#there are exceptions ofc but it happens often enough that it’s funny

[unabashedllamamusic]

Agents of Shield women love calling their boyfriends by their last names. There were like two seasons where I totally forgot Fitz’s first name and I think that’s fantastic

[ryomens-vixen]

VIIIIXXX I have a request if I may?

I wanna know what Yandere head cannons you have for Suguru. Because I know you have them, and I'm /dying/ to hear them

😌🤍Ofc I have some Yandere head canons of my boyfriend Suguru! And yes you can send a request anytime pookie!

YANDERE!Suguru Headcanons

Summary: Your friends dared you to do this trendy break up prank on your boyfriend...but he's not taking the joke to well.

Yandere!Suguru x (f)YN

CW: Yandere tendencies, Stalking, Kidnapping, NSFW, gaslighting, blood kink if you squint, knife play if you squint, breeding kink.

Word count: ion fuckin know 🤷🏾‍♀️ Reblog & ❤ good luck!

Yandere!Suguru whom you happened to break up with as a joke, except he did not take the joke very lightly at all. You see your boyfriend was absolutely infatuated with you, obsessed even. So this "joke" was not funny to him at all- You have no clue as to how far he would actually go to make sure you're his even though his calm and level headed demeanor says otherwise.

Yandere!Suguru who after that joke would follow you to and from work making sure you hadn't been talking to someone who wasn't him.

Yandere!Suguru who would check your phone while you were in the shower when you'd come over his place to spend the night.

Yandere!Suguru who would "jokingly" tell you to go talk to your other hoes, but whenever you joked back with a nonchalant "Okay, I will" it made his chest tighten and burn with anger. Did you actually have another behind his back? We're you going to go see him after you left? All while faking a small chuckle, you really don't know what you've done, have you?

Yandere!Suguru who would go weeks without talking to you after that night, you never questioned it. Maybe he was busy with work or caught up with Suguru. No- no he wasn't. He was a lot closer than you thought.

Yandere!Suguru who turned off his location so you wouldn't know that the whole time he wasn't speaking to you, he was actually stalking you throughout the day and night. Did you forget already that you gave him a key to your apartment?

Yandere!Suguru who memorized the times where you would eat and take a shower so that he can sneak in each night and hide underneath your bed.

Yandere!Suguru who would listen to you giggle to your girlfriends about this new guy that's become your regular at the café you worked at each morning. Was this the guy you were seeing behind his back? No, he has to REMIND you that you belong to him only and he'd do that tonight.

Yandere!Suguru would wait until you were good and asleep to duct tape your mouth and hog tie you tight enough to get you in his car, all the fighting you did with him really tired you out. Might as well sees what your DARLING boyfriend has in store for you. At least getting kidnapped by some hot guy with dark circles was definitely on the bucket list.

Yandere!Suguru who would later violently toss you onto his couch rather than taking you to his bed, no no that was too good for you.

"You know this IS your fault? Thinking you could EVER find someone better than me- Are you stupid? Answer me, Y/N!"

How on earth could you possibly answer his question...with tape over your month?! But it was so hot seeing him pace around like some crazed lunatic- which is exactly what he was.

"You think you're too good to answer me, huh? It's okay, because I'll show you would actually owes you- NOBODY. And I mean NOBODY. will ever, ever love you as much as I do, Nobody will ever know your body like I know it~"

Man you hadn't a clue what he was going in about, but you knew one thing. That aching in your core was really nagging you with how much Suguru was turning you on. Maybe you should make him act like this more often, Nah because then he'll know you're doing it on purpose.

Yandere!Suguru who would come back with the sharpest knife he could find just to throw himself on top of you. Taking each piece of fabric that covered your delicious body and cutting it, no matter how sloppy the cuts he didn't want to take his time with you at all. You were his and he was determined to remind you of that, he was determined to bury his cock deep into the depths of your insides no matter what.

Yandere!Suguru who accidentally cut your inner tight while trying to get your pajama pants off. All he could hear was the squeal you made followed by a pained whine.

"Oh... I'm so sorry, mamas. Maybe if you didn't drive me crazy like this I wouldn't have cut you, but that's your fault too now isn't it?"

Of course it's not entirely you fault I mean how were you suppose to know that a harmless little prank would cause him so much distress? Goddamn it was hot, but you also didn't enjoy the pain that came with it- what is he doing? Is he liking the blood? What other crazy shit is this man into, you wondered?

"Mmmf, Mamas... You know you taste so good- I bet he's never tasted you before like I have. It almost tastes as good as that pussy of yours, look at it so soaking wet for daddy... Yeah she knows who she belongs too."

Is he- talking to your pussy?! Oh yeah you thought Suguru was crazy before, well he's definitely insane and man was it a little concerning.

Yandere!Suguru who would rub the bright pink tip of his cock onto the would that was left on your inner. The way his breath would hitch at the sight of some of your blood getting in his cock turned him as stiff as a brick he just had to be inside you.

Yandere!Suguru who would run his cock up and down through the folds of your pussy getting all your juices on it.

"I'm going to make you mine all over again, look at pretty pussy, just calling my fuckin name. Shhh.. Shhh. Shhh... Daddy's gonna make that pussy real full in. A. Minute-"

Yandere!Suguru who enunciated his last few words with a sudden thrust. Slamming his cock straight into your cervix- it was so sudden you barely had time to even adjust to his size before your eyes started to roll back.

Yandere!Suguru who threw your legs over his shoulders, ripped the tape off of your mouth, just so he could press his full weight onto you as he leaned down to sloppily kiss you.

"Say it's mines, mamas. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon say who this good pussy belongs too. This pretty pussy that I'm going to impregnate.. You'd like that wouldn't you? Me getting you pregnant, you having MY baby- just say it pretty girl, say it, say it, say it-!"

"I-its yours, AaAah- S- Su- Fuck-"

"Atta girl.. That's right, my fuckin pussy, nobody elses~"

Yandere!Suguru who made you call off of work so that he could properly breed you for the rest of the day so he can make sure you're well fertilized with his seed.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary494

2/2-3/25

sunday - monday

feeling happy...

i think recording went well with my friend. we made like a nearly 2 minute song which isn't long or anything but it's strange and feels really funny and kind of good. it definitely feels good to play music with other people, i want to do it more, so i'll see if he'll want to do it more. i also want him to send over the song so i can maybe write ideas down for it or practice the parts i came up with so i can play them better. one riff i really liked!! it sort of had a jerome's dream feel except it was on top of this drum machine i'd done to be doing a kind of dance-y thing. it was also a funny time, funny music. i'm so basically bad at music when it comes to things i need to move my fingers for but i impressed myself a couple times, it felt like i could feel what we were doing well enough. he was playing a midi sax thing, which was super funny on its own but worked in the context of the song. i think if i do go again i kind of want to try and set up a different drum machine/ drum sound and make a preset so we can have something that sounds more real. that would be for the best. although who knows if that'll happen. i would really like to though. i know i keep saying that. i guess it's just kind of new to me. i've never been good at, or really even done it, but the whole playing music with people in a room thing has always eluded me and i never was good enough to be like, someone you want to pick. i like writing stuff on guitar and figuring it out on synths or just using the synths to do the things i want to do in a guitar-ish direction, and i never wanna stop with that. idk, even if doing like a little ep with him doesn't pan out or whatever it does prove to me, the thing we did today, that i definitely have the ability to do things on guitar, and improvise on guitar, in a way that feels in line with what i really like to hear, that kind of freaky sound. i at least feel like i can make interface guitar music work... that makes me really happy!!! i just feel fulfilled from it, thinking on it. i keep talking about myself but i have no idea how much he feels about it, if it was any fun or anything, for him. i think it was, he was smiling a lot. he was looking at me play guitar a lot and seemed shocked or something but i really have no idea if that was like, wow they're so awful, or, this is cool, or something. or was he just spacing out?? i just really would like to not embarrass myself. i'm going to hear it, i'm sure i'll hate it... maybe not. idk. i shouldn't make any assumptions... i just worry my happiness is from an overly optimistic place and i'm like kind of stupid it or something.

here is what i looked like... i think i must have looked really funny playing bass:

i also did some music stuff today, for personal stuff. i'm gonna wait until tomorrow to relisten, however i feel very happy about that stuff too! good mood today... wow... it's crazy how reflecting on my day is making apparent that it has been pretty good. being out with friends is always good, typically at least, his gf was telling me about her brother, his exit from bootcamp, this is a weird tangent to go on, just a lot about how insane the military is, how they want you to exit yourself almost, a kind of twisted self-discarding idea, i dunno, very bad ofc, the exploitation of young people who are basically told so often they have 'no direction' and thus they appear without direction. when you're unwell and are gonna be discharged for being unwell, they put you in an institution basically, my gf's brother also went through that, friend's gf's brother caught a black mold infection while in what is apparently called the 'med-hole'. which is insane, to catch a fungal infection inside of the medical hole. maybe a 'medical hole' could only give diseases... it does fit.

the playing today also really makes me want to play more and more and more at home, which is a good knock-on effect... let's see... what else is on my mind...

something stupid!!! (i'm so dumb i feel so dumb when i feel anything positive (just like that nirvana song)), i watched this 4 hour interview over 2 days with this woman who was involved with this whole rationalist philosophy (she seems right to say it is not a cult though it has some negative lines of thought that it seems to proliferate) and this has me thinking about not just that but the general way the rationalist types make me feel. which is always that there is something really fucked up about it all, and their way of supposing ai and related technologies work, and beyond that, the whole culture of it, i'd never looked at lesswrong until today, and this is a shallow thing although i do think the aesthetics of it matter and articulate a lot of the underlying assumptions of the site and presents it in a particular way, but god it's hideous, it's a kind of hysteric cleanliness it's so cruel feeling. that's an underlying thing here, this ziz person, she comes off as oddly cruel re: some of her concepts, and it essentially reminds me of catholic forgiveness (this might take some explaining) and giving into ocd tail-chasing (maybe more evident). re: the catholicism, there's some kind of notion of a 'core' you have (i guess 2 because of brain hemispheres (which gets into that really spot and nonsensical (basically) left brain right brain stuff), and then this core, which is 'out of time' and so i think essentially a soul, a two soul situation, where you might have one that is essentially good, and one that might be bad, and you have to manage the bad one, speaking roughly. where this gets freaky, well it already is freaky, is this thing octavia says in the interview, where it's like, if you imagine you have a bad core, you're a bad person, and you prove that wrong, what that really means is, out of time, in true truth, you have been good this whole time. this seems precisely like the underside of ocd reasoning but, beyond that, because it is ziz who lays all this out, it would then seem extremely important, for one's own salvation or knowledge of oneself as a good person, as an actually 'effective' altruist and whatever (such an odd and scary way to see things, as effective, utile, everything ever in-use), you have to read her closely, and if you correspond with her, and if you know her friends who engage in all this and do all these things to try and help each other know what is going on inside their heads, then her word and the word of that social body becomes extremely powerful in knowing your worth, as this is an ideology/philosophy extremely preoccupied with measurement and... what was it she kept saying, decision something... decision theory? it's always decision theory this and that, and that it's a mathematical thing, octavia said repeatedly 'she's done the math... she's done the math', it recalls a kind of catholic forgiveness, baptism for original sin, not necessarily saying ziz was supposed to be a christ figure of any sort i don't believe she wanted to be seen that way, just that there is this element of a way to prove that what might have been flawed is actually capable of some 'purity' and righteousness, an elemental right, a truth at the bottom of yourself that possesses and articulates itself through you, the good, a total good. this notion of a total good being possible is perhaps something that will trigger a lot of people with negative thinking about themselves, and a deep-seated terror that they could be evil. ziz seemed to enjoy the fear people had of being evil deep inside, saying, according to octavia, if you have problems, that problem is that you are evil, someone who killed herself was not good because she killed herself. this is a cruel line of thinking, certainly if i were learning about this all a few weeks ago i might have let myself read her website closely and given myself new complexes or something.

and maybe the only way to deal with such things would be to involve myself with people down a similar path of thought, where panic sits at the edges, pushing you deeper because of your terror at not being good, or whatever.

