#they think I'm a nerd for fixating on a video game

[starry-teacup]

contrarian calling hero dashing as a pet name is what I live for

[pearlswritings]

hi pearl!!! i come requesting more aot crumbs.. pretty pretty please... 🙏🙏

i fear there is a nerdmin epidemic going on in my mind currently. may i humbly ask for general dating hcs + modern au nerd armin arlert my one and only babygirl? as per usual, i'm not picky regarding the rest. thank u sm in advance!! <3

Nerd Armin x Gn reader, modern au!

“𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕔𝕣𝕪, 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕠𝕔𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤.”

•Armin would be such a sweet and shy boyfriend! But beware, he has a sassy side. You’ll definitely see it whenever he’s annoyed or frustrated. It’s always a treat! He has the funniest and most creative insults.

•He is definitely a gifted kid, maybe a bit burnt out tbh. He knows a lot of random facts about the strangest things! And loves sharing the little details he knows.

•Probably an art, history, or computer science major. He’s always tired, and never turns his assignments on time. But still has an A somehow??

•He is TERRIFIED of spiders. Don’t ask me why I think this, I just feel it.

•Very shy and awkward at times. You definitely made the first move! You know that trope “you fell first, he fell harder?” That’s accurate here!

•BIGGEST YAPPER. He has a new hyper fixation? You’re gonna know about it! (probably against your will) 

•Whenever he finds a new show, movie, or game he loves, he genuinely won’t shut up about it. You think it’s cute, and you love how invested he gets into things! Especially how happy it makes him.

•But you kinda wish he would get the hint and notice that he’s talking a bit too much. But he doesn’t, and he’ll keep talking your ear off till he gets bored or you fall asleep.

Now more romantic headcanons!

•His ideal date is a lovely museum then picnic outing. Especially art and history museums, they’re his favorite!

•Kinda innocent, he doesn’t want to do anything 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂. Literally kiss his cheek and he’ll blush SO hard. 

•He loves cuddles! Definitely a little spoon, fight me on that. It makes him so happy when you sit next to him while he plays a game on his phone or a console. 

•Multiplayer games are a must! Even if he crashes out because of it sometimes, it’s so fun for him. He really enjoys sharing his hobbies with you.

•We know he’s an anime and video game nerd, so he’d love to go with a convention with you! Matching cosplays and he’d GENUINELY be in love. 

•Overall, he’s such a sweet boyfriend! 10/10

(𝘈/𝘕: 𝘏𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘺!! 𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘰�� 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 ! 𝘈𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬! <3)

[hivemuthur]

We've definitely got quite a bit of overlap in music tastes so I think that helped in having the playlist hit so well for me! But I also just love music in all its forms and even though I have my hyperfixations and nostalgic comfort playlists (huge swiftie and vidyagame soundtrack enjoyer as well as being a proud band/choir/theater nerd when I was in school which has carried to present day), I'm always looking to expand out and learn about new and/or new-to-me artists and sounds. :)

The first handful of songs on your list actually brought me extremely vividly back to the end of the bar scene and the cab ride in chapter 1, though it all works very well!

A funny story you might appreciate/laugh at (totally okay to do lol, I did) - my husband and I went to dinner last night and the song Gooey by Glass Animals played at the restaurant, making it the second time I'd heard the song in my life (the first being maybe an hour earlier, listening to the playlist). Being a lightweight halfway through a cocktail my filter was down, and the way my JAW DROPPED and my brain short circuited left me spluttering and tomato red trying to explain to him why I had that reaction! Luckily he knows all of my hyperfixations and is cool with them (though he teases me mercilessly lol). 😂

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on Modern AU!Vik's music tastes, this was so fun to read!! ❤️ I've got some digging to do on some of these you listed, would be a fun playlist project. :) The Lucier track you shared was fascinating in the way it transformed throughout - holy crap that was cool! As for Sorabji, these pieces are chaotic in such a cool way and I bet Reader from D&M would thoroughly enjoy analyzing them.

Thanks for letting me yap at you, I know this was long but I had to share the Gooey story in here as well, thought you'd get a kick out of it haha!

✨️ Anon

Ah, hi again! And thank you and please don't worry about flooding my askbox, I've just read some bad news so this is a very nice distraction ♡ and OMG same with video games! RDR2 haunts me, especially the tracks that didn't make it into the actual soundtrack and play in the background while free roaming. Recently (last 8 months?) very obsessed with Cyberpunk as well. Samurai fangirl here :') Not a swiftie as it was a bit late for me to get into it BUT I have my pop moments, I usually don't last a week without Lady Gaga.

I have to admit, the order of songs didn't have much thought put into it BUT Cherry-coloured Funk is probably my no.1 they meet for the first time song. Like, if it played while I'm meeting someone for the first time, I know it's the universe telling me things.

Alsooo, I love that you share your fixations with your husband! And don't worry, my soon-to-be husband teases me too and calls Jayce and Viktor 'Jason and Vance' and it's fucking diabolical :v But Gooey is just, uh. This song is so hot, and it has an amazing video!

