that. For some irrational reason, you felt he'd judge you and that was something you never wanted in your life. You didn't want him to think less of you because it was hard to have the person you valued most think you were of less value. It would hurt more than you could bear so you never tries to speak about it more, hoping it would go away by itself. "You okay?" Soojin's voice ripped you out of your thoughts, eyes meeting yours with worry. She had to dip her head down to meet you at eye level, always being just the slightest bit taller than you and making fun of you for it your entire life. You nodded, raising your hand to rub at some of her smuged lipstick with your thumb. She let you. "Just tired, like I said." She searched your eyes, not knowing what was wrong but sensing something. You wished she wasn't like that. She knit her eyebrows together very slowly and you watched the way the skin on her face was pulled downwards by her sudden frown. With a small movement, she gave you a comfortable hug and you found yourself grateful for it. "Talk to me if something's wrong, okay? That's what I'm here for." Her voice was soft and she was obviously trying not to make it obvious you weren't feeling that great. You simply nodded, grasping her tighter and she reciprocated it. No matter how hot and cold she was, Soojin was always there for you, that was something you couldn't deny. It overwhelmed you to have at least one friend you felt would never betray or deny you. "Let's roll out," Jungkook called, and you opened your eyes to see him waving a small hand around. Sehun was already at the front door, slipping on his shoes as Soojin let go of you. "Call me tonight or something?" Her shoulder raised as you walked with her to the front door. "Y-yeah, I'll talk to you about Dongmin and stuff," you affirmed, snaking your arm around her waist and she smiled. "You know me so well, y/n. Only here to support if I get gossip in exchange." Her hand fell on top of your head and you snorted, shaking it off. "It's not gossip if he told me to tell you about it." She kissed her teeth, rolling her eyes slipping on her sneakers as the other converged in the foyer, speaking amongst themselves. Dongmin was nowhere to be found but that didn't quite worry you. He never left or came on time so you didn't wait for him to say goodbye to everyone else. "See you in hell tomorrow," Sehun grumbled, giving you a tighter hug than usual and you found yourself comforted. "So exciting," you hissed before saying your goodbyes to Ahro and Jungkook. They both gave you hugs, getting silent. They either said nothing when they were together or were full of snippy comments and there was no in between. You were quite happy to see them be silent, noticing they got along better when they were like this. "Want to get lunch tomorrow?" Ahro suggested as she pulled away from your hug. "I'd love to," Jungkook interrupted, still eating his stupid popcorn and grinning, "what time?" "As if I'd ever be caught dead with just you in public," she snipped back, shouldering her thin jacket and you exhaled lightly. Placing a hand on Jungkook's shoulder you shook your head. "That's gotta sting." He shrugged, humming a small, "I'm used to it. I'll just get her back another time." "You can try," she sang, closing her eyes as she unlocked your door and opened it. She waved goodbye, not waiting for you to say a yes to her offer for lunch and leaving. You waved as well, letting the four of them filter out of your house one by one. Soojin gave you one final smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead and telling you to text her. You waved her away and closed your door with a small smile as Dongmin appeared. He looked a bit shocked they'd all left without him, eyes just slightly wider than usual. However, being faced with you seemed to comfort him just slightly. "Assholes," he huffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "I can't believe they left me again." "Well, if you take forever," you trailed off, quirking up an eyebrow but he simply gave you a winning smile and pushed lightly against your shoulder with his index finger. "I don't take forever, everyone's just taking too little time." You nodded, pretending to agree and he knew it. "Sure." He narrowed his eyes at this, taking a few steps towards you to close the distance. He was taller than you and he could easily have you caged against the wall if he wanted to but he stopped before your feet hit your closed door. He simply looked at you and there was something in his eyes that somehow conflicted. They darted between both of yours, unsure and you felt how shallow your breath threatened to get. Before he had a chance to say anything, you stammered out a question.

“Do you want me to walk you down?”

He blinked, nodding slowly. “S- sure.”

