#so many problems could be solved by me growing a brain cell

[stressfulsloth]

.

[lilolpotato]

Chemicals

In which Miya Atsumu slowly poisons his girlfriend’s mind, and Suna Rintaro gives her the antidote

Warnings: Toxic behavior, body shaming, like 2 swear words

Genre: ANGST

At first it was small. That’s how it always starts, really.

You both had started dating recently, and you were in the honeymoon phase.

He would constantly make you blush, never failing to compliment you.

“Princess! If you were an angle you would be an aCUTE angle” he would wink, before hugging you and telling you how beautiful you looked that day.

Maybe it was wishful thinking or naivety, but those days you thought you both would never break up.

You spent summer nights in his muscular arms, dreaming about how handsome he would look in a suit, about the words he would say as you’re getting married, about how his face would look when he sees you in your wedding dress.

You got late on your way to the gym, he was going to walk you home like always.

You decided to just buy him a snack instead of making one like you would usually

His eyebrows creased in disappointment when you handed him the snack you bought

“You seriously bought it?”

Atsumu was too consumed in taking out his frustrations to notice your eyes growing sad

But he played it off like a joke later, and apologized.

He made excuses that he was tired from practice, or that he was frustrated with his last test grade

“Sorry princess, I swear I didn’t mean it. You know I’m grateful for how supportive you are!” He whined, “I love you, I wouldn’t change you.”

With a kiss on the lips, the incident was forgotten.

The next time he got angry was when you were late to a date

Your were stuck at the store, getting yourself some band-aids because you fell and it was bleeding, but the line was very long

It wasn’t an anniversary or an important or particularly expensive place, but it still made him angry.

You walked in half an hour late, bruises and scrapes all over your arms and legs looking like you’d just gone through hell, with a smile

You expected your Tsumu to fuss over you, give you kisses, and tell you everything was gonna be okay.

“Is this you trying to get me back for getting mad at you when you bought me that shitty snack instead of making me something? You know, all of my past girlfriends would make me delicious bentos and take care of me the right way.”

Your face dropped.

He dragged his hands through his golden hair, and the eyes that you fell in love with became eyes you were intimidated by

That day you cleaned your wounds on your own, trying to tell yourself that he shouldn’t have been that angry

But when you looked inside your heart, all you found was love and guilt.

The next day at his practice, you brought a bento you had spent hours working on, bandaids everywhere and your Tsumu apologized and moved on.

“Sorry babe, I was frustrated with practice. Love ya, bye.” He said nonchalantly.

A peck on the lips and the incident was forgotten.

You sat at the bench cheerfully, watching the team, happy that your problems were ‘solved’

Fox-like eyes noticed all your scrapes and bruises, and he sat next to you during breaks in practice, the same breaks Atsumu used to talk to his teammates and fan girls, and he asked you if you were okay.

While your Tsumu should have been consoling you, Suna was fussing over you, telling you everything was going to be okay, as your fake cheerful attitude dropped. His fists clenched as you tearfully admitted how Atsumu felt about your shortcomings as an s/o

That day, and the days after that, Suna Rintaro acted more like a boyfriend than your Tsumu did, despite your Rin only being your best friend.

Atsumu would say, “Babe, are you wearing make up? You know I like your natural look.”

And your Rin would assure you, “You look stunning no matter what you put on your face” with a tiny grin and adoring eyes.

“Hey, princess? Can you put on some make up? Your skin is looking irritated today.” Atsumu would advise.

Your Rin would disagree, shaking his head, “Even if your skin ‘looks irritated’ or whatever, who said that’s a bad thing? You should put whatever you want on your face, sweetheart, don’t listen to him.” And you would tease your Rin for being cheesy.

Atsumu would look at you in surprise,“You can’t fit into the dress I bought you? Maybe you should lose some weight, my ex was a size zero, but don’t worry, I won’t expect you to get there in a day!”

Your Rin would tell you, “I think you look beautiful, size 0 or size 100! Is there a size 100?” You would laugh together as he grumbled that talking to you was making him lose brain cells.

His foxlike eyes watched you, as he admitted to himself that he would make himself look stupid however many times if it made you laugh like that.

Atsumu would critique, “You should eat more. You’re looking pale these days, it’s kind of bothering me.”

And your Rin snapped at him that day, saying “I think your girlfriend can very much choose what she wants to put in her body.”

Atsumu only shrugged and continued munching on the bento you had painstakingly made for him

Your Rin looked at his bento in envy

Osamu would only give you a small apology whenever he heard Atsumu say something mean to you.

He didn’t know you very well, but he did know that you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. However, he wasn’t aware of how often Atsumu would insult you.

As the days went by, you noticed a difference between your Tsumu and Atsumu.

Atsumu hurt you. Atsumu scolded you for your mistakes. Atsumu made you question whether you were good enough to be his girlfriend.

Your Tsumu would never make you feel that way. To your Tsumu, you were a treasure, and he was grateful to keep you.

You and your Rin were walking on the grounds, because Atsumu was mad at you again.

“You’re talking to Suna too often!” He had huffed angrily, “Don’t be such a slut! He’s my best friend, don’t lead him on like that. Are you cheating on me?”

You convinced yourself that things will get better, that it was only Atsumu’s insecurities making him angry and hurtful so often.

The final dose of poison was when he fed some of the bento you had made to one of his fangirls.

They had asked for a taste, eyes sparkling, taking about how Atsumu and Osamu always had the best bentos.

So Atsumu took the chopsticks he was using, the same ones that his lips were on, and used it to feed that girl.

He was unaware that you were tearfully watching, your Rin at your side, your heart officially broken.

You walked up to him, asking him how could you do that, how could you hurt me like this?

But he scowled angrily, and those eyes, the same eyes you were once in love with, the eyes you were scared of, glared at you with so much hatred your knees almost went weak.

And after he said, “So now ya understand how it feels?” in such a petty way, the tears you’ve been holding back for so long finally came bursting forth, and so you told him, “I’m done.”

His eyes widened in realization, and before he could say anything, you finally stood up for yourself.

Because then, you told him what he’d been doing to you as the fangirl and your Rin, your currently seething Rin, watched.

“You’re poison, Miya Atsumu. You tell me to lose weight, so I starve myself. You tell me I’m a slut, that I’m not good enough. You’ve told me that I’m not pretty enough without make up, that I shouldn’t wear make up. I foolishly followed because I loved you!” You stomped your foot in frustration of your past actions.

And you walked away.

You walked to your Rin, the one who treated you how you deserve to be treated.

Because you deserve better.

Atsumu only watched helplessly as your Rin put his muscular arm around you, as you leaned on his chest, as you walked away.

Miya Atsumu isn’t the one who gets dumped, he’s the one doing the dumping.

He tried to convince himself, delude himself that it wasn’t his fault but he knew it was.

Tears fell from his once scary eyes, years later, as he looked at the wedding invitation.

You’re invited to the wedding of L/n Y/n and Suna Rintaro

He never deserved you, he poisoned you, and now that the poison doesn’t have anywhere to go, it ended up consuming him.

Miya Atsumu, professional volleyball player and playboy, sat in the corner of his apartment with sobs racking his body as he cried over his mistakes and everything he’s lost.

[dialovers-translations]

Hello! I'm here just to share my "unpopular opinion" (I think?) about Yui. First of all, no hate on her! I know that in a way she's a badass, she's strong and good and... alright she's a queen okay!? BUT, if there's one thing that I find annoying about her is her... stupidity (and benevolence)? She's a big dummy, honestly, and I wish they made her a bit smarter, not smarter than the boys (they wouldn't enjoy it), but at least as smart as them. But when I say smart, I am not only talking about the typical "smart person" (aka Ruki) that solves problems in a fast and original way, but the ability to "read people, to know when they're messing up with you". Let me explain- there's a diaboy that tricks Yui in some way, obviously Yui falls for it and the diaboy then makes fun of her/ torments her and blablabla. Now, the diaboy does the SAME trick some days later... But she still falls for it!! WHY!? That's one of the things that I don't like about her, because no matter how many times they trick her into something she'll never learn, she doesn't "grow" in a sense.

Also, some people may think that she's smart because she acts all meek and quiet with the diaboys, making it seem like she does that on purpose, like- "I'm gonna act as a little angel around them so that the probability of being killed will drastically diminish." I wish the creators made her that way, it would have been soo spicy 🔥 (don't know if she could have tricked them though, especially Laito ahaha). But it's not that, she does act that way not because she's scheming something to survive or whatever, but because she's just TOO GOOD 😊!!

Anyway, as you can see, I don't really like her as a character, no hate on her though, I know she's strong and did the impossible with these boys, but i find characters like her flat, boring and annoying. Because they're unrealistic, NO ONE in the real world can be this good, but MC are always pure, dummy little girls with a strong sense of justice. Name one MC that's a grey character and could do really bad things for "x", because I don't know (well, maybe Yui from Kanato's ending, I actually like that version of her).

Alright, that's all. Thanks for your time and sorry for my English, it's not my mother tongue

That's fair!

I obviously like these type of characters since my OC is very similar in the sense that she has one brain cell at times and can be very easily tricked. xDD (Even though she's a DL OC now, I created her long before I got into DL so she's not based off Yui at all.)

[thewritingbasil]

First time writing and publishing something like this! I hope you enjoy!

Chrome x modern!Reader

* When you find out Chrome goes out to explore on his own and lives outside the village, you worry about who will notice if something goes wrong. Since you’re curious and also love discovering things and can’t sit still in the village for a long time, you tell Chrome about the modern-day buddy-system idea and start joining him on his expeditions.

* He’d love to take you exploring and show all the exciting things he discovered! He’s never had an exploring buddy before, and while Senkuu does appreciate what he finds, Senkuu spends more of his time creating blueprints and solving problems in the lab and using what he has available, not looking for things that will maybe be helpful in the future. That’s why he trusts Chrome and, now, you to have an eye for materials that will help the Kingdom of Science grow

* At first Chrome has a lot to teach you, like how to notice materials, where to walk, and how to keep track of time and your location especially since you need to get used to not having a cell phone.

* But eventually you become a great explorer in your own right and he has a lot of trust in you as his partner. In fact, he ends up trusting you a lot when the buddy system helps out, like when he once experienced a small cave-in or when he needed emergency first aid.

* You also find things he overlooked because you both tend to look in different directions when you’re searching.

* He loves that someone else shares his love of exploring with him. When he used to search alone, it was very isolating and he could get lost in his head while walking. Now, you remind him about food and he’s willing to take slightly greater risks when trying to reach somewhere because he’s got you as an extra pair of hands and eyes and brain.

* The combined haul is also bigger, which he gets super excited about. You both chatter to each other and compare stashes when you’re organizing what you found into different baskets at the end of the day.

* When Senku compliments you both on the materials found, Chrome proudly grins at you.

* Chrome isn’t just an explorer though, he’s a scientist which means he can’t spend all his time exploring with you. He goes to work with Senkuu while you help out elsewhere because, buddy system! You’re not going on your own.

* If you’re also working in another group like crafts or the power group, you go for a period of time without seeing him because you’re working on different projects.

* However! During your trips, you both became used to showing each other your finds and communicating when working in different sections to know how each other is doing

* He also appreciated the conversations you would bring about the modern world and about yourself, and how you were eager to learn about himself and his village. So he gets used to that routine of you being there to converse with.

* Chrome ends up talking with you during breaks about what the each of you are doing and exciting progress reports and how the materials you found are being put to use. Both of you get excited learning that something you’ve found has a cool scientific purpose/property and you invite each other to stop by and watch it in action.

* He loves seeing your eyes light up in amazement as you watch and praise his work.

* When you show him your group’s work, it’s not as science-y but he acknowledges your skill and hard work and he is also a craftsman and not too strong so whether you’re in the crafting group or power group, you still impress him. He’s not shy about praising you and gives you high fives or says “Baaaad!” This also helps him get along with other people in your group since he and they don’t usually interact.

* Obviously, Chrome would take a long time to realize that he’s fallen in love with you. He’s known Ruri for over 3 years and he still hasn’t figured it out.

* But others start noticing that he goes out of his way to get you to show off something. They’d understand if the project was finished, but when it’s a work in progress, it’s not very impressive to show. But you love it every single time because you’re curious and actually enjoy seeing everything put together little by little. Then, when the project is done, you can visualize the components and hard work that was put in to create it.

* And the villagers watch how he gets more talkative when you show interest and ask questions. He brings up inventions from the modern era that you’ve told him about so you both seem to share a mysterious language that they can’t understand. Some of them start shipping you two long before he notices anything.

* During mealtimes, you sometimes eat together. You talk about your next scavenging trip, new places in the village you haven’t explored, new projects, so many things. You both can get pretty sucked in to your conversations, forgetting the food. However you’re usually the one who finally remembers that you’re eating, and you teasingly shove food in his mouth. Your cheeky grin has blood rushing into his face and he is dazed, until he shakes himself out of it and starts to eat again.

* People are watching and nudging each other.

* Soon, Chrome becomes aware of you in a way he hasn’t before. He can’t help but smile every time you make eye contact. He craves the casual way you touch him and makes sure to be within your arms’ reach so you’re more likely to nudge him or grab him to drag him off somewhere in your excitement.

* When you first met him with Senku and Kohaku, you learned that he liked Ruri and never questioned it since. Whenever he talked about her, you could tell she was special to him. You made teasing jokes like forging a hairpin from iron and giving it to her with the line of “the burning fire in my heart for you was so hot I melted the iron with it” and he got flustered and groaned over the dumb line

* Recently, when you made those types of jokes, he felt conflicted. Part of him still got flustered but when he looked at you grinning and thinking you were oh so clever, he started to wonder why you would act like he liked Ruri when, thinking about it, he liked you...wait what?? He didn’t like you!

* Sure he thought you were cool and fun to hang out with and capable but that’s just something he admires and that’s a good friend, right?

* Right, he thought, shaking his head. You were a trusted partner, he didn’t want to kiss you or anything...

* “What?” You looked over your shoulder at him. “You got quiet over there.” You two were spending the late afternoon before dinner organizing your haul and you had just said that the location today was so beautiful Chrome should show it to Ruri once Senku cured her.