'she did the math' and math in philosophy always unsettled me as a way of making decisions, as well as a way of appraising anything that isn't like... a shipment manifest. but we ought to question the existence of the shipping manifest as well, its tight grid and numbers and the timetable which brought it forth... which really brings me to a really difficulty for me, with all this stuff... i am too french... that's a silly way to put it but the 'rationalism' and the 'effectiveness' and the math and so on all alerts a kind of anti-enlightenment thinking i've absorbed from people like foucault and those i've read who followed and those i've read who preceded, but it's immediately untrustable and frankly appears to me as a kind of eugenic mode of thought, where 'wrong' things are snuffed out. there is an ideal form of life, in the construction, essentially, at its root, or an ideal life for all multiple forms, a truth to existence, this means that whatever radiates out, there has to be some kind of limit, it's maybe the most radical and cruel notion of norm possible, but i suppose i might be wrong here. maybe these people are familiar with what i like and are better readers than i? i'm not sure. i am stupid. definitely an idiot. a few centuries before now had i been born i would have been set upon the scaffold, i am sure, for stealing bread in broad daylight on an impulse, because it seemed funny.

and all the ai stuff... it's just so hard to believe it. i keep seeing stuff now about agi, alignment, it's kicking back up, the altman propaganda is kicking into high gear because of fears of china, this is all trade, this is all spectacle, and a spectacular technology, these neural networks, they constrain us, it feels truly impossible for me to not see the 'knowledge' fed into them as already tainted by a weighting which leans a particular direction, the panopticon only grows more virile, the methods not just of observation but discipline, now such a subtle technology, we learn so much by repetition, so much of what we see is online, so much of what is repeated then, will come ever more from the online populated by bots, unchecked spumes of words taking shape of information appear here and there, the same method of speaking, same words, a severe catalog appears of a shored up language, division between what words go where during which social occasion becomes more delineated. i don't know. i don't feel positive about it, it feels custodial for desire the same way all adverts have been custodial for desire, a reduction of things to manageable images of sex etc. so this is reproduced at lower resolution and then carried forth. it feels grim.

on top of all this as i articulated at the beginning the last paragraph, this feels less like... i don't know, am i just biased here, am i out of date with the world? i read an essay about that, that this technology is actually moving so fast we can't fit it into our worldviews. i think i maybe have but i don't like it. i never thought i'd understand the luddites, but i think i do. i never understood it was a worker movement, for one, and that one thing they resisted was the reproduction of life in terms of the factory, in terms of a schedule which robbed them of all kinds of portions of life. that aside, it feels like what we're experiencing is fear as a method of driving advertising and funds. which is in many ways i think something you could see in the cold war of the past. just how much money did our nuclear program eat up... well, that's a silly example, though maybe it proves me wrong a bit. it did eat up a lot of our money, but it did churn out the internet. so i suppose now, we're creating objects we might think of as information warheads, and rather than being any deep intelligence that will destroy us, they can be deployed remotely, a controlled detonation of the internet as a resource and psychological region. since it might only kill a very invisible bunch of people, i guess there's no reason to not use these. they mostly want the invisible people dead. although i also find this not so compelling. the custodial function is here now, probably here to stay, rather than a total rot-ifying of the internet we'll only be beaten over the head with a way to be. less 'us', younger people. i don't know. maybe i want to just lay down and die. i know today was good, so really i don't wanna die at all. but i feel so stupid and useless, about this stuff. how does it appear to anyone that the threat is the terminator when now what we see is probably the forever we're about to be shoved into. i hate 'enshittification' as a word, it's not making things 'shit' it's making them bright and in line with a right and outlining the human as has always been desired. these are not machines which will wake up with post-human desire, this is the history of human desire as long as it has been theorized, the advent of psychology birthing advertising, now we are here, the assumption in all those technologies of 'the human'. i mean, what are we to do with the fact that the 'groundbreaking' research that lead to this all being possible, the man said he was trying to figure out how our minds worked, our brains i guess, and then stumbled upon something 'better,' what does better mean, what measures better, and then:

what's with all this measurement anyhow, wherefore did the measuring come from and why is it such a compulsion. of course the answer is in the back of our throats, the real nightmare of all of this:

a eugenic compulsion!!

and so people sit terrified by roko's basilisk or whatever, oh what if the machine god tortures me because i didn't aid the creation of the maximal good as the good outlined by cruel minds (while repeating the cruel good of those cruel minds in different measures). i remain curious about what other advancements re: computation are coming.

still, as of now the ziz stuff is mostly tragic and the people killed by them, and the people who ended up killed by them aren't really people anyone will really lament too much, extremely abusive parents, a landlord.

here is that video... it's basically silly but i'm now curious about all these people. it's interesting, always interested in groups of people online:

the guy doing the interview is strange but i can't get much of a read on him. he brings up jordan peterson but the impression of him is so friendly and well meaning and dorky (non-mean way... i really don't wanna be mean), in that it seems like if he does 'like' him (which is unclear it's just an example he brings up), it's in that weird way where it's like, a guy who likes to clean his room. maybe i'm making too many excuses and stuff. all this ziz stuff is really intense. there's an anonymous tumblr blog about all this too, from years ago. depressing because they seem to have been friends with the people who died, the people who followed this whole ideology.

i'm watching this 2nd one now... this woman named autumn is talking about functional decision theory which is interesting but also insane, talking now about how you can view the person you decide to be as an algorithm in a sense, as in, an algorithm you run to make decisions, rather than decision to decision, fdt would instead gesture at an overall decisionmaking algorithm which always elects best and you become a better decisionmaker in algorithmic, mathematical terms, your outcomes are superior. this to me, sounds more than anything else, like a discipline!!! carceral reality haunts and perturbs... she seems not so interested in saying it's right, she says it'd be silly to live this way, solely upon these ethical theories.

this is just all too much. unpleasant that something that is basically this complex is going to become a way to scapegoat trans people. exciting times i guess,

i will sleep now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alicentive]

I am very blessed to have good friends who'll let me deal with my writer's block by offering me take-it-or-leave-it prompts. 😊 As such, this little fic was born a little while after @mercurygray prompted me "precious treasure - dreams - illusion". (And I have used all three in this one, if you count one of the meanings of my OC's name..)

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen/OFC Rating: Explicit Warnings: sexual content, prostitution, Aegon cheating on Helaena Word count: around 1k

He has left Helaena to her ravings again.

It was the fifth dawn like this in too short a time. Waking and hearing his wife is unwell. Rising to find his children ensconced in his mother’s bedchamber. Walking through the halls of the Keep and feeling the sting of everyone's glances – unwell, they say, or mad perhaps – as if he can help what has been happening to her since they were both children. Seeing his wife in her sitting room, pacing the length of it in that funny way she has where she refuses to step on the cracks between one stone and the next.

Feeling like he’s going to go mad with it, too, except he always listens to his stone-faced mother and his half-dreaming wife until his feelings hardly seem to matter much at all.

There is a craving, Aegon, his wife had said, violet eyes both seeing and not seeing him all at once, one with claws that go shhrrrkk and eyes of amber amber amber there goes the cup again. Her hands had almost clawed at his tunic before he could good and well scramble backward. It sings with many faces and offers many names. Oh yes, oh yes, when the cup spins, you must listen, rim bim bim goes the bell that tolls farewell.

He’s done listening now.

The only cup that spins is the one he is currently holding carelessly in one hand. There’s an amber swirl in the depths of it, if he looks closely enough. Aegon snorts to himself just a little. Tips the remainder of the liquid into his mouth – the sharp sting on his tongue, the burn already washing down his throat, and a warm belly’s worth of lightheadedness – and sets the cup down beside him. Pours himself another amber-filled cup moments after. Raises it in a firm toast before knocking half of it back in one fell swoop.

“A celebration, my Prince?”

Aegon blinks at the question posited by a soft, slightly accented voice. “A toast,” he says, savouring the aftertaste. “To my darling wife”– he is not lying, not truly, because darling is what Aemond still calls their sister whenever she’s raving about her dreams –“and to you, my latest cockwarmer.”

The woman’s mouth curls up almost mirthlessly. “Quite the toast,” she says, brazen as dragonfire, eyes hooded and dark in this candlelight. She’s a new one, or so he has been told. All dark hair and soft curve, skin like molten gold, costing a rather royal sum. Fresh off some boat from, what was it, Qarth? Whatever it is, she’s clearly not new at this altogether if the look in her eyes is anything to go by. “Would my Prince wish me to start as a cockwarmer, or does he have something else in mind?”

“It is Aegon,” he says, beckoning her closer. “Just Aegon. Not Prince, not future King, and least of all the Second of my Name.” By the Seven, even speaking a part of his future title sounds like a formality he could good and well do without. “What do they call you, hm?”

“Alanna,” she says, so smoothly that he almost believes she was born with the name.

“Alanna.” He repeats her name. Savors it on his tongue a moment as his gaze lands on her single exposed breast, which rests heavy and honey-toned against her almost sheer gown. He beckons her closer still, drinking in the clear strain of her still-covered nipple against the fabric, feeling himself go half hard at the sight of a curly patch of hair between her thighs that her gown can’t hide. “Is this the Quartheen fashion, then? Dressing like the whore you are?”

“You like it, do not lie,” she laughs, throaty and warm, not offended in the way the women of court so often are, as she sinks down on the seat beside him. “I see you looking”– and, oh, it is not fair how her fingers pinch at her nipples until he wants to do naught more than take them into his mouth and suckle on them –“and you’re so hungry for my cunt, aren’t you?”

He catches himself nodding along with her words. Catches himself leaning into her touch, warm against his brow, as though he is starved for the heat she radiates. And perhaps he is just that, starved and ravenous, latching on to the soft skin of her neck with his mouth and a hint of teeth, hands squeezing the curve of her hip and exposed breast until he can hear the hitch of her breath against his ear. Mouth journeying down until his teeth close around that already-bared nipple and her hand is loosening his breeches. Tongue lapping at her skin while she spits into her palm and slips a rather practiced fist around his cock that leaves him twitching against her fingers all too soon.

Alanna, Alanna, he offers to the dirtied ceiling that has seen far better days than this one. There are tears in his eyes that he can’t blink away. He spies a flash of dark amber in her eyes when his fingers wander beneath her gown until they go damp with her heat and her breath becomes a keening sound that shoots straight to his cock. He would almost think her a mirage, some illusion from his sister’s visions that left her raving this morning, except that her wet heat clamps down around his fingers when he can’t help but want more of her. Except that she keens his name in his ear in what almost sounds like a plea – and oh, she really is worth every scrap of coin when he slips his fingers from her heat only to have her sink down on his cock instantly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she sighs against his mouth, his wet cheek, his ear. She doesn’t comment on his tears. Merely lets her cunt clench around his cock, her own fingers guiding his to the little nub between her thighs that makes her drip around him even more, until he is almost shaking beneath her. Her smile could almost be called satisfied. “It’s okay to want, Aegon.”

For a moment, he almost dares believe that maybe this hunger is all he is.

[neon-u-dumb-shxtty-child]

Hiii bestie I'm here to share my ideas for a Phineas and Ferb au :] (tried not to make this too long ee)

Wally: Phineas, Barnaby: Ferb, Julie: Isabella, Frank: Baljeet, Eddie: Buford, Poppy: Perry, Sally: Candace, Home: Linda/Lawrence, Howdy: Doof

Ages: Wally, Julie, Eddie: 10. Barnaby, Frank: 11. Sally: 16, Poppy: 17, Howdy: 29, Home: 42

Wally has lots of ideas and is less talkative than Barnaby but he does talk. he and Barnaby are inseparable.

Barnaby (contrary to Ferb) talks a lot. He's the one explaining what they're doing and is there to help Wally make his idea a reality

Julie is the energetic girl next door! she can either have no crush, a crush on Wally, or a crush on Barn. idk man

Frank is a nerd but isn't afraid to get dirty. catch this kid digging in the dirt and climbing trees for science! loves bugs still ofc. in denial about a possible crush on Eddie.

Eddie isn't a bully, but does have personal space issues. he'll pick up his friends, etc without asking. this especially annoys Frank bc he's usually the victim of this. by hypothetical mid season 2 Eddie gets some character development and learns to respect personal space more. he has a crush on frank

Home is Wally and Barnaby's guardian. He adopted them separately. doesn't believe Sally and thinks she's exaggerating their shenanigans for Dramatic Effect.

Sally is their next door neighbor and Poppy's best friend. she's at Wally's house so often bc she's nosy and is determined to prove to Home that these kids are building rollercoasters in the backyard.

Poppy "doesn't do much" but is secretly a young secret agent and the most anxious one. she's good at her job tho! she's the other nextdoor neighbor and Sally's best friend.

Howdy is,, an evil inventor/capitalist? he's got Big Ideas and Inventions but they always end up evil. he doesn't get along with his family except for his nephews. He and Poppy are nemeses

PHINEAS AND FERB AU?? THIS ATE SO HARD I LOVE THIS

Wally and Barnaby having the Phineas and Ferb dynamic but switching the talking roles is so cool. Wally has too many ideas and Barn is happy to help!

Julie being their friend and not having a crush is honestly how I can see it, maybe she feels a little left out in the neighborhood and that’s why she’s constantly hanging around them? Gives her more motivation to stick around besides Isabella’s crush in canon

Frank and Eddie having crushes on each other but being in denial is adorable. Eddie likes Frank and is super physical about it, which annoys Frank but probably also makes him happy knowing Eddie’s comfortable enough to be doing that- they’re in love your honor

Home being Wally and Barnaby’s guardian makes me so happy idk why. Him just being a parent who goes along with his kids’s wacky ideas and ignores the neighbor girl constantly telling him about the inventions they make every day is great. I can totally see him knowing about it and keeping it secret so his kids can enjoy themselves

Sally seriously wanting people to know about the kids and their inventions makes me laugh so hard. She’s trying so hard and no one believes her besides Poppy

Poppy tries her best even if she’s nervous. I think if she’s taking Perry’s role, she can sometimes be Wally and Barnaby’s babysitters just for the “hey, where’s Poppy?” bit

Howdy as an evil scientist my beloved, I’d marry him <3

Howdy and Poppy beefing is so funny to me because I can totally see Poppy being terrified every time it happens but still defeating Howdy through either his own incompetence or some crazy circumstances

Blud is 29 beefing with a 17 year old lmao

Howdy, successfully putting Poppy in a trap: hahah u die now

Poppy: no I have an English test tomorrow I need to study-

Howdy: oh shit my bad

I adore this, it’s actually super cute. Just a nice wholesome au of everyone being silly and having summer fun! What’s not to love!