Lucier was a sound scientist, I love him, what a fucking nerd. And fun fact about Sorabji: he actually restricted his music from being played live because it was nearly impossible to play it without mechanical assistance, which is why no one heard him for about 40 years. I can imagine he had a terrible time being alive :')

(thank you again I LOVE YAPPING I'M SORRY and I fixed the other anon message but I think it's very noble of you to be willing to share the emoji :D)

[thecollectivefixation]

A deep dive into the MK1 cinematics (PT1?)

Hi, I'm a nerd and I like breaking apart scenes for small details and hidden meanings that adds to the overall story. For my first official post on The Collective Fixation blog, Mortal Kombat 1 is going to be topic subject today. I’ll be talking about random scenes in the game and trailer that I found really cool and some of the relationships between characters. (I actually blame my family for introducing me to MK1 the other month and I’ve literally not stopped thinking about it so lets get into it hehehe.)

!WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Ok MK1 is definitely in my top three list of best looking cinematics in video games.

This scene from the trailer was my favourite because it uses the lighting in the building as a medium for foreshadowing. Scorpion (Kuai Liang) being in the warm, bright lighting while Sub-Zero (Bi-Han) being in the cool, dark lighting. The light side referring to Liu Kang as he is first seen with light around him as he ascends down and Shang Tsung representing the dark side as he steps out of dark shadows revealing himself in the trailer. Foreshadowing the betrayal and the two sides of the story that occurs further on in the story.

When Smoke first gets introduced he is seen under red light which can indicate danger or a sense of evil, paired with the dramatic shift in music from calming to almost a startling shift into a intense music. This convinces the audience to think that he is the antagonist in that current moment. The extreme close up on his face shows off his emotions, which is difficult to do since he has the mask on, so actors have to get creative with their facial expressions. We see this with the intense look Smoke has when surveying the area, indicated with his eyebrows and eyes. Also the camera pans left to show off more red light on his face. The camera is below his face making a low camera angle, low camera angles most commonly indicate a sense of power, strength and intimidation to the subject in frame.

(Side note: Live Laugh Love low camera angles, you see them so much in this game and I love itttttt)

The film codes (technical and symbolic) in the scenes between Johnny Cage and Kenshi Takahashi play an important part in the growth of their relationship. When Kenshi is revealed to the audience, the camera pans up from his feet to his sword to his face leaving in at a low camera angle. This increases dramatic tension by slowly revealing to the audience what Johnny sees. When taking in account of the music changing to a upbeat fighting kind of soundtrack the audience makes the conclusion of you guessed it danger, antagonist.

(Ofc cause he isn't the actual villain in the game but as the time he is lol)

(Side note: i love the way the game developers made it so the cameras seems hand held or on a dolly and not fixed in place, seems like we are in the game/story experiencing everything with the characters.)

Not that important but I love how the light from the pool reflects off both Johnny and Kenshi, its all about the details.

Now lets talk about THE SLOW MO BETWEEN JOHNNY AND KENSHI. Gotta admit, it caught me off guard a little, because normally a slow mo is used to focus on a character’s emotional reaction to a person, place or event in that current moment. And after thinking long and hard, I have come up with a conclusion on why the directors made this decision.

To show the tension between Johnny and Kenshi. Kenshi at the beginning of the story does not like Johnny or his ideals, its shown between dialogue when talking about their reasons to becoming Earthrealm defenders and Kenshi disapproval. And is the base of why they interact in the first place, because Kenshi wants Sento and Johnny wont give it over. The slow mo focuses on kenshi’s facial expression of aggravation and intensity about his fight with Raiden and about Johnny’s bad sport man ship in the previous scene with Johnny vs Raiden when Johnny’s ego was talking was basically he talked down Raiden’s abilities. This contrasts Kenshi’s ideals of honour.

(side note again, I haven't done a full deep dive on their characters nor have I done a deep dive on a character so I may have gotten some stuff wrong but I haven't fully played the entire game yet I'm like halfway rn so yea)

Ok that’s all for now, I’ll maybe talk about more scenes once I fully play through the game. Feel free to share your options because I love talking about these kind of things.

-Bookworm

[t0talbra1nd3ath]

Facts about Efren? 🙏 (I’m fixating on him at a concerning rate rn)

IVE BEEN WITING FOR THIS QUESTIONNN

Efren Lore + Fun Facts

(May contain some mild spoilers)

I think out of all of the DBM characters Efren has the most mild lore.

He's Filipino, but he was born and grew up in USA. His full name is Danilo Efren Dagohoy (yes he goes by his middle name). He doesn't really know any language other than English, though his parents did try to teach him Tagalog and he did take Spanish in high school.

His family is overall very average: middle class, suburban white picket fence house, church on Sundays, etc. He has 4 siblings - one older brother, and three younger siblings - two sister and a toddler brother.

Despite the pretty average upbringing he was always the black sheep of the family. He was always the biggest out of the five siblings, being born the weight of 8 pounds and 11 ounces. He was a chubby kid, though during puberty he started to grow really tall and with a bit of regular exercise he developed an impressive muscle mass.

He was always freakishly strong and completely unaware of it. In kindergarten and primary school he would get in trouble for accidentally hurting other kids and breaking toys. This self control issue really came to a boiling point when he accidentally killed the neighbours cat while playing with it. After that incident most of the kids his age in the area weren't allowed to talk to him. In middle school he became more of a loner and that stays true even to this day.

