#the same is true for Elsa to a lesser extent

[hiccanna-tidbits]

This was the Vibe of old RotBTFD fandom when it was nigh impossible to find ANY content with Anna without Kristoff being tacked onto her -_____-

shoutout to everybody who's favorite character is heavily associated with a character they don't care about (or worse actively dislike) by majority of the fandom🥂🥳

[livingwithashipname-blog]

i used to love scorpion but it's become mediocre since the second half of season 2 bc all they've done is bait waige. tbh, it's not a good ship and maybe i'm biased bc i've headcanoned walter as aromantic (which would've worked much better in terms of his character since the show seems to be telling ppl with higher IQ that to find a place they belong they have to develop EQ to "evolve" when as a society, we should be accepting them and not making them fit in with us)

No offense anon, but…  Is there a question in this?  It’s unclear exactly what you’d like to discuss or know from me.  But I chose to take my time with this response in order to open a discussion within the fandom.  This isn’t a rant.  Lol!

I disagree with the notion that the show is telling its audience that high IQ, low EQ individuals have to develop EQ to evolve or fit into society.  This insinuates that the geniuses sacrifice their intellect in order to become less socially inept.  This is simply not the case.  One of the show’s core messages is to communicate the benefits of emotional intelligence in relation to one’s goals to share that intellect with the masses - learning to adapt without sacrificing identity.  The message is continuously addressed with Walter O’Brien because he is the genius with the lowest EQ, the creator of Scorpion, and uses his business as a hub for like-minded individuals with various skill sets.  

What makes us different from animals as humans is cognition - the ability to reflect on our thoughts and experiences and act on them to change ourselves and our environments.  Walter is not efficient at processing emotion to label it properly, meaning that he can not identify behaviors to which he can not relate.  This does not mean he can not emote, but the amount of EQ he gains over time is learned.  It does not derive from within.  The same is true of the other geniuses to a lesser extent.  (Elyes Gabel talked about this at the cast’s first SDCC appearance - Walter has an emotional vault that he struggles to access.)  Furthermore, Walter’s environment contributes to how well he can regulate his emotions.  In the show, Walter’s intelligence was fostered as a child through his work for the government.  But his emotional development was only fostered through Megan because she accepted him for his differences unlike his parents.  This is why he was so protective of her medical care and fought hard on an intellectual level to save her.  Since Walter’s emotional development is an arc for the entire series, his character will be written to show his successes and failures in various aspects of his life in relation to his life goals.  

As far as attraction is concerned, Walter could be written as aromantic in relation to his genius.  This would have been a great and intriguing development.  But various moments in the show suggest that Walter, at the least, is romantically attracted to women for now.  Therefore, his emotional intelligence will also have an impact on any romantic relationship he seeks to have given the show’s premise.  If you’ll indulge me, allow me to explain using recent scenarios from the show, present the conundrum that lies within fandom, and how that conundrum is capitalized in order to “bait” fans on Waige under the cut.  It’s long, so don’t say I didn’t warn ya! 😜

Examples from Canon

In episode 2.22 Hard Knox, the team mobilized to help Ralph win his court battle.  Ralph tried to explain his program’s functions to Walter, but he couldn’t understand Ralph’s approach.  Sadly, Walter projected his frustration over a problem he couldn’t solve in that moment onto Ralph.  This led to Ralph walking away feeling defeated and Paige threatening to quit.  When he realized the mistake in his behavior, he approached Ralph and said this, “what upset me is that you were willing to slow down for me to-to let me go down the wrong road, when that would’ve hindered you, because I couldn’t grasp your work.  Never hobble your intelligence for anyone… because if you do that in this garage, imagine what you’ll have to do out there… for humans.  The world needs to catch up to you… because if-if it can, just a little, imagine what a… a beautiful place it could be.”  This example is unique because it reinforces the show’s core message in IQ vs. EQ on the basis of intelligence, not emotion.

In 3.15 Sharknerdo, Walter argued with the client over the way he stated the service fee instead of accepting the fact that the client was not interested in learning the correct way to communicate $109,000.  This cost the team their job and dismantled the weeks of work Paige did to secure that contract.  Paige was rightfully frustrated because Walter couldn’t get like Elsa and let it go. 😂  Plus, it’s even more frustrating that Walter secured a new job on contingency, where payment is only guaranteed upon completion of services.  This is bad for Walter despite the fact that Paige is the liaison for several reasons: 1) he talked with the client in her absence, 2) he lost a job with a secured fee and replaced it with a less secure one (that’s not good business when you have employees to pay), and 3) he is the boss of Scorpion who makes the final decisions.  In Paige’s absence, he is the next point of contact for independent jobs (those not issued through Homeland Security).  This is the statute of limitations when it comes to his goals for Scorpion.  He has to acquire skill sets to make him more efficient at communicating with average/high EQ, non-geniuses if he wants to diversify his clientele to do more good in the world.  In other words, he has to learn and apply approaches on an EQ level to appeal to normals in order to get them to his level or create an equal playing field.  Another great example of this can be found in his interaction with the foreman in 3.14 The Hole Truth after his talk with Happy.  I apply the same tactic as a researcher.  I have to know my audience and how to address them in order to communicate my findings and spark interest.  If I do not, I limit my reach and open doors to miscommunication and misunderstanding.  

Also take into consideration instances where Walter has lied about facts in order to achieve the greater good.  Episode 2.04 Robots is a great example.  What’s also interesting about this episode and others in which this has happened is that Walter doubts the scope of his own emotional intelligence.  The same is seen with Happy Quinn whose EQ is closer to Walter’s.  If you have read any of my reviews, I talk about this doubt factor several times.  Walter and Happy have demonstrated emotional mastery in both their work and personal lives.  Their main issue is consistency outside the limitations their logical brains impose on their emotional functionality.  Yet overall, they improve each season.