[gelus-ugs]

Poly! Renga x Black! Reader

—————————————————————

Just fluff headcannons <3

—————————————————————

They LOVE you

As in- they’re entranced by you

They love your skin, your hair, etc

The moment they laid eyes on you as you stood in the front of the classroom, they were immediately whipped

Like- couldn’t keep their eyes off of you, whipped

You sat on the opposite side of the roof during lunch and ate by yourself while listening to music, and Reki and Langa would just stare at you

After a week of them practically eye-stalking you, Reki finally had the balls to talk to you

He came up to you during lunch and started small talk before inviting you over to sit with him and Langa

You got along with them pretty well

Actually..a bit too well

Before you know it, y’all are all dating :))

Reki is fawning over you 24/7

He’s probably never seen a back person irl if I’m being honest🧍🏽

Langa has probably seen a few black people in Canada

PLEASE let them play with your hair

No matter if you have dreads, box braids, an afro, etc, they’ll want to touch your hair

If you want to ofc! I know how annoying it is when ppl do it all the time- ESPECIALLY without permission- like get yo hands offa my hair

They’ve probably never had soul food before-

You have some leftovers from a cookout those 10 plates with food wrapped up that you bring home with you- yeah, those that you bring for lunch one time, and you let them try some

Oh my god, they’re in heaven

They ain’t never have something like that before, and they would LOVE to eat it everyday

PLEASE invite them to cookouts, they’ll want to go oh my god I should write headcannons if they ever went to a cookout-

They LOVE seeing the new hairstyles you have

They find it so amazing- like one day you could have a huge, fluffy afro then the next you have braids

They think it’s so cool

You’ll definitely have to explain to them what weave is though-

“Your hair wasn’t that long- how are the braids able to go past your shoulders??”

“How’d your hair grow 5 inches so quickly??”

“…Weave, y’all. Weave”

Sometimes you let your black mom slip cuz come on- it happens to all of us and they find it hilarious

Like one day Reki asked you to help him put his hair in a ponytail cuz it was hot as hell

Except he wouldn’t quit moving

You lightly smacked his head and turned on black momma mode

“Reki quit movin yo head or else I’m gonna pull on your hair”

Or one day Reki turned to Langa and was like-

“Do you think I have enough time to take a piss without washing my hands?”

You had never turned towards him so fast-

“Lil boy you better wash yo hands. That’s nasty as hell”

They find it so funny how your whole accent and demeanor changes 😭

Please take them to meet your parents- they’ll think they want to, but they instantly regret it and it’s so funny

“Who these lil white boys in my house?”

“Momma, they’re my boyfriends I tell you about, Reki and Langa. Also, they’re not white”

They think your dad is intimidating- cuz all he does is stare at them

Reki and Langa are t e r r i f i e d

Your parents end up liking them and want them over more often in the end though 👍🏽

“Where them lil yellow boys at? Yo boyfriends, I like them”

“MOMMA YOU CAN’T SAY THAT! THATS RACIST-”

Don’t you just love your black family 🫶🏽

If any of y’all end up spending the night at one’s house, Reki and Langa always make sure you remember to wear your bonnet (if you wear one)

Reki and Langa love to pick out your fro (if you have one)

At first they were scared of hurting you so they did it very lightly, which wouldn’t work and they were scared they tangled your hair 😭

They eventually got the hang of it :))

Pls let them help you wash your hair. They L O V E it

Touching your hair, massaging your scalp, etc

They almost enjoy it more than you do-

Basically, they absolutely adore you and your culture :))

[celeste-clearwater-06]

Hi! Could I please request headcanons with the Durins, Bofur, Dwalin, Legolas, Elrond and anyone you'd like to add (or take out, sorry if that's too many characters) with a reader that tics? Like sometimes, random sounds slip out of them and they repeat them periodically for like a minute or so? Or sometimes hand movements or little gestures? I feel kinda embarassed of mine, so it would really help me. Thank you (also I read the nail polish headcanons and I loved them, you're amazing!)!

Absolutely!! And don't ever feel embarrassed! You are amazing, beautiful and perfect just the way you are!! Hope this meets up to your expectations! I'm not very familiar with tics and such, (I did a bit of research) so let me know how I did with the writing!

Tics (Thorin's Company x reader)

Thorin

At first, our king under the mountain doesn't know what to think

Surely he didn't hear you squeak...

To be honest, he thought you were doing it to annoy him, since your first interaction, you might have gotten off on the wrong foot 😅

And it wasn't the easiest to explain to Thorin, knowing he can be a tad thick-headed sometimes

It took a while to help him comprehend and had never seen it in your light

He understands now though, and has the most patience you have ever seen

He's never been more understanding to one person, even with his stubborn and sometimes grumpy demeanor

Thorin knows you can't help it, which is why he's instantly overprotective of you

If anyone dares make one comment, he's on their case like CRAZY

"Y/N can not help it, gilthock!"

"If you improperly console with her/him/them again, you'll face the wrath of my kin."

When the company was being chased down by Beorn, your tics were triggered and the great skin-changer could hear you from inside, clawing at the door with fury

You felt terrible, not able to contain the short exclamations and noises slipping from your mouth

But Thorin sent an icy glare to anyone who tried to hush you or tell you to keep it down

He's constantly reminding you that it's not your fault, and has become like a fatherly figure to you... Or perhaps, something more 😉

Fili and Kili

Unsurprisingly, both are also very confused little princes

Fili seems to have a bit more understanding of the seriousness of the situation, or at least maturity

(He is next in line to be king after all)

It took a while for them to adjust, since they'd never met anyone with tics before

One night, as you all sat down by the fire, the company grew a bit rowdy, which became stressful for our poor Y/N

Your tics were triggered easily by then with short yelps, and lines of curses that even made bofur blush

Ofc, you couldn't control it, but since the company had little idea of what was going on

the two brothers were quick to rush to your aid, rubbing a hand on your back as you let out a frustrated groan

"What's wrong with her, Oin?"

"I'm not sure. Is it a curse?"

"Probably dark magic!" Dori gasped

You just shook your head and managed to explain your predicament through tics that annoyed the absolute shit out of you

and embarrassed you as well >:(

After that, the princes were stuck to you like flies to honey

They would always ride their ponies by yours, offer to carry your bags, spend all day cheering you up

And more often than not, you would become less stressed and the thought of your tics would float away in the wind 😌✨

Hell, they even stood up to their own uncle after he continued to press some stressful questions about your unfortunate condition

Even if Fili and Kili are both very aware of the randomness of your outbursts, they still treat you as a normal part of the company

They'd hate for you to feel "out-of-place" as Kili put it, in their traveling party

You are so important to them both, and they'd never let you get hurt

Bofur

Meet Mr. Comedic relief

Whenever Bofur had first met you, he giggled at your little tics

Of course, he'd never meant to make you feel bad, he just thought they were absolutely adorable

Sometimes he playfully teased you about it, and that certainly didn't make you feel better

One night, he had gotten the others in the company to join him in his seemingly harmless jesting,

You just forced out laughter, hoping to convince them that you too, thought it hilarious

But after everyone had fallen asleep by the dying fire, your quiet sobs and tics were what stirred bofur

He came over and asked what was wrong, apparent worry shining in his deep brown eyes

So, reluctantly, you explained why you had little outbursts

Bofur felt awful

"Oh...oh. Oh I'm so sorry lass/laddie/leddie! I never meant any harm!"

He wrapped his huge arms around you in a big bear hug

Bofur never wanted to make anyone feel bad about themselves, especially you (his favorite member of the company 🥺)

"It's okay Bo. It's not your fault that they happen."

It takes a while for you to convince him he's not at fault, and once you do, he's never reluctant to approach you and spark up a silly conversation 😊

He has THE BEST stories

Is very good at keeping your thoughts away from your tics and cheering you up during stressful or upsetting situations

You call him "Bofur-Bear" 🥺

And he adores you so much

He doesn't really know how to react when you have ongoing outbursts, that go on for a minute or two

So he makes really corny jokes and stupidly hilarious innuendos that extract giggles from you while your having an episode

He will never let you go 🥴👉👈

Dwalin

(This Gif is so GOD DAMN FUNNY 💀)

Dwalin is, in some ways, like Thorin

Except 10x more grumpy 🙄

That's okay though, because we still love him 🥰

SUPER confused

At first, he was kinda rude :/

Said it was "disturbing to his duties"

tHAT HURT-

But one night, in the quiet of Rivendell, after everyone else had fallen asleep, you walked around the kingdom to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the elvish land

Dwalin had followed you, and when he called your name, you jumped in surprise, and it sparked a string of swearing

His eyes widened in shock in first, and then some incredible happened

He smiled :)

Just a tiny little grin, that was hardly noticeable under his thick mustache, but a smile nonetheless

"I didn't know ya' could use yer mouth like that."

You grumbled and turned back to the balcony, trying to rid yourself of his company

Regardless, he took heavy steps next to you, and slapped a thick hand against your back, as a friendly gesture

"Why are being so nice to me all of a sudden?" You asked incredulously

Dwalin sighed, but before he could answer, you yelled and slapped your hands against the marble railing

"I hadn't meant ta upset ya' that much."

You just shook your head, and proceeded to describe to him what was really going on

After that, Dwalin was silent, but gave a quick nod

He still needed time to really let the information seep through his thick head

You thought you had scared him off at first, but as your journey continued on, Dwalin actually grew closer than before

Whenever an enemy was nearby, he would look for you first, and place you behind h, out of harms way

Extra dinner? Dwalin made sure you were the first to get second portions, despite your humble protests

He gets teased by the rest of the company, and though he'll never openly admit it, he's grown very fond of you 🥴

He's not really the best at picking up on your social cues, like if he's being way overprotective

Though he tries his best, he also won't can't treat you like a regular person, more like someone who's physically injured

"Come on, Y/N let me carry ya'"

"Dwalin, seriously, I'm fine, I know how to walk-"

*picks you up anyways*

Overall, very sweet, just a bit excessive sometimes 😅❤

I just decided to stick with these few characters if you don't mind, since I have a lot of other requests to fill out, but I hope these are okay!! Thank you for your request, and I hope these were accurate enough 😅🥰

You're amazing, beautiful and never feel ashamed or embarrassed for something you can't control!! Stay strong!! ❤

[afrival]

AOT Characters When Drinking HCs

My friend and I were talking the other day and made some HCs about the AOT characters when they’re drunk— I shall share a them here 😎🤙

cw// alcohol, vomit

modern au shit so this like doesn’t apply season 4 characterization

The 104th Gang

Eren:

- Angry drunk

- To quote my friend, you would say something around him and he's just "ohmmy GODDD shutttt the fuck UP”

- It literally doesn’t matter what you say he will tell you to shut up

- Picks fights for no fucking reason, especially with Jean

- If they’re out to drink he would start a fight with a stranger

- Mikasa literally has to drag him away from fights

- Probably drinks too much and vomits for HOURS and then brags about how high his alcohol tolerance is

- Claims he doesn’t get hangovers but everybody knows he’s lying because he will absolutely just zone out of every conversation the next day

- Always looks like he is on the verge of vomiting again

Mikasa:

- Does not drink because she has to babysit Eren

- However when she does she does not drink a lot

- Probably gets like really flustered and embarrassed, maybe a little touchy b/c her head hurts or something

- Like she’ll lay her head on Sasha’s shoulder meanwhile Eren and Jean are yelling at each other in the background

- Does get a hangover but usually it’s just a headache and she’ll be EXHAUSTED

Armin:

- COMPLETE fucking lightweight oh my god

- Do not give this man alcohol he will absolutely get wrecked

- One glass of wine is probably enough to get him tipsy

- I can’t decide if he would be the kind of person that gets really emotional and cries about everything or if he would go on long drunken rants about the most random shit

- Probably both

- Like he would be crying about the fact that he learned about otters having a favorite rock or this REALLY round corgi he saw last weak and it was just too cute

- Mikasa has to babysit both Eren and Armin whenever he drinks because Eren will absolutely try and drag Armin into his fights

- And with the drunken courage he has Armin would absolutely join in by yelling or hyping Eren up

- He becomes such an enabler

- Would have a hangover if he didn’t pass the fuck out and sleep the entire next day

Connie and Sasha:

- Two for one deal, they are always hanging out whenever they drink

- They’re the most CHAOTIC fucking duo ever, like they would somehow get their hands on a bunch of firecrackers and let loose

- Sasha would probably try and talk to any animals near by

- Connie would be laughing and saying shit like “SASHA the dog can’t fuckin’ talk back 🙄”

- They spend their hangovers bitching and whining about how much it hurts

- Probably would wrap themselves up in blankets in a dark room and snacks and spend the whole day just waiting it out

Jean:

- Same thing as Eren

- Except he also gets more flirty, but it’s not good and usually he ends up embarrassing himself and scaring away the girl he was talk to

- Finds Connie and Sasha and joins them on their shenanigans if he ain’t arguing with Eren

- Probably claims he has really good ideas and then next thing you know all three of them are in a police station and it’s definitely his fault

- “What the fuck made you think taking that woman’s dog was okay”

- “It looked SAD, Connie! And Sasha helped me!”

- “NO—“

- Spends his hangover day with Sasha and Connie

Historia:

- The most giggly fucking drunk you will ever meet

- Laughs at EVERYTHING and asks really dumb questions because suddenly she just has one brain cell

- Also a lightweight just not as bad as Armin

- Ymir has to babysit her and then when Ymir is drunk is the other way around

- They take good care of each other

- Ymir thinks she’s the most adorable thing ever and probably gives into every dumbass request Historia makes

- “Ymir! Let’s go out to eat!”

