#there’s no meaningless tomorrow ^^
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Do you have favorite child/children.

(Joke question btw lol :3)
Nah, I love them all equally. ^^
#tho they don’t interact with me much anymore#I love them and cherish them#thanks to them#there’s no meaningless tomorrow ^^#anomaly speaks#v4lluvsst0n3#my sweet daughter!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
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i see a lot of people say zoro doesnt smile or laugh anymore after timeskip but i also see people saying the opposite is true. but like. can someone show me a timeskip zoro that is smiling and laughing WITHOUT it being related to booze or murder and isnt some evil sinister smirk. i WANT to be proven wrong is the thing, i want it to just be that i skipped a manga panel and me being blinded by my pts bias. but whenever people counter the "zoro doesnt smile/laugh anymore" thing they just use pictures of him smiling just cause hes drinking. which like. is worse. tbh,
#(guy whos desperately procrastinating on studying for midterm tomorrow at midnight voice) this is stupid and meaningless so ill delete later#yes im a hater but im an open minded and flexible hater#chat
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Technically you can't really call is a stupid decision if you wanted to do it for a few hours, right?
#morningtalks#Sent a message to my crush (at three am. She's used to my hours) asking if she has a neat picture of her cat I could draw#Very meaningless message. She sends a picture I'll draw it and yay#Just kindof scared because I should probably not be trying to interact with her (it's too soon and I should take some time for myself)#But I am bad at that and she changed her pfp and she's been on the front of my mind way too much lately#(like I had a kindof insane dream about her last night and all)#This should be a safe and simple interaction though so hopefully it'll go well#Anyways. See you guys tomorrow night for the regretposting lmao#I'll finish a thing for Latin and then go to sleep#It'll be after sunrise though but lol. The sun rises way too early for me to be out before
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My family just had to put my sister’s childhood cat down :( i didn’t even like him that much but im still pretty sad….
#truly has not been my week. got shingles. cat died. one of the sisters at work is actively dying and will probably be dead by tomorrow.#im dogged by an inescapable sense of the futility and meaningless of life + constant fear of death#idk man#tw death#tw pet death#which isn’t to say its all bad!#i made a pasta dish im enjoying a lot#I just got a nice dresser and finished transferring all my clothes (which involved getting rid of a TON of stuff i don’t wear)#and now things are more organized and easier to access#I have some fun projects coming up at work#but ougghh still. duality of man or whatever#everyone else is asleep now so ig i will just blog abt my emotions#and i don’t keep a diary so its nice to have a way to keep track of these things#thoughts
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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We feeling like nothing tonight. ✌
#this morning was alright and I was vibing and had some fun ideas I doodled.#buuuut eugh I'm tired and all my fun interests feel really far away and I can't do the things I feel like I should be able to do#I know this is the kind of situation where I have to accept defeat for the day and just go to sleep as soon as possible#hope I feel better tomorrow etc etc but. I don't like accepting defeat. :(#*text#why do I almost always feel more zoned out when I get MORE sleep? That's really unintuitive#I keep wanting to do More like maybe I can try harder and just draw things out a little more and fix the problem.#but that just wastes time. I seem to be doing everything wrong. I don't know what I need or want right now.#that's a lot of words which are likely incomprehensible or at the very least meaningless to everyone. sorry chat.
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I think I need a Vaggie tat
#mental illness that can only be cured with getting ink and piercings#my next tat is supposed to be a dinosaur or a tiger#some animal that means something to me#but the next after that is a harlivy tat#and THEN I think Vaggie can next … on my calf probably#she’s lower on the list but I’m contemplating her having a spot at all#abbes posting#random meaningless words on your screen#I’m mostly talking about this so I don’t forget tomorrow when I think of birthday tattoos…#whatever happens harlivy does admittedly have priority (they’ve been in my head for two years now)
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i need to wriiiiite i’m having withdrawals agagagagsgwhs
#tomorrow ? hopefully.#so many projects i need to finish but i just want to write meaningless fluff rn augh
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my brain feels like fucjing sludge
#send help#if i fill the tags up with meaningless junk at what point do people stop reading?#if i give vague details numerous apologies what will happen#notbing nothing silence#the mental illness is mental illnessing#nothing diagnosed but i dont need a diagnosis to tell me somethings wrong with me#got work in two hours. I shouldve slept.#i shouldve aha#yeah#augh#why get therapy when i can liveblog my descent into madness#its my monthly breakdown. watch. tomorrow i get my period and i watch the blood pour and hope it never stops
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Well that shouldn’t have been a pen but it’s fine not like the referee had a video assistant that could look over the footage and correct his wrongdoing
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i miss her.
#new writing tomorrow i guess#its worse this time its definitely more vent-y and less poety i don't like it that much but well i don't like HER that much#that is a lie i am very much so “in love” with her if that even was a thing and not a meaningless set of words#more writing for rei to read i guess woo hoo#i hope you enjoy my terrible rant about this stupid ass bitch
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oh my god I need to move out so fucking bad
#i need every member of this fuckass family to explode so i never have to see any of these people ever again#theyre actually putting me down tomorrow so this is meaningless
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i want to enter a portal at the end of a dark street that leads to nowhere. I hope nowhere is calm and quiet. I hope I can just lay down and forget about everything. I want the void to take me.
is it just me or
#im good#meaningless thoughts#everything is temporary and useless on this earth#except maybe nature#nature is beautiful#nature is the only thing I can really adore#nature is the only thing I would miss#I hope heaven has nature in it#random shit#idk man#yapping#thoughts#idk how to tag this#late night thoughts#i dont know what has gotten into me#writer problems#i have to write it#i have to do hw#i have to wake up tomorrow#please at least one person interact so I dont feel as crazy
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aaaaaahhhhhhhh
#today's meaningless yelling to make the brain go#is so that i can put my headphones on charge#and then reorganise myself into the living room for research purposes#and also make a lemsip cs i feel like a headcold that's only marginally above death#it's not a headcold it's a tooth infection but y'know#dentist is tomorrow fingers crossed he'll give me antibiotics on the cheap
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Spent all afternoon with Friend: +10000 mood points
#that one pic. ''the world is meaningless the pain never ends and darkness is eternal'' ''OMG. FRIEND''#i hadn't seen her in months... and tomorrow i'm seeing her again And another friend too...... uaaaa#under unfortunate circumstances (a degree party with someone we dislike attending too) but uaaaaaaaaaa#mytext
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suddenly felt like absolute shit out of nowhere, drew this in like 10-20 minutes
#digital art#eyestrain#bright colors#probably gonna look into getting a therapist tomorrow tbh. im sick of feeling like shit out of nowhere#what happened in that apt should not be having this much of a hold on us#because its. really meaningless and i dont get why we care this much abt it#except we know exactly why we care so much abt what happened cause we had our already-fragile trust issues absolutely destroyed there#and now making and keeping friends feels really terrifying BUT ITS FINE we'll be fine
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