He still lives in a suburban-ish area. There aren't any houses near by but there is a road that joggers frequent near by.

Efren works from home as a cyber security guy for a whole array of websites ranging from sketchy to full on illegal. On top of being naturally strong he also has a talent for IT. In high school he would make simple viruses and hack into random websites for shits and giggles. That is actually how he got his job - he broke into one of those sketchy websites and after being tracked down on suspicions of being a fed he was offered to either work for them or perish (lol).

Efren has a very skewed sense of empathy. He doesn't feel much for people, you could confess your undying love to him or shoot yourself in the head in front of him and he wouldn't care either way. On the other hand he has insane levels of empathy towards animals, even the "gross ones" like bugs, snakes, arachnids, etc. He gets genuinely mad if someone kills a spider.

Other than a skewed sense of empathy Efren also has a very odd aggression response. His emotional response to being mad never results in impulsive physical or verbal aggression (yes ik in-game it's not really shown, I'll have to rewrite a few sections). But what does illicit impulsive physical aggression in Efren is something cute. That is the primary reason he won't get an actual pet cat, even though he desperately wants one, he is terrified of hurting it.

Ok now for a rapid-fire-round-up of small fun facts:

Efren hates beer! His favourite alcoholic drinks are a vodka-redbull and a banana daiquiri.

Efren is a massive nerd, he grew up spending all his free time playing video games and nowadays since his schedule is pretty lax he spends a large amount of his time watching anime and playing FPS shooters.

Efren has a two pet tarantulas named Tarantino and Tammy (they are both female).

Ok this turned out much longer than expected, sorry for the info dump Q_Q

Let me know if any on y'all are interested in lore on Isra and Hawk!! (I'm holding off on Orion lore since it would be a major spoiler for the full game)

[eebeebackup]

Idk if this makes sense but maybe tali being in band while readers a singer and both classes wanna do like a collab project or something?

Either 1 or 2 band students get paired with 1 or 2 singer students?

Or it’s just the whole classes together planning a big performance for the end of the yr idk

But reader and tali pair up to practice together and than the relationship spirals from there?

Or maybe reader is practicing for a project and they’re allowed to ask for others to help with it so reader wants another background instrument so she wants to ask a band kid. Reader and tali share a class or 2 together and she finds out he’s a band kid playing an instrument that pairs perfectly with her performance idea. Or maybe it’s an iffy pairing but decides to try and make it work to show off her talent and maybe get a higher grade. But its more difficult than she thought especially since tali’s nervous around her so antics ensue of trying to bond more and then they start dating and they play the performance in perfect harmony and it symbolizes that while readers and tali don’t really seem like they’d be a pairing they’re an amazing one

This immediately came to mind and it basically a separate story sorry, but hopefully it somewhat helps or was an enjoyable idea

~⭐️ anon (this account hasn’t been alive for even 24 hrs and I’m already in the inbox hyper fixating)

please keep hyperfixating in the inbox it makes me feel better abt the overall situation

Oh these are so cute! I've already been messing around with dynamics and what not for that group. I'm a very write what I know type person, so I'm def reliving my own band days with this bit. Time to infodump.

I've mentioned before they go to a BIG college, so stuff is fairly competitive there. My main inspiration for their college was actually the University of Alabama. My family is from Alabama, and when I was a kid one of my dreams was to be in their marching band, the Million Dollar Band! Here's some photos I found online to give you an idea of scale.

its a BIG band. for me, someone who grew up in bum fuck nowhere, our marching band was never more than 50 people. this was like. peak to me. This halftime show is a fun one!

I think the last scenario would be most likely! I'm torn between Tali playing sax or trumpet, but that definitely would fit the criteria. I'm leaning more towards sax so he's not playing the same thing as Callon or Alex (Callon plays trumpet, Alex plays clarinet).

The bit I have going on right now in my mind for them is Callon is the asshole that rarely practices but is really good without trying. Alex works his ASS off constantly, but is prone to folding under pressure. Then Tali...well, he's okay. He's not a prodigy by any means, but once he decided to go to college he picked back up the instrument he played in high school nearly eighty years ago, and just hyperfixated on it until he was good enough again to handle the audition material. However, I can see him being a big music theory nerd and being super into jazz. I think this video is very him coded. He would sneak random anime/game motifs in solos constantly. Also I can see an interaction like this happening;

🧡: Oh, it's cause you modulate to f# minor on the V7/IV 🧡: D7 is a ger+6 in f# minor, you'd respell the B# as C 🔵: im sorry what the fuck did you just say to me 🔴: He's saying there's a key change, but it's not written as a key change. You swap to f# minor at measure 10. 🔵: well why didn't you just say that 🧡: it's more fun to explain it :D

Going back to the scenario at hand, there's not a lot of voice/trumpet or voice/sax stuff, so I like the idea that reader's been tasked with rearranging a piece for voice and ? for an arranging class. I'm not sure if this would work, but I really like the idea of Flower Duet, originally written for two vocalists. I like this arrangement for two trumpets a lot too. It'd be fun to see how to get a saxophone and a soprano voice to blend together, I'm not sure it would work, but...hmm. Here's what it sounds like with two soprano saxophones. Actually, a soprano saxophone could work, and Tali probably has only played tenor before. This could be fun...