This show is loosely-based on the real Walter O’ Brien, who is an executive producer.  If you ask him to choose between IQ and EQ, he will tell you, EQ over IQ, from his own personal experiences which has been infused widely throughout this show.  You can read that interview HERE and learn what he did to create the show.  It’s very enlightening!

Fandom Realities

Here’s the conundrum that stems from fandom.  (If you read the interview, then you already got a sense of what I am about to say.)  Scorpion is an action dramedy in two parts - personal stuff and mission stuff.  And these two elements are interchanged in every episode.  However, the majority of fan commentary on the show is about the romances first, the other personal storylines second, and the missions last.  This means the greatest pull, as far as spoilers and other marketing strategies are concerned, is information on the ships whether it’s through social media, press releases, or cast interviews.  The majority of fans don’t get excited over the missions (or else that would be reflected in fandom convo and creations).  Scorpion covers some real projects like the Chernobyl dome and the Svalbard Doomsday Vault (both of which are really cool btw).  And I am curious if an upcoming episode will take a note from a docu-drama on Mars that debuted on National Geographic.  Anyways, Waige is not canon and yet Waige-centric episodes receive behind-the-scenes exclusives on pop culture news sites like Entertainment Online.  Katherine McPhee and Elyes Gabel are sent out on press to talk about them.  You do not see similar treatment with the other ships because Waige is the main ship of the show.  All others are side ships, regardless how much exposure they get.  Quintis is highlighted in the storyline because the relationship is between two main characters, who are both high IQ, low EQ individuals, as opposed to Callie (RIP 💀) which is between a main and a guest, both of whom have average/high EQ.  

The showrunners, writers, cast have alluded and established in many ways that Waige is an endgame, slow burn otp.  The mystery lies in WHEN this will happen.  It would be stupid for them to reveal that information.  But they use episodes to answer that question for the fans.  As fans, we can choose to trust what is there to put our expectations in check or fall for the bait!  Besides, we get more receipts the more the writers use more than one episode to foreshadow.  If we don’t like what we see after some time, we have to determine what is the breaking point and move on or devise a new plan to indulge the content (e.g., skip episodes, binge later).  We also have to take into consideration that some decisions are in the hands of network execs.  At the end of the day, it makes no sense to engage in endless emotional masochism over something we no longer enjoy.  It’s silly!  But I digress.  If you want to know more about my theories on Waige, feel free to go to my page, type “the Waige flip” in the search engine, and read all about it.  As someone who ships Waige, I don’t have any questions on them until season 4, episode 12/13.

I will not argue whether Waige is a good ship or not because it’s not my place to police opinion.  What I will say is that Waige is an intriguing pairing because it is a relationship between a low EQ individual and a high EQ individual - a genius and a normal.  (Btw, high IQ, high EQ individuals exist - it’s a function of nature vs. nurture.  But that’s a topic for a different day!).  Melvester had the same dynamic, but the EQ gap between Megan and Sly was much less than that between Walter and Paige.  For this reason, Waige will always face unique challenges.  Like I said at the beginning of all this, Walter’s emotional development is a series arc and his triumphs and failures will extend to his personal life.  But one thing this show does well is communicate understanding in the team’s decisions, both geniuses and non-geniuses, whether you agree with their stances or not.  That’s necessary given the show’s premises!

If you’ve read up to this point, CONGRATS!!! You have survived another Emanda’s Inner Sanctum analysis/thought piece!  Toodles peeps! 😘✌🏾️

[terreisa]

The Savior and The Scoundrel: Can’t Go Home Again

Emma has had a few titles attributed to her in her life: princess, captain, pirate but none sat so heavily on her shoulders as Savior. When fate forces her to step into the role prophesied before her birth the only saving she wants to do is to bring back the man she loves. Fulfilling the Prophecy along the way is an additional reward. Sequel to A Crown and A Captain.

Prologue, Ch 1, Ch 2

ff.net, AO3

Grace turned out to be a wellspring of information.

As they walked one of the lesser traveled roads leading to Misthaven's castle Emma and Snow listened as she spoke of the things she had seen, not only in the months since Zelena's curse but over the years the witch had been ruling their kingdom. Many of the things Grace told them Emma had seen to some extent herself. The people fleeing the kingdom because of raids on their villages, of being unable to pay the taxes leveled by the Lords thriving under the Zelena's rule and coming close to starving as a result, and of those that died for nothing more than displeasing a black knight or for daring to speak their mind.

While Emma had known what transpired in the kingdom her mother had not and every tale seemed to strike her as if it were an arrow, leaving her bleeding and nearly prostrate from the volley of blows. She could tell Snow was willing to hear more but Emma knew that she wouldn't be able to bear it. Before Grace could launch into another tale of woe Emma hurriedly suggested that they make camp. The shorter days of autumn would have normally aggravated her when she was trying her hardest to reach a goal but she found it almost a relief that the sun was setting at an earlier hour. It would give her heart and mind that much more time to prepare herself before setting eyes on the castle.

"I'll see what game is still left in my woods," Snow said with what Emma knew was feigned enthusiasm.

"I shall have a fire ready for you when you return, Your Maje- I mean, Snow," Grace said, a dull flush reddening her cheeks.

"I'll get some water," Emma chimed in. "Best to do it now so we can be on our way first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yes, of course," Snow agreed quickly, passing over her water skin. She gave Emma a wan smile, "It'll be nice to drink our waters again. They were always the sweetest in the realm."

Before Emma could react Snow turned on her heel and walked quickly into the woods, her head held high but her hands clenched into fists.

"I shouldn't have spoken so freely," Grace murmured, sounding full of regret.

"You did nothing wrong," Emma said gently. "I'd already told her some of it but not everything. She would have found it all out sooner or later."

"But not from you?" Grace asked quizzically.

