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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years ago

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Anonymous asked: I have always appreciated your thoughtful views on the defence of the British monarchy, and as a university historian it’s reassuring to see someone using history to make invalubale insights to a controversial institution. I wonder what are your own thoughts on the passing of Prince Philip and what his legacy might be? Was he a gaffe prone racist and a liability to the Queen?

I know you kindly got in touch and identified yourself when you felt I was ignoring your question. I’m glad we cleared that up via DM. The truth is as I said and I’m saying here is that I had to let some time pass before I felt I could reasonably answer this question. Simply because - as you know as someone who teaches history at university - distance is good to make a sober appraisal rather than knee jerk in the moment judgements.

Contrary to what some might think I’m not really a fan girl when it comes to the royal family. I don’t religiously follow their every movement or utterance especially as I live in Paris and therefore I don’t really care about tabloid tittle tattle. I only get to hear of anything to do with the royal family when I speak to my parents or my great aunts and uncles for whom the subject is closer to their heart because of the services my family has rendered over past generations to the monarchy and the older (and dying) tight knit social circles they travel in.

Like Walter Bagehot, I’m more interested in the monarchy as an institution and its constitutional place within the historical, social, and political fabric of Britain and its continued delicate stabilising importance to that effect. It was Walter Bagehot, the great constitutional scholar and editor the Economist magazine, who said, “The mystic reverence, the religious allegiance, which are essential to a true monarchy, are imaginative sentiments that no legislature can manufacture in any people.” In his view, a politically-inactive monarchy served the best interests of the United Kingdom; by abstaining from direct rule, the monarch levitated above the political fray with dignity, and remained a respected personage to whom all subjects could look to as a guiding light.

Even as a staunch monarchist I freely confess that there has always been this odd nature of the relationship between hereditary monarchy and a society increasingly ambivalent about the institution. To paraphrase Bagehot again, there has been too much ‘daylight’ shone onto the ‘magic’ of the monarchy because we are obsessed with personalities as celebrities.

Having said that I did feel saddened by the passing of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. After the Queen, he was my favourite royal. Anne, Princess Royal, would come next because she is very much like her father in temperament, humour, and character, so unlike her other brothers.

I have met the late Prince Philip when I was serving in the army in a few regimental meet-and-greet situations - which as you may know is pretty normal given that members of the royal family serve as honorary colonel-in-chiefs (patrons in effect) of all the British army regiments and corps.I also saw him at one or two social events such the annual charitable Royal Caledonian Ball (he’s an expert scottish reeler) and the Guards Polo Club where my older brothers played.

I’ll will freely confess that he was the one royal I could come close to identify with because his personal biography resonated with me a great deal.

Let’s be honest, the core Windsor family members, born to privilege, are conditioned and raised to be dull. Perhaps that’s a a tad harsh. I would prefer the term ‘anonymously self-effacing’, just another way of saying ‘for God’s sake don’t draw attention to yourself by saying or doing anything even mildly scandalous or political lest it invites public opprobrium and scrutiny’. The Queen magnificently succeeds in this but the others from Charles down just haven’t (with the exception of Princess Anne).

However, many people forget this obvious fact that it’s the incoming husbands and wives who marry into the Windsor family who are relied upon to bring colour and even liven things up a little. And long before Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle (very briefly), or Lady Diana Spencer, were the stars of ‘The Firm’- a phrase first coined by King George VI, Queen Elizabeth II's father who ruled from 1936 to 1952, who was thought to have wryly said, "British royals are 'not a family, we're a firm,” - it was Prince Philip who really livened things up and made the greater impact on the monarchy than any of them in the long term.

Prince Philip’s passing belied the truth of a far more complex individual: a destitute and penniless refugee Greek-Danish prince with a heart breaking backstory that could have been penned by any 19th Century novelist, and also eagle eyed reformer who tried to drag the royal family into the 20th century. At the core of the man - lost scion of a lost European royal dynasty, a courageous war veteran, and Queen’s consort - were values in which he attempted to transform and yet maintain much older inherited traditions and attitudes. Due to his great longevity, Philip’s life came to span a period of social change that is almost unprecedented, and almost no one in history viewed such a transformation from the front row.

Prince Philip would seem to represent in an acute form the best of the values of that era, which in many ways jar with today’s. He had fought with great courage in the war as a dashing young naval officer; he was regularly rude to foreigners, which was obviously a bonus to all Brits. He liked to ride and sail and shoot things. He was unsentimental almost to a comic degree, which felt reassuring at a time when a new-found emotional incontinence made many feel uncomfortable. Outrageous to some but endearing to others, he was the sort of man you’d want to go for a pint with, perhaps the ultimate compliment that an Englishman can pay to another Englishman. This has its own delicious irony as he wasn’t really an Englishman.

There are 4 takeways I would suggest in my appraisal of Prince Philip that stand out for me. So let me go through each one.

1. Prince Philip’s Internationalism

It may seem odd for me to say that Prince Philip wasn’t English but he wasn’t an Englishman in any real sense. He was a wretch of the world - stateless, homeless, and penniless. That the Prince of Nowhere became the British Monarchy’s figurehead was more than fitting for a great age of migration and transition in which the Royal Family survived and even flourished. That he was able to transform himself into the quintessential Englishman is testimony not just to his personal determination but also to the powerful cultural pull of Britishness.

He was born on a kitchen table in Corfu in June 1921. A year later in 1922, Philip, as the the great-great-grandson of Queen Victoria and nephew of Constantine I of Greece, was forced to flee with his family after the abdication of Constantine. He grew up outside Paris speaking French; ethnically he was mostly German although he considered himself Danish, his family originating from the Schleswig border region. He was in effect, despite his demeanour of Royal Navy officer briskness, a citizen of nowhere in an age of movement. From a very young age he was a stateless person, nationally homeless. Indeed, Philip was an outsider in a way that even Meghan Markle could never be; at his wedding in 1947, his three surviving sisters and two brothers-in-law were not permitted to attend because they were literally Britain’s enemies, having fought for the Germans. A third brother-in-law had even been in the SS, working directly for Himmler, but had been killed in the conflict.

Even his religion was slightly exotic. He was Greek Orthodox until he converted to Anglicanism on marrying Elizabeth - what with his wife due to become supreme head of the Church and everything - but his ties with eastern Christianity remained. His great-aunts Princess Elisabeth of Hesse and by Rhine and Tsarina Alexandra are both martyrs of the Russian Orthodox Church, having been murdered by the Bolsheviks; Philip’s mother went on to become an Orthodox nun and a “Righteous Among the Nations” for saving a Jewish family during the Nazi occupation of Greece, spending much of her time in squalid poverty.

His parents were part of the largely German extended aristocracy who ruled almost all of Europe before it all came crashing down in 1918. When he died, aged 99, it marked a near-century in which all the great ideological struggles had been and gone; he had been born before the Soviet Union but outlived the Cold War, the War on Terror and - almost - Covid-19.

The world that Philip was born into was a far more violent and dangerous place than ours. In the year he was born, Irish rebels were still fighting Black and Tans; over the course of 12 months the Spanish and Japanese prime ministers were assassinated, there was a coup in Portugal and race riots in the United States. Germany was rocked by violence from the far-Left and far-Right, while in Italy a brutal new political movement, the Fascists, secured 30 seats in parliament, led by a trashy journalist called Benito Mussolini.

The worst violence, however, took place in Greece and Turkey. Following the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, what remained of Turkey was marked for permanent enfeeblement by the Allies. But much to everyone’s surprise the country’s force were roused by the brilliant officer Mustafa Kemal, who led the Turks to victory. Constantinople was lost to Christendom for good and thousands of years of Hellenic culture was put to the flames in Smyrna.

The Greek royal family, north German imports shipped in during the 19th century, bore much of the popular anger for this disaster. King Constantine fled to Italy, and his brother Andrew was arrested and only escaped execution through the intervention of his relative Britain’s George V. Andrew’s wife Alice, their four daughters and infant son Philip fled to France, completely impoverished but with the one possession that ensures that aristocrats are never truly poor: connections.

Philip had a traumatic childhood. He was forged by the turmoil of his first decade and then moulded by his schooling. His early years were spent wandering, as his place of birth ejected him, his family disintegrated and he moved from country to country, none of them ever his own. When he was just a year old, he and his family were scooped up by a British destroyer from his home on the Greek island of Corfu after his father had been condemned to death. They were deposited in Italy. One of Philip's first international journeys was spent crawling around on the floor of the train from an Italian port city, "the grubby child on the desolate train pulling out of the Brindisi night," as his older sister Sophia later described it.

In Paris, he lived in a house borrowed from a relative; but it was not destined to become a home. In just one year, while he was at boarding school in Britain, the mental health of his mother, Princess Alice, deteriorated and she went into an asylum; his father, Prince Andrew, went off to Monte Carlo to live with his mistress. "I don't think anybody thinks I had a father," he once said. Andrew would die during the war. Philip went to Monte Carlo to pick up his father's possessions after the Germans had been driven from France; there was almost nothing left, just a couple of clothes brushes and some cuff-links.

Philip’s four sisters were all much older, and were soon all married to German aristocrats (the youngest would soon die in an aeroplane crash, along with her husband and children). His sisters became ever more embroiled in the German regime. In Scotland going to Gordonstoun boarding school, Philip went the opposite direction, becoming ever more British. Following the death of his sister Cecilie in a plane crash in 1937, the gulf widened. As the clouds of conflict gathered, the family simply disintegrated. With a flash of the flinty stoicism that many would later interpret, with no little justification, as self-reliance to the point of dispassion, the prince explained: “It’s simply what happened. The family broke up… I just had to get on with it. You do. One does.”

In the space of 10 years he had gone from a prince of Greece to a wandering, homeless, and virtually penniless boy with no-one to care for him. He got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

By the time he went to Gordonstoun, a private boarding school on the north coast of Scotland, Philip was tough, independent and able to fend for himself; he'd had to be. Gordonstoun would channel those traits into the school's distinct philosophy of community service, teamwork, responsibility and respect for the individual. And it sparked one of the great passions of Philip's life - his love of the sea. It was Gordonstoun that nurtured that love through the maturation of his character.

Philip adored the school as much as his son Charles would despise it. Not just because the stress it put on physical as well as mental excellence - he was a great sportsman. But because of its ethos, laid down by its founder Kurt Hahn, a Jewish exile from Nazi Germany.

Hahn first met Philip as a boy in Nazi Germany. Through a connection via one of his sister’s husbands, Philip, the poor, lonely boy was first sent off to a new school - in Nazi Germany. Which was as fun as can be imagined. Schloss Salem had been co-founded by stern educator called Kurt Hahn, a tough, discipline-obsessed conservative nationalist who saw civilisation in inexorable decline. But by this stage Hahn, persecuted for being Jewish in Nazi Germany, had fled to Britain, and Philip did not spend long at the school either, where pressure from the authorities was already making things difficult for the teachers. Philip laughed at the Nazis at first, because their salute was the same gesture the boys at his previous school had to make when they wanted to go to the toilet, but within a year he was back in England, a refugee once again.

Philip happily attended Hahn’s new school, Gordonstoun, which the strict disciplinarian had set up in the Scottish Highlands. Inspired by Ancient Sparta, the boys (and then later girls) had to run around barefoot and endure cold showers, even in winter, the whole aim of which was to drive away the inevitable civilisational decay Hahn saw all around him. To 21st century ears it sounds like hell on earth, yet Philip enjoyed it, illustrating just what a totally alien world he came from.