I have. Ideas.

[burinazar]

i watched a video about deltarune and was like o _____ o in what can be described as 'appreciative mild panic' the whole time as they went on about tons of things i had no idea about. "it was really groundbreaking when determination was confirmed to exist in deltarune with the release of chapter two" and i'm like oh uhh i thought it was there the whole time cuz when the game ends they ask if you want to go on and you can, and also there's a red heart thing, isn't that determination... i do not know what determination is i think...

i am self aware enough to realize this is probably what happens when i am talking about my favorite MiA arc (or possibly MiA in general) and laying out facts gleaned from not having missed or overlooked any given line/scene due to multiple viewings and on top of that extra facts gleaned from steams and interviews and exhaustive analysis and faces one character made in one panel or some damn thing and chatting to other ppl who know all that stuff already and then a person has some question like "oh but like. i always wondered, um, how did they get to the sixth layer without a life reverberating stone...?" that is in fact understandable to be confused on if you're not like. paying the Fascinated/Fixated Nerd amount of attention to the media in question and just engaging with it casually. i have been on both sides of this for things it's always humbling and enriching to remember that i can be a lore master for one thing and a dope for another

[sebastian-stardewturnedmegay]

DNI Radfems,Zionists,Transandrophobia Deniers

Nsfw accounts can interect but please don't derail

uhhhhhh intro post

general info:17, American, white, cis, Very gay,sad

demisexual, demiromantic and poly

AuDHD,MDD,Aphantasia and probably more

jrpg nerd and fighting game fan. Mostly the megaten franchise,fire Emblem,GGST, and ace attorney

the stardew valley fixation has mostly faded but he was still my gay awakening and I can't think of a better name

fav artists:Kendrick lamar,Doechii,SZA,radiohead

hobbies:video games/video game collecting (literally just gba and 3ds) /baking,reading(no adhd meds so i'm taking a break)

I'm learning how to draw but I probably won't post about that for a bit because I am Not Good

I'll respond to asks but I will take forever because I am Nervous and not doing great and fairly antisocial. sorry if I ghost u its not ur fault

[kaycode1999]

@abbeevee

Hey pookie! I was wondering if I could get a jik matchup? (I started watching it and l'm so upset I didnt jump on earlier)

I'm bi and use she/they pronouns, but for the matchup I *would* prefer a guy (I love all the girls sm I promise)

I'm an enfp, very very loud and energetic (I also have adhd so that doesnt help)

I have a pretty big family (oldest of 4) so l'm used to loud environments, but if I do get quiet I will just like sob of relief it's so loud at my house all the time 😭😭

I'm into nerd stuff. I love comics and video games, I'm dming my first dnd game this week, very fun very cool. I mostly play story based games (dragon age my beloved). I'm big into music (I play guitar and alto sax), and I'm hoping to go into animation.

Being a florist would be cool too tho (flower language was a really big fixation for me)

Idk what my type is tbh, so whatever you think works!

(I'd be happy with anyone but gojo. I can't explain why but l dont like him.)

Thanks a bunch if you get around to this!

I match you with

Yuji Itadori

You two are so alike it’s almost freaky

You get so close you don’t even have to speak to know what the other is thinking

You are both loud and energetic but enjoy getting moments of peace

Because he doesn’t actually have any remaining family himself he basically integrates into yours. Your whole family accepts him and thinks of him as family. He won’t admit it probably but that fact makes him emotional

He is into most “ Nerd stuff” you are. Comics, video games, DnD

He loves music and enjoys listening to you play too. He’s your biggest cheerleader in everything

He thinks it’s so cool you want to get into animation or being a florist. Those are both interesting professions to him

He’s also just a caring and kind hearted person in general

You know what, I totally get why you don’t like Gojo. His arrogance and God complex can be off putting. As much as I like him I don’t blame you at all

[queenpiranhadon]

It's-a me with a new book series to hyper fixate on

So ehem I just finished the first book of the Inheritance Games (not adding it to my fandoms list until after I finish the series tho) and uh...

(spoilers below the cut)

BAHAHA XANDER WITH HIS SCONES I CAN'T- HE'S GONNA BECOME A POLITICIAN AND CREATE ENEMIES AND ALLIES SOLELY BY GIVING THEM BLUEBERRY OR LEMON SCONES HELP-

And the ending though?? Like I WANT Xander to go to Avery and work together because they both have crucial information but I also want him to get the recognition he deserves I will die on that hill.

Jameson seriously gives me Sirius Black + James Potter vibes (idk is that just me 😭). But like 👏🏾 do 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 treat 👏🏾 Avery like a piece in this big game, get over your dead ex and tell her you love her pls and thank you.

But like you know those videos about the best book boyfriends and their nicknames (idk maybe it's just me lmao) but like "Heiress" and "Mystery Girl" and "Cinderella" I'm squealing.

Grayson- okay there's a lot to him. I am in love with Avery's chemistry with Jameson but Grayson's chemistry with her is adorable too (in the first book at least). Like they start nerding out about statistics and probability like I want a man who will not only just judge me but join me as I overanalyze the implications of outfit, song, and set choices in movies or question the bounds of the universe and talk about the possibilities of the fourth dimension thank you very much.

