#there's just. an insane amount of drama. all of the time. constantly. i don't want to be there for that. and it's impossible to avoid | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

takemebacktowheniwassane · 1 year ago

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i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

#why did I spend 20 minutes typing this #rant #whizzer brown #falsettos #marvin falsettos #charlotte falsettos #cordelia falsettos #hhhh

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flower-boi16 · 1 year ago

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Do you think this fandom can still improve despite everything? Is it Viv and Spindlehorse's fault that this fandom is problematic or there is deeper root cause? Despite the amount of negativity both hh and hb recieved, is it still possible to listen to fans who give constructive criticism and improve both shows? Many fans often say something like"The Spindlehorse's crew don't want to listen to critics because there are too many bad faith criticism and hate" or "Those critics don't have the vision of the creators so their advices are invalid." I think both sides of this fandom are overly aggressive to whatever happened. It must have something behind it.

I think the reason why the fandom reacts so poorly to criticism is a mix of several factors:

These shows are fairly popular, the more popular something is the bigger the fanbase will be. And, likewise, some fans would be very defensive when it comes to criticism.

The batshit insane twitter users and fake outrage being confused with the actual critiques people have of the shows. I'll admit, early critical videos were...not great to say the least (cough cough Pkrussel cough cough), and many of Viv's past controversies are admittedly dumb. However, there are real issues people have with these shows and Vivziepop, however, because of all the past controversies with Viv being over-blown, fans lump these real and valid critiques in with the fake Twitter outrage, causing this confusing mess.

Vivziepop's reaction to critiscm. She directly dismisses critiques people have of her shows and pretty clearly spends a bit too much time on online discourse about her shows. Viv IS aware of the critiques people have of her shows but she has this very immature response to criticism just looking at her twitter, and, this does translate to the fandom as well.

Drama channels such as AyyLmao and Iox constantly defending Viv and her shows. AyyLmao is a fairly big channel and a lot of his videos are about controversies surrounding Viv. Pretty much all of these tend to be heavily biased as AyyLmao instantly takes Viv's side, as in several of his videos he deliberately chooses to lump in the actual critiques of the shows with the deranged Twitter users online, which contributes to the second problem I mentioned above. This can be seen with his hatedom video where he says that most of the criticism at least on Twitter isn't "real criticism" and "just hate disguised on such". Notice how he says that at least on Twitter the criticism is just hate. He's deliberately making it look like the critical community is just a bunch of deranged Twitter users who just hate Viv cuz they are jealous or something, when looking at sites such as Reddit, Youtube, Tumblr, etc you'll see people with ACTUAL PROBLEMS with the shows, by AyyLmao's ignoring that in order paint the critical community as a toxic hell-hole. He pretends to be neutral in the video but he clearly is biased with how he paints the critics here, as he only focuses on this one site just to make it look like the critical community is just an annoying vocal minority on Twitter. and because of that, the fandom views the critical community as just that; just an annoying vocal minority of Twitter users who shouldn't be taken seriously.

The fandom just refusing to engage with people's critiques because they can't handle criticism of their favorite shows. That's pretty obvious.

I don't think the fandom will get better any time soon given these factors I just mentioned. Until Viv learns to accept criticism, until Viv drama channels stop defending her bullshit, and until the fandom actually engages with people's critiques rather than sending death threats...ya no this fandom is still going to be awful.

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss criticism #hazbin hotel criticism #spindlehorse critical #spindlehorse criticism

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yin-shimo · 6 months ago

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Addressing Things

It’s been years now (crazy, I know) but this will be my only post about it all.

> read more for talk related to drama <

Disclaimer: I am not looking to start anything or fight anyone, so please, dont harass the people mentioned or send me asks shit-talking anyone. I havent talked about any of this, again, in literal years and I don't care to make this a new debate. I don't waste time leaving asks on anyone's blogs. If i leave an ask its only to my friends or people I like.

First off, Hi occultsimblr admin, I’m sorry you felt the need to delete your server and tumblr account because of me, genuinely. That’s not something I wanted. I’m okay with having been banned from the server. As much as it’s insisted by others I don’t, I do respect when boundaries are made. My only problem with the ban was 1) it occurred without proper research or private messaging me to talk about things 2) the ask being answered publicly where it would further reach people without proper context. I didn’t send anyone to harass you— my friends are their own people and the only thing asked for was an apology, nothing more, nothing less, but I can understand why it must have felt overwhelming, so I apologize for that on their behalf. If it’s any consolation, I'll just avoid ever joining simblr related servers again.

Secondly, let’s discuss my ‘violent’ behavior and harassment. I was…19 and reasonably upset by insane amounts of disgusting anons and constantly being vagued about in regards to fiction at the time. Not to mention only a few months prior to that i was being harassed over cc (unrelated to all this- but I mean i was literally being called a necrophile on repeat in asks). Was my behavior a little over the top? yes and I should have refrained from insults, but what’s done is done.

Third, since I've become an adult, I haven't spoken to any minors online nor have I ever pushed or forced any minors to look at anything sexual made by me or anyone else.

Anyway, in the end, my only problems with all of this is that:

1) the reason this narrative began is because I posed a sim… as a character (who is 17)… making a face like he does in the series. Shockingly, I don’t get off to that face or the character lol. I knew it as an iconic expression he does and that it would easily be recognizable as said character by other BlueL-cke fans, that’s all. 2) The want for censoring and managing what others do online. My blog has always been 18+. Yes, at one point i said if it was just for CC then sure, minors could like my (cc!) posts and I regret that, but I am a grown adult and it’s not my job to monitor minors and what they do. Teens have the mental capacity to avoid 18+ spaces and the only adults that are responsible for said kids are well… who would’ve guessed, their parents! and only their parents! not the random stranger online. The only ones to blame are negligent parents that failed to provide proper internet responsibility and monitoring.

Being uncomfortable with things, sexual or not, is normal and to be expected. There’s lots I'm uncomfortable with that I see people I follow post, but my immediate thought is not ‘gross, do they jerk off to that?’ or ‘I need to tell them to stop posting that because it makes me feel bad‘. What I do is, ignore it! scroll past it. Yes, things can trigger traumatic memories but the only one responsible for that is ourselves, especially as adults.

*** Personal trauma talk: At my worst, there were large numbers of women I couldn't even look at, online, or in person, if they reminded me in any way of my abusive ex without going into a full blown anxiety attack for hours, so what did i do? look away, as hard as that was. and if that’s too vague, there were plenty of stories i would read that would remind me of my own traumatic experiences and because they were still so raw in my mind, i couldn’t stomach continuing them, but i didn’t comment how awful the work is or how harmful it is or the people who enjoy the story(s), etc, because inherently? it isn’t harmful, even if for me personally it was. It was my job to avoid it without making it everyone else’s problem. ***

so what i’m saying is, yeah, it’s okay to dislike me, and dislike all the ‘disgusting’ things i’m into (which, can any of you even make a list of what these terrible things are ? 🔵🔒 render aside?), but why is there the need to paint me as this awful person? If I remind you of anyone else that actually has harmed people, that’s your personal bias and something to be worked on just as I had to work on my own traumas that were triggered by normal people. It’s okay to block me and I’m happy to know you’re exercising your free will and self preservation, but please leave me alone.

Lastly, for the love of god, please stop worrying about what I may or may not be jerking off to, it’s creepy and I’m a real person unlike these fictional characters who can’t feel uncomfortable or harassed. Please realize how one should treat and see human beings is a completely different matter to the treatment and view of objects. Killing animals or people in games does not mean you would actually kill a real dog or stranger on the street.

brief mention: Xuehe, my 15 y/o OC who existed long before this nonsense? Yeah, his character-sheet render is based on Olivia Rodrigo’s “Sour” album cover, so maybe leave him out of the ‘proof’ i’m a creep lol. it’s insane to equate tongue out = something sexual and maybe you need to figure out if the call is coming from inside the house with that view.

I understand a lot of you will take this as me being disingenuous or avoiding responsibility, but please try to grasp the idea that I too can be reasonable and serious haha. I also would like to apologize to everyone completely unaware of this matter, but maybe this will give you the needed information to decide whether or not to block me as well.