That ethos became a significant, perhaps the significant, part of the way that Philip believed life should be lived. It shines through the speeches he gave later in his life. "The essence of freedom," he would say in Ghana in 1958, "is discipline and self-control." The comforts of the post-war era, he told the British Schools Exploring Society a year earlier, may be important "but it is much more important that the human spirit should not be stifled by easy living". And two years before that, he spoke to the boys of Ipswich School of the moral as well as material imperatives of life, with the "importance of the individual" as the "guiding principle of our society".

It was at Gordonstoun one of the great contradictions of Philip's fascinating life was born. The importance of the individual was what in Kurt Hahn's eyes differentiated Britain and liberal democracies from the kind of totalitarian dictatorship that he had fled. Philip put that centrality of the individual, and individual agency - the ability we have as humans to make our own moral and ethical decisions - at the heart of his philosophy.

At Dartmouth Naval College in 1939, the two great passions of his life would collide. He had learned to sail at Gordonstoun; he would learn to lead at Dartmouth. And his driving desire to achieve, and to win, would shine through. Despite entering the college far later than most other cadets, he would graduate top of his class in 1940. In further training at Portsmouth, he gained the top grade in four out of five sections of the exam. He became one of the youngest first lieutenants in the Royal Navy.

The navy ran deep in his family. His maternal grandfather had been the First Sea Lord, the commander of the Royal Navy; his uncle, "Dickie" Mountbatten, had command of a destroyer while Philip was in training. In war, he showed not only bravery but guile. It was his natural milieu. "Prince Philip", wrote Gordonstoun headmaster Kurt Hahn admiringly, "will make his mark in any profession where he will have to prove himself in a trial of strength".

2. Prince Philip and the modernisation of the monarchy

In his own words, the process of defining what it meant to be a royal consort was one of “trial and error.” Speaking with BBC One’s Fiona Bruce in 2011, Philip explained, “There was no precedent. If I asked somebody, 'What do you expect me to do?' they all looked blank. They had no bloody idea, nobody had much idea.” So he forged for himself a role as a moderniser of the monarchy.

He could not have had much idea back in 1939. Back then in Dartmouth in 1939, as war became ever more certain, the navy was his destiny. He had fallen in love with the sea itself. "It is an extraordinary master or mistress," he would say later, "it has such extraordinary moods." But a rival to the sea would come.

When King George VI toured Dartmouth Naval College, accompanied by Philip's uncle, he brought with him his daughter, Princess Elizabeth. Philip was asked to look after her. He showed off to her, vaulting the nets of the tennis court in the grounds of the college. He was confident, outgoing, strikingly handsome, of royal blood if without a throne. She was beautiful, a little sheltered, a little serious, and very smitten by Philip.

Did he know then that this was a collision of two great passions? That he could not have the sea and the beautiful young woman? For a time after their wedding in 1948, he did have both. As young newlyweds in Malta, he had what he so prized - command of a ship - and they had two idyllic years together. But the illness and then early death of King George VI brought it all to an end.

He knew what it meant, the moment he was told. Up in a lodge in Kenya, touring Africa, with Princess Elizabeth in place of the King, Philip was told first of the monarch's death in February 1952. He looked, said his equerry Mike Parker, "as if a ton of bricks had fallen on him". For some time he sat, slumped in a chair, a newspaper covering his head and chest. His princess had become the Queen. His world had changed irrevocably.

While the late Princess Diana was later to famously claim that there were “three people” in her marriage - herself, Prince Charles and Camilla - there were at least 55 million in Philip and Elizabeth’s. As Elizabeth dedicated her life to her people at Westminster Abbey at the Coronation on June 2, 1953, it sparked something of an existential crisis in Philip. Many people even after his death have never really understood this pivotal moment in Philip’s life. All his dreams of being a naval officer and a life at sea as well as being the primary provider and partner in his marriage were now sacrificed on the altar of duty and love.

With his career was now over, and he was now destined to become the spare part. Philip, very reasonably, asked that his future children and indeed his family be known by his name, Mountbatten. In effect he was asking to change the royal family’s name from the House of Windsor to the House of Mountbatten. But when Prime Minister Winston Churchill got wind of it as well as the more politically agile courtiers behind the Queen, a prolonged battle of wits ensued, and it was one Philip ultimately lost. It was only in 1957 that he accepted the title of “Prince.”

Even though he had almost lost everything dear to him and his role now undefined, he didn’t throw himself a pity party. He just got on with it. Philip tried to forge his own distinct role as second fiddle to the woman who had come to represent Great Britain. He designated himself the First Officer of the Good Ship Windsor. He set about dusting off some of the cobwebs off the throne and letting some daylight unto the workings of the monarchy by advocating reasonable amount of modernisation of the monarchy.

He had ideas about modernising the royal family that might be called “improving optics” today. But in his heart of hearts he didn’t want the monarchy to become a stuffy museum piece. He envisaged a less stuffy and more popular monarchy, relevant to the lives of ordinary people. Progress was always going to be incremental as he had sturdy opposition from the old guard who wanted to keep everything as it was, but nevertheless his stubborn energy resulted in significant changes.

When a commission chaired by Prince Philip proposed broadcasting the 1953 investiture ceremony that formally named Elizabeth II as queen on live television, Prime Minister Winston Churchill reacted with outright horror, declaring, “It would be unfitting that the whole ceremony should be presented as if it were a theatrical performance.” Though the queen had initially voiced similar concerns, she eventually came around to the idea, allowing the broadcast of all but one segment of the coronation. Ultimately, according to the BBC, more than 20 million people tuned in to the televised ceremony - a credit to the foresight of Philip.

Elizabeth’s coronation marked a watershed moment for a monarchy that has, historically, been very hands off, old-fashioned and slightly invisible. Over the following years, the royals continued to embrace television as a way of connecting with the British people: In 1957, the queen delivered her annual Christmas address during a live broadcast. Again, this was Philip’s doing when he cajoled the Queen to televise her message live. He even helped her in how to use the teleprompter to get over her nerves and be herself on screen.

Four years later, in 1961, Philip became the first family member to sit for a television interview. It is hard for us to imagine now but back then it was huge. For many it was a significant step in modernising the monarchy.

Though not everything went to plan. Toward the end of the decade, the Windsors even invited cameras into their home. A 1969 BBC fly-on-the-wall documentary, instigated by Philip to show life behind the scenes, turned into an unmitigated disaster: “The Windsors” revealed the royals to be a fairly normal, if very rich, British upper-class family who liked barbecues, ice cream, watching television and bickering. The mystery of royalty took a hit below the waterline from their own torpedo, a self-inflicted wound from which they took a long time to recover. Shown once, the documentary was never aired again. But it had an irreversible effect, and not just by revealing the royals to be ordinary. By allowing the cameras in, Philip opened the lid to the prying eyes of the paparazzi who could legitimately argue that since the Royals themselves had sanctioned exposure, anything went. From then on, minor members of the House of Windsor were picked off by the press, like helpless tethered animals on a hunting safari.

Prince Philip also took steps to reorganise and renovate the royal estates in Sandringham and Balmoral such as intercoms, modern dish washers, generally sought to make the royal household and the monarchy less stuffy, not to have so much formality everywhere.

Philip helped modernised the monarchy in other ways to acknowledge that the monarchy could be responsive to changes in society. It was Prince Philip - much to the chagrin of the haughty Princess Margaret and other stuffy old courtiers - who persuaded the Queen to host informal lunches and garden parties designed to engage a broader swath of the British public. Conversely, Prince Philip heartily encouraged the Queen (she was all for it apparently but was still finding her feet as a new monarch) to end the traditional practice of presenting debutantes from aristocratic backgrounds at court in 1952. For Philip and others it felt antiquated and out of touch with society. I know in speaking to my grandmother and others in her generation the decision was received with disbelief at how this foreign penniless upstart could come and stomp on the dreams of mothers left to clutch their pearls at the prospect there would be no shop window for their daughter to attract a suitable gentleman for marriage. One of my great aunts was over the moon happy that she never would have to go through what she saw as a very silly ceremony because she preferred her muddy wellies to high heels.

A former senior member of the royal household, who spent several years working as one of Prince Philip’s aides, and an old family friend, once told us around a family dinner table that the Duke of Edinburgh was undoubtedly given a sense of permanence by his marriage into the Royal Family that was missing from earlier years. But the royal aide would hastily add that Prince Philip, of course, would never see it that way.

Prince Philip’s attitude was to never brood on things or seek excuses. And he did indeed get on with the job in his own way - there should be no doubt that when it came to building and strengthening the Royal Family it was a partnership of equals with the Queen. Indeed contrary to Netflix’s hugely popular series ‘The Crown’ and its depiction of the royal marriage with Philip’s resentment at playing second fiddle, the prince recognised that his “first duty was to serve the Queen in the best way I could,” as he told ITV in 2011. Though this role was somewhat ill-suited to his dynamic, driven, and outspoken temperament, Philip performed it with utter devotion.

3. Prince Philip’s legacy

One could argue rightly that modernising the monarchy was his lasting legacy achievement. But he also tried to modernise a spent and exhausted Britain as it emerged from a ruinous war. When peace came, and with it eventual economic recovery, Philip would throw himself into the construction of a better Britain, urging the country to adopt scientific methods, embracing the ideas of industrial design, planning, education and training. A decade before Harold Wilson talked of the "white heat of the technological revolution", Philip was urging modernity on the nation in speeches and interviews. He was on top of his reading of the latest scientific breakthroughs and well read in break out innovations.

This interest in modernisation was only matched by his love for nature. As the country and the world became richer and consumed ever more, Philip warned of the impact on the environment, well before it was even vaguely fashionable. As president of the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) in the UK for more than 20 years from 1961, he was one of the first high-profile advocates of the cause of conservation and biological diversity at a time when it was considered the preserve of an eccentric few.

For a generation of school children in Britain and the Commonwealth though, his most lasting legacy and achievement will be the Duke of Edinburgh Awards (DofE). He set up the Duke of Edinburgh award, a scheme aimed at getting young people out into nature in search of adventure or be of service to their communities. It was a scheme that could match the legacy of Baden Powell’s scouts movement.

When Prince Philip first outlined his idea of a scheme to harness the values of his education at Gordonstoun by bringing character-building outdoor pursuits to the many rather than the fee-paying few, he received short shrift from the government of the day. The then minister of education, Sir David Eccles responded to the Duke’s proposal by saying: “I hear you’re trying to invent something like the Hitler Youth.” Undeterred he pushed on until it came to fruition.

I’m so glad that he did. I remember how proud I was for getting my DofE Awards while I was at boarding school. With the support of great mentors I managed to achieve my goals: collecting second-hand English books for a literacy programme for orphaned street children in Delhi, India with a close Indian school friend and her family; and completing a 350 mile hike following St. Olav’s Pilgrimmage Trail from Selånger, on the east coast of Sweden, and ending at Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim, on the west coast of Norway.

It continues to be an enduring legacy. Since its launch in 1956, the Duke of Edinburgh awards have been bestowed upon some 2.5 million youngsters in Britain and some eight million worldwide. For a man who once referred to himself as a “Greek princeling of no consequence”, his pioneering tutelage of these two organisations (alongside some 778 other organisations of which he was either president or a patron) would be sufficient legacy for most.

