#then we had Qur'an! was fun ^-^

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Desert Planet

Stephen King: so i'm gonna go over to space coven tonight to tell a story Clive Barker: what, the sci fi nerds? good luck with that King: oh they're not so bad once you get to know them, clive Barker: i do not intend to know nerds

King: look, clive, you know mary goes over to the sci fi campfire sometimes Barker: i do not believe it King: it's true! she invented sci fi, you know Barker: mary shelley? OUR mary shelley? the queen witch? Barker: she invented being a nerd?

Barker: oh steve Barker: you can't expect me to swallow that whopper King: it's true! edgar, tell him Poe: steve's right, clive. she really did Barker: Barker: well now i just don't know what to believe

King: i know those sci fi guys are a little odd but King: if you ever want to read a prose version of a mildly confusing math problem King: i mean bam they're your guys! Barker: Barker: yeah well Barker: have fun with that

King: you know, clive a lot of science fiction actually deals with important issues in today's society? King: they really make you think [at space coven] Robert Heinlein: so once we space-stead Pinochet's Gulch on an asteroid, we'll be free from the tyranny of age of consent laws

[at space coven] King: so in this story they invent a way to travel through space King: but you have to be unconscious for it to work Frank Herbert: i have a better idea for space travel Herbert: what if you had to get really blasted

Herbert: let me explain my vision steve Herbert: In a distant time Herbert: And far away place Herbert: The planet Arrakis floats deep in space Herbert: Sky of three suns Herbert: Land of precious spice Herbert: The melange rush brought great houses at any price

Herbert: Then one day, a Muad'Dib appeared Herbert: With powers of hawk, wolf, puma and bear Herbert: Protector of peace, scion of the Bene Gesserit ladies Herbert: Champion of justice, Marshall Paul Atreides! King: King: hey how many of those mushrooms did you eat

Herbert: so the important thing about Dune, okay Herbert: is there's all this political intrigue Heinlein: and worms? Herbert: yeah yeah there's gonna be worms Herbert: let's talk about these factions though Heinlein: how big are the worms

Herbert: you're gonna love this story Herbert: though its not as great as the melodic beauty & divine truth of the 114 surahs of the Qur'an Heinlein: Herbert: inshallah Heinlein: why do you always have to put so much islam in it Herbert: i just Herbert: i just think its neat

Mary Shelley: [busting into clearing] sup fuckers Shelley: who's ready for their weekly beating? Heinlein: no! no! not mary shelley! Heinlein: have mercy!!! Heinlein: here, take all our lunch money! Heinlein: just don't punish us anymore!

King: mary! Is this what you've been doing when you come to this campfire? Shelley: [wailing on Heinlein] what? oh yeah, p much.

[notetaeker]

March 30, 2024 - Saturday  | Ramadan Challenge 20/30

Spring is here! At the corners of streets at the tips of the branches of trees that have hibernated thru winter, coming alive again with the deluges of March and April, soaking in water that rushes down the street corner, and making from it a display of colors; blooms to signify the start of the season.

🕌 i'tikaf or qiyamul-layl: This Ramadan unfortunately has been physically difficult for me. For previous Ramadans I have great memories staying up with my mom and spending the night praying, reading qur'an, eating snacks and taking naps lol Sometimes my mom's friends' would invite us over for qiyamul layl kind of like a sleepover 💞 Even during covid we had one virtually. It's a lot of fun to do it together tbh 10/0 would recommend doing qiyamul layl with friends / fellow islamic community ppl!

[laughter-of-the-rose]

Alhamdulillah, over the roughly seven months I've had this blog I've had a number of lovely muslim blogs follow me back. I've noticed that you each represent a variety of sects which has intrigued me. Oftentimes within our communities it's easy to feel comfortable in our bubbles and subconsciously bias ourselves away from anything different.

I've done a bit of independent research into shia and salaffism but oftentimes the literature is very blunt and doesnt capture the emotion of a follower of a sect. The unique formula of love and devotion to your own beliefs is lost in the definition and examination of academic study.

So I'd love to hear from each of you what you follow and why. What is your logic but also what is the beauty and charm of your personal sect that fills your heart with faith?

I appreciate this can be a sensitive or polarizing topic for some so I'd recommend responding via anonymous asks. My interest in the topic is merely to listen and understand so I will merely post your response without any commentary from myself.

It makes sense that I should start with myself.

I follow the Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jama'ah, following the Hanafi school of thought with sufi spiritual leanings although I do not follow a sufi tariqa much of the gatherings I attend are Naqshbandi.

Why? Well, the easiest answer is that I grew up in this community. Although reality is not as simple as that. My mother is a devout Christian protestant and certainly tried her best to instill a belief in Christianity within me. I feel this is what led me to my current beliefs. While I was a teenager Christianity seemed much more appealing to me as more of my friends were Christian and it seemed like they just had more fun, there were less rules and as a teenager that's all you think about. However, I could never do it. I could never renounce Islam and it took me a long time to work out why. Ultimately it came down to two things that were completely irrefutable in my heart and in my mind: the oneness of Allah swt and the miracle of the Qur'an, both its uncorruptibility and accuracy to modern scientific understanding.

So this cemented me as a muslim, but why the sect and spirituality? Let's start with the sufism. The unity of Allah has been something I have pondered for many, many years with varying concepts and degrees of understanding. It was only some years ago that I realised that the sufi doctrine of Ibn Arabi was the first time my own intuitions had been spelled out for me in a way I could actually understand. Truly, unity can be seen across everything and if Allah and his 99 names are all pervasive then that same unity must expand far beyond the horizons of our human perception. Sufism acts as an access point to Allah and the various tariqas are inherited directly from the prophet (pbuh).

This leads me neatly into my chosen sect and madhab. As we have seen with Christianity and as the Allah swt states in the Qur'an is true for all previous religions is that they change over time and have become corrupted. I choose to follow the sunnah (the way of Muhammad pbuh) because he was chosen to recite the Qur'an to us but was also chosen to embody all of its teachings, philosophy and lifestyle in perfect form. Where else can I logically go to learn the major aspects of faith? However, it is rarely as simple as that and we know that Islam as practiced shifted over time from the first revelation until the prophet's passing. So it makes sense to apply the same logic as with the above in following what is closest to how Muhammad (pbuh) left the state of Islam. To the best of my knowledge, Imam Hanafi is the closest living scholar of fiqh to the time of the prophet's life and so he would have learned most closely to the sahaba. Surely, the sahaba did not need to follow an imam because their imam was the prophet Muhammad pbuh and he would have taught and corrected and answered their questions as needed.

Ultimately, I try to seek roots that are closest to the revelation and he (pbuh) who revealed it. I havent chosen a tariqa yet as I havent learned enough about each individually to differentiate but I will likely follow the same logic there.

