#their relationship and dynamic captivated me
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Besides your own which Iâve already read do you have any collage!bucky fic recs?
Hello lovely!
First of all, it makes me so, so happy that youâve been reading my college Bucky fics. And Iâm so ready to deliver and give you some more college Bucky recs because you deserve them.
Also, I miss writing him so bad. I am craving that guy you would not believe. He holds such a warm place in my heart, and I am taking this opportunity to gush over my favorite college Bucky fics for a minute because there is nothing like him and those talented authors deserve the credit.
So, grab your snacks and get cozy because here comes the best of the best:
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@elixirfromthestars âŁ
A Night of Frights & Delights [7k]
Summary: Itâs Friday the 13th and the college kids in town decided to host a weekend camping trip on the outskirts of town. Your best friend convinced you to go much to your reluctance. What could go wrong when the one guy you canât stand is also there?
(My beloved here is genuinely an absolute master of tension and chemistry. Youâre pulled right into the scene from the first sentence and I just love that chilly campfire night vibe. And Bucky here is so perfectly written itâs infuriating, genuinely has me swooning so hard every time I come back to this.)
Lines Crossed [9.3k]
Summary: You and Bucky have danced around the lines you've placed ever since that weekend camping trip. Months later, when Tony Stark hosts an extravagant party, he finally makes a move to cross them.
(This has my heart pounding, my cheeks redden, and me practically screaming in my head. That yearning has me drooling. Heâs so gone for her and I need it. And every scene felt so genuine and impactful, with all those brilliant, tender, heart-melting details. This is a fantastic craft of a realistic and passionate relationship!)
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@elvenrin âŁ
cold libraries create warmer hearts [6.7k]
Summary: a reserved librarian and a history-loving student keep crossing paths in the cold library, where shared smiles and hidden glances will make them understand that burning hearts don't do well in a place that easily ignites.
(This is such a charming, tender, and beautifully written romance. The slow burn is delicious, and you can truly feel that connection building between those two. My darling here created such a high-stakes, emotionally charged scene. Everything here is so well-handled. From the vulnerability, the passion, the sudden insecurity, to the heartbreaking misunderstanding)
part two [5.9k]
Summary: a reserved librarian and a history-loving student are now left to navigate a heartbreak born out of misunderstanding, but like it has always been known, frozen hearts never fail to seek out warmth from those that feel like home
(This is filled with so much emotion, warmth, and genuine connection and it absolutely had me on the floor. My heart explodes every time I come back to those two adorable sweethearts. And I am swooning so hard oh my. Literally such a compelling story)
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@lovelybarnes âŁ
Flirting and Football [16k]
Summary: Bucky barnes and a college au where reader is the only one who isnât interested in him
(This dynamic is so unique and captivating and I was such a fan of the plot. It was so investing to see how she finally gives into Buckyâs undeniable charm and genuine feelings. And I loved the friendship between Wanda, the reader, and Pietro)
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@pellucid-constellations âŁ
Masterlist
(Iâm just gonna give you her entire masterlist, because sheâs got quite a few incredible college Bucky pieces, and you should definitely check those out. Iâm so obsessed with the way she writes Bucky, itâs crazy)
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@samingtonwilson âŁ
Relationship Tutor
Summary: Bucky, a relationship novice, asks for your help in dating your friend. Unable to say no to him, you agree despite everyone and everything telling you not to.Â
(This is a series and Iâve read it a few times already, because itâs literally so addicting. There are so many sweet friendships in this one. And so so much pining. Iâm definitely there for it and you better be too)
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@lunarbuck âŁ
11:59 pm, December 31 [1.7k]
Summary: You've been in love with your best friend Bucky Barnes since fourth grade, but to him, you're just his best friend. It's New Year's Eve, maybe tonight will be different.
(Everything about this is genuinely so relatable. I felt with the reader the whole time. And also, Bucky will definitely make you swoon at the end)
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@bucky-at-bedtime âŁ
The Bet
Summary: Youâve been at college for a year and have managed to avoid the party lifestyle. That is until you meet Bucky Barnes and he decides to educate you on the benefits of being social.
(This is another series. There is a perfect balance between pining and angst in there. And it will definitely get heated haha. Also, I love the characterizations)
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These are just a handful of the many lovely college Bucky fics out there, and I hope you find something youâll enjoy! If youâd like even more recs, feel free to take a peek at my sideblog @buckbuckbarnesstuff
Iâve got a few more favorites there, including some more college Bucky and a mix of other beautiful reads. And if you do read anything from this list, please send all the love to the amazing writers who pour their hearts into these stories. They truly deserve it. So go attack them with all the love you can give. And even if you donât end up reading anything, a reblog doesnât hurt â¤ď¸
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They are precious, your honor.



I really like them a lotđĽđ§
#ember spam texts him at work#THEYâRE JUST REALLY REALLY CUTE#I will defend this movie and these babies with my life#heâs such a malewife#he captivated me#their relationship and dynamic captivated me#the way their unlikely friendship blossomed into a natural and beautiful mutual understanding and relationship CAPTIVATED ME#this movie captivated me#Iâve been captivated#captivated#no cap#elemental#wade ripple#ember lumen#ember x wade#wade x ember
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so here's my latest pmatga idea
bitter exes: old man editionâ˘
#sir cumference#buttler#delbert heinbech#<- my hc name for butler#pmatga#pac man and the ghostly adventures#my art#btw this is supposed to take place during 'seems like old times' when sir c's being held captive in betrayus' throne room#bc (if i'm remembering correctly) that's the only time these two are ever in the same location together in the show#also bc i don't think i've ever mentioned it before: i personally hc sir c's first name as clarence#bc clarence cumference sounds funny to me#also also look. there's just something Very Funny to me abt *these two* in particular +#+ having a 'dated decades ago; had an incredibly messy break-up; have hated each other ever since' dynamic with each other#the friendliest old guy on pacworld & the most conflict-averse old guy in the netherworld have relationship drama that's old enough to drin#not even over the war or anything either; it's just normal break-up shit#also also also yea dr b & betrayus are (technically) here too. i just. didn't feel like drawing them rn lmao#just pretend they're in the background somewhere having a Live Slug Reaction moment
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AMERICAN HONEY
summary â thereâs a wild wild whisper blowing in the wind, and it wraps around you tightly in the form sunshine and strong hands.
warning(s) â established relationships, polyamorous relationship, married wandanat, dom/sub dynamics, bdsm dynamics, daddy kink, mommy kink, butt plugs, slight anal play, public play, exhibition kink, exposed positions, verbal humiliation, light dumbification, degradation, pool party, bathing suits (wink wink bikinis), pussy inspection, praise, hair pulling, prolonged edging, begging, crying, ruined orgasms, fingering, teasing, alcohol consumption, smoking, whining, threat of pussy spanking, kitchen sex, kitchen counters, face grabbing, name calling, mention of subspace, elements of aftercare, fluff if you squint?, truly just depraved 4th of july smut, men/minors dni
authors note â i wrote this in between a million different activities, high noons, and cart hits⌠so please forgive me for being late, im just a girl trying her best under hard circumstances. this was almost named courtesy of the red, white, and blue⌠btw



Sunlight gleams down upon already sparkling water, rippled currents in the pool blown wild by the sweet whisper of wind that sneaks into the open landscape backyard. Not many trees conceal the happenings of your residence, nor does the white picket fence that only comes up to Natashaâs waist, but thereâs an unspoken solitude regardless â a safety when theyâre around.Â
Your unwavering trust in them is sensational â one of a kind most certainly, if you ask them at least. Itâs evident now, as the breeze swings through the backyard and creates ripples in the west traveling current, and Natasha drags an eight-foot spa skimmer along the surface. Sheâs creating tension and simultaneously breaking it. She knows that too.Â
The classic blue-and-white gingham pattern sitting over your shoulders is timeless, a staple piece for a holiday so proudly rooted in historical achievements. Thatâs not the reason you chose it though. The pattern reminds you of picnic blankets and comfort; Wandaâs comfort. Sheâd been in your mind when you purchased it. Youâd considered her opinion when youâd noticed the triangular top and tie-side bottoms emphasized by a ruffled trim that would undeniably catch her attention. Wanda had been your thought three weeks ago, but Natasha takes up your brain now.Â
The breeze is warm, twinged with a feels like temperature of 91°f, but it feels cold as it blows against vulnerable inches of soft, glistening skin. Natasha notices the involuntary shimmy from across the pool, and her eyes sweep over the gleam on your skin with captivation. A smirk crawls onto her lips. Itâs smooth, simple, discreet enough to leave you unsure if it happened at all.Â
âCold, baby?â Her voice carries over the pool with the breeze, and it hits you with a force that has your hips rocking in desperation you canât hide. You should be embarrassed, humiliated that youâd ever let yourself be pinned to this situation, but theyâve had you like this for hours now, and youâre beyond the point of really giving a damn. Still, your cheeks flame at Natashaâs supposed indifference. Scratch that, just her indifference. Natasha doesnât feel bad for you. She loves you, she wants the world for you by her fingertips and only hers, but you made your bed, and sheâs always been keen on natural order.Â
A whine pulls up from somewhere deep and soft in your belly. Your hips rock, searching for pressure, pleasure, anything. All you manage to accomplish she pressing the plug deeper into your ass, the flared base stretching deep within a hole theyâre still waiting patiently to fuck. Natashaâs going to be first. Wandaâs already given her that promise for when the time comes. The fleeting thought doesnât help your flustered and highly strung state, but somehow you find a response. Simple words. âI donât know.â Thereâs a whine in your tone, a tremble of petulance that comes with your utmost submission. Itâs walls crumbling down, thought slipping away, replaced with natural impulse.Â
âYou donât know?â Natasha huffs when the spa skimmer passes through a single handful of leaves, blown over the fence from Agathaâs yard where Rio tends to flagpole cherry blossoms â the only reason you know specifically because Agatha makes sure to correct everyone on Rioâs behalf. Sheâs barely even paying attention to you right now, huffing beneath her breath as she slams the skimmer into the grass, and it drives you further up the wall of desperation.Â
âNo?â Itâs a question pointed at her when it shouldnât be. Itâs your body, not hers, she has no way of knowing what you perceive as cold if you donât communicate as such, but you find yourself asking her anyways, and Natasha finds it cute; amongst other things.Â
âDonât know much of anything right now, do you? Too hard to think with your cunt on display for me?â She doesnât yell the words, but theyâre definitely not a whisper either, and your cheeks flame with heat as the breeze seems to project her tone through the yard. You wonder if Agatha heard, if it carried over distinctly enough for her to really pick up on it. Natashaâs probably wondering the same, though nowhere near as muted with nerves.Â
âYes, Daddy.â A hushed whisper, involuntary and soft. Youâre exactly where she wants you, but she canât help but want to push a little harder, keep you here a little longer. Nobodyâs set to start arriving for another three hours, so she has at least two to break you down however she pleases. âPlease.âÂ
âPlease what, malysh (baby)? Please touch you, please make it feel better, please come over there and spank my pussy because I know I told you to keep your legs fucking spread, so why are they closing?â Natashaâs glare hardens, deep and cold as she narrows her gaze and wills her eyebrows together until theyâre scrunched and misshapen. It was an unconscious thing, but still shame pools in your belly and heat flames in your core as you peel your thighs open, further this time, and give her access to all of you.Â
The matching gingham bottoms, adorned with a band of ruffles along the top that sits right at your navel tightly, is discarded on the lounge chair to your immediate right â already wet, but not from the pool. Natasha had directed you to take them off twenty minutes after youâd joined her out in the sun, sent away by Wanda who needed to shower without your needy wandering hands, and theyâd remained there dutifully for what you suspect is going on an hour.Â
The chair is becoming damp beneath you, slick with arousal that drips out of your wanting entrance teased and taunted relentlessly by the fullness in your ass thatâs incessant and unmoving, so insufferably understimulating. Natasha can see the pearls of need glimmering on your lips, and your thighs, not just sweat that lights you up with glittering sparkles and radiant beams. Need for her is what unmakes you, and it feels heavenly to have that reassurance in just the way you let it happen like this at all.
âGo find, Mommy.â She directs, pulling her attention away from your cunt, letting it drift to your eyes, and the way you stare at her lazily, drunkenly, blissfully and submissively. So many words to describe the stars in your eyes as the words register in your head, but thereâs not enough time in the day for Natasha to prattle off every synonym.Â
âWhat?â You stutter, harping on the simplicity of her statement because certainly sheâs not sending you away right now, not like this. When youâre ready and willing to eat out of the palm of her hand and she hasnât even done anything more than push that plug into your ass bent over the bathroom countertop.Â
âIs that head too fuzzy?â Natasha scoffs, shaking her head. Her hair is twinged with strawberry highlights from the sun, a soft shade of golden pink that feels neatly on with the darker auburn curls that frame her face wildly. âI said, go find Mommy.âÂ
A rebuttal is on the tip of your tongue. A strong-willed declaration that you hate the idea of leaving her and will not be doing anything of the sort of your own volition, but then her eyebrow raises at you challengingly from across the pool, and the butterflies already in your belly are plunged into boiling oil until that flutter and flap about uncontrollably.Â
âBottoms on first, dorogoy.â Natasha smirks when she notices the faint twitch of your muscles beneath your skin â intention budding to the surface, mere seconds away from leaving you exposed to whoever in Westview glances over the picket fence paces away. A scarlet hue twinges your cheeks, and Natasha laughs sweetly as she shakes her head and watches you dress with anxious movements and mousy fingers. âSo eager you were gonna prance right through the yard all exposed? By all means, baby, I love seeing that cute little plug, but thatâs a little desperate, no? Even for my little slut?â Sheâs baiting you, teasing you because she can, and it works wonders against you as your skin flushes pink.
âDaddy.â Thereâs a sickening whine in your tone as it floats with the breeze toward Natasha, a desperate plea for her to do something, anything, clear as day beneath your single utterance of her title â the very one sheâd initially had to break you down and coax you sweetly to use. Youâve come a long way since then. Theyâve corrupted you in unspeakable ways since the very first night you spent together in the business district of Manhattan. âPlease.â
âInside, dorogoy. Now.â Natasha knows what you want even when you donât. She wonât deny that you want to cum. Sheâs known youâve wanted to be brought over the edge of a blissful orgasm since seven am that morning, but she knows what you want even more that you just canât see beneath all of that fuzziness in your head. You want to cum, but you want to be broken down and used between them both even more. Your fingers twitch, your knees lock, you're desperate for relief, but even more so for their unwavering control thatâs been interlocked with aspects of your relationship from the jump.Â
Natashaâs not looking for an answer from you, sheâs looking for obedience. The blue-and-white gingham bottoms feel light on your hips, the dangling ties tickle your thighs with every gust of wind that blows past. âOkay.â You concede softly, breath only a whisper as it fights against the changing breeze that throws the submission right back in your face like a brick wall.Â
Natasha doesnât say anything. She just watched how you prance like a baby deer on new legs through the yard because every little step spreads pleasure through your ever slowly frying nerves. Itâs a slow process, a tedious game. They have you in a good place, all sweet and pliant, but they could have you somewhere deeper, darker with warmth that feels cold when they leave for too long. She doesnât say anything, but you hear the aluminum rustling behind you when you reach for the handle on the sliding glass door and strain your eyes for Wandaâs silhouette in the kitchen.Â
She brought a High Noon outside with her before you joined. Grapefruit flavor because itâs the one inclusion in the variety pack that you and Wanda turn your nose up at entirely. The watermelon ones, with the green detailing on the front, are reserved solely for you, and the pineapple Wanda. Itâs a system that established itself around the third Fourth of July you spent together, and it crushes you like an elephant now as you spare one glance over your shoulder and watch Natasha lift her chin to chase a sip of the fizzling vodka seltzer.Â
You think she knows youâre looking at her, lingering by the door with your glassy eyes set solely on her, but she never turns her head to find out. She takes a sip, then two, and then she reaches for the spa skimmer and returns to her task of scooping out leaves that havenât even fallen into the water yet. Sheâs meticulous, sometimes annoyingly so, but you know her skin crawls when people come over and mess with her things, so you let her have the one element of control she can grasp with white knuckles unapologetically.Â
âFind Mommy.â You remind yourself softly as your attention turns back to the door. You find her easily now that youâre really looking for her. Sheâs standing by the sink, her back to the living room, face to the window that overlooks the garden sheâs packed full of blueberries and roses. The glare from unforgiving sunlight beats down on your back and the door, twinging her slightly yellow and darkening the specifics of her movements, but it allows enough insight for your belly to grow anxious with a desperation for proximity immediately. Your bones feel cold without hands touching your skin, even when sunshine crisps you beyond golden quickly.Â
Cold air hits you in the face in an unforeseen ambush that you truthfully shouldâve anticipated, and the sound of the door gliding against the track pulls Wandaâs attention to you just as a shiver runs up your already sensitive spine. She looks like sheâs about to greet you, coo about the adorable way your muscles twitch when youâre cold, but then her eyes lock onto the ruffles laying over your navel and the swell of your breasts, and she canât seem to find any words on her tongue at all.Â
Your hands curl into tight fists at your sides, stunned to stillness by the drastic change in temperature, her undivided attention on your body, and the fact that sheâs standing here in only a bikini that accentuates every curve sheâs worked devotedly to maintain.Â
Youâd known she was going on-the-nose patriotic for a while, but youâd never specifically sought out her choice of bathing suit when youâd been purposefully hiding yours in Natashaâs bottom drawer like a mischievous child. You donât think sheâd intentionally gone to the same lengths of secrecy, but it dawns on you slowly that sheâd also probably avoided showing you beforehand with intention.Â
âWell hello, devochka (baby girl).â She coos when she gets it together, voice sweet, sickeningly so. Her head cranes just slightly to the left, and the way her hair falls away from her shoulder provides the perfect glimpse at red and white striped straps dangling daintily down the center of her spine, two perfectly formed bunny ears catching your attention from just below her earlobes. âLook at you! Did you get that suit just for me? For Mommy?âÂ
Natasha doesnât show you an inch of sunshine until youâve earned her gentle warmth, but Wanda smothers you in it deep until you canât even seem to think for yourself without her prompting. She misses no beat even now, her tone sweet like honey, her words curled with such invitation it lures you forward without command.Â
âYes.â You answer, because you know she wants one. You can still think semi-clearly enough to fall in line with the expectations theyâve painstakingly engraved into your subconscious. Your eyes, already glassy from Natashaâs unmaking, already wide with need and desperation, somehow intensify as you drown in Wandaâs appearance.Â
You can tell what sheâd been doing before you came inside. The counters are clean, the sink dry of any water spots or dishes. But she stands by the sink, on hand on the countertop, the other on her hip. Her chest is angled out toward you, just slightly, just enough to really be able to tell that the cups of her bathing suit are mismatched, mimicking the American flag in a way that doesnât scream anything overtly annoying or untrue about herself and her views. Itâs tasteful, classic, and alluring as you analyze the seemingly crinkled ribbed texture of the two piece.Â
âOh, my good girl.â Wanda preens, humming in satisfaction that youâd only been able to anxiously anticipate seeing for yourself â a fate you chose admittedly, but thatâs besides the point. âCome here, come closer. Let me really see it.â She directs, sweet and comforting, her hands coming up to her sides to draw you into her embrace.Â
It feels like a waddle as you pad across the kitchen tiles in a pair of flip flops thatâs sole purpose is to save the soles of your feet from the blistering concrete out back. Every step jostles the plug in your ass, sparking pleasure that taunts you relentlessly. Youâre full, you havenât forgotten, you canât forget, but not full in the way you need, not stimulated in the way youâve been trying to grab onto and secure all morning. Your knees are week, your core throbbing and slickened with arousal that continues to pool out of you at their prolonged nonchalance, and youâre certain that Wandaâs memorizing this wild picture of you to draw inspiration from later on when she has all the time in the world to do this slowly and meticulously.Â
âThere you are. Come on, come sit.â Wanda smiles sweetly, she holds onto your hips and without any warning lifts you up onto the countertops that are cold to the touch from the stream of air blowing down on them as relentlessly as the sunlight on beige concrete. You shiver again, goosebumps prickling your skin, but it's another sensation that trips you up too.Â
The lounge chairs out back are threaded with a flexible net, one that shapes to your body even just a little bit. You hadnât realized how forgiving that flexibility had been on the plug, but now that her hands hold your hips firmly against the counter, driving the plug further into your ass â deeper â you canât avoid the pleasure and the devastating disappointment of your cunt remaining empty.Â
âDid you have fun out there? You put on quite the show for Daddy. Who taught you those things, devochka)? To sit with your pretty pussy on display for anyone to see and touch. Thatâs so naughty. Not for little girls who listen to their Mommyâs.â Wanda tsks, and your belly drops with a feeling you canât name in this haze. Your eyes glisten, tears stinging your waterline as your bottom lip pouts at her sweetly. Oh, how she loves to see you cry for her. âYou listen to your Mommy, donât you, milaya devochka (sweet girl)?â
âYes.â Your head bobs unconsciously, the answer falling off your tongue before you can even process what sheâs asked. Youâre already proving your point, her point. Wanda smiles in satisfaction, an amused hum falling into the air around you as she tangles her curious fingertips into the strings at your hips.
âLift your hips for me, baby. Mommy just wants to check something really quick.â Wanda directs gently, but thereâs no room to argue with the tone she sets, especially not as it wraps around you tightly and turns all that remains of your proud independence into pitiful codependency that lingers for hours. It doesnât occur to you that floaty and clingy is how they want you, but itâs the honest truth. The strings come undone with one testing pull, and in seconds Wanda taps the inner section of your thigh with enough intention to sting, and has them off and in the air before you can even blink dazedly. âOh my, did Daddy let you take a dip in the pool?â She asks, and your eyebrows furrow innocently.Â
âNo, Mommy.â Your head shakes, strands of hair that escape your cowboy boot shaped claw clip tickling the nape of your neck and your cheeks as the motion swings them easily in the manufactured breeze.Â
âThen why are they all wet, my love? Certainly itâs not all because of that little cunt.â Wanda frowns, tracing her manicured nail over the patch of wetness thatâs not entirely visible through the waterproof material, but is still easily identifiable when fingertips graze the sodden garments. Your cheeks flame, and while your thighs had never truly been spread to acclimate the presence of her between them fully, they squeeze tighter shut with her condescending attention on your aching core. âOh, but thatâs what it is, isnât it, my good girl? Youâre just too needy, you canât even help it â canât even go one morning without needing somebody to make it all better for you. That little cunt just always wants some attention, doesnât it?â Sheâs overwhelming you with questions she doesnât really want answers to, but she likes to see you squirm at the imagery she lays brazenly at your feet without pity. She might be burning alive without her tongue between your thighs, lapping up any evidence of your arousal, but sheâd happily burn with the knowledge that sheâs dragging you down with her just because she can; because you let it happen.Â
âYes, Mommy.â You squeak, voice high, officially floaty as it takes on a pitch Wanda hadnât thought possible before she met you. Her eyes are wild with lust and affection, wild passionate affection that canât be stifled or diluted by decades of learned self control. Sheâs a tamed beast, a trusted shot in a war, but sometimes she breaks free of the chains she made for herself to preserve her fragile heart, and when itâs let out on you, thereâs no coming back from the heaven she creates out of syllabus and taunting curls.Â
âDoes it hurt, baby? Is it achey?â Wanda crones, her eyebrows pulled taut with faux sympathy, but even with the knowledge of experience, you canât see past her sweet questions and gentle movements despite the crudeness of her commentary.Â
âYes.â You whisper, head bobbing. Your eyes trace her face. Her eyes, her freckled cheeks, her nose. The trail across her jawline, the sharp cut of her cheekbones. Her hair falls over her shoulders, not untamed, but rather unconfined; free.Â
âLook at me, malysh.â Soft, hard, firm. She cuts through the air and the fog of your mind with one clear order, and when you find her eyes again, deep green and glowing beneath the yellow lighting Natashaâs been itching to switch out for LED, theyâre so much darker then you remember, pupils blown wide with lust and glittering refractions of light dusted across the enter dazzling orb. âOpen your legs.âÂ
Your thighs fall open instantly, and your core thatâs no longer concealed by the gingham pattern of your bottoms is exposed to her without a barrier now. Your clit pulses at the exposure to cold air, hard and pebbled from tension that nobodyâs been kind enough to relieve. Your entrances clenches and unclenches, no rhythm, no reason, just begs whimsically for something to probe it unkindly and brutally. Your lips are puffy, swollen and red. How much of the glow comes from unforgiving sunlight or arousal Wandaâs uncertain, but for the moment sheâs captivated by the effortless beauty of your pussy as it begs her for anything.Â
âOh, so eager already?â Wanda groans, before her attention is pulled to your clot when it throbs unabashedly at her condensation. Your cheeks can go flush, your brain can go fuzzy, but your pussy is the biggest tell of them all. âAw, that must feel so icky, princess. Yeah?âÂ
âMommy!â Your feet kick against the countertops petulantly, a whine pulling from somewhere in your belly thatâs only explored when they can get you there; here. Wandaâs eyes harden, her jaw clicks at the audacity you somehow still have even halfway to the moon and out of touch with everything else.Â
âWe do not kick.â She scolds, sharp and clear, and your throat bobs with a thickness that somehow even burns in your eyes. âNow be quiet and let me check. God only knows what your Daddy did while I wasnât watching you both.â Wanda rolls her eyes, and before you can even really process what she says, her fingers pull your lips apart, exposing your clit and clenching hole. Itâs another level of exposed, a deeper shudder of pleasure that runs up your spine and shakes you just enough to shift pressure on the plug. âGod, look at this pussy. So pretty, baby girl. Remind me, whose pussy is it again?âÂ
It takes a second, more like three, for you to find an answer in your head as her fingers continue to simply hold your pussy open for her eyes to marvel at, but eventually you do, leaning closer to her unconsciously as your eyelids bat heavily. âYours.â
âAnd whatâs my name, baby?â She hums, half satisfied but wanting more. She always wants more, sheâs as insatiable as you, though neither one of you can compete with Natasha.Â
âM-Mommy!â You gasp when her fingers brush your clit, just once, just hard enough to really feel how pebbled and click your pulsing bud is with arousal right now, before anyone really even touched you. A whine of disappointment falls off your lips when she doesnât make a move to repeat the action.Â
âYes, milaya devochka?â She smirks smugly, and itâs a miracle that your muscles donât move on their own accord and thrash against the countertop in petulant frustration thatâs been building for hours on end now. One push too far and you fall down a spiral they need undivided attention to pull you out of, but if you continue to glide just right, they know thereâs heaven in your future â all of your futures.Â
A strangled whine falls off of your lips, your hands reaching out to grapple at the strings of her bikini. You know Natashaâs planning on wearing a white top and black athletic shorts that she has no reason to take off before she jumps into the pool, but it wonât be as captivating as how Wanda looks right now.Â
âI wonder how desperate this pussy is for me. If I just press right here⌠yeah, just like this, oh fuck, baby. Not even pushing into you and this tight little cunt is just beginning for more.â Wanda moans beneath her breath, her eyes closing tightly for only a second before they focus on your core again. âLetâs see what happens if I doâŚthis.â She questions, and then she eases that one single digit into your entrance and nothing else matters anymore.
A high pitched whine escapes you, and despite the stillness that follows her quick intrusion, the complete fullness that finally settles something in your bones sparks you into all encompassing pleasure quickly. Your hips donât rock on their own accord, theyâre infuriatingly still despite the pleasure blooming in your core halfway, and Wanda knows that you wonât be able to move until something lightens up, but you donât want that either. You want whatever she gives you, whatever gets you there.Â
âSo responsive for me, baby.â She teases when you gasp again, and when her finger curls, pointedly and with clear intent against that spongy part of your walls thatâs buried just perfectly behind your clout, itâs all over for you as your forehead drops to her shoulder and you gasp out ragged breaths. âOh, does my pussy like that? Do you like it when I finger you here? On the counter, with your legs all nice and spread open. Fucking hell, youâre close already? Just from this?â Wanda groans, her eyes screwing closed, concealing the aroused amazement that floats in her eyes as she feels your walls contract around her finger tightly. Just the one, she hasnât offered any more.Â
âPlease!â Itâs the only thing youâve managed to say, to bring yourself to ask in minutes, and Wanda feels so smug to know that in darkness, the one grain of light you found was the expectation to ask before you cum. She knows youâre not really asking though. Youâre telling her youâre cumming, falling over the edge into her single finger that doesnât even fuck you, just curls up and against your g-spot every few seconds without rhyme or reason. This was never about fucking you. Sheâd never told you that, nor led you to believe it. But what your mind made up on its own was none of her concern when sheâs told you time and time again to let her do the thinking. âNu uh! No! No! Please!â
Wandaâs fingers pull away from your cunt quickly, just as she felt your walls tightly so impossibly around her knuckle that even she knew any second longer and you wouldâve fallen over the blissful edge into paradise. Instead, her palm slaps against your core, still exposed despite how your thighs tremble hanging off the edge of the countertop. Wanda coos, she grabs your ankles between delicate fingers, guiding your legs up until your chin rests on your knees and the soles of your feet are firmly against the marble, your core still open and exposed to her eyes, but the slight cant of your body now leaning to engage more core support opens up an entrance that Natashaâs left untouched since the early morning.Â
Wanda doesnât even address the ruined orgasm, but she watched how your cunt pulses and clenches with need and desperation. She groans when a single tear falls down your cheek, your bottom lip bitten and a picture of desperation. Your clit pulses with the beat of your heart, and despite the heavy feeling in your bones and the way this position has you still, your hips try to chase the sting of her palm slapping against you mercilessly.Â
âDaddy picked such a pretty plug for you, malysh.â Wanda coos, her manicured fingers tapping against the jeweled plug in your ass, adding to the sensitivity that bites at your exposed nerves and core. Your hips try to jump, but they canât with the way your hands hold your ankles tightly, having taken Wandaâs place with quiet submission. You know what she wants, and sometimes you give it to her without question. âBut itâs time for it to come out now. Weâre all done playing.â Wanda tells you firmly, the boundary now drawn clear, but you still whine in defeat as excitement bubbles in your belly and becomes twinged with anxiousness at the prospect of going all day unsatisfied. You need her, all of her, and sheâs only giving you what she wants.Â
âPlease! Please, I donât want to be all done!â Itâs almost a wail, definitely a whiny plea, but itâs silenced by fingers grabbing at your cheeks until your lips pucker like a fish. Wandaâs hold is unrelenting, tight and dominating. Sheâs all done toying with your body so boldly, but her control hasnât wavered for even a second.Â
âWe are all done. Iâm going to take the plug out of your ass, and then weâre going to put another layer of sunscreen on before Maria and Yelena get here. Do I make myself clear?â She letâs go of your face only so that you can nod freely, your hand coming up to rub away the itch on your face from where the tear had slowly fallen with cinematic timing. âWords.âÂ
âYes, Mommy.â You whine, and she allows it, only because you look so sweet fucked out and scolded on the counter, a puddle beneath you that you either have noticed, or arenât aware enough to be embarrassed about. Satisfied with your answer, Wanda pulls you off the counter and spins you around under the edge of the marble digs into your belly, right above where the ruffled fabric lays against your navel.Â
âRelax for me baby. Take a big deep breath in.â Wandaâs fingers find your clit at the same time as the other hand fings the base of the plug, and as you breathe in through your nose, she rubs tight loose circles around your still throbbing bud and works the plug out without teasing. She wasnât kidding. Youâre all done playing. But it still disappoints you that she didnât at least try and drag it out any longer. âGood girl. Good job. Now, put your bottoms back on and wait for me.â
âWhy do I have to wait?â You pout, wanting only to be wrapped up tightly in her embrace at the very least if she wasnât going to work you through a mind blowing orgasm. The only thought on your mind is her, her and Natasha, but the redhead is still locked away outside, still treating the pool and skimming the water and putting off getting dressed because thatâs the very last thing she has control of before chaos ensues for hours. You think that vaguely, but it doesnât hold much weight. Nothing outside of earning her praise and her attention holds any weight to you.Â
âBecause, you made a mess on my countertops after I just cleaned them.â Wanda scoffs, and your cheeks flame, and you whispered a muted âOhâ because what do you even say to that, and she smiles mischievously over her shoulder as she drags a paper towel over the mess and then reaches for the all purpose cleaner that smells like lemons and vanilla all at once. âYeah, oh.â She giggles before she throws the paper towel away and turns her attention back to you, sighing softly when she sees youâve made no effort to reclaim the still untied bottoms on the ground and redress yourself despite the time ticking by faster and faster.
âYou feeling okay? Just a little floaty? A little needy?â Wanda asks, assuring that you know she already knows where your head is at, but wanting to make sure nothing else had breached the surface of your little paradise found in her arms as she wraps you up tight in her embrace, forgiving eye contact for only this moment as you snuggle in deep and use her for all the warmth and comfort that she packs in her body.Â
âOkay. Just wanna be close.â You muse, eyes closing, but youâve never known Wanda or Natasha to let you rest after a session, and without fail she tugs your head and begins guiding you down the hallway to the bathroom, directing you to pee while she sifts through the sunscreen in the cabinet until she finds the one specifically for you.Â
It doesnât dawn on any of you until hours later that the plug was left in the kitchen, right in plain sight on the countertop, but youâre eternally thankful to Maria who moved it without question after noticing, and only brought it up to Natasha with smugness three times throughout the night.
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do you believe me now? | 7
in which spencer reid and inexperienced!fem reader sleep together for the first time
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: loss of virginity, oral f/m receiving, so much praise, pain during sex, unprotected sex, cr**mp**, bit of overstim, soft dom spence, if u don't like that freak shit (love and intimacy) this is not for u, spencer is a nerd, they're both nerds actually and that factors in heavily, you may get more from this part by FIRST reading how they met in this bonus chapter a/n: thank you all for being patient, ilysm, this was the most laborious thing i've ever done for no reason and also this part changed so many times and is not what i expected it to be so pls go in with tempered expectations and keep in mind that this story is more about the characters and their specific relationship dynamic than just being porn. i truly have no idea how you guys will react to this but i sincerely hope you love it and them like i do<3 also it's twice as long as the other parts so feedback would be very very appreciated! again i love u all and enjoy the penultimate part!
Spencerâs lips are on yours, and you werenât expecting itâhell, you werenât expecting him to be in your apartment. After all, heâd wished you goodnight and walked out only a moment ago.
âSpencerâwhââÂ
But heâs insistent with his lips, kissing you bruisingly over and over like thereâs nectar on your tongue and heâs parched for you. Still, he has enough decency to not completely ignore you, exhaling a quick excuse over your flushed lips.Â
âI missed you.â
This time, though, you dodge his hungry kiss. Part of you thinks, as he watches you, eyes alight and breathing heavily, that he sort of likes your playing hard to get. Itâs not something you do very often, admittedly.Â
âWeâve been apart for like, maybe a minute.â
âI didnât even make it to the parking lot.â
Your face heats. Â
âWell you canât justâyou canât just walk in like that! And I thought you said we werenât supposed to mix fighting with pleasure.â
âThen start locking your door. And I thought you said we werenât fighting.â
You roll your eyes in response, though your heart is still pittering in your chest.Â
At least his hands move to your arms, stroking up and down relatively chastelyâalthough he has this way of making everything seem intimate. Especially when paired with those amber eyes of hisâglowing like a candlelight beacon in the window guiding you home. He speaks in low, appeasing tones and darts his tongue over his lips.Â
âI originally said itâs a bad idea for couples to sleep together after an argument. But you knowâmakeup sex is ubiquitous across culture and time because it works. Anger and arousal trigger a lot of the same hormones, specifically norepinephrine which is involved in feelings of longing andââ
âSpencer.â
âYou know what else?â He mutters in a way that feels dangerous. âIt tends to feel better than regular sex.â
That earns a shaky exhale from you. Whether from irritation or arousal is anyoneâs guessâprobably a combination of both.Â
âSo you came back to fuck me?â
Itâs probably evident to Spencer from your choice of language that this already isnât going exactly as heâd planned. He doesnât answer right awayâjust regards you, gaze bouncing between your two eyes like heâs trying to calculate your level of anger.Â
âIs that what weâre calling it now?â
You push him away and move to walk down the hall.Â
âMaybe your window of opportunity has passed.â
A warm hand wraps around your wrist in the dark of the hallway and he pulls you back until youâre falling against something tall and warm and lean. The smell of polished amber and sandalwood overwhelms your senses.Â
âWhatâs wrong, angel? What happened in the minute I was gone to change your mind?â His voice is scratchy like a favorite record. Itâs the voice he could hold you captive with. The one you have a very difficult time saying no to.Â
âI donât know,â you mutter, unintentionally leaning back against him. âWhat happened to change yours?â
His response comes pressed against your ear, half-lost in your hair.Â
âYouâre upset that I changed my mind. I thought you wanted this, honey.â
âI do,â you admit, letting your head fall back against his shoulder and bringing his arm to wrap around you. âAnd if you hadnât walked out earlier I wouldâve done it. But⌠Iâm tired of us doing everything on your timeline. You just⌠you expect me to be amenable to what you want, constantly.â His nose and lips press into your shoulder.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âLike⌠Iâve been begging you to sleep with me for I donât even know how long. And you keep changing your mind, and I feel like youâre being really confusing about it. Obviously you donât have to sleep with me, you never did, but I just feel kind of⌠jerked around. And you did it again tonight.â
A beat of silence.Â
âI understand your frustration,â he appeases, securing both his arms around you. You cling weakly to his wrist, to his warmth, like heâs a tether in a storm. âWould you prefer to wait until you initiate it?â
âNo. Yes! I donât know,â you huff, disentangling yourself from his arms and continuing toward your bedroom. âNow Iâm annoyed at you again.â
He follows you right through the door.Â
âJust tell me what to do! I donât want to be annoying.â
âI canât. Iâm being unreasonable.â You flick on your adjoining bathroom light and examine yourself in the mirror. Yeesh. The eye makeup situation is abysmal after all the crying that has taken place over the course of the evening.Â
âSo choose to be reasonable and tell me what you want from me. Iâll give it to you.â
You frown at your reflection, pushing your hair back and rubbing at some excess mascara.Â
âNo, youâre not understanding me. Iâm not choosing to be unreasonable. My thought process regarding the situation is inherently unreasonable and thereâs nothing I can do about it because itâs just the way I feel.â
âThe feeling being that Iâve been too domineering over how our sexual relationship has unfolded?â
Spencer watches you in the bathroom mirror, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed as you tip some makeup remover onto a reusable cotton pad. You try not to check him out as you nod, but itâs impossibleâwith his sleeves rolled up to show defined forearms cradled in capable hands, and his hair all messy.Â
When he pushes off the wall you freeze, unsure of his next moveâuntil heâs gently spinning you around and taking the bottle and cloth from your hands.Â
âMaybe it would help,â he begins, soft as he focuses on the new task, carefully bringing the round to your right eye so he can remove the bleeding mascara. You allow your eyes to flutter shut. âIf I remind you why Iâve been so hesitant.â
âBecause you hate giving me joy.â
He laughs, nothing more than one huff from his nose.Â
âYouâre spoiled and we both know it.â
Point taken, as he gently wipes your makeup away for you. Your silence is his cue to continue.Â
âEverything I said about worrying that you would regret choosing me is true. It was especially true when I thought you felt lukewarm toward me. And all of that confusing stuff I said in the phone is true tooâhaving sex for the first time is incredibly intimate and weird and sometimes scary. If youâre not 100% sure about your partner, or if you think your feelings are unrequited, itâs hard to be completely comfortable in such a vulnerable situation and your likelihood of getting hurt or having regrets skyrockets. I know that from experience. I wanted better for you than what I got. Still, I know it was wrong to project my feelings about the significance of sex onto you. In that regard, youâre right. I was being domineering, and I guess⌠I guess to an extent Iâm still deflecting. I shouldnât be trying to pretend like itâs about you when in reality I mostly just didnât want to get hurt again. I didnât want to go through that again, and thatâs okay, but I shouldnât have made you feel like it was something you could have changed.â
You try to process that.Â
âGo through what?â You whisper hoarsely. Something about having him at such close range while he takes such care with you feels whisper-y.Â
âSleeping with someone who didnât love me back.â
Your reply is small.Â
âOh. Right.â
How could anyone not love him back?
Spencerâs reply is simple and kind, without a hint of, obviously you dumb bitchâwhich is pretty much what youâre thinking to yourself.Â
âDoes that make sense, lovely? Do you understand why I wanted to wait?â
He lets you ponder for a while in comfortable-enough silence as he finishes removing your eye makeup with a characteristically gentle hand. When you open your eyes, he looks genuinely content, screwing the lid back on the bottle as if heâs got an eternity to wait for your answer.Â
âYeah. That part makes sense. But why did you seem so⌠I donât know, like, wishy-washy about it?â
Spencerâs eyes dart up to meet yours, brows slightly raised. Then a small laugh bubbles up from somewhere inside him.Â
âBecause Iâm obsessed with you. I thought about you like that constantly. I still do.â
Your breath catches at the casual admission.Â
âOh.â
Spencer hums, setting the bottle down before tenderly thumbing away some excess mascara that he must have missed from under your eye.Â
âYou didnât think it was easy for me, did you?â
âWell⌠kind of,â you admit, tracking his eyes until they meet yours.Â
âNot sleeping with you has been among the hardest things Iâve ever done. Especially when you started begging me. That first time, when I picked you up from Penelopeâs and you asked me why we hadnât had sex yetâŚâ
He trails off, still rubbing at your cheek as he loses himself in thought.Â
Eventually, you grow impatient, prompting, âwhat?â
âItâs not a nice thought.â
âWell, you have to tell me now,â you insist.Â
He half smiles, thumb straying to your lips.Â
âIt was just⌠you had no idea what you were talking about, and you were ready to throw a tantrum in my living room until I gave you what you thought you wanted. Part of me was imagining bending you over the couch right then, since you thought you were so ready.â
It feels like someone has snipped the pulley that keeps your stomach in place.Â
âSpencer,â you splutter, convinced your cheek is tangibly heating under his touch as your head reels at the revelation that he could have such a deeply dirty and mildly sinister mind.Â
âI told you it wasnât nice.â
You swallow.Â
âIs that⌠is that still what you want?â
His brows flicker again and he tucks hair behind your ear.Â
âTo bend you over my couch? No.â
Your face warms even more and you turn to leave the bathroom, sick of his teasing.Â
âOkay, goodniââ
âHold on.â Spencer catches you by your waist and pulls you back into him for the second time tonight. A dangerous smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. âI know what you meant. And no, I donât want to bend you over my couch.â He laughs, slipping a hand under your shirt to rub your back. âYou know what I want. Iâm more interested in learning what you want.â
âI wantâŚâ Your eyes dance between his, and your heart flutters against the confines of your chest as you realize what youâve wanted for so long is finally yours for the taking. âI want to stop talking about it.â
His expression neutralizes and you know itâs probably intentional to stop whatever feelings you assume him to be having color your decision.Â
âOh?â
âI just think weâve talked about it enough.â
Before he can say another word, or ask you another question, you kiss him with such passion thereâs no way he can doubt how much you want this.Â
Only a moment passes before he allows himself to lean into it, cupping your face between reverent hands and taking control of the pace of the kiss, slowing it down until you can hardly breathe. Your little noise of want has him quickening the process, pressing against you until youâre walking backward out of the bathroom. Itâs like the first crack in a dam. After that, everything becomes inevitable.Â
Your knees hit the back of the bed and you sit down hard on the mattress, smiling up at him. You skim the front of his thighs with your palms as he smooths your hair.