But like, he has suffered a lot, even if nothing is really his fault, he takes it upon himself to blame himself because believes as the all-knowing Hawthorne he is responsible for everything. That being said, he could've been maybe less of an asshole in the beginning like man wdym by "you're injured and you will tell me why." like yes, that amount of dominance is attractive at certain moments but dude just leave the poor girl alone 😭

Nash I relate to on a spiritual level like oldest sibling, knows pretty much everything that his sibling are still trying to figure out, couldn't care less, doesn't care less, etc etc like join the club lmao. Obviously though, being in the Hawthorne family and having three extremely clever younger brothers all competitive in their own way, he's definitely felt undermined before and probably just stopped trying to be better. And I get that, even if I still try to be better than my own younger brother but he's just living his life, razzing up girls as one does lmao.

And his relationship with Libby...don't get me wrong, they're adorable together, like he's persistent in making sure she's secure and stable and his overprotectiveness is well...ehem he wants this things as they are lmaoo. But even so, I'm still a little wary about him because of his dating history but who knows maybe he'll prove me wrong.

Avery's so funny like first thing she thinks about when meeting any of the Hawthorne's (the grandsons I mean) is damn he's hot. And I mean after everything, I just love her, her reactions are on point, she's just trying to figure stuff out lmao.

I'm leaving my rant here uhm sorry for the essay heh

[whitnerd]

Get to know me 😙

Thanks @firstkanaphans for tagging me.

Do you make your bed? Yes, not neatly though

What’s your favorite number? 32. I guess because it's 4 x 8 which are also good numbers. Powers of 2 are satisfying.

What is your job? I'm an engineer. My degree is in computer engineering. Is the whole fixation on powers of 2 making more sense? lol

If you could go back to school, would you? I don't think so. I don't like working, but I'm not interested in a career change unless someone is willing to pay me an engineer's salary to play video games and knit sweaters.

Can you parallel park? Pretty sure the last time I parallel parked was for my driver's license test.

A job you had that might surprise people? I think people are surprised to learn that I'm an engineer sometimes? My jobs as a student were just things like tutoring, mentoring, babysitting.

Do you think aliens are real? Sure, it's a big universe

Can you drive a manual car? Nope

What’s your guilty pleasure? Spending entirely too many hours here on tumblr dot com. Also buying pretty yarn without a plan of what I'm going to do with it.

Tattoos? None. I'd like one, but I can't make myself commit.

Favorite color? Green! 🌱

Favorite type of music? Alternative rock?

Do you like puzzles? Sure!

Any phobias? I don't know if I'd call it a phobia, but I'm real freaked out by snails and slugs

Favorite childhood sport? Never liked sports. I did two years of dance and two years of soccer and was hated them all. Cello and art lessons were more my speed in the end.

Do you talk to yourself? For sure, myself and/or the cats

What movies do you adore? I enjoy a good Jane Austen adaptation. There are quite a few of those that I'll rewatch endlessly. The Lord of the Rings trilogy too like the big millennial nerd that I am.

Coffee or Tea? Coffee

First thing you wanted to be growing up? My parents tell me I wanted to be a K-mart cashier. First thing I remember wanting to be was an illustrator. Now I just settle for being "not bad for an engineer" when it comes to art. haha

If you want to do it, say I tagged you. 👍🏻

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Episode 47

Another creepy Juri-centric episode. She's kinda like the Ken of this season with all her trauma. It felt like this episode was jam packed with so much information that none of it had much of an emotional impact on me. Too frenetic. Crazy that there's only 4 episodes left! Let's see where things go...

Notes:

I swear Japan latches onto the randomest things. "Grani" is a reference to a horse from a Scandinavian legend. I looked this up and Grani is mentioned in several Japanese video game franchises: Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, and Arknights. They also mentioned the "famous knight Siegfried" who I'm pretty sure was referenced in .Hack. Either these obscure (to me) stories are common knowledge in Japan or writers in the anime/gaming industry are a bunch of history/lit nerds (I mean...that checks out).

We learn that Juri's fixation on "fate" spawned from childhood trauma when her mom died and her dad said it was her "fate." Yeah...that would mess anyone up at that age. I was terrified of dying when I was a kid.

Why are the kids just standing around inside a van instead of being properly secured with seatbelts? >:/ Well...I know they've faced far worse danger, but still! Think of the children, Digimon Tamers!

Lots of aesthetic, early 2000s computer desktop shots in this, very nice

A little confused how everyone realized that Juri was inside the big blob thing. Like, Takato knew that fake Juri was in there since they had their confrontation, but that doesn't necessarily mean that real Juri's in there, no? I guess they just assumed since she's nowhere to be found.

Glad that Juri's dad realized the error of his ways, but he can't really use "awkwardness" as an excuse for his neglect. I simultaneously feel bad for and am frustrated with her step mom who seems like a doormat. Ruki's mom being bad at comforting her was funny and relatable.

Takato begging Juri's dad to not be mad at her was a little heart breaking. What a good friend...

Ruki has a moment of "Guess my life ain't so bad" introspection while thinking about Juri. Definitely an important life lesson for kids to learn to empathize with others and not be so self-centered. Also follows the "don't judge a book by its cover" moral.