Thank you for reading so far. I await eagerly to what responses may come through. This doesnt even need to be restricted solely to Islamic sects. Feel free to share your beliefs wherever they may lay.

As said above, this is purely a listening excercise. I'm not looking to stoke disagreements but promote understanding inshallah. As many popular sufis have said, "there are many paths to truth" and I would like to hear yours.

[valalice]

HI!! i’m the anon who went to the saudi trip yesterday and boy do i have an update

okay so, when we went to the cultural center, it was GORGEOUS i wish i could put some pics (you can search saudia ithra) but it was HUUGEEE and the building was stunning

first they took us to the library area. FOUR FLOORS FILLED WITH BOOKS I WAS SO EXCITEDDDDDD I found some books i’ve been wanting to read so bad but it’s borrow only </3

then when the other bus of students came, the tour started and this woman explained to us about the impact islam had on some of the art pieces and its significance in the first gallery.

then she took us to another gallery which shows old artifact and calligraphy, even some pieces dating back to 1200 years ago WHICH IS CRAZYYYY. i saw old fighting armor and swords which was so fucking awesome?? like WOAH?? there were also some gorgeous paintings which showed how calligraphers often worked closely with painters, illuminators and gilders to create pages of great beauty from illuminated frontispieces for manuscripts of the Holy Qur'an and i was basically in awe the entire time.

we saw some crazy huge completely handmade carpentry and ceramic which was stunning. the mechanics of it (from what i understood) was that it was build to bring cool air in and keep it there back in the day. they showed us spanish pottery, also so beautiful that i fear my storage is gonna explode from HOW many pictures i took 🧍‍♀️

after that, they took us to the energy/science exhibit and the science nerd in me was jumping up and down but unfortunately they were rushing because we had to go and eat BUT it was so much fun there were tiny games where you could play and see how extracting oil works, how anticline and fault traps work for oil and how certain rocks are formed. i wwiiiisshh we continued since there also was a knowledge tower which i was interested in going.

after eating, they took us to this walk open area with restaurants and cafes to chill a little before we had to go. and as we were JUST about to leave, someone fainted and from there it went downhill because someone had a panic attack about it and it was crazy but thank god they’re okay. but when we were in the bus, a girl who was with the one who fainted told us that she had heart and stomach problems but didn’t take her medication soon and only took it after she drank coffee on an empty stomach and apparently her antibiotics were super strong and you had to eat first which is why she passed out and wasn’t able to move for a bit. god bless her soul i’m so glad she’s okay but girl 🧍‍♀️ and apparently it wasn’t the first time she’s done this especially since she knows how bad it can get? 😭

but she’s good now, i’m beyond happy about that and we reached back home at 9:30 pm when we were supposed to go back home at 5:30 pm 🧍‍♀️ over all it was reallllly fun despite the little turn of events.

okay WOW this is super long, i am soooo sorry about that 😭 you don’t have to respond to it <3

EKKK THANK YOU FOR GETTING BACK TO ME NONNY!

aww i wish i could see your pictures :( i guess anon doesn't allow you guys to upload pictures which is unfortunate, but i look it up and it looks incredible oh my god! and seeing a library like that must've been one of kind (a shame you couldn't take any of the books you found home 😞)

the art and history section ahhhh! i love art history that it's so cool that you learned all of that and was able to experience it all in person, definitely a little jelly haha. the armor and swords!!!! i love seeing that stuff so much, i could stare at it for forever just picking out the interstate details they'd put into those kind of thinks back then, and how they actually used to fight wearing it! 1200 years ago is insaneeeee, even now i'm still wrapping my head around humans being around for that long and all the advances that were made back then! i'd be in awe too if i wear you girl (and the photo storage i get that too, so many thing to capture but so little room on my phone)

fellow science nerd ahhh, so sad you guys didn't get to spend longer in the exhibit :(

oh my god i'm sorry to hear that about the girl :( glad she's okay though! and hopefully things like that don't happen to her too often, she's gotta be looking out for her health!

ahhh i'm so happy you had fun nonny! it definitely sounded like an eventful trip (minus the accidents towards the end) :b

[crescentmp3]

oh WGAT?? its my dads birthday?? whoops

[apenitentialprayer]

Muslims have stories about jinn that can be converts to Judaism, Christianity or Islam, right? Is there any stories of fantastical testimonies of faeries converting to Christianity and living as Christians in fairy lore, say from Ireland? It’s fun to think that it could be the case Jesus said “preach the Gospel to All of Creation”; implying that non-human beings could be faithful followers of Jesus to.

Yeah, Islam does have stories about jinn converting to human religions! In fact, Muhammad is believed to have been overheard by some groups of jinn while he recited the Qur'an, who in turn spread the message of that faith to other members of their community, making Muhammad a messenger to both humanity and the jinn (and thus to ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ, or al-'alamīn, usually translated as "all the worlds").

I'm personally not familiar with a direct parallel between Muhammad's preaching to the jinn and Christian missionary work to faeries in our religious folklore, but I can think of a couple of possible starting points for your own research.

First, there is a Swedish folksong called Herr Mannelig, which features a troll woman "with a deceitful tongue" (Hon hade en falskeliger tunga) who offers a Christian knight riches and gifts in exchange for his hand in marriage. This is an example of a larger Nordic folkloric motif in which a non-human being attempts to earn the love of a human being in order to gain a soul of their own ("Had I gotten that handsome squire / from my torment I would be free now," Hade jag fått den fager ungersven / Så hade jag mistat min plåga). Hans Christian Andersen would actually turn this motif on its head in The Little Mermaid, where the mermaid attempts to earn the love of the prince in order to gain an immortal soul, but ultimately is given a chance at eternal life because she chose to love the prince and place his life over her own.

Moving to an Irish story collected by W.B. Yeats, we have a story in which the fair folk ask a man to ask a local priest whether or not they will be saved on the last day. The priest tells the man to relay a message back to them: "If they want to know, [they are] to come to me themselves, and I'll answer that or any other question they are pleased to ask." Sadly, we don't get an answer, because the story ends with the fair folk fleeing when this message is relayed to them, and the man goes back to eating dinner with the priest.

For a more ancient example, there are hagiographic accounts of Saint Anthony the Great (§8) encountering a satyr in the desert, who claims to belong to a race of beings who "the Gentiles [were] deluded by various forms of error [to] worship." This being acknowledges the God worshiped by Anthony, proclaims that He came into the world to save it, and asks for Anthony's blessing on behalf of all the satyrs. Anthony, overwhelmed with emotion, praises God for the satyr's testimony and condemns Egypt for worshiping creatures instead of the Creator.

