#theres suddenly another bug in the code

[godmonium]

Been thinking about Evil Morty... here are my thoughts it's all jabber it has no reason i was just writing things down

To me, Evil Morty sees himself as on a higher plane to other Mortys because he was able to notice the pattern of abuse he was going through and actually do something about it. To him, other Mortys are inferior for many reasons. Because they aren't smart, they are boot lickers, they appeal as much as they can to their Rick's, they live their lifes with their tails between their legs, blissfully ignorant in a system that destined to doom them from the moment they were made.

Infact, I'd go as far as to say Evil Morty doesn't even care about Other Mortys enough to have an opinion on them outside of them being Pathetic. He doesn't think about them, and when he does, it's with a quiet sort of loathing that solidifies the fact in his head that they are all just tools, and he escaped the toolbox. It's probably how he so easily tossed aside his morality and tortured them. He's just using them for what they were made for.

However it's not as if he wants to be praised for this fact. He's a "narcissist", but he's one with very little care what others think about him. He is self assured that he's better than everyone, he's so confident he doesn't need anyone else to lift him up or calm his insecurities. For some reason I think this makes him oddly terrifying?

Also, Evil Morty is extremely goal oriented. He has a plan, he follows through, and when it fails he just makes another even better plan. He doesn't stew in his misery and disappointment that everything went to shit, he just moves onto the next best thing. He has things to do, places to be, and he refuses to let himself be slowed down by other people unless they help him reach that goal.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

shuro notes

upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.

With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.

After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions

Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.

But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.

Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.

Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again

Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.

Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.

Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.

Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.

izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.

Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.

Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:

This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.

In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.

benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:

but even more interesting is her comic:

this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.

We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.

I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.

He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.

He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.

Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake

able to tell chilchuck was not a child

is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call

Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.

Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:

Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.

Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:

Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.

He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.

Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef

low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....

If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH

Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.

Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.

in conclusion:

think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man

jk its marcille #feminism

[bugmomwrites]

Animal Crossed Lovers (Tamaki Amajiki)

Alrighty so I haven't put any finished work on here in a hot minute, that’s my bad. ANYWHO my mom got me ACNH as an early birthday gift since my birthday (April 5th) just missed the supposed quarantine cutoff date for our area (7th). I may be be stuck inside while everything’s closed, but hey- at least the island of Escapism hardly rests 😉

(SW-3129-0651-5422)

Tamaki Amajiki x GN! Reader

Tamaki was never one to play video games, but he had to admit there was just something...soothing about Animal Crossing that melted much of his anxiety away. Nejire had initially preordered a copy for his birthday weeks ago, but her friend who worked at the local (s/n) (who he may or may not have been crushing on since their second year after they joined them at lunch one day) was able to pull a couple strings and get it on the fourth of March instead of the twentieth. Of course he had no idea, but he was so stunned when he opened it that it didn’t even occur to him that the game wasn’t even out yet until Mirio had reminded him. He didn’t question it though- his friend group was one wild card after another, so he guessed he shouldn’t have been too surprised.

He was thrilled, and just the fact that no one else had a copy yet made it feel all the more personal. Of course he knew in sixteen days it would be all anybody ever talked about, but for the time being it felt like the game, the little world he had created in the past few days with its gentle music and soft, wholesome theme, was his and his alone. The fact that it was a gift from his friends made it all the more special, and even if he had a hectic day at school he could turn on the console and water pretend flowers on a pretend island, and for those few moments, all was right with the world.

He was pulling weeds to sell to Timmy for bells when his screen pinged in the corner that made his blood run cold.

(Gamertag) is online

Playing: Animal Crossing New Horizons

That’s right, you had friended him on the switch after realizing all his friends had one, and now with a fourth person they could have a full team online. Mirio has suggested everyone exchange codes, and you had taken the liberty of showing him how to punch in the code and adding yourself while he sat there trying not to melt into his seat at how excited you got, or how nice you smelled up close. You had passed it back with a beaming grin, telling him you couldn’t wait to do co-ops. At the time he could only nod, speechless as the rest of his friends made idle chatter until the bell rung, and everyone scurried back to class.

He quickly realized he had left the terminal gate open when he was poking around the various features, learning about what each thing does in game. He tried sprinting to the airport to close the gates, and he made it to the dock before a big green banner flashed across his screen reading “you have a visitor!”

Out of the threshold popped your avatar, and for a moment he was grateful he could hide behind a screen. He wanted to be mad, upset even, that you had wandered onto his digital sanctuary, but couldn’t find it in himself because, then again, it was you.

The Nookphone in the top left corner buzzed to life, and he opened up the chat log with shaky hands. In a cutesy, pastel speech bubble was your message, and he wondered how something that was once so therapeutic to him could do a 180 and suddenly become the source of his anxiety.

G/T: Hello! Sorry to pop in unannounced, I hope you don’t mind^^

Tamaki felt his mouth go dry, reading it in your voice and after steadying his breathing, he painstakingly typed out a response.

Suneater: its ok.

G/T: It’s kinda hard to find others to play with when the game isn’t even released yet >~<

Suneater: Oh?

He should have known it was too good to be true. You were only visiting him because no one else was on yet. He sighed, trying to keep the dread from crawling back in before another note popped up.

G/T: The game doesn’t actually release until the first day of spring, but working at (s/n) has its perks. I saw the trailers and the hype and figured it would be the perfect game for you.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him upon reading that. So he wasn’t the last choice- rather, the game simply wasn’t out to the general public yet. But if that was the case, how did you also get a copy?

Suneater: thats nice of you

G/T: And then a little birdy told me you had a birthday coming up, so since I have a couple connections after I got my copy, I asked my manager if they’d set aside one more.

Suneater: you

Suneater: you were the one who helped get it early?

Boy did he feel stupid now. You worked at (s/n), (as you had literally just mentioned in your previous notes), Nejire got him a game that wasn’t out yet, you guys were all mutual friends- how did he not put two and two together?!

G/T: Yes lol that would be me^ you liking it so far? You picked a good name for the island too.

“Sunshine Island” may have seemed a little cliche to most people, but Tamaki had so many things in his life linked to it that by this point, it was just routine. Mirio was his sun in dark times. His nickname Suneater, even the sunflowers he had received from his parents for his birthday each year was tradition. He knew not everyone would see it the way he did, but to him, it was perfect, and he was definitely chuffed when he thought it up and punched it in for the first time.

To hear you loved it too sent a swell of pride through him, and he wondered if it was possible to love someone as much as he did just then.

Suneater: you really think so?

G/T: Absolutely

And with that, the two of you explored Sunshine Island together, he showed you his tent, the shops, and the little orchard of peaches he had arranged. You were impressed by the amount of detail and care that went into arranging everything, and asked if he’d be willing to help you with your island sometime, to which he obliged. 

You guys did some more walking, and he told you to feel free to shake theres and take a couple fruits with you. His native fruit was peaches, and in exchange you dropped a couple of your own fruits from your island on the ground for him to pick up so he could have more variety in his world.

G/T: There’s six different kinds, and each island is assigned one main type of fruit. the more you visit with friends, the more biodiversity you’ll get. Pretty cool right? I have some spare (F/N), and if you take and plant those, they'll grow and multiply!

His avatar hesitantly wandered over to the offering after yours stepped back a little to let him take them. Your generousity was surely appreciated, and even though you couldn't see it, he smiled softly before typing out a new message.