Emma looked down at the ground, hoping to avoid Grace's inevitable judgement, "No, not from me. I already broke her heart by growing up without her, I couldn't do it again by telling her how far her kingdom has fallen."

"That was Regina's doing, not yours," Grace spit out vehemently.

Surprised at the vitriol in her voice Emma looked up and saw a fire in Grace's eyes.

"There's something you've kept from us," Emma said narrowing her eyes. "What is it?"

"Nothing, Captain, I've held nothing back," Grace said resolutely, a stubborn tilt to her jaw.

Despite the lie Emma was impressed. Whatever Grace was hiding had made her into an excellent liar but not so great of one that Emma couldn't suss it out. It was a trick of hers, to be able to spot a lie no matter how inconsequential. She wasn't sure if it it was tied to her magic or not but she'd employed to her complete advantage as a pirate and even more so in finding true allies in her travels. It was why, among so many other tiny things, she had come to trust Killian. He had told her lies, of course, but they had never been intended to harm or coerce her into trusting him. If anything they had mostly been to protect her, aside from his early lies about who he truly was.

"You're lying," Emma said flatly. Only a slight tick in Grace's jaw indicated she was right as usual, "We can either dance around this until I have to make threats I don't want to make or you tell me now and save things from becoming awkward."

Planting her hands on her hips Emma watched as Grace wrestled with herself. Whatever it was Emma somehow knew it was something deeply personal, something that Grace had probably never truly shared with anyone else. She dropped her hands and started gathering wood for a fire in order to give Grace the time and space she needed.

"I don't really remember my mother," Grace started haltingly after a few moments. Emma looked up at her and saw she was hugging herself tightly, "She died when I was little and I never found out why, it hurt my father too much to talk about it. He raised me as best he could but we never had a lot, had to scavenge in the woods so we'd have enough to eat sometimes. We made do but we were happy. I was happy.

"Regina came one day when I was ten in her fancy carriage, reeking of wealth and power. Papa wasn't the same after she spoke to him. A few days after her visit he left promising he'd come back. I haven't seen him since."

As Grace took in a shuddering breath Emma did some quick calculations. She figured Grace's father had to have disappeared during the time Regina had been been on the throne, when her mother had been a bandit and her father a shepherd. Which meant she hadn't see her father for nearly thirty years making Emma's separation from her parents seem paltry in comparison.

"When I was old enough I tried to find him," Grace continued, "but it was as if he had vanished that day and even worse it felt as if he had never existed. I never gave up believing he would come home for tea, like he promised. Even after I stopped looking and moved on with my life.

"Your parents had brought Misthaven back to prosperity and things were good for a while. I married, had children of my own, a life I where I was happy. Then Regina came back."

Emma wanted to childishly cover her ears with her hands and refuse to hear the rest. She could see the pain and heartbreak washing over Grace in waves. Her only consolation was that Snow wasn't anywhere nearby to hear what she knew would inevitably come next.

"We didn't know what had happened until we woke up to the sound of Regina's men pounding on our door, demanding us to let them in. As soon as my husband opened the door they forced their way in. They wouldn't tell us what they were looking for. They just started searching our home, throwing what books we had out the door, dumping out anything that held more than a thimble's worth, upended every piece of furniture. When they grabbed our children to look under the bed they were on, that's when my husband had had enough.

"He didn't even have a chance to defend himself," Grace said, her breath hitching. "Both of the guards' swords were drawn and through him before he could take a single step. My children were screaming and I- and I could- couldn't ge- get to- to them!"

Grace broke down completely, dropping to her knees and curling into herself in her pain. Emma rushed to her side. She had heard similar stories over the years, too many of them, but they had always come from the mouths of others, never from the one who suffered personally. As she kneeled in the dirt with Grace desperately clinging to her in grief she felt the familiar stirrings of vengeance in her blood that she tried to tamp down. She was so upset for Grace and at her own weakness she nearly missed what Grace was gasping out repeatedly.

"They took them and I couldn't save them. They took them and I couldn't save them."

Emma's stomach dropped like a cannonball, "Your children? Grace? Grace did they take your children?"

"They were crying. I tried to get to them. I tried!" Grace pulled away from her suddenly and angrily dashed at the tears tracking down her cheeks. "One of them stabbed me while the other dragged my children away. I could hear them screaming for me as the guards left me to die.

"I was found much later, barely alive. By the time I was well enough to move on my own any trace of my children was gone and Regina had a stranglehold on the kingdom again. I have never stopped looking for them but in my travels I've found others who suffered as I had. We banded together, starting fighting back, growing in numbers as we began to find allies outside of Misthaven. I volunteered to find them and lead them, to band them together, with the hope that some word of stolen children would reach me.

"That's why I left," Grace paused and looked Emma dead in the eye. "I was also following the rumors, whispers really, that Captain Swan was really Princess Emma. That she, that you, were finally ready to fight for us.

"So I took my small band of people with me to Arendelle where you were last spotted. We missed you by a week. I sent nearly everyone on to Misthaven as intended while I remained behind to try and gain an audience with Queen Elsa. The day I was to meet with her was they day you returned and the people of Misthaven disappeared. I offered my services and I eventually ended up right where I had intended to be: by your side."

"And your kids?" Emma asked trying desperately to ignore the twitching of her fingers.

"They're not so much kids anymore, they're fifteen now," Grace chuckled humorlessly. "If Jack and Jill were in Misthaven they'll be wherever the rest of them have gone. Which is the true reason I wanted to remain with you. You're my best chance at finding my children."

"Why would you think that?" Emma questioned sharply as the twitches turned into tremors.

"Because of your family motto," Grace said simply. Emma stilled in surprise, "Everyone in the kingdom knows how your mother and father always found each other, no matter how often they were torn apart. Your father was in Misthaven when the curse happened. You and the Queen won't rest until you find him and everyone else."