4. Prince Philip’s character

It may surprise some but what I liked most about Prince Philip was the very thing that helped him achieve so much and leave a lasting legacy: his character.

It is unhelpful to the caricature of Prince Philip as an unwavering but pugnacious consort whose chief talent was a dizzying facility in off-colour one-liners that he was widely read and probably the cleverest member of his family.

His private library at Windsor consists of 11,000 tomes, among them 200 volumes of poetry. He was a fan of Jung, TS Eliot, Shakespeare and the cookery writer Elizabeth David. As well as a lifelong fascination with science, technology and sport, he spoke fairly fluent French, painted and wrote a well received book on birds. It’s maddening to think how many underestimated his genuine intellect and how cultured he was behind the crusty exterior.

He didn’t have an entourage to fawn around him. He was the first to own a computer at Buckingham Palace. He answered his own phone and wrote and responded to his own correspondence. By force of character he fought the old guard courtiers at every turn to modernise the monarchy against their stubborn resistance.

Prince Philip was never given to self-analysis or reflection on the past. Various television interviewers tried without success to coerce him in to commenting on his legacy.But once when his guard was down he asked on the occasion of his 90th birthday what he was more proud of, he replied with characteristic bluntness: “I couldn’t care less. Who cares what I think about it, I mean it’s ridiculous.”

All of which neatly raises the profound aversion to fuss and the proclivity for tetchiness often expressed in withering put-downs that, for better or worse, will be the reflex memory for many of the Duke of Edinburgh. If character is a two edged sword so what of his gaffes?

There is no doubt his cult status partly owed to his so-called legendary gaffes, of which there are enough to fill a book (indeed there is a book). But he was no racist. None of the Commonwealth people or foreign heads of state ever said this about him. Only leftist republicans with too much Twitter time on their hands screamed such a ridiculous accusation. They’re just overly sensitive snowflakes and being devoid of any humour they’re easily triggered.

There was the time that Philip accepted a gift from a local in Kenya, telling her she was a kind woman, and then adding: “You are a woman, aren’t you?” Or the occasion he remarked “You managed not to get eaten, then?” to a student trekking in Papua New Guinea. Then there was his World Wildlife Fund speech in 1986, when he said: “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” Well, he wasn’t wrong.

Philip quickly developed a reputation for what he once defined, to the General Dental Council, as “dentopedology – the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it”. Clearly he could laugh at himself as he often did as an ice breaker to put others at ease.

His remarking to the president of Nigeria, who was wearing national dress, “You look like you’re ready for bed”, or advising British students in China not to stay too long or they would end up with “slitty eyes”, is probably best written off as ill-judged humour. Telling a photographer to “just take the fucking picture” or declaring “this thing open, whatever it is”, were expressions of exasperation or weariness with which anyone might sympathise.

Above all, he was also capable of genuine if earthy wit, saying of his horse-loving daughter Princess Anne: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay she isn’t interested.” Many people might have thought it but few dared say it. If Prince Philip’s famous gaffes provoked as much amusement as anger, it was precisely because they seem to give voice to the bewilderment and pent-up frustrations with which many people viewed the ever-changing modern world.

A former royal protection officer recounts how while on night duty guarding a visiting Queen and consort, he engaged in conversation with colleagues on a passing patrol. It was 2am and the officer had understood the royal couple to be staying elsewhere in the building until a window above his head was abruptly slammed open and an irate Prince Philip stuck his head out of the window to shout: “Would you fuck off!” Without another word, he then shut the window.

The Duke at least recognised from an early age that he was possessed of an abruptness that could all too easily cross the line from the refreshingly salty to crass effrontery.

One of his most perceptive biographers, Philip Eade, recounted how at the age of 21 the prince wrote a letter to a relation whose son had recently been killed in combat. He wrote: “I know you will never think much of me. I am rude and unmannerly and I say things out of turn which I realise afterwards must have hurt someone. Then I am filled with remorse and I try to put matters right.”

In the case of the royal protection officer, the Duke turned up in the room used by the police officers when off duty and said: “Terribly sorry about last night, wasn’t quite feeling myself.”

Aides have also ventured to explain away some of their employer’s more outlandish remarks - from asking Cayman islanders “You are descended from pirates aren’t you?” to enquiring of a female fashion writer if she was wearing mink knickers - as the price of his instinctive desire to prick the pomposity of his presence with a quip to put others at ease.

Indeed many people forget that his ‘gaffes’ were more typical of the clubbish humour of the British officer class – which of course would be less appreciated, sometimes even offensive, to other ears. It’s why he could relate so well to veterans who enjoyed his bonhomie company immensely.

But behind the irascibility, some have argued there also lay a darker nature, unpleasantly distilled in his flinty attitude to his eldest son. One anecdote tells of how, in the aftermath of the murder of the Duke’s uncle and surrogate father, Lord Mountbatten, Philip lectured his son, who was also extremely fond of his “honorary grandfather”, that he was not to succumb to self-pity. Charles left the room in tears and when his father was asked why he had spoken to his son with so little compassion, the Duke replied: “Because if there’s any crying to be done I want it to happen within this house, in front of his family, not in public. He must be toughened up, right now.”

But here I would say that Prince Philip’s intentions were almost always sincere and in no way cruel. He has always tried to protect his family - even from their own worst selves or from those outside the family ‘firm’ who may not have their best interest at heart.

In 1937, a 16-year-old Prince Philip had walked behind his elder sister Cecile’s coffin after she was killed in a plane crash while heavily pregnant. The remains of newly-born infant found in the wreckage suggested the aircraft had perished as the pilot sought to make an emergency landing in fog as the mother entered childbirth. It was an excruciating taste of tragedy which would one day manifest itself in a very princely form of kindness that was deep down that defined Philip’s character.

When about 60 years later Prime Minister Tony Blair’s spin doctors in Downing Street tried to strong arm the Queen and the royal household over the the arrangements for the late Prince Diana’s funeral, it was Philip who stepped in front to protect his family. The Prime Minister and his media savvy spin doctors wanted the two young princes, William and Harry, to walk behind the coffin.

The infamous exchange was on the phone during a conference call between London and Balmoral, and the emotional Philip was reportedly backed by the Queen. The call was witnessed by Anji Hunter, who worked for Mr Blair. She said how surprised she was to hear Prince Philip’s emotion. ‘It’s about the boys,” he cried, “They’ve lost their mother”. Hunter thought to herself, “My God, there’s a bit of suffering going on up there”.’

Sky TV political commentator Adam Boulton (Anji Hunter’s husband) would write in his book Tony’s Ten Years: ‘The Queen relished the moment when Philip bellowed over the speakerphone from Balmoral, “Fuck off. We are talking about two boys who have just lost their mother”. Boulton goes on to say that Philip: ‘…was trying to remind everyone that human feelings were involved. No 10 were trying to help the Royals present things in the best way, but may have seemed insensitive.’

In the end the politicians almost didn’t get their way. Prince Philip stepped in to counsel his grandson, Prince William, after he had expressed a reluctance to follow his mother’s coffin after her death in Paris. Philip told the grieving child: “If you don’t walk, I think you’ll regret it later. If I walk, will you walk with me?”

It’s no wonder he was sought as a counsellor by other senior royals and especially close to his grandchildren, for whom he was a firm favourite. His relationship with Harry was said to have become strained, however, following the younger Prince’s decision to reject his royal inheritance for a life away from the public eye in America with his new American wife, Meghan Markle. For Prince Philip I am quite sure it went against all the elder Prince had lived his life by - self-sacrifice for the greater cause of royalty.

This is the key to Philip’s character and in understanding the man. The ingrained habits of a lifetime of duty and service in one form or another were never far away.

In conclusion then....

After more time passes I am sure historians will make a richer reassessment of Prince Philip’s life and legacy. Because Prince Philip was an extraordinary man who lived an extraordinary life; a life intimately connected with the sweeping changes of our turbulent 20th Century, a life of fascinating contrast and contradiction, of service and some degree of solitude. A complex, clever, eternally restless man that not even the suffocating protocols of royalty and tradition could bind him.

Although he fully accepted the limitations of public royal service, he did not see this as any reason for passive self-abnegation, but actively, if ironically, identified with his potentially undignified role. It is this bold and humorous embrace of fated restriction which many now find irksome: one is no longer supposed to mix public performance with private self-expression in quite this manner.

Yet such a mix is authentically Socratic: the proof that the doing of one’s duty can also be the way of self-fulfilment. The Duke’s sacrifice of career to romance and ceremonial office is all the more impressive for his not hiding some annoyance. The combination of his restless temperament and his deeply felt devotion to duty found fruitful expression; for instance, in the work of Saint George’s House Windsor - a centre and retreat that he created with Revd. Robin Woods - in exploring religious faith, philosophy, and contemporary issues.

Above all he developed a way to be male that was both traditional and modern. He served one woman with chivalric devotion as his main task in life while fulfilling his public engagements in a bold and active spirit. He eventually embraced the opportunity to read and contemplate more. And yet, he remained loyal to the imperatives of his mentor Kurt Hahn in seeking to combine imagination with action and religious devotion with practical involvement.

Prince Philip took more pride in the roles he had accidentally inherited than in the personal gifts which he was never able fully to develop. He put companionship before self-realisation and acceptance of a sacred symbolic destiny before the mere influencing of events. In all these respects he implicitly rebuked our prevailing meritocracy which over-values officially accredited attainment, and our prevailing narcissism which valorises the assertion of discrete identities.

Prince Philip was Britain’s longest-serving consort. He was steadfast, duty driven, and a necessary adjunct to the continuity and stability of the Queen and the monarchy. Of all the institutions that have lost the faith of the British public in this period - the Church, Parliament, the media, the police - the Monarchy itself has surprisingly done better than most at surviving, curiously well-adapted to a period of societal change and moral anarchy. The House of Hanover and later Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (changed to Windsor), since their arrival in this country in 1714, have been noted above all for their ability to adapt. And just as they survived the Victorian age by transforming themselves into the bourgeoise, domestic ideal, so they have survived the new Elizabethan era (Harry-Meghan saga is just a passing blip like the Edward-Wallis Simpson saga of the 1930s).

There was once a time when the Royal’s German blood was a punchline for crude and xenophobic satirists. Now it is the royals who are deeply British while the country itself is increasingly cosmopolitan and globalised. British society has seen a greater demographic change than the preceding four or five thousand years combined, the second Elizabethan age has been characterised more than anything by a transformational movement of people. Prince Philip, the Greek-born, Danish-German persecuted and destitute wanderer who came to become one of the Greatest Britons of the past century, perhaps epitomised that era better than anyone else. And he got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

I hope I don’t exaggerate when I say that in our troubled times over identity, and our place and purpose in the world, we need to heed his selfless example more than ever.

As Heraclitus wisely said, Ήθος ανθρώπω δαίμων (Character is destiny.)

RIP Prince Philip. You were my prince. God damn you, I miss you already.

Thanks for your question.