* He stared at your slightly parted lips. Did he want to kiss them? He was a man of science. When he collected rocks and plants, he’d grind, combine, set on fire, and experiment to find out how they reacted. Your mouth was kind of pretty, and yeah maybe he did want to see if kissing you was enjoyable.

* Chrome’s hands stopped working and now he was looking at you with unfocused eyes and a furrowed brow. You paused in your sorting and turned fully towards him. “You got a look on your face. Whatcha thinking about?”

* He is totally used to telling you his ideas so without hesitation, he answers before thinking, “What kissing you would feel like.” Then, he realized what he said. “Noooo! Sorry, that’s creepy right?” He zoomed backwards away from you, almost crashing into a table. How could he say that to you, you were one of his best friends!

* “Uhhh...” Chrome closed his eyes and braved himself for a rejection, ready to be kicked out of his hut for the next hour. “It’s not that creepy, I guess?” He heard you say. Were his ears working properly? He cracked an eye open to peek at you. You grinned awkwardly at him, having one side of your mouth quirked up.

* “Science inquiry, right? Question everything.”

* Maybe it was the afternoon sun or him imagining things, but your face looked a little pink. Kind of tempting. Whoa, did he really like you?

* “I need to figure something out.” He looked at you intensely.

* “Let me in on it, I wanna know.” Before, you had been avoiding eye contact out of shyness but now your eyes looked into his, drawing him closer. His footsteps seemed to be drowned out by the drums in his chest. He was getting nervous.

* He stopped a little ways in front of you. Being so close to you was almost making him lose his nerves. Kissing you? That seemed impossible.

* “Come on, Chrome.” You entwined both of your hands with his and pulled him closer until you were sharing the same air.

* You closed your eyes and patiently waited. Still with his heart beating in his ears, he looked at your long lashes, your eyebrows arched expectantly, and your flushed cheeks.

* You were getting nervous standing there and you bet your hands were all sweaty now. “Did you change your mind?” You did tend to grab him and drag him places. This was something he should be able to choose without being pressured. You started to loosen your hands, and he ripped his hands away.

* Before you could get disappointed, you felt those hands suddenly on the sides of your face and your lips met something soft.

* He was kissing you.

* Despite the sudden kiss, he knew enough to not just smash your lips together. It was much more of a firm press, one that had you craving for more even as butterflies exploded in your stomach and fire rushed over your skin. But you didn’t want to push it. You simply adjusted your lips to overlap better onto his and put your hands on his hips to hold him close.

* After a few seconds, Chrome leaned back with an entirely red face. “Baaaddddd,” he breathed. That had been enlightening. And soft. And pleasurable. Okay yeah, you weren’t just a best friend anymore. If it meant you would look at him like this, wide-eyed and giddy and hungry for more, he wanted to keep kissing you.

* Your hands squeezed his hips nervously, fingers a fluttering pressure on his flesh. “Practice for Ruri?” You asked in the small distance between your mouth and his.

* “Not Ruri,” he said distractedly. His eyes were still dazed and drinking in the tempting picture you made. “I want to kiss you.”

* And your mouth curled up into a pleased grin, looking hard to resist. So he didn’t.

[marinasmidriff]

Being attracted to a voluptuous adult woman’s body is so creepy. Can’t believe people were creeping on your boob blog like that. Hopefully they will all get arrested and you’ll win the Victim Olympics trophy and Marina herself will recognize your efforts to extol the “art” of her sexy body (but not in a creepy way) while fighting off a literal horde of online creepers on Tumblr! It’s not like you could have solved your non-problems by turning off your computer or anything.

i just lost brain cells reading this

if you cant see that in that text post i, a now 24 yr old adult, was simply looking at the perception of my blog through others eyes and reflecting on how in the past i truly didn’t understand the implications of this blog (bc i was like 16 or something at the time)… then idk what to tell you. it was moreso me realizing that teenagers being in adult centered spaces is kinda weird (since like yknow i was sent nudes and porn from whole ass adults in my blog submissions which were meant for submissions about marina) and that teenagers themselves don’t realize how it’s not exactly an appropriate space for them to be in while it’s happening. a teenage girl being interested in a female artist’s music and freedom of expression as a female artist in regards to her tour fashion & expression of her body, combined with the desire of being “funny” on a fanblog on tumblr is basically what created this whole thing lmfao. i had no idea that any of this would happen (being sent odd things, or even getting followers in the first place) i left this blog and tumblr in general for many years from just not wanting to be on here anymore, so i did turn my computer off lmfao maybe you should learn to do so before sending anon hate

it was a late night brain dump text post that i didnt even put much thought into at the time and it obviously made enough impact on you that you had to try to like .. send hate anonymously lmfaoo like what is it? 2010? grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up, don’t follow my blog i literally don’t give a fuck. go watch real porn if thats what you want lmfao just leave, anonymous scared ass looking mf

[starshiningsirius]

Temptation (Yandere Overblot Jamil x reader)

Thank you for letting me use this gif @flowerofthemoonworld!

Everything about her stood to him mainly the fact that she always complimented him. Other compliments he'd brush off as they were always in comparison to what Kalim did and it would only seem like he would only get recognized for Kalim's mistakes and being a servant alone.

He couldn't be in the spotlight, but that didn't stop him from wanting more. You clearly tempted him with normal pleasantries and he had fallen deeper for it.

Your affection was what he wished for, but alas the genie couldn't grant wishes of the heart.

You had suffered just as much serving Kalim if not worse when you all ventured into Night Raven. You comforted him when Kalim was made dorm leader instead when he fully deserved it more. You understood him best.

He knew how smart you were and yet you had to make yourself average to accommodate for his master's lack of brain cells. You and him would work to the point where any homework was done later in the day late at night while Kalim would be asleep peacefully. At the end of the day you'd be tired beyond belief and he'd worry over whether you were okay or not, it only made his resentment grow. He truly did care for you and Kalim was only drawing him deeper into madness.

When he would make Kalim lash out it would never be at you, he always made sure she was never targeted. This was also a plus since you'd come and try to comfort him in his room sometimes falling asleep next to him and waking up together. He couldn't have been in anymore bliss. No matter the time of day you seemed to understand his burden being a servant under the Al Asim family. You never failed to bring some light into his most frustrating days.

That was all over now though, he had finally achieved what he wanted at least for the most part. The buffoon and the rest of them were far off in the desert at this point and it would take them days to get back. He could only smirk in what formerly was his master and what he no longer had to experience.

No more passive aggressive anger anymore now that Jamil had finally gotten rid that wretched brat. All because of his own carelessness.

He had ordered a few of his mindless servants, once bright Scarabia students to get him an item from the storage room filled with treasures Kalim's father had made him bring with him. He was headed toward one room after gaining what he needed from his servants.

Once he made it there he saw his sweet darling sleeping peacefully, oblivious to all the chaos that had ensued. She hadn't seen the video most likely which he was thankful for. Rhythmatic breathing was signalled by the rise and fall of the blanket she had on her.

Jamil watched for a moment put at ease by the sight alone. He couldn't blame her seeing as she deserved to rest but this couldn't wait a moment longer in his head, he needed to share the news with her first!

"Y/n, wake up my darling," He said quietly being considerate of his volume.

"Ja -mil, what is ... it?" She yawned before fully seeing the display in front of her after her eyes had adjusted.

"Jamil! Wha - what happened to you?"

"I finally achieved greatness, I'm finally sultan!"

"What do you mean your sultan? What happened to Kalim?!" At the sound of his name he sneered.

"He's taking a long trip and won't be back until who knows when, but forget about him. I have a surprise!" He seemed so much more happy then he had ever been in her eyes. She knew something was off about it though the mana radiating from him, how unhinged he seemed, not to mention the black ink like substance coating his arms and floating about him. His whole appearance had changed on its own, she knew this wasn't the Jamil she knew and admired.

"Jamil what have you done? This isn't you. You need to calm down."

"What ever do you mean darling? I've always been this way, and now we can have whatever we want! You no longer have to suffer under that imbecile of a prince! You have me and so many servants who'll be at your back and call!" He had completely lost it in her eyes and she had to try and get him back to his senses.

"Jamil no, Kalim-"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING HIS NAME?!" His voice boomed down the halls with a god like tone.

"I-" He didn't even let her get a sentence out.

"Don't you think you've suffered long enough under him? Why can't you see I want to be there for you, I want you, everything about you, the way you shower me with compliments isn't enough! I want your attention! You gave him so much can't I get the same?!"

He had dropped something it was a little loud and it caught her attention seeing it glimmer and sparkle. Since his darling's attention was taken away from him he glanced toward the side remembering what it was he forgot. A small detail yet so simple it almost made him laugh.

"I wonder if you know how the Sorcerer of Sand tried to gain the princess's favor?" He said using magic to lift the crown toward him effortlessly.

He made his way over to her the snakes that had formerly been his braided hair, hissing, making an unbearably loud obnoxious sound for her ears. She covered them and closed her eyes hoping this was all just a nightmare to go away when she wakes up.

He took her hand gently invoking her to open her eyes at the feeling of a slimy substance on her fingers. She had to face what she wished was a figment. Gazing directly into the eyes of her former friend. He had a sly smirk on his face as he spoke his next words.

"Please won't you accept this crown." She forgot just how enchanting his voice was. Her eyes went dull, and her expression was calmer.

"Yes, my dear Jamil." She answered immediately without question.

"I'm glad you see things my way."

This would be fine, Jamil had this all planned out. He just had to show her the luxuries she would receive and she'd come to understand. At least one good thing came from all of it as he made her intertwine lips with his own, she wouldn't remember any of it later on. The mind control bits at least, so he couldn't have her knowing the situation and eventually despise him.

No.

If he could just convince her to fall into his temptation as she had did to him. It would be simple.

. . .

They now sat together at a lavish dining display, the sultan smiling at his darling. While his darling showed some discomfort from the snakes that scared her to death.

'It would be fine.' The thought repeating in her head in an attempt to calm down her breathing as she tried to recollect her own memories of how all this came to pass.

"My darling why don't you eat, as much as you want, it's all for you."

She flinched when she heard his voice. It was calmer than before but her unease kept her from feeling safe. When one of the snakes came too close she yelped, the feeling was so strange and unexpected that she had no preparation, though who could have seen any of this coming. He had yelled at her before, she was well aware of that but nothing else afterwards.

"Y/n."

"Y -yes?" She responded without looking at him not even a glance was made that way, but she responded so it was an accomplishment achieved in his eyes. He just had to succeed in calming her frantic nerves.

His mind had already came up with an plan to solve the problem. Slowly but surely he pulled her into his lap and tried cradling like they used to do after frustrating days, venting to one another.

"My deepest apologies, I shouldn't have raised my voice, earlier." She was frigid in his arms, but she wasn't resisting in order to not anger him.

After a few moments of silence he sighed.

"Do you remember, when we were like this? You'd fall asleep after listening to me vent about my day."

She didn't respond but he did feel her relax a little. This was still Jamil, though he was different it was still him. Her mind tried to convince herself of that fact alone. If he knew that fact it had to be him. She was worried though, about Kalim and the others but she didn't dare mention them in fear of him raising his voice or possibly hurting her.

This relationship wasn't ideal, but it was a work in progress for Jamil wasn't one to give up so easily. The temptation he had was right within his arms and all it would take was some time to tempt her into falling for him as well.

Masterlist

[thegreatestofheck]

Ocean and Alcohol Pt. 7 ✘JJ Maybank✘

part one! part two! part three! part four! part five! part six!

(gif not mine! all credit to rudypankow!)

Word Count - 4471 Warnings - Swearing, underage drinking Synopsis - After the party at the boneyard goes slightly awry, you and the pogues take a trip down to the marsh to check out the wreck. You meet a number of unfriendlies along the way.  A/N - Here is the real start of canon material! Since I have issues with reading fanfiction that is verbatim, I changed a few things around, but it’s pretty much the same. Takes place during episode one from the boneyard party and onward! Thank you all for your support!

“Drug money?” You asked, agape. JJ put his hands on your shoulders from behind as he cackled.  “Yes,” Kie said, trying to keep her eyes on the road. “We want you in on it.” Your mind was running at a mile a minute. The boat, Scooter’s death, the connection to John B’s father, the money. Even a small fraction of that would be enough for a good lawyer and to get you and Kid somewhere safe. It was just the miracle you needed. “I’m so in.” You smiled at Kie. “What’s our next move?” “We’re having a party, Ellie. We’ll figure it out tomorrow.” “There’s a chance we can make a shit ton of money and you’re throwing a party?” You asked, looking back at him. “Party’s already thrown,” he said, leaning back with his hands locked behind his head. “Alright,” you said with a sigh. “It’s a good night to get drunk.” The party was in full swing when you, JJ, and Kie pulled up. John B ran over with a large grin and a few beers in his hands. “Glad you could join us,” John B said, handing you one of the cups. “Glad to see you guys are still alive,” you said, matching his smile and taking a sip from the cup. “Welcome back Kie, JJ,” John B said, passing JJ a cup, which Kie promptly took for herself. “As you can expect, the kooks tried to take over so just…don’t start any fights.” John B looked directly at JJ, who put his hands in the air innocently. “Follow me,” JJ said, grabbing hold of your wrist. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Rafe and Kelce, who were whispering quietly back and forth. 

“Wait,” you said, pulling your wrist back. “We have to be careful with the kooks here.” “What do you mean?” You nodded your head toward Rafe, taking another drink. “You’re not scared of Rafe, are you?” “No, Maybank. But if he sees us and decides to tell my dad-” “Then we’ll be careful.” You let out a sharp breath, gulping down the rest of your beer. You offered your hand for him to take, which made JJ smile. He pulled you along to where Pope was attempting to woo a girl with his talk of dead bodies. The two of you plopped down in the sand by their feet. Pope sent an irritated look at JJ as you introduced yourself to the girl. JJ pulled you around, introducing you to as many different people as he could, using a different version of your name to each person. You weren’t sure how he came up with so many different forms of your short name, but he did. Somehow, he still made you laugh, even if your day hadn’t been the greatest. Just being in the presence of him and his smile eased the pain just a little bit. Despite the serotonin and alcohol running through your system, you couldn’t get the money out of your head. That money would save you and your brother. Part of you knew better than to get your hopes up, that there was only a small chance that anything would come of it. Still, now that you knew the money was an option, you wanted it more than anything. 

