#rainis rambles◇

[rainisdey]

why are they genuinely so stupid-looking. what is devious even about.

[rainiestdey]

BRO THE NEW UNSTABLE EP. DUDE. these shots were absolutely insane, I'm being so for real.

THE TWIN STARS?? THE WAY THEY RELATE TO TWO PAIRS AT ONCE?? so insane. parrot's a genius writer I love him.

I lowk messed up my chronological order of watching but it was so worth it and the main arc. GOSHHHH the main character arc. tears in my eyes.

I really gotta collect some more proper thoughts about this my god. (and catch up on past eps bro🙏😭) until then, PEAK.

can't wait for the Director reveal next episode

[rainisdey]

BOY let me tell you why Parchu is THE doomed yaoi in this particular equation on not one, but two servers! and bare with me here, im passionate about them, so this'll be a lot and will touch upon Lifesteal and Unstable Universe.

LIFESTEAL

Did you guys know that one of the (if not THE) reasons that Derapchu joined Lifesteal was to hang out with Parrot more? Did you know that Derap didn't get the memo that the guy he literally joined the server for wasn't about to participate in the season Derap joined? THIS already sets up two things: 1) ls!Derapchu's loneliness motif that carries through the entire season; 2) the duo being doomed FROM THE BEGINNING.

To quote my own essay I've been slowly writing: "And so imagine this: you come to a place that you barely understand anything about for one particular person, just for that person to not even be there. That’s what Lifesteal was to Derapchu for a long time. Lifesteal was immediately set up in a way that made Derapchu a loner, a person left to miss someone he never got to spend time with on this server. He was abandoned from day 1, a lost-and-found toy left on the ground that Wemmbu happened to pick up."

Afterwards the two make a bet (which can be dramatized and interpreted as ls!Derap grasping at straws to get his Parrot back), and the result of that is Parrot rejoining Lifesteal for 6 hours -- the happiest hours on Lifesteal for Derap, mind you!!! Parrot to Derapchu was more than just a VIP: he was a teammate (a word to not be taken lightly on Lifesteal EVER!!), the reason to look forward to that day. And Derap wants Parrot to stay so badly, so badly! -- that in their last conversation on Lifesteal he practically begged for any chance of Parrot rejoining and, when that failed, for even another cameo in any season whatsoever. He was grasping at straws.

Parrot's last words reinstate just how doomed they are: “As Rekrap once said,  life is about change. And… I think that… as much as it hurts you and maybe some other people on this server… I think I’m past my era of Lifesteal.” LET ME REPEAT THAT. "As much as it hurts you..." <- BRO IS FULLY AWARE JUST HOW DAMNING HIS WORDS AND DECISION IS. BRO IS FULLY AWARE HOW DOOMED THEY ARE.

Since then, since Parrot's ban, Parrot continues to haunt Derapchu's narrative. In his conversations with Zam, in his behaviour, in the hearts leftover from that event. He's still there. Every heart Derapchu had in his stash was a reminder of Parrot and how no matter what Derap cannot get him back. In fact!!!! A few days ago, when Poafa deathbanned Bacon and Derap was on revival duty, Derapchu literally spent a few seconds hovering over "Revive Parrot". GUY LOOKED INTO THE CAMERA WITH THIS KNOWING PAINED EXPRESSION and then revived Bacon like he was supposed to. Which is another reason they're doomed: Derap has everything to bring Parrot back, except Parrot himself. Parrot will not log on again, no matter what.

This concludes my Lifesteal case for why Parchu is the doomed yaoi you should vote for!

UNSTABLE UNIVERSE

I have less to say about Unstable, plus this is already taking way too long, so I'll keep this nice and sweet.

"Redstone Genius" Episode: Parrot and Derap get closer, with Parrot being the only person on the server who knows of Derapchu's struggles, therefore being (most likely) the most important person on this server to him. The lonely Parrot (yes, lonely; he's not as close to anyone as he was to Wifies, after all) and the ridiculed Kangaroo. My shaylas bro....