A/N: lmao yikes this is really long but it’s to make up for how far away this update was from my first post. I hope you guys enjoyed it though and that you’ll continue to read! I think the Astro fans might like the next update a little more? Thank you for reading though, honestly, and any feedback is greatly appreciated so leave me a question in my askbox if you have one. If not, have a great holiday break and I’ll see you guys with the next one :)

[jestbee]

Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Twelve)

[mysticdrabbles]

hiya! if its not a bother, can you please do headcanons on how the rfa(plus saeran and v bc i adore them) helps mc out of a really bad slump. i've been out of it lately and it would really help, thanks!

Oh man, I feel you buddy. I’m sorry this is so late. I reeeeally feel you lolol ^^;;

Zen:

You have never been pampered like this boy will pamper you

Two words: Spa day.

Whether that means going to an actual spa together or sitting at home and letting him pamper you himself is up to you. He’s fine with either option.

Spa day, makeup day, hairstyle day, he can and will do it all for you.

After all, how can you be upset if you’re busy feeling beautiful?

The fact is that you’re always beautiful of course, but he understands if you’re not feeling it. And even if you are, it never hurts to pile more beauty on.

He’ll do your face, your nails, your hair, you’ll look like a mythical deity when he’s done with you.

Or, you know, exactly like you but with colorful eyes and nails.

He’ll let you paint his nails too, if it makes you feel better. 

You can braid each other’s hair~

Once you’re all beauty-ed out, he’ll offer to take you on a scenic ride on his motorcycle too (as long as you wear all the proper protective equipment)

(Safety first)

Or he’ll take you on a relaxing walk around the city, maybe even on a picnic.

You’re not sure how but Zen knows all the best spots

Of course, your outing will take you through at least some crowded areas. Nothing boosts your confidence like having people halt to a stop to stare at you with awed eyes and slack jaws.

When you finally get home you’ll definitely get some massages from Zen.

He looked up a how to video online

You two sit together on the couch while he puts on whatever you want to watch

(Preferrably something he can sing along to. Bonus if you’ll sing with him~ <3)

And you can plop whatever body part is most in need of de-stressing right into his waiting hands

Take that as PG or R as you’d like

Yoosung:

Oh boy. He gets it.

You’re talking to a depressed university student here, he totally understands what it’s like to be in a slump. 

He decides that you need to take your mind off things for a little while.

And the best way to do that? Video game day!

It’s the closest a poor university student can get to taking a vacation hahaha

On our menu today we have a light appetizer of some Mario Party, followed by your choice of Mario Kart or Super Smash Bros depending on what you want him to kick your ass in

Honestly he’ll play whatever game you want. He’ll probably even try and go easy on you.

Key word: try. He may or may not be a little bit competitive. He’ll do it for you though.

Unless you notice and are offended. Then he’ll stop.

He just wants you to have fun. 

He’ll even let you be player one in all the games, because you’re player one in his heart E>

Yoosung stop that’s cheesy

Once you’re all gamed out and refreshed he’ll hold you and play with your hair

And he tells you that he knows you can do anything you put your mind to 

So don’t worry

This’ll pass

And he’ll be by your side through all the ups and downs to support and encourage you

He’ll make you dinner too, to energize and refresh you with his love. Every night. Whatever you want. Pick your favourite food, he can look up a recipe for it if he doesn’t know how to make it.

He’ll let you help if you want. Cooking together is a great mood fix!

He’ll even find a way to arrange your food in smiley faces and decorate it with hearts to try and cheer you up because he’s a dork like that

Jaehee:

This woman lived in a permanent slump for years when she worked at C&R.

A slump formed of endless exhaustion and over-exertion 

And yet even when she’s at her absolute worst she’s still the hardest worker you know

So obviously she’s the best one to go to for this.

Step One: Coffee.

(Most of Jaehee’s plans start with coffee, to be honest.)

She’ll use all the fancy tricks she’s learned from running her coffee shop to make you the perfect cup of coffee.

