#they dont seem clueless about tech and stuff

[gifti3]

every lucifer is like old man coded huh

[uncle-chambo]

So for the chick flicks (fuck I forgot to warn you for spoilers I'm so sorry):

They are your stereotypical mean girl "I only care about boys" movies, but there are reasons on why I specifically like the ones I listed.

Clueless has Cher Horowitz as the main character, and she was kind of a snob in the beginning of the movie, but I like the fact that she gets better, and she becomes more self aware of the way she treats people. Also because it was a high school movie from early on, and those rarely ever have rich girl protagonists that mean well. Cher was a darling, she was honestly a nice girl, especially as the movie progressed. I try not to think about the fact that she ended up with her step brother, because I like everything about the movie except that (okay wait, I also dont like Dionne and her boyfriend's relationship), because it was pretty good! Also its funny and I LOVED Cher and Dionne's sense of fashion. I wasn't a fan of the gay stereotype that Christian was, but it was a movie from the 80s. Didn't expect too much.

Mean Girls, was pretty toxic but the movie is very funny to me. Besides, I liked Tina Fey's character. And I LOVE Karen Smith. So yeah, I just watch it for laughs mainly.

10 things I hate about you was just there as an example tbh, it SUCKED. Its just that they are in the same category.

A Cinderella story, was based off Cinderella except if she was a more realistic girl and I liked that. Besides Jennifer Coolidge was playing the stepmom, and anything Jennifer Coolidge plays is HILARIOUS. I also liked the fact that, apart from the fact that Sam (main character- basically Cinderella) finds a cool boyfriend, she also finds solidarity with the people she was forced to work with. She was a kind person to them, and Rhonda girlbossed SO HARD. She served so much cunt, there was no one cooler than her in that entire movie.

Now saving the best for last. Legally Blonde.

I dont think I ever have, and ever will, watch a chick flick as amazing as legally blonde. Elle Woods inspires me to do everything that I do today. So basically, Elle Wood's dumb boyfriend breaks up with her when she thinks he'll propose. His reasoning? He is going to Harvard and cant be seen with a dumb blonde. So Elle Woods gets into Harvard (what like its hard) and nobody takes her seriously because she likes girly shit. She likes pink, loves fashion, and even has a fucking poodle she is always carrying around. But she doesnt back down because they dont take her seriously. She ACES law school, completes a case without revealing her client's secret, and even helps her nail tech get out of a bad relationship. Guess who plays her nail tech? JENNIFER FUCKING COOLIDGE. I love this movie so much, because in most chick flicks the bad girl is seen as a girl into feminine shit, and they make her dumb and she only ever cares about boys and is NOT a girls girl. Elle Woods is the exact opposite of that stereotype, she is SMART, she is NICE, AND SHE LIKES FEMININE SHIT. It really helped me actually be happy with myself and feel more comfy with liking feminine shit. She proved to people time and time again that she was worth it because she is a girl who likes girly stuff, and is such a role model. And this movie was made in 2001!! Most early 2000s movies were all about girls backstabbing each other, or overthrowing the evil bitchy blonde (mean girls is a perfect example of this) but this movie is different and I love it, and I will forever stan Elle Woods.

So yeah watching a movie like those with a friend seems like a very good experience- watching a genre of movies I like with a person I like.

@screams-into-my-void here ya go

You know what would be super cool? If I got to sit down with a friend/lover and binge watch "girly" movies. Like imagine watching the entirety of the Barbie movie collection with a friend. Imagine watching Clueless, Mean Girls, 10 things I hate about you, LEGALLY BLONDE, A Cinderella Story etc with a lover. LIKE???

[marvelstuff-n-buckyfluff]

Avengers on the day your water breaks

This may be totally scientifically inaccurate but oh well here goes

Tony 

You grunted as you stepped down the stairs, careful not to fall. You could barely see the steps over your belly so you were holding tightly to the railing as you took a step at a time. You were about to take the last step when you felt something loosen in your hooha. You looked down and your eyes widened to see a yellowish liquid on the last step. You had no idea what was about to happen next. This was your first child and you sure as hell knew the baby daddy was just as clueless as you.

Tony was in the kitchen, eating and working on some designs for his tech when he heard you call.

“Uhh, Tony?! Come here come here come HERE!” He scrambled off the chair, the sound of papers flying and the chair skidding on the floor, filling the room. He ran around the corner to the sound of your frantic voice and stopped when he saw you bracing your stomach. 

“Please don’t tell me-”

“Tony my water broke! Oh my god, it’s time!” You gulped. Tony remained frozen in place, his mouth gaping and eyes wide as saucers. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING THERE, GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL, GENIUS!!!” You shrieked. Finally, he snapped out of it, only to say something so incredibly stupid.

“C-crap, that was today?! C-C-Can we postpone it??” You froze in your tracks. You almost missed it, and you wish you did, but you heard it. Your head whipped to the side to give him the most murderous glare you’d given anyone. 

With murder on your mind you quickly picked up a stray heel that was laying on the floor and threw it at him, making him flinch and lift up a leg to shield himself as it hit his side. “YOW! OKay okay I’m sorry! I’ll take you to the hospital!” He said, wrapping your arm around his shoulder to help carry you to the car. “Good aim by the way.” You growled at that.

“I was aiming for your neck.”

Steve

Steve had been preparing for this day for monthsss. He had drills, practicing what he’d do when your water broke and already had a list of the closest hospitals to take you to and had even prepared a plan in case you had to deliver the baby at home. You were pretty impressed at how ready he seemed.

Who knew that on the day it counted, all that would just fly out the window.

You were doing your morning stretches when you felt it break. You gasped as you felt the anxiety rise in your chest. Steve was out on his morning run, and the baby wasn’t due for another 2 weeks! You started to hyperventilate but had to calm yourself down and call Steve. This was all going to be fine.

“Hey honey, how are you feeling?”

“Steve, my water broke an I-’‘

“HHAH HHAH HHAH HHAH HHAH IM COH- IM COMING, HHAH HHAH” You winced as you heard lighting fast footsteps, frantic panting, and angry drivers honking their horns, telling Steve to get off the streets.

“St-Steve?” It was obvious that he had forgotten to hang up and was now running at top speed with his phone in his hand. “Steve you can calm down, I’m not in pain ye-”

“*BEEP BEEEEEP SKRRR! PRPHPRHORPHRPD*” You flinched harshly at the sound and your jaw dropped in shock.

“OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST GET RUN OVER?!” You shrieked. You didn’t get a response right away but you heard his footsteps thunder in the speaker again. 

“THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT JUST HANG TIGHT I’LL BE THERE IN 2 MINUTES!”

---

Steve burst through the door, heading straight towards you. He picked you up bridal style and started to run out the door. Everything happened so fast you barely had any time to process it.

‘Wait Steve!!! What are you doing?!?”

“Taking you to the hospital!” He panted. He was already halfway down the street, making your anxiety skyrocket.

“WAIT YOU’RE GONNA RUN ME THERE?!”

“YES THERE’S NO TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE.” You gasped and started to convulse in his arms to get him to stop.