Anyway, lets ring in the upcoming new year by quietly leaving this all behind us <3

#will i regret posting this? probably #but my bf is at work so no one can stop me #xianrambles

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vinziel · 1 year ago

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Concept for my own TDAU oc

May I present to you my own TDAU oc. Vinzie The Offensive Magician! (I can't draw for shit, so for now I'll just explain his design, most details in his design represent something, I'll make an official drawing of his design probably very later on) Now they're a troll with Bluish skin and darker blue hair, their blue hair is mostly covered by his magician hat! And you guessed it they wear the typical black and red magician clothing! They have bruises on their arms and a black eye on their face, with noticeable tear streaks on his cheeks. The part of their hair that isn't covered by his hat is messy and clearly hasn't been combed. Heavy eyebags. He posts on all social media platforms you can think of. Under the name of @offensive_magician_official display name being "Vinziel" his real name (no this isn't a self insert. I just used my own name because of how unique it is). He is very active on his social medias and constantly gets into dramas (on purpose of course) purposefully causing discourse.

Lore Time!! He's non-binary using He/They pronouns and is gay! Now, his parents were very absent when he was a kid, and full on abandoned him in his teens, he was treated like a ghost, no one would notice him, everyone would walk past him. Once he got on steady footing and had a sustainable job, he dated the one and only John Dory! Now John Dory was only dating Vinz to experiment if he's gay or not but it didn't even feel like Vinz was a partner to him since he was pretty much so focused on Brozone, they don't hang out or talk much and if they did John only talks about Brozone, they ended things on a sour note (Mostly on Vinz's side, John didn't feel much after the breakup), now this lead Vinz on a downward slope, no one paid attention to them, not even his ex-partner. Unlike John though their strive for fame and atteu is Self-destructive and not destructive to others.

This led Vinz to do offensive comedy using magic tricks. He'd offend EVERYONE, leftist, rightist, conservatives, the gays, the old and the young, the communist, the capitalist. Nothing was off limits for them to offend. He didn't care about the death threats, he didn't care about the harassment and assault he'd experience in the streets because someone recognized him, ATTENTION IS ATTENTION in their books. The only person keeping him from getting killed was Bruce who was in good terms with them, since whenever John would leave Vinz alone to do Brozone stuff and basically forget he's even there, Bruce would be there to keep him company. Basically he's the reason he isn't completely insane. In real life he's actually very nice and caring, though he is mentally unstable. His online personality is the one where he is offensive.(though that won't last long since his online personality will eventually consume his actual one but for now let's imagine it hasn't). For his relationships Bruce is the only person he's actually close with, and one of the only people to know him personally. (fun fact he once appeared on Satin and Chenille's show, which only lasted 3 minutes before he got kicked out due to the amount of offensive jokes he was making about the twins). In terms of love life they are single, and probably shouldn't even be in a relationship with how unstable he is. He's very good at masking what he feels which is why so many people hate him because they think he's really serious about what he says. He does have some defenders online saying "it's just a joke" or "y'all are snowflakes" the people who defend them are people who think "Joke about everything or joke about nothing" mentality. His offensiveness doesn't stop at jokes by the way. He'd actually do stuff that makes people hate him even more.

Now explaining my choices in his design. Now why a magician you may ask and not a jester or a clown. Well no explanation I just wanted them to be a magician. Their color schemes in their hat and suit are Black and Red. Red represents passion, they're passionate about what they do, he loves the attention, Black means mastery, he's able to offend anyone and anything. The tear streaks on his cheeks represent the endless crying he does off camera, the messy hair explains his messy life of being offensive to gain attention. The bruises represent the assaults and harassment he experiences on a daily basis(yes the way he offends people is JUST that bad) and sometimes it represents his own destructiveness to himself. The blue skin and hair represent his pathetic and sad life. The eyebags represent his lack of sleep thinking of new and unique offensive jokes (this guy makes the most creative offensive joke, he sometimes reuses them but it's mostly new and very creative to the point sometimes people would be more shocked than offended, when a chinese president would die he'd make a joke like "Looks like the dog had rabies").

Anyways hoped you enjoyed my little yapping session of my OC. Will probably add more lore if I think of more.

@hostilemuppet hope you enjoy :>

#trolls #troll oc

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theangryjikooker · 2 years ago

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Saw your username. Resonated with my current mood so I'm gonna vent at you. Sorry in advance✨️✨️✨️

I was just on Insta to mindlessly scroll, as you do, and within seconds I saw a reel about the whole "Tae recording at JK's". Which. you know. Cool. Sweet.

But I'm so tired and annoyed that this supposed collab (which why wouldn't they promote that?) has already more Army up in arms than Letter did. It's already stirred more goddamn shipping in the "neutral/ot7" spaces, perpetuating the same narrative, somehow. It's gonna create a whole new wave of Tkkers being self-righteous, after they dragged JM through the mud once again for a hpb picture.

Tae namedropping JK is just "more" to everyone than Jikook spending quality time together.

Letter could've been recorded at JKs or JMs for all we know.

And I know, I'm sounding like a petulant insane child, but I just wish sth would shut Tkkers up properly because they are insufferable and just everywhere. Jikookers are very over the top too (the wristwatch? Really?), but since they don't get exposure except to those already looking it up, it's not as in your face.

And, because I already am digging a grave anyway: what the fuck is up with it always being Tae that does something to further Tkkers. I don't hope he does that intentionally - he seems like a good egg - but his track record is irking me. Randomly mentioning JK in lives, starting a live in JK's home w/o him knowing, now this whole thing. Maybe I'm just annoyed that if Jimin did any of that, he'd be accused of every crime under the sun.

Tkkers really know how to take the fun out of shipping. At least for me. Most other shippers are just chill and a usual amount of delusional. Maybe because those not shipping tkk usually know what a real relationship between adults is actually like, while tkkers only know toxicity and love triangles and drama from shitty books and shows.

The fandom as a whole is comprised of a majority who bias Taehyung and Jungkook—not always together, but there’s significant overlap. That’s the overarching issue, with Jimin being the only other person in the group who has an equally substantial relationship with Jungkook, hence the artificial ship wars.

Personally, both Tkkrs and Jkkrs have taken the fun out of shipping. As weeks and months go by, I just don’t see how any of the recycled arguments and delusional takes that’s constantly peddled by shippers are worth my time or energy. None of what’s actually happening is the boys’ fault. If any of the BTS members want to drop names at random, they should be allowed to, but the people making it into a bigger deal than it should be are their fans.

I understand why people in the same boat as you get frustrated, but at the same time it’s all a bit silly. The less engagement I have with fandom and, specifically, shipping spaces, the more peace I have as a participant. You didn’t ask for advice, but I think it’s a solid takeaway for anyone already pulling their hair out at lame discourse.

#TAJ asks #anon submission #not jikook #bts shipping #bts fandom

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tellmerp · 3 months ago

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To be honest. There are moments where I miss Roleplay as a whole. Being able to muse, enjoy time with friends I've been able to make OOC, be it while playing games or simply existing together and enjoying each other's vibe.

The whole social aspect of the site can be quite nice if you find the right people for you.

But with the amount of hate, the back stabbery, sharing screenshots, talking shit about people, and eventually getting to the point that you're either afraid that your name is going to end up in a blog like this, or those hate pages that people occasionally still make, who point you out for simply being part of a group of people, or something like that... It's honestly mindboggling to me how so much negativity is around a place that's supposed to be so creative.

Sure, nobody is perfect. People make mistakes as well, or sometimes you get pointed out for being guilty by association. And there's also certainly a case to be made for those who take the whole fantasy aspect of it all a bit too seriously. Like someone has pointed out before already.

People being in other people's business like it's more than normal to do so. (Seriously, why does it matter to you if someone is shipping with someone else? If you're not even a part of it all?)

It's giving me the same kind of vibe that people are always angry about when it comes to the LGBTQ community. (My apologies if that abbreviation is outdated. It has changed quite a few times that I don't know which one is correct anymore. But support nonetheless!)