Some days she’ll change it up and make you a latte instead

Because she’s been practicing latte art

And how can you not feel energized after being presented with such beautiful art? 

Especially beautiful art that’s filled with caffeine?

She also has a ton of little tips and tricks on how to make it through the day when all you want to do is scream into a pillow and go to bed

One of them happens to be scream into a pillow when you first wake up. Let all the frustration out so you don’t end up snapping and blowing up right in the face of your rich ass slave driver of a–

…Jaehee are you okay?

Ahem. As she was saying, stress release is very important.

She’s also an advocate for exercise as a form of stress relief. 

She invites you to go for a run with her (she won’t even invite Zen to come along unless you request it, which is super flattering. She wants to run with just you~)

Even if you’re not feeling up for it the sight of her in a tank top and shorts with her slowly growing-out hair tied back in a short adorable ponytail and her bangs held out of her face by a golden yellow hairband that brings out the soft, gold glow of her eyes is a sight that would brighten anyone’s day

You tell her as much and her responding blush double-brightens your day

If you’re not up for it, she’ll encourage you do to some kind of exercise around the house.

Preferably while listening to one of Zen’s musicals, but she’ll put on whatever you want. She only suggests it because she knows one that’s particularly inspiring.

If you are feeling up for it she’ll make sure she matches whatever pace you’re up for going, even if that means not going above a brisk walk.

This outing is for you, after all. 

She’ll reassure you that wherever you’re at right now, you’ll be back on your feet eventually.

Until then, she’s more than happy to take care of you, whatever that may entail.

Jaehee wins girlfriend of the year.

Every year.

Jumin:

​Slump? What’s that?

“Slump” is not in this man’s dictionary.

(Which is kind of a lie, although it’s pretty rare for him. If there is work that he wants to be done he always feels like doing it, since not doing it would bother him more than his other problems do.)

(He does suffer from prioritizing other things over work sometimes when he’s stressed but that doesn’t really stress him out since he just? Doesn’t care about work at the moment?)

You tell him you’re just feeling really low, and that you’re having trouble doing the things you need to get done.

He’s like

Why don’t you just… do the things?

Forgive him he’s trying

He’s honestly not quite sure what to do?

First of all, if he can, he’ll do the things for you or hire someone else to do them. He certainly understands the frustration of things not being done when they need to be done

Outside of that, though… he’s not sure. 

Tell him what you want and it’s yours?

He’ll make you strawberry pancakes even if it is dinnertime.

And wine, because, well. Wine. It’s a cure all.

Pancakes and wine, the finest of fine dining

At night he’ll hold you close and whisper reassurances in your ear until you fall asleep.

He’ll basically do anything and everything he can to fix the problem

(He’ll even rub your clothes with catnip while you’re asleep so that you get extra cuddles from Elizabeth the 3rd the next day. Kitty cuddles are another of his cure all.)

He might back down slightly if you tell him that it’s not something that needs to be fixed so much as it is a time you need to work through

Then he’ll switch from speedy problem solving mode to unconditional love and support mode.

(There will still be wine and kitty cuddles though.)

Seven:

JOKES

MEMES

PRANKS

~*~*Defender of Justice 707*~*~ will pull out all the stops to make you smile

“What do you call it when Batman doesn’t go to church? Christian Bale!”

“How many ears does Spock have? Three! A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier~”

Yeah, that’s right, he’s bringing out the big guns.

Seriously he’s spent his life fighting off constant slumps using humour and damn if he’s not gonna use his leet memer skillz to help you through yours

He also decides he’s going to make you dinner

Oh God please no

Don’t worry, it doesn’t take him long to realize that he does not, in fact, know how to make dinner.

He does, however, make a kickass mac and cheese.

He knows all the tricks to make it perfect.

Adding just the right amount of milk, and putting real melted cheese on top...

Yeah, that’s right, he even has real food in the house. Look at him, it’s like he’s a real adult.

Except that it’s only there because you bought it.