“OH ABSOLUTELY NOT. WHAT THE HELL, STEVE! WE PLANNED TO TAKE THE CAR. EVERYONE TAKES THE CAR. YOU GOT RAN OVER FOR GOD’S SAKE! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’M GONNA LET YOU GET US BOTH RAMMED?!”

“Oh god you’re right!” He gasped, turning right back around and getting you settled in the car to be on your way to the hospital.

Bucky

You both had literally been so busy. You didn’t really have much time in the last few months of your pregnancy to talk about plans or anything. Of course, when you both first found out you were expecting, that was all you would talk about. But recently, you didn’t have time to check on him about those things. But you were kind of expecting Bucky to be ready and be doing the homework for this big change you both were about to experience. However as time flew by, you were so caught up in things that you had even forgotten you were 9 months pregnant. So feeling your water break caught the both of you by surprise.

You were silent for a few seconds, just staring at the liquid on the floor. The panic was slowly but surely rising at a gradual pace, feeling yourself getting more and more freaked out.

Bucky was on his phone in the living room, the football game playing on the tv as background noise. You called out to him from the kitchen. “Bucky??” No answer. “BUCKY!” That snapped him back to reality and he turned his head sideways a bit to yell back at you.

“Yeah?” 

“Uhh, my water broke!” You squeaked. Bucky furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged lightly.

“That’s okay doll, you can just sweep it up. Was it glass?” Your face scrunched up in deep confusion and you turned in the general direction of the living room. 

“What!?” 

“Was your cup of water made of glass?” He asked. Your jaw dropped at how oblivious he was to the situation. That alone was enough to make the panic go through the roof.

“BUCKY I’M GIVING BIRTH!” You yelled, stomping your foot on the ground. Bucky’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as he leaped off the couch and zoomed into the kitchen. 

“Wait WHAT? NOW!?!” He cried, running his hands through his hair and panicking. He definitely was not helping. “Ok ok ok wait! uhhh wait! just uhhh... Can you just like, hold it in?”

“WHAT THE- BUCKY!” 

“JUST UNTIL WE GET THERE! Maybe we can just like, stuff a towel in there, or like a tampon- I DONT KNOW JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP THE BABY FROM FALLING OUT UNTIL I CAN TAKE YOU TO THE-”

“DID YOU NOT READ ANY OF THE PREGNANCY AND BIRTHING BOOKS I TOLD YOU TO READ?!” You could not believe the words coming out of this man’s mouth right now. 

“I thought they were baby books to read to the baby when it came!” He cried, shrugging helplessly. Your eyes grew wide and your nose flared furiously.

“I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!”

“IM SORRY-”

Thor

You were more nervous than most people for your delivery. Any little kick, or discharge you felt, you immediately cried out for the hospital. “The baby’s coming!” stuff like that. Over the course of your pregnancy you have had many false alarms. You felt like the little boy who cried wolf and you felt bad for Thor because you would always set his nerves on fire and make him freak out when you’d say it’s happening, only for it to be a false alarm. But you couldn’t help it! You were just so nervous.

You wanted to be mad at him for not taking you seriously that day, but it was honestly your fault for all those false alarms. You could had yourself to blame.

But you’d never admit that.

---

You were digging in the pantry looking for something to munch on when you heard something splash on the floor. You cringed at the sound, still unaware of the fact that it was you. You looked around for the source of the sound and when you looked directly under you, your heart stopped. It was one of those moments where you panic so much, that you feel and act calm. So with the same stoic face, you speed waddled over to Thor, who was sitting on the couch watching a documentary. You sat next to him and looked at him with wide eyes, never once blinking. 

“Thor? My water broke.” You said. Thor chuckled, keeping his eyes on the screen, not bothering to look at you. 

“It’s fine, darling. Just another false alarm.” He hummed, patting your thigh. You shook your head as you grasped his bicep, hoping to get his attention. 

‘No, not this time, Thor. You need to believe me.” You pleaded. Thor finally looked over at you with an amused smirk. “The baby’s coming.” 

Thor scrunched his nose up and gave you an unsure smile. “Is he though??” He asked in a high pitched voice. You sighed exhasperatedly and shot up from the couch. 

“YES! HE IS! LOOK!” You yelled, grabbing him and leading him to the pantry to show him the liquid on the floor. At the sight of it and the realization of the truth, his face paled and he began to panic as well. 

“T-T-T-T-The BAby’s coming. The baby’s com-THE BABY’S COMING! ODIN’S BEARD, THE BABY’S COMING IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!” He exclaimed, his voice booming through the apartment as he carried you bridal style and took you out to the car. “Uhh, where would you like to give birth, y/n? Asgard, or- or here on Midgard?”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS, THOR? ASGARD?! WHAT, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE BIRTH ON THE RAINBOW BRIDGE?! I- NO! HERE! I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE BIRTH HERE!”

“Right, of course.”

Loki

You were not expecting your water to break right now. But to be fair, nobody knows when to expect it.

You were having a casual conversation with Loki when it happened. *sigh* 

“Loki, I really don’t see the point in having a statue of yourself built in the backyard. A bit narcissistic, don’t you think?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. Loki raised his chin up a bit with a smirk as he continued listing all the reasons why building a “small” 16 foot statue of himself in the center of your already perfect backyard was totally necessary and completely reasonable.

“Well darling, when you’re someone like me, it’s perfectly reasonable to have a statue built in your honor to appreciate your beauty and grace and to.. accentuate the divine-

*splat*

“-dear god, what was that.” Loki asked, horror masking his features as he stared at the thing that just fell out of your hooha. You looked down to see it too and you gasped, feeling nervousness form in the pit of your stomach. You were a week early. “Oh dear. Are you alright?” He asked again, still keeping his distance. “That was.... concerning...?” He continued to ask pointless questions while you sighed, annoyed, grabbing a paper towel and cleaning the spot on the floor. 

“You’re not helping, Loki. This is your child too. Takes 2 to tango.” You reminded. Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Wait, that was our child? That thing you just wiped up?” He asked, looking horrified at the thought of that possibly being his kid. You dropped your shoulders as you turned to look at him with a dead-eyed look. 

“Are you serious, Loki?” You asked, your eyes narrowed and lips turned in a disappointing frown. Loki raised his hands defensively and raised his eyebrows. 

“Is it? I’ll be here either way, but, just asking.” He shrugged. You stared at him for a full 20 seconds before shaking your head and walking past him. 

“I’ll drive myself to the hospital..” 

Scott

You don’t know how Maggie managed to give birth smoothly with Scott there. You would say you felt bad for her but now you were going through the same exact thing. You would think since Scott already had a daughter, he’d be more experienced and ready for situations like these.

Nope.

You were fixing your hair at the bathroom sink when it happened. You gasped and immediately wobbled out to the kitchen to tell Scott.

“Scott! The baby’s coming!” You yelled as you ran into the kitchen. Scott turned around from the pantry with wide eyes and a cereal box in his hand.

“...what?” He sounded so out of it. 