The Juri-monster of the week was part-unsettling and part-hard to take seriously neon rave monster. I found the voice mimicry thing more annoying than scary. The part that I found most creepy was the video camera spawning out of its tentacle.

So I guess the D-Reaper is using Juri as its sample to understand humanity or whatever, but it already decided that humanity was unworthy a long time ago, so why does it still need her and her memories? I don't get its motivations...

Felt really bad for Juri's dad when he attacked the monster with the van and it had no effect whatsoever, poor guy :'(

[silverslipstream]

video games

I love it when people are rigidly fixated on and are primarily known for playing one type of game, and when they try other games from other genres it blows their mind. I was the guy who played pretty much nothing but racing games, Kerbal Space Program and a little bit of Minecraft (because everyone loves a bit of Minecraft) until I played Halo 3 and that shit was awesome. It made my friend so happy as well, because he was a huge Halo nerd and now he could infodump all about his favourite games to me.

I've been playing SOMA with a friend recently, going in totally blind, and it has genuinely been one of the most rewarding gaming experiences I've ever had. Being unused to most first-person horror/puzzle games, there are often times where I don't know what the hell I'm doing and I have to use pattern recognition and intuition to find out what I'm meant to do. It also means I can relate a lot more to the character of Simon - unlike a seasoned player, I'm just as confused as the character I'm meant to be playing as, and this combination has genuinely elicited so much awe and wonder from me.

I think my next foray into the non-racing genre will be Cyberpunk 2077 - I'm a big fan of sci-fi, cyberpunk dystopia and futuristic narratives. My only hang-up is that I fucking suck donkey balls at first-person shooters, so if the combat segments are mainly FPS oriented, I might nope out.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop yapping about the epiphany I had about video games and go back to thinking about astronauts having a swordfight on the Moon, because why wouldn't I be thinking about astronauts swordfighting on the moon?

[goodolreliablejake]

I've had a thought on Game Theory and MatPat ever since I watched Big Joel's video on some of his film theories, and I guess this is the last chance to share it with any relevancy.

Game Theory was really important to me at some point, even as I increasingly saw the flaws. I fantasized about being MatPat: being a conventionally-attractive, able-bodied theater kid/science nerd with the full American Dream house-family dealio. I think that, whatever criticisms you may have, the videos have always been more harmless than not. They were like candy, and I enjoyed them as such.

But, at times there has been an undercurrent of something weird, something more nefarious. I first noticed it with his Scott Cawthon apologia.

After the news broke about the FNAF creator donating huge sums of money to support the campaign of Donald Trump and other conservative politicians, there was a huge backlash, especially from LGBT. Fan gave Scott Cawthon money, and he used that money to cause harm to them and theirs. MatPat's response is some centrist BS about how it wasn't about homophobia for Cawthon, it was about "national defense" (which is also bad for different reasons, and at best paints Cawthon as apathetic to the harm he's causing), and how even though it's okay to feel betrayed, it doesn't mean we should stop supporting the games, because the fan community has grown larger than one man.

As someone whose brand is deeply entwined with FNAF, the financial incentives for The Game Theorists are obvious; they weren't about to stop working with this franchise or its creator, they didn't want to tarnish their reputation by admitting past fault, and they needed to keep the cash cow rolling. So, they worked backwards from those conclusions to rationalize those decisions to their audience.

Then there are the more mundane gripes with the theorist channels: that videos are churned out so rapidly that they make sloppy errors, that they primarily advertise to children (with all the ethical ickiness that entails), that they use content from small creators without giving proper credit or linking to the sources, that the videos are overloaded with ads, usually including a paid sponsorship, several minutes of shilling their own store, and the usual youtube ads on top.

I think all of this speaks to the channels' underlying philosophy, and it's the philosophy of liberalism, by which I mean that marriage between capitalism and democracy. On the one hand, this is a moneymaking venture. It always has to be about making as much money as possible. But on the other hand, it needs to be (or seem, or allow the creators to feel) moral, and so the result is a view of the world where, yes, the company is trying to squeeze out as much money as possible, but also them getting more money is a good thing that benefits everyone. They do charity streams. They employ people. They "educate." "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."

I'm not just guessing at the motives here. Matpat has been transparent about Game Theory's Origin Story on multiple occasions. It's part of the narrative that justifies the channels' existence. At some point, Matpat pursued theater as a career. In college, he got his first taste of something like poverty, struggling to get by, camping out at McDonald's with its free refills and wifi (a life I've also lived at times and perhaps the origin of the Diet Coke fixation). And it scared the hell out of him. I don't think it could have had that kind of traumatic effect if he had not lived in privilege until that point. He didn't want to feel financially insecure ever again.

The solution was to create the Game Theory channel as a bridge into a much more lucrative career as a corporate consultant. Creating a popular, financially-viable youtube channel allowed him to sell himself as a social media expert to out of touch corporations. He's not really hiding that he's a sellout, just arguing that selling out is a good thing.