He garnishes each bowl with a couple Honey Buddha chips. (You know, like fancy restaurants use those leafy things? Except it’s a sprinkle of crumbs and one single chip sticking up in the middle.)

Also he built you a small robot watch that generates one (1) meme per hour. 

(It looks kind of like the Apple watch except the screen is shaped like a pop-tart/cat it’s nyan cat okay and the band is a rainbow.)

It’s called the iMeme

He also builds you a cat robot that’s sole purpose is to compliment and encourage you

(Well, “built”. He just reprogrammed one of his old projects and taped a picture of his face on the front).

It’s called the iSaeyoung

And he also–

Saeyoung stop building things

For serious though, he’ll support you through it. Whatever you need, he’ll get it for you. If you need a day off, he’ll arrange it so you’re both free to lounge around and watch or do whatever you want. If you need a shoulder to cry on, what a coincidence, he has two. If you need encouragement, he has tons for you.

If you need someone murdered–

Saeyoung no

Saeran:

​Oh god you’re upset what is he supposed to do

When he’s upset he usually does unhealthy and self destructive things he has no positive coping methods to suggest (especially none that he can think of when he’s actively stressing out like this) and he’s certainly not going to suggest any of his bad ones to you

(He’s a hypocrite that way)

What do normal people do when someone they care about is upset???

Saeyoung would probably make you laugh

(Although he’s not sure Saeyoung is the best example of a “normal person”)

(It’s all he’s got to go on, he’s not exactly Mr. Popular)

“Uh, hey.”

Okay, so he’s got your attention. Now quick, think of something funny.

“Imagine if clouds could like… fall on people.”

…what the fuck, Saeran.

“I mean like, if blankets of cotton just fell from the sky and squished people.”

Oh my god stop talking, quick, think of a joke

“I-I mean… How do you make seven an even number?”

abort abort why is that the first joke that came to his mind goddamnit Saeyoung oh my god he needs to walk away right now immediately before you respond–

“…I don’t know, why?”

great. no escape now saeran, you have to answer. well, having friends was nice while it lasted.

His response is quiet, muttered out like he had to forcefully drag it out of his increasingly flushed stupid face with a tow truck.

“…you take off the S.”

…

He tried, okay? And it’s not his fault. He has a really good memory and his idiot brother keeps filling it with trash. He hates that his brain has a database of shitty 707 jokes more than you could possibly know.

But then you laugh.

And he turns even more red because he’s still embarrassed and holy shit you are godsend how could his shitty attempts cause such a wonderful sound?

You realize that this is his way of trying to cheer you up and the fact that he cares enough to tell you such an embarrassingly bad joke

Saeyoung is offended

is enough to lift your spirits even if only slightly

This is your chance to explain to him that you’re fine, you’re just… down lately.

Which gives him an opportunity to awkwardly ask what he can do to help, since he obviously doesn’t know. And he’s still working on this whole communication thing.

You tell him to just… be there.

And he nods. He can do that. He’d love to do that.

“And watch my back in case of falling clouds, okay Chicken Little?”

He doesn’t even get the reference but he is so red

It becomes an inside joke, which eventually leads to a day of Saeran sitting out of sight somewhere and throwing cotton balls at people while you point and scream “the sky is falling!”

Saeyoung is super proud

V:

​V notices that you’re not feeling your usual self.

He almost immediately arranges a nice sit down conversation about it over tea

(V has the best tea. You don’t know how he can make tea taste so good but he does? Maybe it’s because he has fancy rich people tea?)

He expresses his concern for you.

He tells you he’s here for you, whatever you need.

He tells you he understands. He’s been there.

Which is a little surprising to hear, since you can’t imagine the man before you flopping down on the couch and whining the way you are. 

(He casually does not mention that he has in fact done exactly that before. Just ask Jumin.) 

But he’s had artists block before

Another surprising one, considering how great literally every picture you’ve ever seen of his turns out

Seriously even his selfies are goddamn art.