Spencer groans, leaning down and kissing you til youâre on your back.Â
âDonât make that face.â
An affronted huff from you breaks the kiss up and he pulls back to study your expression.Â
âWhat do you mean donât make that face? I was just smiling at you.â
âI know you were. And you have such a pretty smile it makes me feel guilty aboutâŚÂ defiling you.â
Your brows flicker up and your mouth drops open with an affronted scoff.
âWatch yourself. Iâll defile you.â
âYou already have,â he admits with a half-laugh as he kisses you again. âMy mind was never this dirty before we met.â
âHm. Tell me you like my smile.â
He pauses and then chuckles dryly against your mouth.Â
âI love your smile. Youâre gorgeous. Any more demands?â
Pleased, you shake your head and pull him closer, wrapping your legs around his waist.Â
âNot currently.â
âReally?â he murmurs, trailing kisses over your cheek and down your jaw, âIâd do just about anything you asked me right now. You donât want to take advantage of that?â
The sensation of his lips just below your ear threatens all rational thought in your brain, but you manage a reply with only a slight delay and a hint of a waver coloring your tone.Â
âI shouldnât have to demand things. You should just know to do them.â
His kisses drag lower, warm and unhurried and youâre trying not to let your hyper-sensitivity from going a week completely untouched showâbut you doubt he misses the way your breath catches, or the barely audible squeaks, or the arch of your back or the tightening grip on his shirt.Â
âWell, for future referenceââ he nips at a sensitive spot and you gasp quietly, even as you tilt your head to offer him more access. More room to bite, if he so chooses. ââI happen to enjoy it when you make demands of me. Especially when those demands entail letting me call you pretty.â
âIâve never not let you call me pretty before,â you huff. Itâs a touchy subject, and Spencer can probably sense your hackles rising, but he has you right where he wants you and so he pushes anyway.Â
âNo. But you never believe me. Weâve had this conversation. You always act like Iâm walking you to the gallows when I compliment you.âÂ
Itâs hard to make a defense when heâs leaning his weight onto one arm so he can unbutton your jeans, when heâs looking down at you with sparkling onyx and scorched-earth eyes like youâre something to be consumed. But not violently, noâardently. Like fruit heavy on the vine. Like youâre a religious rite to the devout and deluded. A sacrament.
But itâs not a blind passion. Spencer knows you; every inch of you and every loose thread on your soul begging to be pulled. He knows you and he still wants you like this. To be perfectly honest, youâd never thought youâd feel comfortable handing yourself over to someone like thisâvulnerable and all your layers of armor shed. Never in your life would you have thought you could trust a person so implicitly that youâd hand them a knife and show them exactly where to press, that youâd say, I know once you open me and you see me youâll not want to change a thing.
You adore him. Cosmically. Enormously. In every dimension. Heâs lodged so deep in your heart you have no choice but to love him eternally.Â
Itâs deep in the midst of all these very profound revelations that you realize Spencer has stalled with your zipper undone. His hand has strayed to your hip, to sweetly push your shirt up and trace love letters into warmed and downy skin with his thumb.Â
âI just wish you could see yourself how I see you,â he says softly, the weight of the truth a strain on his vocal cords.Â
Sometimes, he is so kind itâs like a punch to your stomach. Youâve never been quite as kind as him. And nobodyâs ever been as kind to you as he is. Youâve done nothing to deserve his kindness, but you know he needs a place for it, and youâre here with open arms.Â
He studies you a moment longer, swallowing as his eyes trail over your face and lower. You want to reach out and brush strands of caramel hair out of his face, but he seems to be thinking so hard youâre hesitant to distract him.Â
âIâve never told you this, because I know youâd just shoot it down, but⌠you are genuinely the most beautiful girl Iâve ever met in my life.â
Something twinges in the depths of your stomachâthe darker shades who live there and exist solely to whisper not enough not enough not enough to you every minute of every day.Â
But theyâre simply not a match for the softness you find when you do reach out for his hair, or the way he looks at you. Spencer loosely wraps his fingers around your wristânot a cuff, but an affectionate hold.Â
âDo you believe me?â
Thereâs so much earnest hope in his voice it almost jars you. He so badly wants you to understand how feels about youâheâs been trying to tell you for months and all you know how to do is refute his praise and insist on your worthlessness.Â
Ever since Spencer, you donât see the faces on magazine covers or in superhero movies, no matter how mathematically flawless they are. Nobody gets close to being as beautiful as he is in your eyes. Heâs in an entirely different echelon, and despite how you feel about yourself, you have to accept that he might feel the same about you.Â
âI do,â you say, equally soft, and 100% honest. You believe that he believes it, and thatâs enough. Itâs all that matters.Â
The shallow knit of his brow loosens. His lips ease into a suggestion of a smile. But itâs most visible in his eyesâthe way smoldering coals reignite, melting the amber glass of his irises until theyâre molten.Â
The way he kisses you then, youâd think youâd lassoed the moon and pulled it down from the sky for him. But apparently all it takes to make him incandescently, contagiously happy, is to accept a compliment.
Thereâs a renewed sense of urgency on his breath as he kisses you deeply and quick enough your heart is racing. It only goes faster when he remembers his previous task and begins tugging your jeans down, but he doesnât even bother to pull them past your knees before his hand is creeping up your thigh. Goosebumps race each other across your body as you try to remember what it feels likeâwhat he feels like. But you canât, even as his thumb fans over your inner thigh and pushes it open, gently encouraging you to give him more access to you.Â
âYouâre not wasting any time,â you breathe against him while he traces the edge of your underwear.
âDo you want me to slow down?â
Judging by the way the tips of his fingers only barely shy away from the fabric, he really wants the answer to be no. But you know in his searching gaze that heâd never push you.Â
âNo, itâs fine. As long as we⌠donât go this fast the whole time.â
âWe wonât.â The hasty words are of lower priority than the next kiss he plants to your swollen lips. âWe wonât. I just missed you so much.â
âYeah?â You giggle airily as he drags his fingers over your clit through the material, trying to ignore the way it makes your head spin.Â
âYes. Yeah.â
Youâre not sure youâve ever seen him like this, soâŚÂ desperate for you, as he drops his lips to your neck and presses barely-there kisses everywhere he knows youâre sensitive. Just the feeling of his breath against your skin has you shivering. His hand between your legs only brushes your most nerve-dense spot, but a few touches in and youâre already wound up, like if Spencer doesnât give you more soon youâll burst. And not in the good way.Â
When he finally commits to actually kissing your neck, you squeak, warmth emanating from that spot just below your jaw all the way to your toes. The frantic energy of earlier is slowly melting away, and he loses focus with his hand, as it begins straying wider, stroking your hip, your inner thigh, your stomach. Itâs like your nerve endings are on overdrive, delivering twice as much feedback to your brain as they normally would. Each touch feels like heâs conducting electricity over your body, like youâre a plasma ball. Heâd probably like that analogyâyou, a core of alternating voltage, and him, the conductor, tracing a path and giving all those electrons an easy release. If you werenât so distracted, youâd tell Spencer you found a way to work Nikola Tesla into your mutual sex life, and heâd probably propose on the spot.Â
But that electricity is building fastâeven more so when he drags his lips down just above your collarbone. Your breath hitches, simultaneously trying to crane your neck to give him more room, and curl into him so as to escape the stimulation. Finally he pulls away, and losing the softness of his mouth while the air feels so cold against the places heâd kissed almost hurts.Â
âYouâre a mess,â he chuckles affectionately, raising his hand to brush hair away from your face before stroking the heated high point of your cheek. âWhat am I going to do with you?â
Itâs teasing, but so low and gentle and honeyed it swirls your stomach.Â
âWhatever you want,â you admit quietly. Itâs a shy confession more than it is a salacious flirtation because he already has you. And you want nothing more than for him to act on that in any way he so pleases. Whatever he does, it will be careful, and kind, and because he loves you. You know that no matter how he takes you apartâheâll put you back together again.Â
âI donât know if IÂ can. Youâre all jumpy.â
God, he has the prettiest smileâeven when itâs twisted with sarcasm and a thin veneer of guilt, like he knows he shouldnât be teasing and just canât help himself.Â
âIâm not,â you defend, face heating further. âIâm not nervous. I donât know what it is.â
That sticky sweet tone is back, pooling in his eyes and dripping all over you like nectar as he languidly looks you over.Â
âI didnât say you were nervous. Just a little bit jumpy.â
Itâs not accusatoryâheâs simply stating a fact. Easy, gentle, designed to soothe.Â
You shrug helplessly and chew on your lip, unsure of how he wants you to respond. Itâs definitely true that excited as you are, youâre slightly on edge. You feel taut as a string on a guitar, tense and waiting to be yanked at any second.Â
His expression is serene, and his thoughts inscrutable as he continues lavishing you with his eyes, down to where heâs lying over you and back up. His lips part, but he doesnât speak for a moment as he formulates his words.Â
âCan we try something? Thereâs this tantric exercise that might help you relax.â
Your brows draw earnestly and you nod up at him, not requiring any convincing even though you have no idea what heâs talking about.Â
Spencer directs you to sit up, and you doâkicking your jeans all the way off so you can sit criss-cross with your hands braced on your ankles.Â
Heâs next to you on the bed, at a slight angle, one of your knees in his lap. You blink at him.Â
âNow what?â
âNow you give me one of your hands,â he says, tone tinted with a hint of an amused smile, as if your impatience is funny to him. Of course it probably is.Â
Frowning only a little, you unlock your left arm and hold it out for him, watching curiously as he takes your one hand between his and flips it palm-up.Â
âDid you know,â Spencer begins, voice low and confidential, âthat the fingertips are the second most sensitive part of the human body?â
âWhatâs the first?â
âLips,â he murmurs, eyes fixed on your hand where heâs brushing the tips of your fingers light enough it almost tickles. âTheyâre both incredibly important for keeping you alive, which is why theyâre one and two. But youâll be particularly sensitive anywhere youâre vulnerable.â His words are trailing off as he brushes his thumb over your palm and to the delicate skin of your wrist. âLike here.â
His knuckles skim up your forearm, to the crook of your elbow.Â
âAnd especially here.â
Youâre fascinated as he traces back down the length of your arm and over your inner-wrist, feather light. Then up once more, with the blunted edges of his nails, and your breath catches. Youâve never noticed how sensitive such an innocuous part of your body could be, but it has your stomach flippingâmore so when he looses a breathy laugh. âYou know, some people are actually able to reach orgasm just by light stimulation to this area.â
Your response is just as airyâyou donât recognize your voice when it comes out like that, hanging in the pitch black between you.Â
âReally?âÂ
An affirmative hum from him, as he lifts your hand and places an intentional kiss over your pulse at the bend of your wrist. Your chest aches and heat is pooling in your stomach as his gently trails them up the delicate skin of your arm. Maybe you should be embarrassed by the reaction youâre havingâafter all, itâs just your arm. But he treats every part of you like it warrants love and attention and intimacy. Even the parts you typically ignore. Certainly parts you never considered to be sexually or romantically relevant. Itâs dizzying. Itâs like magic.Â
âArms up,â Spencer finally directs, just as sweetly as heâs doing everything else, and helps you tug your shirt over your head. Every brush of fabric, every seam against your skin registers more than it normally would. Everything is heightened, and despite your state of undress youâre still warm. âYour neck is really sensitive, too. Itâs the most commonly acknowledged erogenous zone.â
Erogenous zone. Of course this all comes back to biology.Â
âTilt your head for me, honey.â
Utterly entranced and useless to not abide by him, you do so. Spencer brushes your hair over your shoulder, and if the slip of it down your back werenât enough, the graze of his fingertips against the nape of your neck has you shivering.Â
The warmth of him at your throat feels completely brand new, despite having already had his lips there only minutes before. But now they ghost over your skin with a kind of novelty, and your own lips part in silent pleasure, head lolling to allow him greater access.
âLie back.â
Without hesitation (but perhaps a bit sluggishly in your stupor) you obey, sliding down until youâre propped up only by pillows once more. Spencer takes his place propped above you once more, thighs slotted with yours as he quickly picks up where he left off.Â
The sweet kisses are perfect and feel so much better than youâd ever thought to notice beforeâbut at the same time your core aches and thereâs that pressure building again thatâs starting to get to you.Â
âSpencer,â you try, and it comes out hoarse but you donât care at all. âMore.â
âYou want me to leave marks?âÂ
And the offer is so tempting youâll wait a few more minutes to ask for what you really need, nodding semi-frantically and âmhmâ-ing desperately.Â
As he gently latches onto a spot that will require concealer later but feels fantastic for now, one of his hands slips down your side, just barely letting his nails skim, and your back actually arches. Itâs a shocking amount of stimulation for being nowhere near any sexual hotspots. That tiny caught breath dissolves as his fingers continue down just as lightly over your hip and thigh. Your muscles tense as you chase and run away from the feeling. Itâs ridiculous.
Thereâs no point in trying to keep your eyes open nowâthey grow heavy and you let them fall shut as he sucks another love bite to your throat.Â
âFeels good, doesnât it? Itâs kind of weird.â He says, voicing your thoughts as he eventually decides the mark will be sufficiently dark.Â
âYeah,â you agree, lacking all eloquence as he caresses every sensitive place you didnât know you had and your hips writhe minutely in a little desperate dance of your own creation.Â
âMost people arenât aware of the potential of the erogenous zones that arenât actual sex organs. They donât pay attention to them. You know what else is an interesting function of erotic stimulation to areas that arenât directly involved in reproduction?â
âHm,â you hum as his hand skims to your back. You lean into it and he promptly undoes your bra with a single handâa skill youâre not even sure you have.Â
âIt releases not quite as much oxytocin as an orgasm but more than sexual pleasure alone. So youâre less tense before sex than you usually would be, and youâre primed to build more trust and feel more connected with your partner during.â
God, heâs a nerd. And itâs so, so hot.Â
You roll over on your back again and look up at him through half-lidded eyes. The corner of his mouth flickers as he takes in your expression, before trailing downward, following the path his fingertips make over your skin as they tug the straps over your shoulders. Trying to stop him, to be shy, would be a pointless venture. Heâs seen you like this and you want him to see you again.Â
A shaky exhale of his own brings a little smile to your face as he pulls your bra away and observes the newly bared skin with a hunger that you can feel.Â
âI missed you,â he murmurs, eyes cast pointedly down and thumb brushing over the side of your right breast.Â
âYou mentioned.â
âIâm not allowed to say it again?â He teases, leaning down to kiss you soft. Your lips curve against his.Â
âYou can say it as many times as you want.â
Spencer hums, finally thumbing over your breastâs sensitive peak. It sends a chill down your back and seeing as youâre already worked up to the point of near insanity, the pleasure from such a simple touch is much stronger than it would be otherwise.Â
âGood. Because I missed you a lot.â
After that, he doesnât waste much timeâonly toying with your flesh for another minute as he kisses you before his hand is skimming down your abdomen and dipping below the waistband of your underwear.Â
âPlease,â you whisper, tilting your hips toward him when he doesnât move to touch you anymore.Â
âPlease what?â
âSpencer, donât.â
He smiles at this, pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth as his hand travels lower. Fingers slip between wet folds and he begins making the lightest of circles over your clit.Â
âYouâve probably been waiting long enough, huh? I should be nicer.â
Your answer is a breathy almost-whine as you seek more friction against his hand.Â
âYeah.â
âYeah,â he agrees, pressing down harder. The sensation sends sparks down to your toes and you attempt to clamp your legs shut around his wrist. âThese need to stay open,â Spencer chuckles, âor else I canât help you.â
âSorry.â
âDonât apologize.â The words are a sweet sing-song against your cheek as he kisses you there, before hooking his fingers into the fabric of your underwear and pulling down. You try to help wiggle out of them as best you can, gasping when he tosses them away and immediately returns his hand between your legs. He dips his head down, tongue lathing over your breast, and teases you with the tip of one finger circling around your entrance.Â
âI needââ
âShh. Let me worry about it.â
With that, heâs dipping his ring and middle fingers just barely inside of you to the first knuckle, then back out, before pushing a bit deeper, and repeating the cycle until theyâre as far as theyâll go. When he slowly starts fucking you with them, still mouthing sweetly at your breast, youâre ready to melt.Â
The room is quiet except for your breathy mewls, the lewd, wet sound of his fingers inside of you, and the blood rushing in your ears. Soon your breast pops from between his lips and he finds somewhere else to leave his mark. Spencer is turning you into a work of art, with his fingers, with his mouth. You donât mind at all. Youâd let him sign his name, if he couldâbut you doubt heâd let you get his name tattooed.Â
Soon you stop fighting the perpetual tug of your lids down and let them flutter shut, loosing a freer moan as he brushes over that sweet spot inside you. Even when heâd told you how to find it over the phone, it wasnât the same. It wasnât like thisâmaddening enough to have your hips twisting again and that hot bed of coals in your tummy sparking.Â
âSpencer,â you warn, leg twitching as he stokes the fire beyond the point where you can passively enjoy it. Either heâs got to slow down or heâs got to let you burn all the way up. You practically jump when you feel his tongue flick over your clitâyou hadnât even been aware of his shifting positions. Maybe youâre more out of it than youâd previously thought. Your eyes shoot open and he does it again. âOh, fuck.â
The words are simple, quiet, and apparently thatâs not enough. Before you can even process the sensation of the tip of his tongue on you heâs latching onto your clit, suckling in a way that has your vision momentarily going out. You cry out and kick involuntarily, hips jumping up, but he captures your leg and presses you down into the mattress so no matter how much you squirm and squeak you canât get away.Â
âFuckfuckfuck, Spencer I waâahâsnât readyâoh my god.â
He remembers his fingers deep inside you and begins rutting them and you hiss, inhaling sharply through your teeth before letting it all out in a tremulous moan. The orgasm is building up so quickly it almost feels like an attack on your poor body as you try to process it all to no avail. Every sound you make is a vulnerable mess of pleasure and pain, a clear fear of surrendering to something inevitable. Of course, it doesnât really hurt at all. As usual, heâs blindsided you. Found you unprepared. You rake your fingers through Spencerâs hair, continuing on with your shaky moans that sound half-worried.Â
âOh, please.â Really, youâre just pleading to be put out of your misery. Itâs in moments like this, as the black is creeping in around the edges of your vision and your thoughts become threads in the tangle of an existence knotting in on itself with no discernible end or beginning in your mind until everything is completely abstract, that youâre reminded why the French refer to orgasm as the little death. Â
Your fingers lace tight enough in the wilds of his hair to pull, and he groans against you, and those vibrations are your undoing. You succumb to the dark momentarily but he continues a loving assault of gentle kisses to your clitâcareful enough so as to be inoffensive even after the euphoria abates and youâre hypersensitive, still relishing soft strands of hair between your knuckles.Â
Youâre breathing hard as you blink your vision back, looking down at him as he looks up at you from his place between your legs and rubs the top of your thigh.
âI wasnât ready,â you pant, lips flashing into a tired smile that doesnât hold a candle to his own livelier one.Â
âTook it like a champ.â
If you werenât already so warm his sarcastic comment would inspire more heat in the apples of your cheeks.Â
âDr. Spencer Reid using sports idioms?â You smile as he climbs back up your body.Â
âItâs unreasonably sexy that you said idiom and not simile.â He kisses you, grin mirroring yours, and you donât complain about the slick still on his lips. âAnd look at that. Not afraid to kiss me when I taste like you anymore.â
âI remember what you said,â you whisper, eyes bouncing between his, glowing amber pools in the low light. The words echo in your head from the first time heâd gone down on you and youâd been hesitant to taste yourself.Â
One day, Iâll make you come just like that again, and then Iâm going to fuck you, and youâre really going to want me to kiss you then, angel.
âSo do I,â he points out needlessly. âEerily prophetic, hm?â
âI think you just like going down on me,â you laugh.Â
Without the light on, his smile is just as brilliant as usual. Â
âYou might be right about that.â
Another interlude of quiet begins, but you donât mind it. Taking this slow, as desperate as youâve been for it, feels nice. Easy. Waves of burning need ebb and flow, but for now, it feels nice to be bathed in his candlelight gaze, know youâre loved, and nothing else.Â
âWhat next?â You whisper after a long moment, lifting your hand to trace the line of his jaw. He leans into it slightly, lips brushing your palm.Â
âThatâs up to you, angel. Whatâs going to make you feel most comfortable?âÂ
Your bottom lip rolls between your teeth as you think and he tracks the movement, corner of his mouth twitching fondly.Â
âIt might help if you werenât fully clothed.â
âI think we could probably do something about that.â
He pecks the tip of your nose playfully and then heâs pushing off the bed. Your brow wrinkles as you follow suit only partially, sitting up with your legs folded under you and pulling the sheets over your body to combat the chill and the vulnerability of being completely naked.Â
âOh, my god. You had your shoes on that whole time?â
âI got distracted,â Spencer defends, almost tripping over himself in his hurry to slip the loafers off.Â
You clutch the sheet to your chest, watching the adorable way he pushes his hair out of his face as he rushes. Heâs so clearly excitedâit shows in the flush of his cheek and his even worse than usual coordination.Â
âBut on my bed?â
âIâm sorry,â he says without seeming very apologetic, leaning down to catch your chin between his thumb and forefinger and pressing his lips to yours. âIâll pay to have your comforter dry cleaned. Iâll buy you a new one. I donât care.â
âHow chivalrous.â
âIÂ am,â he insists against your lips, shaped by what is surely a boyish smirk.Â
Unsurprisingly, you get lost in the kiss, dropping the sheet to hang onto his shoulders. Spencer takes advantage of the once-more revealed skin, rubbing your thigh with slow passes in a way that has you all lit up again already. It doesnât help that his tie is skimming right over the recess between your folded thighs as he leans over your seated form, kissing you deeper as the moments pass.Â
âYouâre distracting me now,â you scold, but your voice is quiet and smiley as your noses brush.Â
âDo you want to help me with my clothes?â
You nod, heart hatching like a cocoon and already slipping a finger into the knot of his tie so you can tug perhaps not gently enough. He chuckles, bracing himself with his fists on either side of your lap as you pull and yank until the fabric comes loose and you slip it from around his neck, flinging it blindly for dramatic effect. Then he slowly draws back to his full height, until youâre about eye-level with his chest. His gaze fixes on you, feverish and intent as he finds the buckle of his belt without looking. The slide of leather on leather, the jingle of the metal has the hairs on the back of your neck rising and you fight a chill as he pins you with his stareâfeeling rather powerless as he towers over you, still essentially fully clothed while youâre completely naked.Â
You probably shouldnât be as thrilled by it as you are.Â
Spencer tosses the belt on the floor and watches on, utterly charmed as you rise to your knees. His hands find your waist, steadying you as you begin unbuttoning his shirt with slow, careful fingers.Â
âSee?â You murmur bashfully. âHelping.â
His voice is equally as soft.Â
âVery helpful. Thank you.â
The tension in the quiet room gets to be too much and you have to focus hard on the task at hand, failing to bite back a twisty smile. For once, he keeps his stupid perfect mouth shut and lets you push the fabric of his open shirt from his shoulders in humid silence.Â
Your fingers skate down his torso and you watch the muscles tense. You wonder if he notices the way he pulls you slightly closer or if itâs subconscious as you both track the path of your hands.Â
âYour button is on the wrong side,â you note, voice wavering slightly, once your fingers stall at the waistband of his pants.
Spencer chuckles. You feel silly.Â
âMen and womenâs clothing tend to have the buttons on different sides, if thatâs what you mean.â
âOh.â A beat of silence, before the words come pouring out. âIâm sorry, I donât know why I said that. Iâm still a little bit nervous, I think.â
âThatâs okay,â Spencer assures you, hands gliding up and down the soft lines of your waist. âItâs okay that youâre nervous. But Iâm going to take really good care of you, okay?â
You nod, not looking away from the exposed skin of his torso.Â
âAnd if at any point you need to take a break or stop, youâll tell me.â
âI will, but⌠I donât need to stop right now.â
âThen you can go as slow as you want.â
You swallow and take a moment to gather yourself before continuing on undoing his pants. With his assistance, you pull them down, and with them his boxers tug an inch or two lower, exposing a subtle v-shape before it disappears beneath the waistband. The fabric is obviously tented. A ball of nervous anticipation spins faster in your stomach, drawing all the heat in your body down between your legs. Heâs pretty everywhere. Youâd nearly forgotten.Â
Spencerâs stomach tenses under your light touch as you drag your fingers down, down, just to the waistband. Itâs then that you look up at him for permission to continue, and find his eyes already on you, heated and intense.Â
âGo ahead, honey.â
Again you find yourself quite excited to touch him, but you start cautiously, simply letting your hand fall over the shape of him through the fabric. Even that has his chest rising and falling at a slightly quickened rate, and one of his hands finds your unoccupied one, twining them together. That small gesture inspires you to bolden your explorations, becoming more insistent in the way you palm at him. He feels big, which is a concern of yours. But you try not to let that intimidate you. Â
Already heâs quite hard, you suspect from going down on you earlier (which is flattering as much as it embarrasses you) and your fingers graze a small wet patch of fabric. You fixate on the shaky little breath he releases as you push down his boxers with new fervor, and his cock springs up.Â
Heâs still perfect.Â
You smear beads of precum down his tip, and he sighs, letting his head fall against yours as you both watch. A few coquettish pumps and heâs humming, kissing your face and dragging his lips down your neck where he makes a home for himself. Apparently the sight of your hand wrapped around him had been too much to bear.Â
âSo good. Missed this.â
âItâs just my hand,â you whisper, a little insecure that heâs maybe playing it up for your benefit.Â
âItâs you.â
His voice is so breathy, you sort of have to believe him.Â
âCan IâŚ?â
Too nervous to voice what you really mean, you trail off, but it apparently doesnât matter to Spencer. He lifts his head like heâs in a stupor but youâve said something urgent.Â
âAnything you want. You can do whatever you want.â
âOkay. UmâŚâ
You let go of his hand (and his dick). Spencer automatically rotates to accommodate you as you end up on your knees on the wooden floor in front of him.Â
âThis is what you want?â He breathes, already pushing his fingers through your hair and gathering it back as you look up at him and nod.Â
Very quickly you have him back in your hand, trying to remember what you learned from the few times youâve done this. You start perhaps a bit softer, less eager to prove yourself than you have in the pastâsimply dragging him over your tongue before enveloping his tip in your mouth, and releasing with a pop. Despite being overtly, explicitly, and undeniably sexual, thereâs something almost chaste about the way you handle him. Itâs a (dirty) expression of love, and you think he understands that as he rubs at your cheek affectionately.Â
Eventually, however, you get too excited, and you take him into your mouth in earnest, bobbing your head slowly and seeing how much of him you can take without gagging.Â
Spencer makes the prettiest noisesâtheyâre breathy, and not ostentatious, but heâs got such a nice speaking voice itâs like his gasps are bars in a song. You whine around him, wriggling your hips in a rather pathetic display, and then all too quickly heâs tugging your hair so you canât keep him in your mouth.Â
âWhat?â You ask, closer to pouting than youâd care to admit and voice slightly hoarse. âYou said I could do anything I want.â
âNot if youâre that good at it. Come here.â
He helps you up and catches you in a deep, messy kiss before youâve fully regained your footing, swaying against him, but he holds you fast, pulling away slow like strings of honey trail between your mouths.Â
Spencerâs eyes are fixed on yours, lips parted in a sort of wonder before he glances down to your own mouth, wiping the shine from your bottom lip. Any moment youâre expecting him to say something, to tell you youâre beautiful or perfect or that heâs in love with youâbut instead he just meets your eyes again, that same wonder-struck look on his pretty face. A tiny, breathy laugh forces itself from his chest like youâre a genuine miracle.Â
You feel so observedâseen in a way youâve never been seen, looked at closer than anyone has ever looked at you before. And he still looks at you like youâre the human embodiment of love, the closest mortal manifestation of the divine, Galatea come down from her marble pedestal. The way he looks at you has your heart pounding and your breathing hastened. Adoration has never been something so physical, so tangible, ever before in your life. Your blood hums at the frequency of his electromagnetic fieldâan energetic aura that surrounds each person and can be detected from several feet away, as heâd explained it to you. It originates from the heart and if you spend enough time close to  someone, syncs up the beating of your most vital organ with theirs until itâs a perfect match. Maybe thatâs why, almost as quickly as your heart had begun to pound, it slows again, and you feel any reservation flush from your body like a fever.Â
âOkay,â you breathe, cataloguing every angle and curve of his face to store with all the rest, all the moments that feel important. Of course, youâll never remember them like he does yours. But youâll be damned if you donât try your hardest.Â
âOkay?â Spencer asks. He understands the confirmation for what it is, and searches for signs of hesitation on your face while rubbing reassuring circles into your hip. You nod resolutely.Â
As he lays you down on your bed, it feels like youâre entering some kind of altered state. Everything is muted and glowing with a watercolor aura in the dark and you really only care about the man on top of you and the way moonlight dances on his skin and the way he smells like smoky amber and rain. He makes sure the pillows are fluffed under you, before sweeping your hair from beneath your shoulders into a corona around your head. All the while his eyes are so soft on you, just like his hands, and his lips when he leans down to touch them to yours.Â
One of said hands finds its way to your jaw, trailing down over your neck and collarbone, before settling over your breast where he swipes a thumb over your nipple, lightly, slowly, several times.Â
Once again youâre struck with the odd feeling, even with his hand on you like this, that the situation isnât sexual in the way youâd anticipated. Itâs not pornographic, or even very dirty. Everything Spencer does, even as his hand sneaks down between your legs, he does because he loves you.Â
âOne more like this,â he mutters against your jaw after a moment.Â
âWhy?â
Your impatience yields a smile you can only feel against your skin.Â
âJust want you relaxed and feeling good. Thatâs all.â
When you assent, his fingers are already slowly pushing inside you.Â
It seems youâve entered some sort of time warp as well, because you reach a gentle peak in what feels like record time, aided by his easy murmurings and saccharine praise.
âPerfect. That was perfect,â Spencer says with a kiss to your shoulder as he slides his fingers from you and you feel yourself literally dripping onto the sheets. âCan I ask you something before we get carried away?â
âMhm,â you hum, sweet and compliant as pleasure dulls your inhibitions for the second time tonight and your head lolls into the pillows.Â
âBaby,â he croons, voice soft as worn paper as your lids flutter and lashes brush febrile cheeks, thumbing over the heated skin. âNeed you a little more alert, sweet girl.â
ââMÂ trying,â you whine, though itâs half self-effacing laugh. Spencer chuckles too as you shake your head and take a deep breath, trying to reinvigorate yourself. âOkay. Go.â
âWell⌠we donât have any protection.â Before you can groan, loudly, he hurries on. âAnd thatâs⌠Iâm okay with that, if itâs what you still want. I trust you. But there will come⌠a moment of reckoning. And I need to know where I should⌠reckon. So you donât end up surprised.â
Now youâre really laughingâa giggly mess beneath him as your arms loop over his shoulders.Â
âStop it,â he whines, pressing his nose to your cheek as you turn your head in an effort to not snort at your boyfriend to his face. âThat was for your benefit, you know. You get squeamish.â
âIâm sorry, I just canât take you seriously when you refer to it as reckoning.â
âFine. Iâll rephrase. When I come, you essentially have two options. Inside, or on your stomach. Tell me where you want it.â
Your breath catches and your stomach does that tripping-over-itself thing again.Â
âUmâŚâ
Another fond half laugh, at your expense, is pressed against your skin. Itâs enough to prompt you into answeringâhe doesnât have to say anything to make his point about your being squeamish.Â
âInside,â you mutter, shy as you attempt to bring him closer so he wonât be able to look at you quite so closely. You wonder if heâs remembering the conversation youâd had over the phone last weekâbefore heâd accidentally kind of broken up with youâabout this very subject. You certainly are.Â
âOkay. I want you to have everything that you want.â A few kisses to your neck later, between nips, he speaks again. âJust need to hear that you want this one more time.â
âI want this,â you repeat, obedient and honest, plain and simple. âNow, please.â
Spencer responds by first kissing you, firm and loving. It soothes you, and he punctuates it with a kiss to your cheek, before heâs reaching down and guiding himself between your legs. You feel surprisingly calm, more overcome with love and the light pleasure rolling down your back as he drags himself over your clit than you are by nerves. Still, you pointedly hold his gaze, not looking down in case you psych yourself out. He slots himself in place, tip resting against your entrance.Â
âRemember, if you need to stop at any pointââ
âI remember,â you cut him off hurriedly.Â
Okay. So perhaps youâre still slightly nervous.Â
He watches you, sympathetic though youâre not sure what for.Â
âI need you as relaxed as possible, okay? I want this to be easy on you.â
You take a moment, scanning your whole body for tense muscles. When you feel sufficiently relaxed, you offer Spencer a small nod, and at that, he begins pushing into you ever so slightly.Â
At first, it just feels foreign. Heâs going so slowly, so carefully, youâre not sure heâs moving at allâuntil he finds resistance and the odd full feeling changes to a hint of burning stretch. Your hips jump and your breath catches, and Spencer stops immediately, relieving the pressure with a tiny shift in position.Â
âItâs gonna hurt,â you realize, eyes darting between his like he might be able to tell you otherwise. Youâd always been aware of the possibility, but you were holding out hope that youâd be one of those people who didnât experience any pain their first time.Â
âJust for a minute. Then itâll feel good, angel.â
You swallow and nod. At the end of the day, you trust him completely. You trust him enough to let him hurt you.Â
âSuper deep breaths for me.â
He watches intently as you follow his directions, taking several deep breaths in succession, before he begins pushing into you once more. The pressure builds and builds until he pushes past that point of resistance, and itâs like heâs breaking you in two.Â
âAh,â you gasp, abs twisting as your body tries to escape the sensation without any input from you.Â
âI know. I know, baby, that was the hardest part. Breathe.â
He drops his thumb to your clit, rubbing circles with light pressure to distract from the pain.
You nod, lips pressed together tight as the deep ache muddles your brain. Itâs an insistent pressure against something does not seem to want to budge. It burns and stretches and is laced with sour, flirtatious pleasure so that you can hardly tell what it is youâre feeling. Mostly, youâre dizzy and hot.
âRelax, just like that,â he strains, looking down. âMy good girl. Weâre almost there, baby.â
Cries spill unbidden from your mouth and your eyes shut as he continues to open you up deeper, until finally, finally, his hips settle into the cradle of yours.Â
Spencer sighs a curse under his breath, so quiet you donât think it was meant for you.Â
Heâs inside of you. Itâs bizarre.Â
You whimper, and he snaps out of whatever revery heâd been in.Â
âYou okay? How does that feel?â
You take a shuddering breath, closing your eyes and trying to clear your head to no availâyour thoughts are like TV static.Â
âIâm good. I need⌠I need a minute.â
âYou can have as much time as you need. Itâs a lot, huh?â
âYeah,â you admit, voice small and weak.Â
âI bet,â he agrees, peppering soft kisses all over your face. âBut youâre doing so well. Proud of you, brave girl. Youâre doing so well and weâre gonna make sure it feels good soon, okay? Whenever youâre ready.â
âWill you please kiss me again?â you whisper, and Spencerâs brow knits with concern.Â
âOf course, angel. Of course Iâll kiss you,â he says, and makes good on his promise with his lips on yours. It sweetens the ache. âIâll do whatever you want. You can have anything. Youâre so perfect.â
He kisses you again, just as lovingly, and soft, like youâre delicate. All the praise is only contributing to your lightheadedness, but you donât mind at all. It feels good.Â
âYou can⌠you can move.â
âOkay. Weâll go really slow, yeah?â
He waits for your nod before his hips are pulling back and you arch at the odd sensation. When he pushes back in, eyes carefully locked on yours the whole time, you keen slightly, frowning and brain shorting out as it tries and fails to process this new feeling.Â
âUh-huh. Youâre okay, I promise.â
At first it doesnât feel good. It mostly hurts. But slowly, the pain begins to abate as you acclimate to having him inside of you, and heâs careful the whole time.Â
âSpence?âÂ
âHm?â
He sounds concentrated on the task at handâyouâre entranced by the sight of him above you, the parted lips, the unkempt hair over the brow furrowed in pleasure and focus. But heâs never too busy for you.Â
âDoes it⌠umââ you pause to hold back a whineââwhat does it feel like for you?â
At this, he slows even further and chucklesâitâs a strained, slightly breathy sound.Â
âFor me?â
âMhm.â
âYou feel perfect, baby. You feel so fucking good.â
The slight fry in Spencerâs voice as he curses, which is a rare event in and of itself, flips your stomach, turns you on immensely. The idea that youâre giving him pleasure tooâitâs almost overwhelming. Thatâs when it starts feeling good.Â
âOhââ you squeak, jaw dropping and bucking your hips inadvertently as the first bolt of true pleasure shocks deep in your core. He hums.Â
âYeah, is that it, sweet girl?â
But you canât answer for a long moment. Your brain is melting as your legs lock around him.Â
âMmâitâsâit feelsâŚâ
âI know it does,â Spencer murmurs.
You whine and press your face into the curve of his shoulder as each thrust gently rocks your body. As the pace picks up bit by bit, you feel yourself clenching hard around him. His hips stutter and he hisses.Â
âAh. Canât do that, lovely.â
âWhat? Did I hurt you?â
He laughs breathily.Â
âNo, you didnât hurt me. You almost pushed me out. You have to relax.â
âSorry,â you whisper. ââM trying.â
âYou donât need to be sorry. I know youâre trying, baby, youâre being so good for me.â
Your nails skim his backâa small expression of a much larger desperation. Once heâs sure youâre relaxed around him, begins going faster.Â
Your gasps and soft moans come more often now as he finds a steady rhythm and it feels so different when heâs actually fucking you. It feels like heâs everywhere. Every time your hips meet you feel the sweet shock of it in your teeth, your toes, the back of your neck. In the best way, you feel consumed by him. Itâs not at all like youâd imagined, and itâs perfect.Â
âWait, Spencer,â you breathe, struggling to form the words. Immediately he stops again, lifting his head from your shoulder to examine your face.Â
âWhat is it?â
He sounds just as wrecked as you feel, panting and strained and it feels good to hear.Â
âI wanna watch.â
For a moment his eyes dart between yours like heâs trying to determine what you really meanâbut you said exactly what you meant. Then he laughs, a huff of air from his nose as he presses his head to yours and gives you a quick kiss.
Your toes curl as he readjusts his position, holding himself a little higher and resting your heads together so you can both look between your bodies.Â
âThere,â he murmurs as he slowly begins to withdraw again. âLike that?â
But you canât answer, because youâre too busy whimpering at the sight of him pushing into you. The feeling seems to increase tenfold as you watch it happen. Distantly you wonder how the fuck it fits.Â
âYeah,â you whisper. âLike that.â
Spencer takes this as a blessing to find a pace again, slower now as he seems to be just as enthralled by the sight as you are.Â
âGive me your leg,â he rasps after a few moments like that, and you donât know what he means exactly but you lift your right leg slightly only for him to press his hand to the back of your knee and push toward your chest, effectively opening you up and giving him more range of motion. It also enables him to fuck you even deeper. Again he slows, apparently savoring the feel of you yielding around him all the way down to the hilt.Â
Black spots dance in your eyes as he settles at your deepest pointânot pain, necessarily, just overwhelming sensation. Your jaw drops and you choke out a moan as he presses into recesses you didnât know you had, as he shows you a part that you might have gone the rest of your life without knowing existed. He stops there, like that. Everything stops there, like that. If the cars on the road below ceased to drive, if the airplanes froze in the sky, youâd not be the least bit surprised. Somehow, youâve unlocked a small eternity. Thereâs no sound but your joint heavy breathing and your heart pounding in your ears. The words just come bubbling up out of you in a little whine.Â
âI love you.â
Spencerâs breath pauses for a moment before heâs letting it all out at once, brushing his lips up the ridge of your nose before they settle on your forehead in what seems like a permanent kiss. A few breaths in, you allow your eyes to flutter shut. Your heart rate slows down a touch, and you settle into the moment, never having been quite so content as you are like thisânever having felt quite so adored and safe.Â
âI love you,â he finally echoes, voice rasping, lips still pressed to your skin, still breathing against your hair. When he starts to move again, drawing back ever so slowly, you hiss softly. He raises his head from yours, and you look away from where heâs pulling out, meeting his eyes just in time for him to push back in, just as deep. They shine in the mostly-dark room and you moan unabashedly. Itâs a high-pitched, sweet thing, nothing that will have the neighbors complainingâbut so clearly true, from the depths of your soul, an expression of everything youâre feelingânot just the pleasure.Â
Although thatâs good, too, as Spencer shapes you to him again and again, the head of his cock kissing places nobodyâs ever been and places you hope nobody else will ever venture to. This is all you need. Him.Â
âJesus,â Spencer groans, eyes fixed on your face as he fucks you slowly. But you canât bring yourself to talk, too new to this kind of pleasure to find it anything other than mind-boggling and world altering. Your lips are still parted, allowing each sound to pass without filter. âListen to you, beautiful.â
When he stops again, just to look down and marvel at you, youâre conflicted. On the one hand, you can taste the pleasure on the back of your tongue and he keeps taking it away when itâs so close. But on the otherâyouâre just as overwhelmed as he said youâd be. Your body has never had to process this kind of sensory information before, and youâre exhausted, but itâs so good.Â
âSpencer,â you manage. He looks up, pupils blown and eyes lidded where theyâd normally be wide. âPlease donât stop.â
He swallows, spurred into action again as soon as you say it.Â
âGood?â
You nod and whine again as he picks up the pace bit by bit, remembering to push your leg back once more so he can get as deep as you need him.Â
âSo good,â you exhale at the top pitch of your voice. Your brows pinch and you release a fuller moan as Spencer finds a speed thatâs fast enough to constantly feel good no matter where he is. Youâre gasping for breath, back archingâand he finds a new angle, catching against the spot inside you that renders all those years of human evolution that gave you sentience and intelligence a waste. He chuckles airily at your series of series of affronted moans and halted gasps.Â
âRight there? That's a good spot, isnât it?â
âOh, goâfuck, fuck!â
It feels so good it almost hurts, and your eyes are stinging to prove it. Your legs clamp tighter around him and you realize thereâs a very lewd wet sound and you canât believe thatâs you.Â
âSpencer, youâreâoh my god, I love you,â you whine, and it sounds like youâre pleading for your life. At this makes his own sound of pleasure, and hastens his messy circles on your clit as if in reward.Â
But itâs too much all combined.Â
Your hand claps to your mouth to obscure the loud, licentious moan that comes outâbut Spencer immediately moves his hand from between your legs to grab your wrist and pin it gently to the bed, intertwining your fingers.Â
âDonât do that. Let me hear.â
You nod, and he lets go of your hand to return his fingers to your clit. If possible you get wetter around his cockâyou can feel yourself gushing.Â
âFuck, Iâm gonna cum,â you whine as if pained.Â
âYeah? Gonna finally let me feel you cumming, angel?â
He has a filthy mouth when he wants to. The words hit like high voltage to your core and the very pit of your stomach. You canât even respond beyond a desperate sob.Â
âShow me, baby. Iâm right here. Let go.â
You cum around his cock with a broken cry and itâs like a purge of every drop of angst youâd felt over the past week or soâhell, itâs a purge of all the insecurities that had bubbled to the surface since you started dating him. None of it matters anymore. How could it matter when you have him? When you have this?