- “Hist, it’s 2am.”

- “So? There’s someplace open somewhere!”

- “...Fine.”

- Also sleeps her hangover off but Ymir has some water and pain meds ready for whenever she wakes up

Ymir:

- Oh dear lord she becomes very cocky and flirty

- Hangs off Historia’s shoulders the whole time and absolutely starts a fight with whoever looks at her gf

- Eren tried to fight her once and he got his shit beat

- The next day she would be so dramatic about how much pain she’s in just to get Historia to pay attention to her

- And ofc Historia always does < 3

The Warriors:

Reiner:

- Mans becomes such a an emotional bro

- Like he will throw an arm around literally anyone and go off about how much he just thinks they’re the darndest thing

- “Bert have I ever told you how great you are?”

- “All the time. Like a lot. You’ve said it 12 times in the last 10 minutes. Are you okay?”

- Completely denies it happened the next day and pretend he doesn’t feel like shit

- Bertholdt would find him dead to the world on the couch in some weird ass position and then force him to get up and go to bed

- “Dude you smell like ass.”

- “Shut up and just get me some water please.”

Bertholdt:

- Does not drink a lot at all especially around the 104th

- He has to make sure nobody fucking dies, especially Reiner and Annie

- He would have a beer or five with Reiner every so often and then he’s like really clingy and cuddly

- He’s embarrassed about it the next day and also pretends he never got hammered

- Sometimes one of the 104th will walk into their house and Bertholdt would be squished betweeen the fridge and the counter

- He has somehow made his way into the kitchen and will just fall asleep it the weirdest fucking places

- Reiner leaves him there because he feels to bad to move him when he looks strangely comfortable all twisted

- Whenever he and Reiner drink together they will send drunk snaps to their friends

- “Bertholdt just messaged me???”

- “Is he with Reiner?”

- “Yeah I think s— oh no.”

Annie:

- Doesn’t drink a lot either but when she does she also tries to start fights with people

- It never works out and she ends up having really deep and heartfelt conversations with them

- Like I imagine her trying to fight Armin and he’s just shaking I’m his boots and then she just stops and says

- “Ya know, sometimes I get really sad...”

- And so begins the start of their friendship

- For all the AruAni shippers I feel like she would be really protective of Armin and make sure nobody starts anything with him

- Or if they’re with Eren and the gang she will throw hands with Eren if he tries to drag Armin into his disputes

- She also probably hangs around Mikasa to make sure she’s okay and to pretend to hate it whenever Mikasa lays on her shoulder or thigh because she feels sick

- Banysits Reiner and Bertholdt whenever they’re drinking together, and then bullies the fuck out of them the next day

- “You guys are dumbasses.”

- “It was REINER’S idea!”

The Veterans-

Levi:

- DOES NOT DRINK even though he absolutely would

- He like becomes such a fucking mom lowkey especially whenever the kids are getting out of hand

- He’s dealing with a bunch of toddlers plus Hange and Erwin come on

- “Don’t touch that.”

- “Put that down.”

- “Quit yelling.”

- He never offer to clean them up or get them anything because that’s disgusting, however he does make sure everybody is at okay before leaving

- Like that they’re all breathing or nobody is missing

- After that he’s out and then the next day he just stares at them like the most disappointed parent ever

- He tolerates Hange and Erwin a little more, like they both get clingy and he actually lets them just hang off of him or something even tho he hates it

- Would probably hold Hange’s hair back if she throws up, or at least make sure it’s tied up. He has to resist the urge to vomit himself because he just cannot handle it at all

- But then he would just leave her on the bathroom floor asleep

Erwin:

- Oh boy he probably gets so emotional

- The complete opposite of his usual personality it’s so fucking funny

- Will cry about anything and once again like Reiner and Hange will talk about how great you are

- Doesn’t remember SHIT the next day and literally has no clue he acts like this and refuses to believe it whenever somebody tells him

- Hange recorded it once and he just “😐 Delete that, please.”

- Hangs around Levi and is very grateful that he lets Erwin be an annoyance

Hange:

- Tells the kids to be careful with alcohol and then immediately is found face down in a bush

- She becomes like 10 times more bubbly and absolutely batshit

- Laughs really loudly at everything

- She and Armin would get into excited like half conversations about fun science facts or whatever

- Like they absolutely geek the fuck out

- She also probably goes off about how much she loves everyone

- “LEVIIIIII!!! You’re so WOMDERFUL!”

- “Thanks. Now get off of me, bitch.”

- Levi has to babysit her and Erwin LMAO he’s the designated driver every single time

- Always knows the perfect cure for a hangover so she doesn’t usually have a really bad one

This turned out A LOT longer than I thought it would be, oops! Anyway I love doing these so I’m gonna start making more. I will probably do a lot for AOT and Hetalia so 😗✌️ prepare for cringe

[gravesightings]

Sure I can!!! Sorry for not giving details, I always do this 🤦🏻‍♂️! I actually had to google the meaning because english isn't my first language and in every site meant something different (with some similarities ofc), so i don't even know if dork is the word. But it's a silly s/o, who behaves slightly awkward, laughs of dumb or stupid things and tend to make jokes that only dads do, still they like being like this and love the feeling their personality cause in others.

hey, it’s no problem! thank you for elaborating. I appreciate it! 💞

slashers with a silly/dorky s/o.

Asa Emory / The Collector

socially awkward? same hat!

seeing someone slightly a bit more socially inept than him would cause him to take charge of the situation. awkward silence who?

paranoid as usual. what if someone happens to take advantage of you? he simply cannot have that. here, keep one of his dogs with you at all times.

big fan of the dad jokes so you might actually hear him laugh! but he’ll quickly try to brush it off and act like nothing happened.

tolerant of your antics as long as you don’t hurt yourself. if you’re observant enough you might catch him trying not to smile at you.

Billy Lenz

sweet piggy, silly piggy! billyboy is also a big fan!

billy doesn’t catch certain social cues so it’s as if you’re never awkward to begin with.

while he thinks some of your jokes aren’t that funny, he’ll laugh anyways! that’s how much he loves you, see?

pretty straightforward. that includes both complimenting you and some of his other interesting comments. haha you’re weird and your jokes are for old people! he likes that!

naturally joins you when he sees you laughing at something dumb. do you like victim people-watching? snicker along with him when a victim does something embarrassing in private.

Bo Sinclair

bo definitely thinks it’s cute! you remind him of vincent in a way except you’re actually funny.

catch him full-on belly laughing at your dad jokes. turns out he has the exact same type of humor! he only stopped making jokes because his brothers think he’s not funny.

now that he has you around, you’re both busting dad jokes and un-funny puns.

a little awkward with him? that’s alright. a hard smack on the back will do the trick. bo’s quite the charmer so he’ll have you comfy with him in no time.

the type to tell you up-front that you’re a little weird but “in a good way.”

Brahms Heelshire

this recluse wouldn’t have a damn clue if you happen to be slightly weird. there’s no socializing to be done in the walls, after all.

just thinks you’re shy and maybe a little odd? but he has manners! and he knows not to call you that out loud. he’s a good boy, you see.

the jokes are ....not very funny to him... but he’s not gonna say that either! you know why? that’s right! because he’s a good boy.

might give you a pity laugh from time to time because otherwise he feels bad.

but! brahmsy’s very on-board with laughing at dumb things. invites you to sit with him by the window and points out a rat rolling around in the garden. oh! there it goes!

Bubba Sawyer

you’re so cute!!! bubby makes sure to “compliment” you a lot by babbling at you softly and petting your head at the same time.

unfortunately he’s a little slow when it comes to the jokes so he can’t appreciate them as much...

honestly it’s hard to tell if he’s into it or not because bubba’s always smiling around you anyways. did he get one of your jokes or is he just happy to spend time with you? who knows.

you know who would appreciate the jokes and the antics though? choptop and nubbins.

drayton’s lifespan would be halved. he’s already got his hands full with the two troublemakers, and now you too?

Jason Voorhees

jason thinks you’re positively adorable! expect frequent head pats from this man.

like asa, he’s a bit of a paranoid so he makes sure to always keep an eye on you. you’re too sweet for this world and bad people might hurt you for it!

also a fan of the dad jokes! “hey jason, what’s a fish with no eye? ...a fsh.” cue muffled chuckling. gives you a thumbs up - jason’s seal of approval.

because big boy is a sweetheart, he’ll fake a laugh even if he doesn’t find it funny. also he’s given a thumbs up to all your jokes. all of them.

not one to laugh at dumb things but cares about you enough to want to know about it. tree stump shaped like a butt? hm you’re right. why are you laughing? ? how is it funny???

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

jesse also thinks it’s cute but in a condescending way.

“hey jesse, what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? ....sneakers!” deep sigh.

like the true gentleman he is, he would never leave you hanging no matter how bad your jokes are. mostly he’ll just shake his head and give an exaggerated sigh.

once he had pulled out his knife and handed it to you, asking you to “please end his misery,” after you had told him the impasta joke.

definitely the type to give sarcastic comments such as “please not another one, I’m already dying of laughter,” or “you’re putting other comedians out of business.”

Michael Myers

no reaction as always. just grumpier than usual.

bastard hands mcmike thinks it’s dumb and you’re dumb, so naturally he’s going to follow you wherever you go. y’know, just in case someone decides to abduct you.

completely lost in thought while you’re ripping out all your killer jokes. why are you like this? internally decides he’s going to repeat the process again tomorrow.

thinks it’s a serious problem and if you keep at it, he’s going to get creative. would you behave if he just... throws a sheet over you?

would listen to you sometimes and you’d automatically know by his dramatic sighs.

Thomas Hewitt

tommy’s very socially awkward so he’d probably be more relaxed around you, if anything.

not as generous with pity-laughing but he’ll give you a good pat on the head for effort.

surprisingly sassy? tommy's actually very expressive despite not being able to talk, so more often than not he’s giving you a look that says “you need to get better jokes.”

or sometimes giving you a sarcastic sigh, followed by the rumble of his chest. that doesn’t count! he was laughing at the situation, not at your joke!

it’s hard to make the big man laugh so don’t get too discouraged. however, he does find it difficult not smile at you every time you try.

Vincent Sinclair

oh.. honey, no. vincent’s too nice for his own good so he’d be overly supportive of anything and everything you do.

dad jokes? groan. but if you’re the one making them? he’ll make the effort to chuckle, at the very least. (bo complaining in the background about how vinny doesn’t laugh at his jokes.)

can’t help but find it oddly endearing. this man is a hopeless romantic so he’d be praising you any chance he gets.

his praising method is the same as bubba’s - only vincent hums fondly at you instead of babbling.

it’s not easy to make vincent laugh either but he doesn’t want to discourage you from trying so he’ll just keep faking it and hope you get better.

[blindedbypluto]

yuta as a bf.

ik yall are tired of hearing this but POSSESSIVENESS is a huuuge thing with him

however, with mercury in libra, he’ll always think twice before he lets his words slip 

he’s very rational and would much rather talk it out 

he can get a bit physical or aggressive without trying....he’s just very intimidating in general. 

when he is in a relationship, he doesn’t care for anybody else

so cold to other people that it’s kinda funny 

he wants an all consuming love so you wouldn’t catch him dating around for name sake 

COMMITMENT !!!! the last person on earth to cheat 

is also super adventurous 

open to try new things and travel a lot 

no matter what you guys do, you’ll feel like you’re being protected 

INTENSE !!!

however, he’s very scared of rejection and feeling vulnerable 

he has to be in control at all times or he’ll get super sulky 

fights dont happen often but when they do, they leave a HUGE impact

definitely the type to hold his feelings in and ofc, that’s never a good thing 

heartbreak feels like the end of the world to him

im not kidding when i say that a fight or a break up feels like dying to him

he just loves so deeply like that 

he can be over bearing and suffocating :(((

hates having secrets. when it comes to a relationship, he needs honesty and loyalty more than anything else 

can never get enough of his s/o tbh

always texting you or calling you or thinking of you 

wants to go on 75483798 different dates in one day

his s/o is on his mind always 

he can be obsessive as hell. he’s the type to analyze you before you guys are even introduced to each other.

the type to want to know everything about you 

wants to be your safe place :((((

VERRRYYYYY PHYSICAL 

sex is a huge part of a relationship

if you call it anything except ‘making love’, he’ll be offended 

to him, it’s such an intimate thing for two lovers to go through

sex is always on his mind lol 

so kinky that its kinda scary 

ALSO , SO INTO AFTER CARE AND CUDDLES !!!!!