You ask him how he gets past things like that

He smiles and tells you to that you just have to step away from the situation for a while and approach it from a different angle

And sometimes it’s easier to do with a cup of tea in one hand and the hand of someone you love in the other

V how do you take pictures if your hands are full, huh?

…It’s a metaphor.

When you’re done your talk, you’re surprised by a sudden flash of light.

You briefly wonder where the camera came from, but it’s V. Somehow, he always has a camera within reach.

At your confused look he’ll give you a smile (you know, the one that looks like angels painted it on his face themselves)

And explain that it’s a “before” picture. He’ll take a matching one “after” you find your way back out of the slump into the sunlight. To show you how far you’ve come.

Hopefully his cheesiness and ever present faith in you will lift you up. 

If not, then he’ll just be there for you to fall down on. 

(You’re working on him not feeling responsible (and guilty) for all of your problems. He’s trying his best.)

Vanderwood:

Vanderwood would notice immediately that something is up with you

They are a secret intelligence agent after all

And 707′s babysitter

So they’re used to recognizing the changes in someone’s behaviour

(Not that they’re overly focused on you or anything

You’re just.

You know.

You’re there.

So.

Of course they noticed.)

…now what

They’re good at the noticing part. They’re not so good at the doing emotions thing.

They’ll just spend more time around you.

They show up at your door muttering some story about how they were bored or needed somewhere to stay or whatever 

They bring you their favourite books (which is saying a lot like they only own like two books and they’re giving them to you???)

They kind of… awkwardly drop (read: neatly stack) the books on the nearest table with some excuse about how they’re a pain to move around from place to place so you should just have them 

and then they just

Stand there.

Which leads to them cleaning the nearest cleanable thing

(One upside, no matter how down you’re feeling your house will always be clean. Cleaning is Vanderwood’s thing.)

While they’re cleaning they would talk without looking at you because that makes it less awkward

“This’ll pass, you know.”

Their voice is just the slightest hint softer than usual.

“You just have to keep on going and it’ll pass. Everything does. Just ride it out and things will get better.”

“And, uh. Remember that you’ve got people who can help you. Like the RFA. And you have m–…”

They’re red now. Their voice raises as they continue, as though the volume can hide their embarrassment.

“And clean your goddamn house once in a while! Geez, anyone would be upset in this mess. I guess I’ll keep doing it, if you won’t.”

They don’t mind, really. If you look guilty or anything they’ll quickly tell you that. They like cleaning. And it gives them an excuse to come check on/hang out with you. 

They will not tell you that last part.

Also, while they suck at talking about feelings they’ve actually gotten pretty good at listening to them so if you ever need someone to talk to, Vanderwood is your person.

They even give good advice, Sometimes.

They have lots of life experience. Although their life experience is, uh. Not always transferable to the average everyday person.

It’s occasionally slightly illegal advice. But still pretty good.

[jay5885]

Tiny Treasure!

Friday, 8 January

When I decided to begin writing a vaguely Ehlers Danlos themed blog about the interesting, frustrating and sarcastic life it's provided me with, I never imagined I would be writing this.....now.

So...yeah, while I've been busy bumbling through unorganised, chaos ridden, flukey academic and parental successes (See appendix 1), I've also been busy building a tiny treasure!

I actually don't believe I can take the credit for building this little person, all I have actually done is eat, sleep, try not to be sick and try not to visciously maim anybody. I succeeded on most of those scores (this is of course as long as verbally shooting your partner down 20 times a day doesn't count.....sorry Andy!). I have basically made it through the last 13 weeks in any way I can, I've eaten cheesy mashed potato for breakfast, laid on the sofa with a carrier bag as a companion (nausea is not cheap! 5 pence a bag!). The term 'morning sickness' was obviously dreamed up by a male! (Don't you men start tutting!), it's a stinking lie! The words morning and sickness are neither realistic nor relevant! For a start, it's not even all day, it's there 24 hours a day and they can swap the word sickness for endless nausea with some actual sickness thrown in to add an event to your otherwise zombie like existence.