“The baby! She’s coming! My water broke!” You explained again, waiting for him to act fast and take you to the hospital like you deserved. Instead, you saw his eyes roll back as he fell backwards on the floor, fainting. Cocoa Puffs flying out of the box and into the air. You looked at his place on the ground in shock, your eyes wide and brows furrowed. “Scott?!”

Knocked out. 

You scoffed. “Really Scott?! Really?! This moment is supposed to be about me! And you’re the one who faints? Scott!!” You push on his shoulder to wake him up. You couldn’t believe him right now. When you need him at his best, he just dips from life.

 You groan in annoyance and grab a cup of cold water from the fridge and walk back to him. “Damn it Scott, WAKE UP!” You yell, throwing the water in his face. He immediately wakes up with a gasp and looks around in panic. 

“What! What happened? What’d I miss?” 

“My birth, Idiot! Or you will miss it if you don’t stop fainting!” You growled, helping him up. 

“Oh god, I’m not ready. phewww.” He sighs, playing with his hands nervously. 

“Oh, having second thoughts???” You ask sarcastically, raising your eyebrows at him. He stares at you for a moment, studying your features to see what he should say next that won’t get him a smack on the head. 

“Are you being sarcastic? I feel like you’re being sarcastic.” 

I’m gonna kill this man. “Just get me to the hospital, Scott.” 

“What do you think of the name Ant-tony?”

“Scott... I know you’re not thinking of naming our child after your pet ant.” 

[classycadaver]

A side blog for my main classycorpse. I'm posting any future art + writing here just cause I like making things difficult for myself. Anyways- heres a oneshot esc thing I wrote for a Post-Apocalypse esc au based around Fallout and Metro Exodus. I dont think I'll ever finish it but I was fairly proud of how the first chapter came out so I'm sharing it.

The original title for this work was "Pieces of The People We Love " and was going to follow the main plot of the founding of L'manburg up until it went boom, but through a Post Apocalyptic lense.

Reblogging is much appreciated and encouraged!

•○●○•

" Watch out for that branch. " 

    

" What bra- OH FUCK!" 

    

    Wilbur snorts at the explosive cursing behind him, smirking as he stops and turns toward Tommy. The young teen was hunched over, rubbing at his face all the while letting out a litany of curses. 

    

    " Your just a grade a fuckin' comedian, aren't ya Wilbur? '' Tommy spats venomously, glaring up at his brother. Wilbur chuckles, a genuine smile splitting across his face as he rolls his eyes. " Do you think it's funny? Trying to blind your poor, helpless, younger brother in such dire times?" Tommy adds. Wilbur notes the red line that streaks across Tommy's nose and cheek, presumably where the branch had struck him; Wilbur shakes his head as his younger brother continues to air his grievances, rolling his eyes at Tommy's overreaction. 

    

    " Well, I did warn you. Not my fault you can't follow simple commands. '' Wilbur humms back in a matter-of-factly tone. " And good job with the big words Tommy, I didn't know your vocabulary had expanded so much. Techno would be proud. " 

    

    Wilbur is already turning around, walking further along the path the two were currently traversing. Tommy fumbles with himself, trying to think of a response as he hurries after Wilbur. Tommy has to lengthen his gate to match Wilburs pace, almost fast walking to keep up with the taller man. 

    

    " I- well-.... whatever, you're a jerk, I don't have to explain myself to you. " Tommy hisses, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.  " Plus- dire isn't a big word. Anyone can say dire, bitch. " The blonde added hotly. 

     " Whatever you say, Tommy. " Wilbur chuckles, waving off his younger brother. Tommy gapes at him, taken aback at being dismissed so swiftly.  

    " Did you just wake up on the ' let's bully Tommy today' side of the bed this morning? Cause you're being a pretty big dick, Wil, not gonna lie. " Tommy grumbles, glaring holes into the back of Wilbur's head. Wil simply shrugs, letting out an exasperated noise that indicated he was clueless towards Tommy's accusations. " I have no idea what youre talking about,Toms. " Wilbur hums. " Someones just extra sensitive today it seems. " 

     Wilbur cackles when Tommy punches him in the side, a string of angry curses leaving the teens mouth. The punch had no real anger or malice behind it, but the younger boy's bony knuckles dug into Wilburs side almost painfully, leaving a sting where Tommy's fist had struck Wil's side. The taller of the two let's out a huff, a shaky, wheezing, laughter following it. 

    " This is older sibling abuse-!" Wilbur laughs. The darker haired man dodges another swing aimed toward his arm, he catches Tommy's fist in the air. Wilbur is quick to spin the agitated teenager away from him, snorting humorously as Tommy almost loses his footing. Tommy desperately tries to catch his balance less he falls head over heels into the dirt road. 

     " Fockin- What the hell do you call that, then?" Tommy yells back at Wilbur, gesturing to the open space around them. " 'Older Sibling abuse' my ass!" The blonde growls, throwing his hands in the air. Tommy stands his ground, arms crossed over his chest as he stares Wilbur down with narrowed eyes. 

    " I demand an apology. " Tommy practically growls in a haughty tone. 

    " A- you can't be serious?" Wilbur stops in his tracks, looking at Tommy with a exspression that screams 'your bullshiting me, right?'. " You started it!" Wilbur accuses, letting out an airy laugh of disbelief.  " You want me to apologize for defending myself against such a brutal attack?" 

     Tommy's gaze seemingly hardens at Wilbur's words. His brow furrows and his mouth sets into a deep frown. Wilbur finds the look downright adorable. It sparks a small nostalgic memory for wilbur, reminding him of the earlier days with his brother- when Tommy used to pout whenever things didn't go his way. Although it seems like not much has changed over the years. 

Wilbur lets out a long, drawn out sigh; a hand flies to his face, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. " Fine. " Wilbur knew that Tommy wouldn't let something as simple as this go so fast, it was best to just apologize and get it over with. Internally, Wilbur cheers himself on by being such a good older sibling. 

    " Tommy I'm sorry-" Tommy looks at Wilbur triumphantly, a smirk already replacing his frown. Wilbur suddenly narrows his eyes behind his glasses, " I'm sorry for defending myself against a rather vicious attack. " He finishes. Wilbur mirrors Tommy's fading smirk as he turns away, suddenly dismissing the teen with a simple wave of his hand. Still a totally honorable older sibling thing to do. 

     " Asshole!"

     Wilbur snickers, shoving his hands into his pockets as he hears Tommy's encroaching footsteps. 

     " You think you're so-" 

     " About a mile up this road and We'll reach Essmpy." Wilbur interjects into Tommy's sentence, smiling softly as he watches his brother give him a death glare. There's a few beats of silence that pass between them, only the ambiance of nature filling in the gaps. The quietness seems to calm Tommy down considerably; the teen walking behind Wilbur in uncharacteristic silence. Wlibur cast a glance over his shoulder, observing Tommy with a mild sense of worry. Wil opens and closes his mouth, unable to find the words he's looking for. Eventually Wilbur lets it go, content with the silence. 

   But the quietness doesn't last long before Tommy begins to talk. " I'm not letting that go, by the way-you shit head. I'm holding that against you, until you actually apologize." The blonde declares, looking pointedly at Wilbur before looking away. Wilbur simply shrugs, deciding that there were worse fates than a brother's faux hatred. 