What these stories have in common is the fairies' own desire to be saved. If we were to apply a Catholic framework to this, where God instills certain desires in us in order that they find their fulfillment, it seems odd to me that God would give them such feelings without means of fulfilling the them (of course, there is the argument that such feelings are actually disordered, that the desire to experience the human afterlife is at variance with whatever fate awaits them, a fate better for them but ultimately unimaginable to me, at least).

But yeah. Anyway, the existence of spirits akin to the jinn is not canonized in Christian thought the way it is in Islam, and even if such spirits do exist we don't know their actual nature, but there are stories that show some Christians believed that such creatures would be concerned about their eternal fate.

[uma1ra]

A deeper look into this hadith:

Remember Allah, praise him and exalt him, this is our number one obligation.

Next, one of the highest virtues we can uphold is love for humanity and to work towards a common good.

In a global pandemic when the world seems to be falling apart, economies going down, fear and worry on the rise, how should we react? Do we shrink inwardly and focus on ourselves or do we try to resist that instinct and instead show courage, faith, and patience?

The teaching of the Prophet (ﷺ) was to never put ourselves above others. He always advocated kindness and generosity. The rule was to serve, to be of service, to try and help ease the burden on others.

For some, this could mean donating money and making a financial contribution. If that's not an option, you can donate and be generous with your time. If you're unable to do that, you can help by being cheerful and kind instead of being a complainer.

Abu Dharr reported God's messenger as saying, “Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.” Muslim transmitted it.

- Mishkat al-Masabih 1894

The Qur'an also reminds us that those who intercede or work for a good cause will benefit on the day of judgment for their actions (see the Quran verse at end of the newsletter).

But engaging in such acts is not always as pleasant as it seems. It can be a difficult task and requires some sort of sacrifice on our end. As we grow jaded we often want to avoid that kind of duty, we want to do what we want when we want. To be of service is work and not always the fun choice at the moment. But this is not how we live the good virtuous life.

Our greatest moments are not always ones derived from seeking pleasure but often are a result of being triumphant in the face of discomfort. Living outside oneself towards a meaningful purpose.

The great stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, “What brings no benefit to the hive brings none to the bee”

And the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had said: Richness does not lie in the abundance of (worldly) goods but richness is the richness of the soul (heart, self). (Sahih Muslim 1051)

These kinds of riches are only reserved for those who render a fortune of service.

[lonelygueen]

A Look at the Covid-19 Pandemic from the Patients' Treatise

Bediuzzaman Said Nursi tried to understand the universe, man and the human condition in the light of the Qur'an and in line with the Sunnah in his life for more than 80 years. He bequeathed the results he reached to us with his 6,000-page Risale-i Nur Collection.” We can see that Bediuzzaman gave answers to existential questions with his pamphlets for the sick and elders, and the youth guide he wrote for young people. The world has been facing the Covid-19 pandemic for exactly a year. The Covid-19 pandemic is a global threat affecting the whole world, it had sudden and unexpected effects on individual and social life and changed our habits. Bediuzzaman, with his pamphlet written about 90 years ago, offered real consolation, a prescription and medicine to the sick and afflicted. Bediuzzaman answered the questions with the truths of this age. He also offered new approaches to misfortune. It recommends that people read and know themselves first and awareness, which is the first remedy for every disease. It teaches to make peace with the disease instead of conflict, to surrender and trust, to be hopeful instead of despair and despair. There has been a global disease and calamity for a year. In the face of this global disease, humanity fell into a great helplessness and went into search. Finland released its statistics. Suicides increased by 15%. Because of the increase in suicides in Japan, the 'Ministry of Loneliness' was established. What message does Bediuzzaman have for this at a time like this? When we examined the Risale-i Nur to see what Bediuzzaman said, we saw that it had advice for diseases and for the elderly. These recommendations show exactly how we will handle this event.” According to a study conducted in the United States between 1950 and 2000, "The proportion of people who say 'I am very happy' in the society has always progressed at the same level between 1950 and 2000, and sometimes even decreased. GDP per capita has increased from $20,000 to $35,000. But happiness remains constant. This result of the research reminds us of the saying, "There is no happiness with money". It reminds us of the American saying, "Money can't buy happiness". The picture we face in Covid-19 shows: Less economic well-being – more poverty, less psychological well-being – more income inequality, less physical comfort – more health problems, less social relationships – more social isolation , less confidence – more loneliness and anxiety about the future, less happiness – more fear of death and more violent events, less fun – more frequent depression, panic disorder, and problems. The World Health Organization also points out that there may be an increase in psychiatric diseases after the pandemic. "So what does Bediuzzaman do in this case?" If we ask the question.. Here, the important topics stand out as follows; There are explanations such as 'Illness enables him to reach his Lord like a ladder', 'He shows a way to find the truth with the rope of illness', 'Changing the perception of the disease reduces his pain and accelerates healing'. Bediuzzaman enables people to discover the need to add meaning and comfort to life. With the burden of disease, it stops time and makes recognition again. It stops time and re-adds meaning to the past, and makes the future look that way according to that meaning. It brings that perspective. He tries to explain the end of eternity by looking at life through the eyes of illness. He tells a terminally ill person about his illness as a one-way ticket to a lover, and thus relieves his despair. It teaches those who use their minds to draw lessons and lessons from sickness and exasperation.”Generally, people are concerned with sickness health, not health health. “After the illness has passed, we need to be able to say what it has given me. There are third generation psychotherapies now used in psychiatry. These treatments have five characteristics. First, it enables to accept a calamity, a trauma, a disease, for example a pandemic. So in these third generation psychotherapies, you will not see the disease as the enemy. Classical psychotherapy saw illness as the enemy. He said it should be destroyed, he saw death as an enemy, he said it should be destroyed. They said fight and defeat death. Since it is not possible to kill death, the person falls into despair more. He was trying to get numb with drugs or forgetting by using drugs and alcohol in entertainment. So he was running away from the world. There are things people can control, there are things they can't. There is what it can do, there is what it can't do. What does a smart person do, what he can't control, what he can't do, in such cases, he re-interprets it, sets positive goals for himself, adds positive meaning, makes positive comments. At this point, Ustad Bediuzzaman gave positive psychology trainings with the Treatise of Patients. We see that he gave training on third generation therapies in the style of positive psychotherapy, which has not been more than 10 years since positive psychotherapy came out. Learn to focus on the opportunity, not the threat. Step 4 teaches to keep hope high. What will you do to keep that person's hopes high? In such cases, the recommendation of third generation psychotherapies is whether the person has a sound mental shelter. Does he have a high faith, he is taken care of. Does his faith believe in a supernatural night, he is being looked at. In therapies, patients are told to take shelter in whatever higher power you believe in. Some have a guardian angel belief, some have a mental shelter."People should be able to use the sense of secure attachment against calamities" “Bediuzzaman's greatest discovery is that he describes the attributes of God, that he succeeds in the imagery of God, and that God's imagery is the most plausible God-image.” People have a sense of secure attachment. If a person cannot use the sense of secure attachment in times of illness and calamity, he cannot keep his hopes high and falls into despair. There is an invisible force, an invisible reality. He sees me, says I am not alone, he can help me. For him, in such situations, that person feels great relief because he feels that he is not alone. prof. Dr. Mustafa Abu Sway said, “Sometimes we may fall into the misconception that the possessions, possessions and rank we have in this world can save us from diseases. The world is ephemeral and temporary. We need to think deeply about the life of the world and what our own life means. Sometimes it may be a problem for us to understand calamities and diseases. This is due to our ignorance. Here I would like to remind what Imam Ghazali said. Injustice is to confiscate and harm another's property. However, just as Allah is just, property and property are his. The owner can save on his property as he wishes. This should be noted first. Disasters, including pandemics, are a call for people to heed the divine message and turn to God.