"Minecraft Hacker" Episode: At the very end of the episode The Director blatantly states that Leowook and Derapchu will soon become not needed (just like poor Nufuli) and will therefore become redundant to their story. This means if The Director isn't defeated in time Parchu is FUCKING DOOMED. ABSOLUTELY JOVER. Especially since Derap is an important character right now in s2 of UU in Parrot's POV. cc!Derap spent quite a lot of time in Parrot's recordings for this new ep, and a single frame shown during his subathon reveals that uu!Derapchu very much has upgraded armour.

All in all, they are doomed once more!

TL;DR: ls!Parrot was ls!Derap's reason for being here, the Parrot Event was the best time in Derap's life here, and Parrot will never return which pains and haunts Derap. uu!Derap has a very high chance of dying or otherwise disappearing from uu!Parrot's life via The Director. Therefore, they are doomed at least twice. Case closed, vote Parchu!

(If bribery is allowed I would also love to provide doodles of any kind for a Parchu vote. If not, well. Can't say I didn't offer LOL.)

Lifesteal Doomed Yaoi/Yuri Tournament, Round 1, Side B, Match 4

you can submit propaganda in reblogs or asks! voter fraud is allowed!

[rainyfey]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Okarun was crying and begging for Momo to run away! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY BONES D,: This is so well done, it really conveys fear and anguish! I congratulate you, your art is amazing :D... What other negative effects could Okarun's curse have? Thank you

Omg anon you made my day when you sent this!!! Thank you so so much for taking the time to write such lovely things 😭💕 I'm very flattered that you liked that little detail so much! I had wondered if I'd written it too messily for anyone to read XD

Anyhoo, here is a sketch page for you~

I'm more of a draw-er than a words-er, but I wanted to ramble a bit here under the cut ^^ Thanks again for the ask, I am so happy to have another reason to yap about Turbo Okarun~

While I'm glad that the manga/anime didn't spend too much time on Okarun's struggles in canon, I am having So Much Fun thinking of ways to torture this guy haha. We see him complaining that the curse hurts him in the first half of the season, but he doesn't actually seem to end up with any lasting damage! In my mind, it'd make sense for him to end up more fatigued or to suffer from random nosebleeds or other internal injuries due to the curse manipulating his body the way it does.

I also looooved the instances in episodes 5/6 when he transformed without meaning to! Very fun to see his emotions getting the better of him~

Now, if I were a fic writer, I would be so interested in exploring physical side effects in something like a sick fic. What if he detransforms and finds that he can't warm back up? Still corpse-cold like his yokai form instead of human temperature? Or, I could take a page out of NatsuYuu's book and have him come down with a cold/fever as a consequence of some of his tougher fights? Lots of good potential for angst there, for sure ^^

And lastly, what if he was on a timer the minute he transformed?? What if staying transformed and going all out began chipping away at his sanity? It's not his power, after all. Stay in Turbo Mode too long and suddenly he's a prisoner in his own mind. The curse takes over and he's just along for the ride, no longer able to control his body. >:3

Aaand that's it for now! Thank you for your support and for listening to my rambling haha. I hope you enjoyed the art/headcanons ^^

[jamtamart]

what will it take to be more than just a man

[rainisdey]

It's the 1 am effect, that's when I peak >:)

Also YAY I'm glad you like my design so much ^_^ Probably one of my personal favourites of all time all fandoms. .....im just realizing that next season he won't have the sun necklace since. yk. the zam plans to be enemies in s7. fuck my stupid baka life. No tulips, no sun; only the Parrot feathers will stay, I think.

THE EYE CONTACT. I AGREE. HARD AGREE. That is exactly what I imagine for Derap in his conversations. Eye contact as another means of communication, those extra messages that cannot be really said but can be shown.

Just as a whole I love imagining with Derap that his body language is always important in conversations with him, because he often speaks in such a tone of voice that it's impossible to understand how he's feeling about something. SO to be vulnerable for Derapchu is to let his ears move around, to not force his tail to be calm all the time, to look at the person he's talking to in the eyes, to make different gestures as emphasis for his words. And if he doesn't trust you, none of that will be shown (the only exception is probably such movements that portray anger and frustration).

It's fun when paired with Zam avoiding looking at Derap during some conversations, because that means she doesn't notice any of those extra messages and goes off of his words only, a grave mistake.

"Zam may be the sun but at moments like that, Derap shines with such an vulnerability that Zam has to look away." I will hang that on a wall do not test me bro. Leaf do NOT test me.