"Don't let her hear you calling her Queen," Emma chided absently. She didn't know how to feel about the profound relief that Grace hadn't called her the Savior and instead distracted herself by standing and edging in the direction where she could hear a stream bubbling, "I should get the water."

"Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"What should I tell, um, Snow?" Grace nodded her head in the direction Snow had walked off in. "If she wants to know why I'm here?"

"The truth. You're looking for your children," Emma said solemnly. "She'll understand if you don't want to say anything more than that."

Grace gave her a grateful smile. Emma's one in return felt more like a grimace and she quickly escaped into the woods before Grace could start thanking her for things she wasn't sure she could accomplish.

The stream wasn't nearly as far as she hoped. Her thoughts were still a tangled mess when she broke through the brushes along the bank, nearly planting her foot in the burbling water. Without warning the memories of the last time she'd waded in a stream assaulted her. As the ghost of Killian's laughter sounded in her ears she plopped down onto the bank despondently.

Snow and Grace's belief in her was overwhelming after weeks of beating herself down and yet not enough after months of the unwavering faith Killian had shown in her. The were both certain that she'd find a way to restore everything, to bring the kingdom back to its former glory and reunite all the loved ones who had been forced apart. What they were less forthcoming with was an actual plan to accomplish anything. While Emma could admit that the castle was a good place to start but couldn't quite bring herself to get her hopes up that any answers would be waiting for them there.

Distractedly tossing pebbles into the stream she let herself go back over what Grace had told her. She had suffered not once but twice at the hands of usurpers to the kingdom. While Grace wasn't aware that two different women had been responsible for her misery Emma did and the ember of anger that she'd tried to snuff out earlier flared back to life.

Killian had told her once, challenged her really, that she wouldn't truly hurt him. That she didn't want his, or anyone's, blood on her hands. To an extent he had been right. She had let men go free when others would have killed them and be done with it. Yet she was also not so innocent to have spared every life that had hung in the balance at the tip of her sword.

She had once planned for Regina's blood to add to her already dripping hands. Her feelings on Regina had changed somewhat but not enough to not still ache for recompense. Zelena on the other hand held no such sway over her. It was only right that the witch pay for her atrocities the way Emma had intended Regina to pay for hers.

With a particularly vicious throw and the unsatisfactory plunk of stone in water she tried to ignore the voice that had once sounded like her mother, imploring her to remember that everyone deserved a second chance. To hear it in Killian's voice somehow made her feel like she was disappointing more than herself with her stubborn resolve for vengeance.

Emma picked herself up, knowing she'd spent far too long at the stream to merely be filling their water skins. After doing just that she took a moment to splash her face with the cold water. It felt remarkable against her heated cheeks and she made the decision to linger a bit longer to wash the dirt and remnants of sea salt from her face. She figured she'd suggest for Snow and Grace to do the same to waylay their concern for the length of her disappearance.

Dabbing the excess water from her face with the hem of her shirt she sighed knowing she'd keep finding excuses to remain at the stream if she wasn't careful. As she blinked away the stubborn drops clinging to her eyelashes a flash of light danced in front of her eyes quickly before disappearing. Confused by what could cause it she squinted, focusing closely on where it had been and was surprised when it flashed again to her left. She spun quickly to face it and was startled to find a large snowflake hovering a hairsbreadth away from the tip of her nose. Sighing she held out her hand and watched with trepidation as it floated down to land on her palm and instantly transformed into a missive from Elsa.

Emma, we agreed that you would have use of what resources Arendelle could provide with the promise that you would keep me informed of your movements. A simple 'found my mother, returning to our kingdom' is barely within the scope of our agreement, as you are well aware. I'm certain that when this reaches you, no matter how fast it flies, you will have already made headway into the heart of Misthaven but that does not absolve you of our understanding. Do not forget that the fate of your kingdom directly affects the fate of others in the realm.

I am glad you've found your mother, please don't think I'm not. I understand if you don't answer me at once but I will expect one of your birds when you reach the castle. Safe travels.

The moment Emma finished reading the letter dissolved into frigid water that cascaded through her shaking hands. She had known that Elsa wouldn't have been satisfied by her bare bones report but she hadn't expected to be reprimanded for it, let alone burdened once more with the knowledge that everything was on the line. Her refusal to fully shoulder the weight of the realm's fate had been a constant sticking point between the two of them. Elsa had never called her Savior outright but Emma knew she had bitten it back more often than not.

The worst part was she couldn't be angry with Elsa, not truly. While no one had dared to enter Misthaven with the purpose of taking control of the kingdom the absence of the people and their ruler left a massive void. Before Emma had left Arendelle trade between kingdoms had begun to suffer as well as tensions rising between allies that had seemingly only been friendly under Zelena's rule. A fact Emma had studiously ignored. Just as she had ignored the one time Elsa had implied that merely stepping onto the throne would suffice. That a figurehead was enough to quell the unrest even if the people she was meant to be ruling were still missing. Emma had stormed away from the table and refused to speak to Elsa for three days. Only Anna's pleading on her sister's behalf had convinced Emma that that idea had been abandoned completely.

After absentmindedly drying her hands on her already wet shirt she adjusted the water skins hanging from her shoulder and headed back towards where she had left Grace. The castle was still at least a day and half's walk away, she had time before she needed to respond to Elsa. Time she needed to ensure her words would ease worries and not cut to the bone.

The sun was sinking below the treeline when she spotted Grace through the trees. She had a decent sized fire going and Emma could faintly smell meat roasting over it. Grace shifted slightly revealing a seated Snow. Emma could see that while she was listening attentively to Grace she was also carefully scanning the forest, no doubt waiting for her return. Bolstering herself with a deep breath and curling her lips up into a passable smile she closed the distance between them.

"Emma!" Snow called out the moment she spotted her.