The orgasm washes you out like a tidal wave, taking everything with it. Itâs strong, and itâs so good, so intense, your body is overwrought with sensation and itâs too much even though itâs perfect. Your brain is drawing a blank as it tries to react to the feeling, and itâs like every button on the damn panel has been hit.Â
âFuck, Iâm close,â Spencer grits, and you feel it in the way he adjusts his position, shifting as he grips at the edge of the mattress for leverage and the thrusts become messier, needier. You gasp as his other hand tangles in your hair, turning your head to ghost your lips over his forearm. Itâs not entirely surprising when his own lips find your shoulderâbut the feeling of him finding his release just as his teeth sink into your skin does come as quite a shock. It doesnât hurt, and youâre sure thereâs no skin broken, but itâs an undeniable fact that he has grounded himself in the throes of passion by biting down on you.
Inside you, he feels hot. Searing, almost, as his spend tries to fill space that doesnât exist. There is absolutely no room for anything else inside of you. Stars dance in your eyes at the overstimulation, but long after heâs finished heâs still fucking into youâalbeit much slower and with far less technique. Spencer moans like a two bit whore, like heâs reached pain to a point of ecstasy, and to you itâs as good, as special as the singing of the planets. If heâs as sensitive as you are now, itâs no small feat for him to keep going on like this. Itâs a testament to how much he doesnât want it to be over. The pleasure is carrying him away, but youâre beginning to feel how soft you must be and how if he continues on like this you may bruise like an overripe peach.Â
âSpencer,â you manage, skating your hand up and down his back in what you hope are soothing lines. âBaby.â
He whines as his lips detach from your shoulder, but his hips finally slow to a stop, nestled inside you.Â
âJesus, fuck, I'm sorry,â he breathes, opting now to bury his face in your neck (with significantly less biting this time).
Youâre still reeling, toes still curled, still struggling to breathe as your head spins and spins and spins. His chest pushes against yours with every heaving breath, hot and heavy on your skin, and thatâs the only sign heâs still alive until his hand eventually reanimates in your hair, scratching your head tenderly.Â
For a span of minutes, you stay like thatâsilent, twined together like caducean serpents. His weight on top of you is perfect. This, the lack of differentiation between your body and his, is perfect. You donât know where he ends and you begin and you donât need to. Itâs a blissful moment.Â
âHey.â
Spencerâs voice is hoarse when he finally speaks, lifting his head to look at you with flushed cheeks and messy hair and sparkly eyes.Â
âHi.â
He smiles.Â
âYouâre so pretty.â
âYou too,â you murmur, moving your hand from his back and pressing your thumb into the hollow of his cheek. His eyes map the curves of your face as he pushes your surely askew hair back.Â
âHow do you feel?â
It takes you a moment to seriously consider his question, scanning your body for any undue pains, but for the moment, you find none, beyond a dull aching throb that you can manage.Â
âGood. Tired.â
You wince at the uncomfortable feeling of him pulling out. Spencer hums sympathetically and presses a sticky kiss to your lips which makes it a little better, though you canât ignore how uncomfortable all the previously pleasant wetness has become between your legs.Â
âHereâstay here, Iâll get a wash cloth andââ
âItâs fine,â you insist, holding on even as he tries to roll off of you. âI just need⌠will you stay here for a little bit?â
âOf course,â he promises, now pressed close to your side and propped up on an elbow, âwhatever you want.â
You lavish in his gaze, warm like a spotlight, as he strokes your cheek and plays with your hair. Very quickly youâre lulled into a doze, eyes fluttering shut. Minutes stretch. You feel drunk on waking dreams, and perfectly at peace. Safe.Â
âAngel girl,â he christens you fondly. More than anything, itâs an observation, so lovely it sinks into your skin like a balm, soothing every tired muscle and little mark heâd made. Even half-asleep, it makes you smile.Â
âYouâre an angel,â you slur, reaching blindly for him, and he chuckles, catching your wrist and helpfully settling your hand on his cheek.Â
âI thought you were asleep.â
You hum, âmm-mm,â looking up at him with just as much adoration as he has for you. Those cuddle hormones must be kicking in because soon youâre attempting to pull him back on top of you. He doesnât quite comply, probably for fear of crushing youârather he settles next to you, gathering you in his arms.Â
Silence blankets the two of you, but itâs not unpleasant as you just watch each other with barely-there smiles curling your mouths. This kind of intimacy still manages to give you butterflies, even after everything else youâve done. This kind of satisfaction, reverie in the sound of each otherâs blood flowing and lungs filling. Setting aside words because you donât need conversation as a pretense for wanting to be around each other anymore. You donât need an excuse to look at him like this. You donât need words any more than you need clothes. Itâs enough to just be.Â
âI love you,â he says, a soft reminder, and entirely redundant with the way heâd already been looking at you, touching you.Â
âI know. I love you too.â
The smile flickers brighter on his face.Â
âAnd thank you.â
Your eyes narrow minutely as you consider what he could possibly be thanking you for.Â
âFor what?â
âFor loving me. And trusting me. ItâsâŚâ your heart squeezes as you realizes tears are pooling in his eyes. He takes a moment and clears his throat. Itâs incredibly endearing. âIt means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.â
You look down, thumbing at the sheets where youâve hoisted them over your bodies.Â
âYou do realize how lame we are if we have sex and both immediately start crying, right?â
At this he laughs loudly but not loud enough to pop the little bubble youâre in, and you look up just in time to catch the brilliance of his smile, the way it changes his whole face and he becomes superhuman in his beauty, the lines that form by his eyes and the way they narrow and crystalline tears bead his lashes like precious gems.Â
âDonât cry,â he requests gently, hypocritically as your own eyes sting. The way his smile fades is like the sun setting. Gorgeous, like everything else he does. âYouâve cried so much, honey. Please donât cry.â
You sniffle, gathering yourself.Â
âIâm not. That would be pathetic.â
Spender leans forward to kiss you tenderly a few more times. Ordinarily youâd worry about coming across as clingy when you hold onto him so closely and so insistently like this, but for now you donât care. Neither does he, it seems, as he seems unable to get you close enough. Eventually, you end up curled against him, head tucked under his chin and dozing on and off as he traces shapes into your skin.Â
âWhat are you writing?â You mumble some time later, cheek smushed against his shoulder. He only responds with a soft hm, like he was lost deep in thought. You clarify, âit feels like you were writing something.â
âShe Walks in Beauty.â
Your lips pull into a sleepy smile.Â
âThe Lord Byron poem?â
The first time youâd met Spencer, heâd inadvertently caused your painstakingly annotated copy of Lord Byronâs works to go flying all over a cafe, and then kindly helped clean up the pages and reorder them for you in record time. Among the poems had been She Walks in Beauty.Â
âYeah. I was trying to figure out when exactly I fell in love with you, and as someone who is deeply skeptical about love at first sight, Iâm a little embarrassed to admit that I keep coming back to our first conversation. I mean, I believe in genetic compatibility, and how that contributes to attraction and what we think of as chemistry, butââ
âWait, what about our first conversation did it?â Your cheeks ache from smiling as you speak. âAs I recall I was being a bitch and I was covered in coffee.â
He laughs dreamily, still tracing letters over the small of your back. You wonder what part of the poem heâs at now.Â
âYeah, mean to me and covered in coffee is pretty much exactly my type. But I think it was actually the annotations on that copy of Lord Byronâs works. They were so insightful, and personal, Iâit kind of took my breath away, and I know I shouldnât have read them all but I couldnât stop. You were compelling, and charming, and funny and wildly intelligent and beautiful and⌠and I didnât stand a chance.â
Everything aches. Itâs a good ache. Despite being seconds from tearing up all over again, you snort. He never told you about that first day.
âYou thought me writing âsister fuckerâ in all caps every time he mentioned Augusta was charming?â
âOh, obscenely so. But now that Iâm looking back, I feel like⌠I feel like I canât remember not being in love with you. I mean, I remember when I realized I was, and that was later. But it was like I met you, and then I was just⌠waiting for you to catch up.â
You grab his hand and interlace your fingers, watching the way the ambient nighttime light from the window and the bathroom dips them half in color.Â
âWe were pretty much on the same page. I was debating courthouse versus small intimate ceremony as soon as you left.â
You watch him watching your joined hands, features soft and relaxed, fiddling with your fingers absentmindedly as he speaks.Â
âDefinitely small intimate ceremony. I have too many friends who would kill me if they werenât invited to the wedding.â
You giggle and pretend the thought doesnât give you butterflies. You imagine a ring on your finger, the one heâs got between his own. Marriage had never been something youâd considered. Not when you had no reason to. It seemed like something for other people. But maybe one day, it will be for you, too.Â
âDid you know Lord Byron had a daughter who is regarded by many as the first computer programmer? She wrote the first algorithm for a theoretical machine that was so complex it couldnât be built with the technology available at the time. It was called an Analytical Engine.â
He sounds almost wistful as he gives you the utterly unprompted, but still welcome, abridged version of her life. The description is ringing a bellâbut you canât quite place her, sleepy as you are. Â
âWhat was her name?â
âAda Lovelace. She was exceptionally gifted. The odds of parent and child being so extraordinary in their respective fields are incalculable, but from a purely theoretical perspective, negligible. I mean, theyâre both massive historical figureheads. Thatâs extremely uncommon.â
You adore it when he goes off on these tangentsâthe passion that stains his voice, the ardor that grips him until he has no choice but to tell you exactly whatâs got him so excited. You could listen to him talk for hours. It means heâs here with you, and he wants you to love what he loves.Â
Since he met you, thatâs all Spencer has wantedâfor you to love what he loves.Â
You want the same.Â
âPretty name,â you murmur, eyes fluttering shut. âTell me more.âÂ
-
part eight
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic
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dustin with theon at the wedding has major drunk!cersei & sansa during the battle of the black water vibes
adwd theon is soooo fucking funny. he's tortured beyond recogintion even by himself and forced to see a girl he knows from childhood go through the same thing. he's lost everything he once held dear. theres muderers and cannibals stalking the castle. his only friend is a milf who hates everyone and starts talking to him about how the maesters faked 9/11 and how she wants to feed his surrogate fathers bones to her dogs
#asoiaf#fandom opinion seems to weirdly put a positive spin on theon and lady d's relationship??#as if she isn;t a participant in his torture and captivity??#like i deeply love a captive/torturer relationship don't get me wrong#it's just like people are not grasping the underlying dynamic at play#theon greyjoy
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Flustered Crushes
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: The Black Widow does not get flustered. So why is it that Natasha canât seem to stop embarrassing herself in front of you?
Warnings:Â fluff
Words: 2795
At the edge of the bustling hangar bay, Natasha leans against the cold, metallic wall, her arms folded tightly, a faint frown etched across her brow as her sharp gaze observes the scene unfolding before her.Â
Near the base of the Quinjetâs ramp, you are engaged in animated conversation with Carol Danvers, who happened to arrive at the compound for a quick visit precisely when you returned from your mission. Â
You've been with the Avengers for a few months now, a former SHIELD agent seamlessly adjusting to the team dynamics.Â
Over time, you've connected with everyoneâincluding her.Â
So, Natashaâs made an extra effort to help you feel welcome.Â
Clint often teases her about her behavior, insisting her attentiveness borders on something more personal, something like aâŚcrush.Â
Natasha dismisses his comments each time with a roll of her eyes.Â
Sheâs just being nice.Â
After all, it's only natural to want a solid, dependable relationship with a new teammate, especially someone she'll be working closely with.
Thatâs the only reason why she came to greet you when you return from your mission.
At least, thatâs what she tells herself as she stands there, alone, on the sidelinesâŚnot with you.Â
Natasha watches Carol say something that makes you laugh, causing her faint frown to deepen.
The flash of amusement in your eyes as Carol grins back makes Natasha roll her eyes and look away, unable to take the sight anymore as a pang of irritation tightens in her chest.
She tries to shake it off, but it doesnât disappear.
After all, itâs not like she got here an hour before your scheduled return and waited to see youâŚjust to end up watching as the blonde space beauty swoop in, effortlessly captivating your attention.
Deciding sheâs had enough, Natasha pushes herself off the wall, preparing to leave.
However, her abrupt movement catches others around her off guard, and she ends up bumping into a passing cart loaded with tools and equipment.Â
A clattering sound echoes across the hangar as wrenches and bolts spill onto the floor.Â
Natasha curses softly under her breath, a mix of pain and embarrassment coloring her cheeks as she drops to gather the scattered items, apologizing hastily to the technician she collided with before quickly exiting the area.
In her haste, she doesnât notice your gaze, the subtle smile tugging at your lips as you follow her with amused eyes, tracking her every flustered move across the hangar bay, even as she slips away without a backward glance.
~~~~~~~ â§ ~~~~~~~
âSo, howâs it going with your crush?â Clint asks, a playful glint in his eyes as he watches Natasha.
Natasha shoots him a warning look that would strike fear into the most fearsome of villains.
Without a word, she grabs the coffee pot, filling his mug before pouring some for herself. She replaces the pot with a decisive click.
âThere is no crush,â she states firmly, taking a sip as though punctuating her denial.
âAre you sure about that?â Clint asks skeptically before continuing, âWhenever Y/nâs around, itâs like you lose all of your charm and coolness.âÂ
Natasha gives him an unimpressed glare.Â
âReally? Coolness? Thatâs the best youâve got?â
Clint smirks, raising his mug in mock salute.
âAsk me again after I finish this coffee.â
She rolls her eyes, holding her mug close, feeling the warm comfort seep into her hands.
Just as she brings it to her lips, the doors swing open, and Tony strolls into the kitchen, spotting them with their drinks.Â
âOh, coffee! Pour me a cup, Romanoff.â
âPour your own,â Natasha mutters, savoring her next sip.Â
Tony feigns hurt, pressing a hand to his chest in mock shock.Â
âFRIDAY, remind me, who owns this building?âÂ
âYou do, sir,â the AI replies smoothly.Â
Tony gestures upward triumphantly at her before pointing towards the kitchen.Â
âSo, technically, that machine is mine, the beans are mine, and...oh, right, that pot of coffee is also mine.âÂ
Natasha rolls her eyes but eventually reaches for the pot, lifting it begrudgingly.
Tony holds out his mug with a victorious grin.Â
But just as she hovers the pot above his cup, she stops short.
âA âpleaseâ once in a while wouldnât hurt.â
Tonyâs eyes widen, and he gasps in exaggerated disbelief as Natasha raises a brow in expectation.
Huffing, he mutters, âCan I have some coffee, please?â
âSee, that wasnât so hard,â Natasha quips with a smirk, preparing to pour him his coffee.
At that moment, the elevator dings, and the doors slide open to reveal you, fresh from your morning workout, dressed in your training gear.
You walk by the kitchen, spotting the other Avengers gathered around.Â
A delighted smile spreads across your face.Â
âOoh, coffee! Can I have some, too?âÂ
Natashaâs response is instant.Â
âSure, Iâll make you a new pot.âÂ
Her tone is warmer than usual, surprising even herself.
You beam at her, and Natasha feels herself pause, momentarily captivated by the sight. Distracted, she almost misses your following words.Â
âThanks, Natasha! Let me change, and Iâll be right back.â
You slip through the doors, leaving Natasha blinking, still trying to regain her composure.Â
Tony watches with raised eyebrows.Â
âWait a secondâshe didnât even say âplease,â and youâre making her a whole new pot?â
Natashaâs eyes narrow as she holds the pot just out of reach of Tonyâs mug.Â
âDo you want coffee or not?âÂ
Tony grumbles before muttering a grudging âYes, please.âÂ
Satisfied, Natasha pours the coffee, keeping her focus steady.Â
âNatasha?â your voice catches her off guard, and she glances up to see you poking your head back into the room.Â
âYes?â she replies a little too quickly, immediately focusing on you.Â
Both Clint and Tony fall silent, watching the two of you with curious eyes.Â
âSteveâs got a mission tomorrow,â you explain. âWould you mind if I train with you in the meantime?â
Natashaâs mind races for a moment before she steadies herself to answer.
âUhâyeah, sure. Anytime you want.âÂ
âGreat!â you say enthusiastically before glancing worriedly at the counter. âI think thatâs enough coffee.âÂ
Natasha follows your gaze, eyes widening as she realizes Tonyâs cup is overflowing, dark liquid pooling across the counter. She yanks the pot away with a muttered curse.Â
âOh shâ!â
Tony steps back just in time, glaring down at his soaked countertop.
âReally, Romanoff? This is a new suit!âÂ
Rolling her eyes, Natasha grabs paper towels, unruffled by his dramatics.Â
âCalm down, it barely even touched you.â
You let out a small laugh.Â
âIâll be right back,â you say, shooting her a smile as you exit.
âOkay,â Natasha murmurs, her attention lingering on the door.
Clint chuckles as he takes another sip, eyeing her knowingly.Â
âYouâre right, Nat. Itâs not a crush,â he says, leaning back with a smirk. âItâs way worse.â
~~~~~~~ â§ ~~~~~~~
Natasha flashes one of her most charming smiles, leaning just slightly forward as the receptionist fumbles through her files, cheeks tinged with a rosy hue under Natashaâs intense gaze.Â
âHere you go!â the receptionist says, her voice soft as she hands over a key card. âIâm sorry again for the mix-up.â
Natashaâs fingers rest lightly over the receptionistâs hand as she accepts the card, her eyes warm and a playful smile tugging at her lips.Â
âNo problem at all,â she replies, her tone smooth. âI donât mind the delay with such lovely company.âÂ
The receptionist blushes deeply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and giving Natasha a flustered smile.Â
Natashaâs confident smirk grows as she watches her charms take effect.Â
Quick and efficient, she slips the USB drive from the computer, seamlessly hiding it under her palm as it rests over the key card. For a moment, she feels pleased with herself, effortlessly pulling off her usual charisma.
See, she thinks to herself, Clint has no idea what heâs talking aboutâsheâs got plenty of charm.
âNice job, Natasha,â your voice suddenly crackles in her earpiece, startling her.Â
Her hand slips in surprise, almost knocking over the items on the counter. She turns it into a casual adjustment, but not before the receptionist gives her a curious look.Â
Natasha quickly smiles, grabbing the key card and offering a polite nod before walking away toward a secluded corner of the lobby.
Pressing a finger to her comms, she mutters, âY/n? Whereâs Clint?âÂ
âHe had to step out for a minute,â you answer. âHe asked me to take over. Is that okay?âÂ
âNoâI meanâyes, of course,â Natasha says, the words tumbling out a bit too quickly.Â
She straightens, running a hand through her hair as she tries to regain her composure. Itâs not like she hadnât expected you to assist with missions, but the thought of you watching herâŚ
She tamps down the sudden flutter in her chest and forces herself to stay focused.
âYour next target is on the same floor as the key card you just picked up,â you continue, your voice warm and steady in her ear.Â
âGot it.âÂ
âIâll explain what youâre looking for.â
Natasha nods and begins striding toward the elevators, hoping her sudden focus will drown out the distraction of your voice in her head.Â
She tells herself itâs just a missionâprofessional, routine.
But now, with you guiding her through the next steps, each word falling from your lips makes it harder for her to maintain her usually calm, steady demeanor.Â
Her heart beats a little faster, and her cheeks feel a bit warmer than they should. She brushes off the thoughts and keeps walking, determined to stay cool and collected.
âUmâŚNatasha?â
She stops mid-step. âHmm?â
âYouâreâŚgoing the wrong way.â
Natasha freezes, blinking in surprise. She glances around, realizing sheâs heading in the opposite direction from the elevators.
A wave of embarrassment sweeps over her as she lets out a quiet curse under her breath.
âRight,â Natasha says, turning with as much dignity as she can muster, her face heating as she finally heads in the correct direction.
Oh, she thinks to herself, sheâs definitely going to kill Clint.
~~~~~~~ â§ ~~~~~~~
Natasha steps out of her room, her leather jacket slung over one arm as she adjusts the zipper.Â
Your voice calls her name from down the hall, catching her off guard and making her slam the door shut in a startled motion. She spins to face you, only to be tugged back by an unexpected resistance.
Natasha looks down with a sigh, spotting her jacket sleeve caught in the door. Tugging at it proves ineffective, as it stays firmly wedged in place.
Hearing your footsteps approaching, Natasha hastily shoves the jacket behind her back, trying to appear composed. She leans casually against the door, hoping the awkward moment has gone unnoticed.
âHey,â you greet with a warm smile as you reach her.
âHey, Y/n,â Natasha replies, attempting a relaxed tone.
You eye her with a hint of curiosity. âAre youâŚokay?â
âYeah, Iâm fine!â Natasha says quickly, forcing a casual smile. âJust, um, examining the door. Thought it could use a closer look.â
Your brows raise in amused surprise at her peculiar explanation, but you let it go.Â
âWell, once youâre done with that,â you say, playing along, âI made a reservation at that new place downtown. I was wondering if youâd like to join me?â
âJust the two of us?â The words slip out before Natasha can stop herself.Â
A flicker of excitement and amusement crosses your face as you nod.Â
âYeah, just us,â you say softly.
Natashaâs heart gives a small flutter, but she maintains her composure.Â
âIâd love to,â she says, a smile slipping through despite her best efforts to stay calm.
âGreat, itâs a date,â you say, grinning. âIâll meet you in the garage.â With a playful smirk, you add, âAfter you finish your âinspection,â of course.â
As you walk toward the elevator, Natasha watches you with a lingering smile.
Once youâre out of sight, she finally frees her jacket and heads to the garage a few minutes later, finding you waiting by her motorcycle.
You hop on behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist in a snug embrace.Â
The warmth of your presence makes her feel a fluttering sensation in her chest she canât shake. Distracted, Natasha blindly reaches for her helmet and slips it onâonly to be met with complete darkness.
With a soft sigh, Natashaâs head drops to her chest, realizing she put it on backward.Â
The chuckle that escapes your lips behind her is quickly muffled as you clear your throat, your hands reaching to help her.Â
You gently remove the helmet, your fingers brushing her cheek as you pull it off.
When Natasha glances back, she catches the playful look in your eyes as you bite back a grin.
Seeing this, Natasha lets out an exasperated sigh.Â
âCan we just pretend the last few minutes didnât happen and start over? I swear, this doesnât usually happen to me.â
You laugh, unable to hold back anymore.Â
âOh, I know all about the smooth and charming Black Widow,â you say, your gaze warm and teasing. âBut I think this side of you is pretty cute too.â
A faint blush spreads across her cheeks at your words, and Natasha takes the helmet, this time slipping it on correctly, with a soft smile she canât quite hide anymore.
~~~~~~~ â§ ~~~~~~~
Itâs another one of Tonyâs famous parties, where glittering lights reflect off polished floors and music pulses softly through the spacious hall.Â
In the middle of the dance floor, beneath the warm glow, Natasha sways with you, her hands resting gently on your waist as you move together to the rhythm of the soft melody.Â
You wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in and drawing her closer until your lips meet hers in a tender, lingering kiss.Â
Natasha smiles softly against your lips, and as you pull back, she rests her forehead gently against yours, eyes half-closed in a moment of quiet contentment.Â
Even as the music fades into the background, her hands remain firm on your waist, as if she has no intention of letting go.
âWhy donât we get something to drink?â you suggest, glancing over at the bar lined with sparkling glasses.
Natasha only pulls you closer, her fingers brushing lightly along the small of your back as she murmurs, âOrâŚwe could stay right here and have another dance.âÂ
Her voice is a soft suggestion, and she leans in slightly, her green eyes filled with warmth and alluring charm.
You raise an eyebrow, a knowing smile spreading across your lips.Â
âItâs cute how youâre trying to be smooth.â
Natashaâs expression shifts, feigning innocence.Â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about,â she says, though the faintest blush colors her cheeks.
With a playful glint in your eye, you tilt your head at her in challenge.Â
âHow long has your bracelet been stuck to my dress?â you ask, giving her a teasing look.
Natasha glances away, the blush deepening as she realizes sheâs been caught. Sheâs spent the past few moments subtly trying to free her wrist from your dress, but to no avail.
âIn my defense,â she murmurs, attempting to deflect, âyou distracted me with how beautiful you look tonight.â
You chuckle softly at her excuse, reaching up to pull her even closer. With a playful grin, you press a gentle kiss to her lips before leaning in to whisper against her ear.
âThink of the bright sideâif you canât get it loose, Iâm sure you could just rip this dress off me.â
Natashaâs breath catches, and for a split second, sheâs utterly still, her mind stalling at the suggestion.Â
You pull back just enough to watch her expression, and a delighted smile grows on your face as she stares at you, wide-eyed and flustered, clearly caught off guard.
It only takes her a moment to catch on, her eyes narrowing in realization as she shakes her head with a playful huff.Â
âYouâre trying to embarrass me on purpose,â she accuses, a hint of a smile breaking through.
Unashamed, you bite back a laugh and nod.Â
âItâs nice to see the calm and collected Black Widow all flustered for once.â
Natashaâs lips curl into a smirk as she pulls you flush against her, her free hand sliding up your back, fingers grazing along your spine. She leans in, her lips just a breath away from yours, the warmth of her gaze intense.
âOnly for you,â she murmurs, her voice a hushed promise before closing the distance, her lips capturing yours in a kiss that makes you forget the world around you, the room fading away as you melt into each otherâs embrace.
~~~~~~~ â§ ~~~~~~~
a/n: just a short fluff with a soft Natasha that I had finished some time ago. after everything that has happened yesterday and today, I wanted to give some kind of happier distraction, even if it may be only a temporary escape from everything. Iâm still going between disbelief, sadness, and anger myself about the situation while also trying to be prepared to continue on. But hopefully, this was able to bring some of you some sort of break from everything else.
#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x you#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff#natasha romanov x reader
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đđĄđđ˘đ§ đ¨đ đđ¨đŚđŚđđ§đ
ambessa medarda x f!reader

warnings: see above. mdni. f!sub!reader. dom!ambessa. mirror sex. vaginal fingering. older woman/younger woman, age gap. praise. begging. dirty talk. power imbalance. orgasm denial (1x). power dynamics. guided masturbationâas in: her hand over yours. allusions to aftercare. established relationship. (but it's messy). ambassador!reader.
summary: some handle domestic affairs. some handle foreign affairs. you handle being the affair pressed up against expensive furniture by noxusâ decorated general.
notes: the "explicit" in my last fic was tragically lackingâso much so that it kept me up at night. therefore, i skipped two of my french classes to remedy that. bon appĂŠtit or whatever.Â
You stood before the silver-lined mirror in your private quarters, removing the pins from todayâs elaborate updoâa necessity for the diplomatic summit you'd just concluded. Each clink against your vanity echoed like falling shards of glass, the slow dismantling of the persona you wore in the council chambers. Your reflection stared back, composed even in solitude, jaw still set with the tension of twelve hours of negotiations.
The door opened without warningâonly one person would dare enter your space so careless.
"Piltovians, is it?" Ambessa's voice carried from the entrance, sultry and smooth like aged merlot. "You had them all wrapped around your finger." Her reflection appeared behind yours in the mirror, still in her military regalia, though she'd removed her formal coat. The sleeves rolled to expose strong forearms marred with scarsâeach one a story you'd traced with reverent fingers on languid nights.
You maintained eye contact through the mirror, refusing to turn, to give her the satisfaction of seeing how her mere presence affected you. "That's my job."Â
"Mm." She stepped closer, her boots silent on the plush carpet. "You're remarkably good at it. The way you led that delegate in circles until he agreed to your terms..." Her hands came to rest on your shoulders, heavy and feverish, the warmth of her seeping through the silk of your blouse. "Very impressive."
"High praise from the great General Medarda," your voice wavered as her thumbs pressed into the knots at the base of your neck, skilled fingers finding tension you didn't even know you carried until it began to unspool under her hands. Your eyes fluttered shut despite your best efforts, a small sound escaping your throat unbidden.
"Look at yourself," she commanded softly, her breath ghosting your ear, too close for comfort. Your eyes snapped openâyears of martial training compelling you to respond to her tone. "Look how exquisite you are when you start to let go."
Heat crawled up your neck, staining your cheeks a telling rose. "Ambessa..."
"No." Her fingers threaded through your hair, now loose around your shoulders. "Watch." She gathered the strands, exposing the graceful line of your neck, and pressed her lips to the sensitive spot below your jawâthat place she'd discovered could make you come undone with the barest touch. Your breath hitched audibly, heartbeat thrumming hummingbird-quick against her mouth. "See how your body responds to me? How it knows what you need even when your mind fights it?"
You tried to look away but her other hand caught you, grip bordering on bruising, keeping you captive to your own reflection. "I don'tâ" you started, but she nipped at your pulse and the protest died right on the tip of your tongue, lost to the wave of desire that crashed through you, as if dissolving your very bones.
"You do," she corrected, her voice honeyed gravelâthat maddening mix of velour and steel that never failed to ignite a fire in your blood. "You spend all day being in control. Making decisions that shape nations." Her free hand slid down your arm, calluses from years of wielding a blade drifting against your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake, leaving touches that settled into an ache between your thighs. "But here, with me..." She pressed closer, her front flush against your back, the hard planes of her body a delicious contrast to your softer curves. "You don't have to be anything but mine."
The word sent liquid heat pooling low in your abdomen, and you couldn't hide itânot from her, and not from yourself. Not with the mirror forcing you to witness every micro-expression that crossed your faceâthe way your lips parted on a shaky exhale, kiss-deficient and wanting; the flush spreading across your face, down your neck, disappearing beneath the collar of your blouse; the naked hunger in your eyes, pupils wide.
"Look at you," Ambessa murmured, her breath searing against your skin, branding you with invisible marks more permanent than any ink. "How you tremble for me." Her hand splayed across your stomach, pressing you back against her, securing you to the solid strength of her. "How you're aching to surrender."
"Please," you choked out, the word torn from your throat, raw and desperate as you tilted your head back against her shoulder, baring the column of your throat in silent offering. "Ambessa, I need-"
"What do you need, little dove?" She caught your earlobe between sharp teeth, biting just this side of too hard, soothing the sting with her tongue. "Tell me. Watch yourself say it."
The pet name broke you, shattered the last of your resolve. A sound escaped youâhalf whine, half fractured gaspâand you no longer cared how wanton you looked, how far you'd fallen. "You," you breathed, barely recognizing the lust-drunk rasp of your own voice. "I need you. Need you to make me let go."Â
Ambessa's smile was a curl of unfiltered satisfaction, feline and dangerous. "Clever girl," she purred, and you shuddered at the praise, feeling it slide down your spine like springwater. "Now, keep those lovely eyes open. I want you to watch as I take you apart." Her hands moved to the fastenings of your blouse, deft fingers making quick work of the delicate buttons.Â
You couldn't look away if the world was ending, captivated by the sight of her divesting you of your clothesâthe silk and lace that you donned every morning like it could protect you. The contrast of her battle-roughened hands against your smooth skin, the way the candlelight danced across her face, softening the sharp contours, the wildfire of desire blazing in her dark eyesâyou committed it all to memory, carved it into your very marrow.
"The way you test my control," she rasped, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your shoulder as she bared it to the cool evening air. "Do you know what it took not to bend you over the council table today, in front of all those simpering delegates?" Her teeth scraped against your collarbone, dull nips that had you arching into her touch with a needy whimper. "Knowing that I'm the only one who gets to see you like this?â
Your hands clenched helplessly at your sides, itching to reach back, to anchor yourself to the flex of her hips, the coiled strength of her thighs, but you didn't dareânot without her permission. She noticed your white-knuckled restraint, a slow smirk etching its way onto her lips. "So well-behaved for me," she praised, one broad palm sliding up your torso to cup your breast, thumb scraping over the sensitive peak. "Keeping those greedy hands still, even though you're dying to touch. Aren't you, hm?"
"Yes," you gasped, voice breaking on the single vowel as she rolled your nipple between deft fingers, sparking pleasure that bordered on torturous. "Please, Ambessa, I can'tâ I needâ"
"Shh, I know." Her other hand slid down your stomach, fingertips teasing along the waistband of your trousers, dipping just beneath the fabric to trace maddening patterns on your overheated skin. "You're being so good, letting me take my time with you. Letting me savor you."Â
A broken moan slipped past your swollen lips, and your hips canted forward, seeking friction, seeking relief, but she held you fast, kept you still. "Ah-ah, none of that," she chided, but there was a roughness to her voice now, a hunger that echoed your own. "You'll take what I give you, isnât that right, sweet girl?â
"Yes," you breathed, surrendering to her completely, utterlyâa diplomat used to finding authority in words, now reduced to a single need, an urge. "Yes, Ambessa, anything, just pleaseâ"
"I have you," she murmured, and it was sacred breathed against your skin, a permanent whispered in the scant space between your bodies. "I'll give you what you need, little one. I'll shatter you so beautifully, then put you back together, piece by piece. You can let go."
With a final tug, your trousers fell to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwearâdrenched and trembling. Ambessaâs thighs brushed against the back of yours, her warmth wrapping around you like a second skin. Her hand slid down your abdomen, over your navel, to cup the heat between your legs, and you jolted at the contactâso sudden, so possessive.
"Easy," she murmured, her thumb stroking circles over the damp fabric, sending shudders through your body. "Calm yourself."
You watched in the mirror as she hooked her fingers under the elastic of your panties and pulled, the fabric sliding away to reveal the slickness that glistened, filthily so. The sight of your own arousal had you biting your lower lip, a wordless plea for more. And she knewâof course she knewâjust how to read the language of your body, the dialect of your cravings. Her hand slid into your wetness, and you keeled over forward with a gasp, the heel of your palm smacking against the vanity as you tried to keep your legs from giving out.
That earned you a huff of pityâor amusement, it was hard to tell.
Her eyes never left yours in the reflection as she stroked you, her thumb circling your swollen clit, her fingers slipping deeper, higher, coaxing and caressing until your hips moved of their own accordâuntil you were rocking against her hand. Mewls spilled and tumbled from your lips, honey-drenched sounds of submission tainted with primal lust; Ambessaâs veins threatened to clog with the aphrodisiac your undoing was dripping into them.
Much to her delight, or perhaps your dismay, you could feel yourself beginning to teeter on the very edge of something vast, something overwhelmingâyour skin hypersensitive, lungs burning as if you'd been underwater for hours, drowning in sensation. And just as you thought you couldn't possibly take anymore, when something inside you threatened to snap like an overwound string, she slid her fingers out.
That fucking tease of aâ
Quickly as it disappeared, her hand moved to grasp yours, guiding it back to where she'd just been.
"Show me," she quieted the protests that threatened to form on your tongue, her own voice strained with need. "Show me how much you want it."
You obeyed without an ounce of hesitation, your arm shaking as it replaced hers, your fingers slipping into your own heat. The sight of your hand, entwined with hers, working in tandem to give you pleasure was almost too much to bear. But you didn't look away. You watched every twitch of your eyelids, every exhale that stole your breath, every quiver of your lip as you brought yourself closer to the precipice.
This was loss of control, stripped from you in its purest, most delicious form. A dizzying realization that you'd spend forever chasing this highâthe unashamed longing pulsing through you as you fought the urge to beg for more. You'd never wished to yield to someone else like this before, never thirsted for surrender with such feral vocarity that it made your bones rattle with hollow want, yet here you were; fracturing in Ambessaâs grasp like it was written in the stars themselves, an inevitability as ancient as violence and twice as devastating.
And then, with a cry that echoed off the cold walls of your room, raw and unrestrained, you came undoneâshuddering, writhing; it was as if months of strain had crystallized beneath your skin, every careful word and measured breath condensing into this singular moment of release. You arched up into her, against her, seemingly never-ending tension bleeding from your muscles, leaving you boneless and at mercy of her hold.
The room spun around you as your body fought to remember how to breathe, and, though youâd never admit it, you were deeply gracious for her efforts to hold you uprightâhands firm on your hips, keeping you grounded. You leaned back, feeling the solidity of her chest, the thunder of her heart behind you. It was blissful, if only fleetingâthe courage to bare your throat to the one person who could tear it out, trusting that she would press kind lips and quiet praises to its column instead.Â
How curious, that the wolf of Noxus knew not just how to devour, but how to savor, fangs carefully sheathed. That being spared could feel so devastatingly like being consumed.
Šď¸kissesz
#arcane#ambessa medarda#ambessa medarda x reader#ambessa x reader#arcane ambessa#ambessa x you#ambessa x y/n#ambessa medarda x you#ambessa x female reader#ambessa medarda x female reader#ambessa medarda x y/n#ambessa arcane#ambessa medarda smut#arcane fanfic#arcane x female reader#lesbian#sapphic#wlw#ambessa smut#wlw smut
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wanted: dead or wed



chapter one: sweet thing with a switchblade
pairing â cowboy satoru x bandit reader
synopsis : satoruâs just passing throughâdust in his lungs, a bullet wound in his side, and no intention of staying anywhere too longâwhen you crash into his life like bad luck with a pretty face. youâre trouble from the start, all sharp looks and sharper secrets, but heâs never had much self-control when it comes to danger dressed like desire. what begins with blood and bad timing turns into something else entirelyâsomething he canât name, canât escape, and sure as hell canât walk away from. youâre the last thing he needs, but the only thing he wants, and if that makes him a fool⌠well, heâs been worse.
tags -> wild west au, enemies to lovers, sexual tension, dubcon elements, forced proximity, captivity, power imbalance, morally ambiguous character, horny at first sight, feelings later, toxic dynamic at first, eventual healthy relationship (i swear), gojo satoru is down bad, slowly falling into domesticity, eventual smut, eventual fluff, banter, unresolved sexual tension, other additional tags to be added
wc â 8.4k | series m.list | gen. m.list
your scream cuts through the desert air like a blade through silk. Â
satoruâs hands tighten on the reins without conscious thought, his mare luna already wheeling toward the sound before his mind catches up. dust kicks up around them in russet clouds, the sun beating down merciless and white. heâd been riding for three days straight, his thoughts circling like vultures around the deed folded in his saddlebagâhis motherâs house, waiting for him like a grave heâs not ready to visit. but a womanâs scream? thatâs different. thatâs immediate. thatâs the kind of thing mama wouldâve skinned him alive for ignoring. Â
his spurs dig into lunaâs flanks and she responds like lightning, her hooves drumming against the hardpan earth. the wind whips through hair that catches light like spun glass, wild and pale against the endless blue sky. sweat dampens his shirt beneath the leather vest, salt stinging where it meets the dust caked on his skin. he can taste the desert on his tongueâgrit and heat and something metallic that might be his own blood from where heâd bitten his cheek that morning, trying to stay awake.
through the scrub brush and twisted mesquite, he spots you. Â
and christ, youâre beautiful.
even terrified, even with dirt streaking your cheeks and tears cutting clean tracks through the grime, youâre the kind of beautiful that makes a man forget his own name. your dress is torn at the shoulder, fabric clinging to curves that make his mouth go dry despite the heat. thereâs something about the way youâre positionedâsprawled but not quite helpless, your ankle twisted at an angle that screams pain but your spine still holding some invisible thread of steel. Â
behind you, two men with guns drawn. standard issue bandits by the look of them, all beard and bluster and eyes like dead fish. oneâs got a hand twisted in your hair, yanking your head back to expose the vulnerable line of your throat. the otherâs got his barrel trained on your temple, finger hovering over the trigger with the kind of casual threat that makes satoruâs jaw clench. Â
âhelp!â you cry, and your voice cracks just rightâdesperate but not quite broken, like youâre holding onto hope by your fingernails. âplease, theyâre gonna kill me!â Â
satoruâs already moving, lunaâs hooves throwing up clouds of red dirt as they thunder into the clearing. he swings down from the saddle with fluid grace, his duster coat billowing around him like dark wings. his hand finds the grip of his colt without thought, muscle memory carved deep by years of staying alive in places where hesitation gets you buried. Â
âno worries, sweetheart,â he drawls, voice carrying that easy confidence thatâs gotten him out of more scrapes than he can count. âiâve got you.â Â
the first banditâscraggly beard, vest thatâs seen better decadesâshifts his aim toward satoru. mistake. satoruâs already moving, his body flowing like water around the muzzle flash. the bullet whines past his ear, close enough to feel the heat, and then his own gun is speaking. clean shot, center mass. the man drops like a stone. Â
the second bandit doesnât even get the chance to scream. satoruâs on him in two strides, his blade sliding between ribs with surgical precision. blood blooms across the manâs shirt, dark and spreading, and he crumples with a wet gurgle. Â
satoru turns back to you, already reaching for his bandana to clean the blood from his knife. âyou hurt, darlinâ? they lay hands on you?â Â
but youâre not looking at him with gratitude. youâre looking at him with something else entirelyâcalculation. focus. the kind of look a predator gives prey before it strikes. Â
thatâs when he sees it. the flash of metal in your hand. the way your body coils, all that supposed helplessness melting away like sugar in rain. time slows to honey-thick molasses as you lunge forward, your blade aimed with deadly precision at the gap between his ribs. Â
clever girl. Â
the steel slides home with a whisper, parting flesh like it was made for it. fire explodes through his side, white-hot and immediate, and he can feel the warmth spreading across his shirt. but even as the pain hits, even as his own blood starts to paint his fingers crimson, heâs almost impressed. almost. Â
âwell, shit,â he breathes, looking down at where your blade has found its mark. the shock in your eyes is almost comicalâlike you canât quite believe you actually managed to stick him. âyou really had me going there, sugar.â Â
thatâs when they emerge from the treeline. a dozen men, maybe more, whooping and hollering like demons fresh from hell. your backup, he realizes. the real trap. heâd been so focused on playing hero that heâd walked right into it, led by his cock and his conscience in equal measure. Â
âguess iâm the fool here,â he says, and thereâs something almost conversational in his tone. almost amused. because fools donât last long in the west, and satoruâs been breathing desert air for more years than most men see in a lifetime. Â
the first wave hits him like a tide of violence and stupidity. guns blazing, knives flashing, voices raised in bloodthirsty chorus. and satoru? satoru becomes something else entirely. something that moves like liquid death and strikes like divine judgment. Â
his revolvers sing their deadly song, muzzle flashes painting the desert in brief, brilliant light. bullets that should have found their mark bend around him like theyâre afraid to touch him, deflected by forces that donât have names in any language spoken by mortal men. one bandit charges with a wild scream and meets satoruâs fist instead, the sound of breaking bone sharp and final in the desert air. Â
another tries to flank him, blade gleaming in the dying light. satoru catches his wrist, twists until something snaps, and sends the manâs own knife sliding between his ribs. the scream cuts off abruptly, replaced by the wet sound of punctured lung. Â
through it all, satoru moves like heâs dancing. coat tails spinning, hair streaming pale as moonlight, those impossible eyes bright as winter stars. blood seeps through his shirt where your blade found its mark, but it doesnât slow him. if anything, it seems to fuel him, like pain is just another kind of music and heâs conducting the orchestra. Â
one by one, they fall. screaming. bleeding. dying. Â
when the smoke clears and the last echo of gunfire fades into the endless sky, satoruâs still standing. breathing hard now, finally, sweat mixing with blood and dust on his skin. his glasses are gone, lost somewhere in the chaos, revealing eyes that burn like cold fire. unnatural. divine. hungry. Â
and you? youâre staring at him like heâs the devil himself, pressed back against a gnarled tree with your hands shaking and your face pale as bone.