So here's a little fun fact: when watching Lifesteal I always replace the minecraft visuals in my head with all of my designs and proper cartoon-like visions; basically, it turns into an animated show in my head as I watch it. And now I want you to visualize a lil' somethin' with me.

^ You see how my Derap has a necklace with a sun out in the open like that? Though, the orange tulips are now missing after one stream (hello, "Paradox // Survive". wemmbu you mf.), but the necklace is still there .

(fun fact: the rust was added after that one stream where Zam was feeling extra suicidal. the one where Derap went "what the fuck is wrong with you" and "i'm sorry you feel that way". that one. a representation of how rocky their relationship had gotten.)

Now let's go back to the latest Zam stream ("A Prince's Legacy"). Zam and Derapchu are standing on the destroyed look-out post. Ever since Zam asked the question of "What do you want, Derap? What do you want?", Derap hasn't really truly met her eyes for the rest of the conversation; thinking, looking off into the distance, into the sea. Even when looking at her, it's like he's trying to look past her. Until he looks down. He sees the necklace again, sees the sun. And it clicks.

Derap looks at his necklace as he interrupts Zam. "Do you care about me?", he asks. He waits for an answer, and, as he does, his hands slowly rise to the sun on his chest.

"Yeah", Zam replies. Derap grabs the necklace as his tail flicks. He holds the sun, not a single word said. Until, finally, he cradles it in his hands, raising it so he can properly look at it.

"I think I've realised... what I care about on this server." His own reflection in the sun stares at him, no emotion evident. "There's nothing really-- that I really care about build-wise." He looks away again, as if in shame; yet, as he starts to speak again, his gaze goes back to his reflection. "I guess there is, but it's-- the only reason why I care about it is because..." And he finally looks Zam dead in the eyes, the most honest and vulnerable he's been all day. A slight smile appears on his face. "...of you."

He talks, and he talks, and the sun stays in his hands, and that smallest smile still persists. His eyes dance around the place, going all around the look-out post, then to his reflection, then back to Zam.

He quiets down, and he's silent, thinking, and the sun is slightly lowered, and the smile is gone as he thinks about what he's about to say. His eyes are locked in place, staring down at his reflection through the rust once more.

"...But, I guess, at the end of this season, my goal..."

Finally, he stops cradling the sun. Instead, he takes the sun by its sides while looking straight at Zam. He smiles, yet there's something slightly sad in his expression. He's resigned, content, and it's strange, but, in the end...

"...is to keep you alive."

...it's Zam's own reflection being shown to her. The sun that always hangs around Derapchu's neck has been turned to her to remind her of the reason it's there in the first place: her. It's because of her. She is the sun, she is what Derap has been cradling in his arms.

The reflection stares at her, and she stares back as she laughs in disbelief. "It's gonna be a little hard with the entire server against us."

Scene end.

(i got sooooooo carried away holy SHIT why did this turn into a mini fanfic hello)

Rainisssss how dare you come into my inbox drop the most heartbreaking writing ever and leave /silly

I love your Derap design 4ever and always and the tulips being gone after Wemmbu bans himself ??????? Sobbing forever

I love Zam just straightup asking Derap what he wants, because, Derap normally lets whatever he wants be overshadowed by Zams wants/needs.

"He's resigned, content, and it's strange," DUDEEEEEE, I love how Derap seemed to accept he would die defending Zam at doomsday, but he was resigned to it. Happy to do it, for Zam........

"She is the sun, she is what Derap has been cradling in his arms." WHAT IF I CRIED. Your writing is sooooo good eating it.

ALSO uh funny thing, I was literally in the middle of drawing a comic of this exact scene when you sent this so lmao, great minds think alike. For my comic I had Derap looking away until he asks Zam if he cares about him so, yah. Personally I like to imagine Derap making eye contact much more than Zam does(with how hes always jumping around during lore convos), but still using eye contact mainly for emphasis. When hes trying to be serious, or get someone to believe/trust him. I like the idea of Derap constantly making eye contact that Zam breaks first, overwhelmed by his intensity+ paired often with kind statements. Zam may be the sun but at moments like that, Derap shines with such an vulnerability that Zam has to look away.

[rainy-day-13]

Can we just talk about the fact that Neal implicitly trusts Peter from the very start?