Over the last two weeks I have started to overcome the side effects of the initial stage of pregnancy, I believed I had achieved something huge, come out of what resembled the exorcist at times, got some colour back in my cheeks, gold star for me (cue cheesy grin). So, I have strutted around (shuffled with crutches really but with EDS that is most definitely a good strut), Mrs look what I've done, no on died or moved out.....where's my certificate?!? Until I had an ultrasound scan of our tiny treasure a couple of days ago that is! You would think that fourth time round I would know what to expect of a scan, I was well aware of the stage the baby would be at and my main concern was that all was ok. You'll be relieved to read that everything was perfect, but I learned a lesson while watching our little person moving around, stretching out, sucking it's thumb. In the last 13 weeks this tiny person has achieved far more than I had even hoped to, it has over come some pretty hefty obstacles and then gone on to transform from a bunch of cells into an actual person. Maybe it's the hormones but I am in awe of my own baby already.

No pregnancy I have is ever going to be untouched or unaffected by Ehlers-Danlos and the aim of this blog was to give a true, non medical and slightly sarcastic account of my experiences, so here goes. I have written before about the way I visualise visits to the GP, for those that haven't read it or don't remember it's basically bingo, hosted by Dale Winton (don't ask). So with pregnancy come an increase in contact with GP's, in turn that increased my chances of coming into contact with ones that had fallen into shitehawk lectures (again, see my first blog). It didn't take that long for this to happen, I fact, even I was shocked and not best prepared with being so unwell initially. There has been, as expected, a reduction in medication due to pregnancy, didn't come as any surprise to me despite my totally fluked healthcare education! The plan was in place, everyone knew what was what, bish, bash, bosh! If I could write a record scratch type noise in at this point to emphasise how stupidly wrong I was to presume that this plan was in stone I would! Cue the GP from above mentioned lectures, who randomly blurts out a well disquised critical assassination of "my" decision to continue taking anything besides paracetamol and that I had to put my baby first. There has never been a more realistic impression of a goldfish than the one I performed at that moment and for once, maybe because I wasn't prepared for what she sprang at me or maybe because I was so physically ill, I actually did not have a well researched and confident answer for her, I was floored. As much as I don't like seriousness, unfortunately I don't know a single person with a chronic illness that hasn't experienced something as bad as this from a health professional so it's important that it's here or I wouldn't give a true reflection of my experiences of EDS.

With feeling a little better I have regained my sense of humour (sigh of relief), I've regained my coping mechanism, can laugh at myself again and have my crazy visions back! I am currently having a real struggle with a wobbly pelvis (uni is really paying off when it comes to my technical terms eh?). The pain is unreal, it's all consuming, to shift weight from one foot to another is the hardest part so I have spent most of my time shuffling around like an 80 year old. Its probably the funniest thing people that know me have seen, as hard as I try I can't avoid shuffling all of the time and all I could think earlier today is that I must look like I've shat myself! Said pelvis problem is only going to worsen, so for the very first time I am having to consider the fact that I may not be able to continue on crutches. There may come a time, if I want to be part of the outside world, that I have to consider a chair. I hate that thought, I'm outspoken but hate being the focus of attention, hate being looked at, hate being incapable and being dependent, so the thought of a chair upsets me, a lot. What saves me is these silly visions I get. I was discussing my walking issues with my partner only yesterday and he joked he wouldn't push me round town in a chair, I was thinking about our conversation later that night and ended up laughing about it for the first time. I've watched Andy push my youngest daughter around in a pushchair a lot while she was young, sounds normal right? Well.....not Andy! One example was a day we went to a beach and walked along a short pier, all normal so far.....well, myself and Andys dad were having a slow wander along this pier, chatting away, next thing we know we can hear a rumble, a small child laughing and also a 20 odd year old child laughing. Andy raced past us both, small child in the pram he was running with and the pair of them in hysterics. This I fact continued for about 6 drive bys until Andy got too tired. When thinking about me in a chair, being pushed around by Andy (totally not what he signed up for), my thoughts slipped back to the day they were racing up and down the pier, except it was me in a wheelchair and he couldn't stop when he got to the end of the pier and I ended up in the sea! That's when the laughs came, because I know that in that same situation, if I was in  a chair, he would do the exact same thing, just hopefully not throw me off the end!