The night was wonderful, talking to Kie, sharing a few smiles with Sarah, dancing with the boys. And then it all dissolved when you let JJ out of your sight.    You were talking to Kie, laughing at a story of hers about the boys, when you saw JJ trying to offer Sarah and Topper something to drink. You didn’t see who threw the first punch, but as soon as you heard the sound of a fight, you knew exactly what was going on. JJ had said something that put Topper off and now they were rolling around in the sand beating the shit out of each other. You pushed yourself out of the sand, to pull Topper away from JJ, but Kie grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. When you looked at her with pinched eyebrows, she tilted her head toward Rafe, who was watching you carefully. You growled to yourself, forcing yourself to stand by with everyone else. John B stepped in, taking JJ’s place. Kie ran up to JJ and Pope and you stepped to follow them, but someone grabbed you by the wrist. “Come with me,” Rafe hissed in your ear. “Let me go,” you ground out, trying to pull your wrist away. “I need to talk to you.” He pulled you away from the growing crowd. You tried to reach your friends one last time, but Rafe pulled even harder on your arm. The best choice for you was to follow him. When he finally stopped, you ripped your wrist from his grip. “Just say what you want to say,” you snapped, crossing your arms. “I saw you come in with JJ and Kiara,” he said. “So?” “I know you’re always on lockdown. Sarah told me. You shouldn’t be out.” Your pulse began to race and you let a shaking breath. “What do you want, Rafe?” “I want to tell your dad that you’ve been sneaking around with the pogues,” he said, a proud smirk on his face. You resisted the urge to punch him right there.    “You tell my dad about sneaking out and I’ll tell your dad you’ve been pushing drugs, how about that?” You watched with a small amount of glee as his smile faltered and fell. “We’ve both got dirt on each other, why don’t we keep it under the table, huh?” Rafe set his jaw, shoving his hands into his pockets. You could barely hear the sound of people shouting in the distance, anything important drowned out by the others chanting. “You’re bluffing,” Rafe finally said. You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’ve literally seen you doing lines with Kelce. All I have to do is walk right up to your house-” “Fine!” He huffed out a heavy breath. “Fine. You win.” “Good choice.” You turned to run back to the fight, hoping you weren’t too late, but Rafe grabbed your arm again, spinning you back around. “Why did you kiss me?” He asked. “At that party.” You scowled and shrugged. “I was drunk,” you said with an irritated shake of your head. For the first time, you couldn’t read the look on his face. Before he could let your arm go, a series of loud gunshots echoed across the sky. Rafe dragged you to the sand as you covered your head. You heard screaming as the party-goers ran from the sound.    “JJ,” you breathed, tearing your arm from Rafe’s grip as you scrambled upward. “Elma!” he called after you, but he didn’t follow. You ran back to where the party had been. Everyone else had already ran off, all except your friends. John B was lying in the water on his back, Pope and Kie staring at JJ. “What the hell happened?” You demanded, walking forward. You stopped suddenly when you saw the gun in JJ’s hand by his side. “JJ is an idiot is what happened!” Pope said, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “He was going to kill John B!” JJ exclaimed, waving the gun through the air. “JJ, be careful!” Kie begged, putting a hand up. Yelling wasn’t going to help anything. You knew that. Raised voices only made things worse. You took a careful step forward. “Give me the gun, JJ,” you said. “I’m not going to use it,” he scoffed. “I know, but you’ve had a lot to drink tonight and it’s safer if you put it down.” “Right, right.” 

As you neared, hand outstretched, he placed the gun in your palms before turning toward John B. He and Pope pulled their friend out of the water. You stood there, staring at the gun in your hand. If the money wasn’t a real possibility, the weapon in your hand always was. All you had to do was ask JJ for it. He would give it to you, no questions asked. It was just the pull of a trigger and your problem would be solved. “Elm?” You startled as Kie put her hand on your shoulder. “Let me take you home.” You nodded your head slowly. You walked over to JJ’s backpack and slid the gun inside. Looking back at the boys, you were tempted to offer a wave or even say goodbye, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

The drive home was oddly quiet for a while. “We were supposed to be laying low,” Kie said after a while. Your window was open, hoping that the wind would blow away the thoughts in your head, the hurt in your heart. “He was just trying to help.” 

“I know.” Kie let out a deep sigh. “We’re probably going to hang out a John B’s tomorrow. Can you come?” “I should be able to,” you said, looking over at her. “My dad will be out most of tomorrow.” “Thank God,” Kie said with a smile. “It’s nice to have someone else with brain cells to hang out with.” You felt yourself smile. Kie pushed your shoulder lightly with her hand and you let out a laugh. “It’s nice to have people to hang out with who don’t hate me,” you said. Keeping her smile, Kie pushed on the radio button, music starting to blast out of the speakers. The songs that you used to sing alone in your room, you were now singing with someone you could call a friend. The weirdness of the day was gone as the word passed through your head. Friend. For as long as you could remember, it was just you and Kid. Friends weren’t on your radar. But ever since meeting JJ, you had found four new friends and by some miracle, they actually liked you. You let all of those thoughts out of your hand, wanting nothing more than to enjoy the moment. Music pounded out of the speakers, flowing out of the open windows. Kie drummed her hands against the steering wheel as you waved your arms in the air to the beat. “I thought you didn’t dance,” Kie said, shouting over the music and the wind. “I guess I do now,” you replied, meeting her smile with one of your own. As you neared your house, you leaned over and turned the music down. “You can let me out here,” you said to Kie, whispering as if you were already at your house. “Are you sure? I want to make sure you get inside,” Kie said. You shook your head and gave a smile. “My house is right up the road. I’ll be fine,” you reassured her. Kie watched your face for a moment, as if trying to see if you were really going to be alright. “Well, we’re meeting at the house in the morning. I’ll see you there,” she said. You opened your door and stepped out. 

“Be careful driving home,” you told her before shutting the door behind you. Kie stayed where she was in the car as you started up the road. You didn’t hear her engine start again until you turned around the corner. The wind blew through your hair as you made your way up to your house. It had to be past midnight at this point. You weren’t sure how this one day could have been so long. You let the breeze blow away all of the thoughts that would keep you up all night if you let it. Sneaking past your front door, you clambered up to the roof outside your window, which was still open just a crack. You let out a sigh as you crawled into your room, exhausted from your full day. You didn’t even change or turn off the light before flopping onto your bed. Sleep claimed you almost instantly, swallowing you whole. 

***

You were still rubbing sleep out of your eyes as you drove toward John B’s the next morning. Letting out one last yawn, you slowed to a stop. When you arrived, it seemed like John B and JJ were in the middle of a heated conversation. You got out of your car as quietly as possible and snuck over to Kie and Pope, who sat by and watched. “Hey,” you whispered, startling Pope. “Shit, Elm!” He said, turning to look at you, hand over his heart. Kie looked up at you with an irritated smile. “What are they arguing about?” You asked, settling yourself onto a table. “Sheriff Peterkin said that as long as John B stayed out of the marsh, she would help him out with DCS,” Pope said, talking low as to not interrupt the conversation that John B and JJ were having a few feet away. “But JJ is trying to get him to go out there anyway,” Kie added, the same irritation on her face evident in her voice. “Wait, you’re giving up on the money?” Fear burst in your chest. That money was a shred of hope that you possessed, they weren’t really going to give up on it. Were they? “You really think it exists?” Pope asked, looking back up at you. You let out a sigh, chewing on your lower lip. “I have to.” “New plan!” JJ said turning around with a clap. He caught sight of you on the table and smiled. “Hey, Babe.” “Hi.” You smiled back. It was nice to see this smiley, happy version of JJ rather than the nearly unhinged version from last night. “John B is going to get us some scuba gear and then we’re going to go out to the boat, see what we can find,” he said. “And then we’ll be rich.” “Where is he going to get the scuba gear?” Pope asked, leaning his elbows against his knees. “Ward Cameron,” JJ said, beaming. “That is literally the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Kie said with a small shake of her head. You breathed out a deep sigh, pressing your fingers against your forehead. “It’s a great idea, Kie,” JJ said. “You think so, right Ellie?” You looked up, eyebrows raised. 

“It’s dangerous,” you said. “John B could get caught before we even go out into the marsh.” “Thank you,” Pope said. JJ’s smile fell and he put his hands on his hips. “But,” you continued. “We can’t give up so soon, right? I mean, what other chance are we ever going to get for this kind of money?” You watched Kie and Pope show different levels of disappointment and you grimaced. You looked up at JJ and he was smiling once again. “We’re so going to die,” Pope said, meeting Kie’s gaze. She nodded slowly. You had the feeling you just made a mistake. 

***

“You took empty tanks?” Kie gave John B her disappointed mom look as you looked at the second tank. John B sat beside her with a sigh. He shrugged his shoulders, running a hand through his hair. “This one has some air,” you said, pointing at your tank. “How much?” Kie asked, leaning over to look. 

“About a quarter of a tank,” you told her, showing her the gauge. “At least one of us should be able to go down.” “Love it when a plan comes together,” Pope said, leaning back and feet up by the wheel. You glanced over at JJ, who leaned against the side of the boat. “Anyone know how to dive?” Kie asked. You shook your head, looking at your hands. By the time it was decided that John B was the one going to dive, you were really starting to regret giving JJ your stamp of approval. You were sure they probably would have done it anyway, but you felt like you should have kept your desire for the money to yourself. You helped pull Kie back to the boat after she tied her shirt to the line as the Pope helped John B into the gear. “Here,” you said, offering your sweater to Kie. She took it with a small smile. “These boys are going to kill me,” she muttered to you, pulling the sweater over her head. You tilted your head to the side with a short sigh. “You and me both.” Kie walked by and over to John B. You felt your face contort into a confused look as Kie placed a short kiss on John B’s cheek. You looked over at JJ, who was trying to cover a laugh. Maybe reading social cues wasn’t your best skill, but you thought you might have noticed if one of your only friends liked another, but apparently not. You leaned over the edge of the boat, watching John B sink below the surface. You felt your heart squeeze when you could no longer see him. There was a lot riding on whatever John B found down there, for you and for the others. There was also a lot riding on him not getting caught. You didn’t want him to be put in foster care just because you wanted money. All you had to do was not get caught. But, naturally, you did. Deputy Shoupe and another one of the deputies rolled up in their boat. You forced a smile onto your face as they neared. Heart hammering in your chest, you tried not to pull any of his attention onto you. If you could have jumped into the water a drowned right then and there, you would have. With how often your dad and Shoupe talked with each other, there was no way he wasn’t going to mention you being on a boat with a bunch of pogues. You tried to smile as Kie, Pope, and JJ talked their way out of it. You glanced down at the water, your heart pounding in your ears. There had to be a way that you could tell John B not to come to the surface. Shoupe walked around the Pogue, asking dumb little questions, obviously trying to catch them in a lie. You justified your lack of talking by telling yourself that you didn’t know anything about the boat, so how could you be of help? You didn’t take a single breath until the cops were in their own boat, driving away. All four of you raced to the back of the boat to wait for John B to surface. You let out a deep breath once you saw him pop out of the water.  “Did you find anything?” JJ asked as John B swam over. “Did I find anything?” He asked with a laugh, tossing his soaking wet bag onto the Pogue. You smiled at the sight of it. You helped John B out of the water as Pope rambled about the cops pulling up on the boat. “You scared the shit out of me,” Kie said once John B was back in the boat. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, smiling up at her. Looking back out over the water, you saw another boat nearing. “Kie,” you said, hooking your pinky around hers. “I think that boats coming toward us.” 

“Shit,” she hissed before turning to the others. “Bogey, two o’clock.” “What?” JJ looked up. “They shouldn’t be out here,” you said. “Deputy said the marsh was closed.” “Do you recognize it?” “No.” “What do they want?” Kie asked. “No way we’re waiting around to find out,” JJ said. “JJ, get the bowline,” John B said. “Yup.” “Pope, the stern.” “Should we wait for ‘em?” Pope asked. 

“Are you kidding?” Kie didn’t take her eyes off the other boat. 

You wondered if there was ever going to be a normal day on this goddamn island. You moved to the front of the boat to help JJ with the bowline. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” you mumbled to yourself. “Are they coming for us?” JJ asked once the anchor was in the boat. You turned to watch the other boat, pulse racing. 

“Maybe they’re fishing,” Pope said, but from the tremor in his voice, you knew he didn’t believe it. “Ever the optimist.” You looked at him with an attempt at a smile. “Into the marsh,” he said, returning your smile with a quick one of his own. “I’m going,” John B said from the wheel. “Just act natural.” “Act natural,” you grumbled. When you turned back to look at the boat, which was the opposite of acting natural, you saw them closing in. “So,” you said, turning back to the front. “They may or may not be speeding up.” “They’re following us,” Kie said, glancing back. “Shit.” “Dude you gotta go faster!”

What was just supposed to be a simple matter of sneaking onto a wreck with stolen scuba gear suddenly turned into a boat chase through the marsh. You held onto the side of the boat as John B sped up, glancing back again, almost wishing you hadn’t. “That’s a gun,” you said, voice shaking. “What?” “Gun!” One of the men in the boat pulled the trigger and everyone ducked. “Get down!” JJ pulled John B’s arm, forcing him to crouch. “We’re going to die!” Pope yelled as another shot was fired. There had to be a way out of this, some way to slow them down. When you looked up at Kie, you could see that she was thinking the same thing. “The net,” she said, just loud enough for you to hear. You nodded your head. The two of you stood. “Don’t-” JJ tried to grab your hand, but you moved toward the front before he could. You met Kie in the front of the boat. “I’ll cover you,” you told her as she grabbed the net. She nodded her head once before you both took off for the back. You stood as tall as you could, hopefully drawing enough attention away from Kie as she crouched. You watched Pope try to grab her and pull her back to the floor of the boat, but she moved past him quickly. Another shot. It flew past you, barely missing your side. When JJ reached out for you, you couldn’t evade him and he pulled you down to the boat. “Are you crazy?” He asked. You shook your head, looking over at Kie as she threw the net into the water behind the boat. You lifted your head to see if it worked. For a few seconds, the boat behind continued to follow until it got caught in the net. You watched with a growing smile as the boat sputtered to a stop. “Ha!” You cried, throwing a fist into the air. Once you rounded the bend, finally out of eyesight of the other bought, JJ finally let you go. “That was amazing, Kie!” You pushed yourself up and hugged her around the waist. “Let’s never do that again,” Pope said, breathing heavily. JJ let out a holler, standing. John B laughed, looking back at Kie and over at Pope. You found yourself laughing off the rest of your adrenaline, the wind blowing through your hair. “That was insane,” Kie said with a laugh. Looking at your friends, all laughing after nearly dying, JJ’s words returned to your mind. What was the point of surviving if you weren’t living? This...this felt like living. The laughter, the adrenaline, sneaking around, doing whatever the hell you wanted with the wind blowing through your hair, you wanted it all. You soaked it in, closing your eyes and lifting your face to the sun. You didn’t let yourself think about what would have happened if you had died right then. It was important. It didn’t matter. Why worry about something that didn’t happen? The sun was nearing the horizon when you made it back to the dock. You still felt the adrenaline pumping through your system, smile still on your face. Everyone scurried off the boat, JJ tying it off. John B dropped the bag to the ground, everyone crowding around. “It’s gotta be money, right?” John B said, smiling up at JJ, who said something in response, but all you could do was stare at the bag. 