I know I mentioned this in my other post but it's been plaguing my mind and it warrants its own post.

Peter is an FBI Agent. Not only that, he's the FBI Agent who took Neal down. He tracked him for years, arrested him, got him convicted of bond forgery, and got him locked up in a supermax prison for four years.

By all accounts, Neal shouldn't trust this man. He has no reason to.

And yet

From their very first on screen interaction together, it's absolutely clear that Neal does trust Peter, completely. His body language and posture don't change at all when Peter finds him sitting in Kate's empty apartment. He doesn't tense. He doesn't try to run. He remains sitting on the floor and calmly keeps talking to Peter like he's an old friend.

Before Neal even asks for his deal. Before they start working together. Their whole history up to this point is their cat and mouse game and Peter trying to catch Neal, and yet Neal already trusts him. Enough to stay completely relaxed when Peter comes to arrest him. Enough to ask him to hold on to the bottle, his last connection to Kate. Enough to ask Peter to keep him under his custody so he can get out of prison.

That's a lot of trust for a man who put him in prison in the first place.

I don't know if I have a point here, I'm just rambling, but don't even get me started on Peter's trust in this scene.

He walks in to arrest Neal, alone, and is completely casual about it. He never once draws his weapon, he just knows that Neal is nonviolent and doesn't like guns. He trusts that hasn't changed in the nearly four years he's been in prison. Peter asks if he's carrying, but he didn't need to ask because "You know I don't like guns." When else is an FBI Agent going to go in, alone, to apprehend a fugitive completely unarmed? Okay not technically unarmed he had his gun on him but drawing it was never even a thought in his mind.

I can't with these two and how much they trust each other despite their history.

Once again many thanks to @tocappuccinosintheclouds for the gifs! (and for always letting me yap about these two) ❤️ You're wonderful and I'm so glad this show has put you in my life!

[wretchedrainy]

ughhhh im so tiredand overwhelmed😭😭😭😭😭im so busy😭😭 andfeel sick

did yuo guys know coiny is one of the few contestants who actually own a phone. icant remember the others who do have phones but do yuo think coinys on social media posting whatever daily or is he just the type of guy to use his phone for only music and take funny as fuck selfies

THE INTERNET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rainy-day-wizard]

High quality meme i have made, inspired by my sister @nerdy-axolotl always calling him celibate instead of cellbit

i definitely put a lot of effort into this

[rainiestdey]

uu derap is just so tragic, man, and 🌸🌀 anon fucking gets it.

it's the way his first appearance in spoke's and parrot's first episodes is of him being just a stupid background henchman, incapable of anything. the way in wemmbu's second episode he's brushed off as a quickdrop.

it's the way he's treated both by people and by the narrative as comic relief, as someone incapable of doing anything but blurt out stupid shit that makes people laugh. the way in parrot's ep3 his disappearance is brushed off as incompetence and fleeing, the "derapchu is out of the question" in the proton ep. he's allowed to tag along, he's a friend, but he's just a comic relief. he is incompetent. he is the guy who says "im single" to a question about siblings, the guy who snores loudly when sleeping!

and doesn't that sting? doesn't that get to your head? doesn't that make you doubt yourself, too? you may get defensive on the outside, but what about your mind, your heart? do you defend yourself there?

and the answer that was given to us in "i got hunted by a redstone genius" was yes, yes, it gets to his head every time, it hurts, it stings. but there's no defense left in him.

"I just want people to see me differently."

"Then see yourself differently first."

(paraphrased)

how can he see himself differently when all that surrounds him is failure? when all that anon mentioned happens? when a stupid snore made his teammates leave the base and got them all found?

as per cc!Derapchu's words, uu!Derap got those netherite boots after the events of "redstone genius" as a sign of respect. it's a symbol that maybe he's capable, maybe he can be trusted, maybe it's worth to keep him around and he's useful after all. for derap, it can truly be a symbol of hope, a reason to think of himself differently, hope that others are starting to think of him differently..!

so imagine derap after the latest episode. he is a bad luck charm, no? maybe he should give those boots back. there's no hope for him, after all.

and he thinks of himself the same.

we're back on our uu derap angst arc!!! anyways, imagine being left to take care of an entire army of players- hundreds of thousands, you probably don't keep track of them all. but you were the one entrusted with these people (you're the only other available person. if she had still been here, they wouldn't have chosen you.) and yet you break that trust because everyone- under your care- dies. right under your nose.