So, I'm sure there's many more laughs (and some not so funny experiences) headed our way on this particular journey, but while I'm proud of what I'm achieving, it's absolutely nothing compared to the little person and I need to stay humble, grounded and a little bit silly to survive! Most of all, I know it's all worth it.

[swimmingpainterchild-blog]

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Consider me, these profiles will not likely get considerably consideration. Other profiles make the mistake of weak spelling and grammar, or just will not likely be organizing to make drastically sensation. Women and men are unlikely at the moment staying enthusiastic about your profile if it appears muddled, baffled, or is only a tiresome vast variety within just your respective attributes. Similarly, rambling on about within your particular in further of fairly many paragraphs might possibly give the impression which you're just a little self-obsessed. A exceptional suggestion could nicely be to show a draft within your profile to some buddy, and request for some trustworthy suggestions. Inform your shut companion about all of the details you're wanting to say, and also the type of gentleman or girl you'd prefer to meet up with up with up with. This may most probably aid them gauge irrespective of regardless of whether or not your profile is 'hitting the mark' or not. It may very well be also advantageous to incorporate slightly of humour, specifically should you well worth other folks who use a feeling of humour. Be mindful not to construct crass or distasteful jokes within of of your profile, as this may effectively set people absent from. Originality is generally a hallmark of an awesome profile. Publish about what's distinctive and intriguing about on your exceptional. Men and women are drawn to fascinating ladies and guys who've somebody issue distinct to say, and express it with human being or ladies type and flair. As an illustration, permit's say you take into account place to be a fanatic about a particular TELEVISION COLLECTION current. As an alternative to just declaring 'I surely like that reveal', why not stage out distinct merchandise, actors and storylines that fascinate you. This may show that you simply decide to've purchased a inventive and clever thoughts, and becoming a consequence are not just generating bland statements about likes and dislikes. Retain aside from composing a lazy profile. These varieties of profiles appear turning out to be vague, disinterested and reveal which the author will not be all that actually vital about inside of the web romantic relationship. A lazy profile might have unhealthy spelling, using a normal basis not considerably sensation, and is most likely incredibly shorter, or rambles on an total good deal a lot very prolonged. What does give outstanding excellent success is essentially a concise, snappy profile that covers the following techniques. It can be planning to plainly point out your uniqueness (with out at present staying smug or egotistical), some particulars about you and who you're going to be heading to have arranging changing into in investigation of to meet up with up with or spend back awareness to from. A remarkable profile, like a excellent posture app, will make men and women nowadays would adore to know you, merely mainly because they are drawn to intriguing of us with 'a problem to say.' If you may have hassle with textual content material - have a look at hiring an editor, or any man or females who has expertise in that place - just as you'll be able to maybe request for assist when crafting a do the employment application letter or excellent-tuning your Resume. Finally, accompany your profile textual topic content that has a priceless photograph of oneself. The photograph completely ought to normally be current-time of day (not utilised every single single time you have by now been a fantastic deal younger), in concentrate, as an substitute to considerably considerably far as well dark or at precisely a similar time soft. Guarantee the photograph is shut-up, making selected that men and women today can see your confront plainly, and specifically your eyes. A smile facilitates incredibly! The sole time I may properly really probably possess a look at not performing with a photograph is after you're a bodily genuinely engaging specific specific, particularly women. Shots of valuable men and women will get lots of a lot a complete good deal further 'expressions of fascination' from women and men today collectively with the courting earth-broad-word wide web internet internet site, possibly hundreds of messages - considerably incredibly rather a few to cope with. In these sorts of circumstances, I propose not displaying your image, and concentrating on generating brilliant profile textual facts. That way, individuals will tactic you far extra on 'who that you take place to generally be', as opposed to 'that which you appear like'. And that indicates you now have a handful of concepts to unique you commenced with crafting a superior profile. When you've accomplished the method and up to date your courting world-wide-web page records, you'd in all probability probably be doable for acquiring considerably extra productive in direction of the courting sport, thanks in the direction of the truth other men and women will see you as exclusive, fascinating and any man or women they'd absolutely favor to meet up with.