LOVES GIVING HIS S/O COMPLIMENTS AND REASSURANCE 

HE’LL REASSURE YOU FOR HOURS ON END 

loving gazes, hand holding and kisses all come as a package deal with yuta 

he’s just perfect like that <3

[transsexualhamlet]

asmr i psychoanalyze my favorite war criminal, aka calling out norman the essay

basically all of my thoughts on norman on one callout post because i care him (both manga and anime are discussed)

LINK TO RAY PSYCHOANALYSIS:  https://chaoticgaymess.tumblr.com/post/646749875570196480/ray-81194-the-long-explanation 

this is going to be ungodly long so here’s a keep reading, essay below the cut

((tw for suicidal ideation and self harm, brief discussion of eating disorders))

Disclaimer: no shipping is included here this is just about norman also they’re kids who call each other siblings

Thoughts: So you may be thinking, Rowan, why do you yell about the colorless war criminal so often? Well the answer lies in your honor the court hates to see a girlboss winning. Norman is a girlboss :) Yes norman is a tiny twink who can't lift a milk jug. And he is a girlboss :) Obviously I don't condone, um, eugenics and all, but that's not the point the point is that he satisfies my need for more characters like Levi motherfucking Calder from Unwind because I’m apparently an edgy 13 year old. Also all of his problems are violently things I can fix and I keep him around as a pet project because someone needs to give him a hug and slap him on the face

I diagnose him with things: 

-pisces man :pensive:

-is he albino? Not literally. Is his skin so pale he would catch fire if he went outside at noon? Yes.

-autism: Yes I’m aware that calling him autistic makes him, problematic rep by perpetuating the autism unfeeling savant stereotype whatever but have you considered i’m autistic and I’m projecting also he’s L with standards? Anyway traits of AuTism he has: hyper   fixation, canonically breaks and fixes things over and over because like ofc he does, doesn’t understand Emotion, hyperaware of body language at the same time as it all somehow flying over his head, low empathy, sensory experiences™, min maxed in certain areas, and I don’t think he’s got social interaction quite right? There’s something off about it

-gifted kid (derogatory) This is self explanatory but basically him being the smartest and the best in a competitive environment caused most of his issues, such as the perfectionism, the need to succeed, the lack of self esteem and ridiculously high expectations on himself, giving himself no breaks or time to relax, the “i must be productive with every second of my day or i will die” deal, the “peaked at 11” thing, the way in which he goes through life like there’s going to be a fucking test on it

-Eldest Daughter™ lmao. Norman’s always had to be mature, he’s always had to be the best, he’s always had to do the things Ray got out of bc he’s a snitch and Emma got out of because Isabella likes her. Norman gets respect from Isabella only if he excels, and her bar for him is astronomical. He doesn’t have the Mommy Issues that Ray has, but it’s because for him Isabella basically just reflected his expectations on himself, whereas with Ray it was more personal.

-low empathy (part of the autism thing): this one needs more explanation, but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself. Cognitive empathy is a thing and he can use it, but he does not instinctively understand other people’s emotions, or even recognize them properly, especially when the person is not like himself. This is obvious in Emma. Man has no fucking clue what’s going on in her head or why she does what she does, but he can predict what she will do in any given situation very well. He could understand the suicide attempt from ray he predicted more because Ray’s an easier equation to solve, and someone who’s more similar to him. I know he gets it because, well, motherfucker’s just as self desctructive as him, just in a more dignified manner.

-he’s got some sort of chronic illness. This is also me projecting and a headcanon but he’s got something going on, even before lambda pumped him full of growth hormones or whatever which they maybe should have Not Done but oh well. (I assume this just didn’t happen in the anime, since he’s still so fucking short) But he's So weak. He passed out when it was too hot. He passed out when it was too cold. He can’t open a pickle jar. His skin is too pale and he’s skinny af. He’s much more prone to sickness and probably has asthma too? But in the case that he did actually have something going on, I don’t think grace field would see the need to treat it, if it didn’t impact the quality of his meat? Isabella’s probably just “you have chronic pain and you get migraines? Great, take some tylenol and do some calculus.” Can’t say that probably helped anything.

personality type: ISTJ

Basically, he’s the most boring personality type to exist, and personally as an enfp i do not respect him. But basically this means he’s a fucking nerd that gets his projects done for school the day they’re assigned, is probably the president of the Anime Student Council™, and could probably get away with premeditated murder (ok actual istjs this is a joke don’t skin me)

The only trait that norman doesn’t have on the istj thing is telling the truth. Yeah, he values the truth, but like, that doesn’t apply to him, clearly. Bitch is a notorious liar.

The only other personality type he has any similarity with is intj, which is the same except it’s more rare and a purple theme instead of a blue theme. Sadly, that’s not him though, because although he can care more about some kinds of philosophy overall this isn’t the case and ray already occupies this personality type tbh. 

strengths and weaknesses: This one’s kind of obvious, but he is aside from the crazy insane intelligence good at planning. Extremely good at planning. He can predict any outcome and figure out how to prevent it, using all his resources. For example he’s physically weak and someone could literally just walk up and stab him, but it doesn’t impede his progress on his goals because he’s surrounded himself with strong, mentally inferior people who would die for him in a heartbeat. He never gets stuck in some “everything is shit and i can’t do anything” deal like Emma and Ray do, he always works through it and has confidence in his abilities (in as much as he will solve the problem or die™. Weaknesses other than his twink body include his Low Wisdom score. It’s funny how he’s often associated with an owl, the mans is 14. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t. Plus obviously his fundamental misunderstanding of so much of everything going on around him, the fact that he lies not just to the world but himself, his refusal to take care of himself and his incredible cowardice. His achilles heel is being forced to, actually confront his actions.

what he likes about himself: He does pride himself on his mental abilities, and his judgement, which in his opinion is the only correct opinion and the only correct way. In the past, he likes being seen as a leader, he likes being responsible for other people. He likes his ability to manipulate and lie, because he sees it as an asset, and I honestly think he enjoys being william minerva more than he enjoys being Norman. He prides himself on his unhealthy expectations and the fact that he is able to meet them. Honestly, he does think he’s better than everyone else, mentally, though it’s humbled by his self hatred. Cursed thought: If Norman had self esteem he would be light yagami. 

what he doesn’t like about himself/insecurities: Oh god, nearly everything. His appearance, his status, his superiority, his physical inability, his own mess of a mind, also have I mentioned his appearance. He’s obsessed with self control. He wants everything he sees wrong with himself gone. And I understand why having control of everything is necessary and appealing, everything for him has always been rigid and planned out from moment one, he was even more regulated in lambda, and though he desperately wants to Not Be Food, he has no idea what to do with the chains now that he’s broken out of them. So he just wraps them around himself. Regulates to an unhealthy degree when he sleeps, what he eats, when he actually takes even minimal care of his own problems, what he looks like, how much of himself he lets show, the expressions on his face, the literal thoughts inside his own head he will shut down if they are not Correct. It’s literal self harm. Norman, please stop it.

motivations/goals in life/general philosophy: To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He sure thinks he does, he could sure give you a memorized answer, but it means nothing. He wants to excel. He wants Emma to be happy. He wants to be perfect and for that to make everything perfect. But he doesn’t realize everything he’s working towards will do pretty much the opposite of that. He’s a crippling perfectionist, and pretty much everything he does is motivated by his fear of failing. He picks the certain path, he doesn’t wait for anyone else, he doesn’t care if it’s not nice. Emma foils that a most of the time because he cares about her, but it can only go so far, especially after he’s had so much time without her to develop a Complex. His philosophy is very contradictory, basically the tokyo ghoul “everything bad that happens to you stems from a lack of ability”. All of his problems are his fault. All the world’s problems are his to fix. If he can’t fix them, it’s his fault, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough, and not being perfect condemns someone forever, including himself.

how he’s perceived by others vs how he actually is: In most people there wouldn’t truly be much of a difference, but with Norman things are different, because, well, most of his personality in grace field is a put on, as well as the tough guy dictator thing he radiates after lambda. How he appears to someone is determined by the context of their meeting- the kids at grace field see him as a nerdy, weakish, pretty boring kid who is really caring and kind. The researchers at lambda see an obedient, beaten down and perfectionistic boy. The lambda kids see him as an infallible leader, ruthless and genius, a good man who knows what’s right. But in truth none of that is him. It’s a fucking chess game to him, putting on different faces, lying and pretending and treating everyone differently. In truth? He’s a fucking coward. He’s scared out of his mind and he’s tired and he can’t take pain, he’s obsessed with reaching some goal he deems is necessary that in the end is going to be his death because he doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions. He’s taken on the role of someone evil, though deep down he’s not, he feels it’s easier to live that way because it strips him of his conscience. 

interpersonal relationships: In general, Norman sees all relationships in a pretty dim light. He sees everyone as black and white, for the most part, and other people make no sense to him intuitively, he has to figure them out like a puzzle. He’s manipulative and not particularly kind, but he follows all societal expectations to a T, overly focused on his appearance and placing the person he’s interacting with into a Category™. So he can be truly kind, to people he feels deserve it, to people who he values and doesn’t see flaws in. He gets incredibly attached to people he loves, protective, though he often doesn’t take their own feelings on the matter into consideration, and he’s ruthless with anyone who he deems a bad person. With people he understands and relates to, though, things can be different. If he sees someone as like himself, he will drop all the social interaction police bullshit and cut to the chase of whatever he wants or needs from them, and he’s not very forgiving in any manner, if he thinks what someone did is actually bad.

Emma: Norman obviously cares a lot about Emma, and honestly views her as better than anyone else. He realizes her moral integrity and all of the things she has and he doesn’t, and admires it. Because of his black and white view, Emma is like an angel to him. She couldn’t do anything wrong if she tried. But he comes to treat her as something to be protected instead of respected, and although he realizes she wouldn’t like what he’s doing, he fundamentally cannot empathize with her and doesn’t try to understand her. Their personalities are very literally opposite. Norman really needs to fucking listen to her. And Emma needs to understand that Norman doesn’t have a single ounce of empathy and you really do need to spell it out for him. Emma can only convince him when she has logical reasons for her actions, which she, doesn’t often have. And Emma gave Norman too much slack, because she didn’t see past the surface, and Ray never wanted to warn her, even though he knew the dude was showing a bunch of red flags, because you know. It was kind of an unspoken deal between them. (on ray’s part)

Ray: His relationship with Ray is a lot more complicated than with Emma. He understands Ray, where he doesn’t understand Emma, and he can see right through anything Ray does. And this makes things really tense between them, because Ray doesn’t, take kindly to being psychoanalyzed. If someone perceives him he will deck them and Norman is just there silently perceiving him at all times when Emma doesn’t see it. They are both constantly in competition with each other, but they care about each other a lot, though it’s kind of in a derogatory way. They both recognize each other as fundamentally fucked up, and silently agree never to bring it up with Emma. They’re nice to each other when she’s around, but all pretenses disappear when she’s gone. Ray is always frustrated with Norman, because Norman’s never been intimidated by him, and though he tries his best not to be vulnerable around him, Norman can always see through it, whereas Ray can’t crack Norman’s fake fucking smile no matter what he does. Norman will always take Emma’s side, and doesn’t see Ray as a good person at all, but he still understands and can excuse him, he takes measures to be… worse than Ray, which is better in his mind, because it’s rational, and ‘not selfish’.

Isabella: She has always had ridiculously high expectations for Norman, and treats him kind of harshly compared to the others. Bitch has heat stroke and Isabella’s first question is a calculus problem instead of like, “are you ok”. She knows he doesn’t complain about anything ever and she doesn’t stop him from being Terrible to himself, because it makes her job easier. They want smart kids, not mentally adjusted kids. She does really care for all of them, but she basically overrides it, she gives them what they want, not what they need, lets them be exactly what they’re making themselves. Isabella is distant with Ray but gives him anything he wants, she’s close and super nice with Emma, but Norman is… it’s weird. Isabella is proud of him because he meets her astronomically high bar. But at the same time, Norman never really cared for her that much and has never pretended to. Once they discover The Thing, though, he has a revelation, and it doesn’t take him long to switch his entire perspective about her. He’s pretty much like. Oh. She’s like me. That explains it, time to treat her like I treat myself: fucking brutally. Passive aggressive as hell. The kind of energy the :) emoticon at the end of an email gives. He does like just go “yeah we should kill her” at one point, which. You know, ok. When he got shipped out it was hhhh really interesting because Isabella knew full well he knew he was walking to his death and Norman was like “are you Truly Happy?” and just went :) and she was like h u h and tried to get him to talk while they were walking there because she feels Bad about it and he just. Did not. He didn’t say a single word just kind of smiled menacingly at her and I think it was half a sort of rebellion and half because he viewed her as similar to himself and therefore felt no need to put up any front with her, no words were necessary for him to impart exactly how he felt about it

Lambda kids: His relationship with the lambda kids is weird and bittersweet. I think he really truly does care about them, they were in a similar situation to his and he wants them to get what they want. However it is not a healthy or beneficial relationship, they see him as a god and don’t realize that he’s killing himself to give them what they want, he’s basically adopted them when out of anyone norman’s the one that should least be in charge of kids. I think he’s honestly younger than them but I’m not sure if they even know. He acts like their fucking mom, and that’s from what he thinks mothers are like… like isabella?? Giving them what they want, not what they need, lying to them, showing a front, caring deeply for them but at the same time using them for his own ends. And it’s not helpful for him. He thinks he knows what they need, but what he’s doing is what they want. What they need is therapy,(and so does norman), and he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with using them as weapons because they love him. It makes him feel good, to be seen as perfect, to have people who don’t know how weak he really is. But it’s only making him worse, and he’s enabling everything the lambda kids are doing wrong as well. They need like, Yuugo and Lucas. Some actual adults who are actually wise and have the ability and the knowledge to take care of them and understand their mental problems and maybe actually address them. And actually be nice to them. But um sadly. 