thatâs when he hears it. the sound of hoofbeats, fast and fading. your so-called partners, fleeing like the cowards they are. leaving you behind like yesterdayâs garbage. Â
âthey left you,â he says, and thereâs something almost gentle in his voice. almost. âafter all that acting, they just... left you.â Â
he can see the moment it hits youâthe betrayal, the abandonment. your face crumbles for just a second before you school it back into defiance, but that second is enough. satoruâs always been good at reading people, at seeing the cracks in their armor. itâs kept him alive this long. Â
âfuck you,â you spit, and he laughs. actually laughs, the sound rich and dark and entirely too pleased. Â
âoh, sweetheart,â he says, closing the distance between you in two long strides. âweâre just getting started.â Â
his hand shoots out, fast as a striking snake, and clamps around your wrist. you yelp as he yanks you upright, slamming you back against the tree. bark digs into your spine, and his face is inches from yours. close enough to see the gold flecks in those impossible eyes, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his skin. Â
âyou gonna scream again, darlinâ?â he rasps, tilting his head like heâs studying you. like youâre something fascinating and dangerous and worth taking apart piece by piece. âgo on. give me another show.â Â
his free hand slides down your waist, slow and deliberate, fingers pressing through the fabric of your dress like heâs mapping territory. claiming it. his breath ghosts across your jaw, warm and sharp with the copper taste of violence. Â
âbut first,â he says, voice dropping to something low and dangerous, âyouâre gonna pay for trying to fool me.â Â
his grip tightens. his smile deepens. Â
âand sugar, i charge interest.â
the ride to his motherâs house is torture in more ways than one. Â
every bounce of lunaâs gait sends fire through the wound in his side, but worseâso much worseâis the way you feel pressed against him. soft curves and angry heat, your body rigid with tension and something else. something that makes his pulse quicken despite the blood loss. despite the pain. despite every rational thought screaming at him to get you secured and stop thinking about the way your ass fits against his hips. Â
youâd fought like a wildcat when heâd hauled you up and thrown you over his saddle, all claws and fury and threats that wouldâve made a saint blush. but now youâve gone quiet, probably plotting your escape. he almost hopes you try. itâs been too long since heâs had a proper challenge, and something about youâthe way youâd played your part so perfectly, the way youâd looked at him like he was death incarnateâmakes him think you might actually be worth the effort. Â
âyou can stop planning,â he says conversationally, his voice rumbling through his chest and into your back. âwherever you think youâre gonna run, iâll find you.â Â
your only response is to dig your elbow into his thigh, and he grins despite the pain. despite the way his shirt is stuck to his skin with drying blood. despite the fact that heâs probably losing his mind, because no sane man would be this entertained by a woman who just tried to kill him. Â
lunaâs hooves drum against the hardpan, steady and sure, carrying them both toward a destination heâs been avoiding for months. his motherâs house sits on the outskirts of a nothing town called redemption, all faded paint and memories heâs not ready to face. but itâs isolated, which is what he needs right now. isolated and empty and far enough from civilization that no one will hear you scream. Â
the thought sends heat pooling low in his belly, and he has to shift in the saddle to hide his bodyâs reaction. you feel it anywayâthe way his muscles tense, the way his breathing changesâand you go even more rigid against him. like youâre trying to make yourself smaller. invisible. Â
âeasy there, darlinâ,â he murmurs, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. âi can feel you thinking. itâs giving me a headache.â Â
you flinch at the contact, a full-body shiver that he feels more than sees. interesting. he files that reaction away for later, along with the way your breathing hitches when he speaks and the way your hands clench into fists when he touches you. Â
the sun is setting by the time they reach the house, painting the sky in shades of rust and gold. itâs worse than he rememberedâsheets over furniture, dust thick as snow, windows so grimy they barely let in light. the garden his mother had tended with such care is nothing but weeds and regret now, the white picket fence weathered to gray. Â
âhome sweet home,â he mutters, sliding you down from lunaâs back. you immediately try to bolt, just like he knew you would, and he catches you around the waist before you can take two steps. your body slams back against his chest, soft and warm and trembling with barely contained rage. Â
âuh-uh, sugar,â he says, his arm tightening around you. âyouâre not going anywhere.â Â
your pulse is racing under his fingers, a frantic rhythm that matches the way youâre breathing. fast and shallow, like youâre fighting panic. like you think heâs going to hurt you in ways that donât involve bullets or blades. Â
âwhat do you want?â you demand, and he can hear the fear threading through your anger. you think heâs going to force himself on you. the thought should disgust himâhis mother raised him better than that, taught him that real men donât take what isnât freely given. but instead, it makes him wonder what youâd look like beneath him, all that fight turned to desperate need.Â
the house looms before you two, full of shadows and silence. the porch creaks under their weight, old wood groaning like itâs protesting this reunion. satoru hesitates at the door, one hand resting on the knob, his breath shallow. Â
âshe always hated leaving it locked,â he mutters, more to himself than to you. he turns the handle. the door swings open with a low moan, like itâs waking from a long sleep.
inside, dust motes dance in the last rays of sunlight, and the air smells like lavender and loss. his motherâs presence is everywhereâin the lace curtains sheâd sewn by hand, in the photographs lining the mantel, in the rocking chair where sheâd spent her last days waiting for a son whoâd been too much of a coward to come home. her ghost lingers in the wallpaper, in the creak of the floorboards, in the quiet hum of the house settling back into itself. Â
satoru steps over the threshold and doesnât breathe for a moment. his fingers trail the side table by the door, where her gloves used to rest. his eyes flick to the photo near the hearthâher smile caught mid-laugh, dust blurring the frame. he swallows. Â
âdonât touch anything,â he says, voice tight. Â
you say nothing, but your eyes sweep the room like a threat. like youâre already planning which window youâll break when the time comes. Â
he pushes the guilt down, locks it away where it canât touch him. there will be time for that later. time for apologies to ghosts and promises to women who canât hear them anymore. right now, he has more pressing concerns. Â
like the way youâre looking at himâcalculating, measuring, searching for weakness. like the way your tongue darts out to wet your lips when you think heâs not watching. like the way his body is responding to your proximity despite the pain, despite the blood loss, despite every reason this is a terrible idea. Â
he turns toward you then, the dying sunlight painting his face in copper and shadow. Â
âstrip,â he orders, and watches your face drain of color. the word hangs in the air between them like a loaded gun, heavy with implication and threat. Â
he drinks in your reaction like fine whiskeyâthe way your eyes go wide, pupils dilating with terror. the way your hands fly to your chest, protective and futile. the way your breathing goes shallow, like you're drowning on dry land. beautiful. absolutely fucking beautiful. Â
âplease,â you whisper, and something in his chest tightens. something that feels dangerously close to conscience, but he's having too much fun to stop now. âplease, iââ Â
ânow, now,â he drawls, taking a step closer. close enough that you have to tilt your head back to meet his eyesâthose impossible eyes that burn like winter frost touched by flame. close enough that he can see the pulse hammering at your throat, fast and frantic. âdon't look at me like that, sugar. like i'm some kinda monster.â Â
but he lets his gaze rake over you slowly, deliberately. lets it linger on the curve of your breasts, the way your dress clings to your waist, the smooth line of your thighs. lets you see him looking. lets you feel the weight of his attention like hands on your skin. Â
âyou think i'm gonna hurt you?â he asks, and his voice is soft. conversational. like he's asking about the weather instead of the fear painting your face pale. âthink i'm gonna hold you down and take what i want?â Â
you flinch at the words, and he has to bite back a groan. the way terror looks on you should be wrong, should make him feel sick. instead, it makes him want to see what other expressions he can pull from you. what other sounds. Â
âthe thought's crossed your mind, hasn't it?â he continues, circling you slowly. predatory. hair like spun starlight catching the dying light from the windows. âbig, scary man like me. isolated house. no one around for miles.â he pauses behind you, close enough that his breath ghosts across your neck. âbet you can already feel it, can't you? my hands on your skin.â Â
you shudder, and he knows he's hit the mark. knows you're imagining exactly what he wants you to imagine. your body betrays youâthe way you lean away from him, the way your hands shake, the way your breath catches when he speaks. Â
âstop,â you whisper, but there's no real force behind it. you're caught between fear and something else, something that makes your pulse quicken for reasons that have nothing to do with terror. Â
âstop what?â he asks, moving back into your line of sight. âstop telling the truth? stop making you think about what it would feel like?â he reaches out, fingers barely grazing your cheek. âstop making you wonder if you'd like it?â Â
the slap comes fast, sharp, and he catches your wrist before you can pull away. his grip is gentle but immovable, and he tsks softly. Â
ânow that's just rude,â he says, but he's grinning. âhere i am, being a perfect gentleman, and you're trying to mark up my pretty face.â Â
âgentleman?â you spit, and there's fire in your eyes now. anger burning through the fear. âyou're sick.â Â
âmaybe,â he agrees easily. âbut i'm also patient. and i do so enjoy watching you squirm.â Â
he releases your wrist and steps back, putting space between you again. the absence of his touch is almost as unsettling as the presence of it, and he can see you struggling to recalibrate. to figure out what game he's playing. Â
he watches your face for a long moment, drinking in the terror, the way your mind is clearly spinning through every horrible possibility. the way you're looking at him like he's already got his hands on you. like you can feel phantom touches burning across your skin. Â
his eyes drop to your mouthâyour lips parted with quick, shallow breaths. soft. probably sweet. definitely something he wants to taste. the impulse hits him like lightning, sudden and electric, and before he can think better of it, he's moving closer.
one hand finds your cheek, thumb brushing across your skin with surprising gentleness. the other braces against the wall behind you, caging you in. your eyes widen, confusion replacing terror as he leans in, and christ, you smell like dust and fear and something uniquely you that makes his head spin. Â
âwhat are youââ you start, but the words die as he gets closer. close enough that he can feel the heat radiating from your skin, close enough that your breath mingles with his. Â
his eyesâpale as winter sky, bright as lightningâflick down to your mouth again. back up to your eyes. down again. he's so close now that he can see the tiny flecks of gold in your irises, can count your eyelashes, can feel the way your body trembles with each ragged breath. Â
âjust wondering,â he murmurs, voice rough and low, âwhat you taste like.â Â
and then he's leaning in, closing that final distance, and youâ Â
you close your eyes. Â
the realization hits him like a physical blow. here you are, terrified and trapped and completely at his mercy, and you're tilting your face up to meet his. your lashes flutter against your cheeks, dark and delicate, and your lips part just slightly in unconscious invitation. Â
beautiful. so fucking beautiful it makes his chest ache. Â
for a heartbeat, he hovers there. a breath away. close enough that he can feel the warmth of your skin, can smell the salt of unshed tears and the sweet scent of your hair. close enough that all he'd have to do is lean forward just a fraction more and he'd be tasting you, claiming you, taking what he wants because he's always been impulsive as hell and you're looking at him likeâ Â
like you want him to. Â
but something stops him. maybe it's the way your hands are shaking. maybe it's the memory of his mother's voice, telling him that real men don't take advantage. maybe it's the fact that you just tried to kill him and he's not sure if this is surrender or strategy. Â
whatever it is, he pulls back. Â
just a fraction. just enough to break the spell. Â
and then he laughs. Â
the sound is rich and genuine and entirely too amused, echoing off the dusty walls of his mother's house. it's the kind of laugh that makes you feel like you're missing the punchline to some cruel joke, and your eyes snap open, confusion and hurt flashing across your features. Â
âdidn't peg you for the type to fall for a man that fast,â he says, voice dripping with mock surprise. âyou must be real easy, darlin'.â Â
the words hit you like a slap, and he watches the progression of emotions across your faceâconfusion melting into embarrassment, embarrassment burning into rage. your cheeks flame red, and you look like you want to disappear into the floorboards. Â
âyouââ you start, voice thick with mortification, but he's already moving away, putting distance between you again. Â
âwhat exactly did you think i was asking you to do?â he continues, reaching into his saddlebags and tossing you a bundle of clean clothes. the fabric hits your chest and you catch it reflexively, still staring at him like he's lost his mind. Â
âstrip,â he repeats, voice dripping with mock innocence. âas in, take off those filthy rags and put on something clean. you know, basic human hygiene?â he tilts his head, studying you with those impossible eyes that seem to see right through you. âwhat did you think i meant?â Â
the realization hits you like a physical blow, and he can see the exact moment your brain catches up to what just happened. the way your eyes widen further, the way the color in your cheeks deepens from pink to scarlet.Â
âyou're filthy,â he continues, his grin widening as he watches you struggle with the whiplash of emotions. âand you smell like horse. there's a washbasin in the kitchen, pump's out back. get cleaned up.â he pauses, letting the moment stretch. âunless, of course, you'd prefer to stay dirty. some folks are into that sort of thing.â Â
âyouâyou bastard,â you stammer, and your voice is thick with humiliation and fury. âyou did that on purpose.â Â
âdid what?â he asks, all wide-eyed innocence even as his eyes glitter with amusement. âasked you to change clothes? seems pretty reasonable to me.â he leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. âcan't help it if you've got a dirty mind, darlin'. and apparently a weak spot for pretty faces.â Â
the look you give him could melt steel, but there's something else there now. embarrassment that goes bone-deep, rage that makes your whole body tremble, and underneath it all, something that might be wounded pride. like you can't believe you fell for it. can't believe you actually thought he was going to kiss you. Â
can't believe you wanted him to. Â
âwhat's the catch?â you ask through gritted teeth, clutching the clothes to your chest like armor. Â
âno catch,â he says, and for once he's not lying. âjust can't have you stinking up my house.â he pauses, then adds with a wicked grin, âand if you need help with any buttons or laces, just holler. i'm real good with my hands.â Â
you clutch the clothes tighter, and he can see you trying to decide if that was another threat or just more of his twisted sense of humor. the uncertainty in your eyes is almost as entertaining as the fear was. almost as satisfying as the way you'd looked at him when you thought he was going to kiss you. Â
âthe kitchen?â you ask, voice barely controlled. Â
âthrough there,â he says, nodding toward the doorway. âand sugar? don't even think about running. i told youâi'll find you. and next time, i might not be so generous.â Â
you take a step toward the kitchen, then pause. turn back. there's something in your expression that he can't quite readâcalculation, maybe, or the beginnings of a plan. or maybe just the desire to salvage some dignity from this train wreck of a conversation. Â
âyou think you're real clever, don't you?â you say, and there's steel in your voice now. fire. âgetting me all worked up like that.â Â
âworked up?â he echoes, and his grin turns predatory. âis that what we're calling it? here i thought you were just scared of a little soap and water.â Â
the blush that spreads across your cheeks is beautiful, and he files the image away for later. for when he's alone with his thoughts and his hand and the memory of the way you looked at him like he was going to devour you whole. the way you'd closed your eyes and tilted your face up to his like you wanted him to. Â
âgo on,â he says, shooing you toward the kitchen with one hand. âget cleaned up. and take your timeâi'm not going anywhere.â Â
you disappear into the kitchen without another word, and he's left alone with the ghosts and the dust and the sound of his own breathing. but also with something new. something that feels like anticipation, like the moment before a storm breaks. Â
through the doorway, he can hear you moving around. the creak of floorboards, the splash of water, the rustle of fabric. his imagination fills in the details, and he has to adjust himself in his pants because apparently nearly dying hasn't done anything to dampen his body's reaction to you. Â
especially not after that moment. that breath of space where you'd looked at him like you wanted to be kissed. where you'd closed your eyes and leaned into him like you trusted him not to hurt you. Â
like you wanted him to hurt you in all the right ways. Â
the wound in his side throbs with each heartbeat, a reminder of how close he'd come to dying today. how close he'd come to never making it home. but now he's here, in his mother's house, with a beautiful woman who tried to kill him washing herself in his kitchen. Â
it feels like the beginning of something dangerous and necessary and entirely too tempting to resist.Â
left alone, satoru feels the house settle around him like an old coat, all creaking wood and familiar ghosts. sunset bleeds through dusty windows, painting everything in shades of copper and regret. his wound throbs with every heartbeat, a steady reminder of how close heâd come to meeting his maker today. how close heâd come to never seeing this place again. Â
satoru grimaces, his jaw clenching as he shrugs off his duster. the movement pulls at torn skin, and he lets the leather fall to the floor in a heap of dust and regret. his shirt comes next, pale fingers working the buttons with practiced precision despite the tremor in his hands. he hisses through his teeth as the fabric pulls against torn skin, broad shoulders rolling to ease the sting. the cotton is ruinedâdark with blood and dirt, beyond salvation. like most things in his life, really. Â
he catches his reflection in the mirror above the mantel and almost laughs. he looks like hellâchest streaked with blood and grime, muscles tight with tension, that deep gash just beneath his ribs still weeping red. thereâs a bruise blooming across his shoulder where someoneâs fist had connected, and scratches on his arms from the scrub brush and flying bullets. heâs all sharp edges and bad decisions, and somehow heâs still breathing. Â
the pump out back protests when he works the handle, rust flaking off like old skin. his forearms strain against the stubborn metal, tendons standing out beneath sun-weathered skin. the water runs brown at first, then clear and cold enough to make him curse. he soaks a cloth and presses it to the wound, biting back a groan at the sharp bite of pain. Â Â
through the kitchen window, he can see you moving around. shadows and glimpses of skin, the sound of water splashing. his imagination fills in the detailsâthe way youâd look bent over the basin, soap sliding down your spine. the way his shirt would hang loose on your frame, the way it would smell like him when you put it on. Â
christ, heâs losing his mind. getting stabbed and then kidnapping your would-be killerâhis mother wouldâve boxed his ears for this kind of stupidity. but then again, mama had always said he had a weakness for lost causes and pretty faces. looks like death hadnât changed that particular character flaw. Â
âhow long does it take to scrub off a little betrayal?â he mutters, pressing the cloth harder against his ribs. the bleeding has slowed but not stopped, and he can feel exhaustion creeping in around the edges. blood loss, probably. or maybe just the weight of this godforsaken day finally catching up to him. Â
he glances toward the kitchen again. still no sign of you. maybe youâre plotting another escape attempt. maybe youâre just taking your sweet time to spite him. either way, heâs got nothing but time and bleeding wounds to keep him company. Â
the sound of bare feet on wood floors makes him look up, and then youâre there in the doorway, and his brain promptly forgets how to function. Â
youâre wearing his shirtâway too big, sleeves rolled sloppily up your forearms, the hem brushing mid-thigh. his pants are tied at your waist with the cord heâd tossed you, bunched and folded but somehow still managing to cling to your hips. your hairâs damp, sticking to your cheekbones, and thereâs a smear of soap behind your ear that he wants to lick off. Â
barefoot and clean and wearing his clothes, you look like trouble. like the kind of temptation that gets good men killed and bad men redeemed. like something he should run from if he had any sense left. Â
the moment his gaze lands on you, it sticks. travels from your bare legs to the way his shirt gaps at your throat, to the pulse point he can see hammering beneath your skin. the corner of his mouth lifts in appreciation, and his eyesâpale as winter sky, sharp as fractured glassâdrag over you with undisguised hunger. Â
âwell, donât you clean up nice,â he drawls, voice rougher than he intended. his head tilts slightly, studying you like a predator contemplating prey. âalmost makes me forget the whole stabbing part.â Â
you roll your eyes, but he catches the way you shift your weight from foot to foot, the way your hands fidget with the oversized sleeves. your chin lifts in defiance even as heat creeps up your neck. âyou bleeding out yet, or just fishing for compliments?â Â
he nods toward his side, where crimson is still seeping through his makeshift bandage. his smile turns lazy, dangerous. âcome take a look. unless youâd rather finish what you started.â Â
you hesitate for a beat, teeth worrying your lower lip, and he can see the wheels turning behind your eyes. calculating. weighing options. then you sigh, roll your eyes again, and walk over with that purposeful stride that makes his pulse quicken. your bare feet make no sound on the wooden floor, but he tracks every step. Â
âsit,â you command, and thereâs something different in your voice now. less fear, more exasperation. your hands find your hips, pushing the oversized shirt tight against your curves. âif you pass out, i donât wanna drag your corpse.â Â
he settles into the chair with a grunt, spreading his legs wide and leaning back. the position puts you between his thighs when you step closer, and he doesnât miss the way you tense at the proximity. doesnât miss the way your breath catches when you get your first good look at the damage. his eyesâmoonlight and mischiefânever leave your face. Â
âyou gonna patch me up or spit in it first?â he asks, tilting his head to watch your expression. his voice drops to a murmur, intimate in the dusty air. Â
âyou deserve worse,â you mutter, but your hands are already moving, peeling away the blood-soaked cloth with surprising gentleness. your fingertips brush his skin, and he watches the way you flinch at the contact, the way your pupils dilate despite your scowl. Â
âyou keep saying that, sugar, but your hands are shaking.â his voice is silk and smoke, and he leans forward slightly, invading your space. close enough that he can smell the soap in your hair, the lingering scent of his own skin on his clothes. Â
âiâm just trying not to punch you again.â your jaw clenches, but you donât pull away. if anything, you lean closer, your breath ghosting across his chest as you examine the wound. Â
âcute.â the word rumbles from his throat, and his smile turns wicked. his fingers twitch against his thighs, fighting the urge to touch. Â
you shoot him a look that could melt steel, your eyes flashing with fury and something elseâsomething that makes his blood sing. but you donât pull away. instead, you lean closer, studying the wound with the kind of focus that speaks of experience. too much experience for someone who should be playing tea parties and picking wildflowers. Â
âitâs not as bad as it looks,â you say finally, and thereâs something clinical in your tone. professional. your fingers trace the edges of the wound without quite touching, and he can feel the heat of your palm against his skin. âmissed anything vital. youâll live.â Â
âdisappointed?â his voice is barely above a whisper, and when you glance up at him, heâs close enough that you can see the flecks of silver in his eyes, the way his pupils have blown wide. Â
âjuryâs still out.â your words are breathless, and he watches the way your tongue darts out to wet your lips. watches the way your gaze drops to his mouth before snapping back up. Â
he chuckles, and the sound makes you glance up at him. for a moment, something passes between youârecognition, maybe. understanding. like youâre seeing past the blood and the bravado to something real underneath. the air between you crackles with tension, with the kind of heat that has nothing to do with the setting sun. Â
then youâre moving again, cleaning the wound with careful precision. your touch is gentle but sure, and he finds himself watching your face instead of what youâre doing. the way you bite your lip when you concentrate, leaving tiny indentations in the soft flesh. the way your lashes cast shadows on your cheeks. the way you hold your breath around blood like youâre trying not to breathe in the memories. Â
âthey took you young, didnât they?â he murmurs, and you flinch like heâs struck you. his voice is soft, almost gentle, and that makes it worse somehow. Â
âyou donât know shit about me.â your hands still for a moment, trembling against his skin before you force them to keep working. Â
âno,â he agrees, voice soft. his fingers twitch, wanting to touch your face, to smooth away the pain he can see etched there. âbut i know the look.â Â
you donât respond, just keep working. but he can see the tension in your shoulders, the way your movements have gone rigid. the way youâre holding yourself like you might shatter if he says the wrong thing. heâs hit close to home, and part of him wishes he hadnât. part of him wants to take it back, to let you keep your secrets and your walls. Â
but the other partâthe part thatâs always been too curious for his own goodâwants to dig deeper. wants to know what made you this way. what turned a girl who should be worried about dress patterns and sunday socials into someone who can patch a bullet wound without blinking. Â
âthere,â you say finally, taping down a strip of cloth with more force than necessary. your movements are sharp, efficient, but he can see the way your hands shake slightly. âtry not to get stabbed again before it heals.â Â
he hisses through his teeth at the tight binding, but heâs grinning. his eyes crinkle at the corners, and thereâs something almost fond in his expression. âyou enjoy hurting me, donât you?â Â
you step back, and thereâs something almost like a smirk playing at your lips. your arms cross over your chest, pushing his shirt taut against your curves. âa little.â Â
âif you were trying to kill me, sugar, you shouldâve aimed for the heart.â he pushes himself up from the chair, movements fluid despite the pain. heâs tall, broad-shouldered, and when he stands this close you have to tilt your head back to look at him. Â
âif i wanted your heart,â you shoot back, chin lifting in challenge, âiâd have to dig through a whole lot of ego first.â Â
he throws back his head and laughsâreally laughs, the sound rich and warm in the dusty air. his throat works, and you can see the way his chest moves with each breath. âchrist, youâre mean. i like that in a woman.â Â
âlucky me.â you turn away, but not before he catches the flush creeping up your neck, the way your breathing has gone shallow. Â
you finish cleaning up, fingers smudged with his blood, and step back like the sight of him disgusts you. it probably does. heâs shirtless and scarred and grinning like a fool, all sharp angles and dangerous promises. muscles shifting under skin thatâs marked with violence and time. but thereâs something in your eyes when you look at himâsomething that isnât quite hatred. Â
âdonât suppose youâre a good little housewife who makes dinner after a long day of stabbing,â he says, pushing himself up from the chair with a grunt. every muscle in his body protests, but he forces himself to move. weakness is invitation, and heâs not ready to show you any more of his throat than youâve already seen. Â
you scowl, but he catches the way your gaze drops to his chest, to the bandage wrapped around his ribs. âdonât suppose youâre the type who says thank you either.â Â
âthank you,â he parrots, drawing out the syllables with a smirk. the words taste strange on his tongue, foreign after years of taking care of himself. his head tilts, and those pale eyes study you with renewed interest. ânow shut up and eat.â Â
he saunters to the saddlebag by the door, muscles shifting under skin thatâs still damp with water and blood. his movements are deliberately casual, calculated to draw your attention. he can feel you watching him, and he makes sure to give you a good show. broad shoulders, narrow waist, the kind of confidence that comes from knowing youâre dangerous and not caring who knows it. Â
the canvas pouch hits the table with a soft thud, and he settles into the chair across from you. inside the bag: two strips of smoked jerky, a handful of stale crackers, dried apple slices, and a tin of beans thatâs probably older than you are. Â
âgourmet,â you say flatly, poking at the jerky with one finger. your nose wrinkles slightly, and he finds the expression endearing despite himself. Â
âbetter than whatever rot you were cooking with your friends in the woods.â he tears into his own piece with sharp canines, and you canât help but watch the way his jaw works. Â
you sit across from him at the rickety kitchen table, and heâs struck by how domestic it feels. no plates, no cutlery, just fingers and attitude and the kind of tension that makes the air thick as honey. he tears into the jerky with his teeth and watches you eat like itâs the most fascinating thing heâs ever seen.Â
âcareful,â he says, tone easy but eyes sharp. his fingers drum against the table, pale and long and stained with his own blood. âi counted whatâs in there. you pocket anything, iâll know.â Â
âyou counting how many times i sigh, too?â you chew deliberately, jaw working in a way that makes his mouth go dry. Â
âyeah. and so far, itâs insufferable.â his smile is all teeth and trouble, and he leans back in his chair like heâs never been more entertained. Â
you chew louder just to piss him off, and he smiles around a mouthful of cracker like heâs never been more entertained. this is what heâs been missingâsomeone who gives as good as they get. someone who doesnât flinch when he shows teeth. Â
âso,â he says, leaning back in his chair. his arms cross over his chest, and you can see the way the muscles in his forearms shift. âwhatâs your real name?â Â
âwhatâs it matter?â you mirror his position, and he doesnât miss the way the movement makes his shirt gape at your throat. Â
âmight be nice to know what to carve on your headstone.â his tone is conversational, but thereâs steel underneath. his eyes never leave your face, cataloging every micro-expression. Â
âoptimistic, arenât you?â you lean forward slightly, and he can smell the soap in your hair again. itâs maddening. Â
âiâm a planner.â his voice drops to a murmur, intimate despite the threat. Â
you snort, and the sound is almost fond. almost. your lips curve in what might be a smile if you werenât so determined to hate him. âyou plan on killing me?â Â
âhavenât decided yet. depends on how entertaining you are.â he tilts his head, studying you like a puzzle heâs trying to solve. âand so far, youâre exceeding expectations.â Â
âand if i bore you?â thereâs challenge in your voice, in the way you hold yourself. like youâre daring him to try. Â
âthen i guess weâll find out how deep the well out back really is.â but his tone is almost playful now, and thereâs something in his eyes that wasnât there before. something that looks dangerously like affection. Â
you should be scared. should be begging or bargaining or trying to run. instead, youâre sitting there eating his food and trading threats like itâs the most natural thing in the world. like youâre not afraid of him at all. Â
maybe you should be. Â
maybe he should be afraid of you. Â
the thought sends heat spiraling through his chest, and he has to look away. out the window, the sun is setting properly now, painting the sky in shades of violence and promise. soon itâll be dark, and then thereâll be nothing but you and him and the ghosts in these walls. Â
��finish up,â he says, pushing back from the table. his movements are fluid, controlled, but you can see the way he favors his injured side. âitâs getting late.â Â
âwhat, no dessert?â you lean back in your chair, and the movement makes his shirt ride up slightly. he notices. of course he notices. Â
âif youâre good, maybe iâll let you have some of the whiskey i found in mamaâs pantry.â his smile is sharp as broken glass, and his eyesâpale as frost, dangerous as winterânever leave your face. Â
âand if iâm bad?â your voice drops to a whisper, and thereâs something in your tone that makes his blood sing. something that sounds almost like invitation. Â
he grins, and itâs all teeth and trouble. his head tilts, predatory and pleased. âthen i guess weâll have to find other ways to entertain ourselves.â Â
you donât respond, just watch him with those clever eyes as he moves around the kitchen. heâs checking windows, making sure the latches are secure. his movements are purposeful, efficient, but you can see the way heâs favoring his injured side. the way he moves like a man whoâs been hurt before. making sure you canât slip out in the middle of the night and leave him bleeding in his motherâs house. Â
âyou donât trust me,â you observe, watching the way his shoulders move beneath scarred skin. Â
âwould you?â he glances over his shoulder, and his smile is sharp as a blade. thereâs something almost admiring in his expression, like he appreciates your honesty. Â
âprobably not.â you stand, and the movement makes his shirt shift around your thighs. he notices. he always notices. Â
âsmart girl.â the words are rough with approval, and he has to turn away before he does something stupid. like reach for you. like forget that you tried to kill him just hours ago. Â
he moves through the house with purpose, checking every possible exit. the window in the bathroomâlocked. the one in the room next to hisâlatched tight. the one in what will be your roomâsecured with a chair propped under the sill for good measure. Â
you follow him like a shadow, bare feet silent on the wooden floors. he can feel your presence behind him, warm and dangerous and entirely too distracting. when he lingers by your door, you glare at him from the bed like a hissing cat in a too-big shirt. your legs are curled under you, and he can see the way his shirt has ridden up to expose the curve of your thigh. Â
âif you lock me in,â you say, voice flat as a blade, âi will break a chair through that window.â your chin lifts in challenge, and thereâs fire in your eyes. promise and threat all rolled into one. Â
âjust keeping the wildlife out, sugar. and by wildlife, i mean you.â his voice is honey and steel, and he leans against the doorframe like he has all the time in the world. like heâs not fighting the urge to step closer, to see what youâd do if he did. Â
he informs you flatly, voice taking on that authoritative edge that brooks no argument: âyouâre in the room across from mine. donât bother trying the front doorâbarred it already. pumpâs out back if you need to wash that filthy mouth.â his eyes drop to your lips as he says it, and you can see the way his jaw clenches. Â
you bristle at the casual dismissal, at the way heâs arranging your life like youâre a doll in a dollhouse. your hands clench into fists, and he can see the way your breathing has gone shallow. âand if youâre thinking of running,â he continues, his voice dropping to a whisper, âjust rememberâi donât miss twice.â Â
your response is to slam the door in his face, hard enough to rattle the frame. but not before he sees the way you bite your lip, the way your eyes flash with something that might be excitement. he chuckles, low and pleased, and heads to his own room. the sound of your frustrated cursing follows him down the hall, and he finds himself grinning despite the exhaustion weighing down his bones. Â
his motherâs roomâhis room now, he supposesâis exactly as she left it. lace curtains and faded quilts, the smell of lavender and old roses. he strips off his boots and settles onto the bed with a grunt, every muscle in his body screaming for rest. the sheets are soft against his skin, and he can still smell your soap in his hair. Â
but he doesnât close his eyes. instead, he reaches for his revolver, checks the chambers, and places it within easy reach on the nightstand. old habits die hard, and heâs not about to let his guard down just because youâre pretty and wearing his shirt. Â
through the thin walls, he can hear you moving around. pacing, maybe. plotting, probably. the floorboards creak under your feet, and he finds himself mapping your movements. three steps to the window, pause, four steps to the door. back to the window. back to the door. he can picture you in his mindâbarefoot and furious, his shirt hanging loose around your thighs as you plan your next move. Â
youâre caged, and you know it. caged and furious and probably scared, though you hide it well. he should feel guilty about that. should feel something resembling remorse for taking your freedom, for making you a prisoner in his motherâs house. Â
but all he feels is anticipation. like the moment before a storm breaks, when the air goes electric and everything holds its breath. like the moment before a gunfight, when time slows and the world narrows to a single point of contact. Â
he stares at the ceiling, listening to your restless movements, and mutters: âwhat the hell have i brought into my motherâs house.â his voice is rough with exhaustion and something else. something that sounds dangerously like want. Â
but thereâs a smile tugging at his lips. because he knows damn well what heâs brought home. trouble. temptation. the kind of woman who stabs first and asks questions later. the kind of woman who wears his clothes like armor and looks at him like sheâs trying to decide if heâs worth the trouble. Â
and heâs never been more awake. Â
the house settles around them, full of shadows and secrets and the promise of tomorrow. somewhere in the distance, a coyote howls, and the sound makes him think of freedom and wild things and the way youâd looked at him when you thought he was going to die. Â
soon, heâll have to decide what to do with you. soon, heâll have to figure out if youâre worth the trouble youâll undoubtedly cause. Â
but not tonight. tonight, heâs content to listen to you pace and plan and probably curse his name. tonight, heâs content to drift between sleep and waking, one hand on his gun and the other pressed to his wounded side. Â
tonight, heâs home. and for the first time in months, that feels like something worth protecting.
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#gojo satoru#gojo x female reader#gojo smut#gojo fluff#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk series
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âlove me back?â â one

pairing â mark lee x reader
word count â 22.2k words
genre â angst, smut, fluff, strangers to lovers, forbidden love
synopsis â mark lee goes from being the quiet kid at the river court to the star basketball player on campus, reigniting old tensions with his brother, jeno. as jenoâs girlfriend, youâre pulled into the rivalry, but itâs mark who captivates you. his touch, his presenceâhe stirs something deep inside you that you canât shake. as the tension between the brothers grows, so does your forbidden connection with mark, forcing you to confront where your heartâand bodyâtruly belong.
chapter contents/warnings â college au, small town vibes, 2000s teen show vibes, this fic is heavily based on one tree hill, reader is in a relationship with jeno but itâs far from healthy or loving, depictions of lust and physical connection rather than emotional intimacy, slow burn with emotional (and sexual) tension between reader and mark, basketball is a heavy theme, mark being a key player, reader uses drugs and drinks to avoid facing her emotions, struggles with communication and vulnerability, messy dynamics with themes of abandonment and insecurity, escapism, toxic sibling rivalry between jeno and mark, oooh guys jeno is a jerk! bad boyfriend jeno, explicit sexual content involving rough and emotionally detached interactions with jeno, reader makes out with mark, soft mark, emo boy mark, confident mark, understated and hot mark, references to drug and alcohol use as coping mechanisms, swearing, explicit language and competitive sports tension.
[fic ml]
ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX | SEVEN
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The air in the room is thick and hazy, the low-hanging smoke curling in lazy spirals above your heads, seeping into the fabric of your clothes and the sheets. The bedside table is cluttered with half-empty bottlesâbeers, vodka mixersâand a vape pen with a fading light. The faint scent of weed lingers, clinging to the mess of discarded clothes on the floor. It should feel comforting, familiar, but it doesnât. Everything feels muted, dulled, like youâre watching your life from a distance, the numbness settling deeper with each passing second.
Jeno lies beside you, shirtless, his body warm against yours. Your head rests on his chest, where his heartbeat thuds unevenly, just as it always hasânever steady enough to soothe you, never grounding like you wanted it to be. Tonight, it feels even more erratic, like something inside him is pulling further away. Your fingers trace lazy circles over his skin, the motion slow, almost mechanical. Itâs a routine nowâthis closeness that never truly feels close.
Heâs quiet, too quiet, and it irritates you more than it should. You inhale sharply, the vape pen slipping between your lips before you exhale through your nose. Shifting closer, you press a kiss against his neck, letting your lips linger longer than usual, hoping heâll respond. But thereâs nothingânot a sigh, not a flicker of acknowledgment. Just the steady rise and fall of his chest, his mind somewhere far beyond the room. You pull away, frustrated, the weight of the past hour pressing down on you.
âJeno,â you murmur, your voice catching slightly, as if the words are stuck in your throat. Your lips linger near his jaw, hoping for a reaction, for something to pull him back to you. But all you feel is the faint twitch of his hand on your waist, a gesture that once held desire but now feels empty, mechanical. Itâs not what youâre looking for, not tonight.
You move again, this time more insistent, straddling his waist, your hands pressing against his chest, trying to ground yourselfâor maybe trying to ground him. You tilt his chin toward you, forcing his eyes to meet yours, but theyâre glassy, distant, reflecting the dull light of the lamp more than any real emotion. âAre you even here?â you ask, half-joking, but the frustration behind your words cuts through the haze in the air.
âYeah,â he mutters, but thereâs no conviction in his voice. His eyes flicker to the ceiling again, avoiding yours, like heâs searching for an answer there that he canât find in you.
You let out a sharp breath, your fingers tightening on his chest as you lean down, brushing your lips against his in a kiss thatâs supposed to feel familiar, intimate. But even then, his response is slow, almost hesitant, like heâs going through the motions, doing whatâs expected but feeling none of it.
Your heart sinks a little, and you pull back just enough to study his face, the way his jaw tenses and his gaze remains distant. The dim light casts long shadows across his features, making him look older, more worn down than he should. Something is eating at him, gnawing at the edges of whatever you have left between you.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â The words come out more accusatory than you intend, but the irritation bubbling inside you wonât let it rest. You both know what this isâitâs been like this for months now. Physical, surface-level. No connection. No real emotion. But tonight, it feels worse. Heavier.
He finally shifts beneath you, his fingers brushing against your hip, but thereâs no spark in the touch, no warmth. âItâs nothing,â he says, his voice thin, barely more than a whisper.
âYou always say that,â you mutter, the words bitter as they leave your mouth. You push yourself off of him, sitting at the edge of the bed, your hands in your lap as you glance over at the cluttered mess around you. Bottles, smoke, scattered clothes. Itâs all a blur. âIs this really what we are now? Me trying, and you always somewhere else?â
You run a hand through your hair, glancing over your shoulder at him. Jeno doesnât answer right away. He just rubs his face with his hand, his other arm falling limp beside him, like even the effort of responding is too much. âItâs just the game tomorrow,â he mumbles, but his words lack conviction.
âThe game?â You repeat, incredulous. You turn to face him fully now, your frustration spilling over. âYouâre thinking about basketball right now? Weâre here, and all you care about is some stupid game?â
Jeno sits up, finally breaking the contact between you. His hands are tight, clenched in the sheets as he avoids your gaze. âItâs not just the game,â he snaps, his voice sharper now, the edge of something deeper cutting through. âItâs Mark.â
The name lands heavier than you expect. Mark Lee. Jenoâs half-brother. The one he rarely mentions, the one who has always been at the edges of your awareness but youâve never had a reason to think about him. Youâve seen him around but only from a distance. He was never at the parties, never a part of the crowd Jeno ran with, always separate. always⌠distant. Markâs never really mattered to you. Until now.
âWhat about him?â You ask, your voice slower, more careful.
Jeno lets out a short, bitter laugh. âHeâs back,â he says, the frustration creeping into his voice.
âBack how?â You mumble, feeling the tension building. Mark had been around since you and Jeno were children but he had always been a part of the background, you never expected that to change.Â
Jeno shifts beside you, you watch his jaw clench, his fists tightening on the sheets. âBack into my life. Out of nowhere. Heâs on the team nowâjust showed up like he had something to prove, and Coach didnât waste a second. Benched me, gave him my spot.â The words are clipped, tight with barely concealed anger.
You sit there, trying to process it. Youâve seen him before, alone at the river court after hours, earbuds in, completely disconnected from the world you and Jeno are a part of. Calm, composed, like nothing touches him. It strikes you how different he is â how heâs always stood apart from Jenoâs chaos.Â
He pauses, jaw clenched, and you can feel the anger bubbling underneath, the years of resentment suddenly in the open. âMy dadâs losing it. He never wanted Mark around. Hated him from the beginningâheâs always seen him as the mistake, the one thing he canât stand to face. But now Markâs back, and itâs like this unspoken challenge. Like Markâs here to prove heâs better, or he can take everything thatâs mine.â
You shift uncomfortably, unsure how to respond to the intensity of his words. âJeno⌠Iâm sure itâs not that deep. Itâs literally just basketball.â
His gaze snaps to you, deadpan. Anger flickers in his expression, a tightness in his jaw that hadnât been there moments before. Youâve said the wrong thing. You can feel it. He looks at you like you donât get itâlike you donât understand him at all.
Thereâs something wild in his eyes now, something untamed. âItâs never just been basketball,â he says, voice sharp, frustration lacing every word. âHeâs always wanted everything I have. Heâs always been there, lurking. And now heâs coming for everythingâmy spot, my life.â He pauses, his voice dropping lower, quieter, almost as if heâs afraid to say it out loud. âAnd you.â
The words hang heavy in the air, sinking into the silence that stretches between you. You stare at him, stunned, trying to process what heâs just said. And you. A chill runs through you. For a moment, you donât know how to respond, how to make sense of what heâs implying.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Jeno pulls up to the river court erratically, tires skidding on the gravel as he parks. The way he movesâquick, aggressiveâmirrors the tension thatâs been building between him and Mark for days. Youâd rather be anywhere but here, surrounded by the weight of this impending showdown, but for Jeno, this is his element. He thrives in moments like these, where all eyes are on him, where the crowd fuels his need for attention and validation. Every glance, every whispered conversation from the sidelinesâJeno drinks it all in, the girls batting their eyes at him only adding to his confidence.
You feel the stares too. You and Jeno arenât just well-knownâyouâre desired. The kind of couple everyone talks about, whispers about behind your backs. People want to be you or be with you. Youâve seen the way their eyes follow you both, lingering a little too long, filled with envy and something darker. Itâs intoxicating, usually. But tonight, the attention feels heavier, more suffocating, like itâs pressing down on you, trapping you in this moment where everything feels like itâs about to break.
The river court itself is buzzing, the atmosphere charged with anticipation. The sky is a muted purple as dusk settles in, casting a hazy glow over the court. The river runs just beyond, the sound of water rushing in the background, a soft but constant reminder of the tension flowing through this moment. The court is cracked, worn from years of use, but it has a certain rawness to itâgritty, real. The streetlights flicker to life as people gather along the edges, their shadows long and looming over the pavement. Thereâs a strange energy in the air, a mix of excitement and unease, as more people file in. Jenoâs supporters are far bigger, louder, their voices filling the space. They want a show, and Jeno is ready to give it to them.
