#the same brain in both changing derap's design after the argument AND creating art based on that scene in the stream. bro.

[rainisdey]

It's the 1 am effect, that's when I peak >:)

Also YAY I'm glad you like my design so much ^_^ Probably one of my personal favourites of all time all fandoms. .....im just realizing that next season he won't have the sun necklace since. yk. the zam plans to be enemies in s7. fuck my stupid baka life. No tulips, no sun; only the Parrot feathers will stay, I think.

THE EYE CONTACT. I AGREE. HARD AGREE. That is exactly what I imagine for Derap in his conversations. Eye contact as another means of communication, those extra messages that cannot be really said but can be shown.

Just as a whole I love imagining with Derap that his body language is always important in conversations with him, because he often speaks in such a tone of voice that it's impossible to understand how he's feeling about something. SO to be vulnerable for Derapchu is to let his ears move around, to not force his tail to be calm all the time, to look at the person he's talking to in the eyes, to make different gestures as emphasis for his words. And if he doesn't trust you, none of that will be shown (the only exception is probably such movements that portray anger and frustration).

It's fun when paired with Zam avoiding looking at Derap during some conversations, because that means she doesn't notice any of those extra messages and goes off of his words only, a grave mistake.

"Zam may be the sun but at moments like that, Derap shines with such an vulnerability that Zam has to look away." I will hang that on a wall do not test me bro. Leaf do NOT test me.

So here's a little fun fact: when watching Lifesteal I always replace the minecraft visuals in my head with all of my designs and proper cartoon-like visions; basically, it turns into an animated show in my head as I watch it. And now I want you to visualize a lil' somethin' with me.

^ You see how my Derap has a necklace with a sun out in the open like that? Though, the orange tulips are now missing after one stream (hello, "Paradox // Survive". wemmbu you mf.), but the necklace is still there .

(fun fact: the rust was added after that one stream where Zam was feeling extra suicidal. the one where Derap went "what the fuck is wrong with you" and "i'm sorry you feel that way". that one. a representation of how rocky their relationship had gotten.)

Now let's go back to the latest Zam stream ("A Prince's Legacy"). Zam and Derapchu are standing on the destroyed look-out post. Ever since Zam asked the question of "What do you want, Derap? What do you want?", Derap hasn't really truly met her eyes for the rest of the conversation; thinking, looking off into the distance, into the sea. Even when looking at her, it's like he's trying to look past her. Until he looks down. He sees the necklace again, sees the sun. And it clicks.

Derap looks at his necklace as he interrupts Zam. "Do you care about me?", he asks. He waits for an answer, and, as he does, his hands slowly rise to the sun on his chest.

"Yeah", Zam replies. Derap grabs the necklace as his tail flicks. He holds the sun, not a single word said. Until, finally, he cradles it in his hands, raising it so he can properly look at it.

"I think I've realised... what I care about on this server." His own reflection in the sun stares at him, no emotion evident. "There's nothing really-- that I really care about build-wise." He looks away again, as if in shame; yet, as he starts to speak again, his gaze goes back to his reflection. "I guess there is, but it's-- the only reason why I care about it is because..." And he finally looks Zam dead in the eyes, the most honest and vulnerable he's been all day. A slight smile appears on his face. "...of you."

He talks, and he talks, and the sun stays in his hands, and that smallest smile still persists. His eyes dance around the place, going all around the look-out post, then to his reflection, then back to Zam.

He quiets down, and he's silent, thinking, and the sun is slightly lowered, and the smile is gone as he thinks about what he's about to say. His eyes are locked in place, staring down at his reflection through the rust once more.

"...But, I guess, at the end of this season, my goal..."

Finally, he stops cradling the sun. Instead, he takes the sun by its sides while looking straight at Zam. He smiles, yet there's something slightly sad in his expression. He's resigned, content, and it's strange, but, in the end...

"...is to keep you alive."

...it's Zam's own reflection being shown to her. The sun that always hangs around Derapchu's neck has been turned to her to remind her of the reason it's there in the first place: her. It's because of her. She is the sun, she is what Derap has been cradling in his arms.

The reflection stares at her, and she stares back as she laughs in disbelief. "It's gonna be a little hard with the entire server against us."

Scene end.

(i got sooooooo carried away holy SHIT why did this turn into a mini fanfic hello)

Rainisssss how dare you come into my inbox drop the most heartbreaking writing ever and leave /silly

I love your Derap design 4ever and always and the tulips being gone after Wemmbu bans himself ??????? Sobbing forever

I love Zam just straightup asking Derap what he wants, because, Derap normally lets whatever he wants be overshadowed by Zams wants/needs.

"He's resigned, content, and it's strange," DUDEEEEEE, I love how Derap seemed to accept he would die defending Zam at doomsday, but he was resigned to it. Happy to do it, for Zam........

"She is the sun, she is what Derap has been cradling in his arms." WHAT IF I CRIED. Your writing is sooooo good eating it.

ALSO uh funny thing, I was literally in the middle of drawing a comic of this exact scene when you sent this so lmao, great minds think alike. For my comic I had Derap looking away until he asks Zam if he cares about him so, yah. Personally I like to imagine Derap making eye contact much more than Zam does(with how hes always jumping around during lore convos), but still using eye contact mainly for emphasis. When hes trying to be serious, or get someone to believe/trust him. I like the idea of Derap constantly making eye contact that Zam breaks first, overwhelmed by his intensity+ paired often with kind statements. Zam may be the sun but at moments like that, Derap shines with such an vulnerability that Zam has to look away.