#the way food and money and disability and eating disorder recovery all intertwine is very unpleasant and I hate it Actually
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#i already know I'm going to be too tired to cook tonight#I'm flaring up pretty hard and i feel like I'll have the spoons to manage work + commute without tears lmao but beyond that...........#and I do not have much money left for the month but I'm thinking if i get delivery then at least I've eaten and saved some energy#because then I've got work tomorrow too 😭#life is a neverending hamster wheel aough#bc i could go to the shops for groceries but thats a 15 min walk on top of everything else and i dont think i can make it#and there's no leftovers........#why do i not meal prep when i know I'm going to get like this argh#so many problems could be solved by me growing a brain cell#ok im justifying it to myself It's fine i can afford it just about i need to stop punishing myself for wanting fairly basic things#the way food and money and disability and eating disorder recovery all intertwine is very unpleasant and I hate it Actually#gonna save myself the energy and future me will be pleased#there's only one place that delivers this far out so ig im getting indian#daal 🤤#just got to try and not drive myself insane with guilt over it argh
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