    A pregnant pause follows Tommys sentence, although Wilbur can tell the boy was attempting to put together another string of words. Wilbur walks patiently alongside Tommy, slowing his pace considerably." Do you think Techno will be there? Or.. or Phil?" Wilbur seems to be caught off guard by Tommy's question. The taller man's gate stutters as he tries to formulate a response. " Maybe? I don't know. '' Wilbur chokes out, furrowing his brow. " I mean-.. Techno was all the way up near Glay'seir. Doing college stuff and what not. So he's probably still up there, yea? I heard they were pretty well fortified, so Techs… okay, most likely. '' Wil blurts out, looking at the road ahead of them. His brown gaze flits over to Tommy, who had fallen back into a concerning quietness.

    The blonde simply nodded his head, looking down at the beaten dirt path below his boots, subconsciously wringing his gloved hands. He quickly pushes down his anxieties, shoving his hands to his sides as he thinks of something funny- anything to get rid of the melancholy mood.

    Tommy grunts when he smacks into Wilburs back, huffing agitatedly as he stumbles back a few feet, an insult already on the tip of his tongue. Before he can say a word, Wilbur whirls around, grabbing Tommy's hand as he starts to run the way they had just come. 

     Tommy barely has time to collect himself before he gets jerked backwards by the force of Wilburs hold on his hand. He nearly trips over his own feet in an attempt to keep up with Wilbur, the anxiety and fear building up in his chest making it even harder to focus on where he's running. 

     In another quick motion, they stop. Wilbur ducks past one of the shrubs lining the road, tugging Tommy in after him. Before he knows it, they're both sitting behind a tree, covered by the foliage surrounding them. Tommy scowls at the uncomfortable feeling of roots, sticks, and leaves beneath him; but he does not express his disdain for the area Wilbur chose to hide them in. 

     " What was it?" Tommy whispers, trying to peer past the tree trunk to get a glimpse of whatever Wil had seen. Tommy is immediately pulled back, a hand planted over his mouth as Wilbur shushed him. The blonde glares at Wilbur, scowling as he pushes Wils hand away from his face, grumbling angrily at his brother. 

     They wait in uncomfortable silence. Tommy listens intently for any sign of movement, but only hears the general ambiance of the forest. He lets out an exasperated sigh after what feels like ages of waiting, head thudding against the trunk of the tree before turning to Wilbur. 

     " Come on Wil, there's literally nothing out there-” Tommy's mouth snaps shut, body going completely rigid and eyes practically bulging from their sockets. Fear silences any words from escaping his mouth as he stares at the thing Wilbur had apparently seen earlier. He feels Wilbur tense next to him as the brunette moves into a crouched position, his hand clenching Tommy's  hand almost painfully. Both of their eyes are trained onto the creature just a few trees away from them, its giant grey body could clearly be made out from between the greens and browns of the forest around them.

    The lanky abomination has its flank toward them, its whip thin tail flicking back and forth as its large head hangs heavy between its bony shoulders, presumably sniffing the ground. Tommys breath catches in his throat when the creature's head suddenly snaps up; a high pitched, echoey cry leaves the animal's parted maw. The sound seeps directly into Tommys soul, his hand clenching Wilburs. 

    Wilbur glances back at Tommy taking his sights off of the creature for a moment. Tommy catches Wilburs eyes, fear very prominent in his blue gaze. Wil takes another quick look toward the creature before mouthing the words ‘ back to the road.’ at Tommy. The blonde furrows his brows in confusion. Back to the road? Surely that thing would hear them going through the underbrush? Was Wilbur nuts? 

    Tommys eyes widen when Wilbur shifts in place, yanking his hand from Tommy's. In a swift series of movements, Wilbur's arm is thrown back with a large object in hand- wait when did he get a rock? There's a loud crash as Wil throws the object; The rock tumbles through the foliage, effectively catching the creatures attention. It lets out a rumbling bark, immediately nose diving into the underbrush. Tommy scrambles against the bark of the tree, watching as Wilbur bolts from his spot besides him and quickly disappears past the tree trunk. 

     Tommy scrambles to follow Wilbur, tripping over his feet and the roots of the tree as he goes after Wil. Dread seeps into his stomach when a loud, ear piercing howl erupts from behind him. Tommy has his eyes set onto the back of Wilburs trench coat, focusing on his brother's back as his legs fly a mile a minute beneath him. His heart thunders in his chest, lungs burning as he sucks in quick gasps of air. 

    A crash and screech alerts them both that the Creature had caught on to their scent, the loud pounding of paws on the earth floor was enough to light a fire beneath Tommy's feet. He watches as Wilbur pushes past the barrier of foliage that encases the road they were traveling earlier- a spark of hope ignites in the boy's chest as he closes in on where Wilbur had disappeared. Tommy's mouth opens into a silent cry as he trips over a root or rock, sending his body barreling through the wall of leaves and out onto the road.

    Tommy hits the ground hard, the impact forcefully knocking the wind from his lungs as he tumbles forwards. Tommy lets out a wheeze as he lays helplessly on the road, desperately gasping for air as he claws at the dirt beneath him,  trying to make more distance between him and the creature. 

    A loud caterwaul fills the air, quickly followed  by a near deafening screech. Tommy curls in on himself, covering his head with his arms. The blonde cries out when something solid hits his side as an uncomfortable warmth seeps through his ragged clothes. 

     Tommy peeks open one of his eyes, face morphing into fear as he stares at the battered face of whatever had been chasing them. He screams, desperately scrambling backwards to get away from the thing. It takes him a second to realize that the creature very much wasn't alive at all. The head that had been staring at him was decapitated, head severed just below its jaw from its neck. 

  

     " Damn- that was a close call. " 

     As if the situation could get even more confusing, a voice comes from Tommy's left, spooking the boy significantly. He turns to face whoever had just been talking. Tommy is immediately greeted by a figure looming above him, the sun above perfectly silhouetting the stranger just right so he couldn't make out their face. 

 

     " Wil?" Tommy asks hesitantly.  He quickly realizes that whoever this was- certainly wasn't Wilbur. Tommy immediately gets into a standing position, swaying lightly on his feet from an intense feeling of vertigo- he must have hit his head hard when he fell. 

     The green man takes a step back, holding up his hands in an attempt to appear harmless. The bow and arrow in hand accompanied by the sword on this stranger's hip paints a different story. The incredibly tall height this guy is packing intensities the whole "intimidation" factor- he has to at least be eight feet tall. He was clad in a green camo jumper, a gold chest plate adorns his chest along with golden shoulder pads, his face obscured by what appeared to be a gas mask. 

     " Who- Who the fuck are you?"  Tommy splutters, unsure of what to make of this situation he's found himself in. The stranger lowers his hands, a soft "oh right" escaping him as he tries to find the right words. 