Love is love, be it fictional or non-fictional. And while there are of course bad apples around, they are around everywhere in any other sort of community as well. Gaming, crocheting, even the occasional book club, or whatever you fancy, honestly.

Everyone's so busy with everyone else. And every piece of writing shared feels like a popularity contest. And it's sometimes really hard to simply be able to focus on yourself.

The high school mentality, the toxicity, the feeling of needing to look over one's shoulder just to be safe, the insane amount of limitations some people have to put up just to be able to enjoy a hobby. It's crazy to really think about it all. Hell even a place like this, still ongoing. Despite the large amount of people complaining, etc.

Why do the majority of you guys feel the need to constantly bring others down? Or feel the need to trash some of the people who have been mentioned here more than once?

Are you bored. Or did they hurt you? Did they track you down? Or is it all just hearsay, and rumours being shared, for the sake of hoping someone might believe it?

It's tiring, and honestly all of this has made me want to leave the site more than once. And I do have a pretty thick skin. There's not a lot that really gets to me. My friends list is pretty small as well, and I try to stay out of drama as much as possible.

But boy, does it get hard sometimes to just hop on the site, and enjoy yourself.

Then it's stuff about real life politics. Support this person and you're racist, support that person and you're against America. What about those who don't even live in the United States? Don't hear them bitching about their politics on site much, do you? It was a big thing when the Queen of England died, and of course the shit surrounding Ukraine.

But most of the time, it's Americans bitching about America.

Granted, the majority is of that place. But Jesus.. Just keep that shit away from a place like Roleplayer.me. It has no business there.

Same for the petty drama, the bullshit, the bullying, the high school mentality of some people.

Just block, and move on with your life.

Feel petty enough to do something? Do it once, get it out of your system, and then continue with your own happy life.

Seriously, some of you here.. Touch some grass. Read a book, go on a bingewatch of the Vampire Diaries, or start a new playthrough of Hogwarts Legacy, get kinky with your partner, and keep going until you don't know which way is up anymore. Do whatever you need to do, to blow off some steam and be able to just think clearly once more. It seems like you need it.

Writing is a hobby. And sometimes it's also not bad to take time away from said hobby to try something different. That way you can enjoy the writing aspect of it all again some more.

Be kind to one another. (And party on dudes)

It goes a lot further than all of this hate, and this pathetic cancel culture that we seem to be living in lately..

I'd sign my name. But I'm sure if I did, it would be dragged through the mud. So anonymous I stay.

Have a good one, everyone. And if you've read through all of this, and feel like you can relate? Have a cookie, you earned it.

Anyone else that just wants to laugh or figure out who I am? No cookie for you.

‎

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icharchivist · 2 years ago

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If you could spend a day with either Mari and Meg, Gabriel and Europa, Cupitan and Tristette or Katalina and Vira, which would you choose?

And for the gays, uhh. Lucifer and Sandalphon, Yurius and Albert, Lancelot and Vane and Aglovale and Tor

Which would be the least awkward to third wheel?

oh this is SO tough to answer are you kidding me.

for the lesbians, all of them would come with their amount of drama this would be terrible. Cupitan and Tristette would be too busy out-toxic-ing one another to really register me so it would probably be the most awkward because you'd be caught in their crossfire.

Katalina and Vira would eventually be fine if not for the fact i can sense Vira sending me subtle threats if i look at Katalina too long. Like we're eating and suddenly i get a kick under the table and i look at her and she's smiling at me and also holding her knife in a very suspicious way. Too stressful.

so it leaves Mari&Meg and Gabriel and Europa, both who have a major case of "ignoring everyone around them as long as they are dazing in each other's eyes. Mari has the most chance to eventually kill you if you look at Meg too much and if a threat happens Meg will go banana, so it kinda leaves Gabriel and Europa as the safest lesbians of the bunch + the possibility of Gabriel inviting you aren't zero.

... but because i love their level of insanity, i want to be with Mari&Meg and show Mari i'm her number one cheerleader. Please.

As for the gays well.

the only group among them that would really make you regret your stay could be Yurius and Albert out of the fact Yurius has a mad scientist streak, and with his lines with MC he loves to toy around with MC, so it feels like being in between those two will either have them be lovey dovey or Albert trying to stop Yurius from doing experiments later on.

For the rest of the pair, i know all too well what being a third wheel for Aglo and Tor is like and i don't know if i could stand it on the long run. It's just Aglovale constantly showering Tor with affection while sometimes giving him reproach because Tor didn't accept his gift and now they're fighting at the tea table because Aglovale wants to spoil Tor and he only turns to you to say "wouldn't you agree Tor needs to be spoiled?" while Tor is protesting, it would be unbearable.

Lancelot and Vane tend to be a good pair to hang out around, they're fun, they're sweet, they do try to involve other people in their whole thing... but sometimes they completely forget other people are around and they just start talking about their shared past and stuff and suddenly you feel like you're intruding despite the fact THEY invited you to start with--! Also it's important to note that when Vane is here Lancelot doesn't bother putting on a front anymore and it means that you will have to deal with the fact Lancelot is a teasing demon when he DOES pay attention to you, do you want to live like this.

Sandalphon and Lucifer meanwhile, well. They like their alone time for sure, and will be sooo lovey dovey this would be sickening to watch. But i'm inclined to think that while they can lose themselves in each other's eyes and everything, as long as you're not intruding (ie, if they invited you), they probably would be good host to you. You'd just need to deal with Lucifer waxing philosophy about the world and love and everything.

Mhmmmmmm so with all of that in mind it plays between Lancelot and Vane, and Sandalphon and Lucifer for me. The rest is too much.

But all of them would be awkward to thirdwheel and in this essay i.... already did but--

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous

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asterhaze · 2 years ago

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From this: https://www.tumblr.com/author-in-training-writes/170088791192/more-get-to-know-the-writer-asks

Red, Purple, Clear

First ask! Yay!

Red: What type of writer's block do you experience the most?

I admit I'm not familiar with the types of there's something official out there. What I experience the most is that I just don't feel like writing so I give up for an extended amount of time. When I was in high school I used to write copious amounts of Star Trek fanfiction with my friend, do roleplays, and show my comics and art to people who were interested. I constantly had feedback, constantly had someone looking forward or asking for the next thing, and now that I don't have that anymore I don't get any feedback from anyone that isn't myself. I am my biggest bully and the only voice I have the chance to listen to concerning my efforts. When the only voice I hear is "Good gracious, Aster. This is garbage. So and so is so much better." it is hard to push that aside even if I know deep down that I don't suck.

Purple: Which of your characters would become your sworn enemy?

Concerning Masterpiece (working title), the book I am writing, this question is so hard to answer. There is a lot of me in Glen and in Vlad despite them being polar opposites. I am my own worst enemy in real life but when I think of these two, while I know they'd drive me absolutely insane, I don't think I could hate them. Which poses the question of why do I hate myself in real life? But to answer the question of the prompt I would say Gabriel. In fact I hate all of the people associated with him, the whole damn clan.

Clear: Do your characters control where the story goes or do you maintain control?

I start with a problem that my characters need to solve. For instance, in another project, I came up with the idea of "An apparent suicide is being investigated on a spaceship well into the future. Why is it being investigated? Because this is the first attempt ever recorded in this race's history." This is genuinely as far as I go before I make my characters, start world building, coming up with extensive histories, and practice writing in that world with the main character.

Through this world building process, new characters emerge. Drama that I wouldn't have thought of pops up. I discover the antagonist of the story. Then I start actually writing my story, nudging my characters in that direction with a very firm hand, but allowing almost anything to happen. I want my story to develop naturally. With Masterpiece, I ended up with enough "darlings" or "treasured trash" for another book. So my official answer: As close to both as I can get without going off the rails in a bad way.