âWelcome to the river court showdown!â Lee Donghyuckâs voice cuts through the murmurs, playful and dramatic as he addresses the growing crowd. You donât know him wellâheâs Markâs best friend, always lingering in the background. His narration carries a light-hearted tone, but the way his eyes flick between Mark and Jeno makes it clear: this is personal. âLadies and gentlemen, the stakes are high, and you can feel the intensity in the air. Weâve got a battle of the brothers tonight. Mark Lee, our underdog, taking on the one and only Jeno Lee.â
Your gaze shifts to Jeno as he steps onto the court, confidence radiating from him as he bounces the basketball in his hands, his eyes scanning the crowd like a predator surveying his territory. Across from him, Mark stands still, calm. He doesnât thrive on the attention like Jeno doesâhe doesnât even seem to notice the crowd. His focus is entirely on the game, his eyes sharp, determined.
Donghyuckâs voice carries on, âIn one corner, we have Jenoâstar player, campus legend. And in the other, Markâcool, calm, and collected, with everything to lose.â Thereâs a hint of admiration in his tone when he talks about Mark, and you catch yourself paying closer attention to him too. Youâve never really noticed Mark before, but now, as he steps forward, thereâs something about the way he carries himself that draws you in. The quiet confidence, the determination in his eyes⌠itâs hard not to watch him.
The game starts fast. Jeno wastes no time, dribbling aggressively, his body coiled with energy, every movement sharp, intentional. Mark, on the other hand, is methodical, almost serene in the way he moves, his eyes never leaving the ball. Jeno talks trash as they play, his voice loud enough for the crowd to hear. âYou donât belong here, Mark. This isnât your world.â
Mark doesnât respond, his focus unwavering. You can see itâthe way his eyes track the ball, his calm under pressure. Heâs not here to prove anything to Jeno; heâs here for himself. Every shot Mark takes is calculated, precise. He moves with a fluidity that surprises you, and you catch yourself watching more intently than you expected, noticing the subtle shift in his posture, the way his eyes sharpen when he finds an opening. Thereâs something intimate in the way he plays, an art to his determination that makes it impossible not to be drawn in.
âAnd Mark with the shotâboom! Nothing but net!â Donghyuckâs voice is filled with excitement, and the crowd reacts with gasps. You can hear the surprise rippling through them. Jeno wasnât expecting this, and neither were they. âHeâs got game, ladies and gentlemen. Jeno might have his work cut out for him.â
Jenoâs frustration grows with each point Mark scores. You can see it in the way his movements become more frantic, more desperate to overpower Mark. But Mark doesnât falter. He doesnât need to respond to Jenoâs taunts, and doesn't need to engage in the mind games. His eyes are always on the prize, his determination unshakable.
As the game continues, itâs clear that Jeno underestimated his brother. Mark isnât just holding his ownâheâs thriving. Each basket he makes feels like a step out of the shadow Jeno has cast over him for so long. For Jeno, this is about dominance, about keeping Mark out of his world. But for Mark, itâs about more than that. Itâs about carving out his own place, about proving he can hold his own.
Jeno dribbles back, eyes narrowing as he pulls up from way beyond the three-point line, his body coiling with the kind of confidence that comes from years of dominance on the court. His movements are fluid, almost graceful as he rises to take the shot, the ball leaving his fingertips in a perfect arc. For a second, it looks like itâs going inâlike heâs about to remind everyone why heâs the best. But just as the ball reaches its peak, Mark appears out of nowhere, launching himself into the air, his arm extending at just the right angle to block it.Â
Donghyuck's voice bursts out in excitement, âJeno shoots⌠and misses!â he pauses, eyes wide with amazement, âholy crap, did you see that? Someday men will write stories about that block, children will be named after that block and Argentinian women will weep for it!â
The sound of the ball slapping against his hand echoes through the court, followed by the stunned gasps from the crowd. Jeno stumbles back, shock and disbelief flickering across his face as the ball ricochets away, the confidence heâd had only moments ago shattered.
âMark with the rebound. Heâs fast. Heâs focused.â Donghyuckâs playful tone turns serious as the game nears its end. The tension in the crowd is palpable, and you canât help but feel it too. But more than that, youâre watching Mark nowâreally watching him. The way he doesnât let anything distract him, the quiet intensity in his eyes as he takes his final shot. Thereâs something about him in this moment that feels⌠different. Itâs not an attraction, not yet, but a subtle curiosity. The way he moves, the determination etched into every stepâit draws you in, and you canât help but wonder what else lies beneath that calm exterior.
âAnd thatâs it! Mark Lee wins!â Donghyuck shouts as the crowd erupts, the shock clear on everyoneâs faces. Markâs friends swarm the court, cheering loudly, their celebration unrestrained. You watch them from the sidelines, a small, subtle smile pulling at your lips. You donât know why, but seeing Mark win⌠it makes you happy. Thereâs something about it that feels right, like youâve been waiting for this moment without even realising it. You havenât smiled like this in so long.
Jeno walks toward you, his face twisted in frustration and defeat. âItâs not a big deal,â you say quietly, trying to diffuse the tension.Â
Jeno laughs, though itâs not a sound filled with humour. âHeâs not gonna quit the team now. I lost the bet.â
You raise an eyebrow. âYou bet on it?â
Jenoâs face hardens, and the way he looks at you makes your heart skip a beat, but not in a good way. His silence is unsettling, and you can feel the shift in the air between you. âWhat did he bet if he won?â you ask, your voice quieter now, a sinking feeling creeping into your chest.
Jeno looks at you, his jaw tight. âYou. He bet that he gets you.â
The words hit you like a slap, the weight of them sinking in slowly. Youâre stunned, unsure how to feel. Part of you is angry at Jeno, furious that he would treat you like an object in some stupid rivalry. But another part of youâthe part that watched Mark play tonight, the part that saw something different in himâcanât shake the way you felt watching him on that court.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The drive back to Jenoâs house is suffocating, the silence hanging heavy in the air like a storm about to break. Youâve tried speaking, tried breaking through the wall heâs built around himself, but he just stares straight out of the window, his jaw clenched tight as if heâs grinding through every word he doesnât want to say. His silence grates on you, each passing second tightening the coil of frustration in your chest.
Finally, you snap, your voice cutting through the tense atmosphere like a blade. âWhy the fuck would you agree to let me get involved in any type of bet? Arenât you my boyfriend? Arenât you supposed to protect me?â
Jeno doesnât answer, doesnât even turn to look at you. His expression remains stony, detached, like youâre not even there. Itâs as if every emotion between you is locked behind that clenched jaw. The frustration inside you bubbles over, boiling under your skin as he pulls up to his apartment, the car jerking to a stop. Before you can say anything more, he throws the door open, slams it shut, and storms toward the house, leaving you sitting there, stunned.
You follow him, heart pounding, already knowing what youâre about to walk into. But it still hits harder than you expect when you push through the front door: another one of his fucking parties.
The bass from the music vibrates through the floor, the walls practically shaking from the force of it. The air inside is thickâsweat, alcohol, smokeâall mingling into a nauseating fog that clings to everything. Half the campus seems to be packed into the house, bodies pressed together, laughing, shouting, grinding. Itâs chaos. Itâs chaotic, a celebration party that was meant to mark Jenoâs victory but he lost. He didnât expect to lose so now heâs throwing himself into this mess, trying to forget how Mark beat him.
Jeno doesnât even glance your way as he strides straight into the centre of the party. The second he steps inside, the energy shifts. All eyes are on him. Girls bat their eyelashes, offering coy smiles and glances, waiting for him to notice. The guys are quick to slap him on the back, giving him their usual praise, eager to bask in the glow of his attention. He soaks it up, drinks it in like itâs the only thing keeping him afloat.
Without a second thought, heâs gone, swallowed by the crowd. You stand there, invisible, feeling like an afterthought. You watch as Jeno gravitates toward a group of girls, the kind youâve seen around beforeâthe ones who always seem to be in his orbit, looking for a chance to get close. They laugh at something he says, their hands grazing his arm, their gazes hungry. And Jeno, your supposed boyfriend, leans into it.
You watch as one of the girls, dressed in a tight, glittering dress, dances close to him, her body pressed against his as they move to the beat. Jenoâs hands rest on her waist for just a secondânothing more than a passing touch, but itâs enough to sting. Enough to make your stomach twist. She leans in to whisper something in his ear, and he smirks. Itâs a look youâve seen beforeânot necessarily malicious, just confident, like heâs always known how to handle this kind of attention. His eyes are a bit hazy, a mix of alcohol and the mood of the night, and he doesnât even glance in your direction.
The other girls join in, dancing around him, their bodies brushing against his as the music pulses through the room. Jeno doesnât move away, doesnât stop them, but heâs not exactly encouraging it either. He lets it happen, lets them touch him, lets the night sweep him up. You know itâs not about forgetting you, not about pushing boundariesâJenoâs always had this natural pull, the kind that draws people in without him even trying. But tonight, it feels different, harder to shake off, like heâs just letting the moment take him, unaware of how much itâs affecting you.
Your chest tightens, and you stand there, rooted in place. Itâs not like this is the first timeâJenoâs always been the guy who draws attention effortlessly, always the one people gravitate toward. But tonight, thereâs something sharper about it, something that feels a little too close. You know he loves you, but watching him in the middle of it all, surrounded by all these girls, it feels like youâre invisible for a moment. Like maybe, just maybe, heâs forgotten how much he means to you. But deep down, you know itâs just him getting caught up in the night, not in them.
You make your way upstairs, needing space, needing to breathe. The noise below feels like a weight pressing down on your chest, suffocating you. Jenoâs room is as much of a mess as the party downstairs, but itâs quieter at least. You go straight to his drawers, pulling out bottles of whatever alcohol you can find, downing shots without caring about the burn in your throat. Then itâs the drugsâwhatever pills and powders heâs stashed away. You donât think, you just take them. Anything to numb the anger, the frustration, the feeling of being trapped and ignored.
You grab your laptop from the desk and plug your phone into the speaker, blasting your own music. The party music below is lame, anyway. With the alcohol and drugs starting to take effect, you focus on your screen, your fingers flying across the keys as you work on your art assignment. You pull up the digital image youâve been editing for days, your eyes scanning the lines and colours as you tweak the lighting, adjust the shadowsâanything to keep your mind off Jeno, off the party, off everything.
An hour passes before Jeno stumbles into the room, high out of his mind. Heâs still reeking of sweat and alcohol, his shirt half-untucked, his eyes bloodshot. He glances at your screen, scoffing.
âWhat are you wasting your time on now?â
You bite your tongue, not wanting to start another fight, but the irritation flares up anyway. You keep your eyes on the screen, editing a tiny detail on the photo, hoping heâll leave. But he doesnât. Instead, he walks over and turns off the speaker, his smirk testing you.
âYou know nobody listens to this crap,â he says, challenging you with his gaze.
âWhy the fuck did you allow me to be bet on?â you snap, unable to hold back any longer. The question is sharp, bitter.
Jeno rolls his eyes and shrugs, as if itâs not worth discussing, as if it doesnât matter. His casual dismissal makes your blood boil.
âDonât fucking roll your eyes at me,â you seethe, standing up from the bed. âDonât give me attitude. Youâre the one throwing your lame parties and celebrating what? That your brother beat your lame ass today?â
Jeno shakes his head, irritated. âThatâs why I came here now,â he mutters, his words slurring slightly. âTo ask you if you wanna come party with us.â
ââUsâ?â you ask, folding your arms. âSo that means the guys and the girls youâre fucking around with? The ones you let grind all over you like you donât have a girlfriend standing right there?â
Jenoâs expression tightens, his jaw clenching as the accusation hits him. His eyes flash with frustration, but for a moment, you catch a flicker of guilt before he quickly masks it. His lips press into a thin line, his nostrils flaring slightly, as if heâs holding back from snapping. He sighs, exasperated. âAnd me.â
âAnd the guys,â you repeat, rolling your eyes.
âYou know what, Y/N,â he says, his tone shifting to frustration. âIâm getting really tired of this. I came here to spend time with you.â He points at you accusingly, his words biting.
âYeah, me and half the campus,â you shoot back, referring to the party downstairs.
He throws his hands up in defeat. âWhatever. You wanna be a bitch, thatâs cool. Just sit here and listen to your loser rock and Iâll see you tomorrow.â
Your heart pounds in your chest as you glare at him, your voice sharp as a knife. âHow about you donât see me tomorrow?â
Jenoâs face falters for a moment, and he looks at you, something softer trying to break through the haze of alcohol and frustration. âLook⌠Iâm sorry,â he mutters, his voice low. Itâs an apology, but it feels half-hearted, like heâs saying it because he knows he should, not because he means it.
You shake your head, ignoring him as you push past. The anger burns too hot, and his apology barely registers. You brush yourself past him, the touch brief but cold, leaving him standing there in the doorway, stunned and alone.
You breathe heavily, trying to calm the anger still simmering in your chest. Each inhale feels shaky, your body betraying just how rattled you are. Jenoâs words, his actions downstairs, the careless way he allowed those girls to hang on to him like you didnât matterâit all echoes in your mind. You need to escape, to get away from the suffocating weight of it all. With nothing else to do, you make your way downstairs, the pounding bass and shrill laughter filling the space like a cloud of smoke you canât shake.
Youâre halfway to the kitchen when a few of your friends spot you. Their faces light up, oblivious to the storm brewing inside you. They pull you into a conversation, their voices high-pitched and bubbly as they compliment your dress, touching your arm and admiring the way the tight black fabric clings to your curves.
âOh my god, that dress is insane on you!â one of them gushes, her eyes wide with admiration. âJeno is so luckyâŚâÂ
You smile, the kind of smile youâve perfectedâwide and warm, just enough to convince them youâre engaged. âThanks,â you reply, your voice light, pretending to match their energy. Itâs easy to slip into this act, to fake the excitement, the warmth. Youâve done it before. But inside, everything feels hollow, like thereâs a wall between you and the rest of the world.
As they chatter on about the party, about boys, you catch a glimpse of yourself in a nearby mirror. The dress is tight, black, hugging every inch of your body. The neckline plunges just enough to catch attention, the fabric pulling at all the right places. Your makeup is flawlessâlips painted a deep, sultry red, eyeshadow smoked out in a way that makes your eyes pop. To everyone else, you look like the life of the party, someone who belongs here. But looking at your own reflection, you feel detached, like youâre watching yourself from outside your body.
Youâre about to respond to one of your friends when something catches your eyeâsomeone. Your breath catches in your throat as you notice Mark Lee standing across the room. You freeze. Your friendsâ voices fade into the background, the party around you slipping away as your focus zeroes in on him. What the hell is he doing here?
Mark doesnât belong at parties like this. Itâs obvious in the way he stands, surrounded by people yet somehow separate, distant. Heâs smiling, his lips curved upward, but thereâs a casual awkwardness in the way he holds himself. His shoulders are tense, and he fidgets with his hands as if heâs not entirely comfortable with the attention.
You watch as a few girls, practically draped over him, giggle and bat their eyelashes, clearly trying to catch his eye. Markâs friends are laughing, slapping him on the back like theyâre celebrating something. You can tell his status is rising after his win today, and you canât help but roll your eyes at how quickly people are flocking to him. Itâs almost comical. Yet, unlike Jeno, Mark doesnât seem to bask in it. Heâs not soaking up the attention or feeding off it. Instead, he shifts awkwardly under their gazes, like the weight of it all makes him uneasy.
Thereâs something⌠different about him.
You find yourself studying the way his body language contrasts with the energy around him. Where Jeno would be centre stage, loving every second of the spotlight, Mark seems almost out of place, as if heâs trying to navigate a world that doesnât quite fit him. Itâs⌠endearing. His discomfort, the way heâs clearly not used to being the centre of attentionâit draws you in, makes you curious in a way you hadnât expected.
A small, quiet laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it. You canât help but find it amusing, how different he is from everyone else in the room. And just as quickly as you let yourself slip into that moment, his eyes meet yours.
For a split second, your heart stutters, and your breath catches. His gaze holds yours, steady and intense. You canât look away, even though every part of you wants to. Itâs as if the rest of the room melts away, the noise, the people, the partyâit all blurs into the background. Thereâs only him.
Markâs eyes are dark, deeper than youâd expect, and the tension between you feels thick, almost suffocating. His expression is unreadable, but thereâs something behind his stareâsomething that sends a jolt through you. Itâs unsettling how deep it cuts, like heâs seeing straight through you, into a place you didnât want anyone to go.
Your stomach twists, the feeling both terrifying and magnetic. You should look away, but you donât. You hold his gaze for longer than you should, and the tension between you builds with every second that passes. His stare is steady, unblinking, as if heâs waiting for something, as if heâs testing you. And the longer it goes on, the more you feel like something has shiftedâsomething subtle, something dangerous.
Finally, you tear your eyes away, your heart racing in your chest. You turn, your movements quick and sharp, almost desperate to break the connection. But the weight of his gaze lingers on you, even after you walk away, the tension hanging in the air long after the moment has passed. Something has shifted, and you can feel it deep in your bones.
You donât know what it is, but youâre certain of one thing: youâre not ready to face it yet.
You storm off, your heart pounding with a mix of frustration and betrayal, the thoughts of Jenoâs reckless behaviour and the bet swirling in your mind. Every step feels heavier, like the weight of everything thatâs happened is pressing down on your chest. The muffled noise of the party below fades into the background as you climb the stairs, heading straight for Jenoâs room. The air feels thick, the kind of tension that wraps around you and makes it hard to breathe.
He bet on you.
The thought keeps ringing in your mind, making your stomach churn. Itâs a hollow realisation, but one you canât shakeâlike every guy in your life somehow views you as a prize, something to win or lose. Your chest tightens with anger, but itâs not just aimed at Jeno. Itâs aimed at Mark too. He was part of it. Part of the game, the manipulation.Â
You reach Jenoâs room and shove the door open, needing the space, needing to breathe. The familiar smell of his cologne mixed with weed hits you. The room is a mess, clothes and empty bottles scattered everywhere, a chaotic reflection of everything wrong between you and him. You step inside, your hands trembling slightly as you try to make sense of everything swirling in your mind.
But before you can take a breath, you hear footsteps behind you.
Your heart skips, the sudden sound catching you off guard. You whip around, expecting Jeno, but instead, itâs Mark standing in the doorway. His expression unreadable, his hands tucked into his pockets like he doesnât quite know what to do with himself.
âHey,â Mark says, his voice soft but carrying through the tension in the room.
You stand in shock, your eyes narrowing in on him. The last person you want to see right now is Mark Lee, of all people. âWhat do you want? Why are you following me?â Your voice comes out harsher than you intend, but you donât care. The anger flares up, twisting in your chest. âWhy are you even in Jenoâs room? Do you want me to call him?â
Markâs expression shifts, his lips curling into a half-smirk that makes your blood boil. âYeah, you wonât do that.â he says, voice calm but biting. âBit of a weird relationship you guys have, huh? Youâre his girlfriend, but he spends the night flirting and touching other girls?â
His words hit harder than you expect, cutting deep. You swallow, trying to hold back the frustration bubbling inside you, but it spills over anyway. âYouâre not allowed to talk about my relationship,â you snap, stepping closer, the distance between you narrowing. âHow dare you⌠how dare you tell Jeno that you wanted me if you won the game earlier?â
Mark chuckles, the sound low and dry. âJust when I think Jeno couldnât be more of a jerk,â he mutters, shaking his head. âI changed my mind, alright? I agreed that if I won, Iâd quit the team. Did he bother telling you that, or did he just let you believe the worst?âÂ
You freeze, stunned. The weight of his words hangs heavy between you. âWhy would you⌠why would you want to quit the team?â
Markâs expression softens for a moment, the tension easing slightly from his posture. He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. âBecause Iâm tired of this,â he says, his voice quieter now, more genuine. âI donât want to be in Jenoâs world anymore, competing with him over every little thing. Basketball used to be fun for me, but not when itâs all about one-upping him. Itâs exhausting.â
You stare at him, processing the weight of what heâs just said. Heâs not just tired of the rivalryâheâs tired of everything that comes with it, the constant competition, the games, the need to prove something. Itâs so different from the way Jeno sees things.
You truthfully had no idea how intertwined Mark and Jenoâs lives had become recently. It feels strange, realising youâve been standing on the outside of something so tangled. Youâre meant to be Jenoâs girlfriend, yet youâve never seen this side of his lifeânot until today when he mentioned Mark while getting ready for their showdown at the river court. That was the first time he had ever really talked about his half-brother with you, and even then, it was brief, distant, like he was giving you only the surface.
And now here you are, standing with Mark, getting a glimpse into the mess that youâve somehow been pulled into without fully understanding it. Itâs like youâve been involved in their rivalry without even realising it, and yet you can see the toll itâs taken on Mark. The weariness in his voice, the way he talks about Jenoâitâs clear heâs already fed up. Heâs exhausted, but from your perspective, youâve only been witnessing it from the outside, catching pieces of a story you were never let into.
Youâre confused, not truly understanding the dynamics between Mark and Jeno or the tension in their family. Youâve met Jenoâs dad before, and it didnât take long to realise heâs an asshole. Controlling, dismissive, and always pushing Jeno toward somethingâwhether itâs basketball or his own toxic expectations. Now, hearing Markâs side of things, it makes sense why he wouldnât want to be associated with their dad or get sucked into Jenoâs world. Youâre not surprised Mark is tired of it all.
You notice the sadness lingering in his eyes, the exhaustion etched into his features, and it makes something twist in your chest. Itâs clear heâs been carrying the weight of this rivalry far longer than you realised. You donât fully understand the complexities between them, and a part of you wonders if you ever will.
You change the subject, not wanting to push him further into a conversation that clearly brings up so much for him.
âSo⌠you did bet on me at first,â you murmur, the anger still simmering beneath the surface. âWhy?â
Mark steps closer, and suddenly the air in the room feels different, heavier with a tension that has nothing to do with anger. His eyes lock on yours, and for a moment, you feel like heâs seeing right through you. âBecause Iâve always noticed you,â he says, his voice lower, more intimate. âThe way you laugh when you think no oneâs watching. The way you bite your lip when youâre lost in your own thoughts. The way you donât let anyone in, but you have so much more to give than what people see.â
The words send a jolt through you, leaving you speechless, flushed. You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. The room feels smaller, the tension between you thick and suffocating.
Just as quickly as heâs drawn you in, Mark shifts the conversation, breaking the intensity of the moment. His gaze drifts to the bedside table, where a stack of vinyl records sits. He curled an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips. âNo way Jeno listens to music this good,â he comments, his fingers brushing over the edge of a record. âOasis?â
You blink, the sudden change in tone catching you off guard. âHe doesnât,â you mumble, glancing at the records. âTheyâre mine.â
Markâs smile widens, genuine and warm. âDidnât think Jeno had that kind of taste. But you⌠this makes sense. Youâve got good taste.â
You shake your head slightly, still processing the shift in the conversation. Jeno always made fun of your music, always complained about how outdated and boring it was. But Mark⌠Mark seems to appreciate it.
He looks around the room again and spots your laptop, the digital art project youâve been working on still open on the screen. He steps closer, leaning over to get a better look. âThis⌠this is good,â he says, sounding almost impressed. âReally good.â
You brush off the compliment, shrugging. âItâs nothing, just something I mess around with.â
âNo,â Mark says firmly, turning to face you, his eyes serious. âYouâre talented. You need to take this seriously. Be proud of yourself for once.â
You blink, the unexpected praise catching you off guard. Jeno never really cared about your art. Whenever youâd show him a new project, heâd glance at it, offer a half-hearted âcool,â and move on to whatever was on his mind. But hearing it from Markâsomeone whoâs not even in your lifeâfeels different. It feels real.
You turn away slightly, suddenly feeling exposed. âItâs not a big deal,â you mumble, trying to dismiss it, but Mark doesnât let it go.
âIt is a big deal,â he insists, his voice soft but firm. âLook, I know Iâm a complete nobody to you, and I donât know everything about you, but I can tell that this⌠this is something you care about. Youâre good, really good, and you shouldnât brush that off.â
You swallow hard, his words sinking deeper than you expected. Thereâs something about the way heâs looking at you, like he sees more than what youâre used to showing people. Like heâs seeing the side of you that even Jeno never bothered to notice.
The tension between you shifts again, but this time itâs softer, quieter. You feel yourself calming down, the anger that had burned so hot before now fading into something elseâsomething you canât quite put your finger on. It feels like Mark is seeing you, really seeing you, and that makes your chest tighten in a way thatâs hard to ignore.
âWhy are you being so nice to me?â you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. The question slips out before you can stop it, and you feel vulnerable, like youâre revealing more than you want to.
Markâs gaze softens, and he steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours. âMaybe because someone should be,â he says quietly. âSomeone should tell you how good you are. How much you matter. How much you deserve more than what youâre settling for.â
The words hit you hard, and you find yourself struggling to breathe. Markâs standing so close now, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off him, and for a moment, you forget everything else. You forget about the party downstairs, the chaos with Jeno, the bet. All you can focus on is the way Mark is looking at you, the sincerity in his eyes.
You want to say something, anything, but the words are stuck in your throat. Thereâs a strange electricity in the air between you, like youâre standing on the edge of something dangerous and exciting all at once. Your mind is telling you to stop, to pull back, but your body doesnât move.
And then, before you can fully process whatâs happening, Mark reaches out, his fingers gently brushing against your arm. The touch is soft, tentative, but it sends a jolt through you.
âMarkâŚâ you murmur, unsure of what youâre even trying to say.
But heâs already pulling his hand back, stepping away just enough to give you space, the intensity of the moment easing. He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a small laugh, but itâs not out of amusementâitâs out of the tension thatâs still lingering between you both.
âIâm sorry,â he says, his voice low. âI didnât mean to make things weird. I just⌠I donât know, I felt like you needed to hear that.â
You stand there, your heart racing, and for a second, you donât know how to respond. Everything feels charged, like youâre balancing on a knifeâs edge. You know you shouldnât feel anything like this. Heâs Jenoâs brother, after all, and this is already messy enough. But the way Mark looks at you, the way he speaks to youâit feels different. Different from Jeno. Different from anyone.
âI should go,â you finally say, the words shaky and unconvincing.
But before you can make a move, Mark stops you again, his voice soft but commanding. âWait.â
You turn back, meeting his eyes again, and the tension that had briefly eased floods back, stronger than ever. He looks at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable, but his eyesâhis eyes are full of something you canât quite place.
âWhy are you with him?â Mark asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
The question catches you off guard. You open your mouth to respond, but no words come out. Because deep down, youâre not sure you know the answer anymore. The connection you once had with Jeno feels distant, hollow, like itâs slipping through your fingers the more you try to hold on.
Mark takes a step closer, and you feel your breath hitch in your throat. His presence is overwhelming, and for the first time tonight, you feel truly seen. Not as Jenoâs girlfriend, not as someone whoâs part of the chaosâbut as yourself.
âBecause,â you start, your voice shaky. âItâs easier than admitting that maybe weâre not right for each other. Itâs easier than dealing with everything thatâs falling apart.â
Markâs eyes soften, and for a moment, he looks like he understands you in a way no one else has. He doesnât push you for more, doesnât make you feel guilty for your honesty. He just listens, and that feels like something youâve been missing for a long time.
Thereâs a long silence between you, but itâs not uncomfortable. Itâs heavy, charged with all the things youâre both not saying, but also filled with a strange sense of calm.
And then, Markâs voice breaks through the quiet.
âYou deserve better than âeasy,ââ he says softly, and his words sink deep into your chest, stirring something youâve been trying to ignore for too long.
The room feels smaller, the air between you buzzing with something electric. For the first time, you wonder if maybe Markâs right. Maybe you do deserve better. Maybe âeasyâ isnât enough anymore.
And just like that, everything between you shifts again.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The next morning is a blur of regret and a pounding headache, the hangover hitting you harder than usual. You drag yourself out of bed, thoughts of last night swirling in your mind. Mark. You canât stop thinking about him, the way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you. Itâs unsettling how much it affected you, how easily he got under your skin. Youâd never noticed him before, never cared to, but now⌠now itâs different.
He looked right into you, saw things no one else had ever bothered to. That scared you. How could he do that in just one conversation? Itâs unsettling how easily he got under your skin. Youâd always been in control of how people saw youâpolished, popular, the girl everyone wanted to be. But Mark⌠he saw past all of that. And you hated that. You couldnât allow it.
As you walk through campus, your usual routine kicks in. The stares, the whispersâthey follow you like they always do. Youâre well-known, well-liked, and thatâs how itâs supposed to be. You slip back into that role easily, the confident girl everyone looks up to, the one they envy or want to be. But today, it feels different, like somethingâs off. Like you are off. The mask you wear is starting to slip.Â
You push open the heavy doors to the stadium, the noise of squeaking sneakers and the thud of basketballs filling the air. The gym is mostly empty except for the cheer squad and the basketball team, both deep into practice for the big away game this weekend. The space is vast, the polished wood floor stretching out in front of you, the high ceilings making the place feel both overwhelming and hollow.
Karina, your best friend, is standing in the middle of the court, already in full drill-sergeant mode. Sheâs wearing the same cheer outfit as youâtiny, sultry, and sexy. The short skirt clings to her hips, barely covering her thighs, and the tight top shows off just enough skin to turn heads. Her long black hair is tied back into a sleek ponytail, and her dark eyes flash with intensity as she barks orders at the other girls. Karinaâs passionate, sometimes too much so, running practices like boot camp. Youâve known her forever, and while she thrives on drama, partying, and popularity, sheâs a good person underneath all that chaos. Sheâs just someone who loves living on the edge and always ends up in trouble.
âYouâre late,â Karina snaps when she sees you, her voice sharp. She rolls her eyes dramatically and gestures for you to start warming up. âIf youâre not gonna take this seriously, donât even bother showing up.â
You give her a half-hearted shrug, too hungover and distracted to care. âI overslept,â you mutter, pulling your hair into a ponytail and adjusting the skirt of your cheer uniform. The fabric clings to your skin, the skirt short enough to leave little to the imagination. You stretch, trying to ignore the lingering headache and the thoughts of Mark that refuse to leave your mind.
Karina goes back to yelling at the other girls, demanding perfection in the routine, and you start practising alongside them. The others around you are gossiping, their voices filled with excitement as they gush over the basketball playersâhow hot they look in their uniforms, who hooked up with who, and which guy is the best in bed. You block them out, going through the motions of the routine as if on autopilot.
But then, you feel it again. That familiar, heavy gaze. You lift your head, and your heart skips when you see him.
Mark.
Heâs across the court, dribbling a basketball with effortless ease, but his eyes are on you. Heâs wearing the teamâs uniform tank top, his last name, âLee,â boldly printed on the back. The sleeveless jersey hugs his broad shoulders, showing off his muscular arms, the definition of his biceps catching your eye. It fits him wellâtoo well. The fabric clings to his torso, outlining the muscles beneath, and you curse yourself for noticing.
What a fucking liar. Didnât he say he was quitting the team? So why was he here now, practising like nothing had changed?
Mark dribbles closer, and as he moves past you, you canât stop yourself from striking up the question thatâs been bugging you. âI thought you quit,â you say, your voice sharp with accusation.
He pauses, turning to you, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. âI did,â he replies smoothly. âBut I realised something this morningâthis court is where I belong. No oneâs gonna stop me from being here. Not Jeno. Not anyone.â
His words are like a challenge, and it makes something in your chest tighten. He stands there, his eyes locked on yours, daring you to say something more. You narrow your gaze, trying to keep the frustration from bubbling over. His presence was throwing you off balance, making you question things you didnât want to face.
Mark doesnât seem fazed by your silence. In fact, he starts talking again, asking about cheer practice, making small talk like nothingâs wrong. But you canât let yourself engage. You give him blunt, clipped responses, barely meeting his gaze. You canât afford to let him break through your walls again. Not in front of Karina and the other girls.
He huffs, his voice carrying a teasing edge. âWhy the hell are you a cheerleader anyway? Youâre the least cheery person I know.â
Before you can answer, you notice the other cheerleaders staring, their eyes flicking between you and Mark. Some of themâthe same girls who were flirting with him at the partyâare watching closely, whispering to each other, their expressions curious. You feel exposed under their gaze, like they can see right through you, like they know somethingâs happened between you and Mark even though that was far from the reality.Â
You force yourself to act indifferent, cold. You put up the walls youâre so good at building, the ones that keep people from seeing the real you. But Markâs not fooled. He sees through it, and it only makes him more determined. His gaze lingers, and you can feel the weight of it even as you turn away, trying to focus on the routine.
The tension between you is subtle, a quiet current that hums beneath the surface. You donât know him well enough for it to be anything more, but thereâs something about the way Mark watches youâcalm, measured, like heâs trying to figure you out. Itâs unsettling how easily he manages to chip away at the front youâve put up, the one you use to keep everyone at a distance. He doesnât push, doesnât challenge you outright, but his presence is enough to make you feel exposed in a way youâre not used to.
What bothers you the most is how Mark seems to notice things others donât, like heâs already picking up on pieces of you that you barely acknowledge yourself. He doesnât say much, but the way he looks at youâsteady, unflinchingâfeels like heâs seeing past the version of you that everyone else accepts without question. Itâs not that heâs right, exactly, but the fact that he might be makes you uneasy.
Mark catches you stealing small glances at him as the practice goes on. You falter in your movements just enough for him to notice, and each time you feel his eyes on you, your skin prickles with awareness. Itâs infuriating, reallyâthe way heâs always watching, like heâs waiting for you to crack. And whatâs worse, you canât stop yourself from glancing back.
You refocus, forcing your attention on Karina, whoâs still barking orders at the squad, her long black hair swaying with every step. Sheâs relentless, her intensity dialled up to eleven. âCome on, Y/N,â she snaps, clapping her hands. âYouâre half-assing it today. Get your head in the game!â
Karinaâs passion for cheer is unmatched. She runs these practices like military drills, pushing everyone to their limits. Itâs part of why sheâs cheer captain, part of why the girls respect her, but itâs also why they gossip about how extra she is behind her back. But you know that her heart is in the right place. She loves this life. The drama, the popularity, the excitement of being at the centre of it all.
The cheer team lines up for the final drill, a complicated pyramid. As you climb into position, you catch Mark watching again, this time closer than before. Heâs dribbling lazily nearby, as if heâs waiting for an excuse to talk to you. Your stomach twists, frustration and something else swirling in your gut. You turn away, focusing on the balance, ignoring him.
But as practice winds down, and youâre stretching by the edge of the court, you feel his shadow fall over you. Heâs closer now, leaning against the wall, the basketball spinning lazily in his hand. You canât ignore him any longer.
âI thought you were serious about quitting,â you mutter, not looking at him, your fingers digging into your muscles as you stretch.
Mark doesnât answer right away, his silence speaking volumes. When he finally does, his voice is low, laced with that teasing tone he always seems to have around you. âI was. But sometimes plans change.â His eyes are locked on yours, and you hate how steady his gaze is, how it makes you feel like heâs peeling away your defences one layer at a time.
You scoff, rolling your shoulders back as you stand. âYou and Jeno are going to kill each other. Whatâs the point?â
Markâs eyes flicker, his jaw tightening for a brief second before his usual calm mask returns. âMaybe. Or maybe this is the only way to settle things between us.â
Youâre taken aback by the intensity in his voice, but you donât show it. Instead, you shrug, grabbing your water bottle and taking a long drink. âWhatever. Just donât drag me into it.â
Mark steps closer, and you freeze, the air between you thick with unspoken tension. âYouâre already in it,â he says, his voice dropping to a near whisper. âWhether you want to be or not.â
You blink, trying to process what Mark means. Of course, youâre involvedâyouâre Jenoâs girlfriend, after all. But thereâs something in the way Mark says it, something that feels deeper than just the rivalry between him and his brother. Heâs looking at you like he knows something you donât, like he sees the storm brewing before you even realise itâs there.
You open your mouth to respond, but before you can say anything, the doors to the court open with a loud bang, the sound echoing across the gym.
All eyes instinctively glance toward the entrance as Jeno strides in, exuding the kind of confidence that makes it seem like he owns the place. Thereâs an effortless swagger in his step, the kind that turns heads, drawing attention without even trying.
Heâs late, but he doesnât look like someone whoâs been through a rough night. His hair, though slightly tousled, is styled in that perfect, careless way that still manages to look deliberate. His basketball jersey clings to his broad shoulders, the material showcasing the lean muscles of his arms as it moves with every step he takes. His name âLee,â is plastered boldly across his back. His skin glows with a faint sheen, his body radiating a kind of heat that makes youâdespite everythingâtake notice.
Coach Suhâs voice booms across the court, cutting through the tension. âLee Jeno! Youâre late! Get your ass over hereâthis isnât a damn joke.â
Jeno just shakes his head, a smirk pulling at his lips as he runs a hand through his messy hair. The sound of his laugh echoes through the gym, but itâs empty, lacking its usual charm. Instead of walking toward the rest of the team, he strides toward you and Mark, his gaze flicking between the two of you.
His expression is tight, frustration radiating off him, but itâs not just about being late. The way his eyes fix on Mark makes your stomach clenchâthis wouldnât end well.
âSo,â Jeno drawls, his voice low and laced with bitterness, ânot only do you want my life, my spot on the team, but you also want my girl?â
The words hang heavy in the air, his accusation sharp. Mark doesnât move, his eyes narrowing as he watches Jeno, his calm exterior refusing to crack.
Your heart pounds in your chest, panic rising as you feel the tension between them ramping up like a ticking time bomb about to explode. You can see it in Jenoâs postureâthe way his fists clench, the way heâs getting ready to square up and the way his jaw tightensâheâs not going to let this go easily.
You step in quickly, hoping to defuse the situation before it spirals out of control. âJeno, letâs just go, yeah?â you say softly, stepping closer to him. You put your arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to you, hoping your touch will calm him down. âWeâll skip practice and hang out like we used to before. Please, letâs just leave.â
For a moment, Jeno doesnât move, his gaze still locked on Mark, but then he turns to you, his features softening just slightly. He leans in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, âBaby, Iâm sorry about yesterday. I shouldnât have done that.â
You swallow, the tension in the air heavy, but you nod, wanting to end this. âItâs okay,â you whisper back. âLetâs just move on, okay?â
Jeno pulls back, his smirk returning as he glances at Mark one last time before turning fully to you. He speaks loud enough for Mark to hear, completely ignoring his brotherâs presence. âIâll pick you up later, yeah? We havenât fucked in so long. Iâll make sure you have a better time than last night.â
You freeze, his words making your skin prickle. Itâs meant to sound playful, teasing, but thereâs an edge to itâsomething bitter and insecure. You can sense it in the way heâs trying too hard, covering his unease with cocky charm.
But youâre horny, above everything else, you really want cock. His cock.
âOkay,â you smile, leaning up to kiss Jeno softly, the warmth of his lips against yours a temporary distraction. Still, you canât shake the feeling of Markâs eyes burning into you from across the court, watching the whole interaction unfold.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The gym was alive with the roaring of the crowd, the heavy pounding of feet against the polished hardwood echoing through the space. It was the big away game, the one everyone had been talking about for weeks. You stood with the rest of the cheer team, pom-poms in hand, cheering and supporting the boys. The energy was electric, the entire stadium buzzing with anticipation. You could feel the excitement coursing through the air, a mix of tension and adrenaline that had everyone on edge.
The crowd was packed, faces blurred together, and their cheers were deafening. The thud of basketballs against the court, the squeak of sneakers, You glanced around, spotting Karina, who was already screaming her head off, hyping up the team and the crowd, her long black hair bouncing with every movement. She was intense, as always. The bright cheer uniforms only added to the energy, and despite the tension in the air, you couldnât deny how it all came together. You loved being part of the noise, even if you felt disconnected at times.
Your eyes were naturally drawn to the court, where the basketball players were in full motion. Mark was everywhereâsprinting down the court, dribbling the ball, his focus intense. He was confident, fully immersed in the game, his movements fluid and controlled. It was hard not to notice how good he was, how easily he fit into the rhythm of the team despite everything that had happened. He belonged there, and it was becoming more obvious with every passing second. The crowd roared when he made another shot, and you could see the respect from his teammates growing, even from the coach, whoâd been unsure about Markâs return at first.
Youâve crossed paths with Mark more than ever lately. Now that heâs back on the team, itâs like you canât escape him. Every practice, every game, heâs there. At first, you tried not to think much of it. You were with Jeno, after all. But thereâs something about Mark that draws your attention, whether you want to admit it or not. Something in the way he moves on the court, the quiet confidence he carries with him, a calmness that contrasts with Jenoâs intensity.
The tension between them is palpable. Jeno had always been the star of the team, the one everyone looked to. But ever since Mark returned, thatâs been changing. Mark was gaining attentionânot just from the coach but from the teammates too. He was good. Really good. And every time Mark made a clean shot, a perfect pass, it only seemed to stoke the frustration in Jenoâs eyes.
Jeno was playing tonight, just not in his usual position. And it was clear that something was off. Every time he had the ball, he hesitated, glancing toward Mark before passing to someone else. He was purposefully ignoring his brother, and you could see the frustration building. Mark was calling for the ball, his voice cutting through the chaos. âCome on, man! Pass the ball!â Mark shouted, motioning for the pass.
Jeno ignores him, pushing forward and taking the shot himself. Itâs a miss, and the other team grabs the rebound. Markâs hands clenched into fists at his sides, his eyes locked on Jeno, frustration simmering just beneath the surface.
The tension keeps building, and you feel it, feel it in the way Jeno glares at Mark during the timeout, feel it in the way Mark brushes past him, his shoulders stiff with barely contained anger. Itâs only a matter of time before something snaps.
And then it does.
In the final quarter, with the clock winding down, Jeno gets the ball again. He dribbles down the court, and Mark is wide open, calling for it. The crowd yells for Jeno to pass, but he doesnât. Instead, he goes for a three-pointer, and the ball bounces off the rim. Markâs face tightens in frustration, and as soon as the play stops, he storms over to Jeno.
âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â Mark demands, shoving Jenoâs shoulder. âYou had to prove something by missing a shot you knew you couldnât make?â
Jenoâs eyes flash with anger as he pushes Mark back, his jaw clenched tight. âYou think Iâm gonna let you take my place? You donât get it, Mark. This was my team before you showed up, and itâll be my team long after you leave.â
Mark doesnât back down. He steps closer, his voice calm but cold. âYou donât own this team, Jeno. Stop acting like Iâm here to take everything from you.â
Jeno scoffs, his voice rising, the frustration boiling over. âThatâs exactly what youâre doing! You want everything I haveâmy spot on the court, my life, my girlââ He stops short, his eyes darting to you for a split second before he looks back at Mark. âYou want whatâs mine, and youâre not getting it.â
Markâs jaw clenches, and before anyone can react, Jeno takes a swing. The punch catches Mark in the chest, but Mark doesnât fall back. Instead, he lunges forward, shoving Jeno hard enough to send him stumbling back. The crowd gasps as the tension explodes, and the game halts as the two brothers start throwing punches.
Itâs chaos. Theyâre grappling, shoving each other, fists flying as they tumble to the ground. Teammates rush in to pull them apart, but the damage is done. The anger, the resentmentâitâs all out in the open now.
âIs that what this is about?â Mark growls, his voice low as heâs dragged back by a teammate. âYouâre scared Iâll take everything you think is yours?â
Jeno spits, his eyes burning with rage as he shrugs off the hands holding him back. âYou think youâre so much better than me, donât you? Just because you walked back into my life and everyone suddenly loves you. But youâre nothing, Mark. Youâve always been nothing.â
The words sting, and you can see it in Markâs eyes. Thereâs hurt beneath the anger, hurt that Jenoâs words have dug up, but he doesnât let it show. Instead, he straightens, his chest heaving with effort as he holds Jenoâs gaze. âI never wanted to take anything from you, Jeno,â Mark says quietly, but the weight behind his words hits hard. âI just wanted a chance to be something without having to live in your shadow.â
Jeno doesnât respond. He just glares, his fists still clenched, and itâs clear that, despite everything, heâs not ready to let go of his anger.