Emma felt her fake smile slip a little at the naked concern in her mother's voice. She wondered how quickly Snow had made her kills and rushed back to their camp only to find that she hadn't returned yet. Guilt flooded through her as she realized that, for Snow, the dread of being ripped apart once more most likely outweighed every other concern. Even if it would be to the detriment of her own safety.

"Sorry, I- uh- didn't realize how long I was gone," Emma said sheepishly. She hooked her thumb over her shoulder, "The stream isn't far if you want to go freshen up a bit."

"I think I will," Grace said, pulling Emma's attention away from her mother. Her eyes were red rimmed leading Emma to believe she needed more of an escape than a wash, "Feel free to start eating without me, though, I don't intend to be long."

"Nonsense," Snow said with a wave of her hand. Her brow furrowed momentarily, there and gone as fast as lightning, lost in an understanding smile, "We'll wait as long as needed. We won't be going any further tonight, right Emma?"

"Uh, no," Emma said swiveling her head to look between the two women. "This is as good a place as any to stay tonight. We still don't know what was left behind from the curse and I'd rather not be caught unawares in the dark."

Grace and Snow regarded their surroundings warily as Emma bit back a laugh. She was pretty sure the only fierce creatures around were the two rabbits on the spit over the fire. Her stomach grumbled in anticipation and she smiled sheepishly as the women looked at her with sharp eyes.

"Erm, sorry that was me," she said meekly, feeling heat rush into her cheeks.

"I'll just be quick about it then," Grace said with a laugh as she turned in the direction of the stream.

"Keep walking straight on, you can't miss it," Emma called after her, satisfied with the little wave thrown over Grace's shoulder.

"Will we make it there by tomorrow?" Snow asked feigning a casual air as she tended to the rabbits.

"Maybe," Emma said slowly. She was certain they could make it to the castle but she was less impatient than Snow to get there, "We'd have to leave at dawn and make no stops along the way. I'd rather not push ourselves that hard after being on the water as long as Grace and I have and with your imprisonment-"

"I can handle it," Snow said dismissively, an eager spark in her eye.

Emma was suddenly struck by the memory of Killian trying to temper her own eagerness to alight to Regina's castle to find her father. It twisted her mouth into a frown, at her own past behavior and her mother's present one.

"We'll go along as fast as the slowest of us is comfortable with. We'll get there Mom, no need to exhaust ourselves doing it."

Snow gave her a smile that was a little too wide with a nod of her head. She didn't want to push her mother into a fight over it so she let it go, settling on the log her mother was seated upon and watched the flames dance into the oncoming night.

In the end they reached the castle as the sun was setting the next day. Their quick arrival had been spurred on by the fast pace set by Snow, much to Emma's chagrin. She had tried to temper her mother's pace multiple times throughout the day but she had been rebuffed every time. In turn Grace had told them more about what happened in the kingdom during their absence to fill the silence as they walked. The tales were lighter than the ones she had told the previous day. Emma wasn't sure if it was for their peace of mind or her own.

The first glimpse of the castle brought her up short. It had been in the dead of night when she had first returned with Killian but even in the darkness of that night the grandeur of her childhood home had remained. The stone structure on the water below their lookout only brought the word decimated to her mind. Towers had collapsed, as had several walls, she could see scorch marks from where a fire had licked at the lintels of several broken windows, and it looked as though the high bridge leading to the front gate was barely connected to the shore.

As much as the sight caught her by surprise Emma pushed down the heartache as she began to figure out how they would get into the castle. The door she had used to sneak in with Killian was only accessible from the bridge and the secret entrance she'd used years before to escape Zelena could only be reached by a boat they didn't have.

"How?" Snow gasped out.

"The curse, Zelena cast it in the library," Emma said, dismayed to see her mother blinking back tears. "We saw what it did to the harbor and it's leagues away. The castle didn't stand a chance."

"With that much damage it'll be a miracle if we find anything of use to us," Grace said dejectedly, scowling as her eyes scanned over the castle.

"No," Snow said vehemently. "I refuse to believe that there is nothing here for us. We have to have hope."

"Without a boat we'll have to swim to the door," Emma sighed, not willing to admit she agreed with Grace. "I'd like to wait until tomorrow though. The water won't be freezing but it won't be anywhere close to warm either."

"Maybe we don't have to swim," Snow cast out a bit wildly. "We don't know how damaged the bridge is. It could still be somewhat passable!"

"Mom-"

"Or perhaps there's a boat hidden along the shoreline-"

"Mom," Emma interrupted quickly before Snow could lose herself in her fervor. "I know you feel that all the answers will be in there but we can't risk trying to find a way in when it'll be dark soon."

"You don't even want to try? Emma, we're here now and we can find a way in. We still have time before the sun fully sets."

"No!" Emma's voice rang out, startling all three of them and a flock of birds that erupted out of a bush to her right. She gestured angrily at the ruins of the castle, "I will not risk our safety by rushing in there without having an idea of what could be waiting for us. Not again!"

"Emma," Snow said brokenly.

"We make camp tonight and figure out our way in tomorrow morning," Emma said forcefully in a tone that brokered no argument. "Grace, I want a fire going by the time I return. Gather what berries or edible plants you can find, we don't know the state the kitchens will be in."

"Yes, Captain," Grace said agreeing to the orders quietly.

"Emma-" Snow repeated softly.

"Not now. Just… not now," Emma said harshly. "I'll be back soon."

Resolutely ignoring the look of hurt on Snow's face she marched forward, not quite at a run but close enough. She hated herself for pulling rank and then storming of in a tantrum. It was something her sixteen year old self had done often until Granny and Red had broken her of the habit. Being back with her mother in the shadow of their ruined castle had her falling back into her old ways.