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #writerblr #writers #write #seriously feel free to tag me #thanks for the ask!#ask me anything #ask me questions #send me asks

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golbrocklovely · 2 years ago

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wow wee … if colby plays into the stuff with shea on purpose then that’s not really a good look on him. if I had a friend that constantly did shady things behind my back it would make me not want to trust them anymore. maybe colby is too nice, but still it’s wrong that someone is using him or his look to take advantage of many things involving him. I do not understand why colby would ever want to play these games with ppl like that. it sounds insanely exhausting. maybe he likes the mystery behind everything even though to a fans pov it’s kinda frustrating or weird. it kinda gives me fuckboy vibes in a way. now I don’t wanna say colby is a douche or anything because that’s being mean, but a man constantly playing these games with these girls he knows is just gross in my eyes. we can’t just blame shea or stas because he is also participating in this. what are your opinions on that? because it really leaves a sour taste in my mouth. maybe I’m wrong. if I am then please let me know. I just hate it when men play these little games with ppl I just think it’s very immature.

i think it's good to remember that we don't know the full situation. there are definitely a lot of moving parts to this whole thing that we don't know about and haven't seen, so a lot of what any of us feel is just a really big assumption. i don't think one party is the main villain or problem, i think all of them play a role in what we see and what we don't see, and the general issues that arise.

and while shea and stas are similar in a lot of ways they are also really different.

but since you are asking about my opinion, this is what i think based off of what i have seen and know (whether or not that's the whole truth is a different story altogether).

there is a lot of layers to this - a lot of which stem from colby and end up festering from the girls, so to speak. colby likes to stir the pot, that's been made clear for a while now. even more proof when he did stuff with amber and then apologized for it, only to do it again a year later with all those tiktoks they made. the difference is, amber isn't continuing the gag behind the scenes. and most importantly, colby is signing off on what gets posted with the two of them involved since he actively participated in it.

nonetheless, colby is a shit stirrer. but at the same time, he doesn't want to be talked about/doesn't like drama. so when he stirs the pot, he only wants it to happen for the amount of time he wants it, and then he wants it to stop. but the problem is, if you get the fandom riled up you don't get to decide when they stop being upset. and that happens time and time again. he likes the attention and he likes ppl talking about him; i mean, he is a social media person, that's kinda the whole nature around being one so i don't fault him for that. but when he gets tired of it, he wants it to stop immediately. but that doesn't happen, so he gets frustrated.

another issue with colby is that he has commitment issues and attachment issues, both of which he has admitted too. both of these stem from past bad experiences with love and continue to this day. the commitment issues cause him to be flaky towards women he is interested in and not go all the way into an actual relationship with them, even tho (from the outside) that is what it seems like they are in and what he wants. so he ghosts girls pretty frequently. and the attachment issues cause him to be clingy towards and constantly crawl back even if things are done.

so while he may not want to actually be in a relationship with certain women, he'll want all the things that come with a relationship without the label. but at the same time, he's scared to be with said women, so he's always one foot in the door one foot in the grave. he wants the girl to be into him, he's made that abundantly clear that he likes when the girls are really into/obsessed with him to some degree (at least to me). but the issues that follow are basically this - they end up wanting more (bc he seems to want more too), but then he gets uncomfortable with them wanting more and thus moves on. or the other option plays out - they play house for a bit, only for the girl to lose interest, and once she does he pretends to have never wanted it anyway and is already gone.

with all of this in mind, how does this play out with shea and stas?

shea is an interesting case since she is the original, the og, of all of this shit. they have been friends with one another for years now, since 2015/16. and as i've have speculated before, i think the reason why they are as close as they are is bc i think shea was there for him when his ex broke up with him way back when. i think her (and brennen) were the two ppl that kept him together bc him and sam were not in a good spot in their friendship (something they both admitted to) and sam was preoccupied with his new relationship with kat. colby was able to rely on shea for emotional support and brennen was there to be the single, fun guy friend to go partying with.

and i think bc of this, shea and colby grew really close with one another. the problem that arises is that to me, shea was in love with him. and as the years have gone by, i go back and forth between whether or not anything happened between the two of them - whether or not they were ever really a thing. bc shea likes to argue by either saying that her and colby were currently dating circa every year but the last two or so, or that colby liked her back then and she rejected him. for years, i used to argue that i don't think they ever were a couple, but now… i'm a bit on the fence. i think their deep connection can come across as one and has probably crossed some boundaries. do i think they ever called each other bf/gf and made it official? no. but i do think they had something going on at one point secretly, and now they're just friends with a muddy past.

the problem is, fans don't know that. so they read whatever's going on with them as either a 'will they won't they' or that they are secretly together. which is also why shea can get away with telling fans they are secretly a thing bc ppl already speculate it and think it to be true. plus if it's coming from her, why shouldn't they believe it? she's one of the parties involved.

however, this ends up making colby look like either the worse boyfriend ever or just a douchebag bc he's literally hooking up with other girls while shea is telling her goonies that they are basically ready to hit the courthouse (not really but you get my gist). i mean, prime example was when they did the most recently adventure buddies in 2020. shea's fans were talking about them finally being together again or finally getting together, but around that time colby was literally WITH someone else. so either he looks like a guy that can't keep his dick in his pants, or shea is a liar.

and while i think the first is true to some extent, the second is a fact regardless.

and the reason shea gets away with a lot of this stuff is for two reasons: one, colby truly does love her as a friend and allows most of this to happen bc he's never gonna see the negative side of a person he cares about and two, bc he likes teasing the fans too and her doing it probably goes mostly unnoticed by him. i think he knows to some extent the shit shea has done, but at the same time probably not all of it; mixed with the fact that i don't think he fully cares. bc nothing she has done has been heinous or really maliciously intended (for the most part, i'm assuming, to him). not to mention, most of the ppl shea has fucked with are either fans that adore her (so they forgive easily and don't make a big stink about it), fans that become haters (bc they're spreading negativity and that's a no-no to colby) that end up leaving the fandom, or are girls in his real life that he doesn't care to lose aka any of his hookups. none of the girls he's been with over the years were serious relationships, which is why shea can be his watch dog and loom over him and basically intimidate these girls bc he doesn't see them sticking around in the first place. and the only reason the shit that happened between amber and shea didn't become a bigger deal is bc amber is a grown adult woman, unlike shea who is still playing high school games, and probably doesn't fucking care what a random girl from the mountains has to say about her.

and after all of this, i still gotta talk about stas lol

so stas…. she's a very interesting tale. bc she did a lot of the same shit shea did: talking in gcs about colby, liking ship edits, posting content only of him and her (only behind a paywall), making content with him and her in it, ect. but the difference is - he actually put distance between him and her.

this alone, proves to me, that he never had feelings for stas. or was never interested in her more than platonically.

stas came into colby's life first back in 2019, but didn't become a prominent person until 2021, and then more so in 2022. from my understanding of what other anons have told me, stas has been talking about colby/snc since 2019, and has made that connection with fans way back when even tho she wasn't even close to snc, since at the time she was just known as kat's friend.

my guess to all of the shit that happened with stas is this: i think she had feelings for colby, and kat knew. kat then tried to pair her and colby up all the time during 2022 when the core four was a thing bc she wanted to help her out and wanted stas and colby to date. however, colby was already paying attention to another girl, six flags girl, and so he was never gonna be interested in stas. stas also came in around a time when shea and colby weren't doing so hot (shea complained about not being invited to their halloween party and then later the next year was liking comments on tiktok saying that fans ruined adventure buddies, so clearly they weren't doing too well. plus she also deleted comments about him from tiktoks.) and bc of that, he got close to stas and relied on her for emotional support. this further solidified her feelings for him, and while i don't think he played into them as heavily as maybe with shea, i think stas was already sculpting out a life with him and her dating, which is why i've dubbed her the y/n fantasy. she wanted to date colby brock and get all the fame and fortune that came with that. she likes fans attention, which is why even to this day she's still posting content about him behind a paywall.

what happened after all of this played out is truly anyone's guess, bc clearly after they all came home from europe, something went sour. and not just with colby and stas, but stas and the whole group (minus sam bc sam doesn't really have opinions unless kat allows him to have them). and that's why there was a period of time when stas was shunned from snc/kat. that's why we get her telling fans that she feels abandoned, that kat ignores questions about her, that she doesn't appear in any videos, that colby deleted shipping comments about him and her (and of him and shea too - which was a first). could all of this be from the fact that stas allegedly was telling fans where they were in europe so that's why ppl were able to find them? was it the fact that her roommate was liking tweets about fandom drama and shea? was it bc her mom was posting shit too? or maybe was it bc she amped up their whole """relationship""" to fans and once malishkagate happened, fans were literally congratulating colby and her for finally coming out as a couple? who knows for certain. what i do know is, she crossed a boundary and colby put distance between her and him. which is why she has a poem insta, and why she threw a fit (and then deleted all of the tweets) on twitter when she was in vegas and colby was out on a date with a girl.