what he’s doing wrong: It’s pretty obvious, but… Norman, you maybe *shouldn’t* commit genocide? You’re not helping emma, you’re not making anything better. You’re not helping the lambda kids, you’re enabling them. You’re not helping your friends from grace field, you’re ignoring what they want. You’re not helping the world, you’re eradicating an entire race from the face of the earth and murdering the poor for the crimes of the fucking 1%. You’re not being a martyr, you’re a selfish piece of shit liar you little coward, you just want an easy way out and you want to die on your bloody fucking hill instead of admitting you’re wrong. Grow up, cringe little man.

why he went wrong: I think most of the reason this happened was the way he was raised combined with the kind of person he is. Norman would have turned out fine, if there has been good adults in his life who actually cared about his well being. Instead he got people who just wanted to control him and make him what they needed, and family who largely didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Ray being an ass to him most of forever probably didn’t help but well, that’s just Ray. Even then, he would have managed alright if he escaped with the rest of the kids because he would never have been separated from the experiences that caused the rest of them to realize demons weren’t all evil. In lambda he didn’t have anyone supporting him or telling him when things went too far, so he fell into relying on himself alone, pushing himself further with absolutely no limits. All he saw was enemies and allies, and things got stratified. He never had a lucas or a yuugo or mujika when he would have needed it, instead he found children who wanted him to be in charge and a world that made it so he had to be. Everything was an echo chamber for his worst thoughts, so they just became more and more dominant.

what he needs: To put it simply, he needs Emma and Ray to cut to the chase and slap him across the face and make him take care of himself. He needs to be forced to see everything for what it really is- this edgy 14 year old committing atrocities to feel better about himself? He needs to be told that what he’s doing is irrational, because in reality, it is. There are better solutions that he’s ignoring, both to his own suffering and the demons, and the way he’s going now no one will truly be happy because of it, that there is no requirement that things be perfect and this bullshit doesn’t make him stronger. He needs someone responsible to take the fucking dagger out of his hands. He also needs someone to babysit him and make him go to bed at a reasonable time.

i describe his personality through songs on my spotify playlist for him:

-outrunning karma by alec benjamin: this one super applies because it calls him out for making shitty decisions, being manipulative and a liar, and having blood on his hands in a very calm and subdued manner, that he knows this is wrong and yet he chooses to keep running faster and faster towards destruction, that he means to escape it through death

-empty by boyinaband and jaiden: yes this is a song about anorexia yes it also applies to norman i’m not saying norman literally has an eating disorder (but honestly it wouldn’t be far out of character if he did) but metaphorically this applies to his method of ignoring his needs, both emotional and physical, in favor of seeming in control 

-toxic thoughts by faith marie: this one speaks to his gifted kid trauma. Man’s got perfectionism running his entire soul. He’s terrified of failing, because he’s always been at the very top, he’ll beat himself up over any miniscule mistake and forces himself to keep at bad habits that keep him Productive, but he won’t ask for help no matter how much he’s suffering because that would be failing, he fights with his mind, this song basically tells him “yeah i feel you but you need to stop that”

-no time to die by billie eilish: ignore the romantic overtones but this is emma and norman, emma who trusted norman and was lied to, betrayed, for norman’s greater good, and norman who refuses to feel or hurt because of it, who refuses to apologize or see himself as wrong, pushes forward because he’s going to Pass Away

-achilles come down by gang of youths: hhhhh it's like. His vibe. Obviously you can disregard the lifestyle specific shit but it's. It's achilles come down you have to understand it’s like the same deal as friend, please just like french and longer

-friend, please by 21 pilots: i feel like i don't have to explain this one but it’s more to the manga (not the anime where he kind of figures out he done did wrong by himself instead of committing unforgivable sins and still going yeah this is valid before emma is like holy fuck). He is like sorry emma I cannot fix anything I’m going to die :) *coughs blood* and emma going like stop it stop it stop it fuck you see you fucked up and i forgive you just stop don’t walk away while he’s like “no<3”

why im a repressed little norman kinnie even tho he’s my exact opposite: I don’t generally kin ppl like norman, honestly he’s an infj I have no clue how it happened but I’m pretty sure it’s because of my intense desire to project onto a little man who cannot lift a milk jug and has chronic pain and decides you know what I AM tired of being nice i DO wanna go apeshit. Also he’s a twink. A little bastard. He’s a terrible person and I go mood every time he does anything. I said mood when he fell out of a tree. Don’t know what this says about me, I swear I wouldn’t commit no genocide. He’s like the inverse of Yoichi Saotome, and somehow i kin him too. Damn.

Miscellaneous headcanons:

-man’s SO attached to his william minerva cloak. He’s a wispy little bitch, you know he’s wearing that thing inside the house, he’s fucking cold. It also makes him Look Important he can retreat into it like an emo middle schooler with an oversized sweatshirt

-although you could probably get Mad street cred from having two whole brands you know he’s not gonna whip it out and show off his lambda thing he’s incredibly self conscious and his chest hasn’t seen the sun in years

-norman’s got MAD laundry skills to be able to wear like, all white all the time while constantly murdering people. I think he’s the only one who knows to do the laundry. And Ray is the only one who knows how to cook.

-but even then there’s gotta still be a few questionable stains on that thing, but if anyone asks he’s like “ketchup” “I’ve literally never seen you eat anything with that much color” “ketchup :)” *coughs blood*

-he’s probably thought “well i have not literally coughed blood yet today so I am not legally obligated to take care of myself”

-He probably adopted much of his current personality from taking on the persona of william minerva. I’m calling him out for being like me, he’s a blank motherfucker, he absorbs personality traits from characters he plays! He’s just not in theatre so it’s a bit more intense!

-the first time he sees barbara Eating Demon Meat he kinda stares and goes oh cool! not for me and violently exits the room. Like it's hilarious bc he thinks that's really gross on a moral level though he understands why she would do it 

-Which is even funnier bc I’m not sure about the canon on this but there was That Chapter Cover that one time that kinda seemed to imply norman eating demon meat which i absolutely latched onto because I’m terrible. He was just politely eating it. With a knife and fork like why dude. As to a possible reason for him doing that I can come up with, of course barbara does it out of spite, but man we don’t know the properties, if it had some sort of painkilling aspect to it or it was like, caffeine, you know he would, but he would Definitely not talk about it

-I kinda disagree with what the anime did in episode eight? It was good I liked it and the imagery was fantastic but also have you considered Norman could not kill someone with his own hands if he tried, or even physically injure them? That’s what his minions are for shawty. That doesn’t make it any less bad, of course, but the manga captured it perfectly by the fact of he carries around a dagger and a scepter in the capitol battle, but he never even raises it out of more than intimidation. He walks through calmly like he’s not scared at all but he makes sure all the lambda kids do all the actual murder, he just stands there impartially, clearly The Mastermind, as the kids fucking murder the queen of the demons. And I think that’s more profound because he’s, a coward. And he doesn’t realize being the one who orders the strike makes you just as responsible as the one who sticks the knife in someone. The knife is just there to Compensate™  for the fact that he weighs like eighty pounds.

-he’s more of like lady macbeth (because he’s a girlboss) than macbeth himself. He has blood on his hands, but it’s the kind of blood that you can’t wash off. He never killed anyone himself, and he cannot admit he never would have been able to.

-the last thing is that there are definitely epic things about the anime, episode 8 was my favorite so far, goddamn that imagery and the bitch walking through the city while it burns down with the screaming asmr going on behind him my god. We stan. But like the downside of, letting Emma and Ray get to him before he commits first degree murder makes the whole thing lose a lot of his value. In the manga (oh my god look at me being a pretentious manga fan please) it fit more of his ideas- he never backed down, and he planned for Emma coming and trying to stop him. Of course he wanted Emma to stop him, he wanted it with all his fucking heart he was pleading for it to happen but the man wouldn’t give himself what he wanted if he was held at gunpoint. He knew she’d come and he made absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to stop him. So when she came and he said “you’re too late”??? It kind of said it all, in the fact that he was disappointed that he got his way. He still thought he did the right thing, but deep down there where he shoved all his thoughts and feelings he desperately wanted to be saved from himself.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Feel free to eviscerate me if these are not Correct he is just my favorite girlboss who I feel the need to yell at

[stargazer-balladeer]

Them with a Shy S/o [Persona 5]

anon: Hello! Congratulations on your Followers! I wanted to ask if you can write the "Them with a shy s/o" for the Persona 5 cast as well? Thanks!!

Characters Included: Akira Kurusu, Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki, Yusuke Kitagawa, Makoto Niijima, Haru Okumura, Futaba Sakura & Goro Akechi

Note: A lot of you guys like Persona 5 huh? Oh well, I can see why :) Hope ya’ll enjoy this!

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: none

Akira Kurusu

This guy? He'll find it cute— no, scratch that. ADORABLE that his s/o's shy. He'll be all over them when he laid eyes on them, they better be prepared >:)

We all know this guy's a tease, right? And you are NO exception to this. Actually, you had it worse.

Because you are shy, he'll find every reaction of yours cute and always seem to tease you about it, until you were pretty much the twin of an apple -_-

But he knows his limit, of course. If he sees that it's either making you uncomfortable or hurt by what he's doing, he'll stop.

When you two first meet, it's you avoiding him and him pouting as you ran away. Pretty much a cat-and-rat chase, which the Phantom Thieves find funny, watching their leader chasing his s/o.

The reason why you're running? You heard the rumors and thought it was true. Not wanting to be his next victim, you ran whenever he's near you.

He only managed to talk to you (without you running away) when Ann drag you over to Akira, the group have had enough of this shenanigans.

You two hang-out in either LeBlanc or outside, but mostly in LeBlanc though. You two just chilling while drinking coffee (or tea, or whatever beverages you prefer) and just talk.

He'll find it hilarious if he finds out you're talkative, he might tease you about it but other than that, made no comment about it. He loves your voice so it's a bonus for him :D

How he ask you out? He asks you in a straightforward manner while you were drinking, which made you successfully chock. You two panic for a bit before you answered him yes, with a bit of embarrassment ofc.

Ryuji Sakamoto

He might not at all notice you, srry. Unless you're either friends with his friends (or his friends pointing at you) or you're a victim of Kamoshida. Yeah. That's the only way for him to only notice you.

He might not really care about you much but when he notices you everywhere he goes, he suddenly cared about you.

Like Akira, he finds your shy trait cute and find it hilarious when he finds out you're talkative. But he also LOVES hearing your voice so its a plus for him.

I don’t see Ryuji as a tease though, he might be as shy as you are! Which frustrates the group when Ryuji is being his Tsundere self. Like you would go up to him and he will either freeze or go away from you, that is, IF he realizes his feelings for you.

But he finds every reaction of yours cute but he wouldn’t admit it.

How you two meet? The first bulletin pls. If you’re friends with one of his friends, namely Ann, she would basically drag you over to meet him and the rest. If you’re a victim, chances are you appeared as a Shadow in Kamoshida’s Palace. 

He would find your shy self indifferent really, he already has seen that reaction of yours everywhere he goes (his delinquent self and all). But he might get to know you if you two were (force) to be together or left alone, he finds silence uncomfortable afterall.

You two will be often seen hanging out during and after school, probably in front of a store or the arcade. Akira (with Morgana) and Ann will also join in but not all the time, so its basically you and Ryuji.

How he ask you out? Very hesitant, shy and in-denial. It might take some time, and his friends pushing, for him to ask you out. But when he does confess, you could hardly understand what he was trying to tell you. Him stuttering while blushing while still acting cool, yeah, you were hella confuse.

But when you DO understand, you’ll blush and nod, too shy to say anything (much to Ryuji’s relief and dismay).

Ann Takamaki

This girl’s basically gushes about how adorable you were and spoils you rotten, much to your embarrassment. You two definitely met by her approaching you and just start talking.

If she sees you were uncomfortable with her, she would keep her distance. Other than that, she’ll be stuck with you. Good luck with that.

She’s so energetic that she would drag you to places where you’ve never been before. 

She’ll be the one who orders for the both of you if you are uncomfortable doing so, she really doesn’t mind.

She might tease you a bit, just to get a reaction out of you. But if she sees you were getting hurt or uncomfortable by her teasing, she’ll stop. This woman respects your privacy to a whole new level -_-

Like I said, Ann drags you places to places. You two are hardly ever seen in one place really, except for school, LeBlanc and that store that sells sweets. 

She doesn’t really mind your shy self really, but when she finds out you’re chatty, you two will be talking non-stop. Your topics will keep bouncing from one to another, till there is nothing left to say (which would probably never happen since you two always seem to find something to talk about).

How does she confess her undying love to you? She does it in a cliche way, this girl lives for cliches :) She does it by giving you 3 red roses, which means “I love you”. Whether you know or not about flower language, she wouldn’t tell you at once. She’ll wait until you figure it out. 

If you don’t know, either search in Google or ask someone (Siri?). You should probably go to Haru or Makoto for this.

If you already knew or just figured it out, you would immediately go to Ann and say your answer to her. Pls say yes ;-;

Yusuke Kitagawa

This boi doesn’t really care about your shy personality, no, he finds it endearing. You somehow managed to caught his artistic eyes. Don’t get me started with this poor boi. He doesn’t know how to approach you! So he did it the only way he knows how, following you around.

Ofc, this has an opposite effect than what Yusuke wanted. This made him creepy and stalker for you, so you keep running away while him chasing you. You even thought he was a kidnapper or a thief (not literally tho COUGH COUGH).