#question #ask #prince philip #duke of edinburgh #queen elizabeth II #the queen of spades #monarchy #britain #british #royalty #politics #history #culture #europe #crown #icon #great briton #society

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buttercupjosh · 4 years ago

Text

a summer in syracuse

(Gif credit to @tylerglasnow)

word count: 5,115

warnings: none

genre: summer romance, strangers to lovers, self insert, fluff

a/n: I’ve been quietly working on this fic since February and I’m finally dropping it. I actually applied to a summer research opportunity at syracuse university (unfortunately, I didn’t get in) and I had one of those before you go to sleep, dream prompt scenarios that was like “imagine if COVID didn’t exist and you went there and somehow ended up falling in love with Joel, what would that look like?” So based on the different details I would come up with to help me fall sleep (I never dreamt about it), here’s my beezy fic. I haven’t written a fic since 2014 and I’m no Nicholas Sparks so I tried my best at this. I’ve also never been to upstate New York so I just relied on my imagination and Google to help create the scenes. I’m not transitioning to becoming a fic writer, I just caved into the idea and wrote it out. It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a cis female but if you want to, you could make it apply to anyone. It's intended to be a self-insert to where the reader can imagine themselves or a character of their choice in the position. It’s also lowercase intended and there’s no dialogue because I wanted to do something different. Shoutout and thank you to @thestarsintheskyburnout for reviewing and editing this story for me. I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you in advance for reading, I appreciate it and I hope you like it😌 (p.s. if you have the time, I would also really appreciate if you checked out my other piece, know your heart. Thanks☺️)

(Note because I already know that someone is going to bring it up: yes, Joel actually has a vsco that he still actively uses. The only reason why I know that is because last year, someone (I can’t remember who) shared a photo from his vsco on here and put it as a source for a photo. I probably won’t share the vsco info for the sake of controversy and drama. Don’t come into my inbox about it.)

(Optional listening/songs of inspiration: summer love by one direction, space cowboy by kacey musgraves, san francisco by 5sos, streetlights by wanderer, driving by wanderer, into your eyes by wanderer, know your heart by wanderer (promoting it again because this song is so good), and my spotify playlist)

“you were mine for the summer, now we know it’s nearly over. feels like snow in september but i always will remember. you were my summer love. you always will be my summer love” -summer love by one direction

you were fidgeting in your seat from excitement and also as a way to keep yourself awake. you hadn’t slept much the night before because you were making sure that you had everything you needed for your trip and you were tired from spending the majority of your day in either an airplane or an airport. you kept tapping your feet on the floor and began sending your final texts to your family and friends and you were looking for the right playlist before the plane took off. you were blessed with the opportunity to go spend 8 weeks in syracuse, new york to work on a summer research project at syracuse university. you were so wrapped in your bubble of excitement and exhaustion that you didn’t notice the guy who sat next to you. he looked over at you with a side eye and he contemplated switching seats. this flight, however, was full so he stayed in his place. he grew slightly annoyed with you and wondered how someone could have this much energy for a boring flight to his hometown.

as the plane began rolling away from the terminal, you took out your gum and politely offered the guy in the glasses with the sharp jawline next to you a piece. he accepted and you noticed that he was wearing a black philadelphia flyers sweatshirt with the number 86 on it. something about him felt familiar so you complimented him on the sweatshirt and asked if he was a fan of the team. that’s when he revealed who he was, introducing himself as joel farabee, a forward for the flyers. that’s exactly why he was familiar to you because you watched him play before during the 2019-2020 playoffs and during the recent 2020-2021 season but you didn’t pay much attention to him specifically (your attention was more focused on a defenseman, a giraffe named phil myers). what were the chances that you would be seated together on a flight to syracuse? you told joel that you were a fan of his team but that you didn’t pay close attention to the entire roster. he laughed because he knew that he was only in his second season in the nhl, putting up great numbers but still gaining momentum within the team and that the team had other superstars, who casted a larger shadow over him. you knew that they had a rough season. you apologized for not noticing him and he accepted it. he asked you about why you were so excited to go to syracuse, it was a college town with nothing much to do unless you like to be outside, party or spend time in the library. you explained to him about the research project opportunity you were granted with and how it was your first time going there. for some reason, knowing that it was your first time there, it sparked an idea in joel. he decided that he wanted to be a tourist in his hometown and show you around. yes, he did spend the majority of his life there and he goes back every major holiday to see his family but he never really got the opportunity to show what the region had to offer and he wanted to do something slightly different this summer. his typical summer plans were to work out, practice at the rink, hang out with his friends, spend time with family, go fishing and catch up on sleep. he could still fit those things into his break and make time to show you around town. he offered to make your summer in syracuse fun, even though you would be spending 8 weeks cooped up on campus. you accepted the offer and exchanged numbers. as the flight continued, exhaustion began to wash over you and before you knew it, you had unintentionally fallen asleep on joel’s shoulder. yes, you had your neck pillow but your head had moved a bit too far over to the left. realistically, he should of woken you up and politely asked you to move your head off of him but he understood that you had spent the majority of your day traveling and were exhausted so he left you alone.

as the plane descended and made its way to the terminal at syracuse hancock international, he woke you up. after realizing that you fell asleep on the shoulder of someone you just met, you apologized to him again and he accepted it. at baggage claim, you thanked joel for being a great flight buddy and he chuckled at your words. his bags came out first and he waited with you until you got yours. he offered to take you to campus but the school had already given you a $100 uber gift card for transportation and you had already ordered the car. before heading your separate ways, you arranged to make plans at some point during your 8 weeks to hang out. in his mind, he had already started planning all of the places he wanted to take you.

____________________________________

after arriving on campus, getting settled in your dorm, and meeting your roommate, you noticed that joel followed you on insta and added you on snapchat. you snapped him a photo of the sunset, which he screenshotted but left you on opened. the following morning, joel sent you a snap back of the home cooked breakfast he was enjoying. you snapped him back a photo of a tree while walking to the research lab, and thus, a streak was born. you and joel began texting each other back and forth consistently. he already knew where he wanted to take you but he didn’t want to initiate the first move yet so he waited until you brought up wanting to go out since you had a much busier schedule.

about 2 weeks into your stay, you had finally decided that you wanted to ask joel about going somewhere. joel suggested going to destiny usa (the large mall in the area but going shopping together in a busy setting wasn’t the best way to get to know someone), the museum of science and technology or the art museum (both places piqued your interest but your research program already arranged dates for a group visit) and even going hiking (it sounded good but it felt odd since you had only just met each other). finally, you both decided that going to lunch at dinosaur bbq (a popular restaurant in town and one of joel’s favorite spots) the following day was the best choice.

the next afternoon, you nervously waited outside of the dorm hall and joel pulled up in a black audi. you took a deep breath before going inside. you trusted that joel was not some secret, dangerous creep and that his intentions were good. in your mind, you decided that if you both didn’t vibe well together during this lunch hangout, you didn’t have to see each other again afterwards. you were going to reject joel’s offer to show you around town and you could always ask your roommate or another member of your cohort to explore syracuse with you. ultimately, you were wrong; having lunch with joel was actually a lot of fun. it was awkward at first because you were nervous. you barely spoke to him on the ride to the restaurant, not wanting to embarrass yourself by saying something wrong in front of him or creating the wrong impression. on the other hand, joel was cool, calm and collected. he didn’t think too much of going to lunch with you. he could tell that you were nervous and he didn’t want to push you to speak.

while you waited for your food, you carefully tried to choose your words and began opening up to each other. you both exchanged surface level basic details about your lives. the heart to heart stuff was being saved for later on, because you didn’t want to push each other away with the deeper details and the trust between you two hadn’t yet been established. you tried not to include hockey in your conversation, but it was a huge part of joel’s life and he had no issue talking about it with you. he willingly answered your questions about the behind the scenes of the nhl and you equally responded to his questions about your research project. you learned that you both shared certain things in common and some things you differed on; he even made you genuinely laugh a few times. throughout the meal, you realized you admired joel’s dorkiness and charm, while he admired your down-to-earth spirit and kindness.

when the check arrived at the end of your meal, you graciously offered to pay for both of your meals. joel declined your offer to pay and instead put his credit card on top of yours. you gave him his card back and made a compromise with joel. anytime, you went somewhere together, you would pay for something in exchange for his time and service of driving everywhere. he didn’t mind paying for things and driving the 15 minutes from his home in cicero to pick you up but he agreed to it and you both shook hands. his hands were larger than yours, but oddly, they fit together like matching puzzle pieces. joel took you back to the university and before leaving, you asked joel if you could hug him as a sign of gratitude. normally it would feel weird to hug someone that you had only known for a short while but hugging him felt natural and comfortable. after hugging him goodbye, you told him to text you when he got home. he promised you that he would before driving off and he kept that promise. ___________________________________

after that first initial hangout, you started having joel around more. he would sometimes come visit you in the library and keep you company as you studied. he would always bring snacks or take you out to go get food. sometimes, he would annoy you and you would end up spending more time dealing him and his antics than reading the book’s contents and working on the project. he never said it, but, he was in awe of your academic prowess. he had only spent a year in college before moving onto the nhl and seeing how passionate you were about the topics you studied amazed him.

after a study session, joel offered to take you to go do something fun and he suggested going to the zoo. he hadn't been since he was a child and felt a sense of nostalgia. you were both grown adults, but, a trip to the zoo wouldn’t hurt anyone. you ended up strolling around together at the rosamond gifford zoo on a saturday afternoon. you would stop and read the facts on each of the animals at the exhibits and joel would take photos of them on his vsco and send different ones to his friends. he saw a meerkat and sent a photo to tk. joel told you that you were like an elephant, big brained and full of knowledge. you rolled your eyes at him and indicated that you wanted to get dippin dots. over the cool treat, you and joel exchanged stories from your own childhoods. you told him about where you were raised, your hobbies, and your love for stuffed animals when you were younger. joel told you about his life here in town, his time in boarding school in connecticut, about his days in michigan playing for the us national development team and his short time at boston university.

after the ice cream was finished and the stories were concluded, you wanted to stop by the gift shop to pick up a souvenir from your trip to the zoo. you picked up two magnets (one for your parents home and one for your place). before checking out, you needed to use the restroom and asked joel to hold onto the magnets until you got back. joel took advantage of your short absence to purchase the magnets for you. you were surprised by the kind gesture and thanked him, though you insisted on buying them yourself. as you were both exiting the zoo, joel mentioned how the rose garden was close by. he knew that he wanted to take you there to see the flowers but he didn’t want to be awkward. he knew that the rose garden was a romantic place and as far as you both knew, you were just friends and nothing more. from your perspective, you knew that joel could possibly secretly be involved with another girl back in philly or in his DMs, and he could also have any girl he wanted at the drop of a message anyways. realistically, you were both single and neither of you wanted to admit that a summer romance was quietly blooming between the two of you. after you listened to his suggestion about the rose garden, you had decided to opt out. you definitely wanted to go check it out but you didn’t want to make joel uncomfortable by going there together when you weren’t dating each other. on the ride back to campus, you awkwardly asked joel for more information about the rose garden. he responded telling you how beautiful it was in the spring, how it’s one of his mom’s favorite places in town, and sharing a story about a time he visited. after listening to his commentary and saying goodbye, you wished that you had accepted the invitation. little did you know, joel was feeling the exact same way. ____________________________________ your research project was progressing well, but, as you got closer to the deadline, you jokingly told joel that you were so stressed out and busy that you just wanted to go down niagara falls in a barrel to escape it all. this inspired joel to actually take you to see the marvelous waterfalls to get your mind off of the stress you were feeling. it was a 3 hour drive from syracuse but it was worth taking the trip for you.