You watch from the sidelines, your heart racing. The fight, the words theyâre throwing at each otherâitâs like youâre watching years of tension unfold right in front of you. And though you know you should be on Jenoâs side, your heart twists when you see the way Mark looks, the way heâs trying to hold himself together while everything falls apart around him.
Jeno looks at you, expecting you to come to his side, to back him up like you always have. But you canât. Not this time. Not when you can see the pain in Markâs eyes, the vulnerability heâs trying so hard to hide. You hesitate, your mind racing with everything thatâs happened, torn between the loyalty you owe to Jeno and the empathy you feel for Mark.
Before you can think too much, you find yourself stepping forward, your voice soft but clear. âJeno⌠maybe itâs time to let this go.â
Jenoâs eyes snap to you, his expression shifting from anger to disbelief. âWhat? Youâre taking his side now?â
âIâm not taking sides,â you say quietly, but the look in Jenoâs eyes tells you he doesnât believe that. âI just think this has gone too far. Both of you need to stop before it gets worse.â
Mark stands there, silent but watching you, his gaze steady, like heâs waiting to see what youâll do next. And for a moment, you catch the flicker of something in his eyesâgratitude, maybe, or understanding. Itâs brief, but itâs there.
Jeno lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. âOf course. Of course, youâd side with him.â
You swallow hard, feeling the weight of Jenoâs words, but before you can respond, the coach steps in, finally ending the fight and calling off the game.
As the crowd disperses and the players start to leave the court, you find yourself standing in the middle of it all, your heart heavy with everything thatâs happened. Jeno storms off without another word, and Mark lingers for a moment, his eyes meeting yours once more before he turns and walks away. Jenoâs jaw was clenched, fists still balled as he stormed off the court. He didnât look at you, not even once. Not after the fight started and not when he walked away, the tension radiating off him in waves.
You waited outside the locker room, hoping things would cool off, but Jeno was waiting for you. The moment your eyes met his, you knew this wasnât going to be just another argument. There was something different in his gazeâsomething deeper, angrier.
âYou let him get to you,â you said, your voice tinged with frustration as you stood before him, trying to keep your own emotions in check.
Jenoâs expression darkened, his jaw tightening as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. âYou think this is just about him getting on my nerves?â His voice was sharp, filled with a bitterness that made your stomach twist. âItâs never been that simple. He keeps trying to edge me out. First, he steps onto the court, taking my place there, and nowâŚâ
He paused, the weight of his words heavy in the air. When his eyes finally met yours, there was something raw in his gaze, something that made your chest tighten.
âAnd now it feels like heâs trying to take you too,â Jeno muttered, the accusation hanging between you like a loaded gun.
The shock hit you like a wave, leaving you speechless for a moment. âWhat? What are you even saying?â you stammered, though the crack in your voice betrayed the strength you were trying to summon. Your heart raced, and your hands trembled slightly at your sides.
Jenoâs frustration boiled over as he stepped closer, the intensity in his eyes almost too much to bear. âIâm not blind, Y/N. I see it. The way things have changed between us⌠The way you look at him when you think no oneâs watching. Youâve been different, distant. You think I havenât noticed?â His voice was laced with something that felt like betrayal, something that cut deep even before you could fully process what he was accusing you of.
âYouâre wrong,â you whispered, but even as the words left your mouth, they felt hollow.
âAm I?â He scoffed, stepping closer until there was barely any space left between you.Â
The lump in your throat made it hard to speak, the tears already threatening to spill over. âIâve been trying, Jeno. Iââ
âTrying?â he cut you off, his voice harsh and biting. âThis is you trying? Because from where Iâm standing, it feels like youâre slipping away from me. Youâre slipping away, Y/N, and itâs because of him. Admit it.â
The tears finally broke free, sliding down your cheeks before you could stop them. It was too muchâthe accusations, the anger, the way he looked at you like he didnât recognize you anymore. âI canât do this,â you murmured, shaking your head, your voice barely holding together. âIâm trying, but youââ
Without waiting for his response, you turned and bolted, your feet moving before your mind could catch up. The sounds of the gymâshouts, sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, the dull thud of the basketballâfaded behind you as you disappeared into the dimly lit hallways. The air was colder here, the emptiness wrapping around you like a shroud. But it couldnât stop the sobs from rising in your throat, harsh and relentless, each one cutting deeper than the last.
You couldnât remember the last time you cried. Not like this. Not the kind of tears that felt like they were tearing you apart from the inside out, like theyâd been building for years, waiting for this very moment to break free.
Your chest heaved, your breaths ragged and uneven as you stumbled into a dark corner, sliding down against the cool wall. The hallway was silent, save for the sound of your sobs echoing back at you. You felt so raw, so exposed, like every layer of protection youâd built over the years had been stripped away in an instant. Vulnerability wasnât something you allowed yourself to feel oftenâmaybe everâbut here you were, unable to stop it.
Tears blurred your vision, and you pressed your hands to your face, trying to muffle the sound of your cries. But it was no use. The emotions had taken hold, refusing to let go. The anger, the hurt, the fear of everything unravelingâit was too much.
For so long, you had kept it all together, every crack patched up with a smile or a dismissive shrug. But this time⌠this time you couldnât. You couldnât stop the flood. And it terrified you because you didnât know what came next. What was left when all the masks came off, when the facade youâd worked so hard to maintain finally crumbled?
You donât know how long youâd been sitting there, curled up on the cold bench in one of the quieter hallways, your face buried in your hands as sobs wracked your body. Time felt like it had lost meaning, and you were too exhausted to care.
But when you heard soft footsteps approaching, you didnât move. You didnât have the energy. A familiar presence settled next to you. You felt it before you saw him, the warmth of his body close to yours, the quiet concern that radiated from him.
âY/N,â Markâs voice was soft, almost tentative. He crouched in front of you, his face level with yours, his eyes filled with concern. âAre you okay?â
The question felt absurd, considering the mess you were in, but something about the way he asked itâso gently, so genuinelyâcaught you off guard. He wasnât demanding answers, wasnât prying. He just wanted to be there.
âIâm fine,â you mumbled, trying to brush him off, but your voice cracked, betraying you. Your hands trembled as you wiped at your eyes, trying to pull yourself together, but it was no use. You couldnât hold it in anymore.
Mark didnât push. Instead, he quietly sat beside you, the weight of his presence comforting in its simplicity. He didnât say anything, didnât try to fill the silence with empty words. He just stayed there, his quiet strength offering more support than youâd realized you needed.
And then, before you knew it, you were crying again. Harder this time. The tears came in waves, overwhelming and unstoppable, and you felt yourself crumbling under the weight of everything youâd been holding in.
Without a word, Mark wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest in a gesture so simple, yet so needed. He held you close, one hand gently rubbing your back as the other rested on your shoulder. It wasnât forceful or overwhelmingâit was soft, steady, like he was offering you a safe space to break down.
âItâs okay,â he murmured, his voice soothing, steady. âYou donât have to hold it in.â
His words were like a lifeline, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to let go. To stop pretending, stop fighting. You buried your face in his shoulder, your sobs muffled against his chest as the tears flowed freely.
Mark held you through it all, his presence grounding you, making you feel like maybe, just maybe, you werenât alone in this. He didnât say muchâjust whispered reassurances when the sobs became too much, his hand continuing its slow, comforting motion on your back.
When your sobs finally began to subside, you pulled back slightly, your eyes puffy and red, your breath still shaky. You met his gaze, and for the first time, you didnât feel the need to hide.
He wasnât judging you. He wasnât expecting you to be strong or put together. He just⌠saw you. The real you. The vulnerable, broken, messy you.
âThank you,â you whispered, your voice barely audible, thick with emotion.
Markâs gaze softened, his hand still resting gently on your back. âYou donât have to thank me,â he said quietly. âYou donât have to go through anything alone. You deserve betterâ
His words hit you harder than you expected, and for a moment, you didnât know how to respond. There was something in his voice, something in the way he looked at you, that made you believe him. Made you feel like, for the first time in a long time, someone saw you for who you really wereâand didnât turn away.
You nodded, your throat tight, and Mark gave you a small, understanding smile, his hand lingering for just a moment longer before he pulled back, giving you space to breathe.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The next few weeks passed in a blur of practices, games, and strained silence. You and Jeno had settled into a routine of avoidanceâevery fight left more scars, and neither of you seemed to know how to bridge the growing gap. Every interaction felt heavy, filled with unspoken words and bubbling frustration that neither of you could release. Even the once-effortless sexual connection between you had started to lose its spark, leaving behind a dull ache in its place.
But the only constant, ironically, was Mark.
But you tried to hide it because Jeno was beginning to suspect something. You denied all accusations. Maybe you were just acting petty, trying to make a point and prove Jeno that he was wrong even though you knew he was right. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because you were scaredâscared to open up to Mark, scared to admit that the feelings stirring inside you werenât as simple as you wanted them to be.
You told yourself it didnât mean anythingâthat your stolen glances, the way you lingered a bit longer than you should during practices, was just harmless. But deep down, you knew better. Something was growing between you two, an unspoken pull that had you circling each other in quiet tension.
Today, it all came to a head during practice.
You moved through the stretches with fluid precision, your body bending and arching with every calculated motion. The gym lights flickered overhead, casting a golden hue on your skin as you twisted and turned, giving the cheerleaders around you a preview of the sultry moves you had perfected. Each stretch felt like a deliberate invitation, especially when you bent low, ass pushing out, skirt rising just high enough to leave little to the imagination. The hem of your cheerleading skirt barely brushed the tops of your thighs, teasing the smooth expanse of your skin as you moved.
Your body felt alive, the beat of the music in the background fueling the slow, rhythmic sway of your hips. You could feel the stretch in your thighs, the way the muscles tensed and released as you shifted your weight from one leg to the other, the fabric of your skirt rising dangerously high with each movement. Your arms lifted above your head, drawing attention to the curve of your waist, the way the tight cheer top clung to your chest, accentuating every dip and curve.
You knew eyes were on you. You felt it.
But one set of eyes burned hotter than the rest.
Markâs gaze was a constant, heavy presence, dragging over every inch of your body as you moved. He wasnât trying to hide it. No, he wasnât even subtle. Every time you bent low or did a quick flip of your hair, his eyes were right there, drinking in the sight of your ass, the bare stretch of your thighs. His gaze was intense, following the rise and fall of your body as though he was committing every detail to memory.
Your skirt rose a little higher as you shifted into a new move, a slut drop, your thighs tightening as you lowered your body, giving him an even better view. You felt the air against your skin, the way the heat of the gym mingled with the cool brush of fabric as it rode up higher with each deliberate movement. It made you feel powerful. Sexy. You were showing off, and you knew it.
Markâs reaction was immediate. His jaw tightened as he watched, his fingers gripping the basketball tighter than necessary, veins bulging along his forearm. The way his eyes roamed over you, dark with want, made a shiver run down your spine. He didnât blink, didnât even bother pretending to focus on the practice drills.
Instead, he was laser-focused on you.
You caught his gaze as you straightened up, standing tall with a cocky smirk tugging at your lips. His eyes stayed glued to you, a hungry look darkening his features. You felt a thrill rush through you, knowing you had his full attention, knowing he was checking you out in front of everyone. Your body burned under the weight of his stare, heat pooling low in your belly. It was addictive, the way he looked at you like he wanted to devour you right there in the middle of the gym.
You could feel Jenoâs eyes on you too, burning with barely concealed jealousy as he watched the unspoken tension pass between you and Mark. But you didnât stop. You didnât care. The power you felt from knowing Mark couldnât keep his eyes off you only fueled you more. The harder Jeno stared, the deeper you sank into your movements, stretching further, leaning into the seductive rhythm of the routine.
And then it happenedâMark, distracted, let the basketball slip from his grip. The sound of it bouncing toward you pulled you from your trance just in time to see it come flying in your direction. You barely had time to react, the ball missing you by mere inches, the whoosh of air sending your hair flying.
The entire gym fell silent.
All eyes were on you now, the attention turning from curious whispers to outright gawking. The cheerleaders stopped mid-practice, their gazes shifting from you to Mark, wondering what the hell was going on. The basketball team paused, a few muttered chuckles floating through the air as the ball rolled to a stop at your feet.
Mark was still staring, his eyes now filled with something darker, more heated than before. The moment felt charged, the tension between you two palpable, hanging thick in the air. You could feel the weight of everyoneâs gaze, their confusion, their curiosity. But none of that mattered. All you could think about was the way Mark was looking at youâlike he was undressing you with his eyes, like he couldnât get enough.
You huffed, breaking the silence with a sarcastic snort. âNice arms,â you quipped, crossing your arms over your chest as you tried to shake off the tension.
Mark didnât smile, didnât laugh. Instead, he leaned closer, his voice dropping low enough that only you could hear it, his gaze burning into yours with a quiet intensity. âNice ass,â he murmured, his voice dripping with something dangerous, something that sent a pulse of heat straight to your core.
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the air between you two thickening with a different kind of tension. You could feel the flush rising in your cheeks, the way your body responded to the boldness of his statement, to the low rasp of his voice. Your throat tightened, and for a split second, you forgot where you were, forgot that the entire gym was watching, that Jenoâs eyes were on you, burning with fury.
You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead, you stood there, locked in Markâs gaze, the heat between you almost suffocating. It was subtle, so subtle that no one else in the gym could pick up on the charged moment passing between you two. But you felt it. You knew it. And from the way Markâs eyes stayed on yours, dark and hungry, you knew he felt it too.
The whispers around you grew louder, and you could feel the cheerleaders and basketball players glancing at each other, sensing the tension but not quite understanding it. But the look on Jenoâs face said it all. His jaw was clenched, his eyes narrowed with a mix of anger and suspicion as he watched the two of you, his body tense with barely concealed rage.
You could feel the weight of Jenoâs stare as he marched toward you, his presence heavy and commanding. âLetâs go,â he snapped, grabbing your arm, his grip firm as he pulled you toward him, his frustration barely hidden beneath the surface. He didnât even glance at Mark, but you could feel the seething anger radiating off him in waves.
Markâs eyes didnât waver. He watched as Jeno led you away, his gaze steady, like he was daring you to say something, to do something. But you didnât. You couldnât. The air between you and Mark was thick with tension, the kind that lingered even as you walked away, Jenoâs grip tightening on your arm as if to remind you of where you were supposed to be.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Itâs late, and your apartment smells faintly of the popcorn Karina had insisted on making. Your legs are lazily draped across her lap as she scrolls through her phone. A few of the other girls are scattered around the roomâWinter, Ryujin, and Ningningâchatting animatedly, their voices buzzing like static. Youâre not particularly invested in the conversation, but youâre here anyway. You couldnât avoid it. Itâs part of the routine.
The girls gossip about the usualâboys, parties, and whoâs been hooking up with whom. But tonight, thereâs a different energy in the room. They all have questions about what had happened earlier, and you can feel their curious stares burning into you.
âWhat was that about?â Winter is the first to ask, raising an eyebrow in your direction.
You shrug, feigning nonchalance. You know exactly what sheâs referring to, but you donât really know how to answer. To you, it was nothing. Of course, Mark would make a comment like that. You looked hot today, and heâd noticed. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.
Winter presses on, unwilling to let it go. âYou canât tell me it was nothing, especially after seeing how Jeno dragged you out? I wonder what happened after that.â
You glance at her and sigh, deciding to give her the raw, unfiltered truth. âNothing,â you start, watching their eyes light up in anticipation. âAt first, Jeno was mad, pissed even. But then I sucked his cock, and he fucked me against one of the lockers in the guysâ changing rooms.â You pause for effect, wiggling your eyebrows as you finish, âHeâs definitely forgiven me.â
The girls burst into giggles, some of them clapping like youâve just given them a piece of juicy gossip theyâd been dying to hear. They choose to ignore the toxicity of it all, the fact that you and Jeno had been using sex as a band-aid for your issues for weeks now. You and Jeno barely talked anymore. Every argument, every moment of tension, was resolved with a quick fuck rather than any real conversation. But you donât say that part. You leave that truth buried beneath the surface.
âSo⌠Y/N, would it annoy you if I made a move on Mark?â Karinaâs voice cuts through the laughter, sharp and filled with a hint of vindication as she looks at you from the corner of her eye.
You canât help the way your face tightens, annoyance flashing across your expression before you can force it back down. You plaster on a smile, lying through gritted teeth. âNo, why would it?â
Karina leans back, raising a perfectly arched brow as if she doesnât believe you for a second. âJust seems like thereâs something going on between you and Mark. Heâs been staring at you non-stop lately.â
âJust seems like you and Mark have nothing in common,â you bite back, the words spilling out before you can stop them. âI donât know why youâre suddenly interested in him now. Is it because heâs gotten more popular?â
Karina doesnât flinch at your retort. Instead, she gives you a slow, deliberate smile. âMaybe,â she says, her voice cool, like sheâs playing a game she knows sheâll win. âOr maybe itâs because I think heâs cute. And honestly? Iâd love to take his virginity.â
Your chest tightens, a wave of something uncomfortable rippling through you. You werenât expecting that. âTake his virginity?â you repeat, trying to keep your voice steady, but you canât hide the slight edge in your tone.
Karina doesnât miss it. She leans in, her eyes gleaming with mischief. âYeah. Iâve been thinking about it a lot lately. You know, how fun itâd be to corrupt him. Break him in a little. Heâs so⌠quiet. I bet heâs just waiting for someone to show him how itâs done.â Her voice dips lower, more seductive. âImagine his hands on you, not knowing what to do at first, but learning⌠fast.â
The other girls are eating it up, hanging onto every word Karina says. They laugh and nod along, and Winter even adds a low whistle.
âGirlsâŚâ Winter chimes in, her tone playful. âI donât think heâs a virgin. Itâs always the quiet ones with the big cocks who know exactly what theyâre doing.â She sighs dramatically, leaning back into the couch, adding a moan for effect. âI bet he knows how to use it too.â
You roll your eyes. âNo, heâs definitely a virgin. I can tell.â
The room fills with chatter as the girls go back and forth, arguing over whether Mark is as inexperienced as you claim or secretly a sex god in disguise. The conversation takes on a life of its own, filled with explicit fantasies and wild speculation.
âHonestly, thereâs a rumor going around that heâs fucking Giselle,â Ryujin adds, her tone more serious, like sheâs spilling some kind of secret.
âGiselle?â Ningning scoffs. âPlease. Sheâll fuck anyone with a cock.â
âMaybe thatâs why heâs been so chill lately,â Winter says, laughing. âHeâs getting laid!â
The conversation feels like itâs spiraling, the air heavy with innuendo and teasing, and you canât help but feel a flicker of irritation beneath the surface. Youâre trying to laugh along with them, trying to ignore the way your stomach twists at the thought of Mark with someone else.
But the truth is, you donât really know what to feel. Youâve been keeping your distance from Mark, trying to navigate your mess of a relationship with Jeno, but thereâs something undeniable growing between you and Mark. Something you canât quite put your finger on.
Karina leans in closer, her voice low. âCome on, Y/N,â she says, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. âYou canât tell me youâve never thought about it. About what itâd be like with him.â
You glance around the room, the girls all watching you expectantly, and for a moment, you feel cornered. The weight of their expectations pressing down on you.
You shrug, trying to play it off. âLike I said, heâs probably a virgin. Nothing to think about.â
âVirgin or not,â she says, her lips curling into a smirk, âheâs still hot. And honestly, I think the quiet ones are always the best in bed. All that pent-up energyâŚâ She trails off, her voice laced with suggestion as she winks at Winter, who giggles.
You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the sudden heat rising in your chest. The last thing you want is to picture Mark like thatâespecially not with Karina talking about him like heâs some kind of conquest. But the image creeps in, unbidden, and you quickly push it away.
âAnyways, I heard Jenoâs gonna invite him to his party this weekend,â Karina continues, her voice light and casual, but you can hear the underlying excitement. âI think Iâll make my move then.â
You groan, slapping your hand against your forehead. âWhy is he inviting him?â you mutter under your breath. This wouldnât end wellâyou could already see it.
Karina shrugs, her smirk widening as she leans back against the couch. âShouldnât you know? Arenât you his girlfriend?â Thereâs a teasing edge to her voice, and it grates on your nerves, making your blood simmer just beneath the surface.
You clench your jaw, shaking your head as you try to ignore her, but the annoyance is creeping in, settling deep in your bones. You donât want to think about Jeno, about Mark, about whatever mess you were tangled up in between them. And you definitely donât want to think about Karina making a move on Mark at Jenoâs party.
âYeah, well,â you mutter, standing up from the couch, âIâve got bigger things to worry about than your little plan.â You cross the room and grab your phone from the coffee table, feeling the girlsâ eyes on you the entire time.
Winter giggles softly behind you, her voice sing-song as she chimes in, âCome on, Y/N. Weâre just messing with you. No need to get all worked up.â
You turn, giving them a forced smile, but the tension in your body refuses to dissipate. âIâm not worked up. Just⌠tired.â
Karinaâs eyes linger on you for a moment longer, her smirk still in place. âSure,â she says slowly, like she knows more than sheâs letting on. âTired. Right.â
You let out a small sigh, knowing thereâs no point in arguing with her. She thrives on thisâthe drama, the teasing, the tension. She always has. But right now, all you want is some space to clear your head.
You head toward the door, your phone clutched tightly in your hand. âIâll catch you guys later,â you call over your shoulder, already halfway out the door.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The music thumped through the walls of the house as you stood at the front door, adjusting your mini black skirt that barely covered anything. It was tight, short, and see-through, leaving little to the imagination. The lace thong you wore underneath was clearly visible if someone looked hard enough, and you had no doubt that people would be looking tonight. Paired with heels, your favorite jewelry, and a form-fitting top that highlighted every curve, you were dressed to kill.
Jeno opened the door, his expression softening into a smile as he took you in. His eyes roamed over your body, lingering on the skirt, and you felt the heat already building between you two. He pulled you in for a kiss, his lips warm against yours as his hand slid down to rest on the small of your back, his fingers brushing against the exposed skin. The promise of what would happen later was clear in his touch.
âHey, baby,â he murmured against your lips before pulling away to greet Karina and Winter behind you with a hug and a quick nod.
His eyes were back on you immediately, dark and filled with lust as they traced the lines of your daring outfit. You smiled giddily at him, excited for the night ahead. You already knew how the night would endâtangled in sheets with his body on top of yours, all heat and passion. It was the one thing you both were still good at, even when everything else seemed to be falling apart.
The party was already in full swing, the bass vibrating through the floors as the scent of alcohol and smoke filled the air. The lights were low, casting the room in a warm, golden glow, with people sprawled across the couches and dancing in the center of the living room. Laughter, music, and the clinking of glasses created a chaotic but comfortable atmosphere. You could feel the buzz of energy around you as you stepped further into the house, bodies pressed together as the night unfolded. You were already excited for the night, already anticipating the way things would go later with Jeno. The fire in his eyes told you everything you needed to knowâtonight would be intense.
But then you noticed Mark.
He was across the room, dressed casually in jeans and a simple white t-shirt, but somehow he stood out more than anyone else. His presence seemed to fill the space around him, and your eyes found his before you even realized it. He wasnât hiding the way he was looking at you either. His gaze trailed over your body, lingering on your legs, your hips, the tight skirt that hugged your every curve. There was something deliberate in the way he looked at you, and it made your heart skip a beat.
You huffed, quickly looking away, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened. What were you doing? You were here with Jeno, after all. But when you turned back, you saw Jeno walking toward Mark, and your heart sank. You were ready for things to blow up, expecting another confrontation, but to your surprise, Jeno greeted him with a nod and an indifferent expression. At least they werenât killing each other.
Just as you were about to relax, you saw that Mark wasnât alone. A girl stood beside himâsomeone you didnât recognize. She was quiet, her eyes wide as she glanced nervously around the room, like she wasnât used to this kind of environment. There was something shy about her, something that made you uneasy for reasons you couldnât explain.
Jeno greeted her too, his smile a bit too bright as he introduced himself. âIâm Jeno, nice to meet you.â
The girl smiled shyly and introduced herself, but there was something elseâa quick, knowing look exchanged between her and Jeno. It was subtle, but you caught it, and it sent a strange jolt of unease through you. What was that about?
Shaking your head, you turned toward the kitchen, needing a drink to calm your nerves. You grabbed a bottle of vodka, pouring yourself a shot and knocking it back quickly. Then another. You didnât stop until the burn settled into your veins, dulling the edge of whatever was eating away at you.
Just as you set the bottle down, you felt the air shiftâthe unmistakable presence of Mark sliding in beside you, close enough that the warmth of his body brushed against yours. His voice cut through the noise, low and teasing, carrying that familiar edge that always seemed to pull your attention.Â
âTaking it a bit far tonight, arenât we?â You turned your head slightly, catching the smirk playing at the corner of his lips. His eyes, dark and sharp, flickered between the empty shot glasses and then back to your face.
You rolled your eyes, feeling a familiar mix of irritation and something elseâsomething that made your heart beat a little faster. âWhat do you care?â you shot back, but there was no bite in your voice. The warmth from the alcohol was already settling into your veins, and maybe that was why you felt more relaxed around him. Or maybe it was just him.
Mark leaned in closer, his arm brushing against yours as he rested his hand on the counter beside you. His scentâclean, warm, with a hint of something that made you want to lean inâfilled the small space between you. âJust looking out for you,â he said, his voice casual, but the glint in his eyes told you there was more to it, lingering for a beat longer than necessary before returning to your eyes. It was subtle, but enough to send a small shiver down your spine. You swallowed, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest as you glanced back at him, raising an eyebrow.
âLooking out for me?â you echoed, your voice carrying a hint of sarcasm, masking the way his presence was making you feel things you werenât ready to admit. âIs that what weâre calling it now?â
âWhy donât you look out for your date?â you shot back, your voice betraying more jealousy than you intended.
Mark chuckled, the sound low and smooth, his attention fully on you. âSheâs not my date,â he said, his voice casual but his eyes locked on yours.
You swallowed hard, caught off guard by how disarming he could be. âWho is she, anyway?â you asked, trying to sound indifferent, though the question lodged itself in your throat.
Mark glanced over his shoulder, nodding toward the girl heâd walked in with. âMy best friend.â
You blinked, surprised by how easily he said it. You had assumed⌠well, something else entirely. âOh,â you murmured, unsure how to respond.
Mark grinned, clearly enjoying your reaction. âWhat? Did you think Iâd bring a date to a party knowing youâd be here?â
You felt the heat creeping up your neck, but you quickly masked it with a small smile. âI didnât think about it that much.â
âSure you didnât,â Mark said, his voice dipping lower as his gaze flicked down to your lips, then back up to your eyes, sending a shiver through you.
The air between you felt charged, every unspoken word and lingering glance thick with an intensity neither of you was willing to name. The tension simmered quietly beneath the surface, weaving itself into the playful banter, the stolen glances. You both danced around it, staying in this delicate balance, where each smile, each teasing remark was a way to keep things lightâyet everything about the moment felt intimate, personal. Neither of you dared to break the fragile line between what was said and what was truly felt.
But before you could say anything else, you felt a hand on your waistâJeno.
You gasped softly, your mouth widening in surprise as you realized he had been watching you and Mark the whole time. His eyes were calm, surprisingly calm, but there was something underneath itâsomething you couldnât quite place. You smiled brightly at Jeno, hoping to diffuse whatever tension was building. âHey, baby. Do you want to dance?â you asked, your voice laced with forced cheer.
He shook his head, his expression soft yet serious. âY/N, can we talk?â
You blinked, caught off guard by how gentle he was being. Jeno wasnât usually like thisâcalm, collected. This was new. Maybe this was it, the turning point youâd been waiting for.Â
âYeah, sure,â you said, following him as he led you upstairs to his room. Your heart pounded in your chest as Mark watched you go, his gaze heavy, but you didnât turn back. You couldnât.
Once inside Jenoâs room, you wasted no time, slipping your top over your head, your mind already racing toward what usually came next. You turned to him, expecting to see him ready to go, but instead, he sat at the edge of the bed, head lowered, fingers gripping his knees. His expression wasnât what you were used toâstormy, tense. He wasnât undressing. He wasnât even looking at you.
Confused, you moved closer, kneeling in front of him. Your hands reached for his belt instinctively, trying to pull him out of his mood the way you always did. âJeno, come on,â you murmured softly. âLet me suck you off. Iâll make you forget whateverâs on your mind.â
But instead of the usual eager response, his hand gently covered yours, stopping you. He shook his head, his voice quieter than youâd ever heard it. âY/N, not tonight.â
You paused, your hands frozen mid-movement. âJeno?â
He looked up at you, his eyes filled with something you couldnât quite decipher. âSit down, Y/N.â His voice was soft, but firm as he gently pushed your hands away, motioning for you to sit beside him. âWe need to talk.â
Jeno ran his hand through his hair again, the tension in his posture evident. His gaze softened as he looked at you, the weight of his words settling between you both. âWe need to stop, Y/N. Stop pretending weâre a compatible couple.â
You froze, your breath catching in your throat. âWhat are you talking about?â you whispered, though deep down, you knew exactly what he meant.
Jeno sighed, his voice thick with emotion. âYou know itâs not working anymore. You feel it just as much as I do.â His eyes met yours, and for the first time in a long time, you saw the depth of his sadness. âWeâve been together for so long, but itâs not enough. It hasnât been for a while.â
Tears immediately welled in your eyes as you shook your head, refusing to accept it. âBut weâve been together forever. Weâre supposed to be together, Jeno. What do you mean itâs not enough?â
Jenoâs expression was full of regret, but his resolve didnât waver. âI know it feels that way, but think about it. How many days have we really been happy lately? Itâs just fights, making up through sex, and pretending everythingâs fine. But itâs not. We both know that.â
You swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. You didnât want to admit he was right. âI donât want to lose you,â you whispered, your voice barely audible. âI canât. I donât know how to⌠I donât know how to be without you.â
Jeno leaned forward, taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. âYouâre not going to lose me,â he said softly. âYou still have me, okay? I still love you, and I always will. But we both deserve more than this. We deserve to be with someone who makes us happy, not just someone weâve been with because itâs comfortable.â
The tears youâd been holding back finally spilled over, and you let out a shaky breath, your chest tightening. You hated how much his words resonated with you. You hated that he was right. But what scared you more was facing the truth, admitting that your relationship with Jeno was broken, that it had been for a while.
âI canât do this,â you choked out, your voice thick with emotion. âIâd rather just⌠Iâd rather keep pretending. I canât face the truth, Jeno. I donât know how.â
His eyes softened even more, filled with understanding. âYou donât have to pretend anymore. You donât have to lie to yourself, Y/N. Itâs okay to admit that things are messed up. Itâs okay to be scared.â
But that was the problem. You werenât good at facing the truth, at being vulnerable. Emotional intimacy terrified you, and youâd spent so long hiding behind the idea that everything was fine, that you could just patch things up with sex and avoid the hard conversations. Being honest, being realâthat was something youâd never been good at. Youâd rather live in the illusion than face the mess underneath.
Jeno seemed to sense your hesitation, your fear. He gently pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you as the sobs finally wracked your body. âIâm here,â he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. âIâm not leaving you. Youâll always have me, but this⌠this relationship, itâs not good for either of us. And it hasnât been for a long time.â
You clung to him, your fingers gripping his shirt as if he was the only thing keeping you afloat. The thought of not being with him terrified you more than you could admit. âI donât want to be alone,â you whispered, the words broken between sobs. âI donât know how to do this.â
âYouâre not alone,â he murmured into your hair. âIâll always be here for you. But we canât keep doing this, pretending weâre happy when weâre not. Itâs not fair to either of us.â
His words were like a dagger to your heart, twisting painfully because deep down, you knew he was right. But the truth was too heavy, too overwhelming. Youâd spent so long avoiding it, pretending that everything was okay, that hearing it now felt like your world was crumbling.
âI still love you,â Jeno said, his voice steady despite the emotion in it. âI love you, but we need to stop hurting each other like this.â
You pulled back slightly, your tear-filled eyes meeting his. The sincerity in his gaze made it hurt even more. âBut what do I do without you?â you whispered, your voice trembling. âI donât know who I am without you, Jeno.â
He reached up, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks. âYouâll figure it out. And Iâll still be here, even if weâre not together like we used to be. Youâre stronger than you think.â
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you leaned back into him, unable to fully let go. You didnât want this. You didnât want to admit that everything was falling apart. But Jeno was rightâyou were holding on to something that had died a long time ago, and the thought of letting go felt like losing a part of yourself.
For a long time, he just held you as you cried, his arms the only comfort you had left. But eventually, even that had to end. Jeno stood up, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before stepping back.
âIâm gonna go,â he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. âTake some time for yourself. Youâll be okay, Y/N.â
You didnât say anything, your throat too tight with the weight of everything. You just nodded, tears still falling as you watched him leave the room, his presence fading with each step. And as the door closed behind him, you felt the crushing weight of reality settle in, the silence echoing in your chest where your heart had been breaking all along.
You were alone. And for the first time, you couldnât hide from the truth anymore.
Later that night, Mark finds you huddled on the ground, your knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped tightly around yourself, trying to hold it all in, but youâre failing. Your body shakes with sobs that you canât control, and when you hear footsteps approaching, you tense up.
âMark, now is not the time, please go away.â Your voice cracks as you cry out, lips trembling. You cover your face with your hands, not wanting him to see you like this, broken and vulnerable.
But Mark doesnât leave. He doesnât even hesitate. He gets closer, kneeling down beside you. The quiet rustle of fabric is the only sound, and you shiver as he drapes his jacket around your shoulders. Itâs warm, and it smells like himâfresh and clean, grounding you in a way you didnât expect.
âJeno told me to come,â he explains softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
You look up, confusion flooding your tear-streaked face. âWhat?â The question falls out, barely coherent, as you swipe at your face, painfully aware of how horrible you must lookâmascara smudged, makeup streaked, and eyes puffy.
Mark doesnât answer with words. Instead, he moves even closer, and before you know it, heâs pulling you into him, gently guiding you onto his lap. You donât resist. His arms wrap around you, and you straddle him, your body sinking into his warmth as if itâs the only safe place you can find.
The sobs come harder now, uncontrollable, and you bury your face in his shoulder, clutching onto him like a lifeline. He holds you tight, one hand smoothing down your back, the other resting against your hair, cradling you like something fragile. His soft whispers, the way he gently hushes you, the quiet âitâs okay, Iâm here,â all create this bubble around the two of you, making the world fade away for a moment.
Markâs presence doesnât fix anything, but it makes you feel less alone. Thereâs no judgment in his touch, no expectation. He lets you cry, lets you fall apart in his arms, and thatâs what breaks you even more. Youâve been holding it in for so long, pretending everything was fine, pretending you were fine.
You donât know how long youâve been like this, pressed close to him, when he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. âWhat happened?â
You suck in a breath, pulling back just slightly, though your forehead still rests against his. Your voice is small, fragile. âHe broke up with me.â
Markâs expression softens, his lips parting as he lets out a quiet âOh.â Thereâs no surprise in his voice, only understanding, only compassion. He doesnât try to fill the silence with meaningless words. Instead, his hand finds its way into your hair, gently smoothing it down, his touch so careful, as if heâs afraid to hurt you more than you already are.
He doesnât ask for details, doesnât push you to talk more. He just holds you, his chest rising and falling steadily beneath you, offering you a calm in the midst of your storm. His fingers stroke through your hair, and his other arm is firm around your waist, keeping you anchored to him as you cry quietly into his neck.
And somehow, in the quiet of his embrace, with his soft breaths brushing against your skin, the weight of everything doesnât feel quite as suffocating. The pain is still there, sharp and unrelenting, but Markâs presence makes it bearable. He makes you feel seen, heard, like itâs okay to not have it all together.
For the first time in what feels like forever, you let yourself feel. You let yourself break. And Mark is there to catch every piece of you, holding you together when you canât do it yourself.
The silence between you feels intimate, not awkward. Itâs comforting, the kind of silence that says more than words ever could. His arms stay wrapped around you, and for now, thatâs all you need. You just let him hold you.
âMark,â you whisper, your voice shaky, barely audible as you shift closer to him. Your thighs press against his, caging him in. You bite your bottom lip, feeling the tension crackle between you, and notice his subtle groan as his hips press up slightly.
âYeah?â he responds casually, though his voice is rougher, his restraint evident.
âYouâre hard,â you mumble, your tone matching his, casual, as though stating a simple fact. The firmness presses against you, unyielding, hot even through the layers of fabric between you. The heat of him radiates into your skin, the outline unmistakable as it pushes against your thigh. Your words hang in the air, blending with the warmth that rises between you, making the closeness more intimate than it should be, despite the simplicity of the moment. The feeling is undeniable, solid and real, as though the space between you is shrinking with every breath.
Mark shifts slightly under you, groaning low in his throat. He doesnât try to deny it. âYeah, I am,â he says, his voice deeper now, gravelly. He lets out a slow breath before adding, âItâs because youâreââ
But before he can finish, you crash your lips against his, silencing him with a kiss so intense it feels like youâve both been waiting for this moment forever. Already straddling his lap, you press yourself closer, your thighs locking around him tighter, your body molding against his. Your fingers curl into his hair, pulling him into you as if youâre afraid to let go.
Mark responds instantly, his mouth moving against yours with a passion that catches you off guard. His hands slide down to your thighs, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he pulls you even closer. The kiss is messy, intenseâtongues tangling, soft moans escaping between your lips as the heat between you grows unbearable.
Your hips move of their own accord, grinding down on him, and you feel the hardness pressing against your core, making your breath hitch. His hands roam up your thighs, sliding under your skirt, pushing the flimsy fabric up higher until itâs barely covering you. He grabs your ass, squeezing hard as you rock your hips, the friction between you igniting every nerve in your body.
You moan softly into his mouth, the heat between you both growing unbearable. When Markâs hand moves down to smack your ass, the sound is sharp and commanding, making your body jolt in response. âMark,â you gasp, the name slipping out in a breathless moan. His name was a broken plea on your lips as his hands continue to roam, guiding your movements as you grind harder against him, feeling the friction build between your bodies.
His hands are everywhereâpalming your ass, guiding your movements, pressing you harder against him as you grind down. The heat, the friction, the way he kisses you with an intensity and desperationâit all sends your mind spinning. You feel his desire in every touch, every grip on your skin, and you want more.
You arch your back, pressing your chest against his, the kiss growing even more desperate, your tongues tangling, breaths mingling as soft moans escape between your lips. His hands pull you closer, as if he canât get enough of you, the tension building with every second, every movement.
Mark stands, lifting you effortlessly, his strong hands gripping your thighs as your legs instinctively wrap around his waist. You can feel the heat of his body through his clothes, every hard muscle pressing against you. Before you even register whatâs happening, he tosses you onto the bed, Jenoâs bedâand the realization of where you are only adds to the illicit thrill running through you.Â
You watch him through half-lidded eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the chiseled muscles beneath. His chest is broad, his arms flexing with every movement, each line of his body carved like stone. Your gaze traces over the defined ridges of his abs, the muscles contracting with every deep breath he takes, and your heart races, pulse pounding in your ears.
Then your eyes drop lower, and you canât help but stare at the bulge straining against his jeans. The thick, undeniable outline is impossible to ignore, and the sight makes your breath hitch, a sharp gasp escaping your lips as your anticipation skyrockets. The raw need between your legs intensifies, and you press your thighs together instinctively, biting your lip as you imagine whatâs coming next.
Mark moves closer, his hands reaching down to undo his belt, the metal clinking as he loosens it. But just as his fingers graze the zipper, you catch the flicker of doubt in his eyes. Itâs subtle, just a brief hesitation, but itâs enough to shift the atmosphere. The dangerous, primal intensity in his gaze softens, and for a moment, he looks at youânot with the hunger youâve seen, but with something deeper, more conflicted.
You donât say anything, but you feel the weight of the moment hanging between you. His hand pauses at his waistband, and he swallows hard, his jaw clenching. The air thickens with the tension of everything unspoken, and for the first time, you both hesitate, the thrill of the moment colliding with the reality of where you areâof who you are.
Mark leans over you, his hand brushing against your cheek, the gentleness of his touch a stark contrast to the heat that had been building just moments before. His thumb runs over your lower lip, lingering there as if heâs warring with himself, battling between desire and restraint.
âWe canât,â he murmurs, his voice low, almost regretful.
You blink, still lost in the heat of the moment, your body screaming for more even as his words register in your mind. âWhat do you mean?â you ask, your voice breathless. You reach for him again, your fingers already working on the button of his jeans. âCome on, Mark⌠we donât need to stop. Iâm on the pill so you can cum inside of me, I donât mind.â
His groan is deep, almost pained, as he steps back. One hand drags down his face, his frustration clear as he shakes his head. âItâs not that,â he mutters, his gaze conflicted. âYou just broke up with Jenoâheâs my brother. And weâre in his room. You really want this to happen here? You want me to fuck you on his bed?â
Your response is immediate, unwavering. âYes.â
He stares at you, huffing out a breath of disbelief. âY/NâŚâ he starts, voice softer now, laced with something between guilt and restraint. âNo. This isnât how itâs supposed to happen. Not like this.â
For a moment, everything pauses. The weight of his words crashes over you, bringing with it a wave of reality youâve been avoiding. The intensity of what almost happenedâthe way you nearly crossed a line that, once crossed, couldnât be undone. Embarrassment starts to creep in, settling in your chest like a heavy stone.
You sit up, hurriedly pulling your clothes back on, avoiding his eyes as the thrill of the moment fades, replaced by a deep ache you didnât expect. The tension between you feels different nowâcharged, yes, but laced with something more painful. Something you canât quite name.
Mark doesnât say anything as he watches you, his chest still rising and falling heavily, the conflict clear in his eyes. You know he wants you, you felt it, but thereâs a line he wonât cross. Not like this. And you hate that it makes sense. You hate that heâs right.
As you stand, buttoning your skirt, you bite your lip, fighting the urge to cry. You werenât ready for all of this to stop so abruptly. You didnât want to face the truth of the situation or the complicated mess your feelings had become. And more than anything, you didnât want to be alone tonight.
âDo you want to come to mine?â you ask, the words shaky, but you force them out. Thereâs a part of you that fears heâll refuse, that this will be the moment everything falls apart completely. But you canât help but hope heâll still want you, even if not here. Not like this.
For a long moment, he doesnât answer. His expression is unreadable, his eyes searching yours for something youâre not sure you can give. The silence stretches, your heart pounding in your chest, the fear of rejection threatening to overwhelm you.
Then, finally, he nods, a small, almost shy smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His hand reaches out, offering to help you up, and for the first time since this whole mess started, thereâs a flicker of tenderness in his gaze.
âYeah,â he says quietly, his voice soft, yet sure. âLetâs go.â
Relief washes over you as you take his hand, the touch of his fingers grounding you, soothing the frayed edges of your emotions. As he helps you stand, the tension between you shifts againânot gone, but different. The heat is still there, simmering under the surface, but itâs mixed with something softer now, something that feels more real.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Back at your apartment, the quiet felt almost surreal after the chaos of the night. The familiar warmth of your space wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, a stark contrast to the lingering tension still buzzing between you and Mark. You felt the shift in the air the moment you stepped through the doorâthe atmosphere was softer, quieter, more intimate, and the reality that it was just the two of you sank in.