As she crashed noisily through bushes with no destination in mind she was well aware that the true reason she had become so upset had nothing to do with Snow's insistence to find a way in that day. Seeing the place where Zelena had so thoroughly defeated her, the terrifying destruction of the ancient stone edifice, and not knowing where the curse had taken the people she loved had broken her. Emma wanted to do nothing more than to take a bite of a poisoned apple or prick her finger on a cursed spindle and sleep until the nightmare she had found herself in was over. The fact that only a True Love's kiss would wake her only heightened the appeal, because then she would open her eyes to the glitter in Killian's cerulean ones.

Emma gritted her teeth against the emotions that welled inside her. She couldn't afford to let herself drift into a void of pain and heartache. The other women were counting on her to lead them and to do that she needed a clear head. Even if the gaping hole in her chest where her heart should be was almost impossible to ignore.

When she found herself standing at the water's edge she wasn't surprised her feet had led her there. Despite it being a lake and not the sea the expanse of water before her still calmed her. From her spot at the shore the damage to the castle looked insubstantial, even the bridge looked whole, and she sank to the sand feeling her turbulent mind beginning to settle. Watching the tiny waves lap at the toes of her boots she was suddenly sick and tired of her heartbreak catching her off guard.

"Emma, sweetheart?"

She closed her eyes hoping for patience as she listened to Snow approach and then sit down beside her. While she was glad her fit of pique hadn't upset her mother she did wish she could have had a few more moments to herself.

"When I was hiding from Regina I stayed as far away from the castle as possible. I told myself it was because it wasn't safe, that I could be killed, but deep down I knew," Snow sighed. Emma opened her eyes and found her mother staring off at the castle. "I knew that I couldn't bear seeing it and knowing I couldn't walk through the gates like I had hundreds of times before into my father's arms where he would tell me that everything was going to be fine.

"I didn't even realize I might never see it again when the Huntsman had taken me out into the woods to kill me. I stayed away to preserve the good memories I had and you've stayed away to keep the bad memories from consuming you. But, sweetheart, staying away doesn't keep the pain away too, it makes itself known before long."

"I'm so tired of feeling like this," Emma whispered, afraid to speak any louder. "There were a lot of shitty things that happened to me, but when I was with Killian it didn't seem to matter as much. I was really, really happy and now? Now I just want it to stop hurting."

Snow made a noise of sympathy in the back of her throat before wrapping her arms around her. Emma let herself fall into the comfort of her mother's arms but her eyes remained dry. In the short months since the curse she had cried more than she had since she was sixteen. She wasn't sure if she had any more tears to give.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I took a potion to stop feeling the way you do now, to forget my pain?" Snow asked, sitting up but keeping an arm around her.

"What? No!" Emma said with a touch of accusation. She thought she knew all of her mother's stories. "Was it because something happened to Dad?"

"Yes," Snow sighed sadly. "Your grandfather had forced me to choose between breaking your father's heart or putting a death sentence on his head. The decision was an easy one to make. I already had the potion, a deal I made with the Dark One and even though I had promised Grumpy I wouldn't I took the potion in a moment of weakness anyway. Not only did I forget the heartache but I forgot what it was to love altogether."

Emma listened fascinated as Snow weaved her tale. To hear that her mother had come a hairsbreadth away from killing Regina only to be stopped and saved by her father intercepting the arrow aimed to kill was a shock. Snow had always stressed the importance of second chances, of not sentencing someone without just cause. The revelation made her squirm as her own plot for revenge floated to the forefront of her mind.

"Don't worry, Charming wasn't too badly hurt," Snow chuckled, misinterpreting Emma's discomfort. "He only ever brought it up to tease me. That and the scar from the rock I hit him with when we first met.

"It's okay that you feel the way you feel, sweetheart," Snow continued solemnly. "You can be mad or scared or upset but don't let your emotions make your decisions for you. I shouldn't have pushed you to try and get into the castle tonight, I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize," Emma said with a gentle shake of her head. "I was exactly the same way when I found out Dad was being held at Regina's palace. It didn't end very well for any of us."

"So we'll wait for tomorrow to find our best way in," Snow said decisively, squeezing her shoulders in emphasis.

"At dawn?" Emma asked wryly.

"No, I think we've earned a little bit of a lie in don't you?"

Emma laughed remembering how Snow would say the same thing at the end of a ball or after a hard day of training and even after visits from boring royals. To hear it said again as the velvety darkness of night slowly obscured the broken castle from their view was like a balm on her aching heart.

"If you insist," Emma said good naturedly. She hooked her thumb over her shoulder, "Grace didn't mind you taking off after me?"

"Of course not," Snow said with a touch of incredulity. "She even offered to hunt so we could have time to talk. I'm glad she came with us."

"Me too," Emma agreed. She sighed, "She's been through some rough storms but she hasn't given up hope."

"And neither will we," Snow said decisively, getting to her feet. "Let's see if we can't find something to add to our dinner."

They returned to their temporary camp to find a fire burning and Grace dividing up berries similar to the ones they had gathered themselves. Along with the small grouse Snow had killed earlier it made for a meager meal. One made better by the light, almost frivolous talk they engaged in until the fire had begun to burn low and their eyes closed for longer and longer stretches of time. Emma crawled into her bedroll half expecting to listen to the sounds of the forest and her companions breaths as she laid awake through the night dreading the morning. She was asleep before she had a chance to return her mother's soft 'good night'.

Despite Snow's leniency she was up with the sun the next morning. Emma was surprised she had slept through the night with her nerves about what they would find left behind in the castle, but she figured the emotional exhaustion she'd been through had finally caught up with her. Reluctant as she was to leave her warm bed roll she felt a restlessness, an itch under her skin to do something, even if it was merely rebuilding their fire from the somehow still glowing embers and setting up their small pot filled with water to boil.

It wasn't long before Grace and Snow began to stir, grunting and sighing as they woke. Snow joined her by the rekindled fire first, yawning as she gazed blearily at the flames. There were deep purple shadows under her eyes. Clearly her mother hadn't been able to sleep as easily as Emma had.