The group finds it amusing (Mommy Makoto sighing in the background) as they watch the scene unfold. But as the days go by, they were kinda worried and concerned about the two of you. So they decided to take matters in their own hands.

They managed to get you and Yusuke in the same room together. They even instructed Yusuke to not be weird. Yusuke, being confused, decided to follow their orders. 

The two of you managed to have a civil conversation about sunsets of all things. Ofc, you were still wary around him but you soon found yourself being comfortable around him. 

Yusuke isn’t a tease at all, actually, he’s more oblivious than you even! Yusuke doesn’t really understand the concept about love but is willing to learn about it.

(PS: Pls also feed this bby boi ;-; he needs it DESPERATELY)

You and Yusuke can be found either in a art gallery or his house. It’s also either watching him paint, listening to him rant or being his muse. It might be boring to others but you always found yourself enjoying his peculiar self.

He doesn’t mind if you’re talkative really. He likes to listen to you whenever you talk about something, he also finds this trait of yours endearing.

How he ask you out? Pls don’t ask ;-;. This boi doesn’t even know his feelings towards you, which was VERY obvious to everyone, heck, even you! You, being your shy self, is very hesitant to confess to him. WHAT IF HE DOESN’T LIKE ME? -_- <-- my reaction

It take everyone to explain to him his feelings. You might need to wait a bit long for him to finally realize his feelings. But when he does, he’ll immediately confess to you. This boi doesn’t know how to be embarrassed unfortunately ;-;

Makoto Niijima

This girl would notice you if you were in the Student Council or classmates with her or a victim of someone’s Palace. Other than that, you’re pretty much a background character for her. 

You always thought she was intimidating so you avoid her as much as you could. When Makoto notices you avoiding her, she would be hurt ofc. Did she do something to you that she doesn’t know of? You can be sure that Makoto would rack her mind for DAYS, trying to recall what made you avoid her so much.

If she couldn’t find out about it, be sure that she’ll approach you the following day. Managing to corner you, which is unintentional for her part. She would ask you the question and when you answered honestly (you can’t lie to her), she would be confuse. 

But ever since then, she would make an effort in becoming friends with you. She’s not bothered by your shy self, she finds it cute though :)

If she finds out you’re talkative, she’ll be surprised about it but it was warmly welcomed, especially during her time in being President. During her signing papers, you would talk to her about your day and some unrelated topics. She doesn’t mind at all, she finds your voice soothing.

Pls give this girl a rest ;-; she works wayyyy too hard. 

You two can be found hanging out in LeBlanc or either houses. You two can be drinking coffee (or whatever beverages you prefer) and just chat with one another.

How does she confess? It might also take some time since she wants to make sure that what she’s feeling is true. Bc I can see her as the person who likes someone, it’s already that person that they want to marry and spend their whole life together. 

But when she is sure about it, she would take it slow and confess to you. She’s patient so she watches as you fumble your words up. She’ll be overjoyed that you accept her feelings though. 

Yay! Happy mommy Makoto :D

Haru Okumura

She already notices you wayyy before you notice her. She notices your shy self and talkative self, she finds it adorable though. I’m gonna bet that she will be the one who approaches you first and strike a conversation with you.

You couldn’t afford to run away from her, she’s too precious! TwT So you decided to converse with her also and find yourself enjoying her presence much. 

Her aura around her gives out a soothing one, it easily attracts someone to her. It could be a weapon or defense, not sure. But one thing is for sure, you’re hook at once.

She might tease you here and there, but she’s rather passive. She enjoys cuddling and holding hands with you, even before you two started to date. She’s touch-starved ;-;

She is the kind of person who listens to other people talking. She wouldn’t dare to interrupt you while you are talking about something you are passionate about.

You two are never in the same place, like Ann. You two can be found everywhere, since I like to think that Haru likes to explore new areas. But she’s not gonna drag you around if you don’t like it. She would DEFINTELY stay with you at home, cuddling with you in the couch.

Haru might seem shy at first, but don’t be fooled! When she finds out she has feelings for you, she would straight-in confess her feelings to you. It might involve a bouquet or two :)

Pls say yes ;-; this bby deserve da world :)

Futaba Sakura

She doesn’t know you at all, unless you are either a part of the Phantom Thieves or a friend of her friends. Though she wouldn’t meet you either in that, so you best believe that you are a member of this outcast group or else you wouldn’t meet this hacker girl.

She can relate to you so much, although hers is much more of anxiety than shyness. She can still relate to you. You two might not talk at all, unless someone forces them to talk each other (i.e: mommy Makoto or daddy Akira :3 I don’t ship them tho).

You two instantly click though, much to everyone’s relief and dismay. You can bet that Futaba would drag you in her shenanigans, better be prepared :)

SHE LOVES THAT YOU TWO CAN TALK ENDLESSLY :D

Where you two can be seen? In her room. She never leaves her room unless necessary. So you two hang-out there, hope you don’t mind. You two play video games together or her teaching you how to hack.

She isn’t much into touchy-feely things but she would welcome a hug or cuddles. She’s more touch-starved than Haru unfortunately ;-;

How she asks you out? Simple. She doesn’t. And the worst thing, you don’t either. So you two can be friends for so long until either one of you confess.

So you better toughen up if you want her to be your girlfriend >:) This girl would surely say yes if you (stutter your) confess(ion). 

Goro Akechi

This boi is almost like Akira in so many ways, except for the fact that he handle his situation in a much different way. This two bois can be best bros if they want to -_-

Anyway, back to hc.

You two would meet during his school days or outside. He recognizes you as the shy girl in his class. He might scare you away though, since you can’t handle his fangirls or his charming looks, much to his confusion.

He tries talking to you but you always manage to find a loop-hole, much to his dismay. He managed to talk to you when you two were (coincidentally) riding the train.

That’s the start of the bittersweet friendship you two have.

Much like Akira, he WILL tease you to get reaction from you, he finds this adorable. He would leave teasing kisses around your faces and leave a lingering kiss on your lips, leaving you wanting more. He’s such a tease -3-

But he’ll stop if he sees you embarrassed or hurt, he’ll kiss your entire face in apology. At the end, you are as red as a Cherry.

You two can be seen either in either your home or in LeBlanc or anywhere private, since he has a fanbase. He would rather for the two of you to be at home or at LeBlanc since it really provides privacy. 

His work schedule is all over the place, so be sure to always be prepared whenever Akechi wants to hang-out with you.

It’s also a plus if you can cook pancakes for him :) You get his approval

How he asks you out? In the most basic way, asking you if you are available tomorrow to eat dinner or watch movie. SAY YES PLS :)

(He’s internally panicking ofc)

BTW, be sure to be prepared when he breaks up with you at the end. You know what I mean :) 

[x] Main Page || [x] Persona 5 Page

[rippingattheseams]

(this is a really long and messy vent post so like feel free to ignore this i just want to write whats going on in hopes of it making me feel better)

okay so yesterday was my first day of this stressful summer camp thing i have to do for a scholarship program and it’s literally just school in the middle of june and after freaking out abt it enough it turns out my grandma, who ofc is the only one besides my brother who doesnt seem to forget i’m there likely has stage 5 kidney failure (which is fatal) and i’m probably gonna have to go and see her within a week and the only death i’ve experienced of someone close to me is my dog when i was 9 and i forgot how awful it feels. i also was talking to my only friend about stuff because i’m getting my fourth therapist after finally starting to kinda open up to the last one but now she’s also leaving (she should be back in fall cause she’s having her kid but it still sucks cause i was starting to feel okay with her) and even though i never was able to tell her a lot of going on and she never gave advice she just let me vent, i still don’t want to see another one but back to the original point me and my friend were on ft and i found two of my old diaries from 1st grade and 3-5th grade and although it was mostly funny cause i was a fucked up kid who did fucked up things and couldn’t spell (and still can’t tbh) some of it was depressing especially considering how young i was. there was stuff about how i was so lonely and you could tell just by how much i wrote about this friend that i really relied on her for so much and not really in the venting kind of way i just liked her so much cause she was the only one who didn’t judge me or leave me. i didn’t have many friends throughout elementary and none of them except for her talk to me now. i finally opened up to her about why i loved going to her house so much as a child and why i still feel so emotionally attached to her family despite them not really liking me anymore. as a kid my household sucked tbh. i remember going to her house for the first time and got confused on why they all ate dinner together and didn’t go off to their rooms. up until a littoe over a year ago i’ve never really had a family dinner (and now it’s just my mom making me sit with her in the living room cause after she found out i was cutting in 7th grade she wanted to keep an eye on me and we just watch tv now and eat which isn’t that bad cause i have a good relationship with her now) but my parents always fought, often physically, and my dad was always drinking and my mom was constantly tired. it’s still the same but without as much fighting, which ofc i’m grateful for, but i still hold so much resentment towards my dad mostly, but my mom too. my dad really does love me, and i know it, and it genuinely hurts him when im annoyed or angry with him. i feel so guilty but he was so awful to me and blamed me for a lot, and still does, and is narcissistic and has awful anger issues. in the last year or so ive really started to realize that this isn’t normal. my childhood consisted of so much and i just thought everybody went through it. i want to truly love my dad again but everytime he actually does or says something decent it just makes me remember all of the shitty things he did to me and my mom. going back to my friend i keep bringing up, i was always so jealous of her. her family really loved her, she has a sibling who actually lived with her and cared about her, teachers loved her, other kids did, her house was nice and everything worked, she was skinny, she was pretty, she lived in a nice neighborhood with other kids in her neighborhood she got to play with. i always wondered why i was never able to experience it. i still do. i mean i don’t want to just sit here and feel sorry for myself, but sometimes that’s really all i have the energy to do. everytime i think i’m finally getting better, this happens again. i was also in the internet way too young, and got groomed too many times. a lot of older men were creepy to me irl too. i’m starting to see how its affecting me now and how i’m like hypersexual until anything remotely intimate happens to me, even if it’s as small as a hug from family, and it makes me so

uncomfortable. i don’t even remember getting “the talk” i just knew everything from the interne. i even got porn bots sending me explicit shit in the 3rd grade. my friend was the best thing that ever happened to me, if i’m being honest. i was an awful friend to her because i’d randomly get mad at her for not doing anything and would stop talking to her. i was like a stereotypical toxic friend all through elementary and i’m still not sure why. i would randomly cut her off but every time i apologized cause i realized she was the only one i had left, she’d always accept. she honestly shouldn’t of, because i didn’t deserve it. she was always a pushover and i was always the pusher (for lack of a better word lmao) but i haven’t done anything like that to her in years. it’s embarrassing but i’m glad she did end up sticking through it with me since if we weren’t friends now, i probably wouldn’t be here. she is quite literally the reason i stopped halfway through my attempt in 7th grade. i couldn’t lose her and i knew i couldn’t do this to her. i was only ever mean to her in elem cause i never knew normalcy and just wanted to be like the popular kids and so i would try and mimic them to make myself less weird. it never worked, obviously, but honestly the fact that she put up with my bs for so long is a miracle.

[angelhalo]

Smut Alphabet - Barbatos

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Already has the towels and blankets on standby to clean and wrap you up. If you’re especially needy, he’ll on the rare occasion spoon you (you’re the little spoon ofc, doesn’t matter if you’re physically bigger) with lots of words of affirmation and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. But usually, he’s quiet. Can’t help but offer a compliment about something you did or how you look; it’s part of his etiquette.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his hands; they get a lot done, not just for his butler duties, but during his alone time with you. Absolutely weak for his partner’s back - he loves the way it arches - he finds its unique shape beautiful.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

This man does not like making messes, but this is the exception. He doesn’t mind cumming inside you, but he prefers cumming on your body, whether it’s your face, back, stomach, etc. Facials may or may not be his favorite! 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Maybe not so secret to MC after their first few sexcapades, but Barbatos is quite the voyeur (you can’t blame him, all that time yearning for MC as they lived with seven demon bros, only able to sneak glances at them...)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s a fast learner (in thanks to serving prince of the Devildom) and adept at finding out what his partner likes, so despite his lack of previous partners he has no qualms pleasing them. It’s only apparent, his lack of experience, when you try to take the lead and he doesn’t know what to do when he’s not in control in the bedroom. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Barbatos will never admit it, but missionary. It’s so intimate and he loves being so close to his partner; he likes watching their facial expressions.  