All in all, I can't bring myself to hate Game Theory. It had its place. But neither can I celebrate it, or look back with unconditional nostalgia. The problems with Game Theory are the problems with Youtube and the problems of capitalism. We compromise a little to survive, we compromise everything to make it big, and saddest of all are those who sell out and get nothing for it. The channels will continue without Matpat, and if the channels die, there will be countless other identical creators ready to take their place.

[blackoutfeverdream]

Nerds.

I'm glad to be among you.

Self-studied Normal People are phenomenally boring. I listen to people talk.

A lot.

They have resigned to personal irrelevance.

At least dweebs have passions.

Nerds just need to be more comfortable with women. I think they'd be better equipped than anyone to acknowledge the mind is independent of the body. Not all of you are scrawny sunless hamburger-faced caricature. I know many titanic dorks who also lift and have urbane interests.

But men and women are uncomfortable in the presence of women who are unafraid of intellectual affirmation. I don't mean needless querulousness

but it's often seen this way because women never are encouraged to communicate and have anything more than concurrence given gratifying weight by our educations.

The failure of feminism is catastrophe for non-homosocial men. It means our worlds have grown walls and ritual segregation.

The real tragedy of the thing is I suspect unless you have a female partner eager to engage you in the truth of her life or a sister or friend so engaged it's vanishingly unlikely you have any idea.

Why would we tell you?

These rituals are for our protection. But they grate and grind the passion out of some women and others turn out the way I do: Attention-seeking and stimulus-ravenous and desperate in my hunger for sexual affirmation and intellectual validation.

There's a cliche and it's true: Southern women either end up iron magnolias or crazy.

To have passion means contact with continual ache and injury and I know

I'm a trans woman, after all

boys have to endure the same.

I wish instead of the punch-down infantile displacement of violence and hatreds onto people even more persecuted, men just would recognize we belong together.

Society is supposed to be whole.

We're supposed to be enfranchised

so are you.

Do you know what you miss?

Even quiet in the presence of women.

Oh, you didn't know that's why women seem to talk a lot around men?

Men don't understand how many of the things they perceive as affirming we see as terrifying necessity.

We echolocate you: That's why women always engage you in conversation in enclosed spaces if we can't avoid you. It also mollifies by reassuring you that you have attention. And a man who feels at ease is like a well-fed tiger.

An angry man is not like an angry woman. An angry woman is stereotypically an emotional hazard

and angry men might beat, rape, or kill you, and in all likelihood people will make excuses for them.

The aggressive hostility nerd culture shows for women shows just how crabbucketish and incel-adjacent so much is

and that's catastrophic. You've allowed the politics of anger and resentment a seat at the table for the same stupid reason as society writ huge: You've convinced yourself that you're small and vulnerable and you need to accept these mutants or you won't have anyone.

But that's preposterous.

I don't think there's anything more ridiculous than a fixation on sports. My god, play them; but that's it. And not the TBI ones, either.

But that's normal, isn't it?

Think of how pervasive video games and comic books are.

It's because social mores are evolutionary and only revolutionary when major upheaval erupts.

And that means it isn't hard to normalize things.

Just act normal or even better-than-normal.

You want more women to come to Battletech games?

Hell, you want more blood broadly?

Be welcoming. Don't be weird. Believe women when they tell you their feelings. We only lie to you when you make it clear it's dangerous to be honest- and that's more than I think a lot of men understand.

You are judged by the behavior of your worst.

You know that's unfair

we know that's unfair

but you know what's really unfair?

Being naive and getting raped or killed.

That's the hazard that exists. Women don't do those things with frequency to men. In part it's because men have convinced themselves they're unrapeable because gender and social roles are rigid and grotesque- but even then, statistics don't lie, and they're brazen in their honesty. The majority of male rape is by other men despite most men being in some way heterosexual.

Usually women don't. Men are socially more violent- sexually, emotionally, physically. It's encoded cultural norms and these are horrendous.

It's aspersive to the majority.

When people said #NotAllMen, do you know why we called them repulsive?

It's because only someone truly malevolent would deny the collective responsibility men hold for their fellows' behavior, the same as women are responsible for women's. But the difference is that women are institutionally disadvantaged in androcracy and men protect each other- legally, physically, socially- in a way women cannot do for one another.

Because of course we don't impugn literally every man!

But there aren't enough good ones for the evil to be singular exceptions.

It's no different than 'boomers, really: Their compulsive solidarity has soured just about everyone on finding out if they really do have Good Ones. 'boomer is a pejorative for a reason.

Well among women man is a slur, and that's just honest. It's the dismal groan of an underclass.

Heterosexual women love you

and consider it a curse. That's where we are.

You can start in the smallest ways because it costs you nothing to be a considerate and kind person. It's better.

It's happier.

Treat us as people.

Individuals.

If you don't want to be one emanation of All Men, then you've gotta give us the same courtesy of individuation.

I do not care what your trampy girlfriend did at a formative time in your life: I dress like a slut because I find it gratifying to be able to do it. It doesn't mean I cheat on boyfriends or girlfriends. Makeup isn't some kind of mendacity machine. It's an art and a skill and makes me smile when I see the girl in the mirror.

And you know what? I won't judge you for your four-color entertainment. I'll judge the content but not you.

Do you know the shit I write?