“Can we please just open the bag?” Pope asked suddenly. You all glanced up at him each smiling. “Wow.” “That was a rare outburst of emotion,” JJ said. You bumped his leg with your shoulder. “You guys are literally killing me with anticipation,” Pope said, showing his shaking hands to prove his point. John B finally unzipped the bag. Your heart beat so fast, you were sure you could feel the blood flowing through your veins at a million miles an hour. “We almost died for this,” Pope said as John B pulled out a metal canister. It took John B a few moments to untwist the lid, setting it on the ground. No one took their eyes off of the thing in his hands. When he tipped it upward, you craned your neck to see what landed in his palm. It was something wrapped in a towel. As he unfolded it, your breath hitched. Slowly, John B pulled a compass out of the towel. You felt your heart deflate at the sight of it. A collective, disappointed sigh came out of everyone except John B, who stared at it as if it was hypnotic. “Yeah,” Pope said, turning around. “That’s about right.” “Are you okay, John B?” You asked. Maybe he was in shock. After all, he had almost died twice to get nothing but a compass out of that sunken boat. “Dude, what?” JJ asked, his voice tighter than usual. “That thing isn’t worth anything.” “This was my father’s.” Pope turned back around to look at him. “Why did Scooter have your dad’s compass?” You asked. John B shook his head, not taking his eyes off of the thing. “I...I don’t know.” “We should talk to Ms. Lana,” Kie said, stepping forward. She knelt behind John B and placed a hand on his shoulder. You looked back at JJ with a ‘are you seeing this or am I crazy’ look. He made a face and crossed his arms. “Yeah,” John B said absentmindedly. “Maybe tomorrow.” “I should...I should probably go,” Pope said, turning to walk away from them. “Fun day guys. Let’s never do that again.” “I should go, too,” you said, standing. “Keep me updated.” “How are we supposed to do that?” JJ asked with a raised eyebrow. You shrugged. “Carrier pigeon?” He placed a gentle kiss against your forehead. “See you, guys,” you said. John B didn’t look away from the compass but Kie gave you a smile. You turned back toward shore, starting across the dock. “Pope, wait up!” ***

Taglist -  @bitterbethany​​​ @lovelymaybankk​​​ @ilymarkchan​​​ @downbytheouterbanks​​​ @clearcolourlessglass​​​ @obxwriterfan​​​ @tangledinsparkles​​​ @chill-sushi​

[itswhumpday]

Hey! Whumper was torturing Whumpee. It got a bit out of hand, and now Whumpee is about to die? What they gonna do? Whumpee turned caretaker pls!? ❤❤❤

Last night I was having a hard time going to sleep after getting this. So many possibilities! I’m normally not one for Whumper turned Caretaker, so I had to wreck my brain around it, but I think I got a nice one! It got super long too, so I put in a read more. Enjoy! 

Looking through the bars of the door’s window, it was hard to believe Whumper was looking at Whumpee.

They have history, the two of them. Started as apprentices to the same master, until Whumper was tired of being a pet, ready to take on real power wherever they could take it. Whumpee never understood, never cared. Such high morals and for what? For starving in a dark cell. 

Whumper comes inside, hardly fighting a smile.  

“Well, well, how the winds changed. If it isn’t the Whumpee.” Whumper laughs in delight. But there is no witty remark in return. Whumpee only looks up at them, thin and shivering. Whumper looks down at the abandoned piece of bread next to them. “Ah, they told you it was poisoned… Or maybe they didn’t? I can’t remember if it was or not… Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

Whumper laughs again, but Whumpee is really not making this any more fun. Whumper clicks their tongue. 

“Come now! Where’s the witty banter? Cat’s got your tongue?” 

Whumpee’s eyes have anger on them, but they don’t say anything. Whumper growls and grabs them by the grubby shirt, pulling them up, pushing them against the cold wall. 

“Say something!” 

Whumpee’s eyes are scared now, which is not what Whumper wants. They want a fight. They want to earn that fear. 

“Did you kill them? Our master… Did you… How could you?” 

“Them? You’re worried about them?” Whumper laughed, slapping across the face. “I’m trying to have my triumphant moment and you’re worried about the person who ruined us?!”

“They taught us everything we know!” 

“They lied! They limited our potential!” Whumper pulls their collar until their faces are almost touching. “You stayed with them and look at where you are. The prized student. Why don’t we see who’s better?” 

Whumper lets them go, takes the keys in their pocket and throw open the chains on Whumpee’s wrists. They immediately rub their wrists, raising their confused doe eyes at Whumper. 

“Fight me.” Whumper says with a diabolical smile. “Want to know what happened to them? Get it out of me.” 

Whumpee stood there, trembling, looking from them to the door, as if they’re calculating if they’ll make it. They wouldn’t, but Whumper is glad to see the spark of a fighter. They go for is, but Whumper’s fist finds their face before they can take a step, sending them back against the wall. 

“Come on! Show me what they taught you all those years!” 

Whumpee’s mad now. Whumper can see. They raise their shaking fists, a feeble imitation of a fighting stance. Whumper pulls them with one movement, shoving their knee up their stomach. Whumpee falls back, wheezing, reaching for the walls, trying to stay upright. They’re bent in half. Pathetic. Weak. 

“This is what you abandoned me for?!” Whumpee seems about to say something, but Whumper punches them again. They’re tripping over themselves now. “This is the golden pupil?!” 

They shove Whumpee with all they have. Whumpee loses balance. Their head bangs audibly against the wall and then the floor. 

This fills Whumper with rage. Was that it? The big confrontation they waited years for?! The very culmination of all of their work?! They kick the Whumpee, once, twice. Their body falls to the side, revealing the blood coming out of a gash on the side of Whumpee’s forehead. Their eyes are closed. They’re out cold. 

“Haha! Yeah. The oldest trick in the book. How stupid do you think I am?” They walk to the chains, next to which is the untouched water and bread. They don’t think - honestly don’t remember - if the water is poisoned, but will serve its purpose. They walk back to the Whumpee and dumps the liquid on their head. They don’t move, the water lazily dripping into Whumpee’s mouth. Whumper rolls their eyes. “Fine! If you’re going to be like that, I’m leaving. I’ll come back when you’re ready for a real fight.” 

Whumper waits. They clean up the mess from their clothes. They have to hand over to their old friend: they’re committed to their role. Whumper is walking to the door when they hear a sound: a gasp. They turn around, thinking they got the Whumpee, but they’re still in the same position. The sound grows louder, like skin rubbing against glass. Finally, Whumpee moves, but it’s just their chest moving in spasms. 

“You’re kidding.” Whumper kneels down next to them, grabbing their face and turning it to the side. The water that dripped into their mouth comes out of it, mixing with the blood that’s forming a small puddle. But that doesn’t solve the problem. The sound coming from their throat grows rougher and huskier. “You have got to be kidding me!” 

They begrudgingly grab the Whumpee’s hand, looking for a pulse. But they can’t concentrate, because the sound is dimming now. When Whumper puts their hand to their nose, they don’t feel a thing. Whumpee’s chest has gone still. 

“No, you idiot! You absolute idiot! They still haven’t come for you! I still don’t have them!” They stop just short of saying they need them. It’s not true. They’re leverage - good, but not essential. And yet… Going through all this trouble would be a waste. “Help! I need a med team!”

It’d be useless. The dungeon was notorious for being deserted - so no prisoners could have contact. They’d have to take them to the med bay. 

What are they even thinking?! If this is a trick, their new master would end them. They stand up waiting. They’ll have to breathe eventually.  But as seconds pass, all that changes is their blues getting a bluish tint. 

“Shit.”

They grab Whumpee and raise them in their arms. There is no resistance. Whumpee’s head falls back, their mouth agape, but no air coming in or out. They’re light, much lighter than they used to be. Whumper feels the poke of several pointy bones that didn’t used to be there. There is a pang of guilt that they shove away. 

Whumper gets out of the cell, running up the corridor and up the stairs. They find the med bay soon enough, glad it’s empty. They drop Whumpee on it. Their limbs spread in awkward angles. Their head is tilted back, almost falling form the table, unveiling a sliver of the sclera. 

They find the ambu bag and hold it over their mouth, pushing on it twice. They put their hand to their neck again, looking for a pulse. It’s sporadic and weird, as an interference rather than a rhythm. While they push the bag again, they hook up the heart monitor, that shows exactly what they thought. 

“Damn it.” 

The numbers on the monitor are dropping. Whumper puts the bag to the side and start compressing, keeping count silently. Their anger helps them push and Whumpee’s body is shaken with every compression. They take the bag again, pushing air into the body. 

Whumper doesn’t know how long they’ve been doing this when the machine beeps, letting them know there’s a shockable rhythm. Whumper lets out a smile, even though they feel like passing out. 

“Maybe this situation isn’t so bad.” 

Whumper pulls open Whumpee’s shirt. The bruises of their kick are starting to show very slightly. Whumper takes the defibrillator, charging the paddles. Since there’s no one to clear, they just shock Whumpee’s chest. It hikes up, and then falls again. When Whumper pulls away, they notice the burns. They forgot the gel. Oh, well. 

The monitor tells them it wasn’t enough. 

They compress, they press the bag, they shock again. This time, Whumpee gasps. But the sound is much like the ones they made in the cell. Not enough. Their lids are fluttering, as if they’re having a terrible dream. Whumper keeps compressing and pushing air into their lungs. Their arms are getting tired, they’re tired of all of this. 

“Last chance, golden pupil. I’m going to leave you here like I did that day.” They set the machine as far as it can go. A shock this hard could end them for good - and Whumper is wondering if this isn’t what they want after all. They charge, they clear, the pads meet the bare skin. 

Whumpee’s body raises higher than before, shaking madly. Whumper is supposed to take it off, but they keep it there, the strength of their anger keeping them there. For a second, they’re Frankenstein and it’s monster. Until reason made them pull away. Whumper throws the defibrillator to the side, letting out a frustrated scream. 

But as they stop to listen, they hear the heart monitor climbing up to a normal rhythm. When they look back, Whumpee is gasping again, but this time, their chest is raising and falling. 

“Motherfucker… They always come through.” Whumper wonders if they should have taken the opportunity. It was too good. Their hand even wraps around Whumpee’s neck ever so slightly. But when Whumpee blindly touches their hand, trying to fight them, they know it’s no use. They never had this instinct to fight and this is why Master had chosen them. 

Whumper puts an oxygen mask around their face to help them breathe. They’ll have to go back to their cell, of course, while they wait for their old master to strike. But just for now, Whumper can secretly look after their old friend. That was it! I loved writing this!  As always, if you have a request, my askbox is always open.  If you enjoy the stuff here on my blog, consider giving me a tip on Ko-fi!

[wheresthemuffinman]

So I've been really into interactive fiction for a long while and I've finally decided to showcase my various MC(s) over different IFs.

(Who I may have incorporated from my OCs from a series (or at least a universe) I'm working on😌)

Picture made by Picrew (https://picrew.me/image_maker/625951)

This MC is based in Triaina Academy by @leo-interactive-fiction

WARNING: This post is long and doesn't have proper capitalisation at times

*looks at the camera* "This is boring, can I please do something else?"

File: #01 : Triaina Academy

Date of recording:*Data Corrupted*

Interviewee: Melody "Mai" Razor

---------------------PARTICULARS-------------------

Appearance: Hazel eyes that look like topaz in bright light and black hair that reach her shoulders. Wears a pair of red glasses and has a mole below her left eye.

Power: Blood manipulation

Description: Seemingly obedient as first, she'll roll along to anything that happens until it starts to inconvenience her or she gets bored. After that it'll be a 50/50 chance she'll start to mess around or just deviate and do something else entirely.

Doesn't trust easily, but loves to mess around with people by teasing them playfully after warming up to them.

Likes to act like she's running on a single brain cell 24/7, has a habit of running around aimlessly and just exploring places that seem interesting.

She took on the name of "Mai" to abandon her past and start anew. She'll grow to letting go of her abandonment issues and let extremely close friends of use her actual name after a long while.

---------------------VIDEO CUTS---------------------

*The following words appear on the screen: "What do you think about..."*

Emil Dobry

"Em's like the little bro I never had. Though, he tends to be a tad bit too naive for my comfort. We're kinda in troublesome times with cutthroats everywhere and I'm kinda worried he might not be able to make the right call when the going gets tough and I'm not there, you know?"

Notes: Her time as the eldest among her fellow sea urchins when young carried over to the present. She feels responsible for Emil and his happiness. Gets him little trinkets she finds from time to time and he is one of the few people she'll happily do favors for, no questions asked. (The other being a baker who gave her bread occasionally in the past)

Robin Vallenford

"Birdie? He seems alright, can't say much from him at first glance, just know he's hiding something. His fights with Em are a great source of entertainment at times, downright childish on others. On hindsight though, he does bring colour to the whole dorm."

*She tilts a head to the side, leaning back and kicking her feet up midair, grinning slyly*

"I think we'll get along juuust fine."