    “ My name is Awesam... But my friends call me Sam. “ 

[fallen-imagine-angel]

A Secret for None (Peter Parker x Reader)

Notes: Okay, I’m back with a new fic! And it’s my usual reader insert fic, yay! I’m excited to be back in the groove of writing. I might be on hiatus after a couple of days again because I have finals, but once summer starts I will be able to write a lot more! And, as always, my asks/DMs/submit box/tag list is always open so feel free to drop in anytime :)

Summary: You learn about your boyfriend’s secret, making your entire world crumble.

A Secret

Peter Parker x Reader

Requested?: Yes, by anon: "I really thought you loved me but if you dont think I'm worthy of knowing you big secret then clearly I was wrong." *walks away into darkness and angst dun dun duuunnnn*😂 this one could work VERY well with peter or Remus for sure but since your the one with the urge abd need to write angry you and you alone decide well you and your creativity/inspiration 😅”

Word Count: 1,501

Warnings: Just a ton of angst and a little bit of fluff at the beginning?

Your boyfriend is your entire world. Sure, you have friends besides him and you’re still in high school, but without him, you would crumble. He’s your rock, your everything, and your comforter. Your boyfriend is the sweetest guy on earth, Peter Parker.

“Pete!” You smile and hug him from behind as he gets a book out of his locker. You hear him chuckle and turn around in the hug so he can hug you back.

“Hey, (Y/n).” Peter kisses your forehead, effectively putting a large grin on your face.

“You ready to hang out tonight? It’s our big movie date we’ve been planning for a while.” You smirk, locking your arms around his neck. You watch his gaze turn sheepish as he looks away. This concerns you.

“I- uh...I can’t tonight, actually. Can we do...next week or something?” He mutters, looking anywhere but your eyes.

“We’ve been planning this for weeks, Peter.” You huff, undoing your arms from his neck and letting them fall loosely to your sides.

“I know, I know. I just...family issues, okay? I swear I won’t bail next time.” He gives you his signature puppy dog eyes. You sigh.

“That’s what you’ve said the past three times.” You look down and scuff the tip of your shoe on the ground.

“It’s different this time. Next week, I swear I will give you my undivided attention and we will have our movie date.” He gives you his charming smile that you can’t say no to.

“Fine. Next week it is.” You give him a small smile and peck his cheek.

“Perfect. Now, we’ve got to get to class.” He smiles and grabs your hand in his, walking to class with your fingers intertwined.

Yes, you love your boyfriend, but sometimes you wonder how much he loves you.

“Mom, I’m going to go to the bank to put some more money into my savings account.” You call out to your mom through the apartment.

“Okay, honey, be safe!” She calls back. You step out into the cold wind and pull your jacket closer around your form, starting to walk to the bank. Since you had a job to help support your family, you would put small amounts of money into savings every month to help save up for your college fund. So far, you had a decent amount ready.

Once you’ve been standing in line at the bank for a good fifteen minutes, three men with black ski masks walk in.

Just your luck.

“Everyone on the ground!” One man holds up a high-tech gun and fires it at the ceiling, sending a burst of electricity out.

Definitely not a normal gun.

“Did you guys really think you could just stroll in here without me finding out? I mean, come on, guys.” A red and blue clad Spider-Man slowly swoops in.

“You again?” A robber distastefully asks.

“Me again.” Spider-Man gives a small bow before the fight breaks out. Screams are heard as the captives all hurry to get against the wall. You start to take charge, ushering everyone out that you can while the robbers are distracted. You get mostly everyone out, only a few bank clerks are left when the entrance is blocked.

Spider-Man gets thrown against the wall next to you and you gasp as he shakes it off. He gets up, groaning.

“Spider-Man, are you okay?” You ask, hesitant to engage in conversation out of fear that the robbers will hurt you.

“I’m fine--” He looks at you and the eyes on his mask go wide.

“What is it?” You ask as concern makes its way onto your features.

“N-Nothing. You need to get out of here, miss.” His voice goes up an octave and you immediately recognize that voice.

Peter freaking Parker.

As the fight goes on, you find a way to escape and run all the way back to your apartment. Not a fun night out, especially since your boyfriend bailed on your movie night to do hero stuff.

Especially since you didn’t know that your boyfriend was a hero.

So you do what any sensible person would do. You wait until the early hours of the morning and call Peter.

“Hey, what’s up?” He immediately answers the phone, sounding out of breath.

“Have you been...running?” You try to seem clueless as to why he’s out of breath.

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. I went for a jog around the block just now. Why are you calling? Is something wrong?” He asks, also playing dumb.

“Yeah uh...can you come over? I, uh, I was at that bank that almost got robbed earlier and I could use some emotional support.” You fake a voice crack as if you were crying. Peter immediately assures you he’ll be over in a minute.

“(Y/n), are you okay?” Peter rushes to you, cradling your face in his hands.

“Yeah, there were these guys with huge, and I mean huge weird guns.” You frown, straining to lean into his touch instead of pulling away. All you want to do is confront him, tell him you know his secret, ask him why he kept it from you.

Ask him if he really loves you.

Ask him if he trusts you like he says he does.

“I-I’m so sorry. Those guys with the guns were terrible, but you were so brave, babe. Ushering others out? I couldn’t believe it.” Peter hugs you. You go still. He outed himself.

“How did you know I ushered others out?” You murmur, pulling away from his arms. You immediately miss him, but this conversation needs to be done.

“It...was on the news.” 

“Bull. I watched the news story, it didn’t say anything about me.” You narrow your eyes and stand up, crossing to the other side of the room.

“I was there.” He whispers.

“Yeah, I know, Spider-Man.” You growl. His eyes go wide as he realizes you know.

Oh god, you know.

“(Y/n)...” He trails off.

“Don’t (Y/n) me. Don’t give me those stupid puppy dog eyes, don’t give me your charming smile that I can’t resist. I’m angry. All of these months you’ve been playing hero while leaving me in the dark. I can get why you didn’t tell me immediately, but after months and months of leaving me on dates, canceling plans, and completely brushing me off? I should have known. No, better yet, you should have told me. I had started to question whether you really loved me, but now I’m questioning so much more. Do you trust me at all?”

“Of course I do--”

“I’m not finished. I really thought you loved me. I really thought you loved me but if you don't think I'm worthy of knowing your big secret then clearly I was wrong. And don’t give me some crap like you wanted to protect me because you know I can take care of myself. You saw me at the bank. I’m fine.” You scoff, glaring deep into his soul.

“I know, but...I’m sorry.” A tear slips down his cheek. You clench your jaw, determined not to let his tears affect you. 

“You know that I have trust issues. Yet, you continued to keep this huge secret from me. Peter, I build my relationships off of trust and love. If we don’t have the key component of trust, then I can’t be with you.” Your lip starts to wobble and you bite it to keep from crying. You will not cry over this.

“I do trust you, (Y/n), I do. Please, don’t end this. Don’t end us. I’ll do better, I swear. I trust you and I’ll prove it to you.” Peter promises, crossing the room in two long strides to grab your hands in his. You pull away immediately this time, the large smile no longer coming to your face when his hands envelop yours.

“The problem is no longer whether you trust me or not because I don’t trust you anymore.” You whisper.

You can see the heartbreak on Peter’s face but you can’t take back what you said. You don’t want to take back what you said. Trust is important to you and if you can’t trust your boyfriend, then what is the relationship built off of.