on the ride to the falls, joel let you decide the soundtrack for the road trip and he learned that you held a deep love for music. he learned which songs and artists meant a lot to you and even asked you to add some of the songs you played into his library. you didn’t think much of it at the time (besides the fact that you were getting this boy to listen to other genres besides country and rap), however, joel was quietly planning on making a playlist full of the songs you loved - even though some of the songs you played were definitely out of his comfort zone. the purpose of the playlist was to help him feel connected to you after you left.

after the 3 hour drive, you finally arrived in the late afternoon. you did not bring your passport with you, so, you were unable to cross the border into canada and explore that side of the falls. you hopped together, alongside other tourists, onto the maid of the mist boat ride. it took your breath away to see the waterfall up close and in person. you were speechless by its amazing beauty. you felt the mist of the water dance across your skin and your eyes widened in wonder. you couldn’t believe that you were actually in front of niagara falls. while you were inside a bubble of awe, joel admired you and your reactions. it made his heart full, seeing the joy spill out of you. he made sure to capture photos of you and the falls and you both took touristy photos in the classic yellow waterproof ponchos at the cave of the winds. your favorite photo taken that day captured you and joel laughing in the titanic pose in front of the falls. it looked a bit silly but it was a really cute photo of you two together. joel’s favorite photo was a side profile shot of your face, with the water cascading in the background. although, you felt otherwise in the oversized, bright plastic coverup, he truly thought you looked beautiful.

after picking up more magnets and a t-shirt from the gift shop, and watching the falls illuminate at night, you headed back to syracuse. on the ride back into town, you and joel stopped at a diner off of the highway. you sat across from each other, admiring the details of each other under the light, just as you had many times before. however this time, a wave of vulnerability kicked in and you decided to share more about the intimate details of your life with joel. in your mind, some of the things you shared weren’t so great and you felt they could be a reason for him to stop liking you. however, joel saw how the not-so-pretty, broken parts, the seemingly boring, uninteresting things and the little details of who you are, pieced you together like kintsugi. the scars that lined you were flowing with the gold of your love, compassion, and kindness and he liked that about you. it’s what made you so different from all of the other girls out there. sure, on paper the qualities of who you are could be what he needed in a partner but physically, you may not match the expectations of wags within hockey culture. his heart whispered to him that you were something special and that the physical beauty of this world didn’t matter because he knew that you were beautiful on the inside.

at the end of your meal, the waitress dropped off the receipt explaining that she adored when couples came in together and seeing a happy relationship reminded her of her and husband, after losing him many years ago. joel blushed at the waitress’ remark and you thanked the waitress for her service before leaving. you and joel had never talked about your feelings for each other. it was definitely safe to assume that you were friends and nothing more but there was something more lurking under the surface. your hearts both, connected by an invisible string, could sense that love was there but the words never slipped out. the rest of the drive back was awkward. while the music hummed in the background, you speculated that joel wasn’t probably looking for a relationship and you assumed that you didn’t fit his standards anyways. you weren’t a model, you weren’t a sorority sister, you weren’t someone who had a shot at competing on the bachelor. you were just you and you were content with who you are. you knew that dating an athlete wouldn’t be easy but if you knew that he was into you, he was worth the risks and challenges.

while you were wrapped up in your thoughts, joel reached over and grabbed your hand. you were surprised by the move but didn’t let go. he didn’t say anything either because he had similar thoughts about his feelings towards you racing through his mind. you didn’t know that he felt the same way, seeing that you were full of internal beauty and you shined like a light on earth. he was also terrified of what could happen next for whatever was going on between you. he knew that he considered you his friend and he could feel himself falling for you, but, he was worried about what he couldn’t see below him. he wondered if you could handle the pushback associated with being a wag or if you even wanted to be romantically involved with someone like him in the first place. he also wondered if you were falling for him as well or if you just wanted to remain friends.

before you both knew it, you arrived back to campus. despite the awkward car ride, as usual, he dropped you off and you gave him a hug goodnight, telling him to text you when he got home. as soon as you walked into your dorm, you immediately confided in your roommate about your trip to niagara falls and your feelings for joel. she knew that you had been spending a lot of time with joel and she admitted that she adored how well he treats you. your roommate advised you to listen to the whispers of your heart and focus on what it said to you. you considered her words and hoped that your heart said the right things to you and guided you into the right direction. ____________________________________

your final research project presentation was thursday afternoon and your flight home was scheduled to leave friday morning. joel really wanted to make your last night in syracuse special. he was proud of you and wanted to celebrate the completion of your research project experience by taking you out to eat at his favorite hometown restaurant. going out to eat together was not a new thing for you, he had taken you to several different restaurants, but this place was special to him. francesca's was only reserved for special occasions. it was where he had celebrated several of his birthdays, his high school graduation, when he got signed to the flyers, and other important events. based on advice from his older brother, he had never taken a girl there unless that girl was important to him. although you had only known each other for less than 3 months, you meant a lot to him. he knew that you were someone his family and the team would adore.

he waited for you in his car, just as he had done countless times before but this time with a bouquet of flowers for you. he had spent hours with you but the butterflies in his stomach fluttered loudly tonight. he peered out of the window and he thought you looked absolutely stunning in your dress, the color you wore looked amazing on you. when you got closer to the car, he got out, handed you the flowers, and went around to open your door. he complimented you on your outfit and it made your cheeks warm. the flowers he picked for you were beautiful and you admired how he was being extra sweet tonight. on the ride to the restaurant, you complimented joel, saying he looked handsome in his outfit and you thought to yourself that that the both of you look good together.

the restaurant he took you to was very nice. it had brick walls and a lively atmosphere. you could sense that joel was a bit nervous, which was odd, since he was never nervous around you before. you questioned him about it and he explained the significance of the restaurant to him. you were taken aback that he thought you were special and important enough to him for him to bring you here. that made your heart whisper to you. you had listened to what your heart had to say and not surprisingly, it did say the right things to you.

at the end of the delicious dinner, you wanted to go get ice cream, so joel took you to the cold stone creamery inside of destiny usa. you both sat and ate ice cream on a park bench in onondaga park, looking out onto hiawatha lake, and admired the stars in the night sky. the reality of your last night in syracuse began sinking in. joel knew that you had an early morning flight, so he drove you back to campus sooner so that you would get enough sleep for your journey back home. he drove to the front of the building and he promised that this moment wasn’t goodbye and he was going to take you to the airport the next morning. before leaving, joel reached over in the backseat and handed you a bag. inside of the bag was a bee beanie baby, a keychain of gritty (the mascot for the flyers), a black philadelphia flyers hoodie matching the one he wore when you first met, and 4 magnets - 2 represented the city of syracuse and 2 were flyers magnets. you were thankful for the sweet gift and admired that joel paid attention to the things you liked. you went in to give joel the usual goodnight hug but this time, he asked if he could kiss you goodnight instead. you accepted the offer. ____________________________________

you didn’t sleep well the night before. your mind was racing with the thoughts of the great night you had and you also wondered about what would happen between you and joel. you said farewell to your roommate and promised to keep in touch with her. her flight was leaving at a different time but yours was an early morning flight back home. it was too early in the morning for you to go to breakfast together so you planned on getting something overpriced and filling in the airport. as he promised the night before, joel was taking you to the airport to say goodbye. he still had about a month left before training camp started but he wished that you would change your ticket and stay longer. you were dozing on and off during the trip to the airport, joel looked over at you and his heart was full. this was the last time that you would be together like this in his car. you were going to miss the unintentional familiarity that you developed sitting in his passenger seat and being physically close to him. he enjoyed the way it felt having you next to him and he too was going to miss that feeling.

as he pulled into the short term parking lot at the airport, you woke up from your nap and an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over you. you didn’t want to leave him. you had such a good time in a new place and you had gotten to spend time with an amazing guy who treated you so well. your heart swelled with the gratefulness that you had felt for joel, sacrificing his time to spend time with you. he could have brushed off the fact that it was your first time in syracuse and spent part of his summer with anyone else and do his typical summer routine with his old friends. he was under no obligation to drive around his hometown with someone that he barely knew but he had chosen to spend that time being with you - which neither of you regretted for a single moment.

after checking your bags and receiving your ticket, it was time to say goodbye. you weren’t sure how long the line would be for security and you were a little hungry and tired so you knew that you didn’t have much time left together. you were sad that it was all over and whatever you and joel had was done. as absurd as it sounds, you actually fell in love with the friend who made your summer in syracuse fun. the tears began to slowly flow and joel wiped them away. he embraced you in a hug and kissed the top of your head. at that moment, the busyness of the airport quieted for you. in that moment, it was just you and joel holding onto to each other for one last time. he reassured you that this wasn’t the end of what you had together. he still wanted to talk to you, see your beautiful smile, he wanted for you to come visit him in philadelphia and of course, he wanted to show his favorite girl (besides his mom) around town; he wanted more of you and the light that you shined into his life. neither of you wanted to let go but you had to separate in order for you to make your flight on time. he squeezed you a little tighter and planted a departing kiss on your mouth. you smiled at him with tears in your eyes. he joked for you to not fall asleep on anyone’s shoulders unless they were his and got a giggle out of you. although, he thought that you wouldn’t hear him say it but he quietly murmured an “i love you” and you repeated those 3 precious words back to him.

this goodbye hurt a lot but you both knew that the leap made to spend your summer together was worth the fall into the deep unknown of your friendship/relationship. you both wished that you could press rewind, start over and relive the time that you spent together during the past 6 weeks. you weren’t sure if or when you were going to see each other again, you still had time before you graduated from school and joel would be busy with the upcoming hockey season. although, the chaos of what’s to come loomed ahead, you both promised to not forget about each other and to at least remain friends and keep in touch. the future was full of uncertainty and you also weren’t sure if joel would patiently wait for you. he could always find another girl to fall in love with and spend his days with. you also could always find someone for yourself, which would be okay, only the future could tell. you hoped that somehow this would all work out, with the two of you finding a way back to each other. regardless, he had made a impact on you that you would treasure moving forward. you were each other’s summer love and the possibility of moving on hurt but the love you had shared wouldn’t go away as the seasons went on.

with one final hug and look into each other’s eyes, it was time to leave. as you walked towards the security checkpoint with tired eyes, you were exhausted, but it wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t a joke. the feelings and things you had experienced with joel were real. you were brought together for a reason and it was no mistake that you sat next to each other on that flight. an opportunity fell into your hands and you both had chosen to not let it slip away. you were both the one that the other had waited all of this time for and that patience had paid off. even if it didn’t end up turning into a full romantic relationship, the friendship and bond that was created between you was worth the time and effort that was put into it. your summer in syracuse was over but you would never forget the memories you made with a certain flyer and the love that you shared with him.

#joel farabee #philadelphia flyers #Joel Farabee imagine #joel farabee fic #joel farabee x reader #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey writing #my writing

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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hi! i just wanted ask how can you not be so pressured to change hange’s gender to your fics (she to they/them) despite that many twitter users are saying that “au authors must use they/them to hange because they are canonically NB” . because to be honest, as an aspiring writer who is working on her first levihan fic, i feel so pressure or maybe obligied to use they/them pronouns for hange.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, I actually was pressured to use ‘they’ tbh. In fact, I was so pressured I actually did a lot of research on this and put a lot of thought into my decision to use ‘she’ as my chosen pronoun for Hange.

But tbh, I think I am pretty confident with the amount of research and the amount of thought I put into it that I don’t think I will be using ‘they’ in my fics anytime soon.