"Rough night?" Emma asked softly, her breath clouding in the cold morning air.

"Old nightmares," Snow said, staring at the fire for a long moment before turning to give her a tired smile. "I'll be fine."

Emma was curious as to what dark dreams from her mother's past could be haunting her again. Were they similar to her own of losing her loved ones from a heart crushed mercilessly in a fist or were they something worse? As much as she wanted to question Snow about it she was relieved when Grace dropped down, shivering, beside her. Digging into her mother's nightmares would surely lead to talking about her own and Emma wasn't prepared to delve into her own bad dreams.

"Since we're awake I guess we can start scouting out our way in. If it turns out we do have to take a swim I'd prefer to wait until midday. It might not make the water any warmer but at least we'll have a chance to dry out in the sunlight," Emma said with a shiver that wasn't entirely for dramatics.

"I think we should take a look at the bridge first then," Grace suggested. "I didn't get a good look at it last night but the damage might not be as bad as we fear. It will also take a good portion of time to get there and back, which will place us at the lake shore at the moment we intend to be there."

"I agree," Snow said as the haunted look in her eyes started to recede. "Though I wouldn't mind a little breakfast before we begin. A poached egg, rashers, roasted potatoes, and a loaf of fresh baked bread with a bit of honey should suffice."

Snorting in amusement Emma dug through her pack and pulled out the block of tea she'd squirreled away from Elsa's ship, "I hope hardtack and the berries from last night are a good enough substitute because that's all we've got."

"It'll do I suppose," Snow sighed imperiously before a genuine smile crossed her face. "It is a bit more than I had my first few weeks on the run from Regina, though. I don't think I had a real cup of tea for almost a year."

"Six months," Emma said as she recalled that first heavenly sip after so long without.

"I stopped drinking it after my father disappeared," Grace said absentmindedly. Then, as if she realized she'd spoken aloud, she turned a bright red, "Sorry."

"Don't be," Snow said quickly. "Giving up something because the memories hurt too much is understandable. It's not giving up completely that matters."

Even though Snow was speaking to Grace Emma couldn't help but feel like the words were directed towards her. She grimaced and focused on chipping off enough of the tea for herself and Snow into the boiling water. It was too early in the morning for one of her mother's encouraging speeches, even if it was comforting to hear.

The bridge was in even worse shape than Emma had feared. From a distance it had seemed as though there was a possibility of it being passable, dangerous of course, but passable. The reality was that nothing more than one of the low guard walls spanned the large gap between the solid remnants of the stone platform. It was crumbling before their very eyes as they looked at it with dismay and frustration. Emma wondered if she would have been able to fix it with a snap of her fingers at one point but knew it was nothing more than a false hope. She was more likely to demolish what remained instead.

Their trek down to the lake shore was fraught with quiet displeasure. Emma knew that with their luck they wouldn't stumble across a boat or even a piece of wood large enough to support the weight of their packs. She was sure that Grace and her mother weren't looking forward to the cold swim but she doubted they realized that one of them would have to remain behind.

"It's not that far," Snow said with a tilt of her head to gaze at the base of the castle. Without turning she asked, "Is this how you got away?"

"Yeah," Emma answered quietly. "All those times you made me practice gave us the advantage we needed to escape."

"I had hoped you'd never need to implement it," Snow sighed. She gave her a tremulous smile over her shoulder, "Well, this water isn't going to get any warmer. Shall we?"

"I'll remain behind, Captain," Grace volunteered, surprising Emma.

"What? Of course you won't. You've come this far and we expect you to remain with us until we find your children again. There could be answers for you just as there could be answers for us in that castle," Snow argued.

"You mistake me, Your Majesty," Grace said, an embarrassed flush staining her cheeks for the second time that morning. She squared her shoulders, "I'm not abandoning you but I'm also not a very strong swimmer. Someone was going to have to stay with our belongings and I'm the most logical choice. There's nothing compelling me to immediately venture into the castle. I can wait for a boat to be found."

"I don't know how long we'll be," Emma said, looking between Grace and the castle.

"I can build a fire and possibly catch a fish or two," Grace said with a shrug. "In fact I might end up being better off for staying here than discovering what's to find in there."

"Are you sure?" Snow asked skeptically.

"Yes. If there are clues for me to find I don't want to risk drowning before I have a chance to discover them."

"I'm surprised you volunteered to sail with me," Emma said, her brow raised.

"I've done many surprising things on the journey to reunite with my children," Grace said cryptically but with a small smile. "It helped that you are a capable captain."

"Right," Emma cleared her throat, caught off guard by the compliment. "Hopefully we'll be able to get you within an hour or so."

"No need to rush on my account," Grace assured her. She turned to Snow, "I promise I'll be fine, Your Majesty."

"I thought I told you to call me Snow," her mother scolded gently.

"A habit I can't seem to break," Grace said with a small laugh.

Emma joined her as she sat in the sand and began to remove her boots. She had a length of waterproof cloth to wrap them and her sword in but it meant leaving the rest of it behind. Snow followed her lead but seemed hesitant to leave her bow and quiver behind. In the end she settled for a short knife that Grace had been carrying and that Emma wrapped up in the cloth as well.

The water was far colder than she had anticipated, immediately numbing her toes as she and Snow waded into the lake. When she was little they had only swum in the lake at the height of summer when the sun was merciless with its bright heat and the air was heavy with clouds that could only be felt. To willingly enter the water that was mostly snow melt when they were on the cusp of winter felt like madness to her. By the time she was chest deep the only thing that mattered was making it to the base of the castle without sacrificing her fingers or toes to frostbite.

They pulled themselves onto the rocky embankment an indeterminable amount of time later. Snow's lips were tinged blue but Emma could barely wonder if her own were the same as she fought against the shivers that were wracking her body. The sunshine seemed weaker than it had on the far shore and a wind had picked up stealing what warmth it could have provided.