[rest-in-being]

Allah didn't create us for fun and play. 

The Cursed Shaitan is awake fighting us while we're in heedlessness turning aside. Shaitan won't prevent you from worshiping Allah outright but will steal your time by presenting to you over 70 Options to keep you busy from Allah and all that will turn you to Allah. 

There so many Games and Fun,TV shows, Movies Series, Reality shows, Music videos, etc  that might interest you. In your quest for happiness, fun and releasing stress, 

You shouldn't forget your purpose on earth. Allah said in the Qur'an,

أفحسبتم أنما خلقناكم عبثا وأنكم إلينا لا ترجعون؟

“Do you think that We had created you in vain and that you shall not be returned to Us?”

Time is a razor sharp sword; if you don't cut with it, surely it will cut you. Beware of the enemy!

[dorotontheglow]

keeping it to myself

straight moves. no announcements.

recently i've realized that i tell everyone my business. things that are going on in my life, things i wanna do, things i agree, things i disagree i tell them to everybody like they should know. i've also realized that this makes me sooo unhappy and stressed because for example i talk about politics with my friends and sometimes we don't agree on things (that's okay). every single day i feel like i'm outgrowing my friends or i want different things from life and our values don't match up.

i give advice when no one asks for one. i start talking about politics. i start a conversation that i know will make me anxious but don't know why i still do this.

for all of these reasons i've talked about i've decided to keep things to myself (including my level up journey)

what am i gonna do?

1. i will stop talking about politics. i'll stop voicing my opinions because i know it makes me stressed. politics in general is a sensetive and stressful topic and when you're talking with someone who will judge your opinions it's is even worse.

2. i won't tell anybody my plans or my goals. i won't tell people that i'm trying to clear my acne, they will see it when i get that glass skin. i won't tell people that i'm working out, they will see it when i get more and more fit as the days go. i won't tell people that i read x amount of books a month, they will realize it when i speak. i think it is important to let the journey speak for itself.

3. i'll be lowkey on social media. the more i spend time on my phone, the more i tell people about myself. like i'm always available it's embarrasing. i've already deleted my instagram, i just have my account and i'm not there all the time. i want it to stay that way. i hope i don't post every single day after the university exam. nobody need to know what's going on in my life, what i'm doing at the moment, what i'm listening, who i'm hanging out with etc.

4. don't ask for advice. if i need the opinion of another person in my life it'll be my family or a friend that i trust. i think it's better for me to not ask things because most of the times i know the answer, i just want validation.

5. i won't tell people what i like or don't like. i think this is really important. when you tell someone about something you like they may use it against you, they may make fun of you etc. and honestly, i don't have time for that. same goes for the things that i don't like. i don't like when people leave me on read, i HATE it but when i made it clear to some people in my life they left me on read on purpose. they know that i hate what they're doing yet they still choose to do it. i think it's better to not give them that kind of power.

6. i won't talk about my family problems. there were times where i talked about my family problems with my friends when i was angry and it was a MISTAKE. do not do this. just don't. i regret it now.

7. never reveal too much. this is a generalization of some of the steps. when you reveal too much, people know how to make you uncomfortable. you feel uncomfortable talking about certain things. because i've revealed too much before, i feel really uncomfortable talking about my political views, my religious views etc. with some of my friends. because i feel like they are waiting to attack me or to disagree with me. ALSO i think it narrows your improvement room. one day you think a certain way and one day you think differently but people will remember the things you use to disagree with.

8. don't be shy, drop some friends. this pandemic made me a whole another person and i feel like i don't vibe with some of my friends anymore. we don't think the same way, we don't value the same way, they don't help me improve myself and since they're stuck i can't improve them either. some of my friends started to smoke and when i told them "you weren't like this before, you were against smoking. what changed? i think it's better to not smoke, take care of your health." i was DRAGGED. sorry for trying to not get you killed before 40. also tho i trust myself and my willpower i still don't wanna be around people that are smoking especially knowing my friends they will soon start to drink too and shame me for trying to better myself.

9. don't talk about your religious beliefs. i'm a muslim and i'm trying to level up as a muslim but one of my bad habits is that i tell people "i'm reading the Qur'an", "i want to start praying 5 times a day" and i don't know why, since a lot of muslims around me are not that religious they always think that i'm trying to impose something. i have a best friend and i tell her everything but recently we had an argument-ish thing when she said "i wouldn't mind eatin haram if i was on another country." i was surprised because we always talk about how we wanna become better muslims etc. and i was giving advice when she didn't ask for it so she got mad at me. (don't get me wrong btw, i live in a majority muslim country and %99 of my friends are culturally muslims) the reason why i was doing this is because i know that they're muslims and i don't want them to do something wrong but it's not my place to tell them what is wrong or right as they are themselves muslims and should know better. i won't talk about me becoming a better muslim and what am i doing in order to achieve that. i also won't comment on my friends doing something haram. i don't care about anyones business anymore and i actually don't wanna hear it either.

10. do not gossip. do not care about other people's business. do not hang out with people who gossip. if you don't have anything nice to say keep your mouth shut, you don't need your opinions to be heard ALL THE TIME.

honestly, looking at this list it makes me realize how much i'd have a peace of mind. away from all of the unnecessary arguments, judgements, opinions, stress... ahh, what a beautiful life.

[islamicrays]

Earlier today my youngest was struggling with a subject and didn't want to do it because "it wasn't fun." I had to give him a talk and told him that not everything he does has to be "fun."

After we spoke, as I was washing dishes in the sink and cleaning up the kitchen (not fun at all!), my mind began to drift off and I started thinking about this word fun... F-U-N.

Like other 3-letter words (ex: sin, lie, sex, hit, etc) the word fun has DESTROYED lives, and in its pursuit, so many people have ended up being miserable. It's an insatiable appetite, and yet every single day we're told to have it, sell it, buy it, trade it, give it, take it, make it, etc.