“Please…” He mutters, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“You should go.” You push him to the side and open your window, gesturing for him to leave.

“I can’t leave us like this-- please, (Y/n).” He pleads, reaching for your hand one last time. This time, you pull it away before he can even reach it.

“I’m sorry, Peter, but it has to be this way. I hope someday in the future we can return to being friends.” You close your eyes and sigh, letting a single tear slip out. Before you know it, he’s out the window and gone. You shut it softly.

Finally, the tears flow as you force your Peter, your everything out of your life.

You loved Peter Parker, and now it’s your time to crumble.

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim... volume 17!

The penultimate volume. Let’s sacrifice a few more timelines to the great tapestry of fate that we’re weaving. Or more likely, Doc Scratch is weaving.

This time, “Of Teen and Tech, Acerbic”.

One more jade, and one more indigo. I think at this point we have a pretty even spread across the non-Sea Troll blood colours.

Daraya

I thought there was a TV show of this name, but apparently it’s ‘Daria’. This troll and that Daria seem to have a similar attitude, judging by the image. As for ‘Daraya’, it refers to a handful of places, notably Darayya in Syria, which was apparently the site of a massacre seven years ago during the civil war. Oof.

Daraya is the final troll written by Cee. L. Kyle, creator of prior memorable trolls Bronya, Zebruh, Remele and Lynera. I guess Cee likes writing jades.

Anyway, Daraya’s route begins as a few have in recent episodes - the protag feeling lethargic and listless, too tired to make friends.

We end up in a cerulean neighbourhood. There are some pointed lines...

When this game wants to, it really skewers its targets.

Anyway, the music kicks in as we realise Elwurd (the huge lesbian) texted us to invite us to a party. A bunch of other trolls seem to be showing up as well...

The track this time is called “trollkind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. that is alchemys first law of equivalent exchange. in those days, we really believed that to be the worlds one and only truth”. No prizes for guessing who decided to name a song after an extended quote from Fullmetal Alchemist.

There’s some more emphasis on how artificial our friendship feelings are...

Anyway, as we approach the party, we spot Daraya, busy looking very goffick.

She’s not thrilled to see us. Of course we’d be friends with Elwurd, she says grumpily.

Now in Befriend Mode, we do our best to mimic her whole ‘disaffected slouch’. Apparently being vaguely cynical and depressed is pleasing to Daraya. She seems to like Elwurd though...

Lesbians, I swear...

I swear...

Anyway, we learn that Daraya has snuck out of the caverns - though she’s not as restricted as little Wanshi. She whines about Bronya’s ‘cloister rules’. But hey, she met Elwurd through Bronya...

We blather about how the caves aren’t so bad, and namedrop some other jades we know. Daraya is not impressed.

Anyway, she’s not invited. So our first choice is to tell her to go home or invite her in.

Let’s let her in, because the other way doesn’t seem to go anywhere interesting.

Bronya isn’t the only troll we know at this party. Chahut apparently hasn’t yet shipped out off planet, and she shows up too.

Chahut makes some remarks about how fascinating she finds jadebloods... or ‘greenies’ as she puts it. She makes a murder joke about whether Daraya is really jade or not.

Yes, that’s exactly how I’d put it. Definitely.

After that brief brush with death, Daraya gets other ideas.

Mmhmm. As we head off, Daraya suggests we have a reputation for being ‘unconventional, weird and rebellious’. That’s certainly one way to describe ‘being a clueless alien pathologically addicted to making friends’.

Ahahaha nicely done.

Unfortunately we don’t have a lot of edgy rebellious ideas tonight.

I’m in favour of being a hoodlum.

Lots of new backgrounds in this episode. Somewhat different style too...

Apparently these are by Phil Gibson.

We ask Daraya how she’s doing. Her answer: not well.

Daraya says some dangerously radical stuff about how everything sucks for everyone but the highbloods... and maybe them too. We get a callback to the joke from last time...

Ha.

The narrator refuses to comment on that. That’s a good call, I think.

Daraya continues to complain. As a jadeblood, she’s not going to have to go into space, but life in the caverns tending to matters of social reproduction. We commiserate, which she appreciates.

We raise an eyebrow at the mention of Lynera. Danara assures us that she hates her - and not in a romantic way! (“or well...”)

At that point, we run into Tyzias. Just the person to take Daraya’s alienation and dissatisfaction and forge it into a revolutionary will, right?

Luckily, protag has the same idea. Which is no doubt why Tyzias was written into the plot at this point.

The well known “goth to anarchist” pipeline, right?

There’s a brief allusion to the weird shift that happened with Fozzer - a vague memory of a different Fozzer. “But why did you remember that guy?” indeed.

Tyzias tries to give a Daraya a little pep talk against hopelessness... Daraya is not particularly persuaded.

God I know that utterly depressing feel. What can one troll do, indeed?

Tyzias answers it the challenge.

She’s not wrong.

Daraya is not exactly being won over, but the protag does manage to get her to chill a bit and keep the conversation going. Tyzias has more real shit to say.

Daraya challenges her - is it just about making herself feel better, if there’s no realistic hope of real change? Tyzias says... in some way, it is. And the protag chimes in - that doesn’t make it less effective, at whatever little it is achieving.

At the end of this, I’m gonna try and make a list like... troll I would most want to be friends with in real life, and least, favourite route and so on. Spoilers: Tyzias would be the friend I’d want to make.

Tyzias points out like... what the hell else are they gonna do? Daraya finally admits she’s got a point.

And... having secured a friendship between not just us and Daraya, but us and Tyzias... we reach the end of the arc.

Let’s go fuck shit up. By which we mean, read law books. I guess!

That was nice. I fully support this lesbian goth and her budding revolutionary consciousness.

God I’m predictable.

Unfortunately, finding the friendship route here means it’s all downhill from here.

If we tell her to go home instead of bringing her to the party...

strut pod encasements!

That was predictably short.

OK, now for the non-phoned in side branch.

She does have an idea, it turns out. We hop into our (now quite low on fuel) car, and head off to a ruined city somewhere near the thriving one we’re living in.

Ooh. I wonder what we’ll find?

We make our way to an abandoned mall to go urbexing. Fuck, I love reading about urbex. Too much of a shut-in to have ever actually tried it.

We end up in a food court with the roof caved in. It’s apparently cool as hell. Alas, it’s not illustrated.

I’m not sure which rebellion this would be associated with. That of the Signless, or some other?

Ah, that narrows it down. The Signless rebellion, then. In which case... Alternian malls are really built to last!

We comment on the strangeness of the absence of adults, but this upsets Daraya.

Apparently, as an adult, she’ll be cloistered off on her own somewhere, and forbidden to contribute genes to the slurry. Huh.

To be honest, it’s a wonder that most other trolls are so cheery. Daraya’s attitude seems like the sensible one on this planet.

Daraya says some real shit about the existential dread she’s living with, the paralysing hopelessness of having no future to speak of.

Hey Daraya, do you fancy this copy of Baedan I happen to have on hand?

make total destroy etc. etc.