Suneater: Thank you. I’ll go plant those.

The game might have been synced up with real time, even getting darker after a certain hour- yet despite it being outside, neither one of you noticed just how much time had passed between all the bug catching, fishing, exploring and talking. When your screen loaded up a clock that read 2:54 AM, you blinked a few times, as if that would change the reading. But lo and behold, it was going for 3am on a school night, and you knew you both had to get to bed.

G/T: Ah beans its 3am, I gotta get to bed soon. Thanks for letting me hang out on your island, and sorry for keeping you awake >~<

Suneater: don't be sorry, i had a lot of fun. can we play together again sometime?

G/T: Of course! I can't wait to meet up again. Maybe we can visit my island next time? I should have those peaches planted by then, and you can teach me your ways, oh master landscaper.

Tamaki chuckled out loud at that, blushing, as he suddenly had a brilliant idea.

Suneater: That would be nice. Wait here a second.

He scurried off to a patch of flowers he had blooming, and with a shovel, picked up a few in your favorite color before making his way back over and dropping them in front of you.

Suneater: You can start by planting a few of these around your island. It is your favorite color, right?

Now it was your turn to blush as you picked up the (f/c) flowers he dropped in front of you, smiling like a goon at his burst of confidence. How he remembered your favorite color is beyond you, but hey- you weren’t complaining.

G/T: They’re perfect, thank you Tama!

Suneater: You're welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow?

G/N: You know it! Goodnight <3

And on that note you walked down to the airport, his avatar following close behind as if to see you off. It was a simple gesture, but appreciated nonetheless. Both of you powered down your switches for the night before plugging them in, and promptly hopping into your respective beds with racing hearts. It was the perfect end to your digital “date” and you couldn’t wait to log in again.

Thank you for reading! Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. The inbox is always open for future ideas, so don’t be afraid to drop in. 

Also gonna tag @katsukisprincess​ cause I mean...Animal Crossing and wholesome Tamaki fluff. ‘Nuff said.

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 19: Good Impressions (Loki x OFC Pairing)

I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but grin widely, baring my teeth even as a sense of giddiness filled me. It was very rarely I ever actually dressed up or even really did much to prepare for an upcoming battle beyond gathering power, planning and making sure I had all my war ducks in a row, this was extra but it was the good kind in my opinion.

"You know...I read that the Spartans, the fiercest ancient warriors our world had at one point, would pretty themselves up before battle and spies from enemy lines that caught them doing that would overestimate them. Apparently real men don't wear makeup into a war," I told Loki who walked up behind me, watching me check myself out. "Funny thing is in this country and probably a lot of other countries today have this thing called war paint which might not make them look fabulous like a Spartan but it might as well be makeup as it's primarily worn on their face."

"I remember the Spartans, Odin was impressed by their tactics and way of life, especially their stand against the Persians, the odds weren't in their favor and yet somehow they gave them hell before defeat," Loki recalled.

"Quality over quantity," I added. "Those people were literally born to be warriors, only the strong babies survived the first of many tests they were forced into." I combed a hand through my hair, considered messing it but decided against it. "I used to be more of a silk or velvet kinda girl but I gotta tell ya, I'm really digging the leather. It's fashionable, it's sexy even, and it's pretty decent armor, I mean it's no breastplate or Kevlar vest but those are a bit too obvious and that's the last thing we want right now." I took a few swaggering steps, glancing at my backside curiously to see how it all fit together.

"You're enjoying this entirely too much," he mused.

"I know it hasn't been that long since we met, but are you really surprised at this point?"

"No, not really. How long are you gonna fawn over yourself in the mirror before we actually put this plan into motion?"

"Relax, I got this. I just gotta get a few things down pat before we jump head first into this oncoming shit storm." I grinned again. "What's the hurry?"

He watched me, a glint of amusement in his eyes as he shook his head at my antics. "You got the smile right and I'm not sure how you were able to copy my walk so quickly but the humor needs to change if you insist on chattering before things get started."

"But...humor is why I'm still kicking," I protested. "And it's a far cry from your own, which mind you I'm glad you have any at all, some other gods can't seem to grasp that concept despite being eons old. Still, it's a lot more...eloquent than I'm used to."

"Then perhaps don't say anything at all."

"And leave you to do all the talking, hell to the no, spank you very much."

"What's wrong with me doing the talking for once?" he crossed his arms in challenge and arched an eyebrow, daring me to answer.

I gave the god an unapologetic and unamused look. "I'm not the only one that's been muzzled here, maybe your brother was onto something when he did it to you."

"How dare you? You take that back right now!"

"Or what? Whatcha gonna do, huh? Take your shot, green boy, you got me deadbang."

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly interrupted our usual bickering match and we both turned to see a half amused half arachnid smirking at us with his unnaturally muscular arms crossed as well. "You know this is technically playing with yourself, right? I mean if that's the case, could you get a room that isn't the only bathroom in the apartment, please?"

"How long since this plan was in motion did you wanna use that joke?" I teased the kid.

Peter shrugged and pretended to look bashful but now that he too was throwing in dirty jokes, the facade of him being an innocent kid was now out the window. "You sure I can't tag along?"

"Kid, you got your own enemies to fight and this might be a bit above your skillset which means if you tag along theres much less chance of you coming back."

"But you could just bring me back yourself, right?"

I scowled at his optimism. "Doesn't work that way, I only bring back the ones that can't pass on on their own and want another chance at tying up loose ends, and you better not be one of those people, you're a kid, which goes against my personal code of bringing back zombie kids, that's just fucking depressing having an army of rotting midgets."

Peter sighed in despair and slumped his shoulders. "I never get to do anything fun."

I rolled my eyes at his whining. "I'd also be held responsible for letting you come with and I kinda don't want to be hunted down by a team of go getters and fancyass technology, no spank you. I already have Hydra for the latter. So do me a favor, sit your five dollar ass down, before I make change."

Peter scoffed at my implied threat but stopped bugging me, it might have been his plan that could get the odds in our favor but it sure as hell wasn't his fight and I had no intention of dragging another cute super powered person into my personal vendetta. "Aunt May says you can come back anytime, just give one of us a heads up next time...and maybe something that gets black bloodstains off any surface just in case."

I would've blanched if I wasn't pale already. "Oh no, did I ruin something, I can pay for that."

"No no, just, I think she thinks you'd only come here if you're in trouble like you were this time and she's worried you might miss a spot next time if that's the case, normal blood you can just use hydrogen peroxide, but I'm not too sure it works on corpse blood."

"Noted and tell her thanks for everything, same goes for you of course since you were the one to let us in before she agreed to it. And also not informing the A team, that's important...you didn't tell them right?"

"Not like they take me all that seriously or even answer my calls if I did," Peter muttered. "You're all good there, promise."

"Excellent! You stay sharp and cute, the second either of that fails, you're fucked."

"Thanks, I think."

"Right then." I turned to Loki with another smirk. "How's this for a first impression?" I asked in smooth sorta British sorta something else accent.

He scowled at me but couldn't complain it seemed. "I'm getting the sense you've been working on that before this came to pass."

"Anyone can do an Avenger impression, hell anyone can wear their costumes, right Peter? But I'm not about the hero life, so why waste time on them when I've been giving it all to you?"

Loki was silent at this and it was Peter that actually responded to me. "That was actually really sweet."