Sometimes a little perspective is necessary, so here's the bottomline:

People of God are SERIOUS people.

They take life seriously AND themselves seriously

And when they pursue "fun," they do it occasionally; they don't LIVE for it and they certainly don't risk their lives for it.

If you're laughing more than you're crying...

If you're playing more than you're praying...

If you're singing more than you're reciting Qur'an

If you're dancing more than you're meditating...

If you're watching more than you're learning...

If you're consuming more than you're sharing...

If you're taking more than you're giving...

You are NOT following the prophetic example at all and actually contradicting it.

وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ ۖ وَلَلدَّارُ الْآخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ ۗ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ - 6:32

And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But far better is the house in the Hereafter for those who are pious. Will you not then understand? (6:32)

“By him in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, if you could see what I see then you would laugh less and weep more.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, what do you see?” The Prophet ﷺ said, “I see Paradise and Hellfire.” (Muslim)

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Whoever is concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will place richness in his heart, bring his affairs together, and the world will come to him although he is reluctant for it. Whoever is concerned about the world, Allah will place poverty between his eyes, disorder his affairs, and he will get nothing of the world but what is decreed for him.”

(al-Tirmidhī)

Ustadha Hosai Mojaddidi

[storytellersumayyah]

The Happy Jar (19/02/22)

1. My cousin had her party for finishing her memorisation of Qur'an and it was so much fun to a) be there and b) see everyone

2. We went to their house after said party and that was also fun because we played a couple of board games

[muhammadkaddoura]

Al Fatihah One of my newer works Alhamdulillah. Instead of talking about Al Fatihah and its meaning, I would like to bring the focus back to the khat i.e the Arabic calligraphy. It is written the both the thuluth Maghribi and the Maghribi mabsut scripts. This script is the first complete evolution of the former kufic script where therein has many sub-scripts to its name. the Maghribi script came from the kufi script because of the rise of the governmental body in the Islamic Calliphate where there was a need to write faster and more smoothly. From right angle to curves, the maghribi script was used in the different aspects of the government. Away from its use in everyday life, it was used to write the mushaf, Al Qur'an. But the the uniqueness of this script was when the Qur'an was written in the script, the Qur'an was written in the riwayat of warsh (narration Imam Warsh for a certain way of Quranic recital) **fun fact, Islam can be read in 10 different ways. The way I wrote the piece was actually according to the normal recitation that most muslim recite today, riwayat Hafs. Although this is technically against the rules of the script, my shaykh, Belaid Hamidi, had mentioned that the ability to read the Qur'an comes before the rules of a certain script meaning that being able to read the letters as they were meant to be takes precedence over the rules of the script. Once people get to know the script and understand its rules, then we as calligraphers must stick to the rules of the script. May Allah help me make this script more well known and give its right and honor around the world. #arabiccalligraphy #hatsanatı #hüsnühat #sanat #art #arte #artgallery #calligrapher #islamicart #calligraphy #kaddouralegacy #kaddoura #kaddouracalligraphy #malaysia #malaysian #usa #american #morroco #hamidi #manhajhamidi (at Ustazah Asni Mansor - Atteen Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/Btm7taZnpJo/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7h37rgay4usy

[wisdomrays]