Notes: She seems to be respectful of Robin and interested in knowning him better. Would gladly play a round of cards with him even if she knew she was going to lose.

Vin Wolfe

*She frowns slightly* "I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think much of Sunshine back in the arena. But when he pulled that gun out I think I nearly lost 10 years of my life. But,"

*She stares at the ceiling thoughtfully*

"He doesn't seem to mean any harm, maybe he just has a few things to work off." *Mumbling* "Bet his aim's really good too, might want to see if he'll teach me."

Notes: She doesn't know what to fully make out of Vin, she's a little put off by the commander title (she's not used to commanding other people at all. She's prefers to operate independently). More than happy to teach him what she knows about academics. Notes to herself to keep an eye out for his sake.

Calls Vin "Sunshine" (at least in her head).

Leah Scio

*Her eyes light up* "Bluejay? She's really pretty and nice, quiet though. She's also pretty much the only other person I know that wears glasses and I think she reads alot! I'd really like to see her collection sometime. She's like Em, but doesn't appear to be naive. Actually, now that I think about it, I can't really compare those two. It's like oranges and pears you'know? She's definitely smarter, and less emotional when there's thinking to be done."

Notes: She enjoys Leah's company and wants to learn from her. One of the very few people she cares about that she goes easy on when fighting (she feels really bad hurting them). Calls her "Bluejay".

---------------------VIDEO CUTS---------------------

*Reading through a folder that has the word "CONFIDENTIAL" on its front* "Ooooo"

*A rough voice can be heard from behind the camera* "Woi, who gave that to 'er? Someone take it away!"

*The folder gets swipped out of her hands from a passer-by* "Wha-Hey! What gives-oh"

*she glances behind the camera and readjusts her voice, flashing a sheepish grin*

"Sorry, got a little distracted there, shall we continue?"

---------------------------------------------------------

Pierce Crater

"Firecracker? Well I don't really have much to say about him that he himself isn't already making obvious."

*She brings a hand up to her chin, posing in mock contemplation*

"He swears alot, jumps to conclusions, and is really prone to resorting to violence to solve his problems. He would honestly make a terrible diplomat."

*She pauses for a few moments, her eyes go distant*

"Though he does seem to put his best into the many things I've seen him do. His position as a representative might be saying something about his leadership...and he is really easy to embarrass...wonder how he fights...?"

Notes: Her attitude towards Pierce seems to change to somewhat more reasonable and surprisingly more careful, a stark contrast to her more playful and nonchalant interactions to her own dormmates. She doesn't seem to trust him much, but she also doesn't realise herself hanging around him more.

Unfortunately for Pierce (or "Firecracker") , she also seems to be increasingly curious about him after this interview. Granted, this was bound to happen sooner than later.

Matthew Crater

*She squints, a faraway look in her eyes*

"Snowflake's a strange one, never really met anyone who passes out so frequently. He's a cute one though, gonna be honest. Friendly too, other than that though, don't really know much else."

Notes: Amicable with Matthew (Nicknamed: "Snowflake"), she doesn't seem to understand much about his...suggestions to wake up. Most likely will nap with him if she catches his sleeping during a break.

Raven

*Her posture tenses slightly, before quickly relaxing*

"Bubbles'...alright. Honestly I'm more surprised by myself for not getting more freaked out. She unpredictable, and smarter than she lets on."

*She shrugs*

"Needs to calm the homocidal vibes though, I'd be more worried about Em when he's around her."

Notes: Slightly unsettled by Raven's (Nickname: "Bubbles") clinginess to her. She is curious on Raven's interest in her, but also slightly wary of what she could do.

Snipper of Scorpion’s Den

*Her smile grows into a wide Chesire-like grin*

"Ah, finally! Snip's unlike the other lot in the academy. Just met 'er and I already love 'er to bits. Not one to detect social cues though, and is a little too loud at times."

*she winks at the camera* "Trust me when I tell ya that if you were to leave us alone for even 2 seconds, and we'll paint the town red."

Notes: She'll never admit it, but Snipper reminds her a little like her old friends on the street, before she found a roof over her head. She misses them, the people who shaped her and that she'll never see again, making the times she and Snipper hang out sometimes slightly more melancholic.

Outside that though, she's more than willing to watch Snipper testing on something or just working on Sandy.

Fray De Forêt

*She bites her lip, giving a wistful smile*

"Liliac's alright, I don't hate her, she's just a little bit of a snob. Then again, I've never really talked to nobility before, so maybe I should save the judgement for later."

*She stops and smiles slightly at the ceiling*

"Though, she does have a certain respect for nature. I can understand that. The forests hide so many secrets and animals, what's not to love about it?"

Note: She's doesn't really have many feelings towards Fray( Nicknamed: "Liliac"), though she respects her power. She'll listen to her demands and maaaybe oblige them, but she'll be damned if she gives Fray full control over her.

-------------Video freezes, a static of the TV hums, before the screen cuts off into darkness------------

---------------------VIDEO ENDS---------------------

[monaxikos-skantzoxoiros]

Why do people who studied something related to human or social sciences believe that capitalism is bad and socialism good?

Oh boy. Oh my God. Let me get my 2 brain cells together so I can deal with this effectively.

First of all. The question should be why and how people that study literally anything else are okay with the thought that one person can have an unimaginable amount of money while thousands, millions of others just barely manage to survive. How fucked up do you have to be to think of this condition (that's totally constructed and can totally be, if not undone, then at least evened out) as something natural? They may be called "humanities", or social sciences, but the other sciences are (and should be) human-centered too. They all have (or should have) our species' best interest in mind, to make our lives better, or else what's the point to understanding dark matter? Or finding out how we can grow plants in zero-gravity space? Literally none.

But, to answer your question, I think it has to do with the fact that we study ourselves. Whether someone studies history, sociology, psychology, literature or whatever else, the main focus of these studies is us, humans. As humans. Idk how else to describe it, but for example when I read Kahlil Gibran (a dude originally from Lebanon, born in the late 1800s), I, a white-ass non binary, atheist person in modern Greece, feel seen. I feel in touch with other humans, with (our) nature. I don't have to believe in his, or anybody else's, God or have the same standards for my life as they have. I feel at peace knowing that I'm me and they're them. And we're as different as it gets. But at the same time we're not different at all. We're humans. And we need the same things to live our otherwise different lives. I want the best for them, as I want the best for me. So it starts with the very basic realization that we're all the same. And that, if we're in any way privileged, it's by complete chance. And that's scary as FUCK. I've read a lot of history and philosophy and literature and very basic economics and, if anything, it has made me more angry and anxious and sad with the world we live in. With the fact that there's enough money to solve huge problems our world faces, many people face (and not just the "other" people that we think that are out of our comprehension's reach, not only the "third world countries", or the "developing world", but people in our own countries too). Other people may come to this conclusion from their own scientific perspective, but as a sociologist, I've learned how to analyse today's world and how it works from multiple points of view. And, historically, I can assure you that the world came to capitalism by chance (religion/philosophy played a huge part in it) and so far it has done more harm than good  (if u see it holistically). And capitalism doesn't just concern the "money" aspect of it all, economies are integrated into the social part of our lives. So some hundred people owning most of the world's money in some way affects every aspect of our lives.

And let me tell you- this reality we live in is not in our nature. Human beings developed in small groups to eat, socialize and reproduce. That's it. Just like any other species. And they shared their means of survival because that's what granted their livelihoods in the best way possible. So sharing and caring for others is in our nature. And if -historically- humans did things differently (socially, politically and economically- economy doesn't necessarily mean capitalism), they did that because they believed that they could survive more easily and with more certainty/security. So, understanding that nothing in our existence as a species has been as constant as the need to connect and share and have a good time... i, personally, come to the conclusion  that capitalism does not serve us. Of course things have, in many aspects, gotten better, no one can deny that, but they've gotten better for some people, while other people are kept from living an equally good life because these few hundred rich af people profit from them. But to see all of that and the way that this works you have to care and you have to be willing to open your eyes and read different things than what you already do and to be uncomfortable. But what privileged enough person wants to ditch their #aesthetic bullshit #instagrammable life to read and be uncomfortable? Who wants to think that they could lose what they have? Or not be considered #in and favorable?

[keystonewarrior]

Modern Dependency

There are people wandering about in the world who just cannot take care of themselves.  This is almost never a character flaw or a reflection of their desire to live free and independent lives.

It may simply be that their brain isn’t wired up in a way that allows them to successfully self-supervise alone in public.  They need somebody, a family member or a care provider, to watch over their behavior.

Maybe they are the person who can walk themselves to the local fast foodery, order what they like, pay for it, and sit quietly and eat; but then they are gripped by some anxiety, or are overcome by information, and then they need their advocate to help to bring them back into behavioral parameters mundane people might call normal and to prevent them from being treated poorly by people on the scene or responding to it (i.e cops).  The can do some things (freedom) but they can’t fully act freely without just a little backup (independence).  It ain’t right, it ain’t wrong, it just is, and it is an injustice to leave such people to their fates instead of surrounding them with support so they might enjoy such freedom as they may.

Contrast this with the hypothetical behavior of another.  This person can safely drive a car, show up at work and do their job all day, open mail and pay bills and be (mostly, as if any of us are totally) responsible with their money, and they can even mostly conduct themselves in public in a manner mundane people might call normal.  But then they see somebody they find attractive and they behave inappropriately: they might holler out their car window making animal noises, they might try to sneak their cell phone into a position to take unwelcome photos of an attractive person, they might try to touch or grab the person they find attractive, they might commit a sexual assault, and almost all of this only ever occurs in the absence of an authority which could prevent them from behaving that way or punish them for doing so.  They cannot successfully self-supervise and need special attention, less in public and more to prevent them from arranging a way to be alone with one person.

Their dependency on supervision does not need to be a permanent condition, but even if it becomes permanent let me make clear this is not because the person is lazy but because they simply need a little help.

Unfortunately, the thinking of extremists tends toward extreme maltreatment of people who need a little support (or even a lot of support).  The typical extremist thinker would rather punish the misbehavior of the person needing support and they label the behavior laziness or predatory.  Instead of seeing possible positive outcomes of prevention they believe simple punishment to be cheaper, when it is in fact much more expensive.  Prevention is almost always cheaper than the cure.  The worst extremists often default to euthanasia or imprisonment of people who simply need a little supervision.  Extremists tend to prefer a heavy-handed response by armed police to a situation that could easily be resolved with a much lighter hand. 

Homelessness falls into this category too.  We have empty places and we have people who need a home.  We have jobs that need to be filled and people who could do them.  It requires very little in the way of creative problem solving to put all of this together.  The biggest obstacles are people who believe that somebody has to profit from problem solving and other people who don’t mind solving problems they just want the problem solved far away from where they reside.  How many towns are there in the parts of the US most people fly over or drive through without pause that have empty homes and even empty storefronts?  The reason there are empty homes and empty businesses is because of the erroneous concept that a person must make money off a thing to justify the presence of the thing.  If economic opportunity existed there, then the homes and storefronts wouldn’t be empty.  There are both market-based and socialized government based solutions to empty homes.  

Imagine if you can a few empty houses in a little Kansas town.  There are big enough yards and local fields that could easily spare half an acre.  If the homes need a little fixing to make them livable again there is probably a local contractor, handy man, or even hobbyist who could be paid to fix them.  An empty home doesn’t make a landlord any money (and an empty home when there are homeless people should never be a tax write-off).  Empty homes could even be seized through eminent domain if the landowner is a complete and unrepentant entitled asshole about it.  Move a homeless family, or a person, into the empty home.  For whatever reason, the family or persons were unable to successfully self-supervise and have a home and a job (in that order usually) and the reason may be acute or it may be chronic.  Given a home, having it handed to them free or very-low-cost, would come with strings attached.  They may be required to manage a garden of certain size, harvest food in season, use what they grow themselves, and give away or sell the rest (filling empty storefronts).  They are still free to seek local employment if it is available, even if only part time.  Chances are, local jobs are already occupied or aren’t paying enough or else somebody would be doing it and living in the home.  Given internet access, a recovering homeless family might be able to add to their income work done online.  Solutions are too numerous to list here.  But where a problem needs to be solved, there are plenty of places and plenty of resources to employ to fix things.  Now imagine an abandoned 600 room resort in Florida.

Modern dependency is not about individuals with poor character unwilling to take care of themselves.  Modern dependency is about people who can care for themselves, at least mostly or even sometimes only a little, provided the remainder of us who can care for others showing some compassion and offering the necessary assistance, at least a little bit or even sometimes quite a lot.  Even simply giving people a little recovery time can get them back into a place where they are not only managing things themselves, but they can join the ranks of those able to assist others.  The burden does not lay across the backs of the people who have problems, the burden is on those of us with the time, the tools, and the talent to solve problems.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Welcome to a little rant about Wanda’s personal perspective and how I use it to write her…

I’ve gotten some interesting messages over the past few weeks from a number of people, some of whom I write with and others who just felt like offering an opinion, regarding how I write Wanda. Let me state, this is not a callout post or meant to be anything negative. Everyone was polite and I actually welcome challenges to the way I write my muses as long as they are respectful. It helps me to defend why I do certain things with them and make sure I am keeping them in line with how I intend my interpretation of them to be presented. But I’ve gotten enough comments along the same lines that I thought  it might be useful (for me as well as for my followers) to explain why I go in certain mental/psychological/emotional directions with Wanda that, to some, might seem incredibly divergent from canon. So… consider this a brain rant for me to organize a crap ton of headcanons into one place, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway, haha

Below the cut because looooong. XD

People have said I write Wanda as if she is a very weak character, meaning I write her too insecure, emotional, and unable to rise to challenges. I just want to clarify that I do not write Wanda as a weak character, I write her as a character who often believes she is weak. There is a difference. Wanda is an “unreliable narrator,” which in a writing sense means that the character speaking, narrating, summarizing, or explaining something to the reader either directly through internal monologue or through the course of a story is misinforming the reader. An unreliable narrator may be misinformed themselves, and may relate information as if it is true because they believe it to be… but it is in fact not true. Or, their perspective may be skewed in ways they don’t consider or understand, resulting in interpretations of information by them that are simply not correct. The reader does not know this, and simply takes the character at their word until they learn otherwise.