"You say that like it's a surprise, physically dead here, not emotionally dead, thank you. My heart hadn't reached that stage where it becomes calcified like a fetus that won't leave its womb."

"You always have the oddest choice of metaphors," muttered Loki. "So you have the walk, the voice, the smile even though I'm not sure that's even necessary at this point."

"When are you going to prepare for the plan then?" I challenged. "Go on, see how well you know your part."

"Don't you worry about my side of the plan, I've been doing this sort of thing for the sheer fun of it long before you decided to do it out of sheer boredom."

I snorted and rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, we're all very aware of your old age, you don't have to remind us like we have to remind you, old man."

"Ye of little faith," he mocked, earning a bar of soap flying at his face he was lucky enough to duck. "Your aim needs improvement."

"I'm sorry, did you actually want to be hit in the head by something solid and hard and not a pillow, because I missed on purpose, you cotton headed ninny-muggins."

"Seriously, is all you two do bicker at each other?" asked Peter.

"Well I mean you wouldn't let us have any real adult fun while we crashed here so we gotta get that pent up energy out somehow, right?" I reasoned.

"She's not wrong," Loki agreed.

"Besides, no one's getting hurt from it, I'm convinced this is our own special way of showing we love each other without being a bunch of saps. I'm 99 things but a sap ain't one."

"What's wrong with being affectionate?" asked Peter, almost sounding offended.

"That implies I have more emotions than I'm willing to admit to anyone including myself, I'm generally not ok with having that much feels." I grinned, slicked back my hair again before doing a little dance for funsies.

"I'd refrain from doing that little jig when the plan's in full swing," warned Loki though he was still smiling in amusement.

"Oh but I like this," I purred with the accent again.

The smirk on his own face twisted, like I said something that somehow offended him and all his ancestors and pissed him off or deeply upset him. "Don't make me take it away from you till right before the fight starts."

"Oh come on, maybe you just need to hug it out and join the fun, bring it in, big guy." I opened my arms wide for emphasis. "There's no better love than self love."

He rolled his eyes at my stellar pun and green magic rolled over him as he changed into character. "I bet you were just dying to make that joke."

I stared at him and it was my turn to glare. "Was that your attempt at a dead joke? Oh hun, you gotta do better than that to fit the bill."

"Don't patronize me, woman, I wasn't even trying then."

I walked over and patted his cheek just to mess with him. "Sure you weren't. Do me a favor and work on that but also turn around for me."

"Why?"

"Just...do it."

He did begrudgingly and I frowned upon studying his form thoroughly before he faced me again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you got it right, it's just...I didn't realize it looked like that and now I'm suddenly an insecure teenager. Peter, is this how you feel all the time because, dude, this really sucks and I feel for ya."

"You say that like you were never one yourself," Peter noted.

"I know I was but like, I don't remember what it was like then, I couldn't tell you what I was like as a teen."

"Why not?"

"No memory of it, at all."

"You mean like it was so long ago that you can't remember that far back or lots of stuff happened during it so fast that it's all a blur."

"I mean it's not even accessible, it's gone from my mind completely."

Peter frowned, probably trying to understand what I was getting at. "Amnesia?"

"Mindwipe."

"Like Bucky Barnes?"

"No, that's brainwashed...wait, those do sound synonymous, damn, hadn't even thought about that. Brainwashed is basically having your mind overridden and reprogrammed, there's memories there but they're not real ones. Mindwiped is just nothing there to reprogram at all."

"Did Hydra do that too?"

"No, Hydra can't touch this, something they need to have programmed in their heads for all the times they tried and failed any of their aims when they had me. I can't tell you the who, but I can tell you it was painless and done willingly and without regret."

"You chose to have memories taken from you?"

I nodded simply, unable to elaborate as per the deal.

Loki, knowing there was some things I couldn't talk about for reasons he wouldn't know until hopefully later, chose to cut in then. "I think that's enough curiosity for now, we should get going and finish the plan you concocted for us."

I smiled thankfully at Loki and nodded in agreement. "Yes, of course.  Parker, if I don't make it back by tomorrow...just wait longer."

"Stop teasing the child, Nell, you could be really testing his patience with your antics and we wouldn't be welcomed back."

"You wouldn't, I would because I'm a delight to be around." I strutted after him anyway and he shook his head and beckoned me out of the bathroom and unfortunately out of the apartment.

"The Hydra agents and people that turned on you would say otherwise."

"The Hydra agents don't even know what joy is, the only time they're smiling is when they think they're about to take over the world and people are dying around them...the traitors are just pussies which means it doesn't take much to make em weep."

"Again with the metaphors."

"Maybe you should start taking some notes, eh? Give you a head start seeing as I'm all caught up on my end, unless you got something to add there?"

"Well you still haven't proven you can get the mannerisms right and mannerisms maketh men."

"But we are not men..."

"No, we're immortals."

[reconnoiterish]

hi yes hello that hollow knight/rvb art made my entire week and is delightful. All of those designs are perfect, A+, gorgeous. Do i spy some of simmons' mask on Grif? that's brilliant!! Also Caboose is big and friend shaped, perfect for carrying Church . if you have literally any thoughts to share on that concept I would adore reading them, because every single design is so good

SORRY i took a bit to answer this i had to organize my thoughts and then got busy and distracted...

ok first of all god this ask + the tags some of yall left on the original post have been the most validating shit... i was not expecting ppl to be All About my very self indulgent nonsense

and: yes thats bits of simmons mask on grif! i just like trying to find ways to incorporate bits of human face hcs into my weird au designs. the reds n blues are always fun to interpret in wierd ways bc theyre nicely color coded, and fandom interpretations of their appearances allow for nice varied silhouettes to make them distinctive from one another on a way thats not present in the actual show!

(and caboose is big for hugs! thats just a constant!)

okay. so. i actually have a few ways i interpret this au?

number one is a bit more freeform, bc its just inserting the cast into hollownest while the knight and everything else is taking place in the peripherals. i think this one could have some really fun interactions with canon events. maybe the bgc is just scraping by somewhere, maybe howling cliffs?

version two is more a replacement au! church replaces the knight and oh god oh noi like this one bc theres a lot of potential with the absolute bullshit these guys could cause, and also carolina as hornet. just think abt it. church is so much less.. capable? then the knight, so he gets an entourage of idiots helping him scrape by all the shit that happens in game canon. hes really not a great vessel for the job, considering hes complete dogshit at combat. i dont even think he has a nail. how did he even last this long jesus christ. either way he probably pulls a s13 epsilon type sacrifice in the end hyuuuuuu

basically, both ways, church is just a very lucky vessel thats just been wandering around. maybe being out in the wastes fucked with his mind, bc he thinks hes actually a normal bug. much like the knight, i think he gets called back by potentially the radiance, not that he really understands this. theres something to be said about being not quite a facsimile of a person and walking around thinking youre normal, only for events to tell you, quite suddenly, that you are not. also church can do weird void shit and possess bugs, which is the only way he can potentially talk. church tries his damndest to get his point across otherwise

id say more abt the rest of the reds and blues, but i think im gonna post more abt them and some other sketches ive done in other posts! basically ive thought abt this au a lot 

(and sorry if this reads kinda disjointed)

[wilsonsnest]

winter, Sweetheart - VII

A moment we’ve all been waiting for. Riley meets Sam. Steve meets Bucky. Tony is reasonably upset about hiding a supersoldier assassin in his basement.

warnings: hurt/comfort, trauma, bad medical practices

“Just so we’re clear.” Tony says with his arms folded over his chest, looking quite skeptically at the sight in front of him. He doesn’t look at Riley, even as he addresses him. “We have one half toe co-dependent ex-assassins staying in our basement and that was totally cool with everyone? Interesting that none of them are here to deal with this if he decides to return to his day-job.”