so time passed, and once stas was out of the picture, shea came right back into it. then stas and colby became cool with one another, and now all of them friends again (well, except stas and shea. that would be a very weird friendship).

where does all of this leave us?

if i am to be so blunt: i think colby is terrified to be alone, which is why he can complain about being used in one breath but in the next not cut off the ppl that are in his life that do use him. he tolerates the games shea and stas play bc he himself likes to play games. not only that, but he also likes having attention on him - not only from fans but from the girls. and they don't seem to mind giving him what he wants. he likes girls that are into him too much bc then there is the guarantee that they aren't gonna leave him. but that also comes at the price that they walk over him and cross boundaries and constantly want more from him even tho he's not interested. or maybe he is, who fucking knows.

again, i don't think a single party involved is the main problem. they all are. somedays it's shea, others it's stas. and sometimes it's colby.

all i know for certain is that i'm tired of all of this. i regret ever getting into colby's love life, truly. especially now since it's the same players time and time again. at least throw in a random girl i've never heard of before lol

#ask #personal #cb ll #omg this is so long i'm so sorry lol

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Savannah & Jac

Savannah: 🙌 forced family time is cancelled 🙌 hallelujah Savannah: what are we doing? Jac: Celebrating that, obviously 😘 Jac: What excuse did you use and/or what's the sitch? Savannah: Give me a guest list because honestly does not need to turn into a downer as soon as Savannah: it was a great excuse though, taking a mental health moment Savannah: school has me INCREDIBLY stressed Jac: It should be ILLEGAL how hard they make us work, though, preach 👏 Jac: Is totally doesn't get it because she isn't in the top sets like us Jac: it 👏 is 👏 SO 👏 much 👏 more 👏 work 👏 Savannah: if her mother wasn't a teaching assistant, she'd be languishing in the bottom set Savannah: even she knows it Savannah: IMAGINE if she worked at ours Jac: Seriously, ugh, she's stressing me out rn actually Jac: some of us are trying to keep good skin over here, babe, please 😬😖 Jac: She would die, it'd be bad enough having your mum be a teacher, but a teaching assistant like... 🙈 I can't Savannah: you were GLOWING when I left you Savannah: what's she done now? Jac: ❤❤❤ Jac: this is why you CANNOT okay Jac: if we are partying, we need to have such a pamper sesh first, NO ONE but you can 👀 me like this, I swear Jac: it's so typical her Jac: like I love you but the drama, and she always makes it herself Jac: she's 💔 about that boy, the one that's friends with Xav? LIKE I'M SORRY, you didn't even LIKE him before but now he's NOT available to you, hmm 🤔 interesting 💅 Savannah: Baby girl I have got you, my auntie just got this shit imported that's like next level skincare Savannah: you'll look as beautiful to everyone else as you do to me Savannah: 🚫🚫 Is Savannah: I don't know what boy she means so he's obviously not all that important, my god Jac: 🙌 Come through Auntie!!! Jac: you are THE sweetest angel, like how did I even survive before you ??? Jac: 🙄 Serious! Jac: She's definitely mad I'm over it but like, we all have shit on our 🧠 and it's frankly way more important than this non-drama boy drama Jac: you weren't out there looking for sympathy and you're actually struggling, like, why can't she be more like you, and everyone else too, tbh 😘😘 Savannah: I'm religious about this one serum, you will be about ready to die seeing yourself afterwards Savannah: & so will everyone else we invite to this party Savannah: it's no wonder you're over it, she can't let a single thing go! The leggings incident being case in point, it happened such a long time ago Savannah: but she still has to be in my face about it Savannah: Like, sometimes depressed people are slightly thoughtless Savannah: let me live Jac: I'm SO here for this Jac: you wanna come over here? Jude is out and I can easily get rid of the others too Jac: FACTS Jac: you think she'd be more understanding Jac: someone who claims to have social anxiety, remember that too? Jac: WHERE THOUGH??? 😂 Jac: I'm so much quieter than her, like, it's such an excuse with her for when she embarrasses herself or doesn't want to do something Savannah: YES to everything! Savannah: & remember when she had too many shots at Laura's 15th Savannah: Say you think I'm faking it if that's what you think Savannah: I can't cry constantly, I don't look cute doing it Jac: You ALWAYS look cute and that's like all her issue Jac: it's really blatant Jac: babe, the insecurity, it's so sad 😥 Savannah: The last thing I want is for Ty to think that I'm upset because of him when he's the sweetest and the most understanding boo ever but that's clearly what she wants Savannah: he'd be so upset if he saw me cry Jac: ❤❤ such a good boy Jac: her jealousy is so out of control Jac: I wanna help her but how is lashing out at us, her ONLY friends, helpful? Jac: why should we, sometimes, honestly Savannah: every time I've suggested a work out, she shoots me down Savannah: I can't be any more helpful, it's really beneficial & you refuse to try Jac: it's pure laziness Jac: like you said, she'd be bottom everything if her mum didn't like DO her work for her Jac: 🙄 over it, like, lowkey don't even wanna invite her rn Savannah: we could have it at mine, you know what my family get like when there's too many people Savannah: it's not personal Isabelle, it's my mum's crazy acting up Jac: See if she's gonna pop off on your mum too, like Jac: Ugh, I dunno Jac: do we give her a chance to redeem herself? Savannah: The divorce hit hard, as well you know Is, that's why my auntie lives here Savannah: Ooh what kind of chance? Jac: She doesn't get anything about real life Jac: be lucky if her mammy and daddy let her come anyway 😏 Jac: I'm thinking, okay, don't judge me for this 🙊🙊🙊 Savannah: never Savannah: you're perfect Jac: love ❤❤ Jac: So, she's made her bed by acting all salty about this boy, yeah? So, for all this nonsense, I think she needs to invite Shane and let me have him Jac: because she can't POSSIBLY be into him really if she's still hung up on this other boy? Like, that's not fair Savannah: she would string him along but we're not letting her Savannah: There's no way Shane deserves that Savannah: he doesn't deserve you either because WHO could but if you want him Jac: and actually me and him have way better chats and so much more in common Savannah: he's told Ty endless amounts about how much he likes you, bear with, I'll show you Jac: He's really cute, right? Jac: 🤭 oh my god, babe Savannah: [a million screenshots that you don't deserve to have, get off your man's phone hoe] Jac: 1000% saving them Jac: she'll act so pressed but he wants me anyway, what are you gonna do? FORCE him? 🙄 girl, STOP 🛑 Savannah: ^^ 👏 Savannah: remember when she kept walking away from Aaron & he told her to stop & like TOUCHED her arm, she acted like he grabbed her or something Savannah: double standard there Jac: OMG yes Jac: like, I swear she wants to RUIN these boy's lives, who hurt her? 🤔 it's not cute, cannot deal with girls like that 🙅 Savannah: Let the boy speak Savannah: my dad left & I'm not taking it out on my boyfriend Jac: ^^ the immaturity Jac: we're out here trying to grow and heal and be the best versions of ourselves we can be Jac: and she just... 😑 I can't Savannah: she needs Jesus & we're closer to Buddhists 👌💅 Jac: Literally Jac: IMAGINE if I was still stuck with just her and Amelia Anderson, please Jac: actually saved me 🙏🙌😇❤ Savannah: Honey, NO I will not think about it Savannah: I swear you're my soulmate Jac: It's SO true Jac: no one else is on our level, I swear Jac: you just get it Savannah: who was I & what was I doing before I knew you? Savannah: it hurts my heart to even think about past me Jac: Me too 🥺 Jac: but no one is ever gonna fuck with you again, I swear Jac: least of all Is, that's that 👋 Savannah: now I am crying Savannah: I love you Jac: I love you too Jac: we're totally taking my dad's best 📷 and having a MOMENT Jac: the world has gotta see how good we look after our skincare vibes Savannah: everything I ordered during my midnight madness has arrived & there's a dress I'm giving to you Savannah: Shane will die Jac: You are the MOST generous, best best friend ever, I can't even Savannah: how do you want your make up because we can do barely there since you'll be 🌟✨ Savannah: or you can make a statement that you're ready to go all in for him and bring that effort Jac: What do you think? Savannah: You never have to go hard with your 😇 face Savannah: there's no flaws to hide Jac: 😚😚😚 okay then Jac: that's the mood Jac: like I'm not crazy 💕 on him, or anything but he's sweet, we could be cute Jac: not as cute as you and Ty, of course 😘 Savannah: You'll feel it when you feel it Savannah: if you forced it you'd be like Is Jac: 😱😱 NEVER Savannah: she's trying to start a conversation with me Savannah: I don't want this Jac: Oh my GOD Jac: and when does she ever Jac: bet she wants to bitch about me Savannah: Yeah totally Savannah: Who does she think I am? You're my everything Jac: You can see if she does though, play along Savannah: She's started unprompted! Savannah: 'What's Jac's problem with me? Why's she being like this' Savannah: Let me say hello Jac: Wow, like, where's the 'how are you?' but I'm the rude one 🤷 Savannah: Are you okay JJ? Savannah: this is so unnecessarily mean girl of her Jac: Like, I'm so unsurprised but Jac: what's my problem, why is it MY problem suddenly Savannah: ^^ Savannah: [screenshots screenshots screenshots lol] Savannah: she's the one with all the issues, look Jac: 🙄🙄 how much of this did you just say to my face, babe? Jac: if you can't then maybe you should keep it to yourself Savannah: I feel sad Jac: 😿 Jac: we can't let her ruin our night with whatever negativity she's trying to bring rn Savannah: if she's not bringing your boy to you I don't want her around me Savannah: she has to Jac: Like, seriously, do we even invite you? Jac: Ty knows Shane Jac: I was being a good friend and essentially asking for her blessing but why when it just gets thrown in my face like this Savannah: She doesn't deserve to be your friend Jac: It does feel that way 😟 Jac: just so glad I have you Savannah: It can be the 4 of us, you'll feel so much better Jac: I think so Jac: just not in that party mood now Savannah: I'm gonna pamper you & then Shane will too, that's the mood now Jac: 😍🙏 Jac: thank you so much Jac: that's what I need rn, forget her Savannah: She can cry all she wants, I'm not interested Savannah: we're gonna have the best time Jac: We always do Jac: especially when she's not there draining our energy Savannah: Come over whenever Savannah: Ty's got basketball & then he'll be standing in front of the mirror forever post shower taking selfies Savannah: if I wasn't so secure I'd be worried about the time he spends photographing his muscles Jac: his ❤ and 👀 are on 🔒 Jac: bless him Savannah: I can't imagine being with anyone else Savannah: if he leaves me I'll be joining my mum as a wreck who stays in bed constantly Jac: He never will Jac: he's not INSANE Savannah: am I too much? I feel like I have that gene Jac: Oh please Jac: he's rightly obsessed with you Jac: you're so gonna be together forever and get married and have all the cute babies Savannah: They would be the cutest Savannah: I hate not being from a big, close family like yours Savannah: I'm gonna make one Jac: Hey, you're my sister Jac: soulsisters, right, no matter what Savannah: Yes! Savannah: We're gonna be together forever too Savannah: & our babies will grow up as best friends Jac: That will be the best Jac: I wish we'd known each other from being babies too Jac: you were so sweet omg 🥺 Savannah: Shoutout to your dad for taking the perfect amount of pictures of how perfect you've always been Savannah: 👼🏻 Jac: Some of them are so cringe though 😒😂 Jac: thanks so much, dad 👌 Savannah: my dad's head has been ✂ out of all of ours Savannah: what could be more cringe? Savannah: my mum can literally never stop herself Jac: do you have any you managed to save? Savannah: I have some she didn't know were in my room Jac: that's good Jac: you could do something with them Jac: or, failing that ✂ her head out Savannah: Will you help me? Savannah: you're like the most artistic person I've ever met Jac: Of course I will Jac: we could make a frame out of 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 Savannah: OH Savannah: I love that Jac: Right? Kind of everything Jac: we could get one of those fake garlands to hang all our polaroids on too Savannah: 🥰 Savannah: this is why you're in top set for everything Jac: Awh, I just like beautiful things Jac: that's why we're best friends Savannah: you're SUCH a beautiful thing Savannah: I hope you know Jac: Thanks to you Jac: NEVER gonna let you forget ❤ Savannah: Do you need a lift? My auntie is asking because she loves you too Jac: 😭😭 family of 😇s Jac: yes please 😘 Savannah: 10 minutes, baby