"I could have sworn the water was never this cold," Snow said through chattering teeth.

"You never swam in it," Emma huffed out as she rubbed her numb hands up and down her arms trying to create any kind of heat.

"Now I remember why," Snow scowled at the water before looking at her hesitantly, "Do you… do you think you will be able to dry our clothes?"

Emma's hands faltered on their path to her elbows. She hadn't told her mother anything about her faltering magic, embarrassed and angry that it was still out of her control. Snow had always been observant and Emma was almost ashamed that she had forgotten that about her.

"I can try."

Unsure if her hand was shaking from the pervasive cold or the affliction of attempting magic she hovered it at her own shoulder first. If something were to go wrong she didn't want Snow to suffer because of it. Closing her eyes Emma concentrated, carefully and singularly, on drying her clothes. She pictured a sunnier day in her mind, the wind a gentle caress, linens and clothing rippling gently on a clothes line as they warmed to dryness under the sun's rays. Slowly she felt herself warming up, her shirt and trousers no longer clinging to her skin in cold dampness. When she opened her eyes she found Snow smiling widely at her and the puddle of water under her bare feet the only thing indicating she had clambered out of the lake moments before.

"Wonderful, sweetheart!" Snow said proudly, even as she shivered. "I'm so proud of you."

Not wanting to break her concentration Emma only nodded slightly as she raised her hand to Snow and closed her eyes again. She held the same images and feelings in her mind as she slowly moved her hand down, hovering over the length of her mother's body. Even when she was done, her hand hanging limply at her side, she kept her eyes closed until she felt Snow's hand on her shoulder.

"I would have swam in the lake more if this was how we dried off after."

Choking out a laugh as she opened her eyes she was caught off guard as Snow pulled her into a hug. Somehow it warmed her even more than successfully using her magic had.

After pulling on their boots and securing their weapons at their waist Emma led the way to the secret entrance. Unlike the one she'd used to sneak into the castle with Killian no one but Emma or her parents could find it, let alone see it. It was why Snow had had Emma practice an escape route time and again, no one else would have been able to lead the way. Only muscle memory and knowing where to go with her eyes closed had saved them when Zelena had swooped down on the castle.

She had no idea if the cloaking magic still held, it had always looked like a door to her, one that still looked solid enough. Snow seemed to stop breathing behind her as she caught sight of the door. Emma's hand was steady as she reached out to open it, watching as it swung inward on somehow still well oiled hinges. She grabbed the torch that was inside the door and carefully focused on using her magic to light it, having left her flint back with Grace. With one final look at Snow she stepped inside and into the dungeons.

They moved through the chilling darkness quickly. Emma didn't want to dwell on the idea that her father had been kept there for any length of time or that the cells were now empty. She ignored the large gilded mirror that was standing in the cell closest to the stairs leading up into the castle. Snow followed close behind, close enough that Emma heard her choke back a sob upon seeing the mirror herself.

Even without their footsteps echoing throughout the halls or the clouds of dust being stirred up by their movements it was painfully apparent that they were alone. She could almost taste it in the air, a stale, heavy emptiness that existed apart from the dust motes dancing along the sunbeams. There wasn't time for a thorough inspection of each room or even each floor so she grimly led the way to the library cataloging each broken sigh and hesitant step her mother made as they went.

They were both unprepared for the devastation that greeted them when they forced the library doors open. No books remained on the shelves that were still standing and the ones littering the floor were no better than piles of ashes surrounded by scorched leather bindings. She hadn't paid attention to location of the soot on the outside of the castle, if she had she wouldn't have agreed to return to the castle at all. Anything that could have been of use to them appeared to be beyond salvageable. The only thing left seemingly unscathed was the large cauldron sitting pristine among the detritus, mocking Emma with its wholeness.

"Maybe- maybe there's something left," Snow said tremulously. "We just need to look carefully. Let's go get Grace-"

"There is nothing left for us to find," Emma growled whirling on Snow. "It's all gone, burned to NOTHING!"

"What about the rest of the castle? Maybe Zelena kept something about the curse in her chambers or- or maybe somewhere else, like in the Dark One's cell. We just can't give up!"

"Say that again," Emma said calmly. All her thoughts had ground to a halt, "About the Dark One. Say it again."

"There might be something in his cell," Snow repeated slowly, almost fearfully.

Emma didn't wait to hear another word. She tore back the way she and Snow had come, stirring up more dust as she sprinted down the corridors. There were mirrors on practically every wall, most likely in every room, but there was only one she wanted to use. One that she thought she could.

She skidded to a halt in front of what would have been her father's cell. Without thought she opened the door with a wave of her hand and placed herself in front of the mirror that stretched from floor to ceiling. She had no idea how mirror magic worked but she didn't care. With another wave of her hand she focused on looking into the Dark One's cell.

It was on one of the furthest edges of their kingdom. Exactly where Emma didn't know but far enough away that the curse might not have touched it. She concentrated harder than she had when she had dried her and Snow's clothes, even more precisely than when she had escaped Zelena's curse in a cloud of white smoke. Her eyes remained open as her reflection shimmered and disappeared to show a prison where the bars were thick spikes and the walls were roughly carved out of rock. It looked like a fitting place to keep the most dangerous magic wielder in the realm.

Emma dropped to her knees, grasping the edges of the mirror to keep herself upright. The cell was empty. She knew she had been grasping at a false hope that he would have been there for her to question, to force answers out of, but to see only iron and stone in the glass before her was too much.

When Snow found her she wasn't entirely sure if she had broken the mirror with her magic or her fists. The only thing she was sure of was that finding Killian had become a near impossibility.

If you’d like to be tagged so you don’t miss future chapters let me know.

Tagging: @teamhook, @galadriel26