Riley glances at him, his mind still trying to wrap his head around what was happening enough that he wasn’t as offended as he should be. To be honest, Tony was probably the last person to be qualified to deal with this problem. Natasha, Steve, hell, probably even Clint knew more about Hydra’s whole deal than Tony Stark. But they were all pretty indisposed at the moment. Steve ran off to try and track Bucky, Natasha was still dealing with the fallout of Project Insight’s destruction.

Riley let out a long sigh before looking back at the make-shift room where Sam was currently staying. The storage room had been cleared of weapons, and converted into a holding room for their incoming guest. There was a bed,  a light-switch that could be activated from inside or outside the room and sterile white walls. Other than the transparent blue field that let them see Sam, but Sam couldn’t see them. It probably wasn’t the most ethical thing in the world, but they were kind of rushed for time. Natasha had said the situation was pretty dire.

And it had been. Riley had been on the Quinjet when they arrived in Romania. Sam had passed out, and he looked practically on the verge of death. Trying to move him had resulted in him whimpering and curling into himself until they gave him a sedative and quickly loaded him up. Riley hadn’t been more than a foot away from Sam at any time until they got to Avenger’s Tower.

He had taken some time to collect himself, paced on his floor (Tony had insisted that he needed a floor), debated calling Mama Wilson, realized that was actually he worst thing to do before Tony finally called him down to where Sam was.

Now the both of them are just observing, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It all seemed way too easy. Sam was lying on the bed, stiff as a board and staring up at the ceiling. If he sensed them, he didn’t acknowledge it, and if he was upset or confused he didn’t show it. To be honest, his behavior was frightening. Compliant in a way that seemed inhuman. At least the times they had fought, Sam had been determined to kill him.

Riley hears Tony suck in air throw his teeth. He’s flustered, but Riley can tell he’s also concerned. While Stark hadn’t been involved in the Exo-7 Falcon project, Rhodes knew about it. And when Rhodes was concerned about something, Tony got concerned about something. It was sort of sweet.

“Nat said the Winter Soldier,” Riley can’t quite bring himself to call him Bucky or James or whatever. “left him on purpose.”

“Yes, and the purpose could be homicide, but what do I know.” Tony mutters irritably. He reaches up to scratch is beard. “Just looking out for the health and safety of the two of who actually stayed behind and oh, the entire population of New York if he gets loose.”

Riley knows that Tony is just overreacting because he doesn’t know what else to do, but its starting to grate at his nerves. “I don’t think he’s really in much of a state to be a threat.”

Oh yeah, he’s totally adorable and harmless.” Tony rolls his eyes. But then something softens in his gaze and his shoulders slump a little as they watch Sam. “Anyway. If I’m going to take a look at his damage, one of us has gotta get him talk. Wing-packs? Easy. This,” He whistles low. “I may have to brush up my cyber-bionic neurology.”

“Yeah, right.” Riley says, only half listening. “Can I talk to him?”

“I mean you can try.” Tony gestures toward the blue transparent field. He says Sam should just see another blank wall where they are, but theres really no way to tell just what enhancements he has. “Just walk on through, Birdman. You’re all bio-coded up.”

It’s a testament to how focused Riley is that he doesn’t even throw tony a look over the nickname. Maria Hill suggested the codename as a joke and now its made the rounds. He’ll worry about changing it before it gets to the press after he figures out how to get his best friend back.

He takes a deep breath, shifts nervously from one foot to the other before walking forward. He’s trying not to shake, trying to access the calm, laser-tight focus he had during missions. It’s not really working. He’s seen some shit in his time, but nothing like this. He almost freezes as a brief flash of memory appears in his mind. Sam, digging his claws into Riley’s chest, his face blank and void of recognition.

He forces himself through the barrier and into the room before he can panic. Tries to remember the breathing exercises that his therapist showed him, takes a look at Sam’s face and immediately forgets. His heart is pounding against his chest, and it hurts to even look at him like this. He looks so similar to the day he fell, painfully young, though the bags under his eyes tell a different story.

He steps closer, purposely making his footsteps loud as to not alarm Sam. He readies himself for an attack, but it doesn’t come. In fact, Sam doesn’t even seem to register is presence at first. He waits for a moment, unsure and to his relief Sam makes the first move. The other man turns his head, looking back to be able to see Riley peripherally. His face is fixed impassively, but Riley can see the slightest twitching his eyes as he analyzes him. He feels like a bug under a magnifying glass, and despite Sam’s sickness, he’s the one who feels powerless.

“Hey, Sam.” Riley starts off soft and gentle. He doesn’t like the dynamic of standing above Sam, and he slowly takes a knee. He’s sure Tony is probably freaking out, but putting Sam at ease is the most important thing right now. “You….” His mouth feels dry. “You don’t know me, do you?”

Sam’s face doesn’t move, and for a brief second their eyes lock until Sam’s gaze drifts away. Riley swallows, and he feels heat prickling the back of his neck. He isn’t sure what he wants to hear. If Sam does know him, it means he’s tried to kill him twice on purpose. He doesn’t know which possibility is worse.

When Sam says nothing, Riley finds himself overcome with emotion. Keeping it together is impossible, and his body shakes as tears begin to well up in his eyes.

“Samuel Wilson,” The last time Riley’s said his name like that was the day they met. He isn’t crying, but its a sure thing soon. “Y’know, when I first heard your name I knew you’d be the most stuck-up, stickler for rules in the world. Then you introduced yourself, had this dumb smile and said ‘call me Sam’. You were so fucking nice, I was pretty sure you were doomed.”

It’s so fatalistic now, that Riley sort of hates his past self for even jokingly thinking it. He pauses, searching Sam’s face for any sign of recognition. He nearly chokes on his own gasp when Sam slowly sits up, turning to face Riley on the bed. His face hasn’t changed, but now he’s watching Riley with rapt attention.

“Turns out you were the best of us. You got into the program because you wanted to save people. The rest of us dummies just wanted to do something crazy.” He’s saying too much, but he’s hoping that anything will spark some recognition. He doesn’t care if he has to sit here and tell training stories for days if it means Sam remembers something. “The other six dropped out, but I knew I wanted to stay with your noble ass. Knew we’d do something great together, or at the very least I’d stop you from doing something stupid.” Tears are falling now, and he doesn’t care. “I did save your ass a few times, and you saved me. I just couldn’t… “

He takes a deep breath, he feels shattered and stripped bare. He wants to scream, he wants to run but Sam’s looking at him and it has to mean something. “I’m so sorry, Sam.”

Sam tilts his head, very slowly, as if he is considering Riley for the first time. Theres a new light in his eyes, and he squints at him. His hands move from where they were at his side, and move to his lap, twitching like he wants to twist them together. Everything movement he makes is so careful, and calculating.

Like he’s a machine.

No. It’s not that at all.

Like he’s afraid.