yeah, was it preventable? void no- that guy is god and he will get what he wants. you can't fight against it. but does that stop you from feeling guilty? of course not! maybe if you'd have kept a closer eye, been more attentive- maybe if she was here, she would've spotted it; gotten everyone out or to somewhere safe (temporarily) or just came up with a plan.

then, you find a survivor- oop! nope! that's the guy who massacred all of your friends! and you just. Let Him roam free, by your side. just how much more disappointing can you be?

do you start believing yourself to be a bad luck charm- when your team leader has to basically give himself up to save (you) guys? when the orbital strike canon shot misses? when your armor keeps breaking and you can't be useful in fights? when the second strongest person on the team leaves and then promptly dies in front of your eyes?

anyways. whatever. uu derap isn't even that interesting anyways.

-🌸🌀 anon!! we're so back!!!

Squishes uu!Derap like a vitamin gummy it will only get worse from here.

[rainisdey]

Zam choosing Zaun to be his final resting place.... Do we think Derap will visit her there ? Or does he not even realize, maybe he visits Zaun and walks over where shes encased, never knowing...

Sorry anytime they visit Zaun I get so emo o_o

Dude I don't even know.......... I'm still in genuine shock and shambles over this stream my god. The fact that Zam chose Zaun of all places as her resting place is fucking me up oh my god. It's where the drift between Mapicc and Zam truly formed and it's the labour of love by Derapchu and Zam. Zam's safe place -- her base -- is currently not safe as Mapicc, one of the only two people to know of its location, the other being once again Derapchu, is aware of where it is and can hypothetically go and "pay a visit". So what place does she choose? Zaun. She chooses Zaun as her safe spot.

This entire duality of the situation and of the two closest people to Zam this season. Mapicc, who's her closest teammate ever, her other half, her soulmate; and Derapchu, who's her current close teammate, always there when he can be. Mapicc, who often disagrees with her yet they still gravitate towards each other, until something breaks, like today; and Derapchu, who never ever truly disagrees with her, even when he wants to, yet still have that distance that Devotions just don't have, until eventually something comes up and they stick together again. Mapicc, with whom she had multiple troubles and falling outs with, yet they still can't fix their communication issues; and Derapchu, with whom she hasn't had that many conflicts, and who constantly pushes to talk, always holds out a line of communication, even when Zam tries to avoid it or even cut it off.

It's a constant double with Zam. She's like a compass in that sense. Pointing straight with her morals and decisions until she's in hell of her own making; and the arrow spins, spirals. So does Zam. And, like compass is a circle, her life is a constant cycle.

Spawn is a place she wants to protect. Spawn is what Mapicc turned into Mawn. Zaun is where she escaped Mawn to. Spawn, no longer Mawn, is where she returned to after 97 days. Spawn, used to be Mawn, is what she is fighting for. Spawn, used to be Mawn, is where her life turned to hell again today. Zaun is where she escaped Spawn, used to be Mawn, to.

I really wonder how Derap will fit into this when he eventually logs on again. Though, knowing Derap and his absurd cartoonish luck I would NOT be surprised if he somehow manages to stumble upon the Resting Place of the Flower Knight. As of now, however, the thought of both Zam and Derapchu finding peace and safety in this "beautiful fever dream" they've made... Poetic and sad. Poetic and very sad.

[liecanthrope]

wait because seriously being an adult therian fucking rips, especially when you start being independent.

dog with a blog? nah. dog with a JOB. i come into work with my tail and my theta delta necklace and the building implodes from my sheer swag. weirdo teenagers love me. also having your own paycheck means you can get whatever gear/treats you want (once bills are paid, of course - bet youve never heard a dog say that!)

living in your own apartment? well the pet limit is 2 but if i include myself im going over the limit. whoops! good thing i love lying to landlords (fuck landlords). living alone (no roomie) is even better bc theres no one to judge you for your animal habits. i can make a huge den in the living room and who is going to stop me?

i even have my own health insurance. bro. imagine being a dog with medicaid. im climbing the walls and howling and barking. i love being a dog filling out government paperwork.

having your own vehicle? THIS DOG CAN DRIVE! if i feel like going to the lake i can just go to the lake! nobody is stopping me! midnight ride with the windows down to howl at the moon? yes please!!

you can literally just go wherever bro. i moved 11 hours from my hometown to the mountains to feel more at home. i lived in the great plains and now i can just go out for a hike in the rockies and howl at the sky.

being an adult therian slaps so fucking hard i cant wait for the youth to grow up and experience the joy of freedom. yes being an adult is incredibly stressful but if youve been stifled living with family, you get a real chance to develop who you truly are. adult therians i love you im rubbing against your neck and mixing our scents. mwah.