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean at all that I don’t like reading ‘they’ fics nor that I don’t like seeing people use ‘they.’ Tbh I don’t really mind whatever people use? I can enjoy a fic with either pronoun, I can enjoy a good meta with either pronoun. I have my own personal reasons for using they.

Some of the reasons why:

Personal HC

Personal HC but I’m still gonna drop this here.

To make things clear, I headcanon Hange as gender fluid. I headcanon her as sexuality fluid that personally, I’m not too much a fan either of fics that portray Hange as overly feminine either. So I have seen people who request that we do not use overly female or feminine words with Hange. Which yes, I don’t do them. But was a peer pressured into not using them?

No, not really. I just personally think Levi would prefer the word partner if he was with Hange. I personally think that Hange would not have liked to fall into traditional female roles either.

At the same time, I thought about the concept of using ‘they’ as a pronoun with Hange then I couldn’t help but think, it just isn’t in my personal interpretation of Hange to correct people. Hange is too much of a free bird to actually care what people use. Hange would probably respond to he, she, they or whatever and she probably wouldn’t correct anyone calling her mr., mrs. etc.

And in the context of Filo soc med AUs, Hange would probably respond to ate, kuya. (And besides, what is the gender neutral form of ate or kuya??? Mamsir)

And generally the default for most people is to look at someone and think okay, she’s a girl, I think I’ll use ‘she’ first. Or okay, that’s a guy, I think I’ll use ‘he’ first and what usually happens is if anyone is particularly conscious about the pronoun used on them, they will correct the other person.

But there are people out there, who don’t care whether someone uses she, he, they, mr., mrs, ma’am, sir. For example, personally for me, I wouldn’t bother to correct anyone. And I headcanon that Levi and Hange wouldn’t have cared either.

I’m sure people who read my fics would notice, I do put a lot of research when I write because I like to make things as realistic and as in character as possible. So to get into the spirit of my fic and whatever setting I’m writing, I try to capture everything to a T and given the overall landscape and setting I’m writing about and given my own headcanons of Levi and Hange I decided on she.

Because in my headcanon, if someone were to ask Hange what pronoun she preferred? Hange probably would have said any.

Likewise, if anyone asked Hange what her gender was, Hange probably would have said ‘any’ also.

And the setting of the show is practically medieval and gender identity is a relatively new concept. I don’t think many people would have spent too much time pondering ideas like individualism and gender identity when they’re literally facing death everyday. Actually a lot of the great thinking happened after the war, and when there was actually food on the table. Because people weren’t actually hungry everyday anymore so they had time to think about more modern thoughts.

‘She’ is still an NB pronoun

I answered this in another ask already. But the point behind this, is although ‘they’ is the go to non binary pronoun, there are NB people who go by she too. And creating this idea that all gender fluid characters HAVE to go by ‘they’ is dangerous in itself because the reason we had gender discrimination in the first place is because we had these boxes to fit ourselves into. So if a NB person wants to go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ or ‘they’ who are we to stop them?

And I said it many times myself. We will never know which pronoun Hange would have preferred for herself.

I get confused.

This is a shallow reason but I’m gonna drop this here anyway. I get confused when I see ‘they.’ I read a lot of content which uses ‘they’ for Hange and I get confused a lot of the time that I have to read the sentences like three times because I end up thinking ‘Hange and who?’

I know I should have gotten used to it by now, but I still get confused because english is the only language I use on a regular basis that actually has such strict rules for how to navigate gendered pronouns.

I don’t wanna be peer pressured into doing shit just coz.

Tbh, for me, as long as I did my research, as long as I can argue both sides as to why and as long as I am confident in the fact that I have thought about this enough before deciding on this, I will not change it.

I am pretty convinced that a lot of people who actually go all the way as to attack someone on twitter and to cancel them (over a lot of topics tbh) haven’t done their due research.

Because most of the people I know who have done their due research wouldn’t be fighting (on Twitter OF ALL PLACES) in the first place.

Because doing actual research (which means reading articles which support both sides of the argument) will only make people realize that the world is too grey and too complex to ever make pushing their own agenda, ‘cancelling’ someone and calling them transphobic, homophobic, racist etc ect or as they like to call ‘educating’ someone the right thing to do. Believe me, if people genuinely wanted to educate someone, they would slide into their DMs and calmly tell them their own opinion, ask why the other person believes a certiain way and you know, be ready to learn something too because education is a two way street. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, I think any level headed person would probbaly just give up and do something more worth while with their time than cancel some stranger on social media.

Regardless though, I respect either decision and I recognize the fact that a lot of Hange stans are very much more comfortable with the pronoun ‘they’ My general practice when navigating this sensitive topic is to use ‘they’ for Hange when talking to someone who prefers ‘they’ because it’s a conversation and in conversation, the space becomes something shared between me and the other person so I would do my part to make it as comfortable for them as possible.

But here’s the thing, my fic is my space. It’s a house I built for myself and the readers are the visitors that come in and out as they please. No one is forced to read my fic and never have I and never will I tie someone down on a chair and not free them until they read my work.

It’s my fic. It’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.

People tend to forget that in the end this is a fandom space and people should be free to headcanon things however they want. They should be free to explore whatever themes they want. And I like to do my part to promote this type of environment by sticking to a few iron clad rules.

I write what I want to write.

Don’t like, don’t read.

Content is free. There’s a back button and if you do not appreciate the themes someone is exploring or the headcanons someone is applying to their fic, you may click the back button and look for something that doesn’t offend you.

(I’m gonna end up digressing a bit here so feel free not to read the rant below)

There are an infinite number of headcanons and ideas which ideally should be able to exist. Yet because of this constant need to be politically correct and this constant fear that we might be offending someone and we might end up cancelled, a lot of people have been watching their own creative works more than necessary.

I actually fear that there are a lot of good ideas and there are a lot of themes that could have been explored but weren’t.

And this is why I love ao3 a lot. Ao3 is free from societal pressure, corporate synergy and I appreciate the fact that in that space, I’m free to explore whatever themes I want. I can read something pro-rape, I can read something anti-rape. I can read something pro abuse, I can read something anti-abuse etc etc.

I personally have very liberal views and obviously I am not for rape or abuse in ANY situation.

But I am also the type of person who will read things that celebrate a controversial topic and things that will attack that same topic because I just generally want a more nuanced opinion on a lot of things. Because when I have seen both sides of the spectrum, then it’s just easier for me to proudly say ‘Yes, I believe this’ or ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

And I think these pieces should be available for other people to explore so that they can for themselves form more nuanced opinions on whatever topics come their way and the more sides people are aware of that exist, the less likely we’re going to end up with groupthink or hivemind situations which have fucked people over countless times in history already.

Should questionable content be widely available? Personally no but I don’t think it should be completely unavailable.

Regardless these potentially offensive pieces should exist and I’m saying this for both controversial topics such as rape and abuse and something as relatively harmless as Hange being referred to as ‘she’ on a fic. All stories exploring every facet and every side regardless of how controversial should exist in this space because these promote discourse and they promote thinking. These pieces of work that explore taboo and offensive topics and the discourse these create only serve to make our opinions more nuanced so at least we aren’t blinded or we don’t have these half assed opinions only fueled by having read material created by people who are biased to one particular side. At least we have enough fuel for ourselves to say ‘Yes I have read this and now I can more proudly say I believe this more.’

Whatever opinions I have made for myself about social issues are only how they are because I listen to both sides of the argument. I like to play devil’s advocate. I like to listen to people even if I don’t agree with what they’re saying.

And I like finding compromises so that people can co-exist and I like tweaking my opinions everyday based on new information I learn.

And personally, there are so many views I hate and there are types of topics I personally would prefer not to explore but I still believe in the back of my mind they should exist. And if we do whitewash or try to force everyone to adjust their works to whatever side we deem is more ‘politically correct,’ then we will lose facets of the fandom that could have existed, that could have promoted a more colorful discourse and that could have sprouted new ideas and new ways of thinking which may be even more creative if people weren’t so scared to be cancelled or wrong.

It’s different in a conversation. I will adjust the way I speak, the way I navigate interactions with people in a shared space.

But no one is forced to read my works no one is forced to read fanfiction so cancelling someone over how they go about their creative works will always be worse in my book than someone who is exploring problematic themes. (As long as that person tags their trigger material properly and isn’t forcing anyone to read it or forcing their own personal beliefs on anyone or attacking them)

Anyway, sorry for the long ass rant again but I hope you get the courage to use whatever pronouns you want for Hange.

I hope this makes you realize that there really isn’t a black and white to this. And this is a fandom space. Do whatever you want. Headcanon whatever you want. Just be respectful and kind.

#levihan #meta

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nightswithkookmin · 5 years ago

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Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

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youwerenevermeanttofeelalone · 5 years ago

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I’m autistic and I would like to be active in leftist spaces but I don’t know how. Also, do you participate in riots and all that stuff as a leftist? I don’t leave the house a lot and I’m scared

(I’ll add a read more to this post because it’ll be long.)

Sadly, most things in this world weren’t designed for us, anon:(. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t contribute.

But first, there are a few things I need you to know about leftists spaces in general:

The infighting is worse outside of online spaces.

Said infighting is normal because there are... let’s call them branches.

The communist branch — communists want the proletariat to have control of the state.

The anarchist branch — anarchists want to abolish the state.

Some people would consider socdems (socialist democrats) as leftists, but they believe capitalism can be reformed. Somebody who still believes in capitalism can’t be called a leftist.

You can’t expect groups of people with wildly different goals to not fight. But sometimes those fights are useful and other times, they are petty.

There are also common grounds that those branches can reach, and they often do, but you never hear about it because it isn’t “interesting”.

Depending on your geographical location, you might not be safe if you take part in leftists spaces unless they’re online. The fight against capitalism, fascism, and colonialism is important, but your safety should be your priority.

Don’t trust people who say theory isn’t necessary.

Read theory. And critique of that theory. And then build your own opinion.

Theory isn’t a holy scripture, you can discard the things that you feel don’t apply to your community.

I know theory is challenging, and I don’t have a perfect solution, but if you need help with passages or bodies of work, please dm me. I’ll help you out as much as I can.

Using the label “leftist” is controversial in some spaces. Don’t worry too much about that if you’re just getting started. It’s okay to not know in which branch of the left you feel more comfortable as long as you’re open-minded.

Don’t fall for “democratic socialism and socialism are different because socialists don’t believe in democracy.”

Socialism is already democratic. Socdems just want to be progressive moderators (think of Bernie Sanders and his policies, for example.)

Listen to a wide range of leftists, but prioritize leftists of color.

Stay away from the “dirtbag left”. Their use of slurs and edgy humor can be triggering. They throw the r-slur in every debate and conversation.

If you want to watch leftist YouTubers, don’t pay too much attention to the “debate bros.” Some of them will be entertaining, but debating isn’t that important to the movement.

Now, I’m agoraphobic. Protests and riots aren’t something I can really tolerate even though I’ve tried. Maybe one day I’ll be able to change that.

But if you know a collective that’s protesting or rioting, you can ask them what you can do to help.

Sometimes they need people to take care of their kids, or people to let them know what the media is saying, or people to hand out pamphlets, or people to design those pamphlets, or people to get them medical attention...

There are so many things you can do from home, I promise! Monitoring police channels is another thing that I’ve seen American and European neurodivergent people do. Just ask.

About direct action...