This applies to the way I write Wanda. She often says things about herself that are not true or would not be true, but she herself believes them to be true. Regardless of Wanda’s actual power or abilities, she believes more than once in canon in the movies that she is unworthy, incapable, and unwanted. Just because Wanda thinks she could not survive without Pietro doesn’t mean she couldn’t… and we know she ultimately did. Just because she felt badly about the Accords and wanted to hang back and not cause any more trouble, doesn’t mean she should… and she didn’t. Just because she didn’t believe she could destroy the mind stone and told Vision she couldn’t doesn’t mean she couldn’t… and she did. So I just want to separate for a moment Wanda’s actual strength, abilities, and how others perceive her from how she views herself. They are certainly not the same, just as my perception of her is not the same as her perception of herself in a given thread. I am not commenting on Wanda’s character, she is, and she is a biased source of information on the subject, heh. Just because I write her as saying “I can’t,” “I won’t,” “I don’t deserve,” “I’m not good enough,” doesn’t mean I believe that. It’s Wanda who believes that. Mun and muse are not the same.

Some people say I am making her more mentally unstable than she is and giving her low self-esteem she doesn’t have. First, I am drawing from Wanda’s personality in the comics a bit and from some aspects of her character there that was never done in the movies. Second, I elaborate on what any healthy person might think, feel, and go through having been through the traumas that she has, since the MCU seemed content to just ignore any and all processes of grieving, overcoming trauma, and adjusting to huge geographic and cultural life changes. So I am filling in and extrapolating from that, but I am also developing the tiny tidbits of what the MCU did show us to go into more depth on her thought process behind them, because there are a few canon things that show us that Wanda is dealing with a lot more mental trauma and stress than we sometimes give her allowances for.

A Note on Age and Experiences in Hydra’s Laboratory

I write Wanda (and Pietro as well over at @fasterthanmydemons) as younger than canon MCU. Yes, I agree Aaron and Lizzie do not look 17 or 18 but eh, they’re their FCs so I work with it however I can, heh. And yeah, in cases of writing with other muns writing the twins, I usually just modulate their ages up without even asking because I know that having them younger is something that is not well accepted in the fandom. I have a couple reasons for doing so, however, that do affect how they function.

First, I feel that they are very emotionally immature. That’s not meant to be a negative thing, I just mean that they seem very isolated, dependent on each other, and they behave in ways that give me the sense that they are very inexperienced. The sense I get is of older teenagers or young adults that have been made to grow up very, very fast… and there are some gaps in that process because of it, heh. In some ways they are wise beyond their years, but in many other ways they are still very young and inexperienced, with skewed and sheltered views of the world.

Secondly, I really hate the MCU plot for them, heh. The whole… well we volunteered for a Hydra experiment (even if they thought they were dealing with SHIELD) seems really dumb. Why would 20-something year-olds make decisions that incredibly naïve? And why would they stay on the streets for 10-something years, with all that animosity and drive toward change, and not do anything more about it? It just seems… so unrealistic. It’s possible, I’m not saying it’s not, but in my mind, it makes more sense if they were a lot younger when they volunteered. Idealistic children thinking this would solve their problems and empower them, easily duped by Hydra into thinking they were with SHIELD, and physically smaller and easier to control. That’s how I imagine the twins. So my timeline for them is that they were orphaned at 10, spent a few years on the streets, but then volunteered at around age 14 or 15, staying there until they were almost 18. They are close to their 18th birthdays during the events of Ultron. That’s my timeline for them, but like I said, I know that is not well accepted, so I am usual very flexible in changing this even if I continue to write them in my head as if I am still following my own timeline. (If I am in an rp with you right now for either twin and you have a question about something, don’t hesitate to ask, since I know that can affect how people frame the stories in their heads and such.)

So because of this, because they are younger and have been in Hydra’s laboratory for 3-4 years instead of 1 or less than 1, this will change their mental health, emotional stability, and how they view the world. My twins are perhaps even more bitter and angry than in MCU canon to start out, are very overtly emotionally dependent on each other, and have more physical and emotional scars from their treatment at Hydra’s hands. I’ve made their time in the laboratory, their decision to volunteer for it, and their ultimate essential imprisonment by Hydra while the experiments were going on to be far more of a definite event in their lives that had real lasting impacts on their psyche, not just a plot point to be mentioned a couple times but with no perceivable impact as the MCU movies would have you believe.

Being in the laboratory for that extended amount of time also allows me to expand upon Hydra’s purpose in experimenting on them. Why the actual hellnuts would Hydra empower the twins and then just let them go? Yeah okay, they let them out of their cells and maybe the twins simply made a break for it, but I see more than that. Two things, really: Hydra’s overall purpose for them, and the reason why they didn’t leave well before that even though they were capable of doing so.

I believe Hydra wanted to turn them into weapons of mass destruction. Honestly, Hydra is only out for itself, and what it wants is the dissolution of democracy and the subjugation of nations and races it disagrees with or believes are inferior to them. With these twins, I think Hydra wanted their own anti-Avengers, like the Winter Soldiers, but with added powers. To use them for this purpose, they would not have just tinkered around with Loki’s staff, granted them some fun powers, and then left them alone. No, they would have Romanoffed them. Physical and mental conditioning, training to become spies, education regarding languages, geography, and politics, things like that. So my interpretation of the twins is that they were taught a lot by Hydra, but for Hydra’s own purposes and under extreme duress and threat of punishment if they did not learn in a timely fashion. This was especially difficult for Pietro, who had a horrible time focusing and sitting still, but Wanda also suffered abuse for she was the most feared of the two and Hydra felt a greater need to control her.

Which brings us to why the twins didn’t escape earlier if they were being so badly mistreated. This also makes a lot more sense if they were very young when they volunteered, but I suppose it could happen regardless. I believe there was a very obvious abuser-abused relationship going on between the twins and Hydra, whereby they were held captive more by their own minds than by any bars, guns, or electronics. What I mean is, when a level of abuse is reached where one feels like attempting to leave will only make things worse and/or their abuser will always find them no matter where they go, they could be, for example, standing freely right next to soldiers as they discuss what is going on outside the facility and not lift a finger to try to escape. This happens in real life, where abused people are left alone, door open, car in the driveway, keys in hand, and yet they don’t try to escape. Their own fear holds them in place. This is one of two explanations I have for why the twins didn’t break out sooner, and it’s a reason that I think especially affected them when they were very young and first starting out.

The other explanation is that they had a legitimate goal to meet, and regardless of how much they were suffering, they thought they had to see it through to the end. Yes, they were being mistreated, but they signed up for a means to destroy the Avengers and dammit they were going to see it through. It wasn’t until the Avengers showed up and the soldiers around them were like weeeeeeell, we could send the twins, but they’re not ready yet… that Wanda and Pietro were like fuck yeah we are and decided at that point that they were 1000% done and left to pursue their goal. The laboratory had outlived its usefulness to them at that point and the fear of not achieving their goal of challenging the Avengers begins to outweigh their fear of retaliation from Hydra. 

Alright, back to focusing on Wanda more specifically, since this is her blog , heh.

Blaming Herself for Things Outside Her Control

Wanda takes things very personally. She is a perfectionist, and a very empathetic person. That combination often leaves her feeling like something is her fault when things go wrong and result in people being hurt. During the battle of Sokovia, Wanda all but has a panic attack inside a building with Clint, muttering to herself, “How could I let this happen? It’s all my fault.” Suddenly there she is, taking responsibility for an entire city being attacked. Now, I suppose some would argue that her support of Ultron led to that, but I think that’s a bit unfair, given the amount of lies and misinformation that both twins were exposed to during their time in the Hydra laboratory. My point is, yes, Wanda blames herself for thing constantly. It is a canon part of her personality. I believe this blame and even sometimes a fear of responsibility stems from her losing so many people she loves. The common factor, as she sees it, is her, so therefore she must be to blame and doing something wrong. That’s not true, but that is how she perceives things.

Dependency on Her Brother

Wanda is emotionally dependent on Pietro while he is alive. That does not mean she cannot learn to live without him and to let him go, but it will not happen overnight and it will not be easy. Her dependency is not just borne out of love for a close sibling. It has been forged in trauma. Being persecuted as a child for being Romani and a witch, losing her parents, losing them in an incredibly frightening way, living on the streets, being experimented on… all these things made her cling to her brother even more than she might have already just due to being a twin. Think of Pietro like a very complex service animal for Wanda. Have you ever seen the bond between a soldier or trauma victim and their service animal? It’s incredibly deep and emotionally necessary. Take that kind of relationship and now apply it to a brother, your twin, someone you deeply love and expect to always be there with you… and then take it all away. Not only does Wanda now have to deal with all these traumas in her life that are recurring issues for her due to PTSD, but now her main support system is suddenly gone and his death is yet one more trauma that will haunt her for the rest of her life, especially since she physically felt him die.

And, to be fair, as a side note, Pietro is also emotionally dependent on Wanda. They have a sort of mutually synergistic relationship going on as far as how they deal with trauma. Wanda deals with it by seeking emotional comfort and safety with Pietro, whether in his embrace or listening to his reassuring words. That feeling of having someone watching over her and protecting her is very grounding and calming to her. Pietro copes with trauma by putting himself in a position in which he feels he has more control over the situation. I don’t mean he’s controlling of Wanda (those aspects of the comics I hate and do not use in my interpretation of him on his blog). I mean that the way he copes with all the bad things that have happened to them is to feel like he won’t let it happen again. He assumes a protector role for Wanda, not only because he genuinely wants to keep her safe, but because it fulfills an emotional need for him to have enough to control over any given situation to keep his sister safe. So the way in which she places her emotional safety in his hands and he assumes the role of a protector serves to accomplish the same purpose of helping them cope with trauma, but in ways that are unique to them and their own emotional needs.

Once that relationship is severed after Pietro’s death, it shatters a lot of things for Wanda, including emotional security and self-identity. She’s no longer a well-supported twin, she’s alone. Now, we all know that it’s canon that she is able to move on and survive without him, but it is also canon that she stayed behind in Sokovia after exacting her revenge on Ultron, seemingly not in any hurry to leave as the city was about to be destroyed. Suicidal thoughts? Intent to commit suicide? Perhaps that is open to interpretation, but I believe yes, she did intend to die then. Her brother was her entire world at that point. I think Wanda couldn’t imagine life without him and didn’t want to either. After Vision saves her, she isn’t just going to suddenly be fine with continuing on without Pietro. Even if she did not make another attempt on her life, Wanda still would be in that mindset of why am I still alive? and would not see a point to going on without him. Somewhere in between that mindset and finding purpose with the Avengers, she will heal regarding this issue, but between the events of Ultron and Civil War, she will be on an emotional rollercoaster, and I think that is more than implied in canon even if we never got to see it.

Feeling Like People Dislike Her or Are Angry With Her

Wanda comes from a place of believing most people dislike her or even hate her, and I want to put into perspective why that is. Again, I draw from things in the comics, so Wanda is a mutant and was born with her abilities. I then combine the MCU story to say that Hydra’s experiments enhanced what was already there. She is Romani and her religion is a mix of Judaism and polytheism, so she has faced cultural and religious persecution from the time she was a young child. Her powers got her the label of “witch,” which is not merely derogatory, it’s downright frightening. Being called a witch where she grew up could mean you were hunted and killed. So from a very young age she learned that who and what she was would likely be perceived by most people, whether it was true or not, as bad. Now, Wanda has a lot of pride in being Romani, but even so, she has learned that most people come at her with prejudice and hatred, and that makes her wary and defensive.

By the time she joins the Avengers, this feeling is exacerbated by her rocky start with them in Ultron. Her mental attacks let them all very shaken and even resentful of her to varying degrees, and that was not lost on Wanda. Even after she is supposedly accepted, she remembers what she did to them and is sure they remember too. Things like being confined to her room in Civil War to “avoid further public incidents” show a lack of trust in her that not only makes her think that resentment for what she did is still there, but it flares that same defensiveness that she’s felt all her life for cultural and religious reasons.

Having said all of this, Wanda wants to be accepted. Her desire to not cause any more problems in Civil War is indicative of that when she tells Clint, “I’ve caused enough trouble,” and initially refuses to defect with him. But ultimately, Wanda is someone who will follow her heart and what she feels is right, regardless of her inhibitions, insecurities, and phobias.

Insecurity about her abilities

This is something that is not discussed a lot in canon, but I feel it’s definitely part of her personality. Wanda doesn’t believe in herself as far as her ability to do things, and it has nothing to do with how powerful she is. She knows she’s powerful. What she believes she lacks is the focus and stability to use that power. I believe this is what causes her to hang back so long after Clint’s “if you step out that door, you’re an Avenger” speech. Not only is she genuinely scared of what’s going on (this is the first full-scale battle she’s been on the front lines for, don’t forget that for a second), but she doesn’t know if she can focus enough to get the job done. Something that people who are in a full-scale skirmish for the first time have a lot of trouble with if they have no battle training whatsoever is sensory overload… and Wanda was knee deep in it at that point. There were too many loud noises, too many arrows and bullets and robots and things flying around in every direction, and also don’t forget that Wanda is sensitive to energies around her, so any magical blasts or gunpowder blasts or lasers or anything is going to be something she’ll perceive like the hairs standing up on your skin after a lightning strike. That’s… a lot of information for a young woman with little to no battle experience to take in all at once. I think it all got the better of her and she knew that, so before she could go back out, she had to calm down and refocus, which is why you see her so much more confident the next time she steps out.

Another time when this insecurity regarding her abilities reared its ugly head was when Vision was pleading with her to destroy the mind stone. She simply told him, “I can’t.” Most will say that she was merely saying “I can’t kill you” from the point of view of a loved one not wanting to kill another loved one. That is part of it, yes, but she didn’t say she wouldn’t, she said she can’t. I think Wanda had some real doubts as to whether she could set aside her own emotions enough to get the job done. She absolutely has the ability to do it, as Vision tells her, because from someone outside looking in he can see how capable she is, but from her point of view she must have felt like a totally erratic and unreliable mess. Ironic, then, that she not only is able to focus enough to destroy the stone, but to also hold Thanos back while she does it. Wanda sees nothing extraordinary about that at all, however. No, in fact, her proclivity to blame herself returns and she feels she completely dropped the ball that day in not being able to successfully stop Thanos.