#the gayest bffs of all

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shadowfloofster · 2 years ago

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Small rant about Monkie kid shipping don't mind me

Does anyone else get really- frustrated at the amount of shipping the monkie kid fandom does??

I don't like shipping, it tends to ruin shows I like (Dragon prince, SVTFOE and quite a few others) so having the show I've fixated HARD on not have any explicit shipping that could ruin it with relationship drama makes me so happy.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying itself shipping ruins shows (I like the owl house, TAWOG, Adventure time, Dead end: Paranormal park and more!) But it gets really annoying for me when shows I like have ships CONSTANTLY shoved in your face with ✨relationship drama✨ and it drags the show down.

But seeing the fandom immediately jump to shipping nearly every character together from a few small interactions and deam them canon is insanely annoying for me. Freenoodles I 100% understand! I even ship them because they are definitely gay and at minimum together! Shadowpeach too, I don't ship them as much but I can definitely see it.

Then there's Dragonfruit, where they bond while training because of the Samadhi fire and all of a sudden people deam them as canon! If the writers hadn't EXPLICITLY said MK and Mei are NEVER going to be together romantically or anything like that, people would be doing the same thing with them! People can be affectionate and friends without being together romantically or sexually!

I would just block tags and stuff but people don't tag their stuff properly and I'd see nearly no fan art or stories if I blocked every ship I didn't like and I don't want to not interact with the fandom!

It's really got on my nerves since season 4 aired and people constantly go on about Azure lion liking Wukong because of fond looks he gave him.

Just AHHHHH I don't need shipping shoved in my face whenever I want to enjoy fan art or fics of the show I'm fixated on.

#Talk about Monkie kid shipping #Because the fandom is fucking insane with it #I don't mind Spicynoodles either honestly #But god most other ships annoy the hell out of me #Don't mind my rambling #I just needed to get this out as I love the show and all the fanart made #but many fandoms have been ruined by purely the shipping taking over

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wtl-archive · 26 years ago

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What happened between the creators of this AU? Was there drama and/or toxicity that broke down friendships?

Short answer:

Some Grade-A bullshit, and yes.

Long answer:

What happened was a million little things that escalated into not-so-little things, that escalated into very big things, that escalated into the complete destruction of my psyche and by extension this project. There's no single thing that tore it all apart, which is why it's so frustrating to talk about, even more so hearing other people get it all wrong.

I would be lying if I said if I wasn't partially responsible for what's happened, and I'm not going to lie to you. I've done more than enough of that.

I fucked up. I was an idiot. I did stupid and bad things I shouldn't have. If I had the power to go back in time, I would've done things differently.

I'm not exactly sure when things started to fall apart. It was like I was the frog in the pot being slowly boiled alive, not realizing how much danger I was in and how stupid I was being until it was too late.

Working on this AU, as much as I loved it and still love it, it drove me crazy. I mean, my mental health wasn't exactly the best going into it, but I've never felt so empty and angry like I did then, and yet it was the only thing keeping me going. I felt terrible when I wasn't working on it but when I was, I was stressed and frustrated. It was just this endless insanity spiral.

*sigh* I'm getting ahead of myself.