Anyway, at this point... Daraya somehow manages to set the mall on fire by throwing a mall at a cooker.

And... the narrator has no choice but to leave, as Daraya lets herself burn in the centre of the mall, one of the few places she cared about.

God, this episode was a bit real lol.

It’s not wrong though. Leftist theory certainly hasn’t cured my depression (lol), but it has given me some perspective to put it in a context where it can be managed, I guess. Something to work towards, no matter how futile it may be, in this fucking hell world that created me.

In the words of 2B... “Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending cycle of life and death. Is this a curse? Some kind of punishment? I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle... and wonder if I will ever get the chance to kill him.”

Let’s look to the struggle within the cycle. What else is there?

Nihkee

So now for...

Nihkee. She stronk. Keep your pants on, lesbians.

Nihkee is the creation of David Turbull, who previously made Tegiri (weeb) and Tirona (baby lawyer). Her theme, appropriately bombastic, is another James Roach piece with a long name: “lmao i still dont know if it’s nicky or nike (like the shoe, not like... the name mike)”. Make of that what you will.

This episode opens in media res - at a sporting arena. How did we get here?

We seem to be watching some kind of cage fight. Knowing trolls, I imagine it will be a lethal one.

Apparently we’re attending to Amisia. She bemoans the ‘boorishness’ of the purplebloods.

This seems to be the troll equivalent of pro-wrestling, rather than, say, MMA. However, injuries are a lot more common. We learn that Amisia won us tickets in a raffle, and invited us to this ‘Display of Muscular Theatre’.

We are watching The Huntress (olive) fight Cullpitz (purple). The narration mentions that Cullpitz is bizarrely un-clowny.

The fights are, naturally, rigged by hemospectrum. The narration notes that The Huntress seems to be deliberately holding back to avoid inciting the crowd. Amisia, however, is excited for the next competitor: Nihkee Moolah of course, who - Amisia claims - has never lost a fight.

Cullpitz wins the fight, and causes The Huntress a likely permanent injury. The protag feels sick enough to have to step away. But as we leave, we get drawn into a conversation with a violetblood (seadweller). He promises money (nah), fame (no thank you) and at last, friendship. And the deal is sealed.

Unfortunately, Nihkee’s opponent is dead. Which means... he wants us to take their place. Having an alien will make big money for the ring.

Let me guess: the choice is gonna be to refuse this terrible plan or go with it.

Maybe, but not yet...

We meet Nihkee, in the middle of working out. Some of these trolls are dressed more for MMA than pro-wrestling but who knows.

There’s a meta joke in the narration.

She is not best pleased with the showrunner for interrupting her prep. Though, I get the impression it’s all in the spirit of showtrollship.

Sure are some muscles. I’m not entirely sure what the [()] typing quirk is menat to represent exactly. Probably not a yonic symbol?

It’s worth noting at this point that all of my knowledge of professional wrestling comes from reading the TVTropes pages a couple of times. If you’re curious, it’s an impressively comprehensive discussion of wrestling terminology and the various dynamics involved in its production.

Kayfabe is the way wrestlers pretend in their media appearances that pro-wrestling competitions are not mostly scripted athletic performances with exaggerated personas, but genuine fights between real people who actually act like their stage characters. Now all the fans fully understand that wrestling is fake (but still fun), it’s not taken as seriously, but apparently it was a huge deal back in the 70s. Give the article a read, it’s fascinating.

Nihkee is not particularly impressed by the suggestion of performing with us.

We protest. At length.

We get the first choice: are we ready for a BUTT CLENCHING, FLESH ABRADING, KNUCKLE BLISTERING, MUSCLE RIPPLING, SMACKDOWN FROM UPTOWN?

Of course we fucking are.

She gives us guidelines for the show. Basically: follow her storyline. “The alien invader challenges me in an exhibition match to TOPPLE the MIGHTIARCHY.” We struggle, but eventually...

...PREVAILS AGAIN!

(I guess to convey suitable drama, a lot of Nihkee’s dialogue is split between multiple dialogue boxes, which makes it a little hard to take screenshots.)

We ask if we’ll die. She assures us no - unless we’re especially weak. But even then...

Well, that’s a great reason to die. Sign me up.

Secondly, an “exhibition match” means we will not be challenging each other for positions on the “flexeladder” - otherwise we’d have to wrestle nude, like at the “Intergalactic Trollympics”. I’d count that as a blessing.

We bring up the question of face and heel. You can read about these on tvtropes, but the narrator does a pretty good job of explaining.

In troll society, of course, the traits we’d ascribe to a ‘heel’ are valorised. So we’re just going to get crushed under her heel. Indeed.

Time for the match. The showrunner does the announcement for Nihkee.

In a clear allusion to good old Equius, Nihkee’s entrance is accompanied by a shower of thrown glasses of milk from the fans.

And opposing her whole deal is...

“Some messed up lowblood alien”. Huh, usually when I go into an arena fight in games I’m the “mysterious stranger”. Who could have seen this coming?

Ah, that’s what fate was working towards this whole time! Thanks, Doc Scratch, for your dedication to the cause of wrestling.

So, naturally, we’re playing the foreigner. Here to prove our superiority to trollkind. TVTropes naturally has an article on this: the Foreign Wrestling Heel. We’re going by the book here.

We put up a good bit of bravado. But are we prepared to face, Nihkee demands, her...

OK, you got me. I’m laughing out loud again.

The protagonist puts up a pretty good show, it seems like - barely dodging Nihkee’s attacks in a suitably dramatic fashion. We bleed, but the narration suggests that under the stage lights, the trolls will take it as ordinary ‘rust’ blood and not ‘mutant’ red. We hope.

Nihkee invites us to attack with appropriate pomp. But we...

...don’t do that, not directly. We springboard off the edge of the cage in “a classic clothesline manoeuvre”... and get knocked the fuck out.

But we haven’t reached our second decision point yet, so that can’t be the end of us. Hopefully we gave the trolls what they wanted.

Do we even have a fourth wall anymore?

Anyway, this turns out to be Nihkee’s hive. She is not impressed at our ring performance - getting knocked out by our own attack. Well, that’s fair.

Training montage incoming?

Hell yes. (She calls everyone sister, including the announcer guy, in case you’re wondering if that’s an implicit gendering of the protag.)

She’s brought us to her BRAWNISEUM. As we can see in the illustration... it’s pretty much made for Space Marines to train at.

After her speech about our indomitable will and potential, she invites us to ASCEND with her.

Hell yeah. Let’s [S] ASCEND together!

Of course we fucking take it.

We start with the acid treadmill. (The acid doesn’t seem to be depicted.) She turns it up... a bit fast.

We manage to run at 12 miles per hour - which is about bronze level good. Apparently all the machines rate us by blood colour. While the low end of the hemospectrum gets the badass psychic powers, the high end gets the physical strength, it seems. There’s more jokes about how great our legs are - they merit a cerulean!

All the while, Nihkee ‘encourages’ us in a way that’s gendered in the opposite way that things usually are on Earth.

After half an hour of that, she gives us a protein shake... except it’s not a protein shake but ‘gatorade mixed with milk’. Amazing.