“Riley.” Sam says the word like it’s foreign, like his lips and tongue have never made those sounds before. Sadness turns to anger and it burns sourly in Riley’s stomach. “I used to have wings like yours. They,” He moves his hands apart. “Come off.”

“Yeah, Sammy, they could.” Riley whispers, his voice cracking slightly. He hasn’t quite seen the extent of the damage done to Sam’s back, but he knows it’s not pretty. “They weren’t anything like,” It takes him a second, the anger making him bite out. “Whatever those Hydra bastards did to you.”

Sam suddenly sits up straight, his hands curl into fists on his thighs. “The Falcon.” It’s almost a whisper, like he’s suddenly remembered something.

Riley’s brows knit together. “You remember the Exo-7 Falcon program..”

Sam cuts him off. “No, that’s what they did.” His eyes are very far away. But then he looks at Riley, his brown eyes no longer vacant, he looks haunted. “I am The Falcon. I need to be with The Soldier. I need to-“

He stops suddenly with a moan and brings a hand to his head. Riley scrambles over to him on his knees, no longer caring about the potential backlash of his sudden movements. He reaches out and puts a steadying hand on Sam’s knee, trying to soothe, trying to understand.

“I’m The Falcon.” Sam whispers, he grinds the heel of his palm into his forehead and leans forward. “No, I’m Sam.” Beads of sweat begin to appear on his forehead and he shakes his head. “I’m Sweethe-“

He slumps forward, and Riley catches him before he can slide off the bed. He pulls Sam into his lap, tremblings hand feeling his forehead. His eyes are tightly closed, and he starts to shake in Riley’s arms.

“Tony!” Riley calls out, and he finds he’s too upset to try and get them both up. He hears the soft hiss of the forcefield deactivating and hears Tony coming for them. He just holds onto Sam, and cries. He’s so much lighter in Riley’s arms than he should be.

xxx

“You caught up to me.” Bucky whispers it out to the water, doesn’t urn around to look at Steve. He’s known since he left Bucharest that the other man has been following him, and he’s known since the beginning of this week they’d end of meeting soon. Steve was giving him time to get his head together before approaching. Sweet sentiment, but misplaced if he thought it would take a few months to get this all back together. He’s only just convinced himself that calling himself Bucky actually feels okay.

He’s led them to a small abandoned dock near a fishing village in Spain. The sun is setting over the water, and it’s almost peaceful. He likes it here the best of all the places he’s been so far. Theres a small community Bucky has integrated himself into. The people here don’t ask questions. He speaks their language and buys plenty from the locals. One grandmother has been letting him stay in her barn in exchange for letting the cow and goats out in the morning.

That’s all over with now.

He takes a deep breath as he hears Steve get closer, stopping a few feet away. He wonders if it’s because Steve is nervous, or if he thinks Bucky is nervous. It could be some of both, really.

“I knew where you were the whole time, Buck.” Steve confesses quietly as if Bucky didn’t know that. “Just figured I’d give you some space.”

But not too much.

“Following me to make sure I don’t kill anyone?” Bucky tries for lighthearted, but he just sounds tired. He’s sure he used to be better at making jokes.

“Natasha told me you don’t do that anymore.” Steve says, and of course that was all he needed. Bucky supposes she would know best. “I would have waited for you to come to me..” He trails off, uncertain.

Bucky frowns and considers that. Suddenly, a shiver runs down his spine and his breath catches in his throat. He turns to face Steve so quickly he has to catch himself. He carefully schools to his face to hide the growing panic he feels. Right, theres only one reason why Steve would come to him like this. “It’s Swe- Sam. What happened? Is he okay?” His questions are clipped, and he’s trying to hide the fear in his voice.

It’s obviously not working, as Steve raised his hands placatingly. He looks worried, but the heavy weariness of someone who delivers fatalistic news isn’t present. Bucky relaxes. Marginally.

“He’s in bad shape, Buck.” Steve admits, and lowers his hands. “Tony thinks he can help him, if he knows what he’s dealing with. “His face scrunches a little like he’s trying to remember something difficult. “Hydra did some crude work creating, uh, making his brain work with his wings. People wren’t meant to have wings, so they just,” Steve winces as he continues. “Hot-wired his brain essentially.”

Bucky’s jaw clenches and his hands curl into fists at his side. Of course, giving something a prosthetic arm was one thing, but they gave Sam something he was never meant to have. He remembers Sam stumbling in the field like a baby bird, each time because of course his brain didn’t know what to do with itself. He wonders how many people’s brains they took apart before they could get it to stay.

“If we can find the plans, any plans. Any information at all about how they did it. Tony can help Sam.” Steve sounds so sure and determined. It tickles something familiar in the back of Bucky’s brain that he quickly files away. Theres no time for that when Sweetheart needs him.

“I know where they are.” Bucky says as he walks toward Steve. “I’ll get them for you.”

“Wait!” Steve grasps Bucky’s shoulder before he can pass. Steve lets him go before Bucky can grab him and throw him to the ground. Instead the ex-assassin raises his fists, a hard glint in his eye. “Sorry, Bucky, sorry. I just.. I’ll go with you. I don’t want you to go alone.”

Bucky’s lip curls into sneer. “Afraid I’ll revert back?”

“No.” Steve says patiently, his eyes are wide and imploring. So fucking honest. “No, I don’t want you seeing anything that might upset you and have to go through it alone. I want to help you and I want to help Sam.”

Bucky stares at him for a long time. Steve’s blue eyes are earnest and steady. Bucky recognizes that he can’t trust him, not really, but he kind of wants to. At least this gives him a direction, a task. He can figure the rest out later. Besides. “Fine. I know you’ll just show up there anyway.” He rolls his eyes and stalks off. “Let’s go.”

[lehhoh7822]

i know that currently cprimeboys posting is forbidden and such however! i want to get this idea down, and context is important. but if one wishes to avoid it because it also is like. funky fucked up. there is a cut. cws for gaslighting, physical and emotional abuse, programming in a trauma sense, allusions to irl abuse situations

do you know like, machine learning? how you get an AI to observe and participate in something until it can algorithymically pick up on things? (in theroy)

that’s this AU, it’s like. exile but cdream has got ctommy to a point where he can be convinced that he’s just an AI and cdream is the master programmer whos gonna make him fit the circuit, however, how he fits in the circuit is extremely unclear and thats because its abuse right? your abuser is unpredictable and thats one part of the awful

so things like remembering and talking about the past is Forbidden Behaviour (tm), behaviour that could come off as traumatised or neurodivergent is Forbidden Behaviour, reacting “wrong” (read: you literally cannot win) is Forbidden Behaviour, being messy, speaking too loudly, not speaking enough, wanting things, whining or “physically whining” (something like shivering, coughing or bleeding), being too emotional, not being emotional enough, not reacting fast enough, not being able to fall asleep, inability to remain silent, not making enough noise, daydreaming, being too robotic, being too human

thats to say that ctommy cant win and he’s forced to live in these monotonous repetitive situations where he has to do the same things over and over and over and if he breaks a rule and “deviates from the code” he gets killed, and then immediately revived to do it again. these situations also are impossible, some are physically impossible like moving things that are bolted to the ground or emotionally impossible without breaking a rule

alongside this, he’s taught that everything really is like. its like a bug in his memory, oh no, tubbo? oh you mean that bug in your code i had to remove? and due to the ability to warp memories with the whole die revive process tommy believes it. all of his positive memories turn into like, oh that was a delusion back when i was glitching and ruining the program. good thing now im being corrected, if i can just learn how to be perfect and fit into this world correctly...