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Can go either way. But by default, he’s a pretty serious person. He loosens up more with you as time goes on, but during giggly sex you’re doing most of the laughing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Just like the rest of his appearance, he keeps things tidy and on a semi-regularly basis trims his hair. I don’t think manscaping is the proper term to use, he sees no problem with body hair and isn’t uncomfortable with it, he just dislikes when things get unruly.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Not very talkative unless you’re nervous and he wants to make you feel relaxed, then he’ll be sure to whisper lots of compliments and leave soft kisses on your neck and chest. Lots of lingering touches and eye contact. The foreplay begins way before you’re in the bedroom, whether it’s a cliché candlelit dinner or back massage or drawing you a bath filled with rose petals, he will treat you. He is a secret romantic. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) 

This man has so much self control he rarely feels the need to actually relieve himself in private. Granted, it was a lot easier before he met you. He will not jack off to you until you’ve been in a committed relationship for awhile, because otherwise he’d think he’s being vulgar. The few times he actually does get off though he prolongs the act, edging himself until he tires himself out, either by cumming or becoming disinterested (and soft), and falling asleep. Despite his personality, he never feels guilty about masturbating. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) 

Bondage/shibari - he loves tying his partner up, but when they’re hanging midair that’s his favorite 

Voyeurism - bonus points if MC is into exhibitionism and encourages him to watch 

Breathplay - his hands around your neck and he’s still wearing his white gloves, try choking him see what happens <3 

Sadism and Discipline, for the following his partner is on the receiving end - degradation, impact play (esp flogging w/whips and spanking w/ paddles or his hands), gagging, begging 

Breeding (or simulating it through roleplay) - this is the riskiest one and one he’s hesitant to bring it up, if it’s not your thing it’s not an issue but if it is well you’re lucky to say the least 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) 

One of the many unused rooms in Diavolo’s palace, or his bedroom. He’s not so adventurous about the where so much as the how 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) 

MC teasing him throughout the day with playful texts and sending suggestive pics, MC purposely acting bratty and insisting they be punished, MC flirting with him in the open esp around the brothers (but NOT around Diavolo). Sit on his lap and rub yourself against his thigh and beg a little, he'll pay attention to you eventually 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Basically anything with bodily fluids, with the exception of blood. And public sex is a no, he wouldn’t risk being caught. Would be turned off if MC suggested a threesome, but could be persuaded depending on with who. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) 

He likes both, but prefers giving. THE best service top when giving oral, ask him anything he’ll do it. Knows he’s rough when receiving so doesn’t ask for it much, but if you like being face fucked it’s a win-win 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) 

Barbatos has a lot of pent up stress and feelings, he’s rough. But he’s also not in a rush for his time with you to be over, and so he’ll draw it out with a slow pace if time permits, until you’re begging him to go faster. He will. He can be soft too, and when you’re both feeling more lax the sex is gentler and quieter. He still makes sure you cum. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) 

Sadly, sex with Barbatos is usually in the form of a quickie. He has like no free time so get used to it. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) 

He’s a butler yes, but he’s also a demon. He’s willing to entertain most of MC’s fantasies/suggestions as long as there is no real risk of being caught in the act. Funny enough, riskiest thing they’ve done together was fuck while MC was on the phone with one of the demon bros, at Barbatos’ request. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) 

When Barbatos says he can last all night, he means it. Won’t cum until you’ve orgasmed at least once. Lasts longer in doggy style because he can’t see your face and get turned on by your expressions. If you tire easily it’s okay, he’ll hold you up and keep up the pace <3 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) 

Ends up acquiring lots of toys to use on his partner, experimenting is the best way to have the best sex he reasons. He’s particularly fond of using vibrators on you, and keeping them in you after you leave his room; you know those vibrators that can be controlled by remote or phone, yah you can bet he’ll randomly up the intensity. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

If you’ll let him, he’ll tease you till you’re crying. He knows how to make you beg, beg for more, beg for less. He’ll make fun of you for whining, but it drives him to tease you longer. King of orgasm denial and edging, be careful. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) 

He’s quiet by nature, but his shallow breaths are so pretty, and the unexpected grunts when you push back against him in doggy style in between him fucking you are everything. If you somehow convince him to bottom or get pegged, he’ll whimper for you and bite his lips trying to stifle his moans. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) 

This man has a forked tail please pay special attention to it (aka shove it down your throat), you’ll be rewarded! 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) 

Just girthy and long enough to give you that nice full feeling that takes time to adjust before he can start pounding into you. Will almost always finger you beforehand to prep you for his size, since demon dicks are quite dissimilar to humans’ and are on the larger side. His size came as a welcome surprise the first time you saw it because it seemed unexpected from someone so modest 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) 

Oh he yearns for you, your body, to touch you, but he’ll never beg for sex. In fact, it’s MC that finally brings it up and initiates it. Could honestly probably go without it, but why would he now that he has the most wonderful partner!? 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

He’s used to long nights at work (aka helping Diavolo carry out another dumb prank on some poor soul, filing paperwork, or something more morbid) so he won’t immediately fall asleep even though he’s tired. He falls asleep only after you have. He likes to watch you slowly drift off, and it’s these moments he knows he’s in deep. He’s actually fallen for a human. On these nights he dreams.  

[goldenlaquer]

Could I request some general headcanons for the Kiheitai (including Nizou), like how do they get along with each other, how they spend their free time etc. Unfortunately Gintama didn't show us a lot of Kiheitai interactions. Wishing you all the best for your blog!

 I gotchu, anon. The Kiheitai faction has got to be one of the more underrated aspects of Gintama for sure. Thanks so much for your words!

Kiheitai Headcanons:

Kijima Matako:

If you got something to say to her face, make it sweet and short, or you’ll be staring down the business ends of her revolvers. Unless you are Takasugi Shinsuke, of course. But doubly so if your name is Takechi Henpeita.

With a quick temper and happy trigger fingers, Manko Matako should be on anyone’s list of whom not the cross, but within the Kiheitai, this means plenty of entertainment between missions and during space travel. As a result, often poked and prodded. 

She’s mostly chill with Bansai, but he sometimes (unintentionally) pisses her off when he (unintentionally) insults her. 

Do not listen to that twin-bunned ape. She definitely takes care of her body and especially her underwear, because you never know when Shinsuke-sama might succumb to his urges and-! 

is weak to cute things. Weak. Oh, and sweet things as well. She tries to keep it a secret. She doesn’t want to be viewed as childish. Safe to say, everyone in the Kiheitai knows anyways. 

Her free time is spent trying to find Shinsuke-sama, indulge in her mentioned vices, and kill Henpeita. 

Takechi Henpeita:

For the last time, “I am not a lolicon, I am a feminist.”

The one guy everyone loves to hate. 

If you think he only cosplays Takasugi then you are wrong. Matako, Bansai, Nizou. He even cosplays the Yorozuya trio (he loves cosplaying Kagura ofc) 

This hobby unfortunately is the main cause for all the beatings he takes, courtesy of Matako and Bansai. 

Speaking of beatings, he takes straight-up insults like a champ. Literally anything you say does not seem to faze him.

If Henpeita doesn’t want to be found, Henpeita won’t be found. Poof. But pissing Matako is so fun so you might find him by her at most times. The sibling dynamic is strong with them.

The thing is, when the going gets tough, the Kiheitai knows he’s got their back with his quick-thinking and skilled strategy. Despite all his creep tendencies and annoying habits, they can trust him with their lives. 

As for free time… well, whatever you think this man does in his free time might definitely be true. But BUT, despite what others may think, he actually does do serious things, like planning strategies, missions, emergencies and… err… other serious stuff. 

Kawakami Bansai:

this dude is just so naturally funny. Like, it doesn’t work if he’s trying, because the jokes are so terrible and dumb. 

I swear Bansai is intelligent, but he is the mastermind at interpreting things the wrong way, like he doesn’t understand the nuances of certain social situations.  

“Want to go out with me?” “Sure, where do you want to go?”

His shamisen playing is on point. But that fact and him being a night-owl causes a lot of complaints. No one wants to hear it at three in the morning.

Bansai looks out for Matako in and out of the battlefield, regardless of whether Takausugi orders it or not. He actually does like Henpeita, finds him funny and respects his prowess, but also likes mauling him with his shamisen lol

Does not get enough respect for his side job. Excuse me, being a producer for top-tier idols is his main. Being a Kiheitai assassin is just his side job.

really, not many in the Kiheitai care about his musical aptitude, except Shinsuke and Henpeita, who likes to discuss Enka. 

Nothing really special about his free time. He uses it for finishing the latest Otsuu single or finding a nice remote spot to just chill with his headphones. 

Okada Nizou:

He maintains a distance from the other members. Small talk here and there, nothing personal. Maybe some disparaging remarks too

Just business, y’all. Just business. 

Obscene amount of gel is needed to maintain than signature grey locks. In fact, he has a whole regimen. 

Might or might not think of himself as a silver fox. 

He’s prideful. God bless the new recruit who thinks he can make fun of the poor old blind man. He’ll prove you so wrong, you wouldn’t even know what happened until your head hits the floor and you’re staring up at Nizou.

“Not so bad for an old, blind man, eh?”

Remember when Nizou almost kills Matako? Yeah, they’re not on good terms.

Henpeita is probably the only one cheeky enough to playfully mess with Nizou and get way with it.

His free time: honing his blade and touching up his hair.

Takasugi Shinsuke:

Again, It’s business. He maintains the superior-subordinate relationship to a T. He doesn’t disclose personal thoughts/feelings or even small talk to the others. They don’t really mind. They all deeply respect him. 

Takasugi is always moving forwards. He doesn’t like lingering anywhere for too long. Doesn’t like growing attachments and sentiments. This means its kind of rare for him to meet up with the all the members when they aren’t on the run or travelling through space. 

Have a problem with him? He doesn’t care. Do your job right, or he’ll have a problem with you. 

That is, he’s more lenient to people who are competent and important to his goals.

Rare as it may be, there are times when he indulges his time with the members. Drinking and eating alongside them after an important mission goes particularly well and he’s in the right mood to be socializing with the others. 

He sometimes stays and listens to Bansai’s playing, even picking up an instrument and dueting with him. Shinsuke can appreciate fine music. 

Dry humor dude. You might see a hint of smirk if someone tells a very good joke. But even that disappears before anyone can process it. 

He ignores Matako’s fangirl-ing. It’s surprising that he’s so patient with her. He also tolerates Henpeito’s cosplay. It can be convenient when he wants to make a quick escape. 

Free time: doesn’t have any. Every moment is spent planning, planning, and planning.

All in all, the Kiheitai are a rough crowd, brought together by the one and only Takasugi Shinsuke, but I love them anyways. 

[swissmissficrecs]

Do we have any soulmate au recs for Johnlock?

Reply: I have a separate #soulmates tag, which has (currently) 3 pages of recs including several lists from other people so you should check that out too. Here are the individual fics I’ve recced on the topic:

Soulmates

A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird, Engazed (152K, E, Johnlock)Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?

Balance by Laur (13K, E, Johnlock)Each universe was like an intricate game of cat’s cradle, or a complicated blanket of crochet, billions of threads interweaving and crossing and tangling. Some threads never touched, never even came close, but when one thread was plucked the entire fabric quivered in reaction.

Breathe by StoneWingedAngel (21K, T, Gen)Sherlock knows he has to die. He knows that his job is going to be dangerous, long, exhausting; that he’s going to get damaged. And so, desperate and alone, he gives John his soul, little knowing the consequences will be enough to drive them both to breaking point.

Colors by Quesarasara (140K, E, Johnlock, Viclock)Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys.When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color.We’re all searching for the person who brings color to our lives.John and Sherlock are no exception.

Empathy by Blind_Author (35K, T, Johnlock)John is an empath.  Which isn’t nearly as much fun as it sounds.  Most of the time, it’s not even useful.

For the First Time and the Thousandth Time by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (22K, M, Johnlock)Injured in a mysterious shooting, Sherlock is sent to a safe house to recover while Mycroft tracks down his assailant. The house, hidden deep in the countryside, is old and drafty, and – according to rumors – haunted by a English solider wounded in World War 1. A series of strange events soon has Sherlock questioning his firm disbelief in the supernatural, past lives, and true love.

Gifts from the Sea series by patternofdefiance (19K, E, Johnlock)“A few weeks ago I would have thought you were impossible,” Sherlock begins, walking into the kitchen in his blue robe, and John – not quite catching on – wants to scoff and argue, No, actually, you are impossible, but then Sherlock continues: “But now I’d say you are improbable.”

Heart’s Desire by 88th Parallel (20K, G, Johnlock and Jolto)Reeling after a tragic loss, John Watson is surprised when he finds love again. After a lifetime of illness, Sherlock Holmes finally feels his heart truly beat for another.But as they move toward something more serious, an unbelievable truth is revealed that threatens to break both their hearts for good.

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (144K, E, Johnlock)In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he’s destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Serendipity by Calais_Reno (18K, T, Johnlock)A bit of New York Christmas fluff, based on the 2001 movie.

The Adventure of the Blackened Band by RosiePaw (30K, M, Johnlock)John remembered how Sherlock’s head tucked down to hold his instrument, how the sleeve of his bow arm drew up just a bit, just enough to reveal the band of black pigmentation encircling his wrist…In which John and Sherlock may or may not be soulmates, and this may or may not matter.

The Low Road by Jupiter_Ash (57K, E, Johnlock)The last thing Sherlock remembers is shooting up in his university room in Cambridge. Now he’s miles away, in the middle of nowhere, trapped with a man who wants to have sex with him. Where is he? What’s going on? And more importantly, who the hell is John Watson?The game is on.But what happens when the other player seems to know you better than you know yourself?

The Omega Sutra by Ghislainem70 (275K, E, Johnlock, Mystrade, Sherlock/OMC)  In an Omegaverse/Angels & Demons AU, Sherlock Holmes has a secret life. John Watson shouldn’t want to be part of it.  But they’ll go through heaven and hell to keep each other.  Johnlock and Mystrade caught up in the eternal battle of angels and demons. 

What I Forgot to Tell You by azriona (9K, M, Johnlock, Viclock, John/OFC)On average, a person will have ten soulmates throughout their lifetime.  But that’s the funny thing about averages.  There’s always those for whom they don’t apply.

(Also, as an aside, I find it interesting that my fic duet tattoo AU, Imagines Moti, is often recced on other people’s soulmates lists. I didn’t intend it them to be soulmates in that, but I guess it can be interpreted that way.)