Killing an Innocent

Killing an InnocentGod Almighty declares that killing an innocent person unjustly is like killing all of mankind and saving a person's life is like saving all of mankind. Could you please explain this? A: Before the relevant verse [1] (Maida 5:32), God Almighty commands the Prophet "Narrate to them (O Messenger) in truth the exemplary experience of the two sons of Adam " and draws attention to the first murder committed on the earth. The First Murder and the Master of Murderers Most Qur'anic interpreters say that the two sons of Adam are Cain and Abel and they give detailed information about the lives of these two brothers. Actually, their names are not mentioned in the Qur'an; but in the ancient scriptures and narrations the names of Adam's sons are mentioned as Cain and Abel. It is for this reason that Muslim scholars have not found anything wrong in referring to the characters involved in the event by these names. At the same time, some have interpreted the "two sons of Adam" to be just two men from the Children of Israel. In truth, one doesn't have to know their names in order to learn a lesson from the parable. What matters is the fact that this event did happen and the expression "in truth" mentioned in the verse shows that this is not a myth, but a true story. As narrated in the Qur'an, they both offered a sacrifice to God; but only one of these was accepted. The brother whose sacrifice was not accepted told the other "I will surely kill you." Despite the fact that killing a person, particularly killing one's own brother, is a great transgression, the murderer, who had lost control due to jealousy, shed the blood of his innocent brother; this brother did not even attempt to struggle against his brother, and he was only a good-intentioned companion. The first murderer of the earth whose unfortunate end is told in the verse (Maida 5:30) "His carnal, evil-commanding soul prompted him to kill his brother, and he killed him, thus becoming among the losers" became the trailblazer on a horrible path which leads to Eternal Fire; he virtually breached a dam that was to be followed by a great flood. For this reason, when God's Messenger narrated this sad event he said: "The son of Adam has a share (of sin) from the blood of anyone unjustly killed; for he was the one who started killing the first time." After relating this tragic event and reminding us of the first murder, God Almighty sets the relative principle, He commands the following to show what a great sin murder is and how great the importance of human life is: "It is because of this that We ordained for (all mankind, but particularly for) the Children of Israel: He who kills a soul unless it be (in legal punishment) for murder or for causing disorder and corruption on the earth will be as if he had killed all mankind; and he who saves a life will be as if he had saved the lives of all humankind." Killing Unjustly and Retaliation The murder stated in the verse as equal to killing all of mankind is limited to "killing an innocent person who did not cause disorder or corruption on the earth." This means that if a person sheds the blood of innocent people, there can be retaliation and that killer can face a penalty similar to his own crime. If such a person causes disorder on the earth and therefore causes people to die, if the killings follow one upon another without the killer thinking why they had taken a life and if the victims do not know why they are being killed-as is happening in some parts of the world today-the criminal or the group of criminals who cause such anarchy can be executed. The people who start wars against God and His Messenger, who cause disorder on the earth, who habitually transgress against people's lives, properties, and chastity, thereby disturbing the order of society, corrupting the generation, should be executed or sent into exile in accordance with the gravity of their crime. However, even if they have committed such crimes, if the transgressors are truly repentant then none of these punishments is to be carried out; rather the case becomes one of a violation of personal rights. That is to say, the people whose relatives have been killed or whose property has been damaged can forgive the perpetrators, or they can ask for retaliation and compensation for the damage if they wish. To express this in modern legal terms, a complaint can be made or it can be withdrawn. In other words, the punishment of intentional murder in this world is retaliation. The heirs of the deceased can withdraw the demand of execution and ask for compensation, or they can forgo this financial penalty as well. However-given that the killer does not repent after the murder and is not granted divine mercy-the punishment of such a great crime in the Hereafter is eternal hellfire. Eternal torment because of committing murder might seem to be too great a punishment. In fact, the sin committed is also great; for to kill a person who does not cause disorder on the earth, who does not unjustly shed blood, and who does not cause corruption to necessitate their own execution is like killing all of humanity. This is because such a murderer has violated the right to live that is granted by God Almighty alone; the prohibition of shedding the blood of innocent people has been violated, an ugly deed has been initiated, and thereby the way for others to do the same has been paved and encouragement has been provided. In addition, even if a murderer kills one innocent person, this murder reveals their personality; it shows that they are inclined to shed blood and commit murder. Someone who has committed one murder in practice has a personality that may potentially kill all people and now their identity in general is that of killer and murderer. Therefore, once having committed that fatal sin, killing another person will not be more difficult for them than the first time; in particular after a few murders, killing will become something ordinary and everyday to them. It is from this perspective that a person who has murdered an innocent soul can be viewed as a murderer of all mankind. Saving a Life Whoever saves a person's life by changing their mind about a murder, by forgiving, or by withdrawing the right of retaliation, or by saving someone from danger, for example, from drowning or being burnt alive, or helping another to survive, is like one who has saved the lives of all people and one who has done that favor for all of mankind. The life-saving mentioned in the verse incorporates forgoing retaliation, not killing, or saving someone from disaster; for the one and only Owner of Life is God, He is the Giver of Life. No one has the power to kill or save in the real sense except for God. Human beings can only become a means for someone to live; they cannot be the true cause. In the Qur'an, Nimrod says: "I give life and make to die," this is expressed with the word ihya (giving life), but his giving of life means only that he refrains from killing and murder. Now, in this sense, a person who saves another's life is-if they can-inclined and willing to save the lives of all mankind. In other words, wherever such a person witnesses injustice, they will immediately try to prevent it. True, in the verse spiritual salvation is not mentioned literally; but if a believer who has faith in God, His Messenger, and the Hereafter speaks about God, His Messenger, and teaches about the faith, this act can in a way be considered to be ihya. Likewise in verses such as: "O you who believe! Respond to God and to the Messenger when the Messenger calls you (in the Name of God) to that which gives you life " (Anfal 8:24) God Almighty uses the word ihya, in order to express human beings leaving behind the animal life and ascending to the level of spiritual life. Therefore, if a believing man helps a person who is slave to their carnal desires to ascend from a merely material life to a spiritual life, they can be considered to have brought the latter to life. In this respect, a believer who strives to inspire others to embrace the faith and tries to become a means for their salvation, in terms of their potential aim, can be considered as one who is ready to save all of mankind. The Most Horrible Kind of Backbiting On the other hand, we know that God made some things hidden among others: the Greatest Names (Ithm al-Azam) are hidden among the beautiful divine names, the acceptance of prayers (Waqt al-Ijaba) is hidden among Fridays, saints among ordinary people, the Night of Qadr among the last ten days of Ramadan, Doomsday within the life of the universe, and the moment of death within a person's lifetime. Likewise, there are such transgressions hidden among sins and evil that they can suddenly topple one over and lead to disaster. As a result of this secrecy, which serves to make believers constantly alert, to watch their step, and to seek refuge in God, there are such types or degrees of sins in the same category that attract divine wrath which will strike like a poisonous snake. As you know, talking about a person behind their back and uttering words that will not please them if they were to hear them is known as backbiting (ghiyba). If what has been said is true, then it is backbiting; if what has been said is a lie, then it is both backbiting and slander; this is several times a greater sin. Together with this, there are also different levels of backbiting (like stairs descending), worse and worse as they go downwards. Those close to God consider even an evil thought to be in the same category, calling it "backbiting of the heart." Indicating somebody by pointing with your finger or making fun of them with facial gestures is also a form of backbiting. Saying such simple things as somebody is short, or their jacket does not suit them is clearly backbiting. Each of these types of backbiting is a sin; they spoil the goodness of this life and they cause trouble beyond the grave. However, there is type of backbiting that is an incomparably dangerous and destructive sin. It is so great a sin that in a hadith it is stated that this kind of backbiting is a sin that is twenty times greater than fornication. For example saying things about a person who represents a group, movement, or a community is a sin of this kind, for the fate of that person is united with the community they represent. Therefore, saying bad things about such a person is saying bad things about an entire community. Moreover, if such backbiting is committed not about an ordinary person but, let's say, about a man of God like Sheikh al-Jilani, or for example, not about a movement or an ordinary community, but a community like the Naqshbandi order and, to make matters worse, if what started as a simple event of saying bad things becomes widespread through the mass media, if this then becomes a great slander campaign, this is such a horrible sin that it might lead to the loss of faith; there are ways in every sin that lead to unbelief. It is such a deadly crime that, if you were to speak against Sheikh Naqshbandi, you would slander the golden chain of saints of the Naqshbandi order. These people, with the light they received from their Sheikh, have enlightened the world since the time they lived up until our time. They have always been spiritual guides for people. Think how evil it is to destroy this light. And if the transgressor makes the act even worse by labeling the people they are slandering with names that end in -ist Then it would be very hard for the slanderer to enter Paradise without asking forgiveness from each member of that community; God's Messenger said "Do not backbite, for backbiting is worse than fornication. If a person fornicates and repents (promising never to do it again) God Almighty accepts his repentance; but the sin of the backbiter will not be forgiven until he is forgiven by the person he has backbitten." But it is possible that the All-Merciful Lord can grant extra blessings, allowing the transgressors to face the people they backbit and He may say "grant forgiveness to this servant of mine." But such a fortunate event depends on a surprise blessing; servanthood is not built on extra blessings. It is for this reason that believers should try to keep away from all kinds of backbiting, so that they will not face such a terrible end. They should free their tongues from such ugly words and purify their minds from evil thoughts and feelings. For the sake of avoiding a disaster worse than fornication, they should avoid even the most trivial negative utterance, saving themselves from committing the greatest of sins without being aware. To avoid having a share of the zaqqum tree in Hell, they should constantly seek refuge in God and be alert against all kinds of disasters of the tongue. Such a Degree of Fitna The same can be said about fitna, which is closely related to our topic. Actually the word fitna has meanings like "deviation, confusion of the mind, differing, falling for something, sinning, unbelief, dazzling beauty, property and children, testing someone, torture, misfortune, or trouble." In nearly sixty verses of the Qur'an, either this word or another word derived from the same root can be found. While even a disagreement between two people can be called fitna, acts aiming to spread unbelief, turning people from God's path, and causing terror in society are also categorized as fitna. Making two people dislike each other is fitna and it is an ugly sin; but fitna also has a type so bad that it invokes divine wrath; it cannot be regarded as equal to other types of fitna, for it can instantly make someone fall into a pitfall of Hell and finish their happiness in both worlds. Therefore, in order not to face such a terrible end, we need to keep away from even the pettiest kind of fitna and eliminate the words and actions that may lead to fitna at the very beginning before they become great crimes. The Qur'an states "fitna is worse than killing " (Baqara 2:191). That is to say, even if all kinds of fitna are not like killing, there is a type of fitna that is even worse than murder. For instance, trying to spread unbelief through brute force, alienating Muslims from their own values, and making younger generations strangers to their own spiritual values, thereby throwing them into a terrible torment in both worlds are all such grave offenses that they are far more dangerous than murdering an innocent person. In some murders, there is fitna and murder intermingled. For example, somebody assassinates an important figure and disappears. Then an innocent person or a group is blamed for that murder. Therefore, the situation becomes a blood feud. Both the supporters of the victim and the slandered group suffer. Thus, the murder is not limited to a single event; it is followed by mutual accusations and it becomes a great fitna. Finally, an unstoppable chain of fitnas has been started, and results in a condition of anarchy where thousands of murders are committed. Unfortunately this kind of fitnas has taken place in the history of Islam and such acts have yielded far worse results than a single murder. For instance, the assassination of the second Caliph, Umar ibn al-Khattab, was not just a simple murder; even more so since, as Hudayfa al-Yamani reported, Umar was a locked door against fitna. After his martyrdom, that door was opened; more correctly, it was broken down. Here we will examine this event in a bit more detail. One day Umar ibn al-Khattab asked Huzayfa about the words of God's Messenger describing fitna that surges like the waves in the sea. Huzayfa answered "O the chief of believers, there is no harm to you from this fitna; for there is a locked door between it and you." When Umar asked "Is that door going to open or be broken down?" Hudayfa answered "It is going to be broken down." Umar said "Then it will not be locked again until the end of the world." When one of his friends asked about that door, Hudayfa's answer was "that door is Umar himself." In this respect, the assassination of Umar cannot be taken as an ordinary murder; it was the breaking down of the door that blocked against fitna, and the opening of way for fitnas to continue until the end of the world. The Qur'anic statement concerned with the murderer of an innocent person, stating that they will stay in Hell forever, must be concerned with murderers like Umar's assassin. What a terrible end! Ibn Abbas and some of the imams from the generation following the Companions of the Prophet inferred from the following verse that somebody who committed murder will suffer eternal punishment in Hell: "Whoever kills a believer intentionally, his recompense (in the Hereafter) is Hell, therein to abide; and God has utterly condemned him, excluded him from His mercy, and prepared for him a tremendous punishment." (Nisa 4:93) Some interpreters of the Qur'an have made a different comment: In the same way that a murderer deserves to be executed in return for the crime they have committed, the same punishment must be given to one who has killed all of mankind. There is no greater punishment to be given. Likewise, as the punishment of the murderer of a single person is eternal Hell, the punishment of one who has murdered all of mankind must be the same. Therefore, a person who has murdered a single person is like one who has murdered all of mankind. The divine statement "Assuredly God does not forgive that partners be associated with Him; less than that He forgives to whomever He wills" (Nisa 4:48) limits the meaning of the verse we mentioned above. However, when we look at the issue on the whole, we will see that even if it is not true that every murderer will stay in Hell forever, there is such a type of murder that the one who commits it will suffer eternal torment. To sum up, as there are degrees of sins, like backbiting and fitna, murder too has different degrees as an offense, depending on the identity and status of the victim, and the results it will bring about. Whoever the victim is, a murder is a grave crime, but assassinating the commander of an army or the head of a state is not the same as killing an ordinary citizen in terms of the chain of events that follow. Again, a murder committed in the Sacred Mosque in Mecca where it is even forbidden to kill an insect or pick tree leaves will not be equal to a murder committed somewhere else. It is for this reason that Ibn Abbas considers killing a Prophet or a leader of believers as equal to killing all mankind. Therefore, those who execute a person whose fate is united with a nation's fate will have issued an execution decree for an entire nation. Those who poison a man of action who devoted himself to the salvation of all of mankind can be considered to have poisoned an entire nation; we can even say that they have poisoned Prophet Muhammad and his Companions. This is such great an atrocity that even if those who commit it are believers, they can never find their way to Paradise unless they are forgiven by all of mankind. So, in order not to commit such a great crime, one should keep away from any type of murder. Similar dangers and the same principle still exist for today's people. When Hasan al-Basri was asked, "is the same principle still valid for us?" he replied: "I swear by God Almighty apart from Whom there are no gods that yes, it is; for the blood of the Children of Israel is not more valuable than our blood." In conclusion, all kinds of unjust murders are great sins; but we can talk about different degrees, depending on the time, place, the identity of the victim, and his status.