i want maybe maybe maybe if i was to work with another two chaeacters- which i might! i just dont have any in fandom that have such a resonant depiction of abuse at the moment and i really dont want to make some. if i was to work with other characters, emotional abuse would get a far bigger note as. the punishment because i just. idk the only storys you see about this stuff is like “oh he lit him on fire!!” so its really clear it was abuse but i think that really misrepresents a lot of abuse while that definitely does exist, i would like just one with “oh he called him a bitch and said that he’s useless and threw his art on the floor” even if not specificlaly here

other screwed up things:  -either he gets trained to go into a dissciative state for long periods and it adds to the whole “piece of code that can be activated and deactivated by me” and here is where anything is cleaned so he can be gaslit better OR he’s forced to always be moving and always be doing work so theres no break, maybe both.  -he’s kept perpetually understimulated like even if not nd then just in general loss of interaction, touch staravation, the world around him is grey, all the food is lukewarm and made to only stimulate eating while he’s given just below the vitamins and nutrients to survive -whenever he seems to breakdown breakdown cdream is all there, suddenly he’s so close and so loving and he’s just doing his best and you’re breaking his heart and your touch starvation would do anything for a hug from anyone who says they love you, no he never did that, no he never would, honeslty thouse are some pretty fucked up lies tot tell about someone who loves you- you get the idea -tommy is never starving completely (but he could starve himself if he thought it would made dream happy and dream will just watch) and never completely lacking in sleep and he always gets revivied immediately so its the whole uhhh “starving children in a third world country that i wont specify because like who cares this is such an awful adage to start with let alone dragging down some random people” mindset -everyone thinks hes dead like you can have this be a one shot or a whole “help tommy out” fic but you know to be personal with you friends readers and besties those always made me feel... frustrated so idk. 

in the case of giving tommy a happier ending, idk what i would do. dont have ti be deliberate. have like. dream goes missing eventually tommy has to stumblr into town where an old face tries to reconnect but realise it wont work. let him stay at thier house. let him get treated kindly. and i hope that he, without siblings to worry about, without a foster care system or an interconnected system to lose- i hope tommy, with only this trauma to anxchor him to dream, would leave. 

dont have a “save tommy” plot those piss me off. if you write this i know no one will i might. 

idk enjoy

[captain-spookycandycollecti-blog]

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unemployment insurance quote

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United States

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unemployment insurance quote

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Info on car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

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lets say i want ten policy's worth 750,000 each why would this be a problem as long as u had the money to pay the Premium and you tell each company the truth.....""

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Which insurance company is the best to work for as an agent?..Allstate,American Family,Statefarm,Nationwide...etc""

What is the best and most affordable auto insurance company?

I have a 1997 geo metro, I don't drive much everything is around me and I work out of my house, I just want basic coverage at a cheap rate.""

How much is a male 17 year old new driver going to have to pay for car insurance?

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Cheap motorcycle insurance in Kansas for a 21 year old male?

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I am currently 17 years old. I will be turning 18 in early November and my family does not have health insurance. I was wondering if I qualify for anything that will be able to get me low-cost braces or anything orthopedic. My family makes not that much money anf I am currwntly going to be a full-time college student. What insurance or health care would I qualify for? I have been needing braces for a while now and I am really self conscious about my teeth I hate to smile. Thank you on your help.

Will my car insurance rates increase? Please help?

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Insurance for learner drivers?

I am going to put on the insurance of my Granny's brand new Kia Picanto next month to practise driving as well as having lessons. My grandparents, parents & me are going to be insured and I just wanted to know what the cheapest insurance company for learner driver's were. I have already used comparethemarket.com but some were very expensive. Are there any cheap insurance companies for learner drivers? I am aged 17""

Where can I get an affordable liability insurance for my new cleaning business in California?

I'm trying to open a new residential cleaning business. I already got a quote from state farm but it was way too expensive. 2500 dollars per year. I'm new in this, so, I ...show more""

How much does car insurance cost for a 17 year old male? Just liability not collision?

I live in Baton Rouge Louisiana

Do i Need Car Insurance?

If i drive my moms car and the car has insurance and my parents both do and i don't have my own and i get in a accident or get pulled over. what will happen to me and my parents? and also i am 16 and just got my license. my parents have AAA insurance and we live in Michigan. My parents do not want to add me on the policy, so can i still drive the car or can i get in big trouble?""

Vehicle hit while parked will insurance rate go up????

I get a call from my girlfriend that on the way to the train she saw my car was smashed -Bumper , fender , Headlight need to be replaced The car was parked at the time. Gessing this would be considered a hit and run?Wll insurance rates go up if i put in a claim?????""

""Can I report my (former) car insurance to someone, Texas?""

I was insured with a cut rate car insurance company because I needed a SR22 for no insurance from many, many, years ago that finally did catch up to me just now. Anyway, I was having my payment drafted out of my debit card each month. Well a few days before my insurance was due I realized that I unexpectedly was going to be short. It was due one day & I didn't get paid for another 2 days. So I called up my agent & explained the situation & asked if my policy had a grace period? They put me on hold to check. They came back on the telephone & said yes I had 7 days from the date it was due. They said I would be fine cause I got paid 2 days later. Well I go back up there a couple of days later to make my payment. Mind you, I'm still well w/in the grace period. The computer would not take my payment. The agent made a call, then spoke to someone, & then informed me my insurance was dropped for lack of payment. I was like whoa I was told I had a full week grace period She said to me Well, when you called you didn't inform us that you had your insurance drafted from your debit card. I was like A) Y'all didn't ask when I called & B) How in the world would I know to tell you that? Especially since y'all never asked. They basically said Oh well. She did make it clear that if I had not had auto drafting that the grace period would still stand. Maybe I'm clueless but I never had an incident where I was ever late on my car insurance. Now my DL is suspended. I don't know if this place gets a kick back by starting over my insurance w/a whole new policy. If I had had started over again the rate would jump & I would have to repay them to refile my SR22. Is that legal?? Like I said what do I know????""

Can I Switch my Auto Insurance to Full Coverage Just To Get It Fixed????????????????

Currently I have liability auto insurance and i hit a deer. I have a really nice car but can't afford to get it repaired at the moment.(THE DAMAGES COSTS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!) Is there anyway that i can switch my car insurance to FULL COVERAGE JUST to get it fixed????? I heard that some people get full coverage and are able to fool the insurance company into paying for there damages, BUT HOW. IS THAT REALLY POSSIBLE WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT. IF SO , PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW. I REALLY LOVE MY CAR, BUT CAN AFFORD TO GET IT FIXED. I REALLY NEED SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""

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The best personal & affordable health insurance plans in Michigan that offer around 70% coverage?

I am looking for insurance for my boyfriend. He is almost 30 & works for a small business that does not offer an insurance plan. He especially needs dental and vision but would also ...show more

Does auto insurance cover theft of vehicle if you leave keys in car?

i got my car stolen from my home driveway in the middle of the night. i carry full coverage with $500 deductible and also gap (guaranteed asset protection) but could not find my keys the next morning either. i feel sure i could not have left them in the car (08 accord) because it dings extremely loud and that is something that i never do. i always lock my car and i am mystified as to where the keys are. i am concerned that my policy will not cover me if it is determined that keys may likely have been in the vehicle. thoughts or advice?