The people who worked on this AU are not bad people. I think it's important I preface with that. Some of them are far too gullible for their own good, but being stupid doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that nothing has taught you to be cautious yet. I don't have the highest opinions of some of them, but at the end of the day they're just that; opinions. There are no bad people, just hurt people that have far more reach and the potential to cause far more damage than they realize, just naïve people who have the misfortune of being an easy target and being naturally louder than everyone else, just broken people that need more than a few kind words to fix them, just misguided people that don't have enough experience points invested in their Wisdom stat to tell them when they're being played, just people that have good intentions and no idea how to use them, just people that are fundamentally incompatible.

For all of my frustrations, and as much as I'd like to, I can't bring myself to properly hate some of these people. Even when I've tried talking about this with folks who've got no context for any of it, I feel like I'm constantly trying to defend them despite how much the things they've done piss me off.

My only desire is that this story be told correctly. I hope you can understand how incredibly fucking obnoxious it is to see the people with the biggest microphones and the least amount of context spewing utter nonsense out of their mouths will full confidence despite having no goddamn idea what they're talking about.

Anyway... at the core of this, yes, it was broken friendships that forced the AU to be discontinued. I really don't want to use the term "toxic" though. I've noticed this trend of over-the-counter therapy buzzwords being tossed around in online spaces (Tumblr, Twitter and TikTok being by far the worst offenders) when they don't feel very applicable once you think about it for more than like 15 minutes. I've caught myself doing it more often too, now that this site and the people on it have sufficiently rotted my brain, but I'm trying to be better about it.

I keep getting sidetracked, but - while "Yeah, we stopped being friends so we stopped doing the AU too," isn't an incorrect assessment of the situation, I think it massively over simplifies what happened and understates how much it destroyed my sanity, which I might be okay with if it was just left at that and not turned into a slander campaign. Not to mention, it makes it really fucking easy for everyone else to completely ignore and lie about my side of the story, as if being the foreigner and the newbie didn't make that easy enough already.

Just about everything I could say "Yes" to has some sort of asterisk behind it. Context is king and summaries take away the context.

Yes, some of my so called friends tried to help me (not like I had much of choice in saying no despite my best efforts), except when I finally let my walls down a little and decided to trust someone, it blew up in my face! You know how much it sucks to tell someone "I really would rather not talk about this because the things I have to say are really fucked up, and you're not gonna wanna hear it despite how much you're begging for it," several fucking times, and when they insist over and over that they can handle it and it'll be okay Nugget, you can trust me, I won't tell anyone only for it to be painfully obvious that they can't handle it and you can't trust them once you finally cave in and start talking? You know how much it sucks to be poked at over and over and over again, and when you've had enough and finally snap people just think you're crazy? You know how much it sucks to be told to just talk it out over and over again despite it doing absolutely nothing and it all being a big waste of time? To be told that your words mean nothing and no matter how much you try all you ever do is fuck up and make things worse? Yeah, some help that was.

Yes, I posted DMs, only after I realized people were sharing mine, and only after I got banned from my own Discord server for shit that wasn't even true, and only after I found out that there was an entire sperate server made just to talk shit about me behind my back, and only after I got blacklisted on Tumblr by my mutuals because people were telling them a bunch of fucking lies, and only after my sister of all people got a message accusing me of plotting a murder, and only after my ex got recruited to participate in this pile of shit being thrown my way (God, what a terrible, disrespectful judgment of his character... he's my ex, not my nemesis, we're still friends and he loves and cares about me a lot, I cannot overstate how much that pissed me off), and only after I got accused of drawing sexual harassment of characters that weren't mine in a callout post filled to the brim with bullshit (totally untrue btw... still baffled as to where this claim came from), and only after every other possible avenue of defending myself and saying "Hey, actually that's bullshit and you know it," was taken away from me.

Yes, I have a venting side blog, WHICH THESE PEOPLE WERE BLOCKED FROM, and that has probably the worlds biggest disclaimer as a pinned post explaining the purpose of the blog, something that repeatedly gets swept under the rug every time it gets mentioned. I'm supposed to feel sorry because a bunch of people are nosey and like to jump to conclusions?? Give me a fucking break. I blocked about half a dozen people from my side blog a few months after I made it specifically because I knew exactly what kind of reaction it would garner if they new it existed. They can't handle me being a little upset on Discord, of course I knew that blog would make them lose their fucking minds! I mean this is the same group of people that struggle to say the word 'pregnant', my expectations weren't exactly the highest, that's why they were blocked! And as usual, my paranoia was completely correct! They found out about it and look what happened! Maybe if my fears weren't confirmed at every possible turn I wouldn't feel the need to be so reactive.

Yes, I keep chat logs, no, that is not what stalking means despite everyone's insistence on using that word. Information visible on your public internet profile is not stalking either. Neither is using Google Analytics, something available to literally every tumblr user for free on any of their blogs and something that is used by advertisers to be much nosier than I would ever need to be. I only started keeping chat logs because I had my suspicions that something funky was going on I wanted to keep receipts (and I'm a natural hoarder anyway... I don't like to delete stuff if I don't have to). I understand that it's a weird thing to do, but it's not fucking illegal to keep an offline copy of something you would have access to with an internet connection. This is a feature partially built into Discord, by the way (Though it's definitely easier and more inclusive with a third party application). In fact, most chat services will allow you to download a copy of your messages. If not the entire conversation, then at least the message you sent. Wild to me that people are totally unaware of how mush shit online gets tracked and recorded in some way shape or form, it's like the concept of a digital footprint does not exist in their minds at all.

Yes, I was not the best at managing this project and I've never denied this. I've apologized for it several times, and I tried my best to do better. I've apologized for things that weren't even my fault. I've said sorry so many times it doesn't even feel like a real word anymore. I do not have a time machine to fix every mistake I've made, so unless someone wants to give me a schematic for one, I kindly ask that you shut the fuck up. I beat myself up enough every time something goes wrong, I don't need everyone else to constantly tell me how shitty I am too.

I tried so hard to do a good job running this project despite it growing to be way bigger than I ever expected or intended it to be. I tried to take everyone's input into consideration, I tried to please as many people as I could.

You want more than just a cameo? Sure, you can make your own timeline, that sounds like fun. (x2)

You hate Connie and anything to do with her character? Sounds like you just wanna fuck Steven and you're jealous, especially considering the other people in this fandom you like to hang out with, but okay, I'll do my best to keep Connie x Steven out of as many channels as I can.

You say these two clowns are mean to you in your DMs and want me to fix it for you? Seems like personal beef you should be dealing with yourself, but since they're causing some problems in my server too let's try to talk to them and make it seem like I'm the one who's upset with them so you don't have to be the bad guy or have any sort of backbone (you can guess how well that went).

You're worried these side blogs have too many spoilers even if they're hidden? You think these posts shouldn't be on the main blog anymore? A completely valid concern, I'll delete them.

You think it's annoying to hear people talk about FNAF when you don't know about it (even though I've heard people talk about Deltarune for weeks despite not giving a singular shit about anything Undertale related)? Okay, I'll make some new channels just for you.

You say I don't give you enough credit for your work? Okay, that's fair, here's a special Discord role so people know that you've worked really hard and announcement to make it clear that's what it's for.

You don't think you're getting enough appreciation for working on these characters? Okay, you've done a lot for them, you can have them. I'll make sure everyone knows that you've done a lot of work on them, you can even review what I'm going to say about it before I make it public.

You don't wanna tell these other people working on the AU that they hurt your feelings 'cause you're too much of a pussy to do it yourself? Fine, I'll go ask them to apologize to you even though I don't really think they did anything wrong and were totally justified in being pissed at you.

You wanna spend an hour telling me how much of a piece of shit you think I am and how much I suck? Sure! Go right on ahead! I'll let you rant to your heart's content and I won't say a word.

You think I'm so terrible at running this project, you think I'm such horrible person, okay, fine! It's your problem now, you can have it! Have fun without me or any of my contributions!

Everyone kept pushing and pushing, kept testing me despite how much I warned them to stop, and when I can't take it any more and I'm absolutely sick of it and bite back, then they want to hide. Only then do they want it to stop, only then do they want to let go, sweep it under the rug, leave it all in the past. Only once they've got exactly what they fucking asked for do they realize the mistake they made. "Hey everybody, let's poke the bear and then act like it's crazy for growling at us!"