[shisasan]

Gentle rainy days are good for the soul.

[rainisdey]

zaun is the beautiful would be; a labour of love forever stuck with them, especially with derapchu; it's a time of innocence, it's a past that doesn't feel real yet it so is, it's a time capsule to when everything was better.

zaun is the rays of sun, the green grass; it's those overly saturated photos people associate with happiness; it's a place so happy, so full of life and love it feels like a child's first drawing of them and their family with a smiling sun in the corner.

zaun is the bright, hopeful music you listen to while on a walk; it makes you smile uncontrollably, makes you want to dance or sing along and get lost in this feeling, and nothing could ever ruin it.

zaun is a birthday bouquet of flowers. zaun is a melting ice cream on a hot summer day. zaun is the berries you collect in a cup while living outside of the city.

zaun is happiness. zaun is love.

and then you wake up. and you realize that this is what zaun was. you brush your hand against the dusty walls and chests. your sleeves get webs on them. the place feels like an old 1970s photo, sentimental feelings forever captured in warm brown colours.

you fix your blue hood. it was just a beautiful fever dream, that's all it was. everybody woke up long before you; you were the last one to open your eyes.

that beautiful, beautiful fever dream.

you will miss it.

you already do.

I love re-reading my favourite posts, and one of them is the sunkissed post of mine with your reblog. And the recent quote from Derap now makes me insane with those words you've said there.

"That kinda of young care free love before things got serious and outside forces changed them both." "This was a beautiful fever dream, that's what it was."

THESE SENTENCES TOGETHER. DUDE. tell me you see what I'm putting down.

I SEE THE VISION I GET WHAT YOUR PUTTING DOWN.

Zaun is forever so special to me as an arc and a physical location. Cause like, okay so both halves of sunkissed are rather seminal, but Derap in particular seems to miss Zaun more. He keeps going back to Zaun for important conversations, he kept building there long after the arc felt ‘over’. He loved it and now it’s over unceremoniously, so it’s a dream. Such a short blink in the grand scheme of the server, but still. Important to him.

And now he keeps looking back at it, as a time before Zam started being suspicious and they started fighting. It was almost too perfect. A few minutes after the beautiful fever dream quote, Derap says something about Zaun just being “Me and Zam hanging out” and like, that’s all Derap ever wanted. A teammate to hang out with. Someone to fight with, who would fight for him, and that’s the essence of Zaun. They only had eachother to rely on. Sunkissed versus the world. But now the dreams over and Zaun is left to collect cobwebs and dust.

Okay random rambling aside I just forever think of Zaun as like this honeymoon phase(which like it kinda was. They literally travelled right after becoming ‘teammates’). And idk I think they both think of it as someplace removed from the greater smp. Someplace theirs.

[rainyfey]

Can you draw jealous turbokarun… please… I need those type of momokarun crumbs.

Aaaaa friend I know that feel ;u; i hope these crumbs are ok, I feel the need to apologize because this isn't fluff like my last couple of posts;;; We didn't get to see much of Okarun losing control of the curse in the show and so I am like *fascinated* by the concept of the curse being, y'know, actually a curse and having some...negative side effects beyond general depression/apathy when he's transformed ✨️

This is also a little bit of a love letter to a certain chapter in Volume 7 of the Ancient Magus' Bride manga 💕

Sooo here's a little page I made up to explore that! Set at the end of Ep. 11. He's feelin some kinda way about Jiji suddenly showing up and, unfortunately, the curse's personality isn't as kind and good as our dear Ken...

Bonus doodle: fear not, Momo is fine~

[mikaikaika]

followed you for your analysis but now you're just a yaoi channel unfollowed

this ask is sending me all I can think is this