Mark followed you inside, his eyes taking in your surroundings with quiet interest. The apartment was all yours for the night, a small comfort in itself, and you were already beginning to sober up. Mark, as if reading your mind, immediately took care of you, handing you a bottle of water. âYou need this,â he said softly, his tone gentle, but there was an undercurrent of care in his voice that made your chest tighten.
You took small sips, the cool water refreshing as it slid down your throat, grounding you back to the present. Meanwhile, Mark wandered around your room, and you couldnât help but watch him, feeling something shift between the two of you.
Your space was a reflection of youâa safe haven filled with little pieces of your world. The fairy lights youâd strung up glowed softly, casting a warm, golden hue over everything. The air smelled faintly of lavender, the scent of your candles lingering in the air. Your walls were lined with your art, pieces of yourself you rarely shared with anyone else. There were posters of abstract designs, dreamy landscapes, and sketches that felt like fragments of your soul on display.
Unique and delicate things decorated your shelvesâa crystal lamp you had found at a flea market, a few small plants in pots you had painted yourself, and a collection of books you loved but hadnât read in ages. The room felt like a mix of creativity and chaos, an organized mess that somehow made sense only to you.
Markâs eyes moved from one corner to the next, a small smile tugging at his lips as he took everything in. He seemed fascinated by the art on your walls, lingering over certain pieces as if trying to figure out the stories behind them. You could see the admiration in his gaze, the way he appreciated your space without needing to say much.
âYou really made this place your own,â he commented softly, running a hand over one of the posters, careful not to disturb it. âItâs beautiful..â
A warm flush crept up your neck at his words. You werenât used to someone appreciating your space like this, not in such a genuine, heartfelt way. Mark wasnât just complimenting the decorâhe was complimenting you, the person who had created this world.
âThanks,â you murmured, feeling shy all of a sudden. âItâs nothing special.â
Mark shook his head, still gazing around. âItâs special because itâs yours.â His voice was soft, sincere, and it made your heart do a strange, fluttery thing in your chest.
âCan you help me get my necklace off?â You ask, smiling as heâs already making his way over to you.Â
Markâs fingers worked gently at the clasp of your necklace, his touch soft and deliberate. You tilted your head slightly, giving him better access as he carefully unhooked the delicate chain from around your neck. The warmth of his fingers brushing against your skin sent a shiver down your spine, but it wasnât from the coldâit was the softness of the moment.
He moved slowly, taking the necklace and walking over to your jewellery stand. You watched as he placed it neatly on one of the hooks, his movements calm and precise, as if he had done this a hundred times before. There was something almost tender in the way he handled your things, treating them with care, as if they were an extension of you.
Mark turned back to you, his eyes soft as he reached for your earrings next. His fingers grazed your earlobe, and you held your breath, feeling the closeness between you both. The quiet of the room wrapped around the two of you, making the moment feel even more intimate. One by one, he removed each earring, placing them in their designated spot, never once rushing or making you feel hurried.
The silence was filled with unspoken words, a shared understanding that neither of you dared to voice. When he was done, he looked back at you with a small, almost shy smile. âThere,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
You needed to clear your head, to shake off the growing feelings you had for him, so you excused yourself to take a shower. As you stood under the warm spray, washing away the remnants of the night, you couldnât stop thinking about the way Mark had looked at you. The way his presence had shifted from something casual and playful to something deeper, more intimate. The thought scared you, but it also made you feel seen in a way you hadnât felt in a long time.
When you finally stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a soft bathrobe, you found Mark sitting on your bed, strumming a gentle tune on a guitar. You paused, tilting your head in confusion. Where did he get that from? You didnât remember him carrying a guitar around at the party or on the way home. Had you really been that out of it?
âWhere did you get a guitar from?â you asked, narrowing your eyes as you watched him hum and play a melody, his fingers dancing over the strings with ease.
He looked up at you, his eyes twinkling with amusement. âI always carry it around.â
You raised an eyebrow, folding your arms as you leaned against the doorframe. âIâm pretty sure I wouldâve noticed if you brought a guitar with you to the party.â
Mark chuckled, his laughter soft and infectious. âMaybe you werenât paying attention.â
You rolled your eyes, crossing the room to sit beside him on the bed. âSo, you play basketball and the guitar?â you teased, feeling more relaxed now, the tension easing into something more playful.
He nodded, plucking a few more notes before setting the guitar down. âMy major is music.â
You laughed, shaking your head. âOkay, Troy Bolton.â
He chuckled along with you, his eyes softening as he looked at you. âItâs way past midnight,â he said after a moment, his voice quieter now, more serious. âYou should get some sleep. Donât you have lectures tomorrow?â
You shrugged, already feeling the weight of the day catching up to you. âIâm not going.â
Mark gave you a pointed look. âDonât say that. Yes, you are.â
You sighed dramatically but didnât argue. Instead, you moved to the other side of the bed, pulling back the covers and sinking into the soft sheets. The warmth of the bed, combined with the softness of the moment, made your eyelids heavy with exhaustion.
As you began to drift off, you noticed Mark standing up, throwing a blanket onto the chair in the corner. You frowned, sitting up slightly. âYou donât need to sleep there,â you whispered, your voice soft and almost shy. âCome here. Thereâs so much space in my bed.â
He raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a small smile. âItâs literally a single bed.â
You rolled your eyes, patting the space beside you. âI just want someone to hold me so I can sleep.â
For a moment, Mark hesitated, his eyes searching yours. But then he sighed, his expression softening as he crossed the room and slipped under the covers beside you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close in a way that made your heart race, but also made you feel safe.
Mark held you tightly, his arms pulling you closer, enveloping you in his warmth. You felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back, the soothing rhythm of his breathing lulling you into a sense of comfort you hadnât felt in so long. His breath was warm against your forehead, gentle, almost protective, as he leaned in and whispered, âSleep well, Y/N.â
The sound of his voice, low and intimate, sent a soft shiver down your spine. His words werenât just a wish; they felt like a promise, like he was going to hold you through the night and keep you safe.Â
His hand, large and warm, rested softly on your waist, fingers brushing against the bare skin under your shirt with the lightest of touches. It was a subtle, almost unconscious gesture, but the intimacy of it sent your heart fluttering. He didnât pull away; he stayed close, his body pressed gently against yours, grounding you in the moment. Every small shift of his body, every breath he took, seemed to ease the tension that had been weighing on you for so long.
You let your hand rest on top of his, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips. His fingers instinctively intertwined with yours, the touch delicate yet reassuring. It was more than just physical contactâit was the silent understanding that you werenât alone anymore, that he was here, holding you through it all.
His lips brushed lightly against your forehead, a featherlight kiss that made your heart swell. âIâve got you,â he murmured, his voice barely audible, but the sincerity in his tone wrapped around you like a blanket.
With a soft sigh, you let yourself relax completely, your body melting into his. You could feel the last remnants of stress slipping away, replaced by the steady, calming presence of Mark beside you. His embrace was warm, solid, and it made you feel safe in a way you hadnât in what felt like forever.
As your eyes fluttered closed, you let yourself fall into a deep, peaceful sleep, your mind finally quiet, the weight of the world finally slipping away, knowing he would be there when you woke.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
authors note â surprise!! iâve been teasing this one for a while and just wanted to drop it without any prior warning :) this is gonna be a long ride and have many more parts so comment if you want to be on the tag list :) send an ask through telling me what you thought or interact !! thank you
#mark smut#nct smut#mark lee smut#nct fic#mark fic#mark lee fic#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut#nct#nct dream#nct dream fic#nct fluff#nct 127#nct 127 fic#mark lee#mark lee fluff#mark lee imagines#mark lee scenarios#mark lee x reader#mark lee x you#nct mark#nct mark lee#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct angst#mark lee angst#nct dream fanfic#nct dream fluff#nct dream imagine#nct dream scenarios
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Title: Or Someone Finds The Lid.
Pairing: Yandere!Gojo x Reader x Yandere!Geto (JJK).
Word Count: 8.0k.
Commissioned by the very lovely @elsecrytt.
TW: Non/Con, Fem!Reader, Prolonged Captivity, Severe Infantilization, Forced Deepthroating, Double Penetration, Wildly Unhealthy Dynamics, Unbalanced Power Dynamics, Geto Suguru has an Oral Fixation, Gojo Satou has a Mommy Kink, and Nonconsensual Drug Use. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.
[Part One]
âI just donât understand why youâre doing this.â
It had to be close to the hundredth time youâd in the past week, in the days since you woke up in a distressingly pastel bedroom, hostage to your two always worryingly possessive, but only recently deranged boyfriends. You knew, more concretely, that it was around the eleventh time youâd spouted that exact line today and the fourth time in the past hour, and as always, you were answered with a sympathetic glance, a patronizingly sweet smile. You could only be thankful it was coming from Satoru, this time. Suguru wouldâve been much more condescending.
âBecause we love you.â Another common sentiment, purred with just as much enthusiasm as it had been the first time youâd heard it, or the twelfth, or the forty-seventh. âAnd because you look good in pink.â
You sighed audibly, and Satoru pretended not to notice â only pulling you that much closer and resting his head on your shoulder. You were quickly learning that personal space, like many prior luxuries you hadnât known to enjoy, was a right that Satoru and Suguru could revoke at will. Currently, your body was folded against Satoruâs â your back slotted against his chest and his legs spread on either side of you, the chain still attached to your ankle spread out over the mattress and the handheld console he was only partially focused on balanced on your lap. You tried to treasure the opportunity to stare mindlessly at a screen (a special privilege, considering your usual means of entertainment consisted of crayons, elementary-grade chapter books, and a plastic tea set), but for whatever reason, watching Satoru play Animal Crossing for three consecutive hours was just as under stimulating as it had been pre-kidnapping.
âThatâs not a real answer.â You nudged your elbow into his chest, and when that didnât work, pushed at his arm, just trying to get his attention. Yet another perk of your newly assigned position in this relationship â Satoru and Suguru had never made an exceptional effort to listen to you before, but now, you might as well have been speaking another language. âThis is justâItâs just been so much, and itâs all so frustrating, and I donâtââ
And, just like that, you were tearing up â your vision going foggy as you struggled to hold back tears, to swallow down the whine building at the base of your throat. It was less that youâd been crying more easily and more than you were always on the verge of tears; your anger and frustration and confusion constantly at their peaks, just waiting for an excuse to spill over and leak out. Immediately, Satoru dropped his console, cooing softly as he scooped you up and turned you around. You moved to hide your face, but he was faster, more determined â his hands cupping your cheeks before you could swat him away. You werenât crying yet, not really, but he took pains to hum and kiss away the few tears that escaped despite your best efforts. It was alarming, that crying was the only thing that consistently got them to hear you out. You tried not to think about the implications of that when paired with the pastel-pink aesthetic and the overall toddler-adjacent treatment.
âIâm really frustrated, âtoru,â you repeated, melting into his hands. There was another coo, another peck to your forehead, before you went on. âI justâ I need to know why youâre doing this. You can tell me that much, canât you?â
âIâve already told you, baby. Itâs because weââ You cut in with a miserable, heart-breakingly pathetic sniffle, and Satoru pouted, shaking his head. Still, he broke quickly enough. âLook, you know that Suguru and I had it kinda rough before we met you, right? When we were growing up, I mean.â
Vaguely. You knew that Suguruâs parents died while he was in high school, that itâd been some kind of freak accident, but he didnât like to talk about it. Youâd met Satoruâs family once, but âmetâ mightâve been the wrong word for it. Really, youâd sat in the antechamber of an estate the side of a small shopping mall for a little over an hour, answering questions asked by a woman who hadnât introduced herself before being informed that, while you were not deemed a suitable partner for Satoru, you also werenât dangerous enough to be worth the effort it would take to actively keep you away from him. Most of the time, you just tried to pretend that neither of your former partners, current captors had any immediate family.
Reluctantly, you nodded, and Satoru rewarded you with another kiss â this one to the corner of your jaw. âI know you probably donât get it, but me and Suguru â we care about you, we care about you a lot. And the worldâs a really, really dangerous place. If something happened to you out thereâŚâ He trailed off, laughing airily. An arm looped around your waist, pulling you into his lap, his chest. Instead of trying to resist, you curled against him, burying your face in his shirt as he rubbed slow, small circles into the small of your back. âYouâre better off here. Getting to keep you all to ourselves is just a bonus.â
You wanted to scream, to bash your fists against his chest, to point out that they were the only people whoâd ever isolated, assaulted, or kidnapped you, but he was doing what you asked him to, and the worst thing you couldâve done was give him a reason not to be as generous in the future. ââŚI donât understand why you had to doââ You nodded towards your clothes â a set of bright pink cotton pajamas dotted with strawberries â then the rest of the room. ââthis, though, if youâre trying to keep me safe. Couldnât you have just⌠not?â
Another laugh, this one more sincere. âThat partâs just for us.â This time, when he squeezed you against his chest, he didnât let go until you were squirming against him, struggling to breathe. âSuguru does tend to let the roleplay get a little out-of-hand, but it really does help. Thereâs just something about seeing you all sweet nâ dressed up, surrounded by cute, soft things...â He trailed off with an airy laugh. âMakes me feel⌠secure, yâknow? Like weâre keeping you safe.â
Something thick and jagged caught in your throat. ââŚthis was Suguruâs idea?â
If he heard you, then that was a question he wasnât interested in answering. âI meant the other part, too.â And then, with a slightly longer, more lingering kiss to the apex of your throat. âYou look really good in pink.â
You felt it a second later â a familiar shape pressing into your ass, already worryingly stiff. You pulled away from him, your disgust too reflexive to hide. ââŚit gets you hard to see adult women dressed like first-graders?â
âNo, princess.â A pause, a sudden nip to the side of your neck. âIt gets me hard when you dress like a first-grader.â
Thankfully, before you had time to start to unpack that, you heard the bedroom door open and glanced over your shoulder to find Suguru leaning against the frame. Concern was written clearly across his expression, but it dulled to affectionate exasperation when he saw Satoru wiping away your non-existent tears. âI thought I heard a struggle,â he explained, unprompted. You hadnât put up much of a physical fight yet, but they were both clearly concerned you would â the literal chain around your ankle was evidence enough of that. âIs it time for the little princess to take her medicine?â
You seized up at the mention of your âmedicineâ â sedatives administered in the form of tiny, heart-shaped pills that left you exhausted and disoriented for hours at a time, if they didnât knock you out entirely. It was what theyâd used the night theyâd taken you, and Suguru seemed to like to pull them out whenever you cried, or screamed, or did anything they shouldâve known to expect from an acclimating victim.
To his credit, Satoru didnât jump at the opportunity to drug you into oblivion. Not this time, at least. âShe got a little overwhelmed. I took care of it.â Â You slumped against him, letting yourself relax. That was your mistake, really. Maybe you shouldâve had more realistic expectations, too. âBut,â he went on, pushing another, sloppier kiss into your neck. âSheâs still pretty fragile. A few hours off probably wouldnât hurt.â
It was awful â how easily they could talk about you like some distant, abstract subject, how quickly they seemed to forget you were capable of listening when not addressed directly. With a smile, Suguru moved forward, resting one knee on the edge of your mattress while Satoru held you in place â keeping you from scrambling back as far as your chain would allow. You tried to grit your teeth, to keep your mouth shut, but Suguru only clicked his tongue, cupping your face with one hand while pressing something small and chalky against your pursed lips with the other. âDarling,â he drawled, infusing as much syrupy condescension into the pet name as was humanly possible. âYou remember what happens to bad girls who donât do what theyâre told, donât you?â
Instantly, your heart dropped. You remembered.
Driving your nails into your palms, you unlocked your jaw and hesitantly opened your mouth. Suguru barely waited for your lips to part before shoving the pill past your teeth and down your throat, keeping two lingers lodged in your airway even as you sputtered and gagged around him. It was less that you swallowed his pill and more that you wouldâve had to choke down anything he all-but force-fed you, but whatever you called it, Suguru was satisfied â drawing back with a pleased hum only to tap his saliva-coated fingers against Satoruâs lips, instead. You shut your eyes, but it wasnât enough.
The last thing you heard were the wet, stomach-turning noises of Satoruâs affection before everything went fuzzy.
~
You only really acted out once â about three weeks in, when the initial adrenaline was starting to fade and the slow, vicious dread of prolonged captivity had just begun to set in. You werenât allowed to leave your windowless, ambiently lit bedroom, and by end of the first week, time had turned into something viscous and unforgiving, the endless hours only broken up by visits from Satoru and Suguru. It was hard not to be constantly on edge â unsure if youâd been alone for hours and minutes, simultaneously dying to see them again and hoping you never would. It was hard to tell what they were thinking, when you were so caught in in your own spiraling thoughts to try and guess at theirs.
Speaking of â their dynamic had become a little clearer, even if how things had spiraled out of control so quickly was still lost on you. You and Satoru had always been the dominant personalities in your relationship, with Suguru as the calming presence that leveled the two of you out, setting arguments and keeping you from tearing out each otherâs throats. Now, though, the roles were reversed. Satoru was happy enough to spend most of his time treating you like an oversized, particularly uncooperative stuffed animal; something to cuddle and coo over, but not necessarily train or expect to reciprocate. Suguru, thoughâŚ
Suguru had expectations.
âI need you to hold still, love.â
Suguruâs fingers brushed over your spine as he fiddled with the complex array of buttons lining the back of tonightâs nightgown. Youâd seen your closest, knew they mustâve spent a small fortune on dresses and shoes and accessories, but Suguru still seemed to prefer you in sheer, cotton nightgowns and lacey lingerie and humiliatingly childish loungewear â nothing you wouldâve been able to wear outside of home, even if youâd put it on willingly. It was a blessing that Suguru and Satoru were as busy as they were â Satoru with his classes and Suguru with his religious group. Most of the time, youâd find Suguruâs chosen outfit on the foot of your bed and be trusted to dress yourself. Most of the time.
Just not tonight.
âSomeoneâs a little antsy.â It was Satoru, this time, as unhelpful as ever. He was sprawled across your bed, toying idly with your chain while you sat in front of a vanity on the other side of the room, deliberately avoiding your reflection in the tri-fold mirror. âYou shouldâve let me play with her in the tub. Then, she wouldnât have the energy to squirm.â
You felt your face burn. As if being forced to drink out of sippy cups and color with crayons wasnât enough, bathtime was quickly becoming one of your most unbearable daily trails. Suguru always made sure things stayed above-board, but having to watch Satoru fuck his own fist while Suguru lovingly dictated where, when, and how roughly to clean yourself wasnât much better than the alternative.
âAbsolutely not. Youâre too rough, and the last thing we want is for our princess to get bruised because you canât wait another half an hour.â Fenagling the last button into place, Suguru straightened his back, sighing contentedly. âCan you turn around for me?â
Biting down on the side of your tongue, you shifted on the velvet-cushioned stool, your back pressing into the edge of the vanityâs counter as you faced Suguru. Youâd made a point of not looking at yourself, but you could imagine what he saw â a thin nightgown clinging to your damp skin, your posture shrunken and your eyes downcast, every part of you made to seem small and helpless. If the feeling of his gaze burning into you wasnât telling enough, the overwhelming delight audible in his voice wouldâve given him away in a heartbeat. âSatoru, you have your phone, right? I want a picture. Andâoh.â Your eyes darted in his direction just in time to see him pull a stuffed animal from one of the larger stacks; a large, white rabbit teddy, its button eyes an overly familiar shade of blue. He held it by its ears as he handed it to you. âHold onto this for a second, love.â
You felt something tighten in your chest. You were in a bad position. You were in a bad place. You needed to be careful, and yet, when you finally managed to say something, you could only seem to spit out the one thing you knew he wouldnât want to hear. âI⌠I really donât want to take a picture right now, if thatâs alright.â
To his credit, Suguruâs didnât falter, his grin only wavering slightly. âLove,â He paused, sighed. âI didnât ask if you wanted to.â
âI know, butââ Your breath hitched in your throat. Really, it was a miracle you werenât already crying. âPlease, Suguru. Not right now.â
His expression darkened, and yet, the gentle sigh that slipped past his lips was nothing short of tender. Still holding the rabbit, he reached out â catching the lace of your nightgownâs collar with two fingers. For a second, he just played with the delicate fabric, careful not to damage it.
Then, before you could think to react, his fist was around your neck and you were being slammed into the vanity.
There was enough force behind the collision to splinter the wood upon impact, to knock the air out of your lungs and seed an awful knot of blinding pain in the back of your head. You gasped, but it was too late â his fist tightened around your throat and you couldnât breathe, couldnât think, couldnât move save what it took for your hands to find his and dig your nails into his wrist, his forearm, his knuckles, whatever you could reach. You never wouldâve been able to pry him off, but you didnât need to. He released you as abruptly as heâd lunged, and without his support, your body dropped off of the vanityâs now-dented desk and onto the carpeted floor, your dress falling into a limp heap around you. You were too shocked to cry, to sob, to scream. Suguru and Satoru had kidnapped you, dehumanized you, isolated you, but neither of them had ever hurt you. Theyâd neverâ
Except, that wasnât true, was it? They had hurt you. The first thing Suguru ever didwas hurt you, bending you over his knee the second you disobeyed him, and Satoru helped.
For your own sake, you decided to consider this an escalation, a new development. Something neither of them wouldâve been capable of, back when you still considered them your Suguru and your Satoru.
 You also decided, still for your own sake, that you couldnât afford to think about this any longer. Suguru was already moving on, lowering himself to your height, pouting as he raked his fingers through your now-disheveled hair and evaluated your newly wrinkled dress. âIâm sorry, princess. I mustâve lost my temper. I know you must be upset â having your pretty outfit ruined and all.â
He waited a beat, then asked, âDonât you have something to say to me?â
If you hadnât been so scared, you mightâve slapped him. Instead, you just bit down on your bottom lip and mumbled an unsure âI⌠Iâm sorry?â
âFor what, exactly?â
âForâFor talking back, and making you angry. I didnât mean to.â
âI know, love, I know. You would never mean to do anything like that.â He was still holding onto that fucking rabbit. You felt its velvet-soft material brush against your leg as he placed it, almost carefully, on the floor next to you. âIâll tell you what â there donât have to be any pictures. Why donât you take your medicine, and we can allgo to bed?â
âNo!â It was a purely automatic response, as reflexive as lashing out and latching onto his arm. When you realized what you were doing, you pulled away with a jolt, forcing your hands back into your lap and staring wide-eyed at the floor. âI mean, Iâm sorry, I justââ You swallowed harshly. âIsnât there⌠uh, another option? Please?â
Suguru opened his mouth, but Satoru cut in before he had the chance to answer. âThink itâs time to break out her pacifier, Suguru?â
You perked up. No part of you wanted to suck on a piece of plastic for the entertainment of your captors, sure, but it was better than the alternative. Fuck, you were having trouble of thinking of something that wasnât.
Suguru seemed to like the idea, too. He shot Satoru an appreciative smile before pushing himself to his feet, before turning his attention back to you, eagerly waiting for your next bout of psychological torture.
It was only when he reached for the waistband of his sweatpants that you realized your mistake.
You mightâve protested â or, whined, at least â but the back of your skull still ached, and you could still see Satoru smirking in your peripheral, and he was already forcing his boxers below his hips, already curling a hand around the shaft of his cock. Disgustingly, terrifyingly, he was half-hard; his bloated tip flushed a darker shade of red, beads of arousal leaking from his blunt head and dripping down his shaft. Your thoughts seemed to waver, then fry, then blot out altogether â like a video game glitching in the middle of a cut scene. Maybe you shouldâve just sat still for the fucking picture after all.
âThe poor thing looks so startled,â Suguru cooed, glancing to Satoru. âWhy donât you lend her a hand?â
You were vaguely aware of Satoru moving, shifting, pushing himself off of your bed and crouching behind you. His thumb pushed past your lips and hooked your lower jaw easing your mouth open with as little grace as you had remaining dignity. You tried to bite down, obviously, but Suguru took hold of your hair and pulled â the sharp spike of pain immediately dispelling any thoughts of disobedience. âHeâs helping you,â Suguru chimed, his voice taking on a cloying overtone. âYouâll have to thank him properly later on. When your mouth isnât full, I mean.â
It wasnât, but that changed quickly. Suguru was kind enough (or cruel enough) to move slowly, easing the head of his cock past your lips first, letting it sit on your tongue as you fought not to cringe against the bitter, musky taste. Satoru pulled his hand away as Suguru eased another inch into your mouth, then another, then another â letting out a rough groan as his tip hit the back of your throat with more than half of his shaft to spare. You fought the urge to gag, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Youâd given him head before, but itâd always been on your own terms, with Satoru waiting on the sidelines to bail you out if you ever got tired of choking on your boyfriendâs stupidly big dick. Now, though, Satoru didnât seem to want to do anything but breathe down your neck, and you doubted your consent was a factor either of them would stop to genuinely consider.
Ultimately, your enthusiastic cooperation proved unnecessary. Suguru kept his fingers tangled in your hair, his blunt nails biting into your scalp as he manually bobbed your head â slowly, at first, then faster, with enough force to leave your jaw sore after less than a minute of being split around his shaft. Saliva and pre-cum drooled from the corner of your mouth, dripping down your chest and onto your nightgown, but if Suguru cared, the feeling of your throat convulsing around him was enough to warrant a momentary lapse in decency. âT-thatâs it,â he muttered, mostly under his breath. âGood, good girl. See what happens when youâre well-behaved?â
You felt Satoru shift behind you, his hands skirting over your back as he skillfully undid the buttons Suguru had spent so much time fussing over. A pair of large, velvet-soft hands grazed over your waist, then your sides, before reaching your chest and cupping your tits â kneading the soft tissue like a pair twin stress balls fitted perfectly to his palms. âShe looks better already,â Satoru laughed, thumbs swiping over your nipples. âYouâre gonna thank mommy for being so nice with you, right?â
Suguru snorted. âIâm mommy?â
âMhm. âcause youâre so pretty and you take such good care of our little princess.â He nudged you, propping his chin on your shoulder. âGo on, baby. Tell mommy how much you love him.â
You choked something out â more of a desperate whine than anything coherent â and Suguru threw his head back, cursing silently as his pace turned from sloppy to erratic. His cock battered into your throat with every thrust, your air supply constantly somewhere between minimal and nonexistent. It was only as the outskirts of your vision started to fade that Suguru hissed, gritting his teeth as he dragged your head into his hips, your nose pressing into his pubic bone and his cock so far down your throat, you could practically feel him in your lungs. A sudden twitch, a groaned exhale was all the warning you received before you felt something hot and thick fill your throat, your mouth, your diaphragm. He held you there for a moment, then another â savoring the sound of your fractured whimpering all-but drowned by his cum â before letting you go, watching through half-lidded eyes as you collapsed into Satoruâs waiting arms.
You lurched forward, moving to spit, to get him out of you, but Satoruâs hand was already covering your mouth â determined to keep Suguruâs taste on your tongue for that much longer. At the same time, you felt something small and soft being dropped onto your thighs, heard the shutter of a camera above you. Rather than trying to look at Suguru, you let your gaze fall to your lap.
Or, rather, the perfectly white, perfectly posed rabbit now resting peacefully on top of it.
~
It was two months before the chain came off â meaning, before Suguru and Satoru were happy enough with either your behavior or their security to let you roam freely (with heavy supervision, of course). It went without saying that you were ecstatic. You could barely sit still while Satoru undid the shackle, barely listen while Suguru told you their plans for the night â dinner and a movie marathon, not totally dissimilar to something you mightâve suggested when you still had the authority to be making suggestions. It didnât matter. You were just happy to be doing anything, especially if it meant you got to leave that godawful room.
You only realized that youâd still been picturing your old apartment when you stepped out of the bedroom an abruptly realized you werenât in an apartment at all, but a house â two stories with every window looking out onto a fence so tall, you wouldâve had to be on the roof to see over it. It was decorated sparely, with what few shelves there were littered sporadically with Satoruâs gundams or parts of Suguruâs ongoing trinket collection, but minimalism was an appreciated change compared to the ongoing sensory nightmare that was your bedroom. You gawked at every empty surface, every plain white wall as Suguru herded you to the kitchen, where Satoru was busy plating what looked like udon. The seating arrangement was strange â there were only two chairs at the dining room table, but you were too caught up in your own euphoria to care. You grabbed a bowl and a pair of chopsticks, fell into a seat, andâ
âSweetheart,â Suguru started, his voice somewhat strained. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âUh,â You glanced at your bowl, abruptly confused. âEating? I think?â
âAlmost, but not quite. I guess I canât blame you for not knowing.â He rounded the table, coming to stand at your side. You tried to get up, but it only took a hand on your shoulder to stop you. âEven something as simple as using utensils can be dangerous for little ones like you. Me and Satoru will be feeding you by hand, from now on.â
It was strange, really â how many little deaths you could die before going numb to it. It was terrible, how many times you could hear one of the two men you loved most in the world say you were more incapable than a literal child before it all just turned to static.
You wondered, distantly, if Suguru was offended that you didnât engage with this part of him more willingly. It was clearly sincere, if fucked-up, and if heâd ever bothered to ask, you probably wouldâve agreed to try it â not that you wouldâve had much of a choice, in the later stages of your relationship. It was different for Satoru â as long as you were trapped and at his mercy, heâd be happy. Suguru wanted something⌠different, more complex. Suguru wanted reliance.
Suguru wanted to break you down.
âIf you say so.â You heard your voice, felt your mouth moving, but you werenât talking. âCan I⌠um, would it be alright if I asked for something, first?â
Suguruâs satisfaction was almost palpable. âOf course. Anything for you.â
âI think Iâd like to take my medicine, now.â
Suguru answered quickly, but not quickly enough. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Satoru reach for the cabinet above the stove before thinking better of it and glancing over his shoulder, as if to make sure you hadnât seen. It took everything you had not to react as Suguru responded.
âOf course,â he said with an airy laugh, nearly purring. âNot right now, though â weâll wait until itâs closer to your bedtime. Try to focus on dinner.â
You only nodded eagerly, smiling sincerely for the first time in weeks.
~
It took two weeks for you to get your hands on their pills (you stole two, just in case), and three more to convince Satoru that a field trip â his description, not yours â wouldnât be that big of a deal, not if you kept it short, not if Suguru didnât find out. Heâd always been ecstatic when you visited him at his university (a historic private school, so unlike the local community college youâd gone to, the one you missed with all your heart), and besides, what was worst that could happen? He wasnât going to let you out of his sight, and the students were still on winter break. You could even wear your old clothes, just to make sure you didnât attract attention. Itâd just be the two of you, all alone in his office, with hours and hours and hours to kill. Really, how could it possibly go wrong?
You waited until you reached his office to slip both stolen pills into his coffee. Heâd barely gotten his belt off before the effects kicked-in, but still, you waited until heâd been reduced to a drooling, half-conscious shell of himself before making your escape.
Youâd been right â his campus really was deserted. You hurried past dark lecture halls and empty offices as you rushed in a direction you hoped would lead to an exit, glanced out of windows that looked onto lifeless courtyards as you thought about what to do next. The police werenât an option. They hadnât hurt you, not in any way youâd be able to prove, and even if you had the evidence, Satoru was rich, and to the law, there was no greater proof of innocence. You tried to think of phone numbers, of addresses, but you hadnât had many friends before meeting Satoru and Suguru, and theyâd made sure to whittle that unimpressive number down to zero over the course of your relationship. You cursed under your breath, even though there was no one around to hear you. You shouldâve taken Satoruâs wallet after he passed out. You wouldnât have been able to use to his cards, but it wouldâve been nice toâ
You rounded the next corner, then froze.
At the end of the hall, like an omen of death granted human form, stood Suguru.
You took a faltering step backward before breaking into a full, heart-pounding sprint. Suguru wasnât close, but he was close enough. He let you get all of three steps away before fist curled around the back of your shirt, his muscular arm wrapping around your midriff, trapping you with as much effort as it mightâve taken to lift a kitten by its scruff. Still, you thrashed, struggled, fought â throwing your elbow into his stomach and kicking at his legs as he lifted you off the ground entirely, pinning your body against his chest. He wasnât supposed to be here. You were told heâd be at his shrine today, all day, with a thousand little things to do thatâd keep him distracted until you got away. This wasnât fair. He wasnât supposed to beâ
âCalm down,â he muttered, his voice distant, cold. âYouâll only make this worse for yourself.â
Immediately, you went still. It was a vague threat, but it was a threat, and Suguru had never threatened you before.
Or, you didnât think he had, at least. It was getting so hard to tell, after everything theyâd done to you.
He didnât sigh, or shake his head, or speak again. He only lowered you back to the ground and, after taking your hand in his, led you back down the vacant halls, past the abandoned classrooms, and to the door of Satoruâs office. He paused outside of it, his dark eyes falling to you in a way you could only describe as void-like. You had to wonder why you every thought you knew him.
âYou were trying toâŚ?â
He didnât say it, but he didnât have to. Reluctantly, you nodded, and Suguru turned away from you, shouldering open the office door.
Satoru was on his feet, but only barely. He was supporting himself on the corner of his desk, his pale face flushed red and his clothes noticeably disheveled. At some point, heâd lost his sunglasses, and you watched his sky-blue eyes go wide as Suguru crossed the threshold with you following shortly after. âSuguru, princess.â His voice was weak, breathy. You could only imagine how youâd sounded strung out on their sedatives. âHow far did she get? She caught me off-guard, butââ
Suguru let go of your hand and closed the distance between him and Satoru. You heard the sharp crack before you could process what he was doing â saw Suguru raise his hand and Satoruâs head snap to the side without ever linking either action with the other. Even Satoru, always so resilient, took a moment to recover, his expression going blank as Suguru spoke, unphased. âIf you ever leave me, Iâll break your legs so badly, youâll never be able to walk again.â You didnât have to wonder if he meant it. It didnât matter if he meant it. The words alone left shaking too violently to move, let alone run. âAnd if you do anything to help her, Iâll gut you alive.â
Your eyes darted to Satoru, to his visibly swollen cheek. Somehow, he seemed even more flushed than he had seconds before, his eyes half-lidded and his lips slightly parted. If you hadnât known better, you mightâve thought he lookedâ
Oh, god.
You shouldâve gotten away when you had the chance.
Of course, things only got worse when he opened his mouth. âYes, mommy.â
âGet on the couch and lay down. Itâs not like youâre good for anything else, right now.â
âI will, mommy.â
He obeyed mechanically, collapsing onto the well-worn sofa that sat against the far wall. Youâd always thought it was too big, too bulky, especially in such a confined state. When you asked Satoru why he bothered to keep it, heâd just laughed and claimed he liked to keep his guests comfortable.
You doubted you counted as a guest. Then again, you doubted you were going to be very comfortable, either.
Suguru glanced over his shoulder, his lifeless stare boring into you. âStraddle his waist and help him undress. You did this, so youâll be taking responsibility.â
Fear was a surprisingly strong motivation. You were scrambling onto the sofa before you had a chance to think, planting a knee on either side of Satoruâs hips as you fumbled clumsily with his shirt. For his part, Satoru was either incapable of or unwilling to help you â a distant, careless smile soon painting itself across his lips as he watched you struggle. When he did move, it was only to bring a hand to the back of your neck and drag you downward, his mouth crashing into yours. It was less of a kiss and more of a sloppy attempt to choke you to death with his tongue, but Satoru still groaned as you separated, his face immediately finding the crook of your neck. âSo glad Suguru got you back,â he slurred, nuzzling into you. âHeâs so hot when he gets all jealous like that.â
You were only half-listening to him, already distracted. Suguru had moved, too â kneeling behind you, his hands finding your hips and dragging them into the air. Your skirt was pushed up to your waist, your panties to the side, and just as abruptly, three of Suguruâs broad fingers were pushed into your cunt. You whimpered at the sudden, borderline painful intrusion, but Suguru only scoffed. âBe grateful youâre getting this much prep. Itâs already more than you deserve.â
That didnât do anything to stop the pain, though. Suguru was merciless â sheathing his digits to the knuckle, spreading his fingers apart, making it clear that he wasnât doing this for your pleasure, even if he didnât seem to be getting much out of it, either. You tried to shut your eyes, to grit your teeth and bare it, but any attempts to ignore reality were swiftly cut short by the feeling of his unoccupied hand coming down on your ass with enough force to bruise. âDid I say could stop?â
He hadnât, but Satoru was making things difficult â keeping you slotted against him as closely as you could. As Suguruâs fingers fucked into you, you managed to get an arm between your body and his, for the waistband of his jeans down just far enough to earn a satisfied grunt from Suguru. Strangely, the worst part wasnât the strain in your cunt, or the heat of Satoruâs cock pressing into your stomach, but the feeling of Satoruâs wide, toothy grin pressing into the side of your neck â tangible proof of his euphoria. It was awful â just how clearly he was enjoying this. At least Suguru had the decency to go blank.
It was too much too suddenly with too little build up, but Suguru knew your body and, more damningly, your body knew him. Barely a minute had passed before you felt arousal stain the inside of your thighs, before the sound of his digits plunging into you took on a distinctive wet quality. You let your head lull into Satoruâs chest and dig your teeth into your tongue, willing away any embarrassing noises that wouldâve added to your ongoing degradation, but if Suguru cared, you couldnât tell. He soldiered on with that brutal, unyielding pace, ignoring your clit entirely in favor of beating his frustration directly into your pussy. Really, it was a miracle you felt anything at all. Well, anything beyond pain, anyway.
It was only when you tensed against Satoru, when you finally let a single, fractured moan slip past your haphazardly sealed lips, that Suguru abruptly stopped; pulling out of you before you could fully process what was happening. You glanced over your shoulder, misplaced disappointment softening the harsher edges of your fear, but Satoru was quick to catch your chin â redirecting your attention back to him. âWhere do you think youâre going, princess?â he asked, rocking his hips into yours. âYouâve gotta stay on my good side too, remembered?â
As if you could forget.
Behind you, Suguru glowered. âIâll deal with you when we get home.â To Satoru, and then, to you, âDo it. Make sure he doesnât cum.â
Your instructions were clear, albeit unappreciated. Satoru let you straighten your back, his hands kneading at your thighs as you picked yourself up and, as mindlessly as you could, aligned the head of his cock with your entrance. You wanted to move slowly, to give your abused cunt time to adjust, but Suguru proved uncharacteristically impatient; taking you by the shoulders and spearing you on Satoruâs cock before you could so much as consider protesting. You went stiff, your brain too busy trying to make sense of your sudden fullness to order your body to move, but Satoru didnât seem to mind â only tightening his vice-like hold and bucking into you from below, his cock battering into the deepest, most vulnerable part of you without the slightest trace of concern.
You were too startled to make noise, but Satoru had always been so much louder than you, so much more eager to pour out his every little thought. âSheâs so fucking tight,â he breathed, grinding into you. âBeen ages since I had her on top of me, too. Almost forgot howââ A slight gasp, a pitchy whine, âAlmost forgot how pretty she could get, sitting on her daddyâs lap.â
Your sight blurred, and a few seconds later, you realized you were crying. Suguru didnât respond, but you heard fabric shifting, felt one of his hands disappear for a moment before returning, now on the center of your back. With more force than he really had to use, he shoved you back down, pressing you flat against Satoru as he maneuvered himself behind you. Space was limited, availability even more so, but still, it wasnât until you felt the head of his cock press against your stuffed slit that you realized what he was doing.
âNâno,â It was almost impressive, just how quickly you abandoned what was left of your pride. You tried to pick yourself back up, but Satoru was a snare â an arm looking around your waist while the other found your hip, holding you still for Suguru. âPlease, you canât, itâs notâIt wonât fit, andââ
And, just like that, Suguru was pushing into you, bottoming out in a single thrust. As his hips pressed into your ass and he let out a quiet, almost inaudible groan, you could only wonder if either of them had ever really loved you.
There was a lapse â more for their sakes than yours â before Satoru started moving, already acclimated. âSuch a good girl,â he drawled, grinding into you, seemingly unhappy unless he and Suguru were both fully planted inside of you. âSee? Itâs not that bad, right? I knew youâd be able to handle it.â
But you couldnât. Tears streamed down your cheeks uncontrollably, hitched sobbed and agonized moans trickling past your lips every time either of them moved. Suguru sucked in a shuddering breath, then planted a hand on the small of your back, thrusting into you sharp and deep â his movements a stark contrast to Satoruâs. The stretch along was unbearable. Even on your best days, youâd struggle to take either of them to the hilt. Taking both seemed fantastical, implausible, fatal. It was genuinely surprising that you werenât already dead.
It was doubly as surprising, then, that it felt so good.
 Most of it had to be your own fried nerves trying to make the best of it, to get you through this as quickly and as painlessly as was possible. You werenât in control of anything; not your hands as they clawed blindly at Satoruâs chest, not your hips as you bucked pitifully into Suguru, and certainly not your cunt as it clenched even tighter around the cocks splitting it open. Satoru let out an airy laugh, two fingers dropping to your neglected clit. âItâs okay, baby, you deserve to feel good too,â he gushed, pushing lazy circles into the small bundle of nerves, drawing out yet another miserable sob. âTold you sheâd like it.â
âSheâs not supposed to,â Suguru grunted, digging his nails into your waist. Still, that didnât stop him from burying himself inside of you, his cock twitching against the walls of your cunt. You couldnât be sure what it was â the fullness, maybe, or the overstimulation, or your own desperation to just get this over with â but your vision burnt white, your body convulsing against Satoruâs as you came undone around them. Satoru followed shortly after, digging his teeth into the curve of your neck as he pumped something searing and vileinto you. Suguru let out a rough, throaty growl â throwing his head forward and hilting himself entirely inside of you. You shook your head, pleading silently, but he didnât seem to care, didnât seem to notice, and even if he had, you doubted it wouldâve been enough to stop him from cumming inside of you, from ensuring that no part of you was left uncorrupted.
There was a short period of numb, thoughtless stillness â filled only by Suguruâs panting, Satoruâs mindless cooing, and the absence of your voice. Suguru shifted, and for a second, you panicked, convincing yourself that there was more, that he wasnât done â but he only pulled out of you, fixing his clothes with his eyes focused pointedly on the point where your cunt was still stretched around Satoruâs cock, where it leaked and drooled onto Satoruâs lap. You werenât so resilient, letting your eyes fall shut and slumping against Satoru.
For the very first time, as you lost consciousness, you felt the smallest, tiniest, most microscopic spec of relief that, at the very least, you wouldnât be responsible for cleaning yourself up.
~
âStay in the car. Iâll call when itâs time for you to bring her in.â
The ride had been near-silent, only occasionally interrupted by an odd comment from Satoru or a hissed warning from Suguru. Suguru drove while Satoru held onto you in the back seat, keeping you gathered in his arms, his jacket draped loosely over your shoulders. Satoru only nodded as Suguru let himself out, making no move to follow. Whatever this was, they mustâve already talked about it while you were blacked out.
You waited until Suguru had disappeared into the house before speaking, your voice hoarse and unsteady. âHe hit you.â
âMhm. You did a number on my chest, too.â
âButââ You cut yourself off and started over. âHe hit you.â
He flashed you a smile, as careless as it was dismissive. âWhat do you want me to say, baby?â
âThat this insane. That heâs insane.â You crossed your arms over your chest, curling into yourself. âYou can leave, Satoru â we can leave together. All weâd have to do isââ The air hitched in your throat, but you managed to snarl something out. ââfucking go.â
âAnd why would we want to do that, exactly?â
âWhy wouldnât we?â
Satoru laughed, the sound breathy and light. âBecause,â he said, nuzzling into your hair, âSuguru loves me. He loves us. You should know that â after today, especially.â
You opened your mouth, but shut it just as quickly.