[kitschcats]

The Cynic v. Astrology v. Faith v. More Astrology v. All Other Forms of Alleged Bullshit

I’m going to be reposting some older pieces that never made it here. (1/9/2019)

Astrology? Bullshit.

--or so I've been predisposedly conditioned to believe, at least. It might just be my skeptical side, being an all-hatingly pessimistic INTP (at least according to the last 20 times I retook the same MBTI test over and over just to make sure?) in all my sunshine-and-rainbows-and-happiness-allergic, rationale-above-all glory and everything, but astrology Twitter could never quite sell me the idea of the positions of the constellations and the retrograde motions of the planets having any kind of influence on the state of human affairs. The cynic in me could dismiss the idea as too wishy-washy for my tastes, but I think part of me must have thought it was bigger than just that, much bigger--the stars themselves, as well as the very idea that they could directly interfere with our lives. The stars just seemed too far away for that. Wrapped up in bigger, more important dealings of celestial bodies, too distant and too pretty to bother helming such pivotal positions to humanity, and for centuries since, at that.

Perhaps the thought of having someone, or something, so transcendent have a say in our lives in ways we don't, perhaps carving for us predestined paths we can do all but nothing about; the very idea of something bigger than me having control, absolute and unquestioning, over me--over us as a collective species--scares me. A little like faith. (It's curiously ironic--I always thought I'd never be able to rest easy if I didn't die working for or working towards something bigger than I was. A cause, a movement, a fight, a revolution, I just know I'd toss and turn in my grave if it were anything but--and that I'd rather die before I willingly let myself get caught in the rat race and submit to the corporate world so highly favoured by our capitalist society--yet here I am, cowering in fear of the governance of something bigger than me, over me.)