Cheapest Car to insure for a 17 yr old new driver?

What is the cheapest small car to insure for a 17 year old who's just passed their test? I believe the model can affect the price too eg - SX, GL?""

What is the average house insurance cost in Canada?

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Please let me know, Which is cheaper on insurance for a new driver, a 1995 ford f150 single cab 2 wheel drive, or a 1993 honda civic dx coupe? please don't tell me to get a quote, I will later. just give me an idea please....thanks guys and gals!!!""

Advice on Insurance policys?

What policy's is best for someone in full time work - single - no kids -No debt.- rented Accommodation - in 30s How would you list these policy's of being important. There maybe a policy missed out if so please send me some advice.. Private Health Insurance Income Protection Life Insurance Accident, sickness and unemployment Private Pension Critical Illness Insurance""

My son who is 17 has to appear in the magistrates court for driving my car without a full licence or insurance?

He has never been in any sort of trouble before and is usually a good kid. What sort of punishment can we expect to receive? We are soo afraid! We are in the UK

How long on workers comp can you keep you health insurance from your work?

i mean like for things not related to my work injury? how long do they have to keep my job for me?

Is A Ford Mustang a good car for a 16 year old?

Im 16 and Im getting my license in a couple of months. Im looking for a car and I really like mustangs. Im thinking about buying a 2003 or 2004 mustang in sonic blue. But will getting a mustang raise my insurance a lot and how much more than a normal car? Also, what mileage is bad on a mustang?""

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

Non owners policy insurance in CA?

i'll be using my parents' car, which is in IN, in california, it already has insurance, but i'll be going to CA and probably stay there for some time (around a year) and use their car, im 18. So does buying a non owners policy insurance save me, since they will still pay for regular insurance on car plus the non owner that i'll purchase? any advice? since if i'll buy my own policy the numbers are 500/mo or more. So im thinking if i buy a non owners insurance lets say at 1200/yr, plus their regular coverage it'll save some money. any advice will be greatly appreciated or it is illegal?""

How much would it cost for a 17 year old to insure a.....?

How much would it cost for a 17 year old to insure a 2007 VAUXHALL CORSA VXR TURBO 1,598 cc""

Insurance Rates?

What's the best I can expect to pay for insurance monthly if I have a reckless driving ticket (-2 points) for speeding in California and am 20 years old? I have no accidents or other tickets. Any other 20 year olds out there in a similar situation what is your insurance premium?

My medicaid that i used for my pregnancy had expired...? here in texas?

back in august of 2011 & i no longer have insurance. what do i do now? i called my health plan & they said i gotta apply again but i don't know where i can get the application. i really need insurance cause i got upcoming appointments for me & if i don't have insurance, i'm not gonna be able to afford the expenses. anyone know where i can get the application for medicaid here in texas?""

Is it normal for a teen to pay insurance before owning a car?

My boyfriend (since he got his license at 16 before he had his own car) has been paying $200 a month on insurance because his parents said he had to. My question is, did he have to pay insurance even when he didnt own a car?""

How much it costs for car insurance in london for 20 yrs old?

How much it costs for car insurance in london for 20 yrs old?

Car insurance per month?

I was just wondering if any one could give me a close estimate on how much car insurance would cost a month if you drove a 2003 Cadillac CTS & were 16 years old. The car is used. Please don't say depends what insurance company you have. Thank you.

Insurance companies (health insurance)....need help?

hello, anyone know anything about insurance companies? meaning how do they make their money? to to setup? for example a health insurance company.... what does it exactly do? how hard is it to setup? tried searching the net on how to setup a health insurance company, no help...thanks""

What is the most affordable personal medical insurance carrier you have found?

I know that no medical insurance is cheap, especially when you have to buy a personal policy not given thru your work. But, I have to get coverage for me and my husband. We just need basic insurance I guess....Like for medical and dentist visits. Have you found a more affordable insurance carrier? Or have any advice on what to look for in a new one? Thanks!""

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Cheapest car insurance companies??? help?

Me and my bf r trying to move in but his insurance rate is up the roof, he had a terrible car accident in nov. 2 speeding, 2 reckless, 1 failure to stop a light. I know its a lot but ...show more""

""Dose the bank charge insurance for car under 3,000 dollars?

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I need money for car insurance?? help?

i am almost 17 and car insurance is sky high at the moment ranging from about 3,000-9,000 i really want a car when i pass my lisense in a couple of months and can afford a car but not the insurance. any ideas on how i can raise some money, or get some funds together?? thanks in advance :)""

Who are the best car insurance companies?

Im 17 ears of age livin in the UK. I really NEED to know te best car insurance companies. Ive not passed yet but i will have soon, il only be drivin an old punto or clio or summat. ideas please people! thanks""

What is long term care insurance?

Please help me with this one. My parents are in badly need of assistance. I found this reliable website http://www.infolongtermcare.org/what-is-long-term-care. However, I need more help as much as possible.""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/computer-quote-pet-insurance-maya-arias/"

[cybertronianlovenest]