For context: the left isn’t prominent in Mexico. The Worker’s Party has a coalition with the bourgeois parties at the moment. Our president is a demagogue who lied about his political beliefs and disguised himself as a leftist when he’s a neoliberal.

Where I live, people are so reactionary that they consider the president a communist. Here in my State, everybody’s either a centrist or a conservative. Leftists mostly keep to themselves because we’re not safe — much less if we’re part of a marginalized group which is most likely the case.

Such a thing isn’t too different from other States. We can spend days talking about why that happened and how much US imperialism has fucked us up, but I don’t want to digress.

As you can imagine, mutual aid is tough for me to do for multiple reasons, but it isn’t impossible.

I’ve left my house like ten times this year and I have three friends in total — one of them doesn’t even live in my country. Educating them has been one of the highlights of my year. And they now can pass that knowledge on.

The leftist movement needs more people willing to share knowledge. The movement also needs direct action, but you know what’s also direct action? Mutual aid.

I’m poor and helping out people with money is kinda tough when I have to save money for a ridiculously expensive surgery (it’s for my father), but I give whatever I can.

In my city, there are a lot of immigrants looking for a job. And I can’t give them such a thing, but whenever I can, I cook as many meals as possible and my father gives them out.

Mutual aid isn’t always big, but it can make a lot of difference. Sometimes you can only help out somebody by giving them a meal while they help you out by making you company. But that should be enough for us.

Disabled and neurodivergent people aren’t considered when certain groups form. Another way you can do mutual aid is by helping out neurodivergent and disabled kids. A lot of them can’t go to school or can’t get the tools they need to have a decent life.

There are ways. Unconventional, and smug neurotypicals or able-bodied people might say they’re not enough, but they are. I promise you they are, and the people you help will always be grateful.

Thank you for trusting my perspective on this. I hope this was helpful. If you have more questions or want to talk about this in length, message me.

#ywnmtfa responds #anonymous #politics #leftism #actuallyautistic #actuallyneurodivergent

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ksmutclub · 5 years ago

Text

Let’s take a step...

Good Evening Everyone. Admin Tomi here.

I think we’ve reached the need for a full stop.

There’s going to be a lot here - please hang with me. I ask that you read this thoroughly, because I would like to have this be the cease fire for the current situation.

Firstly,

We are deeply sorry for any hurt, pain, trigger, or traumatic essence that has arisen in the midst of viewing the Monster Smash prompt list.

These prompts are based on popular horror movies and books. Things that we easily associate with Horror via authors like James Patterson and Stephen King [which a good chunk of these prompts come from]. So to us, and a majority of the voters/members, who wanted it to return? There was no issue.

The club rules *specifically* state that we do not allow the following

WHAT WE DON’T REBLOG

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophobic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape.

That has been the long standing no-no’s of this club since its inception. We didn’t understand why the anons, and few members that came forward, would think that we would:

A - allow any story that breaks the rules to pass through. B - that any of the writers/creators/esteemed members of this club would dip down to those levels to create material that does exactly what we ask not to be done.

We’re all adults, and trust that everyone knows right from wrong, and understands the ramifications of such issues.

We in no way intended to cause trauma, downplay anyone’s trauma, or ‘insult’ anyone with mental health issues.

But.

We cannot stop creators from writing things that may include dark topics.

We believe in the portent of trigger warnings required on each story. Because what could be a trigger for you? Could be a cathartic release for someone writing from a similar experience, or someone with an interest in said experiences.

We trust and believe in you all to believe in self-care. Meaning that if someone happens to post a yandere story with a trigger warning for blood? That you would move to the next story. We believe that every reader and creator are the masters of their Tumblr experience and will act in accordance with the safety of their well-being and mental health in consideration.

With that all being said? The h***ler prompt was missed/misstep. Again, we profusely apologize for that one making the list. There is no excuse, I will attempt to offer none. The K Smut Club Admins will do better to be more mindful/careful/watchful of such things in the future.

Now, a point was made during the back and forth of the evening. That one message cleared most of the confusion. A trigger warning on the prompt list. Which in hindsight, may or may not have made a difference. But, it would at least show that we DID hear you about the certain prompts [esp. the h**ler one, cause that should've never gone up. So we thank that member for catching it].

So going forward, since this has been a lesson, we will make sure to trigger warning as best we can for the next Monster Smash event. As a reminder, the prompts are purely voluntary to serve as an example of what you could possibly write. None of these were mandatory, or necessary to participate in the event.

Again, with any event the idea of your story and where it goes is always up to you, the creator.

To the matter of the prompt examples list?

We can all agree to disagree. Everyone perceives things differently. Again, we trust you all to be mindful of the rules and not write anything that would be considered illegal. For example:

A brother and sister find an old door in their basement that wasn’t there before.

Hansel and Gretel; or Brother and Sister monster hunters, sister gets kidnapped by demon that’s been lusting over Brother. Or in secret relationship with brother - sister is kidnapped with ultimatum to come on over to the bad side or they’ll make the sister disappear. So, no incest.

The abused animals of a zoo are unleashed and wreak havoc on a small town.

Based on James Patterson’s Book ‘Zoo’[and there was a miniseries]. Animals of the world suddenly developed a genetic abnormality that caused them to rise up and try to take the planet back. Believe it or not? There was romance/sex involved in the people trying to save the animals, the world, and themselves. One of the scientists fell for a reporter as they worked together for a cure. The story written could have the two people getting together and that amount of care they have for solving the menace - solves it. So, no abused animals.

Deceased soldiers return to their Civil War-era homes.

Based on multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. People that may have died with strong regrets and the people who miss them terribly are given an opportunity to come back for one day. Fully alive, flesh and blood, breathing living - to spend one day with each other to help them move on. Also the movie Warm Bodies where a zombie regains his humanity, and undoes the curse of the undead by falling in love, of all things. The ‘zombie’ fully regains his humanity, living breathing, and bleeding - there’s even a kiss. So, no necrophilia.

A monster is terrified by the scary child who lives above his bed.

Based on Monsters Inc. and I’ve seen some Monster Inc Kpop fic smut out there, so it’s absolutely possible to have a single parent cleaning a kids room and shenanigans ensue, or not, and just be a super crack horror fic.

A family dog runs away from home. He returns a year later to the delight of his family. But there’s something different about him. Something demonic.

Based on Pet Sematary, Stephen King classic. Synopsis could be that parents lost a family pet, trying for a child, pet returns, horror ensues.

A child sleep-walks into their parent’s room and whispers, “I’m sorry. The devil told me to.”

Based on Case 39. A movie where the kid was a literally a demon posing as a child, and manipulated everyone around her and caused a bunch of deaths/mishaps.

I’ve made these few scant examples to prove there was no ill, illegal, or sick intent with the prompts posted. Each of them can be connected to a movie, book, or television series that many are familiar with.

Even though the rules state smut is required, where the smut happens within prompt depends on the story. But, wherever it should so appear would be required, of course, to act within the bounds of the clubs rules.

Because we trust you, the creators, to abide by them.

In closing,

Everybody has had different experiences in their lives. We are not going to pit pain against pain. No one’s pain is greater. Pain is pain and we all have suffered it, or will at some point. We must do what we need to in order to protect ourselves from things that hurt or trigger us.

I believe every network feels this sentiment and uses the trigger warning requirement in order to protect their readers from consuming content which would hurt them, while allowing the creator the opportunity to explore and create in the medium they see fit.

We are all humans trying to navigate a difficult time. We all have our ways to deal with these traumatic and painful happenings in our lives. We either talk about it with our peers who have the same experience, write to forge a path forward to some sort of healing in our own way- or we simply remove that reminder from our sphere of existence.

We will do the best in our capacity, in this network to create a space for both the reader and the creator to do what is best for them, while following all legal statutes set forth by Tumblr and the laws of the US where it is based.

If there are any club members that have issues with any of the prompts - we ask that you please DM the admin staff off anon, so that we can get an accurate count of the individuals that take offense.

There will be no bashing, no repercussions, or public shaming.

We want to make sure that the people in our network have a say in what happens within the club events. Just because we can see the story in the prompts, doesn’t mean everyone can. We would be happy to discuss the prompt or prompts in question, with examples or sources to assuage any fears that you have.

For those who were hurt, disturbed, disappointed, or felt the negativity wrought by this?

We again, humbly apologize that you have. We hope that we can move forward with the event and the growth of the club with your blessings and participation.

Sincerely, The Admin Team

P.S. - Death threats, threats of any kind are not ok. We’re all adults here. If you disagree then your blog is the space to do it. Stay out of folks DMs with that bullshit because you disagree - that goes for anybody that has spoken out disagreeing with the club and anyone outside toward the members within the club. We have differing opinions they should be respected. No one should be victimized any further than already experienced.

#announcements #monster smash 2020 #ksmutclub

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farmerlan · 5 years ago

Note

thank you so much for the honorifics post! i was wondering if you have any recommendations for dramas where the cultivation world exists side by side with a royal court? mxtx ignores the existence of any type of empire and i'm curious to see how terms of address, honorifics, and language in general differs with the inclusion of different social ranks (i'm watching 月上重火 right now and the mix of both worlds is super interesting). Thank you again!!

This is a super good question and I’m going to answer it with the limited knowledge that I have haha. If I am way off base here and/or if other people have recommendations, I hope they can add to this!

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’ll play fast and loose with the definitions here and throw in some wuxia (a lot of them have fantasy/martial arts elements even though there’s no specific reference to cultivation) and also some ‘royal court’ settings within the cultivation world. A lot of xianxia actually do have some element of royalty (e.g. characters being royalty of the heavenly realms etc.) and the honorifics employed here for the large part cross over to the imperial dynastic setting. AFAIK there is not really a drama out there with a perfect blend of both xianxia and historical court intrigue in the strictest sense (the two worlds don’t really mix) – hence my taking liberties.

Warning: not all of these shows have a happy ending.

Side note for anyone who needs a quick explanation on wuxia vs. xianxia:

Wuxia is the genre of martial arts stories, sects, often set in ancient China, these tend to be ‘real world’ setting stories except the people practice martial arts, there’s sects and and it’s set in the jianghu, the pugilist world, which… is kind of both a shared world with the secular world of regular human beings and an alternate world upon itself. I know, I’m doing a terrible job of explaining this. It’s basically historical fiction.

At the risk of hugely oversimplifying genres, xianxia is baaaaasically wuxia on fantasy drugs. It adds Daoist influences and that’s how you end up with the concept of cultivation sects (as opposed to martial arts sects), immortality, the realms, ghosts and ghouls etc. Again, I’m grossly oversimplifying, but in terms of honorifics and broad concepts, there’s a huge amount of crossover. Xianxia really exploded as a genre in more recent years and is now the popular kid on the block, but wuxia is the OG. I’m showing my age here.

Ashes of Love (香蜜沉沉烬如霜)

This was like THE hottest drama in recent years until The Untamed came along. Since the protagonists are royalty (in the heavenly realm), there’s a lot of usage of court-specific honorifics (殿下，皇上，臣 etc.) Story is very focused around the love triangle though, which I’m fine with but as with all love triangles, it’s very will-they-won’t-they. Also the soundtrack is really good haha.