God--if she/he/they/such an entity exist(s)--and I have had a complicated relationship ever since I was told by my ustazah to keep the questions I had about dinosaurs in the Qur'an to myself. There was a lot of questioning of my faith and even more committings of blasphemy, and to tell the honest-to-God-capital-G (ha!) truth this seems like the perfect spot in a sentence to interject a "but," but there is no real but. Sike. We use "but"'s as conjunctions for when what we're about to say contrasts with what was just said prior, but in this case there are no contrasts, no opposites, no contraries, no nilai-nilai murni, no pesan moral cerita, and there is no happy ending to forgive my unpious doubts.

A good chunk of my time I find myself questioning what I believe in and what I don't and why. Suppose I be a good Malay-Muslim girl, get lots of pahala, and masuk syurga, where it's sunshine and rainbows and happiness forever--and then what? Is the promise of forever all there is to it, to drive believers to do good deeds and not commit sins and continue to fear God? Hollywood clichés may be a stale comparison to this, but we've seen it in movies, it's a painfully repetitive trope: poverty, suffering, Miracle Magic, fame, wealth, drunken indulgence, wear-tear, boredom, dissatisfaction, greed, The Big Mistake, followed by The Bigger Crash, regret, The Retribution-and-Subsequent-Begging-for-Forgiveness Arc, then Sudden Wisdom-Beyond-One's-Years, and finally, a lackluster ending--and this is one's reward for painstaking worship in the mortal world, but for all eternity? How many lifetimes worth of promises of forever can you endure before you're driven mad by all the happiness in the world? If the only thing slower and more painful than being condemned to an eternity of dosa-induced punishment in Hell is being rewarded a pahala-blessed eternity of happiness in Heaven down a gradual descent into insanity, does that make being sent to Heaven a form of punishment of its own?

And suppose I traverse the path less trodden here in totalitarian-Islamist-Malaysia, are we to assume that we've all got one shot, and that lives we're living now are the only ones we'll get before dissipating into universal matter at best, nothing at worst, priests and rapists, CEOs and pedophiles, pastors and serial killers, believers and non-believers, men, women, children, all things in between, good, bad, black, white, grey, all alike?

(After pressing enter here, I stared blankly at this document, half-written and half-formulated and not a word proofread (as if I were planning on it!) for the longest time, my fingers hovering over the keyboard and doing that funny little ritual dance of hesitation, unsure if it would be right to break the paragraph here, seeing as my word count has been very (clearly) unevenly distributed thus far. I decided there was no right or wrong, and carried on writing, no line breaks backspaced in the process.)

What an optimistic thing to think about.

My natal birth chart tells me I'm a Pisces sun, Virgo moon, and Libra rising. At first completely foreign terminology to me, a little bit of digging had me finding out that my sun and moon signs were at complete odds with each other; polar opposites; and that I, in other words, am very much susceptible to constant internal struggle. "Blessed" with the wishy-washy, flip-floppy nature and escapist tendencies of the Pisces sun and the critically anal-retentive groundedness of the Virgo moon, the strange combination most definitely makes for a walking contradiction, i.e. me. (Fun fact: Kurt Cobain, too.)

(And, completely contrary to my fear of the divine and unknown as mentioned earlier, Pisces suns tune in to higher purposes and have dreams that transcend individuals, avoiding the harsh realities of otherwise by indulging in escapist self-delusions. I wonder if this sounds familiar?)

I still don't quite know what to make of the concept. I've heard stories of individuals feeling more in sync with the universe after getting in touch with their starry sides, but the idea of it all but makes me fear the universe all the more------but there must be a reason as to why astrology, for millennia upon millennia, in every culture, every great era, every ancient civilisation worth its salt, spanning continental boundaries, has been so closely intertwined with human lives; why the history of the celestial calendar dates so far back yonder; why it had always borne such significance to generations of nobles, to highly-revered priests, to merchants at sea, to humble farmers, to lost travelers, and to ordinary peasants alike; why the stars have always been our milemarkers and the constellations our compass and the sky our map to the entirety of our tiny, observable worlds; and who was it who first looked up and sensed the presence of something greater than them, whispering answers from the sky above? What did our ancestors, spread out across each far corner of the earth in a time of isolation and the unknown, know that we didn't?

Perhaps it's just too infinitely all-knowing a concept for me to be able to properly wrap my head around. In short: the universe is a great, big, incomprehensibly mysterious thing, and it fucking terrifies me. As I write this, sitting in the quiet of a 3AM night and in the darkness of my room, illuminated only by my night mode-tinted laptop screen and by the lights of neighbouring windows outside, I wonder: do I enjoy the possibility of being at its (the universe's) merciless whims after death, as with everyone and everything else I had ever come to know of in existence during this lifetime, as opposed to a fairytale God and Devil and Heaven and Hell? Possibly.

All irony aside, I do feel optimistic about one thing. An enthusiastic "update that damn blog" has been on my to-do-list for the longest time, and finally no longer in vain. I've been simultaneously feeling a lot of things as well as none at all--both at once, curious as it is--which is what I blame for my frustratingly stubborn inability to put thoughts to words to document this past year, as well as my horribly demotivated self. Dramatic as it seems, the year-long dry spell (I mean, a year? Togashi Yoshihiro, anyone?) had me thinking I'd never be able to write again. But here I am now, writing about it. Writing and translating my thoughts into real, letter-by-letter words. I feel strangely light. Perhaps all I needed was a little faith.

[factswithpats]

9/17/19

Today was a day of foreign culture learning. I didnt learn anything new about Japan through classes, but I did learn some Malay today during the 15 minutes that our prof had to be gone (and then during class aswell, oops). My group partners were Aiman and Siti so I had them teach me some Malay once we had discussed the discussion questions. Some fun words: Buahhati. Kuda.(Sweetheart. Horse) The standout phrases I learned are: Mana bini aku? Wehhhhhh tengok laki comel tu! (Where is my wife? Heyyyy, look at that cute boy!)

The other cultural aspect of the day was learning more about being Muslim (courtesy of Aiman, Oğuzhan, and Siti). We covered Halal vs. Haram a little more in detail compared to when I went shopping this weekend with the boys, some practices, and got to see a Turkish Qur'an. All in all, super fun. I absolutely love getting to talk about such big cultural differences to my super close friends. It gets tough sometimes, though, when you realize just how ignorant you are. Like, if any 20 year old girl is going to know a bunch of random information like that, it might as well be me, but I don't. I feel almost ¿ashamed? that my culture hasn't pushed me to learn about the other huge cultures out there. Like Islam is a huge religion but I know next to nothing about it while everyone seems to know everything about America and it's culture.

Oh well, thats a little too much deep thinking for one night. Less deep but more delicious: Joe made curry tonight and it was incredible. Not as good as when we made it in the states, but it'll get there.