Ohgod, antis think I belong on government lists. :3

But that's not the person I am in reality. I'm a bundle of neuroses and traumas and I'm pretty and hysterical and narcissistic and I have a good body, too

and I use the colon-three and yes I am a sub and I love to get pushed down in bed and I love to have civilized conversations with people that don't necessarily involve any destination more than just having a pleasant talk about things.

You can get to know us as people without telling yourself you need to want to fuck us.

I know some part of your biology says: Hell, yeah~, every time you see a hot girl.

I do, too, honestly. And a hot guy. But I know how to keep it in my pants and I haven't convinced myself my femininity is dictated by how much I cleave to a script made mostly of pathological erotomania.

Most people actually do want to fuck each other

but it's a simpleminded primate spasm, it has no meaning, it's a transient thought.

Or maybe I'm just hypersexual and weird- but still.

I don't come on to every guy I discreetly fit for my body. I'm nice and I smile and sometimes they flirt and so do I

and that's that. They have lives.

I think men think of women as accessories, pretty things that inhabit the moment.

Well, we have full lives that brought us to that moment. That merits respect.

I think nerds are the likeliest to be able to embrace feminism because they're already there in a lot of their fiction and halfway there in their ideation of themselves as a minority persecuted by other people's unthinking bigotry and conformity.

Huh.

I wonder.

Do you maybe have natural allies who could say literally the same thing?

These are not artificial intersectionalities. Most of us are nerds anyway.

God.

I will say one of the most upsetting tendencies is for social subgroups to replicate an oppressive overarching society's norms.

There really is no need for nerds to assert their masculinity by primate displays out of compensatory impulses. Society's willingness to belittle by implication of femininity shows how toxic an androcentric culture has become.

Nerdism always is emasculated in some way- unathletic, uncombative, intellectual. Women somehow are supposed to be repulsed by that.

Well- physicality is desirable, but even I only can last twelve hours.

Culture is what engages people. I wish dorks would see that.

They're the natural first candidate for the total rejection of gender norms, which I consider a necessary precondition for feminism's reification.

It does not mean the abolition of gender as a concept- you need to be comfortable with girly-girls calling themselves that. My enduring fantasy is to be a 'fifties housewife. My makeup always is perfect and so is my hair and so are my clothes.

I wear stockings and heels and very, very feminine clothes.

I'm a woman. It's meaningful to me and I should not need to diminish this as somehow aberrant.

And by obvious nature men who care about their masculinity will not be seen as gratuitous for burnishing it.

It won't be artificial and oppressive. Yes, I hope fitness will be normalized.

Everyone can be themselves.

Women won't be judged in accordance with their notional fuckability.

Men won't have to worry, either.

If the solution sounds simple, it's because it is. The buts always belong to a school of proactive pessimist whiner that pretends at cynicism but it's true naivete to think the system is somehow more meaningful than the current dumb biases of the people who man it.

But that's what it is.

Change and things have to change.

It'll be delightful.

[championofravens]

Thoughts:

this was a remarkably good decision at the very least for my own sanity. i do not think i would have been a rational and decent gamer any longer if i kept on trying to play destiny and had to witness firsthand the storybeats that followed my departure. if you had voted for me to not uninstall, you were WRONG

so far, none of my hail mary's have come to pass and i have not been forced to reinstall by bungee suddenly making some truly excellent decision. did you know variks hasnt been in a lore piece since season of the splicer during the beyond light era? unrelated fun fact

my urge to install has only been once or twice, entirely for gameplay reasons. i see a datto video where he uses witherhoard and something in my heart does twitch. i miss being a void warlock with my comfy kit, i miss my bow and my wither and all the god rolls chilling in my vault. but not enough

while i cant say for certain if the game has gotten truly worse since i stopped, my faith in bungee as a studio has been entirely obliterated both thanks to the general game industry AND, primarily, bungee themselves

despite all my feelings, i have made some efforts to keep track of lore releases throughout the seasons. and i can confidently say that i dont know who the fuck they hired as a writer that wasn't me but some of this stuff is garbage in a way i didnt think destiny storytelling could get

as of right now i have no desire to witness the final shape or plan to slip back into the game for it's next narrative cycle

The hardest bit has absolutely been losing the comfortable space that the game took up in my brain. I thought of very little aside from this game, and my creations within it, for... 3 years at least. Last year was the 4th. And though I become hooked into things still for the short term, nothing has yet to drag me into a new fixation to that level. This isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things... except that as a nerd who grew up online, this is the first time I'm experiencing this long term detachment from fandom. It is weird! My creative and social avenues have been harshly restricted and are difficult for me to navigate now. My life has always been overlayed by escapism... and Destiny's collapse coinciding with me living alone with my husband for the first time was poignant and did some fuckshit to my brain.

But I am genuinely very grateful I quit. I am so happy and relieved that I am not still trying to tangle with my love and all my rage at the same time. It might be the coward's way but taking my love out back and shooting it saved me. Power to everyone who is stronger than me and doesn't take Destiny's worsening quality as a personal affront. I was never going to be happy with the story's shift in tone, I was never going to see in these characters what I once saw in them, and I was going to be fucking squeezed out of so much money buying stupid fucking season passes and fancy armor sets.

Looked at my calendar and I think I just hit my one year of Destiny 2 uninstallation.