The bitch named Karma: Section 5

Jazz POV: I smirked as I walked right passed the last mech. I was digging this code! So far no one had been able to detect that I'd hacked them. Though I hadn't tried it on my creators yet. I didn't want to do that unless I had too. They were both occupied as of now though and I couldn't think of a better time to see Prowl. Star didn't want to come with this time, she was being spoiled by the trine. My peds scuffed up the dew slick grass as I ran just as fast as I could. I wanted all the time I could get with Prowl before carrier called for my return.... Prowl POV: A ping came over my com line making me frown as I didn't recognize the sender. The message was a data burst that just contained a location. My optics brightened some before a smirk caught my lips. "Already. I hadn't expected you to be that quick. Clearly I've underestimated you again my love." Confirmation was sent back before I stacked the data pads neatly on my desk and stood to go pick up Jazz.... Jazz POV: The cool water felt wonderful on my peds as they dabbled in the brook where Prowl would be picking me up at. I couldn't wait to see him again! It had only been an earth week but it felt like so much longer! Peds falls coming my way had me scrambling for cover in the event it wasn't my pick up. It was hard to see through the trees, but he'd finally stepped out and I grinned wide, darting out into the open so he could pick me up. "You are good at hiding, your color scheme works well for you too, you little Spook. Come on, before someone not as friendly as your carrier finds us. When he calls I don't want to hear any fuss this time though. I enjoy your visits but you belong with him until you're old enough to take care of yourself." I huffed. "Ah know, ah know... Carrier gave meh the same talk. He doesn't like ya much either. Think theres something he ain't telling meh too. Do ya know what it is? Ya guys were acting funny last time ya talked." That was something that had been bugging me. "I'm sure that if he didn't tell you there's a good reason. You'll just have to find out on your own Spook. Come on, the twins just made a fresh batch of energon goodies and I'm afraid there's just too many for us eat all alone." He set me down and folded into his transport mode, letting me climb into the cramped space. "I'm soon going to have to adjust my alt mode just to carry you." The seats folded down granting me room to move and we were on our way..... Prowl POV: Jazz dove from my cab as soon as we were inside and I smiled as he scrambled up into my arms. Sideswipe looked at us with his mouth hanging open a few seconds before shaking himself from his shock. "Where's the femme?" "She wanted to stay home with carrier. Starscream has her spoiled." "Jazz was quite looking forward to those fresh goodies, Sideswipe." He shook his helm as if he were trying to snap away his shock before popping open his subspace and giving me a handful. "Thanks! Did ya make them last time too? They were even better than sparker makes!" Sides grinned and roughed Jazz's helm gently. "The secret is highgrade. Takes away some of the sweetness and adds a more intense flavor. Wanna watch me make the next batch?" Jazz looked at me for a second with a goodie hanging from his mouth before shaking his helm. "Ahm OK. Ah really came to see Prowler! Ah wanna spend as much time with him as ah can before carrier notices ahm gone and calls to get meh back." I smiled, popping one of the goodies into my mouth. "What would you like to do?" He shrugged. "Don't care. Just wanna be close." Little fingers curled into my shoulders holding on as I rubbed over his back.... I grunted, as an incessant beeping sound injected itself into my recharge. Someone shifted on my chest, a low whirl of annoyance sounding before I opened my optics just as it stopped. "Go back to sleep Prowl. It's ok." Little fingers ran over my face until I caught them. Kissing each of them before I pushed my way into a sitting postion. "Nice try, Jazz. I know that's your carrier." He whined as I stepped over to my desk and returned the call. Megatron answered on the first ring, his arms crossed over his chest. "You've managed to give me the slip for the last time Jazz. It is not safe for you to be running about. Bring him, I'll meet you the same place as last time." Then he hung up and Jazz flailed his arms around glaring at the screen. "Ahm still gonna get away and come see ya! He can't keep meh locked up forever!" I smiled and kissed his helm. "I'm sure you will. I look forward to it Spook.".... Jazz POV: I grinned wide, running for the door only to find it locked. My grin slowly faded as I tugged at the handle. It wouldn't budge though. "Carrier! Why's the door locked?" He made a noise and picked me up. "Because you can't be trusted to stay put. Your access to outside is now limited, you won't go anywhere without me or your Sparker with you." My mouth fell open and I felt panic settling in. "But how will ah see Prowl?!" Carrier tucked me into his arms as he walked away from my freedom. "How indeed." My optics darted around the hall watching everything. Someone had forgotten to close the door. It was only feet away, I just had to get there before anyone could catch me. Finally with a last deep vent I charged the doors. A cry of victory escaping, only to turn to panic as I was snatched by my scuff bar. "No! Let meh go!" I kicked out at who ever had me, hearing a clang before I snapped angry optics to the mech I now realized was my carrier. It didn't make a difference. If anything it served to add fuel to my rage. I swung at him and his optics got so bright as I punched him chest. Then narrowed but I didn't care. I wanted Prowl! "That was not called for. You're going on time out." "Ah want Prowl! Let meh go! Let meh go! Ahm not gonna fuel until ah see him again!" "Then you will be very hungry. Let's go." I fought as hard as I could against him but it was all in vain since I was shut in my room anyhow.... Megatron POV: I sighed, stopping at the time out room. Jazz had locked our bond up and he had not come out since yesterday even though I left the door open. He's was sitting on the bed, the tray of fuel and energon goodies still on the table. "You must fuel Jazz." He didn't even flinch and I vented. He would have to work through his tantrum on his own, giving in would only make it worse next time... This was getting rediculous. This was the third earth cycle Jazz had refused his fuel and it was beginning to effect Starchime. She had refused to move from my lap all day and hadn't stopped crying since this morning. With a growl I stood up and walked to the room to find Jazz slumped over on the bed pushing a goodie around the tray. "Eat that. Now." He snorted. "Or what? Can't do nothing worse than ya already did..." My denta clenched as I set my femmeling down to run over into his arms sobbing. "Drink that cube or I'll sit on you until you do." His optics darted to mine and he finally picked it up. Then dumped it the floor without breaking optics. "Jazz! You are testing my patients." He didn't say anything else, just held Star, smoothing over her helm. I was at my wits end, he needed to fuel. If he didn't it could damage his systems being so young. There couldn't be more than fumes in his tank and I wasn't about to let it get any worse. My subspace popped open and I grabbed a cube I was saving for lunch. Jazz's optics narrowed as they met mine. Enough was enough. I caught his arm, managing to hold him down but he locked his denta together. Both of his hands were caught in one of mine as Starchime sobbed loudly. She wasn't calmed down by our bond at all and she kept trying to push me off Jazz. I finally caught his jaw he was doing such a good of keeping away from me and forced it open. The cube was tipped just slightly trickling energon down his intake until it was only half full. "I wish you wouldn't have made me do that Jazz... I don't want to fight you..." He's jerked away from me and I let go, only for him to land on his knees and purge his tank. The fresh energon was tinged with proceed and I knew he'd torn a seal or two. "Jazz!..." His frame trembled all over he let out a scream that had me tugging him into my arms. Our bond was knocked open forcefully and pain flooded over to me from his side making me gasp. His vents whirled and hitched unevenly and the way his optics flickered sent my spark into panic and I ran clear to the medbay.... A shaky vent got out as I rubbed Starchime's back as much to comfort her as myself. My little mech had very nearly starved himself right into deactivation. I would not be underestimating him again. "Megatron should send for Prowl." I heaved a vent. "If I give in it will be worse next time..." "If Megatron does not give in there may not be a, next time. Fracture nearly offlined and is only still active because he's on an energon drip. He's clearly more determined than you. Is losing him worth winning?" Soundwave looked at me from where he was hanging another bag of processed energon on the pole connected to my mechling. My jaw clenched before I set his twin down with him and went to my office..... Prowl POV: I sighed, rubbing at my chest. The ache was getting harder and harder to ignore. I'd already been to Ratchet and he couldn't find anything wrong with me at all. That didn't help though. If there wasn't anything wrong with me, maybe it was Jazz. I didn't want to think that, but I couldn't think of another reason. My monitor went off suddenly, jolting me from my thoughts. I hit the button to answer and was surprised to see Megatron. "Its Jazz, isn't it? My spark has been aching the last few cycles." His optics brightened and he slowly nodded. "He is in the medbay on an energon drip." I sighed. "Will he be ok? I want to be aloud to see him. It can be on your conditions, but I want to see he's OK." The mech wiped a hand down his face. "I've actually just talked to my brother. I misjudged how deeply Jazz felt for you. For 3 cycles he had refused to fuel on his own because I would not allow him to see you. He nearly offlined himself. I am willing to do what ever it takes to get you here. I will not lose him." This time my optics brightened before I heaved a sigh. "He is just as hard helmed as always. He's lucky he's not older. I'd kick his aft for being a glitch. I will meet you at the usual spot and you can take me in to avoid any misunderstandings." He nodded and cut off the feed as I stood in time for my door to open. "I trust my brother contacted you." "Yes. Jazz nearly starved himself to deactivation because Megatron would not allow him to see me. He requested that I come on Jazz's behalf so he's would not do something so foolish again." Optimus stepped out of the door way, letting me out and I raced from the base.... Megatron was waiting in the small clearing when I skidded into it. "You didn't waste time." "I would have been faster but there was an accident and I had to run for several miles where traffic was backed up." He nodded, and grabbed my scuff bar, going straight up before transforming catching me on his alt. "Hold on Autobot." "No problem. I don't intend to fall off.".....