So. Yeah. You could say there was some drama. And of course, now everyone likes to pretend it wasn't a big deal and wants to move on. Which, I guess for them, it wasn't a big fucking deal. This changes nothing for any of them! They can fuck up and destroy as much as they like and they never have to worry about a thing, 'cause everyone is still gonna love them no matter what and believe everything they say as long as they keep up the soft and innocent cry baby routine. Wonderful. I'm sooo happy for them.

Look, I'm not gonna pretend I'm the nicest person out there or that I'm perfectly innocent and I've never done anything wrong. I hurt people and I didn't run the project as well as I should have. But if you're going to tell this story, then for the love of fucking God, tell all of it. The idea that I was the only one fucking up is just wrong. The way people recite it makes it sound like I was a tyrannical, psychotic murderer the entire time for shits and giggles. Like I just enjoyed feeling like absolute shit and being slowly convinced over the course of a year that I'm horrible person and no amount of trying to be better is going to fix it, that do matter what I do I'll always be scary and a villain in their eyes, so why should I bother doing anything good? As if people fall apart and lose their minds for no reason besides they just want to, I guess. Yeah, that was so fun for me.

Though, to be fair, when I'm angry, I get very short-sighted and petty (which is why I try so hard not to be angry). That's what the venting blog is for. Things can get vitriolic on my venting blog... its my little corner of the internet where I can release some frustration in a place where people who know me irl wont be able to easily find it and in a way where I don't have to worry about offending somebody or being too dark or fucked up. Which is why it's a vent blog in the first place... one that I went through the effort of blocking people from and was intentionally very vague on... one that had basically zero interaction until after other people made a big fuss about it... and tbh, I'm not gonna try to explain away what's on it. My brain is fucked up sometimes and I'm not gonna lie about it. But I think it's a little unfair to judge someone's entire character off of how they are in their lowest, darkest moments. I happen to be willing to share a few of mine on that blog, and I don't think that's worth being lied about over.

//Tangent:

The concept of a venting blog is not some revolutionary new idea btw, I feel like it should be stated. If you've never explored Tumblr outside of the confines of whatever safe space you've made for yourself on your dash then maybe this idea might seem new to you, but there's thousands of venting and mental health blogs out there in a similar vein to my own. It's the reason I realized I could even make a blog like that — I went down the rabbit hole one incredibly depressed night and learned that, hey, there's other people on this site going through shit too, and they're willing to say the things I was far too scared to admit to myself. (At least, I was too scared at first. Now not so much.)

//End Tangent

If you wanna judge me then okay, but at the very least I think it'd be smart to look into things yourself instead of blindly believing what people tell you without question. You've got all the resources to come to your own conclusions. Walk the Line's Discord server and the Chaos Pit Discord server are archived and all their channels made public, along with all of these chat logs, this massive doc about two specific AU creators (that actually wasn't made by me if the typing style didn't make that obvious) and the old blog's archive.

Have fun diving further down this rabbit hole if you're really that curious, but I'm exhausted. Maybe you can do me a favor and make sure that people are spreading this part of the story so they have all of it.

#ask #tuxedogirl #meta #walk the line #walktheline au #steven universe #You could say I'm still a little bitter about it.

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qqueenofhades · 7 years ago

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Wondering if you've seen that FB post about Garcy&violence against women? What's your take on this? To me it's insane - I enjoy all kinds of weird shit in fiction, but don't wish it happened to me. I'm a bit concerned that our ship may never sail to the sunset 'cause of similar (exaggerated, in my opinion) voices. Aaaand... didn't I see the traces of psychological abuse in Lyatt/Wyjess?

Welp.

Disclaimer: I hate talking about/thinking about/participating in any way in fandom drama, and my policy for as long as my blog has existed has been to ignore it. Some people have to be very informed on it and reacting to it all the time and etc, and whatever works for them, but I just can’t do it. Fandom is my happy bubble and I take active steps to cut out that sort of energy, because it will mess me up. It’s one of the reasons I’m not on twitter. I am a serious introvert and sensitive person and just don’t have the spoons to constantly manage it. So.

That said, you asked, and I do have some thoughts on this, so this will basically be the post I make about it, and then go back to my happily oblivious corner.

Timeless was a very chill fandom, shipping-wise, in s1, and it was small enough (and ships were not the main focus of the plot, even if potential existed) that we mostly or entirely avoided ship wars. However, in s2, we had a lot more shippy content, angst for a main ship, a returned dead wife, a love square, the development of an enemies-to-lovers ship, and some open-endedness about how they’re going to treat the main ship going forward, all of which leads to more friction and backbiting in fandom. This happens to most TV shows, unfortunately, and Timeless certainly isn’t as bad as other fandoms that I’ve seen, but it definitely is not the same atmosphere that it was. Which is disappointing, but again, not surprising. You have vocal fans of one thing on twitter, and then vocal fans of another, and no firm announcement of season 3, so… yeah. The natives become restless.

As for Garcy, I honestly remember the exact same thing happening with CS for years. There were many vocal antis who called the ship abusive, that it promoted violence against women, that Hook was horrible/a rapist, etc etc, that it made Emma “weak,” that it sent a bad message, so on and so forth, and they spent a lot of time bombarding the showrunners with their views. (The whole OUAT fandom turned pretty toxic and cliquish the more the show went on, unfortunately, and was one of the reasons in me leaving.) This didn’t make much difference to the ultimate writing of CS; they still ended up married/endgame with a baby. Anyway, the point is, fandom noise, even if there’s a lot of it, doesn’t usually massively or unduly influence the showrunners’ writing decisions. It’s a little different with Timeless, since they are still talking about what to do in s3, but all of that has pointed to more focus on Garcy, not less. In his TiffTalks interview recently, Shawn Ryan didn’t pull punches in talking about how badly Wyatt screwed up and raising the question of whether it was too late for him to make it up to Lucy, and repeating about 500 times about Flynn’s feelings for Lucy and that being an important part of the show (and hinting that he has a different opinion on L/W from the fandom).

As well, there has been a serious surge of interest for Garcy this season (look, they asked MATT LANTER in an interview about the tons of support for Flynn/Lucy online, which… dude, what do you want the poor guy to say? He’s not involved in that ship and plays a character that is the opposing number to it. But anyway). As I said in my last ask, they wrote a certain amount of L/W content, and then cut or changed it, and treated the Garcy content in a way to make it clear that they wanted to preserve the canon possibility of them as something more than friends/partners. So yes.

I think the fandom reaction to every enemies-to-lovers ship, especially in the case of Garcy when it appears to threaten an established/main ship, reflects the tumblr “social justice fandom purity” culture, where everything that a fandom doesn’t personally like gets put through the “this is why my opinion is Woke” gristmill. In other words, it’s not enough that they don’t like Garcy (which is fine for them, honestly, people can ship whatever they want); they have to prove that it is Bad and Unhealthy (while, as you point out, being blind to valid textual criticism to be made of their preferred ship/male lead). Flynn stans criticize him freely and refer to him as the Garbage Lord (especially in s1), but as I have noted before, Wyatt is often shielded from the consequences of his actions both in canon text and fandom discourse, and they find even more thinly justified ways to bash on Flynn/Garcy instead. That is tiring, and it unfortunately does impact on my views of both the character and the ship. It’s also why I have to stay away from too much of it. I WANT to keep liking Wyatt and rooting for him, but to have his canon actions ignored and excused and twisted around is a little (or a lot) eye-rolling. It’s okay. We all stan fuckup characters. It makes them more interesting. But that doesn’t mean they’re not fuckups.

Honestly, there were many, many other ways they could have written this Jessica arc (as well as Flynn’s interactions with Lucy), but they didn’t. As I also keep saying, this kind of drama eventually happens in all fandoms, and Timeless did not escape it. Hopefully it can be prevented from getting too out of hand. But yes, the movement overall has been (far far more than I EVER expected) toward Flynn/Lucy, and I don’t know what the writers will decide on for s3. It is, however, not going to be influenced just by some annoying fans on facebook.

#fandom wank #fandom drama #fandom drama for ts #okay i've said my piece #back to my bubble #wyatt critical #anonymous #ask

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