Summary

So… Wanda does not give herself enough credit for what she has been through, what she has survived, what she can survive, and what she can accomplish. She is very scarred by her past, between her frightening and difficult childhood, living on the streets, the Hydra experiments, and losing her entire family… and those scars will be there with her for the rest of her life. She is a very damaged and, at times, broken person. But, having said that… she is also brave, strong, kind-hearted, helpful, and loving as well, under the right circumstances and with the right people. She can accomplish amazing things (as we saw in the movies), she just needs to believe that herself. That is one my biggest goals in writing Wanda and something I love to see happen for her, when she begins to believe in herself and stops defining herself based on others or on past deeds or traumas. I love to see her go from a very broken place through the healing process and arriving in a place that isn’t necessarily happier for her, but stronger and more stable. Wanda was robbed of this kind of healing and redemption arc in the MCU, and I intend to give her many of them on this blog, heh. And poor Pietro was robbed of… well… pretty much everything, so my work is cut out for him as well, heh.

If you have any questions, want to make any comments, or want to drop some follow-up asks in my inbox, please feel free to do so! As I said, I love to constantly build on and develop my interpretations of my muses, so you are never bothering me with character development questions. =)

[statusquoergo]

Pour one out for the total lack of Mike Ross callouts in this episode; I guess they filled up their pre-episode 5 quota with that deluge last time.

In any event, we get the ball rolling this time with a reminder that Samantha served…somewhere…at some point… Not that the specifics matter overmuch, I just think that if they want to make this such a key feature of her personality, they should invest some time in fleshing it out instead of tossing a reference in whenever it’s convenient. Anyway her old Marines buddy Lucas was fired from SW Industries for botching a DoD contract, he suspects nepotism is at play, and she takes the case pro bono even though he’s got his pride and tries to turn down her charity.

Smash cut to Donna and Harvey visiting Louis at home, before work, to formally divulge to him their new relationship status, and the revelation that Louis apparently wears Speedos instead of underwear, because I super needed to know that. Louis is again explicitly mocked for not getting that they’re dating as Harvey marvels that he ever got through law school, and I, for one, am over it. “It” being this show’s treatment of Louis’s character. He’s mature until he’s not, he’s growing until he has the same setback for the fifth time in a row, he’s coming into his own until he can’t control his emotions or make a rational decision to save his life. I’m done with being told to laugh derisively at his cluelessness and his quirky habits while simultaneously being asked to admire his devotion to saving his firm at any cost as he insists that a man’s character is his most valuable asset. Louis could have developed into a really interesting character, but they can’t seem to stop shooting themselves in the foot every time they have the chance.

Side note, am I the only one who thought Harvey’s smile at “we’re happy” looked more like a grimace? Boy’s got some inner conflicts to work out.

Back at the firm, I do my very best to ignore the fact that the Bar Association doesn’t have the authority to install a special master, and a special master doesn’t have the authority to unilaterally decide to take over a law firm, as Faye Richardson steps right into my good graces with a severely truncated list of the firm’s biggest grievances. Namely, Jessica’s and Robert’s disbarments, Mike’s prison term (this doesn’t count as a callout, she doesn’t even name him), and the firm’s higher-ups definitely having been a party to the fraud, even though they were never charged. She undercuts it a little by “wiping the slate clean of everything [they’ve] ever done,” but I mean at least she’s there, so that’s a start. Her first act as supreme overlord is to take Robert’s name off the wall, at which point Samantha flips her shit and does herself precisely zero favors by promising to dig up dirt on Faye if she goes through with it; Faye, who’s apparently used to reactions like that, gives no fucks, informing them that their “days of operating however [they] want are over,” and all I have to say about that is better late than never.

Samantha’s reaction to all this is to threaten to quit rather than seek permission she won’t get to take Lucas’s case, and Harvey, who wasn’t the managing partner even before Faye showed up, takes it upon himself to give her permission to keep the case by lying that she took it last night rather than that morning and I don’t know who’s using the shared single brain cell right now, but I think Harvey needs to borrow it for a minute. Louis and Alex bitch at each other about whose fault it is that Faye is there at all and Gretchen, who’s apparently worked at every law firm in the city, confides that as managing partner at her old firm, Faye stripped her husband’s name from the wall and fired him for crossing “some kind of line,” indicating that she is in fact a cold-hearted bitch, but also giving Louis the idea that she does care about the Bar, and this is going to end well, I’m sure.

In her first move of actually making a move, Faye asks Donna, in her role as the firm’s COO, to set up a meeting with Thomas Kessler so Faye can ask him why he left. Donna snidely informs her that she has a reputation for solving problems rather than hiding them, and I’d like to bring to the court’s attention the events of “Break Point” (s02e05), in which Donna quite consciously and to potentially devastating effect went out of her way to hide a problem. By shredding it. In a shredder.

Donna promises to set up this meeting and then rushes to warn Harvey about it, and they have a very weird exchange that I honestly don’t know how to interpret. To wit, Harvey says that he knows she’ll disagree with him, but Faye needs to go; of course Donna doesn’t disagree, but like, why did he think she would? The whole firm was pretty abrasive toward Faye in that first meeting, and they all know just how many skeletons are buried under the floorboards; why would any of them want her around?

Cue flirty banter and my first major Darvey red flag of the evening: Harvey says it’s unlike Donna to not try to talk him out of it. Ignoring the fact that “it” is a vague concept rather than a concrete plan, this overt admission that their dynamic is him doing stuff and her trying to convince him not to do that stuff doesn’t do much to convince me that this relationship is particularly functional, or healthy, or makes either of them especially happy. They go back and forth on which of them became less uptight since they fucked (“Since we, uh.” “Since we what?” “Nothing. Since we nothing.” “That’s right.”) and Harvey declares that between the two of them, he’s the one acting consistently, and if by that he means “shoving his emotional turmoil way down deep until he’s almost walking on it and pretending everything’s fine until it explodes,” then yes, I have to agree.

Next up we have Samantha barging into Lucas’s former place of business to accuse the CEO of wrongful termination, her main argument seeming to be that Lucas deserves his job because he’s a veteran. The CEO informs her that “Lucas was far from perfect,” including missing work at crunch time and apparently assaulting an employee to the point of needing medical care; after beating us over the head with these hints that Lucas has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), he sends Samantha on her way, and here’s hoping they don’t botch this too badly.

Louis continues to erode my faith in his character by storming into Benjamin’s office—yes, Benjamin, the IT guy, who “just set up [Faye’s] firewall this morning,” because that’s a thing—to demand that he find a loophole in the Bar’s 3000-page long, non-digitized bylaws that’ll allow him to get rid of Faye. Couple things here: One, Benjamin is in IT, he doesn’t know how to find a loophole in the bylaws. Two, the New York State Bar Association’s bylaws are 41 pages long, including amendments and indices, and they’re available online, for free, in PDF format.

Part II

[gedanken-explosionen]

Fighting racism is not nitpicking small shit like phrases that are mildly based in making white people feel less horrible about all the negative shit other white people do. Fighting racism, at least for me, would be way more people (white or not) educating other people on how to handle and maybe even change actual racists. I feel like it's kinda obviously the bigger problem compared to a phrase we say a lot that is based in making us feel less bad about what others do (still not good, but I feel like visible/direct racism is mildly more important to tackle). And I see tons of y'all just keep pushing the small stuff and a ton of people do it with negativity...and let me tell you, that just makes people attach a bad emotion to solving this problem, even tho it's good to solve it.

Like I'm white, I obviously don't condone racism, I probably say phrases like "I hate humanity" (based in feeling less guilty as a white person) a lot and I definitely want to learn how to get rid of racism...but even I start to not want to learn about it cause so many people online attach so much negativity to how they talk about these problems and some don't even get to the "solving problems" point. Like, I get you are mad at all of this and that's valid, your culture went and is still going through sh*t. But that aggression belongs in rants, not in educating people. Attaching a negative vibe to learning never helped anyone. I'd like to learn about helping marginalized groups without being practically yelled at for stuff that more than half of PoC don't even categorize as a problem (the phrase I mentioned above as an example).

Can I just learn about fighting racism without reading a text/post of someone being mad over small stuff that is so irrelevant compared to the big problems? Like...dude. Some of you are really not helping your own culture grow.

I'm part of LGBT+ and people from my community do that nitpicking thing too...it's coming with all these kinds of issues. But god, I just see it more and more being about racism without actually solving anything. At. All. Why are you ranting when you could give resources. I don't get it. The only time I nitpick homophobic stuff is when someone publicly really f-ed up. Not at random times on twitter or Tumblr. Guess that makes me a bit hypocritical. But I just can't see the hatred anymore when everyone with more than three brain cells wants this problem solved.

You are on a platform that loves education. Make educational posts. I wanna learn how to solve the big problems first before you take me apart for using some small phrase that isn't even a problem until you science the hell out of it. Thanks for listening, bye.

[keets-writing-corner]

Flaws VS Struggles

Includes minor mentions of

Toy Story

Happy Feet

If you remember, I mentioned in Intro to Character that Flaws and Struggles were frequently confused, and yet both essential for characters. This took a while to get out, but here we go, Flaws VS Struggle and what’s the difference.

Flaws

Ah yes yes. All characters need flaws, but again, Flaws are often confused with Struggle. Unlike Struggle, Flaws are completely static and do not change. They work directly with Strengths. Let’s look at two real life examples.

Extroversion. Known to be outgoing, high level of energy, social, friendly, aka what society usually favors over Introversion. Strengths include again, social, friendly, talkative, which means they’re probably great at working in groups, don’t generally keep information about themselves bottled up and are able to share, and even leaving better first impressions. Now let’s look on the flip side. If people with high extroversion are highly sociable, then they likely don’t like being alone or working alone. If they’re talkative, it could very well be that they don’t know when to stop talking, talk at the wrong times, or even talk over quieter voices in a conversation.

Now let’s look at introversion. This is the opposite of extroversion. Highly extroverted people seek company because that’s where they get their energy. Highly introverted people seek solitude because they get their energy from being alone. Introverts are known for being quiet and alone. Introversion strengths include being creative, being able to work well alone, introspective, being more analytical about the world around them, and oftentimes empathetic. Flaws of introversion include being unable to speak up to contribute an idea in company of louder people, being overly stimulated in large crowds which leads to energy drainage and need to recharge.

You can’t “fix” a person’s introversion or extroversion, it’s just how they are, and how they function. This is how flaws work. Everything in life has a cost, a flip end to it, and the Flaw is just the cost of the Strength. This also applies to physical strengths and weaknesses.

Let me offer a more personal example, on the extreme end of flaw (as in, I’ll be providing an example of something that has a lot more flaws than strengths to it). I have a blood disorder known as Thalassemia Beta Minor. What does this mean for me? At the very basicness of it, it means I’m chronically anemic, aka I get tired faster, and for longer than the average person. This means I have a hard time keeping up with people when it comes to physical activities. I can’t run for as long as most people, an entire day of work will wear me out faster than everyone else, and I’ll be sleepier a lot more often, bordering on mild narcoleptic symptoms. You know what else this means? I have low blood pressure. Sounds great in a world where high blood pressure is a frequent concern, but low blood pressure also has its cost. For one, I get cold a lot faster than everyone else, and it’s hard to warm back up (aka I’m completely intolerant to cold). Also, I’ve passed out before because I stood up too quickly, I always need to watch how slowly I stand up. It’s not the worse disorder a person can have, but definitely annoying. However, it does come with one GIANT perk. I can’t get malaria.

That’s right. You heard me. I can’t get malaria. My blood cells don’t live long enough for the malaria eggs to incubate and hatch, and so they die with my cells.

Similar to “internal” Strengths/Flaws, there’s no really fixing physical Strengths/Flaws either. They’re just kind of there, and it’s up to the character to figure out how to use it.

Now because there’s the whole “CHARACTERS MUST BE FLAWED” thing going around, this will sometimes lead to characters being randomly assigned flaws with no good reason behind them, and will at best be completely unnatural and forced. I will say this once, and probably many times again, but here we go: FORCING THINGS ONTO CHARACTERS IS UNNATURAL AND LEADS TO POOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Characters should NEVER have flaws forced upon them for the sake of having flaws. Aka, forcing a character to “be bad at math” for no other reason other than “they need a flaw” is an empty excuse. Why is a character bad at math? Is their brain just on the more creative side of things? It’s more natural and easier to observe a character’s strengths (which seems to be the first thing they get upon creation) and then look at the flip side of that strength.

Struggle

Now let’s look at my favorite (and arguably most important) part of characters, their struggle, and why it’s different from flaws. For starters, struggles are overcome-able unlike flaws which are static. Many stories deal with characters growing and overcoming their struggle. Tragedies are when characters cannot overcome them, and instead succumb to them. Aka, NOT A CHARACTER’S “FATAL FLAW”. A Flaw is a character’s feature, tangent with their strength, a Struggle causes them trouble. The other really important aspect of Struggle? It’s emotionally charged, Struggles make characters experience emotions, often painful ones.

Everyone loves seeing characters struggle because that’s what life is about, struggling, and overcoming them. Struggling is what makes the story real, no matter how many unicorns, and space monsters are in there. Struggles are the fastest ways for audiences to connect with characters, especially if they’ve struggled with what the character has too. There’s a reason that many heroes are orphaned, because loss, or fear of loss, is a universal experience, and immediately endears the heroes to the audience.

And the best part about Struggle? It can be anything. Now, again, *grabs megaphone* DO NOT FORCE A STRUGGLE ONTO A CHARACTER JUST BECAUSE THEY NEED TO STRUGGLE. Look at a character’s story, what makes sense for them to struggle with? For example, say a character experienced a death, now they’re struggling with grief and loss, and everything that comes with it. And here’s the thing about struggling, sometimes, it can’t be overcome, you have to learn to live with it, but it’ll still cause you trouble, like grief. Of course, when I say Struggle can be anything, I mean, it can literally be anything, and consequently has many different categories (and fret not friends! While I’m only glossing over this stuff here, I do have many posts planned for exploring Struggles!)