Legend of Fuyao (扶摇)

This is more wuxia with fantasy elements. It’s broadly a coming-of-age romance story, but there is a lot more state affairs and politics rolled into it as there’s five kingdoms (all fictional). Starts strong, but ends with a mediocre second half. IMO Fu Yao is a well-written, strong female character that also benefits from Yang Mi’s acting, although a lot of Chinese viewers also think she’s a Mary Sue. So if you do watch this I’m interested to see what you think!

Ever Night (将夜)

Set in the Tang dynasty, this is probably the most relevant to what you’re asking! It’s a combination of cultivation, and kingdoms, with some cultivators leading kingdoms. We follow the path of our male lead protagonist on his quest for vengeance (what else) and cultivation.

With that said, I will say that the relationship between the male protagonist and his love interest has an …interesting and somewhat controversial premise that I won’t spoil here but DM or google if you need to know. Full warning: it suffers from pacing problems, so I don’t know if I would wholeheartedly recommend it, but thought it would be remiss of me not to. If you thought Legend of Fuyao was long, oh boy you’re in for a ride. No lie, I fast forwarded through a bunch of it.

Nirvana in Fire (琅琊榜)

This is a non-romance wuxia historical drama. I just wanted to squeeze this in here even though there’s no mention of cultivation anywhere because it’s SO. GOOD. Without the distraction of a huge romance plot, the show really deals with the ideas of rebirth, revenge and politics. It’s also benefits from being extremely well-written from a plot perspective – there’s a lot of believable politicking, both within and outside the palace. We’re talking sects, officials, alliances, princes, wives, concubines. We’re talking characters with depth and ACTUAL logical motives beyond “I had to write it that way to advance the plot”. We’re talking Princess Nihuang, who is THE Merriam-Webster definition of badass. There’s also a Season 2 (completely different story set 50 years after), which I haven’t seen but have heard it’s great.

/side note on honorifics: If you want honorifics, *slaps drama* this bad boy can fit so many honorifics in it. And to be honest, I think that the key to understanding honorifics is to understand the underlying social structures and concepts (respect, familiarity, positions of power) that existed in ancient China as a whole, and that’s not genre specific. And once you’ve grasped it, it really doesn’t hinder your understanding of the novel/drama if you don’t know the exact difference between words like 师傅 and 师父 as long as you grasp the fundamental meaning if I’m being 100% honest.

#xianxia #wuxia #recs #meta #guys i really only watch so many dramas so please let me know what else you would recommend so I can add it to my list too haha #why are these posts so long when i've already tried to keep it short

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kingeggie · 5 years ago

Text

I made a discord a few weeks ago, but recently I modified it and I want to open it up to the public! Below are the rules if you want to read them before joining, and moderator applications will be coming soon. Link to discord is at the bottom!

1 • Please be respectful to other members;

↳ Don't be racist or intentionally rude or offensive;

↳ Please avoid controversial topics such as politics, religion, social issues, etc. in order to prevent disagreements and arguments.

2 • No users under 13 as per Discord's TOS;

↳ This server is PG13, so please refrain from mentioning mature themes (e.g explicit sexual themes, drugs, violence, gore, etc.) unless accompanied with a Spoiler tag. The easiest way to mark your message as a Spoiler is by highlighting the text, right click, Mark as Spoiler

3 • This ought to be a positive server;

↳ Be open-minded, respectful and accepting of others' opinions. If conflict arises, please make sure to take it to DM or ask for an admin or moderator's help;

↳ Using the server as a venting space for what's bothering you in real life could be harmful to others who would like to avoid such issues. Some topics, we found, would be better if taken to DMs with a trusted friend.

4 • Be careful when posting personal information or information related to other individuals, as it could be dangerous to your and their privacy;

↳ Make sure to get consent if you're going to share someone else's pictures;

↳ If posting someone else's fanarts or fanfictions, make sure to source and/or credit.

5 • ❗NO PEDOPHILIC CONTENT ALLOWED❗

↳ This includes anything NFSW with underage characters, adult/child relationships, and even 'aged up' characters. Automatic ban if this rule is broken.

6 • Final rule, remember to have fun!

↳ Suggestions for new rules, categories and/or channels are most welcome! Throw a message in the❓ ask-a-question❓ channel.

Click here to join the discord!

#campcamp #camp camp #campcampdiscord #camp camp discord #campcampdavid #camp camp dadvid #campcampmax #campcampgwen #campcampoc #campcampneil #campcampnikki

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ironforgedrp · 6 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm a (hopefully) first time admin and I've got everything ready to go and set up but I'm really nervous that it won't get off the ground, and you guys have been open for so long do you have any tips for me how to make my RP be as successful as yours? It looks like such a good place, I hope it's not weird to ask this

hi there friend, thank-you so much for your compliments, and don’t stress… i’m happy to offer some advice, i’m no expert whatsoever but i’ve run a few roleplays over the past decade or so. the key note firstly is to think of your RP as your kind of group ersatz family, as the admin you’re the head of that family. you keep everyone on course, you’re the gatekeeper and it’s your standards that set the tone for what happens in your family’s house. and i first want to tell you honestly that it is a little bit of a responsibility; you have to be willing to sort out problems, make decisions, mediate, diffuse and sometimes be on the receiving end of anon hate or the occasional jaded RPer, you have to be motivated and encouraging and dedicated - but if you are, the people who you write and create with will give it back to you tenfold & it will never become a drag. i hope this helps you a bit!

decide if you want a co-admin or you think you can handle it yourself - i personally have done solo-adminning, lead admin with moderators & co-adminned with up to four people. though i’ve found that, if you want to work with a team of mods/admins, having an odd number can be really helpful as you’re never tied. also, if you decide to bring in a co-admin or moderator, have a clear idea of how you want to operate as a roleplay and what you expect of them as admins, and whether or not they have an equal say as you, the creator of the roleplay. if they do, make that clear and if they don’t, make it clear what things you need to have a look over and what things they are able to handle alone (i.e. asks, applications, major plot changes). honestly, the worst thing that can happen is if you’re not on the same page because it confuses you, them and your muns.

don’t jump the gun, patience is key. if you’re hoping to have a long running roleplay then i would expect at least a month of work to be put into it before it’s trotted out, but it sounds like you’re already ready to go. make sure, before you open for activity, you have enough muns & characters to get the roleplay off to a healthy start and have the dash reasonably active.

set rules that are clear, but don’t be a dictator - make sure you have expressed clearly what your rules of conduct are (such as dash conduct, mun age restrictions [if any], activity standards, god-modding, banned/acceptable faceclaims, etc.)

set up an ads blog, and queue ads to post semi-regularly with varied but relevant tags and an eye-catching graphic &/or summary of your roleplay

set up a discord server or another way for your muns to communicate and plot OOC, it really helps muse and communication and also can be a fantastic way to build plots with existing characters and muns. and, lets be honest, it’s nice to be able to chat with the folks you’re writing with.

check in with everyone! make sure your muns are comfortable and happy and no one is falling by the wayside or being left out. also, it’s nice to make sure that your muns are alright personally - by no means pry, but be an open ear if someone needs to talk. you’d be surprised how many in the RPC are often too shy or anxious to admit to an admin that they need time for their mental health, work, study, etc. but if you make it clear from the beginning that you actually do care and are willing to help work with people it makes all the difference.

the most important to me: build rapport!!! the best thing for your roleplay, as an admin, is to do your absolute best to be approachable and have a relationship with your muns. you obviously don’t have to be best friends with everyone and talk every day, but believe me, what makes a roleplay last is the community you build behind it. i love having made such talented and varied friends in ironforged - we have voice chats and some of us facetime and/or text, we watch tv shows together and even help each other out with anything from personal problems to university assignments. our community is what helps us withstand all the trials and tribulations, and it’s what has given our roleplay such fantastic plot drops and progressions. the main point is, from the get-go, make sure your muns know that your DMs are always open if they have questions, queries, rants, concerns, ideas… all of the above.

trigger warnings, which obviously depends on the genre you’re in but, i personally would suggest to offer your muns the ability to tell you what their triggers are privately and list them somewhere on the main blog for the other members to see.

embrace being an admin, and don’t get walked over. don’t forget that this is your roleplay, you created it and put the work in and no one (anon or not) can tell you how to run it. don’t be scared to call out people for breaking the rules, don’t be scared to issue warnings, don’t be scared to reject people if they haven’t read the rules or aren’t the right fit for your roleplay or make you uncomfortable, don’t be scared to say no. it’s okay!

have open eyes, ears and mind; listen to feedback and concerns, hear out grievances and be willing to be polite even if people are being rude but don’t entertain pointless anon hate. speaking of anon hate… don’t turn off the anon ask option unless you honestly feel like it is the right route for you - it shuts off the ability for people to contact you whilst maintaining some anonymity and privacy, which can be discouraging.

crucial to any roleplay is the world-building, have a page with some key locations that are applicable to your roleplay (such as cafes, taverns, gyms, shops, housing locations), also i’ve honestly found that it helps setting the scene. consider where your roleplay is located (real place/fictional place) and make those details clear. paint the picture, immersion is a fantastic thing and it’s something both you and your muns can work on and collaborate on in the future. we have an inspo blog, pinterest boards, spotify playlists, youtube playlist, ambiance playlists, regional locations and business…. and a very colourful NPC list that has been collaborated and expanded upon throughout the life of ironforged.

have clear direction and at minimum a loose idea of where you want to go with your roleplay. even if you don’t want to have a very plot driven roleplay (like ours is with plot drops, random events, character/mun interwoven plots - which requires a long-form type of roleplaying) and would rather have it open world (you set the scene, and everyone just goes with the flow - which can be both long or short form types of writing) - it is so important to have some tricks and surprises in your bag. the best and easiest is having a few muse-boosting tasks lined up, perhaps a group event to bring people together (a party, a fight, a ball, a wedding, etc.) otherwise, 8.5 times out of 10, you’ll find muse flatlining. ask your muns! ask other rps! make a poll! hit up the RPC tags and roleplay helper blogs!

the finer details; pick a timezone to mark the roleplay with (eg; here i post in AEST on the roleplay because i am australian and it’s easy for me to queue and schedule things) but it’s crucial to ensure you include the timezone equivalent for other people in other timezones to be able to quickly understand (eg; AEST = GMT+10). you can always link an external timezone converter page if you’re unsure!

and, of course, be organised. make sure you have your pages set up and linked properly. the main that come to my mind to start off with are; navigation, plot, taken FCs, IC & OOC rules, a masterlist, blogroll/follow list, application/application page, application counts, ask & submit are open and an ooc page.

and LASTLY, this is my personal advice from one admin to another; if you really want a roleplay to work and you really want it to last for (hopefully) years, then you have to put some heart into it. our roleplay, as a group, has seen some bad times and good times galore. we’ve had people become seriously ill, we’ve had engagements and weddings, graduations, a fair few birthdays, hospital trips/emergencies, international internships, personal problems, personal triumphs… our communication as a roleplay isn’t always perfect, but we continue to do our best - and working on our communication is what allows us to keep going on through everything.

also, as an admin, do your best to make sure you are not the most powerful character and not center of all the roleplays controversy, drama and plot drops (if applicable), it’s become a kiss of death cliche, and also can alienate potential muns because they feel like background players to your show. but seriously, involve everyone and give a shout out for peoples interest, and the ideas that come flowing back from your muns will amaze you, trust me!

best of luck! admin tee.

#rpc #rph #rpa #rpcha #admin help #;; geajhdsb pEOple wanna know my opINON???? im touched but im trash water u doin here folks #Anonymous

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