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This week, you have mainly heard me stating the obvious.  Mainly ‘it’s sooooo coooold’ which could be expected for Winter but nevertheless doesn’t stop me moaning. Orkney Beef had quite a bad cold earlier in the week and added to that had the dreaded sick bug.  This was enough to throw me into orbit as I am really quite phobic about being sick.  (called Emetophobia) so by mid-week, I’m boil washing anything that’s not nailed down, continually wiping surfaces and washing my hands until they hurt.  It’s all pretty exhausting but Orkney Beef told me I did well and I must be getting better as I didn’t cry!

Anyway, the weather is not conducive to getting mountains of boiled washing dry, it hosts the dreaded winter vomiting bug, it makes you freeze as you dash from car to workplace, house to car and car to swimming pool, but at least it looks pretty.

This photo Stromness was taken by photographer Debbie Sutherland and you can see lots of her moody and atmospheric shots on Instagram under the name Debbiesutherland1.

  Stromness under a smattering of snow

One enjoyable thing about winter is being able to get cosy in the evenings and do some hobbies that seem to get left in summer months.  I was recently in the library and found you can now borrow jigsaws.  I chose one, checked it out then went home and took the dining table hostage.  After complaining constantly that I’ve not enough hours in the day I manage to make a vast amount of hours disappear to this jigsaw puzzle. It’s a most enjoyable way to hemorrhage time though I’ve discovered.  I will now spend the same amount of time looking for the piece that’s missing.

     I’m still swimming regularly before work.  5 times a week is my average and I’m loving it.  A few weeks into it I asked Orkney Beef if he thought I’d lost weight.  He looked terrified as if he was about to tread on a landmine and blow himself to pieces.

Yes

Yes what?

Yes you look like you’ve lost weight

Where from?

Well, sort of here. *points vaguely at my body*

You’re just saying that because I’ve asked?  You can’t actually notice can you?

I’m not going to win am I?

No.

A couple of weeks ago Orkney Beef sold his running machine and bought me an Apple watch.  He is kindness personified. (it’s and early birthday/Christmas present by the way) He bought one that I could take into the swimming pool and measure my distance, lengths, calories burned etc. He knew how much swimming means to me and wanted to do something.  There was only one problem.  I was too scared to take it in the water!  I ended up researching and asking advice before taking the leap.  Now I use it all the time and love it.  Thank you Orkney Beef for knowing best (this one time) I love it.

Disappointments are a part of life and something I firmly believe we shouldn’t protect our children from. We should teach our children how to cope with disappointment and get back up again.  However,  Tech Support son had a disappointment yesterday and I could’ve cried for him.  The mother in me wanted to shout and scream and make thing happen.  I couldn’t, but what I COULD do was take him out for lunch and hot chocolate, put the smile back on his face.  Tech Support is the quiet one in the family but he has an excellent sense of humour and yesterday was no exception. His jokes and comedy timing had us both in stitches, he was restored.  He got back up again.  Well done TS.

I’m excited about the week coming up.  It’s because I have a week off work and I’m having a ‘staycation’  Not going anywhere but big plans to complete the great Christmas tidy up and prepare.  We’ll see.  I’ll report back.

Have a great week everyone.

My Week In Pictures This week, you have mainly heard me stating the obvious.  Mainly 'it's sooooo coooold' which could be expected for Winter but nevertheless doesn't stop me moaning.