This time, you had a feeling that heâd given you the only answer he was going to.
The next few minutes passed slowly. Satoru kept himself occupied, pushing slow, lingering kisses into your cheek and neck, while you stared mindlessly out of the window, trying to savor the last minutes of sunlight that youâd have for a long, long time. Eventually, Satoruâs phone buzzed. He didnât even bother to check it before gathering you up in his arms and carrying you inside. You expected him to take you back to your bedroom, with its stuffed-animal lined shelves and bright pink walls and polished silver chain, but instead, he turned down a hallway youâd never seen before, into a bedroom that was distinctly not yours. Suguru was waiting for him, standing in the doorway to a dark closet. The edges of his lips quirked upward when he saw you. It wasnât quite a smile, but it was the closest thing youâd gotten to one from him all day.
Satoru placed you next to him, and your attention turned back to the closet. Any clothes or shoes had been cleared out to make room for a single, silver dog crate, nearly big enough to stretch from one wall to the other. The bottom was padded with a light pink blanket that you recognized from your bed, and a white rabbit plush had been left in the far right corner. A deadbolt hung, undone, from the open kennel door.
You mightâve broken down entirely, if you hadnât been so devastated.
Suguruâs voice was deafening and serene, as beautifully composed as it was unspeakably terrible. âGet in, love.â
âIâm notââ
âYou should probably listen to him,â Satoru cut in, placing a hand on your shoulder. âThis is just about the nicest thing he suggested.â
You swallowed, your heart failing to beat. Out of some ancient, primal, preservatory instinct, your body moved towards the crate, falling to its knees and bowing its head to fit inside. The kennel was big for a dog, not for a person. You had just enough room to huddle against the farthest wall as Suguru slid the door into place, the deadbolt locking with a sadistic click.
âIt really is a shame,â he muttered, shaking his head. âI was hoping you could be our darling princess for a little longer, but Iâm sure youâll make a much better bitch.â
Satoru helped him back to his feet, and together, they retreated back to the closet door, Satoru casting one more lovesick smile over his shoulder as he shut the door behind them, leaving you in total, endless, solitary darkness.
Your wretched sobs echoed off the barren walls as you finally started to cry.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#yandere jjk#jujutsu kaisen iimagines#yandere gojo satou#gojo satoru x reader#yandere geto suguru#geto suguru x reader
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CLAWS AND MARKS

pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader
summary: getting loganâs name tattooed on you earns you a very unexpected reaction
wc: 2k
cw: smut (nsfw), oral (fem receiving), p in v, cum play, questionable relationship dynamics, reader has a tattoo, loganâs claws come out
a/n: writing this was⌠an experience! pls donât do this iâm pretty sure youâll get an infection of some kindÂ
It's quite late. Heading to sleep is the only thing on your mind on this early September night. Your bed is warm, and so is your boyfriendâs embrace, so you rarely sleep in anything else besides your underwear.Â
You pull down your flimsy shorts and step out of them in a hurry to get under the warm sheets. Youâre left in simple black panties and, well, something else.
âWhatâs this, kid?â Logan asks, eyebrow raised in question. Shit. You turn your head to see him staring at your ass. You canât quite decipher the look on his face. Is it anger?
âOh, just something silly me and the girls did last night.â you snicker, looking back at your own butt. A fresh tattoo, which is still a bit red, takes up a small space on your right asscheek. And it reads âLoganâ in a serif font, little twirls decorating the capital letter. You canât help but feel embarrassed at the aftermath of the two margaritas you had last evening during your weekly girls night.Â
Logan approaches you with careful steps, still looking awfully intimidating (in your defense, he pretty much always does). Standing behind you now, he grabs the globes of your ass. Youâre facing the wall, cheeks red. You can feel the smirk on his face as he kneads the fat, rubbing a thumb across the ink on your body.Â
âYou really did that for your old man?â your nerves slowly start dissipating, the tone in Logan's voice developing a sultry note.Â
âMhm.â you answer, still a bit unsure.
âFuck.â is the only thing you hear being mumbled behind you before Logan picks you up by the hips and throws you on the bed. Heâs like an animal, you think to yourself, with the way he grabs your legs and drags you to the edge of the bed while getting on his knees. Your panties are off you in a second, your bare cunt exposed to the chilly air. But the open window isnât the only thing contributing to your goosebumps - the look in Logan's eyes is not one to be forgotten.
To say you feel like prey in a predatorâs claws would be an understatement. The ink on your body ignited something long forgotten in him, something that connects him with his roots, a fucked up need to mark you.Â
Loganâs mouth latches on your clit and youâre brought out of your trance as he sucks on the swollen nub. His hold on your thighs is unbelievably strong. He's holding you down as you squirm under him, submitting yourself to the pleasure his mouth brings you. His tongue licks up a long stripe between your glistening folds and sets on your puffy clit again, the kitten licks he places making it impossible to stay still.Â
Your moans get louder and louder and your elbows canât keep you up anymore. You fall back on the bed and close your eyes. The loss of one sense only sharpens the rest, Logan's hot breath on your pussy captivating your mind.
Youâre dreaming, youâre sure. The sound of Logan lapping up your juices, tongue entering your hole, is possibly the most erotic thing thatâs ever blessed your ears.Â
You donât hold back anymore, you just canât. You let your whines slip past your lips oh so loudly as Logan's nose pushes up against your clit. He himself is entranced, by your sweet arousal, by the lewd sounds youâre making.
And fuck, does he get painfully hard by listening to you moan and thrash under his hold. Even thinking about the tattoo for a moment drives him insane. He has to have you.
Youâre teetering on the edge of your release as Logan licks circles around your clit. Your breath comes out in short pants. Youâre under his mercy, begging him with helpless cries to relieve you of this painful teasing.
âLogan, please.â those are your final words before Logan's tongue flattens out against your swollen nub. Your orgasm crashes over you as you cry out his name. But he doesnât falter. He's licking and kissing, his face and beard covered in your juices. Helping you ride out your orgasm, he places slow pecks on your clit and massages your folds, rubbing them between his fingers.
Youâre propped up on your elbows, staring at him like a deer in headlights. He canât wipe that fucking smirk off his face. You feel scrutinized, like youâre under observation and heâs trying to decide how to further destroy you.
âYou scared, doll?â Logan asks.
You gulp and curse yourself for acting like this. You have no idea whatâs come over you, or him for that matter, but you just canât shake off the fear creeping up on you.
âOf course not, Logan.â you whisper. Heâs close to you now. Impossibly close. His lips are touching yours, youâre breathing into his mouth.
And then heâs kissing you, like a man gone wild. It feels like a fever dream, the way his thumb caresses your cheek in the most heartwarming way possible, the action in such contrast with the way his tongue enters your mouth, captivating you. He's hungry for you, he canât get enough. Youâre moaning into his mouth now, further egging him on. He grunts, strengthening his hold on your face as his tongue explores your mouth, leaving you breathless.
And before you know it, the familiar sound of metal passes dangerously close to your ears.Â
His claws just came out.
In a heartbeat, youâre pushed down on the bed again, Logan's huge frame towering over you. The shadow of his shiny adamantium claws on the ceiling almost urges you to murmur a quick prayer under your breath.
âLo, what are you going to do to me?â you ask.
You barely squeak it out, looking up at him through your eyelashes, but he almost cums in his pants right then and there.
âOh, baby. Thought you werenât scared, hm?â His tone is teasing, almost sarcastic. He's asking you this while slowly dragging the blunt part of his claw down your navel, getting dangerously close to your cunt. Itâs like youâre trapped, you canât move for the life of you unless you want to get hurt. The sense of impending doom creeps up your neck again and youâre truly left at his mercy this time, you think.
So then why are you getting even wetter?
âYouâre killing me here, doll. Donât you want this?â his question is dangerous, if nothing else.
âMore than anything.â Your needs betray your mind, what you just said registering a minute later, the all too lustful part of your brain working overtime to please your body.Â
Logan retracts his claws and flips you over on your tummy.
âAss up.â it's a command.
And so you follow his orders, getting on all fours. You feel as if youâre expecting a punishment, but itâs a little more exciting than it should be.
You hear shuffling behind you and soon enough, Logan's briefs are discarded on the floor, his hard cock slapping against his stomach as he frees himself. You gulp again, this time in anticipation rather than fear.
Logan grabs a hold of your hip with one of his hands as he pushes the tip of his cock past your folds. He sinks himself inside your warm and inviting pussy. The chuckle he lets out at how wet you are is loud enough for you to hear and a red tint creeps up your cheeks again.
âYouâre always so fucking tight.â Logan mumbles behind you as he begins thrusting inside your cunt. Your walls are squeezing him like a vice and he feels like a virgin thatâs about to burst. Youâre ravishing, a sight for sore eyes - on all fours for him, ever so obedient, his name imprinted on your skin. Your moans accompany the sound of his balls slapping against your ass as he picks up the pace. Itâs like a crude, fucked up harmony that you want to listen to for the rest of your life.
âHarder, please, Logan.â you plead, having absolutely lost your mind. His cock is buried deep inside your cunt and the head of his cock thrusts up against the gummy spot inside you. You can feel him in your tummy.Â
His girth twitches inside you at those words and Logan complies, he himself too lost in pleasure to tease, to even speak. He only pulls out completely and slams himself back inside you, too close to his own orgasm. Youâre arching your back, fucking yourself on his cock with all the energy you can muster. His hips roll against you with vigor, a visceral need youâve never felt exude from him before.
His fingers reach down to rub circles on your puffy clit and you whine as the pleasure becomes too much for you.
You clench around his length and he grabs your hips for support, the two of you chasing the unforgiving and much too intimate wave of ecstasy. His thrusts donât falter, your pussy clenching greedily around him, only making him go faster.Â
âYou were made for me, baby. This pussy was made for me.â his words absolutely fucking finish you. Your gummy walls clamp down on his cock as you orgasm, feeling him twitch inside you before his release also comes. You moan out Logan's name like a prayer as his thrusts get sloppier. His seed is warm and you feel full. His hands are roaming all over your ass, grabbing the fat and kneading it. His cock twitches inside you again.
Right. The tattoo.
Logan carefully pulls out of you and you whine at the feeling of emptiness as his cum slowly drips out of your pulsating hole and onto the sheets. Too lost in the moment, Logan puts two fingers inside you. Unsuspecting, you moan at his touch, too sensitive.
âFuck, Lo.â you pant out as you finally realize whatâs happening. Logan smears the remnants of his release right on the tattoo of his name. He does so with such loving touches, itâs almost comical. Youâre still catching your breath, trying your best to lean into his touch as he runs a thumb over his creation and leans down to press a loud smooch on your ass.
âPervert.â you giggle behind him.
âBut you love it.â he sneers.
TouchĂŠ.
Drained of all energy, you finally collapse on the bed, facing the ceiling. Logan hovers above you, massaging your limbs attentively. He places a kiss on both of your hands and another trail of kisses from the valley between your breasts down to your navel. Finally, he comes up to face you. You rub your nose against his lovingly and his lips finally encapture yours in a kiss almost too sweet to believe.
âDid I tire you out, baby?â he asks, scared of having hurt you while being too lost in the moment.
âNo. You know I trust you.â Logan smiles against your mouth at your words and places a kiss on your nose while grabbing your hand to hold in his.
Logan sneakily lowers himself down your body to face your pussy. He places a small kiss on your cunt, that smirk of his making a dangerous appearance again.
âThen let me taste you again.â Logan says with the same intimidating tone that started all of this, the one that foretells an engulfing, alas frightening, erotic escapade.
And so you let him. By the end of the night, youâre stained of him, every inch of your body belonging to this man, the tattoo no longer feels as significant.Â
Because the mark heâs left on you is much more visceral. And no orgasm can compare to the natural feeling of obedience which enthralls you when you lay eyes on him. A feeling perfectly sculpted to match his animalistic urges.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut
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It honestly frustrates me that so many people in the Falsettos fandom describe Whizzer as a âtwinkâ or effeminate just because he cares about his appearance and likes fashion. In the musical itself, he is portrayed as a very attractive and masculine man who loves sports. At no point is he depicted as effeminateâon the contrary, his presence and demeanor are distinctly masculine.
Now, why is it important that Whizzer is masculine? We know Marvin has always been attracted to men, but he also developed a certain aversion to femininity due to the negative experiences he had with women in his lifeâsomething that begins to change as he grows as a person. Thatâs why, when he meets Whizzer, heâs immediately captivatedânot only by his beauty but by how much his body and attitude scream âMAN.â
Whizzerâs masculinity triggers deep insecurity in Marvin about his own manhood. He knows that, in many ways, Whizzer is more of a âmanâ than he is, and that makes him feel inferiorâespecially because Whizzer is completely comfortable with his sexuality, while Marvin is still struggling. That difference enrages Marvin and is one of the key reasons behind his toxic, macho behavior toward Whizzer: he tries to force Whizzer into the role of âthe womanâ in the relationship because he canât handle feeling like the lesser man.
This is exactly why Whizzer canât be seen as a âtwink.â His masculinity is essential to the emotional dynamics of the story, particularly Marvinâs inner conflict. Seriouslyâwake up, people.


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Quiet as worship.



Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader (no use of y/n)
Summary:
You and Wanda have spent the last year walking the tightrope between secrecy and devotionânavigating judgment, age gaps, and quiet mornings that feel more sacred than any spotlight. To the world, you're just two successful women in different stages of life. But behind closed doors, you're something far more intimate. When you return home during one of Wanda's livestreamed interviews, the quiet ache to be close becomes impossible to resist. And under the deskâwhere no one can seeâyou remind her exactly who she belongs to, even when the cameraâs still rolling.
A story of stolen moments, soft worship, and the kind of love that doesnât need an audience to feel real.
TW: NFSW, oral sex (w!receiving), fingering (w!receiving), age gap relationship (legal, duh), secretish relationship, praise & worship kink (implied), power dynamics, dom!wanda, sub!reader, established relationship, fem!reader, public sex?(concealed), A/U!Celebrities, MDI.
Word Count: around 1k (it's a short one)
A/N: honestly, i've never really written anything before, (unless you count making "fanfics" on youtube when i was like 13.) i've been obsessd with elizabeth olsen lately, and really just wanted to write something short for wanda. i don't expect this to really blow up or anything but thought i'd share and may write more fics if this gets any attention. feel free to comment your thoughts or critiques, i also barely know how to navigate anything on tumblr when it comes to posting so if you have any tips for that, greatly appreciated. enjoy! :)
You and Wanda had been navigating the blurred line between secrecy and intimacy for nearly a year. It wasnât a tabloid-worthy secretânot exactlyânot to those who mattered. Your families knew. So did your closest friends. But the rest of the world? The fans, the press, the ever-watchful industry eyes? They didnât know. Not yet.
You both guarded it tightly, like something too rare and beautiful to survive under public scrutiny.
And truthfully, it wasnât the kind of love story you could explain easily.
You were 21âyoung, ambitious, a rising force in music with a voice that turned heads. Acting had become your latest frontier, a new stage to conquer. Wanda was 30âpowerful, poised, and captivating in ways that made people go silent mid-sentence. Sheâd lived through storms, carried shadows she rarely spoke of, and moved through the world with a calm intensity that demanded respect.
And that nine-year gap between you? It made people talk. Judge. Assume.
Her friends whispered their theoriesâmaybe she was chasing youth, maybe it was a passing indulgence. Your family masked concern with logic, lacing their doubt with patronizing smiles. Too young. Too complicated. As if love bowed to reason.
But none of it mattered. Not anymore.
Because it worked.
The late nights. The quiet mornings. The language spoken in glances and silences. It bloomed into something undeniable. And after nearly a year of proving the world wrong, even the skeptics had started to soften. They saw it nowâthe connection, the depth, the truth.
A month ago, you moved inâinto her secluded home nestled in the hills above L.A., wrapped in silence and red-hued sunsets that lasted just a little longer when she was beside you. It felt seamless. Like gravity.
Today had been ordinary, in the kind of way that only shared lives could make beautiful. Youâd spent the morning in the studio, lost in harmonies and half-written lyrics. Wanda had stayed home, preparing for a livestreamed interview for a film sheâd done more as a favor than anything else.
Before the call began, she left you a voice noteâlow, calm, clipped in that no-nonsense way she got when she was focused.
âIâll be live when you get back. Mic and camera on. Be good for me, okay?â
There was a softness beneath the command, and youâd smiled at the sound of it.
You got home quietly, careful with your keys and the sound of the door, trying not to disturb her. But curiosity had a gravity all its own. You told yourself you just wanted to see her.
Drifting down the hall, you paused at the half-open door of her office. Warm light poured out, casting long golden shadows. And there she was.
Wanda sat like she owned the spaceâback straight, voice smooth, answering questions with calm poise and piercing intelligence. Her hair, back to its deep auburn, framed her face in soft waves, new bangs brushing her brows and easing the sharpness of her features. She wore a loose black pantsuitâelegant and commanding, clinging to her in ways that made your pulse stutter. She didnât have to try. She just was.
And you stood there, breath caught in your throat.
She hadnât noticed you. Her eyes were on the screen. But yours? They were only on her. The curve of her mouth, the angle of her jaw, the way her fingers moved lightly across the deskâit all drew you in. Unintended seduction. Unintended, and yet devastating.
Your body responded before your mind could argue. Quietly, you stepped inside. No grand planâjust a hunger to be close. You dropped to your knees, heart hammering, and crawled beneath the desk. Her mic was angled high, her camera facing away from the lower half. She wouldnât be visible from this angle. Neither would you.
It wasnât about teasing. It wasnât about interruption. You just needed to be near her.
Face to face with her knees, you reached out, fingers ghosting over her ankles and slipping under the fabric of her pants to stroke the warm skin of her calves.
Wanda didnât flinch. Didnât skip a beat. But a subtle smile ghosted her lipsâso faint it mightâve gone unnoticed.
âI knew youâd find your way under my desk.â
Her thighs shifted, parting slightly, creating space for you. Space you moved into with reverent ease. You rested your head on her inner thigh, looking up through your lashes, just watching her speakâcaptivated. Worshipful.
Your hands trailed up, fingers pressing softly into the fabric of her slacks, drawing lazy circles on her skin beneath.
And Wanda responded in the quietest of ways.
A shift in her chair. A hand sliding down, curling beneath the desk to cradle your jaw. Another tangling into your hair, fingertips gripping gently. Guiding. Not forcing. Just showing you what she wanted.
Your cheeks burned under her touch, the intimacy of it pulling a shiver through you. You hadnât expected thisâthought maybe sheâd hush you away with a glance. But Wanda rarely did what people expected.
Hands shaking just slightly, you moved to the waistband of her pants, undoing the button with deliberate slowness. Her hips lifted, offering permission, as she kept speaking to the screen with barely a hitch.
âSo you could say the characterâs inner struggle is something many of us can relate toâŚâ
Her voice stayed calm, even as you slid the zipper down.
You pulled her pants and underwear just low enough, breath catching at the sight of herâalready wet, already wanting. She was flushed, beautiful, and utterly composed.
Leaning in, you pressed soft kisses to her inner thighs, rewarded with the quietest sigh. A gentle tug at your hairâimpatient.
You obeyed.
Your mouth found her center, tongue teasing a long stripe through her slit, savoring the taste of her. She shifted, hips rolling forward, breath catching as you sucked lightly on her clit.
âMm⌠the theme of self-discovery was important to exploreâŚâ
A subtle breathiness laced her tone, barely there but so present to you.
The wet sounds of your mouth were louder now, shame and desire twisted together in your chest as you tried to stay quiet. Your fingers joined the rhythm, slipping into her slowly, curling up to find that one perfect spot.
She gripped the chair arm harder.
âItâs about⌠facing your fears. Finding courage to be who you truly areâŚâ
You looked up at herâsweat at her brow, jaw clenched, chest rising with uneven breaths. She glanced down, and her green eyes met yoursâdark, desperate, hungry.
She was close. So close.
âThis film really shows the power of⌠of collaborationâŚâ
Her thighs trembled around your head, clamping tighter. Her hands clenched, one still buried in your hair. She was trying so hard to hold it together.
âAndâahâitâs been an honor to work with such an incredibly talented ensembleâŚâ
Her voice broke for a fraction of a second.
You knew that sound. That edge. She was there.
âThank you for having me,â she said quickly, managing a final smile for the camera. âItâs been a pleasure.â
She ended the stream in one swift motionâshutting the laptop before anyone could respond.
In a blur, she pushed her chair back, pulling you from under the desk and onto her lap with startling strength.
Her lips grazed your ear. Her voice was low, dark, commanding.
âNaughty girl. You just couldnât wait, could you?â
A shiver licked up your spine.
âYou know this isnât going unpunished.â
And you knew. God, you knew. But you didnât care. As long as it was Wanda... Youâd take anything she gave.
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff smut#female reader#reader insert#my writing#i'm not sorry#wlw#wanda x reader#wanda x you#elizabeth olsen#wanda maximoff fanfiction
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while we're both here; part five
Synopsis: Being loved may be difficult, but loving one another isn't, and you find that maybe, just maybe, it's worth the work. After reconnecting, Remus goes to find you outside the infirmary for once.
Words: 2.1k
Tags: fem!reader, undisclosed chronic illness that causes you pain and fatigue (writer has EDS and POTS), remus pov, fluff, some hurt/comfort, physical affection, remus' lycanthropy and related theatrics, disabled!remus, remus is slowly healing, establishing the relationship, happy and hopeful ending
previous part | series masterlist
Note: this is the final official part:,) however, if you liked their story and want to see drabble-form snippets of various points in their relationship, shoot me a request!
There is a disturbing amount of emotions swirling around in the cavity of Remusâ chest.Â
Hope, shame, affection, insecurity, assuredness, mixing down the drain. To drown out the chaos, he tries to let your voice in his head guide him to focus on the ones that are worthwhile.
His cane is a heavy and comforting weight in his hand as he hobbled probably a little too fast on his way to his destination; he has not the patience for his hips and knees to keep up with him, for he is a man on a mission.
Tucked away beneath his pillow in the dorm he just left behind â his matesâ chuffed sniggers following him down the hall â is a magical map that he had hunted you down on, his finger tracing the ink that spelled out your name in a faraway corner of the library. With the end of year etching closer, it made sense that you would be holed up there with your final essays.
Before summer comes in to affect your dynamic, Remus had an overwhelming desire to spend time with you outside the infirmary. He doubted a change of scenery would affect his feelings for you, it was more so the growing incessant need to be close to you. This is the most real thing he had ever had the terrifying pleasure of having, and even so, he felt a need to further cement whatever you had to ensure it stays that way.
The cold stones surrounding him as he walked the final stretch to the library were familiar, the confines of a home he has had for years on end. He was still overwhelmed by the thought that he would get to leave with a found family of best mates, something he never expected. To think that he might have found love, too, was more than he could handle.
Might. Remus chuckled at himself. Not many nights have passed since you were cleared by Madam Pomfrey to go back to your real dorm, but even during that short period of time, Remus knew better than to question it.
He was in love.Â
Perhaps that was stupid of him, perhaps his father would even tell him as much if he dared have you over, if he dared make plans for the future that included you. Nevertheless, it was Remusâ reality.
The most tangible evidence of his love was now just a few metres away â he memorised exactly which spot you sat in â as he entered the Hogwarts Library, gait somewhat crooked. His cane was a deep maroon, given to him as a gift from James and his parents a few Christmases ago. You had recently helped Remus decorate it by wrapping a string of tiny crocheted silver stars around it, spelling it to stay put and sparkle.Â
He felt oddly confident walking through the library with this cane as an amalgamation of the people he loved most; a far cry from the embarrassed 12 year old who once roamed the halls with a plastic crutch.
You had chosen a secluded corner of the library, hidden away by yourself in an alcove carved into the stone wall, lined with flickering candles on the walls and padded with purple cushions. A shy smile spread over Remusâ face as he saw you, taking in the way you sat crisscrossed on the bench, absentmindedly massaging your calves while you read the massive book laid down in front of you, dust dancing out from it in the sunlight. The same sunlight caressed your skin beautifully, drawing forth your inner shine that always captivated Remus so.
You hadnât noticed him yet. Remus slowly closed in on you, too distracted by your familiar beauty to take a closer look at what book youâre reading.
As if you picked up on the distinct sound of Remusâ steps, you looked up. Surprise flashed in your eyes for but a second before they were filled with a warmth that made his fingertips tingle, a barely subdued grin taking over your expression.
âHi there, stranger,â you said quietly as he got closer, leaning forward on the table. âFancy seeing you here.â
âYou mean outside the infirmary?â Remus stopped in front of your table, leaning his good hip against it and crossing his arms. The polite almost-flirting tone he extended you when you first met felt much more genuine now, abated by slight nerves. He added softly, âHey, dove.â
Remus let himself believe you relaxed at the sound of his voice, pushing down the sensation of how dangerously far gone he was becoming.
âI thought you boys were banned from the library,â you teased, smile prevalent. You lifted a challenging brow at him.
âAh, no, that's just James and Sirius. Wormtail and I are still in Madam Pinceâs good books, and are trying to use our repertoire with her to get them unbanned.â Remusâ eyes filled with even more mirth at the snort you let out at his friendâs nickname.
âWell, Iâm glad to see you. Whatâre you here for?â
At that, Remus reached up to scratch the back of his head, chuckling nervously. Normally he might have tried to play it off, but after your conversation about openness and honesty, he couldnât even bring himself to want to do that. âI came looking for you, actually. Figured you might fancy some company?â
Might fancy spending time with me, specifically, he hoped silently.
Your eyes crinkled as you let out a soft laugh. âIâ yeah, of course. Settle down.â
Remus did, resting his cane against the table carefully before he slid in on the opposite side of the alcove, all the way around so he almost sat arm in arm with you. Close enough that your knee brushed his thigh in its curled up position.Â
Only then did the illustration on the book in front of you catch his eye â a sketch of the different moon phases.
His breath caught in his throat as he froze, properly focussing on the book now. It was massive and clearly ancient, the ink meandering across the space, one repeated word seemingly screaming out at him: âThe Wolfâ, always capitalised.
He didnât know how to process what he saw, so he just looked up at you, lips quivering as if uncertain whether to smile and frown. His silent question floated between you.
You acted nonplussed, but it was clearly a put-on front, shyness and fondness simmering beneath the surface. âThis oneâs quite outdated,â you began to explain, âbut I figured itâs helpful to read how academics used to discuss the matter to better understand how lycanthropy was received over the years. I finished reading Scamanderâs take on it earlier, which was much more empathetic and refined.â Beside you was a small notebook that Remus could now see was nearly full, your quill resting on top of it, still wet .
Remusâ lips remained slightly parted, his voice hoarse as he spoke. âYou⌠youâre doing research? For⌠me?â
You shrugged, as if this didnât turn his world upside down, as if it didnât mean everything to him and more. âI mean, you did it for me. With everything. And I know itâs much harder to find muggle medical textbooks in a place like this than it is to find information about lycanthropes.â
The laugh that escaped him was wet and breathy, his mind still not having quite caught up. âIt wasnât that difficult, Madam Pince is rather helpful. And this⌠this is something else entirely, dove.â
âI just donât want a lack of knowledge to be a barrier between us,â you said quietly, seemingly trying to downplay the care in your gesture. âI want you to be able to speak freely with me about lycanthropy, without me having to ask about everything.â Remus opened his mouth to answer, but you hurriedly added, âThough, of course, if you want to explain something yourself, please do. Lived experience always trumps dusty books.â
He stared at you with nothing short of awe, uncertain what to say and whether you would ever understand how much this meant to him. There were no words, so all he could offer was, âYou, uh, can just call us werewolves. Lycanthropy is a mouthful.â
Your smile suggested his expression was easy to read. âAlright, I will,â you whispered, voice soft.
âThank you, love. Really.â He let out a longer breath, relaxing into his seat and looking sideways at you with a quivering smile. âYouâre really doing this for me?â
âOf course. I want to be there for you.â You held his gaze up until that point before swallowing, looking down to your book. âFriends, right?â
Remus knew, in his heart of hearts, that it was now or never.
âRight. And⌠and if I wanted to be more than friends? If I wanted to spend time with you, not just while weâre both here, but when weâre anywhere, together?â
Your previously shy smile became borderline unabashed now, lighting up both his life and your eyes as you met his again. âThen, I guess I would ask you why you havenât invited me to Hogsmeade yet?â
Remusâ heart thundered in his chest as he placed his hands on the table, slowly circling his pinky around yours. This felt like a dream. âWell, Iâve seen how you always flare up afterwards. I didnât want that to happen because of me.â
Which was true. It was also because he was a coward, but he figured you didnât need to hear that; he was certain you already knew. He was a lucky bastard, though, because you didnât seem to mind.
You laughed good-naturedly, shaking your head. âI have a flare-up every two to three business days, Lupin. If I have one because I get to spend time with you, it would have been a worthy sacrifice, at least in my books.â
âYeah?â Remus breathed out, feeling like he was floating on air. Like the unbelievable had happened â because it had. He was walking with someone, and that someone was you.
âYeah.â You nodded emphatically, emotion swirling in your gorgeous eyes.
Remus used his pinky around yours to properly intertwine your hands. Passerbys would see you holding hands and sitting close in a library alcove, and probably assume you were together. The thought exhilarated him even more when he realised they wouldnât be far off.Â
âThis Friday good for you?â he asked.
âYeah, I think so. Hope so.â You looked somewhat nervous, but he could tell it was because of you and not because of him or the prospect of going out. He squeezed your hand.
âIf it winds up being a bad day, we can always just spend the night in the infirmary, dove. I would like to be anywhere with you, familiar or new,â he murmured reassuringly.
Your eyes softened as you held his gaze, whatever slight tension that had been building in your shoulders melting away. Remus dared think you looked like you felt safe. âThank you,â you mumbled. âThe sentiment is shared.â
You leaned sideways to rest your head on his shoulder, shuffling closer so that you could lean your crisscrossed knee on top of his thigh. Each place where your bodies touched served as a grounding point for Remus, anchoring himself to you and the world. He was beginning to understand what peace feels like.
Abruptly, your head shot up and you furrowed your brows at him, as if struck with a thought. âWaitâ how did you know I would be here?â you wondered, voice not accusatory but certainly intrigued.
Remus let out a breathy laugh, not having expected to have to explain himself. Though, for once, he found himself not opposed to doing so. âOh, that, uhâ that is one of the many secrets of mine that Iâll be peeling open for you, love. Though, preferably somewhere less crowded.â
You made a show of looking around at the sparse students sitting scattered at tables around you, as if you were undercover detectives on high alert. âYou and your secrets, Remus Lupin.â
âTheyâre all yours, if you want them.â His voice was more suave than he was feeling.
Your smile widened just for him. âI want them.â
Remusâ heart chose to interpret that as I want you. âIâll spill it all in private, dovey, just you wait.â
You leaned further against him, smile taking on a more deviant undertone. âAre you saying you want to whisk me away to somewhere more intimate, then?â
The tops of Remusâ ears felt warm in a way that warned him they were surely turning red. He swallowed heavily, but it didnât diminish his wide smile.
âI would love nothing more, dove.â
And that, he did.
#while we're both here#wwbh#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x disabled!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin series#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin imagine#disabled!remus#marauders#marauders au#marauders era#maruaders era reader insert#marauders fic#marauders x reader#carina's writing#remus x reader#remus x you#remus x y/n
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â¤ď¸âđĽâ¤ď¸âđĽ Pick A Pile: Your Future Lover Is Craving You: Their Love Letter For Youâ¤ď¸âđĽâ¤ď¸âđĽ
đWelcome to 7 Days, 7 Posts! In honor of Valentineâs Day on February 14th, Iâm releasing seven blog posts dedicated to love, intimacy, passion, and everything that ignites the flames. Join me on this journey as I share my insights through tarot.
If you enjoy my content, be sure to follow me, explore my other posts, and check out my paid services! đ
Pile 1
Dear Love,
I am your future lover, and I want to express some things to you. When I come into your life, you will be at a point where you are thrivingâconfident, charismatic, and looking incredible. I will see that, and I will want that. I will be drawn to you, captivated by your energy. Among everyone else, you will be the one who stands out, the one whose presence is magnetic. Your personality will sparkle, full of charm and individuality, and I will fall for youâhard.
In falling for you, I will feel a release from my past. You will bring a fresh, revitalizing energy that makes me forget what came before, not out of avoidance, but because I will be so immersed in the present moment with you. You will be my peaceânot someone who brings conflict or resistance, but someone who walks alongside me on my journey. We will share aligned values, deep compatibility, and a natural ease in our connection. Communication between us will flow effortlessly, and doing things togetherâplanning dates, traveling, working toward goalsâwill feel seamless.
With you, life will feel lighter. You will ground me while also pushing me forward. I will not just see you as my partner in love, but as my partner in lifeâsomeone with whom I can build, create, and overcome. We will support each other in ways that make our struggles feel surmountable. Whatever strengths I have, I will pour into you. Whatever strengths you have, you will pour into me. And together, we will work through our weaknesses, strengthening each other as we go.
I believe our love story will begin beautifully, with an intoxicating yet healing energy. It will be filled with joy, passion, and growth. And I do believe we will build a family togetherâhave children, create a home, and establish a life that intertwines us even deeper. But I also feel that at some point, the challenges of family life may slow us down. The growth we experience in the beginning may stall as we adjust to the reality of having children. While our relationship will bring expansion in many ways, the responsibilities of family lifeâpregnancy, childbirth, financial strainsâmay present hurdles that test us.
At first, we will be in constant motion, moving forward, achieving, and evolving. But when children enter the picture, the dynamic may shift. The focus will turn inwardâtoward home, stability, and responsibilitiesâand while that is a beautiful thing, it may also challenge us. Financial adjustments, the strain of new responsibilities, and the weight of building a solid foundation may make things feel difficult for a while. We may find ourselves struggling to navigate the balance between love and responsibility, between passion and obligation.
Even through those struggles, I will still want to be there for you. I will still want to stand beside you. No matter the challenges we faceâwhether itâs financial strain, growing pains, or adjusting to a new lifeâI will be by your side. You will be my person, my love, through the thick and thin. And even when things get tough, I know that we will find our way, because our love will be built on something real, something strong, something worth holding onto.
Sincerely,
Your Future Lover
Pile 2
Dear Love,
This is your future lover, and I am writing to you to share what our future love will be.
When I meet you, it will be a time in my life when I deeply desire a partnerâsomeone I can love, someone I can devote myself to, someone I can be patient with. I want something that builds over time, something solid and unshakable. I crave immense love, loyalty, and stability, and you will be the person I want to experience all of that with.
I will want you so badly. I will crave your presence, the warmth of your body, the scent of your skin. Wearing your clothes and feeling the lingering trace of your cologne or perfume will make me feel at home. I will cherish holding your hand, rubbing your thigh, massaging your hair, and gazing into your eyes. The simple thingsâsharing meals, cooking for each other, taking showers together, drinking tea or coffee while talking for hoursâwill fill my soul. Every moment with you will feel rich and meaningful.
We will talk every day, check in with each other, and build a connection that feels like forever. You will bring me so much satisfaction, so much pleasure. We will experience joy in the little thingsâgoing out to eat, exploring the town, having game nights, watching movies, singing karaoke, baking together, and just being silly. Our love will be deeply physical, deeply emotional. We will devour each other with our eyes and cherish moments of intimacy. We will affirm each other, pour into each other, and give one another the love we have always needed but never fully received.
Being with you will feel like an awakeningâlike my prayers have been answered, like my manifestations have come to life. You will be the one, my solid foundation, the person I am most loyal to. Our love will be something to bask in, something undeniable and powerful.
But love is not without its challenges. We are human. Life is not perfect.
In the beginning, we will be swept up in the beauty of our connection, focused on the love, the passion, and the excitement of our future. But there will be things left unsaidâtruths we havenât shared, details we overlooked. And eventually, those things will resurface. The unspoken will come to light, forcing us to see our relationship from a new perspective.
This revelation will put us in a difficult placeâa rocky, tumultuous period where we will need space from each other. I donât believe we will separate forever, but I do believe we will need time apart to process everything, to reflect, and to be honest with ourselves. Our loyalty to each other will make it hard to walk away completely, but the weight of what we learn may make it impossible to continue as we were.
Do I think this break will last long? No, but I do believe it will be necessary. We will need time to sit with the truth, to hold ourselves accountable, and to return to each other with honesty, not just devotion. When we find our way back, our love will not just be about loyalty for loyaltyâs sakeâit will be real, raw, and built on a foundation of truth.
I look forward to meeting you. I hope our story doesnât scare you.
Sincerely,
Your Future Lover
Pile 3
Dear Love,
This is your future lover, writing you a love letter to tell you how things will unfold between us.
I am so excited to meet you because when I do, I will be in a period of my life where I deeply want you. I will crave you, and everything about you will satiate that longing. You will bring something into my life that is beautifully predictableânot the kind of predictability that is boring, but the kind that is comforting. You will be like warm tea after a cold day, like soft blankets fresh out of the dryer wrapping around me. When I lay beside you at night, caressing your skin as you fall asleep, you will be my comfort and peace. You will be the bed I collapse into after a long day.
You will be the person I devote myself to. When I look into your eyes, I will knowâyou are the one. I will see in you something I deeply crave, something solid and grounding. Your presence will feel like a highânot because I am high, but because being around you will fill me with a new energy, something I have never felt before. I will get wrapped up in who you are.
But our relationship will not be easy. It will be difficultâvery difficult.
As much as I want to devote myself to you, as much as I want to be your one and only, I feel like our connection will be filled with pain. I donât even know if we will make it to a full relationship because I sense that before we even reach that point, things will begin to unravel. It will feel like everything is working against us, preventing us from truly coming together as life partners. The idea of us reaching the heights of marriage or long-term commitment will feel just out of reach. And that is unbelievably sad.
Our story will be filled with pain, drama, and unexpected twistsâmoments that leave us questioning why something that feels so good can turn so bad. Why us?
I believe that when we meet, we will both be in a period of isolationânot very social, not out in the world, just existing in the monotony of daily life. It will be a time of routineâwaking up, going to work, coming home, repeating the cycle. When we find each other, we will break that routine. We will awaken something in each other, pulling ourselves out of our shells. At first, it will feel exciting, like a spark reigniting within us.
But we wonât be ready for the kind of love we feel.
Instead of healing before we met, we will have spent our time avoiding. We may have reflected on the past, but we will not have truly healed from it. And because of this, our traumas will surface, our wounds will reopen, and the love we crave will collide with the pain we have yet to confront.
I donât think we will ever make it to a full relationship. We will recognize that, despite our longing for each other, we are not truly ready. And though this awareness wonât be enough to shield us from the inevitable pain, it will be enough to stop us from forcing something that is not healthy.
I see a pattern repeatingâa past that refuses to stay in the past. Old wounds, unresolved issues, and lingering scars will rise again. One of us will want more, will strive for something deeper, while the other will remain stuckâcaught in the grip of trauma, unable to move forward. This imbalance will become the defining struggle of our connection. One of us will crave devotion, while the other will be weighed down by pain.
And then, the chaos will come. Sudden changes, unexpected upheavalsâcircumstances that will rip us apart before we ever truly come together.
In the end, I fear I will walk away from this feeling wounded, betrayed, and heartbrokenâlike I have been stabbed in the back, left to pick myself up from the floor while you walk away, already familiar with this kind of pain.
Maybe you are the wrong person for me. Maybe you are still stuck on your pastâon an ex, on memories you havenât let go of, on pain you havenât confronted. Maybe I will fall for your physical presence, for the way you move, the way you look, the way you make me feel, without realizing the weight of everything you carry underneath.
Perhaps thatâs where I go wrongâfalling for the illusion, for the pleasure, for the way you ignite something within me, only to later uncover the wounds you hide beneath the surface.
Meeting you will feel like a chefâs kiss, like watching the sunriseâsomething breathtaking and beautiful. But the ending will be tragic. I will be left on the floor, knives in my back, while you walk away, untouched, as if this was always meant to happen.
I hope we do not follow this path. But if we do, know that I will always wish you the best, because I understandâthere are some things in life that we simply cannot control.
Sincerely,
Your Future Lover
Pile 4
Dear Love,
This is your future lover, writing you your first love letter.
When I first meet you, I know youâll play hard to get. Youâll have your walls up, your defenses high, unwilling to let me in. Youâll act strong, solidâlike no one can break through your barriers. Youâll put on a bravado, a show of indifference. If I speak sweetly to you, youâll pretend to be unfazed, unaffected. Youâll give me the cold shoulder, acting as if youâre too busy, too focused, too independent to entertain me. When I call, you might tell me you have something to do, just to avoid letting me in. Even though you know I want to speak to you, to serenade you with beautiful words, youâll resist. Not because you donât want me, but because youâre afraid to let me in.
I know youâll find me attractiveâmesmerizing, magnetic evenâbut something in you will tell you to keep your guard up. And youâll listen to it. But the thing is, I like a little challenge. I like a person who plays hard to get, who has resilience, who doesnât fold so easily. Because if you have the strength to keep your walls up, I know youâll have the strength to love me fiercely when you finally let them down.
At first, itâll frustrate me. Iâll want to take you out, to spend time with you, to be near you. Youâll look so good, carrying yourself with grace and charm, and I wonât be able to resist wanting you. But since youâll keep playing hard to get, Iâll have to fall back. I wonât push too hard because I respect your space. Youâll winâfor a while. Iâll step back and let you do your thing. But that wonât stop me from thinking about you. How could I? Someone as beautiful, as handsome, as captivating as you isnât easily forgotten.
And then, one day, youâll reach out. After all the games, after all the pretending, after all the walls you built, youâll fold. Youâll hit me up out of nowhere, and I wonât even be expecting it. By then, Iâll have accepted that maybe you just werenât ready, that maybe we werenât meant to be. But when you finally text or call, Iâll be caught off guard, pleasantly surprised.
Iâll realize then that you never rejected meâyou were just dealing with your own baggage. Maybe you were still caught up in a past relationship, still healing from old wounds. Maybe youâd been played before and thought I was just another person who would do the same. But I never wanted to play with your emotions. I only wanted to love you. Loyalty means everything to me, and when I say Iâm loyal, I mean it.
Once you open up to me, everything will fall into place. The timing will be perfect. When I chased you, it wasnât right. But when you come to me willingly, it will be. Weâll start talking, and itâll feel effortless. Weâll have fun, laugh together, share our secrets, and grow closer. Youâll finally let me hold you, and Iâll never want to let go.
Our intimacy will be intense, our connection undeniable. Weâll be on the phone for hours, sending texts all day, spending every moment we can together. Being with you will feel like home. Itâll feel like weâve known each other forever, like our souls recognize each other. Youâll be my soulmate, and Iâll be yours.
I wonât just want youâIâll need you. Youâll be my forever person, the one I want to build a life with, the one I want to create a family with. Together, weâll move forward, leaving behind the past and embracing a future filled with love, trust, and devotion.
Our relationship will be built on reciprocityâgiving, receiving, showing up for each other in ways no one else ever has. And no matter what life throws at us, I will love you. I do love you. I always will, forever and always.
Sincerely,
Your Future Lover
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