There are Struggles like Anxieties, Being Different, Grief, Mental Disorders, or even Medical Conditions, these are more about overcoming feelings and emotions pertaining to these struggles, rather than making sure these struggles are solved. (Note 1: Anxiety is a fickle line here, on the one hand, with proper therapy and or character development, it can be overcome, on the other hand it’s still overcome through dealing with the emotions pertaining to it that it still ties in with these guys) (Note 2: Notice that my blood disorder could fall in here, if it’s existence caused me anguish, or negative emotions, which would make it a physical flaw and a struggle. AKA, a flaw can contribute to a struggle. However, I couldn’t care less about my blood disorder and just kinda deal with it at face value, which means I do not Struggle with it).

There are Struggles like having goals, facing obstacles, being bullied. These Struggles are the ones that the source must be overcome in order to overcome the feelings that come with it.

And then, there’s Struggle’s little sister

Immaturity

Immaturity is an off-branch of Struggle. It happens often enough in stories, and is different enough from Struggles and Flaws that I feel like it qualifies as its own thing, while still belonging to both groups (closer to Struggle than Flaw in my opinion, but a case can be made for it belonging more to Flaw). Immaturity is like Struggle in that it’s one of the best and easiest ways characters show growth through overcoming it, but it’s like Flaw because usually it’s not something that actively bothers the character, or a problem they might even realize they have.

When I say Immaturity, I’m not talking about day-dreaming about castles in clouds, laughing at anything related to butts and armpits, and just overall cliché, childish things, because those are usually unique to children (*coughs* usually). When I say Immaturity, I’m talking about traits that show a person’s maturity (“No duh keet”). Aka, a child can be mature and still have childish traits, while an adult can be immature with no childish traits. Confused?

Immaturity in this sense is: Pride, Arrogance, Greed, Self-Righteousness, feeling of Entitlement, Selfishness, Prone to Tantrum/Anger, and Lack of Understanding of Emotions (for self and/or others) to name a few. Easier to understand now how an adult can be immature but not childish, while a child can be mature but childish?

Immaturity is usually where a character experiences growth. Struggle is akin to overcoming, while Immaturity is akin to growth and development. All people (and to an extent all characters) are immature to different degrees. Some people might be more mature than others, but everyone’s got room to grow no matter how mature one is.

Let’s go back to my quick mention of Woody from Toy Story in my Intro to Character post. In the first movie, Woody is selfish and jealous of Buzz. By Toy Story 2, they’re good friends, and the jealousy is gone. Woody matured throughout the movie, and out-grew these traits. Most of Woody’s actual struggles were just obstacles in the way of getting home, and of getting what he wanted. Pixar movies tend to focus a lot more on maturity and immaturity than they do on internal struggles. Which is neither good nor bad (honestly, quite important in this day and age), it’s just how they feel is the best way to tell their stories.

Let’s look at a different movie in which it’s not the main character’s job to mature, but everyone else’s. Happy Feet. Mumble is a remarkably mature character. He is selfless, polite, humble, not vengeful, and overall just a delight to be around. He struggles with being very different from his society who keeps demanding he conform. It’s his society that learns to mature throughout the course of the movie and be more open-minded.

There are multiple ways to use both Immaturity and Struggle in differently, and no single way is the right way. They are also so closely related, that it can be confusing to work with them, and oftentimes is easier to just pick one and stick with it. However, working with both together can lead to a truly powerful character.

[ikesenhell]

The Surge

This is part seven of To Honor And Protect. You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here. NOTE: Some of this is violent/gory. While I would hope it isn’t considered excessive, you are forewarned.

On the western border, a second patrol was dispatched. 

The first one hadn’t come back from their simple reconnaissance. Some in the barracks grumbled about stupid greenhorns, out getting drunk. Some of them sighed and wondered how you could get lost on a straight path. But the officers worried silently, bolstered by Mitsuhide Akechi’s warnings. 

They found the first body halfway down the track. Were it not for his uniform boots they might not have recognized him at all. The mangled ruin of his torso scatted halfway across the grass, entrails wound around the tree where they found the second one. As for the other three, no amount of searching did any good. 

But clutched in the ruby-red, dripping fist of their unlucky comrade, they found a slip of paper. No--not paper. The men recoiled in fear when they realized it was skin, peeled raw from something inhuman, and branded deep into the flesh was an arcane sigil. 

Mitsunari wasn’t allowed a book in his cell. He tried asking, but they refused, doubtless on the grounds that something in it would assist his skills. His request for a piece of chalk was equally refused. 

“Look,” he sighed at the jailer. “I can’t do anything with that aside from draw. I just want to do a little bit of math to keep myself occupied.”

The soldier stared at him sideways. “How can we trust that you won’t make some kind of summoning circle with it?”

“That isn’t even how it works. I’d need something sharper than chalk to do anything.” 

No amount of words could convince them to fill his request. Defeated, Mitsunari took to counting bricks and calculating them with imaginary equations, solving each with frustrating ease. Time eked by. Each hour passed in agonizing slowness, and even trying his hand at meditation did little for his rushing thoughts. What of the Princess? Was she okay? His last vision of her was her tears, and he couldn’t take that. He’d made her cry. How could he forgive himself?

After a week, Kennyo and the King came to visit, flanked by Nobunaga and Hideyoshi. 

“Your Highness.” Despite his stiffness, Mitsunari forced himself to kneel. 

“It’s alright, Ishida.” The King motioned for him to stand. Kennyo was less forgiving. 

“Mage.” He thrust out a piece of paper, a symbol scrawled on it. “What does this mean?”

Mitsunari squinted at it, craning his neck forward. Hideyoshi coughed.

“My lord, he needs his glasses.” After a pause, the King nodded and Hideyoshi stepped forward, presenting Mitsunari with one of his pairs. 

“Oh! Thank you.” Settling them on his nose, he stared at the symbol again. It was... familiar. A thousand thoughts raced through his brain, sorting through each with calculator precision. Well, the symbology certainly wasn’t of a healing kind. It didn’t have the shape or make of a summoning spell in the strictest sense, nor was it some kind of dangerous contraption...

“I’m waiting.” Lord Kennyo snipped. 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a bit longer.” Mitsunari answered as kindly as he could. He didn’t blame the man. How could you trust someone who used blood as a tool? “You have to understand, magical sigils aren’t easy to unpack. Each mage has their own that needs to be deciphered. There isn’t enough unity, obviously, for a uniform system to establish itself.”

“One of our patrols was attacked to the west.” Nobunaga explained. “Mutilated beyond recognition. Three are still missing. One had a piece of skin clutched in his hand, branded with this.”

Oh. Mitsunari hesitated, taking another look at the symbol. “Well...”

“Well?”

“I...” He paused. “I’m sorry. This will sound like a ploy, but I need to see my books.”

“You have books on this?” Kennyo raised both brows. 

“Yes. How else would I learn? I have to do some research on this. If I’m correct, this could be quite bad indeed. I think this is a repeat of the Great Army.”

All save Nobunaga paled. A hundred years ago though it was, the Great Army was not forgotten. It was the single reason for the banishment of magic in the whole region. Once, a great general had made a monstrous army of horrific, twisted creatures of flesh and blood, sending them into the world to destroy and conquer. But though all knew the history, what the books did not detail was how the combating armies stopped the surge--or how the creatures were made in the first place. 

“How?” Lord Kennyo demanded. “We outlawed and burned all the books we could find.”

“Respectfully speaking, not terribly well.” Mitsunari smiled. “I had a whole library of them growing up. May I get to them, please?”

Apparently they knew they had no choice. Reluctantly, the King motioned to the jailer, who unlocked the cell and freed Mitsunari. 

“But you stay in irons,” Kennyo added.

“Lord Kennyo,” Nobunaga noted, amusement in his voice, “If Mitsunari can create shields with blood and take lives, I highly doubt a mere manacle would stop him. If he’d cared to kill us, he would have done so long before now.”

Mitsunari didn’t add to the point (which was terribly correct, if he really put his mind to it). The King sighed and simply set them forward to the library.

They presented him the sample of flesh, which he sat in a clear box on the massive library table, and set to work. The King had the whole of the place locked down just for him, and the silence settled him. Sometimes Mitsunari wondered how he felt more akin with pages than people. If souls were concrete things, he swore his was made of paper and bled ink. Among his kin, he could lose himself.

Hideyoshi visited most, bringing him food and forcing him to eat. Nobunaga brought updates and Mitsuhide further information. Otherwise, the intrusions were few, and the problem weighty enough to keep his interest.

That was likely why he didn’t even notice the door open one day. 

In fairness, he was up on a ladder, poised with a book and balanced just so against the railing. A chair shuffled. Food said his unconscious mind, conjuring a Pavlovian response to Hideyoshi’s coming and goings, and so he gingerly stepped down, never shutting the page. There was too much to absorb. Feeling his way to the table by memory, he settled down into a stool and groped around for a pen, and--settled his hand on another hand. 

“Sorry!” He jerked it back, glancing up to flash a smile at Hideyoshi. But it wasn’t Hideyoshi. Not at all. Instead, a pair of bright eyes stared back at him, mouth poised to say something, dark ringlets of hair swirling over her neck.

Oh. 

He shot to his feet so fast that the chair crashed to the floor behind him. “Princess, I--” Did he bow? Did he kneel? She didn’t want him to kneel before, but he figured now was a good time. He tried to get down, but his heel caught on the edge of the chair and he staggered over instead, catching himself narrowly on the floorboards. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, going to him.

“I’m sorry--I didn’t hear you--” Mitsunari fumbled over his words. “I--I didn’t realize you would visit--”

“I’m not technically allowed to.” A shy, nervous smile crept over her. 

“Then...” He tried to steady himself, to push down the heavy want of his heart. “You shouldn’t be here. I can’t drag you into this mess.”

“I wanted to see you. I didn’t get to after...” She lamely motioned. “You know.”

A long silence passed between them. Eventually, Mitsunari extricated himself enough from the chair so he could kneel properly before her. “I’m sorry, my lady.”

“Stop that.” She was so soft and kind, her hand touching his shoulder. “Stop that. I told you not to do this.”

“But...” He swallowed. “I’m sorry. I told you I wouldn’t do that again. I said I’d never do it again, and then I did.”

“It wasn’t the same as last time.”

“It almost was,” he admitted miserably. “I thought about it. I imagined stringing him up by his neck and watching his neck break.”

Silence. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because--because I didn’t want to. And because you didn’t want me to.”

Soft as a feather, she put a hand on his hair, stroking her thumb over his flyaway locks, and he nearly wept from the kindness. “My mother used to say, ‘What you think first is what you used to believe, and what you think second is what you really believe’. You didn’t want to do it. You’re not the same person. You protected my father, and that man was already dead. Kenshin’s blade would have done him in long before then.”

The full weight of her mercy sank in his chest, and--without thinking--he dropped entirely onto his knees, resting his head forward against her thighs. For the barest second she paused. Then, tender as ever, she pet his head again. 

“Thank you,” he croaked, holding her calves. “Thank you. Thank you.”

The Princess said nothing, just hushed him and stroked his hair. 

She visited him often after that. He suspected she’d spoken to her father about it, because her presence wasn’t a surprise to any of the Nine that came by. While he shoved his face into a book in search of answers, she carefully organized his notes and transcribed them into something legible, did her own cross-referencing and research.

But it was all too late.

The first volley hit the castle at night. It rocked it straight to the core, sending books flying from shelves and scattering over floorboards. Mitsunari recovered himself just before the second one. 

Oh no. 

Shoving as many reference books as he could get his hands on into a bag, he slung it over his shoulder and snatched the sample off the table, tearing into the hallway. He met Hideyoshi halfway to the central hall. 

“What’s happening?!”

“Attack.” Hideyoshi gasped, tossing Mitsunari his sword. “Come on!”

They raced to the throne room. Soldiers scattered everywhere, guided by various members of the Nine, but there in the eye of the storm, Nobunaga, Kenshin, Lord Kennyo, the King, and the Princess stood.

“We need answers,” Kennyo demanded as soon as Mitsunari arrived. “Now.”

“If I could give you any, I would,” he breathed. 

“My lords,” Hideyoshi gasped for air. “We need to evacuate. The castle can’t hold this many bombardments.”

Kenshin frowned, delicate as ever. “I can hold off the forces outside long enough to buy you space to get to a safer place.”

“And I can escort you.” Nobunaga agreed.

“My daughter.” The King managed. “My daughter--she needs to leave the city. I can’t have her in here during a siege.”

“Respectfully, we are a man down, your highness. We can’t afford to stretch ourselves thinner than we are.”

“I can protect her.” Mitsunari volunteered before he could stop himself. “I can do it.”

“No.” Kennyo snapped. “You won’t touch her.”

“I don’t have to touch her to protect her.”

“Don’t play dumb with me. We all know you’re sharper than you behave.”

But the King was staring at Mitsunari, his dark eyes intent. “You broke the law to protect my daughter before.”

“That...” Mitsunari swallowed dry. “Yes, your Highness. I did.”

“And you would stop at nothing to do it again?”

“Your Lordship--” Kennyo started, but the other man held up a hand to stop him. 

Mitsunari sank to one knee before them, planting his sword in the ground before him. “My life would be forfeit before I let anyone have your daughter.”

The ground rocked again. In the windows behind them, a massive storm brewed black and serious, waves beating like a howling animal. And at last--at last, the King nodded. 

“Take my daughter away from here.”

“Your Highness!” Kennyo protested again, but Mitsunari rose to his knees and bowed. 

“Of course. Hideyoshi and Nobunaga can reach me wherever I am. Princess?”

Again, the whole castle rocked. It was too late for any discussion. Grabbing the Princess by her hand, he drew his sword and they sprinted toward her tower, leaving the others behind them. Kicking the door open to hasten their escape, Mitsunari paused only a moment to stare across the city. Rooftops glowed with flame, the screams of civilians echoing down the streets. Distantly, fleshy, horrible things scrambled between houses and shops, followed by the agonizing shrieks of the doomed. There was no exit from the City--not that way.

“Princess,” he gasped, “Stay close to me.”

They took the steps to the dock as swiftly as they could. Wrapping his cloak tight around her, Mitsunari grabbed the nearest boat and unwound its rope, settling her into the seat before they set off into the choppy waves. 

“Where are we going?” She yelled above the turbulent wind.

Mitsunari forced on a smile, trying to look more confident than he felt. “The Trinity Islands!”