Then we get tested for ‘pressure resistance’ in a soft iron maiden. Apparently that’s olive level.

The overall verdict?

Hooray.

We do more of this - including getting chased by a literal toothy monster. By the time we finally collapse...

She’s impressed by our commitment - our “strength of heart and soul”. And our great appreciation for the MOST RIGHTEOUS OF PURSUITS... earns us the recognition of “workout friend”.

And that rounds out the arc. Presumably after some more of this, the narrator will be due for a return to the ring.

Go us!

Easy arc to find the right answers in, evidently. Now to see what happens if we hesitate.

First of all, before the match...

We can’t watch as she pulls out lowblood challengers from the audience and smashes their faces into the spikes. Oh, trolls. We get treated to an image of this, too.

Mmm, indeed.

Now, if we hesitate later before the workout session...

She dismisses us - unworthy of her gifts, unwilling to reach our full potential.

She tells us to get out of her sight. The narration steps in to make another meta joke (that’s like three this arc?)

We get a fake out fade to black and the first note of the end card music... but then!

...GET RIIII(...)IIIPPPPPED! In our own way.

D --> Hmm, 100k at this e%tremely subtle reference.

Anyway, that someone turns out to be... Stelsa! And Tyzias, who happens to be present. There’s a brief discussion of a fast food service called ‘door smash’, and Stelsa’s love of scheduling. They’re cute together.

But let’s get down to business... to defeat...

...our own flimsiness.

Stelsa’s into it.

Then we hang with her and Tyzias for a bit. We suggest Tyzias might consider energy drinks.

This arc then extends over... a long time!

Multiple weeks! And the training seems to be going well...

It’s almost as if ‘drill sergeant’ isn’t the ideal demeanour for a coach after all.

But as we go to show off our progress to Nihkee, the question of this being a non-canon branch leads us to hesitate.

So we decide to ‘blitz our chakras’ to try and work this out. We put on some ocean noises (which leads to a change in the soundtrack! soft music starts playing, seguing into the menu music) and... start imagining some metaphors.

In our reverie, we slip beneath the surface of the river.

Things get kind of meta. I’m just gonna take a bunch of screenshots because this seems... important.

The images of failed branches, all these catastrophes, blur together on top of each other.

We are implored to ‘find our river’. And we find the two branches of the current route... one sounding much more inviting than the other.

Then things get REALLY meta.

And then we get the rest of the arc in some kind of summary form, all in this... letterboxed? That’s not the right word, but whatever... all in this view. Nihkee is not pleased to see us. We come up with the idea of sneaking in.

It does not seem to end well.

She chases us on one leg and we escape by getting her run over by a train. But she becomes a cyborg coming to chase us down, terminator-like. Yeah, seriously.

NIHKEEBORG spends a year hunting us across the wilderness. And eventually... she catches us. We die.

And coming out of the meditation, we decide... not to do that. We just go to Stelsa’s house instead, and let Nihkee be.

Oof.

God, you never know what you’re going to stumble onto in this game. That was amazing.

Next time: FINAL CHAPTER.

[thejostenminyardrivalry]

Gotta agree here. Yes, there are some cases where neil seems to ignore normal social rules in the series but i don't think it's ignorance i think its completely purposeful for a couple of reasons.

First, when you think about it, being able to learn social skills and be up to date on whats going on in the rest of the world (ie news, pop culture) is literally crucial to being able to blend into new environments and identities. Nothing rings the alarm bells that someone isn't normal than when they're obviously clueless about common knowledge and high school students are dangerously good at sniffing that shit out. They get a whiff of it, tell all their friends and if you're in a small town prone to gossip, which is how neil describes Millport it would be too risky if someone working for his dad followed his trail to Millport and asked around "hey you have any weird, cagey teens in town?" (And like i dont mean like loner kids, because every school has those, but like kids that something is clearly off with.) and also on the note of millport even though it definitely seems like neil tries to stick to himself, not even really having friends within the exy team, the narration also says that neil was very good at keeping an ear to the ground on the local gossip and even tried to manipulate it to stay hidden. That's not being an idiot, it's being methodical.

Second, it's established in book one that neil understands technology and the internet (a huge misconception in the fandom on whether or not neil knows "normal people stuff") because he's been using communal computers at school and the library to obsessively track kevin and riko's steps and by extension monitor the threat of the moriyama's. I think the reason a lot of people think neil is tech illiterate is because of the cell phones- but it isn't because he doesn't know how to use them that neil avoids phones, it's because they leave a paper trail and are traceable. It's the same reason in spy movies they always use burner phones.

The last point I'm gonna make is neil's demeanor and how he says things that no normal person would say. Obviously we all know that neil's mouth gets him in trouble and a lot of the times it's out of sheer temper. He has a tendency to say things in an off the cuff, shocking way and i can see where this could be interpreted as a "holy shit, neil don't you know that normal people don't say these things" way but i would argue that he's totally aware of the weight of his words.

The first example of this i can think of is when after thanksgiving at the hemmick's he asks for his racquet back. I believe this is in conversation with bee and she says something along the lines of "but its evidence and was used to kill someone. Knowing that you still want it back?" and neil says "well it didnt kill anyone important" which. Is not the type of thing an average teenager who just witness his friend get sexually assaulted and then his other friend murder someone.

At first glance, i can see where this looks like a slip-up on neil's part because he's showing bee, someone who is trained to read people, that he is completely chill with murder and we know as a shrink that bee has to be putting puzzle pieces together. Given how reticent neil is to reveal anything to bee previously, his unwillingness to even go to the yearly mandated exam, you might be like, ok theres no reason he just dropped that huge clue to her of all people on purpose.

However, in the context of what's about to happen i dont think he says this because he doesn't realize its inappropriate. He says it because he does. Because right after this betsy tries to give him an out, and is like, well, it makes sense you're upset and saying things because you just witnessed something horrible. She gave him a chance on a golden platter to cover his ass. And in the narration, neil thinks "the smart thing to do was lie" and then makes a jab about Andrew's medication in an explicit attempt to make betsy feel remorse for not pushing the court on andrew's meds before this (quote: "he wanted her to defend herself. He wanted to see her try to justify any of this.") To me his prerogative is clear- he's trying to manipulate her and push her into a corner because he knows of the course of the next hours to convince the authorities to get andrew off his meds he needs betsy where he wants her. The rest of the chapter he repeats this kind of antagonization to the other adults he sees as being complicit in andrew's attack: luther, maria, the police, etc and some of it is definitely neil's genuine temper but i think it also has a purpose leading up to the scene where neil talks to andrew to convince him to go to hospital.

In conclusion im super sorry op because this got waaaay longer than i thought it was gonna be but i feel your pain. Neil can be a dumbass but he's highly intelligent and the level at which the fandom ignores it in favor of treating him like a moron is hella whack

y'all act like andrew thought neil was genuinely stupid even though their entire relationship buildup was andrew trusting neil to be smart enough to understand his boundaries and his games

andrew only ever called neil dumb because neil didn't place value on his own life when neil's life was everything to him